12/03/03

emo makes me so sad!

whee! this is funball! not football!

Opinions Opinions

“If this is torture, chain me to the wall!”

Fucking Shit Up: A Girl’s Guide

Defending the Medium By: Michael Stanley

eic@themedium.net

Editor in Chief

Recently there has been uproar on campus due to what has been considered as racist propaganda in The Medium. What has been referenced as the most offensive part of the paper has been the Personals section, a section that exists to create an open forum of discussion for the Rutgers Community, where students can e-mail in comments and they will be printed in our most common and controversial section. In our November 12th edition there were comments that were portrayed as racist remarks by the staff of the Medium; however the personals in question were submitted by students here at Rutgers University. Their identities are kept anonymous, however since the e-mails were from Rutgers e-mail accounts, the personals editors have access to who sent them. The e-mail addresses are kept anonymous and only revealed when asked by a proper authority such as the judicial court here at Rutgers. The reasoning behind not printing the e-mail addresses is encouraging free thought, and freedom of expression not free hatred.

One of the amazing qualities of the Medium is that the Medium is a paper run by the students, for the students, featuring submissions from the students. If we wanted to run a different paper it wouldn’t be the Medium.

We are running an “Entertainment weekly” while pushing the envelope as a free speech paper. When I say students are running the paper I mean that student submissions make up the paper, and if students are unhappy with some of the content in our paper, all they need to do is write something else to change it. If you feel strongly on an opinion piece, if you’re unhappy with the content of the Personals section, simply submit personals, ask your friends to submit them, you will be changing the paper because what you write will in essence be the paper.

As the Editor in Chief of the Medium I am always open to comments and always trying to encourage students to make submissions. Often after our weekly meetings I will say if anyone wants to speak about submitting, simply ask. I also am open to any comments on the paper; I feel that there is nothing wrong with saying that the paper is always interested in improving the content of the paper. I would like to thank the students who have contributed in showing their support for the Medium.

Telefund Sucks It, Big Time

by Aija McKenzie, Opinions Editress

Alright, I’m a broke ho, I’ll be the first to say it. There are times when my bank statement matches your GPA, and then it’s time to get a little desperate. Two summers ago, I was in that same desperate spot and decided to take on a second job and work the RU Telefund. I lasted one shift. The training is a big brainwashing deal where they try to tell you how important it is to donate to Rutgers, and how the Telefund isn’t telemarketing because we’re asking alumni, or some other homoerotic reason. So I figure I’ll do it for the 9 bucks an hour, how bad can it be? You guessed it.

What you do here, is sell your soul. They had me calling people who graduated in 1964. That means they’re like, 50-60 by now. We had to call them until 10pm. Old people sleep early, and get real ornery when you call them late at night, especially when they live in California, and it’s actually 1am for them. But these people don’t care about that. Supervisors are soulless, they’re already been overcome by greed, so all they care about is you badgering these people for money they don’t have. That one night I worked lasted forever, and it only took a 4-hour shift to make me realize that it just wasn’t worth it. It might be a job for you, but my mother taught me better than that.

Pass Rush TD FG PAT Time-out Tackle

Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12

Cover by: Michael Stanley

Sack Penalty Punt What’s Shakin

MEDIUM

CONTENTS Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

Bloody Hell: Your Period and You

by Aija McKenzie, Opinions Editress It’s good to be back to FSU; I’ve been so busy dealing with naysayers (read: traitorous whores and flat-out idiots) that I haven’t been able to get back to my lovely ladies.

What better way to get back into the swing of things than to talk about everyone’s favorite monthly pal, menstruation? As usual, there’s so much to say on the subject, so I’ll try and organize my thoughts. Before we can talk about it, we need to get real about it, and be open. It’s tradition to be so hush-hush about it, even to the point where people have made up dumb-ass names for it, like “Aunt Flo,” my “friend,” and the “curse.” So being reproductively healthy enough to bleed every month, let alone sustain a growing human being is a curse?…It’s such bullshit. I’m not gonna front and say that I jump for joy every time I start bleeding (unless I’m having the everso-fun pregnancy scare), but it’s high time we stop being so damn embarrassed about this.

Let’s talk about embarrassment. Remember, when you were about 13 or so, when you used to throw the box of pads into your mom’s shopping cart and then run away? Or when, if you needed pads and it was an emergency, you’d go to the CVS, get the pads, and have to get something silly like candy to deflect the attention away from your “feminine protection?” I remember having to go into that damn aisle, and I tried to scan it at rapid speed to just get what the hell I needed and get out. Maybe it was because we were thirteen and therefore really shady anyway, or maybe it was just me being chickenshit, but now that most of us have been bloody girls for at least 5 years, we need to realize that it shouldn’t be an embarrassment if over half the population will/does/did bleed at some point.

Stand in front of the tampon/pad aisle, compare prices, get what you need. Somebody sees you looking? So what? You really think that people care about what’s going on in your uterus? It’s silly.

Also silly is the price of these things, it’s downright sexist, and in my opinion, the Douglass Student Center should hand them out like the Womens’ Center hands out condoms (and lube, check it out).

Whatever product you choose to use is up to you. I’m a tampoon girl myself (yes, tampoon is what I like to call it - it goes in your poon, right?) just because I’d rather not feel every individual drop of blood ooze out…yes, vivid, but like I said, we’re getting real. There’s a whole load of alternatives, but I couldn’t do those either. Washable/ reusable pads, for instance…I don’t do laundry enough; they’d be chilling in my room for WAY too long. Those cups that hold the blood?

Tried those, when you attempt to take it out, your hands look like Lady MacBeth’s. And don’t laugh while you have one in, that little cup will shift, then it’s Roll, Tide, Roll.

Anyway, whatever you want to do is up to you, as long as you keep your shit sanitary. I’ve seen it in freshman dorms, especially, and I will express what goes on in a lot of girls’ minds when they open the stall in the freshman floor bathroom and see someone’s blood on the seat, or maybe a nice used maxipad looking up at them. Girl, you have been bleeding for quite some time, it’s time to get your shit together. If your mother never told you how to take care of yourself during this time, ask someone to help you. Hell, even a female RA anything’s better than being trifling with your shit. Respect yourself and your period by learning how to deal. Be proud of your body and everything it goes through. For example, instead of lugging your big ass backpack to the ladies room, take out your tampon and stick it behind your ear like a Philly blunt. That’s how you can fuck shit up.

Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor GMG Editor Arts Editor Faculty Advisor

Michael Stanley James Cortina Ned Berke Aija McKenzie Jim Cortina Dan Migliore Paul Simpson Jeff Buechner

Personals Editors Michael Stanley Steve Toboz Photographer Steve Toboz What’s Shakin’ Editor Larry Cheng Online Editor Chris Holt Advertising Manager Ned Berke Staff Artist Pat McRoch Senior Editor Aija McKenzie

THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. Submission and business deadline is noon, Sunday. The office of THE MEDIUM is located in the SAC - Cubicle N. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM SAC Box 78, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903. This issue is dedicated to not being morally responsible for anything. Nope, nothing at all. VIVA LE MEDIUM

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

A Letter to the Rutgers Students and Faculty Recently a letter from President McCormick (regarding The Medium) was sent to students and faculty via university email accounts. In this letter, President McCormick denounces the paper and its staff for having poor taste. The remarks are regarding the ‘recent’ controversy of racism and offensive speech in the paper. I would like to take this space to remind the Rutgers community that The Medium is an open forum and that it is obligated to print what is submitted because it is a Free Speech publication.

What any student or faculty member chooses to place in this publication will have an effect on other people, good or bad; however, it is not the role of The Medium or of its staff to control what is said or how it is received.

The Medium makes the bold commitment to enable every student to have his or her voice heard regardless of whether any single member of the staff agrees with it. I am appalled that President McCormick feels that he has the right to look down upon the editors/ The Medium based on things written by members of the Rutgers community itself. The staff follows the organization’s guidelines and the ‘poor taste’ which is being spoken of is not in the direct control of its members, it is in the hands of whomever chooses to write for the paper. Every person at Rutgers is invited to send contributions to the newspaper and to attend the meetings in every issue. This means that if one doesn’t like what is in the paper, (s)he can put something in that (s)he wrote.

The poor taste presented in this situation is that of newspapers and reporters taking The Medium out of its context and presenting it as a megaphone for racism. It is the poor taste shown by our accusatory President, whose personal life brings more embarrassment to Rutgers than a publication that opens itself to all ideas without the safety net of censorship.

As long as there is free speech, there is the possibility that a person or group will be offended, but which shows poor taste: offensive language, or the way President McCormick is treated. What happened when he ‘bumped’ into an off duty policeman’s car? What would have happened if you had been followed by the police to be pulled over ‘glassy eyed’ after this incident? What about the juxtaposition of press coverage he received after being mugged as he left a liquor store and the concern put forth in regards to similar crimes the rest of the New Brunswick community is subject to as well as more violent ones, including rape? I don’t know a single person who has come to Rutgers or thought highly of it because of our President’s ‘taste’. However, I know several people who have looked at The Medium and chosen to come to Rutgers to become a part of the paper and many more who have admired the university for allowing such a publication to exist.

I would hope in the future people take the time to understand what The Medium is before they speak about it, and I hope that our President reconsiders what poor taste is before hastily pointing his finger away from himself.

-Ryan G. Beckman, former Editor in Chief of The Medium

Sexy Polygon says: Bring your fine ass to a Medium Meeting! Tonight at 9:30, Beck 003. If you wanna be Super Sexy, submit articles to Opinions@themedium.net for the last issue of 2003!

Out with a bang bang bang, baby...

“Suck it!!!”

Editorials

What The Fuck is Free Speech Anyway?

By Publius As many of you know by now, controversy erupted over a set of personals published in this paper a couple weeks ago. The personals were intended to be funny, but instead were taken as racist and highly offensive. Several groups have called for the disbanding of The Medium, or at least that student fees aren’t used for its funding.

People were offended by what was published and that’s good.

They fucking should be. What was written was offensive. And racism should not, and cannot, be tolerated. And in retrospect, it was probably in poor judgment that they were published. However, it was The Medium’s right to publish them. Because, like racism, censorship cannot be tolerated. This country was partly founded on the ideal that I can tell you that I don’t like you and to fuck off. It’s my right. It’s also your right to tell me the same. But it is not your right to tell me, or The Medium, what to say or publish. Instead of whining, get involved.

Become a writer for The Medium and write “appropriate” articles yourself.

Lobby your college’s governing association and make your voice be heard. Hell, join the governing association and make a fucking difference yourself. Start a group that works to end racism in a constructive manner. Start your own publication to counteract The Medium. But do something!

To answer the question posed in the title of this editorial, free speech is the right to think, speak, and interact. But with that right carries a responsibility to back up your words with action. So say what you want. That’s free speech. But also get involved and take action.

That’s putting your rights to good use.

DAMN YOU WEBREG!!!

By Brittany Mendenhall

Ahhh yes, by now we have all registered for the Spring 2004 term, even us lowly freshman. I thought it was all going to go well. I used scheduleagent.com. I went to bed at midnight and set my alarm for 6:15am the following morning so I could get the classes I wanted.

I actually woke up at 6:15am when I had an 8:30am class. It all should have worked out perfectly, right? Well if you don’t know the answer to that by now, where the hell do you go to college?

The thing that pisses me off the most is that I took AP classes in high school so I could avoid this kind of nonsense.

Registering one day early does not do a damn thing for you. Had I known this I would have saved myself $80 times however many classes I took, but I digress. I’ll start by saying that scheduleagent.com is a kick ass site. But I will also say that it is only cool until all the classes you picked are full. Now what the hell are you supposed to do? Oh yes and that is not the only problem. Tell me, why are all the 101 classes full? If you’re a senior and you still haven’t taken your requirements to graduate, that’s too bad for you. Don’t screw up my chances of getting out of this school in four years! I’m graduating on time whether Geology 101 is full of fifth years or not. My scholarship is only good for four years and my sponsors don’t give a damn that webreg sucks ass. Freshman should seriously register for requirements before upperclassmen. When you’re a junior and a senior, you should be in classes for your major. And if you’re not, again that’s too bad for you! (Freshman babies…seniors get that tiny privilege because we’ve been taking it in the ass for YEARS - it’s the least Rutgers can do - Ops/Ed) Don’t fuck up my schedule. I do not want to be taking Topics in Mathematics for Liberal Arts majors in the Spring 2007 semester.

Oh, and why is it when I checked the classes at 12:30am the sections I wanted were still opened, yet when I went to add them at 6:25am the next morning they were full? No better yet why was it open when I was typing in the index number, but by the time I hit add it was full? What kind of fast ass computers are people using these days and where can I get one? Will someone let me know please!!

So now I am seriously screwed. Like RU screwed in a very uncomfortable place. I’m stuck taking 5 classes with one day off, when my schedule agent made me seriously think I would only have class on Mondays and Wednesdays. I have four classes back to back to back to back on not one, not two, but THREE different campuses.

I HAVE to take damn Geology of the planets and whatever nonsense it’s called. I have two ultra feminist classes on Douglass that will turn me from a frat boy lover to a full fledged lesbian. Oh and did I have to mention that twice a week I either have to go from Busch to Douglass or Douglass to Busch in the time span of 20 minutes?

Impossible? Yes. But can I and will I do it? Hell yeah. I told you nothing will keep me from graduating on time. Not EE buses or lesbians, or super seniors in my world mythology class. I am a Rutgers student! I can do anything!!!

NEWS NEWS

“Kathleen Considine, quit your whining. What are you, bi-polar?”

Wednesday December 3rd, 2003

Rebel Alliance Takes Over RSC By: Evil Larry Staff Asian #4 Hexagonal!

New Brunswick - LastYeah! night, the Rebel Alliance moved their base from the planet Endor in a violent takeover of the RSC. Shouts of “Down with the Imperials!” were heard as far as Stuff Yer Face where I was getting shitfaced with my friend Jack Daniels. I obtained an exclusive interview with Captain Wedge Antilles of the Rebel Alliance in the ensuing chaos regarding the war and the RSC takeover.

Me: Captain, why did you choose the RSC for the new rebel base?

Captain Antilles: Quite frankly, we were getting sick of the previous bases. Hoth was just too motherfucking cold. Like, my balls kept getting frozen during the missions there. And god, the bantha smell. The place was really starting to smell like bantha shit. If the Imperials hadn’t driven us out, I’d have done it myself.

Me: And Endor?

Captain Antilles: Oh, great planet…if you like these fucking furry little shits all over the place. If I had a blaster shot for every time those Ewoks started singing and dancing spontaneously….

Me: Okay…next question…so why did you guys choose the RSC? Captain Antilles: Well, quite honestly, it’s just more comfortable. We figure the Emperor won’t come after us if we blend in with the locals. Plus there are the girls all over the place in the day. I’d like to show some of them the cockpit to MY X-wing. Also there’s the Wendy’s, Gerlandi’s, Subway and other places to eat right downstairs. I’m sick of eating military food. God I hate those Ewoks…I hope Endor gets blown to pieces with them on it.

Me: Thank you for your time. Any last comments?

Captain Antilles: Fucking Imperials telling us what to do. We’re offering a 10,000-credit bounty for each Imperial commander you take out. More if you can get the Emperor or Darth. May the Force be with you.

To get the other side of the issue, we went directly to the Emperor on his mobile space station.

Me: What about the accusations that the previous space station was a WMD known as a Death Star?

Emperor: Jedi mind tricks. We are the Empire and we stand for unity between planets.

It’s just rebel terrorist propaganda. They are the ones with WMDs with their “Force” powers of mind control.

Me: Well, what about the destruction of Alderaan?

Emperor: It’s still there.

Me: Look, matey, I know a dead planet when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Emperor: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable planet, Alderaan, idn'it, ay?

Beautiful location!

Me: The location don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Emperor: Nononono, no, no! It’s resting! (hitting radar) Emperor: It’s still there. See? On the radar. There, it moved!

Me: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the radar!

Emperor: I never!!

Me: Yes, you did!

Emperor: I never, never did anything...

Me: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That planet is definitely deceased, and when I saw it not 'alf a year ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk….

Emperor: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Me: ‘E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This planet is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PLANET!!

Emperor: Well, I'd better replace it, then. Sorry Larry, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of replacements.

Me: No, I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to pursue my line of enquiry any further as I think this is getting too silly.

Upon the end of my second interview, Rebel forces came and destroyed the mobile base along with the pet store owner…I mean…the Emperor. I barely escaped with my life and ask you now to join me in grieving for the construction workers aboard killed doing their jobs.

Evil Larry has written such memorable pieces as “Where Did Your Girlfriend’s Underwear Go? Maybe Next Time You Shouldn’t Leave Them on my Bed, Stupid Roomate” and “Hockey: 100 Years of Glory.” Sometimes he drinks all the milk in the carton and still puts the damn thing back in the refrigerator. But how can I stay mad at a face like that?

News Briefs!

Livingston found dead by Students.

On Friday night at approximately 12 a.m., 34 year old Livingston was found dead by local students searching for excitement. Apparently Livingston had been dead for hours, and no parties involved have yet to be found. The cause of death appears to have been a self-inflicted gunshot to the head, but police have not ruled out foul play. However, students around Livingston in the past week had noticed him complaining that "No one cares about me" and "I'm so empty inside." No one really cared.

RIP Livingston b. 1969 d. 2003

Another Reason to Make Fun of Art Students -Mr. O’Live Last Friday, Students at Budapest’s University of Arts had mistakenly admired a year old hanging corpse as a modern sculpture. The building had been closed for the last five years for renovations and was just reopened, when for more than a day students and faculty believed the body of a many who hanged himself at least a year ago was a work of art.

Moo! Send me news articles. Maybe next week I’ll be able to come up with something funnier than this for a submission blurb. If you don’t send me articles this week, you’re fucked ‘till next semester. news@themedium.net

Wednesday December 3rd, 2003

“Learn to drive, morons.”

Did someone say “Boobs”?

NEWS

New Improved Homeless People Smell Worse Than Ever By: Mr. O’Live A new report announced Monday reveals that based on current trends; by the conclusion of 2004 homeless people will stink twice as badly as they did in 1994. The research group conducting the study spent many hours sneaking up on homeless people while they slept, to sniff them and determine how much they smelled. These local statistics have shown that the New Brunswick homeless are actually amongst the top five worst smelling groups of vagrants in the nation.

An increase in homeless population has caused overcrowding under the Albany street bridge, which makes utilizing the scarce resources available for housing and sanitation even more difficult. This overcrowding has been generally attributed to the poor New Brunswick economy combined with the extremely high cost of living in the area.

Another identifiable cause has been the radical increase in pollution levels.

The banks of the Raritan River have always been a favorite place for New Jersey homeless to maintain a bare minimum of hygiene, but its recent horrible conditions have turned even the dirtiest people away from even attempting to bathe. Those who ignore the conditions under impressions that it’s still cleansing often end up smelling worse off than before their bath. Across the nation the results are similar with many of the causes believed to be the same.

As a plea to the community, the next time you are bored and cannot think of anything to do, buy a super soaker with your parents’ credit card. Then head down the path just before the Albany Street bridge and give back to your community.

No? I’m sorry, I must have heard wrong.

Mr. O’Live swaers that that is not his name, that the shirt really said Mt. Olive. We, however, know better. There is no such place as Mt. Olive. We don’t really know why he wouldn’t want us to know his name though.

PARK-TRAN TICKETS 9 YEAR OLD BOY Sexy paraplegic chicks baring all! Hot to trot -Mr. O’Live women withan odd number of appendages!

Where can you see all this? The Medium MeetFlanders, NJ – Justin Hawking Jr. received a summons this past ing, November Tonight 28, (Wednesday) 003!$275.00 Friday, 2003 claiming9:30 that heBeck is indebted to the Rutgers University Parking and Transportation Services.

The most peculiar part of this is that Justin is only nine years old.

The University insists that if he does not pay these fines, they will put a hold on Justin’s transcripts, prohibiting him from being promoted to the 4th grade. When the Park-Tran Offices were questioned about how these fines were traced to the child, they announced that the 1993 Toyota Tercel at fault exactly matched the description of one of the “Hot Wheels” cars owned by Justin. With such an identical match (without regards to scale), there is no doubt that he is responsible for the fines, according to the University representative. Understandably so, Justin’s father is very upset about the ordeal because of the impossibility of the situation. Obviously, Justin is not responsible for these fines and he should not be penalized for this misunderstanding.

When asked to comment, Justin claimed that he could not have parked his car there, as his car’s rear passenger side wheel broke off during a sandbox incident over this past summer. The university claims that the car’s description does not quantify the number of wheels present on the car in question. Justin’s father is currently threatening to seek legal action against Rutgers University if the dispute is not cleared up by May 2004, as Justin is determined to be placed into Thursday Gym class, which may not happen if he cannot register on time. When asked for comment, all Justin had to say was, “I like Gym, it’s better than Art. Art sucks, but not as much as Social Studies.”

God I love redheads, especially naked redheads. I hope the boobs on this page have helped fill the void in your life. Now keep up your end of the bargain and come to the Medium Meeting. Tonight, 9:30 Beck 003. Unless we get 9,000 people again, in which case we’ll be in the Beck Auditorium.

“Ode To A MILF (Mom I’d Like To Fuck)” by: Alexander The Poet They’re as old as my mom, Except they all look very hot These ladies are the bomb, And at least one kid, they all got They’re Moms I’d Like To Fuck And these moms, they’re pretty damn cool I dream my cock they’d suck, While their children were all in school!

These mothers may be old, But damn, who the hell cares, so what?!

I guess truth must be told, I jerk off to them MILFs a lot!

They don’t need to be married, If they are, well that sure does suck All they need is one kid, To be a Mom I’d Like To Fuck!

The Party By: Mary Jane from Girl Scout Troop 420 It’s 10 am on sunday I stumble out of bed The kitchen STINKS of sauerkraut But the floor is all sticky and red Surveying the damage done here helps me to recall what I did the past three days I only know they were off the wall The pink pants I rocked for my birthday stained and tucked away under a pile of beer cans, blunt wrappers and other remnants of those who came to play.

Then I see the glitter that revives the night before a corrupt girl scout with a friend from the 80’s pot and booze abundant, and all we wanted was more.

Images of Indiana Jones stopping traffic on courtland with his wip as I ate my cookies and brownies, before the Knight Club concluded our trip.

I’ll try to bring up Thursday that was fun as well but I only remember the shots i took at 9 before I awoke on friday feeling like HELL THANKS FOR A GREAT 22

Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time

Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003 “I got so high, I scratched ‘til I bled.”

GMG Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time

Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time Poetry Time

Things to Use When You’ve Run Out of Lube By: Mr. O’Live So you’re right in the middle of having sex with your special friend and you go to grab the KY Jelly, Astroglide or whatever your lube of choice is, when you realize you used the last of it the night before. With only a half hour remaining until your roommate comes home and your special friend hopefully willing to take it in a special place, you need to find something quickly. In no particular order, here are some common dorm room items that just may get the job done...

Laundry Detergent (the kind without bleach, trust me on this one...)

Pudding Hair Gel (you can style your pubic/ass hair while you’re at it) Spit Placenta (hard to find, but well worth your trouble) Motor Oil Butter Vaseline/Baby Oil (though Petroleum/Oil based products degrade latex in condoms) Transmission Fluid Crisco Ambesol (numbs too in case you are with a non-Rutgers student who doesn’t have a loose asshole) Mayonnaise Semen Denture Adhesive (extremely slippery, especially in the beginning) Nickelodeon Gak Head and Shoulders (contains a menthol product that gives an extra tingle) Milk Icy Hot (a personal favorite) Waffle Off Bacon Grease Baby in a Blender (enough said...)

Not all of these items are guaranteed to be safe for either person so use them at your own risk. Hopefully coming soon, weekly reviews of these items and actually lubes. Keep a look out for them, or better yet, come to the Medium Meeting Wednesdays 9:30 Beck Basement.

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

“Have a mint, sir. It’s wafer thin.”

Booty Call Advice By: Britney Cole Question: How do you initiate a proper booty call, and how would you go about keeping the booty call alive?

Response: Okay, I won’t lie, sometimes, girls want ass just as much as boys, okay, so most times we want it just as much. With that in mind, fellas, you have a good chance at getting that booty call you so desperately desire, if you play by the rules: 1.

It is a request for booty, no need to beat around the bush (and I only mean that figuratively) but don’t be an ass when initiating the request.

Ex: “Come here. I want ass” “Hey, you horney?”

See? Right to the point, but the second one just has a nicer ring to it.

2. Don’t leave time for chit-chat, that’s not why I came and it’s not why you called, but it’s a turn off if you are completely rude. If at all possible, avoid having your smelly roommate(s) around, but if we do encounter someone you live with on the trip from the door to your room, “Hey, that’s Steve, this is Britney,” isn’t all that hard. Then let’s go at it, there will just be awkwardness if I have to talk to you or your hairy roommate very long.

3. Let’s face facts, sex is great exercise and you wouldn’t be calling me if you didn’t think we’d be working up a sweat during this little get together. Be nice and go get me a drink of some kind when we’re done. I’ll need to be refreshed if you want a round two and I don’t care to have a half naked encounter with anyone you live with in attempts to cool down before getting it on again.

4. I don’t want to deal with your emotions. Don’t tell me how you feel unless it’s regarding just how damn good I am in bed. Talking dirty is fine, but don’t tell me you love me we both know it’s a lie. Bringing feelings into the equation will just ruin what we have: free ass with no stings attached.

5. If I see you outside of our evening together a smile and nod will suffice. If I wanted to introduce you to my friends, you would be a friend not a booty call. You are obviously the backup, not the first choice. I don’t want to be with you so I feel no need to really see you anytime but in bed.

Tune in next week for the Pre-Booty Call Contract.

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Features

Some words of advice to all those horny freshman guys. (the ones who are actually getting ass) -Ivanna Humpalot With all the hype about the sluts, STD rates, and binge drinking, a prospective Rutgers student would assume the freshman dorm some sort of heavenly orgy-ridden dwelling. Now that we’re all moving on towards the end of the first semester, we’ve all bore witness to the more then disappointing truth. At Rutgers, there is no proverbial “ass for every seat,” as my mother would say. The bottom line: guys who are rude, dirty, and treat girls like they owe them a blow job for telling them their pretty are most likely not getting any ass. But, the few and far between who do not follow the mentioned qualifications of an assless-wonder, could apparently use some helpful words of advice. I myself would know, being a girl living in the bazaar territory we call Tinsley. No, I don’t have a chip on my shoulder, I do get ass and I’m not ugly (but no, I do not have big boobs which does put me at a disadvantage).

Regardless, I’ve witnessed and personally experienced both good and bad sexually oriented interactions. So let’s get to it.

1. Girls HATE when guys blow up their spot. Let’s not forget that in this fucked up society that we live in, a guy who hooks up with 4 chicks consecutively is The Man, and a girl who does it is a skanky whore/nasty bitch/dirty slut. Don’t go around telling people who you’ve stuck it in, cause if you plan on doing it again, this won’t help your chances. (and please note: when you’re stumbling in sloppy drunk at 4am, and we have a class at 8:10, things can ever so conveniently be remembered, even if previously ignored.)

2a. Girls resent shady guys. They will have more respect for you if your honest and you say, “I’m not looking for a girlfriend” or “I don’t want things to get too serious.” (That in no means should be interpreted as it being acceptable to refer to a girl as your “ho”, even if that’s exactly what she is. Keep the comments to yourself, you ingrates, they’re not getting anyone anywhere.)

2b. The flip side of this is the guy who wants to pretend he’s all into you, when in actuality he’s doing your friend, your friend’s friend, and some chick who likes it up the butt or some shit. It’s nice to be nice, but not that shitty fake nice. That’s just mean. So give it up.

2c. Don’t make plans with us if you’re not gunna follow through. We’d rather know straight up if you’re not gunna hang out rather then sit around and wait like we have nothing better to do. That is really annoying.

3. Now let’s say your lucky enough to have an understanding chick who is accepting of the fact you hook up with other girls. No matter what you may think, they will NOT appreciate you telling them when/where/how you two did it. You’re better off just keeping those extraneous sexual interactions to yourself, they’re not boosting anyone’s self esteem, or your image as a “nice guy”, either.

4. Girls appreciate some form of consistency. Nothing is worse for a girl then when you’ve made her think you have a mutual understanding, just so you can come around numerous consecutive nights and then go days without saying hi. Its just ass guys, what are you getting flacid? It’s not hard to make that small effort to stop by or say “Hey, what have you been up to?” It’s not like there’s a mandatory follow up make out session or some shit like that. So stop being gay, ok?

5. Lastly, let’s not forget who really has the upper hand here. Ever notice how much easier it is for a girl to get ass? There’s a reason for that.

I hope that some of this advice will sink into those of you who it pertains to. I understand this is not relevant to many, but to those who feel it is, keep these things in mind. Believe me when I tell you that experience has shown me (at least with me and my friends) that following these simple guide lines will not only make us happy, but will make you very happy in return. Unless, of course, you’re just a total dick, which is quite possible.

Random Boobs!

Medium Meeting. Tonight. Beck 003. 9:30. Need I say more?

Arts

“America can, must, will, and should blow up the moon.”

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Box Set Review by The Volcano Worshipper 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Yes, folks, the holiday season is already upon us. Lights and trees and 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 plastic Santas are popping up everywhere, and cheesy adult contemporary 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Guided By Voices - Hardcore UFOs: Revelations, Epiphanies And Fast 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 stations that yr parents listen to are already playing nothing but shitty Food In The Western Hemisphere (Matador Records) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Christmas music.

Fortunately, Rutgers’ own Icelandic exchange student has 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 taken time from his busy schedule of watching Bjork DVDs to submit a list I literally just received this in the mail a few hours ago, so obviously I haven’t had 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 enough time to give this a full review… but I’m too excited (and, um, lacking in 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 of hipster-approved Christmas songs to play at whatever ironic Christmas 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 content) to write about anything else right now. This is my early Chanukah 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Eve drinking party you go to this year. Enjoy!

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 present to myself, basically. (Thank god for eBay and Paypal!!! What would I 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 do without you?!?!) So basically, this is the ultimate GBV retrospective, and it is 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 a worthwhile investment for anyone who appreciates the band. It includes 5 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 audio discs, a DVD, and an 80 page booklet. The audio discs consist of: a “best 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 of” collection (which has also been released separately, with a $10 list price, and 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 The “Hipster Aðfangadagur” Mix 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 is highly recommended for anyone who understandably isn’t willing to shell out 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 $60 or so for the whole thing); a disc compiling B-sides, compilation tracks, 7"s, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 1. Q and not U - Snow Patterns 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 and other rarities; a disc of previously unreleased tracks, demos and outtakes; a 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 2. The Kinks - Father Christmas [put this one on 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 disc compiling live performances representing every lineup of the band since it 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 repeat! Ray Davies is Jesus!!!]

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 began touring regularly in the mid-90s; and the first-ever CD issue of the band’s 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 3. Atom and His Package - What We Do on Christmas 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 impossibly rare first EP from 1986, “Forever Since Breakfast”. It’s interesting 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 4. Modest Mouse - Jesus Christ Was an Only Child 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 listening to their earliest stuff and hearing how much the band tried to sound like 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 5. Weezer - The Christmas Song 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 R.E.M. and other American college rock bands, whereas their later stuff sees 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 6.

Kevin Devine - Splitting Up Christmas 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 them trying to sound like The Who, and how Bob Pollard adopted this fake 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 7.

Mogwai - You Don’t Know Jesus 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 British accent that is completely absent on the band’s earliest stuff. The DVD is 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 8.

Gus Gus - Is Jesus Your Pal? 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 an expanded reissue of “Watch Me Jumpstart”, the band’s 1995 video 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 9. Neutral Milk Hotel - King of Carrot Flowers 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 documentary, featuring all of the band’s music videos, plus tons more live stuff 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Pts. Two and Three 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 and short films (this DVD is also being released separately). The requisite full12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 10. The Who - Christmas 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 color booklet contains a chronological set of photos and essays, starting with the 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 11. Belle and Sebastian - I Don’t Love Anyone 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 band’s first demos and gigs in 1985, and continuing to the present day. This may 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12. The Polyphonic Spree - Section 9 (Light & Day) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 all seem excessive if you aren’t familiar with the band, but to anyone who’s been 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 13. Mineral - The Last Word is Rejoice 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 following them, it’s rightly deserved. After all, this is a band who has released 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 [hidden track] Mariah Carey - All I Want For 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 over a dozen albums, countless singles and EPs, and played hundreds (maybe 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Christmas [irony is hip!!!]

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 thousands) of shows since the mid-80s. In fact, this is actually the band’s third 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 box set: 1995’s Box reissued the band’s first four (five on the vinyl version) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 If you think this mixtape has not much to do with 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 albums, plus a disc of unreleased tracks, and three years ago, the band releases 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Christmas, then make a better one, asshole. After 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Suitcase, which contained four discs of completely unreleased material. All this 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 you’re done being an asshole, you should go buy 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 would mean absolutely nothing if the band’s music wasn’t so damn amazing. I’m 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Los Straitjackets’ Christmas album.

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 still amazed at how Bob Pollard can continue to come up with so many 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Love, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 memorable melodies and such strange, cryptic lyrics, and just never run out of 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Jonas!

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 ideas. Of course, the sound quality of most of these recordings tends to be on 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 the rough side (not atypical of most of the band’s work) and this is certainly 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 something that really only hardcore GBV fans will be interested in… but, well, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 it’s worth becoming a huge fan for. Otherwise, the single disc best of (Human 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 Amusements At Hourly Rates) should be enough for anyone who is just curious 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678 about the band.

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An Uber-Hipster Icelandic Christmas Playlist

By Jonas Sebastien Lemmingsson

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So, the last few weeks have been quite interesting for all of us here at the Medium. As the Arts editor, it’s also quite humbling to know for certain that I have the single LEAST read page in the paper, because not once has anyone commented about or mentioned this page or asked me for my opinion on anything. That means I have a cult status or something! I’m so hip!!! Actually, I’m pretty disappointed, because I think that the mere existence of an Arts page in this paper should show that by giving people the opportunity to express a wide array of ideas about arts and culture, we are a culturally aware and diverse publication, written for and by the people. If you don’t like or don’t agree with or aren’t interested in the stuff that I talk about in my page, or anyone else talks about in the rest of the paper, then that should only be motivation for you to send in something that you DO want people to read about. So send something in!!! Submit Arts stuff to arts@themedium.net, come to the Medium meeting tonight at 9:30PM at Beck 003 in Livingston, and listen to the Volcano Worshipper’s Hour every Monday night (and probably many more times during Wintersession) at midnight on WRSU 88.7 FM. Or else, um, the Samurai Pizza Cats will fuck you up. Remember that show? It was fucking awesome!!!

FREE SHOW AT DOUGLASS STUDENT CENTER THIS FRIDAY!!!! RAINER MARIA!!!!!!

WRSU!!!!! DON’T MISS IT!!!!!!!

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FREE show at the Douglass Student Center. Headlining will be Rainer Maria, who have released several albums on Polyvinyl, one of which was named as one of the top 20 albums of 1999 by Spin magazine. Their newest album, Long Knives Drawn, has also gained some attention from MTV, who has used some of it as background music (according to my little sister, who is a fan of the band). WRSU brought them to Rutgers a few years ago, and their return is widely anticipated.

Opening the show will be three excellent local bands: Sparks Fly From A Kiss, who have been receiving national distribution and attention for their self-titled EP on Ambiguous City, and play an engaging brand of spacey indie rock (think Spiritualized meets Built To Spill); Crayon Rosary, an interesting band who uses toy instruments (!?!?); and Zelda Pinwheel, an absolutely stunning psychedelic/experimental/rock/electronic band that I’ve played on my radio show a lot. I’ve heard that Risk Relay may play also, or instead of one of these bands, but I’m not sure if this is true or not.

Regardless, this is a FREE show for all Rutgers students, and it happens this Friday night, so please show up and support local independent music!!! And as always, listen to WRSU 88.7 FM, Rutgers radio, every day!!!

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003 to that stupid fat ugly fuck in my painting class, why don’t u stop wearing those hideous clothes and start dressing in real clothing. people really need to learn how to dress and it isn’t too late to start in your 20’s.

to cheezi, why do you have to annoy the hell out of me when i’m trying to do some work. i love being with you but you gotta stop moving my fucking mouse goddammit!! wtf! guess what? it’s almost time. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

To my life-sized Mr. Bear, Get better quick so I can take advantage of you already!

Having you helpless just makes me want to jump you more. I promise to wear my school girl outfit so we can go christen Fuck YOU RESNET WHY your dining room table once DONT YOU JEWISH [pitas] you’re better ;) TELL US ABOUT (that sounds like a girl i’d HALVING THE BAND- want to get in a menage a WIDTH LIMITS. FUCK trois with, contact me via the YOU MCCORMICK medium if you’re really hot.

FUCK YOU MCGREEVEY qualifications: b-cup boobs AND YOU PRIESTS OUT and a nice figure. ps i’m seTHERE! rious. -ch) (again, another message complaining about the inevi- To that dick of an A bus table... the RU Screw. It’s driver, Yo Ben Wallace! stop okay, we all have to suffer taking fucking 50 minutes naps in the middle of the from it.) student centers and get your To that dirty blond haired girl black ass to work! I couldn’t i see at the EE bus mon and get 2 the Grease and to Sam thurs mornings to and from Goody to buy my Enter The Douglas . . . What say you give Matrix game that day~! Fuck me some head after your [pitas]M<an! class and then id eat you out like you were chocolate chip (why don’t you relax and get cookie dough. I’m warning a life- if you’re upset about you now, don’t ever let me see buying a Matrix game, you’re you bend over or you will get a loser anyway, so stop wastan 8 inch pole coming from me ing my time with your ridicuinto your sexy body. Look for lous personals.) the guy with the Airwalks on.

I have a secret...the editor(if you really have an 8 inch in-chief of the medium confided pole, i’d like to see it... i in me that he masturbates hardly believe that it’s 8 while listening to John Mayer. inches unless you’re black Yeah, he loves him that much. and i wonder how many (Like I said Mike—it’s always black people wear important to be honest) airwalks... or any person at all... what kinda loser wears (It’s true, he told me that too. those sneakers anyway? but He insists that he said i won’t care if it’s really 8 Shakira, but I think we have inches... we can take them it on tape and Mike it is important to be honest.) off when we’re doin it.)

to that raunchy white eclipse humper on tinsley 4, keep your nasty pictures to yourself, nobody wants to see that flat ass all up in their face.

to my snowbird: by the time this paper comes out, you’ll already be in england/pakistan. i’m sorry you have to go already. we’ll all miss you dearly. come back soon. things won’t be the same w/o you. i will try to post you, mate. cheerio. until next time, dont get crushed by the lift. have fun shopping with the trolleys. and enjoy the flat in england. <3 you. carol.

to those fucking morons who mod up their civics, why dont you spend your money on something that’s worth modding... like an audi.

to people from s.jersey, you guys suck with your begels, water ice, and bs like that. get a clue and realize that n. jersey is far better.

to ms...How could you do this to me? I thought we had something? I thought I meant something to you? Sometimes, late at night, i stand outside your bedroom window and wait for you to fall asleep. I named my new pet fish Stainey, after you.

Do you think I’m psycho? I might be so be careful.

to ch: why do you amuse me so? i sit here all day wondering how you can make me laugh like this? everytime i’m with you i feel so happy :o). you’re my friend. i <3 you. stop being dumb. -ch

this page brought to you by CH

Personals Personals

“she called me a paki! you don’t understand what that means.”

(that shows you that if you want to keep someone you think is special, you can’t play games. fucking on a first date means fucking on a first date, but if you’re a good fuck, it’s a ticket to lots of sex in the future and possibly a relationship. however relationships that sizzle in the beginning tend to die down just as fast as it heated up, so maybe you have a second chance at finding love.)

God bless George Bush, He tells them to bring it on so we can keep spreading freedom and democracy to Iraq just like we did to Japan and Germany.

Those stupid Canadian pacifists know nothing, America is great and everyone is just mad because we don’t fucking care that they hate us. This is why we need to spread more American value to the world, now more than ever! The Patriot w w w. t h e m e d i u m . n e t

2 Dat ho in mai Comparative Politix class, SHUT DA FUCK UP BITCH! I dont fucking care if your family was raped and killed in [pitas] ! I dont care if you got a fucking A in class...plz shut da fuck up aight? I wanna not fail in dat class and get mai piece strait threw...man you know wat? I wuz possed to do a Paiper for dat class, but imma do it lata.

Oh yea to my professor!

FUCK YOU dat Simpsons peice aint dat FUNNY!!!! MR SPARKLE IZ UP YA AZZ FYUCKER!!! No noboyd give me a 7 on ma fucking EXAM! NO ONE!

I was at the Cook Cafe getting breakfast and I really wanted some grape soda to go with my bacon and eggs. Why the fuck isn’t there any grape soda? Are you discriminating against black people? Isn’t Pam black? I think Pam would like grape soda with her bacon and eggs. I suggest that you get some grape soda before I encourage a boycott of that hateful, discriminatory place.

(Grape soda isn’t that common. Why don’t you go to downtown N.B. you should find it there. that’s where i get mine from.) hey ch, you look like a little boy. you’ve got beautiful green eyes and you’re so adorable. i just wanna eat you up! i might just do that!! hehehe -ch

did you notice how juicy this section is? if you like juicy and want juicier, come to a meeting at BECK 003 @ 9:30pm. if you think this is lousy, tell us your idea of juicy- it’ll make us feel juicy. pssst, btw it’s on livingston campus. see ya there!~ xoxo

If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.

w w w. t h e m e d i u m . n e t

www.ilovemartinscock.com i love to chomp on pussy. -ch

[C-] from the Cook Campus Center. You are a sorry excuse for an administrator and person. You are a fucking CUNT. I hope you [eat pitas]in a car accident on the way to work sometime, you stupid, miserable bitch.

To my gay roommate, Sorry about the jizz stains oozing from your ass. I'll clean it up next time.

I think the problem with the Medium is not the medium itself, its the fact that they don't post anymore stuff about (some sort of cumputer people) but focus on whiny freshmen who like to play the Race Card because they all felt screwed over by Affirmative Action! Because remember for Every Black and Hispanic who get accepted 20 Asians and 5 Whites must be Rejected!

(Let us not forget the 12 handicapped half white half Asians. Yeah, they exist…) to the hott clarinet section leader of the RU band. your girlfriend is a fake, prissy bitch. people who have been run over by mack trucks look better than her! you could do so much better than that dirty whorebag. you'd be better off with that ugly gay fag in your section who can't keep his eyes off of you. if you don't swing that way, you can always come find me so i can tap that hott ass of yours. i'd jump on you in a heartbeat. i'm always watching...

(After the controversy my comment about the abundance of personals toward African Americans, I don’t wanna say this. But fuck you all. WOWIE, sure are a lot of personals about band people this week. Fuck you band bitches, come get me…)

To the love of my life, the field of the RU Band. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to rape you during practice? I long to feel your body pressed against mine like that one glorious night at band camp.Let's get together during pep band-I hear its nice and dark under the bleachers.

I noticed the muslum club is having a thing tonight talking about the “Plight of civil liberties post 9/11”. There wouldn’t be any if you fuckin a-rabs didnt fly planes into the buildings. And they arnt you rights, they are ours, we live here and PAY taxes. Fuck you, fuck the middle east, and fuck MTV...

To that rat bastadrd of an ex boyfriend that thought it would be funny to steal my windsheald. At least you could have left me some gogles to drive with. The bugs in my hair aint cool. These weaves are $$$.

“Hitler called. He wants his haircut back…

To all the guys who Loved Need For Speed: Underground, Ricers fucking suck, just like those dumbass trucks and cars in the game that get in their way...I just wished those racist programmers At EA didnt make them drive like "Stereotypical Asian Drivers" what a shame. I just cant believe that EA games would program such racial stereotypes into Need for Speed games...

A special message to those who don't read The Medium: I love you, but our love can never be... You would try to hurt me, without seeing the good Ihave. You would seek to change me, instead of understanding. I'm sad for you, but I still love you.

Fuck you Richard McCormick, you pretentious, cheating, drunken, slut-fucking Mick. Where the hell do you get off talking about morals when you can't keep your dick in your pants or a bottle of red wine out of your mouth? Besides, we all know you're siding with the black man cause you're scared of them since you got mugged. Hey, maybe now that the NAACP knows you're on their side, no one will steal your wallet next time you make a liquor run. Fuck off, bee-yotch.

(Although the thought of the NAACP ever siding with anyone other then a certain ex president that gets hiss knob shlobed on his desk is something I would have never thought possible, Dickey is just tossing us one surprise after another. I mean, who sticks up for Livingston?)

Why don’t you get off you ass, grab some booze and get you ass to The Medium meeting tonight in Beck hall on Livingston at 9:30 room 003. You bring the booze, we bring the boobs…

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

I don't care what my brothaz To everyone out there protestand sistaz think about the Meing against The Medium: Is it dium, I still thinks Rutgers Personal of the week! really worth your time to fight Football sucks not because against this 'scatalogical rag'? I they are Black, but because To the girl who got me sick: If know the mantra...'Organize!' they never had talent. I was my penis falls off and gets a but in all seriousness, is there appalled that RU Football went purple rash on it I PROMISE no better cause that you can to a NAACP rally even though that i will beat you up with it. find? What other group of the they are not a race, but be- What do you call a person who sort that you make The Mecause they were whining about thinks they can challenge the 1st dium out to be would let the the Medium dissing them. They ammendment? A (Jets-Fan) opposition into its meetings? are just a joke, we seriously *Use you imagination...* Would accept your submisneed more RU Football jokes, sions? Would give you a voice, To that dumb bitch and her because they are just plain ofeven if that voice is against ass hole of a boyfriend trey. fensive and they are a waste of them? Wise up, rise up, and use Its aight, cause i fucked you money. Too bad McCormack your energies for something in the woods rwice. You still enjoys getting his cock didnt burn me. Tell your man more constructive. stroked by RU Football.

To the hot bitch in my evo what you want. I got pics... class. You gonna get raped...

Perhaps in I throw a penny in here, I will turn into something Well, here it more evil then Hitler.

goes...

personals@themedium.net Cause you have nothing better to do.

Personals Personals

For this week: A laurel for The Targum (on 11/17), for reporting on the injustices visited upon students by Those Known Only As ParkTrans. A dart... for not mentioning The Medium (11/ 12) as the source that broke the story first!

To the butt ugly chick in my expos class that talks about her boy friend the whole time.

I hate learning as much as the next person, but i dont wanna here about you and that dude gettin it on in the tub. Your fat, ugly, and have uneven boobs.

Go strangle yourself with a gerden home and get eaten by a timber wolf. Tree slut., To the personals editors and all the rest of you fuckas that been takin all dis heat fo do’s fools. Dont sweat it brothas.

It all good, if we gotz to vote o suttin, just rig dat shit. i been there, werd, you can gets threw it. Just keep sucking all the mc cormick dickl ya need. he gives you moneys....

Wha?!? A Personals Editor?!?

This is to my 25 year old roommate...GET A FRAME FOR YOUR DEGREE INSTEAD OF TAPING IT ON THE WALL! To the big fucking clarinet, MYA whore of the RU Band.

You are ugly! I never really understood why all the ugly girls get the guys, but it must have something to do with your sexy forehead and superb sense of fashion. The next time you want to fuck a few guys, try to make sure they're not roommates. Kinda makes things weird. Happy Slutting! P.S You should join the trumpet section--afterall they do put out.

To the nice lady that works in the tillitt comp lab that struck up a convo with me over dinner durring the turkey day din din. I love you and want to have you having my child.

Strangle me witha printer cable in a fit of pastion and toss me into a poss of disks.

OWWW, i cut my wee wee.

Please kiss it and make it (Not only did this personal better... not make sense, but believe it or not, I actually had to fix (I have heard of cyber sex, it up a little to be able to read but this is just fucked up...) www.themedium.net it…)

The latest sorostitute quote..."If you hook up with anyone else, I won't hook up with you again, but I'm not saying I'm going to hook up with you again." What the fuck!....

(You obviously don’t speak sororstitute, that simply means that she is pregnant again, and her AIDS is acting up…)

To the girl who gives out the burger king crowns, you deserve a burger king crown for "crying". Because your acting is the best!! Tell me how I can be so good at it, I would like to use it on my boyfriend.

(So let me get this strait, she hands out burger king crowns? I would assume she is in college. And cries while doing it you say. There is a real winner…)

To that fat dude in my death and afterlife class that farts whenever he tries to stand.

Eat some beano you fat fuck and lay off the fiber!

I think any guys that wear pink shirts cause its fashin or whatever should be kicks in a balls 5 times as soon as they walk out the door. Ill pay

Personals Personals No personal problems with the Medium Staff- we just wish the hate would stop. Too many issues with the world- and RU as a whole. Racism in school on top of Nat’l Alliance recruitment in New Bruns, people need to realize that not everything’s funny. PS: 15 Gs to Prez McCormick’s publicist is a lot of damn money.

(No problems with you, you whiny ignorant bitch. $15,000 wasn’t spent on a publicist, it was spent on PR firm to handle the situation of his infidelity with his wife.

Rutgers isn’t a racist school, it’s one of the most diverse.

16Gs is a lot to spend on an in-state education!) jaleel white was one of the best actors of the 1990s. i was watching an episode of family matters, when he played steven urkel and stefan urquelle in the same episode, and i was blown away. it really showed jaleel’s range of acting. but we all fell in love with urkel and his quarky ways. his catch phrases “did i do that” and “whoa mama” still ring in my ear today and bring joy and laughter into my life. and let’s not forget shawn harrison aka waldo faldo.

(Family Matters was a staple of ABCs line up, along with Full House and Step by Step.

I wonder where SteveUrkle is today.....probably smoking cock, or crack.. same thing!)

YESSSS, Jets intercept Steve McNair for a second time in the Monday Night Football Game... Yeah I’m a Jets fan..

Let’s go Jets! J-E-T-S! McGreevey is the worst. Nobody fuckin' likes him, he can't control DYFS, and now he wants to step in an change RU's setup so that we merge with other schools and become UNJ, so we can be cheap labor for pharmaceuticals.

RUTGERS IS NOT UNIVERSITY OF NEW JERSEY CENTRAL. We got to let him know this. Some things never change. Idiot politicians are timeless. Vote for me.

(Well there mister politician.. who the fuck are you if we’re going to vote for you? eh??)

To that girl that knows I think she’s so fine. I can’t wait until I can have you all to be mine. I know I’ve waited a long long time. Your voice is so sweet it sounds like a wind chim. You’re so hot, you’re always on my mind!

“No, you couldn’t just call them the Naughty Twins. They’re the Assfuck Twins.”

To the bitch over at Davidson.

Fuck you. I hope you like giving that black fag blowjobs cause one time, you’re gonna choke on his cock and die.

After you choke to death, I hope he pees on you just like R. Kelly. Maybe he could even take on shit on you, but that is wishful thinking.

(You know, telling a girl you want her to choke on a cock is quite meaningful, most girls can’t handle big cocks, but everyone isn’t as blessed as me! Boo-yah!)

To the Girl in the leopard print skirt I saw at Phi Delt last weekend I would love to fuck you all night long Come back there any time you want To the motherfucker Dan from DKE Stop thinking you’re God’s gift to Rutgers, Because you’re really not! I have an idea, go FUCK yourself!

(I know some doctor smuck from DKE, he’s always like.. ‘hey baby, let me get your screen name’. All the guys at DKE ain’t horrible, it’s a frat where it isn’t cool to fuck another man in the ass) Hey Nate, I know people don’t usually call you Nate but I figured I’d have some fun with this personal. A bunch of us think you’re a tad sexually frustrated and maybe even gay. If you love the cock, let us know so we’ll know to stop making gay jokes about you. If you’re not gay, why not act interested in females.. you know you use them for sex...

This is what the personals are all about... sexy plaid boy- you were in my group 4 religion. i always see you at Tillet in your hot plaid outfits. please do me. LOVE, blonde hottie in the Towers to that fat bitch with short orange hair: please stop reading the medium out loud at Tillet like we are all 5 years old. btw orange hair is a defect and you look like a street cone on steriods! please spare our eyes and get a bottle of hair dye. to the fat bithc south tower 4th floor, stop eating you fat pig. your’re a bithc. everyone hates you. please kill yourself. ~the juice head down the hall (Hey Jackass, next time you send in a personal, check your spelling, you mean to say fat bitch, not fat bithc)

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

As a black student, though I prefer brown because my skin is not black ...

Get a crayola box we can compare anyways i respect the feelings of those who are offended by the stuff that is printed in this paper because they can be pretty fucked up and you can’t help the way people react to or feel about certain things, but the medium can also be pretty funny and true...I know I play my music loud. The persons use of the word nigger was unneeded but hey the words cracker (unless we’re talking about food) and spic and chink are unneeded also Now I challenge every one of The Medium is an explanation but people say it and that you reading this. Look at any right in front of your eyes for makes them ignorant. The craziness printed in this paper other personal and laugh at it. why you blacks are always Find the one you find most discriminated against. You hate puts a smile on my face and offensive and look for the joke predjudice but you yourself is makes my day less crappier in it. Stop taking the blind, predjudice. You think the paper (FUCK PRECALC)... the pointless anger of another is funny, but it is not for those medium makes fun of person at your race, religion, who do take seriously. By everyone and everything ..all or lifestyle as a personal presenting yourself in such a the time... if you have a offense. Instead feel pity for manner, more whites will have problem with it dont read it ...walk on by when you see it that person. And maybe, take more reason to discriminate the time to help that person against you and it is not in tillett or the student center. realize why they hate. Yeah, it’s becuase of the color of your I’d also like to add that hate work, but if no one does skin. We live in a generation starts at home. Don’t throw anything about it, it’s not getting where racism is about to stones without looking at any better.

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 yourself first. So for all my 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 become the thing of the past, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 Obviously you’re “brothas and sistas” who but yet BLACKS only seem to 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 still be holding on, using it as refer to each other as niggas 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 reading this right now, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 and bitches ... if you don’t 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 and what I wanted to an excuse for your failures - “I 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 want an outsider to use that 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 din’t get the job because I was 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 say was next week is discriminated against” 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 word, don’t use it period...

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 the last issue of the because all you’re saying is WRONG! you dint get it cuz 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 the words can’t be that bad. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 semester. Send in your you’re STUPID.. ACCEPT IT 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 I will continue to support the 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 AND MOVE ON. It shows 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 personals to: 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 medium.

BLACKS are immature and 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 personals@themedium.net stupid. And it shows through (I really consider this one of 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 this newspaper. The poor the best personals I’ve read, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 Be sure to get them 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 grammar speaks for itself. Oh especially since all of the re- 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 sent in ASAP so you cent commotion with this sec- 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 and if you’re going to use this 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 as another excuse for why can let that special 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 tion. Thank you!)

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 whites hate you..oh boo hoo..

To that attractive girl I saw in 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 someone you like 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 i’ll tell you this, I AM ASIAN. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 Tillet on Monday, you looked 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 them, or tell someone 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 And I judge you not by your so hot with that purple sweater 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 off. Either way, send skin but by your low class, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 and your black curly hair. I’ve 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 us in personals for the uneducated, rude behavior.

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 seen you on campus before and 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 I must say, you’re damn fine! 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012 last issue of the year! Thank you.

12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012

What’s Shakin’

“That milk was for my children you asshole!”

So, many of my people out there who have been reading(hahaha nobody reads this section) this page for various amounts of time, might be wonder what indeed is shakin? Well without having to say too much, I can only say it involves a gerbil, Cuban refugees and a wire coat hanger. Meow, I’m not able to go any further into what makes this page shake so much, but I’ll show you the fruits of their hard labor. So this week and this week only, You will finally see the product of the What’s Shakin Project (Whatthefuckareyoutalkingaboutthispageisabouteventsaroundthetristatearea for short)

T h a t ’s right

C O M E D Y

Kittens biatch!

Wed, Dec. 3-Jim David, Jim Norton, Greer Barnes, Dave Attell, Laurie Kilmartin, Dean Obeidallah, Lisa Lampanelli at Comedy Cellar, NY Wed, Dec. 3-Nick Dipaolo at Caroline’s, Broadway, NY Thurs, Dec. 4-Gerald Kelly at Caroline’s, Broadway, NY Thurs-Sat, Dec. 4-6-Macio at Stress Factory, New Brunswick, NJ Thurs-Sat, Dec. 4-6-John Knight at Rascal’s, Cherry Hill, NJ Thurs-Sun, Dec. 4-7-Richie Byrne at Rascal’s, Ocean Township, NJ Sat, Dec. 6-Richard Belzer at Caroline’s, Broadway, NY Sat, Dec. 6-Jon Stewart at State Theater, New Brunswick, NJ Sat, Dec. 6-Dave Attell and Lewis Black at Westbury Music Fair, Westbury, NY Sun, Dec. 7-Mario Cantone at Caroline’s, Broadway, NY

Wednesday December 3rd, 2003

Concerts Thurs, Dec. 4-MTV2’s Headbanger’s Ball Tour, featuring Lamb Of God, Killswitch Engage, Shadows Fall at Starland Ballroom, Sayreville, NJ Sat, Dec. 6-Dramarama at Starland Ballroom, Sayreville, NJ Sun, Dec. 7-David Lee Roth at Starland Ballroon, Sayreville, NJ Thurs, Dec. 4-Jim Beam Live featuring Zebrahead at Theatre Of Living Arts, Philadelphia, PA Sat, Dec. 6-Buzzcocks at Theatre Of Living Arts, Philadelphia, PA Tues, Dec. 9-Simon & Garfunkel at Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, PA Fri, Dec. 5-Bruce Springsteen at Convention Hall, Asbury Park, NJ Fri, Dec. 5-John Lennon/Jim Morrison “a 12/8 Memorial Tribute” at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, NY Sat, Dec. 6-92.3 K-Rock Claus-Fest at Hammerstein Ballroom, NY Sat, Dec. 6-Al Green at Beacon Theatre, NY Mon, Dec. 8-Seal at Hammerstein Ballroom, NY Tue, Dec. 9-Trans-Siberian Orchestra at Beacon Theatre, NY Tue, Dec. 9-Rjd2 & Blueprint Are Soulposition at S.O.B.’s, NY

Come to a Medium meeting, Wednesdays at 9:30 PM in Beck 003 on Livingston! Find out why this paper is the talk of the town, and no, we didn’t throw a baby down a well.

88.7 WRSU presents Rainer Maria, Sparks Fly from a Kiss, Crayon Rosary, Zelda Pinwheel Fri, Dec. 5th at Douglass Cafe, Douglass College Center 6:00 PM FREE! (1 Guest/RU ID)

Send events to: events@themedium.net Spider Jerusalem.... ‘nuff said.

Send me events, or I’ll let it leak about that time when you did that thing. What were you thinking? You weren’t even drunk and you were like..... man that What’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah FILLER was crazy, and I got pictures so send me events.

I’ve seen this game beaten in 11 minutes.

What have you done with your life?