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*PUBLISHED WEEKLY
December 1st, 2021
VOLUME CDXX ISSUE LXIX 69¢ STUPID SEXY CORONAVIRUS
COVID-19 GOES TO GYM, DELETES FACEBOOK, STARTS A NEW BUSINESS MICHAEL C. HAWKE VACCINATED AS FUCK
Reports have recently come in from South Africa regarding a new coronavirus variant that has now been called ‘Omicron.' As of now, it has already been spotted in a handful of nations, such as Germany, the UK, Belgium, and more. The variant in question has, so far, eluded scientists in its origins, with the main theory being that it originated as a result of infecting an immunocompromised person. The reality, however, is far scarier (and simultaneously simpler) than initially thought. It turns out that the coronavirus hasn’t mutated, but merely has sought to improve itself, both mentally and physically. As a result of this recent change, we have decided to hold an interview with the coronavirus in its most recent form, to try and
figure out just why it decided to go through such changes. This brief interview was conducted live at the coronavirus’ home, as the virus refused to do so virtually. Upon first greeting the virus, who asked to be called Mr. Corona, it was immediately noticed that the virus had packed
on some muscle, with its 6’ 5” figure almost akin to a Greek God. For this interview, we asked him a simple question: why the change? His response: “Yeah, well, the numbers I’ve been hitting this last year just haven’t been cutting it for me. Continued on Page 2
BRR, BITCH!
MARIAH CAREY FINALLY RELEASED FROM CRYOGENIC CHAMBER FOR CHRISTMAS PENELOPE P. UZZY BRR, IT'S COLD IN HERE
With Thanksgiving having recently ended and Christmas coming closer, it’s that time of year again for Christmas songs to blare through every single store intercom, radio station, and concert around the nation, making clerks around the world contemplate suicide. It is also that time of year, coincidentally, that Mariah Carey has stepped out of her cryogenic chamber. Following Thanksgiving, reports came out that the famous singer, known primarily for her hit song, "All I Want For Christmas Is You," has been sighted around the grounds of the CIA’s headquarters in Langley, VA. This is not the first time that she has been seen in
Langley, as sightings similar to this asked CIA representatives about one go as far back as the beginning the sighting, they had nothing to of Mariah Carey’s career. When we Continued on Page 2
Wanting to Fuck Viruses Since 1970
QUICKIES
Santa Claus Vaccinated From COVID Man Rises From Food Coma After One Week With Finals Closing In, Students Procrastinate At Rate of 9000% WHO Forgets Greek Alphabet Order Student Gets Fucked By RU But Not in a Sexy Way Obvious Murderers Gets Charged With Murder Student Brutally Murdered By Busch Geese Ghislane Maxwell's 'Suicide' Has Been Planned For Following Year
the Medium
NEWS
"All I want for Christmas is cynanide."
CORONA-SENPAI, PLEASE RAIL ME WHY IS COVID-19 HOT AS FUCK? See, when I started this whole gig, I just wanted to spread the love the best I could, and so far, I’ve been doing alright, at least from what my people have been telling me, but I think I could do better. That’s why for the past few months, I’ve been on an international journey of selflove. First, I deleted Facebook, it’s nothing but poison for you! Second, I began hitting the gym right away! It was hard at first, since no one wanted to be near me, but I persisted nonetheless! I heard it was the best way to improve your attitude towards life. Finally, I decided to begin my own business, get my finances in order, all of that shit! As of last
...continued from front
month, I began selling this little product called ivermectin, and sales have just been through the fucking roof! Speaking of which, would you perhaps be interested, my good man?” Shortly after this interview, Mr. Corona stated that he would, in conjunction with his new self-help book, How I Spread The Love (And How You Can Too!), would also begin a motivational speaking tour across the United States, with its first stop being in Miami.
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
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EVERYBODY, CHILL! MAY GOD HELP THE STORE CLERKS comment, which forced us to have an interview with Carey herself. Over the course of several drinks (the tab ran approximately $500), she opened up to having cut a deal with the Central Intelligence Agency that, in exchange for being able to use their cryogenic facilities in order to help 'maintain her beauty,' she would personally write and sing several songs for the CIA to use for interrogation purposes. One song that arose due to this deal was none other than "All I Want For Christmas Is You." At the end of the conversation, she said that once Christmas passes for the year, she will return to Langley for cryogenic storage until next year's holiday.
WHERE AM I? WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
enim, id vulputate massa ex at eros. Vestibulum rhoncus, augue in porttitor euismod, leo dolor BY: JOE BIDEN dignissim mi, sed feugiat enim diam ac mi. Mauris vitae lacus aliquam, pellentesque nunc at, scelerisque nisl. Pellentesque suscipit mauris enim, vitae ultricies neque vulputate et. Quisque id est eu erat consectetur molestie. Suspendisse nec tempor nibh, sit amet elementum urna. Quisque suscipit ultrices finibus. Aliquam et eros iaculis, tristique orci non, vestibulum arcu. Phasellus malesuada porta magna ac tempor. Proin vitae neque nunc. Maecenas in velit id ligula feugiat luctus non placerat Lorem ipsum dolor sit et efficitur. Vestibulum ante tortor. Donec accumsan amet, consectetur adipiscing ipsum primis in faucibus orci elit. Quisque molestie et luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia diam lacus, vitae eleifend tortor posuere ac. Aenean in diam nec consectetur. Sed a curae; Mauris lobortis tortor elementum lectus. Sed eu felis nibh tortor. Donec ultricies, eget tempus interdum. Nam a urna eleifend accumsan. lacus eu mattis pellentesque, ultricies posuere malesuada. Donec non arcu lectus. Fusce turpis est aliquet tellus, ac Phasellus sit amet nisi erat. mattis ex ipsum id velit. Proin volutpat, lacus ut aliquet libero sem, facilisis nec nisi at, feugiat egestas urna. Maecenas Etiam rhoncus rutrum ex tempus, lectus sapien molestie
JOE BIDEN FORGOT
accumsan vehicula metus. Nunc aliquam nec quam nec vehicula. Curabitur a sapien auctor, auctor orci ut, rutrum quam. Vivamus sed pulvinar ipsum. Maecenas facilisis at leo sit amet pretium. Aenean congue nibh ac turpis blandit tincidunt. Pellentesque finibus enim diam, vitae ornare ipsum tempor sit amet. Fusce mollis tortor vel mi ullamcorper fermentum. Nullam tincidunt sem a velit viverra, a vulputate massa pulvinar. Vivamus in vestibulum quam, aliquet imperdiet nisl. Etiam semper quam tellus, hendrerit pharetra lectus volutpat id. Phasellus sed risus non ipsum bibendum semper vel quis urna. Cras neque libero, pulvinar et arcu vel, mollis ornare tellus. Nulla cursus lobortis ante, at mattis massa. Pellentesque sapien urna, scelerisque sed orci ac, pulvinar feugiat eros. Donec ullamcorper est nec diam convallis, eget posuere enim commodo.
PLEASE COME JOIN US, IT GETS REAL LONELY AROUND THE HOLIDAYS! THEMEDIUM.SUBMISSIONS@GMAIL.COM WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 8:00 IN LSC BOARD ROOM OR ROOM #109
Editorial Staff Fall 2021
Editors-in-Chief Kelly Manniello Quinlan Van Es
Business Manager Amit Ofek Mascot Long-Island Medium
News Editor Features Editor Opinions Editor Personals Editor
Carlos Domenech Kelly Manniello Quinlan Van Es John Mahoney Kiran Subramanian Page A7 Editor Amit Ofek
Sports Editor Copy Editor Secretary Webmaster Resident Douche
Doug Willig Kyle Sabin Carlos Domenech Quinlan Van Es Joe Biden's Dementia
The Medium is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. No article represents the opinion of The Medium or its staff. The Medium is a satire publication and should never be taken seriously. The office of The Medium is located in Livingston Student Center Room 117D. This issue is dedicated to Mariah Carey's frozen ass.
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FEATURES
the Medium
“Zippy & Creamy? Wow.”
LEAVE SOME JUICY ANKLES FOR US
HOPEFULLY IT WASN'T A DRAG
How to Spend the Next Three Weeks of Your Semester By PP Harding
If you’re like me, then you’re stuck on campus until your last and only in-person exam on the afternoon of December 23rd. So, here’s some stuff to do to fill your days and nights until then. 1. Walk into the Ecological Reserve to search for the Livi Coyote. He’s still alive, I just know it! Go into the woods (at night) and leave your sweet, juicy ankles out for him to nibble on. Then, when he gets close enough, you can catch him and keep him as a pet. Now you have some companionship for the next few weeks. 2. Count everyone at Rutgers. Every. Single. Person. Maybe even make a nice graph. That would be nice. You may as well, it’s not like you have anything else to do. 3. Run for office. Which one you may ask? Doesn’t matter. Am I qualified enough? Is anyone really? Run for office, win, get into a scandal, and be impeached like a true American. You’ll come back and still have days to study. 4. Find love. Go on dates. Get married. Have a baby. Grow a big-ass family. Watch your children grow up. Watch your children graduate, find love, and have their own families. Drift away from your children, they’re too busy with their own lives now. Grow old. Watch your lifelong partner die of old age and grieve their loss. The loss brings your family together. You lay on your deathbed, surrounded by loved ones, ready to die. And that should bring you up to the day of your exam.
YOU FOUND US ON THE INTERNET! CONGRATS! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! IT MEANS NOW YOU GET THE SECRET MESSAGE TO JOIN US IN LSC ROOM 109 FOR OUR SECRET SEXY MEETING!
Drag Show Review By Hugh Janus
As you may know, we recently held a school-sponsored drag show! It was a sight to see, to say the least. From the talented bunch that performed, there was literally only one drag queen who performed one song which was a fucking waste of an act. I also never thought I’d see some dude named MOM at a drag show playing the harmonica, guitar, AND all whilst singing, but hey, you learn something new every day. However, the events that transpired after the show were more entertaining. The drag queens that performed fought a blow-up alien. They had some real beef going on and it looked really personal. It seemed as if the alien killed someone’s family right before Thanksgiving and the drag queens were getting back at him. Aside from that, a cardboard cutout of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson with the face of Edward Cullen- yes the dude from Twilight- was being crowd surfed for most of the night. And yes, there were many attempts to steal it. Overall, if you went for the drag show, you had a decent time and you could probably DIY the whole event yourself. TURN THE PAGE WHEN YOU KNOW WHICH
Which Opinions Piece Should You Read? By Harry Nuttsaac
1. Do you have a cocaine problem? A. Yeah, so I do a lot of coke, right? B. No, but I wish I did, living on Busch and all. C. No, but Sinbad did make fun of me and he might’ve been on coke. 2. Do you live on Busch? A. Why, there’s gotta be coke there, right? B. Yeah, and I fucking hate it. C. I’m scared of Busch, I think it’s because Sinbad talked so much about bush. 3. Have you ever been made fun of by a comedian who was really famous in the 90s? A. Maybe, I don’t remember a lot because of the fucking blow, right? B. No, but whoever says yes must be fucking depressed. C. Yes, and I have been depressed ever since.
COME ON IN AND GET COOMED IN ON.
If you got mostly: As: “Does Your Nose Normally Bleed When You do Blow?” Bs: “The Weekly Busch Rant” Cs: “Sinbad Made Fun of Me Once and Now I’m Depressed”
the Medium
OPINIONS
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
"Kelly doesn't remember the joke."
UNIVERSITY VOICES
If you had to pick one professional athlete to kill you, who would you choose?
FUCK YOU, SINBAD
themedium.submissions@gmail.com
Sinbad Made Fun of Me Once and Now I’m Depressed BY HARRY NUTTSAAC
"Ray Rice, because he went to Rutgers and that is all I know about him!" Pener Wener Fighting for the Times
"Michael Vick, because he has experience!" Michelle Yeeter Experienced Pasta Women
"Tom Brady, insert some racist comment here!" Social Justice Warrior Yup this is funny
Y'ALL GOT COKE, RIGHT?
Does Your Nose Normally Bleed When You Do Blow? BY JACK SNIFFEN
Alright so, I do blow a lot, right? Just a shit ton of coke, right? Most nights, I'm up until like three in the fucking morning huffing off a plate in the living room of some fucking guy I hadn't met until that night, right? More often than not, I don't know where the powder is coming from, so it could very well be a supply chain problem, y'know, right? I doubt it, though, cuz even when I do the blow that I get from my brother's girl's cousin's bagel guy (and I trust that bagel guy) my nose has still been bleeding lately, right? I'm starting to think, maybe I've been doing too much coke lately, like, maybe I'm just cutting up the inside of my fucking schnoz, my sniffer, my beak, my nasal orifices, right? I got to admit, maybe I've got a problem, right? They say you can get addicted to the shit, and I've been reluctant to believe it until now, right? Like, all of a sudden, I pretty much need blow to numb the pain after I do blow and my nose starts bleeding, right? I know a guy who died from doing too much blow once and, y'know, he fucking died, so he fucking died and now I worry every time I'm doing blow, right? I'm not gonna lie, John Belushi dying kinda shook me up, y'know, sure, he died a long time before I was even born but still, right?
So when I was something like 14, 15, my dad took me, my brother, and my stepmom to go see Sinbad at Carolines on Broadway. Now, at the time, my hair had already begun to thin out. It was a lot to deal with as a fucking teenager, a few years down the line I just started shaving my head, but I wasn't about to do that yet. This is important to the story, not just me venting about my shitty fucking genes. Anyway, Sinbad starts his fucking show, and the dude is just going on and on about fucking. "I fucked a lot of women, women suck, fucking is my shit," stuff like that. It was kinda boring as a 14-year-old guy. Then, Sinbad got to the point in his show where he is just gonna pick on people in the crowd. Now, I felt kinda safe. We were like three rows back, but kinda on a step up, so we were more so in his line of sight. He fucking points right at my shiny fucking head. I guess I should be happy enough that he knew I wasn't actually just some bald guy, that I was instead a balding kid, but that was no consolation to me then. He asks me right away about my age and then proceeded to get the whole crowd laughing at me. He then continued talking about sex for the rest of the show. Ever since I've been depressed. And bald. I ALSO HATE BUSCH
The Weekly Busch Rant: I'm Not Kira Amethyst BY NOT KIRA AMETHYST
I'm really sorry to disappoint you guys, but I'm not Kira Amethyst. You Not Kira could probably gather that from the title and also from the byline. Despite Amethyst this, I hope that my rage toward Busch will suffice this week. Fuck. Busch. I fucking hate that scummy little shithole with a burning passion hot enough that I wanna take my pants off and start jerking it on the spot. Some people on Busch are okay (nobody whose major requires that they are on Busch all the time is good, though, fuck you) but if you dare defend that shitty campus I will cut my fucking dick off and start swinging. The campus is fucking boring and gray and busy yet empty and lame. Fuck them. If Busch was one of my plentiful dumps, it would be the one I took last Tuesday at 2:46 p.m. You won't get that, but you can probably picture the shit based on it being like Busch. Maybe someday Busch will be redeemable, but not during our lifetimes or our children's lifetimes. How can a campus have so many bus stops yet nothing to go to? At least Cook/Doug, for however fucking boring it is, is pretty. What the fuck does Busch have, a bunch of fucking STEM nerds? I wanna punch each and every single one of those fucking twinky dorks (if you are a twinky dork, though, hit me up). I need some help understanding why people like Busch, so if you are of the opinion that Busch is good or okay or even eh, come meet me at a meeting for The Medium, I promise I just want to talk.
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
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ARTS
"Art is a thing that you do with your butt."
the Medium
SHIT ON THE WALL BY THE MEDIUM
GIFT OF LIFE - CIN DRARIUG
IT'S A HARD LIFE - H NUTTSAAC & PP HARD ING
HI GUYS, ITS ME AGAIN. I KNOW I KNOW, I STILL DON'T SPEAK FRENCH AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT BUT IF YOU SPEAK FRENCH OR WANT TO TEACH ME FRENCH COME TO THE MEDIUM. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT NO ONE HERE SPEAKS FRENCH. BUT YOURE STILL WELCOME TO COME! WED 109 LSC
PERSONALS
the Medium More
What grade of alcohol is too much? (As long as it doesn’t make you go blind, you are fine. ) I have nothing to do until my final on the 23rd. What should I do? (Masturbate, cry, rinse and repeat until your final. Remember it's called Destroy Dick December for a reason.) What changes would you like to see at Rutgers? (We should stop calling HIV by its initials and say it like a word, pronounced HIVIE. It’s like a fun dance “Do the Hivie, Hivie”) Have you ever seen a pair of angry titties? (Boy have I, and let me give you some advice. Never go to a strip club in the afternoon. Those are not the A+ performers they put out there at that time”.) Which corporate mascot would you fuck? (The Geico Gecko. I would use him as a living fleshlight.My deepest fantasy is having his green scaly body bounce up and down on my shaft.)
"My dick's on fire. My dick's on fire "
Turkey
How do I stop thinking about sex all the time? (Great question. I workshopped your question around The Medium's production meeting. We don’t have an answer for that because we never stop thinking about sex. This is obvious about how many dick jokes we have in this paper. Our attention never really leaves the area of the genitals.) I shat myself for the fifth time this week. Do I need to keep wearing new pants or can I just start reusing them? (You should change after each time. You can reuse them if you wash them first. It sounds like what you should do is never leave the toilet. Take all Zoom classes and stay on the throne forever.) My toe next to my big toe is bigger than my big toe? (Sir please, this is the 7th letter you have sent about this topic this week. Please get help.)
Word of the Week:
Dick Nipples N. when you have dicks in place of your nipples. Ex. Person 1: Hey dude, I need to find a Man-Bra for my Dick Nipples Person 2: Same here dude Hey fuckwit. Come join The Medium. Meetings are held in the Livingston Student Center: Board Room or Room 109. Wednesdays @ 8pm If you don’t come I will hunt you down and eat your liver.
Please
How was your Thanksgiving?
Wednesday, December 1st, 2020
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12/1: THE CELEBS WEIGH IN
(Terrible.) Why? (My uncle came this year and said a bunch of racist stuff. Such as: “You know the krauts are the ones taking all the jobs”. “This state would be better if we got rid of all the paddies”. “Goddamn degos! Driving around in their black SUVs, Playing their music too goddamn loud”. “Have you ever had a Chicago-style deep dish pizza? It’s upside down, leave it to a town of Polaks to fuck up a pizza” “Good for nothing Serbs. Always coming into my store, stealing stuff”. “Fucking cheeseheads, driving slow in the fast lane.” “Cocksucking Cheese-eating surrender, giving up all the time” “Crackers always taking up all the time at the PTA meeting, talking about their nonexistent problems” “Goddamn gringos, asking for a living wage, wanting to take breaks for food and sleep” "Fuckings Russkis, leaving all their empty vodka bottles around. I got to sweep them up in front of my shop”)
I'm still dead inside How does Rutgers suggest preventing gonorrhea? (According to this pamphlet I found while digging in the trash. Rutgers says, “Avoid unprotected sex; use condoms (latex, polyurethane) for vaginal, anal, and oral sex, as well as dental dams or nonperforated plastic wrap as a barrier if performing oral/vaginal or oral/anal sex.) What are some good sources for documentaries? (My personal favorites are the site about mormon women dealing with their sexuality called MormonGirlz.com. Another documentary good site is about alternative lifestyles called Kink.com.)
Come join The Medium Meeting; unless you're a pussy. Pussy! Wednesdays @ 8pm Livingston Student Center Board Room or Room 109.
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
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PAGE A7
"Jewish people can't eat Christmas Snow" - a Jew
the Medium
HAHA... HA..HA...FRENCH
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Bad Joke of the Month
Jerry's Show!
BY: Your Dirty Grampa
BY: CIN DRARIUG
A professional gambler is audited and arrives at the office of an IRS agent with his lawyer in tow. The agent explains that there is an unusual amount of money that the gambler claims to have made this year. The gambler explains that he only gambles on things he knows for certain. The agent, perplexed, asks for an example. The gambler offers a bet that he can bite his eye. Confused, the agent accepts. The gambler then pulls out his glass eye and bites down. The agent is shocked and out of money, so when the gambler offers double or nothing that he could bite his other eye, the agent is inclined to accept. He checks the gambler’s records, sees he isn’t legally blind, shakes his hand, and watches as the gambler pulls out his dentures and lightly presses down on his other eye.
Host: Hi kids! Welcome to the show with your favorite host, it’s the greatest, the most wonderful, the least on the New Jersey Sex Offender Registry, Jerry!
Now out of a lot of cash, the agent is desperate. Ever the gentleman, the gambler offers the agent a way to make his money back: he is willing to bet that he can stand on the agent’s desk and piss into the garbage can on the other side of the room. The agent accepts without a second thought and the gambler gets up on his desk. He unzips his fly and promptly pisses all over the agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and exclaims out of joy, he’s broken even! The lawyer begins to pull out his checkbook and, to the ever-confused agent, says, “He bet me that he would piss on your desk and you would be excited about it.” Hi-ku
I can’t feel my nose Oh shit where am I right now? Oh shit here’s some blow.
Kids: Hi Jerry! Jerry: Hi Kids! This week, we’re gonna be playing choose your own adventure! Kids: Yay! Jerry: I need two volunKids: Me! Me! Me! Jerry: Shut the fuck up bef- Hahah. All in good fun, am I right?! Kids: Jerry: Kids: (crying) Jerry: You’re ok, I’m ok… Let's play “Choose your own adventure!” I’ll tell you all a story and you fill in the gaps ok? Kids: Jerry: Ok! There once was a man named ___ Kids: … Jerry. Jerry: Yes! There once was a man named Jerry, he was a very nice and pleasant man and he loved to ___ Kids: Touch kids! Jerry: Not anymore. Lets try agaKids: You touched me yesterday! (Other Kids) Ya, Jerry touched me too! Me tooJerry: No, I promised I didn’t, let’s continue! Hahah! There once was a man named Jerry, he was a very nice and pleasant man and he loved to ___ Kids: Use unsafe touch! Jerry: Kids: ...pet Jerry: That’s betterKids: kids! Jerry: GOD DAMN IT, I’M GONNA FUCKPardon this interruption in our regularly scheduled program - We just recieved word that Jerry was not fully rehabilitated, we apologize for any confusion and misunderstanding that this may have caused.
December 1st, 2021 : The Medium : themediumru : TheMediumRU themedium.submissions@gmail.com
SPORTS is no longer what this page is about
THE MEDIUM SPORTS EDITOR LOSES FAITH IN HUMANITY AND HIMSELF
THE TEXT IN THE SPEECH BUBBLES IS INTENTIONALLY HARD TO READ SO THAT WAY YOU CANNOT READ IT HAHA BY A LOSER
No one is reading this. This paper this week is just going into our online archives. It
is not being printed. So I refuse to write a sports article, because I know that this will reach nobody. I know that there is no reason for
me to flex the comedic muscle in my brain and write some jokes, because nobody will see this. I should be writing a sports satire piece here. But I will not be doing that. That is because I am not motivated to create quality content this week. Instead, I will create this. Because I know that no one is reading this, I feel completely free to switch topics right now without telling anyone, so now let us talk about porn. Just kidding. I have written about that so much. New paragraph time. Why am I spending my time writing this
sports piece when it is not a sports piece? I do not know. Who even knows what is going on right now? Sometimes I try to put quality jokes here on this page and no one even likes them. So when I churn out garbage like this, will people see it? I do not know. We will see. I do not know what I am doing. Pineapple, pear, football, baseball, crackers, earwax, all hail the queen. Okay. Thank you for reading this shit. I have no idea why you are still reading it. But yeah. Just a few more lines here to fill up this newspaper that literally no one cares about. Okay bye.
This Article is Online-Only, So Therefore 69 - By the Numbers, By the It Will Make Sense, and Sports Too Positions, and Sports, Too BY AN IDIOT
BY A LAZY GUY
Sports Editor of The Medium here. Just found out we are making an online version of the paper this week, meaning I need to write some crap to put here. I thought we weren’t making a paper this week, so I thought I could just mill around spending my time doing nothing. Instead, I need to do this. Very unfortunate, I know. I don’t enjoy filling this space with garbage. At the end of the day, sometimes economic forces cause us to need to use our covalent bonds in order to dab on every hater in the whole universe, and maybe even the Western Hemisphere. Sorry if that made too much sense. Going back to more pressing issues, I do not know why the legal system allows us to have plaintiffs and not non-plain tiffs. I think if a tiff wants to be non-plain, it should be allowed. At many times in history, tiffs have been discriminated against. So, there is no reason to force a tiff to be plain. And don’t get me started on defend-ants. I only want regular ants, I don’t fucking care about a defend. Anyway, after the last couple paragraphs, I need to stop making so much sense. So, I will instead talk about USB-C ports. USB ports are hot enough to begin with, but once it becomes USB-C I cannot control my urge to masturbate. Okay, thanks for reading this sports article. I will now go back to violating various Geneva Convention rules.
69
A sex position
69 David number
Bakhtiari’s
69
This article is not related to sports
69 sixety - nine
69
69
Why are none of these text boxes lined up correctly
Sorry there are no more jokes, I need to commit some war crimes
Sometimes Making a Newspaper SINCE 1970