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VOL. 05 ISSUE 05 11.20.2012
News and Culture for the students of Kwantlen Polytechnic University
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Roundup
page two | November 20 2012 | vol. 5 issue 05
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
The Runner Roundup A brief run around the latest news from Kwantlen and beyond.
Kwantlen President takes to Twitter This is The Runner’s favourite tweet from President Davis so far:
President Alan Davis last week announced the creation of his own Twitter account in order to stay connected to Kwantlen students. Davis said he hopes Twitter will serve as a “town hall” where students may easily reach out to him as Kwantlen’s new president. “Given that we are spread out by campus and timetables, I hope Twitter can help us stay connected and enable you to engage with me on important issues facing KPU,” he wrote in an email to Kwantlen students. So far, Davis has mixed in some personal thoughts and jokes into his Kwantlen messages, meaning Kwantlen students will be entertained as well as informed.
Quality of life Canada on the decline according to study NORTH VANCOUVER (CUP) — Despite Canada’s relatively graceful recovery from the worldwide economic meltdown of 2008, the quality of life Canadians experience is on the decline. According to the Canadian Index of Wellbeing (CIW), a study conducted in conjunction with the University of Waterloo, Canadians’ quality of life plummeted by 24 per cent between 2008 and 2010. Based on CIW findings, the culprit is an excessive focus on the economy and issues related to it. “In a society that is preoccupied with the economy and working hard, among the first casualties are those things that ironically matter to us the most,” said Bryan Smale, director of the CIW. “We forget to protect time for family and friends, and to enjoy those pursuits that bring meaning to our lives. “We want to bring some balance to the conversation by reminding people that a good life includes those things that too many people regard as being less important than work and making money.” The correlation between wellbeing and economics has been demonstrated by earlier CIW studies. From 1994 to 2008, Canadian wellbeing — as measured by the CIW — rose by 7.5 per cent. In the aftermath of the economic crisis, and Canada’s subsequent recovery, that number dropped by 5.7 per cent in just a two-year period. Connor Thorpe — Capilano Courier (Capilano University)
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news
postsecondary
Presidents at six B.C universities ask for millions from province I
Laura Rodgers The Ubyssey (UBC)
The current B.C. Liberal minister of adVANCOUVER (CUP) — In a bid to influence party platforms for the upcoming vanced education, John Yap, said there isn’t provincial election, B.C.’s six largest enough money available to give the univerresearch universities have drawn up sity presidents what they’re asking for. “All of a proposal asking for millions of new these recommendations have merit, but first, provincial dollars and outlining where we need to balance the budget,” said Yap. “Taxpayers already put $5 million every they’d spend them. The Research Universities’ Council of single day into readying people for future B.C. is asking for $130 million over four careers. We need to promote trades and years to create more spaces for students, technical opportunities, and make sure we $51 million each year for new grants and have the right mix and quality of programs.” Under the current B.C. Liberal budget scholarships and “a commitment to stable funding” for industry-ready research. The plan, funding for post-secondary education council is made up of presidents from UBC, will undergo a one per cent cut next year Simon Fraser University, the University of and another 1.5 per cent cut the year after. The NDP hasn’t released its full elecNorthern B.C., Thompson Rivers Univertion platform yet, but according to deputy sity and Royal Roads University. “It’s aimed at our political leaders … It’s education critic Gwen O’Mahony, the party meant for our MLAs, both in government plans to give $100 million — nearly three and across the floor,” said George Iwama, times the amount proposed by the universities’ council — to a needs-based student president of UNBC. “Yes, there is an election coming up, and grant program. Kyle Warwick, vice-president extereveryone’s getting their stories and prinal of the Alma Maorities together, and we ter Society (AMS) at want to make sure that B.C. Liberal minister of UBC, said that he was they got a summary of advanced education, John pleased with the prowhat we think.” The document cites a Yap, said there isn’t enough posal from the university presidents. projection showing that money available to give the “We think there’s there could be 32,000 a lot of great things. unfilled jobs in B.C. that university presidents what The emphasis on … require applicants with they’re asking for. student financial aid is post-secondary educareally exciting.” tion by 2020. This inWarwick said he thought parts of the formation is used to argue that B.C. needs 11,000 new spaces for students within the document would appeal to the current B.C. Liberal government, while other parts were next four years. The document also calls for $36 million more in line with early information about in non-repayable needs-based grants for the NDP platform. “So I think it’s a very undergrads, a type of student aid that politically astute document that’s going to hasn’t existed since 2005, when the B.C. have a fair degree of traction from both major parties,” he said. Liberals cut a previous program. However, Katie Mariocchi, chairperson The document doesn’t give a number for how much research funding the presidents of the Canadian Federation of Students B.C. want, but it mentions the almost $1 billion in branch, doesn’t think the university presiprovincial money awarded to match federal dents’ proposal goes far enough. “There’s some attempts to address the research grants to universities since 1998. “Today, we go, cap in hand, in a case-by issue of accessiblity and student debt,” said case manner, and the [provincial] government Mariocchi. “But the leader of the opposition considers our [research funding] requests,” is proposing a grants program that’s three said Iwama. “The commitment … should be times that much ... It’s modest in terms of really addressing the problem.” on an ongoing and sustained basis.”
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page three
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page four | November 20 2012 | vol. 5 issue 05
news
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cell phones
Investigation finds Fido agents knowingly signed underage students to cellphone contracts I
Arno Rosenfeld The Ubyssey (UBC)
VANCOUVER (CUP) — A Ubyssey investigation has discovered evidence of salespeople from Fido Mobile compelling underage students to sign cell phone contracts using false ages. Through interviewing students who signed up for Fido cellphones at two oncampus events and at an off-campus Fido
store frequented by students, as well as reporting undercover from both locations, it appears that asking 18-year-old students to fudge an extra year onto their ages may be a common practice for dealers at the cell phone service provider. “We’re just going to make [you] one year older,” a Fido saleswoman in the Student Union Building (SUB) at UBC told a Ubyssey reporter inquiring as a potential underage customer.
B.C. law prevents minors under the age of 19 from being legally bound by contracts. Additionally, law professors interviewed about Fido’s practices argue that this practice could possibly constitute fraud. Presently, no governmental agency appears to be responsible for enforcing the behaviour of cell phone providers. Fido paid $5,000 for the exclusive sponsorship of two events during Jump Start, a two-week orientation event for first-year
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international students at UBC in August. At a parents’ reception and a student dinner in mid-August, Fido signed many students up for their first Canadian cell phone plans. Fido also had a table in the SUB during the first week of classes, while Skynet Wireless, a Fido-authorized dealer, had booths in the first-year residences during the first week of school. Several of the underage students who spoke to The Ubyssey found the lines at those events too long, and signed up at the Fido store on 519 West Broadway, a bus ride away, instead. At all of these locations, salespeople reportedly offered to let 18-year-olds enter into multi-year contracts. T., an 18-year-old Arts student from Wisconsin, said she visited the Broadway store with her mother, who T. assumed would need to sign the contract for her. The Ubyssey is only identifying underage students interviewed for this article by the first letters of their names to avoid putting their contracts in jeopardy or exposing them to legal liability. T. described standing at the counter while a Fido salesperson read off her passport, activating her account over the phone. “They were reading it off and they said April 22 … 1993,” said T., whose passport attests that she was actually born in 1994. “And my mom and I both jumped up and we were like, ‘What? That’s not my birthday.’ And the person behind the counter told us, ‘Stop, let it go.’” T. said the salesperson later offered to correct her birthday but discouraged it, saying it would make things more difficult. According to UBC law professor Bruce MacDougall, B.C.’s Infants Act declares that any contract signed by a minor is unenforceable on the minor, at least until he or she reaches the age of majority. In some cases, this can mean the contract stays unenforceable even after that minor’s 19th birthday. MacDougall said that even though an 18-year-old signing a cell phone contract isn’t actually bound by its terms, many such minors feel compelled to follow them anyway.
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www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page five
continued
A legal grey area
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4 “A lot of people actually abide by contracts that aren’t actually binding on them,” said MacDougall. “There are all sorts of contracts that you don’t have to abide by, but people do because they’re led to believe that somehow they’re binding.” As well as believing they are locked into a cell phone plan’s monthly fees, underage students who have signed up with Fido also run the risk of having their credit damaged, MacDougall explained. Many questions about the legality of Fido’s practices, and who is in charge of enforcing those laws, remain fuzzy. There is little regulation in the Canadian cell phone market, and it’s unlikely that the company would face any consequences for signing up underage customers unless the customers themselves complain. In 1996, the federal telecommunications regulator, the Canadian Radio-television Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), decided that there was enough competition in the cellphone market that federal oversight was no longer needed. “From that point onwards, wireless providers did not have to get the CRTC to approve their rates, terms and conditions of service,” said Kirsten Embree, a part-time professor at the University of Ottawa and former legal counsel at AT&T Canada. AT&T Canada previously held an ownership stake in Rogers Wireless, which has been Fido’s parent company since 2004. Embree continued, “The CRTC has never really focused specifically on the age at which contracts are entered into ... I think there’s an implicit assumption that contracts will be with individuals who are over the age of majority.”
Illustration by Indiana Joel/The Ubyssey.
FIRST-TIME BUYERS When The Ubyssey went undercover to the Fido authorized dealer at 519 West Broadway and began the process of signing up for a new cellphone plan, we discovered that the rules were easy to flout. “Legally, it’s 19,” a salesperson at the Broadway store told this 18-year-old Ubyssey reporter, when asked if someone who is 18 years old can still hold a regular cellphone plan. “But I can make it work,” she added. She indicated that she would be using a false age when entering the account information into a Fido database. When asked why it was necessary to put down a false age, she explained, “It’s just with Canada ... once you sign up, they want you to take responsibility of the account. So they want you to be older.” It isn’t strictly illegal for people under the age of 19 to sign a contract; the law only says that while people are still minors, they can’t be bound by the contract’s terms. Recording a customer’s age incorrectly as 19 doesn’t make the contract enforceable, but it does make it look like salespeople are complying with Fido’s
corporate policy when they aren’t. Sara Holland, a spokesperson from Fido’s parent company, Rogers, said that the company’s policy was to only allow people who are 19 years and older to hold contract-based cellphone plans. “Students may have different experiences going through [authorized dealers] when it comes to price,” wrote Holland in an email. “What should be consistent across the board, however, is our policy on age and account activation.” Rogers’ policy states that proof of age must be provided when a customer opens an account. “Customers under age of majority are not eligible to act as a financially responsible party (i.e. account holder),” wrote Holland. While Holland said Rogers does not disclose employee compensation, several online sources, including a job description on the Rogers website, indicate Fido salespeople are expected to meet sales goals. On Glassdoor, a website where employees post reviews of the companies they work for, someone describing themself as a Rogers employee in Ottawa
said commissions were tied to “impossible targets.” The pressure of sales goals would provide an incentive to violate corporate policy and sign up underage customers. In 2008, the Toronto Star reported that Fido was shifting its business model from “one focused on attracting young urban professionals to one targeting priceconscious first-time buyers.” “Price-conscious first-time buyers” might describe the 700 or so international students at Jump Start, most of whom were under 19, as well as many of the UBC students encountering Fido’s tables in the SUB and at campus residences during the first week of school. Holland said Fido’s strategy during Jump Start was to sign up 18-year-olds for contract-free prepaid plans, and to restrict contract-based plans, which usually cost less on a per-minute or per-megabyte basis, to those 19 years and older. She added that the goal of Jump Start was to attract international students in general, not specifically first-year students, though the program is exclusively for firstyear students.
news
page six | November 20 2012 | vol. 5 issue 05
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
cell phones
Is Fido knowingly signing minors to cell phone contracts? CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 Under the Infants Act, if an adult ratifies a contract they signed while underage, then it becomes legally binding for both parties. Ratifying a contract can be as simple as the adult informing the other party, in this case Fido, that they are now old enough accept the terms of the contract and wish to do so. “I have a suspicion that what they may be doing is trying to turn [a minor informing them about an ‘error’ in their age] into a ratification,” MacDougall said. MacDougall added that if a student does not repudiate the contract, either verbally or simply by stopping payment, within one year of turning 19, the contract is considered to be ratified automatically. MacDougall was clear in in his criticism of the Fido salespeople’s practices. “In terms of contracts, it almost certainly would be an illegal contract,” MacDougall said. A contract becomes illegal when it violates a public policy or piece of legislation, he explained. In this case, getting a minor to sign a cellphone contract attempts to skirt laws meant to prevent the exploitation of minors. Professor Joel Bakan, who also teaches contract law at UBC, took an even stronger stance. Encouraging minors to lie about their age “in order to avoid legal restrictions in British Columbia is … highly problematic, akin to fraud, as there is a deliberate attempt to profit through deliberate deceit,” wrote Bakan in an email. “The company’s actions are certainly unethical and likely unlawful.” UBC professor Joost Blom, who is familiar with both contract and fraud law, said it was unclear whether it constituted fraud to lead underage students to believe the contracts they signed were legally binding. However, Blom certainly thought the process was deceptive. “Falsely telling someone what their legal rights are isn’t necessarily fraud,” Blom said, adding, “It’s not an easy matter.” LEGAL HOT POTATO With the CRTC no longer regulating cellphone companies, it’s unclear who is in charge of ensuring they follow
ethical guidelines. “We don’t regulate contracts like that; I know, for sure, that is provincially regulated,” a CRTC spokeswoman said, saying that The Ubyssey should instead contact Consumer Protection B.C. Consumer Protection B.C. — the provincial agency charged with regulating business practices, including contracts — said the matter fell outside of their purview because there are federal bodies charged with overseeing the telecommunications industry. Those bodies are the CRTC and the Commissioner for Complaints for Telecommunications Services (CCTS). The CCTS is a federal agency that addresses consumer complaints
“
Falsely telling someone what their legal rights are isn’t necessarily fraud . . . It’s not an easy matter.
”
against phone companies. However, a representative said they cannot intervene unless a consumer brings a personal complaint to their attention, and even then, they can only act if a cellphone company is explicitly violating its own corporate terms of service. Fido’s terms of service make no mention of age. Most of the 18-year-old students who signed contracts with Fido said in interviews with The Ubyssey that they were happy with their phone service, so it’s unlikely that any of them will be complaining to the CCTS anytime soon. “The guy who was working at the [Fido] desk was really cool,” said J., the student from California. He said upon learning his age, the Fido salesman told him, “I know this is the situation, that you are a student, so I’m going to help you with this.” The CCTS told The Ubyssey that Canada’s Competition Bureau, which enforces various business regulations, might have some jurisdiction over this matter. This summer, the bureau launched a class-action lawsuit against wireless
companies Rogers, Bell and Telus for allegedly misleading customers about fees. However, on the issue of minors signing contracts, Competition Bureau spokesman Bray Park said, “It may be more prudent to contact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or a local law enforcement authority.” The RCMP did not reply to repeated requests for comment and the Vancouver Police Department does not have jurisdiction over UBC’s campus. When told that the federal agencies declined to address the issue, Consumer Protection B.C. spokesman Manjit Bains said the agency would follow up with the CRTC and CCTS. However, after Bains checked with both those bodies, he said he had no new information. A Consumer Protection B.C. representative said they would look to raise the issue during their periodic discussions with the government. VETTING FIDO In the case of Fido’s Jump Start sponsorship, UBC international student advisor Michelle Suderman said Jump Start relied on the government to ensure sponsors followed ethical business practices. Randy Schmidt, associate director of UBC Public Affairs, elaborated on the vetting process. “Jump Start staff put out a request of interest for their event ... reviewed them for issues like fit, whether they met a student need, service [and] affordability,” Schmidt wrote in an email. “Fido was chosen as a good fit.” Schmidt continued, “We are not aware of any complaints or concerns about their presence at the Jump Start [events].” The Alma Mater Society (AMS), UBC’s student union, provided little information about how they vetted vendors in the SUB, how much they charge to rent vendor tables, or which authorized dealer was representing Fido at the table in the SUB during the first week of school. The AMS referred any legal questions about vendors’ actions to the RCMP and said they had not heard from any students unhappy with the Fido booth’s actions. As for Skynet Wireless, the Fidoauthorized dealer present in the first-
year residences during the first week of school, Schmidt said Student Housing and Hospitality Services enters into agreements with vendors every year who pay a daily fee. Schmidt added that Skynet had been on campus during the first week of school since 2010. When this Ubyssey reporter went undercover to try to sign up at one of the Skynet booths, a salesperson said that no lying about age was necessary. The Skynet salesperson said they could sign up anyone who “had credit,” which they said could be obtained by purchasing a prepaid credit card. Anyone 16 years of age or older can get a pre-paid credit card in Canada, though most such cards do not actually contribute to the user’s credit history. TIGHTENING THE LEASH Rogers spokeswoman Holland said Rogers would be investigating these incidents, and she said they would take steps to make sure this practice doesn’t keep happening. “It is hugely concerning to us if students are being signed up in violation of our policy or being encouraged to be dishonest about their ages,” she wrote in an email. With an eye toward providing more oversight of cellphone companies, Ontario, Manitoba and Nova Scotia have all passed legislation regulating cellphone contracts’ terms and conditions over the past year. Frustrated by the piecemeal nature of these new provincial regulations, Rogers and Telus have petitioned the CRTC to create a national consumer code regulating cellphone contracts, with Rogers going as far as to submit an actual code to the CRTC for consideration. “Everybody seems to play a little bit of a different role,” said Bains, the Consumer Protection B.C. spokeswoman. “There’s definitely room for strengthening the oversight of cellphone contracts.”
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culture
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page seven
Music
George Lucas sells Star Wars to Disney
I
connor doyle contributor
On Oct. 30, Disney announced its purchase of Lucasfilm from its chairman and founder, George Lucas. The $4.05 billion buyout centered on the transition of Lucas’s seminal Star Wars franchise to the Walt Disney corporation, whose previous acquisitions include Pixar Studios and Marvel Comics. In a statement announcing the buyout, Disney revealed it plans to release a new chapter in the Star Wars film series, the seventh part overall, sometime in 2015, with subsequent films being released every few years afterwards. For his part, Lucas commented: “It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of film-makers.” What does this mean for fans of Star Wars, an unrivaled cultural phenomenon that has already produced two trilogies collectively spanning a 30-year period? Some definite shifts in narrative and structure due to the transition of creative power are coming, but perhaps we’ll find an altogether new way of looking at the beloved series and reexamine its role in cinematic storytelling. The first three Star Wars films were released in the late seventies to early
eighties; conceptualized by George Lucas, each movie benefited from an entire crew, hundreds-strong, lending their talents and vision to a single product. Massive rewrites, meticulous details, and engaging characters made the first trilogy a landmark in cinema history. The second trilogy, however, suffered from Lucas’s singular vision; with complete power over his franchise, he did not accommodate the collaborative process that made the first three movies so spectacular. As a result, the prequels were poorly written and lacked significant direction or cinematic excellence. Many fans felt alienated after the second trilogy, and the phrase “George Lucas ruined my childhood” became a rallying-cry for those opposed to the direction of the franchise. But now, free from the hands of its creator and primary antagonist, Star Wars will become a new creature under the Disney banner. Disney has an impressive track-record of producing some of the most electrifying and consumable movies in film history, from the earliest animation efforts such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, to modern box-office juggernauts like
Pirates of the Caribbean and The Avengers. Additionally, it’s long been discussed that Lucas’s original concept was to have a nine-part series, three trilogies in all, and now with a new screenwriter/director at the helm, the final three installments can avoid the pitfalls of the prequels and ideally match, or even exceed, the acclaim of the first three. It’s possible that Disney may decide to extend the series beyond a ninth chapter, turning Star Wars into a film cycle that, like the James Bond franchise, continuously adapts and re-imagines the movies’ universe. Perhaps Star Wars will become our culture’s Arthurian Cycle; stories handed down from the ages, with some of each generation’s finest authors contributing to the mythos. Rampant speculation has already sprung up over who will lead Star Wars into a new era, with many of Hollywood’s leading filmmakers already attached to direct. Though little is yet known about Star Wars Episode VII, the Disney buyout of Lucasfilms should encourage a moderate hope that the best years of the franchise are not entirely behind us.
page eight | November 20 2012 | vol. 5 issue 05
culture
VIDEO GAMES
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
MOVIES
What’s new in Black Ops 2? Midnight’s Children offers
magic and mystery
I
chris harcus associate culture editor
Following the record-breaking commercial success of last year’s Modern Warfare 3, Activision’s Call of Duty franchise seems primed for even more success with the recent release of the highly anticipated Black Ops 2. To the average consumer, the Black Ops and Modern Warfare series can seem interchangeable; for instance, both series feature a macho soldier as a protagonist who deals death to what appears to be generations of foreign nations across the globe via Michael Bay-like set pieces. While there are definitely obvious similarities, each series has its own quirks that help make each version stand out. In celebration of the release of Black Ops 2, we here at the Runner have garnered together three major differences that separate Black Ops 2 from its Modern Warfare predecessor. The living dead Introduced as an Easter egg in 2008’s World At War, Zombies have become a defining part of the Black Ops experience. The original rendition of the addictive mode revolved around four players in a cramped house fighting off waves of increasingly aggressive undead for as long as possible. For Black Ops 2, the mode has been greatly expanded by turning the cramped house into a massive landscape populated by the living dead. Players will have to use a fortified bus to traverse the deadly terrain (à la Dawn of the Dead) while hunting for ammo, weapons, and the reasons that caused the zombie apocalypse in the first place. A story worthy of a good action movie The Call of Duty franchise has never been a story-focused series; most story details tend to devolve into “SHOOT THE TERRORISTS!” being screamed at the protago-
nist over his radio. The original Black Ops tried to change that with its conspiracy driven story that was interwoven with actual events that occurred during the Cold War. The resulting story was praised as being a bold step forward for the franchise with particular praise being directed towards the game’s abandonment of relying on radio chatter to deliver dialogue. For Black Ops 2, developer Treyarch has doubled-down on its efforts to make Call of Duty a cinematic experience that delivers the story as well as the special effects expected from a bigbudget Hollywood movie. Treyarch has made significant enhancements to the characters facial animations which allows for a greater range of emotion to be conveyed, as well as including multiple decisions for the player to make which will directly impact the story, eventually leading to one of the game’s multiple endings. Combine all these changes with the fact that the story is penned by the writer of the Dark Knight trilogy, and Black Ops 2 might have a story that could rival Hollywood blockbusters. Blood and guts Unlike developer Infinity Ward’s Modern Warfare series, the Black Ops series has always been obsessed with one-upping itself when it comes to the blood and gore gross-out factor. Rampant dismemberment litters battlegrounds with shades of red while cringe worthy cut scenes show poor soldiers getting cigarettes shoved in their eyes, pipes pounded into their heads, and glass shards shoved into their mouths. Meanwhile during zombie gameplay, shooting off an undead’s legs will cause him to crawl towards the player while snarling and leaving a bloody smear in his wake. The attention to detail in the gore is gleefully sadistic and while it may not have a direct impact on gameplay, it will insure that the billions of players who bought the game are guaranteed a bloody good time.
I
elizabeth hann associate copy editor
There may be a month and a half left to go before the end of 2012, but I’ve already seen the film of the year, the front-runner in the race for Academy Award for Best Picture, the must-see. And the film in question is Midnight’s Children. The backstory behind this film is almost as fascinating as the film itself. Midnight’s Children is an adaptation of the prizewinning 1980 debut novel of the infamous author Salman Rushdie. It has been adapted by controversy-courting Indo-Canadian director Deepa Mehta, with assistance from Rushdie himself. Since neither Rushdie nor Mehta felt safe working in India, the movie was filmed in Sri Lanka, with elaborately constructed sets and a cast of thousands. All the above information is good to know, but the question remains – what is Midnight’s Children about? The plot of Midnight’s Children is extremely hard to summarize – and more than that, summarizing the story completely would almost ruin its startling power. Nevertheless, some kind of summary must be attempted. To put it roughly, Midnight’s Children tells the story of Saleem Sinai, a boy born at the stroke of midnight on August 14th, 1947 – the exact moment that India achieved independence from British colonial rule, and became a country in its own right. Saleem literally grows up with his country, and this fact weighs heavy on him. He grows up with an immense sense of destiny, and he discovers that, as a result of being born at such a
mythic and momentous hour, he may – or may not – have magical powers. But this is not to suggest that the film is merely, or even primarily, a fantasy. Though it features magic, mysteries, Byzantine plot twists, and discursions into the stories of a dozen minor characters, Midnight’s Children is mostly a coming-of-age story on a grand, mythic scale. It traces not just Saleem’s coming-ofage, but the coming-of-age of India itself. Midnight’s Children is a beautiful story, and it has been adapted into a beautiful film. The scenery in this movie is sometimes gorgeous (the Taj Mahal and other ancient temples), sometimes heartbreaking (Bombay slums, a forest clearing transformed into a bloody battleground) but always awe-inspiring. The cinematography, by Giles Nuttgens, is the best I have seen all year. Playing the central character, Saleem, from ages seventeen to thirty, newcomer Satya Bhabha (who previously appeared as the minor character Matthew Patel in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) conveys just the right air of amused bewilderment and fatalism for a character who grows up thinking he’ll be history’s conqueror and ends up being history’s pawn. I said it at the start of this review, and I’ll say it again: Midnight’s Children is the film of the year, the film that deserves to win Best Picture, the must-see. It’s bold, beautiful, and above all brave movie, a film about India made by people who love and understand it from firsthand experience.
culture
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner TV
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page nine
opinion
Five TV comedies to help you fail your finals I TENZIN BUTSANG
Gone are the good old days of television when a show had over 20-million viewers an episode and reality television was actually reality. There are numerous conspiracy theories about the legitimacy of Jersey Shore - who can blame them really? Although I may be skeptical about reality television, I always give comedies a chance, no matter how stupid they look. For example, I watched the first episode of Reba McEntire’s new show Malibu Country. I may have been the shows only viewer and skipped through the majority of its cheesy dialogue, but I still gave it the dignity of my semi-viewership. This is the glory of watching shows online. No commercials, easy to fast-forward, and you always have the option of lying in bed with your laptop on your stomach gobbling down a bag of chips. Many a night have I spent like this. However, the following comedy shows have not only restored my faith in television, they are also the only shows I would actually watch at the original broadcasting time. This an honor I only consider second to “liking” the shows official Facebook page. Let me preface this by saying that I have watched every episode of all the seasons of all of the following shows. Time well spent, a life well lived. Happy Endings Are you still looking for the void that Friends has left in your heart? Look no further, your happy ending is here (ha). Six best friends living in Chicago that are funny and have funny things happen to them. There’s the gay slob, the foreversingle girl, the effeminate Black guy, his competitive Serbian wife, her ditzy little sister, and her ex-fiancé Dave. Brad (Damon Wayans Junior) makes this show extra spicy. Although it’s easy to make comparisons to Friends, people should also watch this show because it is funny and original like a delicate snowflake. Parks and Recreation Amy Poehler. Aziz Ansari. Chris Pratt. Aubrey Plaza. I don’t really have much else to say.
NTSF:SD:SUV Short for National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle. An eleven-minute comedy on Adult Swim that has more awesome guest stars than it has airtime (J.K. Simmons, Ed Helms, Alison Brie, Bill Hader…). This show is founded on the sole premise of making fun of America’s favorite crime shows. It takes place in an alternate reality where supermodels are hideous and Wilmer Valderrama (That ‘70s Show’s Fez) is the epitome of intelligence. Some of the plot lines are just as confusing as the show’s title but that is what makes it great. Community The little engine that could. Since it’s premiere in 2009 it has been threatened with cancellation countless times and is currently on hiatus again. Hopefully NBC will get its head out of its ass soon and put this show back on the air. Community is a comedy about a group of students at a rural community college who meet by forming a Spanish study group. Add an overly enthused dean and psychopathic head of security and hilarity ensues. What more is there to say? The writing is great and the episodes get really creative. There was an entire episode in 8-bit video game format for heavens sake. Genius. Workaholics IF YOU LIKE PUNS, CUTE BOYS, AND OR WATCHING PEOPLE FUCK SHIT UP WATCH THIS SHOW. Workaholics is about three awesome best friends named, Adam, Blake, and Anders (“AHN-ders with a hard AHN!”) who use their job at a telemarketing company as a playground for doing stupid shit. They go on strike with the demand of a vacation day for Half-Christmas. What is HalfChristmas you ask? No one really knows, but that episode was funny.
Teach your grandparents about email scams! I
TABITHA SWANSON associate cULTURE editor
In a flurry, my grandmother came to me to say that “we can’t drink orange juice while we eat seafood anymore!” She then showed me what was obviously a chain email. It said that having vitamin C in the body while eating seafood will likely result in a stroke. While I didn’t believe it when I read it, I figured I would look it up. As I perused around the internet, I found that it was a compilation of misinformation. When I approached my grandmother, she thought I was being silly because it was sent by one of her friends. I explained to her that this is how chain letters get passed along – because people keep sending them to each other. I’m sure all of us have gotten those letters saying, “If you send this to five friends in five minutes, you’ll have good luck for the rest of your life,” or, “I used THIS to make THAT better in bed. Click on the link below to find out how.” Chain mail like this is blatant and easy to spot, even for people who aren’t internet savvy. But what about the mail that could be real, where the content it contains is semi-believable. How does the less web-inclined portion of our population protect themselves? Some chain mail is harmless. But, a lot of them can contain viruses that can harm a person’s computer, leaving the user
helpless. People who create chain mail do it for a number of reasons, and none of them are with good intent. What kind of a person skews health care warnings and makes it into a chain letter? And what would they think if they knew that old people were passing it around from computer to computer with intentions of saving each other’s lives. This person obviously had too much time on their hands. Online, it can be hard to recognize what is real and fake. My grandparents were raised in a generation where you could trust more. They didn’t grow up with the same suspicion and wary eye that we naturally use when processing information. We as a generation have to try and protect them from being scammed and educate them on how the internet works. It’s interesting because a lot of them have been thrown into this world that is hard for them to learn and understand, while for us it’s often second nature. It can be a hard concept to grasp, but there are dangers in this plugged-in world. Where things are real but, at the same time, they aren’t tangible. For people who haven’t grown up in this type of environment, it can be hard to know what is credible and what isn’t. Heck, even for people who have grown up with the internet, it’s hard.
procrastination
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stars
COMICS
taurus April 20 - May 20
scorpio Oct. 24 - Nov. 22 Make sure your keyboard isn’t plotting to kill you. They get bloodthirsty during the yearly Pegasus moon cycle, which takes place in November.
sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 21
“Give a grilled cheese sandwich to an alligator and he’ll only spit it back in your face and call you a gold digger.” - Gandhi
gemini May 21 - June 20
The end of November is when all of the stars are rounded up one by one and executed by a giant flaming Centaur. Keep this in mind.
During a phone interview with The Runner, the Spirit World said that “people under the Gemini star sign are completely fucked this month.”
cancer June 21 - July 23
capricorn Dec. 22 - Jan. 20 Follow your dreams, unless you dream of becoming an astronaut, because that’s just stupid.
aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
SUDOKU
You’re alive. Good job. Enjoy it while it lasts. Word on the street is that Heaven is just now getting the iPhone 4.
leo July 24 - Aug. 23
The Spirit World says you should go listen to Aqua. Or don’t, it says. Nothing really matters anyway, it added.
The kid in The Sixth Sense can see ghosts, and a lot of the people in the movie are actually dead. Remember this in the days ahead.
pisces Feb. 20 - March 20
The circle of life is slowly morphing into a hexagon of life. Meditate on this three times a day, and all of life’s great mysteries will be solved.
aries March 21 - April 19
Here are your lotto numbers for November: 4290 5i2352930513512509182590125812095812980512581 2905812095128591250812058120581204124012412.
virgo Aug. 24 - Sept. 23
The stars, which are filled with confetti, are falling toward Earth. If you have a confetti phobia, it would be a good idea to go to another planet.
libra Sept. 24 - Oct. 23
November is typically a rough month for Libras. Stay away from meerkats and you should be fine.
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page ten
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
culture
vol. 5 issue 05 | November 20 2012 | page eleven
pop culture
Culture Roundup Your monthly review of pop culture – from the amusing to the irreverent.
Most people don’t love the creepy Oogieloves The children’s film The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure has been declared the absolute worst box office bomb of all-time. The movie, which premiered in August, managed to make only $1 million back from its $20 million budget. The film, which encourages people in the audience to sing and dance, was critically panned and currently has a 1.9/10 rating on IMDB. Its cast includes Christopher Lloyd, Toni Braxton, Cary Elwes and Jamie Pressly.
Cell phone solution Chris Brown posters defaced
Movie theatre chain Cinemark has announced its plans to implement an innovative way to stop movie-goers from using their cell phones during movies. Customers will be able to download a free app to their phones that will dim the cell phone’s screen and reward customers who refrain from accessing their cell phones during the movie with coupons for tickets and concessions.
Posters in Sweden advertising an upcoming concert for rapper Chris Brown have been defaced by antidomestic violence activists. The advertisements were
partially covered by large photos of a bruised and battered Rihanna following a previous assault case inflicted by Brown on the R&B singer.
page twelve | November 20 2012 | vol. 5 issue 05
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