Spring 2017 GETTING ‘HOOKED’ … AND UNHOOKED By Lee Garlington Entering into the life of the “business of show,” as I like to call it these days, requires developing a specific toolset for your emotional well-being. I mean, seriously, you gotta do it. It’s a toolkit that is different for each and every one of us thespians because each us of has different ways in which we get “hooked.” What does getting “hooked” mean? It means that thing, that experience, audition or job, that comment by a “frenemy,” coach, agent, manager, teacher, casting director or even a well-meaning family member that gets its claws into your psyche and won’t let go. I envision an actual fishhook. It grabs you, it hurts and it won’t kill you as long as you get it out. Why does this happen? I think it’s partly because we make our living in a way that usually involves us being vulnerable in front of others. We are not hiding out in the background; the camera or audience’s eyes are on us. We put all of ourselves on the line, fully visible, so that when something unpleasant this way comes, our psyches are open. We How to Register 3 are available to be for Classes hurt a little more than the average bear. Workshop I get “hooked” by not 4-5 getting a part I really, Schedule really wanted to get and was convinced I had done such a good Workshop 6-8 job at the audition that no one could Descriptions possibly have done a better job. Then I Conservatory don’t get that part. Rules and 12 Then I get hooked.
IN THIS ISSUE:
Regulations
An old tape begins to play in my head and
my heart: I’m less than; I’m not good enough; I’m a failure; it’s not fair; where’s mine; why, God, why? My tape is about feeling like a victim. I’m being victimized by the business of show. It doesn’t happen very often — I’ve been doing this for a thousand years now, so it better not! But every now and then, one slips in and grabs me and I have to pick up my toolkit.
My tools for getting unhooked are the following: 1. Right-sizing. I neither diminish nor augment what I’m feeling. I don’t make this one experience an indictment of the horror of the entertainment industry. I don’t beat myself up because I’m feeling disappointed and a little sorry for myself. I own it. I experience it. I see it for what it is: a part I didn’t get that I wanted, not one I was entitled to. 2. Expressing my disappointment. I talk about it with my husband or a trusted friend. I write about it. I cry. I meditate. 3. Letting it go. I expr ess my disappointment for a finite time period. I don’t talk about it endlessly with multiple parties. I get it out, I feel the feelings and then I put a lid on it — time to put on my big-girl pants and move on. I do have actor friends who don’t go through this. At all. They are healthier and more well-adjusted than I am, and I secretly hate them. I have other actor friends who get hooked by completely different things: a director who wouldn’t let them have that third take; a part that was bigger in the audition than it was on the set; feeling judged by fellow actors; feeling envious of another actor with a “better” career; never feeling that what they did was good enough. Those things don’t hook me. Not today. What hooks you? Do you ever get caught by something that hurts you or makes you angry? What tools do you use? I have heard for most of my life that the hallmark of emotional sobriety is living with unresolved conflicts. There is so much of show business that is not explained, resolved or smooth sailing. There are tons of traps, triggers, pitfalls, and looming disappointments and letdowns. We have to be emotionally supple and flexible. In addition to taking classes and learning about the business side of show business, part of your job is to maintain your emotional well-being. Keep that toolset handy!