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*PUBLISHED WEEKLY
November 13th, 2019
VOLUME LVII ISSUE VI 50¢ THEY STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THE R U SCREW
RUTGERS CLASS OF 1874 REUNION PENN A. TRAYSHUN MAKE IT A DOUBLE
New Brunswick- Yesterday, the Class of 1874 gathered outside of Old Queens. It caused quite the racket, considering they showed up in horse-drawn carriages. The horses took a few fat shits outside of Brower, which were picked up by dining hall staff and thrown into the large vat of beef stew. Nobody could tell the difference. Regardless, the Class of 1874 brought their own snacks: hardtack and moonshine. The class IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN president presided in front of all six Do Not Ask Any of Them About Black People class members still alive: whole barrel of moonshine in 10 took a malnourished raccoon out “My name is Wilbur Jeremiah minutes. They split into teams of his overcoat and threw it at the Longbush VIII, and I’m delighted and played a good old game of opposing team. The ravenous beast that at least six of us aren’t dead Confederates vs. Yankees, chasing nibbled off Abraham Swift’s left yet…speech over. Let’s get fucked each other all up and down thumb. Abraham eliminated the up like it’s the nineteenth century, College Ave. The game turned creature by projectile vomiting a yessir!” violent, and at one-point Wilbur mix of stomach acid and moonshine The six of them put away a on it, burning it alive. Continued on Page 2
I'LL GIVE YOU A DELIVERANCE. . . OF CUM!
CLOSETED MAN WATCHES DELIVERANCE INSTEAD OF GAY PORN HARRY NUTTSAAC IMAGINE THE SMELL
New Brunswick- A Rutgers student deep, deep, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seadeep in the closet has just found the newest way to watch two men have violent anal sex without admitting to himself that he's gay. If you are unfamiliar with Deliverance, the movie's about a bunch of dudebros who go out on a canoe trip, but they are ambushed by some backwoods pig-fuckers and one of them gets raped up the ass while getting called "piggy" over and over again. I don't know about you, but I always get really riled up when I watch that scene: passionate homoeroticism, verbal harassment, a dude standing off to the side and choking the chicken. Seriously,
MMM... BURT REYNOLDS... AND JON VOIGHT, I GUESS
a masterful piece of cinema. Apparently, this scene is not even the reason that most people watch the movie, it's supposed to be a moving film about friends facing adversity and toughing it out through the wilderness.
Just like myself, this unnamed student likes Deliverance for all the wrong reasons and has found that it is a way that he can watch gay porn without realizing that he's gay. He's had his friends come over Continued on Page 2
Smokin' Penises Since 1970
QUICKIES
Beto O'Rourke Drops to Focus on No Nut Novermber Scientists Attempt to Find Gay Gene, Only Able to Find Jorts Woman Has Niche Fetish for Steve Buscemi's Eyes Sequel to "White Chicks" Announced, Titled "Black Guys", to Star the Olson Twins Dog Person Still Really into Pussy Medium Editor-in Chief Murdered Man in Cold Blood, Do Not Buy Into Failed Tie Die Bullshit Local Man Never Felt Love Just Heard About Climate Change, Shit Sucks
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NEWS
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
"I want to [Redacted] your [Redacted], while I'm covered in [Redacted]."
THAT MOONSHINE'LL GET TO YA' EVERYONE'S AN EXPERT
I BET HE CRIES DURING THE NOTEBOOK ...continued from front
“Fucking roasted, just like the triangle shirtwaist factory fire I started!” Abraham yelled. The six of them started a roaring fire and cooked some flapjacks and coffee over it. Wilbur looked up at the stars, but then a pigeon flying overhead took a wet shit and it landed in his eye. Long story short, he freaked out and the class of 1874 started erratically shooting muskets upwards in the hopes of murdering some birds. The decision was made to pour some moonshine in his eye to neutralize the toxins. The six were last seen taking a boat down the Raritan. In other
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news, Rutgers is planning on hosting the class of 1776, which is sure to be twice as goddamn crazy. Watch out, and don’t let that one annoying friend imitate a fake British accent or they might get fucking sniped by a Pennsylvania long rifle.
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MAKE YOUR DONATION to his apartment four times this week to watch Deliverance with his roommates, and every time they do, all of the guys look away from the screen really awkwardly, paying close attention to their phones or the snacks they're eating. Meanwhile, this student is able to watch the scene, paying attention to every gritty detail, twitching with anticipation with every thrust. This last time, he got up and took his girlfriend into his room and fucked her brains out half-way through the scene. He didn't think it was weird that this is the first time he's been able to get it up around her, and he was even thinking about Burt Reynolds'
...continued from front
mustache the whole time! Not Burt Reynolds, just his bushy, manly mustache. I started off rooting for this guy, really happy that he was able to find a work-a-round for his unrealized homosexuality, but this is just hard to watch at this point. I mean, the guy's favorite western is Brokeback Mountain!
SELL ME PLEASE 973-555-6942
I MISS THE ISIS CREAM FLAVOR, MAN I HOPE THEY BRING IT BACK
#HEARTWARMING: BEN & JERRY’S REIMBURSES LOCAL BOY WITH ICE CREAM AFTER UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING BY MANUEL C. HODE
Life is a gift. Sure, you may find yourself in a nursing home, copiously defecating into a colostomy bag through senile delirium, whilst your apathetic dietary aide making $8 an hour belittles your senile delirium. Sure, you may be hopelessly trapped by debt in a Northeastern suburbanite shithole. Sure, you may never ACT upon those ideations you hork Prozac down your gullet to suppress, but an “accidental” stray bullet or LX collision in the crosswalk wouldn’t be the WORST thing. But through the lows, it’s easy to take those highs for granted. Sure, the wildebeest might’ve slowly had it’s entrails vivisected alive by a pack of hyenas, but think of those HECKIN’ cute puppers bonding! There may be over 500,000 homeless Americans left for dead on the streets this at this very moment, but saccharine YouTube videos! Your Percocet-addled amputee uncle might’ve barely survived fighting a meaningless imperialist campaign in the Korengal Valley, but think of that ONE functional leg! A local ten year old might’ve been exposed to a DIFFERENT sort of BJ, but like it ALWAYS does all the time, his senseless trauma and misery paid off for the better.
Editorial Staff Fall 2019
Editor-in-Chief Zachary Fox Managing Editor Vickram Singh Business Manager Shaina Joseph Mascot Long-Island Medium
News Editors Samuel Hammer Opinions Editor Arts Editor Personals Editor Page A7 Editor Features Editor
Michael Celletti Dhvani Mashru Brendan Suszynski Dan Cretella Kelly Manniello
Timmy Bryson made a normal trip to a New Brunswick John, when he quizzically observed a stall sketch reading “Tap foot for BJ”. Following instructions as written, the rendezvous ended with the punctual arrest of 47 year old flasher Seth Hansel. Fortunately, Timmy was able to utilize his karate class’ signature pressure point nut chop before things REALLY got hairy, but Ben & Jerry’s owner Ben Cohen personally reimbursed Timmy’s efforts and wish for the true BJ he was yearning. “As someone with no tangible senses of smell or taste, I know well the arduous rigors of existence. Life can be like a trail of broken glass shards with some dangling carrots and ice cream pints to keep you going, which is why I’M rewarding Mr. Bryson with a years supply of them, as well as a flavor named after his courageous heroism!” Starting November 15th, consumers will be able to experience the creamy umami taste of Glory Hole Macadamia at retailers near them.
NAMASTE BITCHES Sports Editor Copy Editor Copy Editor Treasurer Webmaster Faculty Advisor Resident Douche
Advait Suvarnakar Quinlan Van Es Ikjot Tagore Kelly Manniello Max Broggi-Sumner William Field Orgo Professors
The Medium is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. No article represents the opinion of The Medium or its staff. The Medium is a satire publication and should never be taken seriously. The office of The Medium is located in Livingston Student Center Room 117D. This issue is dedicated to me, I deserve a win
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019 themedium.submissions@gmail.com
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FEATURES “I miss the show, Totally Spies!”
How to Protest the Reduced Pokedex Based on Your Zodiac By Heywood Jablomi
WHO WANTS A NICE HOT CUP OF GRANDPA JOE?
Top 10 Most Creative Things to Do With Someone’s Ashes by Harry Nuttsaac
10. Throw Them At Republicans: that boomer would fucking hate that 9. Throw Them Out: you totally forgot what was in that weird vase 8. Bake Them Into Edibles: if you get spaced out enough, you might just see them again
Aries: Get other people riled up. Take to the forums and type up paragraphs on paragraphs on why you’re mad and why everyone else should be too. Taurus: Do what Aries does but infinitely more annoying: instead of riling up the people who already agree, go find the people who are still into the upcoming release and shame them for it. Type up manifestos on why they shouldn’t buy any game you don’t want them to. Gemini: Denial is your friend. Insist that this is the generation you’re not gonna buy the games on day one, make a point of not preordering, and then give up as soon as it’s release day and get a copy of each. You know you’re gonna. Cancer: Write an angry letter to game freak. Everyone else is wasting their time with rants and petitions, but you’re gonna go right to the source, armed with pen and profanity. I’m sure they’ll read it and definitely care. Leo: You’re an optimist (that’s definitely how the zodiac “works”), so you’ve gotta focus on the bright side. The pokedex was already leaked, go through the ones that made it in and remind yourself that your favorite furrybait is still there. Virgo: Ranting about it in the forums accomplishes nothing. You’re going to write a very polite, very formal article about how this is literally worse than Fallout 76 and Anthem, and get it published as a guest post on a legitimate website. You’re not a keyboard warrior, you’re a PROFESSIONAL. Libra: Throw a fucking tantrum. Publicly. On release day, get a copy of the game, throw it on the ground, screech at the top of your lungs, smash the case into the dirt, take out the game, and pee on it. Scorpio: Your boycott isn’t enough, you gotta get your excited little brother in on it too. Do not let him buy this game. Beat the shit out of him if you have to. Sagittarius: Don’t make a big deal out of it. Quietly break your switch and bury it in your backyard. Then demand a replacement copy to sell online to get your money back. Nintendo will never get your money again. Capricorn: Just chill, man. This ain’t no big deal. Light up a joint, kick back, and pay some Pokemon Emerald. Then once you’re sober, copy Libra. Aquarius: This is clearly the gamestop employee’s fault. When you drive down to cancel your preorder, give them a fucking earful and knock the SWSH display over. If they tell you to stop, they’re suppressing your first amendment rights. Pisces: Once the video of Aquarius’s meltdown goes viral, join in the discourse and insist that all the Arieses and Tauruses are exactly like this guy, pissing them off more and feeding the fire. If you can’t catch ‘em all, at least you can have fun on the way down.
7.Flush Them Down The Toilet: like the piece of shit they were 6. Put Them Into Your Ex’s Gas Tank: can you imagine using her own grandpa to fuck up her car? 5. Use Them As Kitty Litter: they did always love that cat 4. Color Fun Run: no one will know that it’s your grandpa died a neon pink 3. Put Them In Your Kid’s Sandbox: this way grandpa can play with them forever 2. Grind Them In Your Coffee: you’ll always be awake after this, trying to deal with what you just did 1. Take A Shot: party with grandma, one last time RUSH ALPHA BETA EPILEPSY
What Type of Student Are You? By: God Himself
What do you do on Friday nights? A) Study B) Jack Off C) Get Passed Out Drunk
Who are your best friends?
A) Your mom B) You have no friends C) All your brother’s from your frat Alpha Beta Epilepsy
What is your favorite part of class?
A) The entire thing, class is the only relevant part of your week B) You lack enough self worth to go to class C) Staring at the girls Ass sitting in front of you
If you answered mostly A’s, you are a fucking nerd and fucking loser. If you answered mostly B’s, you have no purpose and your life is worthless, your own family doesn’t love you, and you are a fucking loser. If you answered mostly C’s, you are a frat bro and a fucking loser. Regardless of your result, you are a fucking loser.
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OPINIONS
"I wonder what Shia's doing right now..."
UNIVERSITY VOICES
What's your favorite night for dining hall takeout? "Wing night. I double swipe, take it back to my dorm, peel all the skin and meat off, and then stick the bones in my vagina." Veronica Smith Single since 2013 "Bite night. They're not supposed to give you nothing but fried pickles, but they will if you cry for long enough." Lamar Brown Hates fried pickles
"Chinese food! People should really give lunch takeout a shot. It's super yummy!" Janet Wilson Wouldn't shut the fuck up HER PUSSY WORKS HARD SO YOU DON'T HAVE 2
Being a Cool Mom was Easier When you Did Less Illegal Shit BY YOUR MOM
Okay look, you know I'm always on your side honey. No matter what I have fought tooth and nail to make sure my baby gets the best out of everything in life. Whether it's your father, or your principal, or Mr. Roberts down the street, or your basketball coach, or your karate instructor, or the guy in the Chuck E' Cheese costume at your 5th birthday party, I have always been willing to do anything and everything necessary to make sure that my little munchkin gets all the special treatment in the world. And why shouldn't I? You're a great kid, and you deserve the best. But listen kiddo, there has to be a limit at some point. Personally, I don't have a problem with you keeping alcohol in the house, heaven knows you wouldn't have been conceived without it, but we can't keep hosting parties for you and your little friends, okay? Mommy can make noise complaints go away, but when you stumble to the door and tell the nice officers who are just doing their jobs, "Suck my shit you fat fucking pigs," and then you vomit all over them, the porch, and me, it gets a lot harder for mommy to bail you out. You're lucky you needed to go to the hospital, because it took that whole ambulance ride to sell them on a threesome. I'm really sorry honey, but we really can't risk another close call like that. I've had to go at least three rounds with every officer at the department just to keep you out of trouble, and they're going to get tired of me eventually. Please try to keep your nose clean, for mommy.
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
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MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE IS FINE THOUGH
The Television is Satan's Domain BY RICHARD SPENCER
I was raised in a very traditional Roman Catholic family. I pray every night. I go to Church every Sunday. And I've listened to the new Kanye album 542 times since it dropped. I'm a good, pious man, and anybody who disagrees can file their complaints with the big man Himself, because I know He's got my back through thick and thin. But Satan's tricks are many, and potent as well. No mortal man is immune, and so I bring my story to you all as a form of pennance, and as a warning. Now, when I was but four years old, Father McIverson took me into the confessional, and placed my hand onto his penis, saying "My son, you are to never place your hands upon yourself as you do me now." He then bent me over, and as he entered me those words rang through my head endlessly. On that day, I resolved to never masturbate for as long as I lived. That was until I came upon the wickedly cursed channel known as the Animal Planet. I was shocked and disgusted to see the managerie of temptation on diplay in the Animal Planet's programs. Hippos! Tigers! Bears! And don't even get me started on the dogs! I've seen the police's German Shephards from afar, but on the Animal Planet the shots are so close that when I let my mind wonder I swear I could feel it's fur rubbing against my bare thighs! Needless to say I broke my vow. Please, my fellow men of God, avoid the Animal Planet at all costs. Do not give Lucifer the chance to dig his claws into your soft, willing flesh! THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A JEW. I PROMISE.
Jews are Basically the X-Men with no Visible Powers BY RABBI X
For those who have read the X-Men comics or enjoyed the films until they became complete dog shit after the glorious and beautiful Hugh Jackman left, the X-Men were known to be a reflection on discrimination in real-life society. A whole variety of ethnic and racial groups have fallen victim to the scrutiny and prejudice of those who saw themselves as superior. Similarly, mutants were a victim to scrutiny. Some mutants, more than others, fell victim to this because their abilities were physically visible, such as Beast or Angel, but some could blend in with the non-mutants, like wolverine or Professor X not unlike a certain ethnic group that suffers from discrimination, aka, the Jews. We Jews have been able to thrive in American society because many of us bare the skin of the white man. We fucking own Hollywood and the goddamn media and are able to manipulate the country to vote for who we please. Unfortunately, it didn't work last election‌. We use the great power we gained to run the world from the shadows, just like Professor X with his telepathy. We will continue to use our power to gain equality for all!!! Except for the Palestinians, Israel is ours!
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
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ARTS
“Blow glass, not dudes”
MAKE "HIM" NOSEBLEED BY PENNY TRATER
the Medium
DUCK DICK CORK SCREW BY UR MOMMY
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR BY HEYWOOD JABLOMI
HEY, WOULD YA BLOW ME? COME TO LSC 109 WED AT 7:45 PM
NO NUT NOVEMBER MOOD BY UR DADDY
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PERSONALS
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
"Cabela's Big Bust MILF Hunter! Ski mask, chloroform rag, and sawed off light shotgun sold seperately." themedium.submissions@gmail.com
Black Markets/Barney
Fucking Boomers
What do you do when an Australian merchant bearing arms, psychedelic herbs with healing properties, and a collection of antiques, comes up and asks, "Whaddaya buyin'?"
Why's it always "okay, boomer", and never "YOU okay, boomer?" (Okay, boomer.)
The mainstream social media is all fucking smug boomer Wonka this and (One: buy nonlethal smoke Minion ethnostate that, but grenade launcher. Two: when will they have the mix gas canisters with balls to confront the reality 5-MeO DMT powder. of BOOMER on BOOMER Three: Create the world’s crime? biggest enlightened militia of subservient Joe Rogan (Okay, zoomer.) Best excuse not to go acolytes.) hometown over How do I start a coup? back Thanksgiving break? Evidently it's pretty easy. (Just tell them you're too (Refer to question one. busy at your Turning Point NoFap six months USA internship. Don't need minimum. Subsist on a to pay a $15 train ticket to carnivorous Slim Jim diet hear casual racism when until your anus and arteries you can get paid $15 an attain the viscosity of wet hour promoting it to the cement.) masses. Don't see why they What are you looking wouldn't be understanding forward to seeing most in of that.) the gritty Daniel Kaluuya Best excuse for hometown dog "conveniently" going Barney film? missing after Thanksgiving (Wondering if they'll commit break? to the script leak's Gaspar Noe homage where Barney (It's peanut butter and plush caves in Baby Bop's skull pillow migration season, what is there to excuse?) with a fire extinguisher...)
Word of the Week:
Ephebophilia
Existential Dread
EPSTEIN UPDATE: CELEBS WEIGH IN
How do you stave off the dread knowing that’s it’s already 2/3rds of the way through the semester and every passing day feels like an increasingly accelerationist swan dive toward your annihilation? (Tax men, final papers, and NJ PIRG representatives can't reach you in the solitary, enveloping warmth of the grave. Find some solace in that.) Hi! Currently standing knee deep in a kiddie pool filled with unleaded gasoline. After which hour of being left on read should you let your anxiety and burgeoning self loathing drop the match? (You really think you have enough self-worth to deserve going out that theatrically? That ceremoniously? Okay mister fucking pompous ass thespian man.) Why am I so tired? (Because we're being mired in student debt, thrust into a workforce without fully developed brains, nor the career prospects of our forefathers?)
ANTINATALIST GANG GANG
My dad is starting to get suspicious of my sexual and is deeply n. A niche cultural tradition practiced preferences disappointed that it isn't a by indigenuous 1970's rock bands and guarantee that I will shire heirs to his crumbling the libertarian diaspora. patriarchal "dynasty." How do I tell him that legacies "Go fuck yourself I'll give you go fuck yourself. We all know you fuck yourself everyone has a pornhub account are meaningless? you're in there somewhere. Uncultured? Is this a real world? Technically I am a man of many cultures. They call me mr vultures and cultures. Idk what this about but like month ago I was busy. Do you in fact fuck yourself? That is a Russian kinda woman name. I fucked a few Russian girls already let's say I make you on the list?"
(Unzip. Drop trouse. Don't gaze him in the eyes; peer a thousand yards through the vacous rotting meat globs that homophobic motherfucker -@HumansAreDum Fuckthemtodeath, calls a soul. Fully erect, YouTube comment poet laureate, dialectical extraordinare, urethra aimed to center anti No-Nut November advocate, big dicked philosopher mass, bellow to the heavens, convoking the might of the 100 billion dead spirits that have stood before you both. Defiant, your parsed lips utterance "I AM DUST SON. YOU ARE DUST FATHER. WE ARE EPHEMERAL DUST SPECKS REALIZING OUR SPECK DRAMAS ATOP AN EPHEMERAL DUST ROCK. KICKING UP MORE WASTEFUL DUST IS THE APOTHEOSIS OF NARCISSISM. HEEL.")
K I N G
SHARE YOUR OWN PROSAIC BEAUTY
Wednesdays @ 7:45p.m. Livingston Student Center Room 109
Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
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The Pinnacle of Low Effort
PAGE A7
“I'm fucking exhausted right now.�
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To Be Read on the Toilet While You Poop
Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Like to Celebrate Thanksgiving By: Throbbin Williams
1. Thanksgiving is a bullshit holiday designed to distract people from the fact that we literally stole a continent and raped and murdered the people who lived here first. 2. Turkey is a dry, overrated protein. 3. My nephews are 13 now and still say the same shitty prayer they've been struggling through since they started leading grace. 4. It's the one time a year I have to sit through grace at a meal. What the fuck? Local Listings and Great Finds Looking to hire local teens to clean out my basement. Offering $25 per hour. Mostly junk that needs to be hauled out, but also the well down there needs a deep scrub. Contact: zfox23@gmail.com
Seeking out professional help. I'm stuck on a jigsaw puzzle and don't want to look dumb at my in laws house. Contact: zfox23@gmail.com
Free neck massages this Friday, 11/15. Come to Jordan's old house and into my bedroom. Do not look me in the eye. That will ruin it for me. Contact: zfox23@gmail.com
High-ku
Knees poke into backs Pricey wifi doesn't work Don't fly United
5. It has to follow Halloween, the best holiday, which makes it suck even more. Not spooky enough. 6. Did I mention that thing about how we treated the indigenous people? 7. Stuffing is also bad. 8. I usually have to be at work at 6 for those Black-Friday-a-day-early fucks. 9. Dinner is served at like 3? 10. It's just a giant ad for Christmas. Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium Join The Medium
November 13th, 2019 @MediumSports themedium.submissions@ gmail.com SNORTS
MIAMI’S DION WAITERS ACTUALLY HIGH ON LIFE, NOT EDIBLE
DA DA DA DA DA SNOOOP DOGGGG BY ROBIN BANKS
BROOKLYN – Last Thursday, the Miami Heat were scheduled to play the Lakers on Friday night, after a victory over the Suns the night before. The chartered plane,
which had a cruising altitude of 35,000 ft., was not the only thing high that time. According to insiders and the Miami Heat medical team, Heat guard Dion Waiters suffered a panic attack after supposedly taking a gummy
bear, supposedly laced with THC. For you college folk/gummy bear enthusiasts/cannabis connoisseurs out there, Waiters ate an "edible". *Cue Stephen A. Smith saying, "STAY OFF THE WEEEEEEEED!"* Waiters had a medical team waiting for him as the team touched down in LA. While initial reports suggest that he had indeed eaten an edible, his personal statement suggests differrently. In a statement released to Adrian Wojnarowski, Waiters states that he did not taken an edible. He confirms that he was indeed eating gummy bears, but the aforementioned cannabis-laced ones were not consumed. "I did not eat no edibles. I com completely deny it. My homies and I were sharing some Haribo gummy bears. They were delicious. Oh, and Haribo, if you’re reading this, holla at ya boy for an endorsement.” Dions continued, “As I was chewing on the scrumptious, gelatinous, oh-so-colorful, fit-in-your-hand gummy bears, I looked outside
my window. All I saw were the Sierra Nevada mountains and I just told myself, ‘I made it’. That’s what I was high on. I was high on life. But seriously though, Haribo, come through”. Waiters, who is earning nearly 3 million dollars this season, may have been right. However, given the conspicuous statements the Miami Heat, as well as the NBA, decided to administer a second drug test to Waiters. Turns out, what he said was all a lie. In fact, when Waiters released the statement, he was still high. Turns out, the edible he had taken was manufactured by Edibles ‘R Us, the most expensive brand of edibles. The THC used for these edibles is extracted from the marijuana plants located in the foothills of Chihuahua, Mexico, where the farmers are children that give all their love to these plants – hence the potency. After all was said and done, Waiters has been suspended from the team for a while, as well as fined by the NBA for his actions. Currently, Snoop Dogg has started a twitter trend with the hashtag, #WeedWaiters.
Lebron James By the Numbers
Ten Things To Know About Giants vs. Jets BY FLICK BOOGER
1 They both suck
2 Their fans hate each other
3
Their QBs are hyped up
4 Giants lost to 1 win team
5 Jets won against a 2 win team
6 Who was the real winner?
7 Move Metlife to S. Island
9 OK, I've run out of things to say
6
$25M
Weeks that I've been waiting for him to post about Taco Tuesday
Spent on recruiting his best players (i.e. Kyrie, Wade, Bosh, Love)
17
There's already trash there
10
23
Weeks Lebron hasn't posted about Taco Illegitimate children he has Tuesday
I was stuck in traffic
8
6
Years he has been carrying his team
Successful surgeries
Crying Tears of Joy For a Returned Friend SINCE 1970
17
back