Vol. 5 Issue 02 by The Runner

THE

VOL. 05 ISSUE 02 10.02.2012

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

WHY IT’S TIME TO END CRAM JAM Great event? event? or money down the drain drain?? FIND US ONLINE

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NEWS

page two | October 02, 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

KWANTLEN

The Runner Roundup A brief run around the latest news from Kwantlen and beyond.

Playland on the students’ dime: it’s a civil rights issue! On Saturday, Sept. 29, KSA staff, volunteers and elected officials took a trip to Vancouver’s Playland amusement park. According to Tony Chiao, KSA director of finance, the trip was meant as a thank-you to the KSA staff for all the hard work they put in over the first few weeks back to school. The KSA held a volunteer-only event in June, but this time decided to extend the invitation to paid staff members and elected officials. “This time around we were thinking, ‘maybe we should invite staff as well, since they’ve worked for the KSA so hard, we should give them an equal opportu-

nity to just like relax and enjoy,’” Chiao said. According to Chiao, the outing included 4-5 staff, 4-5 volunteers and 8-9 elected officials. Tickets cost $22.75 each and each person was allotted a $17.50 food allowance. “A meal at McDonalds will be around six to nine [dollars] depending on what kind you choose. If you just wanted fries it will be cheaper, if you just want a burger, it will be cheaper. “There’s different combinations.” (Chiao was interviewed Friday, before the event took place.)

BEANA_CHEESE/FLICKR

New B.C. advanced education minister to focus on trades, not tuition John Yap, who is also the minister for multiculturalism, took over the advanced education portfolio in early September as part of a major cabinet shuffle by Premier Christy Clark. He replaced Naomi Yamamoto, who had held the position since March 2011. In an interview with the Canadian University Press, Yap made it clear that he is intent on ensuring more trades training is available at post-secondary institutions. “If I were to sum up the focus in the short-term, it is to ensure we have the facilities and programs to do trades training.” This aligns with the Liberal government’s promise to prioritize job creation. Yap said there should be about a million job openings in B.C. in the next ten years, with 43 per cent of these requiring some trades training. Beefing up trades training programs and fa-

cilities now will help to train the workforce for those job openings. When asked about the province’s increasing dependency on tuition to fund post-secondary institutions, he said now is not the time to reduce dependency considering the economy. B.C. is the province increasing its dependency on tuition at the fastest rate in Canada. And as for other tenants of affordability — in trades or otherwise — Yap thinks the current system is affordable enough, so long as the tuition cap of 2 per cent remains in place. “We’re confident that with the caps on tuition fee increases and the supports that are provided by student aid programs, whether it’s bursaries or grants or student loans or scholarships — we’re making our system of colleges and universities accessible for British Columbians.” — MICKI COWAN — CUP B.C. BUREAU CHIEF

NEWS

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 5 issue 02 | October 02 2012 | page three

BOMB

Kwantlen evacuated after bomb scare RCMP says suspicious object was only a pipe.

SARAH SCHUCHARD ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

Hundreds of Surrey Kwantlenstudents were evacuated from classes Monday, Sept. 17, after a suspicious object was discovered on campus by a Kwantlen staff person. Kwantlen’s security ordered the evacuation of part of Surrey’s campus around 8:20 a.m. on Sept. 17. The object turned out to be not an explosive, according to Surrey RCMP media representative Sgt. Drew Grainger. “It was not a pipe bomb. It was a piece of pipe; no bomb,” he said. “We’re trying to determine if possible how it got to where it was and if there’s any threats associated with it, which we have not determined yet.” “There were no threats,” said Joanne Saunders, Kwantlen’s director of marketing and communications, in a telephone interview with The Runner. “It was not like someone had called in and said it was a bomb. It was just a suspicious piece that was found.” Surrey RCMP treated the unidentified

object as a potential pipe bomb, when responding to the incident, according to Saunders. As students were being evacuated out of the two buildings the surrounding buildings at Surrey campus were unaware of the potential threat. Ben Redhead, a faculty of arts administrative assistant who works out of Cedar building, recalled there being no urgency to the event as he returned to his office and found out about the potential bomb. “As I came back... a woman who I had never seen before, I assume she was staff, told me I couldn’t access the hallway,” said Redhead. “That’s how I found out I couldn’t come back to my office. I went to the dean’s office and I had been working out of there and then somebody [had mentioned] it was a bomb. It was just kind of word of mouth.” When questioned by The Runner as to why students were not advised to avoid campus, Saunders explained: “It wasn’t affecting the whole campus and we only had a portion of campus closed off, so there

[were] many, many students still attending class that morning.” The mysterious object was found in the parking lot behind Kwantlen’s receiving dock just west of Birch building. Both Birch and the southern part of Cedar building were evacuated and taped off. As a safety precaution, police deployed their explosives disposal unit to Kwantlen. “[They] brought out their robot, which has the capability and technology to assess and also remotely detonate anything that is suspicious,” said Grainger. Three explosions were heard on campus, as the RCMP made sure the fragments of the object weren’t dangerous. By 2 p.m., police had left the scene and Kwantlen students were let back into campus. According to RCMP official Grainger, police officials taped off part of the school at 8:20 a.m., while Kwantlen informed students via Twitter at 8:51a.m. Messages updating students of events were displayed on Kwantlen’s emergency warning video screens at around 10 a.m.

RCMP Explosive Disposal Unit workers used an automated robot with controlled explosives to destroy the suspicious item. JEFF GROAT/THE RUNNER

page four | October 02 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

NEWS

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

KSA

Cram Jam spending (and attendance) down

2012 costs = $26,000 (est.) attendance 100-350 (est.)

NEWS

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

vol. 5 issue 02 | October 02 2012 | page ﬁve

KSA

KSA executive suggests the event may need to be re-imagined in future years. Spending for the Kwantlen Student Association’s (KSA) annual back-to-school Cram Jam concert was way down this year. Costs plummeted by nearly 80 per cent from last year’s net of $127,982 to an estimated $26,000 in 2012. The KSA was unable to provide a final tally before The Runner’s deadline. The concert took place at the Surrey campus on Thursday, Sept. 13, with events starting at 3:30 p.m and running until 11 p.m. Unlike last year, there was no headlining performance. “This year, instead of having an international artist, we have local bands. We’re trying to promote local artists and different kinds of performances to satisfy different students’ needs,” said Tony Chiao, director of finance for the KSA. Several cultural presentations by aboriginal and South Asian performers were followed by Vancouver-based rock bands Pedwell, Within Rust, Atom Atom, Grizzly Bones, and Cruel Young Heart. The KSA saved a substantial amount of money using local artists, but the lack of both advertising and a big-name headline did little to draw out the student population. While costs were down, so was the at-

tendance. According to Amrit Mahil, the KSA’s Surrey campus representative and director of student life, at certain peaks there were 200 students in the audience and another 150 in the beer garden. Arzo Ansary, director of external affairs placed the peak number at 95. Runner reporters who attended various parts of the concert, counted far fewer attendees, estimating the total to be around 100. “People were not there the whole time, but they were there a bit and they left,” said Mahil. He argued that the event was a good use of student’s money. “If you consider the population of Kwantlen, we hardly spent $1 per student,” he explained. “So we tried to come up with something new for the students and I hope they enjoyed it.” Chiao attributed the lacklustre attendance to a lack of promotion and suggested that a Thursday concert would have been problematic for students with Friday classes. “We tried our best. We had volunteers going to all of the campuses and distributing [leaflets] and we had the posters up as soon as possible,” explained Mahil. “That was the first time we had the rock bands [and] it didn’t work that well.”

All four members of the KSA executive committee agree that this year’s event was a qualified success. “Well first of all we didn’t get revoked by the university which is a good thing and the city of Surrey allowed us to hold it, so overall I would say that’s a success,” said Chiao. In 2011, mainstream artist Jay Sean performed off campus at the Royal King Palace banquet hall in Surrey, playing a show that ended up costing Kwantlen students 150 per cent more than the original $50,000 budget. The 2011 concert was unexpectedly moved off campus, after city officials revoked the necessary permits and the university sent out a mass e-mail declaring Cram Jam to not be a university sanctioned event. According to Mahil the KSA worked more closely with the university in the planning stages, holding occasional meetings for progress updates and providing a sponsored shuttle that brought students from other campuses to the Surrey campus. As for Cram Jam in the future, Mahil notes that since this one was not as successful as hoped “[The KSA] will come up with another idea next year. We will try to engage as many students as we can and [learn from this year].”

“It was a mutual effort from the KSA and [the] university,” says Mahil. Christopher Girodat, the KSA’s director of student services, said this year’s organizers faced new challenges. “I know that the brand of Cram Jam needed to recover from some events from last year,” he said. “I think that put some obstacles in our way in terms of seeking sponsorship and in terms of making people believe the event would be something they would want to be at.” When asked if he thought the event was a success, Girodat answered that “it depends on what you mean by a success.” He explained that logistically, things went well, but “in terms of marketing and attendance, I think that’s where the event fell short.” Girodat said the actual attendance numbers didn’t meet the KSA’s earlier estimated projections of 1000 students. He suggested that the event “may need to be reimagined” in the future. Ansary said the KSA learned a lot of lessons from this year’s event. “How do you plan something this big while not having the experience in planning something this big?” she asked.

2011

2010

2009

2008

SAMANTHA LEGO MATT DIMERA

Sloan

Pretty Boy, Carol Cox

Jay Sean

Karl Wolf Lamar Ashe, Heatwave

Danny Fernandes Destineak

Daniel Wesley, Ten Second Epic

+$135,336 expenses

+$40,024 expenses

+$44,828 expenses

+$91,050 expenses

-$7,354 revenue =

-$9,433 revenue =

-$5,135 revenue =

-$14,195 revenue =

$127,982

$30,591

$39,693

$76,855

page six | October 02, 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

EDITORIAL

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

EDITORIAL

Why it’s time to end Cram Jam Big budgets and embarrassing attendance don’t mix — Cram Jam doesn’t need to be “reimagined.”

THE RUNNER EDITORIAL

The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 72 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 2M8 www.runnermag.ca 778-565-3801

Vol. 5, Issue no. 02 October 2, 2012 ISSN# 1916-8241

EDITORIAL DIVISION:

Another semester is well under way, another class of students has settled in to the Kwantlen community, and another dismal failure for the KSA’s Cram Jam event has come and gone. Say goodbye to tens of thousands of students’ dollars vainly spent on an inflated concert that no one ever attends – or worse, knows even takes place – every year. This year, a selection of indie artists hit the stage and wowed the 30 people who were in attendance. We thank the artists for coming out to play for us, we really do. And we thank the KSA for trying so damn hard to create a place for Kwantlen bonding. Our school is notorious, even among current students, for its horrendous student apathy problem, and it’s commendable that someone cares enough to try and fight the monster. But the fact is, Kwantlen students don’t give a shit about anything, especially if you put it on a poster and hang it on the sanctioned postering spaces. No one sees it and no one cares to. It’s just another thing to avoid on the way to the parking lot. Even though students deserve to have free events in the interests of creating community, it costs a lot of student money to hold Cram-Jam-size events. Every year, a fresh-faced group of elected

Co-ordinating Editor / Jeff Groat editor@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3803 Culture Editor / Max Hirtz culture@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3804 News Editor / Matt DiMera news@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3805 Production Editor / Antonio Su production@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3806 Media Editor / Kimiya Shokoohi media@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3806 Associate News Editors / Sarah Schuchard / Vacant / Vacant Very few people actually came to this year’s Cram Jam event. MAX HIRTZ/THE RUNNER

KSA officials tries their hand at holding this complex event and every year it’s the same. The Cram Jam name has a long history with scandal, whether it’s over-spending, dismal turnout, or a logjam of scheduling and planning issues that never get resolved in time. Stop it. The KSA ought to focus on holding smaller events that narrower niches of the Kwantlen community might be interested

in attending. How can we as students be expected to take part in events as big as Cram Jam when we barely even know the other students in our department? We need to hold small events successfully before we can even dream of pulling off Cram Jam. Baby steps. A vibrant Kwantlen community is not something to be attained simply by throwing money at it.

Associate Culture Editors / Tabitha Swanson / Vacant / Vacant Associate Features Editor / Vacant Associate Opinions Editor / Vacant Associate Photo Editor / Vacant Associate Sports Editor / Vacant Associate Art Director / Vacant Associate Copy Editor / Elizabeth Hann

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

>>>>

CONTRIBUTORS: Samantha Lego, Chris Harcus, Hannah Ackeral Cover Photo: Max Hirtz BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager / Vacant ops@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3801 (seriously though, please write us a letter. We’ll publish it. We promise.)

LETTERS@RUNNERMAG.CA

Ofﬁce Co-ordinator / Victoria Almond ofﬁce@runnermag.ca / 778-565-3801

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

CULTURE

page seven | October 02 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

FILM FESTIVAL

There’s something for everyone at this year’s VIFF I

TABITHA SWANSON ASSOCIATE CULTURE EDITOR

Looking for some great new films to titillate your senses and stir your emotions? Well look no further. From Sept. 27 until Oct. 12, the Vancouver International Film Festival, or VIFF, will be celebrating its 30th year. Created in 1982, VIFF is a yearly non-profit cultural extravaganza that shows top films from around the world. According to their website, VIFF is among the five largest film festivals in North America. With films from over 80 countries, there is something for everyone and anyone to enjoy. Alan Franey, the director of VIFF since 1988, shared his insight on how the films differ this year compared to last in an interview with The Runner. According to Franey, “The films are radically different. The thing for us is every year has a completely different flavor because of what’s happening in the world, what’s on filmmakers’ minds, the styles that people are using, and of course, there has been a lot of transformation in cinema because of digital technology. It’s exciting times we live in.” With the increasing pace of digital technology, one might think it would be hard for festivals like VIFF to keep the same popularity and attendance rate as they have in the past. Ellie O’Day, the director of media for VIFF disagrees: “People who are serious about film... will definitely want to see it on a big screen. So, I think that is the one element. The second element is… a lot of people just like to have their hands on stuff, and in the case of a film, its like sitting in a room full of people watching the same thing and sensing other people’s reactions. There is still a social aspect to watching film

The Monkey King -- Uproar in Heaven 3D is one of several animated ﬁlms playing at this year’s International Film Festival.

that a lot of people really appreciate. And you might think that’s a generational difference, but it’s really not. I’m really surprised how many younger people still feel the same way, that there is really a difference to watching a performance on your computer and watching it in a room full of people, whether it’s a live performance, standup comedy, a concert, or whether it’s a film. There is still that social element of taking part in it with other people. And no matter how the technology changes, I still think that there is a very strong element to that.”

The festival has an average audience of about 1,200 people every year and hopes to expose more people to the joys of film in the coming years. There are many film festivals around North America and Canada, though they do differ in some aspects. According to O’Day, TIFF in Toronto is of similar size, but the glitz and glam is on a whole other level. In Toronto, they focus more on the actors, and in Vancouver, they want to focus on the actual making of the movie, so they showcase the directors. After most shows, they have a Q&A period where the majority of

the audience stays to hear what the directors have to say. Both Franey and O’Day agree that festivals like VIFF encourage people to try things they might not have tried had they come across it on their own. “All cultures have cinema. It’s not like the opera, or some other specialized music festivals; it really includes so many different kinds of people: young, old, English speakers and non-English speakers. It’s a great way to get to know your city, and I hope that continues in the future,” Franey said.

LOCAL MUSIC

Local bands to be featured on 7” singles I HANNAH ACKERAL A prominent member of the Vancouver music scene, Tim the Mute, is gaining notoriety for his soon-to-be-released Single-Sided Singles Club. The singles will be released monthly over the course of the year, making a grand total of twelve albums for subscribers. The series, released on Tim’s DIY label Kingfisher Bluez, pays homage to the some-

times underappreciated Vancouver music scene. “Whether or not they break up next year or they go on to be famous,” Tim explained, “it’ll be a good representation of bands in Vancouver right now.” Instead of creating a compilation album, which would given listeners all the songs at once, the Singles Club gives each song and artist its own spotlight. Not only do the artists get to have their own individual

records released, but the audience is presented with a new track monthly to devote their attention to. There is also something more appealing about a 7” -- the audience knows they aren’t getting any filler, just the concentrated efforts of the artist. Despite the focus on Vancouver bands and handy perks like free pick up from Dandelion Emporium for locals, the interest in the series expands beyond the West Coast. There have been international sub-

scribers, and the first single -- Dirty Beaches’ “Elizabeth’s Theme” -- has already been premiered on Pitchfork. “People seem to really care about the Vancouver scene right now,” said Tim, adding that he felt the series was a point of pride for the musicians involved. With only 250 subscriptions available of the handnumbered records, this series also appeals to serious vinyl collectors, who are a growing music industry force.

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CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

LOCAL MUSIC

Thee Ahs: An Ahverview The future of Vancouver pop – it may be cute, but it isn’t harmless.

PHOTO COURTESY KATE ROBIN

ELIZABETH HANN ASSOCIATE COPY EDITOR

Cute is a double-edged word. Isn’t it? Originally derived from the word acute, meaning among other things “sharp or penetrating in intellect, insight or perception,” cute has come to mean merely something like “appealing and delightful.” And that’s at the best of times – at worst, cute means something like “mincingly pretty or clever, precious or affected.” As one can imagine, it can be a mixed blessing for something to be called cute – especially when that something is a rock band. After all, isn’t rock ‘n’ roll supposed to be an outlet for everything that isn’t appealing and delightful and pretty and precious and affected? Well, the answer to that is – it depends on who you ask. Thee Ahs, an up-and-coming Vancouver band, have managed to combine garagerock toughness with a rare quality – a cuteness that is truly unaffected. The results are something that demands a second look, and

a closer listen. Let us discuss the cuteness first. Thee Ahs – guitarist Sarah Lowenbot, lead vocalist Davina Shell, drummer Marissa Holmes, and bass player Ridley Bishop – are all well under the age of twenty-five, and they sound like it. They perform wearing heartshaped sunglasses. Thee Ahs’ latest EP, Thee Ahs Ahtack!, was recorded on hot-pink vinyl. It featured a hand-designed sleeve (by Sarah Lowenbot, who’s the group’s art designer as well as their guitarist) with a picture of a cute little girl on it, a girl who looks like someone you’d doodle in the margins of your high-school English notebook during a dull class. Davina Shell, the group’s chief songwriter, writes songs with titles like “Onion in My Pocket”, and “Strange Little Scene” – songs that, in their fragile lyricism have been compared to the songs of noted cutemeister Jonathan Richman – and the group’s most effective work to date is a speeded-up cover of a girl-group ditty from 1963. The members of Thee Ahs have

even admitted a fondness for that stickysweet bubblegum queen Britney Spears – an unironic fondness. At this point, admirers of serious music – and fans of good red-blooded rock – may be gearing up to dismiss Thee Ahs as a pack of piffle-purveyors. But if they did dismiss them, they’d lose a good thing: Thee Ahs are a whole lot tougher, and smarter and certainly stranger, than their cute and cuddly image would suggest. So, some strange little facts about Thee Ahs. One, they released their EP, Thee Ahs Ahtack, on a Spanish record label, 7 Ietepulgadas Records, and the EP comes with Spanish-language-only liner notes. And the cartoony record sleeve for that EP, the blonde, bouffanted little girl is sticking her tongue down the throat of a much older man. Nymphet imagery is surprisingly common in Thee Ahs’ work. One of their songs is called “Too Young for You”, and the cute heart-shaped glasses they wear on stage serve as an homage to the ones Sue

Lyon wore in the 1962 film Lolita. Thee Ahs’ lyrics may seem sweet at first blush, but you just have to scratch the surface to uncover their secret strangeness and melancholy. The hook to the twee-titled “Onion in My Pocket” is the repeated phrase “When I start to cry/Nobody asks me why...” One of the new songs on Thee Ahs Ahtack! carries the weirdly suggestive title, “Ooh They’re Inside Me.” And of all the creamy, sugary girl-group songs from 1963 that Thee Ahs could have covered – “I Will Follow Him,” “Be My Baby”, “Our Day Will Come”, etc. – the ditty they actually chose to cover was the deeply obscure, startlingly catty and honest “Sour Grapes”, by (but of course!) Australian performer Patsy Ann Noble. Thee Ahs’ other musical influences are equally strange, and much tougher; they admit to being inspired by The Pastels, Teenage Fanclub, The Pixies, and The Smiths. Thee Ahs’ sound is something much more than cute. On songs like “Onion In My Pocket” and the aforementioned “Sour Grapes”, the guitar chords race forward like wild horses, with Sarah Lowenbot and Davina Shell’s thin, tough voices and Marissa Holmes’s shambolic drums racing after them. Bassist Ridley Bishop defends Thee Ahs’ shambolic wildness as intentional, worthy and necessary. “We hate slick sounds,” he has remarked in conversation, “We want to sound like we’re torn up by the roots.” When asked how he would define Thee Ahs, Bishop explained, “We generally think of ourselves as black bubblegum pop.” This last phrase marks Thee Ahs as part of a noble tradition indeed – according to rock ‘n’ roll Apocrypha, The Sex Pistols’ infamous Svengali-manager Malcolm McLaren defined punk rock as “dirty bubblegum.” So what’s next for these double-edged cuties and black bubblegummers? At the moment, Thee Ahs are planning to release their second full-length album, which they recorded in February. They undertook their first cross-country tour in July, and are still channeling the inspiration from it into new material, perhaps for their third album. In the meantime, you can buy their E.P Thee Ahs Ahtack! at http:// www.7ietepulgadasrecords.com/.

CULTURE

www.runnermag.ca | The Runner

page nine | October 02 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

FUN STUDYING

Brain candy: The right types of tunes to study to I

MIA STEINBERG THE MARTLET (UVIC)

VICTORIA (CUP) — In the spirit of a new school year, here are the best types of studying music for your first assignment of the year. While other lists may group items by era or subjective quality, this is helpfully organized in order of your study status: from determined and alert to panicked and caffeinated.

The Baroque-n Record

The Film Score

The Ambient Post-Rock Intelli-Rave

The Forbidden Fruit

Study Status: Fresh and eager. This year will be different; readings done on time, no last-minute cramming, and all A’s, baby.

Study Status: Needing a little motivation, but still on schedule.

Study Status: Your blood is now 52 per cent coffee, and your economics textbook needs some existential whimsy.

Study Status: Well, that five-minute break lasted nearly an hour, and there’s no way you can do the entire assignment tonight, but you can finish most of it. Probably.

Details: Classical music is fantastic for studying; no lyrics, interesting compositions and not too distracting. Plus, it’s easy to find online — Musopen.org has hundreds of recordings from different composers available to stream and download. Recommended Tunes: Bach’s Goldberg Variations are lengthy and unobtrusive, providing hours of lightly interesting background noise. Any and all Romantic-era piano pieces work, too; after that, there’s always Mozart. Possible Side Effects: Remember those horrendous piano lessons as a child? Spine straight, chin up, hands lightly floating above the keyboard? Well, you do now.

Details: A film’s soundtrack is explicitly tied to the events onscreen and plays a large part in connecting you to the story. The score alone can transport you back into a specific headspace, and you can begin to feel like the star of your own action movie. Suddenly, finishing that biology assignment is a matter of life and death; without it, the Avengers can’t win against the Cylons and Darth Vader will crush the rebellion. They’re counting on you. You can do this. Yes, Tony Stark wants a fist bump — wait, no, you’re still in the library. Turn that imaginary highfive into a muscle stretch. Recommended Tunes: The How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack is brilliantly energizing; for a real fist-pumper, grab the score to the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. Possible Side Effects: Having flashbacks to the films you love leads to YouTube clips of your favourite scenes, followed by, “I’ll just watch the first 20 minutes,” followed by, “Does the library have popcorn? Because this trilogy needs popcorn.”

Details: This post-rock subgenre takes its cues from progressive, ambient, minimalist and experimental musicians. With few lyrics and a lot of slow build, postrock can put you in a relaxed-yet-focused state of mind. Recommended Tunes: The Campfire Headphase by Boards of Canada is exquisite electronica that pulls double duty as study aid and obscure music snob fodder. The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place by Explosions in the Sky is fantastic as well. Possible Side Effects: Prolonged exposure can cause depersonalization, staring contests with the nearest wall and long, strange trips through Wikipedia articles. If you find yourself contemplating the black dwarf fate of the Sun, abort mission. Harsh that mellow. Do not walk towards the light.

Details: It’s a fact: as soon as you need to focus on schoolwork, you’ll discover a new TV show, musician or other fun distraction. All you want to do is immerse yourself in this new love, but you can’t — you have midterms to study for. So your new obsession sits just out of reach, positively dripping with all the fun you’re not having right now. And it knows you’ll give in; it’s a simple matter of time. Recommended Tunes: Open your music player. Which album or artist do you automatically select, devoid of conscious thought? That’s the one. Possible Side Effects: Complete denial. You can still work while listening to this album. For sure. Except for this one part, because it’s amazing. And the next two tracks really deserve your full attention. After that, back to the books — you promise. You can stop any time you want to.

page ten | October 02 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca

POP CULTURE

Culture Roundup Your monthly review of pop culture – from the amusing to the irreverent.

Son of anarchy murders landlord

Yes, this is Dog’s new show

Fans of A&E’s Dog The Bounty Hunter who were disappointed by the sudden cancellation of the show will be glad to know that Dog will soon be back on TV with his new show simply titled

Dog. The show will follow Duane “Dog” Chapman and his wife as they travel across America providing guidance to up-and-coming bounty hunters.

LMFAO splits in half

Sons of Anarchy actor Johnny Lewis has recently died in a bizarre murder-suicide incident. The actor allegedly beat his 81-year-old landlord to death before murdering and dismem-

bering the landlord’s cat. When two men tried to investigate the landlord’s screaming, Lewis attacked them with a plank of wood, climbed onto the roof of the house, and allegedly fell on

to the pavement below to his death. Police have speculated the actor was on PCP or methamphetamines at the time.

Electro-hip-hop duo LMFAO has recently announced that the group is going on hiatus in order to pursue separate solo careers. When giving reasons for the

hiatus, LMFAO explained that after six years of making music together, the duo wants to take a break in order to “free up our minds.”

PROCRASTINATION

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vol. 5 issue 2 | October 2 2012 | page eleven

STARS

LIBRA Sept. 24 - Oct. 23

g n i l l o p f o e c i t o n

ARIES March 21 - April 19

It’s your month, Libra. Make it special. Buy an extra carrot the next time you go to Safeway. Build yourself a snowmobile and drive it into a baby lamb.

Call your parents. They’ve been worried about you. They’ve been worried about a lot of things. Like head lice, for instance.

SCORPIO Oct. 24 - Nov. 22 Go home, Scorpio. You’re drunk. Don’t say that. You don’t mean that. Please stop saying that. Lightning! Rainbow Skittles! Smurftastic!

TAURUS April 20 - May 20 It looks similar, but it’s not. It’s completely different. Keep this wisdom in mind next time you’re feeling blue. The Hulk doesn’t care. He just doesn’t.

A KS

N O I T C E L E Y B

Cast your vote on

october 23 – 25, 2012 Each voter must show a valid Student ID to receive a ballot

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23 - Dec. 21

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

By-Election Polling

Tuesday, October 23, 2012, 10 AM – 6 PM The moon and stars are on your side this month, Mr./Mrs. Sagittarius. Keep up the good work, and you’ll do well. Or you’ll fall into a well.

The hawk that has no feathers cannot sing its song until the full moon rises over the beaten farm pig. Seriously!!!!!

Surrey – Surrey Main Atrium Richmond – Richmond Rotunda Langley – West Building Library Hall

Wednesday, October 24, 2012, 10 AM – 6 PM CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan. 20 You know what almost rhymes with Capricorn? Candy Corn! Halloween is coming. Stay safe...

CANCER June 21 - July 23 Pay attention to Siri this month. She misses you. She misses the way you used to whisper into her ear. She misses that thing you used to do in the mornings where you’d... well, nevermind.

Surrey – Surrey Main Atrium Richmond – Richmond Rotunda Langley – West Building Library Hall

Wednesday, October 24, 2012, 10 AM – 4 PM Cloverdale – Main Atrium (by the KSA office / across from the cafeteria)

Thursday, October 25, 2012, 10 AM – 4 PM AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Cloverdale – Main Atrium (by the KSA office / across from the cafeteria)

LEO July 24 - Aug. 23

Are you still reading these horoscopes? Good. Goooooooood. Nothing else to say about that.

Oh boy, are you in trouble. You are in so much trouble. Kidding! I can’t think of anything else to say. You’re in trouble. I wasn’t kidding.

Ballot Counting

Thursday, October 25, 2012, beginning at 6 PM Surrey – Cedar 1140

For the full notice of polling for the KSA by-election, visit

PISCES Feb. 20 - March 20 There are two ﬁshies in the image above. There are three different sizes of Red Bull. Two plus three is nine. Nine minus sixteen is eight. Ring any bells?

VIRGO Aug. 24 - Sept. 23 VIIIIIIRRRGOOOOOOO!!! VIIIRRRGOOOOOOO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VIRGOOOOOO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

VIRRRVIRGG-

www.kusa.ca /elections Chief Returning Officer | Corey Van’t Haaff Kwantlen Student Association | Cell: 778.388.0141 | Email: kwantlencro@gmail.com

page twelve | October 2 2012 | vol. 5 issue 02

The Runner | www.runnermag.ca