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*PUBLISHED WEEKLY
November 27th, 2019
VOLUME LVII ISSUE VI 50¢ EPTSTEIN'S ASSISTANT WAS AT CLINTON DAUGHTER'S WEDDING
CLINTONS EAT JEFFREY EPSTEIN FOR THANKSGIVING BY HARRY NUTTSAAC GIVE 'EM A LICK
The Lolita Express- Bill and Hillary just pulled Jeffrey out of the freezer in preparation for the big holiday! Ever since Jeffrey Epstein died under mysterious circumstances back in August, there have been varying theories about how America's #1 Rapist and Pedophile died. One of the most popular ideas that have been floating around was that Bill and Hillary, The Dynamic Clinton Duo, were responsible for Epstein's murder after it was revealed that Bill had been to Epstein's secluded pedophile island. No one was really able to disprove this idea, especially since the Clintons have a track record of going above and beyond to hide the smallest transgressions (to be clear, this is about Ms. Monica, not the email
SUCH HARD HITTING Much Satire
thing). Since the idea was a little far fetched, no one really expected Hillary to post on social media about the family eating Epstein for Thanksgiving: "Thanksgiving, the greatest day to celebrate all of America's mistakes, is coming up really quickly! For all of us that are still
reluctantly having family over, remember to take your turkey out a couple of days in advance. Bill and I are having Chelsea and her family over to enjoy the day with us, but this year we've decided to go torture free! Instead of killing an innocent turkey, we decided to Continued on Page 2
JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'D HAVE A CALM THANKSGIVING
ESTRANGED FATHER FINALLY COMES HOME, RUINS THANKSGIVING BY HEYWOOD JABLOMI PRAY MY FATHER AWAY
Home Sweet Home- James Thompson expected a warm welcome when he arrived home after years of estrangement. After leaving for cigarettes in mid-2013, he got lost on his way home from the convenience store, accidentally involved himself in a CIA sting operation that lead to the arrest of several weapons dealers, became an undercover agent overseas, voted for Trump, quit smoking, and finally retired from service to see his family on Thanksgiving. Although his initial return was awkward, as this was the first holiday his wife invited her boyfriend, too, he remained optimistic for a pleasant dinner. The first surprise came when
I ALWAYS KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME JUST WISH IT WASN'T LIKE THIS
he discovered his eldest child had come out as genderfluid and changed their name to Blair. He claimed they would “always be his daughter”, immediately alienating them after years of separation and poisoning the well for the rest of
dinner. Blair counted themself the lucky one, though, as their sister Becca had invited her boyfriend to dinner, who is black. Yes, that detail is important, I’m not just throwing it in. James has always prided Continued on Page 2
Woefully Unprepared Since 1970
QUICKIES
Have a Mediumly Happy Thanksgiving Pete Buttigieg Does High Hopes Dance at Impoverished Native Reservation Grandma’s diarrhea, or delicious pan sauce? Cops Shot Unarmed Coyote In Own Home 6 Already confirmed dead from Black Friday I'd Be Thankful if Bloomberg Dropped From the FuckingRace People Are Saying Shwety Far Too Much In This Room Right Now Local Man Pitied
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NEWS
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
"White Mans Burden is knowing that racism is still going on in 2019"
ALSO HE DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF(OF COURSE)
EVERYONE'S AN EXPERT
...continued from front
kill a pedo and we'll be having that for dinner #JeffEp #GivingThanks #ThanksSquanto" All of us here at The Medium firmly believed that Hillary was definitely behind Epstein's death (she'll always stand by her man), none of us saw this M. Night Shyamalan twist coming. We thought that the post was certainly a product of Hillary trying to drown out her mistakes with appletinis, but she never took the posts down. "President" Trump even sent out a reply (who could've seen that one coming), where he said, "That's one turkey I would've pardoned." The Medium is so super tired of politicians saying really stupid
shit online and nothing happening because of it. We are happy, though, that Epstein isn't going to waste, and we are looking forward to seeing how he turns out! Happy National Day of Mourning, everyone!
TAKE A SHOT EVERYTIME A FAMILY MEMBER SAYS SOMETHING JUST SHY OF SAYING THE N WORD
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DADA LIKES MAGA MAKE YOUR DONATION
...continued from front
himself as being “not a racist”, but he does believe in “not mixing the groups.” Although he claimed to want his best foot forward, as soon as he saw his daughter in the arms of this gorgeous darkskinned Adonis, he immediately demanded to know what he was doing there, and claimed he taught Becca not to date “guys like that”. Andy, the aforementioned mother’s boyfriend, immediately became defensive, having been incredibly supportive of Blair and Becca over the years he’s known them. James insisted he wouldn’t be spoken to like that in his own house, but after Blair pointed out that their mother had been paying
mortgage for the past several years, James decided to simply guilt trip them for a few minutes before leaving. The Medium reached out to both children, and Blair was willing to comment. “I’m sure he’ll be back, but honestly, I don’t mind if he takes his time. I’m no pessimist, I believe we can smooth this over, but after this, I’d like some bonding time with my new dad. Thanksgivings with him have always been chill.”
Americansacrossthecountry have finally decided on a protest worthy enough of not going out to stores this Friday. Many Americans are highly insulted by the name of Black Friday, arguing it should be called African-American Friday. “I have an African-American son who I adopted because I love AfricanAmericans and to have a day for them that does not even address them properly is disgusting!” said Susan, a white woman from San Francisco. A protest was held to fight for the change this past Sunday in hopes retail stores will notice and do something about it. Interestingly, there seemed to be only white people, except Susan's son, who is 4 years old and seemed to not really be a part of the protest. “I honestly don’t know what the fuck these white people are doing, I’m here to get early Black Friday sales, these deals are insane!” said Tom, a black man at the protest. “Black Friday has nothing to do with black people, why are white people so fucking stupid? I mean I appreciate the
support, but what we really want is for white people to shut the fuck up and fuckin’ listen,” he continued. After being told what Tom said, Susan replied, “Well he just doesn’t understand, that is why we are he to fight for him and all of the people from his and lil’ T’challa’s culture.” Yes she named her baby after Black Panther. On Twitter, many retail companies spoke out expressing concerns on the issue. “No offense to our customers, but these people really need to educate themselves on a subject matter before taking things to such an extensive level” said Target. “Black is also just a color and not race, why don’t people get that, when I say ‘I’m wearing a black sweater” I’m not saying the sweater is from black culture I’m saying the sweater is literally black and if people got that maybe last year's office Christmas party would not have been so goddamn awkward,” said Walmart on Twitter. Based on those and similar answers it seems no changes are being made.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING WE LOVE YOU
GUYS, THEY'RE TRYING TO HELP EQUALITY
PEOPLE FIGHT TO MAKE BLACK FRIDAY AFRICANAMERICAN FRIDAY BY: PAUL SDEEP
HERE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN. JUST YOU AND I AGAIN. SEXY I KNOW. I BET YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT THE MAN BEHIND THE KEYBOARD LOOKS LIKE. WELL I GOTTA TELL YOU, HE IS PROBABLY LIKE A 6/10
Editorial Staff Fall 2019
Editor-in-Chief Zachary Fox Managing Editor Vickram Singh Business Manager Shaina Joseph Mascot Long-Island Medium
News Editors Samuel Hammer Opinions Editor Arts Editor Personals Editor Page A7 Editor Features Editor
Michael Celletti Dhvani Mashru Brendan Suszynski Dan Cretella Kelly Manniello
Sports Editor Copy Editor Copy Editor Treasurer Webmaster Faculty Advisor Resident Douche
Advait Suvarnakar Quinlan Van Es Ikjot Tagore Kelly Manniello Max Broggi-Sumner William Field Norman Rockwell
The Medium is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. No article represents the opinion of The Medium or its staff. The Medium is a satire publication and should never be taken seriously. The office of The Medium is located in Livingston Student Center Room 117D. This issue is dedicated to All the Rockin' Twinks
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FEATURES
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
“Happy Thanksgiving to all y’all jive turkeys out there.”
I’LL EAT YOUR TURKEY ;)
I’LL MAKE THIS YOUR BEST THANKSGIVING
Top 10 Ways to Make Thanksgiving Dinner BETTER By: The Entire Cast of The Bukakke on the Mayflower
To have the best Thanksgiving ever... 1. Serve the turkey to all at the table (but make sure it’s still alive) 2.Then jack off in the gravy. 3. Tell your parents you are getting divorced 4. Then hear back from your parents THEY are getting divorced! 5. Announce you are pregnant (you’re male)
The Best Uses for Thanksgiving Leftovers By: Penn A. Trayshun
Thanksgiving, whether it’s a good time or a fucking nightmare, comes with leftovers. I don’t mean the emotional baggage that is uncovered once a year when three generations congregate under one roof. I’m referring to the food that goes uneaten, maybe because there’s too much on the table or because it tastes like a box full of assholes. For one, you can feed it to your pets. If you were your cat, wouldn’t you get tired of chicken-flavored meow mix? It tastes like mouse dick, which isn’t that bad in your cat’s eyes but hey, it gets old pretty quickly. Flush it down the toilet. You’re going to digest it and shit it out in a few days anyway, so why not jump to the end of that process? You’re saving yourself some indigestion. Cook the turkey. Eat the turkey. Shit the turkey. A vicious cycle. Use the food as a bargaining chip with the homeless. You might think that they should get the food for free. That’s bullshit. They’re hiding some valuable shit in their pockets. Some of them are rocking nice shoes, so you ought to try and take them for yourself. Their glasses are pretty cheap too, so they won’t mind if they barter them away. And whatever happens, don’t save the leftovers for next year’s Thanksgiving. That’s more disgusting than cranberry sauce from a can (come on, you parsimonious twat! Learn to cook for yourself.)
TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING!!! WE HERE AT THE MEDIUM HOPE YOU ENJOY GETTING TOLD THAT YOU’RE A DISAPPOINTMENT BY ALL YOUR RELATIVES BUT THEN GETTING TO EAT ENOUGH TO PUT DOWN A HORSE!
6. Then proceed to give birth on the table. 7. Respond “OK BOOMER” to your uncle after he starts telling the story of how he beat his ex-wife for the 69th time 8. Then watch him proceed to make it an even 70. 9. Turn on the football games and watch 6 more players get CTE. 10. Jack off for the 12th time of the day before going to sleep …knowing you just had the best Thanksgiving ever!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEP POTAT-BRO? ;0
Family Fun Games for Thanksgiving By Harry Nuttsaac & PP Harding
The Penis Game: you and a cousin take turns playing the age-old penis game, but this time, really get into it Throwing Punches: you and another family member interject your strong liberal ideals into different conversations, and the first one to get two family members to start a fist-fight wins Monopoly: you and your cousins go around to all of your older family members and try to get as many charity donations as a poor college student and at the end of the night find out just who grandma’s favorite really is Smashed potatoes: cum in the mashed potatoes and see how long it takes for everyone to notice you came in the mashed potatoes White People Only: take a shot every time one of your pasty, white-bread family members says the n-word and take two for every time you’re asked what your major is and your answer is followed by a sarcastic chortle
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OPINIONS "D to the M to the T."
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
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SOMEONE PASS THE POLITICAL LITERATURE
UNIVERSITY VOICES
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? "The kid who sits in front of me in Calc. When my phone dies I can just look over his shoulder at the borderline hentai he reads." Brendan Wu Thinks Nami is best girl
"My botched circumcision. It has saved me from commiting a sin of the flesh many times!" David Bird Just whipped that shit out
"Eye lids." SCP-173 *SNAP*
YEAH I'LL HAVE FOURTHS
Don't Show Up to Friendsgiving Without your Marijuana BY JEN E. THALIA
Friendsgiving is so weird. You go to the host’s place knowing nobody but the host so you awkwardly mingle and secretly take shots in the bathroom because you are too socially awkward to face the world sober. You obviously forgot to take your anxiety medicine because you were too busy cooking halfassed green bean casserole which nobody eats. Once you are finally drunk enough to socialize you forget about the host and become besties with everybody else at the party because drunk people relate to everything. Now that everybody is drunk enough to have fun, they realize that they can’t just have fun with one kind of drug, but since everybody was so busy preparing or buying terrible food and a shit ton of alcohol, they forgot about the most important thanksgiving drug - marijuana. How am I gonna overstuff my belly through my loose dress that I wore on purpose to avoid looking bloated if I am not high to get the munchies? Now we have to hit up the weed man and pay him extra money to deliver the weed in the shitty rainy weather. Once the weed arrives and you roll up a blunt, you get half a hit before a stranger-turned-friend wants you to pass that shit and by the time half the people are done smoking, the blunt is no more. It is dead, just like the turkey that I didn’t eat because I am a woke vegetarian. Anyway, my two cents would be to just bring your own bud or make your desserts with cannabutter so you don’t have a weed crisis. Stay wavy bitches because these edibles are the shit.
To Food or to Fight? BY CHRISTIAN REESE
Every year I am faced with a simple yet difficult question: Do I have dinner with my family on my mom's side, or may dad's side? Now, I know what you're thinking, "Don't your parents just decide for you?" They're dead. So thanks for reminding me of that, asshole. But anyway, it's on me to make the choice, and I'm having a really hard time of it. On the one hand, the food on my mom's side is insane. You have not lived until you've tasted the culinary consequences of five sisters with inferiority complexes trying to one up each other for Thanksgiving dinner. Half the time they just order that shit from a catering company and try to pass it off as their own. You don't hear me complaining though. I just pack my stretchy pants and enjoy the evening. On the other hand, the arguments they have on my dad's side are legendary. My uncle Tim is a straight up Marxist. My aunt Cathy still goes to punk shows every weekend. My Aunt Regina has shared every twitter post Steven Crowder has ever made. And my uncle Richard has, I shit you not, seven "If you want em, come take em." bumper stickers, each one with a different set of assault rifles crossed underneath it. It's a coin toss as to whether or not that shit will get physical. At best, somebody's going to take a spoonful of mashed potatoes to the forehead while my centrist Grandma cries in the bathroom. I LOVE YOU JOHN SMITH-SAMA!
How am I supposed to Enjoy Thanksgiving when my Niece is a huge weeaboo? BY DALE FINGER
It's not my fault that my dumb shit brother is a failure as a parent. Ever since my niece was born that stupid motherfucker has been feeding her blue pill after blue pill, telling her shit like "Follow your dreams honey." and "We'll love you no matter what." But sure, I'm the asshole for smacking her when she screams "NYAAAA!" and bites my arm just because I don't know what the hell a "foot anarchy" is. The kid has no shame! She hasn't come to a family event in the past two years without a set of cat ears on! Each time I see her she's got a new anime husband. Not once have they had a normal hair color. I thought Zoro was a spanish swordsman, not some green haired twink, but apparently I'm a "bacca," whatever that means. Is that like boomer? Because it sounds like boomer. Last year on her birthday, she wouldn't let her mom light the candles on the cake, instead insisting upon shouting "FIRE STYLE: FIREBALL JUTSU" over the candles for so long that her Grandma just got up and left. We found her in the living room halfway through a bottle pinot, longingly stroking a picture of my niece from before she discovered Toonami. Listen, I know she's family, and you're supposed to love family no matter what, but I just can't handle this shit anymore. I may not be a perfect parent, but I'll take my son's ketamine addiction over an anime addiction any day.
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
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ARTS
“Painting your friends' naked bodies is better than painting a pumpkin”
JUUL POD WITH A DAD BOD BY PENNY TRATER
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FLU SHOT BY JEN E. THALIA
HOT ANIME GIRL BY FOXY ROXY
COME TO OUR MEETING AND SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!! WEDNESDAYS AT 7:45 PM ROOM 109, LIVI STUDENT CENTER
GIVING THANKS TO THE COYOTE BY JEN E. THALIA
GOTW BY PENNY TRATER
the Medium Fucking Holidays
PERSONALS
"I'll stuff YOUR turkey ;) for a good time call 1-800-BWTY-NVMR"
Fucking Turkey Day
Can I play the Christmas How can I tell if someone fucked the turkey before music yet? dinner? (It's never too early to reflect on your insignificant (Are you implying that you ever-transient mortality as DON'T like your gravy with a fluid dripping meat sack an umami sweet and salty who takes up less circum- aftertaste?) ference than a grain of sand in the grand totality of this universe. Shit, I'm already seeing decorative funeral cookies in the Great Value clearance aisle.) What's the best weapon to bring with me on Black Friday? (BECOME the weapon. Move discreetly. Strike decisively with tactical precision. Finesse with the fortitude of a methodical guerilla warrior. LEGO foot traps are always reliable, as are tablet drops. Holds those little shits hostage for hours. ) I don't celebrate Thanksgiving because I refuse to glorify the killing of Native Americans, unlike the rest of you bastards! (Take it up to the C.E.O. of colonialism Karen.)
Why does my turkey bare the faint, conspicuous aromas of testes and taint? (That turkey led an animalistic life of carnal animalistic pursuits like the rest of us. Pissing. Shitting. Cumming. The works. Probably that. No greater prepoderance of plausible explanations I can think of. Definitely none. I promise.) This turkey lookin' DUMMY thicc. Like a whole ass snack. Deadass. Bet. Yeeted on Lord Xenu. I'm 37 years old. (I'm inclined to agree, but at the same time, MAYBE keep your proclivities for avarian necrophilia on the down low? They have fucking Lois Griffin futunari, I'm sure Pornhub's got something else to get those rocks off. Not that I'd know anything about that. )
THANKSGIVING: CELEBS WEIGH IN
Kids these days aren't racist enough! (Fuck off old man. Just connecting. We aren't cowards hiding behind boomer cum robes like YOUR ilk; we're ALPHAS. ICONOCLASTS. TIER ONE POSTING OPERATORS. SPIRITUAL WARRIORS OF THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE, boldly hiding behind computer screens.) Oh God oh fuck oh fucking goddamn shit I was supposed to bring something to dinner but I forgot, what can I whip up in 20 minutes in my mom's kitchen without anyone noticing? (Is Mikhail machine washable? If so it'd make a good decorative garnish. A little jarring, but definitely a heavy table setter for sure.)
Word of the Week:
Melatonin n. Nowhere near enough to knock me the fuck out off this dead bird meat...
MURDERER RAPIST TAKING AMERICAN JOBS NOT GOOD FOLKS :(
Fucking Family
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
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How do I poison grandpa and only grandpa? Asking for a friend. (Cut the landline. Wait out indefinite tech support calls, switch flipping, plugging, and unplugging. Nature will take it's course.)
Fucking Family (Cont'd)
My step-brother's looking pretty hot, would you recommend I seduce him before or after dessert? (Emotional trauma before potatoes and pumpkin pie. Common sense rule of thumb. C'mon man.) Will my step brother fuck me if I somehow get stuck in the turkey?
(Why are so insistent on drawing a corollary between dead bird oriifi and coital intercourse? What sort of sick fuck are you trying to imply that I am, you sick fuck?) Hey, me and the cousins are "going for a walk" before the feast. Want anything? (Everclear, some MDMA tabs, and a $400 sublet to get the fuck away here would be nice right now.) How to explain to my Indian parents that we arent "like the Indians" who traded with colonists, and that being in their position was historically terrible? (Skip those flu shots sonny boi...)
BE GOOD. DO GOOD. PITCH GOOD.
Wednesdays @ 7:45p.m. Livingston Student Center Room 109
PAGE A7
Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
“Can you get someone to do A7 for me (x3)”
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Great Tips for the Disappointments of the Family
Top 10 Ways to Avoid Family This Thanksgiving
1. Join an extremist group of your choice 2. Become ensnared in a pyramid scheme and spend the day trying to get everyone to join 3. Offer to help cook and burn yourself so severely you need medical attention 4. Work retail 5. Be libertarian 6. Leave on a beer run and never look back 7. Pretend to be really religious all day 8. Eat an edible and zone out watching a football game with your gambling-addict uncle 9. Ride any bus of your choice until you contract the flu 10. Alienate anyone who comes close to you by being genuinely unpleasant to be around and don’t get invited in the first place
Local Listings and Great Finds
Bad Joke of the Month
"Of recently I have been told that American public will stuff me and eat me this November month. This make me very anxious and I am fear for my life. Please don’t eat this roast turkey man cause I want to raise my kids. Thank you god bless free America. " Contact: Turkish.immigrant.dad@gmail.com
A Frog Hops Into a Bank
"I served the turkey and my whole family immediately got up and left. I don’t understand what I did wrong! I put the main course, turkey cold cuts, on the table and I was laughed at. I don’t like to be ridiculed in my own home. What is the problem?" Contact: Confused.soccerMom@gmail.com "I’ve been trying to avoid whatever it is that they call “dark meat.” I think that the new generation has taken things too far with integration. We are all perfect the way God created us, but we don’t have to pretend that we’re the same." Contact: Maga.Boomer.madeIn1950@gmail.com
High-ku
Fluorescent lighting The bulbs whine like hungry dogs Who has tylenol?
By: Your Dirty Grandpa
A frog hops into a bank up to the first available teller, one Ms. Patricia Wack, and he tells her "I'd like to take out a loan for one hundred thousand dollars." Patricia is stunned by this. Not only does this frog talk, but he's also a fucking high-roller! In amazement, she says, "That's quite a lot." The frog replies, "No worries, my father's Mick Jagger!" At this point, Patricia just wants this to be over, so she tells the frog, "We typically need collateral for a loan that big." With a look of understanding, the frog pulls a porcelain pig from his bag and sets it on the counter. With no clue what to do anymore, Patricia brings the pig back to her manager and explains the whole thing. She ends, "And what the fuck's up with this pig?" Her manager replies, "It's a knick knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!" Come to our meetings after break for our leftovers! Pitch Meetings: Wed., 7:40pm, LSC rm 109. Production Meetings: Monday, 8pm, LSC rm 117b
November 27th, 2019 @MediumSports themedium.sports@gmail.com RETORTS
KAEPERNICK BREAKS INTO WHITE HOUSE TO KNEEL DURING PRESIDENTIAL TURKEY PARDON
EVERYBODY TAKE A KNEE Not you, white man BY MASON RUDOLPH'S HELMET
DC – In a desperate attempt to return to kneeling during nationally televised events, Colin Kaepernick broke into the White WASHINGTON
Ten
House Thursday during the annual Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon to kneel. Following his workout the previous week, in which zero NFL team’s scouts showed up, Kaepernick realized he would not receive any offer
to be signed from any teams. Having not kneeled during the National Anthem of an NFL game since 2016, Kaepernick understood he would have to turn to new methods to receive media attention of himself resting on one knee. In order to get this attention, Kaepernick snuck into the White House through a side entrance during the annual turkey pardon. He then hopped on the stage with Trump, and immediately got on one knee. He did garner some attention from former White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who was ready to take her position back to state that Kaepernick was not actually on stage, and that Trump’s crowd of three people to watch the event was the largest crowd ever at a turkey pardon. However, it ended up that her services were not needed. This is because CNN and Fox’s cameras did not even notice Kaepernick, as they were instead focusing on Trump, and his
fundamental misunderstanding of the event. Trump, instead of pardoning the turkey (who happened to be named Jeffrey Epstein), was instead attempting to pardon himself from the Ukraine inquiry. Trump screamed to all present that he had the “absolute right to pardon himself,” as the turkey named Jeffrey Epstein who Trump was supposed to be pardoning scurried off the stage and “killed itself” (was murdered by Bill Clinton). Kaepernick, saddened by the lack of attention he got from being on his knee at this event, stated that he would be accepting a new $10 million deal with Nike to show his commitment to “social issues,” though he would keep all the money for himself. In other Thanksgiving day NFL news, Antonio Brown broke into the Bills-Cowboys game to rape a Cowboys cheerleader, while Robert Kraft was off in Florida attemtping to find new “dancers” at laundromats for the Patriots.
The Geller Cup By the Numbers
Things to Know About Rutgers Basketball
BY ROBIN BANKS
1
They’ve won more games than football
2
They should be funded better
3
The RAC is actually nice
4 Geo Baker prob will make D-
League
5
No one will make NBA
6 They get free tuition
2
44 Ants Phoebe saved by
30
500
Yards Rushed by Ra- not stepping on them chel
7 We pay for their tuition
8
Times Ross Cried Like a Bitch
They get free meals
9
30
We pay for their meals
10
No difference between them and football
Times Monica Proved she Has more Testosterone than Ross
Arguing With Boomers SINCE 1970
Yards Joey passed for
-40
points Chandler scored on flirting skills with that Russian chick.