Vol. 5 Issue 14 by The Runner

MAY

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2013 KILLING SOCIALISM SINCE 2009

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PRO-LIFE CLUB DEBUTS ON CAMPUS

4 years

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May / 21 / 2013

Slimy... yet satisfying!

The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 72 Ave. Surrey, B.C, V3W 2MB 778.565.3801

The Runner

www.runnermag.ca Vol. 05, Issue no. 14 May 21, 2013 ISSN# 1916 8241

Fancy a taste of mom’s homemade mealworm spaghetti? Do you want some chocolatecovered crickets for dessert? Adding bugs to our diet could be a nutritious way to ensure food sustainability, according to a report released May 13 by the United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO). Approximately two billion people consume insects in their diets daily. This is not to say you should start making cockroach shish kebobs for the grill, but many insects are high in iron, protein and healthy fats though it varies by species and even the metamorphic stage of the insect. However, since insects emit fewer greenhouse gases and require less food than the average livestock to produce the same amount of protein, insect farming could be an environmentally friendly way for people to make a profit. Bug cuisine could provide a potentially cheap solution for battling malnutrition and hunger. It’s something to consider the next time you reach for that can of RAID.

EDITORIAL DIVISON

Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!

Co-ordinating Editor / Matt DiMera

Kwantlen Student Association councillor Yasir Raja, a business faculty representative, thinks council members shouldn’t have to pay for parking. At the May 1 council meeting, Raja pointed out that although few members do drive, there should be subsidized parking for the those need it. Arzo Ansary, KSA Women’s representative agreed, pointing out the hassle of having to pay. While a number of council members agreed that paying the $5 in parking to attend meetings did not incentivize council members to be more engaged, Jared Penland, a senate representative disagreed. “As directors we have an [obligation] to the society to make the best decisions for the board. That’s not thinking of our own self interest, but what’s actually best for the society, and barring in mind that we have had consecutive operating deficits,” said Penland.

editor@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3803

Culture Editor / Max Hirtz culture@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3804 News Editor / Vacant news@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3804 Production Editor / Roland Nguyen production@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3804

Media Editor / Kimiya Shokoohi media@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3804

Assistant News Editors / Sarah Schuchard / Chloe Smith / Sasha Mann

Associate News Editor / Brian Evancic Associate Opinion Editor / Hannah Ackeral

CONTRIBUTORS Alex Hawley, Jon Turner

Cover Photo

So, it’s gonna look like a giant yoga mat, right? Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) has now selected a design team for the proposed Chip and Shannon Wilson School of Design to be built on the Richmond campus. Two architecture firms — KPMB Architects of Toronto and PUBLIC Architecture and Communication of Vancouver — will make up the team working on the design for the Richmond campus building-project, which has received $36 million in funding. The new program for the planned School of Design is scheduled to launch in January 2014. It will be a post-baccalaureate diploma program, designed for students who have already completed a bachelor’s degree. According to a KPU media release, Chip Wilson, the founder of Lululemon, and his wife Shannon Wilson donated $8 million. Lululemon as a company donated four million dollars. Both KPU and the B.C. government matched the $12 million donation.

Roland Nguyen

BUSINESS DIVISION Operation Manager / Victoria Almond office@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3801

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NEWS

May / 21 / 2013

Kwantlen

Psych students losing their minds and lab over budget cuts

Psychology lab, located in Fir building at Surrey campus. Sarah Schuchard/ The Runner

The removal of the pyschology lab will affect futures, say students.

SARAH SCHUCHARD ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) psychology students are concerned that budget cuts will hurt their future career chances. According to documents obtained by The Runner, the psychology department’s budget has been cut almost in half by $27,800, slashing the department’s non-salary operating fund. The non-salary operating fund was used to hire psychology students that could be of assistance in the two labs located on the Surrey and Richmond campus. Bert Seger, a fourth year psychology student and vice president of the Kwantlen Psychology Society knows first-hand how the cuts have affected students. Now a graduate student at Simon Fraser University, Seger was one of the hired student lab assistants. “We found out [about the cuts] when we got notice that we were losing our jobs,” says Seger. In an interview with The Runner, Seger

insisted that without the psychology lab and the student assistants there to help, Kwantlen would be stunting a program that is well-known, and well-respected in the psychology industry and graduate schools. “If they have their budget cut, then the students that are employed in the lab can no longer be employed, which for some of them would mean finding a job off campus, which would mean possibly not being able to study full time which is a big deal if you’re trying to go into grad school,” says Seger. According to the KSA’s former director of student life Jamie Cellier, the cuts took place April 1. Cellier was director of student life at the time when psychology students asked the KSA to help advocate against the budget cut. “We are selling their futures short and the thing is psychology is one of those few faculties that puts Kwantlen on the map,” says Cellier. Concerned psychology students fear that the cut student jobs could mean restricted access and services from the lab space. According to the March 25 university senate agenda, all faculties and departments will be facing a one per cent deduction in

their budget. Cellier believes the rationale to the severe cut in the psychology budget is linked to a recent cut in university funding. “I had several conversations surrounding budget with upward administrators and honesty these guys were handed a pretty bad deck,” he says. “They were asked to cut off one per cent from every single faculty to try and make up for the drastic cuts that the government has been shoving down their throats.” Romy Kozak, associate dean of the faculty of arts, argues that the one per cent decrease has nothing to do with the psychology department, and only affects the administrative side. She said that the recent lack of funding for the non-salary operating budget had to do with a reallocating of the budget, from psychology to other departments. “We were addressing some imbalances that became apparent to us among the various departments and programs that we have. A few departments were getting a rather substantial part of the funds available and other areas were getting absolutely nothing ... we want to encourage the success of all of our

students in the arts,” says Kozak. Described on the Kwantlen website as a strenuous program, the psychology lab allows students to be informed in how to apply for scholarships and to learn or participate in research, which Seger says is necessary for students to continue on to graduate school. Although the space is provided with two professional support staff, students know the actual experience of being in the psychology program, and are better able to help, says Segel. “I’m going to SFU for cognitive neuroscience. Part of what got me in there was the research work that I did here at Kwantlen for which I would not have had the opportunity without a psych lab.” Although Kozak says there is still in an ongoing discussion with the psychology department. “It’s at the department’s discretion how they allocate that budget,” she says. “In terms of professional support staff the lab assistants who enable the running of the lab, that hasn’t been cut.”

NEWS

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May / 21 / 2013

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Controversial pro-life club makes conflict-free campus debut Protectores Vitae talks bioethics and sex-selective abortions.

SASHA MANN ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

The presence of a pro-life club at the summer semester’s Welcome Week marked the emergence of an organized anti-abortion movement at Kwantlen. Protectores Vitae made headlines in late 2012, when it threatened legal action against the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA) after being denied official club status. Protectores Vitae is now an official, funded club. Its display on May 7 was the club’s largest public action to date. Despite the controversy surrounding Protectores Vitae’s formation, its member’s interactions with students at the Langley Welcome Week festivities were free of conflict. There were no graphic images as part of the club’s display, which relieved pro-choice students.    Founder Oliver Capko says the low-key approach of the group at Welcome Week was designed to help them fit in with the celebratory theme of the event. “You don’t want to just go in there and

Apostolos Zimeras Philosophy I think that Kwantlen should remain diverse and not associate with groups because we’re here to learn. By bringing issues like this to the table we run the risk of eliminating certain groups from wanting to be here. I mean this is university, we should be leading those discussions in our classes and not associating with them. What we do out of here is great and what we do in a university should be pretty broad – we shouldn’t take any stances. I choose specifically not to go to a school for example that associated itself with Christian ideologies — not because I lack Christian belief — it’s because I’m here to go to school. This is supposed to be an open university, if that changed I wouldn’t want to be here.

kind of wreck it or be offensive to anyone on Welcome Week,” he says. Capko is also keen to mend relations with the KSA and demonstrate that Protectores Vitae is part of a healthy dialogue on campus. “We’re open to whatever ... means” As Protectores Vitae develops, the initial calmness may be exchanged for more forceful tactics. “I’m not going to say that that’s not in our consideration: using graphic images and whatnot,” says Capko in an interview with The Runner. “We’re open to whatever we deem to be an effective means to get the message and the reality of abortion out on campus.” That whatever-it-takes attitude has Arzo Ansary, the women’s representative for the KSA, concerned. “Graphic content would create a lot of difficulty for our students,” Ansary says. She believes that Protectores Vitae’s presence on campus could be triggering and traumatic for students which would be “clearly unacceptable.” It’s evident that tensions between the student union and the

club have not fully dissipated. Parallels can be drawn between Kwantlen and the University of Victoria in the way that their student associations have handled anti-abortion groups. In 2010, Youth Protecting Youth (YPY) had its club status revoked by the University of Victoria Students’ Society (UVSS). Threatened with legal action, UVSS reversed its decision. A year later, the anti-abortion club was disciplined again by the student society according to The Martlet, UVic’s student newspaper. YPY members had launched a campaign with signs that featured pictures of aborted fetuses and the word “choice?” on top. Protectores Vitae’s future relationship with the KSA and students will depend on what materials it deems to be appropriate in spreading its message.

Gendercide and feminism

Protectores Vitae’s main focus at welcome week was sex-selective abortion, which Capko calls gendercide. He was happy with how the approach went over with students. “With the issue of gendercide, or sex-selective abortions, most people are concerned

Harpinder Grewal Biology I went there and they were nice, like the way they explained everything. People were coming out and they were pretty excited to tell about whatever they were setting out for. They were actually pretty flexible. They were asking people, and they listened to [students].

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and most people are against it, in one form or another,” Capko says. “So the response was generally pretty good.” Capko says the emphasis on sex-selective abortion was partly based on the media attention to that issue. In March, Conservative MP Mark Warawa’s motion to ban sex-selective abortion was rejected by parliament. The motion, and the controversy around it, has received a considerable amount of coverage. The anti-abortion movement in Canada is undergoing a rebranding, according to a recent CBC article. Rather than appealing to religious-based ideas of right and wrong, the contemporary anti-abortion activist uses the language and rhetoric of human rights. The focus on protecting the lives of unborn females is a way in which anti-abortionists try to parallel feminism. But feminists at Kwantlen aren’t thrilled by an anti-choice group saying it stands for women’s rights. Kari Michaels, co-founder of Women Organizing Opportunities for Women (WOOW), says that if students are truly concerned about the rights of women, born or unborn, they should join WOOW and participate in the struggle for gender equality. Michaels says the best way to combat gendercide is to “promote a culture of gender equality and not to restrict access to abortion services for families.”

A simple argument

Capko belives there are only two simple premises that have to be accepted in order to oppose abortion. The first is that it is a moral

The Runner

wrong to kill an innocent human being. The second is that an unborn child is an innocent human being. Therefore abortion is morally wrong. If you accept the premises you must accept the conclusion. Capko argues that the moment at which an embryo which has all its genetic material—its sex, its hair colour, its eye colour—is the moment at which it is an individual, a human being. He says his argument is biological. Ansary, who was director of external affairs for the KSA at the time Protectores Vitae was founded, says they have a connection to outside religious groups. She points out Protectores Vitae is a member of the National Campus Life Network, and hosted on their website. While the NCLN is not formally religious, Ansary believes that Protectores Vitae is religiously motivated. Although he has a personal faith, Capko emphatically says that Protectores Vitae is not a religious group. He’s frustrated with news articles claiming otherwise. “We have absolutely no connection to anything religious, as a club,” Capko says. Part of the reason the club steers clear of religion is to foster unity within the group. “If we brought religion into it,’ Capko says, “all our meetings would just be heated disputes about religion because we’re not of the same background or religious beliefs.” Capko says the perception that the group is about religion makes people “very adverse,” to it. But to him, religion is not part of Protectores Vitae’s core message. “It’s more the scientific facts of when does life begin.”

Sumayya Ghafoori Political science This is a school, we shouldn’t involve religion with education, because if we do then it’s going to become complicated. There’s going to be conflict. Everyone is going to have their own religion- and just like in class where you can’t say anything against someone’s religion- we can’t have religion in our education system. The KSA shouldn’t be funding things like this. [Protectores Vitae] are doing this, why can’t we have an atheist group going against them and having a booth in Welcome Week as well. I don’t think it was right for them, that’s my opinion. I’m not very positive about the KSA to begin with. It seems like they’re funding the wrong programs, the wrong organizations. They should be funding organizations that are pro-academia, helping groups that are helping students, not religious or political organizations. This is a place where they come to study, not a pace where they come to promote their religion. It makes you wonder if this is the right place for you to be.

May / 21 / 2013

NEWS Kwantlen

“I’d prefer it if they weren’t at Welcome Week.” Women Organizing Opportunities for Women (WOOW) is a pro-choice, feminist club that stands in stark opposition to Protectores Vitae on the issue of abortion rights. “I obviously would prefer it if they weren’t at welcome week talking to students about not having abortions,” says Michaels, “but I’m not going to stop people from talking about their opinions and they have every right to promote their club.” She says she’s happy that there weren’t “violent pictures,” or “gross images,” as part of their display. Michaels is optimistic that Protectores Vitae will maintain that respect for students. “Regardless of what Protectores Vitae de-

cide to do, WOOW will always be promoting safe clinics for women who are choosing to have abortions, safe sex products and contraceptive choices so that women are informed and educated about all their options,” says Michaels. Capko says he wants an open dialogue with WOOW and other students that take a pro-choice position. “Our key message is not necessarily that we’re going to be gung-ho: ‘let’s try to get rid of WOOW’. No, not at all,” he says. “We’re not going to get any dialogue by just viewing each other as enemies. Rather, we have to share in this open pool of information and that’s how we should go forward.”

Ashley McDonald Political science Growing up it’s always like you don’t talk about sex, religion or politics, and this issues encompasses all of those things. I grew up Catholic and you don’t talk about this issue. Everyone has their opinions, but no one needs to hear them. I don’t believe that there should be funding for things that affect so few people, I don’t really care if you’re pro-abortion or you’re not. That’s your opinion and I don’t want to hear about it. I’m from Kelowna and it’s super conservative and I can’t stand it. I came to the Lower Mainland to have a more broader sense of the world, religion and politics. And if I wanted that, I would have stayed there. I’m not against it, I’m not for it — I just don’t want hear about it.

CAMPUS LIFE

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May / 21 / 2013

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Profile

Green thumb leads to gold medals

SARAH SCHUCHARD CHLOE SMITH

Kevin O’Conner is the kind of student that Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) should be featuring in their advertisements. O’Conner, a fourth year horticulture student, has just won his second gold medal competing at Skills Canada. “I went into it just wanting to have a good time,” O’Conner told The Runner. “I competed last year with a co-worker who was actually taking the apprenticeship with me. We placed first in B.C. and we went to Edmonton and competed in the national tournament. This year I competed with a long-time friend of mine- who hap-

pens to be taking the turf diploma program at KPU. We took the gold medal there too and now we will be competing in the national tournament in B.C.” When asked about how his win has affected his career O’Conner said that “it’s certainly given me some bragging right around the shop.” O’Connor began studying at KPU in the fall of 2011, after working with people who recommend the horticulture program to him. He believed that learning more about the field he was already working in was logical step and found his experience at KPU enjoyable. “At Kwantlen it was terrific,” he said. “I’d done a small horticulture course before but [the program] totally expanded upon that and took everything deeper. It

was a great experience- instructors were fantastic, totally approachable and awesome people. I recommend it to most people that I work with that are actually serious about doing this for more than a season.” In addition to his work as a landscape supervisor for Para space Landscaping, O’Conner makes time in his life for a number of hobbies. Music has always been a passion for him – he currently play bass guitar for two bands, the McLean’s Band and the Kurt Bradford Music Enterprise. O’Conner is also an avid cyclist who will be participating in this year’s Ride to Conquer Cancer. “I’m riding with a team called the Legion of Zoom- we’re as recreational cyclist group that meets up on weekends and goes for varying lengths of

KPU horticulture student Kevin O’Conner just won his second gold medal competing at Skills Canada. Sarah Schuchard/The Runner

rides. We’re hoping to raise about $25,000 as a team this year. We’ve raised $13,000 last year, so we’re looking to double that.” So what does the future hold for this talented landscape horticulturist? “I’m not entirely sure yet,” he said. “There are so many different facets of the landscape industry that one can get into- the arboriculture specializations or you could become real into turf. At this stage of the game I’m kind of a jack of all trades trying to find that path. I’d like to be on a focused goal in five years from now, but right now honestly I’m just weighing out all my options, and seeing what those paths are before deciding to head down one.”

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The Runner

May / 21 / 2013

CAMPUS LIFE

Student association welc omes KPU students to summer semester

CUPE 116 workers marched around UBCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s point Grey campus Oct. 4, as part of their first day of job action Kai Jacobson/Ubyssey

EDITORIAL

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May / 21 / 2013

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Strife begins at misconception How pro-life group Protectores Vitae is using a straw man to promote their cause.

THE RUNNER EDITORIAL

Protectores Vitae are deliberately misrepresenting themselves to promote their agenda to students. The group is using sex-specific abortions as a pro-life issue instead of what it is - a feminist issue. The controversial club made its first public appearance at the Langley campus as part of Welcome Week. Their display relied heavily on the documentary It’s a Girl, which focuses specifically on China and India to expose the extreme lengths people have gone to ensure their children are male. The documentary does touch on sex-specific abortions, making it borderline relevant to Protectores Vitae. According to their official club description on the Kwantlen Student Association website, their mandate is to educate students on “life issues, specifically abortion, embryonic stem cell research, euthanasia, and assisted suicide.” Unfortunately for them, It’s A Girl is not an anti-choice film, nor is it necessarily a prochoice film, either. Sex-selective abortion is

explored as part of an overarching problem regarding the status of women in these societies. It isn’t just about fetuses, it’s about female babies that are killed or abandoned, the female children who face neglect and the women who are abused and murdered by their families or spouses. It’s a Girl does not offer a concrete answer to a “life issue,” it opens up a conversation about very complex women’s issues. Sex-selective abortions are not happening because abortions exist, they happen because women are seen as worthless in these communities. This blatant degradation of women is the focus of the film, and it is beyond ironic that Protectores Vitae chose to use it as branding when presenting themselves to new students. How can they shame those featured in the documentary when they are guilty of perpetuating the same sentiments that are the root of practices they are campaigning against? When Protectores Vitae actively promotes an anti-choice agenda, they are also advocating removing women’s rights to their bodies. It diminishes the role a woman plays in their own life, and normalizes their subordination.

This oppressive behavior is mimicked in their lofty goals of “educating” students on other life issues. A quick aside - students should be wary of groups that want to tell them how they should feel about complex and ambiguous moral and ethical issues. Perhaps if Protectores Vitae was more of a philosophy club they might receive more respect for their views. As it is, they are a University club, which feels its opinion on assisted suicide somehow outweighs that of the chronically ill. Most misleading of all the club’s propaganda is the image they would like to project of compassion. By aligning themselves against sex-selective abortion — an area of discomfort amongst both pro-and-anti-choicers — they can appeal to many. After all, who at Kwantlen would support a “gendercide?” However, at their core, their views are laughably naive and dangerously oppressive. In our opinion, Protectores Vitae’s use of the sex-specific abortions to promote their agenda borders on manipulation. There is no compassion in working to remove the rights of others.

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May / 21 / 2013

Beer

CULTURE Ways to take part in the Festival Beer Cocktail Competition

Queen’s Republic, 958 Granville St. June 4, 6 p.m. $25 Bartenders compete to see who serves the best beer cocktail.

Battle of the Casks

Romer’s Burger Bar, 1039 Mainland St. June 5, 5-9 p.m. Outdoor BBQ with four casks from four breweries competing for brew supremacy

Cicerone vs. Sommelier

Legacy Liquor Store, 1633 Manitoba St. June 5, 7-9:30 p.m. $75 Battle between a beer and wine expert to determine which goes best with a meal.

River Rock Casino Closer D. B. Blass/Flick Creative Commons

From draft to craft A talk with Vancouver Beer Week’s marketing director.

BRIAN EVANCIC ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

Vancouver Craft Beer Week (VCBW) starts at the end of May, and no one is more excited than Chris Bjerrisgaard, its marketing director. Bjerrisgaard defines craft beer as an “artisanally-produced” product in which additives are only added to enhance flavour and whose brewery is at least 20 per cent independently-owned. Besides the independent-ownership qualification, how does he exclude the mainstream lagers from this definition, whose owners will surely claim they care deeply about the taste? “I think an educated palate knows the reality. McDonald’s will tell you it’s about the taste too, but deep down inside you know it’s not ... It’s not about shareholder value [with craft beer], it’s about producing the best product you can.” According to him, the industry is all about lifestyle enhancement, run by people who are legitimately passionate, and he believes craft consumers buy into this authenticity. This different focus in the craft-beer culture also has the appeal of not treating beer as merely something “to get you drunk,” but more like “a nice set of cheeses or meats” that you can savour and experimentally match with different kinds of food.

In fact, one of the main events that Bjerrisgaard recommends for newcomers to the VCBW, and to craft beer in general, is one that has just this concept in mind. It is “Cicerone vs. Sommelier” and it is a competition between Don Ferion of Biercraft and Sebastian Le Goff of Cactus Club to decide which goes best with a meal: beer or wine? Another entry-level event he recommends is the closer at the River Rock Casino. Fourounce samples of beer from over 60 breweries will be available for patrons to taste. Unlike other notable VCBW events, tickets are still available for these events at their website, vancouvercraftbeerweek.com, for $75 and $35 each respectively. It is in part because of events like these that Bjerrisgaard says Vancouver is Canada’s leading craft beer city. VCBW was the first event of its kind in Canada, and since then has galvanized local enthusiasm and innovation. He still thinks Canadians have a ways to go if we want to compete with the thriving craft-beer culture of some American cities - like Portland, Philadelphia and Chicago - but believes we are rapidly gaining on them. As things are, though, Bjerrisgaard says that Vancouver has an 80/20 ratio of mainstream-lager drinkers

to craft ones, compared to a 60/40 ratio in the aforementioned American cities. VCBW is hastening the proliferation of craft culture, in spite of the B.C. “prohibitionist” liquor laws that Bjerrisgaard laments. While he believes the festival shouldn’t be exempt from such regulations, he does think a little less stringency would go a long way. Running one of these events requires filling out “lots of weird pieces of paperwork,” bringing in fire and liquor inspectors, applying for a liquor license and putting special disclaimers on the event website - among other things. And “if there’s one guy [among the regulators] having a bad day, then you have to start all over again.” “We like to think our consumer is a quality-educated consumer, and because of that we would like a bit more of an adult treatment, but we understand that the government can’t pick and choose favourites,” he says. Another challenge for the culture is the “macro” beer companies, using their big wallets to exclude craft products from bars by buying tap handles. These companies also market faux-craft beers - like Molson’s “Wheat” beer, which Bjerrisgaard denigrates

8811 River Rd. June 8-9, 5-10 p.m./2-7 p.m. $35 Four-ounce beer samples from over 60 breweries. For more: vancouvercraftbeer.com.

– that lure people away from the real thing. These challenges do not pose an existential threat to the culture; Bjerrisgaard cites the fact that macro companies’ revenue has been declining one to two per cent in the last few years while that of craft breweries has been increasing by 20 per cent in the same period. While he does admit that beer sales overall are down, he believes it is a result of people turning away from “crap beer products” to craft ones - or wine and cocktails. The festival will also be featuring a charity beer from local brewery Parallel 49. All proceeds will be used to purchase Save On Meats meal tokens that will be distributed by the VPD and Downtown Eastside women’s shelters. But besides having a charitable aspect and promoting craft beer, Bjerrisgaard says the festival is all about having fun. He emphasizes that it is not a snobbish, “stuffed-shirt” event and that the goal is to be the “antithesis of a wine festival.” Once you get a taste for the stuff, you can take part in the CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) events that are meant for true connoisseurs. As he puts it: “Beer week sets you up, CAMRA knocks you down.”

CULTURE

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May / 21 / 2013

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Five movies you should probably go see this summer Pacific Rim (July 12)

Writer/director Guillermo del Toro returns to his particular brand of big-budget philosophical sci-fi with Pacific Rim, his personal love letter to Lovecraftian horror tropes and Japanese action flicks. Inter-dimensional aliens have emerged from the Pacific Ocean, and for some reason, the government’s solution is to psychically link pilots with gigantic, unwieldy, and shockingly cost-inefficient mechanized exoskeletons (known as Jaegers) so they can punch them to death. With a strong stable of character actors like Ron Perlman, Idris Elba, and Charlie Hunnam (of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame) and an effusive display of spectacular CGI, the film seems to know exactly what it’s after with an incredibly sincere confidence.

With the underground success of the first Kick-Ass quietly simmering in the comicnerd collective consciousness, it’s safe to say that many audiences have been waiting a long time to sit in a dark theatre and watch a small girl violently disembowel a series of a criminals. The sequel, starring Aaron TaylorJohnson as the titular ass-kicker, Chloë Grace Moretz as Hit-Girl, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as The Mother Fucker, also employs the twisted comedic talents of Jim Carrey. The plot follows Kick-Ass as he confronts the influence of his popularity, which has spawned a group of rival superhero teams seeking exclusive rights to dole out violent vigilantism. Overseeing the film’s undoubtedly brutal violence and black humour is relative newcomer Jeff Wadlow, who also wrote the screenplay.

Why we’re excited:

Ellen McLain, known for her role as the sinister yet sarcastic GLaDOS of the Portal games will provide the voice of the Jaegers’ AI.

JON TURNER CONTRIBUTOR

The World’s End (August 23)

The third film in the so-called “Three Cornettos Trilogy”, based on the entirely irrelevant flavours of ice-cream consumed by the protagonists, The World’s End looks to send up the current crop of post-apocalyptic cinema with the same combination of love and satire as its predecessors, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, did for the genres of horror and action. The plot follows a group of unattractive, thickly-accented alcoholics (i.e. English people) whose attempt to re-enact a failed pub crawl from their youth is upended by an inconvenient alien invasion.

Why we’re excited:

Rumour has it the final Cornetto flavour is mintchocolate. Will this prove the key to demolishing the alien menace, or will it be exploited for cheap comedic effect? Probably both.

Man of Steel (June 18)

Man of Steel is DC’s attempt to reinvigorate their premier superhero franchise with an exciting, gritty reboot. With an award-winning cast including Amy Adams, Kevin Costner, Russell Crowe, and Henry Cavill as the big S, the film will be an ambitious two-and-ahalf hour epic focusing on the origin and personal journey of Earth’s first superhero. While ambition alone isn’t enough, the film also boasts the combined writing talents of David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan, who wrote a trilogy of critically acclaimed films that you may have heard about starring a certain moody, socially awkward billionaire. At the helm is veteran comics-to-film visionary Zack Snyder, who, when he’s not futzing around with overblown CGI male wish-fulfillment fantasies or talking owls, is sure to bring his preternatural understanding of stylish action scenes to the film.

Why we’re excited:

Michael Shannon as an intransigent alien overlord? Sign me up!

Kick-Ass 2 (August 16)

Monsters University (June 21)

Despite the weaker-than-expected reception of their last two features, Pixar remains a synonym for animated perfection, and their latest effort is unlikely to modify that wellearned association. Returning as James P. Sullivan and Mike Wazowski are John Goodman and Billy Crystal respectively, as well as Steve Buscemi as Randall. When the two young monsters arrive at the same fraternity, their intense dislike of one another leads them into a mess of trouble, but their respect for each other grows until they presumably are on good enough terms to sign on for a sequel ten years later. This will be director Dan Scanlon’s first feature film; prior to this, he directed the short film Mater and the Ghostlight. Expect a funny, heartwarming tale about the troubles of college-aged youth.

Why we’re excited:

Okay, it’s not technically part of the film, but the Blue Umbrella short preceding the feature will be Pixar’s first foray into photorealistic animation.

Jim Carrey’s sure to turn in a psychotic performance as the grizzled, sadistic Colonel Stars and Stripes.

W : runnermag.ca

The Runner

May / 21 / 2013

PROCRASTINATION

Horoscope

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20

If you put an ice cube in your mouth, it will melt, right? If you put a desk on top of an ant, it will catch on fire, right?

“The grass growing on my lawn is trying to destroy everything I’ve spent the last decade creating.” - Popeye

The spirit world thinks you should stop thinking about cream cheese and start becoming a renowned cellist.

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20

Gemini May 21 - Jun 20

“I’ve killed men before, but never on an empty stomach.” - Celine Dion

Fuel is like a bundle of sticks is like an escort is like a wizard with eyes on the back of her head and two gold teeth.

Believe in yourself and anything is possible.

The spirit world suggests that you stop playing the victim and start watching more cartoons.

Virgo Aug 24 - Sept 23

Libra Sept 24 - Oct 23

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, so get out there and start collecting goose feathers.

“I feel blue when my baby runs into the jungle and gets attacked by tigers.” - Steve Buscemi

“A crocodile can’t move its tongue and cannot chew.” - Some website

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23

You are so cool. Nobody knows it but me, but it’s true.

Something something needle marks something something something Friday something something spirit world.

Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 23

The Runner

May / 21 / 2013

W : runnermag.ca