What? YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ANIMALS IN PANTS?!?
To Dan: I love you more than leggings. —S.L.
To our nieces and nephews— nephews—LW, EW, VW, BH, WH: Thank you for wearing pants. Love you. —K.H. & K.H.
Text copyright © 2023 Suzy Levinson Illustrations copyright © 2023 Kristen & Kevin Howdeshell Book design by Melissa Nelson Greenberg & Kristen Balouch Design assistance by Shriya Jayanthi Published in 2023 by Cameron + Company, a division of ABRAMS. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available. ISBN: 978-1-951836-62-7 Printed in China 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Cameron Kids is an imprint of Cameron + Company Cameron + Company Petaluma, California www.cameronbooks.com
by
Suzy Levinson
illustrated by
Kristen & Kevin Howdeshell
CAT-ITUDE This cat wears pants. They’re custom-made in tiger-striped velour. You can’t ignore a cat in pants. That’s what he wears them for.
DOWNWARD DOG Placid pooch in yoga pants lays her mat upon the floor. Standing, bending, sitting, stretching, curling, rolling, resting, SNORE.
SQUIRRELLY If you had to leap through the highest of branches and skip across phone lines and scamper in gutters . . . If you had to spring off the tallest of fences and pop over rooftops to greet fellow nutters . . . If you had to dash from the barkiest neighbors and dive into hollows when something’s amiss . . . wouldn’t you wear a sweet tracksuit like this?
BY YONDER TRASH CANS Hark, dost thou hear it? it? Forsooth, ’tis raccoons! They’re feasting on foodstuffs in fine pantaloons.
DIG IT Hey, funky chicken, get down tonight! Bell-bottom disco pants? Lookin’ all right! Boogie-woogie-woogie with those flared-out legs! Electric slide! Groove and glide! All together! Shake a feather! Do the bump! Move your rump! Just WATCH OUT FOR EGGS.
SPIDER PANTS Before every waterspout climb, spiders put pants on one leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a . . . leg at a time.
DEEP THOUGHTS If a snake yanked a sock to his face and then belted the sock into place, do you think there’s a chance that we’d call the sock “pants”? Or would we say “pant” in that case? case
ON THE RANGE Home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope change! They slip into sweats,
then do pirouettes . . .
Don’t you think that’s kind of strange?
TAKE HEED Don’t put a goat in overalls. Really. I mean it. They tend to eat their overalls. Trust me. I’ve seen it.
YAK FACTS According to yaks, pants aren’t pants. They’re slacks.
COOL Up in the North where it’s icy and cold, polar bears often wear snow pants, we’re told. They tug them! They pull them!
They cinch them up tight!
But you’d never know ’cause their snow pants are white.
PENGUIN SUITS Penguins loathe formality although their tails are black. If penguins could, they’d put on jeans and send those tuxes back.
PUNXSUTAWNEY PANTS Far below a barren field that’s looking fairly frozen, groundhogs dance the polka in their cozy lederhosen.
MEANWHILE, IN FLORIDA Flamingos head to bingo in their pink capris. Pelicans in pedal pushers shoot the breeze. Spoonbills sport Bermuda shorts beneath palm trees. Every day’s a pants parade for birds like these.
MANA-SQUEEZE Manatees don dungarees when drifting through the drink. Sadly, warm and salty seas cause dungarees to shrink.
UNDERCOVER Do you wonder what is under every turtle’s shell? Underpants are what is under. Undershirts, as well.
THE KING-AROOS Elvis left the building but forgot his kangaroos, jivin’ in their jumpsuits and their blue suede shoes.
HANDY PANTS Monkeys like cargos with matching bandanas. They need lots of pockets to hold their bananas. You won’t catch a monkey who’s wearing a suit! Not enough pockets. You know, for the fruit.
OH MY Lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) want to give button-fly flares a try, but claws can cause snagging and tears. That’s why
they have to keep multiple pairs nearby.
FASHION POLICE Cheetahs in leopard-print leggings? So sleek! Horses in zebra-print jeggings? Trés chic! Porcupines stuffed into unitards? Eek.
DRY CLEANING Elephants never forget to do laundry. laundry. They’re always impeccably dressed. Their skin may look wrinkled and crinkled and creased but their chinos are perfectly pressed.
SPOTTISH Pants: they don’t fit when your legs are like stilts. That’s why giraffes wear kilts.
ANIMALS IN LINE The bad news? This tailor’s incredibly slow. It takes him forever to stitch and to sew. To let out a pant seam, it could be a year. To add a new zipper, the timeline’s unclear. He fusses and frets over each inch of cloth . . .
The good news? He’s fast for a sloth.
What? YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ANIMALS IN HATS?!?