You’re Too Poor To Appreciate Music

ByAnitaMandaHugankiss

It's the same every year: from nominee choice to award decisions, the Grammys are mired in controversy. Whether it's anger about an artist's snub, controversy about genre placement, or comments on "nepo babies" and "industry plants", it seems everyone has some bone to pick. This article isn’t about those squabbles, though. Most people don't realize, but a real-deal critical analysis requires a true listen to the music as it was intended. To put it out there: if you are listening on poor-quality audio equipment, you have no right commenting on a track’s engineering. That's why I decided to review this year’s best-of on the broken headphones I found while digging through my junk drawer.

First up were my 1MORE Triple Driver Bluetooth IEM's. I checked out Alvvays' new album Blue Rev with them. Beautiful. The emphasis on mid-range helped to show off the fullness of her voice while still showcasing her vulnerability to an attuned listener. While avoiding the muddiness of bass-heavy products, there was plenty of umph to lend power when needed. Overall, it’s an amazing album which can only be fully appreciated on such a fantastic earbud. I didn't pluralize it because the other earbud wouldn't play music and just emitted a horrific static hiss, leaving me with permanent tinnitus. On second thought that might have just been the new T-Swift track. Direct your hate mail to Anita.Manda. Hugankiss@rutgers.edu.

Next was a free pair from a Delta flight. This was a perfect example of what can go wrong when using broke-boy-ass gadgets. I was trying to check out Beyonce's Renaissance, but really couldn't get past how uncomfortable the fit of the plastic set was. I didn’t finish the listen, but I look forward to checking it out in two weeks when the doctor says the wounds heal!

Editor's note:

This is all we have for now. Anita tried to review the Skull Candies their older brother gave them in 2007, but they just discharged the entire phone battery straight into her ears. Pray for her.

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