Change Your Words, Change Your Life - Joyce Meyer

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Words can poison,words can heal.

Words start and fight wars,but words make peace.

Words lead men to the pinnacles ofgood

And words can plunge men to the depths ofevil.

MargueriteSchumann

INTRODUCTION

Mostofusdon’trealizehowpowerfulwordsareandhowhuge animpacttheyhaveonourlives.Thinkaboutit.Eventwo simplesyllables Da-da arepowerfulenoughtomakea grownmancrywhenutteredforthefirsttimebyhisbaby.

Ibelievethatwordscontaintremendouspower:itcanbe eitherpositive,constructivepowerornegative,destructive power.

InGenesis,wereadthatGodusedwordstocreatethe worldwelivein.TheBiblesaysinProverbs18:21that the power oflife and death are in the tongue.Thatisanamazing statementandonethatweshouldseriouslyconsider.Each timewespeakwords,wearespeakingeitherlifeordeathto thosewhohearusandtoourselves.Soweneedtobecautious aboutthewordsweutter.

Ourmouthgivesexpressiontowhatwewant,think,and feel;therefore,itrevealsagreatdealabouttheonewhois speaking.Wecanlearnalotaboutourselvesjustbylistening tothethingsthatwesay.Matthew12:34–35saysthat“outof theheartthemouthspeaks.Thegoodmanfromhisinnergood treasureflingsforthgoodthings,andtheevilmanoutofhis innerevilstorehouseflingsforthevilthings.”Ourwordsare theresultofourinnerthoughtsandattitudes.Onemightsay thatourwordsareamoviescreenthatrevealswhatwehave beenthinkingandtheattitudesthatwehave.

Ibelievethatourwordscanincreaseordecreaseourlevel

ofjoy.Theycanaffecttheanswerstoourprayers,andhavea positiveornegativeeffectonourfuture.Weshouldpayalot ofattentiontowhattheWordofGodhastoteachusaboutthe powerofourwords.Whenapersonisn’tsatisfiedwiththe conditionofherlife,itwouldbewisetotakeaninventoryof thewordsshehasspoken.

Godhasagoodplanforeachoneofus,butitwon’t automaticallyhappenwithoutourcooperation.Wearepartners withGodinthislife,andHewantsustobeinagreementwith whatHehasspokenaboutusinHisWord.Asyoureadthis book,Ibelieveyouwillgainnewinsightintothefactthatas youchangeyourwords,youcanchangeyourlife.

The Impact ofWords

Theresewasafabulousworker,friend,andcolleague. Everyoneinherofficelovedher fromherbossestothe cleaninglady.Shealwayshadakindwordforeveryone.One ofherbestassetswasheramazingabilitytohelppeoplefeel goodaboutthemselves.Shecouldmakesomeonewhose feelingshadbeenhurtfeelliketheywerethebestthingsince slicedbread.Shecouldmakeaninsecurecolleaguefeellikea genius.Hersenseofhumoralwaysliftedothers’moodsand madethemlaugheveniftheywereannoyedorunhappy.Not onlythat,butshewassmart verysmart.Inherfiveyearson thejob,shehadreceivedthreepromotions,andheremployer hadrecentlytoldherthatshewasonafasttracktowarda managementposition.Ifthingscontinuedthewaytheywere going,shecouldevenexpectavice-presidencywithinjusta fewyears.

Oneeveningwhileworkinglateonaproject,she discoveredthatherbosshadmadeabadjudgmentcallina speechthathehadwrittenandaskedhertoedit.Hehad includedafoolishjokethatsomecouldfindoffensive.Therese pickedupthephonetoleavehimavoicemailandtellhimher thoughts.“Whatwereyouthinking,boss?”shesaid.“Don’t youknowtheCEOwillhatethatjoke?Andhehasnosenseof humor.”

Unfortunately,insteadofsendingthevoicemailtoher boss,Thereseinadvertentlypressedabuttonthatsentthe

voicemailtoeveryoneinthecompany.Thenextmorning, chaosensued.WhileTheresewasn’tfired,shedidn’tgetthat nextpromotion ortheoneafter.Thepushofabuttonhad sealedherfutureatthecompany.

That’sanextremeincident,buttherearemanyothers todaythathavefargreaterconsequences.Childrennolonger teaseoneanother;theybullyeachother,andbullyingisn’tan exceptionamongstudents it’sthenorm.Itdoesn’tjust happenatschoolorplay;ithappensontheInternet,too.In fact,anewwordhasenteredourvocabulary:cyberbullying. Facebookisnowsometimesusedasaweapon.

Neverinthehistoryoftheworldhavewordsbeenso cheap,quick,irrevocable,andviral.Throughcellphonesand theInternet,wenowhavetexting,e-mail,instantmessaging, blogs,Facebook,Twitter,andYouTube.Inaddition,wehave radio,television,andprintedmedia.Wordsareflyingaroundin theatmospherelikeneverbefore.AsofJune2010,77.2percent ofallAmericansusetheInternet(267millionpeople).One quarteroftheworld’spopulationisonline.Forty-onepercent ofallAmericansactivelymaintainaprofilepageonFacebook, whichgeneratesone billion piecesofcontenteverysingle day.U.S.awarenessofTwitterhasexplodedfrom5percentin 2008to87percentin2010,andbynowthefiguresareeven greater.In2010,morethan17millionAmericansusedTwitter andtheaveragenumberof“tweets”perdayintheUnited Statesalonewas15.5million.

Obviously,therearegoodusesofalltheseformsof communication;however,therearemanydisturbing consequences,includingonlinebullyingthathasledto teenagesuicide,identitytheft,childsafetyrisk,pornography

addiction,andruinedcareers.Jobapplicantsloseoutbecause ofFacebookaccountsofbadbehavior;workerssendilladvisede-mailsbeforethinking.

Peoplehavedestroyedrelationshipsbytypingtheirmost secretthoughtsine-mailandthenpressingSendbefore realizinghowrevealingthemessagewas.Owingtothe informationavailabletoday,personalprivacyhasallbut vanished.Sadly,anyonecansayanythingaboutanindividual whetheritistrueornot anditisouttherefloatingaround incyberspacejustwaitingforsomeonetoaccessthe information.People’sreputationshavebeendestroyedby whatothershavesaidandyettheirwordsheldnotruthatall. Youmightsaythatwehavea“wordexplosion”goingon,and wehaveyettoseewhatdamagewillbecausedbyitunless peoplelearnthepowerofwordsandmakeacommitmenttouse theminagodlyway.

WeEatOurWords…

Iamsureyouhaveheardsomeonesay,“Youaregoingtoeat thosewords.”Itmaysoundlikeamerestatementtous,butin realitywedoeatourwords.Whatwesaynotonlyaffects others,butalsoaffectsus.

Wordsarewonderfulwhenusedinaproperway.They canencourage,edify,andgiveconfidencetothehearer.A rightwordspokenattherighttimecanactuallybelife changing.

Amanhasjoyinmakinganaptanswer,andaword spokenattherightmoment howgooditis!Proverbs

Wecanliterallyincreaseourownjoybyspeakingright words.Wecanalsoupsetourselvesbytalkingunnecessarily aboutourproblemsorthingsthathavehurtusinrelationships. NottoolongagoIhadadisappointingsituationtakeplace withsomeoneIconsideredtobeaclosefriendandInoticed thateachtimeItalkedaboutit,Iwouldhaveadifficulttime gettingitoffmymindfortheremainderoftheday.Ifinally realizedthatifIwantedtogetoverit,Iwasgoingtohaveto stopmentallyandverballygoingoveritagainandagain.

Peoplekeptaskingmeaboutthesituationoutofgenuine concern,butIultimatelyrealizedthatIhadtoanswer,“Itis betterformeifIjustdon’ttalkaboutit.”

Thewordsthatcomeoutofourmouthsgointoourown earsaswellasotherpeople’s,andthentheydropdowninto oursoul,wheretheygiveuseitherjoyorsadness,peaceor upset,dependingonthetypesofwordswehavespoken.Our wordscanevenoppressourspirit.Goddesiresthatourspirit belightandfreesoitcanfunctionproperly,notheavyand oppressed.

Whenweunderstandthepowerofwordsandrealizethat wecanchoosewhatwethinkandspeak,ourlivescanbe transformed.Ourwordsarenotforcedonus;theyformulatein ourthoughtsandthenwespeakthem.Wecanlearntochoose ourthoughts,toresistwrongonesandthinkongood,healthy, andrightones.Wherethemindgoes,themanfollows.We couldalsosay,wherethemindgoes,themouthfollows!

Youdon’tevenhavetobetalkingtosomeonetoincrease yourjoywithyourwords.Themereconfessionofgoodthings

isenoughtocheeryouup.Ihavewrittenagreatdealaboutthe powerofconfessingGod’sWordoutloud,andIwillcontinue todosobecauseithasbeenoneofthemosthelpfulthingsI havedoneinmylife.

Whenyougetupinthemorning,ifthereissomething youneedtoattendtothatdaythatyou’renotlookingforward to,youcansay,“Idreadthisday,”oryoucansay,“Godwill givemestrengthtodaytodowhateverIneedtodoandtodoit withjoy.”Whichofthesetwostatementsdoyouthinkwould betterprepareyoufortheday?

“Awholesometongueisatreeoflife,”saysProverbs15:4 (NKJV).Accordingtoscripture,GodhasgivenHischildrena newnature,andwearetaughttodailyrenewourmindand attitude.Havingapositiveoutlookonlifeandspeaking positivewordsaretwoofthemostwholesomethingswecan do.

Fromthefruitofhiswordsamanshallbesatisfied withgood.Proverbs 12:14a

Agoodmaneatsgoodfromthefruitofhismouth.

Proverbs 13:2a

Aman’s[moral]selfshallbefilledwiththefruitof hismouth;andwiththeconsequenceofhiswordshe mustbesatisfied[whethergoodorevil].

Proverbs 18:20

SoChooseYourFoodCarefully

Anyonewhowantstobehealthyiscarefultochoosequality foodthatwillprovidegoodnutrition.Ifwewanttobehealthy

inoursoulandspirit,weshouldalsochoosetotakeinwords thatwillbuildusupandincreaseourpeaceandjoy.Aswe haveseen,weeatourwords,andwecanrightfullysaythat theyarefoodforoursouls.

Theworldisfilledwithbadnews.Turnonanynews stationorbuyanynewspaperornewsmagazineandyouwill finditfilledwithreportsofmurder,theft,wars,famine,andall kindsofhorriblytragicevents.Andalthoughthesethingsare prevalentintheworldtoday,Idowishwithallmyheartthatwe hadsome“GoodNews”stationsandnewspapers.Ibelieve therearemanygoodthingshappeningintheworldand probablythereismoregoodthanbad,buttheevilismagnified inawaythatoftenseemsoverwhelming.Althoughwemay wanttoknowwhatisgoingonintheworld,weshouldnot haveasteadydietof“badnews,”butweshouldchooseto read,watch,andtalkaboutgoodthings.

Fortunately,wedon’thavetowaitforsomeoneelseto cheerusup!Wecandoitwithourownwordsbywhatwe choosetotalkabout.Irecentlywalkedintoaroomandhearda groupofpeopletalkingaboutseveralbusinessesthathad recentlyfiledforbankruptcy.Thentheymentionedtwoothers thattheyhadheardweregoingtofileforbankruptcy.Ifelta gloomhangingintheatmospheresoIsaid,“Well,Godisnot bankruptandHeisonourside.”Immediatelytheatmosphere changedandeveryoneagreedwithme.

Iamnotsuggestingatallthatwedenyreality,butwecan choosewhatwewanttotalkabout.Ifwearenothelping ourselvesoranyoneelsebyrehearsingallthebadthings goingonintheworld,thenwhyfillourconversationwithit?I realizewearegoingtotalkaboutconditionsintheworldtoa

certaindegree.Wewanttobewellinformedofwhatisgoing on.Thereisnowisdominbeingignorantandtakenby surprise,buttotalkaboutitexcessivelyorwithnopurpose merelycreatesagloomyatmospherethatnobodywillenjoy.

ThinkingAboutWhatYouTalkAbout

Wetalkalotandquiteoftenpaynoattentiontowhatweare saying,letalonethinkseriouslyabouttheimpactofourwords. Iwanttoencourageyoutotakesometimeandthinkaboutthe typesofthingsyouusuallytalkabout.Whatkindof conversationdoyouenjoyandparticipatein?Ifwearehonest withourselves,wemayfindthatsomeofourbadmoodsare directlylinkedtoourconversation.Evensomeofourproblems canbelinkedtobadchoiceswemakeaboutwhatwesay.As weprogressinthisbook,youwilllearnthatwordshaveso muchpowerthattheycanactuallycreatecircumstancesinour lives.Forexample,ifamancontinuallysays,“Ican’tcontrol myappetite,”he’llbelievehecan’t,andthereforehewon’t controlit.Ifawomansays,“Iwillneverhaveanymoneyor ownnicethings,”shemayenduplivingfarbelowthelevel thatGoddesiresforhersimplybecauseshewon’teventryto dobetter.Webelievemoreofwhatwesaythanwebelieve whatanyoneelsesaystous.Thisisveryimportant,soIwant torepeatit:Youbelievewhatyousaymorethanyoubelieve whatotherssaytoyou.Thinkaboutit.Whensomeone complimentsyouwhenyou’rewearingadressthatyoudon’t particularlylikeandyou’rehavingabadhairday,doyou believeher?Ordoyoubelievethatlittlevoiceinsidethatsays, “She’sjustbeingnice,becauseyoudon’tlookgood;youlook

terrible.”

Ifwesayathingoftenenough,silentlyinourheartsor verbally,wewillbelieveitwhetherornotit’strue.Andthe Bibleteachesusthatwereceivewhatwebelieve.AllofGod’s promisesarereceivedthroughbelievingthem.Actually, believe means“toreceive,”and receive means“tobelieve.”

Believingandreceivingarelikeconjoinedtwins.Thetwo cannotbeseparated.Whatwebelievebecomesourreality!

Itwouldbeawiseexercisetotakealittletimeattheendof eachdayandthinkaboutwhatwetalkedaboutthatday.

Certainlyanytimewearefeelingabitgloomy,weshouldask ourselvesimmediately,“WhathaveIbeentalkingabout?”Our wordsdon’tcauseallofourproblems,buttheydocausea greatdealofthemandtheyshouldbegivenagooddealof considerationwhenwearelookingforanswerstotheproblems weencounterinlife.Weallhavechallengesinlife,butwecan makethembetterorworsebythewaywetalkaboutthem.

Whatkindofconversationdoyouhavearoundthelunch tableatwork?Whileridingtoworkinthecarpool?Chatting withfriendsatasocialgathering?Whynotdecideeachday beforeyouevengooutofthehousethatyouareonlygoingto talkaboutthingsthatbenefityouandeveryonewhohears you?Sincewehavethepowertomakeourdaybetter,we wouldbefoolishindeedifwedidn’tdoit.

LetmeclearlysaythatIdon’tbelievewecanchangeallof ourcircumstancesintopleasantonesbymakingpositive confessions,butIdobelievemanyofthemwillchange accordingtoGod’swill.Ionlywanttoteachyoutobein agreementwithGodandlearntosaywhatHesays.For example,Godwouldneversay,“Thisbadcircumstanceistoo

muchforme;itisjusttoohardandIamgoingtogiveup.”You mightbethinkingrightnow,“Well,ofcourseGodwouldn’t saythat!”Sothenwhydoyou?Godisincontrol,notus; however,wecancooperatewithHiswillorhinderitby agreeingordisagreeingwithHisWord.Onethingisforsure: Speakingnegativelycouldhurtyou,butspeakingpositively neverwill,sowhynotgowiththepositiveandseewhatkind ofresultsyouget?

SeedtimeandHarvest

IntheBiblewelearntheprincipleofsowingandreaping. BeginninginGenesis,Godteachesusthataslongastheearth remains,therewillbeseedtimeandharvest.Wecanreadily understandhowafarmersowsseedandwaitsforhisharvest, butweneedmoreunderstandingaboutwhatIwillrefertoas “spiritualseed.”Wecanseeatomatoseedwithoureyesand understandtheprocessofplantingandexpectingaharvestof tomatoes.Wecannotseeattitudes,thoughts,orwords,but theyarealsoseedsthatoperateinthespiritual(unseen)realm andtheyalsoproduceaharvestbasedonwhatwasplanted.

Ifapersoncontinuallysowsnegativethoughts,attitudes, andwords,hewillproducemanynegativeresultsinhislife. Likewise,ifhesowspositive,life-filledthoughts,attitudes,and words,hewillseegood,positiveresults.JesussaidthatHis wordswerespiritandlife(seeJohn6:63).

AsIhavealreadysaid,ourwordsaffectusaswellasthe hearer.Theytouchoursoulandspiritandcanproducea harvestinourphysicalbody.Forexample,ifsomeonesaid somethingveryhatefulandmeantome,itwouldaffectmy

emotionsandmind,whichcouldinturncausesadnessto appearonmycountenance.Likewise,ifsomeonesays somethingupliftingandencouragingtome,itaffectsmymind andemotionsinapositiveway,puttingasmileonmyface,and oftenIcanfeelaflowofextraenergycoursingthroughmy body.Weareenergizedbypositivewordsandweakenedby negativeones.Wordscanmakeusangryortheycancalmus down;therefore,theymusthavepower.

Aspeakerwastalkingaboutthepowerofpositive thinkingandthepowerofwords.

Oneoftheaudiencemembersraisedhishandandsaid, “It’snotsaying‘goodfortune,goodfortune,goodfortune’ thatwillmakemefeelbetter.Norwillsaying‘badluck,bad luck,badluck’makemefeelworse.They’reonlywordsandby themselveshavenopower.”

Thespeakerreplied,“Shutup,youfool,youdon’t understandathingaboutthis.”Theaudiencememberwas stunned.Hisfacebecamered,andhewastemptedtoreply, “You@&&#!!&&&#@!”[somethingIcan’tsayinthisbook].

Thespeakerraisedhishand.“Pleaseexcuseme.Ididn’t meantoupsetyou.Pleaseacceptmymostsincereapologies.”

Thememberoftheaudiencecalmeddown.Somepeopleinthe hallmurmured;othersshuffledtheirfeet.

Thespeakerresumed.“There’sthereplytothequestion youaskedme.Afewwordsmadeyouveryangry.Theother wordscalmedyoudown.Nowdoyouunderstand the power of words?”

Iwouldlikeyoutoseriouslyconsiderthefollowing scriptures,fortheyalsoshowusthepowerofwords:

Forastherainandsnowcomedownfromthe heavens,andreturnnotthereagain,butwaterthe earthandmakeitbringforthandsprout,thatitmay giveseedtothesowerandbreadtotheeater.

SoshallMywordbethatgoesforthoutofMy mouth:itshallnotreturntoMevoid[without producinganyeffect,useless],butitshallaccomplish thatwhichIpleaseandpurpose,anditshallprosperin thethingforwhichIsentit.Isaiah 55:10–11

InGod’sWordwearetaughtaveryimportantprinciple: Thesameasnaturalseedproducesaharvest,sodoesGod’s Word.WhenHespeaksit,orwespeakitasHischildren,we willseearesultbasedonthetypeofseedwehavesown.Very simplyput,ifItalkaboutlack,sickness,thingsIamangry about,andproblemsmostofthetime,thenthe“wordseeds”I amsowingwillactuallyproduceaharvestofmoreofthesame. Ontheotherhand,ifIchoosetotalkaboutprovision,health, forgiveness,God’sgoodness,andfaithfulness,Iamsowing seedsthatwillproduceagoodharvestaccordingtotheseedI amsowingwithmywords.

Afarmerdoesn’tplantatomatoseedandexpecttoget broccoli,andweshouldnotplantwordseedsofbadthings hopingtogetagoodharvest.Oncewetrulyunderstandthis principleandactaccordingly,wecanchangeourwordsand thereforewecanchangeourlives.

Neverunderestimatethepowerofyourwords.

CHAPTER 2

Taming Your Tongue

CanyouorItameourowntongue?AccordingtotheBible,itis impossible,sowhyeventry?Thetruthisthatwecannotdoit withoutGod’shelp,butwithGodallthingsarepossible,even thetamingofthetongue.IleanandrelyonGodeverydayto helpmecontrolmymouthandwhatcomesoutofit.The psalmistDavidprayedalotabouthiswords.Hemade decisionsnottosinwithhistongue,buthealsoreliedonGod forstrengthtofollowthrough.Hesaid,“Ihavepurposedthat mymouthshallnottransgress”(Psalm17:3b).“Letthewords ofmymouthandthemeditationofmyheartbeacceptablein Yoursight,OLord,my[firm,impenetrable]Rockandmy Redeemer”(Psalm19:14).“Isaid,Iwilltakeheedandguardmy ways,thatImaysinnotwithmytongue;Iwillmuzzlemy mouthaswithabridlewhilethewickedarebeforeme”(Psalm 39:1).“Setaguard,OLord,beforemymouth;keepwatchatthe doorofmylips”(Psalm141:3).Wecanseefromthese scripturesthatDavidwasexercisinghisfreewillandbeing determinednottosinwithhistongue,butatthesametimeHe leanedonGodtobringittopass.

Wecanhaverightdesires,andwhenwedo,itpleases GodandHegoestoworkonourbehalfhelpingusfollow throughwithrightactions.IsuggestthatyoustudytheWord ofGodinthisarea.Findouteverythingyoucanaboutwhat God’sWordsaysaboutthemouth,thetongue,andwords.I alsosuggestthatyoubegintoprayspecificallyaboutthese

areas,askingGoddailytohelpyou.Whenyourecognizethat youhavesinnedwithyourmouth,takeitseriouslyandbe quicktorepent.Tamingthetongueisnosmalltask,butitcan bedone,althoughneverwithoutGod’shelponadailybasis.

WhenIfirstheardteachingabouttheproblemsthatcan becausedbynottamingthetongue,Iwasconvictedofsin, anddeterminedtochange.Iwenthomefromthechurchservice whereIheardtheteachingandhadaplantokeepmymouth shutandjustnottalk.IreasonedthatifIdidn’ttalk,Icouldn’t getintotroublewithmywords.Ofcourse,thatplandidn’t workbecauseitwasextremeandhadnothingtodowithGod’s will.PeopleaskedmewhatwaswrongwithmeandwhyI wasn’ttalking,andmythoughtwas,“Youarenothappywhen ItalkbecauseIsaythewrongthing,andnowyou’renot happythatIamnottalking.Ican’tpleasepeoplenomatter whatIdo!”

Godwantsustotalk,andthatiswhyHegaveusamouth. Godlycommunicationisabeautifulthing,andwordsused properlydoalotofgood.God’splanwasnotformetosay nothing,buttolearnhowtotamemytonguewithHishelp.I hadaplantogohomeandtrytodobetter,butIhadleftGod entirelyoutoftheequation.Anytimewethinkwearegoingto doanythingapartfromHim,weareafailurewaitingtohappen. EvenwhenwewanttodoGod’swill,westillcan’tdoitwithout hishelp.

WeneedtoalwaysprayfirstandthenwaitforGod’splan. NevermakeyourownplanandexpectGodtoblessit.Ishould haveleftthechurchserviceandsaid,“God,Iamconvictedof sinbythemessagetonight.IknowthatIhavenotbridledmy tongueandthatIhavecausedagreatdealoftroublebynot

doingso.Pleaseforgiveme,Father,andhelpmechange.Show mewhattodoandhelpmedoitsomymouthcanbeablessing andnotaproblem.IaskitinJesus’name,Amen!”HadIdone that,Imighthavesavedmyselfalotoftrying,failing,and beingconfused.

Oneofthethingsweshouldprayabouteachdayis askingGodtohelpusspeakrightthings.Ourwordsarevery important,andtheyshouldbeusedforGod’spurpose.We shoulddesiretobeamouthpieceforGod,speakingHisWord faithfully.

Ifwearenotcarefulandprayerful,wecanunwittingly becomeavoiceforSatan,allowinghimtospeakthingsthrough usthatbringharmandhurttomanypeople.Wemaybegood peoplewhowouldneverdosuchathingonpurpose,butitcan happenifwedon’tunderstandtheimpactofwordsandhow muchweneedGod’shelpintamingourtongue.

ATinySparkCanStartaRagingFire

Margaretlovedtoplaythepiano,andtherewasnothingher husband,Richard,enjoyedmorethansettlingintohiseasy chairandlisteningtohiswifeplay.Onceortwiceaweekafter dinner,Margaretwouldsitdownatthepianoandplay.

Sonatas,waltzes,andthecouple’sfavoritetuneswouldflyoff herfingers,andsometimesRichardwouldsingalong.

WhenRicharddevelopedseriousheartproblems,hewas forcedtoretire,andMargaretbecamethesolebreadwinnerfor thefamily.Sheworkedlonghours,oftencominghomeateight o’clockatnighttopreparedinner,dothedishes,andgoright tobed.

Onenightatdinner,Richardlookedoveratthepianoand saidtoMargaret,“Imisshearingyouplaythepiano.”

Margaretsnapped,“And when mightIhavetimetodo that?”

Richardsaidnothing.Margaretinstantlyregrettedherretort, butshedidn’tapologize;she’dgobacktoplayingthepiano forRichardagainassoonasshecouldgetherjobunder controlandstartcominghomeearlier.

Margaretnevergotthechancetodothat.Shecamehome fromworkafewweekslaterandfoundRichardlyingonthe basementfloor.He’dhadaheartattackandwasdead.

NowthatRichardwasgone,Margaretcouldn’tbring herselftoplaythepiano.

Whatasadstoryandvividexampleofthewildfirethat justafewwordscanignite.IfMargaretcouldtakebackthose fewsarcasticwordsshesaidinamomentofannoyance,I’m sureshewould.Butitistoolate.Howshewishesshehad tamedhertonguewhileshehadthechance.

Fortunately,mostofuswillneverfindourselvesina situationlikeMargaret’s.

Mostofthetime,lessonslearnedaren’tascostlyashers was.Anounceofpreventionistrulyworthapoundofcure. Let’slookathowwecanpreventourtonguesfromsparkinga fire.

NineversesofscripturefoundinJames3:2–10area powerfulfoundationforlearninghowtotamethetongue.Let’s explorethemtogether.

Forwealloftenstumbleandfallandoffendinmany things.Andifanyonedoesnotoffendinspeech [neversaysthewrongthings],heisafullydeveloped

characterandaperfectman,abletocontrolhiswhole bodyandtocurbhisentirenature.James 3:2

Ifittakesaperfectmouthtomakeaperfectman,Iamsure thatnoneofuswillfullyaccomplishitwhilewearehereon earth.Itisourjobtopresstowardthemarkofperfection,and yettheBibleteachesusthatwewillnotattainperfectionuntil Jesus,thePerfectOne,comestotakeustolivewithHimfor eternity(seeICorinthians13:9–10).Wecangrow,wecan change,andwecandobetterandbetter.Butifweobtained perfectioninourbehavior,wewouldnolongerneedJesus andthatisnevergoingtohappen.Wecanhaveperfecthearts towardGodbyfullywantingHiswillanddoingallthatwecan toworkwiththeHolySpirittowardthatgoal.Godseesour heart,andIbelieveHecountsusasperfectevenwhileweare makingthejourneytowardperfection.Iamverygratefulthat Godseesourheartsandnotmerelyourperformance.

Ifwesetbitsinthehorses’mouthstomakethemobey us,wecanturntheirwholebodiesabout.

Likewise,lookattheships:thoughtheyaresogreat andaredrivenbyroughwinds,theyaresteeredbya verysmallrudderwherevertheimpulseofthe helmsmandetermines.James 2:3–4

Thebitinthehorse’smouthisatinypieceofmetal attachedtothebridlethatwillforcethemightyhorsetoturnin anydirectionthattheriderdetermines.Itisalittlething comparedtoahorse,whichcouldweighasmuchas3,830 pounds.That’sright!Althoughitisunusual,onehorse

actuallyweighedthatmuch,andwascontrolledbyatinypiece ofmetal.Thebitactuallyputspressureonthehorse’stongue, whichIthinkisamusingsinceGodisusingitasanexampleto teachustounderstandtheimportanceofthetongue.

Thenextexampleisamightyship.Someshipsareocean linersandcanbecityblocksinlength,yettheyaresteeredby arudderthatisverysmallincomparisontothehugeship.The messagetousisthatourtonguesandthewordsthatrollover themarepowerfulenoughtogivedirectiontoourentirelives. Agreatdealofhowourliveshaveturnedoutsofarisaresult ofourwordsinthepastorwordsthatwerespokentous.Itis comfortingtoknowthatIcanchangethedirectionofmylife bychangingmywords,justasahorsemancanchangethe directionofhishorseoraship’scaptaincanchangethe directionofhisship.

Evensothetongueisalittlemember,anditcanboast ofgreatthings.Seehowmuchwoodorhowgreata forestatinysparkcansetablaze!

Andthetongueisafire.[Thetongueisa]worldof wickednesssetamongourmembers,contaminating anddepravingthewholebodyandsettingonfirethe wheelofbirth(thecycleofman’snature),beingitself ignitedbyhell(Gehenna).James 3:5–6

Afewwordsspokenmaynotseemlikeabigthing,butthe Biblecomparesthemtosparksthatstarthugeforestfires.We haveheardreportsofmillionsofacresofforestdestroyed owingtosomeonethrowingalitcigaretteontheground.Such alittlething,butitcausedterribledestruction.Doourwords

reallyhavethatmuchpower?IfwearegoingtobelieveGod’s Word,thenwemustbelievethattheydo.

Accordingtotheseverses,thetongueisverywickedand depravedifitisnotcontrolledbyGod.Itissetinthemidstof ourmembers(ourbody)andactuallyhasthepowerto contaminatethewholebodyandsetthingsinmotionthat bringdevastatingresults.ItcanbeusedbyHellitselftobring aboutthingsthatonlySatanwoulddesire.

Thankfully,thereisanothersidetothisstory.Through God’shelp,thatsamelittletonguecanbeturnedtowardGod andusedforHisgreatpurposesonearth.Itcanbeusedto preachtheGospelofJesusChristanddogreatharmtoSatan andtheKingdomofDarkness.Itcanbeusedformanygood things,andeventhebadthingsithasbeenusedforinthepast canbeturnedaroundforgood.Wecanalwaysovercomeevil withgood(seeRomans12:21).Getstartedrightawayspeaking goodthingsandyouwillstartseeingchange.

Foreverykindofbeastandbird,ofreptileandsea animal,canbetamedandhasbeentamedbyhuman genius(nature).

Butthehumantonguecanbetamedbynoman.Itis arestless(undisciplined,irreconcilable)evil,fullof deadlypoison.

WithitweblesstheLordandFather,andwithitwe cursemenwhoweremadeinGod’slikeness!

Outofthesamemouthcomeforthblessingand cursing.Thesethings,mybrethren,oughtnottobe so.James 3:7–10

Ihaveseentelevisionprogramsshowinghowmenhave trainedanimalstodoamazingthings,andtheyalwaysintrigue me.Itisamazingthatwecantrainawildanddangerousanimal tojumpthroughhoopsoffire,andyetwecannottameatiny thinglikethetongue.However,asIsaidearlier,allthingsare possiblewithGod,andwhenwegetseriousabouttamingthe tongue,Godwillgetseriousabouthelpingus.

Let’sbedeterminedtoeliminatethemixturethatcomes outofourmouth.Wemaygotochurchandsingsongsof praisetoGod,andthengotolunchandslanderthevery peoplewesatinchurchwith.Icanrememberdoingthismyself, andIamsureIamnottheonlyone.Ididn’tknowanybetter whenIdiditbecauseIhadneverhadthiskindofteaching.But nowthatIdoknowandyouknow,weareresponsibletowork withtheHolySpirittowardpositivechange.

TeachersBeware

IhavelearnedthatbeingateacherofGod’sWordgivesmean evengreaterresponsibilityintheareaoftamingmytongue thanotherpeople.IcannothaveGod’sWordcomingoutof mymouthwhilesimultaneouslyallowingSatantouseitforhis dirtywork,too.

Notmany[ofyou]shouldbecometeachers (selfconstitutedcensorsandreproversofothers),my brethren,foryouknowthatwe[teachers]willbe judgedbyahigherstandardandwithgreaterseverity [thanotherpeople;thusweassumethegreater accountabilityandthemorecondemnation].James 3:1

Thisverseprecedesalltheotherswehavediscussed aboutthemouthinJames3.Therearemanytypesofteachers intheworld.Bibleteachers,Sundayschoolteachers,grammar andhighschoolteachers,collegeprofessors,andparentsare teachers.Ihaveatraineratthegymwhoteachesmeto exercise,andIwouldnotbeveryimpressedorlikelytolistento herifshedidn’texerciseregularlyherself.Weallexpectthose thatareteachingustodothesamethingtheyteachustodo.

Godtaughtmethislessoninaverystrongwayseveral yearsago.IcametoaplaceinmyteachingministrywhenI reallyfeltthatGod’spower(anointing)wasnotonwhatIwas saying,andIwasveryconcernedaboutit.Ifinallysetmyself toseriouslyseekGodaboutthesituation,butafterthreedays, Istillhadnoanswer.IwastalkingtoDaveaboutit,andhesaid thathefeltGodhadshowedhimwhatwaswrong.Well,Iam sureyouknowthatIwasnotpleasedthathethoughtheknew whatwaswrongwithme,andIimmediatelybecamedefensive. Davedidn’targuewithmeatall,buthesimplysaid,“Thisis whatIbelieveGodshowedme,andyoucantakeitorleaveit.”

DaveaskedmeifIrememberedsayingsomenegative thingstohimaboutanotherpreacher’sstyleofpreaching,and Isaid,“Well,youagreedwithme!”Istillwasn’treadytobe accountable.Davesaid,“Yes,Ididagree,butIamnottheone whoispreachingandIamnothavingaproblem.”Ouch!After aboutahalfdayofbeingstubborn,Ifinallysettleddown,and oneofthefirstplacestheHolySpiritledmetoinGod’sWord wasJames3:1–10,whichspeaksaboutteachersbeingmore accountablethanothersintheareaoftheirwords.WhenI finallyrealizedwhatIhaddone,IwasextremelysorryandfeltI hadlearnedagoodlesson.Iregrettosaythatacoupleof

yearslaterIdidthesamethingagainandIimmediatelyfeltthe lossofGod’spoweronmypreaching.ThattimeIdidn’thave tosearchforthereasonbecauseIrememberedmyprevious lesson.Iimmediatelyrepentedandhavetriedtobeverycareful eversincethentonevercriticallyjudgesomeoneelsewhois preachingGod’sWord.

NotonlywasIdoingwhatIwasteachingothersnottodo asfarasspeakingwordsofcriticism,butIwasspeaking againstanotherpersoncalledbyGodtopreachtheGospel andthatmadeitevenworse.

Teachersbeware!Pleasereceivethisasawordofcaution. Ifyouaregoingtoteachothers,youmustmeetahigher standardthanthosewhoarenotteachers.Wewillbejudged byastricterstandardandwithgreaterseverity.Thisdoesnot relieveothersoftheirresponsibility,butitdoesplaceadouble responsibilityonthoseofuswhoteachbecauseofour positionofleadership.

CHAPTER 3

Learning to Say What God Says

Whenmyyoungestgrandsonwasninemonthsold,Istarted workingwithhimdailytryingtogethimtosay“grandma.”I saiditoverandover,andhelaughed.Iwantedhimtomimic me,andevenifhedidn’tgetitperfect,Iwantedtohearhimsay “grandma.”IwantedhimtosaywhatIwassaying!After severaldays,hefinallydidsayhisversionof“grandma,”and eventhoughitsoundedabitlikea grrrr witha ma attheend ofit,weallgotveryexcited.Thishashelpedmerealizehow thrilledGodmustbewhenwefinallystartsayingwhatHesays.

TheapostlePaultoldtheCorinthianChristiansthatthey werecarnalandimmatureandthattheydidn’tknowhowtotalk yet.

However,Brethren,Icouldnottalktoyouasto spiritual[men],butastononspiritual[menoftheflesh, inwhomthecarnalnaturepredominates],astomere infants[inthenewlife]inChrist[unabletotalkyet!].1 Corinthians 3:1

Ihavealwaysfoundthisscripturefascinating.Weknow thattheycouldtalk,sowhatdidPaulmean?Hemeantthey didn’ttalkright.Theirconversationdidn’tagreewithGod’s Word.

IfwewanttowalkwithGod,wemustagreewithGod.If myhusbandandIaretryingtotakeawalktogetherandIam pullinginonedirectionwhilehepullsinanother,wewillbe

frustratedandnotmakemuchprogress.Likewise,wecannot pullagainstGod’sdirectionandexpecttoenjoylife.

Dotwowalktogetherexcepttheymakean appointmentandhaveagreed? Amos 3:3

Manypeoplewalktogethereverymorningorevery eveningatasettime.Theyhavemadeanappointmentand agreedtowalktogether.Whydon’tyouletthereadingofthis bookbethetimeyouagreetowalkwithGodfullybylearning tosaywhatHesays?Godhasaverygoodplanforeachoneof us,butwewillneverenjoyitunlesswelearnhowtosaywhat Hesaysabouteverything.

EveryonewhoconsidershimselftobeabelieverinGod wouldsaythathewantsGod’spromisestocometopassand bearealityinhislife.Yetmanybelieverssaytheopposite abouttheirlifeofwhatGodsaysinHisWord.

Forexample,manypeoplesaytheyfeelguiltyortheyfeel unloved,yetGodsaysthatHelovesuseverlastinglyand unconditionally.Toooftenwetalkabouthowwefeelorwhat wethinkinsteadoftalkingaboutwhatGod’sWordsays,andif thatisthecase,thenweneedtochange.

JesusistheHighPriestofourconfession(seeHebrews 4:14).HeworksforustobringGod’swilltopass,butcanonly worksofarasweagreewithGodinwhatHesays.Our confessionismerelywhatwesay,andJesusworks accordingly.IfItoldoneofmychildrenthatIwasgoingto givethemawonderfulpartyfortheirbirthdaythisyear,Iwould expectthemtobesayingthesamethingthatIsaid.Ifthey said,“No,you’renot,”thatwouldmakemethinktheydidn’t

trustme.IfIcontinuallyheardthemsay,“IdoubtthatMom willcomethroughandgivemeabirthdayparty,”Imightjust decidenottodoitafterall.Thepowerofagreementisamazing. Whenweagreewithotherpeople,itincreasesourpower tenfold,sojustimaginewhathappenswhenweagreewith God. TheWrittenWordofGod

TheBibleisGod’sWordwrittendownforussowecanlearn andmeditateonit.GodwantsHisWordtobecomepartofus, andHewantsustoguideourlivesaccordingtoit.HisWordis truth,anditisfilledwithwisdom.Itisfulloflifeandpower.

ThepsalmistDavid,whoultimatelybecameaking,greatly valuedGod’sWord.ManyofthePsalmsthathewrotetalk abouttheimportanceofGod’sWord,andPsalm119isoneof thebest.DavidbeginsthisPsalmbysayingthatweare blessedifweorderourconductandconversationinthelawof theLord.HeisliterallysayingweneedtodowhatGoddoes andsaywhatHesays.

Dorothy,aneighty-nine-year-oldwoman,livesina nursinghomeinupstateVermont.Diabetesandarthritishave robbedherofbothhervisionandherabilitytowalk.Whenher nieceIrenecametovisitherfromoutofstate,sheexpectedto findherauntdepressedanddistressed.

Butinstead,herAuntDorothygreetedherwarmlyand settledinforawonderfulvisitfromherfavoriteniece.They spenthourschattingandlaughing,andfinally,Irenecouldno longersuppresshercuriosity.“AuntDot,youareblindand crippled.Howdoyoukeepsuchasunnydisposition?”she

asked.

“That’seasy,”saidheraunt.“I’vespentfortyyears learningGod’sWordandsingingHispraises.Infact,I memorizedmuchoftheBiblesimplythroughyearsofstudy. NowwheneverIstarttofeelsorryformyself,Ispeakandsing scriptureandhymnsofpraise.I’mnotsurehowmyroommate likesit,butitalwayscheersmeup!”

Noneofuslookforwardtogettingoldandlosingour faculties.Butifthatdaycomes,wouldn’tyouliketobe preparedwithanarsenalofscripturesandsongsofpraiseat yourfingertips?WhenweobeyGodandhideHisWordinour heart,Heprovidesblessingsinwaysthatwedon’teven anticipate.

WithmylipshaveIdeclaredandrecountedallthe ordinancesofYourmouth.Psalm119:13

WecannotsaywhatGodsaysunlessweknowwhatHe hassaid,andthatiswhywemuststudytheWordofGod diligently.InordertoknowGodandwhattoexpectfromHim, wemustknowHisWord becausetheyareone.Itisnot possibleforGodtosayonethinganddoanother.Hecannot lieandisalwaysfaithfultoperformwhatHehaspromised.

Satanisaliarandseekstodeceiveusthroughhislies.The onlywaywecanrecognizehisliesistoknowthetruth.Only thetruth,whichisGod’sWord,willmakeusfree(seeJohn 8:31–32).

IhavestudiedGod’sWorddiligentlyforthirty-fiveyears, andmylifehaschangedbecausemymindhasbeenrenewed.I havelearnedhowtospeakinagreementwithGod,andIam

enjoyingthefulfilledpromisesofGod.Iknowmanypeople whohavethesametestimony,butIalsoknowmanywho, althoughtheywouldliketheirlivestoimprove,won’t disciplinethemselvestostudyandlearntheWordortospeak theWord.Itisourchoiceandonlywecanmakeit.Isittimefor youtomakeanappointmentwithGodandbegintoagreewith Him?Ifso,thendon’tdelay…todayisthedaytobegin!

WhatDoesGodSayAboutYourPast?

Manypeoplearestuckintheirpast.Iftheyhavedone somethingbadorsomethingbadhashappenedtothem,they believethattheycannevergetbeyondit.Thatisexactlywhat thedevilwantspeopletobelieve,butaccordingtoGod’s Word,itisnottrue.Wecanrecoverfromabadthinginour past,andGodwillevenworkgoodoutofit.GodisaRedeemer, andthatmeansHepurchasessinandotherbadthingsinour liveswiththebloodofChristandturnsthemintosomething beautiful.

Justlikemanyofyou,Ihaveapastfilledwithsinandpain frombeingabusedandrejected.IwastotallyconvincedthatI wouldalwayshaveaninferiorlifebecauseofmypast.I thoughtIwouldjustdothebestIcould,butIcertainlydidn’t expectanythingamazinglywonderful.ButIlearnedfromGod’s WordthatIcouldbecompletelyforgivenforallmysin,and thatIcouldletgowhatwasbehindbecauseGodwasdoinga newthing(seeHebrews10:17–18,Isaiah43:19).

IsawthesepromisesinGod’sWord,andthenIreleased myfaithinthembysayingwhatGodsaid.Inolongersaid, “Thereisnohopeforme.Itistoolate.Ihaveruinedmylife.”I

startedsaying,“Iamforgiven,Iforgivethosewhohurtme,and IletgoofwhatisbehindbecauseGodisdoinganewthingin mylife.”

Faithisaforcethatisresidentinourregeneratedspirit, butfaithmustbereleasedinordertowork.Wereleaseitby takingGod-inspiredaction,byprayingorbysayingwhatGod says.

RecentlyIwasteachingataconference,andIfeltledby theHolySpirittoaskhowmanypeoplefelttheywerestuckin theirpast.Iwassurprisedwhenabout75percentofthe attendeesliftedtheirhands.IsharedwhatGodsaysaboutour pastandchallengedthemtomakeadecisiontoagreewithGod. Thenumberofpeoplewhoarepreventedfrommakingforward progressbecausethey’restuckintheirpastisastounding.The answerisclearlyfoundinGod’sWord:“Letgoofwhatlies behind,forGodisdoinganewthing.”Itmayseemimpossible, butsayingwhatGodsaysaboutuswilleventuallyrenewour mindandattitudeandreleaseusintothefuturethatGod desiresforus.Nomatterwhatyouhavedoneinthepastor whathasbeendonetoyou,Ichallengeyoutostartsaying,“I amforgiven,Godhasagoodplanformylife,andIwillnever lookback.”Ifweweresupposedtobelookingbackatwhere wecamefrom,wewouldhaveeyesinthebackofourhead,but wedon’t.Oureyesareatthefrontofus,sowecanalwayslook forward.

Wecannotbaseourbeliefsonhowwefeelorwhatwe think,butwemustbasethemonGod’sWord.HisWordisthe highestauthorityonearth.ItisamightyswordHehasgiven us,butwemustwieldit.Wemustspeakitandbelieveit, meditateonit,andactuponit.Don’tspendyourlifebowing

downtoyourowncarnalthoughtsorfeelings.Itistimetolive deeperthanthesoul(mind,will,andemotions).Itistimeto believewearejointheirswithJesusChristandthatwecan reignaskingsinlifethroughrighteousness(seeRomans5:17, 8:17).

TheGodKindofRighteousness

Therearetwokindsofrighteousness.Thefirstkindis righteousnessthroughrightbehavior,andthatistheonewe aremostfamiliarwith.Westrugglethroughoutlifetryingtodo whatisexpected,andwhatsocietytellsusisright.Ifwehave anyfaithinGod,wealsostruggletryingtopleaseHimby obeyingallofHiscommands.Mostofusneverfeelthatwe succeedormeasureuptothestandardthathasbeenset.We feellikefailures,andingeneral,wefeel“wrong”about ourselvesandmostofwhatwedo.Wecompareourselveswith otherpeoplethatwefeelarebetterthanusandwetrytobelike them,butthatneverworkseitherandonceagainwefeelall wrong.Thefeelingofbeingwrongleadstofeelingsofguilt andcondemnation,bothofwhichpressusdowninlifeand causeustolivefarbelowourrightsandprivilegesasachildof God.

Wespendourlivestryingtogetsomethingthat accordingtoGod’sWordwecanhavefreelyasagiftofGod’s gracethroughfaith.Isaythatitisliketryingtogetintoachair wearealreadysittingin.

Thesecondkindofrighteousnessthatisavailabletousis God’sRighteousness.ItisHisgifttousatthetimewereceive JesusChristasourSavior.Itcomesbygracethroughfaith.

Andsinceitisafreegift,itcannotbeearned,deserved,orpaid forbyus.ThegiftofrighteousnessthatGodgivesHischildren hasalreadybeenpaidforbythesuffering,death,and resurrectionofJesus.

GodtakesoursinandgivesusHisveryown righteousness,andbyanactofHisloveandmercy,Heviews usasbeinginrightstandingwithHimthroughourfaith.

ForoursakeHemadeChrist[virtually]tobesinWho knewnosin,sothatinandthroughHimwemight become[enduedwith,viewedasbeingin,and examplesof]therighteousnessofGod[whatweought tobe,approvedandacceptableandinright relationshipwithHim,byHisgoodness].2

Corinthians 5:21

Thisisthegreatexchange!Godtakesoursins,putsthem onJesus,andgivesusHisrighteousness.Someonehadtopay forsin,andwecouldnot.SoGodsentHisonlySon,Jesus,to dothejob.Hebecameoursubstitute.Areyouwillingtosay whatGodsays?WillyoucomeintoagreementwithHim?

Insteadofsaying,“Iamnogood.Idoeverythingwrong.Ican nevermeasureuptowhatIneedtobe,”startsaying,“Iamthe righteousnessofGodinChrist.Godseesmeasright,andI haverightrelationshipwithHimthroughChrist.”

TheEnglishevangelistGeorgeWhitefield,wholivedin theeighteenthcentury,learnedthatgreatexchangewhenhe wasfalselyaccusedbyhisenemies.Atonepointinhis ministry,Whitefieldreceivedaviciousletteraccusinghimof wrongdoing.

Hisreplywasbriefandcourteous:“Ithankyouheartily foryourletter.Asforwhatyouandmyotherenemiesare sayingagainstme,Iknowworsethingsaboutmyselfthanyou willeversayaboutme.WithloveinChrist,GeorgeWhitefield.” Hedidn’ttrytodefendhimself.Hewasmuchmoreconcerned aboutpleasingtheLord.

Ihadaseverecaseofguiltcausedbysexualabuseinmy earlylife,andIprobablyhadtosay,“Iamtherighteousnessof GodinChrist,”thousandsoftimesbeforeIactuallystarted feelingtheresultofitinmylife.However,eventuallythetruth swalloweduptheliesofSatanIhadbelievedpreviously,andI nolongerwalkaroundwiththeconstantcompanionofguilt. TheburdenhasliftedandIamfree!

Youmightask,“Joyce,howcanIberighteouswhenIstill dosomanythingswrong?”Theanswerliesinknowingthat GodseesyouasHisrighteouschild,butHestilldealswith yourbadbehavior.Hedoesitinalovingbutfirmwaythatwill liftyououtofsinfulbehavior.Heneverexpectsustodo anythingunlessHegivesustheabilitytodoitfirst,soHe givesusrighteousness.Heplantsitasaseedinourspiritand thentakeswhatHehasplantedinusandworksitoutthrough us,anditeventuallybecomesrightbehaviorastheresultof therighteousnessofGodwereceivedasagiftfromHim.

WecannotearnGod’sapprovalandlovethroughour rightbehavior.ButbasedontheGodkindofrighteousness,we trytodowhatisrightbecauseHehasalreadyapprovedofus andlovesusunconditionally.WeareworkingoutofHislove, ratherthantogetHislove.

KeepsayingwhatGodsays.Changeyourwords,andyou canchangeyourlife!

Exceedingly,AbundantlyAboveandBeyond Whatshouldweexpectinlife?Shouldweexpectbarely enoughandlack?OrshouldweexpectGodtokeepHisWord andsupplyallofourneedsaccordingtoHisrichesinChrist?

TheLordismyShepherd(tofeed,guideandshield me),Ishallnotlack.Psalm23:1

DarewetakeHimatHisWordandsaywhatHesays?

Godisabletodoexceedingly,abundantly,aboveand beyondallthatwecouldeverdaretohope,askor think.Ephesians 3:20b

Weoftenexperiencegreatfearinourlife,thinkingthatour needsmightnotbemet.YetGodhaspromisedtoprovidefor usifwewillsimplybringourofferingstoHimasanactoffaith. Wetakesomeofourmoneyorotherresourcesandgivethem, andwhenwedo,Godseesthemasseed.Ifwecontinue wateringthatseedbyspeakingGod’sWordoverit,wewillsee abeautifulharvestindueseason.

OnFebruary13,2011,Iwrotethisinmyjournal,andI recentlycameacrossit:

Ihavehadtheword providence onmymindlately.It referstoGod’scareofHiscreation.Heseesneedsand wantsaheadoftimeandmakesprovisiontosupply them.God’spowerthatcreatesus,keepsus!Thereis neveramomentinourlifewhenGodisnottakingcare ofus.

GoddesiresthatwetrustHimtotakecareofusmoment bymoment.HehasHiseyeonusatalltimesandneverforone secondleavesusalone.Heknowswhatweneedevenbefore weask.

ConsidertheseversesandstarttosaywhatGodsays: Leteachone[give]ashehasmadeuphisownmind andpurposedinhisheart,notreluctantlyor sorrowfullyorundercompulsion,forGodloves(He takespleasurein,prizesaboveotherthings,andis unwillingtoabandonortodowithout)acheerful (joyous,“prompttodoit”)giver[whoseheartisinhis giving].

AndGodisabletomakeallgrace(everyfavorand earthlyblessing)cometoyouinabundance,sothat youmayalwaysandunderallcircumstancesand whatevertheneedbeself-sufficient[possessing enoughtorequirenoaidorsupportandfurnishedin abundanceforeverygoodworkandcharitable donation].

2 Corinthians 9:7–8

Idon’tbelievewecanjustquicklyreadovertheseverses andgrasptheamazingpromisethattheyoffer.Readthemover andoveruntilyouhavesqueezedouteverydropofrevelation theyoffer.Godwillabundantlysupplyallofourneedsifwe willsimplygivetoHimasanactoffaith.Remember,faithmust bereleased!

Goddoesnotneedourmoney,butHeasksforitasaway oftestingandgrowingourtrustinHim.Ifapersonissopoor thatshehasabsolutelynomoneytogive,thenshecangive

herdesiretogive,orshecangivetimeorprayerforothers.We canalwaysfindawaytogiveifwehaveagivingheart.When wegive,dowealwaysgetimmediateresults?Whenafarmer plantshisseedintheground,doesheimmediatelygeta harvest,ordoeshehavetowaterhisseedandwait?Weknow thathewaits,andwewillalsohavetowait.Thewaitingtimeis thetestingandgrowingtime.Ourfaithistestedwhenwehave donewhatGodhasaskedustodoandwedon’tseetheresult ofourobedienceyet.Butifwearenotwearyinwelldoing,we shallreap(seeGalatians6:9).

IknowthatGodwantseachofustotrustHimfor provision.Hedoesnotwantustoworryorbeinfear.God’s WordisliterallyfilledwithHispromisesofprovision.

Therearethosewho[generously]scatterabroad,and yetincreasemore;therearethosewhowithholdmore thanisfittingorwhatisjustlydue,butitresultsonly inwant.

Theliberalpersonshallbeenriched,andhewho watersshallhimselfbewatered.Proverbs 11:24–25

HewhohaspityonthepoorlendstotheLord,and thatwhichhehasgivenHewillrepaytohim.Proverbs 19:17

Butseek(aimatandstriveafter)firstofallHis kingdomandHisrighteousness(Hiswayofdoingand beingright),andthenallthesethingstakentogether willbegivenyoubesides.Matthew 6:33

Godpromisestomeet all ofourneeds.Hemaynotgive useverythingwewantwhenwewantit,butHewillbefaithful

toprovide.GodalwaysdoesHispartifwewilldoourpart,and doingourpartincludessayingwhatGodsays.Godneverdoes barelyenough;Healwaysdoesmorethanenough.Heputan abundanceoffishintheseawhenHecreatedit.Hecausedthe peopleofIsraeltoabundantlyincreaseinnumberwhilethey wereheldincaptivityinEgypt.Godisabundantinmercy.Heis abletodoexceedingly,abundantlyaboveandbeyondallwe everdaretohope,askorthink.WemakeHimtoosmallinour eyesandexpectmuchlessthanHedesirestogive.

GiveasGodhasaskedyouto,andthenwateryourseed bysayingwhatHesaysaboutyourprovision.Makeyour appointmentandagreewithGod,andyourlifewillimprove dramatically.

CHAPTER 4

The Characteristics ofa Mature Christian

TheBiblespeaksofthreetypesofpeople.First,thereisthe unregenerateperson,thenatural,nonspiritualindividualwho hasnotacceptedorwelcomedthethingsofGodintohis(or her)heart.HehasnotreceivedJesusashisSaviorandwalks accordingtohisownwill.Hisspiritisfilledwithdarkness.

Second,thereisthepersonwhohasbeenregeneratedby theHolySpiritthroughfaithinJesusChristbutremainscarnal (fleshly).

Third,thereisthematurebeliever,apersonwholearnsto dothewillofGodnomatterhowitfeelsorhowdifficultitis. HeworkswiththeHolySpiritcontinuouslytobechangedinto theimageofJesusChrist.HelearnstosaywhatGodsays,and helivesalifededicatedtoGodandHispurposes.

IwishwewereallthematureChristian,butsadlythatis notthecase.Moreoftenthannot,onceapersonhasreceived ChristashisSavior,heremainsintheimmatureorcarnalstate. Thatmeanshenevergrowsupandmaturesingodlywaysand principles.ThechurchisfilledwithcarnalChristians.They havereceivedChrist,andtheydocareaboutthethingsofGod, buttheystillact,think,andtalkasachild.Animmature Christianisselfish,self-centered,andfindsitdifficulttobe happyunlessheisgettingwhathewantsinlife.

WhenIwasachild,Italkedlikeachild,Ithoughtlikea child,Ireasonedlikeachild;nowthatIhavebecomea

man,Iamdonewithchildishwaysandhaveputthem aside.1 Corinthians 13:11

Ifwedon’tmakethedecisiontoputasidechildishways, wewillremainbabyChristiansandwillneverbeofmuchvalue totheworkthatGoddesirestoaccomplishintheearth.Weare tomakeadecisivededicationofourbodiesandpresentallof ourselvestoGodforHisuse(seeRomans12:1).Wemustmake thisdecisiononpurpose,becauseitwon’tjusthappen automatically.

TheCorinthianswerebornagain,baptizedintheHoly Spirit,operatinginthegiftsoftheSpirit;andyetPaulsaidthat theywerecarnal.Theywerecontrolledbyordinaryimpulses. Theywereruledbytheiremotions.Theywereenvious,jealous, andtherewasalotofdivisionandstrifeamongthem.Allof thiskindofbehaviorisrootedininsecurity.Theydidnotknow whotheywereinChristandwhattheirinheritancewas.They didnotknowthehopeoftheircalling.

Paulsaidthattheywereunabletotalkproperly.Justby listeningtothem,hecoulddiscernwheretheywereinthe processofspiritualgrowth.Ifwewerejudgedbyour conversation,wherewouldwebeonthegrowthchart?The carnalChristianisimmatureinhisthinkingandspeaking.

Brethren,donotbechildren[immature]inyour thinking;continuetobebabesin[mattersof]evil,but inyourmindsbemature[men].1 Corinthians 14:20

Talkingtoomuchandspeakingrashlyarealsosignsof immaturity,andtheycauseagreatdealoftrouble.Many

peoplesaythingswithoutthinking,andtheywoundothers. TheymayevenopenadoorforSatantoworkintheirown lives.Wemustrememberthat,eventhoughwemaybesorry forsomethingwehavesaid,oncethewordsarespoken,they areoutintheatmosphereforever.Thankfully,wecanrepent andaskGodtocleanseourlipsasIsaiahdid,butwordsare powerfulandshouldnotbespokenfrivolously.

God’sgoalforusisthatwematurespirituallyandareno longercontrolledbyourownthoughts,emotions,anddesires. HewantsustolearnHisWordanddirectourlives accordingly,andbereadyatalltimestobeHisrepresentative ontheearth.

MyYearsasanImmatureChristian

IwastedmanyyearsofmylifeasanimmatureChristian.I believedinJesusandfeltassuredofsalvationthroughHim.I attendedchurchandparticipatedinvariouschurchactivities.I wasevenonthechurchevangelismteam,andwentoutinto thesurroundingneighborhoodsweeklywithagroupofpeople, knockingondoorsandtellingpeopleaboutJesus.Icouldtell peopleaboutJesus,butIdidnotactlikeHim.Mybehavior wasoftenvery“ungodly.”

Iwasselfishandself-centered,andmostofwhatIdidin lifewasdonetobenefitme.Italkedaboutmyselfalot,and whenIdidtalkaboutothers,itoftenwasnotkindorloving. Myfaultswerefartoomanytolisthere,butIcertainlywasnot livingforGod.IbelievedinGodandIwantedHimtohelpmein mylife,butIhadnevermadethetransitionfromwantingHim todothingsforme,towantingtodothingsforHim.My

behaviorwasnotguidedbyHisWord.

IregretnowthatIwastedsomanyyearsofmylifeinthis immaturestage.NotonlywasmybehaviornotpleasingtoGod, butIwasalsomiserable.Ihadnopeace,nojoy,andsuffered terriblyfrominsecurity,guilt,andshame.Itriedtofindworth andvalueinwhatIdid,andmylifewasfilledwithstruggleand frustration.

FacingTruth

AsIprayedandsoughtGodforanswerstomyproblem,He helpedmestartfacingtruthaboutmyself.Itwaspainful,butit wasalsolifechanging.Aslongaswearedeceived,nothing changes.Sooneofthemostimportantthingsweallneedtodo iscryouttoGodfortruth.HisWordistruth,andifweguide ourlivesandbehaviorbyGod’sWord,wewillenjoylifeand beargoodfruitforGod.

OneofthetruthsIhadtofacewasthatmymouthcaused alotoftroubleinmylifeandrelationships.Learningthepower ofwordshasliterallybeenlifechangingforme,anditismy prayerthatIwillbeabletoconveytheimportanceofthepower ofwordstoyou.Howdoyoutalk?Itistimetofacethetruth. Immaturebelieversspeakmanynegativethings.Murmuring andcomplainingarenormalforbabyChristians.Theyenjoy gossipingandareveryopinionatedandnosy.Theyeasilyfall preytojudgmentalattitudeseventhoughtheWordofGod givesastrictwarningagainstit

Mostofthecarnalbelievers’problemsarerootedinpride. Theythinkmorehighlyofthemselvesthantheyoughtto,and theydon’tvalueotherpeopleasGodwantsthemto.Carnal

believersareoftenfilledwithcomparison,competition, jealousy,andenvy.Thesethingsleavethemjoyless, frustrated,empty,andmiserable.Jesuscamethatwemight haveandenjoylife,butwecannotdothatunlesswemature spiritually.

Nomatterwhatlevelweareon,weshouldwanttogrow, butifwefindwearestillinthebabystageofChristianity,we shouldcertainlymakeacommitmenttoGodtostartworking withHisHolySpirittowardmaturity.

IfwearemediocreandcommonChristians,itisnot pleasingtoGod.Wearenottobelukewarm,wantingtobea Christian,butalsolovingtheworldandallofitsways.

Theword common means“justplainordinary of commonrankorqualityorability.”GodhasnotgivenusHis amazingHolySpiritforcommonandordinaryliving.Acommon Christianisnotdistinguishedbysuperiorityofanykind.She hasbegunawalkwithGodandshedoesbelieve,shegoesto church,shecarriesaBible,shemayevendoafewgooddeeds, butshedoesnotstandoutforGod.Shewantstobesafeand comfortable.Shewantstobeacceptedandlikedbyeveryone. HerthoughtsandwordsarenotexcellentasGoddesiresthem tobe.

Greatmindstalkaboutcreativeideas,averageminds talkaboutthings,andsmallmindstalkaboutpeople.

Anonymous

Theword mediocre means“halfwaytothepeak,”yet God’sWordsaysthatHedesiresforeachofustogoallthe waythroughinrealizingthefullattainmentofGod’spromises

(seeHebrews6:11).Justimaginehowsaditwouldbeifyou wereaparentwhohadwonderfulthingstogivetoyour childrenandyetyouwereneverabletodososimplybecause theywerenotmatureenoughtohandlethem.Godhasmuchto giveusandtodothroughus,butweneedtogrowupandgo allthewaythroughwithGod.Don’tsettleforaverageor mediocre.WeserveagreatandamazingGod,andHewantsus tobetransformedintoHisimage.

SettlingforTooLittle

TheimmatureChristianoftensettlesforfarlessthanJesushas madeavailableforhim.Hedoesnotwanttosufferorbe uncomfortable,sohedoesnotpressthroughhardthings.Heis likelytojustgiveupandsettlehalfwaybetweenterribleand great.Onewritersaid,“Theyhavenotgainedtheheightstobe warmedbythesun,andyettheyarenotfarenoughdownin thevalleytobefrozen.”

Somepeoplesettlebecausetheyhavenoheroesintheir life.Theyhavenoonetobeanexampletothemofrefusingto settleforlessthanGod’sbest.IbelieveGodislookingfor peoplewhowillbestarsandheroesforHim peoplewhogo allthewaythroughandshowotherstheway.Jesusdiditfor us,andweneedtodoitforothers.

YouCan’tBeaBabyAllYourLife

Thelawofgradualgrowthrulestheuniverse.Everything growssteadilyandlittlebylittle.Ifitdoesn’tgrow,then somethingiswrongwithit.Ababywhodoesn’tgrowhas

whatdoctorscall“failuretothrive.”Ahealthybabygains weight,getstaller,andlearnsthingsallthetime.Heorshe learnstosit,stand,walk,andrun,andthebabyChristian shoulddothesamething.

Aswegothroughdifficultiesinlife,wegrow.Our difficultiesaretests,andsadly,morepeopleflunktheirtests thanpass.A.W.TozersaidinhisbookITalk Back to the Devil,“Itisasolemnandfrighteningthing…torealizethat about80or90%ofthepeopleGodistestingwillflunkthe test.”GoddoesHissortingoutbythesetests.Hediscovers whowillstandfirmandmakeprogressevenwhenthingsare noteasy.Hediscoverswhowillpaythepriceforgreatness.He discoverswhomHecanworkwithanddogreatthings through.

Ifweareaddictedtoeaseandcomfort,wewillremain babiesallofourlives.ManyChristianshearhundredsof sermonsoverthecourseofyearsabouttheimportanceof forgiveness yetmuchofthechurchisstillangry,remaining asbabieswhohearandhear,butneverapplywhattheyhave heard.

Wepayagreatpricetoremainbabies.ElaineandOrrin werethrilledwiththebirthoftheirfirstchild.Ababyboy, Marcuswasanarmfulofpleasure:lively,happy,andhealthy. WhenMarcus’sfirstbirthdayapproached,hisparentshada birthdaypartyforfamilyandfriends.Everyonerejoicedover thisbabywiththehugeblueeyes.Hisadorablegurgles,big smiles,andappreciationofbirthdaycakesealedthedealona greatcelebration.

Sixmonthslater,though,hisparentsbegantosuspect thatMarcuswasn’tdevelopingasheshouldbe.Infact,his

size,movements,andphysicaldevelopmentingeneralwereno differentthantheyhadbeenwhenhewasseveralmonthsold.

ThepediatricianexaminedhimandagreedwithElaineandOrrin Marcuswasn’tmakingnormalprogress.

AftermonthsofmonitoringMarcus,doctorsdiagnosed himwithprogeria,araresyndromewithstrikingfeatures.

Babieswiththisconditiondonotgrowappreciablyinsize,but theirorgansageateighttimesthenormalrate.Thesechildren oftenremainthesizeofaninfantortoddler,despitethefact thattheycanliveintotheirteens.Theirbraincapacityis usuallynotaffected;infact,theyareoftenverybrightand extremelyverbal.Buttheyaretrappedinatinybodythat barrelsthroughtheagingprocess.Anaverageten-year-old childwillhavethegeneralhealthofaneighty-year-old.

Ofcourse,OrrinandElaineweredevastated.Thosetiny handsandfeetthatweresoexquisitebecameadailyreminder thattheirsonwouldneverdevelopnormally.

LittleMarcushaslovingparentswhoaredoing everythingpossibletomakehisliferichandhappy.Hisgreat dispositionhelpsallthreeofthemastheynavigateeachyear thatMarcushasaheadofhim.

Whilemanyparentssaythattheywishtheirchildren couldremainbabiesforever,OrrinandElaineknowwhata nightmarethatwouldbe.Thesameistrueinourspirituallives. Thefactis,remainingababybeyondthenormaltimeforthat createsastuntedlifethatdoesn’tallowthedeepsatisfaction andprogressofnormalgrowth.

Don’tsuccumbtospiritualprogeria!ThankGodthatyou havethefacultiestogrowinChristandbecomeafully functioningmatureChristian.

Christiansgrowtodifferentlevelsofmaturity,whichis whyChristsaidthatsomewouldruleovermanycitiesand othersoverfew;thatsomewouldreceivethirtyfold,somesixty, andsomeahundredfoldontheseedoftheWordofGodthat hadbeensownintheirlife(seeMark4:20).Godwon’tgiveus morethanourmaturitylevelprovesthatwecanhandle properly.

Somearewillingtogofartherthanothers,aremoremature thanothers,andarewillingtosufferifneededinordertowalk inthewillofGod.Theyarenotaddictedtotheircomfortand convenience.Ivividlyrecallayoungmansayingtome,“I believeGodiscallingmetopreachHisWord,butIknowitwill meanalotofsacrificeandIjustdon’tthinkIwanttopaythe price.”

Mark4providesawonderfulexampleofthevarioustypes ofChristians.Pleasetaketimetoreadthatchapter;itis burstingwiththewisdomofChrist.Letmegiveyouabrief summary.ThefirstpersonhearsGod’sWord,butSatancomes andimmediatelytakesawaythemessagethatwassown.Ithink theseChristiansareunabletofocus;theyareeasilydistracted andoftenoffendedbysomething,whichcausesthemto stumbleandfall.AbabyChristianmayhearagoodsermon thathereallyneeds,butowingtoimmaturity,hebecomes offendedbecausethepastordidn’tpayspecialattentiontohim aftertheservice.Hegoesawayandthinksnomoreaboutthe messagebecauseheisonlyconcernedwithhisownwounded pride.

TherearethosewhoheartheWordofGodandreceiveit withjoy,buttheydonothaveroots.Theyarenotdeeply rootedintheWordofGod.Theyhearit,butneveractonit.So

althoughtheyhavelotsofheadknowledge,noneofwhatthey hearhasbecomearevelationintheirlife.Troubleand persecutioncomeandtheyaredispleased,resentful,and indignant,andtheystumbleandfallaway.

ThereareotherswhoheartheWord,butthecaresand anxietiesoftheworld,thedistractionsanddeceitfulnessof richesandglamour,andthecravingforthingsoftheworld temptthem,andchoketheWord.Wemustbesingle-minded andpassionateaboutthethingsofGod.

LastlyweseeinMark4thattheseedsownintowelladaptedsoilistheseedthatbearsfruit.Inotherwords,mature ChristiansaretheoneswhoheartheWordandreceiveand acceptandwelcomeitand…bear fruit!Eachofusmustask ourselvesifwearebearingfruit.Areyou?

Justasaparentmeasurestheheightofhischildand placesmarksonthewalltoseethegrowthovertheyears,we shouldbeabletomeasureourgrowth.Haveyoubeena Christianfortwentyyearsandyetyouarenotallerinthespirit thanwhenyouwereatwo-year-oldChristian?

Istillmakeplentyofmistakeswithmymouth,butthank GodIdon’tmakeasmanyasIoncedid.Ihaverecentlyspent abouttwoyearsstudyingwhattheBiblesaysaboutthepower ofwords,thetongue,themouth,andourconfession.Ididthat partlyinpreparationtowritethisbook,buthonestly,mostofit wasjustbecauseIneededtocomeuphigherinthisarea myself.Godhaschallengedmetogoonafast.Notafastof food,butofwords.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatIdon’ttalk,butI amseriouslytryingtolistentoandobeytheHolySpirit concerningthewordsthatIspeak andtospeaknothingthat Hewouldnotapproveof.

TheSpiritualMindandtheSpiritualMouth

OneofthethingsIsayfrequentlyis,“Wherethemindgoes, themanfollows.”Wecanalsosay,“Wherethemindgoes,the mouthfollows.”Itisimpossibletospeakmaturelyifwedon’t thinkmaturely.LongagowhenIheardmyfirstsermononthe powerofwordsandImadethedecisionthatIwasgoingto keepquietandfollowedthroughandbarelysaidanything,by theendofthedayIfeltdepressed.IaskedGodwhyIwas feelingdepressedsinceIhadjustspentthedaytryingtodo whatIthoughtHewantedmetodo.IwillneverforgetwhatHe placedinmyheart:“Youarekeepingyourmouthshut,but nothinghaschangedinsideyou.Yourthoughtsarestillbad andthatiswhyyoufeeldepressed.”Actually,whenIwas givingventtosomeofmyungodlythoughts,Iguessit relievedsomeoftheoppressiontheycaused,butIwas keepingthemallin,andIfeltterrible!

Ourthoughtsandourwordsarepowerful!Youmaythink asIoncedidthatyousimplycannotcontrolwhatyouthink, butthatisnottrue.Yourmindisyourown,andyoucankeep thoughtsthatyoulikeandcastoutonesthatyoudon’tlike. Godwantstothinkthroughus,butsodoesSatan.Keepthe godlythoughtsandcastouttheevilones.Whenyouhavean evilthought,replaceitimmediatelywithagodlythought.The Biblesaysthatwehaveamindofthefleshandamindofthe spirit,sowecaneitherthinkspiritualthoughtsorfleshlyones.

Ourmindaffectsourmouth,andourmouthaffectsour mind.Ifwethinksomethinglongenough,wewillsayit,andif wesaysomethinglongenough,wewillthinkit.ThisiswhyI teachpeopletothinkandsaythingsonpurpose.Have“think

sessions”

timeswhenyouthinkthingsonpurposethatagree withGod’sWord.Have“confessionsessions” timeswhen youconfesstheWordofGodoutloud.Evenifyouare confessingapromiseofGodthatsoundstoowonderfultoever bearealityforyou,keepconfessingit!Themoreyoudo,the easieritwillbecometobelieveit.

CHAPTER 5

What Do YouWant inthe Future?

IbelievethatGodhasthingssetasideforeachoneofus,gifts thatwemayneveropenhereonearth.Godwantsustoreceive them,useandenjoythem,butsometimeswefailtounderstand howtocooperatewithGodtogetthingsfromHisrealm(the spiritual)intoours(thenatural).

God…Whogiveslifetothedeadandspeaksofthe nonexistentthingsthat[Hehasforetoldandpromised] asifthey[already]existed.Romans 4:17

Oneofthegreatprivilegeswehavebutfrequentlyfailto makeuseofisspeakingofthingsthatarenotmanifestedyetas iftheyalreadyexisted.

Wecanreachwithourfaithintothespiritualrealmwhere Godisandtalkofthethingsthatexistthereasiftheywere alreadyarealityinourlife.Forexample,God’sWord encouragesustosaywearestrongevenifweareweak(see Joel3:10).WebelievethatGodhasstrengthavailableforus,so whykeepsayingweareweak?Let’sbegintospeakinfaithas Goddoes.

WeneedtosaywhatGodsaysanddowhatHedoesifwe wanttobewhatHewantsustobeandhavewhatHewantsus tohave.WeshouldbeconfessingGod’spromisesasifthey alreadyexistedinourlives.Wearecalledtowalkbyfaithand notbysight.Inotherwords,webelievewhatGodsaysinHis Word,evenmorethanwebelievewhatwesee.Whatwesee

arefacts,butGod’sWordistruth,andtruthisgreaterand morepowerfulthanthefactsthatwesee.

Nowfaithistheassurance(theconfirmation,thetitle deed)ofthethings[we]hopefor,beingtheproofof things[we]donotseeandtheconvictionoftheir reality[faithperceivingasrealfactwhatisnot revealedtothesenses].Hebrews 11:1

IfIshowedyouthetitletomycar,youwouldtotally believethatIownedit,eventhoughyoucouldnotseethecar. God’s Word is the title deed to all the things we need in life! Justbecausewedon’tseethemyet,thatdoesn’tmeantheyare notpreparedforusinthespiritualrealmandwaitingtobe deliveredtous.

Doyoulookatthingsthatareandthinkthattheyare alwaysgoingtostaythatway?Doyouthinktoyourselfand say,“Iwill never have any money. ” “Iwill never get that promotion at work.” “Iamafraid Iwill always be lonely.” “I amafraid Iwill always feel tired and weak.” Ordoyoucallfor whatyouwantinyourfuture?

Whatdoyouwantinthefuture?Areyoucooperating withwhatyousayyouwantbyspeakingasifitisalready yours?Iknowthismayseemabitunusual,butifGodcandoit, thenwecandoit,too.WeareHischildren,andHewantsusto followHisexample.

Weshouldbesaying,“Iwillalwayshaveenoughmoney tomeetallmyneedsandplentytoblessotherswith.”“Iamthe headandnotthetail;Iwillbepromotedinlife.Godgivesme favor.”“Ihaveanabundanceofgood,godlyrelationships.”“I

amstrongintheLord,Heismystrength.”Ourconfessioncan workforusoragainstusdependingonwhatwechoosetosay. Ourconfessionissomethingthatcanbedoneinprivateduring ourtimeinprayer,oreventimeswhenwearealonedrivingin thecarordoingothersimpleprojectsthatdon’trequireourfull attention.SayingwhatGodsaysaboutyourfutureissmart, butverbalizingallofourcircumstancesandfeelingsisunwise.

Itseemstomesometimesthatmymouthhasamindofits own.Itwantstospurtoutallofmyfeelingsandeverynegative thoughtthatrunsthroughmymind.AstheBiblesays,ittruly islikeawildbeastthatisdifficulttotame.Understandingthe powerofwordswillhelpusbemorecarefulaboutwhatwesay. Ifyouwanttokeepaproblemyouhave,thenjustkeeptalking aboutit.Butifyouwanttogetridofit,thentalkaboutthe answerasifyouexpectittomanifestatanymoment.

MyFirstLessonAboutthePowerofWords

Igrewupinaverynegativeatmosphere,andasachild,I developedanegativemind,attitude,andmouth.WhenIbegan toseriouslystudyGod’sWord,Heconvictedmeofmy negativityandtaughtmethatitwasevilinHisears.Imadea diligenteffortnottosaynegativethings,butafterseveral monthshadpassedby,Istilldidn’tfeelthatanyofmy circumstanceshadchanged.IwenttoGodcomplaining!“God, Ihavestoppedbeingnegativeandnothinghaschanged.”

VeryclearlyIheardinmyspirit,“Youhavestoppedsaying negativethings,butyouhavenotstartedsayinganything positive!”

AtthattimeIknewnothingabouttheprinciplesIam

sharinginthisbook,soIcantrulysaythattheHolySpiritgave merevelationconcerningthepowerofwords.IfeltthatIwas supposedtomakeaconfessionlistofthingsthatwerein God’sWordthatIwouldliketoseehappeninmylifeand begintoconfessthatoutloudtwotimesaday.Ididthat diligently,andastimewentby,thechangesIsawwere dramatic.

AtthetimeImadethelist,Icansafelysaythatnoneof thethingsIconfessedwasafactinmylife,buttheywere truthsinGod’sWord.TheywerethingsIwantedtosee happen,andtheywerethingsthatexistedinthespiritualrealm whereGodabides.

HereistheoriginallistImadein1976:

IamanewcreatureinChrist:oldthingshavepassed away;behold,allthingsarebecomenew.(2Cor.5:17 KJV)

IhavediedandbeenraisedwithChristandamnow seatedinheavenlyplaces.(Eph.2:5–6KJV)

Iamdeadtosinandaliveuntorighteousness.(Rom. 6:11KJV)

Ihavebeensetfree.Iamfreetolove,toworship,to trustwithnofearofrejectionorofbeinghurt.(John 8:36;Rom.8:1)

Iamabeliever notadoubter!(Mark5:36KJV)

IknowGod’svoice,andIalwaysobeywhatHetells me.(John10:3–5,14–16,27;14:15)

Ilovetopray,IlovetopraiseandworshipGod.(1

Thess.5:17;Ps.34:1)

TheloveofGodhasbeenshedabroadinmyheartby

theHolyGhost.(Rom.5:5KJV)

Ihumblemyself;andGodexaltsme.(1Pet.5:6KJV)

IamcreativebecausetheHolySpiritlivesinme.(John 14:26;1Cor.6:19)

Iloveallpeople,andIamlovedbyallpeople.(1John 3:14)

IoperateinallthegiftsoftheHolySpirit,whichare tonguesandinterpretationoftongues,theworkingof miracles,discerningofspirits,thewordoffaith,the wordofknowledge,thewordofwisdom,healings,and prophecy.(1Cor.12:8–10)

Ihaveateachablespirit.(2Tim.2:24KJV)

IwillstudytheWordofGod;Iwillpray.(2Tim.2:15; Luke18:1)

InevergettiredorgrowwearywhenIstudytheWord, pray,minister,orpursueGod;butIamalertandfullof energy.AndasIstudy,Ibecomemorealertandmore energized.(2Thess.3:13;Isa.40:31)

IamadoeroftheWord.ImeditateontheWordallthe daylong.(James1:22;Ps.1:2)

IamanointedofGodforministry.Hallelujah!(Luke 4:18)

Workisgood,Ienjoywork.(Eccl.5:19)

Idoallmyworkexcellentlyandwithgreatprudence, makingthemostofallmytime.(Eccl.9:10;Prov.22:29; Eph.5:15–16)

IamateacheroftheWord.(Matt.28:19;Rom.12:7)

IlovetoblesspeopleandtospreadtheGospel.(Matt. 28:19–20)

Ihavecompassionandunderstandingforallpeople.

(Eph.4:32)

Ilayhandsonthesick,andtheyrecover.(Mark16:18)

Iamaresponsibleperson.Ienjoyresponsibility,andI risetoeveryresponsibilityinChristJesus.(2Cor.11:28

KJV;Phil.4:13)

IdonotjudgemybrothersandsistersinChristJesus aftertheflesh.Iamaspiritualwomanandamjudgedby noone.(John8:15KJV;Rom.14:10KJV;1Cor.2:15)

Idonothateorwalkinunforgiveness.(1John2:11; Eph.4:32)

IcastallmycareontheLord,forHecaresforme.(1 Pet.5:7KJV)

Idonothaveaspiritoffear;butofpower,loveandofa soundmind.(2Tim.1:7KJV)

Iamnotafraidofthefacesofman.Iamnotafraidofthe angerofman.(Jer.1:8KJV)

Idonotfear.Idonotfeelguiltyorcondemned.(1John 4:18;Rom.8:1)

Iamnotpassiveaboutanything,butIdealwithall thingsinmylifeimmediately.(Prov.27:23;Eph.5:15,16)

Itakeeverythoughtcaptiveuntotheobedienceof JesusChrist,castingdowneveryimagination,and everyhighandloftythingthatexaltsitselfagainstthe knowledgeofGod.(2Cor.10:5)

IwalkintheSpiritallofthetime.(Gal.5:16)

Idon’tgivethedevilafootholdinmylife.Iresistthe devil,andhehastofleefromme.(Eph.4:27;James4:7) Icatchthedevilinallofhisdeceitfullies.Icastthem downandchooserathertobelievetheWordofGod. (John8:44,2Cor.2:11,10:5KJV)

Noweaponthatisformedagainstmeshallprosper,but everytonguethatrisesagainstmeinjudgment,Ishall showtobeinthewrong.(Isa.54:17)

Asamanthinkethinhisheart;soishe.Therefore,allof mythoughtsarepositive.Idonotallowthedeviltouse myspiritasagarbagedumpbymeditatingonnegative thingsthatheoffersme.(Prov.23:7KJV)

IdonotthinkmorehighlyofmyselfthanIoughttoin theflesh.(Rom.12:3)

Iamslowtospeak,quicktohear,andslowtoanger. (James1:19)

Godopensmymouth,andnomancanshutit.God

shutsmymouth,andnomancanopenit.(Rev.3:7)

Idonotspeaknegativethings.(Eph.4:29)

Iampurposedthatmymouthshallnottransgress.Iwill speakforththerighteousnessandpraiseofGodallthe daylong.(Pss.17:3;35:28)

Iamanintercessor.(1Tim.2:1)

Thelawofkindnessisinmytongue.Gentlenessisin mytouch.Mercyandcompassionareinmybearing. (Prov.31:26)

IwilldowhatIsayIwilldo,andIgetwhereIamgoing ontime.(Luke16:10;2Peter3:14KJV)

Ineverharmasisterorbrotherwiththewordsofmy mouth.(Eph.4:29)

Iamalwaysapositiveencourager.Iedifyandbuildup; Ineverteardownordestroy.(Rom.15:2)

IcrytoGodMostHighWhoperformsonmybehalf andrewardsme.(2Chron.16:9a)

Itakegoodcareofmybody.Ieatright,Ilookgood,I

feelgood,andIweighwhatGodwantsmetoweigh.(1 Cor.9:27;1Tim.4:8TLB)

Icastoutdevilsanddemons;nothingdeadlycanhurt me.(Mark16:17–18KJV)

Paincannotsuccessfullycomeagainstmybody becauseJesusboreallmypain.(Isa.53:4–5)

Idon’thurryandrush.Idoonethingatatime.(Prov. 19:2;21:5)

Iusemytimewisely.Allofmyprayerandstudytimeis wiselyspent.(Eph.5:15–16)

Iamanobedientwifeandnorebellionoperatesinme. (Eph.5:22,24TLB;ISam.15:23KJV)

Myhusbandiswise.Heisthekingandpriestofour home.Hemakesgodlydecisions.(Prov.31:10–12;Rev. 1:6KJV;Prov.21:1)

Allmyhouseholdmembersareblessedintheirdeeds. Weareblessedwhenwecomeinandwhenwegoout. (Deut.28:6KJV)

MychildrenlovetoprayandstudytheWord.They openlyandboldlypraiseGod.(2Tim.2:15)

MychildrenmakerightchoicesaccordingtotheWord ofGod.(Ps.119:130;Isa.54:13)

AllmychildrenhavelotsofChristianfriends,andGod hassetasideaChristianwifeorhusbandforeachof them.(1Cor.15:33)

Iamagiver.Itismoreblessedtogivethantoreceive.I lovetogive!Ihaveplentyofmoneytogiveawayall thetime.(Acts20:35;2Cor.9:7–8)

Ireceivespeakingengagementsinperson,byphone, and/orbymaileveryday.(Rev.3:7–8)

Iamveryprosperous;IprosperineverythingIputmy handto.Ihaveprosperityinallareasofmylife spiritual,financial,mental,andsocial.(Gen.39:3;Josh. 1:8;3John2)

AllthatIhaveispaidfor.Iowenomananythingexcept tolovehiminChrist.

IwasnottalkingtoahumanpersonwhenImadethese confessions.Iwasusuallyhomealoneandmerelyspokethem outintotheatmosphereasanactoffaith.Theywereall promisesinGod’sWord,soIwassimplyagreeingwithHim.

WhenIbeganconfessingthatallmychildrenwouldbe marriedtoChristianhusbandsandwives,theoldestthreewere agesfourteen,twelve,andten.Myyoungestwasnoteven bornyet,buttodaytheconfessionthatImadethirty-fiveyears agoisareality.Ihadneverbeenaskedtospeakanywhere,but IstartedconfessingthatIreceivedopportunitieseveryday. NowIspeakaroundtheworlddailybytelevisionandradio,in additiontotravelingfrequentlytospeakatevents.Theseare justacoupleofexamples,butIamstillamazedatthecondition ofmylifepriortomakingtheseconfessions,comparedtothe wayitisnow.

WearetoldrepeatedlyinGod’sWordtomeditateonthe preceptsofGod,ortomeditateonHisWord.To meditate means“torolloverandoverinyourmind,”butitalsomeans “tomutter,conversealoudwithoneself,ordeclaresomething.”

Youmaytakemylistandtailorittoyourlifeand circumstances.Thenmeditateonit,confessit,andseehow Godmoves!

DeclaretheDecree

God’swrittenwordisHisdecree,andwecanandshould declareit.Centuriesago,akingwouldwritedownhiswillfor hiskingdom,orwhathewantedtoseehappen,andmenwould ridethroughoutthekingdomdeclaringthedecree.Godisour King,andHehasdecreedcertainthingsthatHewantsforus. Weshouldgetbusydeclaringthedecree!

ThepsalmistDavidsaid,“Ibelieved(trustedin,reliedon, andclungtomyGod)andthereforehaveIspoken”(Psalm 116:10).

TheprophetIsaiah,speakingforGod,said,“Behold,the formerthingshavecometopass,andnewthingsInow declare;beforetheyspringforthItellyouofthem”(Isaiah 42:9).

Thisscripturealoneshouldbeenoughtoprovokeusto startimmediatelydeclaringthedecree(speakingGod’sWord).

Isuggestthat,evenasyoureadGod’sWord,youforma habitofconfessingportionsofitoutloud.Idon’tparticularly liketoreadoutloudbecauseithasatendencytomakeme tired.ButquiteoftenasIread,IwillspeakportionsofwhatI readoutloud.Imightsay,“Godismerciful,andslowtoanger.”

“MysinsareforgivenandGodremembersthemnomore.”

“GodismyVindicator,andHewilldealwithmyenemies.”

WhenIspeakthesewordsoutloud,theymakeanevenbigger impactonme.

Whatwasthefirstthingyousaidaftergettingupthis morning?Youmayhavesetthetoneforyourentireday.Ihave noticedthatitisreallyimportantformetokeepmythinking andspeakingrightfromthetimeIgetup.Iamathinker,andI

mustbecarefulthatIdon’tdriftoffintothingslikeworry,or recallingsomethingsomeonesaidthatreallyhurtme.Ibelieve wecanprophesy(speakforth)thefutureofourdaybywhat wesayatthebeginningofit.

Ifthedirectionofahorsecanbechangedbyabitinhis mouth,andthedirectionofashipcanbechangedbyitssmall rudder,thenIbelievethedirectionofourlivescanbechanged bythewordsweletrolloverourtongue.

Mostofusdon’tuseourmouthatallforwhatGodgaveitto usfor.Thereisgreatpowerandauthorityinwords.Thekindof powerwehavedependsofthekindofwordswespeak.We cancurseourfuturebyspeakingevilofit,orwecanblessitby speakingwellofit.

Doyouhavesomekindofdreamorvisionforyour future?Aretherethingsthatyouwouldlovetoseehappenin thedays,months,andyearsaheadofyou?Isincerelyhopeso, becausewithoutgoals,wearedirectionlessandvery unmotivated.Youmightsay,“Yes,Idohaveabigdream.”My questionis,Haveyourwordsbeeninlinewithwhatyousay youwant?Whenmyhusbandquithisjobattheengineering firmheworkedattocomeintofull-timeministrywithme,a coworkersaid,“Dave,doyourealizethatyoustartedsaying thatsomedayyouwouldleavehereandgointofull-time ministryaboutsevenyearsago?”Davehadsaidsomethingfor sevenyearsthathebelievedGodwantedtohappen.Doyou havethatmuchpatience?Areyouwillingtospeakoutyour dreamorvisioneventhoughitmightseemimpossibleright

YouCanBlessorCurseYourFuture

now?

TheprophetHabakkuksaidthatGodtoldhimtowritehis visionplainlysothateveryonewhopassedbymightbeableto readiteasilyandquickly(seeHabakkuk2:2).Hewentonto saythatGodtoldhimthetimewasnotyet,butonits appointedday,thevisionwouldcometopass.GodwantedHis peopletokeepthevisioninfrontofthemsotheydidnot becomepassiveintheirfaith.Perhapsyouhaveavisionfor yourlifeorlovedonesthatyouneedtowritedownandread aloudoften.

Areyouaggressivelyexcitedaboutyourfuture?Ordo youhaveapassiveattitudeofwe’ll see?Don’tjustmerelywait toseewhathappensinyourlife,butgetsomewordsworking onyourbehalf.Usefaith-filledwordstoreachintothespirit realmandgetintoagreementwithGod.TellGodeverydaythat youareexpectingsomethingamazinglygoodtohappento you.Whenyougooutinthemorning,say,“TodayGodgives mefavoreverywhereIgo.”

Itiseasytotalkabouthowyoufeelorwhattheworldis like,butitwon’thelpyou.Iamaskingyouforyourownsake andforGod’ssaketochooseamoreexcellentway.Speakon purposeandmakeyourwordscount.Itiseasytosay,“Ifeel likenobodycaresaboutme,”“Iamafraidthisisgoingtobea lousyday,”“I’mtiredandIdreadgoingtowork.”Thosekinds ofwordswillcomenaturally,butyoucanlivesupernaturally. YoucantalklikeGodandsaywhatHewouldsay.Canyou honestlyimagineGodsaying,“I’mafraidthisisgoingtobea lousyday”?Ofcoursenot!Hewouldsaysomethingawesome andpositive,andwecandothesamething.

Notonlyisyourdayatstake,butyourentirelifeis.What

kindoffuturedoyouwantforyourselfandyourlovedones? WhatIsaytodayisbuildingafutureformychildrenand grandchildren.Thisdoesnotmeanthatwewon’thaveany problemsordisappointmentsinlife,buteveninthemidstof them,weshouldkeepagoodconfessionifwewanttohavea goodoutcome.Wehavetospeaksomethingslongerthan others,andwehavetospeakpositivethingsoversomepeople longerthanoverothers.Onethingisforsure:Wearebetteroff sayingsomethingthatwillallowGodtoworkgoodthingson ourbehalfthansomethingthatcooperateswiththedevil’splan fordestructionandevil.

GivingNewLifetoDeadThings

Sometimeswelookatthingsinourlivesandfeelthatthereis nohopeatallforchange.WhenLazarushadalreadybeen deadfourdays,hissisterMarthadidnotbelievethatJesus wasabletodoanything.Thesituationwasbeyondhopeasfar asshewasconcerned.ButJesusraisedLazarusfromthedead (seeJohn11:39–44),anditprovedthatnothingisimpossible withGod.

IntheBiblicalaccount,Jesusaskedthepeoplestanding aroundLazarus’gravetotakeastepoffaithandrollawaythe stonethatwasinfrontofit.Ifindthatveryinteresting, becauseifHecouldraiseLazarusfromthedead,whydidHe needsomeoneelsetorollawaythestone?Becausetheirstep offaithreleasedtherestofthemiraclethatwasneeded.God asksustodowhatwecandoandthenHedoeswhatwe cannotdo.

Whenwearehopeless,weoftenfailtotakeanyactionat

all.Wethinkthatnothingwedowillmakeanydifference.We maynotbothertopray,orwemaythinkthatourconfessionno longermatterssowegiveup.Aretherethingsinyourlifethat youthinkarehopeless,orthatyouhavegivenupon?Ifso,I amaskingyoutostiryourselfupinfaithonceagainandbegin tospeaklifetothedeadareasthatneedaresurrection.

InEzekiel,wefindaperfectexampleofhowspeaking God’sWordoverseeminglyimpossiblesituationsworks miracles: ThehandoftheLordwasuponme,andHebrought meoutintheSpiritoftheLordandsetmedowninthe midstofthevalley;anditwasfullofbones.

AndHecausedmetopassroundaboutamong them,andbehold,therewereverymany[human bones]intheopenvalleyorplain,andbehold,they wereverydry.

AndHesaidtome,Sonofman,canthesebones live?AndIanswered,OLordGod,Youknow!(37:1–3)

Let’stakeamomentbeforewegoanyfurtherandreally thinkaboutwhatEzekielwaslookingatandwhathemusthave thought.Everywherehelooked,hesawdeath,andeverything wasdriedup,showingnosignsoflifeatall.Ashewalked amongthebones,surelyhefeltitwasahopelesssituation.

WhenGodaskedifthedriedbonescouldliveagain,at leastEzekieldidn’tsay,“Noway!”Hedidleavethedooropen forGodtoworkbysayingthatonlyGodknewtheanswer,and GoddidtellEzekieltheanswer.Hetoldhimtoprophesythe wordoftheLordtothebones.

AgainHesaidtome,Prophesytothesebonesandsay tothem,Oyoudrybones,hearthewordoftheLord.

ThussaystheLordGodtothesebones:Behold,I willcausebreathandspirittoenteryou,andyoushall live;

AndIwilllaysinewsuponyouandbringupflesh uponyouandcoveryouwithskin,andIwillput breathandspiritinyou,andyou[drybones]shall live;andyoushallknow,understand,andrealizethatI amtheLord[theSovereignRuler,Whocallsforth loyaltyandobedientservice].

SoIprophesiedasIwascommanded;andasI prophesied,therewasa[thundering]noiseand behold,ashakingandtremblingandarattling,andthe bonescametogether,bonetoitsbone.

AndIlookedandbehold,thereweresinewsupon [thebones]andfleshcameuponthemandskin coveredthemover,buttherewasnobreathorspiritin them.(37:4–8)

Ezekielhadseenmarvelousthingshappenasaresultof obeyingGod.Iimaginehefeltratherfoolishtalkingtobones.I knowIwouldhave.Ievenfeltfoolishstandinginmyhomeand speakingtheWordofGodoutloudwhenIinitiallystarted doingit.ItrequiredfaithforEzekieltoobeyGod.Ashespoke theWordofGodtothedeadbones,theybegantocome together,butalthoughsomeamazingthingshadhappened,the bonesstillhadnolifeorspiritinthem!

WhatwouldEzekieldonow?Wouldhegiveuporpress on?HewaitedforGodtospeakandwastoldtokeep

prophesying,andheobeyed.

Prophesytothebreathandspirit,sonofman,andsay tothebreathandspirit,ThussaystheLordGod:Come fromthefourwinds,Obreathandspirit,andbreathe upontheseslainthattheymaylive.

SoIprophesiedasHecommandedme,andthe breathandspiritcameinto[thebones],andtheylived andstoodupupontheirfeet,anexceedinglygreat host.(37:9–10)

IamsurethatEzekielwasthrilledthathedidnotgiveup whenhefinallysawthebonescomealiveandstandupontheir feet.Justimaginethatsceneifyoucan.

Canadeadmarriageberevived?Cananythinggoodcome fromapastthatwasfilledwithfailureandmisery?Can someonewhohasbeensickmostofherlifehaveandenjoy energyandgoodhealth?Cansomeonedeepindebtseethe daywhenhecanhaveallhisneedsmetandowenoman anything?Theanswertoallthesequestionsisyes,yes,yes, andyes.Iwon’tsaythatmerelyprophesyingtheWordover deadcircumstancesisallthatwillberequired.Obediencetoall thatGodinstructsyoutodoisvitallynecessary,butkeeping yourmouthfilledwithwhatyouwantinsteadofwhatyouhave alwayshadisanimportantcomponentofyourultimatevictory.

AreYouWillingtoFight?

Areyouwillingtofightfortheseeminglydeadareasinyour lifeorwillyoujustgiveup?PaultoldTimothythathewould

havetofightthegoodfightoffaith.Yourhealingand restorationmaytakelongerthanyouwouldlike.Itmaybemore difficultthanyoucanimagineandcostmorethanyouever thoughtyoucouldendure.Butitwilldefinitelybeworthitin theend.ImaginehowthefamilyandfriendsofLazarusfelt whenhewalkedoutofthatgrave,orhowEzekielfeltwhenhe sawtheresultsofhisfaith.Imaginethethrillandfeelingof satisfactionyouwillhaveifyoufinishyourrace.

Staying Strong Throughthe Storms ofLife

Unknown

Itisquiteeasytobestronginfaithandkeepagood confessionwheneverythingiscalminlifeandwehaveno troublesorchallenges.Itisquiteadifferentstorywhentrials andtribulationscome.Thesearethetestsoflife,andtheseare thetimeswhenitisextremelyimportantforustostandfirmand beverycarefulaboutwhatwesay.

Troubletemptsustosayanddoallkindsofthingsthat wewouldnotdoingoodtimes.Jesuswastemptedinall respectsjustasweareandyetHeneversinned.Hiswords werefilledwithfaithevenasHefaceddeathbycrucifixion.

Hechoseduringthesetimesnottotalkmuch,andI supposeHedidthatsoHewouldn’tsayanythingthatwould giveSatananopportunity.

Iwillnottalkwithyoumuchmore,fortheprince(evil genius,ruler)oftheworldiscoming.Andhehasno claimonMe.[HehasnothingincommonwithMe; thereisnothinginMethatbelongstohim,andhehas nopoweroverMe.]John 14:30

When the world says,“Give up, ” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”

Thisverseisthrillingtomebecauseitteachesmethe absoluteimportanceofnotspeakingrashlyoutofour emotionsduringtimesofstressandpressure.Jesushadbeen tellingHisdisciplesthatHewouldbeleavingtheworldvery soon,andthatthetimehadcomethatHehadbeentellingthem about.ItwastimeforHimtodowhatHisFatherhadsentHim todo.ItwastimetotakethesinsoftheworlduponHimself anddieinourplace.ThesufferingHewasabouttoendurewas unimaginable.Iwonderwhatanyoneofuswouldhavesaidin thatsituation.Whatwouldhavecomeoutofourmouth fear, worry,panic,complaining,doubt,andunbelief?

JesuswasdeterminednottogiveplacetoSatanby speakingwordsthatwouldgivehimopportunitytohinderthe planofGod.Howdoyoutalkwhentroublecomes?Ibelieve welosealotofbattlesstrictlybecauseweusewrongwords. Wewon’tdefeatSatanwithcomplaining,self-pity,fear,and worry.Wemustliftuptheshieldoffaith,wearthehelmetof salvation,andwieldtheswordoftheSpirit,whichistheWord ofGod(seeEphesians6:16–18).

BeforeIunderstoodthepowerofwords,Iwonderedwhat theBiblemeantwhenIreadthat,“Hewasoppressed,[yet when]Hewasafflicted,HewassubmissiveandopenednotHis mouth;likealambthatisledtotheslaughter,andasasheep beforehershearersisdumb,soHeopenednotHismouth” (Isaiah53:7).ButnowIdounderstand,andIamfully convincedthatweneedtofollowthesameexample.

Thereisnothingthattakesanymoreself-controlthannot speakingnegativelyinwhatwewouldconsidertobea negativesituation.Themouthwantstogiveexpressiontothe soulandspurtouteverythingitthinksandfeels.Butintimes

likethis,weneedtogodeeperthanwhatwethinkandfeel,and thinkandspeakoutofourrenewedspirit.Theseareimportant timestoagreewithGodandsaywhatHesaysinHisWord.

FoolishTalk

Lettherebenofilthiness(obscenity,indecency),nor foolishandsinful(sillyandcorrupt)talk,norcoarse jesting,whicharenotfittingorbecoming,butinstead voiceyourthankfulness[toGod].Ephesians 5:4

Whenweareupset,wecansaysomereallyfoolishthings. Ihadahabitofsaying,“Iamsickandtiredoftrouble,”or, “Goodthingsneverlastlonginmylife.”What“petphrases” doyouusewhenyouarefrustrated?Iknowonepersonwho usestheword death alot.She loves people to death,things tickle her to death,andshesays,My troubles are going to be the death ofme.IfIamwithherallday,Imightheartheword death comeoutofhermouthtentimes.Sheisawonderful ChristianwomanwholovesGod,butshehasabadhabitof usinglanguagethatisunwiseandcouldevendoherharm. Quiteoftenpeopleusethephrase Ihate.Theyhatethe drivetowork,hatetocleantheirhouse,gotothegrocery story,cutthegrass,paytheirbills,andonandon.Itisjusta phrase,butonethatcarriespower.Eachtimewesaythatwe hatesomething,itmakesitharderforustodoitwithjoythe nexttime.Startsayingthatyouenjoythosethingsthatare moredifficultforyou.StartsayingitinobediencetoGod,and soonyouwillfindthemtobemoreenjoyable.Wecantalk ourselvesintothingsandoutofthings.Icantalkmyselfinto

despisingsomethingIneedtodo,orIcanhaveagoodattitude andspeakgoodwordsaboutit,andmakeitalotmorepleasant.

Startpayingattentiontofoolishwordsandphrasesthat comeoutofyourownmouthandaskGodtohelpyouform newhabits.Youmayhavethoughtpreviouslythatitwasjust somethingtosay,butnowthatyouknowthatwordshave power,youwillwanttomakeallofyourscountforgood.

LearningHowtoBehaveintheStorm

AsIsaid,oneofthemostdifficulttimestocontrolour thoughts,emotions,attitudes,andwordsisduringthestorms oflife,butitisalsooneofthemostimportanttimestodoit. Jesusmetwiththedisciplesontheshoreofthelake,gotinto theirboat,andsaid,“Let’scrossovertotheotherside.”Keep inmindthatwhenJesussayssomething,wecanbeassured thatitwillhappen.Hedidn’ttellthemhowlongitwouldtaketo gettotheothersideofthelake,orhowdifficultthejourney mightbe,andHeexpectedthemtotrustHimwiththosedetails.

WhenGodputitinmyheartthatIwasgoingtoteachHis Wordaroundtheworld,IhadnoideahowmanystormsI wouldencounterbeforeIarrivedatmydestination.Godknew, andHealreadyhadaplanformydeliverancefromeachone. ButHeneededtoteachmehowtotrustHim.Eventhestorms inourlifehaveapurpose.Godusesthemtostretchourfaith andtohelpusgrowingodlycharacter.

Forexample,patienceisafruitoftheSpiritthatwe desperatelyneedinourlives.WeinheritthepromisesofGod throughfaithandpatience,butthedefinitionofpatiencetells usthatitonlygrowsundertrial.Wemayprayforpatience,but

wegetastorm.Wedon’tlikeit,butGodhassomethinggood inmind.Heisactuallyansweringourprayerandwejustdon’t realizeit.Thestormsoflifewillbemucheasieronusifwewill learntosayimmediately,“Somethinggoodisgoingtocome outofthis.”Recentlywearrivedattheairporttoleaveonatrip anddiscoveredthatsomethingwasmechanicallywrongwith theplaneandwemightnotbeabletoleave.Itwasatripwe werereallylookingforwardtoandhadplannedonforalong time,sonaturallythefirstthingwefeltwasfrustrationand disappointment.Butthankfullywehavelearnedtotakeadeep breathandthinkbeforewespeak.Severalofussaid,“All thingsworkoutforgood,soifwedon’tgettogo,thenmaybe wearenotsupposedtogo.”Inoticedthatmysoulimmediately startedtocalmdown.Wehadtowaitabouttwohours,and duringthattimeweworkedatmaintainingagoodattitudeand agoodconfession.Theairplanedidgetfixed,andwedidgoon ourtrip,butwemightnothaveifwe’dallspokennegativelyfor thetwohoursthatwewaited.

Iwonderhowmanytimeswegetalittlestorminlifeand turnitintoatornadothroughspeakingnegatively.IknowIam alwaystemptedtocomplainwhenthingsdon’tgomyway,but Ihavelearnedthatitisactuallyadangerousthingtodoand canopenthedoortoallkindsofevil.Godwantsustobless Himatalltimes,notjustwhenthingsaregoingourway.

Asthedisciplesbegantheirjourney,astormofhurricane proportionsarose.Jesuswasasleepinthebottomoftheboat andthediscipleswereterriblyfrightened.TheywokeJesusup, askingifHedidn’tcarethattheywereperishing.Jesusgotup andrebukedthestormandithushed,thenHerebukedthe disciplesfortheirfearandunbelief(seeMark4:35–41).The

verynextversesays,“Theycametotheothersideofthesea.” Thethingthathasalwaysstoodouttomeisthattheydid arriveontheothersidejustasJesushadsaidtheywould. Theycouldhavebeenpeacefulandenjoyedthejourney,but insteadtheyletthestormcontroltheiremotions,attitudes, thoughts,andwords.

Jesussaidthatintheworldwewillhavetribulation. Stormsareapromise!Weallgetthem,andtheyareoneofthe mostimportanttimesinlifetokeepagoodconfession.

Whenstormsarriveinyourlife,rememberthatJesusisin yourboat.Heiswithyouateverymoment,andHewillbring youtotheotherside.

FaithfortheMiddle

Startingathingisusuallyeasybecausewehavelotsof emotionstohelpus.Newthingsareexcitingandeveryone cheersuson.Whenwearriveatourdestination,wearealso excited,butwhataboutthemiddle?Itwasinthemiddleofthe disciples’journeythattheyexperiencedthestorm.They startedfineandendedfine,buttheyneededmorefaithinthe middle.Iliketosaythatfaithisforthemiddleofourjourneys inlife.

Weneverknowhowlongourjourneysinlifewilltake,but experiencehastaughtmethatmostofthemtakelongerthanwe thoughttheywould.Friendsofminehaverecentlystartedto buildanewhome.Itoldthemtheyshouldplanoneverything takinglongerandcostingmorethantheyhadoriginally thought.Iwasn’tbeingnegative,butIwasspeakingfrom experience.Whydoesithappenthatway?Therearealways

thingsthathappeninthemiddleofeveryprojectthatare unexpectedandthatcausedelays.Wecanavoid disappointmentbyaddingacushionoftimetoeveryproject.

Peoplearelateforappointmentsbecausetheydon’tplan forunexpectedthings.Wewouldbewisetoexpectthe unexpected.Anunexpectedphonecallmaycomethroughthat wecan’tignore.Orifyou’relikeme,youforgetsomethingthat youhavetogobackintothehousefor.Thenyoucan’tfindit andhavetospendtimelookingforit.IhavehadtimeswhenI gotintomycarandcouldnotfindmycellphone,soIwent backintothehouseandcouldn’tfinditanywhere.Ifinally askedsomeoneelseinthehousetocallmyphonesoIcould followtheringing,andendedupfindingitinthebottomofmy purseinthecar.Allthattimewaswasted,butifIleavenotime fortheunexpected,Ienduprushedandfrustrated.

Sadly,manypeopledon’tmakeitthroughthestormsof life.Ortheygiveuportheystartdoingandsayingfoolish thingsandabortthejourneyaltogether.Itiseasytobegin,but Godislookingforpeoplewhowillfinish.

TheapostlePauldeclaredthestandthathewouldtakein ordertocompletehisjourney:

Butnoneofthesethingsmoveme;neitherdoIesteem mylifedeartomyself,ifonlyImayfinishmycourse withjoy.Acts 20:24

Areyouinthemiddleofajourneyrightnowandastorm isbrewing?IencourageyoutosaywhatPaulsaid.Declarethat nothingwillstopyouandthatyouwillnotquit.Keepsaying, “Iwillfinishmyjourneyandreachmygoal.”

Hereisalistofthingswecansaywhenthestormis raging:

Godismystrength,andIcandowhateverIneedtodo inlifethroughChrist.

Godneverallowsmoretocomeonusthanwhatwecan bear,butforeverytemptation,Healwaysprovidesthe wayout.

AllthingsworkoutforgoodtothosewholoveGod andarecalledaccordingtoHispurpose.

GodisfaithfulandHelovesme.Heneverleavesmenor forsakesme.

Godisnotsurprisedbythisstorm,becauseHeknows allthingsfromthebeginningtotheend.

IammorethanaconquerorthroughChrist,Who strengthensme.

IhavealreadydefeatedtheagentsoftheAntichrist becausegreaterisHethatisinmethanHethatisinthe world.

Iamgrowingspirituallyduringthisstorm. Iwillnotfear,forGodiswithme.

God’stimingisperfect,andthisstormwillendrighton time.

Orifyouwanttobemiserableandperhapsneverreach yourgoal,youcouldsaythingslike:

Idon’tunderstandwhythisishappening whereis God?

Ican’ttakeanymoreofthis.

Ihatethis. Iamgivingup. Thisisjusttoohard. God,don’tYouloveme?

Iamconfused;Itrytodowhatisrightandlookatthe messIamin.

Nothingeverworksoutrightforme. Iamsickandtiredoftrouble.

Whichwillyouchoose?

Whatwesayisuptous,butwemustrememberthatour wordshavepower.Theyhavethepoweroflifeanddeath(see Proverbs18:21).Wewillbeaccountableforourwords.

Itellyou,onthedayofjudgmentmenwillhavetogive accountforeveryidle(inoperative,nonworking)word theyspeak.Matthew 12:36

WhenIstandbeforeGodonjudgmentdaytogivean accountofmylife,Idon’twantHimtoaskmewhyIwastedso muchofthepowerHeofferedmebyspeakinguseless,vain words.IbelievewewillnotonlybeheldaccountabletoGod, butarealsoheldaccountablewhilewearehereonearth.We doreaptheharvestoftheseedswehavesown.Wecansay whateverweplease,butfreedomisalwaysfollowedby responsibilityandaccountability.Godurgesustodothings Hisway,butHewon’tforceus.Thechoiceisuptous.

WhattoDoWhenYouMakeMistakes

Wewillmakemistakeswithourmouths,andwhenwedo,we canaskGodtoforgiveusandkeeppressingforward.Isaiah foundhimselfinthepresenceofGod,andoneofthefirst thingsherealizedwasthathewasamanofuncleanlips(see Isaiah6:1–5).Godsentanangelwithcoalsoffire,andwith themhecleansedIsaiah’slipsandsaid,“Youriniquityand guiltaretakenaway”(Isaiah6:7).PraiseGod,wecanbe forgivenandhaveanewbeginning.Godneverrunsoutofnew beginnings,andHismercyisneweveryday.Hallelujah!When youfirstbegintocleanupyourconfession,youmayfeel overwhelmedbythemistakesyoumake.Youhavebeen makingthemallalong,butnowyouarebecomingawareof them.Thatisactuallygoodnews,becausethetruthissetting youfree.NeverfeeldiscouragedwhentheHolySpiritconvicts youofsininanyareaoflife,butinsteadrejoicethatyoucan recognizeHisconvictionandyoucanrepentandstartfresh. Satanwantsustofeelworthlessandasifweareabig mistakejustwaitingtohappen.Don’tbelievehislies!Heisthe AccuseroftheBrethren,butwhenheaccusesyou,justtalk backtothedevilandsay,“IamGod’schild.HelovesmeandI amforgiven.Imaynotbeperfect,butIammakingprogress andIwillneverquittryingtoimproveaslongasIlive.”

Defeating Your Enemies

Isupposeweallthinkthatwehaveenemies.Peoplecaneasily moveintothecategoryof“enemy”iftheygiveustrouble.The unpleasantcircumstancesinlifearealsoviewedasenemies. Butthetruthisthatwehave one enemy,andthatisSatanand hisdemonsthatdohisbidding.Wecanneverdefeatour enemyuntilweknowwhoheis.

IwasaChristianformanyyearsbeforeIevenrealizedthat thedevilwasrealandthathewastherootsourceofmy troublesinlife.Fightingthewrongenemyandhopingtowin thebattlewouldbelikehavingaheartproblemandbeing treatedforabrokenleg.Yourheartwouldgetnobetter,and yourtimeandmoneywouldbewasted.TheapostlePaulsaid thatourwarisnotwithfleshandblood:

Forwearenotwrestlingwithfleshandblood [contendingonlywithphysicalopponents],but againstthedespotisms,againstthepowers,against [themasterspiritswhoare]theworldrulersofthis presentdarkness,againstthespiritforcesof wickednessintheheavenly(supernatural)sphere.

Ephesians 6:12

AlthoughSatancanworkthroughpeopletowoundus, andhecanusecircumstancesofallkindstotemptanddistract us,wemustrememberthat he isthetrueenemy notthe peopleandcircumstancesthatheuses.

WhenSatanwastryingtousePetertohinderJesusfrom followingGod’splanforHislife,JesusknewwhoHistrue enemywasandHespokedirectlytothedemonspiritworking throughPeter.

ButJesusturnedawayfromPeterandsaidtohim,Get behindMe,Satan!YouareinMyway[anoffenseand ahindranceandasnaretoMe],foryouareminding whatpartakesnotofthenatureandqualityofGod,but ofmen.Matthew 16:23

Sadly,therearetimeswhenweallletthedeviluseusto hurtotherpeople.Unlessweareveryspirituallymature,hecan workthroughourflesh,andweareusuallyunawarethatheis doingso.Weoftensayordothingsthathurtpeople,orwe maycreatetroublesomecircumstancesthroughfoolish behavior.Satanworksthroughourweaknesses,butJesuswill strengthenusthroughthemifwelearntorecognizethemand takethemtoHimdaily.

Forexample,ourmouthsareusuallyaweakareaforus. Wesaythingsthathurtpeopleandcausetroublefor ourselves.Wewillcontinuedoingsountilwerealizethe damagethetonguecandoandleanheavilyonGoddailyto helpandstrengthenusinthisareaofweakness.

AswematureinGod,weallowourselvestobeusedmore andmorebyGod,andlessandlessbythedevil.Wecan becomeablessingeverywherewegoifwewillworkwiththe HolySpiritandlearntolistentoHim.

InLuke4,weseethatJesuswasledintothewilderness bytheHolySpirittobetemptedbythedevil.Heremained

thereforfortydays,duringwhichtimeHefastedand successfullyresistedseveralliesofSatan.Jesushadafight withthedevilandHewon!Wecandothesamething.Weare winnersunlesswebecomewhiners!Wemustbecarefulwhat wesayduringbattle.Besureduringbattlethatyouspeak wisely,sayingthingsthatagreewithGod’sWord,ratherthan thingsfilledwithfear,worry,andcomplaining.

WearYourArmorandUseYourWeapons

Godalwaysgivesuseverythingweneedtoenableustobe victoriousinthislife,andHehasgivenuswhatweneedto defeatSatan.Firstofall,wehavethenameofJesus.Thereis powerinthatname,inheaven,ontheearth,andunderthe earth,andatthementionofHisname,everykneemustbow (seePhilippians2:9–10).JesusgaveuspermissiontouseHis name.PrayinginHisnameisthesameasifHeprayed,forwe arepresentingtotheFatherallthatJesusis.Hisname representsallthatHedid,andallthatHeis.Irecommendthat youreadagoodbookoccasionallyaboutthepowerthatisin thenameofJesus.IfindthatIneedafreshreminderofsomeof themostimportantthingsIhavelearned.Ineedtobestirred upinfaithonceagain.WhenJesusgaveusHisnametouse hereontheearth,Hegaveusanamazinglypowerfulgift,and weneedtouseitforGod’sglory.

TheapostlePaultaughtusthattheweaponsofour warfarearenotcarnal,andthattheyarenotweaponsofflesh andblood;therefore,theymustbespiritualweapons.God didn’tleaveusguns,cannons,andkniveswithwhichtofight Satan,butHedidleaveuspowerfulweapons.

HeleftusHisname,Hisblood,andHisWord.TheWord ofGodusedproperlyisvitaltoourvictory.Wecansingthe Word,speaktheWord,preachtheWord,teachtheWord, listentotheWord,andreadandstudytheWord.TheWordof Godistruthanditistheonlythingthatwilldefeattheliesand deceptionsofSatan.WhenSatantoldJesusthatifHewould worshiphimjustonce,hewouldgivehimallthekingdomsof theworld,Jesussaid,“GetbehindMe,Satan!Itiswritten,you shalldohomagetoandworshiptheLordyourGod,andHim onlyshallyouserve”(Luke4:8).JesusknewtheWordandHe spoketheWord.Heusedthesharptwo-edgedswordofGod’s WordagainstHisenemy,Satan.

Fortheweaponsofourwarfarearenotphysical [weaponsoffleshandblood],buttheyaremighty beforeGodfortheoverthrowanddestructionof strongholds.2Corinthians10:4

ThestrongholdsthatPaulspeaksaboutareinourminds. TheyareareasthatSatandominatesthroughliesthatwehave believed.Theonlyweaponmightyenoughtodestroythose liesisGod’sWord.Whenweknowit,believeit,obeyit,and speakit,thenSatanquicklybecomesadefeatedfoe.

PaulalsotaughtthatGodhasgivenussixpiecesofarmor andthatweneedtoputthemonandresistSatan.Noneofthe armormentionedinEphesians6isnaturalarmormadewith humanhands.ItisallspiritualarmorsuppliedbyGod.

Thearmorconsistsofthefollowing:

First,wearegiventhebeltoftruth,whichistheWordof God.Wearetoldtotightenourbeltinbattle.Inotherwords,

hangontotheWordmorethaneverintimesoftestingor warfare.

Second,wearegiventhebreastplateofrighteousnessto wear.Asourheartsarecoveredwiththeknowledgethatwe havebeengivenrightstandingwithGod,Satancannot condemnusandmakeusfeelworthlessandinsecure.The breastplateprotectsourheart.

Third,wehavebeengiventheshoesofpeacetowear. Thatsimplymeansthatwearetowalkinpeaceandremainin peace,nomatterwhatkindofbattleisraging.Satansetsusup togetusupset,butifwerefusetobeupset,thenhisplanis frustratedandhasnopower.

Fourth,Godhasgivenustheshieldoffaithandweareto liftitup.Thatmeansweshouldreleaseourfaithinevery challengingsituation.Agoodwaytodothatistosay,“Iama childofGod,andmytrustisinHim.”Ialsoliketosay,“I believethatGodisworkingrightnowinthissituation.”The Biblesaysthatwiththeshieldoffaithwecanquenchallthe fierydartsoftheenemy.

Fifth,wearegiventhehelmetofsalvation,andtomethat meansIneedtothinklikesomeonewhohasbeensavedand deliveredfromsinanditseffects.Duringbattleweshould rememberandsaythatwearebelovedchildrenofGod,thatwe areforgivenandGodhasagoodplanforourlives.

Andlast,butcertainlynotleast,wearegiventhesword thattheSpiritwields,whichistheWordofGod.Wearealso toldtocovereverythingwithprayer.PrayerinJesus’namethat isfilledwithGod’sWordsealseveryvictoryandmakesitsure.

Ifwewanttowinourbattles,wemustwearthisarmoranduse ourweapons.WearesoldiersinGod’sarmy,andwemustnot

belazyandpassive.Wearetobealert,active,andwatchfulat alltimes.

AnotherthingIprayforregularlyisdiscernment.Itisone ofthegiftsofGod’sSpiritthatwillhelpusrecognizewhenevil spiritsareinoperationandnotbedeceivedbythem.Spiritual discernmentallowsustoknowthingsbythespirit.Thankfully, wedon’thavetodependonjustourmindstoknowthings.

RememberMargaret,thewomanwhospokeangrilytoher husbandaboutplayingthepiano?There’smoretoherstory. TwoyearsafterRichard’sdeath,shehadlunchwithan acquaintance.Thiswomanmentionedinpassingthathersister heardfromdeadpeople.Infact,sheoncehadtoquitajob becauseherofficewasinthebasementofahospitalnearthe hospitalmorgue,andshehadtoleavebecauseshecouldn’t standtheclamorofallthosevoices!Margaretisamature Christiananddoesn’tputstockinspeakingwiththedead.She changedthesubjectandthoughtnothingmoreofituntilher phoneranglaterthatnight.Itwastheacquaintance,whohad justspokenwithhersister.

“Ihappenedtomentionthatyourhusbanddiedacouple ofyearsago.Thenonawhim,Iaskedherifshe’dheardfrom anyonenamedRichard.Mysistersaidthatshehasheardalot fromaRichardlately,butshedidn’tknowwhohewas.”

ShewentontotellMargaretthatRichardwasdesperately tryingtoreachher.ThenshetoldMargaretseveralthingsthat couldnothavecomefromanyonebutRichard.Infact,oneof thethingsshesaidwasthatRichardwantedtoknowwhy Margaretdidn’tplaythepianoanymore.

Margaretwasextremelyshakenup.Atfirstshewondered ifGodwasallowinghertolearnthingssheneededtoknowin

ordertomoveonwithherlife.Sheknowsthescripturessayto stayawayfrommediums,wizards,soothsayers,andthosewith familiarspirits(seeLeviticus20:6,Isaiah8:19),andshewas verytroubled.Thefirstthingshedidwastoprayfor discernment.Shewasinthemiddleofaspiritualbattle.Satan wastryingtodeceiveher!

SheopenedherBibleandprayedforeachpieceofarmor: thebeltoftruth,thebreastplateofrighteousness,theshoesof peace,theshieldoffaith,thehelmetofsalvation,andthe swordofthespirit.Almostimmediately,Margaretrealizedthat shewasdefinitelyhearingfromsomeone notGod,butSatan.

Theminutesherealizedthat,herpeacewasrestoredandher awarenessofSatan’sabilitiesheightened.Margaretwonthat battlewithGod’shelp.Andshehasstartedplayingthepiano again.

YouCan’tDefeatGoliathwithYourMouthShut

InGod’sWord,welearnaboutanimmensegiantthatcame againstthearmyofIsrael,andnotoneofKingSaul’ssoldiers hadthecouragetogoagainsthim.Therewasoneyoung courageousboywhobelievedthatwithGod’shelphecould defeatthegiant.Davidwasaboywhotendedsheepandwrote andsangsongsofpraiseandworshiptoGod.GodhadHiseye onDavidandhad,infact,anointedhimtobethefutureking.

ThestoryofDavid’sbattlewithGoliathcanbefoundinI

Samuel17:32–48,butIwilltellittoyouinmyownwords.

Davidsteppedforwardandsaidthatnooneshouldfear thegiantbecausehewaswillingtogoandfightwithhim. RememberthatDavidwasnotatrainedsoldierandhadno

knowledgeoftheweaponryofthatday.KingSaulquicklytold DavidthathewasnotabletofightwithGoliathbecausehe wasmerelyanadolescent,andthegianthadbeenawarriorfor manyyears.

Davidwasnotdiscouragedbytheking’sdiscouraging words.Areyouabletoheardiscouragingwordsfromothers, andyetnotbediscouragedbythem?Thisissomethingwewill havetolearntodoifweareevergoingtowinourbattles.

Davidimmediatelybegantorememberandrehearseother victorieshehadexperiencedthatwereamazing.Hesaidthat whilehekepthisfather’ssheep,therecamealionandagaina bearthattookalambfromtheflock,andhekilleditand deliveredthelamb.Heactuallysaidthathecaughtitbythe beardandkilledit,indicatingthathediditwithhisbarehands. Hewentontosaythatthegiantwouldbejustlikethelionand thebearandthathecouldindeeddefeatGoliath.Davidwas nothappythatthegiantwasbeingallowedtodefythearmies ofthelivingGod.

SaulfinallyagreedtoletDavidtry,buttoldhimtowear hisarmor.Davidtriedtowearit,butcouldnotbecausehe wasn’tusedtoit.Davidhadsimplermethods.HetrustedGod andusedaslingshot!HisrealweaponwashisfaithinGodand knowinghowtousehiswordswisely.

WhenthegiantcamenearDavid,hebegantotauntand scornhim,butinsteadofshrinkingbackinfear,Davidbeganto talkbacktoGoliath.Hesaid:

Youcometomewithasword,aspear,andajavelin, butIcometoyouinthenameoftheLordofhosts,the GodoftheranksofIsrael,Whomyouhavedefied.

ThisdaytheLordwilldeliveryouintomyhand,and Iwillsmiteyouandcutoffyourhead.AndIwillgive thecorpsesofthearmyofthePhilistinesthisdayto thebirdsoftheairandthewildbeastsoftheearth, thatalltheearthmayknowthatthereisaGodinIsrael. AndallthisassemblyshallknowthattheLord savesnotwithswordandspear;forthebattleisthe Lord’s,andHewillgiveyouintoourhands.1 Samuel 17:45–47

Wow!Thiskindoftalkgetsmeexcited.Ipraythatyou andIwilltalkthiswaythenexttimewefaceanenemy.

GoliathcametowardDavid,andthenDavidrantowardthe battlelineandhediddefeatGoliathjustashedeclaredthathe would.Davidwasn’tdependingonhimself,buthewas dependentonGod.Hewasn’teventryingtobuildhisown reputation,buthewasfightingforGod’sreputation.He wantedeveryonetoknowthattherewasaGodinIsrael.Are wereadytodobattleforGod’sreputationintheearthtoday?

Willwecontinuetomerelycomplainwhenwehaveabattleto fight,orwillwestanduplikemenandwomenofGodand declarethatthevictorybelongstoGod?

Don’ttrytodefeatGoliathwithyourmouthshut.Speak up,justlikeDaviddid.KeepyourmouthfilledwithGod’s Word,wieldtheswordoftheSpiritwisely,andyouwillbea championforGodasDavidwas.

TheBattleBelongstotheLord

Davidwasnottheonlyonetosaythatthebattlebelongedto

theLord.Jahaziel,whoprophesiedtotheIsraelitesintheirtime ofbattle,toldthemthesamething.

ManyarmieswerecomingagainstJehoshaphatandhis army,andtheywereafraid.ThevictorythatGodgavethem andthewayHegaveittothemarequiteamazing.Theaccount ofitisfoundin2Chronicles20:1–22.Iwilltellyouthestory briefly,butsuggestthatyoureaditaswellforyourself.

WhenJehoshaphatfeared,hewasdeterminedtoseekGod ashisvitalnecessity.HealsoproclaimedafastinallJudahand gatheredthepeopletogethertoseektheLord.Themomentwe feelfear,weshouldfollowhisexampleandseekGod.Don’trun tothephoneandcallafriendforadvice;runtothethroneof GodandaskHimwhattodobeforeyoudoanythingelse.

WeseeinthisstorythatJehoshaphatwenttoGodusing rightwords.ThefirstthinghedidwasdeclarehowgreatGodis andthatherulesoverallthekingdomsandthatnoonecould withstandHim.HewaspraisingGodanddeclaringHis greatness.

ThenextthinghedidwastoremindGodofhowHehad deliveredtheminthepast,andthatheknewHewaslistening tothemevennow.HeremindedGodthattheyhadbuilta sanctuaryforHisname.Hedidnotmentionthattheyhad enemiescomingagainstthemandneededhelpuntilafterhe hadsentpraiseaheadofhisrequest.Doyousendpraiseahead ofpetition?Ithinkweallforgettheimportanceofdoingsoat times.Wegetsoconcernedaboutourneedthatweforgetthe powerofpraise.JudahrepresentedpraiseintheBible,andGod alwayssentthetribeofJudahintobattlefirst.Wemustsend praisefirstifwewanttowinourbattles.

AfterJehoshaphattoldGodoftheirneed,hemadeavery

importantstatement:

OhourGod,willYounotexercisejudgmentupon them?Forwehavenomighttostandagainstthisgreat companythatiscomingagainstus.Wedonotknow whattodo,butoureyesareuponYou.2 Chronicles 20:12

ThisconfessionoftotaldependenceonGodwasvery important.GodwantsustoleanonHim.

AstheywaitedonGod,HespokethroughJahazielsaying, “Benotafraidordismayedatthisgreatmultitude;forthebattle isnotyours,butGod’s.”Hetoldthemtogooutthenextday andtaketheirpositions,butthattheywouldnotneedtofight inthebattle.

Thepositiontheytookwasoneofpraiseandworship. Jehoshaphatboweddowntoworship,othersstoodtopraise Godwithaloudvoice,andsingerswereappointedtosingin theirholypriestlygarments.Thisisthesongtheysang(verse 21):

“GivethankstotheLord,forHismercyandloving kindnessendureforever!”

Iimaginetheysangitoverandover.Getthepicture?The kingisworshipping,thesoldiersarepraising,thesingersare singing,andthenextthingthathappenedistrulyamazing.

Andwhentheybegantosingandtopraise,theLord setambushmentsagainstthemenofAmmon,Moab, andMountSeirwhohadcomeagainstJudah,and theywere[self-]slaughtered.2 Chronicles 20:22

That’sright!Theenemygotsoconfusedthattheykilled eachother,andjustasGodhadsaid,Judahdidn’tevenhave tofightthebattle.

Thisstorythrillsmeandteachesmealessonthatis wonderful.Alwayssendpraiseandworshipintoyourbattles first.Useyourspiritualweaponsandneverforgetwhothereal enemyis.

Alwaysrememberthesetwothings:Wewrestlenotwith fleshandblood,butwithprincipalitiesandpowers(see Ephesians6:12).Andtheweaponsofourwarfarearenotcarnal (naturalweapons)(see2Corinthians10:4).Yourmouthfilled withGod’sWordisaweaponthatSatancannotdefeat.

How Happy Do YouWant to Be?

JerryL.Haynes’smotherwasdyingofleukemia.Intwoyears, shehadgonefromastrongmatriarchtoahelplessinvalid. Finally,shelayinthehospitalroominasemiconsciousstate. Atdeath’sdoor,shecouldnolongerspeakthroughherdry, swollenlips.Herfamilysleptinthehospitalroom,awaiting death.

WhenJerrywokeearlythenextmorning,thesunbroke throughthewindow.

Hismotherrolledontohersideandlookedintotheglare ofthenewlyrisensun.Thenasthesunmadesparkling starburstsinhereyes,shelickedherparchedlipsandsaid, “Gee,it’sgoingtobeabeautifuldaytoday.”Her circumstanceswerenothingtorejoiceabout,butshedecided tobejoyfulanyway!

Canweincreaseourjoywheneverythingaroundusis fallingapart?God’sWordclearlysaysthatwecan whatever ourcircumstances.AndhavingputtheprinciplesofGod’s Wordtoworkinmyownlifeovermanyyears,Iwholeheartedly agreethatwecanincreaseourjoy.Wearenotmerelyvictims ofcircumstance,blownaboutbythestormsoflifeandhaving nochoiceregardinghowwewillrespond.

Forlethimwhowantstoenjoylifeandseegooddays [good whetherapparentornot]keephistonguefree fromevilandhislipsfromguile(treachery,deceit).1

Accordingtothisscripture,wecanenjoylifenomatter whatthecircumstancesmaybeaslongasweknowwhattodo withourtongue(wordsandconversation)andwhatnottodo withit.Thewordsthatwechoosetospeakinlifehavea tremendousimpactonourlevelofjoy.Happywordscan increaseyourjoy.Fillyourvocabularywithwordssuchas fantastic,beautiful,amazing,appreciate,thank you, wonderful,celebrate,enthusiastic,energetic,awesome,great, huge,superb,hope,faith,and love.Thewell-knownworship leaderandmyfriendDarleneZschechusestheword beautiful allthetimeinherdailyspeech.ItmademehappyeverytimeI hearditsoIstartedsayingit,too.MyfriendsChrisandNick CaineofEquipandEmpowerMinistriesfrequentlysayto peoplewhileweareoutandabout,“Youareawesome,mate.” (TheyareAustralian.)Wecanspendadaywiththemand perhapshearthatstatementnolessthantwentytimes.I noticeditputsmilesonfaces,soIhaveworkedthatoneinto myvocabularyalso.Noticethewordsthatmakeyouhappy whenpeoplespeakthemtoyouandstartspeakingthemto others.Workcheerfulandhappywordsintoconversations insteadoftalkingexcessivelyaboutproblemsandusingugly wordssuchas hate,anger,bitter,give up,my problem,tired, worn out,miserable,discouraged,depressed,and wretched.

Thefirstthingthatmostofuswanttodowhenwehave anytroubleatallistalkaboutitandtalkaboutitandtalkabout it!IfindthatImustaggressivelyresistthetemptationtotalk aboutmytroubles,andyourexperiencemaybethesame.

Wecertainlycanandshouldtalktosomeone,butthebest

onetotalktoisGodandthenperhapssomeonethatHemight leadustoafterconsultingHimfirst.Sometalkingaboutour problemscanbeveryhealthy.Ifwemerelystuffeverything thathurtsandtroublesusinsideoursoulsandrefusetodeal withourpainanddisappointment,itcanbedevastating.We doneedawayofreleasingourpain,orassomepeoplesay, “Therearetimesinlifewhenweneedtovent.”Ioftenfind answerstomyproblemswhileIverbalizethesituation,andthat isagoodthing,butIstillneedtobeverycarefulaboutwhomI talktoandhowItalktothemaboutthethingsthattroubleme.

Talkingjusttobetalkingtoanyonewhowilllistenisnot onlyuselessbutfoolish,anditdrainsourstrengthandsteals ourjoy.

Firstandforemost,weshouldprayabouteverything.Whenwe pray,wearenotonlyaskingGodtohelpus,butweareasking Himtoadviseusaboutanyactionweshouldtake.

Donotfretorhaveanyanxietyaboutanything,butin everycircumstanceandineverything,byprayerand petition(definiterequests),withthanksgiving, continuetomakeyourwantsknowntoGod.

Philippians 4:6

IencourageyoutoformahabitofgoingtoGodinprayer themomentthatanythingtroublesyou.Oneofthebestways toremaininthepresenceofGodthroughoutthedayisto accustomourselvestohavingacontinualconversationwith

Him.Whenwedoso,wearepraying,forprayerissimply talkingtoGodandlisteninginourheartsforHisresponse.He maybringascripturetomindthatwillgiveuscomfortor direction.Itmightbeanidea,orastrong“knowing”thatwe shouldtakethisorthatdirection.Theimportantthingisthat wehonorGodbygoingtoHimfirst.Goddoesnotalways immediatelygiveusdirectionafterwepray,butmyexperience hasbeenthatHedoesindeeddirectoursteps.

ArecentsituationIexperiencedwastroublingmebecause itwascrucialthatIhandleitproperly.Icouldnotmerelydo whatIfeltlikedoing;IhadtobeassuredthatIwasmakingthe rightdecisionbecauseitinvolvedotherpeople’slivesandI didn’twantanyonetobehurt,nordidIwanttotreatanyone unjustly.Afterprayingforafewdays,IfeltstronglythatI wantedtotalktoapastorthatIknowandrespectandaskhis adviceaboutwhatIwasintendingtodo.Itwasasituationthat hadmestirredupemotionally,andIknowthatemotional decisionsareoftenverydangerous,soIfelttheneedtospeak tosomeonewhowasn’tdirectlyinvolvedandcouldgivegodly advicewithoutfilteringitthroughhisemotions.

Proverbs 15:7

Thewisepersoncanlookatallsides,considerallthe information,anddisperseknowledgeproperly.

Gettingnoadviceisbetterthangettingbadadvice,sothe firstguidelineabouttalkingtoothersaboutourproblemsis thatweshouldmakesureitissomeonewerespectandare willingtotrulylistento.Otherwise,wearetalkingjusttobe

Thelipsofthewisedisperseknowledge[siftingitas chafffromthegrain].

talkingandreallydon’twantadviceatall.Talktosomeone whoisknowntobe“wise,”whoknowsGod’sWord extensively,whoisstronginfaithandwillkeepyoursecrets.I wanttosayagainthatifwetalktosomeoneandhaveno intentionofseriouslyconsideringhisorheradvice,thenwe aretalkingjusttobetalkingandthatiswhenourwordsare beingwasted,andperhapsopeningadoorforthedevilto causeevenmoreproblemsthanwealreadyhave.

TheWordofGodclearlyteachesusnottoseekorfollow theadviceoftheungodly(seePsalm1:1).Adviceshouldcome fromtruefriendswhowillnotonlyagreewithus,butwill disagreeiftheyknowthatwearewrong.WhileIwasmakingall thedecisionsthatneededtobemadeinthesituationIwasin,I toldmyhusbandandtwoothermenofGodwhomIrespectto pleaseletmeknowiftheyfeltatanytimethatIwasbeing emotionalandnotmakinggooddecisions,oriftheyperceived Iwasbeingunfairinmyjudgments.

Weshouldalsotalkonlytopeoplewecantrustnottotalk tosomeoneelseaboutwhatwehavediscussedwiththem. Onlypeoplewithmaturecharactercanbetrustedtokeep secrets.Thetemptationto“talk”issostrongthatonlythose withhighlevelsofdisciplineintheirownlivesaresafetotalk to,especiallyifwhatweneedtotalkaboutisconfidential.

God’sWordteachesusnottoassociatewithanyonewho talkstoofreely,orisatalebearerorrevealsthesecretsof others(seeProverbs20:19).Remember,iftheytellyou someoneelse’ssecrets,theywilltellsomeoneelseyours.Be verywiseinwhomyoutalkto.Haveyoueverbeenhurtdeeply becauseyouconfidedinsomeoneandthenyoudiscovered thatpersonhadrevealedyoursecretstoothers?Ithinkwe

haveallhadthatsadexperience,andweshouldlearnfromour mistakes.Let’slearntochooseourwordswisely,choose carefullywhomwetalkto,andmakesurewetreatothersthe waywewanttobetreated.Don’tevertellanyoneelse’s secretsifyouwantyourstobekeptprivate.

Wecanprotectourjoyandhappinessbyusingthe cautionsIhavementionedsofar.Ihavesacrificedmyjoyon numerousoccasionsbysimplytalkingtothewrongpeople. ThereissafetyinmanycounselorsaccordingtotheWordof God,buttheymustbegoodcounselors;otherwiseitis dangerous.

LearningtoHearfromGod

ThemorewegrowinGod’sWordandthemoreexperiencewe havewithHisways,thelesswewillneedtogotootherpeople foradvice.WelearntohearfromGodourselvesandbeledby theHolySpirit.BrotherLawrence,amonkwholivedinthe seventeenthcenturyanddevelopedtheholyhabitofalways beinginthepresenceofGod,saidthathe had no occasion to consult with anybody about his state.That when he had attempted to do it,he had always come away more perplexed. Heenjoyedaclose,intimaterelationshipwithGod,heknew God’sWordandHisways,andhewaseventuallyableto consultonlyGodwhenhewastroubled.

Itisnotwrongtogetcounselfromtherightpersonor people,butwecanalsodevelopacloserelationshipwithGod thatwillhelpusinmostsituationstospirituallydiscernwhat ourcourseofactionshouldbe.BrotherLawrencesaidhehad learnedthatmosthumanadvicelefthimevenmoreperplexed,

andIthinkwecanallsaywehaveoftenfeltthesameway. Somepeoplelovetogivetheiropinion,buttheiropinionis trulynotworthhearing.

GodshowedDavidhowtokillGoliath.Hismethodof usingaslingshotandsmoothstonesseemedridiculousto KingSaulandsoldiersstandingby.SaulgaveDavidhisarmor, butitdidn’tworkforhim.HehadtohaveGod’sdirectionto winthisbattle.Wewouldprobablywinmorebattlesalot quickerifwelearnedtohearfromGodandnotbesoquickto runtopeople.Butwhilewearelearningtodothat,let’s continuelearningwisdomaboutwhomtotalktoandhowto talktothemonthoseoccasionswhenweneedto.

HowShouldWeTalktothePeopleWeTalkto?

OncewedecidewithGod’shelpwhomwecantalkto,how shouldwetalktothem?Howdowetalkaboutaproblemand notmakeitworse?

Amanhasjoyinmakinganaptanswer,andaword spokenattherightmoment howgooditis!

Proverbs 15:23

Rightwordsattherighttimetotherightpersoncanbea greatblessing,butwemustlearntheartoftalkingabouta negativesituationinapositiveway.IfindthatifIamtalking justtobetalking,Iusuallyspeakoutofmyemotionsandmost ofwhatIsayisuseless.Imaybegivingotherpeople information,butIamnothelpingmyself,andoftenfindIfeel worseaftertalkingthanIdidbefore.

Satanwillcertainlyneverstoptemptingustouseour wordstoharmourselvesandotherpeople,butifwelearnto chooseourwordswisely,wecanbenefitandbeblessedby rightwordsspokenattherightmoment.

Anytimewetalktosomeoneelseaboutourproblems,we shouldbedoingsoinsearchofananswerorsomewise counselthatcancomfortus.Iwanttosayagainthatwhenwe talkjusttobetalkingandwehavenopurposeinmind,we usuallysaythingsthatreallydon’tneedtobesaid.Please noticethatIsaid“we,”becauseIstillneedalotofgrowthin thisareamyself.Actually,Ineedthisteachingsomuchthat evenifnobodywereinterestedinthisbook,Iwouldwriteit justformyself.

Itisgoodtoformahabitofnotusingtheword problems.I thinkjusthearingtheworddecreasesourjoyandgivesusa feelingofbeingburdened.Jesushadadversecircumstancesall thetime,butIhonestlycannotimagineHimsaying,“Peter, James,andJohn,IhavearealproblemandIneedtotalkabout it.Idon’tknowwhatIamgoingtodo,andIamworried.Iknow Ihavetodieforthesinsofman,andMyFatherdidpromiseto raiseMefromthedead,butwhatifHedoesn’tcomethrough?” Iamsureyouarethinking,That is ridiculous,Jesus would never talk like that.Youareright;Hewouldn’t.Butwedo. HedidtalkaboutHissituation,butneverinanegative way.HetoldHisdisciplesthatHewasgoingaway,butthatHe wouldreturnandthattheyshouldbehappyforHimbecauseit wasthewillofGod.HewentontosaythatHewouldn’tbe

talkingmuchmorewiththembecausetheevilonewascoming andhehadnopoweroverHim.HestatedthatHehadtodo whattheFatherhadcommandedHim(seeJohn14:28–31).

Jesusknewwhentotalk,whennottotalk,andhowto talk.Heobviouslyknewthepowerandimpactofwords.Jesus wasfacinganextremelychallengingsituationtosaytheleast, andIbelievechoosingtosayfewerwordsandmakesurethe onesHedidsayweretherightoneshelpedHimgetalltheway throughGod’sperfectplanforHim.

Iwonderhowmanytimeswehavesituationsthatturn intonightmaresforussimplybecauseofthewaywetalkabout them.AllofourchallengesareGod’sopportunitytoshow Himselfstrong.Thenexttimeyoudecidetotalktosomeone aboutadifficultsituationyouaregoingthrough,trydoingitin themostpositivewayyoupossiblycan.Youmightsay somethinglikethis:“IhaveasituationIwouldliketodiscuss withyou.”Thenasbrieflyaspossible,givethedetailsandsay, “ItrustGodtoprovidethewayofescapebecauseHehas promisedtodoso,andIwaswonderingifyouhaveanywords ofcomfortwhileIamwaiting,orwordsofadvicethatyoufeel Godmightwanttospeakthroughyou.”

IntheGospelofMark,wearetoldtospeaktoour mountainsandtellthemtomove(see11:22–23),butmostofus talkabout themratherthan to them.Wordsoffaithwillmove mountains,butwordsofworry,fear,anddoubtwillmakethe mountainsofchallengewefaceevenlarger.

CheerUp

Let’sgobacktotheoriginalquestionatthebeginningofthis

chapter.Howhappydoyouwanttobe?Ibelievetheanswer liesinhowwillingwearetodisciplineourselvestosaywhat Jesuswouldsayinoursamesituation.

JesustoldHisdisciplesandusthatintheworldwewould havetribulation,butthatweshouldcheerupbecauseHehad overcometheworldanddepriveditofpowertoharmus.

Keepingourjoyandbeingofgoodcheerarejustnotpossible amidnegative,power-drainingconversation.Anypersonwho talksexcessivelyaboutwhatsheperceivesasherproblemswill mostlikelybediscouragedandevendepressed.Shewillfeel overwhelmed,andthemoreshetalksabouthowshefeels,the moredefeatedshewillbe.

WhatIamsharingwithyouisnotdifficulttounderstand. Wecanincreaseordecreaseourownjoybyhowandwhatwe choosetotalkabout.Ifyoudon’tbelieveme,testitforone week.Makeacommitmenttotalkaboutasmanygoodthings asyoucan,andifyouhavetotalkaboutachallenging situation,thentalkaboutthepromisesofGodanddeclarethat youbelieveGodisworkingandthatyouareexpectinga breakthroughatanytime.Ifaweekistoolongforyou,then startwithadayatatimeorevenanhouratatimeifnecessary. Itrulybelieveyouwillfindanincreaseofjoyinyourlifeby choosingyourwordscarefully.

HowDoYouTalktoYourself?

Youwillneverbeabletochangewhatyoutalkaboutifyou don’tchangeyourthoughts,whicharereallyself-talk.Wetalk toourselvesmorethanwetalktoanyone.Wearethinking mostofthetime,andthoseprivatethoughtsareself-talk.How

wetalktoourselvesdeterminesourlevelofjoyjustassurely asourwordsdo.Takeafewminutesrightnowandinventory whatyouhavebeenthinkingaboutsofartoday.Ourself-talk affectsnotonlyourjoylevel,butalsoourpeaceandevenour physicalenergy.

AsIsaidearlier,Ihaverecentlybeenworkingthrougha “situation”ofmyown.Iwenttothegymtoworkoutyesterday andwassurprisedathowtiredIwas.IstartedwonderingwhyI wassotiredandquicklyrealizedthattheemotionsIhad expendedonmy“situation”haddrainedmyenergy.Andif youarewondering,ImustadmitthatItalkedaboutitwaytoo much.Actually,itwasafreshreminderformeofjusthow powerfulwordsareandIpraythatGodneverstopsreminding me,becauseitseemstobealessonthatmostofushaveto keeprelearning.

Ihappenedtoseeafriendofminewhoisgoingthrougha “situation”ofherownwithoneofherchildren,andshe mentionedhowdifficultherworkouthadbeenthatmorning.I knowforafactthatshehadalsobeentalkingtoomuchand sayingwrongthings.Thelawsofthespiritworkthesamefor everyone,andGod’sspirituallawsays,“Ifyouwanttoenjoy lifeandseegooddays[good whetherapparentornot]keep yourtonguefromevilandyourlipsfromguile(treachery, deceit)”(1Peter3:10).

WewillneverchangewithoutGod’shelp.Rememberthat nomancantamethetongue,butweabsolutelycannotgiveup andgiveintothetemptationthatSatanbringsinthisarea.

ContinueaskingforGod’shelpintamingyourtongue,andyou willkeepmakingprogress.Satanwantstostealourjoysohe canstealourstrength(seeNehemiah8:10).Whyisitso

difficultnottosinwithourmouths?Itisdifficultsimply becauseSatanknowsthepowerofrightwordsandhetempts usinthisarearelentlessly.Don’tforgetthatweeatthewords wespeak,solet’satleastbewiseenoughnottokeepeating poisonandthinkingitwon’tharmus.

Words That Grieve the Holy Spirit

To grieve someonemeans“tovex,offend,orsadden”that person.Griefisastrongandverypainfulemotion.Grievingthe HolySpiritofGodissomethingthatweshouldstrivetoavoid atalltimes.Firstandforemost,weshouldavoiditbecauseHe isGodmanifestedintheThirdPersonoftheHolyTrinity.His ministrytousisbeautifulandextremelyneedful,andwe shouldhonorHimandHisworkinourlivesatalltimes.

Second,theHolySpiritdwellsinusasGod’schildren,andif Hefeelsgrieved,thenwewillfeelthatgrief,too.Agreatdealof theChristian’ssadnessisdirectlyrelatedtohavinggrievedthe HolySpiritandthenwonderingwhyhehaslosthisjoy.

Someofmychildren’swordsblessmeandmakemefeel proudofthem,whileothershaveattimesgrievedme, especiallywhentheywereinthemidstoftheirself-centered teenageyears.Wordsofappreciation,forexample,putasmile onmyfaceandareablessingtome.Wordsofcomplaintand murmuringmakemesad.Asmostparentswould,IdoallthatI cantohelpmychildrenandaddtotheirjoyineveryway possible.Idoitwithnomotiveexcepttolovethem,togiveto them,andtomaketheirlivesbetter.Iwantthemtomaintainan attitudeofappreciation,anditisimportanttomethatthey don’tcomplainonthoserareoccasionswhenIcan’torfeelI shouldn’tdowhattheyask.Itisnotdifficultformeto understandthat.God,ourFather,feelsthesameway.

WelearnfromtheBiblethatanattitudeofgratitudeisnot

onlyimportant,butalsopowerful.Murmuring,grumbling,and complainingaredangerous.Theyaresodangerousthatan entirechapterofthisbookwillbededicatedtothemlater.

Let’stakeaseriouslookatwhattheBiblesaysgrievesthe HolySpirit:

Letnofoulorpollutinglanguage,norevilwordnor unwholesomeorworthlesstalk[ever]comeoutof yourmouth,butonlysuch[speech]asisgoodand beneficialtothespiritualprogressofothers,asis fittingtotheneedandtheoccasion,thatitmaybea blessingandgivegrace(God’sfavor)tothosewho hearit.

AnddonotgrievetheHolySpiritofGod[donot offendorvexorsaddenHim].Ephesians 4:29–30a

Thesescripturesteachusplainlythatsomewordsgrieve theHolySpiritandshouldbeavoidedbyanyonewhois speaking.Let’slookatthelistagain:Foul,polluting,evil, unwholesome,andworthlesswordsgrievetheHolySpirit! HerearesomeotherswordsthatIfoundtodefinetheones listedinEphesians4:29andoneswemightbeevenmore familiarwith:offensive to the senses,stinking,disgusting, harmful or poisonous,profoundly immoral or associated with the devil,not conducive to health or moral well-being,having no real value or use,and deserving ofcontempt.

TheapostlePaulgoesonwithhismessagetoChristians aboutwhatgrievestheHolySpirit:

Letallbitternessandindignationandwrath(passion,

rage,badtemper)andresentment(anger,animosity) andquarreling(brawling,clamor,contention)and slander(evil-speaking)bebanishedfromyou,withall malice(spite,illwill,orbasenessofanykind).

Ephesians 4:31

Weseethatangerandallofitsrelativesandthewords thatcomefromthemalsogrievetheHolySpiritandmustbe banishedfromus.IfsomeonewasbanishedfromtheUnited Statesbecausehewaslivinghereasanillegalalien,itwould meanthathehadtoleaveandcouldnotreturn.Wemustexile wordsthatgrievetheHolySpiritandnotletthemreturn.

WhyIstheHolySpiritGrieved?

AnythingwedothatisnotGod’swillforussaddenstheHoly SpiritbecauseHispurposeinourlivesistobringusintothe fullnessofwhatJesusdiedtogiveus.Heworkswithusto bringusintofullmaturity,orintothefullimageofJesusChrist, WhoistheexpressImageofGodtheFather.Wehavealready seenthatourmaturitycanbeaccuratelymeasuredbythe wordsthatcomeoutofourmouth.Iamsureyourememberthat theapostlePaultoldtheCorinthiansthattheywerebaby Christiansandhewasunabletogivethemstrongteaching, andtheywereunabletotalkyet!Theydidn’ttalkproperly,and bythisandotherthings,Paulknewtheywereimmature.

AnotherreasontheHolySpiritisgrievedbyunattractive, harshwordsisthatHeisgentlelikeadove.Dovesarevery sensitivebirdsandtheywillflyawayattheslightestnoiseif theyareperchedinatree.Iheardthestoryofacouplewho

hadlotsofpigeonsroostingintheeavesoftheirapartment building,andthesebirdswouldoftensitontheirwindow ledge.Muchtotheirsurprise,adovecameonedayandrested wherethepigeonsusuallysat.Thecouplegotintoan argument,whichwasnotthatunusualforthem,butthey noticedthatthedoveflewawayimmediatelywhentheirvoice tonesbecamebitterandharsh.Thepigeonshadneverflown away,butthedovedid.Godusedthisasalessontohelpthem understandhowtheirarguingwasgrievingtheHolySpiritand whytheyoftendidnotsenseHispresenceintheirhome.

TheHolySpirit,likethedove,willonlydwellinapeaceful, lovingatmosphere.Weshouldaskourselvesifourhomesare suitablefortheDove,oronlyforpigeons?WhentheHoly SpiritcameuponJesusatHisbaptism,theBiblesaysHecame onHimandremained.HastheHolySpiritcomeuponyouor yourhomeatsometime,butwasunabletoremainbecauseof angry,harsh,bitterwordsflyingaroundtheatmospheremost ofthetime?Thereweremanyyearsinmyownlifewhenthat wouldhavebeenthecase,butthankfully,overtheyearsIhave learnedthedangersofstrife(bickering,arguing,heated disagreement,andanangryundercurrent)andthepowerof unity.

GodwantsustobeoneasHeandJesusandtheHoly SpiritareOne.Jesusprayedthatwewouldbeoneasthey were.TheHolySpiritworkswithallofusrelentlessly,hoping toteachusthepowerofunityandagreement,andthedangers ofbeingquicktoangerandslowtoforgive.

AnunforgivingattitudeallowsSatantogainmoreground inthelivesofbelieversthananyotherthing.Ourworldtoday isfilledwithangrypeople,butwecannotbeoneofthem.Jesus

isthePrinceofPeace,andHewantsustoliveinandmaintaina peacefulatmosphere.Angerisalmostalwaysmanifestedin bitter,harshwords,andwordsofhatredandresentment.These arewordsthatgrievetheHolySpiritofGod.Whenwefeelsad, weshouldaskGodifwehavegrievedHisSpirit,andifso,we needtorepentandaskGodtoteachusafreshthepowerof words.

Angrywordsleadtotrouble,soitiswisetolearnto controlouranger.

Understand[this],mybelovedbrethren.Leteveryman bequicktohear[areadylistener],slowtospeak,slow totakeoffenseandtogetangry.James 1:19

Ifwedon’tcontrolouranger,wewon’tbeabletocontrol ourtongueseither.Theangerrollsoutofusinwordsthat describehowwefeelandwhatwethinkoftheoneweare angryat.AccordingtoEphesians4:31,whenangerisallowed torunitscourse,itturnsintobitterness,rage,badtemper, resentment,quarreling,slander,andevilspeaking.Itsounds uglywhenwetakealong,hardlookatit,andintruth,it is ugly. Godhascreatedusforblessing,peace,joy,righteousness,and love.HewantsustobeavesselforHimtoworkthrough,and thatwillrequiredealingwithangerandtamingthetongue.

Iwasonceaveryangrywoman,andofcourse,mymouth wasusedbythedeviltohurtpeopleandgrievetheHolySpirit.

Speakwhenyouareangry andyouwillmakethe bestspeechyou’lleverregret.Laurence J.Peter

AsIlearnedGod’sWordandbeganwantingtopleaseHim withmyways,Iknewthatmyangerissuehadtobedealtwith. Whilesomeofmyangerwasprobablyjustified,Ithinkmostof myangerissuesweremerelybadhabits.Iwatchedmyfather controlpeoplewithhisownanger,andIalsouseditasa methodofgettingwhatIwantedwhenotherpeopledidnot agreewithme.Ihadtofacethetruththatjustaboutanytime thingsdidn’tgomyway,andaccordingtomyplan,Igot angry.

LearningtoAdaptandAdjust

Ifwedon’tlearntoadaptandadjusttopeopleandthings,we willbreakunderthestrainoflife.Thisrequireshumility, trustingGod,andastrongcommitmenttobeingamakerand maintainerofpeace.

Liveinharmonywithoneanother;donotbehaughty (snobbish,high-minded,exclusive),butreadilyadjust yourselfto[people,things]andgiveyourselvesto humbletasks.Neveroverestimateyourselforbewise inyourownconceits.Romans 12:16

ThisscripturebotheredandconvictedmeuntilIfinally reachedaplaceinmyspiritualmaturitywhereIwaswillingto dowhatitsays.Doyouhaveanyscriptureslikethat?Isthis

oneofthem?Areyouwillingtohumbleyourselfandbewilling toadjustyourselftopeopleandthingsinordertolivein harmony?Orcanyoubepeacefulandpleasantonlywhenyou getyourownway?Iknowtheseareverystraightforward

questions,butIdobelievetheyareonesthattheHolySpirit wantsustoanswerhonestly.

Onlythetruthwillmakeusfree,andasIoftensay,“Itis notthetruthaboutsomeoneelsethatwillmakemefree,itisthe truthaboutmethatwillmakemefree.”Godwantsusto examineourlivesinthelightofHisWord,andsincethatisnot goingtochange,wemustbewillingto.Ifwedon’t,wewill neverbetrulyhappy,andasIalreadysaid,wewillbreakunder thestrainofwhatlifedealsouttousifwedon’tlearntoadapt.

TheoldestmanalivejustdiedwhileIhavebeenwriting thisbook.Hewasonehundredandfourteenyearsold,and oneofthetipshegaveforlongevitywasthis:“Embrace change,evenwhenitslapsyouintheface.”Wedon’tinviteall thechangesinlifethatcomeourway,andmanyofthemwe mustsimplyembracebecausenotembracingthemwon’tmake themgoaway.UntilIfullyacceptedthefactthatmyfatherwas sexuallyabusivetomeandthattherewasnothingIcoulddo aboutitnow,Iwasfragileandbrokeninspirit.WhenIforgave himandaskedGodtotakethistragedyandmakesomething goodoutofit,notonlydidIbegintohealemotionally, mentally,andspiritually,butIsawGoddoamazingthingswith whathadbeenintendedbySatantodestroyme.

Abusewouldnothavebeenmyplanformylife,butitwas whatIgot,andwhenIembracedit,Godbegantouseitformy goodandthegoodofotherswhohadalsobeenhurt.Jesus didn’tlikethethoughtofdyingonthecross,butwhenHe knewitwaswhatHehadtodo,HeembraceditandtrustedHis heavenlyFather.Hewasn’tonthecross,strugglingtogetoff. BecauseHedidembraceit,oursinsareforgivenandwehave anintimaterelationshipwithHim.Don’tletyour

disappointmentsinlifebecomeaplaceforyoutostumbleover andneverrecoverfrom.Embracethemandletthembringyou closertoGod.Letthemmakeyoubetter,notbitter!

CanYouReallyChangeIt?

Whenyouhaveacircumstancethatwasn’tpartofyourplan, orthatyoudidn’tinviteintoyourlife,askyourselfifyoucan changeit.Ifyoucan’t,thenembraceit,dealwithit,andgoon. Forthemanyyearsmyfatherabusedme,Ioftenlookedata littleplaquethathunginmygrandmother’skitchen.Itread, “Lord,helpmechangethethingsIcan,acceptthethingsI cannotchange,andthewisdomtoknowthedifference.”Idrew strengthfromthatlittleplaqueformanyyearsasIwaswaiting togetoldenoughtoleavehomeandgetawayfrommyfather.I thinkthesayingonthatplaqueisvaluabletousinmany situations.

LetmetellyouastoryofhowIlearnedto“gowiththe flow”inlife.

Whenmychildrenwereveryyoung,wealwayshad dinnertogethereverynightasafamily.Iwasastay-at-home mombackthen,andIspenthourscookingdinnermostnights. Iwouldliketosaythatthosetimeswerelovelyfamilytimes, butquiteoftentheywereruined.Whatwastheproblem?Well, backthenIwouldhavetoldyouitwas“spilledmilk,”butnowI knowitwasmyangerandinabilitytoadjustandadapttoany circumstancethatwasunpleasant.

Itseemedtomethatalmosteverytimewesatdowntoa meal,somebodywouldspillaglassofsomething,andoftenit wasmilk.Wheneverthathappened,Iwouldimmediatelyget

upset,andwordswouldstartpouringoutofmymouth.“I don’tbelievethis!Lookatwhatyoudid!Ispentallafternoon cookingthismealandallIwantedtodowassitinpeaceand eatit,butyouruinedit!”Bythen,whoeverIwasyellingatwas crying,andthatseemedtomakemeevenangrier.Ifinally realizedthatitwasn’toneofmychildrenruiningthedinner, anditwasn’tthespilledmilk,butitwasmeandmyattitudethat hadruinedit!

Inthosedays,wehadbigmealswithlotsofdishesand utensilsalloverthetable.Whenthemilkspilled,itwould invariablystartrunningunderallthosedishesandhead straightforthecrackinthetablewherewecouldexpandit.In fact,Ifinallydecidedthatthedevildesignedtableswithcracks inthemjusttodrivemecrazy.NowIthinkitwasGodWho designedthem(atleastmine)fortheexpresspurposeof helpingmeseehowfoolishlyIbehaved.

OneofthereasonsIgotintosuchapanicwhenthemilk wasspilledwasbecauseIknewthatifIdidn’tgetitcleanedup beforeitreachedthecrack,itwouldseepintoitandrundown thelegsofthetableandgetonthefloor.Backthenwehad carpetonthekitchenfloorasmanyotherpeopledid,andI didn’twantmilktogetintoitandsour.Yes,wehadcarpeton thekitchenfloor!Iamsurethatsoundsbizarrenow,butitwas acarpetthatwasmadeforkitchens.

Ifyouhaveeverhadakitchentablewithacrackinit,you knowthatfoodcrumbsgetintothecrackovertime.Unlessyou regularlyopenupthetableandcleanthemout,itcanget messy.Addmilktothemixandyouhavenochoicebuttotake thetableapartandheadintoamajorcleaningjob.

OntheoccasionswhenIcouldn’twipeupthemilkbefore

itgottothecrack,Ibecameextraangry.Nowimaginethe scene!I’munderthetableyellingwhiletryingtocleanupthe messwitharag,mychildrenarecrying,Daveisprobably wishinghehadstayedatwork,andinthemidstofthis,God speaks!Isuddenlyrealized,“Joyce,nomatterhowmuchyou yell,thismilkwillnotrunbackupthetablelegs,acrossthe table,andintotheglassagain,soyoumightaswelllearnto ‘gowiththeflow.’”

“Gowiththeflow”becameamajorthemeinmylife.I startedlearninghowtoadaptandadjustmyselfinsteadof tryingtoforceeverythingandeveryonetoadjusttome.It becameaprimarythemewhenIstartedteachingGod’sWord andhasactuallyhelpedthousandsofothersseethe importanceofnottryingtochangesomethingthattheycould notchange.

Youmightbethinking,“Joyce,IwishallIweredealing withrightnowwasspilledmilk.”Iknowtheexampleissimple, buttheprincipleisthesamenomatterwhatwearedealing with.Ifwecandosomethingaboutit,thendoit,andifnot, embraceitandletGodshowHimselfstrong.

Whendisappointingthingshappentomenow,Ioften say,“Youlose,Devil;Iamstayingpeaceful.”Thedevilsetsus uptogetusupset,butwecanlearntorecognizewhenheisat workandremaincalminthestorm.Ifwedon’tletthingsmake usangry,thenwewon’tspeakthoseangrywordsthatgrieve theHolySpirit.

Fasting Your Words

Whenwespeakoffasting,weareusuallytalkingabout abstainingfromfoodforaperiodoftimeinordertocleansethe bodyoftoxins,orforthespiritualpurposeofmorededicated, powerfulprayerandbecomingclosertoGod.Butthereare thingswemaybeledtoabstainfromotherthanfood.

Ihavealotmoretroublewithwhatcomesoutofmy mouththanwhatgoesintoit.Iamverydisciplinedinmyeating habits,notbecauseIamsoamazinglydisciplined,butforthe simplereasonthatIwantmyclothestofitme.

IamalsoawarethatifIgainweight,abouttwo-thirdsof theworldthatcanwatchmytelevisionprogramwillknowit!I stillwanttolookasgoodasIcanforaslongasIcan.ItellGod thatitisallforHisgloryandIsincerelypraythatitis.

GodspokethroughtheprophetIsaiahandtoldhimthat whilepeoplewerefastingtheirfood,theywereinstrife, mistreatingworkmen,nothelpingthepoorandneedy,pointing thefingerinscornatotherpeople,andengagingineveryform offalse,harsh,unjust,andwickedspeaking(seeIsaiah58:1–9).

Isaiah58hashadaprofoundeffectonmylife.Itcaused metorealizethatIhadmanywaysthatwerenotpleasingto God,andthatthereweremanythingsIneededto“fast”(do without)inmylife.

Ihadfastedandlearnedhowtomissafewmealsand discoveredthatIwouldn’tdiefromhunger,butIstillhad thingsinmylifethatwerenotpleasingtoGod.Iwasselfish

andself-centered,althoughIwasinministryandpreachingthe Gospel.Iwasn’tdoingnearlyasmuchforthepoorasGod wantedmeto,andwestillhadalotofstrifebehindclosed doorsathome.Ihadyokesofbondageinmyownlifethat neededtobedealtwith,butIwassuccessfullyignoringthem bytryingtohelpotherpeopledealwiththeirbondages.Do youknowthatweareabletohidefromGodingoodworks?

Wecanstaysobusygoingtochurch,sacrificingtimein servingoncommittees,anddoinggooddeedsthatwehaveno timetolistentowhatGodistryingtosaytouspersonally.God alwayshas,andalwayswilldesireobedienceratherthan sacrifice(see1Samuel15:22).

Regardingfastingfood,IdobelievethetimesthatGodled metofastmyfoodwereveryimportantinhelpingmebeginto seethedeeperissuesIneededtodealwith,andIrecommend fastingforperiodsoftimeasGodleadsandinstructs.We probablyneedtobeabletocontrolwhatgoesintoourmouth beforewecanhopetocontrolwhatcomesoutofit.

PeoplewereaccustomedtofastingalotinJesus’day.It waspartoftheirreligiousritual,butJesustoldthemwhatwas intheirheartandcameoutoftheirmouthwasmuchmore revealingandimportant:

Doyounotseeandunderstandthatwhatevergoes intothemouthpassesintotheabdomenandso passesonintotheplacewheredischargesare deposited?

Butwhatevercomesoutofthemouthcomesfrom theheart,andthisiswhatmakesamanuncleanand defiles[him].

Foroutoftheheartcomeevilthoughts(reasonings anddisputingsanddesigns)suchasmurder,adultery, sexualvice,theft,falsewitnessing,slander,and irreverentspeech.

Thesearewhatmakeamanuncleananddefile[him]. Matthew 15:17–20a

ItisasifJesusissaying,youeatandyougotothe bathroomanditisgone,butthethingsthatcomeofthemouth areissuesstuckinyourheartandtheyaremuchmore importantthaneatingfood.Whatwouldhappenifwespentas muchtimeponderingandplanningforwhatcomesoutofthe mouth(words)aswedoforwhatgoesintoit(ourfood)?I personallythinkalotaboutwhatIamgoingtoeat.Onany givendayIcantellyouby10a.m.orsoonerwhatIwilleatthat dayandmaybethenext.WhatIeatisimportanttome.Iplan forit,Ipaymoneyforit,Imakeaneventoutofit,andIamvery disappointedifIgetabadmeal.

IthinkIamfinallystartingtospendequaltimepreparing forwhatcomesoutofmymouth,butithastakenyearstoget here.

DuringthoseyearswhenIwasjustbeingwhatInowcall “religious,”Iattendedprayermeetings,buthonestlyalotof myprayerswerenotbeinganswered.Wasitthedevil’sfaultor mine?Isaiah58teachesusthattherearesomespecificthings weneedtoexamineifourprayersarenotbeinganswered.

Thenyoushallcall,andtheLordwillanswer:You shallcry,andHewillsay,HereIam.Ifyoutakeaway fromyourmidstyokesofoppression[whereveryou

findthem],thefingerpointedinscorn[towardthe oppressedorthegodly],andeveryformoffalse, harsh,unjust,andwickedspeaking.Isaiah 58:9

Thisscripturedoesn’tneedalotofdeeptheological discernment.Itsayswhatitmeansandmeanswhatitsays.IfI wantmyprayerstobequicklyanswered,Ineedtotreatpeople reallywell,neverjudgethemcritically,andlearnhowtotalk properlybyremovingfalse,harsh,unjust,andwicked speaking.Ouch!Ouch!Ouch!Doesanyoneelsebesidesme feellikeyoujustgotcaughtwithyourhandinthecookiejar, andgotitslapped?Doyouneedtosaywithme,“God,Iam guilty,pleaseforgivemeandteachmetoobeythisscripture”?

Thelastlineofverse13saysthatwemuststopspeaking withourownidlewords.Thatmeansweneedtolearntofast ourwords.Don’tsaywordssoquicklythatwrongonescome outwithoutthinkingoftheweightofthem,butlearnto“fast” words.

Ihavebeentryingforthreeyearstosuccessfullycompletea “wordfast.”Tome,itmeansthatwhenthescripturehas instructedmenottotalkinacertainway,Iwilldomybestto refrainfromdoingso,andwhenIfail,Iwillimmediatelyrepent, askGodforforgiveness,andseektodobetterinthefuture.It alsomeansthatwhenIamtalkingorthinkingabouttalkingand theHolySpiritwhispers,“Don’tsaythat,”Istopimmediately andrethinkwhatIshouldsay,ifanything.

IwouldlovetobeabletotellyouthatIhavehadgreat

“Don’tSayThat”

success,butthetruthisthatIhaven’t.IhaveimprovedandI amtryingtocelebratemysuccessessinceIdidwriteabookon that,too(Eat the

Cookie,Buy the Shoes

),butIhavesofarto gothatitmakesmesadsometimes.IamremindedthattheBible saysthatnomancantamethetongue,andbelieveme,Iam leaningheavilyonGod.IknowthatIcan’tdoitonmyown, butIcannotgiveup.ThisisoneareawhereIfeelthatImust keeppressingonwarduntilIhavevictory.Iamalsoawarethat sinceIamdaringtowriteabookonthepowerofwords,trying toteachotherpeopletobecarefulwhattheysay,Imaybe temptedbytheenemyasneverbefore.Whydon’tyoustop rightnowandprayforyourselfandforme,thatwewillbothbe abletoresisttemptationandsayonlywhatGodwouldsay whenwetalk.

OvertheyearsIhaveimproveddramaticallyinwhatIsay anddon’tsay,butforme,thisisanareawhere“doingokay”is notgoodenough.IfeelcompelledbyGodtomakethisa lifetimequestifIneedto.Inotherwords,Ihavedeterminedin myheartthatifittakesuntilIdie,Iwantallmywordstobe pleasingtoGod.EventhenIprobablywillnothavearrivedat perfectioninthisarea,butatleastIwilldietrying!

SometimesIamsobusytalkingthatIjustplaindon’thear theHolySpirit’swhispers.ButatothertimesIdohearandI wanttosaywhatIamsayingsostronglythatIjustkeep talking.God’schastisementformeinthisareaisgetting stronger,andIamgladofit,becauseitisobvioustomethatI needHimtokeepshowingmehowseriousthisis.

Areyouwillingtostoptalkingandreconsiderwhatyou aresaying(orabouttosay)anytimetheHolySpiritwhispers, “Don’tsaythat”?Icantellyouthatdoingitisnotaseasyas

sayingthatyouwilldoit.Itseemstomesometimesthatmy mouthislikeawildanimalthatgetslooseandstartsrunning aroundandtearingthingsup,anditishardtostopit.Oritis likeoneofthosewinduptalkingtoysthat,onceyouwinditup, won’tstopuntilitwindsdown.TheyaremostirritatingandI usuallycannotwaituntiltheyshutup.Itmakesmewonderif peoplesometimesfeelthesamewayaboutme.

Iprayyouwillmakethecommitmenttofastyourwords, butIwantyoutoknowthatitmaybealifetimequest.Ibelieve thatGodwillseeourheartandperhapsitwillmakeHimsmile justknowingthatwewanttoneversinwithourmouths.

StudytoStayStrong

Ihaveacollectionofbooksonthepowerofwords,andIalso havemostofthescripturesintheBibleonthesubject highlighted.ManyofthemIhavecommittedtomemoryand othersIhavewritteninjournals.Icouldneverhopetobe successfulincontrollingmytongueifIdidn’tkeepGod’s WordonthesubjectintheforefrontofwhatIstudy.Weare instructedinGod’sWordtostudytoshowourselves approved,aworkmanthatneednotbeashamed.Ifwedon’t study,wemayevenbeguiltyoftellingotherswhattodoand thennotdoingitourselves.Howoftenhavewesaidtooneof ourchildrenorafriend,“Youshouldn’tsaythat,”or“You shouldn’ttalklikethat,”andifthetruthbetold,wesayeven worsethingsourselves?Wecanreadascriptureonceand knowwhatweshoulddo,butwemuststudydiligentlyinorder fortheinformationtobecomearevelationthatwillchangeour behavior.

Millionsofpeoplearoundtheworldgotochurch regularlyandhearsermons,buthowmanydiligentlystudy God’sWordthemselves?Iwasoneofthosepeoplewho attendedchurchforaboutthirteenyearsbeforeIstarted studyingdiligently.ImightaddthatduringalltheyearsIonly attendedchurch,mybehaviordidn’tchangemuchforthe better.ButafterIbegantostudy,Iexperiencedmanygood changes.TheapostlePaultoldtheCorinthiansthatifthey continuedtostudytheWordofGod,theywouldbechanged intotheimageofJesusChrist(see2Corinthians3:18).Please taketimetoponderthesenexttwoversesofscripture:

Studyandbeeageranddoyourutmosttopresent yourselftoGodapproved(testedbytrial),aworkman whohasnocausetobeashamed,correctlyanalyzing andaccuratelydividing[rightlyhandlingandskillfully teaching]theWordofTruth.

Butavoidallempty(vain,useless,idle)talk,forit willleadpeopleintomoreandmoreungodliness.2

Timothy 2:15–16

ItisinterestingthatstudyingtheWordofTruthand avoidingidle,uselesstalkarelinkedtogetherinthesetwo versesofscripture.Themorewestudy,themorelikelyweare todowhatGodcommandsustodo.

MyMouthandMyMinistry

TheministrythatGodhascalledmetoisteachingand preachingHisWord,soIusemymouthallthetime.Ioften

say,“IamamouthinthebodyofChrist.”Ifyouareahelper, youcouldsayyou’reahandinChrist’sbody,etcetera.Idon’t thinkIcanexpecttospeakwordsofpowerinthepulpitifIam goingtospeakharsh,unjust,idle,anduselesswordstherest ofthetime.Ican’tcomplainaboutmyministryandallthework Ihavetodoandexpectmyministrytobesuccessfuland powerful.Ican’tgossip,tellotherpeople’ssecrets,andfind faultwitheveryoneandthenexpectmymessagesonloveto haveapositiveimpactonpeople.

Ihaveseensomereallymeanpreacherswhocriticize everyonewhoisn’texactlyliketheyare,andIalsohavebeen onthereceivingendofsomeofthemostcritical,mean-spirited Christiansonecouldpossiblyimagine,andIdon’twanttobe likethem.Ontheotherhand,Ihavebeenwithsomeofthe mostbeautiful-spiritedpeopleintheworld peoplewho genuinelyloveothersandneverhaveabadwordtosayabout anybody.Idowanttobelikethem!

Iencourageyoutospendtimewithpeoplewhomyou trulywanttobelike.Choosepeoplewhowillmakeyouwantto improve,notonesthatmakeyousmall-mindedandbigmouthed.Spendtimewithpeoplewhousetheirwordswisely, anditwillencourageyoutodothesamething.

TheprophetIsaiah’smouthhadtobecleansedbeforehe couldbereleasedintothecallofGodonhislife.Hewasinthe presenceofGodandrealizedhehaduncleanlipsanddweltin themidstofapeopleofuncleanlips.HequicklyaskedGodto cleansehislips,andonlyafterthatwasdonedidGodrelease himtogoandprophesyHismessagetoothers(seeIsaiah6:1–9).AnyonewhowantstobeusedbyGodinanykindof ministrywillneedtolearnhowtodisciplinethewordsshe

speaks.Shewillneedtolearnhowto“fastherwords.”

Jesussaid,“Mywordsarespiritandtheyarelife.”His wordswereall-powerful.WhenJesusspoke,peoplewere astonished,forHespokeasonewithauthority.Hecommanded demonsandtheyhadtoobey;Hespokehealingandit manifested.Jesusdidn’tspeakamixtureofgoodandevil.He wascarefulaboutHiswords.TheBibleteachesusthatthe AntichristwillbeslainwiththebreathofJesus’mouth(see2 Thessalonians2:8).

Alistofqualificationsforspiritualleadersisfoundin1 Timothy1:1–13,andwefindtherethataleadermustnotbea slandereroradouble-talker,butmustbesincereineverything heorshesays.Thelistalsomentionsthatwomenmustnotbe gossipers,buttemperateandself-controlled.Tobeinspiritual leadership,weneedmorethanagift;wemustalsohavea godlycharacterthathasbeenprovenandtried.Ourministry (andweallhaveaministryifwearebelievers)and effectivenessdohavealottodowithourmouthssolet’s begintotakewhatwesaymoreseriouslythaneverbefore.

Don’tGotoExtremes

Inmyquestnottotalktoomuchandneversaywrongthings,I havegottenoutofbalanceattimes.IfSatancannotgetusto ignoreacommandmentofGod,thenhefrequentlyworkstoget ustobeextreme.Forexample,weshouldgotochurchandpray andstudyGod’sWord,butIhaveknownwomenwhospent toomuchtimedoingthosethingsandignoredtheirfamilies.

Theybecamesospiritualtheywerenoearthlygood,andtheir excessmadetheirunsavedhusbandswantnothingtodowith

churchorGod.

Iamatalker,andsomeofyouare,too.Ourpersonalities aregearedtowardverbalizing.Myhusband,ontheotherhand, isnotabigtalker.Hetalksplenty,butrarelytalkstoomuch.In mydesireto“fastmywords,”Ibecameexcessivelyquietandit hadanadverseeffectonmeemotionally.Goddoesn’twantus nottotalk,butHedoeswantustosayrightthings.Hewants ourwordstobebeneficialtoHim,ourselves,andotherpeople. Fastingourwordsdoesn’tmeanthatwedon’ttalk,butit meansthatwechooseverycarefullywhatwewillandwon’t say.Fastingmeansthatwearewillingtoavoidorgive somethingupthatwenormallywoulddo.Asanexample,Iam tryingtoavoidinterruptingotherswhentheyaretalking.

Peoplewhotalkalotareusuallymoreinterestedinwhatthey aresayingthantheyareinlisteningtowhatothersaresaying, andIwanttoberespectfultoallpeople.SoIamfasting interrupting!

Arethereareaswhereyoumightbeabletofastyour wordsandlearntousemoreself-control?Somefastinglasts forashorttimeonly;otherslastlonger.Ihavefastedina varietyofwaysfor40days,28days,10days,7days,3days,1 day,andevenonemealinyearspast.ButIthinkthatfasting mywordswillbealifetimefast.Ifyouareboldand courageous,whynotjoinmeandwewillfasttogether!

Speak No Evil

Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence.

Spanishproverb

Isitpossibletoneversayanythingifwedon’tsaysomething positive?Admittedly,therearethingswemustdiscussthat don’tcomeunderthecategoryof“positive,”butwecanlearn totalkinapositivewayaboutthingsthatarenegative.Wecan learntofindthegoodineverythingandineverybody.Ifwe makeacommitmenttolookforthegood,itisalwaysthere somewhere.

Lovebearsupunderanythingandeverythingthat comes,iseverreadytobelievethebestofevery person,itshopesarefadelessunderallcircumstances, anditendureseverything[withoutweakening].1 Corinthians 13:7

Positivepeoplewhothinkpositivethoughtsandspeak positivewordshaveamuchmoreenjoyablelifethanthose whodon’t.Whyarewesoinclinedtotalkaboutnegative things,orwhatGodcalls“evilthings”?Itissimplybecause humanbeingsnotcontrolledandguidedbyGod’sSpiritwill alwaysdrifttothenegativesideofthinking.Oddlyenough,we don’thavetotrytobenegativeordowhatiswrong,butwedo havetomakeanefforttodowhatisright.Especiallyuntilwe

formnewhabits.Idon’thavetotrynearlyashardnowtofind thegoodinthingsasIoncedid,butIstillhavetoexercise disciplineinthisarea,especiallywhensomethinghappensthat reallyhurtsme.

IwasunawarethatIwasanegative-thinkingandspeakingpersonuntilGodrevealedittome.Iwasraisedina verynegativeatmosphere;andtherefore,beingnegative seemednormaltome.Myfatheractuallysaidtomemany times,“Youcan’ttrustanybody,everybodyisouttoget something.”Igrewupbeingsuspiciousandjustwatchingfor whatwaswrongwithpeopleandlifeingeneral.Imightadd thatdoingsodidnotincreasemyjoy.

AsIbegantostudyGod’sWord,Irealizedthat somethingwaswrong.Ialmostalwayssensedathreatening feelingaroundme,afeelingofoppression,suggestingthat somethingbadwasgoingtohappen.Iwasaccustomedto beingdisappointedandhavingbadthingshappen,soIgrew toexpectnothingelse.Goddoesn’twantustodothat,but insteadHewantsustoaggressivelylookforandexpectgood things.Hisplanforusisagoodplan,andwemustagreewith HimifwewanttohaveHiswillmanifestedinourlives.

GodtaughtmethroughHisWordthatIhadwhatthe Biblecalls“evilforebodings.”

Allthedaysofthedespondingandafflictedaremade evil[byanxiousthoughtsandforebodings],buthe whohasagladhearthasacontinualfeast[regardless ofcircumstances].

Proverbs 15:15

Doyouperhapshaveacaseof“evilforebodings,”ordo

youknowsomeonewhodoes?Itisaterriblethingtoendure becauseeverythinginlifeseemsdarkanddreary.Aperson withevilforebodingsalwaysexpectstheworst.Thenightthat Daveaskedmetomarryhim,hetoldmehewantedtotalktome aboutsomethingseriousandIimmediatelythoughthewas goingtotellmehedidn’twanttodatemeanylonger.Inthose days,thatwasjustthewaymymindworked.AfterDaveandI hadbeenmarriedaboutthreeweeks,helookedatmeoneday andsaid,“Whatiswrongwithyou?Whyareyousonegative abouteverything?”Ianswered,“Ifyoudon’texpectanything goodtohappen,thenyouwon’tbedisappointedwhenit doesn’t.”Asyoucansee,Ihadaseriousproblem,andDave, whowasverypositiveabouteverything,endedupbeinga greatexampleforme.

IwasthrilledwhenIrealizedthatGodwantedmetorenew mythinkingandstartexpectinggoodthings.Surelywewould allprefergoodthingsmorethanbadones.Evenifyouhave hadasadpast,youcanhaveabrightfuturebylearninghowto agreementallyandverballywithGod.Thechangeinmetooka longtime,andmanytimesIfeltasifIwasmakingnoprogress atall,butasIcontinuedstudyingandpurposelylookingfor thegoodineverythingandeveryone,Ichanged.NowI actuallycannotendurebeingnegativeorbeingaroundanyone negativeforverylong.Iwantyoutobeassuredthatnegative thoughtsandwordscanbeexchangedforpositiveones.The morepositiveweare,themoreweenjoyourlivesandthe peopleinit.Peoplealsoenjoyusmorewhenwethinkand speaknoevil.Moregoodthingswillhappentopeoplewho expectthemthantothosewhodon’t.

Itcontinuestoamazemehowfastbadnewstravels.Something badcanhappeninministrycirclesallthewayontheotherside oftheworldandwithintwenty-fourhourseveryoneknows aboutit.Atleasttheyknowsomeversionofit.Oneofthe worstthingsaboutspreadingbadnewsisthatpeoplekeep addingtoitandchangingthecontextofwhatoriginally happeneduntileventuallythestoriesbeingtoldarenotthe truthatall.Thisisoneofthereasonswhyweneedtobevery carefulaboutbelievingeverythingwehear.God’sWord teachesusnottobelieveanaccusationagainstanyoneunless wehaveconfirmationfromseveralpeople.Wearetooquickto givebadreportsandoftentooquicktobelievethem.

Irealizethatwehavealotofunpleasantsituationsinour societytoday,butIstillbelievethereismoregoodthanbad. Theproblemisthatwedon’thearaboutthegoodasmuchas wedothebad.Themediaconsistentlyreportsbadnewsand evensensationalizesit,anditsoundsworsethanitactuallyis. IknowfirsthandbecauseIhavebeenthesubjectoftheir reportingattimes,andIcanassureyouthatwhatwasreported wasfarfromthetruth.Theworldwouldbeabetterplaceifour firstresponsetounfoundedrumorsandgossipwouldbe,“I don’tbelievethat.”Sometimeswhatwehearendsupbeing true,butitshouldbeproventousbeforewejumponboard withalltheotherpeoplewhoarespreadingbadnews.

HowManyNegativePeopleAreintheWorld?

Sadly,Ithinktherearemorenegativepeopleintheworldthan

thosewhoarecommittedtofindingthegoodineveryoneand everything,butitcanchange,beginningwithyouandme. PeoplewholoveGodmustfightforwhatisrightandgood, becauseifwedon’t,nobodyelsewill.Whengodlypeopledo nothing,evilincreases.Weshouldstarta“believingthebest” club.Eveniftheclubconsistsonlyofyourclosestfamily members,justthinkwhatadifferenceitcouldmakein everyone’sattitudeathome.Ourmindandmouthwillbe temptedtodrifttowardthenegative,butourfreewillisthebig boss.Whenwebeginusingourwilltotakeauthorityoverall negativity,itwillleave!

Itisn’tenoughtomerely“wish”thatsomeonecould becomeamorepositiveperson.Iknow,becauseItrieditand nothinghappened.Ithoughtitwasjustmynaturetobemore suspicious,soI“wished”Ihadadifferentnature.Ihadtogive upthatexcusewhenIlearnedfromscripturethatGodgivesus anewnaturewhenwereceiveJesusasourSavior(see2 Corinthians5:17).Ididhaveanewnatureandsodoyouifyou areatruebelieverinJesusChrist.IwishedIhadapersonality likeDave’s,butIdidn’tgetapersonalitytransplant.Ihadto workwiththeHolySpiritandallowHimtochangethenegative traitsinme.Allchangebeginsbyfacingtruthandnotmaking anyexcusesforwrongbehavior.TherawtruthwasthatIhada negativeattitude,andchangingitwashardwork,butit definitelywasworthitintheend.

Isaidthatwe“drift”towardthenegativeifwedon’tuse disciplineandself-control.Everythinginwaterwilldrift downstreamifthereisnothingpropellingitupstream.Don’t justdriftintothenegativepartsoflife,butinsteadpush againstthemandfindthegoodineverything.

MosessenttwelvemenintothelandofCanaanasspies toseeifitwasactuallyasgoodasGodhadtoldthemitwould be.Whentheyreturnedfromsearchingouttheland,tenmen gaveanegative(evil)report.Theysaidthefruitwasgood,but thereweregiantsinthelandandtheyweremightierthanthe Israelites.Onlytwomen,JoshuaandCaleb,gaveagood report.Theysaid,“Weshouldnotdelayintakingthelandfor weareabletodoit.”Thetennegativemensawonlywhatwas wrong.Admittedlythereweregiantsandtheywereterrifying, butthetwopositivemensawGodasbiggerthananyofthe adversecircumstances.Theylookedforwhatwasgood!They gaveagoodreporteventhoughtherewerebadthingsthey couldhavesaid.Theyfocusedonthegood,andGodsaidthat theyhadadifferentspiritthantherestofthepeople(see Numbers13:27–33).TheirpositivespiritwasonethatHe approvedof,andtheyweregiventheprivilegeofgoinginto thelandthatGodhadpromised.

ManyofthechildrenofIsraelcouldnotenterthegood land,becausetheyrefusedtoseeanythinggood.Truthfully, mostofthepeopleneverenteredintowhatGodhadprepared forthem.Ifwelookatthesetwelvespiesasanexample,thenit lookslikemorepeoplearenegativeratherthanpositive.Butno matterhowmanynegativepeopletherearearoundus,ifwe persistinbeingpositive,wewillenjoythegoodlifeGodwants ustohave.Whenwemagnifysomething,wemakeitlarger,so whynotstartmagnifyingthegoodthingsinlifeandhelpthem standoutaboveevilthings.Talkaboutthegoodinlife,give thegoodreportastheBibleteachesustodo,thinkaboutgood things,andbegoodtootherpeople.

StartatHome

Beginwithyourselfandmakealistofallyourgoodqualities.I knowitmaybehardforsomeofyou,butyouneedtobegin seeingthegoodtraitsthatyouhaveandnotjustthebadones. Satanremindsallofusdailywhatiswrongwithus,butwecan remindhimwhatisrightwithusifweareboldenoughtodoso.

Thatthecommunicationofthyfaithmaybecome effectualbytheacknowledgingofeverygoodthing whichisinyouinChristJesus.Philemon 1:6 KJV

Accordingtothisscripture,weshouldacknowledgethe goodthingsinus.Whenwedo,itwillgiveusconfidencetodo andbeallthatGoddesires.

Thethoughtsandattitudesthatwehavearethe foundationforallthatcomesfromus.Ifwehaveanegative attitude,itisusuallyrootedinnegativethoughtsabout ourselves.Startbyhavingarightandgodlyattitudetoward yourselfandworkoutfromthere.Godworksfromtheinside out,notfromtheoutsidein.ForyearsImistakenlythought thatifmycircumstanceswerebetter,myattitudewouldbe better.Ithoughttheoutsidecouldchangetheinside,butGod worksintheoppositeway.Hegivesusanewnatureandanew heart,HeputsHisSpiritinus,andHedesiresthatwework withHisHolySpirituntilwhatHehasputinusbyHisgraceis workedoutofusandintoeveryfacetofourlives.

Workout(cultivate,carryouttothegoal,andfully complete)yourownsalvationwithreverenceandawe

andtrembling(self-distrust,withseriouscaution, tendernessofconscience,watchfulnessagainst temptation,timidlyshrinkingfromwhatevermight offendGodanddiscreditthenameofChrist).

[Notinyourownstrength]foritisGodWhoisall thewhileeffectuallyatworkinyou.Philippians 2:12–

God’sSpiritisinus,andHisSpiritisdefinitelypositive. WemustletHisSpiritdoathoroughworkinus,changingour thoughtsandattitudestowardourselvesandworkingfromthat foundationoutwarduntilwecanseeallthingsandpeoplethe wayGodseesthem.Evenwhenwearedoingourworst,God believesthebestinregardtousandHeworkswithustobring thebestoutofus.

Wecanstartbythinkingandsaying,“Godlovesme unconditionally.HehasgivenmeHisSpirit,andputanew heartandattitudeinme.Everythinginmyspiritisgoodand positiveandfulloffaith,andIwillnotallowthethingsthatgo onaroundmetodictatemyattitude.”Anytimewedoanything thatissinful,weshouldimmediatelyaskGodtoforgiveusand goinanewdirection.Weshouldnotignorethewrongthings thatwedo,butweshouldseeandcelebratewhatwedothatis right

Perhapsyougotyourfeelingshurtyesterday,butyou quicklymadethedecisionnottobeoffendedandletitgo.That isagoodthing!Maybeyouhadplansforyourday,buta friendneededhelpandyouchangedyourplanstohelpyour friend.Thatisagoodthing!IfyouspenttimewithGodthis morninginprayerandfellowshipandyoustudiedHisWord,

thenthatisagoodthing!Iamsuretherearemanygoodthings inyouandyoushouldbegintorecognizethem.

Themorepositiveyouareaboutyourself,themore positiveyouwillbeaboutotherpeopleandyour circumstances.Believethebestofyourselfandallthepeople thatyoudealwith.

Speak Faith,Not Fear

Be careful ofyour thoughts;they may become words at any moment.

IraGassen

TheWordofGodteachesustoholdfastourconfessionof faithinJesusChrist(seeHebrews4:14).Thatmeansthatno matterwhatoursituationinlifefeelsorlookslike,weshould continuetospeakfaith,notfear.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatwe denyourcircumstances,butwedodenythemtherighttorule overus.

Ifwebelievethatwordshavepower,thenwecaneasily understandwhyitisveryimportantforustomaintaina confessionoffaithinJesusChristinallcircumstances.When JesusstoodinfrontofthetombofLazarus,intendingtoraise himfromdeath,Marthaspokeoutofherfears.Shesaid,“But Lord,bythistimehe[isdecayingand]throwsoffanoffensive odor,forhehasbeendeadfourdays!”(John11:39).Jesus respondedbysaying,“DidInottellyouandpromiseyouthat ifyouwouldbelieveandrelyonMe,youwouldseetheglory ofGod”(John11:40).

IrelyonthatscripturewhenIdon’tunderstandanything thatisgoingonaroundme.Evenwhenmycircumstancesin lifearesopainfultheyseemunbearable,Itrytorememberto say,“IbelieveandIwillseethegloryofGod.”

Theword glory meansthe“manifestationofGod’s

excellence.”SeeingthegloryofGoddoesnotnecessarilymean thatwegetthingsthewaywewantthemallthetime.Butit doesmeanthatwecantrustGodforHisbestinevery situation.Itmaynotseembesttousatthetime,butweshould trustGodthatHisplanisbetterthanours.Wewouldliketo understandeverythingthatGoddoes,buttrustingGodmeans thatwewillalwayshavesomeunansweredquestions,andwe mustacceptthat.Wedon’thavetounderstandallofGod’s waystosay,“IbelieveGod,andIwillseeHisglory.”

FearComes

Fearcomestoeveryperson.Itseemstobethefirstemotionwe feelwhenthingsinourlivesgetbeyondourcontrol.Whenthe surroundingarmiescameagainstJehoshaphat,hefeared(see2 Chronicles20:3).Butthenheprayed.Resistthedevilathis onset don’tallowfeartogetembeddedinyourthinkingand startcomingoutofyourmouth.

Jehoshaphatfeltfear,buthespokefaith,andwecando thesamething.IntheGardenofGethsemane,Jesusfeltsuch intenseagonythatHesweateddropsofbloodandHeasked that,ifpossible,Godwouldremovethecupofsufferingfrom Him,andyetHewascrucifiedforoursins.WhenHehung uponthecrossinunbelievableagony,feelingthecrushing weightofthesinsoftheworlduponHim,andfeelingthatHis FatherhadforsakenHim,Hedidn’tsay,“Iamsoafraidofwhat willhappentoMe.”Hestillprayedinfaithandsaid,“Father, intoyourhandsdoIcommitmySpirit.”HeheldfastHis confessionoffaith,andwecandothesamething.

In1989,Iwenttothedoctorforaregularcheckup.Within

afewdaysIwastoldthatIhadbreastcancerontherightside andradicalsurgerywasindicatedowingtothetypeofcancerit was.Icantellyouforsurethat“fearcame.”Fearwasthefirst emotionthatIfelt,anditwassooverwhelmingattimesthatI actuallyfeltthatmykneeswouldbuckleunderneathme.The HolySpiritwhisperedinmyheartthatitwasimportantforme tospeakfaithandnotfear.IhadalotoftimetopracticewhileI waitedforsurgeryandthenforreportstocomebacklettingme knowifthecancerwassuccessfullyeradicated.Satantriesto takeadvantageofourtimesofwaiting,andhebombardsour mindswithfearfulthoughts.Idon’thaveanysecrettotellyou thatwillkeepthefearfulthoughtsfromcoming,butIdoknow thatyoudon’thavetoreceivethemasyourown,andspeak themoutofyourmouth.Yourmouthandyourwordsbelongto you,andyoucanalwayschoosetospeakwhatwillpleaseGod andbenefityou.

TheapostleMatthewwrote,“Donotworryandbe anxious,saying,Whatarewegoingtohavetoeat?or,What arewegoingtohavetodrink?or,Whatarewegoingtohave towear?”(Matthew6:31).Noticethattheworrycomesfirstand thenthesaying.Itisthesamewithfear firstthethoughtsand thenthewords.IwouldliketosuggestsomethingtoyouthatI trytopracticemyself.Assoonasafearfulthoughtentersmy mind,IspeakoutloudifIaminanappropriateplace,saying,“I willnotfear,ItrustGod.”OrIsay,“IbelieveGodandIwillsee Hisglory.”IfIcannotspeakoutloud,Icombattheevil thoughtbythinkingfaiththoughts.IfIhavesomethingintense goingoninmycircumstances,therearedayswhenitseems likeIbattleallday,butwemustbewillingtofightthegood fightoffaith.

IdidhavetostandfirmduringtheweeksIwaitedforall theteststocomeback,butthereportswereallgoodandI needednofurthertreatmentatall.Manyyearshavegoneby sincethen,andeachyearIgettestedandamtold,“No cancer!”Thatchallengeisover,butnewonesariseona regularbasis,astheydoforeveryone.

EvenasIwritethisbook,therearethingstakingplace aroundmethatwouldlovetodistractandfrightenme,butIam stillsaying,“IbelieveGodandIwillseeHisglory.”

Ifyouaredealingwithanunpleasantsituationinyourlife rightnow,stopreadingandsayoutloudaboutfivetimes,“I believeGodandIwillseeHisGlory.”

IkeepasignsittinginfrontofmeonatablewhereIpray andstudythatsimplysaysinbigsparklyletters:BELIEVE.It remindsmetocontinuebelievinginGod’spromisesanytime doubtorfeartriestocomein.QuiteoftenIverbalizemyfaith anddeclareitoutloud!InmyofficeallbymyselfIdeclarethat IbelieveGod!

ThepsalmistDavidsaid,“WhattimeIamafraid,Iwill trustinYou,Lord.”Headmittedthathefeltfear,butdeclared thathewouldtrustGodinthemidstofit.Ihaveheardthat thereare365referencesinGod’sWordthatsay“fearnot,”and thatisoneforeverydayoftheyear.“Fearnot”meanstoresist fearanddon’tletitcontrolyouractions.Wecanactinfaith whilewestillfeelfear.TheonlyacceptableattitudethatGod’s childrencaneverhavetowardfearis:“Iwillnotfear.”Ifyoulet fearruleinyourlife,itwillstealyourpeaceandjoyandprevent youfromfulfillingyourdestiny.

TheLordisonmyside;Iwillnotfear.Whatcanman

Ifweenterintofearandbegintospeakit,itisequivalent tohavingfaithinwhatthedevilsaystousorshowsusinour imaginations.Wecansteadfastlyresisthim,butwemustknow theWordofGod,andformahabitofaggressivelytalkingback tothedevil!Whenhesayssomethingtoyou,youshouldsay somethingtohim.Anytimedoubt,worry,orfearcomes, insteadofsaying,“Iamafraid,”or“Iamworried,”or“Idoubt,” say,“IbelieveGodandIwillseeHisglory,”orquoteanother scripturethatyoufeelfitsthesituationyouarein.

Make“Iwillnotfear”adailyconfessioninyourlife.Don’t waituntilyoufeelfear,butconfessdailythatyouareboldand fearless.Bepreparedaheadoftime,anditwillhelpyoubemore thanaconquerorwhenadversesituationsarise.Ibelievewe aremorethanconquerors,asRomans8sayswecanbe,when weknowwewillwinthebattlebeforeiteverbegins.Areyou thatconfidentinGod?Doyoubelieverightnowthatnomatter whatcomesagainstyou,youareassuredofvictorythrough Christ?Irecommendthatyouformahabitofsaying,“Iwillnot fear,”severaltimesaday.Ifyoudo,thenitwillbeoneofthe firstthingsthatcomeoutofyourmouthwhenfeardoescome.

LettheRedeemedoftheLordSaySo!

Whatdoyousayaboutyourselfandyourlife?Ihearpeople saythingsthatmakemewanttocringeattimes,butIonce talkedthesamewaytheydo.Ihearthingslike,“Iamafailure,” “Iamreallyinbondagetofood,”“IwishIwasfreefromfear,” “Iamgoingtogiveup,”or“Myproblemsareoverwhelming.”

Theyaresayingwhattheythinkandhowtheyfeel,butit doesn’tagreewithGod’sWord.

LettheredeemedoftheLordsayso,whomHehas deliveredfromthehandoftheadversary.Psalm107:2

TheBiblesaysthatthosewhobelongtoGodare redeemedandtheyshouldsayso.Weareredeemed!Weare notwaitingtoberedeemedbecauseJesushasalreadypaidthe priceforourredemption.Itisours,andweneedtolearnto agreewithit.Thepersonwhohasaproblemwithfoodshould notsay,“Iaminbondagetofood,”butheshouldsay,“Ihave disciplineandself-control,andIeatwhatisgoodformein quantitiesthatarerightformybody.”Ifhecontinuessaying heisinbondage,hewillcontinuebelievingheis,butifhe agreeswithGodandsaysthatheisfree,hewillact accordingly.Oneshouldneversay,“IwishIwerefreefrom fear,”asifitweresomethingfloatingaroundthatwemight catchifwewishhardenough.Sheshouldsay,“Iwillnotfear,I ambold,andIamfreefromfear.”Orinsteadofsaying,“My problemsareoverwhelmingme,”sheshouldsay,“Icando whateverIneedtodoinlife,throughChrist,Whoismy strength.”

IfwetrulylivebyfaithandbelievethepromisesofGod, thenourconfessionmustchange.Wemustholdfastour confessionoffaithinGodregardlessofwhatwethink,howwe feel,orhowthingslook.Faithistheevidenceofthingshoped for,theproofofthingswedonotsee(seeHebrews11:1).We makeaconfessionoffaithbecausewebelieveGod’sWord, notbecauseweseeorfeelacertainthing.

TheapostlePaulwrotetotheChurchinRome,“Howcan weliveinsinanylonger,sincewearedeadtosin?”(see Romans6:2).Idon’tknowmanyChristianswhowouldsay theyaredeadtosin,becausethatisnothowtheyfeel.Paul wantedpeopletoliveintherealityoftheirredemption,which Jesusaccomplishedonthecross.Hewantedthemtobelieve andsaytheywereredeemedaccordingtoGod’sWord.

“LettheredeemedoftheLordsayso!”Startdeclaringby faith,“Iamredeemedfromsin,guilt,andcondemnation.Iam redeemedfromanger,bitterness,jealousy,fear,andIamfreeto loveGod,lovemyself,andloveotherpeople.”Wemustget thesetruthsintoourspiritbeforewewillhavetheminour experience.Faithcomesfirst,andthenmanifestationcomes.In God’skingdom,firstwebelieveandthenwereceive.Isaid, “Godlovesme,”thousandsoftimesbyfaithbeforeIeverfelt it.Wemightsaythatconfessionisalargepartofpossession. WechoosetobelievewhatGodsaysandsaythesamething byfaith.TheresultisthatourconfessionofGod’spromises leadsustopossessthemexperientially.

God’sprincipleoffaithistheexactoppositeofwhatthe worldteaches.Itwouldsay,“Don’tbelieveanythingthatyou can’tsee,smell,ortouch.”Godsaysthatwewalkbyfaith,not bysight!

LettheredeemedoftheLordsayso!Whenwehavehad theprivilegeoflearningGod’sWord,weshouldspeakHis WordfaithfullyaccordingtotheprophetJeremiah.

Theprophetwhohasadream,lethimtellhisdream; buthewhohasMyword;lethimspeakMyword faithfully.Jeremiah 23:28

Godisfaithful,andthatmeanswecanexpectHimtodo whatHesaysHewilldoallthetime.Hedoesn’tdoitpartof thetime,butallthetime,andeverytime.Thereisneveratime whenGoddoesn’tkeepHispromises.Weshouldalsobe faithfultodowhatweknowtodoallthetime.Sayingtheright thingoccasionallywon’tgiveusvictory.Butwhenweare relentlessandwespeakthewordfaithfully,thenwewillsee amazingresultsinduetime.

Don’tmerelydowhatisrightforashortwhileandthen giveupifyoudon’tgetaquickresult.Dowhatisrightover andoveruntilyoubreakthestrongholdsofSatan.TheBible saysthatwehaveweaponsthatwecanusetoteardown strongholds(see2Corinthians10:4–5).Ibelievethemainone istheWordofGodspokeninfaith.TheWordmaybetaught, preached,read,sung,orspoken,anditisonlytheWordof Godthatwillteardowndemonicstrongholdsthathavebeen erectedinourmindsthroughdeception.Thetruthdemolishes theliesofSatan!

GetRidoftheMixture

WeneedtobefaithfultotheprinciplesofGod.Don’tthink youcanhavealittlefaithandalittlefearandstillcomeout victorious.Wecan’tspeaktheWordsomeofthetime,but speakdoubtandunbeliefaswellandhopeforagoodresult.If wedothat,thebadcancelsoutthegoodandweendupback with“nopower.”

WhenIstartedlearningtheseprinciples,Idisciplined myselftospeakpositivelywhenIwaswithmyfriendsfrom church,butathomeIrevertedtomysameoldnegativeself,

speakingwordsoffear,worry,anddoubt.Asyoumight imagine,Iexperiencednochangeinmyjoyorbreakthroughin mycircumstances.Ineededtogetridofthemixtureofpositive andnegative,offaithandfearwords,andbecommittedto doingtherightthingallthetime.Iknewtherightthingtodo, butIletmyemotionsruleattimes,andIneededtobemuch moreseriousaboutthewordsIspoke.

Istillmakemistakes,butInolongertakealightattitude towardnegativewordsandthinkthattheyarenobigdeal. Wordsareabigdeal.Theyarecontainersforpower,andwe havetodecidewhatkindofpowerwewantourstocarry.

Keeppressingonandpressingtowardimprovinginevery areaofyourlife,especiallyinspeakingfaith,notfear,and maintainingaconfessionthatwillglorifyGod.

FearIsNotfromGod

Timothywasaveryyoungmanwholivedinatimewhen Christianswerebeingpersecuted.HewastheapostlePaul’s spiritualsonandhadbeenordainedfortheGospelministryby theelders,butfearwasattackinghim.Hewasconcernedthat hewastooyoungforministry,andthathewouldbe persecutedforhisbeliefinJesus.Paultoldhimtostiruphis faith,tofantheflameandnotletthefirethatwasonceinhim goout.Thelongerweallowfearfulthoughts,themoretightly theygripus.Ifwetalkaboutourfears,wefantheflameoffear. ButifwetalkaboutGod’sgoodness,Hisfaithfulnesstousin thepast,andtheprivilegeoflivingbyfaith,wefantheflameof ourfaithanditstaysaliveandpowerful.Wedon’t automaticallystaystronginfaith,andtherearetimeswhenwe

muststirourselvesupinfaithandremindourselvesthatwe don’thavetoliveinfear.

IamsureTimothywasdoingtoomuchnegativethinking andhadforgottentherichheritageoffaithhehadreceived fromhisgrandmotherandmother,soPaulremindedhim(see2 Timothy1:1–6).Sometimesweneedsomeonetointerruptour negativetalkandhelpusgetbackontrack,andsometimeswe needtolovinglyremindothersofthepoweroftheirwords.We cannottakeituponourselvestocorrectthemistakesofothers allthetime,butwecanandshouldbeledbytheHolySpiritto speakawordindueseasontothosewhohaveanopenheart, asPauldidtoTimothy.

PaulfinallytoldTimothy:

Goddidnotgiveusaspiritoftimidity(ofcowardice, ofcravenandcringingandfawningfear),but[Hehas givenusaspirit]ofpowerandofloveandofcalmand well-balancedmindanddisciplineandself-control.2

Timothy 1:7

FearisnotfromGod;therefore,thenexttimeyoufeelfear, openyourmouthandsay,“ThisfearisnotfromGod,andI don’tbelieveitandwon’treceiveit.”Thensayboldly,“I believeGodandIwillseeHisglory.”Itmighthelptoremember whatFEARstandsfor:

Satanattemptstofrightenuswithhislies,butthankGod wedon’thavetoliveinfear!

PARTII

Thesecondpartofthisbookconsistsofchaptersaboutthings thataregoodtosayandthingsthatweshouldnotsay.Iwant toencourageyoutopurposelysaythingsthatwouldplease God,eventhoughyoumayfeellikesayingsomethingthat wouldnotpleaseHim.Ialsowanttoencourageyou not tosay thingsthatwouldnotpleaseGod.Saythingsthatwillhelpand benefityouandthepeopleyouinteractwith,andavoidsaying thingsthatwon’thelporbringbenefit.Thisisasupersimple guidelinetohowtohaveamorepowerfulandjoy-filledlife.

Nowthatyouknowthepowerofwords,youaremore likelytodisciplineyourselftosayrightthingsthatarepleasing toGod.

Godhasgivenusafreewill,andwithHishelp,wecan choosetosaywhatweknowisrightinanysituationevenifwe feellikesayingsomethingthatwouldbemerelyemotionaland damagingtoothersorourselves.Iwanttodiscusssomeof whatIrefertoasthemostcommon“wordsins.”Theseare wordswespeakthatareuselessandorevendamaging.They arethingsthatarenotpleasingtoGod,andinmostinstances thingsHehascommandedusinHisWordnottosay.Most peopledon’tconsidersinsofthistypeasbeingvery important.Atleastnotasimportantasthe“biggersins,”such asadultery,stealing,lying,ormurder,buttheyaremore importantthanmostofusrealize.Wemaycategorizesinasbig andlittle,butIdon’tthinkGoddoes.Somesinsmayhavea

greaterimpactonourlivesthanothers,butsinissin,anditis alldisobediencetoGod.LetusdesiretoobeyGodinallthings, allthetime!

Quiteoftenweopenadoorforbigproblemsinourlives throughthingswesay,butwhenwecooperatewithGod’splan bysayingwhatHewouldsayineverysituation,weavoid manypainfultrapsthatSatanhaslaidforus.

AsIsaidearlier,pleaserememberthatitisimportantnot onlytostopsayingwrongthings,but to begin saying right things.Wordsarecontainersforpower,andwecandecide whatkindofpowerwewanttofillthemwith.Wecancomplain orbethankful,wecanencourageordiscourageothers,wecan blessorcurseourownfuture,andwecanopenorclosedoors ofopportunitybythewaywespeaktoothers.Itistimetouse wisdomwithwhatwesay.LetusbeabletosaywithDavid:

Iwillspeakexcellentandprincelythings;andthe openingofmylipsshallbeforrightthings.

Formymouthshalluttertruth,andwrongdoingis detestableandloathsometomylips.

Allthewordsofmymoutharerighteous(upright andinrightstandingwithGod);thereisnothing contrarytotruthorcrookedinthem.Proverbs 8:6–8

Don’t Complain

To complain ofthe age we live in,to murmur at the present possessors ofpower,to lament the past… are the common dispositions ofthe greatest part of mankind.

EdmundBurke,1770

AreYouaDuckoranEagle?

AtaxidriverpickedupanairportcustomerinNewYorkCity andimmediatelyintroducedhimselfasWally.Heofferedhis passengeracolddrinkfromacoolerinthefrontseat,that day’snewspaper,andhischoiceofmusicfromafewwellchosenCDs.Theclientwasamazedandasked,“Haveyou alwaysservedyourcustomerslikethis?”

Wallysaid,“No,notalways.Myfirstfiveyearsofdriving, Ispentcomplaininglikealltherestofthecabbiesdo.ThenI heardamotivationalspeakerontheradiooneday.Hesaidthat ifyouwakeupexpectingtohaveabadday,you’llrarely disappointyourself.Thenhesaid,‘Stopcomplaining!Don’tbe aduck.Beaneagle.Ducksquackandcomplain.Eaglessoar abovethecrowd.’ThatdayIdecidedtostopquackinglike ducksandstartsoaringlikeeagles.”

Iwantyoutodoanexperimentwithme.Justasan exercise,takeadayortwoandpurposelylistentohowmuch peoplecomplain,andwhileyouareatit,don’tforgettoalso

listentoyourself.Ithinkmakingitthroughonedaywithout complainingaboutanythingwouldqualifyasamiraculous occurrence.

Becauseourmouthgivesexpressiontowhatwethinkand feel,itrevealsourheart’sattitudetowardmostthings.Wecan judgebyourwordsifwearethankfulandappreciativeof God’sgoodness,orifwearediscontent.Ifwearediscontent, thenbelieveitornot,wehaveanunderlyingattitudeofgreed. Greedypeopleareneversatisfiedforlong,nomatterwhatthey haveorexperience,andgreedisasin.

Murmuring,grumbling,andcomplainingareallwhatIwill refertoas“wordsins.”Theyaresinsthatwecommitwiththe wordsofourmouths,buttheyarealsorevealingadeeper problem,andthatisaheartthatisnotthankful.

WhenIamteachingonthissubject,Ioftenaskpeopleto opentheirBiblestoPhilippians2:14andreadit.It’sneverlong beforeIhearmoans,groans,andguiltylaughterallacrossthe room.Theversesays,“Doallthingswithoutgrumblingand faultfindingandcomplaining[againstGod]andquestioning anddoubting[amongyourselves].”Peopleareimmediately convictedofwrongdoingwhentheyreadthisversebecauseit issomethingthatmostofusdoonadaily,ifnotanhourly, basis.Youmightthink,“Idon’tcomplainagainstGod,Ijust complain,”butGodtakesitpersonally.SinceHeisourFather, ourProvider,andtheOneWhowatchesoverus,whenwe complainaboutanything,wearebasicallysayingthatwedon’t likewhatGodisdoing,andwedon’ttrustHisleadershipinour lives.Evenifwhatishappeninginourcircumstancesisnot somethingGodisdoing,itissomethingthatHecanfixifwe willtrustHimtodoso.IfwetrulytrustGod,thenwewon’t

murmurandcomplain,butinsteadwewillvoiceour thankfulnessthatHeisworkinginourlivesandgivingusthe strengthtodowhateverweneedtodowhilewearewaiting.

AreYouPassingYourTests?

Let’ssay,forexample,thatyouareprayingforGodtohelpyou getapayraiseatwork,butinsteadyouhavetotakeapaycut becauseofeconomicconditions.Whatwouldyousayabout that?Wouldyouimmediatelystartcomplaining,orwouldyou say,“God,ItrustYoutotakecareofme,andifmycurrent employercannotorwillnotpaymewhatIamworthandneed toliveonproperly,thenIaskYoutoleadmetoanother positionthatwill.”

Whatwouldyousayifintheupcomingdaysyou discoveredthatnoteveryonehadtotakeacutinpayandthat, infact,somewhoyouthinkwerelessdeservingevenreceived asmallcost-of-livingraise?Wouldyoucomplainlouderand evenaddwordsofcriticismtowardotherpeoplewhodidn’t havetotakeacutinpay?Orwouldyoucontinuetovoiceyour trustinGodandthankHimthatHeisworkinginyourlife?Just becausesomethingdoesn’tseemjustorfairdoesn’tmeanthat wehaveafreepassfromGodtocomplainaboutit.Thereare manythingsinlifethatarenotfair,butGodisourVindicator, andHewilleventuallybringjusticeifwecontinuetotrustHim.

ItisentirelypossiblethatasituationliketheoneIhave describedisatestfromGodandthatHefullyintendstogreatly blesstheonewhoapparentlyisbeingtreatedunjustly,ifheor shepassesthetest.WemustpraiseandblessGodinthe valleysoflifeaswellasonthemountaintops.

GodtoldtheIsraelitesthatHeledthemthroughthe wildernessinordertoseeiftheywouldkeepHis commandmentsornot(seeDeuteronomy8).Ifyouareina difficultortryingsituationrightnow,disciplineyourselfnotto complain,butinsteadgivepraiseandglorytoGod.

AsIsaid,Godsometimesallowsustobeinlessthan desirablesituationstotestus.QuiteoftenHeisplanninga promotionforusinlifeifwepassthetestthatisinfrontofus. Iwon’tsharethedetailsofthesituation,butIwilltellyouthat evenasIwritethischapter,Iamexperiencingasituationinmy ownlifethatisquiteunfairandunjustandonethatIam temptedtocomplainaboutoften.Iamgladtobewritingthis chapteriffornooneelse,thenformyself,becauseIneedit.I ambeingtestedrightnow.Areyou?

Beloved,donotbeamazedandbewilderedatthefiery ordealwhichistakingplacetotestyourquality,as thoughsomethingstrange(unusualandalientoyou andyourposition)werebefallingyou.

1 Peter 4:12

Wearelikechildreninschoolwhomustpasstestsin ordertobepromotedtothenextgrade.Areyoupassingthe trusttest,ormerelymurmuringwhenthingsdon’tgoyour way?IamaskingthisbecauseGodhasposedthisvery questiontomeinmypersonallifemanytimes.Godhasdealt quitefirmlywithmeabouttheissueofcomplainingand continuestodoso.Complainingisasin,andwemustnotlook atitanyotherway.

OurprayersofpetitionhavenopowerwithGodunless theyareimmersedinprayersofthanksgiving.God’sWord

teachesusnottoworryaboutanything,butinevery circumstancebyprayerandpetition,WITHTHANKSGIVING (emphasismine),continuetomakeyourwantsknowntoGod (seePhilippians4:6).

WisdomtellsusthatofferingaprayerofpetitiontoGod withcomplainingwouldhavenopower.Suchaprayerwould havenochanceofbeinganswered.Wecannotevencomeinto thepresenceofGodunlesswecomewiththanksgiving.

EnterintoHisgateswiththanksgivingandathank offeringandintoHiscourtswithpraise!Bethankful andsaysotoHim,blessandaffectionatelypraiseHis name!Psalm100:4

Alotofprayersarewastedwordsbecausetheyare comingfromthemouthofapersonwhomurmurs,complains, andfindsfaultwithmanythings.Goddoesnotanswerprayers forthistypeofpersonbecauseheisshowingbyhisattitude andwordsthathedoesnottrustGodandisnotthankfuland appreciative.Don’tmakethemistakeofthinkingthatyourcase isspecialandthereforeyourcomplainingisjustified.Wecan allfindmanyreasonstocomplain,butIhavenotfoundone reasonthatisacceptabletoGod.

YoumaybeapersonwhogenuinelylovesGod,butyou haveahabitofcomplainingandhavenot,untilnow,realized howdisrespectfulitistoGod.Thatwasthecasewithme.Ihad abadhabitofcomplaining,andanattitudeproblem.Badhabits usuallycomefrombadattitudes,andwewillneverchangeuntil wereceivethetruthandletitsetusfree.Itisnoteasytoadmit thatwehaveabadattitude,butitistheroadtofreedomand

change.

Areyouthankful?DoyouvoiceyourthankfulnesstoGod andothers?Howmuchdoyoumurmurandcomplain?Ifyou areconvictedofsininthisarea,thereisnocondemnation,but youshouldaskGodtoforgiveyouandlearnallyoucanabout whatGodhastosayaboutthedangersofcomplaining.

TheIsraeliteswereslavesinEgyptandtheycriedtoGodfor deliveranceformanyyears.Goddidsendthemadeliverer.He sentMoses,whomHehadequippedtoleadthemoutofEgypt, throughthewilderness,andintothelandHehadpromisedto givethem,alandofabundancewheretheywouldbeblessedin manyways.

ThejourneyfromEgypttothelandofCanaanthatGod hadpromisedtogivethemwasaneleven-daytrip,butthey wanderedinthewildernessforfortyyears.Themajorityof themdiedinthewildernessandneversawtherealityofGod’s promise.Likemostofusdo,theyblamedtheirlackofprogress onmanythings.ItwasGod’sfault,Moses’fault,andallthe enemynationsthatsurroundedthem.Oddlyenough,they neverthoughtorevenconsideredthatitwastheirownfault. Doesthatsoundfamiliar?

Theyremainedinthewildernessbecausetheyhadabad attitude,andoneoftheirsinswasthesinofmurmuring, faultfinding,andcomplaining.

AndtheyjourneyedfromMountHorbythewayto theRedSea,togoaroundthelandofEdom,andthe

IsItReallyaSintoComplain?

peoplebecameimpatient(depressed,much discouraged),because[ofthetrials]oftheway.

Numbers 21:4

Likemanyofus,theIsraelitesweresatisfied,content,and thankfulonlywheneverythingwasgoingtheirway,butwhen thereweretrials,theycomplained.

AndthepeoplespokeagainstGodandagainst Moses,WhyhaveyoubroughtusoutofEgypttodie inthewilderness?Forthereisnobread,neitheris thereanywater,andweloathethislight(contemptible, unsubstantial)manna.Numbers 21:5

Doyouheartheirbadattitudeasyoureadthis?Their discomfortisGod’sfault!ItisMoses’fault!Theyarethinking aboutdeathinsteadofmakingprogress!Andworstofall,they arecomplainingaboutthemiraculousmannathatGodhassent fromheavendailytofeedthem!Oneoftheworstpartsabout complainingisthatitpreventsusfromseeingalltheblessings thatwedohave.TheIsraeliteswereonceveryexcitedabout themanna(heavenlybread),butnowtheyhateit.Theirgreedy attitudedemandsmoreandmore.Theirgreedandbadattitude blindedthemtothegoodnessofGod.Whenweallow ourselvestofallpreytothiskindofbadattitude,itkeepsusin theverycircumstancethatwewanttogetoutof.Ioncesawa definitionoftheword complain thatsaiditmeant“toremain.”

WhenIcomplainaboutasituation,Iremaininit,butan attitudeofgratitudeandpraisewillraisemeoutofit.The Israelitescouldnotdoanythingbutgoaroundandaroundthe

samemountains,wanderinginthedesert,eventhoughthe borderofthePromisedLandwasafewdaysaway,simply becausetheymurmured,blamed,andcomplained.

Doyouhaveasituationorcircumstancethatyouwantto befreefrom?Ifso,thenstartfindingthingstobethankfulfor. Don’tmerelylookatthethingsyoudon’thave,butlookatall youdohave.Bethankfulandsayso!Yourwordsofgratitude defeatthedevilandthwarthisplansforevil,butwordsof complainthelphimaccomplishhiswickedplan.TheIsraelites murmuredandcomplainedandtheLordsentfieryburning serpentsintotheircamp.

ThentheLordsentfiery(burning)serpentsamongthe people;andtheybitthepeople,andmanyIsraelites died.

AndthepeoplecametoMoses,andsaid,Wehave sinned,forwehavespokenagainsttheLordand againstyou;praytotheLord,thatHemaytakeaway theserpentsfromus.SoMosesprayedforthepeople.

Numbers 21:6–7

Itisashamethatpeoplehadtodiebeforetheyrealized thattheirbadattitudeandharshwordsweresin.Areferenceis madetothesescripturesin1Corinthians10:8thattellsusthat twenty-threethousandIsraelitesfelldeadthatday.Itwasa tragicday,anditcouldhavebeenavoidedifthepeoplewould havesimplytrustedGodandbeenthankfulforwhattheyhad.

Iamnotsayingthatifwecomplain,wewilldropdead,but Idobelievethereisalessoninthesescripturesthatwedon’t wanttomiss.Iamgratefulthatweliveinthedispensationof

graceandthatGodismerciful,butthatstilldoesn’tmeanthat wedon’tharmourselvesandhindertheplanofGodforour liveswhenwecontinuemurmuringandcomplainingevenafter understandingthatitisasin.

Iaskthatyoutakethetimetoreadthenextfourverses andponderthemslowly.Iknowwearesometimestemptedto skipoverthescriptureswhenwearereadingbookslikethis one,butpleasedon’tdothatbecausetheseversescontaina solemnwarningthatweshouldpayheedto.

Wemustnotgratifyevildesireandindulgein immoralityassomeofthemdid andtwenty-three thousand[suddenly]felldeadinasingleday!

WeshouldnottempttheLord[tryHispatience, becomeatrialtoHim,criticallyappraiseHim,and exploitHisgoodness]assomeofthemdidandwere killedbypoisonousserpents;

Nordiscontentedlycomplainassomeofthemdid andwereputoutofthewayentirelybythedestroyer (death).

Nowthesethingsbefellthembywayofafigure[as anexampleandwarningtous];theywerewrittento admonishandfitusforrightactionbygood instruction.1 Corinthians 10:8–11

IfyoudidwhatIaskedandreallytookagoodlookat theseverses,youareprobablysittingwithyourmouth hangingopeninamazementasIdidthefirsttimeIsimply believedwhatGodissayinghere.Tosumitup,Heissaying thattheIsraelitesmurmuredandcomplained,andtheninstead

oftakingresponsibilityfortheirbadattitude,theyfurther sinnedbyblamingGodandMosesfortheproblemstheyhad createdthemselves.Theirdisobedienceopenedadoorfor poisonousserpents(representingthedevil)toattackthem,and manyofthemdied.Thosewhodiedwereprobablytheones whocomplainedtheloudestandpoisonedotherpeople’s attitudewiththeirs.Iamsuretheyknewbetterandunderstood thepowerofpraiseandthanksgiving,buttheydidnot disciplinethemselvestohonorGod.Thefinalverseplainly statesthatthiswaswrittendownforourinstructionandto helpusnotmakethesamemistakestheydid.

ManyyearsagoIdecidedtotaketheseversesatface value,andIbeganatthattimemakinganefforttostop complaining.Ihavenotarrivedatperfection.Asamatterof fact,IrecentlyrealizedthatIcomplainalmostdailyabouta three-milestretchofhighwayclosetomyhomethathasnocell towerandIcan’tmakephonecallsduringthosethreemiles. Therestofthehighwayisfine,butIcomplainaboutthe inconvenienceofthethreemiles.IrememberwhenIwasa teenagerandtheonlywaytomakeaphonecallifIwasdriving wastopulloverinanareathathadanoutsidephonebooth, findtherightchange,andgetoutofmycartomakethecall. Whatwehaveavailabletodayisextremelyconvenient,butI complainedabouttheshortdistancethatprobablytakesthree orfourminutestodrivethrough.IaskedGodtoforgivemeand tomakemeawareofitwhenIamcomplaining.

NowthatIseewhatIwasdoing,itseemssoutterly ridiculous,butitdoesshowhowwefallintothetrapof complainingwithoutevenbeingfullyawareofit.Weneed God’shelp!

Ihopeandpraythatoureyeswillbeopenedandwewill makeagenuineefforttonolongercomplainandinsteadbe verythankfulforallthegoodnessofGodinourlives.

ThroughHim,therefore,letusconstantlyandatall timesofferuptoGodasacrificeofpraise,whichisthe fruitoflipsthatthankfullyacknowledgeandconfess andglorifyHisname.Hebrews 13:15

Words ofEncouragement

Nothing else can quite substitute for a few wellchosen,well-timed,sincere words ofpraise.They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.

SamWalton

Wordsofencouragementareperhapssomeofthemost valuablewordsintheworld.ThelateWaltDisneysaidthat therearethreekindsofpeopleintheworld.Firstthereare “well-poisoners,”whodiscourageyouandstomponyour creativityandtellyouwhatyoucan’tdo.Thenthereare“lawnmowers,”peoplewhoarewellintentionedbutself-absorbed. Theytendtotheirownneeds,mowtheirownlawns,andnever leavetheiryardstohelpanotherperson.Finallythereare“lifeenhancers,”peoplewhoreachouttoenrichthelivesofothers, toliftthemupandinspirethem.Weneedtobelife-enhancers, andweneedtosurroundourselveswithlife-enhancers.

Theword encourage isdefinedin Vine’s Dictionary of the Bible as“tourgeforward,topersuade,ortocomfort.”It alsomeanstostimulateonetothedischargeoftheordinary dutiesinlife.Weallneedencouragementbecausethereare timesinlifewhenwegetwearyandfeellikegivingup.Letme mentionatleastthreetimesinlifewhenwemayneed encouragement.

Thefirstiswhenwearefacinggreatchallengesor difficultyofsomekind.Itmaybeafinancialburden,sickness,

orcaringforanelderlyparent.Itcouldbethelossofaloved one,maritaldifficulty,orachildwhohasgoneastray.During thosetimesweoftenthinkandfeelthatwejustcannotgoon, butawordofencouragementfromsomeoneweloveand respect,orevenfromatotalstranger,cangiveusthecourage weneedtopressonandseevictory.Awordofencouragement duringacrisisisworthmorethananhourofpraiseafter victory.

Whenweencourageothers,weletthemborrowour courage.HereisaninterestingstorythatIheard:

StonewallJackson(whobecamethefamedgeneralforthe ConfederacyintheCivilWar)wasastudentatthemilitary schoolatWestPoint.Eventhoughhewasbrilliant,he encounteredatoughseasonandaparticularlybaddayinhis militarytraining.Hemadeanappointmentwithhissuperiorto getcounsel.Intheappointmentheconfidedtohisaged superiorthathewasdiscouraged.Theofficerstoodupand declared,“Iunderstandthatyouarediscouraged.Notto worry,son.Todayyoushallborrowmycourage!”

IfnobodyhadbeenwillingtoencourageJacksonatthis pointinhiscareer,itispossiblethathewouldnothavegone ontobethegreatgeneralthathewas.Wecanhelppeople alongtheirwaybyencouragingthem.

Asecondareawhereweneedencouragementiswhenwe havegreatnewopportunityinfrontofus.Attimesthecallto dosomethinggreaterthanwehaveeverdonebeforeseems overwhelming.Wewonderifweareuptoitorcandowhatwill berequired.Whenwearegiventheopportunitytodo somethingthatwehaveneverdonebefore,wemaybeginto feelafraidthatwewillfail.Awordofencouragementcanmake

thedifferencebetweensuccessandfailure.Justtohave someonesay,“IbelieveinyouandIknowyouhavegotwhat ittakes,”cangivethestrengthsomeoneneedstokeepgoing. Littlechildrenespeciallyneedtoknowwithoutashadowofa doubtthattheirparentsbelieveinthem.Whowouldn’twant confidencelikethelittleboywhosaidtohisfather,“Let’splay darts,Dad.I’llthrowandyousay,‘Wonderful!’”

OnedayIfeltthatIshouldtextaverywell-known musicianwhomIoccasionallytalktoandsimplysaytoher,“I amproudofyouforholdingontoyourfaithinanindustrythat Iknowcanbechallenging.”Normally,Iwouldnotthinkshe wouldneedmetoencourageherbecausesheisnotjusta musicstar,sheisamegastar,butherresponsewasasfollows: “Youwillneverknowhowmuchyourencouragementmeantto me.Toknowthatyouareproudofmeiswonderful.”

Irealizedlaterthatalotofpeopledidn’torstilldon’tget fromtheirnaturalparentstheencouragementthattheyneed, andreceivingitfromaspiritualmotherorfathercanmakeup forthatlossintheirlife.Tellyourchildren,evenyourgrown children,thatyouareproudofthemandwatchthemlightup andstandtaller.

Thethirdareawhereweoftenneedencouragementis simplyinlivingordinary,everydaylifewithenthusiasm.Itis easytogetboredwithdischargingthedutiesofordinarylife. Wegetupandgotobed,getupandgotobed,andinbetween wetendtoendlesschoresthatseemtorepeatthemselves everyday.Ifindthatalotofourlifeisdealingwiththesetypes ofthings.Wecannotalwayshavesomethingnewhappening, orbegettingreadyforanexcitingvacation.Sincemostoflifeis ordinary,weneedtobeabletoliveitwithjoyandappreciation.

BrightenSomeone’sDay

Speakingwordsofencouragementtopeoplehelpsthem.Itis likeabrightspotinanotherwiseplainday.Ifindthat complimentsencouragepeople.YesterdayIwasinacheckout lineatastore,andanelderlywomanwasworkingatthecash register.Inoticedthateventhoughherskinwaswrinkledfrom age,ithadaverynicesheen,andshehadlovelyrosychecks. Herskinmadeherlooksoftandkind,soItoldherso.Icould tellthatmycomplimentsurprisedher,butshelikedit.IfIwatch closely,itseemsthatwhenIcomplimentpeople,theyseemto standabittallerthantheywerepreviously,andalittlelight comesintotheireyes,andtheyalwayssmile!Wecanput smilesonpeople’sfaceseveryday.

Makeahabitofcomplimentingpeople.Saysomething kindandencouragingtoeveryoneyoumeet,andpeoplewill alwaysbehappytoseeyoucoming.Youwillbehappieralso, forwhenwemakeothershappy,italwayscomesbackonus. Whenyoubrightensomeoneelse’sday,youbrightenyours also.RememberintheearlierpartofthebookthatIsaidweeat ourwords,andthisisanotherwayofseeingthatprinciplein action.ThebetterImakeothersfeel,thebetterIfeelmyself. Don’tfeelembarrassedaboutcomplimentingpeopleyoudon’t know.Justbecausewedon’tknowsomeonedoesnotmean thatGodcan’tuseustoincreaseherjoyandbuildherup.

Manypeoplethatwecomeintocontactwithwhileweare outandaboutinourdailylifearelivingindarkness.They eitherhavenorelationshipwithJesus,WhoistheLightofthe world,ortheyhavedarksecretstheyarerunningfrom,ortheir circumstancesaredarkandpainful.WecanlettheHolySpirit

workthroughusinfulfillingoneportionofHisministry,which istocomfortandencourage.

Ifmorehusbandsandwiveswouldcomplimenteachother andshowappreciation,therewouldbealotfewerdivorces.

Whenpeopledodivorce,theyoftenthinkandclaimitisdueto somehugeproblemintheirlife,butIthinkitisoftenbecause theyhaveforgottenthesimplekindnessesinlifethatthey shouldbeshowingeachother.Andevenifthereweremore seriousproblems,perhapstheywouldneverhavedevelopedif eachofthemhadbeenencouragingtheother.DaveandIhave beenmarriedforty-fiveyearsasIwritethisbook,andweare stillcomplimentingeachother.Itisveryordinaryandhumanto discourageandfindfault,butitisagodlytraittobean encourager.

MoreEncouragers,Please

Flatter me,and Imay not believe you.Criticize me,and I may not like you.Ignore me,and Imay not forgive you. Encourage me,and Iwill not forget you.

WilliamArthurWard

Wordsofencouragementbuildpeopleupandstrengthenthem tobealltheycanbeinlife.Theyhelppeoplenottogiveupon theirdreams,buttopressonuntiltheyhavevictory.Iamvery thankfulforthepeoplewhohaveencouragedmeinlife,butI mustsaythatIwishtherehadbeenmoreofthem.

JeanNidetch,ahomemakerdesperatetoloseweight, decidedthatsheneededsomesupportwhileshetriedtolose

morethanfiftypounds.Sheinvitedsixoverweightfriendsto joinherindietingandtomeetinherhomeweeklytotalkabout stayingonit.ThosemeetingsultimatelybecameWeight Watchers,whichNidetchestablishedin1963.Today,ithas morethanonemillionmemberswhomeetintwenty-four countries.WhenNidetchwasaskedwhatthesecretofher successwasinhelpingpeopleloseweight,shereplied:“When Iwasateenager,IwouldcrossaparkwhereIsawmothers gossipingwhilethetoddlerssatontheirswingswithnooneto pushthem.I’dgivethemapush.Youknowwhathappens whenyoupushakidonaswing?Prettysoonhe’spumping, doingithimself.That’swhatmyroleinlifeis I’mthereto giveothersapush.”

Weallneedencouragement,andIamnoexception. WhenGodcalledmetoteachHisWord,mostofthe peopleIknewwerecriticalandverydiscouraging.Theytold mewhatIcouldnotdoandwhyIcouldn’tdoit,andthey frequentlyremindedmeofmylackofability.Accordingto them,Ididnothavetherightpersonality,Iwasnottheright sexbecauseonlymenwereBibleteachersbackinthosedays, andtheyremindedmethatIwasawoman.TheytoldmeI didn’thavetherightcredentialsbecauseIhadnotbeento seminaryanddidn’thaveenougheducation.Icansafelysay thatonlyDaveandacoupleoffriendsgaveme encouragement.Iwasaskedtoleavemychurch,andwasno longerwelcomeinthesamesocialcircleswehadoncebeen partof.Iwouldhavelovedtohavebeensurroundedby encouragingpeople,andIamsureitwouldhavemademy journeymucheasier.

LetmesaythatSatanistheauthorofdiscouragement,

andalthoughthesepeoplewereChristians,theyignorantly allowedSatantousethemtotrytohinderaplanthatGodhad formylife.Theirpersonalopinionsandwrongmindsetsgotin thewayoftheirbeingabletohelpmemakemyjourney.We shouldbeverycarefulaboutdiscouragingpeoplejustbecause theywanttodosomethingthathasnotbeendonebefore.

ThomasEdisonwasgreatlydiscouragedbymanywhilehewas searchingfortheelectriclightbulb,butIamgladthathekept pressingon.AlexanderGrahamBellwasthoughttobecrazy forthinkingthatpeople’svoicescouldbecarriedthroughair waves,butnowweallcarrycellphonesandcancommunicate acrosscontinentsinmereseconds.

Itisnotthatwecannotsurvivewithoutencouragement, butjustimaginehowmucheasierthingswouldbeifwehad moreencouragersinourlives.

Manyoftheworld’sgreatinventionscamethrough peoplewhohadtoresistbelievingthediscouragingwords spokentothembyothers.Thankfully,theydidn’tgiveup,but howmanyothershavegivenupbecausetheyhadnobodyto encouragethemalongtheway?Howmanygreatthingshave wemissedbecausewedon’thaveenough“encouragers”in theworld?Probablymorethanwecanimagine.

Childrenneedencouragementasmuchastheyneedfood, clothing,andshelter.SeanandLeighAnneTuohy,thereal-life coupleportrayedinthemovie The Blind Side,sharethe followingstoryintheirbookIn a Heartbeat:Thereisalittleknowncongressionalprogramthatawardsinternshipsto youngpeoplewhohaveagedoutofthefostercaresystem. Thesearekidswhowereneveradopted,andarenolonger eligibleforstatesupport.

Asenatoremployedonesuchmanasanintern.One morningthesenatorbreezedinforameetinganddiscovered thathisinternwasalreadyintheoffice,reorganizingtheentire mailroom.Thesenatorsaidtotheintern,“Thisisamazing the mailroomhasneverlookedsoclean.Youdidagreatjob.”

Afewminuteslaterthesenatorsawthattheinternhad tearsstreamingdownhisface.[He]said,“Son,areyouokay?”

“Yes,”theinternansweredquietly.

“DidIsaysomethingtooffendyou?”

“No,sir.”

“Well,what’swrong?”

Theyoungmansaid,“That’sthefirsttimeinmylife anyone’stoldmethatIdidsomethinggood.”

Absolutelyanyonecanmakeacommitmenttoencourage otherpeople.AllwehavetodoisaskGodtouseusandbegin toseepeoplethewayHedoes.Heseesthegoodinpeopleand thepossibilitiesthatexist,andwecantrainourselvestodothe samething.Lookforthepositiveandmagnifyit!AskGodto putthingsinyourheartthatyoucanspeaktoothersthatwill encouragethem.Forexample,ifyoulookatsomeonewhois wearingpurpleandthethoughtcomestoyou,“Youreallylook greatinthatcolor,”thenwhynotopenyourmouthandsay so?Theycan’treadyourmind,butawordindueseason,orat justtherighttime,iswonderful.

Sometimesasinglewordcanmakeallthedifference.

RobertSchullertellsastoryaboutabankerwhoalwaystossed acoininthecupofaleglessbeggarwhosatonthestreet outsidethebank.Butunlikemostpeople,thebankerwould alwaysinsistongettingoneofthepencilsthemanhadbeside him.“Youareamerchant,”thebankerwouldsay,“andI

alwaysexpecttoreceivegoodvaluefrommerchantsIdo businesswith.”Onedaytheleglessmanwasnotonthe sidewalk.Timepassedandthebankerforgotabouthim,until hewalkedintoapublicbuildingandthereintheconcessions standsattheformerbeggar.Hewasobviouslytheownerofhis ownsmallbusinessnow.“Ihavealwayshopedyoumight comebysomeday,”themansaid.“Youarelargelyresponsible formebeinghere.YoukepttellingmethatIwasa‘merchant.’I startedthinkingofmyselfthatway,insteadofabeggar receivinggifts.Istartedsellingpencils lotsofthem.You gavemeself-respect,causedmetolookatmyselfdifferently.”

Amanhasjoyinmakinganaptanswer,andaword spokenattherightmoment howgooditis!Proverbs

15:23

Somepeoplearegiftedasencouragers,anditseemsto comenaturallyforthem.Theyareamazingpeoplewhomake everyonefeelgoodanytimetheyarearound.Iwasnot naturallygiftedinthatway,butIhavetrainedmyselftobethat way.Ihavetoworkatitalittleharderandperhapsyoudo,too, butwecandoit.Wemaynotallbenaturallygifted

encouragers,butweareallcommandedbyGodtoencourage others,andifthatisn’tenough,wearealsocommandednotto discouragethemthroughfaultfindingandcriticism.

WecanseehowmuchimportancetheapostlePaulplaced onencouragingoneanotherbywhathewrotetothe

ThessalonianChurch.Hewasawareofthedifficultyofthe timestheywerelivinginandknewthatmanywouldgiveup andnotfinishtheirjourneyoffaithiftheyhadno

encouragement.

Thereforeencourage(admonish,exhort)oneanother andedify(strengthenandbuildup)oneanother,just asyouaredoing.1 Thessalonians 5:11

Encouragethetimidandfainthearted,helpandgive yoursupporttotheweaksouls,[and]beverypatient witheverybody[alwayskeepingyourtemper].1

Thessalonians 5:14b

TheHolySpiritIsanEncourager

Godobviouslyknowshowimportantencouragementis becauseHesentusaDivineComforterandEncouragerwhen HesenttheHolySpirit.Nobodyisasgoodatencouragingas Heis,anditisonlybecausewehaveHiminourlivesthatwe canbesuccessfulevenwhenwehavenohumanagentto encourageus.TheHolySpiritisthe Parakletos,theGreek wordforonewhowalksalongsideus,givingaid,encouraging, buildingusup,edifying,andcomfortingus.Jesussaidthat whenHewentaway,HewouldsendanotherComforter,andHe senttheHolySpirit.

Accordingtoscripture,Godisthesourceofeverycomfort andencouragement.IbelieveHewantstoworkthroughpeople toprovidethisamazingministry,butthankfullyHesendsus HisSpiritevenwhenpeoplefail.

BlessedbetheGodandFatherofourLordJesus

Let’sremembertofollowhisadvice.

Christ,theFatherofsympathy(pityandmercy)and theGod[WhoistheSource]ofeverycomfort (consolationandencouragement), Whocomforts(consolesandencourages)usin everytrouble(calamityandaffliction),sothatwemay alsobeabletocomfort(consoleandencourage)those whoareinanykindoftroubleordistress,withthe comfort(consolationandencouragement)withwhich weourselvesarecomforted(consoledand encouraged)byGod.2 Corinthians 1:3–4

Intheearlydaysofthisministry,eventhoughIdidn’t haveanabundanceofencouragementfrompeople,Idid receivecouragetogoonfromtheHolySpirit.IexperiencedHis comfortandithelpedmedeveloparelationshipofintimacy withHim!Don’tdespairifyoudon’tgetfrompeoplewhatyou need,butinsteadgotoGodandHewillalwaysbemorethan enoughineverysituation.Infact,Ibelievetherearetimes whenGodwillnotallowpeopletomeetourneedssimply becauseHewantstoministertousHimself.

Godcomfortsusinourtimeofneedsowemightthen comfortothersintheirs.Godalwaysexpectsustogiveaway whatHegivesus.Thisisaspirituallawandisthewaytokeep asteadyflowofwhateverweneedcomingintoourlives.God firstgivestousandHisWordsayswearetogiveanditwillbe givenuntousinanoverflowingabundance(seeLuke6:38).

WecanneveroutgiveGod.Themoreweencourageothers,the moreencouragedwewillbeourselves.Ifwemerelyreceive God’scomfortinourtimeofneed,butthendon’tbotherto encourageothers,wewillsoonfindthatourfountainof

comfortisnolongerflowingwhenweneedit.Aharshattitude towardotherpeopleclosesthedoortothemercythatweneed ourselves.

Don’tLetYourOwnProblemsGetinYourWay

Trulygreatpeoplehavetheabilitynottoallowtheirown legitimateneedstostopthemfrombeingablessingtoothersin need.Hereisastorythatmakesmypoint:

Twomen,bothseriouslyill,occupiedthesamehospital room.Onemanwasallowedtositupinhisbedforanhour eachafternoontohelpdrainfluidfromhislungs.Hisbedwas nexttotheroom’sonlywindow.Theothermanhadtospend allofhistimeflatonhisback.

Thementalkedforhoursonend.Theyspokeoftheir wivesandfamilies,theirhomes,theirjobs,theirinvolvementin themilitaryservice,wheretheyhadbeenonvacation.And everyafternoonwhenthemaninthebedbythewindowcould situp,hewouldpassthetimebydescribingtohisroommateall thethingshecouldseeoutsidethewindow.

Themanintheotherbedbegantoliveforthoseone-hour periodswherehisworldwouldbebroadenedandenlivenedby alltheactivityandcoloroftheworldoutside.

Thewindowoverlookedaparkwithalovelylake.Ducks andswansplayedonthewaterwhilechildrensailedtheir modelboats.Youngloverswalkedarminarmamidflowersof everycoloroftherainbow.Grandoldtreesgracedthe landscape,andafineviewofthecityskylinecouldbeseenin thedistance.

Asthemanbythewindowdescribedallthisinexquisite

detail,themanontheothersideoftheroomwouldclosehis eyesandimaginethepicturesquescene.Onewarmafternoon themanbythewindowdescribedaparadepassingby. Althoughtheothermancouldn’theartheband,hecouldseeit inhismind’seyeasthegentlemanbythewindowportrayedit withdescriptivewords.

Daysandweekspassed.Onemorning,thedaynurse arrivedtobringwaterfortheirbathsonlytofindthelifeless bodyofthemanbythewindow,whohaddiedpeacefullyinhis sleep.Shewassaddenedandcalledthehospitalattendantsto takethebodyaway.Assoonasitseemedappropriate,the othermanaskedifhecouldbemovednexttothewindow.The nursewashappytomaketheswitch,andaftermakingsurehe wascomfortable,shelefthimalone.

Slowly,painfully,heproppedhimselfupononeelbowto takehisfirstlookattheworldoutside.Finally,hewouldhave thejoyofseeingitforhimself.Hestrainedtoslowlyturnto lookoutthewindowbesidethebed.Itfacedablankwall.The manaskedthenursewhatcouldhavecompelledhisdeceased roommatewhohaddescribedsuchwonderfulthingsoutside thiswindow.Thenurserespondedthatthemanwasblindand couldnotevenseethewall.Shesaid,“Perhapshejustwanted toencourageyou.”

Theblindmandefinitelyfulfilledthescripturethatreads:

Leteachoneofusmakeitapracticetoplease(make happy)hisneighborforhisgoodandforhistrue welfare,toedifyhim[tostrengthenhimandbuildhim upspiritually].Romans 15:2

Foranyonewhoiswonderingwhathispurposeinlifeis, lethimwondernomore.Wecannotfindahigherpurposethan tojointheHolySpiritinHisministryofcomfortand encouragement.

Love Listens and Speaks

Wecanandshouldformthehabitoflovingpeoplewithour words,butbeforewecandothatproperly,weneedtolearnto trulylistentothem.Hearingisnotthesameaslistening,orat leastwecansaythattruelisteningisadeeperlevelofhearing.

Partofthedefinitionofhearing in Vine’s Dictionary ofthe Bible is“tolistenandbelisteningortohearthroughfully.”

Wecanseefromthisthatjustbecausewehearsomeone’s voice,andevenifweunderstandthewordsthatarespoken, thatdoesn’tmeanthatwearetrulylisteningwithacaringear.

IwilladmitrightnowthatthisisanareainwhichIneedto improve.IprobablystillliketotalkmorethanIliketolisten,but Iamgrowing!IfindthatIgetimpatientwithpeoplewhogive metoomanydetailswhentheytellmethings.Ijustwantthe bottomline,butIstillneedtorespectfullylistentoothers becauseweallcommunicatebasedonourownpersonalities. Weneedthepeoplewhohavethedetailedpersonalities becausewewouldmissalotinlifeandmakemanymistakesif thosewonderfulpeopledidnotexist.Godplacesdifferentgifts andabilitiesineachoneofus,andweshouldlearnto appreciateeachindividualandhisorheruniqueness.

DaveismoredetailedthanIam,sowhenhetellsme storiesaboutthingshehasseenorheard,ittakeshimlonger thanitwouldtakemetotellthem.Someofthedetailsthathe likestosharemaynotseemimportanttome,buttheyare obviouslyimportanttohim,andpartofloveislistening

respectfully.SonowthatIhaveconfessedmyweakness,Iwill goonandwewillseetogetherwhatwecanlearn.

ActiveListening

JesussaidthatifweloveHim,wewillobeyHim.Butwecannot obeyHimifwedon’tlistentowhatHewantstosaytous.How welistentoBibleteachingdetermineswhatwegetoutofit. TheBiblesaysthatthemeasureofthoughtandstudythatwe givetothetruththatwehearisthemeasureofvirtueand knowledgewewillreceivefromit(seeMark4:24).

Wecanhearwhatisbeingsaidwithouttruly hearing whatisbeingsaid.Mostpeoplecannottellyouwhatthey heardinchurchfourhoursaftertheywerethere.Theythought theylistened,butitwasonlysurfacelistening.Itisgoodto takenoteswhenyouarehearingsomethingthatyoudon’t wanttoforget.Thinkoverwhatyouheard;ponderit.Themore youdo,themoreyougleanfromit.Forexample,Icanheara sermononsacrificialloveandhowimportantitisthatI sacrificemyowndesirestohelpothers,butwhatdoesthat reallymean?IfIdon’tthinkaboutit,Imayeither misunderstandit,ornotunderstanditenoughtocausemeto takeanyactionatall.Isatinthebuilding,Iheardthewords, butIdidnotreallyhearthemessageifitdoesn’tmovemeto action.

IfIspendtimethinkingaboutit,Iwillrealizethatto sacrificedoesn’tmeanthatitiswrongtodothingsformyself, orthingsthatIenjoy.ItdoesmeanthatIcannotlivesolelyfor myselfandexpecttoalwaysgetmyownway.Tosacrificefor othersmeansthattherewillbetimeswhentheHolySpiritwill

promptmetotakemytimeandmoneythatIhadplansforand usetheminsteadforthebenefitofsomeoneinneed.Inour Christiansociety,weareofteneducatedwaybeyondourlevel ofobedience,andIthinkitisbecausewedon’tlistendeeply enoughtowhatwehear.Wehearthesurfaceofwhatisbeing said,butnotthedepth.Therefore,eventhoughwemayhear thesamethingoverandover,itneverchangesourbehavior.

Ithinkwealsolistentopeoplethatwaywhentheytalkto us,andthatiswhyweoftendon’trealizeweareinthe presenceofahurtingandveryneedyperson.Sadly,weheard thesoundoftheirwords,butwedidn’treallylisten.

Howoftenhasamanorawomantriedtotelltheirmarriage partnerthattheyareunfulfilled,lonely,andunhappy,justtobe ignoredortobetoldthewaytheyfeelissilly?Fartoooften, andthenabadsituationgetsworse,andtheunhappypartner istemptedtogetfromsomeoneelsewhattheyshouldbe gettinginthemarriage.Ultimatelythecoupledivorce,and manypeoplegethurt.Thepartnerwhodidn’tlistenshakes theirheadindisbeliefsaying,“Idon’tknowwhathappened.”

Butwhathappenedmaybethattheyfailedtolisten.Hadthey listened,theycouldhavesaid,“Tellmemore,becauseIwant toknowhowyoufeelandIwanttomeetyourlegitimate needs.”

Orperhapsanemployerhastoldanemployeethatsheis notsatisfiedwithhisworkperformance,orthathistardiness willnotbetoleratedlongterm,buttheemployeedoesn’treally listen.Theemployeeheardtheboss,butdidn’ttakewhatshe saidseriously.Thenheisshockedwhenheloseshisjob.I recallonemanwholosthispositionatourministryandsaid, “Ifyouweren’tsatisfiedwithmyperformance,whydidn’tyou

letmeknow?IshouldhavebeenwarnedIwasindangerof losingmyjob.”Butwehadtalkedtohimseveraltimes,andit wasevendocumentedinhisfileatwork.Heheard,buthe didn’treallylisten.

Weshouldformahabitoftrulylistening.Firstand foremost,weshouldlistentoGod.Ifwedo,itwillsaveusalot oftroubleandembarrassmentinlife.IrecalloursonDavid sayingafewyearsago,“MomandDad,Icanhonestlysay thateverytimeyouhavetocorrectmeaboutsomethingat workorabadattitudeIamhaving,Godhasalreadytriedtotell meseveraltimeswhatyouhavejusttoldme.Iwillbeglad whenIlearntolistentoHim,soIdon’thavetokeepgoing throughthepainandembarrassmentofbeingcorrectedby you.”Iamsurewecanallrelatetothatbecausewehavehad thesamethinghappentous.IfwelistentoGod,Hewillalways leadusinthewaythatweshouldgo.TheBiblesaysthat wisdomcriesoutinthestreets,butnoonelistens.

WecanloveGodbysaying,“Yes,Lord,”toallofHis instructions,butfirstwemusttrulylisten.

ListentoYourself

Listeningtoourselvescanbequiteaneducation.TheBible teachesusthatwhatwesaycomesfromourheart;therefore, wecanlearnalotaboutthedeeperthingsinusbylistening.If welearnmoreaboutourselvesandarewillingtofacetruth, thenwecanloveourselvesenoughtochange.Ifyouare willingtodisciplineyourselftochange,youareshowinglove foryourselfaswellasGodandotherpeople.Disciplining yourselftobethebestyoucanbeisdisplayingaloving

attitudetowardyourselfanditisagoodthing.Godwantsusto loveourselvesproperlybecauseweareHiscreation.

A.B.SimpsonsaidinhisbookThe Gentle Love ofthe

Holy Spirit,“Temperanceistrueself-love,andtheproper regardforourownrealinterests,whichisasmuchthedutyof loveasisregardfortheinterestsofothers.”Iwanttobesure youdon’tmissthisbeautifulpoint.Discipliningyourselftobe allyoucanbeisshowinggenuineloveforyourselfanditis justasimportantasshowingloveforotherpeople.

Ifyouhearyourselfsayingallthetimethatyouaretired, thenperhapsyoushouldlistentoyourselfandgetsomerest. Ifyoufrequentlyhearyourselfsaythatyouarestressed becauseyourscheduleistoobusy,thenperhapsyoushould makehealthychangesinyourschedule.Ifweknowwhatis wronginourlivesandwecontinuetoignoreit,thenwearenot showingproperloveforourselves.Iwillbeboldandsaythatif wedon’tloveourselvesinabalancedway,thenwereally don’tloveGodascompletelyasweshould,becauseHe commandsit.WearetoloveHimfirstandthenloveour neighborasweloveourselves.AgoodrelationshipwithGod, ourselves,andourfellowmanisnecessarytobeinfull obediencetoGod.

Weshouldalsoformahabitoflisteningtowhatwesay aboutourselves.Don’tmakedowngradingcommentsabout yourself.Don’tsaythingslike,“Iamstupid,”or“Ineverdo anythingright,”or“Iamafailure.”Iwaswithsomeone recentlywholosthiswalletandhemusthavesaidtentimes,“I amsostupid!”Ikeptsaying,“No,you’renotstupid,youjust madeamistake.”IrecallbeingonthegolfcoursewithDave andlisteningtoamaninhisgroupcallhimselfan“idiot”every

timehemadeashothedidn’tlike.Ithought,“Iwishthisman knewwhatdamageheisdoingtohisself-imagebyhisown words.”

WearetaughtinGod’sWordnottothinkmorehighlyof ourselvesthanweoughtto,andnottothinkwearebetterthan otherpeople,butwearenottaughttohavealowopinionof ourselveseither.Onceagainletmesayweshouldvalue ourselvesbecausewearecreatedinGod’sownimage.What yousayaboutyourselfisoneofthemostimportantissuesin yourlife.IthinkImentionedearlierthatithasbeen scientificallyproventhatwebelievemoreofwhatwehear ourselvessaythanwhatanyoneelsesaystous,sobecareful whatyousaytoyourself,aboutyourself!

WhatArePeopleReallySayingWhenTheyTalk?

Iamsureyouhaveheardthestatement“Itriedtoreadbetween thelines.”Peoplesaythiswhentheyhavebeentalkingto someonewhotheyfeelistryingtotellthemsomething covertly.Inotherwords,thepersonisnotbeing straightforward,butsheishopingwewillhearheranyway.

Mostofusoftenaskothers,“Howareyoutoday?”

Sometimesitisjustapolitehabit,andwereallydon’tevencare howthepersonis.Butifwedocare,thenweshouldlearnto readbetweenthelines.IfIasksomeonehowsheisandshe respondsinaweakvoice,“Okay,”sheisreallytellingmethat somethingiswrong.Sheishavingaroughday,aroughyear, oraroughlife,anditisanopportunityformetoloveherwith mywords.BecauseIhavereallylistened,Icanrealizethatthis personishurtinginsomeway,andIcanaskmyself,“Howcan

Iencourageher?”

IfIdothat,itwon’tbelongbeforeGodwilldrop somethinginmyhearttoaskorsaythatshowsIcareabout her.AsIsaidearlier,wedon’tevenneedtoknowpeoplewell todothis.Imaysaytoasalesclerkoranemployee,“Iknow youhavebeenworkingherealongtimeandIwantyouto knowthatI’venoticedyoudoareallygoodjob,”or“Thank youforhelpingme.”Thiscanmakeahugedifferenceforthe personwhoistiredandweary.

Sometimesweaskpeoplehowtheyareandtheyare honestandtellus,butwedon’twanttotaketimetotrulyhear theirsadstory,sowesaysomethingthatmeansnothingto them,andthenrunofftoournextthinginlife.Haveyouever toldsomeonehowyoureallywerewhenheaskedandseenhim cringe orsay,“That’stoobad,”andchangethesubjectas soonaspossible?Haveyoueverbeenthepersonattheother endofthatexchange?

Asuccessfulbusinesswomanrecentlysharedthestoryof themostimportantlessonsheeverlearnedinschool.During aneconomicsclass,herprofessortoldhisstudentstoput awaytheirnotebooks;hewasgivingthema“popquiz.”She wasagoodstudentandhadbreezedthroughthequestions untilshereadthelastone:“Whatisthefirstnameofthe womanwhocleanstheschool?”Surelythiswassomekindofa joke,shethought.

Shehadseenthecleaningwomanseveraltimes.Shewas tall,dark-haired,andinherfifties.Buthowwouldthestudent knowhername?Shehandedinherpaper,leavingthelast questionblank.Justbeforetheclassended,onestudentasked ifthelastquestionwouldcounttowardthequizgrade.

“Absolutely,”saidtheprofessor.“Inyourcareers,youwill meetmanypeople.Allaresignificant.Theydeserveyour attentionandcare,evenifallyoudoissmileandsay‘hello.’” Thebusinesswomansays,“I’veneverforgottenthatlesson.I alsolearnedthathernamewasDorothy.”

Jesusstoppedforpeopleallthetime.Hehadaschedule,a plan,andapurposeaswedo,butHealwayshadtimefor people,especiallyiftheywerehurting.Hestoppedforablind man,acrippledman,thewomanwiththeissueofblood,the motherwhosesonhaddied,anarmyofficerwhoseservantwas sick,thefatherwhosedaughterwasdying,littlechildren,and anyoneelsewhohadaneed.WhenJesusmetthemanwho waslyingatthepoolofBethesdawaitingforamiracle,He askedhimhowlonghehadbeenlyingtherecrippled.Ithink Heaskedthatquestionjusttoshowcareandcompassion.He alreadyknewthatHecouldhealtheman,butwasinterested enoughtowanttoknowmoreabouthim.

Doyoueverfindyourselfnotaskingpeoplequestions becauseyoudon’twanttotakethetimetolistentotheir answer?Iknowthatsoundsterrible,butifweadmitit,we probablyallfeelthatwayattimes.Wegetsocaughtupin whatwearedoingthatwemissopportunitiestolistentoand loveotherseveryday.

Wordsarepowerful.Weshouldallmakeacommitmentto useourwordstolovepeopleandbuildthemup.Butdon’t forgetthatwemustfirstlearntotrulylisten.Everydaywhen weleaveourhomes,wearegoingintoasocietythatis drowningintragedy.Godhasgivenustheabilitytohelp others.Hehasgivenuswords,andifweusethemproperly, theycanbelifechanging.

Don’t Let the Devil Speak ThroughYou

Youmighthavebeentemptedtojustskipoverthischapter, thinking,“Thatcertainlyisn’tme.Idon’tletthedevilspeak throughme!”Ifso,Iunderstandhowyoumightfeel,but pleasereadonjustincasethereissomethinghereforyouto learn.

Ifweallowthedeviltospeakthroughus,thenweareina mannerofspeaking“workingforhim.”Forexample,heis referredtoas“theAccuserofthebrethren.”Thatmeanshe continuallybringsaccusationagainstthechildrenofGod, tryingtoaccusethemtoGod,tomakethemfeelguiltyand condemned,andeventocauseotherstothinkaccusing thoughtsaboutthem.Ifweallowthataccusingspirittowork throughus,thenwewilleasilyandquicklyfindfaultwithmany peopleandthings.Thedevilalsoaccusesustoourselves.He placesaccusingthoughtsinourminds,orbringsaccusation fromotherpeople.TheBiblesaysthatweovercomehimbythe bloodoftheLamb,andthewordofourtestimony(see Revelation12:10–11).IfweknowthetruthofGod’sWordand actonit,wecandefeatthedevil!

Thedevilmagnifiesfaults oursandotherpeople’s. UnlesswetrulylistentoGod,wewillfocusonlyonfaultsand failtoseethegoodinourselvesorotherpeople.Satanand anyoneinfluencedbyhimalwaysfocusesonwhatiswrong andtheyblowitoutofproportionsothatitseemsevenbigger andworsethanwhatittrulyis.

CastOuttheFaultfinder

Thedevilisafaultfinder,andifweonlyfocusonwhatis wronginlifeandwithourselvesandotherpeople,thenweare takingournaturefromhim.However,Godhasgivenusanew natureifwearetrulyHischildrenandwemustlearntofunction fromtherenewedpartofourbeing.TheBiblesaysweareto putofftheoldmanandputonthenewmanthatisre-createdin JesusChrist(seeEphesians4:22–24).Put on and put offare phrasesthatrequireustotakeactionthatoftengoesbeyond howwefeel.IfwearegoingtooperateinthenewnatureGod hasgivenus,thenwewillhavetoinitiallybeginbydoingiton purpose.Aswefollowtheleadingofourrenewedspiritand theHolySpiritWhodwellsinus,wewilldevelopnewhabits, butitdoestaketime.Godoperatesontheprincipleof“gradual growth,”andthatmeansthingschangelittlebylittle.Tosee thefullnessofGod’splancometopass,wemustbepatient andlearntocelebrateourprogress.Weneedtorecognizehow farwehavecomeinreachingourgoals,andnotonlyseehow farwestillhavetogo.

IwilladmitthatformanyyearsofmylifeIwasdefinitelya faultfinder,andinbeingthatway,Iwashelpingtheenemyin hiscause,butIdidn’tknowthatIwas.EventhoughIwasa Christian,Iwaslettingthedevilusemymouth.Iwasignorant ofmanyoftheprinciplesofGod,andespeciallyhowimportant mywordswere.Inotonlynoticedpeople’sfaults,buttold themandotherpeopleallaboutthem.Iwasafaultfinder,a gossiper,aslanderer,andanaccuser,andIamnotproudofit, butIdidhavetoadmititinordertofindfreedomfromit.Iwant toencourageyoutobehonestwithyourselfeventhoughitis

usuallyverypainfulforustodoso.Areyouonewhoeasily noticeswhatiswrongwitheverythingandeveryone?Orare youmoreinclinedtoseethegoodinlifeandpeople?Ifyoudo noticewhatiswrong,areyouabletoreasonwithyourselfand say,“Ihavefaultsalso,andGodhasnotcalledmetojudge andcondemn,buttoprayforandlovepeople”?Ordoyounot onlyseewhatiswrong,buttalkaboutittowhoeverwilllisten?

Notonlydowetendtotalkaboutwhatiswrongwith people,butwealsoleantowardtalkingaboutwhatiswrongin theworld,thegovernment,ourjobs,neighborhoods,etcetera.

IcanhonestlysaythatmostofwhatIhearpeopletalking aboutissomethingthatiswrongsomewhereorwith somebody.Itistruethatwehavealotofevilintheworld today,butGodisstillworkingandHeisgreaterthananything oranyone.Let’stalkaboutallthegoodwecanandrecount andrecallallofthewonderfulthingsthatGodhasmade,has done,andisdoing.LetusmagnifyGodratherthantheworks ofwickednessthatweseearoundus.

NegativetalkisveryunattractivetoGod,andactually,He hatesit.ThankfullyHedoesloveusunconditionally,butit reallysaddensHimwhenweusethepowerofwordsinsucha negativeway.Heknowsthedamagetheydoandwantsusto knowitalso.

Inspeakingofunbelievers,theapostlePaulsays“they werefilled…witheverykindofunrighteousness,iniquity, graspingandcovetousgreed,andmalice.[Theywere]fullof envyandjealousy,murder,strife,deceitandtreachery,illwill, andcruelways.[Theywere]secretbackbitersandgossipers” (Romans1:29).Ifthesearethetraitsofunbelievers,thenthose ofuswhoconsiderourselvesbelieversinGodandHischildren

certainlyshouldn’tdisplaythesetraits.Ialsofinditinteresting thatPaulplacesgossipinthesamelistasmurderanddeceit.I thinkthisshouldwakeusupandhelpusrealizehowserious thesesinsare.

WomenBeware

Ifyou wouldn’t write it and sign it,don’t say it.

EarlWilson

AfewtimestheBiblesinglesoutwomen,tellingthemnotto

gossip.

[The]womenlikewisemustbeworthyofrespectand serious,notgossipers,buttemperateandselfcontrolled,[thoroughly]trustworthyinallthings.

1 Timothy 3:11

Womenmustnotonlyavoidgossiping,butalsobe trustworthy.Andthatmeanswemustkeeppeople’ssecrets. Ofcourse,thesamethingappliestomen,butthisscripture singlesoutwomen.Womenaremorelikelytofallpreytothese typesof“wordsins”thanmen.Ihonestlycannotimagine Davegoingoutforadayofgolfandheandhisbuddiestalking aboutsomeofthethingsthatIhearwomentalkabout.Asfar askeepingsecretsgoes,DaveismuchbetteratitthanIam. Forexample,ifweplantodosomethingreallycoolforour childrenforChristmas,Icannotwaittotellthem,butDave wouldsay,“JustwaittillChristmas,”anditwouldn’tmatterto himifChristmaswereelevenmonthsaway.

Proverbstellsusaboutthevirtuouswoman,anditsays:

Shelookswelltohowthingsgoinherhousehold,and thebreadofidleness(gossip,discontentandself-pity) shewillnoteat.

Proverbs 31:27

TheapostlePaulsentinstructionstoTimothyonhowto handlewidowsandwhotruewidowsare.Hesaidthatyounger widowsshouldnotbeputontherollsassomeonethechurch wouldprovidefor;otherwisetheymightgetboredandwander fromhousetohouseasidlersandbusybodies,sayingwhat theyshouldnotsayandtalkingofthingsthattheyshouldnot mention(see1Timothy5:11–13).Ifindittobeinterestingthat Paulteachestokeepyoungerwomenbusyworkingorraising familiessotheydon’tgetboredandstartgossiping.Older womenhavehopefullygainedwisdomandknowhowtouse theirtimewiselyindoinggooddeedsforothers,butyoungor old,thetraitofgossipisdefinitelyasymptomofspiritual immaturity.

WhatAboutMen?

TheapostlePaulalsowritesspecificallytomenstatingthata leadershouldnotbeanewconvert,lesthismindbeclouded byprideandhefallintoastupidstateofmindthinkingmore highlyofhimselfthanheought.Paulalsomentionedthatthe newconvertmightgetinvolvedinslanderandfallintothe devil’strap(see1Timothy3:6–7).Weseethatgossipand slanderarethedevil’sbusiness,andwhenweallowhimtouse ourmouthforit,wehavefallenintohistrap.Wealsoseethat

thistypeofbehaviorisnotsuitableforanyoneinapositionof leadershipofanytype.

Menorwomenwhotalktoomuchmustbewareof gossiping,spreadingrumors,andnotkeepingpeople’ssecrets. Agossiperisaverydangerousperson.Itseemsweallliketo tellataleandweusuallyaddabittoit.Bythetimeitgoes throughadozenpeople,itmaybecomeawicked,ungodlytale thatisusedtodestroypeople’sreputationsandlives.

IrecentlyreadanitemthatIwanttosharewithyou.Itis called,“IAmGossip,”andit’sapowerfulreminderofthe qualitiesofgossip.

IAmGossip

Mynameisgossip.

Ihavenorespectforjustice.

Imaimwithoutkilling.Ibreakheartsandruinlives.

Iamcunning,maliciousandgatherstrengthwith age.

ThemoreIamquoted,themoreIambelieved.

Iflourishateverylevelofsociety.

Myvictimsarehelpless.

Theycannotprotectthemselvesagainstmebecause Ihavenonameandnoface.

Totrackmedownisimpossible.Theharderyoutry, themoreelusiveIbecome.

Iamnobody’sfriend.

OnceItarnishareputation,itisneverthesame.

Itopplegovernmentsandwreckmarriages.Iruin careersandcausesleeplessnights,heartachesand

indigestion.

Ispawnsuspicionandgenerategrief.

Imakeinnocentpeoplecryintheirpillows.Evenmy namehisses.

IamcalledGOSSIP,officegossip shopgossip partygossip telephonegossip.Imakeheadlinesand headaches.REMEMBER,whenyourepeatastory,ask yourself:Isittrue?Isitfair?Isitnecessary?Ifnot,do notrepeatit.KEEPQUIET!

Sometimesthepowerofnowordsisthegreatestpowerof all!SirWinstonChurchillsaid,“Byswallowingevilwords unsaid,noonehaseverharmedhisstomach.”

Weallneedtobestronginresistingthedevil’s temptationstosaythingsthatarehurtfulandneedless.He lovestouseusforhisdirtywork,butGodwantstouseusfor Hisglory.Godwantstouseourwordstoencourage,butthe devilwantstousethemtodiscourage,destroyreputations,or breakanother’sspirit.Manypeopleareleftbrokenhearted becauseofunkind,untruewordsspokentothemorabout them.

Aspecialwordofcautiontoparents:Wemustbecareful asparentsnottobetoohardonourchildrenorwemightbreak theirspirit.Thatmeansthechildwouldmerelygiveupandfind nocouragetotrytodowhatisright.Ifwefindtoomuchfault withpeopleanddon’tevergiveencouragement,theysoon becomeoverwhelmedandfeelasiftheycan’tpleaseusno matterwhattheydo.Don’tgossipaboutyourchildren’sfaults toanyone,andifatallpossible,correcttheminprivateinorder topreventothersfromformingacriticalopinionofthem.Ifyou

haveadultchildren,don’trepeattoanotherofyourchildren whatonehasdonetodispleaseyou.Gossipwithinthefamily stirsupstrife,butlove covers amultitudeofsins.

AnytimeIneedtocorrectanemployee,Ialwaystellthe personwhatheisdoingandhasdonerightbeforetellinghim whathe’sdoingwrong.Someliquidmedicinescontainsugar, otherwisetheywouldbealmostimpossibletoswallow.People canreceiveorswallowourcorrectionsmuchbetteriftheyare coatedinalittlesugar.Dothesamethingswithyourchildren whenyouneedtocorrectthem.Don’ttellthemwhattheyare doingwrongwithouttellingthemwhattheydoright!

Correctionisnecessary.Godcorrectsandchastisesthose whomHeloves,butHealsocompliments,blesses,rewards, andhonorsthem.Besureyoumakeabigdealoutof everythingyourchildrenoranyoneelseunderyourauthority doeswell,andtheywillloveandtrustyouenoughtoreceive godlycorrectionfromyou.

TheSlanderer

Iftheserpentbitesbeforeitischarmed,thenitisno usetocallacharmer[andtheslandererisnobetter thantheuncharmedsnake].Ecclesiastes 10:11

Wow!Thatisastrongscripture,anditmakesmerealize howseriousitistoslanderanotherperson.Accordingto Vine’s Dictionary ofthe Bible,theword slanderer is diabolos intheGreeklanguage.ThissameGreekwordisoneofthe namesgiventothedevil,andmeans“anaccuser,aslanderer, ortomalign.”Aslandererissomeonewhoisgiventofinding

faultwiththedemeanorandconductofothers,andspreading innuendosandcriticisms.

Whenwesayslanderousthingsaboutpeopletoothers, weliterallypoisontheirspiritandattitudetowardthem.The Biblesaysthatwemakethemavictim.

Thewordsofawhispererorslandererarelikedainty morselsorwordsofsport[tosome,buttoothersare likedeadlywounds];andtheygodownintothe innermostpartsofthebody[orofthevictim’snature].

Proverbs 26:22

Carefulexaminationofthisscriptureteachesusalot.First ofall,whatissportoramusementtoonepersoncanbea deadlywoundtoanother.Wemayenjoygivingournegative opinionsaboutpeople,buttheygodownintothe“victim’s” innermostparts.Thepersonwearetalkingtoeitherbelieves thereport,orevenifhechoosesnottobelieveit,hestillhasto resistthesuspicionthatcontinuestoriseupinhismind.

AfewdaysagoIsawsomeonethatIknewatagathering, andafewsecondsafterIaskedhowhewas,hetoldme somethinghehadheardthatwasverycriticalaboutsomeone webothknew.Itwasarumor,andthepersontellingmehadno proofandnoreasontotellmethestory.Ilistenedforaminute andthenIsaid,“IwillnotbelievethatunlessIknowitfora fact.”However,Ihavestillhadtheslandercomebacktomy thoughtsafewtimesandfoundmyselfwondering,“Canthat possiblybetrue?”ThepersonIwastalkingtohasbeena Christianforalongtimeandprobablyknewitwaswrongto relaythestory,buthediditanyway.Gossipisatypeofverbal

terrorism.

Todestroysomebody’sgoodnameistocommitakind ofmurder.Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

Howoftendowesaysomethingtosomeoneandwalkoff thinkingnomoreaboutit,butwehavepoisonedtheir innermostbeingwithourvenomouswords?Slanderisa seriousproblem,anditistimethatweallstoplettingthedevil useourmouthsforit.Thisisdefinitelyanareawherewe shouldapplywhatiscommonlycalledtheGoldenRule:“Do untoothersasyouwouldhavethemdountoyou.”Ifweall stoppedandaskedourselves,“WouldIwantsomeonetosay thisaboutme?”beforeslanderinganother,we’dprobably refrainfromspeakingillofothers.

WhydidthepersonIwastalkingtosaywhathedideven thoughIsuspectheknewitwaswrong?Itisbecausewhatthe apostleJamessaidisabsolutelytrue:“Andthetongueisafire. [Thetongueisa]worldofwickednesssetamongourmembers, contaminatinganddepravingthewholebodyandsettingon firethewheelofbirth(thecycleofman’snature),beingitself ignitedbyhell”(James3:6).

Wemustrememberthatusingourwordsinawaythat tearsothersdownisoneofthestrongesttemptationsweface, andwecannottameourtongueswithouttrustingGodto convictusofsinanytimewestarttosaysomethingthatisnot pleasingtoHim.GodwilldoHispart,butthenwemustbe committedtorespondwithobedience.Iwastalkingonthe phonetoafriendthismorningandwasaskedaboutatroubling situationwehavebeendealingwith.Wetalkedforafew

minutesandIstartedfeelingupsetemotionally,soIjustsaidto her,“ItisbestifIdon’ttalkaboutthis,becauseallitdoesis upsetme.”Ihandleditproperlythistime,butmanytimesinthe pastIwouldhavekepttalkingeventhoughIwasgettinga lovingreminderfromtheHolySpirittostop.

Jesussaidthatweshouldstopallowingourselvestobe upsetanddisturbed,andinsteadweshouldenjoythepeace thatHeleftus(seeJohn14:27).SincepeaceisHiswillandthe Biblefirmlyteachesustofollowpeaceandletitbetheumpire inourlives,decidingwithfinalityallthingsthatneed decisions,itwasn’tthatdifficultformetorealizethatifIwas feelingupset,Ineededtostoptalking.Whycontinuetalking untilIwassoupsetthatImighthavespenttherestoftheday miserable?

Whatwewerediscussingwasn’taslanderoussituation, butitwascausingmetolosemypeaceandIknewIneededto stoptalking.IhavealsoexperiencedtimeswhenIwastalking aboutsomeoneandstartedlosingmypeaceandknewthatI neededtostop.OneofthemainwaysthatGodspeakstousis throughHispeace.Ifwehaveit,thenwehaveagreenlight andcanproceedforwardwithourcurrentactions.Butifwe havelostthatwonderfulpeace,itisaredlightandmeans STOP.

Slander,gossip,backbiting,andfaultfindingaresins,and theyshouldnotbelookedatas“acceptable”sins,asthey oftenare.Thesetypesofwordsandconversationsarenot acceptabletoGod,andtheyspirituallydamageus,andthose wetalkto.

HowtoHandleaSlanderer

Itisimportantforustoknowhowtohandlesomeoneinour presencethatisslanderinganother.Whatshouldyoudoif youarewithafriendwhobeginsgossipingaboutsomeone? Believeitornot,theadvicemaybedifferentdependingon whetheryouarewithabelieveroranunbeliever.

Ifyouarewithanunbelieverwhohasnoknowledgethat theirbehavioriswrong,youmighthavetojustwaituntilyou canfindagoodwaytogetawayfromtheconversationwithout beingtooobvious.Makesurethatyoudon’tparticipateinany slanderoragreewithit,butcorrectingthepersonmight alienateherandprobablyclosethedoortoanyfuture opportunityyoumighthavetoshareyourfaithinGodwith her.Anotherthingwecandoinasituationlikethisistogently trytoturntheconversationtoamorepositiveonebyinserting somegoodcommentsabouttheonebeingslandered.

IfyouarewithaChristianwhodoesknowbetter,thento sitidlybyandsayordonothingiswrong.Youmightsay somethinglike,“Ireallydon’twanttotalkaboutthis,”or“I don’tthinkitisrightforustotalkaboutthis,”or“Thereare twosidestoeverystoryandwedon’tknowenoughtoforman opinion.”Paultaughtthatweshouldcorrectthoseovertaken insinormisconductcourteously,keepinganattentiveeyeon ourselveslestwealsofallintosin(seeGalatians6:1).Alltoo oftenwesitbyanddonothing,usingtheexcusethatwedon’t wanttohurtanyone’sfeelings.Whenwedothis,wearenot helpingothersorourselves.Youwouldn’tsitbywhileafriend robbedabank,wouldyou?Ofcourseyouwouldn’tdothat,so thenwhydoyousitbywhileafriendslandersorgossips?Itis onlybecausethesesinshavebecomeacceptableinsociety, butthatdoesnotmakethemright.

TheBibleteachesusthatinthelastdays,evilwill increase.Itsaysthatpeoplewillbeloversofselfandutterly self-centered.Theywillbeproud,boasters,disrespectful, unholy,slanderers(falseaccusers),andtroublemakers,loosein morals,hatersofwhatisgood,et cetera (see2Timothy3:3).

Weareintheworldandcannotalwaysavoidallthe peoplewhoengageinbehavioraswehavementioned,butwe mustavoidjoininginwiththem.Inordertobeagoodexample tounbelieversorevenbelieverswhoaresinning,wemustbe carefulnottodowhattheydo.Wedon’twanttogivethe impressionthatwethinkwearebetterthantheyare,butwe mustlovingly,humbly,andgentlydeclinetobeinvolvedin conversationandotherbehaviorsthatweknowaredispleasing toGod.

TheapostlePaultoldtheCorinthiansnottoassociate withabelieverwhowas“guiltyofimmoralityorgreed”or“an idolater”or“apersonwithafoultongue[railing,abusing, reviling,slandering]”(1Corinthians5:11).Itseemstomeafter studyingthisverseofscripturethatIcouldmoreeasily associate(notclosely)withanunbelieverdoingthesethings thansomeonewhobearsthenameofChristian.

Ibelieveweareobligatedinlovetogentlyremindother Christiansthattheyshouldnotslander,andweoughttopray forfriendswhowillalsoholdusaccountableinareasofour ownconduct.Itisembarrassingtohavesomeonesay,“You shouldn’tbetalkinglikethat”;however,itusuallyputsanend toit,andhopefullyteachesalesson.

Inthissamechapter,PaultoldtheCorinthiansnotto associatecloselyandhabituallywithimpurepeople.Hesaid, however,thatwecouldnotavoidthemaltogether;otherwise

wewouldhavetogetoutoftheworld.Butthenhesaidnotto associateoreveneatamealwithsomeoneclaimingtobea Christianwhoindulgesintheseimmoralbehaviors.

Inbringinguptheseverses,Iamprobablyopeningacan ofworms,andIcanalmosthearyourquestionsrightnow.For example,“Joyce,Iammarriedtoanunbelieverandhegossips allthetimeabouteveryone.Areyoutellingmenottoassociate withhim?”Ithinktheanswertothisquestionistousewisdom. Youcannotavoidthepeopleinyourownimmediatefamily,but youdon’thavetochoosetohaveaslandererforagoodfriend. Youdon’thavetositatalunchtableeachdaywhereallthe peopleareslanderingtheboss.WhenaChristianfriend slanderssomeone,youshouldtellherthatyoudon’twantto hearit,orthatyouwillnotbelieveitwithoutproof.Wewould noteatpoisonifitwasofferedtous,sowhyshouldwebe involvedinsomethingthatGodspecificallytellsuswillpoison ourinnermostparts?

Letuschoosetospeakwordsoflifeandnotdeath.Not oneofusshouldbeguiltyoflettingthedeviluseourmouthto harmordestroythereputationofanother.Ifafterreadingthis chapteryourealizethatperhapsyouhavebeenworkingforthe devilbylendinghimyourmouth,thenturninyourresignation todayandnevergobacktoworkforhimagain.

Do YouReally Have to Give Your Opinion?

Inthepreviouschapterweuncoveredaproblemthatweall dealwithinsomewayoranother.Weareeitherguiltyof gossip,faultfinding,slander,andbackbiting,orwedealwith peoplewhoare.Weknowthatthedevilistherootcauseofall thesesins,butourdesiretogiveouropinionisalsoinvolved. Whyisitsoimportantforustotellpeoplewhatwethink?

Givingone’sopinionwhennobodyisaskingforitisa majorsourceofrelationshipproblems,andalsothecauseofa lotofthe“wordsins”wehavebeendiscussing.

Wehaveopinionsaboutwhatpeopleshouldwear,who theyshouldandshouldn’tmarry,whatkindofhometheybuy, thecartheydrive,theirhairstyle,andevenhowtheyinvest theirmoney.Inourpride,wetendtothinkthateveryone shoulddowhatwearedoingorwoulddo,andwhenthey don’t,itleadstousjudgingthem,beingcritical,gossiping,and possiblyslanderingthem.Justthinkaboutit allthesehuge problemscamefromaninordinatedesiretogiveouropinion.

MindYourOwnBusiness

Makeityourambitionanddefinitelyendeavortolive quietlyandpeacefully,tomindyourownaffairs,and toworkwithyourhands,aswechargedyou.1

Thessalonians 4:11

Asincereconsiderationofthisscripturerevealsseveralthings. First,livingpeacefullymustbeourambition,andwewillhave toworkatit.WhenthewriterofThessalonianssayswemust “definitely endeavor” tolivequietlyandpeacefully,heis sayingitwillneedtobeagoalwepursuezealously.Wemust alsobewillingtomakewhateverchangesnecessaryinorderto reachthisgoal.Second,ifwewishtoreachthegoalofpeace, wewillneedtolearntomindourownbusiness,andinstead giveourselvestotheworkwearecalledtodo.Ifyouarea personwhofreelygivesoutopinions,butyouarereadyto change,thenthefirststeptowardchangeistoadmititisa probleminyourlifeandaskGodtohelpyouchange.

Myentirefamilyisopinionated,includingme,soIknow firsthandthechallengeofmindingmyownbusiness.With God’shelpandlotsofcontemplation,Ihavemadealotof progress,butIstillhavetodisciplinemyselftokeepquiet aboutmyownopinionswhenIamtemptedtogetinvolvedina situationthatistrulynoneofmybusiness.Weallhave enoughbusinessofourowntotendto,withoutneedingtoget involvedinotherpeople’suninvited.God’sWordtellsusto “discovernotanddisclosenotanother’ssecret”(Proverbs 25:9).Wearecuriousandoftenquitenosyandaretemptedto getintootherpeople’sbusiness.Wejustplainliketoknow,or thinkweknow,whatisgoingoneverywhere,anditendsup stealingourpeace.Didyoueverdigaroundandfindout something,andthenwishedyouhadnot?Icertainlyknowthat Ihave.AlthoughGodwantsustobeknowledgeable,itisthe rightkindofknowledgethatHewantsustohave.Whenit comestodiscoveringthesecretsofothers,wecanapplythe saying“Whatwedon’tknowcan’thurtus.”Ihavecometo

realizethatIcanavoidalotofdramainmylifebystayingout ofthingsthatarenoneofmybusiness.Platosaid,“Wisemen talkbecausetheyhavesomethingtosay;foolstalkbecause theyhavetosaysomething.”

Iliketoknowthe“why”ofthings,solet’sponderwhywe aresoopinionated.Ithinkitmakesusfeelsuperioror importanttogiveouropinionsonissues,butifwearetruthful, wewillalsoadmitthatdoingsoisthecauseofmany arguments.PerhapsifwecometoknowourvalueinChrist morefully,wewon’tsearchforoursenseofimportancein ungodlyways.Awisemanorwomanlistensmorethantalks, asIhavealreadysaid Godhasgivenustwoearsandone mouthasastrongindicatorthatwearetolistenmorethanwe talk.Whenwetalkallthetime,werarelyhearwhatothersare sayingbecausewhiletheyaretalking,wearebusyformingin ourmindswhatwewillsaywhentheystoptalking.The inordinatedesiretotellotherswhatwethinkandgiveour opinionisonesurewayofrecognizinginsecurityinusorin others.

Asecurepersonknowswhathebelieves,buthehasno needtotellothersunlesssomeoneistrulyinterested.Ifheis askedforanopinionandfindsitismetwithresistance,hehas noneedto“convince”peoplethatheisright.

Inmyyoungeryears,Iwasveryinsecureandfeltquite undonewhenpeopledidn’tagreewithme.Ifound communicationwithmyhusbandnearlyimpossibleandreally didnotunderstandwhy.ThenGodrevealedtomethatifDave didn’tagreewithme,Ifeltrejected,andIneededtorealizehe wasfreetohavehisownopinionswithouthavingtoagree withmeinordertomakemefeelgoodaboutmyself.Whenhe

didn’tagree,Irepeatedlytriedtoconvincehimthatmyopinion wascorrect,andheendedupfeelingmanipulatedand controlled.Irecallonetimesaying,“Weneedtotalkabout this,”andhesaid,“Joyce,wedon’ttalk.Youtalkandwantme tolistenandagreewitheverythingyousay.”Whathesaid hurt,butitwastrue.Thetruthaboutususuallyhurts,but facingitistheonlypathwaytofreedom.

Ivaluedmyownopinionmorethananyoneelse’s,andI didn’tlistenwithanopenmindtowhatothershadtosay.The truthwasthatIdidn’tknowanythingatallaboutthethingsin lifethattrulymatterbecauseIwasnotastudentofGod’s Word.Iwenttochurch,butIdidnotknowGodorHis characterintimately.Thefirstsignthatwearegainingwisdom iswhenwecometoknowthatwedon’tknowanythingatall, andwehumblyaskGodtobeginteachingus.

Iwanttoaddthatduringthoseyearsofbeingexcessively opinionatedandhavingdeep-seatedinsecurity,Ihadno peace.Mylifeseemedlikeoneendlessfrustration!Itwasonly afterIbegantocraveandpursuepeacethatIrealizedthatone ofthecausesformylackofpeacewasgettinginvolvedin otherpeople’sbusiness.Doyourselfafavorandmindyour ownbusinessbecauseitwillincreaseyourpeace,andan increaseofpeacealwaysleadstomorejoy.Havingpeace shouldbemoreimportanttousthananythingelse,andwe shouldbewillingtodowhateverwemustinordertohaveit, includingkeepingouropinionstoourselvesandmindingour ownbusiness!

LettingYourChildrenGrowUp

Oneofthemostdifficultareastomindourownbusinessinis withouradultchildren.Wearesoaccustomedtotellingthem whattodowhiletheyarechildrenlivingathomethatwemust consciouslymakeatransitionintolettingthemlivetheirown liveswithoutinterferencefromus.DaveandIhavefourgrown children,andwespendalotoftimewiththem,soIhavealot ofopportunitytopracticemindingmyownbusiness.

SometimesIambetteratitthanothers,butthankfullyIamstill learningandgrowingallthetime.

Recentlyoneofourdaughtersandherhusband purchasedanewhome,andweofferedtohelpthemwiththe costofthefurnituretheywouldneed.Ilovetoplayaround withdecoratingandwasexcitedaboutbeinginvolvedinthe project.Iassumedthatshewouldwanttodecorateherhome likemine,orsomethingclosetothat,butshechosetogo totallymodern.Atthatpointmyopinionsbegantorolloutof mymouthandIquicklyobservedthattheywerenotgoingto promotepeace.Afterafewroundsoftryingtogethertolike whatIliked,Iremindedmyselfthathowshedecoratedwas reallynoneofmybusiness.Sincewewerehelpingfinancially withtheproject,Ihadtoremindmyselfafewtimestomindmy ownbusiness!Ihadtorememberthatwhenwegive,wemust doitwithnostringsattached,orotherwiseitisnotatruegift, butacovertmethodofcontrol.Iknewthesethings,andteach themtoothers,butnomatterhowmuchwehavelearned,itwill betestedfromtimetotime.

Shedidaskformyopiniononlotsofthingsconcerning thedecorating,butshealsoaskedafewotherpeopleinthe family,anditquicklybecameobviousthatmyotherchildren couldhelphermorethanIcould.Theirtastesweremoresimilar

tohers,anditjustmadeeverythingeasierformetoenjoy payingthebillasatotalblessing,andyetnotneedtogivemy opinionuselessly.

Therewereseveralareasthatshewelcomedandtookmy advicein,butmanythatshedidnot,andmypointisthatshe hadeveryrighttodoso.Whenwetrulylovepeople,weset themfreetobethemselvesandevenlearntoadmirewhatthey likeasacomplimenttotheirgoodtaste.Shedidn’tdecoratethe wayIwouldhave,butshedidanexcellentjobandherhomeis lovely.Everyonebeingdifferentiswhatmakeslifeinteresting sowhydowefightitsofuriously?Itcanonlybeduetopride!

Wehavegrownalotinourfamilyrelationshipsandhave cometoanagreementthatifwegiveanopinionanditis rejected,itisokay.Weallhavetherighttoliveourownlives. Wealsohaveboundaries,andthatisveryimportant.

Boundariesmeanthatsomeareasarenotevenopento opinionsfromothers,andwerespectoneanother’s boundaries.Someofourchildrenaskforadvicemorethan others,andwhentheydo,wegiveitandweareexcitedthat theyask,buteventhentheydon’talwaystakeouradviceand wehavelearnednottotryto“convince”themthatweare right.

Ifyouwanttohavehealthyrelationshipswithyouradult children,youmustlearntorespecttheirrighttoruntheirown lives,andeventhoughyoursinceredesiremaybeto“help” them,youstillcannotintrudeintotheirbusiness.Thisisoneof themainwayswecanletourchildrengrowup.Theyhaveto maketheirownchoices,andsometimesthatmeanstheirown mistakes.Thereisnobetterteacherthanmistakeswemakeand havetolivewithforatime.

Walkinwisdomandgiveyouropiniononlywhen someoneasksforitandthendoitwithhumility.

RightTiming

Isthereeveratimewhenitisrighttogiveyouropinion?The answeris“yes.”Ouropinionsareoftenwelcomeandcantruly helpothers,sotherearetimeswhenyoushouldgiveyour opinion.AsIhavesaid,giveyouropinionwithhumilityand don’ttrytoconvincesomeoneelsethatyouareright.Thenext acceptabletimetospeakupiswhenyousincerelyknowthe personisheadedfortroubleandyouronlydesireistohelphim avoidit.

Let’ssaythatInoticedamaleemployeewhoismarried payingtoomuchattentiontoanotherwoman.Ihaveprayed aboutitandbelievethatGodwantsmetospeaktohim.I shouldgoinanattitudeofhumility,keepinganattentiveeye onmyself,too(seeGalatians6:1),andmakehimawareofhow hisactionsappeartoothers,andiftheycontinue,theywilllead totroubleforallinvolved.Irecallatimelikethiswhenthe personIspoketowasveryappreciativeandhadnotrealized hewasbeingslowlybroughtintoasituationthatwouldhave endedbadly.Heimmediatelymadechangesandwasgrateful fortheadvice.Ihavebeeninvolvedinothersimilarcases wherethepeoplebeingconfrontedmadeoneexcuseafter another,wereverydefensiveandoffended,andendedup destroyingtheirlives.

Itwasmyresponsibilitytospeaktothemabouttheir behavior,butinthosecases,Iwasnotmerelygivingmy opinion,butsharinggodlywisdom.

Awordspokenindueseasoncanbeoneofthemost valuablethingsintheworld,butoutofseason,itcanbevery destructive.

Whenouropinionismerely“ouropinion,”itisnotvery valuable,butifitisbasedonGod’swisdom,itbecomes anotherthingentirely.

StayWithinYourSphereofInfluence

Peopleoftenaskformyadvicebecauseofthepositionof influenceGodhasgivenme.Weallhaveasphereofinfluence, anareathatGodhasgivenussomeauthorityover.Ihave authorityoverthingsconcerningJoyceMeyerMinistries,but GodhastaughtmethatIamnotthebossathome.Imaybe soughtafterforadviceandaskedformyopinionfrequentlyat work,butathomeIamDave’swife,andinthatspherehehas thetoppositionofauthorityandshouldbetreatedwith respectandadmiration.Idon’tneedtogivehimmyopinion abouthiseverymovebecauseitmakeshimfeelthatIdon’t trusthimandvaluehisabilitytobetheleaderinourfamily.

EvenattheofficethereareareasthatIhaveresponsibility forandareasthatDavehasresponsibilityfor.Forexample,he hasalwaystakencareoftheministryfinancesandmakesthe finaldecisionsconcerningourtelevisionandradioministry.I amresponsibleformywriting,teaching,preaching,andcertain areasofleadershipattheoffice.Webothknowoursphereof influenceandshowrespectforeachotherintheirs.

Youmighthaveapositionofauthorityatwork,butdon’t trytotakethatauthorityintoaspherewhereGodhasgiven younoauthority.Weshouldknowhowtoassumeauthority

whenitisproperandhowtoacceptanother’sauthoritywhen thatisproper.Ifapersononlyknowshowtobossothers around,heistrulyimmatureandveryprideful.

Youhaveauthorityoveryourchildren,butyouhaveno sphereofinfluenceoverotherpeople’schildren;therefore, youropinionabouthowtheyraisetheirchildrenisnotneeded, norisitusuallywelcome.Wehaveauthorityoverourown finances,butdon’tneedtogiveouropinionregardinghow otherpeoplemanagetheirs.Peoplegivetheiropinionabout thingsotherspurchase,oftenstatingthattheythinkthe personhadnobusinessbuyingsuchandsuch,ordidn’tneed anewautomobile,newhome,ormoreclothes.Whilejudging howwethinkotherswastetheirmoney,weareoftenbeing wastefulinareasthatweareblindedtobyourpride.

AskGodtohelpyoustaywithinyoursphereofinfluence anddon’tgobeyondyourGod-ordainedborders,especially whenyouareuninvited.

IncreaseYourPeace

Eachoneofuscanincreaseourpeacebysimplymindingour ownbusinessandnotgivingouropinionwhenitisnot requested.Wehavenoabilitytochangeotherpeople.Only Godcanworkwithintheheartofanindividualandmake changesthataretrueandlasting.Thebestpolicyistopray whenwethinkweseesomethinginanotherpersonthatneeds tochange,butweshouldpraywithallhumility,remindingGod thatweareawarethatwehavemanyareasinourownlives thatneedtochangealso.Itiseasyforustoseewhatiswrong withotherpeople,butquitedifficulttosquarelyfaceourown

faults.

ItriedtochangeDaveformanyyearsandmadeno progressatall.HefeltpressuredtobewhatIthoughthe shouldbe,anditwasdamagingourpersonalrelationship.It wasagreatdaywhenGodbrokethroughmystubbornpride andshowedmethatIhadmorethanenoughareasinmyown lifetoworkonanddidnotneedtobeworkingonanyoneelse. WecancooperatewiththeHolySpiritandletHimwork wonderfulchangeinus,butasIsaid,wecannotchangeother peoplesowhywasteourtimetrying?Itonlyfrustratesus, stealsourpeace,andmakestheonewearetryingtochange feelunlovedandrejected.Onesincere,heartfeltprayercan accomplishmorethanwecouldaccomplishinanentirelifetime byourownstrength.

Everytimeyoustarttosay,“Ithink,”stopandask yourselfifyoureallyneedtosaywhatyouareabouttosay.I havefoundthatifIdothat,muchofwhatIhadintendedtosay isneverspoken.

Say Something Good or Don’t Say Anything at All

Itwouldbeawonderfulworldtoliveinifweallfollowedthe ruleofeithersayingsomethinggoodornotsayinganythingat all.Justimaginehowpleasantourhomes,schools,jobs, church,andsocietyingeneralwouldbe.Ithinkitwouldbe equivalenttohavingtheatmosphereofheavenonearth.Iam certainthatnobodyinheaveneverspeaksanunkindorbad word!Wordsarecontainersforpowerandtheydoaffectthe atmospherewelivein.Ifahomeisfilledwithangry,bitter, critical,harshwords,theveryatmosphereisheavyand oppressive.Itissuperchargedwithstrifeandeveryevilwork. Ifanofficeisfilledwithgossip,ungratefulattitudes,and discontent,thesecanbefelt.Peoplewithnoknowledgeof God’sWordmaynotknowwhatitistheyfeel,buttheydread goingintotheveryatmosphereoftheplacebecauseit depressesanddiscouragesthem.Theymayevenbepartyto theproblem,buttheyfailtorealizehowtheirwordsaffectthem andeveryonearoundthem.

Thisstorywillhelpmakemypoint:

SlavesofOurWords

Onceuponatimeanoldmanspreadrumorsthathis youngneighborwasathief.Asaresult,theyoung manwasarrested.Dayslatertheyoungmanwas proveninnocent.Afterhewasreleased,hesuedthe

oldmanforwronglyaccusinghim.Incourttheold mantoldthejudge:“Theywerejustcomments;they werenotmeanttoharmanyone.”Thejudge,before passingsentenceonthecase,toldtheoldman:“Write allthethingsyousaidabouthimonapieceofpaper. Cutthemup,andonthewayhome,throwthepieces ofpaperout.Tomorrow,comebacktohearthe sentence.”

Thenextday,thejudgetoldtheoldman:“Before receivingthesentence,youwillhavetogooutand gatherallthepiecesofpaperthatyouthrewout yesterday!”

Theoldmansaid:“Ican’tdothat!Thewindspread themandIwon’tknowwheretofindthem.”

Thejudgethenreplied:“Thesamewaysimple commentsmaydestroythehonorofamantosuchan extentthatoneisnotabletofixit.Ifyoucan’tspeak wellofsomeone,thendon’tsayanything.”

Let’sbemastersofourmouths,sothatwewon’tbe slavesofourwords!

Thereisasimplerulewecanfollowtoguideusinour conversation:Ifitisgood,uplifting,wholesome,andpleasant, sayallyouwantto,butifitisevil,negative,critical,and complaining,thendon’tsayit.AskGodtochangeyourheart sothereisnotevenahintofwantingtosayit.Whatisinour heartwilleventuallycomeoutofourmouth,sowecannot changewhatwesayunlesswechangewhatwethink.

IfourwordsagreewithGod,wewillhavewhatGodsays wecanhave,andwewillbecomewhatHesayswecanbe.

Whathaveyoubeensaying?Areyoureapingtheharvestof yourownwords?Doyouwanttoseepositivechangeinyour lifeandcircumstances?Onlyafoolishpersonthinkshecan continuedoingthesamethingandgetadifferentresult,soif youdon’tlikeyourcurrentharvest,changeyourseed.Bad seed(words)equalsbadharvest,andgoodseed(words) equalsgoodharvest.Themoregoodthingsyouspeak,the moregoodyouwillexperienceinyourlife.

Theword good means“tobedesiredorapprovedof, pleasingandwelcome.”Thechallengeofneverspeaking anythingtherestofmylifeexceptwhatisgoodseemsabit overwhelming,butIseemtohavemorefaithifIthinkofdoing itonedayatatime.Willyoumakeacommitmentfortodaynot tosayanythingunlessitissomethinggood?Whenyoumake mistakes,don’tgiveup,butaskforGod’sforgivenessand presson.Makethatsamecommitmenteachandeveryday.

Evenafoolwhenheholdshispeaceisconsidered wise;whenhecloseshislipsheisesteemedamanof understanding.

Proverbs 17:28

Makingacommitmenttospeakonlygoodthingsdoesnot meanthatwewillnolongerbetempted.Icanassureyouthat Satanwilltemptyouevenmore.Heknowsthepowerofwords, andtheverythoughtofyouimprovingyoursisfrighteningto him.Heonlyhasthecontroloverusthatwegivehimwithour words.Ifwedisciplineourselvestostopspeakingevil, negativethings,weclosethedoorofopportunitythathas beenpreviouslyopentoSatan.Satanwillalwaystemptusto doandsaywhatiswrong,butwecanresisthim.SaywhatGod

says,andyouwillfindthatnoweaponformedagainstyoucan prosper.

FacingTruth

Ihavementionedseveraltimesinthisbooktheimportanceof facingtruthbecauseitistheonlywaytomakeprogress.I don’twantanyonetomerelyreadthisbookandenjoyit,butI wantittohavelife-changingbenefits.AskGodtohelpyou makeanhonestevaluationofthetypesofwordsyouhave spokeninthepast.Examiningwherewearewillhelpusgetto wherewewanttobe.WhenItookanhonestlookathowIhad beenspeakinginthepast,Iwasnotatallpleasedwithmyself.I wassorryforthewayIhadwastedmywordsandIaskedGod toforgiveme.IknewthatGodlovedmeunconditionally,butI alsobelieveHegrievedoverthedamageIwasdoingtomy ownlifethroughspeakingevilwords.Insearchingforthe sourceofourproblems,weoftenfindthatitisrightunderour nose,inourmouth.Youcanchangeyourlifebychangingyour words.

Themoreyouspeakgoodthings,themoreyouwilldread beingwithpeoplewhorarelyhaveanythinggoodtosay.Start genuinelylisteningtoyourselfandotherpeopletalkandyou willquicklyrealizethatoneofthebiggestproblemsinthe worldisthewronguseofwords.Butthegoodnewsisthatwe canturnthingsaroundforthegoodbybeginningtospeak onlywhatisgood.

AHappyHeartIsGoodMedicine

Ahappyheartisgoodmedicine,andacheerfulmind workshealing,butabrokenspiritdriesupthebones.

Proverbs 17:22

Justimaginehowmuchhappieryoucouldbeinan atmospherewhereonlygoodthingswerespoken.No complaining,butinsteadthankfulwordsspokenregularly,and noidlegossip,judgmentalorcriticalwordsspoken.No negative,hopelesswords,butwordsofhope,faith,and positiveexpectation.Godisahugefanof“good.”Heisgood, allofHiscreationisdeclaredtobegood,Hepromisestodous goodallthedaysofourlives,Heworksgoodoutofevery situationwecommittoHim.Jesusiscalledthe“Good Shepherd.”SurelyHewantsustosaysomethinggoodornot sayanythingatall.

Wecanimmediatelyincreaseourjoybyspeakingright words.ThemoreIponderit,themoreamazedIamthatIcan immediatelyincreaseordecreasemyjoyandthejoyofothers bysimplychoosingtosaygoodthings.Doyourselfafavor andsaysomethinggood!

Joyisvital!Nehemiahtellsusthatourjoyisourstrength. Nowonderthedevilworksovertimetryingtodoanythinghe cantodiminishourjoyandmakeussad,depressed, discouraged,andfilledwithdespair.Don’tsitbyandletit happentoyou.Fightthegoodfightoffaithwithfaith-filled wordsthatwillreleasejoyintotheveryatmosphereyouarein.

TheGospelmessageisreferredtointheBibleastheGood News!JesuscametobringGoodNewsandgladtidingsof greatjoy.ThereisnothingsadaboutJesus.Hecameto destroytheworksofthewickedone,toovercomeevilwith

good.IfJesushadcometoearthandtalkedonlyaboutHis circumstancesandhowbadtheywere,andallthewicked peopleandhowbadtheywere,howbadthegovernmentwas, etcetera,wewouldstillbehopelessandlostinoursin.But JesuscamepreachingtheGoodNews,thegoodnessofGod, andthefruitofgoodness.Hewantsustobeascommittedto findingandmagnifyingthegoodineverythingasHewas.

AnythingGoodMakesMeHappy

Godistheauthorofallgood,andtheverythoughtofanything “good”increasesmyjoy.Ilovetodogoodthingsforpeople, andIenjoyitwhenpeopledogoodthingsforme.Iloveto heargoodreportsandtestimonies,andIloveitwhenpeople tellmesomethinggoodtheyhaveheardsomeoneelsesay aboutme.Iamsurethatmakesyouhappy,too.Ontheother hand,thinkhowitmakesyoufeelifyouhearthatsomeonehas saidsomethingbadaboutyou.Badthingsmakeusfeelbad, andgoodthingsmakeusfeelgood,sowhynotbecommitted todoingandsayingallthegoodyoucan?

Ilovegoodsmells,anythingthatisgoodandbeautifulto lookat,andIlovetheGoodShepherd!IlovetheGoodNewsof theGospel!Ilovegoodweather,gooddays,goodparties, goodmovies,andgood-lookingclothes!IthinkImayaswell admitthatIamsimplyaddictedtogood!

Seethatnoneofyourepaysanotherwithevilforevil, butalways aimtoshowkindnessand seek todogood

tooneanotherandtoeverybody.1 Thessalonians 5:15 (emphasis mine)

Iwanttoemphasizethewords aimand seek,tocall attentiontothefactthatdoinggoodispossibleonlywhenwe activelyseektodoso.Makedoinggood,beinggood,and speakinggoodthingsyourgoalsinlife.Ifyoudo,thenyou canexpectmorejoythanyouhaveeverexperienced.

GodIsGood

IdoubtthatIhavetoconvinceyouthatGodisgood,butjust incaseyoueverwonder,lookatjustasampleofwhattheBible saysaboutHim.

OtasteandseethattheLord[ourGod]isgood! Blessed(happy,fortunate,tobeenvied)istheman whotrustsandtakesrefugeinHim.Psalm34:8

ForYou,OLord,aregood,andreadytoforgive[our trespasses,sendingthemaway,lettingthemgo completelyandforever].Psalm86:5

OgivethankstotheLord,forHeisgood;forHis mercyandloving-kindnessendureforever. Psalm 136:1

HowgreatisGod’sgoodness,andhowgreatisHis beauty.Zechariah 9:17

Ifyoufeelthatyouhavenotexperiencedthegoodnessof God,don’tblameHim.Askyourselfifyourwordshavebeen strongandhardagainstHim.IntheBookofMalachi,Godtold thepeopletotitheandbringofferingsofalltheirincreaseand thatHewouldopenthewindowsofheavenandpourout blessingssogreattheycouldnotcontainthem.However,not

onlydidthepeoplenotchoosetodowhatGodinstructedthem todointheirgiving,buttheirwordswerestrongandhard againstHim.Thisiswhattheysaid:

YourwordshavebeenstrongandhardagainstMe, saystheLord.Yetyousay,Whathavewespoken againstYou?

Youhavesaid,ItisuselesstoserveGod,andwhat profitisitifwekeepHisordinancesandwalkgloomily andasifinmourningapparelbeforetheLordofhosts?

Malachi 3:13–14

ThesepeoplehadnotobeyedGodandthentheyfoolishly blamedHimfortheresulttheygot.Theysaiditisnouseto serveGod.Somepeoplestillsaythosekindsofthingswhen theydon’tgetanimmediateresultfromtheirobedience.Faith andpatiencemustworktogether.Whileyouarewaitingfor yourcircumstancestoimprove,thewordsthatyouspeakare vitallyimportant.Don’tletyourwordsbestrongandhard againstGod.Evenwhenyouseenoevidenceofit,keep saying,“Godisgood,Hehasagoodplanformylife,and somethinggoodisgoingtohappentometoday!”

Ifyouhavebeenconvictedthatyoudefinitelyneedto changewhatyousay,youmustexpectthatitwilltaketimefor thegoodwordstoproduceagoodharvest.Don’tdowhatis rightmerelytogetarightresult.Dorightbecauseitisright, andGodwilltakecareofyourharvestatexactlytherighttime. Justrememberthatthe“GoodBook”introducesustothe “GoodShepherd,”Whobrings“GoodNews,”andintroduces ustothe“GoodLife”Hepreordainedforustolive.Hewants

ustosaygoodthingsandbegoodtoeveryone!Thissimple, yetprofoundprinciplecanandwillchangetheworld.

Ifyoucan’tsaysomethinggood,thendon’tsayanything atall.

Gentle Words

Constant kindness can accomplish much.As the sun makes ice melt,kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust,and hostility to evaporate.

AlbertSchweitzer

Gentlenessisalsokindness,meekness,andhumility,anditisa displayoflove.TheHolySpiritmanifestedintheformofa dove,whichisaverygentlebird.TheHolySpiritislikeour tendermother,alwaysgentleandkindeveninthemidstof chastisementandcorrection.

Humilityissaidtobethechiefvirtueandmorethanlikely themostdifficulttogrowinto.Ahumblepersonistotally dependentonGodforallthings,andsheneverthinksmore highlyofherselfthansheoughtto.Shedoesn’tconsiderthat sheissuperiortoanyotherperson.Whenapersonhasa humbleheartandattitude,italwaysshowsthroughinhowshe speakstoandaboutotherpeople.Itisalsoevidentinhowshe talksaboutherownlotinlife.

Humilityneverhasanattitudeofentitlement,andit considerseverytinyblessingtobeundeservedandagiftfrom God.Therefore,itdoesn’tcomplainandmurmuraboutitslife.It waitspatientlyforGodtochangewhatevercircumstancesHe desires,andtruststhatHewillgivetheneededstrengthto endurewhatevermustbeenduredwithgoodtemper.

God’sWordstatesthevirtuouswomanhas“thelawof

kindness”onhertongue(Proverbs31:26).Shespeakskindlyto everyone,andthathappensonlywhenoneismeekand humble,seeingeveryoneasequallyimportant.Iwilladmitthat formanyyearsIdidnothaveahumbleattitudeandneither wasIgentleinthewayIspoketoandaboutothers.Pridecan beheardinourwords,andevenourvoicetones.Pridehasa soundofcriticisminmuchofwhatitsays.Itisdemeaningand belittling.Trueloveiskind,anditunderstandsthepowerof kindness.MotherTeresasaid,“Kindwordscanbeshortand easytospeakbuttheirechoesareendless.”Whenwespeak wordsofkindnessordoactsofkindness,theyalwaysreturn toblessus.“Themerciful,kind,andgenerousmanbenefits himself[forhisdeedsreturntoblesshim],”saysProverbs 11:17.

Wordsofaffirmationareamongthekindestwordsyou caneverutter.JohnTrenttellsthefollowingstoryofMary,a littlegirlwhowasdifferentfromeveryoneelse.

Maryhadgrownupknowingthatshewasdifferentfrom theotherkids,andshehatedit.Shewasbornwithacleft palateandhadtobearthejokesandstaresofcruelchildren whoteasedhernonstopabouthermisshapedlip,crooked nose,andgarbledspeech.Withalltheteasing,Marygrewup hatingthefactthatshewas“different.”Shewasconvinced thatnooneoutsideherfamilycouldeverloveher untilshe enteredMrs.Leonard’sclass.

Mrs.Leonardhadawarmsmile,aroundface,andshiny brownhair.Whileeveryoneinherclasslikedher,Marycame toloveMrs.Leonard.Inthe1950s,itwascommonforteachers togivetheirchildrenanannualhearingtest.However,in Mary’scase,inadditiontohercleftpalate,shewasbarelyable

tohearoutofoneear.Determinednottolettheotherchildren haveanother“difference”topointout,shewouldcheatonthe testeachyear.The“whispertest”wasgivenbyhavingachild walktotheclassroomdoor,turnsideways,closeoneearwitha finger,andthenrepeatsomethingthattheteacherwhispered. Maryturnedherbadeartowardherteacherandpretendedto coverhergoodear.Sheknewthatteacherswouldoftensay thingslike,“Theskyisblue,”or“Whatcolorareyourshoes?”

Butnotonthatday.SurelyGodputsevenwordsinMrs.

Leonard’smouththatchangedMary’slifeforever.Whenthe “whispertest”came,Maryheardthesewords:“Iwishyou weremylittlegirl.”

Ifsomeoneweretopayyou10centsforeverykindword youhaveeverspokenandcollect5centsfromyouforevery unkindword,wouldyouberichorpoor?

Kindnesspays:

Oneday,HowardKelly,apoorboywhowasselling goodsfromdoortodoortopayhiswaythroughschool,found hehadonlyonethindimeleft,andhewashungry.

Hedecidedhewouldaskforamealatthenexthouse. However,helosthisnervewhenalovelyyoungwoman openedthedoor.Insteadofamealheaskedforadrinkof water.Shethoughthelookedhungrysobroughthimalarge glassofmilk.Hedrankitslowly,andthenasked,“Howmuch doIoweyou?”

“Youdon’towemeanything,”shereplied.“Motherhas taughtusnevertoacceptpaymentforakindness.”Hesaid, “ThenIthankyoufrommyheart.”

AsHowardleftthathouse,notonlydidhefeelstronger physically,buthisfaithinGodandmanwasstrongalso.He

hadbeenreadytogiveupandquit.

Yearslaterthatyoungwomanbecamecriticallyill.The localdoctorswerebaffled.Theyfinallysenthertothebigcity, wheretheycalledinspecialiststostudyherraredisease.Dr. HowardKellywascalledinfortheconsultation.Whenhe heardthenameofthetownshecamefrom,astrangelightfilled hiseyes.

Immediatelyheroseandwentdownthehallofthe hospitaltoherroom.Herecognizedheratonce.Hewentback totheconsultationroomdeterminedtodohisbesttosaveher life.Fromthatdayon,hegavespecialattentiontothecase.

Afteralongstruggle,thebattlewaswon.Dr.Kelly requestedthebusinessofficetopassthefinalbilltohimfor approval.Helookedatit,thenwrotesomethingontheedge, andthebillwassenttoherroom.Shewasafraidtoopenit,for shewassureitwouldtaketherestofherlifetopayforitall. Finallyshelooked,andsomethingcaughtherattentiononthe sideasshereadthesewords:“Paidinfullwithoneglassof milk.”Signed:Dr.HowardKelly.

Herkindwords,“Youdon’towemeanything,”toayoung maninneedcamebacktohermanyyearslaterinthesame manner.Afewkindwordsandarandomactofkindness changedayoungman’slife,andtheyreturnedtosaveherlife yearslaterandshedidn’toweanything!

PrideIsAlwaysJealousandSpeaksHarshly

DavidhadbeenanointedbytheprophetSamueltobethe futurekingofIsrael,andhisbrotherswerejealous.Prideis alwaysjealous,becauseitassumesthatitdeserveswhat

othershave.WhenthegiantGoliathwasmockingthearmyof Israelandnoneofthesoldierstookanyactionagainsthim, Davidcametoseethebattleforhimself.Hewasamazedthat everyonestoodidlybywhilethisuncircumcisedPhilistine jeeredatandmockedthearmiesofthelivingGod.Heasked whatmightbedoneforthemanwhodefeatedthegiant,and hisbrotherEliabwasenraged.

NowEliabhiseldestbrotherheardwhathesaidtothe men;andEliab’sangerwaskindledagainstDavidand hesaid,Whydidyoucomehere?Withwhomhave youleftthosefewsheepinthewilderness?Iknow yourpresumptionandevilnessofheart;foryoucame downthatyoumightseethebattle.1 Samuel 17:28

TheverysightofDavidangeredEliab,andwecanclearly hearhisprideinallthathesaystoDavid.Noticethathetried tobelittleDavidbyremindinghimthatallhedidwascarefora fewsheepinthewilderness,andwhodidhethinkhewasto comeamongthe“importantsoldiers”andbegintoquestion them?ThenEliabaccusedDavidoftheverysinsthatwerein hisownheart(presumptionandevilness).Prideoftenaccuses anotherofwhatitisguiltyof,buthasfailedtosee.Prideful peoplearesobusyjudgingandbeingcriticalofothersthat theyareblindedtotheirownmisconductbytheirpride.

Myfatherwasaharsh,hard-hearted,andmeanman.He alwaysbelittledothersandrarelysaidakindwordabout anyone.Hewasnevergentle.BecauseIwasalwaystreated andtalkedtoharshly,Ibecameharshinmyownspeechand mannerisms.Ifoundthistraitquitedifficulttoovercome,butI

didseekardentlytochangeit.

LetJesusBeYourExample

TakeMyyokeuponyouandlearnofMe,forIam gentle(meek)andhumble(lowly)inheart. ForMyyokeiswholesome(useful,good not harsh,hard,sharp,orpressing,butcomfortable, gracious,andpleasant).Matthew 11:29–30

JesusinvitesustostayclosetoHimandlearnhowHe handleseverysituationinlife.Heisgentle,meek,andhumble, notharsh,hard,sharp,orpressing.Heiscomfortabletobein relationshipwith.Areyou?Canpeoplebeateasearoundyou, ordotheyfeeltensebecausetheyknowiftheydoanything thatdispleasesyouevenslightly,theywillhavetoendure harshwordsofcriticism?TherewasatimeinmylifewhenI createdthatkindof“onedge”atmosphereinmyownhome.I hadbeentreatedharshly,andtheverytreatmentthatI despisedwasthewayItreatedothers.IamsogladthatGodis gentle,forgiving,kind,andmerciful.Hisgentlenesshashealed meandisavailabletousall.

It’sAllinYourMind

Facingprideanddevelopinghumilityaretwoofthemost importantthingsinourlifebecausetheyaffecteverythingwe doandsay.Inorderforourwordstobegentle,weneedto haveahumbleheartandattitude,andthatcomesonlyfrom havingahumblemind.Wecanpurposelythinkthingsthatwill

helpusbehaveinamannerthatispleasingtoGod.Icallthem “thinksessions.”Taketimetothinklikethis:“Iamnotsuperior toanyoneelse.AllofmyabilitiesaregiftsfromGod,andnot anythingthatIhaveisapartfromHim.Weareallequalin God’seyes,andIchoosetotreateverypersonImeetwiththe utmostrespect.WhenIspeaktopeople,Idosowiththe utmosthumilityanddisplaymeeknessandgentlenessatall times.TheLawofKindnessisonmytongue.”

Forbythegrace(unmeritedfavorofGod)giventome Iwarneveryoneamongyounottoestimateandthink ofhimselfmorehighlythanheought[nottohavean exaggeratedopinionofhisownimportance],butto ratehisabilitywithsoberjudgment,eachaccordingto thedegreeoffaithapportionedbyGodtohim.Romans 12:3

Haveameetingwithyourselfdaily,andtheearlierinthe day,thebetteritwillbe.Haveachatwithyourself,reminding yourselfthatyouarenotbetterthananyoneelse,notalways right,andthatyouhavenoauthoritytojudgeandbecriticalof otherpeople.Godaloneisjudgeofallthings.Planaheadof timetobegentlewitheveryoneyoumeetandevenmoreso whenitisawoundedindividualwhodesperatelyneeds kindnessandunderstanding.

Learntorecognizeprideinyourself.Ifyoulistencarefully, youwillhearitcomeoutinyourwordswhenitisinyourheart. Donotpermitittoremain,butpurposelyputonhumilityand dowhatyoubelieveJesuswoulddoineverysituation.

TheBiblesaysthatwearetoclotheourselveswith

humility(see1Peter5:5),andIbelievethisissomethingwe shoulddopurposefully.Ineverputmyclothesoninthe morningwithoutthinkingoverwhatIwanttowearandhowit willlookonme.ThenIpurposelyputiton.Clothingourselves withhumilityworksthesameway.Thinkitoverandask:What kindofattitudewilllookgoodonyou?Whatspiritualvirtues wouldGodliketoseeyouweartoday?WillHebepleasedifwe areclothedwithpride,haughtiness,harshness,andhardness? WeknowthatHewouldnot,sowemustmaketheeffortwith Hishelptodevelopthevirtueofhumilitysothatourwordswill begentleandkind.

BeFirmandDirect

WhenIspeakofbeinggentleandkind,thatdoesn’tnegatethe needforoccasionalfirmnesswhenwedealwithcertain individuals.Therearetimeswhenweneedtobefirmwithour childrenandletthemseeourdispleasurewiththeirbehavior.

JesuswascertainlystraightforwardandfirmwhenHespoketo thePhariseesandreligiousleadersofHisdayabouttheir criticalandunlovingattitudes.Hecalledthemabroodof vipers,whitewashedtombsfilledwithdeadmen’sbones(see Matthew3:7,23:27).WecanhardlythinkthatHedidsowitha sweet,softvoice,butHisheart’smotiveincorrectingthemwas stillkindandgentlebecauseHisdesirewastohelpthem.

Lovesometimesmustbetoughinitschoicesand decisionsabouthowtodealwithpeople.Forexample,itis oftenhardertosay“no”toyourchildren,whomyoulove,than itwouldbetosay“yes.”Yetyouknowthatyoumustsay“no” fortheirowngood.Iftheypersistintheirrequest,youwill

havetobefirminyourdecision,andthisusuallymeansfirm voicetones.However,beingfirmdoesn’tmeanyellingin anger,makingaccusations,andrecallingverballyeverything theyhaveeverdonewrong.Bedirect;staycalm,firm,and decisive,buttrynottoletyouremotionsrule.Whenwe behaveemotionally,weoftenlosetherespectofthepersonwe areattemptingtodealwith.

ItellyouthisfromexperiencebecauseIdiditallwrong, especiallywithmyoldestson,andwhenhebecameanadult, hetoldmehowmywordsmadehimfeelanditwasn’tanything Iwasproudof.Iyelledandthreatenedoutrageous punishment,suchas“You’renotgoingoutofthishousefor threemonths,”andthenIdidn’tfollowthrough.Ibecame emotionalandspokeoutofthoseemotionsratherthanfrom wisdom.Dave,ontheotherhand,stayedcalmandfirm.He explainedwhatoursonhaddonewrong,oftentoldhimwhat theWordofGodsaidabouthisbehavior,andthentoldhim whatwouldhappenifhedidn’tchange.Whateverpunishment Davediddoleoutwasapromise,andoursonknewit.With me,heknewmostofwhatIsaidwouldchangewhenIcalmed downsohepaidnoattentionatalltome.

MinisterLifetoOthers

Agentletongue[withitshealingpower]isatreeof life,butwillfulcontrarinessinitbreaksdownthespirit.

Proverbs 15:4

Ithinkweshouldallaskourselveshowpeoplefeelafter theyleaveourpresence.Dotheysenselifeordeath?The

powerofbothareinthetongue,andagentletongueisatree oflife.Gentlenesscanbedisplayedinbothwordsandtonesof voice.Wemightsaytherightwordsyetdosowithatoneof voicethatbetraysourtruefeelings.AsIbegandesiringtobea gentlepersonwhowalkedinhumilityandmeekness,Ireally triedtosaythecorrectthing,butIstilloftenfeltthatIhad offendedpeople.Godhadtoteachmethatalthoughmywords hadimproved,myheartattitudehadnot,anditwasrevealedin mytoneofvoice.ImightsaytoDave,“Willyoupleaseturn thelightsoffwhenyouleavearoom!”Thereisnothingwrong withthewords,butifIambeingsarcasticorcritical,itwillstill comethroughinmytoneofvoiceandevenmybodylanguage.

IwouldliketosaythatIwasjustnaturallyagentlesoul, butIwasn’t,andIhadtodoalotofprayingandsoul searchingwhilemakingprogressinthisarea.Someofyoumay benaturallysweetandgentle,andifso,youmaynotknow howblessedyouare.Youperhapshavemoredifficultybeing firmandconfrontingissueswhenyouneedto.Butifyouare morelikeIwasandtendtobeharshinyourdealingwith people,Iurgeyoutoimmediatelybeginpraying,studying,and workingwiththeHolySpirittohaveagentletonguethatisa treeoflife.

Whenyouaskpeopleinyourimmediatefamilytodo something,trynottosoundasifyouaregivinganorder.Be kindinhowyouask,andyou’remorelikelytogetafavorable response.Atonetime,asimplerequestfrommetotakethe trashoutsoundedlikeanordergivenbyanarmysergeant.I havelearnedthatisnotthewayJesusmakesrequests,andwe canfollowHisexamplewithHishelp,ifwetrulywantto.

IwanteveryoneImeettofeelbetterthantheydidbeforeI

metthem.IwanttoministerlifeandIknowthatoneofthe majorwaysIdosoiswithmywords.Usewordscarefully becausetheyareoneofthemostpowerfulthingsthatGodhas givenyou.Andbecarefulaboutvoicetones,becausethey revealyourheart.

Keeping Your Word

Oneofthe“mouthsins”thatGodconvictedmeofwastelling peopleIwoulddosomethingandthennotdoingit.Whenwe lackintegrity,wefinditeasytotalk,butifwedon’tfeellike followingthrough,thenwejustdon’t.GodalwayskeepsHis Word,andHeexpectsustokeepours.Thatmeansweneedto beverycarefulaboutwhatwetellpeoplewewilldo.Yes,this isanotherareainwhichweneedtobecarefulwhatwesay.

Countthecostofeverythingbeforeyouverballycommit todoit.Thinkaboutwhatitwilltake,howlongitwilltake, whatyoualreadyhavegoingoninyourlife,andifadding anotherthingwillstressyouout.

Sheconsidersa[new]fieldbeforeshebuysoraccepts it[expandingprudentlyandnotcourtingneglectofher presentdutiesbyassumingotherduties].Proverbs 31:16

Thewisewomannotonlywantstoavoidstress,butalso wantstomaintainherintegrity,sosheseriouslythinksabout thingsbeforesayingshewilldothem.Wewouldsave ourselvesagreatdealoftroubleinlifeifwewoulddothis.

Oneofthegreatestproblemsweencountertodayis dealingwithpeoplewhodon’tdowhattheysaytheywilldo. Whenwebuiltourhome,itwastotallyridiculoushowoftenwe wouldhaveanappointmentwitharepairmanorcontractorand thenhedidn’tshowuporevencalltosayhewasnotcoming.

Wehadworkedourschedulearoundthatappointmentand madesurewewerehomeforit.Buthetotallyignoredhis commitment.

Itisbadenoughforanyonetobehavethisway,butwhen aChristiandoesit,tomeitisdoublybad.Iwasrecentlyasked whatIfoundtobethemostchallengingthinginnetworking withotherpeopleinaccomplishinggreatergoals.Iquickly said,“Toomanypeoplesimplydon’tdowhattheysaythey willdo.”Idon’thavetimeforthatkindofbehavioratthispoint inmylife,andIonlywanttoworkwithpeoplewhohave integrityandarecommittedtodoingwhattheysaytheywill do.Therewillbetimeswhenwefindwecannotfulfillan obligation,butattheveryleastweneedtocontacttheperson andsayoneoftwothings:Ishould never have told you I would do that.Ispoke emotionally and now find Icannot follow through.Orexplainwhathashappenedtopreventyou fromkeepingyourwordatthistimeandasktobereleasedfrom thecommitment.

AGuiltyConscience

Itismyopinionthatanytimewedon’tkeepourword,itweighs heavilyonourconscience.Wemayhavegottengoodat ignoringit,orperhapstherearemanythingsthatmakeusfeel guiltyandweareunabletodistinguishexactlywhatisthe sourceofthefeeling.Butaguiltyconsciencepreventsusfrom havingconfidencebeforeGod.KingDavidwasamanwho seemedtohavegreatconfidenceinhisrelationshipwithGod andheoftenspokeofhisintegrity.Considerthesetwo scriptures:

Okeepme,Lord,anddeliverme;letmenotbe ashamedordisappointedformytrustandmyrefuge areinYou.

Letintegrityanduprightnesspreserveme,forIwait forandexpectYou.Psalm25:20–21

Vindicateme,OLord,forIhavewalkedinmy integrity;Ihave[expectantly]trustedin,leanedon, andreliedontheLordwithoutwaveringandIshallnot slide.Psalm26:1

YouwillnoticethatDavidboldlyexpectedGodtodeliver himfromhisenemies,mentioningthathewalkedinintegrity anduprightness.Weknowthatwedon’tearnGod’shelp throughourownrighteousness,andthatHeoftenhelpsthose whodon’tdeserveit.ButDavidwasamanwhoknewGod’s Wordandwasexpectedtolivebyit.Ifinditinterestingthathe mentionedhisintegritytoGodasareasonwhyheshouldbe preservedanddelivered.HeexpectedGod’svindication.He couldnothavedonesoifhe’dhadaguiltyconscience.

Whenwesin,wecanadmititandaskGodforforgiveness, butwhenwedothingsthatarewrongandeithermakeexcuses forthemorignorethementirely,theydoweighheavilyonour conscience.

Itisimportantforeachofustodotheverybestthatwe canineveryareaoflife.Godexpectsustostriveforexcellence becauseHeisexcellent.Partofbeinganexcellentpersonis alwaysdoingwhatyoutellpeopleyouwilldo.Evena statementsuchas“I’llcallyoutomorrow”shouldbeviewedas acommitmentthatGodexpectsustokeep.

LetYourYesBeYes

LetyourYesbesimplyYes,andyourNobesimply No;anythingmorethanthatcomesfromtheevilone.

Matthew 5:37

Therewasatimenottoofarinthepastwhenaman’s wordwashisbond.Itrepresentedhishonor,andnottokeep one’swordwasunthinkable.Whenpeoplemadeabusiness deal,atwenty-pagecontractcoveringeveryminutething imaginablewasnotnecessary.Theysimplycametoan agreementandshookhands.Itisamazinghowfarwehave fallen.Nowwehaveelaboratecontracts,andeventhenifthey arebroken,weoftenfindthereisnothingwecandoaboutit.

Webuiltandmovedintoanewhomeaboutfiveyears ago.Itwastobeacommunitywith165homes,andmany promisesweregivenregardingthefinecommunityitwouldbe. Shortlyaftermovingintoourhome,wewereinformedbysome outragedneighborsthatthewaterstoragetankforthe communityheldenoughwaterforonly29homes,notthe165 thatweretobebuilt.Somehowtheownerofthepropertyhad failedtothinkaboutirrigationwhenhavingthetankbuilt.It shouldhavebeenasimplefix.Hemadeamistakeandhe shouldhavecorrectedit!Butherefusedtotakeresponsibility, andalawsuitagainsthimensued.Afterall,onedoesneed water.Wewouldhavebeenwillingtodigawell,butthe subdivisionrulesstatedthatnowellscouldbeinstalled.

Forfouryears,eighteenofthehomeowners,includingus, havepaidlawyerstodealwiththesituationwhiletheman responsiblehasmadeoneexcuseafteranothertosecure

delaysfromourjudicialsystem.Inmyopinion,noneofthese delaysshouldhavebeengranted.Heshouldhavesimplybeen toldtofixtheproblemwithoutdelay.However,sinceitis commonplacetodayforpeoplenottokeeptheirword,that didn’thappen.Onehundredyearsago,asituationlikethis wouldhavebeenunheardof.Buttodayliterallyhundredsof thousandsoflawsuitsarefiledtotrytomakepeopledowhat theypromisedtodo.Itissadindeed.

DaveandIreallyenjoywatchingBritishfilmsfromthe Victorianera.Everyonewassoproperandmannerly,andof course,notbeingamanorawomanofone’swordwas unthinkable.Weliketosay,“Wehavecomealongway, baby,”andsowehave,buthavewegoneforward,aswelike tothink,orareweactuallyinadangerousmoraldownhillslide? Wehavemanyproblemsinourworldtoday,soyoumightbe temptedtothinkthatasmallthinglikedoingwhatyousayyou willdoisminorcomparedtotherestofourproblems.Ibegto differ.Ibelievethatdiminishedintegrityisthesourceofmany otherseriousproblems.Integrityisoneofthebedrocksof livingthewayGodwantsusto.Notonlythat,butitmakesour livesalotlesscomplicated!Justthink nomoredreadingto hearthephoneringwithsomeonefollowingupona commitmentyoudidn’tkeep.

Integrityisbeinghonestanddoingtherightthingin everysituation.Wecannotmakeothersdowhatisright,but eachofusisresponsibletoGodandourselvestodoright.We mustneverbethekindofpersonwhosays,“Everyoneelse doesit,sowhat’sthebigproblem?”Evenifnobodyinthe wholeworldkepttheirword,weshouldstillkeepours,simply becauseitistherightthingtodo.

LooseMouthDisease

PeoplewithwhatIcall“loosemouthdisease”arethosewho sayallkindsofthings,includingmakingcommitments,without givingonesincerethoughttowhattheyaresaying.They merelylovetotalkandtheydoitincessantly.

Putawayfromyoufalseanddishonestspeech,and willfulandcontrarytalkputfarfromyou.Proverbs 4:24

Whenwesaysomethingthatwedon’tmean,itmaybe minortous,butinGod’seyes,wehavenottoldthetruth.

Iamguiltyofhavinghadloosemouthdiseaseandbeing correctedbyGodaboutit,anditisthewayIlearnedthe importanceofwhatIamsharingwithyou.Irecallonceloosely sayingtoacouplethatwemetinFlorida,“Youshouldcometo St.Louis[whereIlive]sometimeandstaywithusafewdays.

Wewillshowyouourcity.”Icamehomeandthoughtnomore aboutit,buttheyrememberedandafewmonthslatercalled andaskedwhentheycouldcome.Myfirstthoughtwas,“I havetofindawaytogetoutofthis,becausethelastthingI wanttodorightnowishavecompany.”IsaidIwouldcall thembackandgotbusypreparingmylistofexcusesthatI intendedtogivethemwhenGodinterruptedmyplan.Hedealt withmeveryseriouslyabouttheneedtokeepmyword,and nottosaythingslooselythatIhadnotevengivenanyreal thoughtto.HeshowedmethatIneededtohavethemcome, anddowhatIsaidIwouldandshowthemthecity.Heshowed methatitwouldteachmealessonandIwouldthinktwice

beforesayingsomethinglikethatinthefuture.

Thefamilydidcome,andIdidlearnalesson,butitwasn’t thelasttimeIwouldneedtoberefreshedinlearningthe importanceofkeepingmyword.ItrytobecarefulevenwhenI saysomethinglike,“Let’sgettogetherforlunchsoon,”or,“I’ll callyounextweekandwecancatchup.”Thetruthis,weoften saythingslikethattopeopletogetridofthem,andwehave nointentionofseeingthemorcallingthemforlunch.Onceyou makeaseriouscommitmenttoGodtoalwaysdowhatyousay youwilldoifatallpossible,youwillbemorecarefulwhatyou say.

Ameaninglesscommentwemakecaneasilybetakenasa promisebythelistener.Ioncehurtafrienddeeplyina situationjustlikethis.Isaidsomethingtoherthatshetookas along-termcommitment,andatthetimeIthoughtthatwould bethecase.ButlaterGodledmeinadifferentdirection,and shewaswounded.IfeltterriblethatIdidn’tactmorewisely, andIhavelearnedtosay,“WewilldothisunlessGodleadsus inadifferentdirection.”ThatwaswhatImeantwhenspeaking withher,butIdidn’tactuallysayit.Ihatenothingmorethan hurtingpeople,andIhavelearnedthatIoftendowhenIhave “loosemouthdisease.”

Inamultitudeofwordstransgressionisnotlacking, buthewhorestrainshislipsisprudent.

Proverbs 10:19

Youmaybethinkingofmanythingsbynowthatyou havetoldpeopleyouwoulddoandhaveneverfollowed throughon.Thereisnopointinbeingcondemned,butIdo

suggestthatiftheyarethingsyoucanstilldo,thatitwouldbe goodtodothem.Ifnot,youmightatleastcallandaskfor forgiveness!Ouch!Iamsurethatdoesn’tsoundveryexciting, butitistherightthingtodo.

IfwetakewhatGod’sWordsaysaboutthewordswe speak,thenwewillhavetotakethissubjectof“keepingour word”seriously.Wecancauseourselveshugeproblems simplybynotbeingfaithfulinthisarea.

Hewhoguardshismouthkeepshislife,buthewho openswidehislipscomestoruin.Proverbs 13:3

IliketothinkofwisdomasdoingnowwhatIwillbe satisfiedwithlater.ThismeansthatIcannotmakeemotional decisions,butImustthinkaboutanyactionbeforeItakeit.

“Themindofthewiseinstructshismouth”(Proverbs16:23). Areyoulettingwisdominstructyourmouth,orjusttalkingand notevenpayingmuchattentiontowhatyou’resaying?

HereareafewthingsIhaveeitherbeenconvictedof personally,orhavehadsomeonedotomeandhavelearned nottorepeatthem:

1.Ifyousayyouwillshowupforavolunteerworkday atchurch,showup!Itiseasytosignup,but showinguptakesmorethantalk.

2.IfyouRSVPthatyouwillbeataweddingreception, babyshower,orsomeothertypeofparty,besure youeithergo,orcallandcancelyourreservationif youcannotgo.Thepeoplegivingthepartyare orderingfoodbasedonyourcommitment,anditis

notshowingintegritynottocareiftheywastetheir money.

3.Ifyoutellsomeoneyouwillcallback,doit!

4.Ifyoutellsomeoneyouwillsendhersomething,be sureyousendit!Imeetpeoplewhohaveneedsand oftenfeelthatIshouldsendthemacertainbook.As soonasItellthemIwilldoso,Icallmyofficeand makethearrangementssoIdon’tforgetit.“Iforgot” isagoodexcuse,butweshouldtakeprecautionnot toforget.

5.Payyourbillswhenyousayyouwillpaythem,andif forsomereasonyoucannot,thencallandmake properarrangements.Ionceheardastatisticthatsaid churchesareworsethananyoneaboutnotpaying theirbills.Whataterribleexampletosetforthe world.Ofcourse,notallchurchesarelikethat,but notevenoneshouldbe.

6.Ifyouareapublicspeakerandyouhavecommittedto anengagement,don’tcanceljustbecauseyougeta betteroffer.Keepingyourwordshouldbemore importantthanabetteropportunity.

7.Ifyouownacompany,orhaveauthorityina company,andyoutellanemployeehewillgetaraise inayear,thenbesuretofollowthroughbeforethe yearisup.Ifyouletitgothreemonthsoverdue,it maymeannothingtoyou,butheisprobablysitting ontheedgeofhisseatwaitingtohearfromyou.Do whatyouwouldwantsomeoneelsetodoforyou.

8.Ifyoucommittohaveaprojectdoneatacertaintime, thenfinishit.Ifforsomereasonitisimpossibletodo

so,thencallbeforethepromiseddeadlineandaskfor anextension.

9.Nevertellyourchildrenyouwilldosomethingand thennotdoit,unlessyouhaveaverygoodreason andexplainyourselfthoroughly.Ifwedon’tdowhat wetellourchildrenwewilldo,wecanhardlyexpect themtobetruthfulwithus.

Theseareallthingsthatarereallyjustcommonsense,but Ifindthatcommonsenseisnotverycommonanymore.

Haveyouevertoldsomeoneyouwoulddosomething andthenthenexttimeyousawthem,youfoundyourself feelinguncomfortableandmakingexcuses?Youcanavoidthat troublebypracticingwisdom,thinkingbeforeyouspeak,and guardingyourmouth.

Hewhoguardshismouthandhistonguekeeps himselffromtroubles. Proverbs 21:23

Perhapsafearofsaying“no”topeopleisoneofthereasons whywemakecommitmentsthatwedon’tkeep.Itistruethat everyonewhomakesarequestwantstohear“yes,”butweall knowthatjustisn’tpossible.Iwouldrathersomeonebe unhappywithmebecauseIsaid“no,”thantohavehim unhappybecauseIsaid“yes”anddidn’tkeepmyword.

Awell-knownpastorrecentlytoldmethathefrequently haspeoplefromhiscongregationaskiftheycanhavelunch withhimthenextweek,andhesays,“No.”Hethengoesonto

ItIsOkaytoSay“No”

explainthatitisnotpossibleforhimtohavelunchwithallthe membersofhiscongregationandfulfillhisdutiesaspastor, butheassuresthemthattherearewell-qualifiedpeoplewho canmeetanyneedtheymayhave.Hetoldmethathehas discoveredthatwhenpeoplegenuinelywanthelp,itdoesnot havetobethepastorwhohelpsthem,butontheotherhand,if theysimplywanthimtopayattentiontothem,thenthey frequentlyareoffended.

Manypeopledon’thavethecouragetosay“no.”They don’twanttohurtpeople,ormakethemangry,sotheyeither say“yes,”notintendingtofollowthrough,ortheymake excusesthatarenotbasedontruth.Weshouldfollowthe leadingoftheHolySpiritandsay“no”whenwebelievethatis whatwearesupposedtodo,andsay“yes”onlywhenwe believethatiswhatwearesupposedtodo.Weareresponsible forbeingobedienttoGod,notkeepingeveryoneintheworld happybydoingeverythingtheywantustodo.Thiswasa difficultlessonformetolearn,butifIhadn’tlearnedit,Imight notstillbeinministrytoday.Iwouldhaveburnedoutmentally, emotionally,andphysicallytryingtodoallthethingsthat everyoneelsethoughtIshoulddo.

Quiteoftenwhenpeopleaskustodothings,theyarenot thinkingoftheimpactthattheirrequesthasonus.Theysimply wantustodosomethingforthem,andthatisasfarastheir thinkinggoes.Itisgoodtodothingsforpeopleandtoseekto makethemhappy,butifwefeelweneverhavepermissionto say“no,”itcanbedisastrous.

Iamgivingyoupermissiontosay“no.”Godhasalready givenyoupermission,butjustincaseyoumisseditinHis Word,Iamconfirmingitforyou:ITISOKAYTOSAY“NO”!

WatchYour Mouth

Learn this and you’ll get along,no matter what your station:An ounce ofkeep-your-mouth-shut beats a ton ofexplanation. Unknown

Thereareafewmoreareasregardingbeingcarefulwhatwesay thatcometomyhearttodiscusswithyou.Aswehavesaid, wordscanheal,buttheycanalsoinjure.Theycanbuildupor teardown.Theycanencourageordiscourage.Theycanopen adoorofblessinginourownlives,ortheycanopenadoorof destruction.

Ihavepurposethatmymouthshallnottransgress.

Psalm17:3b

CoarseJesting

TheapostlePaulwrotealettertothechurchatEphesus,andin itheurgedthemnottoengageinfoolishandsillytalk,or coarsejesting.Jestingissomethingdoneforamusement,or somethingsaidinajokingmanner.Weallenjoyhumorous people,butwedon’tenjoybeingthesourceoftheirhumor, especiallyiftheyaremakingajokebasedononeofourflaws orshortcomings.Itmightevenbefunnyonce,butifcontinued overandover,italmostalwayscausesoffense.

Wehaveallhadourfeelingshurtbysomeonewhowas simplytryingtobefunny,andwemorethanlikelyhaveallhurt someoneelse’sfeelingswhiletryingtobefunny.Ithinkthe bestpolicyistobeespeciallycarefulwhenteasingpeople aboutanymistaketheyhavemade,anynegativetraitthey have,oranythingaboutthempersonallythatisunusual.Never teaseoverweightpeopleabouttheirweight,baldmenabout theirbaldness,orextremelytallorshortpeopleabouttheir height.Icanassureyouthattheyaresensitiveaboutthese areas,andeveniftheylaughwithyou,itmayhurtthemdeep inside.

Iknowamanwhoisnaturallyveryhumorous,andwhenI amaroundhim,Ilaughandlaugh,butIhaveneverheardhim berudetoanyoneinordertogetalaugh.Ifwehavetomake funofotherpeopletobefunny,thenwearenottrulyfunny justrude.Trulyfunnypeopleusuallydon’tneedto“try”tobe funny theyjustare andhalfthetimetheydon’tevenknow it.LikeanygiftthatGodgivesus,itflowsnaturallywithout mucheffort.Ibelievesomepeopleareanointedorgiftedby Godtobringlaughtertoothers,buttheystillneedtouse wisdom.

IuseexamplesinmypreachingaboutDavefrequently, andItrytobeverycarefulnottosoundrudeordisrespectful. ButacoupleoftimesIhavesaidthingsthathavehurthis feelings,andIcanalwaystellwhenIdo.Iquicklyand profuselyapologizebecausethelastthingIeverwanttodois hurtsomeonewhileIampreachingGod’sWord.

Don’tevertrytogetalaughatsomeoneelse’sexpense. Evenpeoplewhoareverysecuredon’tliketobeteasedabout theirflaws.MyvoiceisunusuallydeepforawomanandItruly

amnotinsecureaboutit,butifsomeonekeptteasingmeabout it,Iamsureitwouldmakemeuncomfortable.

NottoolongagoDavemadeamistakeaboutsomething (thankfully,Idon’trememberwhatitwas),andIteasedhim aboutitinfrontofsomeotherpeople.ImmediatelyIknewthatI haddonethewrongthing.Iwastryingtobefunny,buthefelt embarrassedandbelittled.Awomanshouldhavebettersense thantoteaseherhusbandaboutamistakehemade,becauseit isjustnotwise!Ifwesayanything,itshouldbe,“Honey,it wasnobigdeal.Imakemistakesworsethanthatallthetime.”

Iwatchedamovielastnightthathadagoodexampleof whatIamtalkingabout.RobertandEmmawereatapartyand someoneaskedEmmawhysheandRobertwerenotdancing. Sherepliedwithouthesitation,“Robertdoesn’tdancewell,and hewon’tdoanythingifhecan’tdoitwellbecauseitwould hurthispride.”

Emmathoughtnomoreabouthercomment,andinher mindshewasmerelyteasing,butRobertcontinuedtothink aboutit.ThenextdayhetoldEmmathatshehadembarrassed himinfrontoftheirfriendsandmadehimfeelbelittled.She said,“Oh,Robert,Iwasonlyteasing.”Robertreplied,“No,you weren’tteasing,youwerelettingmeandourfriendsknowthat youthinkIamfilledwithpride,andithurtme.”Therearetimes whenweuse“Iamonlyjoking”asanexcusetotellpeople thingsthatwefeelaboutthembutdon’thavethecourageto discusswiththeminaproperway.Weshouldalwaysbe straightforwardinourspeechandneversaythingswith hiddenmeaning.

Don’tMakeaJokeoutofSomethingThatGodDoesn’tThink

IsFunny!

Talkshowsareverypopulartoday.Thenameisaccurate, becausealltheydois“talk,”buttheyrarelysayanythingthat istrulyworthlisteningto.Infact,frequentlytheysimplymake funofpeople.Ithinkweareallguiltyattimesoflaughingat thingsthatGoddoesnotthinkarefunnyatall.

Idon’tthinkpublicofficialsshouldbemadefunof,andit happensfrequentlyontalkshows.Evenifwedon’tlikethem, weshouldnotmakefunofthem.Prayforthem,butdon’tmake jokesabouttheirwrongbehavior.Theresultsoftheirwrong choicesarenotfunnyforthenation,andtheyaren’tsomething tobemadelightof.Nowyoumightbethinking,“Oh,comeon, Joyce,lightenup.Peoplearejusttryingtohavefun.”Butall youhavetodoisaskyourselfhowyouwouldfeelifyouwere theonebeingmadefunof.Youwouldnotlikeit,andneither wouldI.RemembertheGoldenRule:“Dountoothersasyou wouldhavethemdountoyou.”

Don’tUsetheLord’sNameinVain

UsingGod’snameinvainismuchmorethanattachingittoa cursewordlike damn.Itmeanstouseituselesslyor frivolously.

YoushallnotuseorrepeatthenameoftheLordyour Godinvain[thatis,lightlyorfrivolously,infalse affirmationsorprofanely];fortheLordwillnothold himguiltlesswhotakesHisnameinvain.Exodus 20:7

Wehearthenames“God”or“Jesus”usedfrequentlyand oftenbypeoplewhohavenorelationshipwithHimatall.

Statementslike“Oh,myGod”arerepeatedoftenontelevision showsinwaysthathaveabsolutelynosinceritybehindthem atall.“ForChrist’ssake”isanotherfrequentlyusedstatement, whenwhatistakingplacehasnothingtodowithChristatall. DidyoueverwonderwhyGod’snameisusedsooftenina worldwheremanypeopleclaimnottoevenbelieveHeexists?I have,andIthinkitisevidencethatperhapstheybelievemore thantheywouldcaretoadmit.

IfrequentlyamaroundChristianswhosay,“Oh,myGod,” whentheyaresurprisedbysomething,oreveniftheylook outsideandalotofsnowisontheground.Ithinkweneedto bemoresincereinhowweuseGod’sname.HonorHisnameby usingitwhenyouaregenuinelycallingonHiminprayer, praise,orworship,butneverlightlyorfrivolously.

TellingtheTruth

Whenthejudicialcourtsystemfirstbeganrequiringwitnesses tolaytheirhandontheBibleandconfess,“Ipromisetotellthe truth,thewholetruth,andnothingbutthetruth,sohelpme God,”peoplelivedinverydifferenttimes.Theyweretimes whenthetruthwasveryimportanttomostpeople.Thecourts stilldothattoday,butfewpeopleevenrealizeorcarewhat theyaresaying,anditissad.Lyingisquitecommontoday. Adultsdoitinfrontoftheirchildrenandthengetangrywhen theirchildrenlietothem.

Haveyouevertoldyourchildtotellsomeoneonthe phonethatyouweren’thomesimplybecauseyoudidn’tfeel

liketalking?Ifso,youencouragedyourchildtolie.Haveyou evercalledyourplaceofemploymentandsaidyoucouldn’t cometoworkbecauseyouweresick,whenthetruthwasthat yousimplywantedtodosomethingelsethatday?Haveyou beenlateforanappointmentandmadetheexcusethatyougot stuckinheavytraffic,whenthetruthwasthatyoudidn’tleave homewhenyoushouldhave?Childrenoftenlietokeepfrom gettingintotrouble,andadultsoftendothesamething.Oneof theTenCommandmentsis“Thoushaltnotbearfalsewitness.” Inotherwords:“Donotlie.”Sotellingthetruth,evenwhenit hurts,mustbeveryimportanttoGod.

Someonetoldmeasecretonceandaskedmenottotell anyoneelse.IsaidthatIwouldnot,butIdid.Shefoundout andaskedmeifIwastheonewhotold,andIquicklysaid “no,”becauseIdidn’twanttoruinourfriendship.AssoonasI hungupthephone,theHolySpiritconvictedmethatIhadtold alie,andHedidn’tletupuntilIfinallycalledthepersonback andtoldherthetruth.Thatincidentwassoembarrassingtome thatIwillneverforgetit,andittaughtmeagoodlesson.We absolutelycannotlieandthinkitisokay.Thereisnosuch thingasa“littlewhitelie.”Alieisalie,andGodcommandsus toalwaystellthetruth.

TheBiblementionsseventhingsthattheLordhates,and alyingtongueisoneofthem(seeProverbs6:16–19).

Formymouthshalluttertruth,andwrongdoingis detestableandloathsometomylips.

Allthewordsofmymoutharerighteous(upright andinrightstandingwithGod);thereisnothing contrarytotruthorcrookedinthem.Proverbs 8:7–8

SatanisknownastheDeceiver;heisaliarandthefather ofalllies,andthetruthisnotinhim(seeJohn8:44).God,on theotherhand,isTruth.Jesussaid,“IamTheWay,Thetruth, andTheLife,nomancomestotheFatherbutbyme”(John 14:6).Satanliestoallofus,andtheonlywaywecanrecognize andresisthisliesistoknowGod’sWord,whichistruth!

LivingTruly

Wecanlieandnotevenopenourmouth bysayingwe believeonethingandlivinginanentirelydifferentway.When wedothatourlivesarelies.TheapostleJohnsaidthatifwe sayweknowGodanddon’tkeepHiscommandments,thenwe areliars(see1John2:22).Healsosaidthatifwesaywelove GodandwehateourbrothersinChrist,thenweareliars(see1 John4:20).Notonlydoourlivesliewhenwedosuchthings, butwearelyingtoourselves,andthereisnoworsedeception thanself-deception.FormanyyearsIthoughtIknewand lovedGod,yetIwasangryatsomeoneforsomethingmostof thetime.Iwasdeceived,andthefruitofthedeceptionwas evidentinmylife.Ihadnopeace,nojoy,norealsuccess, constantfinancialneed,andwasconfusedabout“why”Ihad thoseproblems.

WelearntruthbylearningGod’sWord.Welivetruthby makingeveryefforttoliveaccordingtoGod’sWord,andwhen wefail,weadmitit(tellthetruth)andaskGodtoforgiveus. Andweshouldallbetotallycommittedtotellingthetruthin everysituation,evenifdoingsocausesuspersonaltroubleor embarrassment.

BeCarefulWhatYouHate

Theword hate means“apassionateandferventdislike.”Itisa feelingsostrongthatitoftenmovesapersontohostile actions.Ifwearegoingtohateanything,wemustbesurewe hatewhatGodhates andthatisevilandallwickedness.God commandsusnottohateevenourenemies,buttoloveand prayforthem.FromthebeginningoftimestartingwithCain andAbel,menhavehatedoneanother,andithasonlycaused killing,wars,violence,andwickednessofeverykind.

Howoftendoyousaythatyouhateathing?Don’tsay thingslike,“Ihatetheweather,Ihatemyjob,Ihatemyhair,I hatemyneighborhood,Ihatemyautomobile” andespecially don’teversaythatyouhateanotherperson.

Themorewespeakathingoutofourmouth,themoreofit wehave.Talkingabouthatewillonlyincreasethefeelingsof hateinyourlife.Somepeoplemakethemistakeofhatingtheir life,whentheyshouldembraceitandmakethebestofitthat theycan.Hatingourlifewon’tchangeit,butitdoeschange us.Itmakesusbitter,resentful,andjealous.Wealwaysthink wewantwhatsomeoneelsehas,butwefailtorealizethatthey maywantwhatwehave.Veryfewpeoplelearntheblessed lessonoflovingthelifetheyhaveandnevercomparing themselvesorwhattheyhavetoanyoneelse.

Ifyoudislikesomethinginyourlife,thenchangeitifyou can.Ifyoudon’tlikeyourjob,thenlookforadifferentone.If youdon’tlikeyourneighborhood,thenmove.Ifyoudon’tlike theweather,youcan’tchangeit,sochangeyourattitude.

Changewhatyoucanandhavethewisdomtoknowwhatyou can’tchange.Learntoloveeverythingexceptevil.Themore

youarefilledwithlovingthoughtsandthemoreyouspeak lovingwords,thehappieryouwillbe.

Sayingthatyouhatethingsmayjustbeahabityouhave formed.It’sawayofexpressingyourdispleasurewith something,butdoesitdoyouanygood?Ofcourseitdoesn’t. Youcanspendyourentirelifehatingfirstonethingandthen another,anditwillnevermakeyourlifebetter.

Ifyouhavehatedyourdailydrivetoworkintraffic,be determinedtofindawaytoenjoyit.Carpoolwithsomeoneyou enjoy,playmusic,pray,orlistentoinstructionalCDsanduse thetimetoeducateyourself.Imetawomanacoupleofdays agowhomentionedthatshedrivesoneandahalfhourseach waytowork.Iaskedherifshedislikeditandshesaid,“The driveisbeautifulandIlovetheplaceIworkandthepeopleI workwith.”Shegavetheperfectanswerandwhatshesaid evenmademehappy.Manypeoplewouldhavesaid,“Ihate thedrive,Iamsotiredofdoingittwiceeveryday,thejobis notworthit,andthepeopleirritateme,”butalltheywould havedoneismakethemselvesmoremiserable.

Iencourageyoutobegintoverbalizethatyoulike,enjoy, andlovethings.Themoreyousayit,themoreyouwillfeelit.

EliminatetheWordWorry fromYourVocabulary

Iwonderhowmanytimesthestatement“I’mworriedthat…” goesoutintotheatmosphere?Millionsofpeopleusethis phrasepossiblymillionsoftimesthroughouttheirlives,but whatistheuseofit?Itisvain,powerless,anduseless,andit doesn’thelpusinanyway.

Ifsomeoneaskedyou,“Doyouthinkworryingwill

changeyoursituation?”Iamsureyouwouldsay“no,”sowhy keepdoingit?Worryneverchangesanything,butus.Start listeningtoyourselfandotherpeople,andeachtimeyouhear “I’mworried,”saytoyourself,“Thatisauselessstatement.”If wethoroughlyrealizethefoolishnessofit,maybewewillstop sayingit.

Peoplesaythingslike,Iamworried about retirement,I amworried about my children,Iamworried Imight go bald like my dad did,Iamworried about layoffs at work,Iam worried about the world economy,Iamworried about gaining weight,Iamworried about getting old,andallkinds ofotheruselessstatements.Don’tworryaboutretirement,but insteadplanaheadandretirementcanbepeaceful.Don’tworry aboutgainingweight,butjusteatrightandexercise.Don’t worryaboutanything,butprayinstead.Prayrightawayand don’tdelay!

Mereworryimmobilizesus;wesitandworryanddovery littleofanythingthatmighthelpoursituation.Worry disempowersus!Itstealsourpeaceandjoyandmakesusage faster.Somepeoplefeeltheyareobligatedtoworryandsay sillythingslike,“Ican’thelpit,Iamjustaworrier.”Ofcourse wecanhelpit;otherwiseGodwouldnothavetoldusnotto worry.

Insteadofsaying,“I’mworried,”replacethosenegative uselesswordswith,“ItrustGod.”Whenwesaythatwetrust God,itreleasesHispowertoworkinourlives.Whenwesay thatweareworried,ithindersHim.Evenifyoutendtoworry, stopsayingit.StudyGod’sWord,rememberHisfaithfulness toyouinpastsituations,andbedeterminedtostopwasting yourtimeworrying.

God’swillisforustohavethebestlivespossible,but thatisimpossibleunlesswelearnthepowerofwordsandsay thosethingsthatbenefitus.

Do YouWant to Change Your Life?

Ourwordsbelongtous,andwemustberesponsibleforhow weusethem.Perhapsifweviewwordsdifferently,thenwewill usetheminabetterway.Theyarevaluable,theyare containersforpower,andtheycanproducelifeordeathforus andforallwhohearthem.TheyareagiftfromGod,andwhen usedproperly,theyareoneofourgreatestassets.Wehave hundredsofthousandsofwordsfloatingaroundinsideour heartsandheadsalldaylong,andwemustchoosecarefully whichoneswespeak.Mostofushaveprobablyspentmany yearsifnotourentirelivessimplytalkingwithouteven thinking.Somepeoplesay,“Iamthetypeofpersonwho speaksmymind,”butthatdoesnotmakethepersonwiseor pleasanttobewith.

Ifyouuseyourwordswisely,thenIcongratulateyou,but ifyoudon’t,thenIurgeyoutobeginaskingGodtohelpyou andstartmakingchangesrightaway.Themoreyouimprove thewayyoutalk,themoreyourlifewillimprove.

Sincewordscontainthepoweroflifeanddeath(see Proverbs18:21),whenwespeakwrongones,wearecommitting spiritualsuicide.Whenwespeakrightones,weareblessing ourselvesandfillingourlivesandtheatmospherewearein withlife,andlifemoreabundant!

FactsorTruth?

Oneofthebestwaystohaveamouthfilledwithwisdomisto alwaysspeaktruthinsteadofmerelyspeakingfacts.God’s Wordistruthanditwillprevailoverthefacts(circumstances) inourlifeifwereleaseitthroughspeaking.

Whataresomeofthefactsinyourliferightnowthatyou reallywanttoseechanged?Howhaveyoubeentalkingabout them?Doyouspeakasiftheywillalwaysbethatway,ordo youspeakGod’sWordtothemountainsinyourlifeandtell themtomove?Ifyouhavesaidtherightthing,howoftenhave yousaidit?AreyoupersistentinspeakingGod’sWord concerningyourlife?Persistencealwayspaysoff.Weshould nevergetwearyindoingwhatisrightbecausewewillreapin dueseason.

IhavealreadysharedtheimportanceofspeakingGod’s Wordinotherpartsofthisbook,butImustreemphasizeit.

Talkingaboutwhatwethink,see,andfeelisoneoftheeasiest trapstofallinto.Thethingsweseeandfeelaresorealtous, andweconsiderthemtobethetruthofwhatishappeningin ourlives.Buttheyarenotthetruth;theyarethefacts,and factscanchange,buttruthneverchanges.Jesusisthesame yesterday,today,andforever.Hechangesnot,butHeisable tochangeanythinginourlivesthatneedchanging.

InordertoseeGod’spowermanifestedinourlivesin amazingways,weneedtocomeintoagreementwithHimand saywhatHesays.Iwantyoutobefilledwiththehopeof changebecausehopelessnessisamiserableplacetobe.Ihave hadalotofdentalworkdonelatelyandonetoothhasbeen painfulsincethedayitwasworkedon,andthatwasalmost fivemonthsago.Twodifferentdentistshavetoldmethatthey seenothingwrongwiththetoothsoIamcontinuingeveryday

tohopethatitwillbebetterthatdayandIsay,“Everydaymy toothgetsbetter.”Guesswhat!IthasimprovedandIhave beenoutofbedfourhourstodayandithasn’thurtyet!

Sometimesthingsjusttaketime,andwecancooperatewiththe processofhealinginanyareaofourlivesbystayingpositive andspeakingwordsofhopeandfaith.

Evenifthewordsdon’tchangeyourcircumstancesright away,theywillchangeyouintoamorepleasantandjoyful individual.Talkingaboutourproblemsonlyincreasesanxiety.

HowtoRespondtoNegativeWordsfromOtherPeople

Learningnottobenegativeourselvesandtobecarefulabout thewordswespeakdoesnotpreventotherpeoplefromsaying thingstousthateitherhurtus,ortrytohinderourprogress.

Wecanlistentothemandbelievewhattheysay,orwecan looktoGod’sWord(thetruth)andbelievewhatHesays.

Thefollowingstoryishumorous,butitalsorevealsan importanttruththatweallcanlearnfrom:

Agroupoffrogsweretravelingthroughthewoods,and twoofthemfellintoadeeppit.Alltheotherfrogsgathered aroundthepit.Whentheysawhowdeepthepitwas,theytold thetwofrogsthattheywereasgoodasdead.

Thetwofrogsignoredthecommentsandtriedtojumpup outofthepitwithalltheirmight.Theotherfrogskepttelling themtostop,thattheywereasgoodasdead.Finally,oneof thefrogstookheedtowhattheotherfrogsweresayingand gaveup.Hefelldownanddied.

Theotherfrogcontinuedtojumpashardashecould. Onceagain,thecrowdoffrogsyelledathimtostopthepain

andjustdie.Hejumpedevenharderandfinallymadeitout. Whenhegotout,theotherfrogssaid,“Didyounothearus?”

Thefrogexplainedtothemthathewasdeaf.Hethoughtthey wereencouraginghimtheentiretime.

Althoughnoneofuswouldwanttobedeaf,thereare timeswhenweneedtoactasifwewere.Itwouldbeamazing whatpeoplewouldbeabletodowiththeirlivesiftheyonly believedtheycould.Wemustnotletthenegativewordsof othersaffectus,becauseitisnottheiropinionthatmattersin theend.TheimportantthingiswhatGodsaysaboutusinHis Word,andwhatwebelieveaboutourselves.

ArulerofthesynagoguenamedJairuscametoJesusand askedhimtocomeandlayHishandsonhissickdaughterso shemightbehealed.AsJesuswasgoingwithhim,another womanwhoalsoneededhealingstoppedJesus,andhetook timetoministertoher.Whiletheywerestopped,servantsfrom Jairus’housecameandsaidthathisdaughterhaddiedand therewasnoneedtobotherJesusanyfurther.Butlookat Jesus’responsetothatreport:

Overhearingbutignoringwhattheysaid,Jesussaidto therulerofthesynagogue,Donotbeseizedwith alarmandstruckwithfear;onlykeeponbelieving.

Mark 5:36

Ihavealwayslovedthatversebecauseithelpsme rememberthattherearetimeswhenweabsolutelymustnot listentothenegativethingsthatpeopletellus.Thefroggot outofthepitbecausehebelievedhecould.Itwastohis advantagethathecouldnotheartheotherfrogsrepeatedly

tellinghimtostoptryingandjustdie.Hisperceptionbecame hisreality.Hebelievedhecouldgetoutofthepitandhedid.

Youcanalsogetoutofanypityoumayfindyourselfinifyou willonlylistentoGod’sWord,andnevertoanyonewho speakswordsofdefeatandfailuretoyou.

Haveyoumissedopportunitiesinyourownlifetodo greatthingsbecauseyouhavelistenedtoointentlytothe wordsofothers?Ifso,itisstillnottoolate.Youcanbeginthis verymomenterasingthememoriesofnegativewordsspoken toyoubyconfessingGod’sWordaboutyouandyourfuture outlouduntilitbecomesarealityinyourlife.

Youcandefeateverynegativethoughtthatcomestoyour mind,andeverynegativestatementmadetoyou,bywielding theswordoftheSpirit,whichistheWordofGod.Towieldit meanstouseit,speakit,meditateonit,believeit,andletit guideallyouractions.

FortheWordthatGodspeaksisaliveandfullof power[makingitactive,operative,energizing,and effective];itissharperthananytwo-edgedsword, penetratingtothedividinglineofthebreathoflife (soul)and[theimmortal]spirit,andofjointsand marrow[ofthedeepestpartsofournature],exposing andsiftingandanalyzingandjudgingthevery thoughtsandpurposesoftheheart.Hebrews 4:12

Let’ssayforexamplethatyouareworkingonaproject withseveralotherpeople,andabsolutelynothinghasgonethe wayyouexpected.Everydaytherehasbeensomekindof problemthathascausedyoumoreworkthanyouoriginally

anticipated.Alongwitheveryoneelse,youarebecomingtired andweary.Yourthinkingisgettingmoreandmorenegative: “Thisisnevergoingtowork.Ijustcannotfinishthisjob;itis toodifficult.”Thenthepeopleworkingwithyoustartsaying thattheywanttoquitandconsidertheprojecttobealost cause.Deepinyourheartyoubelieveyoushouldfinishthe task,butinorderforthattohappen,youwillneedtorespond toyourownnegativethoughtsandthenegativewordsof others.YoucandothatbywieldingtheswordoftheSpirit.By speakingportionsofGod’sWordthataddressyourunique situation,youcansaythingslikethis:

IcandoallthingsthroughChrist,Whogivesme strength.(Philippians4:13)

IamstrongintheLordandthepowerofHismight;I drawmystrengthfromHim.(Ephesians6:10)

IamnotmovedbytheseproblemsandIwillfinishwhat Ihavestarted.(Acts20:24)

Iamrooted,established,strong,immovable,and determinedaboutthisproject.(1Peter5:9)

Thesescripturesandotherslikethemwillempoweryouto followyourheartinsteadofyourmindandthewordsofother people.God’sWordisonlyvaluabletousaswebelieveit, speakit,andtakeactionaccordingly.

IneverunderstoodthepowerofwordsuntilIexperienced thepowerofGod’sWordworkinginmyownlife.Ican honestlysaythatlearning,andbelieving,andspeakingGod’s Wordchangedme,andmyentireapproachtolife.God’sWord haspowerinherentinit,andwhenreleased,thepower

explodesintoamazingenablingability.ThinkofGod’sWord likethis:Youhaveanenemyattacking,andinyourhandyou holdagrenade.Allyouhavetodoispullthepinandthrowthe grenade.Youhavetheequipmentyouneedtodefeatyour enemies,andsurelyyouwouldnotstandidleandwatchyour lifebeingdestroyed.However,manyChristiansdojustthat. TheyhavetheWordofGod,theequipmentneededtodefeat theirenemies,andyettheystandsilent.Silenceisagreement, soifwerefusetoopenourmouthsandspeakGod’sWord, thenweareagreeingwithourcircumstancesandgivingthem continuedpoweroverus.

Ifyouarelikemostpeople,youaregoingtobesaying something,soitmightaswellbesomethingthatcouldhelp you.

Wecannotpreventpeoplefromsayingthingswewould oftenrathernothear,butwecandecideforourselvesifweare goingtolistentothemandtakethemseriously.Wecandecide ifwearegoingtobelievewhatpeoplesayabovewhatGodhas saidaboutusinHisWord.Nobodycanchangeyourdestiny withtheirwordsifyoudon’tletthem.Myfathertoldme repeatedlywhenIwasayounggirlthatIwouldneveramount toanything.Irememberlyinginbedatnightthinking, “SomedayIamgoingtodosomethinggreat.”Itseemedthat themorehesaidIcouldnotsucceed,themoredeterminedI wastoprovehimwrong.MaybeIwasjuststubborn,butifso, Iamgrateful,becauseitpreventedmefromagreeingwithhim. Don’tagreewithanythingnegativethatissaidtoyouorabout you.

Justincaseyouhavehadalotofdiscouragingand negativethingssaidtoyou,Iwanttoreversethedamagethat

hasbeendonebysayingsomegoodthingstoyou:

Youareaspecialperson,andwithoutyou,theworld wouldbemissingsomethingwonderful.

Youcandowhateveryousetyourmindtodo,aslong asitiswithinGod’swill.

Youaretalented,giftedbyGod,andyouareableto accomplishgreatthingsinyourlife.

Youareamazinglyunique,andyouneverneedto compareyourselfwithanyoneelse.Betheamazing personthatyouare.

Godlovesyouunconditionally,andthatwillnever change.

Yourfutureissobrightthatyoumayneedsunglasses tolookatit!

ATurningPointinYourLife

Nomatterwhatyourlifehasbeenlikeuntilnow,Ipraythat youwillmakereadingthisbookaturningpointforyou.As youapplytheprinciplesthroughoutthebook,youwillsee positivechanges.Youmaybethinking,“IwishIhadknownall theseprinciplestwentyyearsago.”Thatprobablywouldhave beengood,butyoudoknowthemnow,sodon’twasteone moreday.Beginningtoday,letyourwordsworkforyourather thanagainstyou.Itwilltakediligenceandyouwon’treach perfectionimmediately,butbethankfulthatyouknowthe pathwaytovictorynow.

Iamonajourneymyselftoonlyusemywordsforthings thatwillbebeneficialtomeorothers.Whileyouaremaking

yourownpersonaljourney,youcanrememberthatIamright therewithyoustillgrowingandlearning.

IrecognizetheHolySpirit’sconvictionmuchquickernow whenIsaysomethingthatIshouldnotsay,butIdon’tletit condemnme.IamthankfulthatIammoresensitivetothe powerofmywords,andIwelcomeallthecorrectionthatGod givesme.Idopraythatyouwillnotfeelcondemnedeverytime youmakeamistake,becauseitwillonlyweakenyouandcause youtomakeevenmoremistakes.Convictionisneverintended tocondemnus,buttohelpusadmitourmistakes askforand receiveGod’sforgivenessandpressontothenextlevelof victory.

Hereisagoodconfessiontomakedailyaboutyour words:

Idon’tallowanycorruptcommunicationtogooutof mymouth,butIonlyspeakwhatisgood,upliftingand edifying(seeEphesians4:29).

IamcarefulaboutwhatIsayandIdon’tsinwithmy tongue(seePsalm39:1).Ikeepmytongueandmysoul fromtrouble(seeProverbs21:23).Mytongueisgentle andfullofhealingpower(seeProverbs15:4).Ispeak excellentthingsandopenmymouthforrightthings.I alwaysspeaktruthandnothingperversecomesoutof mymouth(seeProverbs8:6–8).Iopenmymouthwith wisdom,andthelawofkindnessisinmytongue(see Proverbs31:26).Myconversationisfilledwithgrace andlove,andIknowhowtoanswereveryperson(see Colossians4:6).

IencourageyoutoreadtheBookofProverbsand highlighteverypassagethattalksaboutthemouth,ourwords, orthetongue.Onceyoudo,youcangothroughProverbsand getaquickrefreshercourseonthepowerofwordsjustby readingwhatyouhavehighlighted.

IamreallyexcitedforyoubecauseIknowhowchanging yourwordswillchangeyourlife.Enjoyyourjourneyand remembertothankGodforeverylittlebitofprogressthatyou make.Nomancantamethetongue,sopraydailyandaskfor God’shelpinmakingsurethewordsofyourmouthandthe meditationsofyourheartareacceptableinHissight.

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

JOYCEMEYERisoneoftheworld’sleadingpracticalBible teachers.A#1New York Times bestsellingauthor,shehas writtenmorethanninetyinspirationalbooks,including Do Yourselfa Favor… Forgive,Living Beyond Your Feelings,the entireBattlefieldoftheMindfamilyofbooks,andtwonovels, The Penny and Any Minute,aswellasmanyothers.Shehas alsoreleasedthousandsofaudioteachings,aswellasa completevideolibrary.Joyce’s Enjoying Everyday Life®radio andtelevisionprogramsarebroadcastaroundtheworld,and shetravelsextensivelyconductingconferences.Joyceandher husband,Dave,aretheparentsoffourgrownchildrenand maketheirhomeinSt.Louis,Missouri.

APPENDIX

ADictionaryofGod’sWord

God’sWordisthemostpowerfulthingonearth.Inthe beginning,Hesaid,“Lettherebelight,andtherewas.”Iurge youtorespectandvalueGod’sWordasthegreatesttreasure youhave.

GodhasexaltedHisnameandHisWordaboveallelse, andHehasexaltedHisWordevenaboveallofHisname(see Psalm138:2).AsyoulearnGod’sWord,believeit,meditateon it,andspeakit,youwillbechanged.

AswecontinueinGod’sWord,wearechangedintoHis imageinever-increasingdegreesofglory(see2Corinthians 3:18).God’sWordchangesus!Wemustexpectto continue in it.Thatmeanswemustlive,dwell,andremaininit.Reading onebookormemorizingafewscripturesaboutthepowerof wordswon’tbeenoughtomakepermanentchangesinyour life.Youwillneedtomakealifetimecommitmenttostudying andlivingbytheWordofGod.

TheWordofGodispracticalandcanbeappliedtoyour lifeeveryday.Iwanttoleaveyouwithasmalldictionaryof God’sWordthatyoucanspeakwhencertainsituationsarise inyourlife.Ihopeyouwilladdtoitanduseitdaily.

IhavestrengthforallthingsinChrist,Whoempowers me.Iamreadyforanythingandequaltoanything

Whenyoufeelthatyoudon’thavethestrengthtogoon

throughHimWhoinfusesinnerstrengthintome;Iam self-sufficientinChrist’ssufficiency.(Philippians4:13)

TheLordismyShepherd[tofeed,guide,andshield me],Ishallnotlack.

Hemakesmeliedownin[fresh,tender]green pastures;Heleadsmebesidethestillandrestful waters.

Herefreshesandrestoresmylife(myself);Heleads meinthepathsofrighteousness[uprightnessandright standingwithHim notformyearningit,but]forHis name’ssake.

Yes,thoughIwalkthroughthe[deep,sunless]valley oftheshadowofdeath,Iwillfearordreadnoevil,for Youarewithme;Yourrod[toprotect]andYourstaff [toguide],theycomfortme.Youprepareatablebefore meinthepresenceofmyenemies.Youanointmyhead withoil;my[brimming]cuprunsover.Surelyoronly goodness,mercy,andunfailingloveshallfollowmeall thedaysofmylife,andthroughthelengthofmydays thehouseoftheLord[andHispresence]shallbemy dwellingplace.(Psalm23)

ThereforeItellyou,stopbeingperpetuallyuneasy (anxiousandworried)aboutyourlife,whatyoushall eatorwhatyoushalldrink;oraboutyourbody,what youshallputon.Isnotlifegreater[inquality]than food,andthebody[faraboveandmoreexcellent]than clothing?

Lookatthebirdsoftheair;theyneithersownorreap norgatherintobarns,andyetyourheavenlyFather keepsfeedingthem.Areyounotworthmuchmorethan

they?

Andwhoofyoubyworryingandbeinganxiouscan addoneunitofmeasure(cubit)tohisstatureortothe spanofhislife?

Andwhyshouldyoubeanxiousaboutclothes? Considertheliliesofthefieldandlearnthoroughlyhow theygrow;theyneithertoilnorspin.

YetItellyou,evenSolomoninallhismagnificence (excellence,dignity,andgrace)wasnotarrayedlikeone ofthese.

ButifGodsoclothesthegrassofthefield,which todayisaliveandgreenandtomorrowistossedinto thefurnace,willHenotmuchmoresurelyclotheyou,O youoflittlefaith?

Thereforedonotworryandbeanxious,saying, Whatarewegoingtohavetoeat?or,Whatarewe goingtohavetodrink?or,Whatarewegoingtohave towear?

FortheGentiles(heathen)wishforandcraveand diligentlyseekallthesethings,andyourheavenly Fatherknowswellthatyouneedthemall.

Butseek(aimatandstriveafter)firstofallHis kingdomandHisrighteousness(Hiswayofdoingand beingright),andthenallthesethingstakentogether willbegivenyoubesides.(Matthew6:25–33)

Whenyouareangryandbitter

Ceasefromangerandforsakewrath;fretnotyourself ittendsonlytoevildoing.(Psalm37:8)

TheLordismercifulandgracious,slowtoangerand plenteousinmercyandloving-kindness.(Psalm103:8)

Hewhoisslowtoangerhasgreatunderstanding,but hewhoishastyofspiritexposesandexaltshisfolly.

(Proverbs14:29)

Asoftanswerturnsawaywrath,butgrievouswords stirupanger.(Proverbs15:1)

Ahot-temperedmanstirsupstrife,buthewhoisslow toangerappeasescontention.(Proverbs15:18)

Goodsensemakesamanrestrainhisanger,anditishis glorytooverlookatransgressionoranoffense.

(Proverbs19:11)

Donotbequickinspirittobeangryorvexed,foranger andvexationlodgeinthebosomoffools.(Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Whenangry,donotsin;donoteverletyourwrath (yourexasperation,yourfuryorindignation)lastuntil thesungoesdown.(Ephesians4:26)

Letallbitternessandindignationandwrath(passion, rage,badtemper)andresentment(anger,animosity) andquarreling(brawling,clamor,contention)and slander(evil-speaking,abusive,orblasphemous language)bebanishedfromyou,withallmalice(spite, illwill,orbasenessofanykind).Andbecomeuseful andhelpfulandkindtooneanother,tenderhearted (compassionate,understanding,loving-hearted), forgivingoneanother[readilyandfreely],asGodin Christforgaveyou.(Ephesians4:31–32)

Butnowputawayandridyourselves[completely]ofall thesethings:anger,rage,badfeelingtowardothers,

cursesandslander,andfoulmouthedabuseand shamefulutterancesfromyourlips!(Colossians3:8)

Understand[this],mybelovedbrethren.Leteveryman bequicktohear[areadylistener],slowtospeak,slow totakeoffenseandtogetangry.Forman’sangerdoes notpromotetherighteousnessGod[wishesand requires].(James1:19–20)

Whenyouneedconfidence

HaveInotcommandedyou?Bestrong,vigorous,and verycourageous.Benotafraid,neitherbedismayed, fortheLordyourGodiswithyouwhereveryougo. (Joshua1:9)

ForbyYouIcanrunthroughatroop,andbymyGodI canleapoverawall.(Psalm18:29)

Trust(leanon,relyon,andbeconfident)intheLord anddogood;soshallyoudwellinthelandandfeed surelyonHisfaithfulness,andtrulyyoushallbefed. (Psalm37:3)

Myheartisfixed,OGod,myheartissteadfastand confident!Iwillsingandmakemelody.(Psalm57:7)

OLordofhosts,blessed(happy,fortunate,tobe envied)isthemanwhotrustsinYou[leaningand believingonYou,committingallandconfidently lookingtoYou,andthatwithoutfearormisgiving]! (Psalm84:12)

Thefearofmanbringsasnare,butwhoeverleanson, trustsin,andputshisconfidenceintheLordissafe andsetonhigh.(Proverbs29:25)

Youwillguardhimandkeephiminperfectand constantpeacewhosemind[bothitsinclinationandits character]isstayedonYou,becausehecommits himselftoYou,leansonYou,andhopesconfidentlyin You.(Isaiah26:3)

ForthussaidtheLordGod,theHolyOneofIsrael.In returning[toMe]andresting[inMe]youshallbe saved;inquietnessandin[trusting]confidenceshall beyourstrength.(Isaiah30:15)

Butasforme,IwilllooktotheLordandconfidentin HimIwillkeepwatch;Iwillwaitwithhopeand expectancyfortheGodofmysalvation;myGodwill hearme.(Micah7:7)

AndIamconvincedandsureofthisverything,thatHe Whobeganagoodworkinyouwillcontinueuntilthe dayofJesusChrist[rightuptothetimeofHisreturn], developing[thatgoodwork]andperfectingand bringingittofullcompletioninyou.(Philippians1:6)

Forwe[Christians]arethetruecircumcision,who worshipGodinspiritandbytheSpiritofGodandexult andgloryandprideourselvesinJesusChrist,andput noconfidenceordependence[onwhatweare]inthe fleshandonoutwardprivilegesandphysical advantagesandexternalappearances.(Philippians3:3)

Letusthenfearlesslyandconfidentlyandboldlydraw neartothethroneofgrace(thethroneofGod’s unmeritedfavortoussinners),thatwemayreceive mercy[forourfailures]andfindgracetohelpingood timeforeveryneed[appropriatehelpandwell-timed help,comingjustwhenweneedit].(Hebrews4:16)

Donot,therefore,flingawayyourfearlessconfidence, foritcarriesagreatandgloriouscompensationof reward.(Hebrews10:35)

Whenyouarediscouraged

Ihavetoldyouthesethings,sothatinMeyoumay have[perfect]peaceandconfidence.Intheworldyou havetribulationandtrialsanddistressandfrustration; butbeofgoodcheer[takecourage;beconfident, certain,undaunted]!ForIhaveovercometheworld.[I havedepriveditofpowertoharmyouandhave conquereditforyou.](John16:33)

Weareassuredandknowthat[Godbeingapartnerin theirlabor]allthingsworktogetherandare[fittinginto aplan]forgoodtoandforthosewholoveGodandare calledaccordingto[His]designandpurpose.(Romans 8:28)

Wearehedgedin(pressed)oneveryside[troubledand oppressedineveryway],butnotcrampedorcrushed; wesufferembarrassmentsandareperplexedandunable tofindawayout,butnotdriventodespair.(2 Corinthians4:8)

Thereforewedonotbecomediscouraged(utterly spiritless,exhausted,andweariedoutthroughfear).

Thoughouroutermanis[progressively]decayingand wastingaway,yetourinnerselfisbeing [progressively]reneweddayafterday.Forourlight, momentaryaffliction(thisslightdistressofthepassing hour)isevermoreandmoreabundantlypreparingand

producingandachievingforusaneverlastingweight ofglory[beyondallmeasure,excessivelysurpassingall comparisonsandallcalculations,avastand transcendentgloryandblessednessnevertocease!].(2 Corinthians4:16–17)

ButHesaidtome,Mygrace(Myfavorandlovingkindnessandmercy)isenoughforyou[sufficient againstanydangerandenablesyoutobearthetrouble manfully];forMystrengthandpoweraremadeperfect (fulfilledandcompleted)andshowthemselvesmost effectivein[your]weakness.Therefore,Iwillallthe moregladlygloryinmyweaknessesandinfirmities,that thestrengthandpowerofChrist(theMessiah)may rest(yes,maypitchatentoveranddwell)uponme!(2 Corinthians12:9)

IhavestrengthforallthingsinChristWhoempowers me[Iamreadyforanythingandequaltoanything throughHimWhoinfusesinnerstrengthintome;Iam self-sufficientinChrist’ssufficiency].(Philippians4:13)

Whenyouaredepressed

ItistheLordWhogoesbeforeyou;Hewill[march] withyou;Hewillnotfailyouorletyougoorforsake you;[lettherebenocowardiceorflinching,but]fear not,neitherbecomebroken[inspirit depressed, dismayed,andunnervedwithalarm].(Deuteronomy 31:8)

TheeyesoftheLordaretowardthe [uncompromisingly]righteousandHisearsareopento

theircry.ThefaceoftheLordisagainstthosewhodo evil,tocutofftheremembranceofthemfromtheearth. Whentherighteouscryforhelp,theLordhears,and deliversthemoutofalltheirdistressandtroubles.

(Psalm34:15–17)

Whyareyoucastdown,Omyinnerself?Andwhy shouldyoumoanovermeandbedisquietedwithinme?

HopeinGodandwaitexpectantlyforHim,forIshallyet praiseHim,myHelpandmyGod.(Psalm42:5)

HewhodwellsinthesecretplaceoftheMostHigh shallremainstableandfixedundertheshadowofthe Almighty[Whosepowernofoecanwithstand].Iwill sayoftheLord,HeismyRefugeandmyFortress,my God;onHimIleanandrely,andinHimI[confidently] trust!(Psalm91:1–2)

Whenyouareafraid

TheLordismyLightandmySalvation whomshallI fearordread?TheLordistheRefugeandStronghold ofmylife ofwhomshallIbeafraid?(Psalm27:1)

[Then]HewillcoveryouwithHispinions,andunder Hiswingsshallyoutrustandfindrefuge;Histruthand Hisfaithfulnessareashieldandabuckler.Youshall notbeafraidoftheterrorofthenight,norofthearrow (theevilplotsandslandersofthewicked)thatfliesby day.(Psalm91:4–5)

Heshallnotbeafraidofeviltidings;hisheartisfirmly fixed,trusting(leaningonandbeingconfident)inthe Lord.Hisheartisestablishedandsteady,hewillnotbe

afraidwhilehewaitstoseehisdesireestablishedupon hisadversaries.(Psalm112:7–8)

Thefearofmanbringsasnare,butwhoeverleanson, trustsin,andputshisconfidenceintheLordissafe andsetonhigh.(Proverbs29:25)

Fearnot[thereisnothingtofear]forIamwithyou;do notlookaroundyouinterrorandbedismayed,forIam yourGod.Iwillstrengthenandhardenyouto difficulties,yes,Iwillhelpyou;yes,Iwillholdyouup andretainyouwithMy[victorious]righthandof rightnessandjustice.(Isaiah41:10)

Youshallestablishyourselfinrighteousness

(rightness,inconformitywithGod’swillandorder): youshallbefarfromeventhethoughtofoppressionor destruction,foryoushallnotfear,andfromterror,forit shallnotcomenearyou.(Isaiah54:14)

For[God]Himselfhassaid,Iwillnotinanywayfailyou norgiveyouupnorleaveyouwithoutsupport.[Iwill] not,[Iwill]not,[Iwill]notinanydegreeleaveyou helplessnorforsakenorlet[you]down(relaxMyhold onyou)![Assuredlynot!]Sowetakecomfortandare encouragedandconfidentlyandboldlysay,TheLord ismyHelper;Iwillnotbeseizedwithalarm[Iwillnot fearordreadorbeterrified].Whatcanmandotome? (Hebrews13:5–6)

Whenyouneedhealing

Hehealsthebrokenheartedandbindsuptheirwounds [curingtheirpainsandtheirsorrows].(Psalm147:3)

Thenshallyourlightbreakforthlikethemorning,and yourhealing(yourrestorationandthepowerofanew life)shallspringforthspeedily;yourrighteousness (yourrightness,yourjustice,andyourright relationshipwithGod)shallgobeforeyou[conducting youtopeaceandprosperity],andthegloryoftheLord shallbeyourrearguard.(Isaiah58:8)

Healme,OLord,andIshallbehealed;saveme,andI shallbesaved,forYouaremypraise.(Jeremiah17:14)

ForIwillrestorehealthtoyou,andIwillhealyour wounds,saystheLord,becausetheyhavecalledyou anoutcast,saying,ThisisZion,whomnooneseeks afterandforwhomnoonecares!(Jeremiah30:17)

Isanyoneamongyousick?Heshouldcallinthe churchelders(thespiritualguides).Andtheyshould prayoverhim,anointinghimwithoilintheLord’s name.Andtheprayer[thatis]offaithwillsavehimwho issick,andtheLordwillrestorehim;andifhehas committedsins,hewillbeforgiven.(James5:14–15)

Whenyouhavebeenabandoned

HaveInotcommandedyou?Bestrong,vigorous,and verycourageous.Benotafraid,neitherbedismayed, fortheLordyourGodiswithyouwhereveryougo.

(Joshua1:9)

Whenyouhavebeenrejectedorbetrayed

Blessedareyouwhenpeoplerevileyouandpersecute

youandsayallkindsofevilthingsagainstyoufalsely onMyaccount.Begladandsupremelyjoyful,foryour rewardinheavenisgreat(strongandintense),forin thissamewaypeoplepersecutedtheprophetswho werebeforeyou.(Matthew5:11–12)

Behold,Iamwithyouallthedays(perpetually, uniformly,andoneveryoccasion),tothe[very]close andconsummationoftheage.Amen(soletitbe).

(Matthew28:20)

Butwheneveryougointoatownandtheydonot receiveandacceptandwelcomeyou,gooutintoits streetsandsay,Eventhedustofyourtownthatclings toourfeetwearewipingoffagainstyou;yetknowand understandthis:thekingdomofGodhascomenear you.(Luke10:10–11)

Whatthenshallwesayto[all]this?IfGodisforus, who[canbe]againstus?[Whocanbeourfoe,ifGodis onourside?](Romans8:31)

Whenyouarelonely

Andbehold,Iamwithyouandwillkeep(watchover youwithcare,takenoticeof)youwhereveryoumay go,andIwillbringyoubacktothisland;forIwillnot leaveyouuntilIhavedoneallofwhichIhavetoldyou.

(Genesis28:15)

TheLordwillnotforsakeHispeopleforHisgreat name’ssake,forithaspleasedHimtomakeyoua peopleforHimself.(1Samuel12:22)

[Lord]turntomeandbegracioustome,forIamlonely

andafflicted.(Psalm25:16)

Althoughmyfatherandmymotherhaveforsakenme, yettheLordwilltakemeup[adoptmeasHischild]. (Psalm27:10)

GodisourRefugeandStrength[mightyand impenetrabletotemptation],averypresentandwellprovedhelpintrouble.(Psalm46:1)

Iwillnotleaveyouasorphans[comfortless,desolate, bereaved,forlorn,helpless];Iwillcome[back]toyou. (John14:18)

Whenyouneedfinancialhelp

TheLordshallcommandtheblessinguponyouinyour storehouseandinallthatyouundertake.AndHewill blessyouinthelandwhichtheLordyourGodgives you…AndtheLordshallmakeyouhaveasurplusof prosperity,throughthefruitofyourbody,ofyour livestock,andofyourground,inthelandwhichthe Lordsworetoyourfatherstogiveyou.(Deuteronomy 28:8,11)

Theyounglionslackfoodandsufferhunger,butthey whoseek(inquireofandrequire)theLord[byrightof theirneedandontheauthorityofHisWord],noneof themshalllackanybeneficialthing.(Psalm34:10)

Bringallthetithes(thewholetenthofyourincome) intothestorehouse,thattheremaybefoodinMy house,andproveMenowbyit,saystheLordofhosts, ifIwillnotopenthewindowsofheavenforyouand pouryououtablessing,thatthereshallnotberoom

enoughtoreceiveit.(Malachi3:10)

Keepoutofdebtandowenomananything,exceptto loveoneanother;forhewholoveshisneighbor[who practiceslovingothers]hasfulfilledtheLaw[relatingto one’sfellowmen,meetingallitsrequirements].(Romans 13:8)

AndmyGodwillliberallysupply(filltothefull)your everyneedaccordingtoHisrichesingloryinChrist Jesus.(Philippians4:19)

AcquaintnowyourselfwithHim[agreewithGodand showyourselftobeconformedtoHiswill]andbeat peace;bythat[youshallprosperandgreat]goodshall cometoyou.(Job22:21)

Whenyouhavelostyourjoy

ForinthedayoftroubleHewillhidemeinHisshelter; inthesecretplaceofHistentwillHehideme;Hewill setmehighuponarock.(Psalm27:5)

Mysoul,waitonlyuponGodandsilentlysubmitto Him;formyhopeandexpectationarefromHim.Heonly ismyRockandmySalvation;HeismyDefenseandmy Fortress;Ishallnotbemoved.(Psalm62:5–6)

Thisismycomfortandconsolationinmyaffliction:that Yourwordhasrevivedmeandgivenmelife.(Psalm 119:50)

ThoughIwalkinthemidstoftrouble,Youwillrevive me;YouwillstretchforthYourhandagainstthewrath ofmyenemies,andYourrighthandwillsaveme.The Lordwillperfectthatwhichconcernsme;Yourmercy

andloving-kindness,OLord,endureforever forsake nottheworksofYourownhands.(Psalm138:7–8)

NowmayourLordJesusChristHimselfandGodour Father,Wholovedusandgaveuseverlasting consolationandencouragementandwell-foundedhope through[His]grace(unmeritedfavor),comfortand encourageyourheartsandstrengthenthem[makethem steadfastandkeepthemunswerving]ineverygood workandword.(2Thessalonians2:16–17)

Whenyouneedpeace

Youwillguardhimandkeephiminperfectand constantpeacewhosemind[bothitsinclinationandits character]isstayedonYou,becausehecommits himselftoYou,leansonYou,andhopesconfidentlyin You.(Isaiah26:3)

Forthoughthemountainsshoulddepartandthehills beshakenorremoved,yetMyloveandkindnessshall notdepartfromyou,norshallMycovenantofpeace andcompletenessberemoved,saystheLord,Whohas compassiononyou.(Isaiah54:10)

PeaceIleavewithyou;My[own]peaceInowgiveand bequeathtoyou.NotastheworldgivesdoIgiveto you.Donotletyourheartsbetroubled,neitherletthem beafraid.[Stopallowingyourselvestobeagitatedand disturbed;anddonotpermityourselvestobefearful andintimidatedandcowardlyandunsettled.](John 14:27)

AndGod’speace[shallbeyours,thattranquilstateof

asoulassuredofitssalvationthroughChrist,andso fearingnothingfromGodandbeingcontentwithits earthlylotofwhateversortthatis,thatpeace]which transcendsallunderstandingshallgarrisonandmount guardoveryourheartsandmindsinChristJesus. (Philippians4:7)

NowmaytheLordofpeaceHimselfgrantyouHis peace(thepeaceofHiskingdom)atalltimesandinall ways[underallcircumstancesandconditions, whatevercomes].TheLord[be]withyouall.(2 Thessalonians3:16)

Whenyouneedforgiveness

Havemercyuponme,OGod,accordingtoYour steadfastlove;accordingtothemultitudeofYour tendermercyandloving-kindnessblotoutmy transgressions.Washmethoroughly[andrepeatedly] frommyiniquityandguiltandcleansemeandmakeme whollypurefrommysin!(Psalm51:1–2)

Purifymewithhyssop,andIshallbeclean [ceremonially];washme,andIshall[inreality]be whiterthansnow.Makemetohearjoyandgladness andbesatisfied;lettheboneswhichYouhavebroken rejoice.HideYourfacefrommysinsandblotoutallmy guiltandiniquities.(Psalm51:7–9)

ButHewaswoundedforourtransgressions,Hewas bruisedforourguiltandiniquities;thechastisement [needfultoobtain]peaceandwell-beingforuswas uponHim,andwiththestripes[thatwounded]Himwe

arehealedandmadewhole.(Isaiah53:5)

Whenyoufeelguiltyandcondemned

Therefore,[thereis]nownocondemnation(no adjudgingguiltyofwrong)forthosewhoareinChrist Jesus,wholive[and]walknotafterthedictatesofthe flesh,butafterthedictatesoftheSpirit.Forthelawof theSpiritoflife[whichis]inChristJesus[thelawofour newbeing]hasfreedmefromthelawofsinandof death.(Romans8:1–2)

ButifChristlivesinyou,[thenalthough]your[natural] bodyisdeadbyreasonofsinandguilt,thespiritis alivebecauseof[the]righteousness[thatHeimputes toyou].(Romans8:10)

WhoshallbringanychargeagainstGod’select[when itis]GodWhojustifies[thatis,Whoputsusinright relationtoHimself?Whoshallcomeforwardand accuseorimpeachthosewhomGodhaschosen?Will God,Whoacquitsus?](Romans8:33)

ForoursakeHemadeChrist[virtually]tobesinWho knewnosin,sothatinandthroughHimwemight become[enduedwith,viewedasbeingin,andexamples of]therighteousnessofGod[whatweoughttobe, approvedandacceptableandinrightrelationshipwith Him,byHisgoodness].(2Corinthians5:21)

Whenyouneedhumility

Heleadsthehumbleinwhatisright,andthehumbleHe

teachesHisway.(Psalm25:9)

TheLordliftsupthehumbleanddowntrodden;He caststhewickeddowntotheground.(Psalm147:6)

Blessed(happy,tobeenvied,andspiritually prosperous withlife-joyandsatisfactioninGod’s favorandsalvation,regardlessoftheiroutward conditions)arethepoorinspirit(thehumble,whorate themselvesinsignificant),fortheirsisthekingdomof heaven!(Matthew5:3)

Whenyoufeelweak

Ihavetoldyouthesethings,sothatinMeyoumay have[perfect]peaceandconfidence.Intheworldyou havetribulationandtrialsanddistressandfrustration; butbeofgoodcheer[takecourage;beconfident, certain,undaunted]!ForIhaveovercometheworld.[I havedepriveditofpowertoharmyouandhave conquereditforyou.](John16:33)

Whenyouneedjustice

RighteousnessandjusticearethefoundationofYour throne;mercyandloving-kindnessandtruthgobefore Yourface.(Psalm89:14)

VengeanceisMine,andrecompense,inthetimewhen theirfootshallslide;forthedayoftheirdisasterisat handandtheirdoomcomesspeedily(Deuteronomy 32:35)

ThereforereturntoyourGod!Holdfasttoloveand

mercy,torighteousnessandjustice,andwait [expectantly]foryourGodcontinually!(Hosea12:6)

Donotjudgeandcriticizeandcondemnothers,sothat youmaynotbejudgedandcriticizedandcondemned yourselves.Forjustasyoujudgeandcriticizeand condemnothers,youwillbejudgedandcriticizedand condemned,andinaccordancewiththemeasureyou [useto]dealouttoothers,itwillbedealtoutagainto you.(Matthew7:1–2)

Vindicateme,OLord,forIhavewalkedinmyintegrity; Ihave[expectantly]trustedin,leanedon,andreliedon theLordwithoutwaveringandIshallnotslide.(Psalm 26:1)

FortheLordwilljudgeandvindicateHispeople,and HewilldelayHisjudgments[manifestingHis righteousnessandmercy]andtakeintofavorHis servants[thosewhomeetHistermsofseparationunto Him].(Psalm135:14)

Donotletyourselfbeovercomebyevil,butovercome (master)evilwithgood.(Romans12:21)

Whenyouneedwisdom

ThereverentfearandworshipoftheLordisthe beginningofWisdomandskill[theprecedingandthe firstessential,theprerequisiteandthealphabet];a goodunderstanding,wisdom,andmeaninghaveall thosewhodo[thewilloftheLord].TheirpraiseofHim enduresforever.(Psalm111:10)

Leanon,trustin,andbeconfidentintheLordwithall

yourheartandmindanddonotrelyonyourown insightorunderstanding.Inallyourwaysknow, recognize,andacknowledgeHim,andHewilldirectand makestraightandplainyourpaths.Benotwiseinyour owneyes;reverentlyfearandworshiptheLordand turn[entirely]awayfromevil.(Proverbs3:5–7)

Happy(blessed,fortunate,enviable)isthemanwho findsskillfulandgodlyWisdom,andthemanwhogets understanding[drawingitforthfromGod’sWordand life’sexperiences],forthegainingofitisbetterthanthe gainingofsilver,andtheprofitofitbetterthanfine gold.SkillfulandgodlyWisdomismorepreciousthan rubies;andnothingyoucanwishforistobecompared toher.(Proverbs3:13–15)

Hearcounsel,receiveinstruction,andaccept correction,thatyoumaybewiseinthetimetocome. (Proverbs19:20)

Ifanyofyouisdeficientinwisdom,lethimaskofthe givingGod[Whogives]toeveryoneliberallyand ungrudgingly,withoutreproachingorfaultfinding,and itwillbegivenhim.(James1:5)

Whenyouneedself-control

ForGoddidnotgiveusaspiritoftimidity(of cowardice,ofcravenandcringingandfawningfear), but[Hehasgivenusaspirit]ofpowerandofloveand ofcalmandwell-balancedmindanddisciplineandselfcontrol.(2Timothy1:7)

Donotbequickinspirittobeangryorvexed,foranger

andvexationlodgeinthebosomoffools.(Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Everythingispermissible(allowableandlawful)forme; butnotallthingsarehelpful(goodformetodo, expedientandprofitablewhenconsideredwithother things).Everythingislawfulforme,butIwillnot becometheslaveofanythingorbebroughtunderits power.(1Corinthians6:12)

Loveendureslongandispatientandkind;lovenever isenviousnorboilsoverwithjealousy,isnotboastful orvainglorious,doesnotdisplayitselfhaughtily.Itis notconceited(arrogantandinflatedwithpride);itis notrude(unmannerly)anddoesnotactunbecomingly.

Love(God’sloveinus)doesnotinsistonitsown rightsoritsownway,foritisnotself-seeking;itisnot touchyorresentful;ittakesnoaccountoftheevildone toit[itpaysnoattentiontoasufferedwrong].(1 Corinthians13:4–5)

Butthefruitofthe[Holy]Spirit[theworkwhichHis presencewithinaccomplishes]islove,joy(gladness), peace,patience(aneventemper,forbearance), kindness,goodness(benevolence),faithfulness, gentleness(meekness,humility),self-control(selfrestraint,continence).Againstsuchthingsthereisno law[thatcanbringacharge].(Galatians5:22–23)

Whenyouhavesufferedloss

BlessedbetheGodandFatherofourLordJesusChrist, theFatherofsympathy(pityandmercy)andtheGod

[WhoistheSource]ofeverycomfort(consolationand encouragement),Whocomforts(consolesand encourages)usineverytrouble(calamityandaffliction) sothatwemayalsobeabletocomfort(consoleand encourage)thosewhoareinanykindoftroubleor distress,withthecomfort(consolationand encouragement)withwhichweourselvesarecomforted (consoledandencouraged)byGod.(2Corinthians1:3–4)

Blessedarethosewhomourn,fortheywillbe comforted.(Matthew5:4NIV)

Yes,thoughIwalkthroughthe[deep,sunless]valley oftheshadowofdeath,Iwillfearordreadnoevil,for Youarewithme;Yourrod[toprotect]andYourstaff [toguide],theycomfortme.(Psalm23:4)

Theywhosowintearsshallreapinjoyandsinging. (Psalm126:5)

Andtheirlifeshallbelikeawateredgarden,andthey shallnotsorroworlanguishanymoreatall.Thenwill themaidensrejoiceinthedance,andtheyoungmen andoldtogether.ForIwillturntheirmourningintojoy andwillcomfortthemandmakethemrejoiceaftertheir sorrow.(Jeremiah31:11–13)

ForIknowthethoughtsandplansthatIhaveforyou, saystheLord,thoughtsandplansforwelfareand peaceandnotforevil,togiveyouhopeinYourfinal outcome.(Jeremiah29:11)

Whenyou’refacinganewchallenge

TheLordismyLightandmySalvation whomshallI fearordread?TheLordistheRefugeandStronghold ofmylife ofwhomshallIbeafraid?(Psalm27:1)

Bestrong,courageous,andfirm;fearnotnorbein terrorbeforethem,foritistheLordyourGodWho goeswithyou;Hewillnotfailyouorforsakeyou. (Deuteronomy31:6)

WaitandhopeforandexpecttheLord;bebraveandof goodcourageandletyourheartbestoutandenduring. Yes,waitforandhopeforandexpecttheLord.(Psalm 27:14)

IhavestrengthforallthingsinChristWhoempowers me[Iamreadyforanythingandequaltoanything throughHimWhoinfusesinnerstrengthintome;Iam self-sufficientinChrist’ssufficiency].(Philippians4:13)

ForwehavebecomefellowswithChrist(theMessiah) andshareinallHehasforus,ifonlyweholdourfirst newbornconfidenceandoriginalassuredexpectation [invirtueofwhichwearebelievers]firmandunshaken totheend.(Hebrews3:14)

[Urgedon]byfaith,Abraham,whenhewascalled, obeyedandwentforthintoaplacewhichhewas destinedtoreceiveasaninheritance;andhewent, althoughhedidnotknowortroublehismindabout wherehewastogo.(Hebrews11:8)

Whenyouarefacingtemptation

GodisourRefugeandStrength[mightyand impenetrabletotemptation],averypresentandwell-

provedhelpintrouble.(Psalm46:1)

InthedaywhenIcalled,Youansweredme;andYou strengthenedmewithstrength(mightandinflexibility totemptation)inmyinnerself.(Psalm138:3)

TeachmetodoYourwill,forYouaremyGod;letyour goodSpiritleadmeintoalevelcountryandintothe landofuprightness.(Psalm143:10)

Myson,ifsinnersenticeyou,donotconsent. (Proverbs1:10)

Myson,donotwalkinthewaywiththem;restrain yourfootfromtheirpath,fortheirfeetruntoevil,and theymakehastetoshedblood.(Proverbs1:16)

Enternotintothepathofthewicked,andgonotinthe wayofevilmen.Avoidit,donotgoonit;turnfromit andpasson.(Proverbs4:14–15)

Keepawakeandwatchandpray[constantly],thatyou maynotenterintotemptation;thespiritindeedis willing,butthefleshisweak.(Mark14:38)

AndwhenHecametotheplace,Hesaidtothem,Pray thatyoumaynot[atall]enterintotemptation.(Luke 22:40)

Donotletyourselfbeovercomebyevil,butovercome (master)evilwithgood.(Romans12:21)

Blessed(happy,tobeenvied)isthemanwhoispatient undertrialandstandsupundertemptation,forwhenhe hasstoodthetestandbeenapproved,hewillreceive [thevictor’s]crownoflifewhichGodhaspromisedto thosewholoveHim.(James1:12)

SobesubjecttoGod.Resistthedevil[standfirm againsthim],andhewillfleefromyou.(James4:7)

Whenyouneedtoimproveyourthinking

Leanon,trustin,andbeconfidentintheLordwithall yourheartandmindanddonotrelyonyourown insightorunderstanding.Inallyourwaysknow, recognize,andacknowledgeHim,andHewilldirectand makestraightandplainyourpaths.(Proverbs3:5–6)

Donotbeconformedtothisworld(thisage), [fashionedafterandadaptedtoitsexternal,superficial customs],butbetransformed(changed)bythe[entire] renewalofyourmind[byitsnewidealsanditsnew attitude],sothatyoumayprove[foryourselves]what isthegoodandacceptableandperfectwillofGod, eventhethingwhichisgoodandacceptableand perfect[inHissightforyou].(Romans12:2)

Stripyourselvesofyourformernature[putoffand discardyouroldunrenewedself]whichcharacterized yourpreviousmanneroflifeandbecomescorrupt throughlustsanddesiresthatspringfromdelusion; andbeconstantlyrenewedinthespiritofyourmind [havingafreshmentalandspiritualattitude],andput onthenewnature(theregenerateself)createdinGod’s image,[Godlike]intruerighteousnessandholiness.

(Ephesians4:22–24)

Fortherest,brethren,whateveristrue,whateveris worthyofreverenceandishonorableandseemly, whateverisjust,whateverispure,whateverislovely andlovable,whateveriskindandwinsomeand gracious,ifthereisanyvirtueandexcellence,ifthereis anythingworthyofpraise,thinkonandweighandtake

(Philippians4:8)

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Life Lines

Welcome Epigraph

Introduction

CONTENTS

PARTI

Chapter1:TheImpactofWords

Chapter2:TamingYourTongue

Chapter3:LearningtoSayWhatGodSays

Chapter4:TheCharacteristicsofaMatureChristian

Chapter5:WhatDoYouWantintheFuture?

Chapter6:StayingStrongThroughtheStormsofLife

Chapter7:DefeatingYourEnemies

Chapter8:HowHappyDoYouWanttoBe?

Chapter9:WordsThatGrievetheHolySpirit

Chapter10:FastingYourWords

Chapter11:SpeakNoEvil

Chapter12:SpeakFaith,NotFear

PARTII

Chapter13:Don’tComplain

Chapter14:WordsofEncouragement

Chapter15:LoveListensandSpeaks

Chapter16:Don’tLettheDevilSpeakThroughYou

Chapter17:DoYouReallyHavetoGiveYourOpinion?

Chapter18:SaySomethingGoodorDon’tSayAnythingatAll

Chapter19:GentleWords

Chapter20:KeepingYourWord

Chapter21:WatchYourMouth

Chapter22:DoYouWanttoChangeYourLife?

AbouttheAuthor

OtherBooksbyJoyceMeyer

Appendix:A Dictionary ofGod’s Word

JoyceMeyerMinistriesU.S.&ForeignOfficeAddresses

Newsletters

Copyright

Copyright

Copyright©2012byJoyceMeyerAllrightsreserved.In accordancewiththeU.S.CopyrightActof1976,thescanning, uploading,andelectronicsharingofanypartofthisbook withoutthepermissionofthepublisherisunlawfulpiracyand theftoftheauthor’sintellectualproperty.Ifyouwouldliketo usematerialfromthebook(otherthanforreviewpurposes), priorwrittenpermissionmustbeobtainedbycontactingthe publisheratpermissions@hbgusa.com.Thankyouforyour supportoftheauthor’srights.

FaithWords

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ISBN978-1-4555-1722-0