Vol. 4 Issue 07

THE VOL. 04 ISSUE 07 06.12.2011

SPECIAL GENERAL ISSUE

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

SGM

WHAT HAPPENED PAGE 2

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page two | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

NEWS

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

SGM

Twelve student association directors impeached

Former Kwantlen Student Association director of operations Nipun Pandey gets involved in a heated exchange with students attempting to oust him from his position in the Cedar building courtyard outside the Nov. 30 special general meeting. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

NEWS

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page three

SGM

Five new interim board members appointed I

MATT DIMERA NEWS EDITOR

The vote was unanimous: 352 for, and zero against.

Students braved pepper spray and multiple fire alarms to send a clear message to the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA) as they voted overwhelmingly to impeach 12 board members at a special general meeting Wednesday, Nov. 30.

The meeting had to be paused twice.

The fire alarm was pulled and a noxious substance released in the hallways where students were registering to participate in the meeting.

KSA council members Harman “Sean Birdman” Bassi, Nipun Pandey, Balninna “Nina Kaur” Sandhu, Parminder “Bobby” Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar, Shivinder Grewal, Money Dhaliwal, Gaven Pangly, Simmy Grewal, Kamalpreet Dha and Jagraj Hayre have all been removed from the board and placed in bad standing.

A thirteenth council member named for impeachment, Karamveer Dhillon, had already resigned, but was also put in bad standing.

“The Kwantlen Student Association’s board of directors have brought shame and embarrassment to the Kwantlen community,” said Richmond representative Sasha Mirza, after she moved the motion to impeach the 12 council members.

She criticized them for dropping the civil case that alleged former KSA directors and staff members had misused more than $2 million in student fees to commit mismanagement and breach of fiduciary duty. She further attacked them for not revealing that some board members were directly related to defendants in the case and called the KSA’s recent hiring of Danish Butt, one of the defendants being sued by the KSA only a month prior, “a shocking twist.”

“Kwantlen students deserve so much better,” Mirza argued. “They need to be reminded that it is us, the students, who

Richmond representative Sasha Mirza moved the motion to remove twelve KSA directors.

MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

are in charge of the Kwantlen Student Association and not them.”

Students present at the meeting cheered and applauded as each motion passed without opposition.

In order for the resolutions to succeed, a minimum of 250 students had to attend the special general meeting and 75 per cent of those attending had to vote in favour.

Another 13 current and former students and staff members were also placed in bad standing: Aastha Arora, Gary Dhaliwal, Justine Franson, Parmvir Lehal, Harman Mann, Joty Padda, Mehtab Rai, Pavan Sodhan, Yasser Ahmad, Jatinder “Joey” Atwal, Danish Butt, Jaivin Khatri and Aaron Takhar.

As members in bad standing, all 26 are barred from running and voting in future student association elections.

Five transitional board members were appointed at the special general meeting: Christopher Girodat, Arzo Ansary, Devon Richards, Ehssan Ghahremani and Sunita Sohi. The resolution appointing the transi-

tional board members also directs them to hire a general manager and a chief returning officer and to hold a general election as soon as possible. According to the resolution, the new board members will not be paid.

The KSA’s current board now consists of nine students, including the four remaining council members who were not up for impeachment: Langley campus director Jennifer Campbell, Langley representative Ken McIntyre, Richmond representative Corbin Mountford and Richmond representative Sasha Mirza The meeting was ordered because of a 277-signature petition presented to the KSA by Girodat earlier in the month requesting that the meeting (SGM) be held Nov. 30 to remove 13 council members and to install a new set of bylaws.

The petition alleged that the named directors had brought “the Kwantlen Student Association into disrepute through reckless decision-making and the irresponsible use of student funds.”

Petition organizers rallied in the Surrey Kwantlen courtyard before the Nov. 30 special general meeting to protest the actions of the KSA board of directors. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

page four | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

IN PHOTOS

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

SGM

Special general meeting chair Derek Robertson counts votes to oust members of the Kwantlen Student Association board and place them in bad standing with the society on Nov. 30 at Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s Surrey campus. In total, 441 students attended the meeting and voted unopposed to remove the members. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

Gurbaksh Dhaliwal, KSA International Students Liason, addresses the crowd at the SGM. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

Students vote without opposition to remove the KSA board and place several students in bad standing with the association. A temporary board was also voted in unanimously. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

A Kwantlen student holds a sign protesting former Reduce All Fees president Danish Butt. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

IN PHOTOS

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page five

SGM

Kwantlen student Reena Bali shouts at the current KSA board members while the SGM was put on hold after pepper spray was fired in a crowded hallway and a fire alarm was pulled. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

KSA director of operations Nipun Pandey (centre) and president Sean Bassi (right) shout back at members of the opposition group while waiting outside Kwantlen’s Surrey campus for the SGM to resume on Nov. 30. Both Pandey and Bassi were removed from their positions after students voted them out without opposition. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

Two private security guards block photographers from taking pictures of KSA board members while they talk to Surrey RCMP after the SGM was disrupted by a fire alarm and pepper spray was set off in a crowded hallway. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

page six | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

NEWS

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

SGM

Removed KSA directors: “We’re the board” I

MATT DIMERA NEWS EDITOR

The five members of the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA) executive who were impeached at the Nov. 30 special general meeting (SGM) have refused to recognize their removal from the board.

Former executive directors Nina Sandhu, Bobby Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar and Nipun Pandey attempted to enter the KSA offices on the Surrey campus, Thursday morning but were barred entry by Kwantlen security guards.

“We don’t recognize it whatsoever, they don’t even exist as a board right now. We’re the board,” Sandhu told The Runner.

The five directors were also accompanied by two former defendants in the lawsuit they recently settled with the KSA: Danish Butt and Jatinder “Joey” Atwal.

A visibly angry Sandhu accused security manager Harry McNeil and the university of taking sides and allowing the new board into the offices.

“Why have you given them the authority to be in the office?” Sandhu asked. “It looks like you’re working for them.”

In addition to several Kwantlen security guards present, a Surrey RCMP officer observed discreetly from the side, although he did not get involved.

Addressing The Runner, Sandhu accused the organizers of the special general meeting of not allowing her and the other

ousted board members to speak in their own defense.

“We were barred,” she explained. “Ask the petitioners of that meeting why we were barred from the meeting. I’m a student. I’m an elected official. I was barred from the meeting.”

Sandhu was unable to say who specifically was responsible.

“Someone told me I wasn’t allowed in.

He said you’re not allowed to get in. They wouldn’t let us register,” she said. “If I was let into the goddamn meeting, I could have said my statement.”

Pandey, the former director of operations, said he was able to register for the meeting, but claimed that he had also been refused entry.

When asked to explain why not a single student voted against the motion to impeach the board, Sandhu, Padda and Pandey claimed that their supporters had been too intimidated to attend.

“They were scared to come back because they got bear maced,” said Sandhu.

“Students were scared as hell,” said Padda. “That’s all I’m going to say.”

Sandhu insisted that while she and the other executives don’t believe that the SGM was racially motivated, other students do.

“The majority of students who got maced yesterday were Indo-Canadian,” she said. “As a student association we have said this is not a race issue . . . but we can’t

control the students.”

Earlier, Sandhu approached newly-appointed transitional board member Arzo Ansary as she walked by, asking her to rectify the situation.

“I will find out what’s going on and let you know,” said Ansary before retreating into the KSA offices.

“I need to get into my office and work. You do not work here,” yelled Sandhu. “I work here.”

Shortly after, Langley campus director Jennifer Campbell, one of the four board members who were not impeached, came out to speak with Sandhu. The two agreed to meet later in the afternoon to discuss the situation.

Nina Sandhu’s last tweet before being voted out of office at Wednesday’s special

“

I need to get into my office and work ... you do not work here, I work here.

NINA SANDHU former KSA director of finance

general meeting.

“Everyone had just started fleeing; it was awful” Six-month pregnant student gets pepper sprayed outside student association meeting.

I

SARAH SCHUCHARD MATT DIMERA

When security guards scattered through the hallway where students were lined up to register for the KSA’s special general meeting, Katie Walker didn’t give it much thought, until the students present began to cough and wheeze at the, “waft... [that] came up the hallway.”

“My first reaction was, ‘oh my god, like this is what they’ve done. They’re trying to get rid of us,’” she recalls. “I should have been panicking about something else probably.” Katie Walker is currently six

months pregnant.

Walker, a third-year fine arts student, was with students lined-up in the Cedar building of the Kwantlen Surrey campus to register to vote on the removal of most of the then-current KSA council members.

In order for the removal to be successful, 250 students needed to be present in the meeting. As numbers began to surpass the required occupancy, pepper spray was released in the hallway, followed by a fire alarm, causing students to evacuate the building.

“I had just turned around to thank everyone [when] everyone had just started

fleeing,” says Walker. “It was awful.”

She says she became involved with the drive to oust the KSA council members after attending a council meeting.

“I went to one meeting and I just watched them squash and bully; and just blatantly disregard all of the rules ... it was just atrocious.”

Walker was on the Surrey campus all day Wednesday to encourage students to vote. While standing outside in the cold, waiting for local firefighters to air out the building, she was even more determined to return to the meeting.

“We’re just so happy that all these peo-

ple are here and we hope that this isn’t going to ruin it.”

Twenty minutes after the building was cleared and the meeting was restarted, a stink bomb was set off in another hallway and the fire alarm was pulled again, temporarily stopping the meeting again.

After the second disruption, volunteers were posted at all of the fire alarms in the building, allowing the meeting to proceed unimpeded.

Surrey RCMP say the investigation into the incidents is ongoing.

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

NEWS

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page seven

KSA

Former KSA executives ordered off campus KPU spokesperson says the matter is being investigated but can’t comment further because of privacy concerns.

I

MATT DIMERA NEWS EDITOR

After being impeached Nov. 30, the five recently-ousted executives of the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA) were dealt another blow Thursday, when some of them were presented with letters from the university and ordered to leave the campus.

Former executive directors Nina Sandhu, Bobby Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar and Nipun Pandey were waiting outside the Surrey KSA offices Thursday after spending more than an hour unsuccessfully attempting to negotiate their way inside, when several of them were handdelivered official letters on Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) letterhead.

None of the five would explicitly declare what was in the letters, but Sandhu mentioned that they had been temporarily suspended.

“It’s very serious on your part. I hope you know that,” Sandhu told Kwantlen security manager Harry McNeil.

“We have [legal] counsel. You’ll be hearing from them very, very shortly,” said Sandhu.

“They’re going to get a human rights case filed on them soon,” said former KSA director of operations Nipun Pandey after

reading one of the letters.

Sandhu protested that they had personal belongings in the offices and McNeil agreed to let them in one at a time to retrieve them.

“I want you to understand that once you’ve got your stuff, you must leave the property,” McNeil told the former KSA officials.

Shortly before 1 p.m., Kwantlen security escorted Sandhu, Padda, Ghuman, Takhar and Pandey out of the building through the parking lot and off of Kwantlen property onto an adjacent sidewalk.

A Surrey RCMP officer observed the removal from a distance.

KPU spokesperson Joanne Saunders confirmed that some students had been escorted off campus Thursday but was unable to explain why.

“This matter is being investigated and it is a serious matter, but at this time because of privacy concerns for our students we can’t comment further,” said Saunders.

KSA Langley director Jennifer Campbell told The Runner that the issue was unrelated to the student association.

“It actually has nothing to do with the KSA,” said Campbell. “That is between them and the school; we were not told why.”

Nina Sandhu, former Director of Finance for the KSA, reads a letter presented to her by Kwantlen Polytechnic University security before she and members of the ousted council are escorted off campus. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

Ousted KSA council members Nipun Pandey (right) and Bobby Padda, read letters presented from Kwantlen Polytechnic University before they are escorted off campus. Members of the former council were on campus demanding access to the student association offices. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER

page eight | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

EDITORIAL

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

OPINION

When is sexy too much?

The Runner is student owned and operated

by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 72 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 2M8 www.runnermag.ca 778-565-3801

Vol. 4, Issue no. 07 December 06, 2011 ISSN# 1916-8241

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor / Jeff Groat editor@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3803

AARONISNOTCOOL/FLICKR

American Apparel’s salacious advertising is provocative — and it works.

ILAURA COLLINS

American Apparel’s shock value advertising is getting people talking — and displaying young women in controversial poses is a marketing strategy the company plans on keeping.

According to Washington Square News, American Apparel’s marketing campaign is based on a series of sexually exploitative ads that are seen as amateur pornography.

American Apparel photographs women in a way the company views as honest.

These sexually provocative ads have often been compared to companies like Victoria’s Secret, who also display their models wearing very little.

Aaron Anderson, sales representative territory manager for Lighthouse Brewery, said that American Apparel features porn-stars in their ads with harsh lighting, submissive posses and suggestive facial expressions.

“Victoria’s Secret takes a higher class stance,” he said. The company focuses on making their models look sexy, but “in a more socially acceptable version.” Victoria’s Secret features models who look powerful and strong, rather than scared and passive.

Lighthouse Brewery also took a risk with their advertising. They produced a handful of provocative internet ads to make a statement and get noticed. The reaction was very similar to that of the American Apparel ads. Some people were disgusted and voiced their opinions, and a lot of talk went around if people had seen the brewery’s ads on YouTube.

“What it accomplished was get-

ting Lighthouse on people’s tongues, getting people talking about Lighthouse and bringing it back to the forefront, regardless of whether people agreed with the advertising or not,” said Anderson. “At the end of the day, our sales are up.”

American Apparel is open about sexuality, and the company’s ad strategy is about tailoring different advertisements for different demographics. Now Magazine in Toronto says these shots are fairly nondescript, except for the fact that the company uses real women, not models, and barely legal porn can be detected in most of the shots. Anderson said American Apparel is doing this on purpose.

The problem behind this strategy, said Anderson, is that they are actually creating a niche market. Those that are attracted to the ads are rebellious youth. “ O n c e you go a direction, you have to stick with it,” said Anderson. “It wouldn’t make sense for them to all of a sudden change their format … because you’re confusing the message. You have to pick the personalities for your product and then roll with it.”

Roughly 70 per cent of these ads are targeted towards women. The reasoning behind this, said Anderson, is that women audiences see these ads and have a sense of vanity to fill, and purchase the clothing so that they can be just as sexy as the advertised women.

Now reported that some audiences said the low-grade photographs degrade women and undermine the labour-rights message American Apparel promotes. Others defended the campaign, saying that in “stitching multiple identities into one shirt – naughty, political and brand-free – Ameri-

can Apparel could be positioning itself to be the iconic outfitter of the decade.”

Controversy is free publicity. If a company buys one ad for $4,000, then that ad gets talked about on blogs, social media and in print — all for the cost of one ad. Without the controversy American Apparel ads create, the company would have to pay six times as much in advertising to reach the same number of people. From that perspective, Anderson said, it is good business.

“They are taking a direction that constantly produces controversy. They are willing to break boundaries and push the buttons of the advertising world,” said Anderson.

American Apparel’s CEO, Dov Charney, told Now that people who say the ads are derogatory to women are behind the times.

“They’re old-thinking conservatives who are repeating false arguments or arguments that may have been true 30 years ago based on a context of social, cultural and political dynamics of another era. But right now, the women in the photographs and young adult women today I think celebrate the aesthetic of our advertising.”

The specific ads that reveal more skin than clothes are just “branding American Apparel itself and not focusing on any one specific product,” said Anderson.

This makes it difficult to decipher what American Apparel’s ads say about the company. “It is hard to read corporate culture for any company based on its advertising. They pay advertisers top dollar to give them the image regardless of what the corporate culture is,” said Anderson.

“This is a product for young girls to try and look sexy.”

Culture Editor / Kristi Alexandra culture@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3804 News Editor / Matt DiMera news@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3805 Production Editor / Antonio Su production@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3806 Media Editor / Matt Law media@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3806 SENIOR WRITERS: Senior Culture Writer / Chris Yee Senior Entertainment Writer / Mike Shames Senior Features Writer / Lliam Easterbrook CONTRIBUTORS: Sana Sohel, Max Hirtz, Jacob Zinn, Sarah Schuchard, Bianca Pencz, Sarine Gulerian, Laura Collins, Catherine Campbell, Courtney Burt, Jay Cabalu, Kirsten Sedore, Caroline Safaniuk, Chelsea Lawrick, Andres Salaz, Roxanne Charles Cover Art: Matt Law BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager, Ads, Classifieds DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca / 778-688-3797 Office Co-ordinator / Victoria Almond office@runnerrag.ca / 778-565-3801

Funds are collected by the university and channelled to PIPS via the KSA.

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

FEATURE

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page nine

ARTS

fall arts review Inside Wilmer Courtney Burt 23�X33�

Charcoal on paper I have chosen my Grandpa, Wilmer, to use as my subject matter for this semester. Recently I began to experiment with different methods of applying charcoal while creating portrait images, allowing me to focus on the process of drawing and painting rather then trying to draw an image with photographic qualities.

Leaving the photograph behind, I created a portrait of my Grandpa through my memories of him. I have now become fascinated with the process of creating a portrait rather then what the portrait actually looked like. My inspiration in creating this portrait of my Grandpa came from studying the works of Francis Bacon and the techniques practiced by Jackson Pollock. The combination of Bacon, Pollock and my ability to show my thoughts, visions and feelings through someone other then myself as the subject evolved into this portrait.

Using my ability to envision or see images and shapes in things led me to work backwards with the process of drawing. courtney.burt@hotmail.com

page ten | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

FEATURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

ARTS

The Apopriation of Sasha Fierce (detail) Jay Cabalu 40” x 60” Mixed media collage

The Apopriation of Sasha Fierce comments on the process by which popular culture appropriates gruesome subject matter and sensationalizes it for mass consumption.

The image references advertising and propaganda using imagery from Beyonce’s Video Phone music video as well as Roy Lichtenstein’s seminal work Whaam!. The image was composed mainly of newsprint and magazine clippings creating a work that uses forms of media to discuss media. jay.allan.cabalu@gmail.com

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

ARTS

Untitled Kirsten Sedore 39 “ x 50” Graphite on paper I drew inspiration from artist Robert Longo’s Men in the Cities series that depicts sharply dressed business men positioned in twisting motion. With my piece, I chose to use present-day attire that reflects a popular style of today’s youth (the leather jacket, hoodie, and chucks). The backwardsfalling motion and the turned away face objectify the figure, giving the image a feeling of disconnect.

With Longo’s figures, some have their faces shown and some do not, the figures are caught in more of a natural way, and the clothing is solid black, flattening the figures. To make sure my piece was not entirely derivative of Longo’s, I chose to use only graphite to create texture and value throughout the figure. sedorek@gmail.com

FEATURE

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page eleven

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

ARTS

Rips and Tears Caroline Safianuk Ceramic, collage & mixed media Formally, in this multi-faceted piece, the juxtaposition is meant to elicit harmony, balance, and unity. The contrasts of the firing techniques (raku and gas reduction) are both complimentary and diverse.

This art work is a conceptual piece. The central idea embraces the notion of difference; for instance, the “categorical rules” of people’s social environments have a direct relationship to what I would call a “disorder” — a segregation of people’s minds and spirits. Recently, I have developed a new appreciation for the importance of relationships and social interactions. On one hand, it is difficult to encapsulate many elements of happiness. On the other hand, I admit that part of what makes me feel happy is to be connected to people and the world that surrounds me while embracing everyone without reserve or judgment. I only learned this by making mistakes.

Furthermore, my own pursuit of selfishness and undesirable pleasures never made me feel anything except lonely and vacant in my heart. Ultimately, no one is perfect. The idea of what is “right “ in a legal sense does not always correlate with a moral reason. The archaic world around me suggests that there is so much more to happiness than what or who is in front of me. I now beg to differ. The creation of this project, the relationships I fostered throughout, and the result of my expressiveness, makes me feel happy and content. caroline.safianuk@kwantlen.net

SECT

TION

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page thirteen

VICTIM 1 (part of diptych) Chelsea Lawrick 20” x 24” Digital print In this image I have digitally layered photographs of the twenty-six women Robert William “Willie” Pickton is accused of (already charged for, in some cases) murdering. I have created one face – a face of a woman who has never and will never exist. I am interested in the effects mass dissemination has on the meaning of an image.

The work is meant to comment on and critique the over use of images, the notion of the icon, and the loss of meaning and identity through this mass dissemination of their images in groups. The identity of the actual women who were murdered has been lost, and instead their images have become a stand in for the murders themselves and for William Pickton. When we as viewers see their faces we probably think of Pickton before we think of who these women actually were as individuals. They are no longer their own person but rather a collective Victim, almost a Jane Doe. chelsealawrick.com chelsea.lawrick@gmail.com

page fourteen | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

FEATURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

ARTS

the very deniable certainty of existent afflictions Andres Salaz 48� x 65 “ Oil on wood My work is about the power of irrelevance. It reflects the impact that boredom and tediousness in every-day life inflicts on itself. It shows the immutable apathy of lukewarm decisions. It mocks the constant heavy weight of living and not being aware of being alive. It is about the contrast between the flavourless choice of being nothing and the unavoidable and painful qualities that an active and meaningful life must contain. It is also a celebration of life, elevating the seemingly futile actions above the heaviness of comfort, acceptance and death. My work represents duality, but it also lies; it pretends to stand for something, it pretends to hide from everything, and it creates questions that no one should care to answer or even ask. negation--delirium.tumblr.com aslz@hotmail.com

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

FEATURE

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page fifteen

ARTS

Spirit of the Phoenix Roxanne Charles 2.5’ x 2’ (approximately) Acrylic on paper This piece explores the idea of transformation in both the physical and spiritual form. This particular piece is a story about a woman and the various struggles she has faced. The fire represents these struggles and the use of color reminds us that there is beauty in even the darkest of things. Despite her vulnerability the figure stands strong amongst the flames for she has the Spirit of the Phoenix. Born from a dark history, she has risen above all odds and began her transformation. The flames are very much a part of her. This design, like much of my work, reflects the two very different worlds in which I live, embracing both my traditional views and western values. I enjoy melding Salish design with sexual depictions of the female form because it has traditionally been hard to differentiate male and female figures. I wanted to show the beauty of the female body in a strong and dignified way.

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

CULTURE

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page sixteen

POP

Culture Roundup Your biweekly revue of pop-culture –– from the amusing to the irreverent

Britney’s 30!

Everyone’s favourite pop-tart mess, Britney Spears, turned 30 on Dec 2.

The former Mouseketeer has gone through a lot during her career –– which, by the way, started when she was just three.

From being a Disney starlet to her 48-hour marriage to her head-shaving mental breakdown, she’s the one star that all gossip rags love to hate and hate to love.

They’ve even taken a few stabs at her devastatingly adorable sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

With seven completely manufactured albums under her belt, a couple films, two marriages, some kids and one psychotic episode, the girl –– wait, now a woman –– has made quite a life for herself in just three decades. Love it or hate it.

Muppet Movie

A $2.5 million degree?

Remember that time that Jim Henson designed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes in their movies? Well, Jim Henson was also responsible for a couple other characters of the past, and now they’re coming back in a new movie.

Just in time for the holidays!

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

CULTURE

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page seventeen

LIVE MUSIC

The Sounds turn up the volume I

JACOB ZINN CONTRIBUTOR

Even on the last night of their North American tour, The Sounds clearly weren’t jetlagged from the non-stop travel schedule when they played Vancouver.

The Swedish ’00s-era new wave group blasted through a 17-song setlist at the Commodore Ballroom on Tuesday, Nov. 22, and they turned up the energy as much as the volume.

The venue was filled with hipsters wearing thick-rimmed, non-prescription

glasses and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, but pretentious crowd aside, the headliners put on a concert that wasn’t exclusive to skinny social outcasts with godawful moustaches.

The opening acts —The Limousines and Kids At The Bar — made what I assume was music, but they were overpowered by their pulsating bass that made the ballroom vibrate until your earplugs popped out.

Drummer Fredrik Blond literally kicked off the show with “It’s So Easy” and their latest single, “Dance with the

Devil”, from 2011’s Something to Die For. Frontwoman Maja Ivarsson weaved operatic verses around glittery keyboards and orchestral sound effects.

Ivarsson, channelling her inner Debbie Harry, excited the crowd as she started singing “Seven Days a Week” from their 2002 debut album, followed by “No One Sleeps When I’m Awake”.

“It feels pretty fucking good,” she said, looking out to the spandexed, neon, plaid flannel, tight-‘n’-bright (fashion-unconscious) audience.

The band was a slithering silhouette

The Sounds singer Maja Ivarsson channelled her inner-Debbie Harry on the Commodore Ballroom stage on Nov. 22. MAX HIRTZ/THE RUNNER

on a chameleon backdrop of sapphire blue, violet and chartreuse low-lighting, contrasted by violent, blinding strobes that compromised the ambiance.

“The No No Song” brought a prominent synthesized melody and a catchy, electric hook by lead guitarist Félix Rodríguez heading into “Something to Die For”.

The crowd got in a tizzy over “Song with a Mission” as Ivarsson paraded on stage and did high kicks in her short dress, unafraid of the exposure.

Proving she’s the anti-diva, Ivarsson emerged onstage after “Better Off Dead” with a cigarette and a beer (not PBR), going into the ballad “Night After Night”.

“I want to see your cameras … cell phones … lighters … crackpipes,” she said as a few dozen Bics and Zippos went in the air.

“Just kidding.”

The energy in the ballroom multiplied with “Painted by Numbers” and an upbeat performance of “4 Songs & a Fight” upped it even more into “Dorchester Hotel”.

The relentless vivacity wouldn’t let up as keyboardist Jesper Anderberg started off “Ego”, a surefire in-demand track, and the thumping “Yeah Yeah Yeah”.

They wrapped up their main set with their second single, “Living in America”, and left the stage for several minutes only to come back to finish what they started.

“It’s the last show of the fuckin’ tour, so let’s go fuckin’ crazy tonight!” Ivarsson yelled going into the encore.

The show descended into an uptempo, cymbal-clashing, fist-pumping, strobe-lit fiasco, in the best sense of the word.

They closed with the dance-punk hit “Tony the Beat” from 2006 and the electronic anthem “Hope You’re Happy Now” off Living in America.

By that point, the fans were more than happy.

The Sounds got the youth on their feet and shook them to their knees, leaving the ballroom floor with more shoe marks than ever.

Go to runnermag.ca/2011/11/the-soundsturn-up-the-volume to see a full photo gallery of The Sounds show.

page eighteen | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

LIVE MUSIC

Kyuss Lives! is still alive and kicking

Kyuss Lives!, formerly known as Kyuss, continued its stoner-rock legendry without ex-bandmates Josh Homme and Nick Oliveri at the Commodore Ballroom on Nov. 23. JACOB ZINN/THE RUNNER

I

LLIAM EASTERBROOK SENIOR FEATURES WRITER

The artists formerly known as Kyuss played a sold-out show under the pseudonym Kyuss Lives! at the Commodore Ballroom on Wednesday, Nov. 22, bringing fans of stoner-rock back for a shot of sweaty, boozy nostalgia.

Kyuss Lives! played a stellar set, rushing through their back catalogue like a meth addict searching for a lighter, the songs blending into one another with little or no separation.

The band packed a 16-song set into just over an hour — everything up-tempo, everything sonic. I’ve never seen so many

sweaty, boozy, wasted 30-somethings falling into shirtless, sweaty, boozy, wasted skinheads in all my life.

Hailing from Palm Desert California, Kyuss Lives!, who reunited without guitarist Joshe Homme (Queens of the Stone Age, Them Crooked Vultures, Eagles of Death Metal) — and respectfully changed their name in his absence — were also without prominent bassist Nick Oliveri (also of Queens of the Stone Age), who could be facing jail time in the near future for drug and firearm possession.

Perhaps the rest of the band just really, really, really missed the road.

And like a polar bear bulks up for a winter, they looked like they had been packing

on the winter weight for travel, with lead singer John Garcia resembling a fat Jim Morrison on stage — a Morrison trying his best to sing like Geddy Lee. The stage backdrop was a mural of a setting sun blistering out crows flying — circling — undoubtedly searching for decaying carrion drying from the hot desert sun.

I felt like I was being taken out into the dry night for peyote frenzy. A goddamned frenzy I would welcome with gusto, naturally.

The band opened with the psychedelic “Gardenia”, then moved quickly into “Hurricane”, “One Inch Man”, and “Thumb”.

From there the trip out sand-side moved ever faster into my personal favourites,

“Freedom Run” and “Asteroid” — feeling more spaced out than ever — or maybe that was just the fury of all the hash being passed around and the number of beers I had spilled on me. I don’t know.

The feedback was deadly; the guitars, heavy. And although Homme and Oliveri stayed home, Kyuss Lives! still felt like the fucking undead on stage, zombiefying our psyches with a blaze of testicle-fueled bravado and head-butt-to-the-nose rock and roll.

Visit runnermag.ca/2011/11/kyuss-lives-isstill-alive to view a full photo gallery of the Kyuss and The Sword show.

CULTURE

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page nineteen

REVIEW

Vinyl Dust-off: Soundgarden’s Live Before the Doors I

LLIAM EASTERBROOK SENIOR FEATURES WRITER

3.5/5 records In 1996, just before Seattle alt-rockers Soundgarden decided to call it quits after over ten years as a band, they were on top of the rock and roll world. Pearl Jam had intentionally stepped away from the limelight, Kurt Cobain was dead, and Alice in Chains was riddled with drug addiction and singer Layne Staley’s Heroin-induced reclusiveness. That’s not to say Soundgarden was the last band in line after the Grunge dust settled to carry on the Seattle scene, but they were, for all intensive purposes, the only band left still willing to take that torch.

Released this past Black Friday, Live Before the Doors features five songs from various soundchecks on the I-5 leg of their 1996 tour. (The live compilation Live on I-5 was released earlier this year). What we hear on Live Before the Doors is Sound-

garden preparing for a show. The band is tight and easy, just jamming, working out any kinks — albeit kinks that sound like splintering wood, grinding gears and machinegun fire. Singer Chris Cornell, a self-described alcoholic through the ‘90s (he’s gone on record stating he needed “a glass of vodka every morning just to get a dial tone”), seems to still be suffering from vocal damage he sustained in 1994. He’s often off key, seemingly unable to harness his unbelievable range. The morning vocal instabilities he seems to be experiencing don’t take away from the performances (he sounds cleaner and more controlled on Live on I-5). Even at soundcheck Cornell still sings better than most, and with more power than a sandblaster aimed headlong at the milky skin of an infant. Yeah, I just said that.

Not since Motorhead has a band blended punk and metal to such a unique and genre-bending degree. But Soundgarden go one step further, binding psychedelia, pop and garage rock to their punk-metal aesthetic. The highlight of the EP is the cover of “Waiting for the Sun,” the Doors’ broodingly psychedelic trip from Morri-

LLIAM EASTERBROOK/THE RUNNER

son Hotel. Soundgarden take an already eerily atmospheric song and make it heavy and thrashy while delicately main-

taining the ethereal mood of one of the Doors’ best songs.

Play it loud. Play it proud.

REVIEW

Ever After leaves a feeling of nevermore I

MIKE SHAMES SENIOR ENTERTAINMENT WRITER

2.5/5 records

EASTSCENE/FLICKR

Vancouver based Marianas Trench has been a well-known band that has achieved moderate success with its pop-punk sound. In the past, the songs have been quirky, original and fun, while still having a punky sound.

But things have changed.

Ever After is a disappointment. It’s still Marianas Trench, but this would count as their “selling out” album, as much as a poppunk band can sell out.

The punk flavour has been replaced

with a distinctive dance floor vibe. Not a totally bad thing, but there is one song that nearly destroys the album completely, “Toy Soldiers”.

Sampling from other artists seems to be a standard practice, but let’s call it what it really is: stealing, or ripping off. And Marianas Trench seems to be reaching for the bottom of the barrel straight away, “Toy Soldiers”opening sample is “Tik-Tok” by Ke$ha.

When I first heard it, I was expecting to hear that drunk buffoon slur her way onto the album.

All they did was change the key and maybe the tempo, but play them simultaneously, and you can definitely hear it.

The best thing I can say about this whole shift to a more club-based sound, which ev-

eryone and their dog is doing (featuring Lil Wayne or Pitbull, of course). At least they aren’t Hot Chelle Rae. By that I mean, they managed to stay appealing without being phoney, prepackaged, half-assed wannabes.

The best comparison is Good Charlotte’s 2007 album Good Morning Revival.

They are both albums where the bands actually tried, and tried something different than their past pop-but-still-punk sound.

Both are solid albums, I still enjoy Ever After and tap my foot to most of the songs, but the attempt has backfired, making the album forgettable and unimpressive.

Hope they will learn from this, and better luck on the next album.

page twenty | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

YOUR DAD

Stuff Your Dad Likes: Christmas classics Jacob Zinn can’t give you fatherly advice, but he can embarrass you in front of all your friends.

I

JACOB ZINN CONTRIBUTOR

It’s that time of year.

The time when pine trees are cut down by the dozen. The time when eggnog is spiked with rum.

The time when the same, old, boring holiday specials are the only thing on TV, other than that fireplace loop on Channel 4.

You might be content with watching A Charlie Brown Christmas for the 16th time, but your dad isn’t. He saw it when it first aired in 1965. He’s lost all pity for Charlie and his twiggy tree.

He isn’t into the ho ho ho, chubby Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman-type cartoon Christmas movies. He wants the greatest Christmas movie of all time: Die Hard.

(Spoiler alert! Stop reading now if you don’t know parts of the Die Hard series.)

Some are of the argument that Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, pointing out that it was a summer blockbuster and calling it an “action film.”

Those are accurate observations, but there’s something so heart-warming and seasonal in watching John McClane single-

handedly kill 13 terrorists and save 30 hostages from a party gone wrong on Christmas Eve. New York’s finest cop makes it to Los Angeles just in time to spend the holidays with his family. If that’s not Christmassy, I don’t know what is.

Even if your dad is a last-minute gifter who pounds on closed storefronts on Dec. 24, he deserves a good present under the tree.

If your dad already has the 1988 film, perhaps you could get him other John McClane merchandise. Or, if you want something more subtle, how about an argyle sweater? (Get it?)

Be sure to pump Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis” when your dad comes home from work. If he truly loves Die Hard, he will catch the reference.

And when you watch the movie this month and your aunt asks, “Don’t you have any Christmas movies?” say, “This is a Christmas movie!” (And throw in a “Yippee kai yay, motherf**ker!”)

Let your dad watch a yuletide film that doesn’t make him want to stab himself in the eyes with icicles. A Christmas movie with a vengeance.

RISTOK/FLICKR

DIY XMAS

Creative gift ideas on a student budget I

SANA SOHEL CONTRIBUTOR

With a crackling fireplace, hot chocolate and warm fuzzy pajamas, Christmas season is finally here.

Santa may be making his rounds Christmas Eve, but he sure won’t be adding any more dough into your stocking.

But fear not! You can laugh your way through the season of giving without your bank account feeling super light.

Here are three ways to give the most meaningful, most precious gift without feeling wiped out by the end of December.

1

Memory Jar: I made memory jars for my grandparents last year and surprisingly, they

loved them. Plus, they are super duper easy to do. All you need is a jar, some paint, some photographs and trinkets or bows, or any such accessory. Paint the jar, any way you want – hint: make it festive. Roll up some photographs, write or type out some of your most memorable times together and place them in the jar. I rolled mine into cylindrical shapes to make them look like candy canes.

You can add candy canes and chocolates and perhaps some Santa figurines. Tie it up with a bow and you’re all set.

2

Custom Cookbook: Not only is this gift amazingly easy, it is thoughtful and ideal. Get together all the its and bits of recipes your mum, grandma or any other recipient has scribbled, cut out, or saved, and type

them out. Gather pictures, and since it’s custom, add your personal touch to it: e.g. add pictures of them cooking, or of you cooking with them. Compile them in any way you want, bind it, and voila! You have it. If you don’t mind spending a few extra dollars, and you can, get the front cover in hard copy.

3

Video It: My neighbors did this last year as Christmas cards, and I loved the idea, so I’m going to share it with all of you this year. They enacted out their favorite Christmas Carol – Deck the Halls – and they edited it into a festive video and sent them out through email, mail (CDs) and all possible other ways. It was different, unique and perfectly Christmas-y!

Add in a few treats from your custom cookbook: it’s easy and thoughtful. SANA SOHEL/THE RUNNER

CULTURE

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page twenty one

MUSIC

Your alternative holiday mixtape I

BIANCA PENCZ CONTRIBUTOR

“Christmas at the Zoo” by The Flaming Lips

Holiday standards range from fun to irritating. You can only hear “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” on a loop for so long before wanting to roast Paul McCartney’s chestnuts on an open fire. Happily, there are alternatives…

Probably the weirdest yuletide track you’ll hear this winter, it’s less about Christmas and more about liberating animals.

“Christmas Time” by The Darkness

I can’t think of a better gift than hearing Billy Corgan sing lines like, “There’ll be toys for everyone.”

I’ve always said the seasonal soundtrack needs more double-tracked guitar solos and British falsetto.

“Christmastime” by the Smashing Pumpkins

“Father Christmas” by The Kinks

“Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” by The Decemberists

There really is no inappropriate format for anti-capitalist satire.

No one likes dealing with that relative who downs the eggnog before dinner’s even started. Before googling “how to murder discretely,” play this John Denver update.

“Don’t Shoot Me, Santa” by The Killers

“Christmas Bop” by T.Rex Marc Bolan’s ego was no secret, but “T.Rexmas”—really? Since he wrote the catchiest glam rock of all time, I guess he’s forgiven.

What I said about The Lips having the weirdest holiday song? I take it back after re-listening to this. “Oh Santa, I’ve been killing just for fun…” Amazing.

“I Wish It Was Christmas Today” by Julian Casablancas Good for 364 days of the year.

“Blue Christmas” by Bright Eyes Liable to turn your Seasonal Affective Disorder into full-blown depression, Conor Oberst’s warble makes this a heartbreaking Elvis cover.

GENERATION BASS/FLICKR

“A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)”

by Glasvegas Snow is the great secular joy of the festival season. We can’t agree on religion, but we can all agree snowflakes are pretty. For that, it deserves this ode, which is almost prettier.

BOOKS

Noteworthy new novels I

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

If there’s something the holidays are almost never about, it’s having time alone. Between family gatherings, staff parties and friend get-togethers while holiday shopping, you’ll hardly have a moment to sit down and enjoy lonesome silence.

In the off-chance that you do have a

spare hour or two, and you actually want to do some between-semester reading, check out the following new book releases.

Tip: they both pair nicely with a glass of winter wine or a holiday hot toddy.

1

Diana Gabaldon’s The Scottish Prisoner

I might have a personal tendency to read

like an old woman, and if you do too, then you’ve been devouring Gabaldon’s Outlander series books year after year. When these thick, historic time-travel romances come out (all nine of them), it’s like it’s your birthday. Now coming out with spin-off The Scottish Prisoner following Outlander’s dreamboat warrior, Jamie, this is sure to be another engaging read.

2

Chuck Palahniuk’s Damned

Thanks to his fame from Fight Club, Palahniuk is one of the most well-loved writers amongst well read youngsters –– which is why it’s fitting that his latest novella is narrated by an 11-year-old boy who regales the tale of a young girl who ends up in hell.

Literally.

page twenty two | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

WINE

A glass a day keeps colon cancer away The French Paradox observes that French people suffer less from coronary heart diseases, even in light of the fact that their diets consist of high amounts of saturated fats. Could it be the wine?

I

THEGIFT73/FLICKR

SARINE GULERIAN CONTRIBUTOR

We know about apples, but it may also be true for wine: A glass or two of wine a day, may in fact, keep the doctor away. Or at least for a while.

The French Paradox is a name for an observation, made by Dr. Serge Renaud, that French people suffer less from coronary heart diseases even though their diets consist of high amounts of saturated fats.

The reason for this may be the amount of wine that they consume in their everyday diets.

Almira Spiller, Events Coordinator at the Everything Wine store, located in South Surrey, insist that wine can be beneficial to your health. Benefits include preventing some heart diseasesa nd prostate cancer in men. It can lower your blood pressure, reduce diabetes, and help with clogged arteries in your heart and legs.

“Drinking wine after a heart attack can help keep your arteries clean,” she said.

Spiller suggests one to two glasses a day, but that number depends on your height and weight. She recommends that you

“check with your doctor, see what your body can handle. Don’t over-do it.” Your body will only benefit from wine if you drink it in moderation.

Unfortunately, for people who don’t drink alcohol, non-alcoholic wines don’t have the same benefits. “I think it’s the combination of alcohol and antioxidants and the polyphenols in the grapes that react together which causes the benefit,” said Spiller.

It’s also good to avoid wines that have added sugars because they have more calories and are unhealthier.

For those who experience allergic reactions when they drink wine, organic might be the answer.

“Everyone is allergic a little bit to alcohol,” said Spiller. If you switch to an organic wine, it usually lessens the side effects. “But it depends on how big the allergic reaction is in certain people.”

“The health benefits are the same in regular and organic wine but for some people, they might be able to drink the organic wine over the non-organic.”

Organic wines are easy to find. Spiller admits that several wines in her store are,

in fact, organic but are just not properly labeled. “They don’t advertise it because there is still a little bit of a stigma when it’s organic,” she said, referring to the belief that organic wine has inferior qualities, “but that’s not true.”

Spiller also recommends red wine over white. However Anahad O’Conner, in her article “Really? The Claim: Red Wine Is Better for You Than White” at The New York Times, seems skeptical of that statement.

She argues that it seems to be a tie between the two. “One study found that red drinkers had a significantly lower risk of colon cancer than white drinkers,” she writes, “but the researchers later explained that among other things, the white drinkers were also more likely to smoke, which could have made the difference.”

The colour you choose depends on your taste and preference. The amount you should drink depends on your height and weight. And the type of wine depends on your bodies reaction. Wine is good for the general public, but the specifics depend on the drinker.

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CULTURE

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

FASHION

vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page twenty three

FILMS

Winter wardrobe

Holiday movie preview

I CATHERINE CAMPBELL

I

Winter is upon us, there is no denying it.

With temperatures nearing zero degrees, many of us are looking for stylish ways to keep warm. Here are some tips and trends.

Scarves: not only do they keep your neck warm, they can also serve as a pop of colour or pattern to spice up any outfit. The possibilities are endless: faux-fur, knit, animal print, floral, the list goes on.

Check out Le Chateau for plain coloured scarves (they have every shade imaginable), or Aritzia for patterned scarves.

Also, check out YouTube for different tutorials displaying how to wear your scarf.

With finals coming up, a lot of us are into loungewear to keep cozy and comfortable while studying. Hit up the Kwantlen bookstore for sweatpants and hoodies, a must-have for any Kwantlen student.

There are tons of different jacket options this winter. Motorcycle jackets can give you an edgier look, while trench coats give a more classic look. Pea coats come in a variety of colours. They don’t come with hoods, so throw on a scarf or hat to keep warm. Visit Old Navy for jackets; they carry a variety of colours.

Boots, perfect for rain and snow.

They can be worn with just about any-

CATHERINE CAMPBELL/THE RUNNER

thing and not only are they stylish, they keep your feet warm and the rain and snow out. Boots with fake shearling are big right now and give you a hiker-chic look. Check out Spring for their version of the boot.

Plaid is always a good option for winter. It ranges in many colours and patterns. Pretty much anything can be found in plaid: dresses, tights, pants, scarves, jackets, skirts and shirts. You can either go all out or focus on one plaid piece.

When wearing plaid, try to keep your other pieces in the same hue. Almost every store has their own version of plaid but check out Vancouver’s own TNA. Happy shopping!

CATHERINE CAMPBELL/THE RUNNER

THORSTAN GURLACH THE LINK

BURNABY, B.C. (CUP) — With award season just around the corner, it’s time to preview some of December’s most anticipated films.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy — Dec. 9 Oscar may just be calling to Gary Oldman for his performance as George Smiley, a disgraced British spy who is hired in secret by his government which fears that the British Secret Intelligence Service has been compromised by a double agent working for the Soviets. The film is based on John Le Carre’s Cold War novel of the same name and like the book, expect a thrilling ride. See it.

New Year’s Eve — Dec. 9 New Year’s Eve in New York City can be quite exciting but don’t count on it in director Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve, a film that reunites Marshall and writer Katherine Fugate, who collaborated in last year’s Valentine’s Day. In this ensemble romantic-comedy of intertwining stories of love, heartbreak and second chances, expect the usual schmaltz and a bevy of A-listers. If Valentine’s Day was an indication of anything, it’s that a score of A-listers doesn’t make a movie good. Skip it.

The Sitter — Dec. 9 What happens when three horrible children are placed in the care of the world’s most irresponsible babysitter? Hilarity, of course! Jonah Hill stars as the titular sitter who, after a phone call from a hot and horny girl across town, takes the three children on a wild adventure across New York City. Expect a few shallow laughs but not a great movie. David Gordon Green directs. Skip it.

Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol — Dec.16 When the Impossible Missions Force is shut down after being implicated in bombing the Kremlin, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his new team of badasses go undercover to clear the organization’s name. Ghost Protocol is the fourth film in the Mission: Impossible series and it will be interesting to see how the makers of this film bring new life to the franchise. However, with J.J. Abrams writing and Brad Bird directing — and a solid cast to boot — Ghost Protocol sounds very promising.

See it.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows — Dec. 16 Robert Downey Jr. is back as Sher-

lock Holmes as he attempts to catch the nefarious criminal mastermind, Dr. Moriarty — a man who may just be Holmes’ toughest case yet. The toughest case for audiences, however, will be sitting through another confusing and hapless Guy Ritchie film.

Jude Law, Rachel McAdams and Noomi Rapace, who played Lisabeth Salander in the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, co-star. Skip it.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — Dec. 21 The first installment of Columbia Pictures’ movie adaptation of Steig Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy (the first book alone has sold 50 million copies worldwide) will be the biggest movie of the year. Directed

by David Fincher, the director responsible for last year’s masterful The Social Network, this American adaptation is sure to make everyone forget about the Swedish movies and propel Rooney Mara — who plays heroine Lisbeth Salander — to stardom.

Daniel Craig and Christopher Plummer star. See it.

The Adventures of Tintin — Dec. 21 Already a huge hit in Europe, where the film premiered in October, this is Steven Spielberg’s take on Herge’s beloved tale of a young intrepid reporter whose pursuit of a good story lands him on a wild adventure. Tintin is sure to be a huge hit across the pond as well. Jamie Bell stars as Tintin and Daniel Craig co-stars as the treacherous Red Rackham. See it.

We Bought a Zoo — Dec. 23 Matt Damon plays a father who moves his young family to the California countryside to renovate and re-open a struggling zoo. This marks Cameron Crowe’s first picture since 2005’s Elizabethtown and, like that film, expect much of the same disappointment.

Scarlett Johansson co-stars. Skip it Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close — Dec. 25 Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close tells the story of a young boy on an impossible journey. After his father (Tom Hanks) is killed in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, a 9-year-old boy searches the streets of New York for the lock that matches the mysterious key left by his father. Though the film sounds promising — a stellar cast with the excellent Stephen Daldry directing — the film will have to try hard in avoiding the clichés that usually bring down a movie which promises too much. See it, but don’t be surprised if the film does not deliver.

page twenty four | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07

PROCRASTINATION

STARS

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

RIP OFF KWANTLEN

TAURUS April 20 - May 20

SCORPIO Oct. 24 - Nov. 22 You smell something? I think it’s pepper. Spray.

You’re the host of that talk-show aren’t you?

I saw you host that General Meeting special episode.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23 - Dec. 21 The stars read the same, Nov. 30 or Dec. 5.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan. 20

GEMINI May 21 - June 20 Those Michael Kors heels must have been expensive, but you really should invest in some kinky boots.

CANCER June 21 - july 23

Now that Movember is over, be sure and get your mustache laser-removed.

Wanna start your own newspaper? How about naming it the Birdcage-Liner?

AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb 19 Ladies move, gentlemen move — somebody ring the alarm, a fire on a roof. Ring the alarm and I’m throwin’ elbows.

PISCES Feb. 20 - March 20 Aw fuck, I don’t know...

LEO July 24 - Aug. 23

I see a bridge in your future. A suspension bridge.

VIRGO Aug. 24 - Sept. 23 Defamation station, what’s your relation..? Shit.

ARIES March 21 - April 19 A bird in the hand is worth two conflicts of interest.

LIBRA Sept. 24 - Oct. 23

Take time to feed the birds, man.

Academic freedom on campus? Nope. Instead, your education is partially subsidized by the dirtiest, most polluting, unethical fossil fuel on the planet, straight outta the tar sands pit in northern Alberta. Thousands of birds have died in tailings ponds for your degree.

People living downstream the pit on the Athabasca River are getting cancer for your degree. What’s next Kwantlen, an Enbridge pipeline right through the courtyard between Surrey main and arbutus buildings? How about instead of the nursing program, you offer an adverse-health-effects-denial course? Or instead of the environmental protection technology program, you offer a climate-change-denial course?