SPORTS WWE to merge with WWF in conservation project slated to save the panda species
TECHNOLOGY Local man still can’t figure out how to maintain a comfortable temperature with new sink
PUBLIC HEALTH Groundbreaking RU research reveals that lead in New Brunswick water is turning children gay
WEATHER
Serving the Rutgers community since 1970. Independent as long as the Targum has sucked.
It’s unseasonably warm as usual, but it’s fine, we’re not in New Orleans
RUTGERS UNIVERSITY—NEW BRUNSWICK
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 2017
ONLINE AT RUTGERSTHEMEDIUM.WORDPRESS.COM
DANCE MARATHON RAISES THOUSANDS IN SOCIAL MEDIA CAPITAL BY JAMES MULLEN NEWS EDITOR Dance Marathon has become a cherished ritual among Rutgers students since its foundation in the spring of 2000. The number of Rutgers students that have danced in the annual fundraising event has increased significantly since RUDM’s inception, and the Embrace Kids foundation has benefitted greatly from the exploding numbers of dancers. For many dancers, the event goes beyond just raising money to make a difference in the lives of children affected by cancer, sickle cell anemia, and other diseases. This is a rare opportunity for many students to experience the joy of raising social media capital and garnering hundreds of likes RUDM has made a real, positive impact on the lives of children like Nico. A few years ago, Nico was diagnosed with Evans Disease, is a very rare genetic autoimmune disorder which compromises the immune system. Thanks to RUDM, Nico and his family were given the opportunity to pair up with the Student Athletic Advisory Committee, which allows Nico to interact with student athletes and have some semblance of a normal social life. While this story is mildly uplifting, it doesn’t even hold a candle to the sheer rush of dopamine felt by SAS Junior and Beta Chi philanthropy chair Chad Smithmeyer as the likes start pouring in on his latest post asking for DM money. “It’s just a really good way to give back to the community,” says Smith-
Rutgers University Dance Marathon raised over 900,000 likes last year for the kids. meyer, who keeps glancing at his phone, which is buzzing with notifications from Instagram. “I don’t know what it is about Dance Marathon that just feels so good, but I can’t get enough of it.” Smithmeyer is just coming down from the wave of likes on his posts about spring break trip to Key West, and Dance Marathon is
picking up likes seamlessly after Smithmeyer headed back to school. In past years, DM has earned Rutgers Greek life thousands of likes, which has been almost enough to justify the constant scandals of students ending up in hospitals due to alcohol poisoning and repeated instances of sexual assault on
Rutgers to Decrease Student Funds Allocated for Printing
campus. This year, however, Greek life intends to get so many likes for the kids that none of that is any longer relevant. The massive influx of likes will make Rutgers fraternities and sororities a shining example of philanthropy and community involvement, and make heroes out of students that really just wanted to party.
U. Issues Recall On LeadContaining Water Bottles BY SIFAT MAHBUB EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
BY ANDREW BLUSTEIN MANAGING EDITOR After holding an emergency meeting last Thursday, the Rutgers Board of Governors lowered the printing allowance from $30 to $10. According to a source close to the situation, the University is in cost-cutting mode. “Rutgers University is in great standing,” said Nancy Winterbauer, Rutgers’ vice president for university budget-
ing. “Frankly, $30 was overly generous. Students will be able to make do with less, and the money the University is saving will only benefit the students in the long run.” There has yet to be any indication as to where the money will be diverted, but students do not seem to see the benefit. “I’m a civil engineering major,” said junior Steven Hernandez. “I print so much. I wind up spending like $15 a semester, and a lot of the time I print in
color. How is this supposed to help me? And where is the money going. You know Rutgers isn’t going to do anything with it, and if they do, they’ll do it like 10 years after I graduate. This printing allowance decrease follows a June decision by the Board of Governors to hike tuition by 1.7 percent for the 2016-17 school year. According to reports, the University will be funneling the SEE PRINTING ON PAGE 4
An outbreak of lead poisoning has prompted Rutgers Dining Services has issued a recall on all reusable water bottles. The water bottles were distributed this semester to every student with a meal plan as part of an effort to reduce waste, as styrofoam cups are no longer available for takeout. However, following the hospitalization of multiple Rutgers students, the university has requested that all bottles be returned immediately. Initial reports of lead poisoning began about one month ago, when freshman Nicole Walters was rushed to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital after complaining of severe abdominal pains. Once admitted, several tests concluded that the young woman had a high level of lead in her blood, and has been in the intensive care unit since. The physicians were not too concerned until 20 more students were admitted in the
following weeks with symptoms similar to Walters. After questioning the students and ruling out possible causes of the poisonings, RWJ reached out to Rutgers in order to inform them of the situation. The decision to recall the water bottles came once Rutgers officials admitted that the bottles were not made of aluminum but rather an aluminum and lead alloy. Due to the rising costs of aluminum, the university reportedly wanted to save money and opted to for the alloy bottles. While lead is much cheaper to produce and buy, longterm exposure to the metal is risky and is often avoided altogether. When asked for a comment, President Barchi stated, “We deeply regret our ill-informed decision regarding the water bottles. We wish the students a speedy recovery and are sending them positive vibes. However, can you really blame us for wanting to save money? Do you
VOLUME 53, ISSUE 8 • UNIVERSITY ... 3 • INSIDE BEET ... 5 • OPINIONS ... 6 • DIVERSIONS ... 8 • CLASSIFIEDS ... 10 • SPORTS ... BACK
SEE LEAD ON PAGE 4
March 29, 2017
Page 2
Weather Outlook Source: Grand Theft Auto Weather App TODAY TONIGHT
High of 70 Kelvin, Take a jacket Low of Absolute Zero, Embrace death
Thu
Raining Men
Fri
Sat
Locusts
General misery
ABOUT THE DAILY MEDIUM The Daily Medium is a student-written, student-managed, and totally underfunded satire and humor magazine for Rutgers University. We are a rapidly expanding grassroots company, and we rely on our fantastic supporters for upkeep of our products. Our goal is to provide the most unbiased and relevant news right to your doorstep, but we can’t do that without your help. (Also dorms don’t really have doorsteps so that’s been a bit of an issue for us, but we’re doing our best.) And your help comes in the form of cold hard cash. We get asked a lot, “how do you consistently come up with such quality content on such a strict time schedule?” And the answer to that question is money. From you. To us. Mail it to 2498 RPO Way. A lot of people send us fruit baskets or letters of appreciation. Stop. We want your fucking money. Also, no checks, credit cards, venmo, or war bonds. We need money immediately. Thank you for reading The Daily Medium. Now give us our cash.
THE MEDIUM THE MEDIUM ROOM 411B COLLEGE AVE. STUDENT CENTER RUTGERS UNIVERSITY PHONE: 1-900-555-6969 FAX: Who the fuck still uses fax? E-MAIL: themedium.eic@gmail.com WEB: rutgersthemedium.wordpress.com
THE 998TH EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF........................Sifat Mahbub//themedium.eic@gmail.com MANAGING EDITOR...Andrew Blustein//themedium.managing@gmail.com BUSINESS MANAGER.Andrew Blustein//themedium.business@gmail.com NEWS EDITOR...................James Mullen III//themedium.news@gmail.com NEWS EDITOR............................Aly Grindall//themedium.news@gmail.com OPINIONS EDITOR..........Jake Goldstein//themedium.opinions@gmail.com FEATURES EDITOR.....Marissa Schwartz//themedium.features@gmail.com ARTS EDITOR..........................Michael Okolo//themedium.arts@gmail.com PERSONALS EDITOR.......Rob Sanchez//themedium.personals@gmail.com A7 EDITOR....................................Jordan Plaut//themedium.a7@gmail.com SPORTS EDITOR.............Kevin McClintock//themedium.sports@gmail.com COPY EDITOR..............Jonathan Holzsager//themedium.fuckit@gmail.com SECREATARY..............................Jake Goldstein//themedium.bj@gmail.com WEBMASTER..................Landen Naphtali//themedium.beards@gmail.com FACULTY ADVISOR.............................William Field//whfield@rci.rutgers.edu RESIDENT DOUCHE...Mr. Grammy//themedium.notarealemail@gmail.com MASCOT....................Fratypus//themedium.whyareyoustillhere@gmail.com
CORRECTIONS The Daily Medium is an infallible work of modern literature. Any mistake that you perceive is merely a reflection of your own insecurities. Try to better yourself before reading next time.
CAMPUS CALENDAR FRIDAY MARCH 31 The last day of March. So get on those last minute March plans while you still can. Pretend like you filled out a NCAA bracket and root for any team you want. Despite being the only bracket in the pool you probably still won’t win. Just remember, life is fleeting, but you have to make believe like you give a shit otherwise people start to get worried.
There will be refreshments. WEDNESDAY APRIL 5 I happen to have a microeconomics test so you are all welcome to come to my dorm room and help me study. Interpret that however you want but either way im gonna get screwed.
FRIDAY APRIL 7 Rutgers officially changing its logo from the classic red “R” to FRIDAY MARCH 31 Rutgers a black “U”. This change Dance Marathon. It’s for kids is being met with some with cancer so if you don’t do controversy, as people don’t it then you’re an asshole. You want to have to cut off have no excuse, you’re an able the R and sew on the U to bodied college douche that their apparel. Either way, doesn’t want to exercise because the action is projected to you’re too busy eating ramen cost upwards of $6 billion and jacking off or something. and many hours of labor to For every one person that change all the signs. Bold doesn’t go we shoot a cancer move, Rutgers. kid. You have one day. SATURDAY APRIL 29 SUNDAY APRIL 2 Catholic Rutgers Day. A full Sunday mass. This week is afternoon of showcasing especially important as we are all that Rutgers has to offer. finalizing the list of people Come and explore the passing on to the afterlife! Make different clubs and social sure to reserve your spot or else groups, perhaps even meet a spend eternity damned to hell! colored person! This is your
time to branch out. However, if you do not stop by the Medium stand, we will find each and every one of you and personally cyber bully you until you are reduced to a mere shell of your former self. You’ll look back at the day that you didn’t stop by the Medium stand and think, “wow, it would’ve been so easy to just stop by and say hi. Now my life is in shambles.” Sometimes we get food! WEDNESDAY MAY 10 The last day of finals. This is the day that you will inevitably forget everything that you have struggled for the past few months. But that’s OK, because you’ll get fucked up and do it all over again next semester. Except this time you’ll have a weird tan.
March 29, 2017
University
Page 3
Rutgers to Introduce New “D” Bus Route BY CAILLOU
TRASH WRITTER Rutgers University has decided to add a new transportation route to their bus system. This route will be represented by the letter D and will go between Cook/Douglass and College Ave. Although there is already a F bus which goes between Cook/Douglass and College Ave, the D route will be going around the opposite way it’s first stop being College Hall and then going around the campus until it’s last stop at Red Oak Lane. The route will be including almost all of the stops the F bus does with some changes since there are parts of Cook that are only accessible through one way streets. One example would be after Henderson the route would continue straight to get onto 18 then enter Cook from the back of the farm and then go down College Farm Rd to drop students across from the Food Sciences Building. This comes after communication between the student government board, RUSA, and
Maybe the D stands for Donkey Kong? GIRL WITH NICE HAIR / STAFF PHOTOSHOPPER the board of governors. The issue came to light after a survey done by RUDOTS about the transportation system at Rutgers. The survey exposed how students felt the bus system was failing and often cre-
ating more problems for students than it was solving. In response, RUDOTS hired more bus drivers and rented more buses, but the burden on students was still felt. Being aware of this RUSA decided to take it
upon themselves to help solve the problem. They arranged various meetings with not only Barchi but other key members of the Rutgers transportation department to discuss how the creation of a new bus would af-
fect the student body. RUSA had reportedly raised the issue of creating a new bus or additional route last April but specifics about implications were still fuzzy. After almost of year of planning and budgeting, it seems there has finally been an agreement. Rutgers has agreed to take money that was going towards a new turf field and instead use it to implement the new route. Reports say the new route would cost the school a little under $5,000. This may seem like a small amount of money but RUSA had a solution for that as well. In place of buses, which require gas and drivers, the students will be given huge tandem bikes that can seat up to 30 people. These bikes will not only be eco-friendly but will promote exercise and a healthy lifestyle among students. According to a representative from RUSA the bikes will be structured in a regular car like fashion, except there would be no walls, windows, tires, or motors, just pedals and seats. The official announcement for the new route is set to come around after graduation, to ease the imminent jealousy of the recent graduates.
White Student Goes to Popeyes BY WALTER CRONKITE JR. CHICKEN ENTHUSIAST For the first time in his life, Allen Jeffries, a white male, went to Popeyes. It was nothing he had ever experienced before. Though a frequent customer of white-person food staples like Panda Express and Panera, Jeffries had always been intrigued by Popeyes. It took a walk down New Brunswick’s George Street with some new friends for the second-semester freshman to finally expand his horizons. “I’m from a pretty white town, so this is all new for me,” said Jeffries, a Short Hills, New Jersey native. “I was walking with the first black and hispanic friends I had ever made, and we passed Popeyes. The line was so long. That was the only thing stopping my friends from going in. I told them I had never been before and they were shocked. They just turned around and left me there.”
Confused, Jeffries walked alone to Chipotle, another gathering hole for white people, for a solo, contemplative meal. After he finished his bowl with a wrap on the side, he vowed that tomorrow would be a new day. “At that moment I told myself I’d man up,” said the 18-year-old Jeffries, whose only experience with black food culture was rushing into a KFC to use the bathroom while coming home from a middle school travel soccer game. “I’m in college now. It’s time for me to experience new cultures. That starts tomorrow with some Louisiana Fast.” The next day, Jeffries returned to Popeyes alone for lunch. Walking city streets by himself for the first time, he shuddered and jumped every time he walked by a homeless person. The notorious Sax Guy was frightening. “I powered through the streets of New Brunswick and proudly stood in line for about three seconds,” said Jeffries.
“Then confusion hit. I didn’t know how to order. Whenever we go out my parents usually order for me. If I’m out with friends, it’s at a place I’ve been before. It was so scary.” Jeffries stood at the counter flabbergasted. With a hungry line behind him, he froze. “The cashier asked what I wanted,” said Jeffries. “She could tell I was lost, so she asked if I wanted a four piece. I said, ‘No thanks, I don’t do drugs.’ Then she gave me this look like I had just ofended her. I don’t know their slang.” Jeffries finally buckled under the pressure of a growingly angry line, so he scrambled and asked for “some of that Louisiana Fast.” “I don’t know how, but I got my Apparently there’s a Popeyes on George Street food,” said Jeffries. “I just stood WHO KNEW? there like an idiot, but I finally got my food. And let me tell you, it’s pretty good. I mean what do you expect. It’s just some fried chicken. I’m sorry to let you down but it’s nothing special. I don’t think I’ve learned anything from this experience.”
We fucking slaved away at this for your enjoyment, so you better fucking enjoy it. Read it, laugh at it, tell your friends and then come to one of our meetings and say thank you. Room 411B in the CASC Wednesdays at 7:45 PM, assholes.
March 29, 2017
Page 4
LOCAL WOMAN IS VALIDATED ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS SHE REACHES 100 LIKES
PRINTING Shitty joke about paw-printing would wipe out 10,000 students in less than a week. “They need money man,” money it saves to outside said the source. “We can’t keep interests. A source, who requested to remain anonymous, them away any longer. We recently shined light on why have to pay them or else we’ll Rutgers is diverting so much all be eaten by bobcats. And it had to be printing money bemoney away from students. “We’ve tried for so long to cause they say we’re destroying keep them off our backs, but we the rain forests. If we took the just can’t do it anymore,” said money from somewhere else, the source. “The EPA is all over they would’ve let poisonous Amazonian us. They’re snakes loose squeezing us all around for money, “AAAAHHHHHHcampus. These man. They’ve HHHHHHHHH!” EPA guys are made so many fucking crazy, threats. First man. Fucking SOURCE they demandcrazy!” WISHES TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS ed us to put According to solar panels the source, the in that lot on EPA is pressuring the UniverLivingston. Then we managed sity in an effort to raise money to keep them at bay for years, but they’re bearing down on us as they face massive budget now. All of us here are scared cuts, and possible extinction, under a Trump regime. for our lives.” “It’s all Trump’s fault, man,” Allegedly, the Environmental Protection Agency has been said the source. “If he just let threatening to let savage, rabid the EPA be, then we wouldn’t bobcats loose across campus, as have to worry about all these the agency apparently claims fucking bobcats. Wait. Shhh! the University has contributed Did you hear that? Oh god. It’s in my house. OH GOD! OWWW! to the animal’s loss of habitat. The bobcats apparently have AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CONTINUED FROM FRONT
BY GRIND ALL BITTER THAT SHE GOT 99 LIKES Three days ago, 21 year old Abigail Williams reached an epic milestone of validation by getting 100 likes on her Instagram post. This comes after being an active member of the Instagram community for the past 4 years. Despite this, the milestone of reaching 100 likes seemed elusive to the college student. “It seemed like everyone was getting a hundred plus likes on every photo and I couldn’t even get past 60” she said. “I talked to my roommate about it and she said to just keep believing in myself and that one day it would finally happen. She turned out to be right!” Williams had gone home this past weekend to see her little brothers school play. While she was there she decided to take a picture with her new family dog, a golden retriever puppy
named Lola. Williams posted the photo which showed her hugging Lola with the caption “puppy :)!” at approximately 4:13 pm Sunday afternoon. It was then that she had to wait an agonizing 5 hours and 34 minutes until her post finally reached the 100 likes. The photo also accumulated 5 comments, another career high, which all lamented about how cute the new family dog was. “It was really nerve wracking but also really exciting,” said Williams. “I mean if I get less than 50 likes I delete the post because obviously I look like an ogre or something, but all of the sudden I started climbing up like ladder of likes and I could hardly look away from my phone!” Williams has never reached 100 likes before which naturally makes this a monumental moment in her social media career. “I’m thinking of changing my
major to marketing now!” Williams continued. With this new sense of validation Williams will finally be able to live a less stressful life for 2 days scientists say. After those 2 days the haunting thought of “having already peaked” and desperate attempts to reach the same height of likes again are sure to overcome Williams but for these next 2 days she will feel the great sense of validation that can only come with reaching 100 likes on an Instagram post. “I just want to thank everyone who took less than a second out of their day to double tap my picture,” said Williams. “I’m so honored and want everyone to know that I will be double tapping every single one of their pictures too”. Sources say that Williams is already making plans for her next Instagram post which will feature her dog Lola again except this time on the beach.
a taste for human flesh, and
LEAD We might as well be in fucking Flint CONTINUED FROM FRONT
fucking see how much money we lose every year because of football? We have a $30 million football deficit just so some illiterate douchebags can throw a ball, lose games, and fuck naive freshmen. Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.”
The University will be placing receptacles all around the campuses in the next few days, in order to collect the water bottles. As for the students who have been suffering from the poisonings, they are still in the ICU at Robert Wood Johnson, and doctors say they will soon be dead.
BARRON TRUMP HAS CHUCK E. CHEESE BIRTHDAY, COSTS TAXPAYERS $23 MILLION BY CAILLOU LOVES CHILDREN’S PARTIES Last Saturday, President Donald Trump’s son Barron Trump held his annual birthday party at his favorite restaurant Chuck E Cheese. Early this morning, it was released that the modest birthday party for the now 11-year-old son of the president cost tax payers $2.3 million, sources report. Barron had been looking forward to this party for over six months now, as he was finally granted permission from the First Lady Melania Trump to host his party at CEC. “Yeah, I invited all of my friends, and I’m really excited,” stated a visibly cheery Barron Trump, oblivious to the enormous financial burden his birthday will place on the American public. “Every year I ask for a Chuck E [Cheese] party, and I’m really happy they finally
said ‘yes.’” An anonymous financial advisor to the White House helped break down the costs of the party for us. “Barron requested the ‘Mega Super Star’ party package. At $26.99 a child, and with 28 children attending, that’s $755.72 right off the bat. Then, two value deals were purchased for the adults, and a salad for the First Lady, which was an additional $77.97. Additionally, cost of secret service protection for the president’s family, as well as protected transportation for all party goers, plus blocking off city traffic within a one mile radius from the party cost the taxpayers approximately $2.29 million.” Although Barron’s birthday is on March 20, the party was pushed back to Saturday, as it’s a more conventional day to have a party, and would ideally be less of a nuisance for commuters trying to get to
The Daily Medium
Wednesdays: Room 411B, College Ave Student Center 7:45 pm
work. The party lasted for three hours, averaging a little under $29 thousand dollars a second. Party guest Devin Mullen Jr, 12, said it was either the second or third best party he’s ever gone to. In a poll conducted on our site, 41% of voters thought the cost was too large, 35% thought Barron deserved the party, and 24% were unsure how they felt. Barron claimed the party a success, stating he got a new Nintendo Switch, Minecraft merchandise, Nerf guns, a lava lamp, and various gift cards. In total, his gifts are valued at $652, an infinitesimal amount compared to the cost of the party. Barron also managed to take a picture with the Chuck E Cheese mascot, and will soon be displayed in the Smithsonian Institution, as well as the White House.
Where’s the Beat: Rutgers New Brunswick Beat Maps by Campus BY G. O. Graph I LIKE MAPS
Not much is going on on Livingston, which is why there’s a lot of beating off...especially in the Quads.
Just because Douglass is the women’s campus doesn’t mean they can jill-off. And there’s always the barns.
Above: It’s not surprising that there’s a lot more being hit than books. Right: Let’s not beat around the bush, that’s all that goes on in Busch-especially the all male dorm.
The Daily Medium
OPINIONS
Page 6
Conservatives have to continue on together.
March 29, 2017
“Trash on, trash off!”
CONSERVATIVE COLD TAKES
SAWYER
DANIELLE MISFORMURDER
I
’ve been reading into Conservatism recently, and I realized, that we need to stay together. Recently, we’ve been attacked by libtards, snowflakes and all those other rational, respectful people who have proper views that don’t discriminate or hate entire ethnic groups. They may think what they’re doing is correct, but they are absolutely wrong. We need to stay together. I’m sure you’re fully aware that this is obvious but it needs to be reiterated. Think about conservatism not staying together. In that case, we won’t even be conservatives anymore. I want you to understand that I am conservative not because I want to be, but because I need to be. Without conservatism, what will conservatives do? Probably continue to be conservative but that’s not the point. The point is that without conservatism...well shit. I just want to take this one paragraph to talk about Conservative Cold Subs, my new business venture. It will be similar to Subway, Quiznos or Jimmy John’s, but there will only be cold subs, none of that hot sub bullshit. Hot subs are for minorities. So come down to Conservative Cold Subs, where minorities use the back door. Anyway, back to the article. I want you to understand that Reagan was a good guy. So was H.W, read my lips, no new taxes! Remember, that’s what conservatism is about, it’s about living in the past and not accepting the future. Paul Ryan needs our help, and I know that we are going to stay together, because conservatism is about staying together, as white males, to help prevent all those other ethnic, racial and religious groups from getting equal footing in society. As long as we stick together, we can keep all those groups down, and make ourselves stay atop society, our whiteful spot. Also, just one more time, come down to Conservative Cold Subs, for more Conservative Cold Takes. We know you want to keep agreeing with the intelligence that oozes out of my mouth. I am a wise wise woman, and you should come down to my sandwich emporium to keep hearing my intelligence. I love you all, shoutout to Tomi Lahren, the original conservative cold take genius. Danielle Misformurder is a Junior studying Reaganomics in the School of Arts and Sciences. She has no original thoughts and once a week, on Wednesdays, is able to come up with an incredibly unintelligent and unoriginal column about conservatives.
EDITORIAL
Those with AIDs who have sex, donate blood do not have to disclose disease. Since the mid-twentieth century, HIV/AIDS has killed about 39 million people. However, despite the prevalence of the disease, few people are often informed about it. HIV is a virus that affects the immune system by attacking vital cells, allowing the body to become progressively more vulnerable to infections. Over time, HIV can lead to the disease known as AIDS, which is the eighth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 25 and 34. The effects of this awful diseases are not lost on anyone, and despite what some may believe, the Senate is not trying to dampen the seriousness of this disease. While state lawmakers may be trying to pass a law that would decrease the criminalization of those who are afflicted with the disease and have unprotected sex without disclosing, it is ridiculous to think that this issue is being “downplayed.” Let’s start with this: when a person donates blood they are usually given a series of short tests to check their iron levels, as well as checking to see if the donor is ill. Despite this, there are certain things that cannot be detected immediately, including
HIV/AIDS. Therefore, while a person may be allowed to donate blood that very day, it does not always mean that blood may be used. So I will spell this out. The fucking Red Cross does not just accept blood and then give it Johnny from the Block without testing it. Donated blood is always tested for disease. Here’s another thing, it is going to be a misdemeanor to infect someone with the disease. But can we think about the fact that HIV can remain latent for years after the initial exposure. SO yes, it is wrong to knowingly infect someone with such a life-threatening disease, but not every case is so black and white. Also, the Senate is just a lot fucking smarter than some college journalists, ok? Honestly, I am just way too annoyed to even continue. I know my rant doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I am being passionate!!! Fuck you guys, fuck anyone who disagrees with me. I hate you all. Seriously, you know that they test for AIDS when people donate blood. Are you fucking serious right now? ☐
The Daily Medium’s editorials represent the views of the majority of the 149th Daily Targum Editorial Board. Columns, cartoons and letters might reflect the views of The Medium staff. First Amendment motherfuckers.
The Daily Medium RutgersTheMedium.wordpress.com // Facebook: The Medium // Twitter & Instagram: @TheMediumRU
March 29, 2017
The Daily Medium
Opinions Page 7
I Do Not Believe in Conspiracy Theories Remember when I said that you got to research something to disagree with it? I bet you do, you’re ALTERNATIVE a smart cookie, man. You see, I’ve TRUTHS researched every conspiracy theory I could get my hands on for the Louis Moreson past decade or so and I think I’ve made a startling discovery. Before I isten man. I don’t know how get to this, let me just state that by into conspiracy theories you researching this, I know I’ve already get, man. 9/11, Kennedy’s assasmade enemies, and I know that by sination, aliens, Flat Earth, Area writing and publishing this, they will 51, and of course, the entirety of Judaism. I’m pretty well versed in come after me. I do not fear them, conspiracy theories, man. But let me the truth must be out there, however, to protect myself, by the time you get just say, I might know a lot about them, but that’s only because you’ve to read this, I will have attempted to flee to somewhere safe. If I am got to research something if you found dead, know that no matter don’t agree with it. It helps build your case against it even more. You what THEY say, I was murdered. know what I’m talking about man? I Tell my story, spread awareness, bet you do. But if you don’t, let me man. Are you ready for my gamespell it out for you. changing discovery? Conspiracy the-
L
I’m Having a Spiritual Crisis SCARLET AURA! CALLISTA MOONCHILD
I
’ve been really into energy and chakras for most of my life. I wanted to go to Tibet or wherever to learn more about string theory after high school but my parents are doctors. So here I am at Rutgers giving pre-med a shot. I am taking chemistry 161 right now and I have to say its a very one sided class. Science is a belief system, much like Christianity or September 11, 2001; It’s unverifiable and all rests in theory. In chemistry, we are taught by these “professors,” that all substances are composed of different combinations of these things called atoms which are made up of “some-atomic-particles”. Only three things make up the entire world? Yeah, okay. I can easily name three things other than protons, neutrons, and electrons that exist right now. I tried telling this to my class and there was a great silence before an onslaught of laughter. I was then told that all we were learning was scientific fact and that atoms were very real and they made
up everything tangible. Oh really? I’ve never seen an atom in my life and I don’t know a single person that has. I asked my professor to show me an atom and he couldn’t. Even though I clearly won the argument I was dismissed. You know, my soul came to this country in the form of a human baby because I wanted to enjoy religious freedom just like everyone else. I see now that so many people subscribe to science that true ideological freedom cannot be found here. I emailed my professor telling him I don’t believe in this stuff and that my exams have to be adjusted accordingly. When the day of the exam came I found no response to my message. Taking the test I could only answer along the lines of what I knew to be true. Every question was multiple choice though and I don’t believe in limitations like that so I wrote an essay on how the entirety of the universe is really made up of energies like fire and spirit force. I should get a decent grade I think. If not, then I am going straight to the dean. I am a strong lion spirit and I will find my have my beliefs respected. Callista Moonchild is a 5th year Senior studying Eastern Philosophy in the School of Arts and Sciences.
ories aren’t real man. Every conspiracy theory is actually fabricated by Reynolds and the other foil companies. They know that if they create these conspiracy theories, people will buy more of their product because everyone knows that the aluminum and tin foil that conspiracy theorists wear on their heads block out radio waves from the government, aliens and the Jews. That’s false. We think that that’s what goes on, but in reality, those companies are working with those groups and the foils actually amplify those waves, man. Big Foil is in on all of this because they know their products, that they created in labs, without gods, can allow people to track conspiracy theorists. They let the government and the Jews do this because they know that they will sell more foil. Big Foil is the main creator of these conspiracy theories.
They are making billions every year in sales from those crazy conspiracy theorists who believe all that crap. I know that you might think I’m crazy, but I know this is real, and I know that you deserve to know this, man. Conspiracy theorists are all insane and they deserve to know this. They need to know that Big Foil is brainwashing them into buying foil so they can make money and so the Aliens and Jews get the information they need to control the planet and our minds. Please, let everyone know what is going on. Everyone needs to know that Big Foil is behind everything. We can put a stop to this. Conspiracy theory nut jobs are crazy, but they are people too, man. They need to know that Big Foil is benefitting from them, man. Trust me. Big Foil is evil, we can save the world from Big Foil, man.
Sweaty Handjobs are the Best RUB A TUG TUG. ARIELLA ANTOINETTE
M
y wise older brother always told me that sweat is nature’s lubricant. I would agree. Why go out of your way lubing up, when a little bit of awkwardness and insecurity with your body will do the job? In my wide range of handy experiences, I have seen the Sahara desert of hands to the Everglade swamp of hands and I have to say that a wet hand is better than a dry one. There is just something nice about a slippery eel of a hand, which reduces the risk of chafing or blistering. And a hand is rarely cold
if it’s sweating, so there’s not a chance of a chill. Not to mention, the smell of raw human sweat turns me ON. You know the old expression “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. Well, a sweaty hand is always worth more, especially in the bush. As a result, whenever I go to fuel my wise brother’s rocket. I always make sure before hand I message the crush of mine so I get my hands nice and sweaty. My brother appreciates it the most. Ariella is a sophomore in the School of Engineering. She has severe anxiety issues. She spends a lot of time with her brother, Kevin, and her cat, Jubbles. She is currently studying Biomedical Engineering, with a minor in self-pity. Her number is (201)-407-5704.
YOUR VOICE The Daily Medium welcomes submissions from all readers. Due to space limitations, letters to the editor must not be exceed 500 words; we do make exceptions for letters of length between 575 and 600 words. Submit your content via e-mail to: themedium.opinions@gmail.com!
Page 8
DIVERSIONS
Crossword
March 29, 2017
Use the space below to make your own clues Down 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 14. 16. 19. 20. 22. 23. 24. 27. 28. 30. 33. 35. 40. 43. 46. 47. 48. Across 1. 5. 11. 12. 13. 15. 17. 18. 20. 21. 23. 25. 26. 29. 31. 32. 34. 36. 37. 40. 41. 42. 44. 45. 49. 50. 51. 52. Cancer (June 22-July 22) - You will get cancer in the next decade, which is fitting considering your astrological sign. Get your affairs in order. Also, you need to enjoy sitting now while you can because its butt cancer. The worst kind of cancer, just like you. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) - You will wake up in the morning, eat some sort of consumable, sit in a chair, have sex at some point in the next year, take a piss sometime in the next three days, and your hair and fingernails will grow slightly. Throughout your little sexcapade you’ll notice that you contracted gonorrhea and I promise that it is purely from coincidence that your dad also happened to contract gonorrhea at the same time, no biggie.
Horoscopes Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) The dining hall will face a shortage of your favorite food or drink. Hopefully your favorite drink isn’t water. Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20) - You will go on a spontaneous road trip to North Dakota with your best friend, a Chinese transvestite prostitute named Fred. Along the way you will find, and immediately lose track of, the mythical city of Atlantis. Gemini (May 21-June 21) You will be caught masturbating by someone close to you. If you’re lucky, it’ll be a pet. If you’re unlucky, it’ll be a grandparent. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - You know that rake at your parent’s house? Keep an eye on it. I hear that rakes have been selling for a pretty penny on the black market lately. You would’nt want something that powerful to fall into the wrong hands. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) - Next time you get completely shitfaced, you will feel no negative effects the next morning. Feel free to take those 7 shots before your 8 A.M. calculus exam, for example. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) - Stock up on peanut butter as soon as possible, it could be the difference between your life as you know it, and losing an appendage. Make sure its Jiff peanut butter and none of that organic crap. You’re gonna need all the genetically modified crap you can get your hands on. Soon. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) -A duck will soon become relevant in your life, and an extremely positive one at that. But it is going to be a horse sized duck, and not 100 of them but 1000 of them. That saying needs to die. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - A large amount of snow is in your future. Isn’t that wonderful? Also the next day it is going to be hot as fuck and there is nothing you can do about it. Also, you’re mom is going to get fucked.
PILL SNORTZ
Spectral Gumball Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) - Approach the first person you see wearing the color orange, they could eventually become a good friend. Do not however approach anyone who happens to be wearing pink. That is the devil’s color and and if you associate with the devil you will end up in heaven and no one wants that. Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) - You will face a great evil this week, such as a child molester, person with autism, or a guy who talks in the theater. Be prepared for anything. Also, keep a gun on hand if you encounter any of these people. Especially the person with autism, those fuckers are slippery.
COME TO OUR MEETINGS YO!
WEDNESDAYS AT 7:45PM IN ROOM 411B, CASC!
Diversions Page 9
March 29, 2017
Calvin and Hobbes
Bill Watterson
Curtis
Recap
Gazorpazorpfield *
Garfield
Jim Davis
Jim Davis
COME TO OUR MEETINGS YO! WEDNESDAYS AT 8:00PM IN ROOM 120B, BCC! * The Gazorpazorp field comic is not ours, we just really enjoy the comic :)
Classifieds
Page 10 How to Write a Personal
March 29, 2017
1. Think of something, anything. Literally it can be anything. I cannot stress this enough. 2. Get good and angry, possibly even hangry. The best writing comes when you are full of rage and nothing else. 3. Write down your thoughts in some sort of body of text, preferably white, college-ruled paper. If you must type it out, please only use the font Lucida Sans. I can’t stand anything else. 4. Wait and see if your personal is featured in The Medium. (It won’t).
Announcements • Statements of the Obvious • Shit no one cares about
Shit You Need Done • Shit You Want to Do • People You Want to Do • What I Do?
Real Advertising Rates Real Advertisement: Sick of the Targum and their grayed out space? Advertise with us and shove it in their face!
Personals:
Send ads to themedium.personals@gmail.com from your Rutgers E-Mail Account only.
1
Somewhere to Live • Somewhere to Be • Somewhere to go • To Call Your Home
Items for Sale Items for Give Items for Theft
/4 page
Article Mentioning Your Business
Other Options
5” x 4”
5” x 7.75”
Short Article
???
$45.00
$75.00
$75.00
Contact Us
/8 page
1
You Are Fake News
That’s it. I cannot stand around in silence anymore as I see basketball hoops getting constantly penetrated by black guys’ balls. Sometimes two guys at a time! As thousands of people stand around and cheer! It’s sick and needs to come to an end.
Get your meningitis shot today! It hurts, it takes a long time and there is no certainty that you will not get meningitis after the three doses. Sign up today or go to your local Walgreens. NOT CVS!
LOOKING FOR A NEW PRESIDENT.
MUST
BE
This Is Funny
AN AMERICAN, GOOD
bands all over the world claim audio feedback is just part of the song.
READ AT A 7TH GRADE
Person at the College Avenue Student Center doesn’t say have a good day, student has awful day. Frat dude heard saying he never throws up, seconds after he throws up.
Confirmed: Hilary Clinton does some soul searching, finds nothing.
WITH HIS HANDS AND LEVEL. WOMEN NEED NOT APPLY. I SAID PRES-
WHERE WILL YOU FIND MORE DICK PICS?
I got a job for someone ;) if you know what I mean. I have an oral presentation that I don’t want to do. Looking for someone to eat my wife out. Pays well and it’s not that hard. I know I won’t be.
Not Real Estate Looking for a roommate that doesn’t snore? How about one that is really clean and doesn’t watch porn in the wee hours of the night on an above average volume? Then keep scrolling buddy Old School vs. New School because I am all of those things and I will never change. Serious inquiries only, fax me at my fax machine (123) FUCK-OFF.
VOTE NOW
Nope
Just a grand- DO YOU NEED A SAFE SPACE TO ma looking LIVE? Super cute I have a big for love. I apartment with some black bag tried using that needs to super great gals! Tinder, but be taken care Pretty cheap also if all I found of. Preferyou’re interested. I’m were dick ably lookDESPERATE and pics. This ing for an super cute. seems safer. Italian-American named Frankie. Answer quick, it’s starting to smell.
Looking to sell this Family
Guy idea. It’s a cutaway after Peter says “it was tening to two Jersey guys argue about Taylor ham and pork roll.” “It’s pork roll!” “It’s Taylor ham!” “It’s pork roll!” “It’s Taylor ham!” “It’s pork roll!” And then Peter jumps into frame and says “It doesn’t
Keys to Success
Looking for two strong men who can clean my pipes. My pipes are really dirty and need to be cleansed. I need a good spanking too. Spank me and clean my pipes, daddy. Talk to my agent about my rates.
IDENT, NOT SECRETARY.
more annoying than lis-
matter!” FOX, I’m waiting.
No, I’m Sorry So, I took some adderall and wrote my entire term paper People have to stop apolwithout looking ogizing for accidentally up from the keybumping into me. Apoloboard but I forgot to click my cursor gize for smelling terrible onto the word docu- or because you spit when ment. you talk.
The Daily Medium 126 College Ave., Room 411B New Brunswick, NJ 08901 732-932-3930
“ - Your friendly neighborhood Personals Editor
HandJOBS
March Sadness
Screaming • Moaning • Whining • Groaning • Reading • Writing • Fighting • Flighting
THE MEDIUM MEETS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 7:45 PM IN ROOM 411B OF THE CASC. TELL US WHAT YOU VOTED FOR.
Continued from Sports Employment
Football coach Samuel Wettburg recalls the first day under the new program, “So Hobbs just walks into the locker room with ten prostitutes and tells the players to go nuts. No pep-talk, no game plan, just lets them fuck hookers.” Hobbs defends his new program saying that it provides athletes with a much need confidence boost and promotes physical fitness telling the press that “Look, with how their seasons have gone many of these guys haven’t touched a woman in months. I’m trying to have our guys get as much action as those from other colleges. Have you see that porno with that lineman from Michigan?” When it comes the working girls that have joined the program have expressed gratitude towards the opportunity. Long time prostitute Sapphire calls the program a “Really good deal, most of the time we get old bankers and US senators. It’s nice to be with kids to put some effort in and finish quickly.” New Brunswick PD has made no attempts to remove the prostitution ring for most of the department “feels for the kids” and have decided to let it slide. Continued from Sports Carolina As the end of the tournament draws near, many Carolinians have begun to make their way towards the stadiums marching along the streets in show of team and state pride. Eager and excited fans dressed in military camo in support of our troops have already begun reaching the North and South Carolinian border. Fireworks can be seen and heard from a distance while the smell of barbeque can be smelt in the air, even in the dead of night. Sadly The Medium was denied any coverage from the festivities as we apparently did not have enough protection, furthering the notion that these celebrations are of historic proportions.
Page 11
March 29, 2017 DOUBLE PENETRATION
Mets owner mandates two-hot dog minimum for all team members wanting to play game BY STEPHEN A. SMIFF STILL AWAKE
Fred Wilpon, the majority owner of the New York Mets, announced in a press release that all team members must buy two hot dogs from the concessions and eat them before each home game in order to be eligible to play in that day’s game. “We are excited by this new idea and are looking forward toward tracking its success throughout the season,” said Wilpon, who owns 52 percent of the Mets. “This will put a pep in our players’ steps and a boost to my wallet. Wilpon, unaffectionately nicknamed Fred “Coupon”, is roundly criticized by Mets fans as a cheap owner. This newest ploy only adds fuel to the fire. “Fuck that guy,” said lifelong Mets fan Tony Rendozza, 42. “What a jamoke. First he gives all his money to Madoff. Then he won’t pay for a good team. Now he’s filling our players with fuckin’ mystery meat. This fucking guy. I tell
ya.” According to stastica. com, a hot dog at Citi Field costs a league-high $6.25 last season. That would equate to an extra $312.50 every game if the 25-man roster participates in this new plan. “How am I supposed to play like this,” said first baseman Lucas Duda. “I’m already fat enough. Plus, I suck. Add hot dogs to the mix and I’ll be farting all game. Actually, that might help. I might wind up knocking the catcher out with my ‘noxious fumes. This may actually be a pretty good idea.” When asked why he decided to institute this new hot dog rule, Wilpon told reporters it was more than a marketing ploy or a way to line his pockets.
“Who doesn’t love hot dogs,” said a barely understandable Wilpon as he shoved an entire Nathan’s hot dog in his mouth, childishly covering his face and hands with ketchup. “This is just fun, right? Baseball is supposed to be fun. The guys in the dugout can just sit there and eat hot dogs and laugh. It’s not about winning; it’s about hot dogs.” According to reports, team trainers are seriously considered about both short- and long-term effects of constant hot dog consumption. In-game cramps will apparently be more common, and a possible spike in cholesterol will make an already-sluggish Mets defense even slower. While this decision has been almost universally panned, one player seems to be in favor of the idea. “Wait, two hot dogs,” said Bartolo Colon, former Mets pitcher and current member of the Atlanta Braves.
Hotdogs continue to prove to be the easiest meat based product to sell
FREE FALLIN’
Extreme Bungie Jumping: The Life of Jorge Rijarti BY THROB LOWE RESIDENT GAY
In the fall of 93’, during the 47th annual Bungie Jumping Baby Festival, a legend was born. Jorge Rijarti, the first baby to survive having an umbilical cord wrapped around his neck while being projected from the uterus of his mother. It was a sight unseen in all the years of the festival. All eyes were on the newborn, concealed in amniotic fluid, a noose around his neck. Camera flashes bombarded the bridge, ready to capture the bulging eyes of Jorge’s first and last moments of life. At full extension, young Rijarti attempted to wail his first breath, the umbilical preventing the air from leaving his lungs. Instead of wailing Jorge did something unseen to this day. His mouth propped open and he began to gnaw relentlessly at the cord. After what seemed to be an eternity he was finally free. The crowd on the bridge roared in applause, flashes of light flooding the newborns eyes. That day changed the face of the Bungie Jumping Baby Festival (B.J.B.F.). Jorge would forever be revered as the Asphyxiation Sensation. His sudden fame paved way for merchandise, a clothing line, and his portrait on the Wheaties box. As Jorge grew older he began to resent his celebrity, pick-
ing up the usual habits of famous children. At six he began huffing glue sticks, which eventually evolved into a full out sharpie sniffing addiction by the age of ten. By thirteen Jorge had gone off the grid, completely shutting himself from the world of B.J.B.F in hopes of defining himself as more than his neardeath experience at birth. Five years passed with no sightings of Jorge, until 2011 when he emerged from the depths of isolation with a threedisc mixtape. He refused to be called by his birthname, but instead insisted on being addressed as his new musical persona, Jugular Restrictor. J.R.’s self-titled mixtape was received poorly by the critics, but had a cult following among the underground S&M scene. This was due to the first disc of the album just being a mix of crying babies and the sounds of J.R. squirming and gasping for air. The second disc reflected the darker tones of his life mirroring the sounds of 90’s grunge rock with tracks titled “Out of Utero” and “Al-
Jorge Rijarti making his historic jump at age six and a half as his new musical persona, Jugular Restrictor. J.R.’s self-titled mitape was received poorly by the critics, but had a cult following among the underground S&M scene. This was due to the first disc of the album just being a mix of crying babies and the sounds of J.R. squirming and gasping for air. The second disc reflected the darker tones of his life mirroring the sounds of 90’s grunge rock with tracks titled “Out of Utero” and “Alice’s Chains Around My Neck”. Jugular bookended the trilogy with a final disc full of show-
tunes narrating his life’s story, the final track properly titled “I Can Breathe”. After the mild success of his first mixtape, J.R. released another album soon after titled “Asphyxiation Sensation” in his final attempt of recapturing his Baby Bungie Jumping followers. His waning popularity and relevance was reflected in the sales of the album which was the catalyst to Jorge’s eventual suicide attempt. It was during the Bungie Jumping Baby Festival of 2013. Jorge attempted to take his life on the very same bridge he was born. Jorge went to the festival for one purpose. To end it all. Cam-
The Daily Medium
Wednesdays: Room 411B, College Ave Student Center 7:45 pm
eras blared in Jorge’s retinas blinding him, the shouts and screams from the crowd blurred in his ears as he watched the bridge disappear behind his eyelids. Jorge felt a crash, his bones broken. His eyes opened to find the bridge was only thirty feet above him. He had been caught by a bridge net, which was now a standard for bridge construction. The crowd roared in laughter as Jorge’s eyes became flooded with tears. Completely humiliated he drew his last breath and with that uttered his final words, “I Can Breathe”.
TWITTER: @TheMediumRU WEBSITE: rutgersthemedium.wordpress.com BLOG: whoblogsanymore.com
RUTGERS UNIVERSITY—NEW BRUNSWICK
Sports WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 2017
QUOTE OF THE DAY “Sports is a practice of patience. Greatness comes from failure.” —Former Rutgers Basketball Coach Eddie Jordan
ONLINE AT RUTGERSTHEMEDIUM.WORDPRESS.COM
Hobbs hires staff to boost athlete performance BY KEVIN MCCLINTOCK
more specialized staff to begin taking more of a personal roles in the operations of the teams. These experts hired out of New York City will help boost performance by working directly with the players to help them perform better as col-
SPORTS EDITOR
Following the close to the Men’s Basketball season, Athletic Director Patrick Hobbs announced to Rutgers fans that he will begin getting professionals to work more intimately with the major Rutgers sports in an effort to help build better teams in the upcoming fall seasons. The atmosphere surrounding Rutgers athletics has been dower since the move to the Big Ten. Despite the success of both Men’s Wrestling and Lacrosse, student and fan turnout has been uncommonly low in the schools big earners Football and Basketball. Under a myriad of scandals and team restructuring, poor performance has resulted in a student body who are wholly negative towards the two largest college sports. Hobbs told reporters that he has taken note of the current stigma of these sports teams and their impact on ticket sales. “It’s not been an easy few years” Hobbs remarked, “With the physical abuse of basketball players by a coach and the arrest of seven football players for burglary, moral among the students has soured. The players notice it the most.” As part of a new initiative set by Athletic Director Hobbs, he will begin hiring
lege athletes and as students. Working both one-on-one and in groups, Hobbs hopes these new staff members will be the foundation of building more productive sports programs by fostering better student athletes.
Many coaches have expressed doubts about Hobbs’s new method as it could conflict with the programs already set in. SEE EMPLOYMENT ON PAGE 10
SEE TRACK ON PAGE 13
Athletic Director Patrick Hobbs announcing his innovative new strategy to help give BIG TEN Rutgers a big boost
SEE EMPLOYMENT ON PAGE 10
Carolinas boil over with excitement as Final Four nears BY KEVIN MCCLINTOCK SPORTS EDITOR
With the March Madness coming to a close, this tourney has already kept up its name-sake with enough upsets and close calls to ruin anyone’s bracket. While the entire nation is getting caught up in the action, no two areas are more elated than the Carolinas. Both North and South Carolina have teams in the Final Four and with luck will see a Carolina vs Carolina championship. Many areas of the Carolinas have already begun to prepare for the impending festivities for what looks to be the biggest celebration the states have had in recent history.
Many Carolinians have begun rushing into markets gathering food for the upcoming games. Stores like Walmart and Target have reported that sales of food stuffs have jumped to historic numbers only seen in times of natural disasters. A large number of firecrackers and other explosive entertainment have also been sold presumably for the festivities to follow. With all the excitement, many fans have also gone to get into the team spirit with oil sales in the states going up drastically. Sales of firearms have also increased, but this my be attributed to political climate rather than athletic climate. SEE CAROLINA ON PAGE 10 EXTRA POINT
NBA SCORES
Cleveland San Antonio
86 74
Oklahoma City Dallas
1889 1841
New York Detroit
42 -6
Orlando Toronto
0 0
Memphis Sacramento
73 TBD
New Orleans Utah
69 Utah
GARY NOVA,
former starting QB, now plays for the Canadian Football League. Continuing to work towards playing for a real football team, Nova has begun overcoming his faults about three years late
KNIGHTS SCHEDULE
WOMEN’S LACROSSE
SOFTBALL
WRESTLING
M&W TRACK
vs. Niagara
at Hofstra
with your other
Route 18
All Day Your Bed
Thursday, 4:00 p.m. New Brunswick
Yesterday, 7:00 PM Today, 4:00 PM High Point Solutions Hempstead, N.Y.