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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly www.rutgersmedium.com
Volume xliii Issue III
75¢
september 26th, 2012
THOSE OTHER GUYS
DAILY TARGUM PROGRESS NOT HINDERED BY "BAD NEWS" BY SUM DUM JOO HEAD WRITER
MINE STREET—As of late, intense events including a student being hit by an RUPD vehicle, a shooting, and various robberies have been echoing across campus much to the Daily Targum's disliking. “We know how to do the news,” said Editor-in-Chief Jovelle Tamayo. “We also know that students are sensitive to what happens and we must make sure that their fragile mental psyches are not damaged by intense events.” According to Tamayo, the Daily Targum has prided itself on quality journalism for years. She noted that as the sole source of information for thousands of Rutgers students every day, the editorial staff takes their jobs seriously. “Our policy this year is to avoid the stuff that may make
people sad and upset and focus on the lighter things,” continued Tamayo. On Monday, the Targum ran an article on the front page in reference to students taking parking spots and turning them into mini parks. "Isn’t that amazing?" said Tamayo. "Isn’t that something that totally deserves to be on the front page of a newspaper that is the sole source of relevant information for a 60,000 person university? I think so,” continued
COLD FRONT
Canada Protests South Park Movie
thing about this," said Gretzky. The film's writers, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are surONTARIO, CA—A country the prised that they didn't receive United States once considered a this type of feedback initially in friendly neighbor is now ignit1999. ing a series of protests over the While the filmmakers and South Park Movie, released 13 Americans alike see the Canayears ago, that portrayed Canadian protests as irrelevant and da in what they feel is a negative nothing to be worried over, the light. protests are set to continue in a Canadian President Wayne polite and orderly manner until Gretzky issued a formal statethey feel that some sort of restiment several days ago condemntution has been made, or until ing the movie, South Park: Bigthey become embarrassed and ger, Longer, and Uncut. Gretzky return home. has since apologized for the for"Uncle Fucka, eh? I never mal statement, but admits his heard such a disrespectful thing feelings are still kind of hurt. on our airwaves. Sorry about "Like c'mon guys. I'm sorry Continued on Page 2 if that's how you see us, but look, we're going to have to do someBY ALAN SMITHEE NEWS EDITOR
Tamayo. Despite an attempt to keep the bad news to a minimum, the aggressive journalists at the Targum do report on all events, no matter what the issue. Lately, no piece of news, big or small, has been able to miss their pages, inside and out. “We chose to mention the thing about the kid getting hit by an RUPD vehicle in our opinions section,” said Managing Editor Olivia Prentzel. “It was Continued on Page 2
QUICKIES
Researchers find NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin actually turns his cheeks bright red purposefully when threatened President Barchi jumps in front of moving RUPD police car to avoid going to board meeting "I immediately regretted my decision," said Barchi.
Bruce Springsteen replaced by cardboard cutout at birthday show
Despite the 63 year-old singer not wanting to perform during stormy weather, MetLife Stadium ticket holders were not dissuaded from singing 'Happy Birthday' to a piece of cardboard and a speaker box.
NEWS IN PICTURES
Student Standing Beside NextBus Ticker Thinks Everyone is Staring at Her
2% Recycled Humor ESTABLISHED 1970
SUBMITTED BY KCIG MANAGING EDITOR
the Medium
NEWS
“Currently 4:33 PM on Monday, eating a $5 Subway September favorite. Oh, it's 4:34 now.”
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
AND ONTO THE STREETS
OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE
President 'Barky' Has Bone to Desperate Businessman Pick with Corporate Fat Cats Changes Store Name to
"Please, I Have a Family"
BY GODIVA'S MAN-BITCH NEWS EDITOR
BARCHI'S HOUSE—Things in the Rutgers presidential mansion got a whole lot hairier this year, as new university president Robert L. Barchi decided to bring along his trusty advisor, President Robert L. Barky, along for the ride (with windows open of course). Making his debut at City Hall last weekend, Barky outlined bold initiatives to sniff out corruption and neuter negative publicity. His 50 shades of grey campaign, which seeks to brighten the campus image, was just one of many ideas Barky wagged in the faces of the corporate fat cats who hiss at "costly" renovation projects like the removing of litter. Although every dog has its day, not every order barked in city hall that night was met with positivity. Among Barky's belly flops were plans to demolish Katzenbach Hall, and force the grease trucks to switch the ingredients used at the grease trucks; from fat sandwiches to "cat sandwiches." "The Fat Cat sandwich was misleading and altogether disappointing," Barky poorly articulated. This is an issue I've been hoping to sink my teeth into and BAD NEWS BEARERS
Barky welcomes the media into his new office during a break.
hopefully dig a little deeper." City Hall secretaries could only do their best to translate the puppy sounds coming from the presidential pedestal. Robert L. Sr. was nowhere to be found in City Hall that night. No, Barchi was home kicking back, watching Rutgers football. "I trained President BARKY to do the things no man should. Fetch the Medium, flush his own toilet, or run a state university." Roughly a dog year into the semester, Rutgers' pawsome proxy president is already making some instinctive moves. Will Barky leave his mark on the Rutgers campus? Very likely. On every fire hydrant, brick wall, and douchebag pant legs.
FRANKLIN—Television repairman Jack Andrzeczjak made a name for himself last week after he officially renamed his shop in a desperate attempt to gain business off pity. His small shop, located in a rundown mini-mall off Route 27, received a new sign to cover up the old “Jack’s Television.” The new store name, “Please, I Have a Family,” immediately created controversy in the community but zero revenue. Andrzeczjak’s business never provided him more than $35K annually but to him, it was enough to make ends meet for his wife and three kids. Now, the struggling repairman is collecting donations from passerby’s of his shop just to feed his kids. “My life has gone from difficult to provide to impossible. My utilities are through the roof and my wife can’t work full-time and raise a 3 year-old. We can’t PROTESTS, EH?
material to reflect that,” said Tamayo. “Plus the Admissions office likes to hand out papers to prospective students and if they don’t like what the headlines are, they will throw all the papers away.” “I mean, our purpose is to make the University look as good as possible, right?” continued Prentzel. “That’s how journalism should be. If we spent more time reporting on stuff that made people question the administration, or think openly about what is going on in and around the University, that would just be wrong.”
Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Head Writer
Amy DiMaria Kristen Cignavitch Krupa Patel Jordan Gochman
sell as we would take a loss in this market and we can’t bring in money anyway. We need all the help we can get,” said Andrzeczjak. The name change hasn’t done much else than attract attention to his situation, causing emotional trauma for his family and kids. According to close friends of the family, their children have received ridicule in school this past week as a result of the embarrassing name change. “I mean, my husband and I are having a tough time making the payments too but I don’t think people are just going to break their TV’s and bring them to Jack because they feel bad,” said an anonymous friend. The only thing that has benefited Andrzeczjak from this move is a few u-turns followed by nickels and dimes being thrust at his store glass window. “Not even quarters,” said Andrzeczjak with a tear.
...continued from front
that, eh," said Canadian Secretary of State Steve Yzerman. While protests still haven't reached the western portion of the nation, American citizens
...continued from front
in ‘Laurels and Darts’ and we gave the driver of the police car a dart. Isn’t that funny?” “We mentioned the other stuff too,” continued Prentzel. “We grabbed all the crime alerts and basically retold them all in one small paragraph on the top of the second page without a headline. So, we don’t compromise our integrity or anything.” This change in pacing from the award-winning student newspaper has several priorities in mind. “First, we spent a lot of time redesigning the paper so it looks trendy and cool, so we want our
Editorial Staff Fall 2012
BY RANDOM ANONYMOUS STAFF WRITER
from Maine to Washington are taking precautions in case of attack. American citizens living close to the border have been warned by local officials to avoid addressing men wearing red jackets and suits, and to only consume Americanmade maple syrup.
themedium.news@gmail.com something for your resume? facebook.com/rutgersmedium we don't update it at all News Editors Shane Whelan Stewart Hallman Features Editor Phillip Li Opinions Editor Ben Green Arts Editor Danielle Oyales Personals Editors Brianna Provenzano John Eberhardt
Back Page Editor Copy Editor Secretary Webmaster Faculty Advisors
Leif Tornberg German Ben Krupa Patel Kristen Cignavitch Barbara Reed Ronald Miskoff Club Mascot Cubby the Pug
The Medium is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. No article represents the opinion of the Medium or its staff. The Medium is a satire publication and should never be taken seriously. The office of The Medium is located in Room 439 of the Rutgers Student Center at the College Avenue Campus. This issue is dedicated to stripers. No, not strippers you pervert, striped bass a.k.a. stripers...okay, fine, strippers too. Only because I like you.
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
(F)ARTS
the Medium
“Akali is the worst champion in the game. Fuck Akali.”
EROTICA
Another Day in Someone Like you
vigor of a sixteen year old virgin. She wrapped her slightly chubby but Featuring Phil Collins and Adele voluptuous lips around Phil’s hefty shaft and by: Professor Koala bobbed in a slow but fluid manner. As she sped up “There’s a fire starting in my heart,” Adele whisand her saliva lubricated pered into Phil’s ear as he plunged his warm and his shaft more, the velocloving hands into the depths of her pants, where ity hit breakneck speeds. few have gone before, let alone is such a tender and loving manner. He responded by gently speaking Phil Collins made her stop abruptly much to into her ear, saying, “ You called me from the room Adele’s confusion. She looked up and heard him in your hotel, all full of romance for someone that say, “Take a look at me now.” His cock was at least you met.” And there he was, present and wait- 40% bigger than it was mere moments ago. Phil ing, gently rubbing her clitoris slowly and pas- forced Adele to the ground and penetrated Adele sionately. Adele’s more deeply than she had ever been before. Her eyes rolled back eyes contained fear for a brief second, as she was in pleasure as worried even her big beautiful body could not her legs trembled handle his manhood. As they made love on the from the pleasure ground, rolling in the deep, Adele was creaming of Phil’s gentle and gushing to the point that the floor was becomfingers. Then he ing slippery. Phil came with the force of a charging pulled her closer bull, his semen hitting her cervix so hard that it with his other made Adele shriek. The amount of semen was surhand and said, “Before you know it, you’ll be on real, overflowing from Adele and mixing with her your knees.” He sped his rubbing up a little and juices on the ground as if an entire cup of chicken with this a soft but definite moan escaped from gravy had been spilled. With a happy and satisfied Adele’s mouth, She pulled his hand from her and sigh Phil whispered, “Another day in paradise.” unzipped his pants, pulling his belt off with the
HIPSTER ZAP
CUTE THING
RAGE CAGE
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RSC: ROOM 439 @ 6:30PM
WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
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the Medium Amy DiMaria Editor in Chief Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Band Liked Ironically: Aly & A.J.
Kristen Cignavitch Managing Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Inconvenient Mode of Transportation: Unicycle
Krupa Patel Business Manager Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Blogging Website: Geocities Homepage
Jordan Gochman Head Writer Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Instagram Filter: “Nashville”
Shane Whelan Senior News Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Font: Helvetica
Stewart Hallman News Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Antiquated Form of Media: NPR on the Weekends
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mblr. asses. roids. edium.
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the Medium Phillip Li Features Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Passion Pit: Passion Pit
Ben Green Opinions Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Obscure Instrument: Theremin
Danielle Oyales Arts Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Inconvenient Way to Listen to Music: Wax Cylinder Recording Briana Provenzano Senior Personals Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Useless Accessory: Forehead Headbands
John Eberhardt Personals Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Ironic Facial Hair: Goatee
Leif Tornberg Back Page Editor Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon Favorite Version of Pokemon to Feel Nostalgic About: Pokemon Red
the Medium
“How do I look?” “Homeless.”
ADVICE
ETHICAL QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Ask a Guy Who’s in the Middle of Eating Lunch
Dear Guy Who’s in the Middle of Eating Lunch, Recently, I’ve been having trouble with my classes. I thought I’d be able to handle taking 18 credits at once, but I just can’t keep up with the workload. At this point, I might be failing out of school by the end of the year. What should I do? -Failing in Frelinghuysen
Dear Failing, Oh man, that sounds awful! I remember when I was in my freshman year; wait, hang on just a momen-arghmfnomfmunch. Oh man, this sandwich is fucking amazing. Lemme wash it down with some half-Pepsi, half-Sierra Mist. Sluuuuuuurp. You know, it’s not every day Brower has food this good. It’s days like this that really make me appreciate the bountiful meal plan that Rutgers gives us. Hang on just a moment, I’m going back in. OHMNOMNOMCHEWGLMFH. You know, I bet you’d feel a lot better if you came on down and had a sandwich here at Brower with me. Also, you should see a counselor about that academic thing of yours.
UNIVERSITY VOICES
OP/ED
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
Regarding last week’s accident on College Ave, who do you think was at fault? RUPD STUDENT BY OFFICER JONES
I can’t believe people are even debating over which side was guilty in this case. People need to open their eyes and see that the true culprit here is society at large. People need to stop their everyday hustle and bustle and think about their actions. Maybe if you had stopped to ponder the fleetingness of human existence, you wouldn’t have a bashed-in knee right now. If you took the time to even ATTEMPT to comprehend why you are sitting in a hospital bed right now; how many tiny, tiny atoms make up the newspaper you’re holding; or even how many things around the world happen in the time it took you to read this absurdly long sentence, MAYBE you’d find yourself a whole lot better off than you are now. I mean seriously, it’s a sad day when it takes something like this to open your eyes.
BY SASCHA PATEL You know, it really doesn’t take a genius to figure out who’s at fault when some kid runs out from between two buses at Scott Hall into the street. Any officer worth his salt would have noticed the student’s reflection in a grease puddle near the bus stop and acted accordingly. Or maybe he would have been warned by the slightly delayed traffic two blocks away, where the kid had crossed the street. I could go on for hours. I actually went back to the scene of the crime, and it was immediately apparent how lazy and uninformed this officer was. From what I saw, the officer should have known that kid would be crossing the street, approximately seventeen hours before it even happened. This officer is way out of his league; clearly, the RUPD needs to ramp up their selection process. Maybe I’ll consider joining once I’ve graduated. We’ll see if I can’t make them get their act together.
How do you feel about COMMENTARY our football team get- I’m going to tie this sweater around my ting into the Top 25? waist without shame BY JEREMY SCHULE
“I think it’s really great. If this keeps up, maybe we’ll see them play at the US Open!” Jane Lindemulder, SEBS Sophomore
“Jolly good. There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching American football with a tiddly grin on my face and a squabbish crumpet in my hand-doodle.” Johns Frederick, Transfer Student
“I liked it better when we were in the Top 10. The Top 25 are way too mainstream.” Susan Butcher, Economics Major
“HELL YEAH THE FLOOD GATES ARE OPEN!” Kyle Flood, Football Coach
Gosh, when I left the house this morning it looked pretty chilly out. It’s so hard to tell when fall is just starting. Now I’ve got this sweater with me, but it’s a little too warm to wear… Fine. You know what I’m going to do? I’m tying this sweater around my waist and no one is gonna make me feel awkward about it. I know all the things you’re going to say. “You’re a dork.” “What a spaz.” “Hey, look at that asshole. I can’t believe he left the house looking like such a fucking freak.” Well your words are going to roll right off of the wool sweater hugging my hips. Why should I be made fun of for
being practical? Yes, I went out without checking the weather. I’ll own up to that. But at least I’m trying to make the most of this mistake. Don’t you look at me with those judging eyes; I refuse to carry a cumbersome sweater around all day. And I refuse to feel shame for letting it rest comfortably on my waist. You know, it almost gives me an hourglass shape. I daresay I look good with the arms of a sweater knotted around my body. So I won’t hear any of your judgment. I’m going to enjoy my afternoon outside and when there’s a little nip in the air, I’ll be both prepared and stylish.
PERSONALS
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
“I used to like Phil Collins ironically, but now I’m pretty sure I actually like Phil Collins”
PUSSY SHIT
STUPID SHIT
To the obnoxious people on my floor. Stop playing fucking basketball on the wall next to my dorm. Some people are in the dorm during the day! Also, stop acting or getting wasted on a fucking wednesday afternoon. You guys need to keep those party attitudes for the weekends. P.S. one of you, please get better at the guitar because right now it sounds like a tonedeaf fucking wannabe hipster playing
To the individual who though that the Swastika is a sign of hatred: it’s a sign of peace and purity, not hatred like Hitler made it. Are you telling me that you’re gonna listen to Hitler’s Swastika over the real one? Who’s the bigot now? Dumbass ignorant motherfucker.
(“We got a salty bitch on our hands! They’re just trying to get their buzz on on a Wednesday afternoon, it’s their constitutional right as Americans. Why don’t you yank the stick out of your anus and join them and then maybe at least their guitar playing wouldn’t sound as terrible.“) To the girl bs-ing on facebook at the filled Douglass library. You can’t do that on a laptop anywheres else?! I need to print out a five page essay due in half an hour! To the girl who decided to pretend she was giving another girl advice about applying to the GSE: shut the fuck up. You just wanted to brag to all the people within earshot that you were accepted and then you managed to slip in some stupid bullshit about your fiancee. Stop bragging about your life and your fiancee while wearing one of those weird cowboy necklaces. (I asked everyone around me and no one could figure out what the GSE is because we’re not ejumacated. The best we could come up with was Giant Squid Erection.) To the scrawny system administrator. The way you execute those linux commands makes me so wet inside. (There’s no such thing as a linux command...just like there’s no such thing as a sexy system administrator. Shazam!.)
POLITICS SHIT
A shout-out to Obama. I like you, but what the fuck was it about saving the car industry? You only did that to please Michigan. The rest of us couldn’t give a shit about Ford or Chrysler or General Motors. Come on, we want jobs, but not necessarily in some car factory. We don’t want to mooch, either, we want JOBS, but (“Hey what’s so bad about we want jobs we like doHitler?!? Read The Medi- ing, and jobs that make us feel good about ourum!”) selves. I would do terrible, unforgiveable things to (Man fuck Obama, man.) have an acceptable rythm while dancing at bars; it To Romney: You’re nuts. seems to be just a white- Why would anyone in guy thing his right mind vote for you? You’re not all that (I don’t know who you are bad, but your allies are but the way you typed that too backwards, and I’m makes you seem like some- not completely on board one who will never be able with your support-thescrew-the-poor to dance and who will prob- rich, politics. What does an ably die alone. Just a shot in old-money guy like you the dark.) know about the poor or middle class? How will I heard league of legends you help urban America? is addicting like crack. All I see from you was “Romneycare” and a lot (Me no understand your of whining about the Big Dig in Boston. Gee, that’s nerd speak.) nice. Then your party goes ahead and falls in To the kikes of Rutgers: bed with the same car Happy New Year! And industry that your dad your chicken soup is deli- belonged to and your cious. I should know. I’m opponent “saved”. Plus, a kike myself. you’re a robot. (I love chicken soup! And exactly nothing else about this personal)
(Man fuck Romney, man.)
To butthurt Muslims in Araby and elsewhere: To the kid in the yellow GROW UP ALREADY Nike shirt walking out of the student center Mon- (Where be Araby?) day night...you were legit so pale you made my I’m so sorry, Jesus. eyes hurt. Get a package at Beach Bum, make it To Clint Eastwood: I platinum. liked you better when you were Michael J. Fox I’m a personal attacking playing Marty McFly. you for something stupid You used to sling guns. you did at a party last Now you lecture chairs. night. And when your friends read me, you’re gonna cry your eyes out (Man I’m sick of these poand slam your car into litical Personals, man) a tree. And if you have cut rate insurance, it may Dare. Give the person not cover the damage. next to you a big hug. So get Allstate, you can Trust me, it was meant to save money and be better be. protected from Mayhem like me. Dollar for dollar (Dare: walk to the nearest no one protects you from bus stop, wait until you see Mayhem like Allstate the LX, and jump in front of agents. it.)
the Medium
FROM THE DESK OF LIL’ BIT NOTHING GETS MY DICK HARDER THAN PEOPLE WRITING PERSONALS! Nice work this week everyone, great effort all around. We had a variety of Personals about cocksuckers of all shapes and sizes. Keep up the good work for next week, you know I’m counting on you.
themedium.personals @gmail.com RUTGERS SHIT
ONE ANGRY FUCK
To Rutgers Police Department: Thanks for hitting a student and attempting to cover it up.
To kids who take the bus from College Ave Student center to Scott Hall bus stop: I just want you to know I remember every single one of your faces. I see you get on at the Student Center, pushing people to get in and proceeding to take the bus a whole fucking 3 streets. You continue by being the inconvenient fucks who push by to get out before we can even allow the new people to board the bus. How hard is walking those three streets? Throw in a pair of headphones and enjoy the weather and campus atmosphere. If I ever got so lucky to be granted 3 wishes by a genie, just know I?d use one of them to be able to hang you upside down like a piñata from a tree and stick a needle of steroids in Jose Canseco?s ass. I will then proceed to allow him to go to town beating your fucking knees with a baseball bat. I hope you then appreciate your legs as you crawl away, dragging your lifeless, contorted legs behind you.
(That’s right guys, you read about it in the Personals... the HARD HITTING (lol) Rutgers news. P.S.- the Youtube video of the kid screaming in pain that accompanied this personal was solid gold.) To the bro who claims he got laid by leaving the football game early: funny story - I overheard a biddie later that night who was bitchin to her girlfriend about getting her hopes up for some dude she left the game early for. Too bad you couldn’t reach anywhere past her clit. Cold front making your dick shrink kinda quick, huh? (Yeah crazy coincidence!! At a school of 50,000 sluts, what are the odds that this particuar slut was talking about the guy that wrote the personal?.) To people who talk on the quiet floor of the LSM: You have the whole campus to talk and I have this one little space to work in silence. No matter what good you do in life I will always hate you. (That’s right, no redemption for those fuckers) To the goddamn hipster at the DCC who made the girl put on a new pot of coffee just so he could have decaf, I hope you suffer from an incurable bout of scoliosis that renders you unable to walk more than 12 ft at a time.
(First of all, I feel sorry for you. Look at you, sitting on the back of the bus just fucking stewing in your own anger and judging every poor soul. It’s sad. Maybe they’re having a long fucking day, maybe their feet hurt and they just got a D on their Expos paper. How do you even know? There you are, just sitting on the REXL and memorizing the faces of people as they come on the bus for a quick shortcut without bothering anyone. Does it make you feel better to judge the huddled mass? Don’t be so judgey.... we’ve all done it.)
THE BACK PAGE “The Pokemon drinking board game is the shit”
The Amazing Adventures of Al Gore That darn rascal Mr. Gore is at it again! Al Gore has come a long way, having saved the Earth from pollution and greenhouse gases, and visiting Africa. He decided to take his journey back to the United States and visit Alaska!
Mini What’s
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
My Roomate Sleeping
BY POKEMON LEAF GREEN | Back Page Editor
Shakin’
Tonight at 6:30PM Medium Meeting @ CAC Student Center Room 439 It’s algebraic! Thursday at 12:00 PM Motivating Your Students @ Center for teaching advancement Showing a little skin can go a long way. Thursday at 12:00 PM Poster Session @ Canterbury House Your presentation skills shall dramatically increase. Friday at 12:00 PM Rutgers Gardens Farm Market @ Hort Farm Buy your fruit before they pull the bugs off! I’m watching you, pal
Useless Reviews of the Week BY LIL BIT | Personals Editor
Green (color) Compared to other colors, this one is pretty good. It’s not one of the primary colors (red, yellow, etc.) but it’s still just as good. We see it every day in things like grass, trees, and on the tip of the water fountain in Scott Hall. Pros: color of money, rhymes with many things. Cons: crocodiles. Scary! Fall is coming and sometimes the leaves change so its important to appreciate green now, while we have it. Overall, I give this color 4.5 out 5 stars. The only thing that could make green better is if it had one more E in it. Greeen.
Connect Two
BY POKEMON LEAF GREEN | Back Page Editor
Just look at that majestic plumage.
Wondering why this is not a picture of some kid sleeping? It’s because none of you sent me pictures. Start sending me pictures of you assholes sleeping, assholes.
SEND ME STUFF AT THEMEDIUM. BACKPAGE@GMAIL.COM!!! Fortune Teller
Cut out this fortune teller and have a blast with your friends- nineties style!