11/19/03

THE

MEDIUM The Entertainment Weekly Of Self-Loving Ourselves... All Night Long

Volume XXXV, Number 11 3

www.themedium.net/tv.html

Wednesday, November 19th 2003

“Shouldn’t have gone for the Cuervo...”

Opinions Opinions

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Cornrows and Shitlocks…

A Serious Response to a Serious Issue

By Michael Stanley Editor-In-Chief eic@themedium.net

Why, White People, Why?

By Aija McKenzie, Opinions Editor

The past week has been a very serious one the staff of the Medium. If you haven’t been around campus since last week, you’re in for a surprise when you read this.

Last week we were the targets of accusations that we supported racism with our paper. There was a rally on Thursday that ABC covered and another anti-Medium rally on Friday to which I was lucky enough to attend.

In the past week I have heard many arguments on why we are offensive from the understandable to the absurd, as well as reasons why we shouldn’t exist and how the money we are given could be used for a better purpose.

Obviously all of this affects me, being the Editor in Chief of the paper.

Since the initial reaction of the racist personals at our meeting last Wednesday, I have since spoken to many people on the issues at hand. The Medium exists to entertain the university as I have said before in my editorial box. Last week I quoted our constitution saying we exist to entertain the university with our paper, and I believe that is exactly what we have done. We exist to entertain the university through satire and comedy, not offend the university or support racism.

Something I have been very vocal about is how I have always wanted people to contact me with any concerns or problems or questions. As this situation has been serious I have received quite a few emails on the subject and I wanted to thank the many who have emailed me supporting the paper and asking how they can help support us. For those who have done so, I thank you for showing your support and will let you know how you can help us soon. For all of those who have emailed me with your negative feedback, thank you for your complaints, they will be read and considered.

I believe with our open forum we have planned we will be able to accomplish much through an open dialogue. I don’t like to end essays or articles with quotes but I’m ending mine in one from the Targum that we, the Medium disagree with wholeheartedly:

“Many protesters said allowing a forum in which people can voice any opinion is dangerous and can lead to an unsafe environment.”

Ever since Bo Derek trotted her bony ass out of the water in cornrows, white people have had the awful idea that it looks okay. I see them everywhere, on models, on girls walking down the street, hell, even on guys. Cornrowing isn’t just a hairstyle; it’s a tradition, and sometimes it can even be an art, which is why I ask that white people don’t pervert it, and once again take something away from brown people.

“Becky,” got her hair cornrowed while her family was on vacation in Jamaica. Three days later, her whole shit was fucked up. Let’s ask ourselves why…

1. If you have stick straight, ultra thin hair, your hair will look like ass in cornrows.

2. White people don’t understand the concept of sleeping with a silk scarf on…Ever wonder how black girls can keep a hairstyle looking nice for so long?

3. The curlier your hair is, the better it holds a braid. White girls, please take note. After you get your hair braided (even though I suggest you don’t do it at all), in a few days you’ll see hair creep right out of those braids, and when you do, TAKE THEM OUT! It looks awful.

4. White people’s hair gets really greasy, really fast. You secrete a lot more oil from your scalp, because you come from Whiteland, up north. Brown people’s hair doesn’t get greasy on its own, because in Africa (and other places where brown people live), people of the sun don’t need to clog their pores with oil to keep warm. Long story short, if Becky keeps that bullshit in her hair for more than a week without washing it, it’s gonna be stringy, greasy, and ugh, smelly.

The same can be applied to locking the hair, also called dreadlocks, and, in white people’s case, shitlocks. Just because you want to appropriate the Rastafarian cause doesn’t mean you need to lock your hair. Again, the curlier your hair, the better it holds. Ever wonder why you have to do that much work to get it to lock up? It doesn’t want to, that’s why! I swear, I see white people putting gunk in their hair and twisting it every hour of the day, just to coerce it into 7 or so shitlocks, scattered unevenly around your head. Do you ever wash it? Are there little woodland creatures inside it?

I used to be opposed to silly white girls going to islands and paying exorbitant amounts of money to get tight ass cornrows and beads just to look like they went somewhere. Now that I think about it, though, I support it. Go on, Becky, pay the lady $50 for a style that’ll last 3 days. If it gives her money to put food on the table, keep it movin.’

I’m not saying ALL white people can’t try these styles out. If you have a Jew-fro of some sort, it might not look so bad. But as for the rest of you, stop and think about how your ridiculous ass will look.

It’s not a black thing, it’s a matter of doing shit that your hair just doesn’t want to do.

Come to the Medium Meeting, tonight at 9:30 PM, Beck 003, and see what all the fuss is about! In keeping with the theme of exploiting The Man, all white men in attendance can

Retraction: Last week’s article about Miss Afghanistan was

redeem this coupon for a FREE SPANKING from the Black Female Opinions Editor...or you can just submit to me

written by Troy Crowder, not Mike Wyzard. My bad...

by sending shit to Opinions@themedium.net, but that won’t be as fun!

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Irish German French Portuguese English Scottish Dutch

Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12

Cover by: Ned Berke

Norwegian Swedish Polish What’s Shakin

MEDIUM

CONTENTS

Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor GMG Editor Arts Editor Faculty Advisor

Michael Stanley James Cortina Ned Berke Aija McKenzie Jim Cortina Daniel Migliore Paul Simpson Jeff Buechner

Personals Editors Michael Stanley Steve Toboz Photographer Steve Toboz What’s Shakin’ Editor Larry Cheng Online Editor Chris Holt Advertising Manager Ned Berke Staff Artist Pat McRoch Senior Editor Aija McKenzie

THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. THE MEDIUM is paid for by student fees.

Submission and business deadline is noon, Sunday. The office of THE MEDIUM is located in the SAC Cubicle N. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM SAC Box 78, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903. This issue’s dedicated to defeating The Man & uplifting our people.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

“Cause I’m a big fucking jerk, that’s why.”

Retorts to Whitey

By Nedaka Berkoo Fo’ this week’s column, I, Nedaka Berkoo, a brother-in-arms against the honkey-ass white man, will be tryin’ somethin’ diff’rnt.

As you can see, I am writing in white text on a black background.

You see, text is a tool. And for too long, text has been black, representing the way the black man has been used as a tool by the white man. We shall not take it anymore. From now on, text is gonna be white – because the black man ain’t gonna stand for this racist oppression. It’s time for the white man to pay.

This is gonna be big, y’all. It’s gonna be real big. We gonna turn shit around with this. No more are we gonna have to be exploited through our color being used in writing. No more will we have to be oppressed through text. It’s our turn to balance things out. You with me?

Go to the store and buy some black construction paper, and some white-out pens. These are the new writing utensils.

No more using black ink, which may as well be the blood of the broken black man. Sho’ nuff, you don’t even need to be black to do this.

Every man, woman, and child of every race (other than white) and religion has been oppressed by the white man. They get markers and draw in yellow, for you Asians. They draw in red and brown for you Hispanics and arabs. But now we will use them to write with.

Come on brothers and sisters, let’s show ‘em what it’s like to be used.

It’s not just text. How about roads? Enough of black being driven all over and trampled. Lets make roads white! And blackboards. Why is something black bored?! Why black ties to signify a somber, formal event! Let’s save black for the fun stuff!

So remember:

WRITE RIGHT, WRITE WHITE!

Editorials

In Advance Of The Pope’s Death Part II -TheStew More than twenty years ago, Pope John Paul II escaped death after being shot by a Turkish assassin four times. The pontiff was not meant to die in his pope mobile that day so long ago. Now, twenty-two years later, the Pope suffers from numerous ailments, most notably Parkinson’s disease. With so many concerns over the future of the Catholic Church and how to cover up the Vatican’s NAMBLA membership, so little thought has gone into how to make the Pope’s final year here on earth a pleasant one. I offer these suggestions to the Vatican.

1) Lift the celibacy rule for at least the Pope and a few select Cardinal’s, after all “It’s good to be the King”.

Even if you cannot allow the Pope to have sexual intercourse, at least give him a blowjob, it’s not really sex.

2) Require dancing at all masses. The Pope is a real mover and a shaker with his Parkinson’s disease affecting his every body part. So take note of the brand new dance.

You sit down in a big chair, hang your head over your chest and slouch over to your side. Shake uncontrollably and then raise your hand every few hours.

3) Let the Pope get a new whip. Have Jesse James at Monster Garage create a new Pope Mobile just for the pontiff’s final year. I’d start with a Cadillac Escalade and my only suggestion would be that it at least have a set of heavenly 26-inch dubs.

(now say THAT three times fast...-Ops/Ed)

On Peeing, Underwear and Sinks;

by Gary Higgins

Like most men, I don’t wash my hands after I piss. ‘Why?”, you may ask. In short the answer is that my dick isn’t dirty. I’m not a dirty hippy but I don’t share this bizarre and absurd fascination with a cleanliness that borders on sterility. After I touch my leg or shoulder I don’t run off to the sink and scrub my hands clean. The same thing goes for Russell the Love Muscle. While my balls may sweat and get quite funkified – and they do believe me– my dick, generally speaking, does not. After nasty sex or perhaps some quality self-abuse, of course, it requires a good washing. This quality cleaning is delivered only on an as needed basis but is in addition to the regular washing that the rest of my body receives. On a recent trip to the bathroom I objectively examined just how much I touch my Fuck-Stick whilst pissing.

Surprisingly, I barely came in contact with the One-Eyed Wonder Worm at all. How is this possible? I am not so well-endowed that he just busts out of my jeans like a pent up anaconda. I hardly, however, have to even touch it; I sorta just guide it with two or three fingers and then return to it to its lair, zip-zip. And since I don’t wear underwear I needn’t go fishing around my crotch to liberate him either.

This brings me to the next topic: underwear. I only wear them in times of need and so should you. “Why?”, the inquisitive reader may be asking again. Because I don’t fucking need underwear. Unless you dribble on yourself when pissing or have trouble wiping your ass effectively you don’t need underwear either. Times of need include when it is fucking very could out, (hence the expression, “freezing my balls off”) or when I am forced to wear uncomfortable pants like rough jeans or wool pants. In these cases I only wear boxers and never those jockey style pieces of shit. Tighty-whiteys are bad for your manly health, period. If you don’t know why I’ll tell you but you shoulda paid attention in High School Health class. Your ballsack tries its best to regulate its temperature. Why? Because all your manly juices, (testosterone, sperm, etc), are best produced in a small range of acceptable temperature. Your balls move closer or further from your body depending on how much warmer or cooler they decide they need to be. (Who would of thought that old Harry Nutsack is smarter than you? Me.) When you constrict and restrict those poor motherfuckers to that white straightjacket you limit your own manliness both figuratively and literally all the while increasing the funk and sweat associated with your scrotal area. Underwear should come with a warning label: Warning: this undergarment you make you funky, and not in a good way, all the while decreasing your manhood.

Enough about balls and cocks, (if you wanna hear more you are probably an ugly chick or gay), let’s move onto my last subject: whizzing in sinks. Now this might not apply very much to short guys but as a tall man one day, many years ago, it occurred to me that the sink is a perfect target. I know I am not the first person to consider this unusual option but hear how it happened to me. One day you bust into the bathroom badly needing to piss. And as you stand there and start to undo your zipper it occurs to you that the sink is at the perfect height to become your own personal and subversive urinal. Your own private, executive urinal even.

You glance over at the toilet and consider bending over, (what a pain in the ass), lifting the sometimes really nasty and disgusting, lid and seat, (cause god knows you gotta put up the seat too or the chicks will bitch, bitch, bitch), and then relieving yourself into the boring old bowl like you have done 100,000 times since you were fucking two. Or you could break radical new ground and piss right here into the sink. You glance back over at the herpes, syphilis and AIDS ridden toilet seat and then back at the sink. No contest. So you piss into the sink and it is great. No fuss, no muss - just pure pissing pleasure. So much better and so much simpler, really. And you don’t have to waste ten gallons of fucking water every time you need to take a whiz. Instead you can spritz what is essentially water anyway with about five or ten seconds of tap water and your done. Then, if you clean freaks are lucky, maybe since I am already there, I’ll rinse off my hands. But probably not. The problem, however, is once this becomes a habit it doesn’t stop. So my fellow college bathroom goers I have compiled a list of sinks I have pissed in - simply to freak you out. Please keep in mind this is only a college list; I travel a lot and 24 of our 50 states have had some of their sinks de-virginized.

College Ave Campus- You aren’t safe anywhere! I am pretty sure I have tagged every men’s, handicap and unisex bathroom in every building (except the girl’s bathrooms but don’t tempt me.)

Douglass-(is this a campus? I don’t even fucking know.) Only Hickman Hall and the music hall so far.

Busch Campus- had one class there in some shitty building not worthy of my urinal discretions or memory so you are pretty safe but don’t make me come over there just to desecrate you.

Livingston- I don’t go near that shit-hole. Isn’t it a community college anyway?

So the next time you open a door, use a stair rail, hang on while some drunken bus driver careens onto George Street or ask a stranger to borrow a pen think of me, the creepy old man on campus, not washing his hands.

Next time: I rate some Restrooms on the College Ave Campus

“That shit ain’t funny, my momma was a black man.”

NEWS NEWS

The Medium’s Medium Interviews: Ralph Ellison Hexagonal!

By: Nene Yeah!

We hired a medium to get in touch with the spirits of two dead poets to see what they had to say about the Medium, the issue of species, and the apple worm that Dan found in his pear. Below is the interview with Ralph ELLISON. The Medium: Ooow, the spirit of Ralph Ellison! Knock yourself out with the rum if you’re here…sorry, knock three times if you’re here.

Ralph Ellison: Knock, knock, knock!

The Medium: Who’s there?

Ralph Ellison: King Arthur…Who did you just call, you idiot?

The Medium: (to the Medium editors in the room) Who the hell asked for King Arthur? I called Ralph Ellison.

Ralph Ellison: (to himself) This is going to be painful. (To the Medium) Alright, it’s me Ralph. Where is the rum jug?

The Medium: Do you really drink?

Ralph Ellison: You believe that I can knock on hard wood, why don’t you believe that I can drink hard liquor? Let’s make this brief, shall we? Question!

The Medium: Do you read the Medium?

Ralph Ellison: Yes. Chris Rock sometimes scans some pages for me and sends the digital format.

The Medium: So, you’re current with the news that some people, whose dark color I won’t mention, want to see the Medium, not me, THE Medium, shut down. What’s your take on that?

Ralph Ellison: Now, personally, I find the Medium hilarious. I often get stomach cramps laughing. With the Medium it’s always An Extravaganza of Laughter. You ignorant white folks may not know this but some years ago I had written an essay, An Extravaganza of Laughter, where I talked of laughing barrels…of how, after endless years of accumulated suppression, black folks would suddenly start chuckling at a random joke and then chuckles would turn into unstoppable laughter and it would be so contagious that the whole block would be rising up and down with laughter and this extravaganza of laughter would become unbearable for the white morons around that they would finally put each laughing negro in a barrel so to contain this manifestation of their oppressions absurdity and put it out of sight and sound. Now it sounds like the blacks are trying to do the same to the Medium, which makes the situation all the more absurd.

The Medium: How about the worm in Dan’s pear?

Ralph Ellison: Gotta go! I think another medium is calling me…I have to go knock knock.

The Medium: Thank you so much for your insight, Sir. Come again whenever you wish…But, hey, that was our last bottle, bring it back!

Come to a Medium meeting. Tonight at 9:30 in Beck Hall room 003. The white man stuck us all the way in the basement, in hopes that no one would find us.

Help prove them wrong. Come support us and our black brothers that they attempted to hide.

This space left black for my fallen homies.

Spill some Courvoisier or Old English on the “x”

X

Wednesday November 19th, 2003

The Medium’s Medium Interviews: Arthur Rimbaud By: Nene We hired a medium to get in touch with the spirits of two dead poets to see what they had to say about the Medium, the issue of species, and the apple worm that Dan found in his pear. Below is the interview with Arthur Rimbaud (for our loyal white trash subscribers who are most likely to be ignorant about him – here is a publisher’s brief introduction: Rimbaud is the great French (white) poet, who completed his revolutionary body of work by age nineteen, shattered once and for all the restraints that bound Western (White) poetry to the realms of reason, history, and tradition.

The Medium: Rimbaud: The Medium: Rimbaud: The Medium:

Ooow, the spirit of Rimbaud! Bang three times if you are here!

Bam, bam, bam!!!

Holy shit! Still vigorous, the French Bastard!

Thanks for the compliment.

Sorry, sir, didn’t noticed that you had already entered. We usually ask, “who’s there?” before admitting a spirit.

Rimbaud: Out with the formalities. The French had already annoyed the hell out of me with their bureaucratic non-sense.

The Medium: Do you read the Medium, Sir? It’s published in New Jersey. The blacks claim that the white trash lowlives publish it and the white trash thinks it’s the Jews who publish it. Bush suspects that it’s Saddam who publishes it to convey secret messages to his troops.

Rimbaud: That’ll do it. I don’t know who or what Bush and Saddam are but yes, I sometimes read the Medium. Not often though. There is funnier stuff coming out of France and Russia.

The Medium: Well, Sir, the Great Poet, what do you think of the Medium’s stance towards you whiteys?

Rimbaud: When I was alive, the whites were the most stupid hide-flayers and hay-burners of their time.

The Medium: Interesting take!

Rimbaud: From them I inherit: idolatry, and love of sacrilege – oh, all sorts of vice; anger, lechery – terrific stuff, lechery – lying above all, and laziness.

The Medium: Must have a curious effect on your self-esteem.

Rimbaud: I am well aware that I have always been of an inferior race. I cannot understand revolt. My race has never risen, except to plunder: to devour like wolves a beast they did not kill.

The Medium: Most interesting. How about the current times?

Rimbaud: Now I am accursed, I detest my native land. The best thing is a drunken sleep, stretched out on some strip of shore…I’m leaving Europe. The air of the sea will burn my lungs; lost climates will turn my skin to leather. To swim, to pulverize grass, to hunt, above all to smoke; to drink strong drinks, as strong as molten ore…I will come back with limbs of iron, with dark skin, and angry eyes: in this mask, they will think I belong to a strong race… I will become involved in politics. Saved.

The Medium: Hmmm…sometimes I feel like I’m losing the connection with you, Sir. I’m a bit lost.

Rimbaud: But orgies and the companionship of women were impossible for me.

The Medium: Dan, here, has a worm in his pear, Sir. Rimbaud: Not even a friend. I saw myself before an angry mob, facing a firing squad, weeping out sorrows they could not understand, and pardoning – like Joan of Arc! The Medium: So, you feel the Medium.

Rimbaud: ‘Priests, professors and doctors, you are mistaken in delivering me into the hands of the law. I have never been one of you. I’m a real nigger now. I belong to the race that sang on the scaffold. You brutes: you are making a mistake…’

The Medium: How about some rum? Ah, but Ralph Ellison stole the bottle.

Rimbaud: Ah, that nigger genius! I am a nigger. You are fake niggers; maniacs, savages, misers, all of you. Businessman, you’re a nigger; judge, you’re a nigger; general, you’re a nigger; emperor, old scratchhead, you’re a nigger: you’ve drunk a liquor no one taxes, from Satan’s still. You’re all fake niggers. This nation is inspired by fever and cancer. The best thing is to quit this continent where madness prowls, out to supply hostages for these wretches.

The Medium: Good bye, Sir, thanks for your time.

Wednesday November 19th, 2003

“Send news articles to news@themedium.net.”

Study Finds: White Men Do Have Smaller Penises By: Lamar Jones Staff Writer

NEWS

“White People Racist,” says Area Racist Massive Irony Surge Kills Hundreds By: Martin Babitz Staff Jewbag NEW BRUNSWICK- In a rare Friday press conference, RC student and noted racist Douglas Reyes expressed his disdain for “racist” Caucasians, a statement that immediately caused reality to collapse upon itself under the massive weight of irony.

“Ladies, Gentlemen of the community. I bring you together today to shed light on the racism that occurs daily in our streets, on our televisions, and yes, even in some of our homes. This racism is a blight upon our fair University, as well as our nation, and I say to its perpetrators: ‘White People, knock it off.’”

This is the average size of a White Honkey Penis. Superior race indeed!

Tuskegee – A study released last week revealed that Whitey has smaller penises than us black men. The study measured the penises of 3,000 White men, and two malnourished black babies. The babies penis length averaged 6.2 inches, while the honkeys averaged 5.9 inches! Stupid cracka! Your penis isn’t even as big as a black baby’s.

The study also showed that the white man does not know how to sexually satisfy a woman. Not even a white bitch. Ain’t that shit funny? It’s no wonder that white women love the black cock. It’s bigger and more pleasurable.

This is not good news for the Honkified majority either. If white women flock toward the black cock, eventually there will be no more white babies. That’s good too. No more white babies means no more white men. We shall overcoooome!

This statement was immediately drowned out by a chorus of screams, as whole groups of people began to spontaneously combust, or in more severe cases even implode. “Holy God,” said maintenance worker Pete Fisher, as he picked bits of the class of ’05 out of the bushes. “We’ve been cleaning this up for three whole days now, and we’re still working on it. I’m still rolling over what he said. ‘White people are racist’ - I mean just the contradiction alone-” Fisher then collapsed to the ground, suffering a massive embolism.

But Reyes himself was unapologetic. “This just goes to prove another point of mine. That words have within them the power to hurt people. What the students need to understand is that until the poisonous barbs of racism are wiped from this earth, they will never know true freedom. They will be bound for hellfire eternal, just like the homos, Jews, and Asians.”

Sexy paraplegic chicks baring all! Hot to trot women withan odd number of appendages!

Where can you see all this? The Medium Meeting, Tonight (Wednesday) 9:30 Beck 003!

* This advertisement paid for by the spilled blood of our brothers and sisters at the hands of the White Man. *

GMG

“Kill Whitey!”

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003

MEDIUMOLOGY Aries

March 21-April 19

I admit, it’s one of your many admirable qualities: You are direct and say whatever is in your mind. It makes things a lot simpler. But this week, my friends, you might not want to do that. Hold it shut ‘till some sensitive idiots get over themselves. Apparently even a small dosage of free speech has nasty side affects for some of us, whose color, race, religion, or ethnic origin I won’t mention here. Whites are exempt. Curse them!

Taurus

April 20-May 20

You’re not easily bothered. As long as we don’t take away your favorite couch and your remote control. So this week won’t be a complicated one even if you’re white. Just turn the volume up a bit. If you’re not white…no, I didn’t say anything…calm down, man…oh, shit…police, police!

Gemini

May 21-June 20

Although you are obsessed with being fair and detached, can we agree, for this week’s sake, that all white people are vile, wretched creatures, a disgrace to the humanity! All of them. There is white trash and that’s all. No other stratum. Staten Island stinks with them. Bury free speech there as well. What’s the use of it anyways?

Cancer

June 21-July 22

You would appreciate that free speech is the most despised aspect of our society this week. Why? Because sensitive people, like most of you cancerians, can’t bear it. The Medium actually never practiced free speech.

Funny Speech is what we try to practice but some of us fail to sound funny or some of our readers fail to distinguish between humor and white people’s fart. Can’t blame them though, at the Medium, sometimes both of them stink for a sensitive, self-righteous nose.

Leo

July 23- Aug. 22

Of all people, you should know that we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously. Greek gods don’t. Despite your clumsy pride, even you can make fun of yourself. Gracefully. You might encounter some people, especially Libras, making profound comments such as “…and all these Asian people at the campus, they don’t have to study hard at all and still get good grades cuz they were born so frickin’ smart in their retarded asian countries.” You might wanna advise them to change their majors from Cosmetics or Athletics to Genetical Engineering. Gen. Eng. is dead easy. That’s why they get good grades.

Virgo

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

This week, it may be the time to make a move on that brilliant idea that you had once come up while cleaning your intestines. Wasn’t it something about writing a humor book, a collection of funny white trash joining the army stories? I have a tip for you on the sequence to that book: A Collection of Funny All Colors Trash Buying the Weapons Whiteys Produced.

Libra

Sept. 23- Oct. 22

A wise friend of mine once said, “I always think of conceited sick white people when the word Libra is mentioned. So skillful at comprising beautiful

Driving Game of The Week: Cracker Hunt Aight, so here’s the deal. Go out in your ride, and get your boys to do the same. Start driving.

Find the nearest cracker, and run his pasty white ass down. But it’s not that easy to beat your friends. A bitch cracker is worth 10 points, and one of them small-dicked guy crackers, that’s 10 points too. A cracker in a wheelchair, that’s 15 points.

Drunk slut crackers, they’re only 5 points, cuz there’s so many here at RU. Old crackers are 20 points, and little crackers are 5, cuz they’re all small. Blind crackers are only 5 points, cuz they can’t see you coming, and deaf crackers can’t hear you, so they’re the same. Cracker cops are 50 points. Crackers eating crackers are 100 points.

This very fun game can be played by anyone, any time. You can play by yourself and try to get the highest one-day score. You can play on road trips. You can play drunk, stoned or sober. The important thing here is that you kill some goddamn crackers!

lies and shallow arguments of hatred just like white people.” I don’t know what the Cosmos had in mind when it came up with you in the middle of the zodiac but “Die, Cracker, die!” That’s all I’ve got to say.

Scorpio

Oct. 23- Nov. 21

Attention all white Scorpio poubelles: you insecure, suspicious, sinister, sadist, creepy, egocentric fucks you…it’s you who come to our meetings and threaten us with a cocked up tail to stop “offending” your sensitive souls, ain’t it? Well, this country would have been a much better place if you miserable white corpses weren’t around moaning and whining every time someone said, “You whites…”

Sagittarius

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Of course, your birthdays are coming up, and you wanna celebrate it.

Wildly. Couldn’t expect any less from you beasts. But please remember that there are many other ways than acting “just like white trash” when having fun and/or drunk. But if you’re determined to do so, find an unfortunate white trash, preferably from South Jersey and with bleach blond dyed hair, and burn him in front of the city hall after having lashed him fifteen hundred times. To memorable birthdays.

Capricorn

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

I once was at the shore one summer night. It was the scariest and most disgusting sight ever. I was terrified to see all those young white New Jerseyians walk around, mindless and directionless with loaded testosterone and estrogen. Each one more frustrated than the other with their suppressed sexualities. Edinburgh’s Freaks Festival is nothing compared to a summer night down by the Jersey Shore. Where do you think that Marquise de Sade got his stories? Read him again, you’ll see…It’s no mystery that you mischievous goats love spanking.

Aquarius

Jan. 20-Feb 18

Make the correlation blueprints of the following two situations: Suisse government bans its soldiers from entering a neighborhood in Bern. The neighborhood is highly frequented by skinheads and is apparently dangerous for the Suisse soldiers! Preventing confrontation! Several student organizations at Rutgers, severely suffering from the lack of viable and relevant agenda and action program, decide to invest their valuable time in confronting a humor magazine that doesn’t even take its own editors seriously, while avoiding resistance against nation-wide institutionalized racism and injustice.

Pisces

Feb. 19-March 20

Frankly, though, think of the wretched souls in Dante’s Inferno. Don’t we all automatically assume that they are all blancos? Blue-eyed albino devils? No wonder why wherever those whiteys land turns into hell - then we celebrate with turkey massacres: Thanks Redman…Show me your mouth…Oups, stuffed a knife down your throat instead of turkey breast - oh well, I guess the land is mine now since I was the closest person to this dead red…thing.

Pisces, we ask you of your endless compassion for those souls in hell…but you gotta determine which souls in which hell.

Craft Night - Picture Board -TheStew Here’s an idea for all you college guys with a free night and not much to do besides drink unproductively. The following will be a how-to guide for a fun filled creative orgy for your dorm room. The first thing you will need is the ability to procure both alcohol and women. Once this critical part of your planning is complete you can move on to accumulating the following list of items.

1) An arms length size cork board 2) Enough Wal-Mart cheap cloth to cover the cork board 3) Maybe ten or more yards of ribbon 4) A staple gun 5) Padding Once you have invited your lady friends over for a night of drunken crafts you will spend the next three hours putting you and your guy friends productive efforts toward A) figuring out how to put together the picture board and B) how to get the crafty girls into less and less clothes, nudity being the final objective.

Why might you do this? The obvious answer is to get girls naked and drink beer.

But young grasshopper, you fail to see the true glory of this college fun night. You have just used your naked drunken labor to produce a commodity that girls find “oh so attractive”. What is that commodity? Thoughtfulness. The next day you take that picture board and give it to your girlfriend, or special friend as a gift with a few nice words and you will be a god, and if you give them the right squinty look, you may just become their Johnny Depp for the night.

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003

“Cracka ass cracka.”

Features

Rental Retards By: The Stew Let’s face it; mentally challenged peoples are only good for one thing: our entertainment. That is why my entrepreneurial mind proposes that a service be offered much akin to any well-respected escort service. Through this service, retards will accompany the customer to whatever events the client pleases.

Just imagine how cool you would be with your own mobile source of shameful entertainment. These rental retards could escort you to birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, Wal-Mart grand openings and the christenings of small ships. Also, keep in mind the line cutting privileges at Wally World.

Of course, not all rentable retards cost the same amount. Just as Cinnamon is a bit more pricey then Candy because she gives better head, so to, some slobbering morons are going to cost more then others, and not because they give better head. (Unless that is your thing, and then I’m sure you could rent the dumbest of the dumb and tell them your mushroom tip is a mystery-flavored lollipop.) Below I have listed my initial offering to the public for two of my favorite special people.

Mikey- This kid is a real treat. Mikey came to me at the age of 11. His parents felt I was their best hope to let Mikey bring joy to people, because frankly, he was making their life hell. A bed wetter since birth, Mikey has an uncontrollable urinary tract.

Embarrassed at first, his parents tried disciplining him with a variety of self-help type books. These punishment techniques increased in severity until, when he diagnosed with an extreme case of ADD, his parents just let him try and find his own way to happiness in a three foot by two foot closet in the basement hallway. With only a small Jesus nightlight and a box of sour patch kids slipped under the door every few days, Mikey developed a wide variety of tricks he could perform with his liquid waste. This

amazing little boy can shoot a stream of piss four feet in the air straight up, catch it in his outstretched hand and let it bead down his arm, across his back and then cup the urine in his opposite hand. I can’t tell you what other amazing golden stunt’s he can perform, but rest assured, this kid can entertain. Mikey is billed at $200 for two hours or $450 for an entire gig up to, but not including a 5 hours. A case of Poland Spring water and three rolls of Brawny will be provided with rental.

Frank- This man is your ticket to picking up chicks at the wickedest of nightclubs and bars. Frank is what I like to call an uncontrollable mover and shaker. You may recognize this man as the character sitting on a park bench rocking back and forth, but let me tell you, you’ve never seen him bust a move. You put the music on and this party animal will cut a rug and break the ice for you at your next club destination. Think of all the scenarios.

1) You’ll always look like a better dancer with Frank around.

2) You’ll look like the greatest guy, showing Frank a good time, what a sweetheart!

3) You can always make fun of his crazy dance moves, and if your date doesn’t care for handicap humor, then move onto the next girl, cause I bet she doesn’t like it in the ass either.

4) No matter how drunk you get, you’ll always look sober next to Frank 5) Frank will never cock-block you, just leave him at the club, we’ll pick him up in the morning.

Frank is $650 for an entire night.

Inquire about our other special people at 732 555 NOIQ. We should have two new escorts next week. Lisa (with Tourettes) and a schizophrenic teen who hasn’t told me his real name yet.

By: Dan Migliore Here’s the problem, my friends. We got all these crackers talking bout how Jesus saved them, they have Jesus in their life, they fucking love Jesus. And all those cracker-ass crackers are thinking that Jesus is some pasty skinned, California surfer-dude looking peckerwood himself. But that’s not the case, my brothers and sisters. Jesus was in fact a black man, but that’s not what whitey would have you believe.

Whitey stole Jesus’ true nature, that of a black man. Whitey wanted Jesus all to himself, and all those little honkies out there across the world. But let’s look at the facts.

In Genesis, Chapter Eleven, Verse Ten, the genealogy of Chem is laid down.

Chem, a descendant of Adam and Eve, was a black man living in Africa. In Genesis 14:13, Abraham shows up. Now, as a descendant of Chem, Abraham too was black. Now, Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob. Jesus’s lineage from Abraham to David is outlined in Matthew Chapter 1, and from David to Jesus himself in Matthew Chapter 3.

So if Jesus’ ancestors were black, how can he be white?

That’s where those peckerwoods in the Church stepped in. They covered that shit up, man, hid it from us, and the rest of the world. And so now, you got little Saltine-ass motherfuckers running around thinking that they’re praying to some blue-eyed devil. Bullshit!

All through the Bible we have this “Jesus was a honky” shit.

And I for one am sick and tired of it. It’s bullshit. I mean damn, even Moses was black. How do you think he passed as an Egyptian if he didn’t look black like them? Face facts crackers: Jesus was a Nubian God.

Do you civic duty: KILL A CRACKER!

Whitey Stole Jesus

Arts

“Don’t trust whitey, he lies and he lies and he lies…I’m not whitey, this is just a disguise”

Wednesday November 19th, 2003

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1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Born out of the Detroit Rock scene in the late 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1960s, MC5 (the Motor City Five) put out lots of good rock 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 ‘n’ roll anthems, such as “Kick Out the Jams”. However, in 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 light of the recent protest against the Medium, it is 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 important to examine their other cultural achievement, the 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 White Panther Party.

John Sinclair, their tour manager, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 was particularly involved, as he was the party Minister of 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Information.

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 “WE TAKE AS OUR HEROES THOSE THAT WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO HATE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 AND TO FEAR; ELDRIDGE CLEAVER, HUEY P. NEWTON, FIDEL. THE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 RED GUARD ARE OUR BROTHERS; THE BLACK PANTHERS ARE OUR 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 BROTHERS. WE JOIN WITH THEM IN THE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 LIBERATION OF THE PLANET.” (White Panther 10-Point Program; 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 July 4th, 1969.)

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 From the beginning, the White Panther party’s main 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 concern has been freedom. As the party’s original statement, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 released in 1968, explicates, “Our culture, our art, the 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 music, newspapers, books, posters, our clothing, our homes, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 the way we walk and talk, the way our hair grows, the way 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 we smoke dope and fuck and eat and sleep - it is all one 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 message, and the message is FREEDOM!” 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 I believe a good proportion of the Medium’s content 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 has been quite offensive and possibly hurtful, especially 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 the personals.

Nevertheless, preserving the freedom of 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 press is more important than ridding the comments that 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 induce arbitrary divisions among us.

You can never really 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 unite people by force, whether physical or metaphorical.

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 People need to be free, first, to truly come together.

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 Ever wonder why there aren’t any restaurants with a white people themed 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 menu?

Sure, you’ve got your mainstream places, like Chili’s, and even Friday’s, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 The contents of the White Panther Party’s 10-point 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 but they all have some kind of bastardized Italian/Mexican feel, along with south1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 program are as follows: 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 ern favorites, like fried chicken and ribs. You’ll never find what Joe and Sally 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Whitefolk eat for dinner every night, because it SUCKS. Just in case you want to 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1. WE WANT FREEDOM. WE 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 explore on your own, though, here’s a taste of my new cookbook, Cooking Done 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 WANT THE POWER FOR ALL PEOPLE TO 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 White.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 DETERMINE THEIR OWN DESTINIES. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 2.

WE WANT JUSTICE. WE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 White People’s Potato Salad: 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 WANT AN IMMEDIATE AND TOTAL END 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 6 Idaho Potatoes, boiled 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 TO ALL CULTURAL AND POLITICAL 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1 jar Miracle Whip 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 REPRESSION OF THE PEOPLE BY THE 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 2-3 sprinkles parsley 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 VICIOUS POWER STRUCTURE AND THEIR 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 MAD LACKEYS THE POLICE, COURTS, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Chop potatoes into 1sq. inch pieces, then place 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 AND MILITARY. WE WANT THE END OF 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 in large bowl. Add mayonnaise. Stir. Sprinkle parsley 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 ALL POLICE AND MILITARY VIOLENCE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 for decoration.

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 AGAINST THE PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 3.

WE WANT A FREE WORLD ECONOMY BASED ON THE FREE 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Honky Fried Chicken: 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 EXCHANGE OF ENERGY AND MATERIALS AND THE END OF MONEY. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1 whole chicken, cut into parts 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 4. WE WANT FREE ACCESS TO ALL INFORMATION MEDIA AND 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 ½ lb. Bleached white flour 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 TO ALL TECHNOLOGY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1 bottle canola oil 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 5. WE WANT A FREE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM THAT WILL 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 TEACH EACH MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD ON EARTH EXACTLY WHAT EACH 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Heat oil in skillet. Pour flour into a large 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 NEEDS TO KNOW TO SURVIVE AND GROW INTO HIS OR HER FULL 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 plastic freezer bag. One at a time, insert pieces of 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 HUMAN POTENTIAL. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 chicken, close bag, and shake, making sure to coat 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 6. WE WANT TO FREE ALL STRUCTURE FROM CORPORATE 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 each piece with flour.

Then drop chicken into skillet. Fry until brown.

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 RULE AND TURN ALL THE BUILDINGS AND LAND OVER TO THE PEOPLE 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 AT ONCE. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 Sense a pattern? No onions, garlic, and definitely no hot sauce. No 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 7.

WE WANT FREE TIME AND SPACE FOR ALL HUMANS 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 spices, no taste. You’d finish off this meal with some kind of tossed salad, prob123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 DISSOLVE ALL UNNATURAL 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 ably lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. Your salad dressing? Mayonnaise – that’s 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 BOUNDARIES. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 why some of the mayonnaise in the grocery store still says “dressing.” Who else 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 8. WE WANT THE FREEDOM OF ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE HELD 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 would eat it like that? Bon Appetit…

1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 AGAINST THEIR WILL IN 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 THE CONSCRIPTED ARMIES OF THE OPPRESSORS THROUGHOUT THE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 WORLD. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 9. WE WANT THE FREEDOM OF ALL POLITICAL PRISONERS 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 HELD IN FEDERAL, STATE, COUNTY AND CITY JAILS AND PRISONS, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 SINCE THE SO-CALLED LEGAL SYSTEM IN AMERICA MAKES IT 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY MAN TO RECEIVE A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 TRIAL BY A JURY OF HIS PEERS. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 10.

WE WANT FREE LAND, FREE FOOD, FREE SHELTER, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 FREE CLOTHING, FREE MUSIC, FREE MEDICAL CARE, FREE EDUCATION, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 FREE MEDIA, FREE TECHNOLOGY, EVERYTHING FREE FOR EVERY 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 BODY! 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890

MC5 and the White Panther Party

by Rev. Jonas S. Lemmingsson

Beg For Mercy, I Did Not A Review by Change for a Quarter

What is goin’ on my peeps.

Change for a Quarter (“Two bits’” for short.) is back again with a new review. As I’m sure you all know 50 cent (Fitty to his friends) has collaborated with Young Buck and Lloyd Banks to form their new group aptly named “G-Unit.” This album was just released yesterday and I had a chance to pick up my copy that very morning from the back some truck. I took it home and popped it into my un-stolen stereo. From the first track all the way to “I smell Pussy” It was nothing but the best of Rap. From a recent interview with the band, they say they’ve received most of their inspiration from the greats such as Falco, V-Ice, and the Sugar Hill Gang. You can definitely tell this from my favorite track “Gangsta Shit.” On an open forum diplocity1 had this to say about G-Unit “yo 50 is dat ni99a and Lloyd banks fuck dat young buck bitch he wack ‘the ice in mah teeth keep da cristal cold’ what the fuck is dat he wack he need 2 go back wit cash money”. Now, what this means I have no idea, but it was fun to read 17 times and still not understanding one word of it. However kimis25, a more literate writer published “the songs on this cd are tha shit and so is 50!!! He’s come along way and he’s doin awesome.” I say go out there now and buy this album, buy six or even seven; that is if you want a better chance to win your $12,000 spinner. In conclusion G-Unit’s “Beg For Mercy” gets a 7 out of 9 mm.

Cooking Done White: The Art of Caucasian-American Food

By Aija McKenzie, Opinions Editor

Wanna stir up some Controversy? Then submit to Arts… because he Prince everything people send him! Hooray for bad puns!!! Send all articles, reviews, etc. to arts@themedium.net and come to the Medium meeting tonight at 9:30PM in room 003 in Beck hall at Livingston. And also, listen to In The Building with Sam Figueroa, Monday nights from 10 to midnight on 88.7 WRSU, for the hottest hip hop joints. But don’t listen to the show after that, it sucks.

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003 i wonder if the skunk next door makes the same smell when i run it over as the skunk i ran over the other day dear my darling gobot...you are hot, love chalize theron

to christophery: it was really fun/scary driving the A6 up 287. i was too afraid to do anything and there’s nothing worse than a timid driver on the road, but i wanted to tell you thanks anyway. <3 carol

i [love] the medium. you guys are going [up]

“Goddammit, it’s 4:25AM!” viva la bam!!!!! my sister and i watched it and bonded! it was sooo funny! i’ve never laughed so much in my life! i can’t believe he beats up his family like that! holy shit! don’t feed phil! and uncle vito ate pigs eyes and a cigarette! ewww!!! hilarious!

2 munnings 2 many. a munning is a lemming. evan, people don’t eat on spatulas, they eat on plates. evan, stop drinking by yourself- that’s what alcoholics do. jesse, do your work. it’s your last semester- don’t fuck it up. evan i like your haircut, tell butters to stop cutting it like george’s, you don’t want to look like a jackass. to ned who works on the medium- i really dig your eye brow piercing. i saw you at a meeting and i kinda wanna get to know you. there’s something intriguing about you. you seem really mysterious... i want to share my dildo with you... if you want to, respond to me via the personals.

dear stacy at 70, chill out. things will be ok. you need to learn how to relax! everything’s gonna be alright...

Personals Personals dear mason gross...i'm broke and unemployed...u suck anonymous

to stacy & evan: happy 1 year You are so ugly the last time anniversary! you got a piece of ass was to my roommates @ 131, when your hand slipped jungle lovin fever is goin wild through the toilet paper at our place! what’s up wit that THIS IS TO THAT REALLY yo?! it’s cool and all but... is it HOT BLONDE IN MY because once you go blk you MUSIC CLASS IN SCOTT don’t go back? i bet...

HALL... YOU ARE ONE DAMN HOTTIE!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE TYPE OF THINGS I WOULD DO TO YOUR AWESOME BODY. TOO BAD YOU HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO YOUR UGLY FRIEND EACH CLASS, SHE SCARES ME

This is to my rainbow brite of a hippie roommate. Stop playing your stupid ass hippie pure moods tribal shit and get your fucking beads off my side of the room. Every time you come into the room your quiefiness stinks up the place and I have to open all the windows to try and get the (i think i know who you are rotten tunafish smell out. Shove talking about, but then your damn beads up your again, everyone has a desig- crotch to stop all the fucking nated fat friend, now don’t quiefing you dirty hippie. they?) (i had rainbow brite sheets)

to that bitch ass girl on my floor with the asshole fuckbag that cheats on her all the time. drop him already!!! he’s a fat loser who uses you for your money, car, and nonexistent ass. yea sure, you’re the only girlfriend outa his friends ex-girls that’s still around but you don’t realize that the rest of them probably figured out what they were dating....white trash. so we bounced. do the same bitch. he ain’t nothing to cry over.

to my fat bastard roommate I EAT BABIES please stop giving yourself FOR BREAKFAST! pedicures and leaving your foot chips all over the fucking floor. all u [sad people] and It’s disgusting, and so are you. [depressed folk] out there, To the guy who dropped his take it easy u whining soap in the Clothier 3 guys’ bastards!...bottom line is that shower: next time you drop it, reading people make fun of you better make sure I’m there other people is funny (esp. to take advantage of the situ- those[clowns] makin fun of each other...good stuff)...does ation. Love, AssHammer. that mean i can sue [jim bruer] To the hottest girl on 4 makin fun of [elephants] Livingston: those naughty (ON NATIONAL TV)...”the (someone needs some lovin) breasts, those dirty, naughty medium promotes breasts...He’s watching you, [love]”...[god bless you]...u ya know... [compliment] the intelligence i love licking white balls.

I have had show turtles for the of ru students if u think we wud past four years, and I’ve go out and commit [love] never once put them in a crimes cuz of wut some show. I’m a friggin hypocrite. [intellectual] kid wrote in a [happy] paper...this aint mass One of the deans is gay! Can media [bubble blowers] its the you guess which one? Just medium if u dont wanna read it kidding, they’re all a bunch of then dont and [continue cock-sucking faggoteers! smiling]...u wud def increase Fuck those faggoty ass ur chances of havin [love] queers! crimes if u bring down the medium... p.s. [god bless you] The darkness SUCKS To the RWRFC: continue to FSU even though the season’s over - no slacking! Heeeeeeey yaaaaaaaaa....Heeeeeeeey yaaaaaaaa! You ladies better be out wreaking havoc on the streets!

(well put sir!)

To the [..] Bus driver of the EE bus, stop packing the bus as if we were all [fudge]. Its bad enough when seats are scarce and a fat bitch is taking up 2[4] of them.

haiku.. lives under the sea who lives in a pineapple i’m sponge bob square pants my left nut is green from eating pistachios the right one fell off

shown above is the truth that white people have no sense of dance. (exampled by the upper right folks with the star trek badges on trying to be stretch armstrong.) so do i.

Mary, yeah you from hell: get a fucking heart, why don’t you. to that fagshitter who got all our Get some fucking dignity while asses in trouble: when this is all you’re at it. You dropped like done, we’re gonna hunt you 30 weeks ago. Shave the down, kick the crap out of you, mustache, you fucking Chia press hot coals and salt into Pet. You are not Greek, so your eyes, and leave you for the darkies that came for us stop trying to be one.

SHOUT OUT to all my homies in the hood, yo. ONE!

Personals Personals

Nuclear Weapons. Because killing 13 or 14 for no reason just isn’t enough… dear medium members, you are the most racist people i have ever seen. Every week you write about how any other races besides whites are inferior. You piss down onblack people worse than R.Kelly pisses on a school girl. What about white people, or as i like to call them whitey.

You white people act like you are all cool. We as the african american community know you hate us and you think you are superior in every way. I once heard some white trash say, "Down with black power, they don't even take a shower."

Well we demand reperations for your miss treatment of the african american community.

“This page dedicated to white ‘contributions’” I think that America should honor the victims of the Columbine killings every year, and here's how: I suggest that every person with an IQ over 130 get a high-powered rifle and a 9 kill limit. Hunting season on members of high-school sports teams, cheerleaders, and bullies will run from April 20 to May 20.

(This is a good idea. While we are it, lets honor the victims of the Holocaust the right to hunt Germans and Japanese.

Hey, that’s actually not a bad idea, no bag limit…)

Since the Medium doesn't have any particular agenda, what's with all the protesting? The Medium shows a portrayal of Rutgers students, as I see it.

Does it bother you all so much that there's hate and racism going on at this huge university?

Keep in mind that a lot of the "racist" items are very sarcastic. Sure it's not pleasant, but why scapegoat the Medium for holding up a representation of some students? Actually it's more like they're representing the sense of humor of some students. As was said in Monday's Targum, if you want to see less racist stuff in the Medium, send in more nonracist stuff. If you don't see anything that amuses you, don't read it. Or write something that does amuse you.

(What you don’t understand is that students are not funny. Students are racist bigots that just want to Twinkies. Here is a nutritious spread hate without showing food if I ever saw one. their faces, cowards…) dear editor-in-chief mike stanley, you have reached a Personally, I'll gladly spend whole new level of funny. some of my tuition funding you're little articles at the be- something that makes me laugh ginning of the paper are so hi- and makes me glad that I live larious. the way you pour your in the US. The medium is for little heart out and get all seri- all of us, and I don't think you ous is so sad and pathetic that humorless bastards should be it keeps me laughing all day. able to take it away from me. what is this your final semester If you want to opt out with here so you are reflecting on your money, maybe it could be your past here at rutgers. here's a declinable item on tuition, like an idea how about you stop NJPIRG. Anyways, Free "gheying" up your paper and speech! start being funny like the rest Jeff Goldblum is watching you of your medium writers.with poop my utmost sincerity, your biggest fan (They are on to you…) to blue, the sexy guy i see on occasion at tillett, if youre ever looking for something to do (like me), ill be waiting for you in quad 2 baby.

I layed my eggs in my brothers stomach. They hatch in 15 Charles Manson. Yeah, he years. He is 14 years old. was white…

Spam. I mean, what kind of cheap bastard…

White people are just mad because they get beat in every sport around by black people and this is the only way they can try and get back at us. Well this and hockey, but who the fuck watches hockey (Only white people watch hockey. And Canadian white people that that. Have no fear that Minorities aren’t represented in that sport, no one will notice…)

I don't understand why certain individuals and organizations are protesting the Medium.

First of all, you're all taking it way too seriously. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Plus, it's not like there's some racist agenda behind the Medium. If the KKK were directing what gets published in the Medium, it'd be a different issue. But as it is, it's just a public forum, really. Sure, it's anonymous. But spend five minutes on the internet and you can find DOZENS of anonymous message boards.

(But remember, the Internet was “invented” by Al Gore, a white man. Hence all the cowardly anonymous racism…)

Benedict Arnold. A trader to his country, probably for money… what is different today or in 1700s. Nothing. White people are still oppressing black people. Like my brothter Jamal once said,"Whaz iz upz withs thats" to the thick chick that stayed over saturday night. Next time you come over, and ill i get is cheap feels, im gonna take a fuckin boot to the side of ye head. Slut.

Next time I get stabbed with a fork, ill hit you with more then a kendo stick

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003

This goes out to that fag "Big" on Rutgers shitty radio station.

You fucking suck. You make that fucking lame radio station suck like a RU whore on Thursday night. I bet you love talking into that mic pretending like its a big black cock that's all for you. Big huh, thats not what Kim told me!!

I like to think i'm an openminded person. I'm not racist against black people. I've had 5 black people over for dinner this past year. I even served corn bread and collard greens.Signed Hannibal Lecter P.S. Dark meat tastes better.

To the girl that wrote the novel on 211... thanks for the love.

You deserve a burger king crown!! You show dedication and commitment to your hateraid. Gold Star!

Richard Simmons. Enough Said.

LAST WEEK WAS BAD THIS WEEK WILL BE GOOD!!!!! The editor of the MEDIUM (who was not white as many may have thought) said that she only puts what people write out there and I felt as though THE MEDIUM ( the dynamic voice of the Rutgers community) needed some extra help in having a more mature and educated audience that would place something of more worth in its content. This personal is dedicated to all the beautiful people out there (black, white, Asian, gay... whatever you are), we all are different by virtue of our various backgrounds. I think as a community we should work on celebrating our diversity rather than insulting and perpetuating negative stereotypes about people. Take the time to get to know someone before you judge them. I would also like to say a special shout out to a special group "DA BEARS" you know who you are.... I LOVE YOU GUYS. Be positive don't be a part of the problem be a part of the solution. from :-ONE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN !!!

(This is true. We print what we get. Send us in what you want to read…)

Marilyn Manson. He is one confused white boy…

To the fucking whore in the clarinet sections of the RU Band. You don't belong with us decent people. Go join a sorority and get a fucking STD as Slutgers is full of them. That is the life you deserve. Or better yet, go back to high school where you belong. At least then I wouldn't have to see your fucking grody-ass STYE! What the fuck is that?! Herpes?! Fuckin slut.

(We have enough viral ridden sororities on campus; keep that whore in the band…)

How about these white people that go around acting like they are black. they act all tough and try to talk like us. This is just another way white people are bring us black people down.

They just bring a bad name to the black community by trying to be like us and doing a poor job. You might of grew up in the ghetto, but have you ever sucked a dick for crack. Yea, i don't think so cracker.

(I’m not touching this one...) to my dirtball roommate, you have the worst taste in women ever. the random sluts that you bring home each night are the ugliest and dirtiest pigs i've ever seen.go get a std test before your penis turns green and falls off. if you do you could have a new std named after you. how cool is that.

(Long as the chick ain’t got nuts, its all gravy…)

Send personals to personals@themedium.net Rutgers Football fucking sucks

Hitler. Took a white man to organize the deaths of millions for no reason…

Personals Personals To The Medium, It was fun until it lasted. I just wished people would not take The Medium so seriously. I don't know if this is the end, but it was an interesting 20 years. One more thing, I am really surprised that everyone started attacking the Medium even though this has been going on for years. I know that last year's medium had more racist jokes on Asians and White people. For some reason the Asian clubs and college Republicans did not fight back when this was all happenening. Just some Food for thought.

To the guys out there who bitch and whine all the time about their girlfriends: I can't get jack. You think things suck because your girlfriend makes you get off your lazy RUTVwatching ass and actually do something! Put yourself in my shoes. I haven't even frenched a girl in over a year and a half!

The only girl I ever had cheated on me for a month and is with that guy now, and he's 7 years older than her! By the way, the most I could get out of her was 2nd base, and from what I hear now she's giving it up every friggin night! I'm wasting the best years of my life with my hand. You pricks consider yourself lucky you have anyone at all. I'm horny and lonely every friggin day.

To the staff of the Medium, I laud you for your publication, and if you do lose funding, I will read it on the internet anyway.

Thanks for alot of laughs, and long live the Medium.

(Well thank you, but the paper isn’t going anywhere. Just keep reading...)

“Long fucking personals...”

If RU won't fund the Medium, let's sell all the niggers at RU into slavery to fund the medium. We could employ alot of those chink engineers and curry-munching math majors to figure out the cheapest way to produce the Medium (The Kykes would have to approve). Hell, we could get some river-niggers (mexicans) to run around and leave copies in the Student Centers. All the Pastyface crackers can die of AIDS cuz most of them are asscrunching faggots anyway. In other words, when I pick up the Medium, I don't say "Ohhh yeahhhh.. I hate those chinese people. Let's see how they made fun of them this week!"

First of all, if I did hate a certain ethnic group, yes I would be an asshole, but I have a right to say it. Do I watch Steve Harvey? No. He's a racist who makes millions of dollars making fun of white people, but I can live with the fact that he doesn't like me because I'm white. Dave Chappelle makes fun of everyone on his show.

Hence, nobody should watch it right? Nope. It's hilarious, and everyone I talk to thinks so also. Freedom of speech applies to everyone. Grow up and learn that there's a difference between hate and making light of a touchy subject racism. If anything, The Medium has made me hate everyone equally. You chuckle, you move on, and you don't look to your left in Death and Afterlife class and say "HEY YOU DYKE!!!

YOUR A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!" No. I have also made fun of every one of them because of there race and hoped to god they called me a potato and ketchup eating, beer swilling, siding and paneling hanging MICK!!

I hate hondas. All you fuckers that think you are the shit. Eat my twat. TWAT.

all the people using the personal pages as an outlet for hate: Get a life. There are other creative outlets you can use that wont hurt other people.

(Yes there are, but none that are read more then our (as I heard a protester say) To that sexy assed dude in my “pages of hate”…) spanish 201 class. Next time i Girls got boobs, guys have see you, i want you to jump my dicks. Some people smell, bones. O yeah, the girl that alsome dont. But the dude that ways wears the orange. Go just sat down def does... me...

(One generic response: Although The Medium does appreciate all the students that sent in Personals this week, you must understand that we couldn’t get to them all this week, but we will. Also, we would like to thank all the support we have received via e-mail. And to all those who have sent in personals against The Medium, we have tried our best to balance yours and the opposing ones, and like I said, we will get to them all. So write in and exercise your RIGHT to free speech.

Personals@themedium.net. And to really show your support, come out to out meeting tonight at 9:30 on Livingston (Beck, 003). Thanks again and keep on writing…)

this is for that stupid motherfucka up in allen busch .the puerto rican or spanish guy and im not talking about the sophmore or the exchange student im talking to you. y the fuck u always ice grilling me. cuz i dress better than you? think everyone gotta come from the ghetto to dress up u stupid bitch. you r one of those playa haters that get shot up. suck the dick of your gay ass roommate with the retarded face and glasses and shut the fuck up about what someone wears maybe youll live life better.stupid motherfucker i hate you wish soeone shoots you in the fucking face. hope someone shoots you in the fucking face u hater. yeah everyone knows ur a fag too To the cunts who bitched at the Student center, shut the fuck up! please do some real protests instead of a joke like the medium. Some things you could spend time bitching about: McCormack grabbing ass, taking away funding for RU Football, Rapes in Busch and Douglass, Rutgers Housing, Jews, Brower Commons, Gay Professors, just fucking do something REAL AND PRODUCTIve for once.

To the people who "protested", Sorry about the lack of White and Jewish personals. I apologize on behalf of my multicultural brothers and sisters for this lack of Whitebashing. We have heard your demands and we will make the right decisions. You cries of more White personals has been heard and we will honor it. Yes what you did was the right thing, we must end all hate speech on this earth.

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003 this goes out to all the racist bigots that use the pages of the medium for their personal verbal cross burnings. Im a freshman and i find most of the medium to be funny but the slew of racist comments towards blacks in the last issue went to far. first off why when your (the writers of the personals) mad at anyone other than another white person does their race play such a major part in telling them off. when its a white person their just a pussy or asshole but if their black they have to be a nigger or knuckledragger. these comments are not funny at all. in the case were people have a problem with others being loud why don't you be a man and address the people that's causing the problem instead of being a little bitch hiding in your room being scared. oh wait with dicks that small how can u tell if your a man or not. Don't worry they wont beat u up they have GPA's to maintain Stop using words that if i were next to u u wouldnt use. it sounds to me that your pissed because your finally realizing that your not superior to anyone and that everyone is truly equal. to the assholes spreading the STD rumors if anything we get the STD's from the easy white girls that fucked your infected ass first but wont go back to you because they cant find that little thing in the dark. lastly to the editors you made the comments about loving the racist comments towards blacks post this message and please give me and invitation to come over to livingston so we can have a talk face 2 face (Check your e mail...)

So did you hear? The Medium made the news. They called them bigots!

So I guess they are going to stop printing?

Who cares! I wanna fuck those controversial personals editors!!!

This is to the idiots who went to the rally against the Medium.

Fuck you. Racist propoganda my ass. Do you even know what propoganda means? It is a pursuasion technique to try to make you think the same way or believe in something that you normally don't. If you read the Medium hoping to emulate the attitudes of the people who write the personals, then don't read it. Your obviously too stupid to understand humor and are one of those people who would say the music made you kill people.

If it bothers you, dont read it.

No one is making you read it, it is simply a forum for people to exchange how they feel about one another, if "racist, sexist and homophobic" then deal with it, thats how people feel. You know what is in it so it is your choice to read it and your choice to take what it says to heart and be offended, and to those who do, I say grow up. You know the world isn't fair, don't pretend it is, deal with people's opinions because they are as allowed to have them as you are, so suck it up.

Articles are sent in by people of all ethnic groups/sexual practises/religious practises/ etc, directed at those who are different and who follow are a member of the same group. If anything it helps, in its own special way, of fighting racism through humor and making people realize how retarded the comments are that are being used to belittle people. Humor is a great tool to bring people together and to help them ignore differences. And so in the honor of humor, fuck you, you stupid dumbshit motherfuckers. You can make fun of anyone you want, by being hurt by the comments, your allowing the person who wrote it to feel superior, when in reality you can just respond and attack that person. It is an equal attack opportunity.

Don't be a little pussy, stand up for yourself and make fun of someone else, its the American Way. Pay for the Medium! I mean seriously, your paying for Rutgers to dig holes and fill them up again, to put cobblestone down where grass was, to fix things that were never broken, at least this expenditure is useful and helpful to the student body.

You guys are all bitter and a threat to the world. Stop with the hate and get on with your lives in the ghetto.

What’s Shakin’

“I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and Black”

So fuck you crackas, you’re not gonna keep this page down anymore. Last week the pussy that runs this page gave an inch to the white man who did the Arts page. That was it, I couldn’t let him give anymore to his white “masters”. So, I hijacked his page this week and I’m gonna be keeping it real for everyone fighting the good fight against this paper. I know I’m not the only one who hates all the crappy music that gets advertised here. Who the fuck wants to listen Barbara Streisand or the Strokes? So this week, before the man takes away the power I have struggled for on this page, here are the concerts that need to be advertised......

Comedy for the Black Man Sun, Nov. 30, 2003 at 7:00 pm-Bill Cosby at Ritacco Center, Toms River, New Jersey Thurs-Sun, Nov. 27-30-Paul Mooney at Caroline’s, Broadway, New York Fri-Sat, Nov. 28th-29th-Romont Harris at Rascal’s, Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Wednesday November 19th, 2003

Concerts for the Black Man Wed, Nov. 19-Scratch Tour: X-Ecutioners, Jazzy Jay, Qbert, Z-Trip at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, NY Fri, Nov. 21-Hot 93.7 Presents Hot Jam 3 W/ Jay-Z & the Rockafella Family at Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, CT Fri, Nov. 21-James Brown and Friends Seven Decades of Funk at Apollo Theater, NY Fri, Nov. 21-Naughty By Nature at The Downtown, Farmingdale, NY Tue, Nov. 25-Jay-Z at Madison Square Garden, NY Wed, Nov. 26-311 at Mid Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, NY Wed, Nov. 26-P Diddy at Roseland Ballroom, NY Wed, Nov. 26-Badfish-the Ultimate Sublime Tribute at The Downtown, Farmingdale, NY Fri, Nov. 28-311 at Convention Hall, Asbury Park, NJ Fri, Nov. 28-O.A.R. at Hammerstein Ballroom, NY Sun, Nov. 30-Harlem Gospel Choir at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, NY

Fuck, Jay-Z knows how to spit rhythms, get The Black Album and support this nigga He still lives...... go see Tupac: Resurrection

I gotta represent all the fine sistas out there too

Muthafuckin’ Chris Rock hates all the racists on The Medium

Send events to: events@themedium.net Look how happy Dave Chappelle is now that a black man is in charge

Where you gonna find 50 cent? You’ll find him in the........ Medium Meeting, Come and say your piece Wednesdays, 9:30 PM in Beck 003.

Cause like the Godfather says...... Say it Loud.