15: Flatting by Salient

The Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria University, Wellington

salient.org.nz

Issue 15 Flatting

volume

15 issue

july

2011

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

The Team

Editors: Elle Hunt and Uther Dean editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Dan Hutchinson designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Stella Blake-Kelly news@salient.org.nz Chief Reporter: Natalie Powlesland natalie@salient.org.nz Feature Writer: Selina Powell selina@salient.org.nz

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Feature Writer: Zoe Reid zoe@salient.org.nz Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo carlo@salient.org.nz Online Editor: James Hurndell james@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Louise Burston arts@salient.org.nz

Contributors

Sam Northcott, Grae Hunter, Seamus Brady, Asher Emanuel, Josh Van Veen, Edward Warren, Paul Comrie-Thomson, Callum McDougal, Conrad Reyners, Molly McCarthy, Lewis van den Berg-Shaw, Robert Mitchell, Doc Watson, Nicola Wood, Alex Braae, Robyn Holdaway, Michael Collins, Charles Panic, Dave the Beer Guy, Ben Wylie-van Eerd, Joe Gallagher, Cruz Johnson, Auntie Sharon, Ally Garrett, Constance Cravings, Angharad O’Flynn, Flo Motion Wilson, Kiran Matthews, Judah Finnigan, Johnny Crawford, Fairooz Samy, Donnie Cuzens, Martin Doyle, Robert Kelly,Jonathan Price, Jason Govenlock, Sarita Lewis, Romany Tasker-Poland, Renee Lyons, Russ Kale, Robyn Kenealy, D Laff, and Michael Langdon.

Co-tributors of the week:

Molly McClassy and Mikey Langdon. Salient’s foreign correspondents return!

About Us

Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). It is printed by APN Print of Tauranga. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp, Katie Lock, Diana Xavier, Shelly Langman, Hayley Jordan, Traci Mono Eggleston, Ellen Walsh-Jones, Louise Barker, Nick Fazakerley, Aaron Askew, Campion Kahuroa, Hilary Milne, Selena Brownson, Rene Askew, or Stephanie Wood but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

Contact

VUWSA Student Media Centre Level 3, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz

Advertising

Contact: Howard Pauling Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

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Subscriptions: Too lazy to walk to uni to pick up a copy of your favourite mag? We can post them out to you for a nominal fee. $40 for Vic student, $55 for everyone else. Please send an email containing your contact details with ‘subscription’ in the subject line to editor@salient.org.nz This issue is dedicated to all the good flatmates we’ve ever had. Thanks for the pasta and poached eggs, guys.

Issue 15 Flatting

The Regular Bits Editorial 3 Ngāi Tauira 6 News 7 The Week That Wasn’t

Overheard @ Vic

editorial

Issue 15 Flatting

Faces to Deface 28 Notices 43 Letters 44 Puzzles 46 Comics 47

The Features Your Stories, Your Advice

First Year Flatting 18 The People You Will Live With

Welcome to the Jungle

Flatmate Romances 23 You Can’t Beat the Suburbs of Wellington

Youth Law: Flatting 26 Find a Flat Fast

The Columns VUWSA President 4 VUWSA Exec 5 Politics with Paul

Laying Down the Law

Beer Will Be Beer

Lovin’ From The Oven

Healthy Minds on Campus

Animal of the Week

Failure to Communicate

The 7th Inning Stretch

Bent 33 Peas & Queues

I Am Offended Because...

Ask Constance 35

The Arts Music 36 Film 37 Books 38 Games 39 Theatre 40

The Flatting Issue

Uther & Elle

At time of writing, Uther’s flat will not hav e had hot water for three and a half weeks . The landlord has claim ed on no fewer than six occasions that he would come round and fix it wit hin two days. This has not yet occurred. Uther and his flatmates have been using the shower the abandoned house nex in t door to maintain basic standards of hygiene (Elle: “How do you get in?” Uther: “The doors are unlocked.”) This is not an altogether uncommon experience when it comes to rental accommodation in Wellington. There are the flats with vomit splattered—inexplicably , gravity-defyingly—on the ceiling. There are the flats where the rat s are so settled in, they’v e become acclimatised humans and will attack to on sight. There are the flats with cracks in the windows, holes in the roof, mould behind the curtains, no insulation. Of course, the actual bui lding itself is but one par t of the triangle of flatting. In one corner, there’s Good Flatmates; in the other, there’s Go Flat; and, finally, there od is Affordability. You can have any two corners the expense of the third. at Either your flatting exp eriences can be worth shit, or your credit rat ing can. The need to eat usually balances that choice in your bank acc ount’s favour. Flatting is shit, sure, but you have to do it. Ignori ng the somewhat pointless argument tha t flatting in a cold, leaky dump is a ‘character building’ (as though any such constructed ritual carries any weight wit our development as peo h ple), the realities of the current evils of capitalism means that society bas ically insists that you rou gh it for your universi years. What’s more, the ty re’s something quite un savory about people wh live with their parents o past the age of twenty. As the cost of rent contin ues, relentlessly, to ris e—six years ago, $120 a week would be the mo st expensive you’d see—l andlords continue to at best not care and at wo rst be actively negligent. Flatting has become the bane of the post-first-ye ar experience, rather tha n the first flap of your freedom wings into the real world sky. This, our Flatting issue, is our attempt to bale out a bit of the brine that is flooding the goo d ship Rental Accommo dation. If you’re in a Ha of Residence now: you ll have been warned. If you ’re not, well, we don’t need to tell you about the banes of cohabitation. And if you live with you parents—get out. r Please do your dishes, Elle & Uther

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Salient Vol. 74

PREZ COL

Jav-MaH

president@vuwsa.org.nz vuwsa.org.nz facebook.com/vuwsa

Columns

Seamus Brady

The Conservative Party in the United Kingdom have recently made moves to strengthen the role students’ associations play in their tertiary education system. Here in New Zealand we are faced with the painful irony that an equivalent Government is seeking to do the complete opposite. By continuing to support the ACT Party’s radical and unnecessary Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) Bill it seems National just doesn’t think enough. Rather than listening to 98 per cent of submissions against the Bill (including over two-thirds of the written substantive submissions) and seeking a reasonable compromise that helps to lift the achievement of associations, they seem more comfortable jeopardising credible student representation and cost-effective services provided by many students’ associations across the country. In a paper outlining reforms to the UK’s Higher Education system, Conservative Minister for Universities David Willetts praised the contributions that students’ association make by saying: “Students’ unions are an important part of the civil society within higher education institutions. Effective students’ unions are prime examples of organisations run for and by their members. They can help greatly in improving dialogue and facilitating stronger partnerships between higher education institutions and their students… Students’ unions also play an important role in the pastoral care of students…These roles will become more important in the future.” Even a Government that triples tuition fees and carries out massive public service cuts still recognises the importance of putting students at the heart of the system.

That’s because student representation supported by strong students’ associations is a critical component of university decision-making and well-resourced representatives contribute significantly to the development of policy and strategy. They also keep institutions like Victoria accountable to their most important stakeholders—you, the students. Students and institutions will both lose out under VSM. In its current form, the ACT Party’s Bill is bad for students, bad for students’ associations, bad for tertiary institutions and bad for the broader tertiary education sector. Students’ associations are open to improving and enhancing the current law, which lets students—not politicians— In its current form, choose how to organise the ACT Party’s Bill themselves on campus. A practical and is bad for students, pragmatic solution to bad for students’ association membership is associations, bad needed to put the issue to tertiary institutions rest once and for all—this is the third incarnation of and bad for the such a Bill in a decade. We broader tertiary need to work together to education sector ensure the best outcomes for students. There are fairer, more enduring alternatives to this Bill that ensures students continue to get the best possible services, representation and campus experiences possible. National should drop its support for ACT’s destructive and unnecessary Bill. The students of today and tomorrow deserve to enjoy the benefits and services of students’ associations, just as their predecessors did. You can find out more about valuing our voice and other issues facing our education at demandabetterfuture.org.nz. Have a great week. Seamus Brady

Issue 15 Flatting

Vice-President (Welfare)

Campaigns Officer

Asher Emanuel My flatmates are filthy animals. I, by contrast, am a domestic deity, replete with immortal beauty and a sweet cape of cleanliness. This is the paradox of our time (my flat): each of us adopts the self-serving position that the decrepitude of the flat is not our fault. I’ll never take responsibility for cleaning the toilet, even though it was I who regurgitated half a box of Kristov Tropical all over the floor. I’ll never take responsibility for cleaning the oven, even though it was I who regurgitated half a box of Kristov Feijoa deep inside its oven-hole. Most egregiously, I’ll never take responsibility for burying the cat, even though it was I who forgot to feed it.* Maybe my lack of effort around the flat is because I’m a child-like asshole, but I prefer to disguise my personal failings with opaque jargon. I’m not lazy: the flat suffers from a Tragedy of the Commons (like when everyone hunts too many whales and then all the whales are gone). We have no roster: rather just a loose agreement that on some unspecified times, some unspecified flatmate will clean some unspecified object. This has not worked.

Asher’s First Wise Thought: A flat should have a clear understanding of individuals’ responsibilities to the group, both in terms of what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and to what standard it should be done. It sounds simple, but I think I’m very clever and this never occurred to me. If you don’t have such an understanding, everyone operates under selfish incentives, leading them to pillage the ocean of all its whales/never remove their miscellaneous bodily fluids from the curtains. Everyone needs robust accountability mechanisms.

Asher’s Second Wise Thought: Use available resources. My grandmother has regularly informed me that products readily available around the home can be as effective as expensive cleaning products. Some of these may come as a surprise to you: Vinegar mixed with water in a 1:1 ratio can be used in the kitchen and bathroom to remove soap scum and general filth. It is a natural disinfectant and removes dastardly odours. Lemon can be used to shine copper and brass fittings, such as those on doors. Make sure your all your knobs are shiny for that flat inspection. Baking soda can be left in its box inside the fridge or freezer to deal to the elusive fridgesmell. It can also be used as a substitute for abrasive cleaners such as Jif. Water is free and it comes from the tap. You just have to scrub hard enough.

Asher’s Obligatory VUWSA-related (but still wise) Comment: If you end up in a dispute with your crazy landlord or your incorrigible flatmates, VUWSA has a Student Advocate available to assist you in resolving the issue. She has extensive experience in assisting students with a range of difficult issues. You can get in contact with her at: advocate@ vuwsa.org.nz I wish you all the best in your hygiene-related endeavours, Asher Emanuel wvp@vuwsa.org.nz

Josh Van Veen Greetings everyone, I trust the new trimester is going well for you. Last week was Environmental Week. The highlight for me, of course, was the well-attended political youth wing debate on the ETS. Special thanks go out to ACT on Campus, VicLabour, VicNats, and the Greens@Vic for taking part. With just four months until the election, the politicos among you have plenty to look forward to in the second part of the year. On Thursday 4 August, we’ll be hosting a forum on the MMP referendum. Speakers from both the pro and anti-MMP groups will slug it out. We’ve also got brilliant political scientist Dr Therese Arseneau of Canterbury University on hand to offer some fair and balanced analysis. Then, on Monday 8 August, we’ve got a Meet the Candidates Forum. The Wellington Central candidates from each of the main parties have agreed to come along and introduce themselves. They’ll take your questions, and hopefully engage in some spirited debate. Put it in your diary! There will, of course, be more events as the trimester unfolds. So keep an eye out for the posters, and information in Salient. Also, I’m pleased to announce that thanks to Students for Palestine and the persistence of Anita Clarke and my predecessor Sam Oldham, the first Student Representative Council forum of 2011 is scheduled to be held this Friday (29 July) at 2pm in the Memorial Theatre Foyer of the Student Union Building. The motion: for VUWSA to support the ‘Right to Education’ campaign in the West Bank, Palestine. The guest speaker: veteran protestor and Springbok Tour agitator John Minto. Personally, I couldn’t think of a more divisive issue and speaker if I tried! Whatever your feelings about the topic, I do implore you to go along and find out more (or even to throw stuff at Minto). Finally, let me just thank Queer Officer Tom Reed and UniQ for their great work on Pride Week and in getting VUWSA’s Safe Space program off the ground. Josh van Veen campaigns.officer@vuwsa.org.nz

*Author’s note: This has never actually happened, I’m just prone to fictionalisation. I love cats, and if I owned one, I would never neglect it. As for my proclivity for vomiting, I will allow the reader to form their own conclusion.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Ngāi Tauira Ngā Whare Whakaruruhau “He kokona whare e kitea, he kokona ngākau e kore e kitea” He wā i a mātou i ngā tau kua pahure, arā, he wā o ngā whare o Tōreni, o SKR, o Sussex, o OGS, o ngā whare Whānau ki Fairlie hoki. Ko ērā tau tuatahi o mātou ngā tuakana o ēnei rā, e kore e kitea inaiānei. I tū ngā whare nei hei whakaruruhau mō mātou ngā kāhui ākonga. I rarau atu mātou ki ia whare mō ngā hui pēnei i ngā wā whakangāhau, i ngā wānanga mō te kura, i ngā rā – me ngā pō – whakanui whare. Nā ēnei huihuinga o mātou ka raranga, ka herea te muka a tēnā ki tēnā, ka puta ko mātou ngā hapū o Ngāi Tauira iwi. Heoi anō, moroki noa nei kua pau te wā i a mātou ki ēnei whare, ā, ko ētahi o mātou kua puta ki ngā tōpito o Aotearoa, o te Ao hoki. Ko ērā o mātou e whanatu tonu ana i tēnei ara poutama o te mātauranga, he mea whakamaumahara atu ki ērā wā, ki ērā hoa o mātou i hāpai ki te pīkau i ngā taumahatanga o te whare wānanga. Ahakoa kei te tū tonu ēnei whare, he kōiwi noa iho i te rirohanga atu o te kikokiko i whakatinanahia ēnei kāinga. Nō reira, kia mōhio mai koutou mā e rapu haere i tētahi whare noho mō koutou i ēnei wā, ko te mea nui he tangata, he tangata, he tangata.

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Issue 15 Flatting

the news

Edited by Stella Blake-kelly

EYE on Exec 18/07/11

Stella Blake-Kelly

The twelfth meeting of the VUWSA General Exec was not as energised as I’d expected following their attendance at the recent NZUSA conference of motivational talks and free food. In fact, there was an air of melancholy in the room.

‘Renegade’ Activities Officer Campbell Herbert, who left VUWSA last trimester (but not before taking a stab at the exec in his Salient column), received a brief mention, with one exec member exclaiming “Has he gone yet?” Wilson confirmed this, stating that “according to Facebook, he’s left. It said Campbell has now left his job”. President Seamus did not think it was worthwhile to hold a by-election for Herbert’s position. Instead, the exec will take their routine mid-year trip to the personal sections, and will advertise for a non-voting position. Over and done in 26 minutes, this excitement was over quicker than a mid-week sitcom. I strongly encourage students to come join me in the cheap seats. The things we do for you.

Uncharacteristically, all but one exec member was present, with only Vice-President (Welfare) Asher Emanuel sending his apologies. Formalities, such as the perusal of minutes of the previous meeting and work reports, passed without question. International Officer Andy Gao received a passiveaggressive reminder that whatever he puts in his work report ought to be relevant to his position. Vice-President (Administration) Daniel Wilson had been on leave, so failed to table his work report. However, he took his job on holiday with him, claiming that “the most depressing thing you’ll ever find in your life is giving tax advice from Vietnam”. Next on the agenda was sorting out free lunchtime soup stalls. It’s comforting to know that even our student representatives struggle to make a chores roster. Even with the incentive of free bus passes, exec members were reluctant to leave the comfort of Kelburn’s ivory towers for the Te Aro and Pipitea campuses. “I can’t commit to anything right now” and “it’s not you, it’s me” were tossed around like it was the Kahui blame game. salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

John Key goes on OE to USA Finds Obama, but not himself Alex Braae Prime Minister John Key was in the United States last week and met luminaries such as President Obama and Mark Zuckerberg. While in Washington, Key discussed issues such as the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement and the possibility of continued involvement of New Zealand troops in Afghanistan. He also met with New Zealand Ambassador to the United States, Mike Moore. Key made a flying visit to Los Angeles to attend high-level meetings with executives from leading technology and film companies including New Line Cinema, Warner Bros, Google and Facebook. He also informally met Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook headquarters in San Jose. A spokesman for Key said these meetings were to discuss technology and innovation. He also suggested there may be potential for New Zealand to capitalise on investment opportunities. Key’s time in the US was partially overshadowed by domestic issues when he was questioned about the possibility of Israeli Mossad agents being in Christchurch for February’s earthquake. Domestic US issues also dominated much of Key’s visit as Obama attempts to negotiate with Republicans over debt and public spending. Key’s visit was his first to the White House and may signal a warming of diplomatic ties with the America.

OUSA Prez locks himself in Metaphor Natalie Powlesland The president of the Otago University’s Student Association, Logan Edgar, came up with a novel way to protest Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) last week. Edgar locked himself in a cage from 7pm on Monday until 1pm on Wednesday. This “Presidential Prison” was a way to symbolise how students have been locked out of the decision-making process surrounding VSM. Of the 5000 submissions received on the issue, 98 per cent opposed the bill. Despite this opposition, the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill is currently progressing through Parliament with the support of the ACT and National Parties. “They are locking us out, so I am locking myself in to make a stand to protect the wide variety of services students associations offer their students,” says Edgars. NZUSA supported the protest and believe the cage also symbolises the ‘lock out’ from services students will suffer should VSM become a reality. “Students would be locked out of the student services, campus life, and independent representation and advocacy that associations currently provide,” said Co-President of NZUSA, David Do. ACT Party MP, and initiator of the Bill, Heather Roy, says Edgar’s protest shows the opposite of what he intended. “Perhaps Logan is bored. His planned protest makes the opposite point to what he presumably intends. Voluntary Student Membership will free students from the cage of student associations, it won’t lock anyone in or out—as Mr Edgar is claiming,” Roy said.

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Issue 15 Flatting

Alleged Torturer Tortures Students with Talk-ture Molly McCarthy

Victoria University’s Law Faculty was host to one of New Zealand’s banned persons, Third Fiji Infantry Lieutenant Colonel Tevita Mara, who held two meetings there last Thursday during his short trip to the country. Mara, who is banned from entering New Zealand for his involvement in Fiji’s 2000 and 2006 coups, including alleged torture, was allowed into the country for five days last week to meet with Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade (MFAT) officials, New Zealand’s Democracy in Fiji group, local Fijians and the Maori Party. During his meetings at Victoria, Mara explained why he had left Commodore Bainimarama’s regime, which subsequently led to his arrest and escape from the country in May this year. “In early 2007 we began to see... that the journey that was put together... was not on the agenda. We were taking a totally different route.” Mara said his discussions with MFAT on Thursday had covered the reality of the situation in Fiji; the prospect of holding democratic elections there, and “other things”. He was reluctant to go into details about possible new sanction measures to be undertaken by New Zealand. But said he would like the government to take a stronger stance, if doing so meant that Fiji would be returned more quickly to to its former democracy. At the end of the meeting Mara’s minder made an appeal to the “budding lawyers” of New Zealand to look into the possibility of creating laws that could apply to New Zealand citizens who are involved in the current military regime. The meetings were also held to highlight the important role of the press in a democracy and to enable Mara to get his message across, as he said this was impossible through Fiji’s heavily-censored press. Mara will next head to Tonga and then Samoa, as he makes his way through member-states of the Pacific Islands Forum.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Death becoming more attractive fiscal choice Natalie Powlesland

If you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember the last time you bought cheese, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not alone. New Zealanders are experiencing higher living costs across the board, and students are no exception.

For the year ending 30 June 2011, petrol prices have increased by 20 per cent, food by seven per cent, and electricity by 7.8 per cent. The consumer price index (CPI) rose by 5.3 per cent, the biggest single increase since 1990. These increases have left many New Zealanders feeling the pinch this winter. Among this group are students who are finding their student loans increasingly inadequate. Currently, a student receiving the student loan can claim up to $169.51 per week. In June 2010, the maximum entitlement was $160.63. This means the living costs payment has increased by only 5.5 per cent. Despite the rise in living cost payments being greater than the rise in the CPI, students are still struggling to make ends meet. It is acknowledged that the rise in GST (to 15 per cent) has been a strong contributing factor in the rise of the CPI. However students have been disproportionately hit by the GST rise because most do not work (or work enough hours) so have not had the extra cost offset by tax cuts.

Issue 15 Flatting

Because students have been disproportionately hit by the increase in GST, the money they have left after paying rent is not going as far as it did a year ago. According to the Department of Building and Housing, the average weekly rent for a four bedroom flat in Kelburn or Aro Valley is $146 per person. This means many students have only $23.51 to cover their remaining expenses. This amount becomes increasingly inadequate when looking at the price of ‘student essentials’ at the supermarket. A loaf of supermarket brand bread is now approximately $1.70, two litres of milk $3.60, 500g of dried pasta $1.10 and a head of broccoli $3.40. Add to these the increased cost of power to heat a cold flat and the situation looks dire. Many Victoria students have been expressing their frustration over these rising costs. “Pasta is always a good cheap meal and at the start of the year I could get a bag for 70 cents. In some places it’s nearly double that now,” says one student. “I never use my clothes dryer anymore, power makes it too expensive to run,” says another.

VUWSA to make you feel Safe and not just by holding you Nicola Wood

VUWSA has launched a Campus Safety Audit after a recent survey revealed many students don’t feel safe at the university. Of the more than 4000 students who participated in VUWSA's consultation, many highlighted safety on campus as a key issue which needs to be addressed. VUWSA President Seamus Brady says the students' association is dedicated to ensuring all student experiences at Victoria are positive.

Other students are keen to share their money saving tips with others.

“This includes students feeling like they are studying in a safe academic and social environment. Sadly however, for some students, this is not always the case”.

“I never buy veges from the supermarket anymore, the markets on the weekend are the way to go!” says one student.

The highest level of concern about a safety issues came from women. Of those who took the survey, 26 per cent felt there was inadequate lighting and a lack of safe pathways on campus.

Green Party Co-Leader Metiria Turei and Labour Party Leader Phil Goff have both voiced concern with the rising cost of living and the effect this is having on those who have not benefited from tax cuts.

Discrimination was also identified as an issue, with 18 per cent of Asian students saying this made them feel unsafe.

“Many people on low-incomes and benefits are forced to spend their entire income on the basics like rent and power, while putting fresh, healthy food on the table is out now out of the question,” says Turei.

The information gathered in the Audit will be supplemented by physical examinations of areas highlighted as problematic by students.

“Something needs to be done to help struggling Kiwis feel there is some hope,” says Goff. The Labour Party’s recently announced tax policies could go some way to helping low-income earners with the cost of living. Their plans to remove GST on fruit and vegetables and make the first $5000 of income tax-free could take some pressure off struggling students. For students who are suffering financially, VUWSA provides many services designed to lend a hand, including providing a food bank and free bread to students on Wednesday mornings.

Brady says the first step of the Safety Audit will be an anonymous student survey. He says this will be followed by focus groups of students from specific demographics.

Brady says the intended outcome of the Audit is to put together a series of recommendations for VUWSA and Victoria University to act on, as well as providing a student voice in any review of safety and security by the University. Campus Services' Associate Director Rainsforth Dix says that while there is no formal review of safety and campus security currently being undertaken by the University, information gathered by VUWSA will be valuable. “Any information gained from students, such as the survey being undertaken by VUWSA, will be beneficial in the development of our work programme,” says Dix. More information on VUWSA’s Safety Audit can be found at vuwsa.org.nz.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Making themselves NZUSEFUL Stella Blake-Kelly

NZUSA has acknowledged the elephant in the room—how it would operate under Voluntary Student Membership (VSM)— with a document passed at its July conference that aims to make the organisation more sustainable. The document, entitled ‘Redefining our National Voice’ explores how well NZUSA would function under VSM, which would have huge effects on membership to students’ associations nationwide. “We’re obviously responding to the threat of VSM,” says NZUSA co-president Max Hardy. “There was a need to take a hard look at what we do and refocus our activities a bit better.” The report outlines proposed changes to the structure, governance and staffing of NZUSA, including a move from two co-presidents to one president, supported by two vice-presidents. The organisation will also become directly responsible to a board, rather than a federation of students’ association presidents. Other significant changes include the appointment by the board of an executive director of the organisation. It is hoped that this will provide a longer-term outlook to NZUSA’s development, responding to problems arising from the fixed-term contracts of most students’ association presidents. Labour MP and former NZUSA president Grant Robinson is supportive of such a change. “[I’ve always supported] the idea of an executive director because I think that helps with that continuity,” he says. In the future, greater emphasis will be placed on research to shape and reinforce NZUSA’s setting of policies, which were in the past largely shaped by the union’s ideologies. This will see NZUSA work towards securing more pragmatic gains for students. “We are turning away from being dogmatic or ideological, because students are a broad group of people and they have broad interests,” says Hardy. The reform has received support from ACT on Campus President Peter McCaffrey, who has been vocal in his criticism of NZUSA in the past.

“The implementation of this program of reform will allow NZUSA to more accurately and fairly represent the views of all students,” says McCaffrey. NZUSA also aims to improve communication with its members by way of a student database. However, Hardy notes that NZUSA is a small organisation that relies heavily on its member students’ associations to advertise the union’s campaigns on campus. All of these changes at least in part respond to the prospect of operating on a hugely reduced budget under VSM. NZUSA is currently funded by a levy of $4.90 per full-time student, which is paid by member students’ associations. Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association paid $85,000 to be represented by NZUSA this year. The threat of VSM has already had an impact on NZUSA with the dissolution of the National Right’s Officer position, and reduced funding to Maori students’ associations and support groups such as UniQ Aotearoa. “All our budgets have been reduced because of the threat of VSM. We need to show we are actively delivering value for money.” For details on NZUSA’s election campaign go to facebook.com/ demandabetterfuture

No Debate over DEBSOC victory Alex Braae The Victoria University Debating Society have successfully defended their Australasian Intervarsity Debating Championship title in South Korea this month, with Vic 1 (Seb Templeton, Richard D'Ath and Udayan Mukherjee) beating the National University of Singapore in the final. Vic 1 entered the final as favourites having already defeated the first-ranked Monash team in the semi-finals. Mukherjee also won the Jock Fanslow Cup for the best speaker of the final, and was winner of the tournament for a second consecutive year, a remarkable achievement. Templeton was named the third best speaker of the preliminary rounds, while D'Ath and Mukherjee both narrowly missed out on top 10 spots. Vic 2 and Vic 3 also performed commendably, with Vic 2 (Asher Emanuel, Paul Smith and Holly Jenkins) making the knock-out rounds before losing to Monash, and Vic 3 (Liv Hall, Alex Sinclair and Cameron Price) placing 30th out of 114 teams. Daniel Wilson also ably represented Victoria as an adjudicator, judging the ESL Final. Over the past five years, Victoria Debating Society has reached the grand final four times, a record unmatched by any other University.

Issue 15 Flatting

c Bla Bla Bla

Police Break Up Re-O Week Party

We use ‘party’ in the loosest sense of the word Edward Warren A party held at a student flat celebrating Re-Orientation Week was closed down last Saturday night following complaints from neighbours that it was “just downright depressing” and that the partygoers “looked bored as anything”. The 14 person-strong gathering began attracting attention from nearby residents when, due to a technical malfunction, the music cut out and there was no other noise. “It was the pits,” recalls next-door neighbour, 36-year-old Paige Harris. “I knew there were people in there—I can see in the lounge from my kitchen—and they were all just awkwardly sitting around. No loud drunk conversations, no screaming girls, nothing. It really started to get me down.” The official police statement was released early Sunday morning, as the over-prepared squad were able to get an early night, having closed the “sad little get-together” down before 11pm. “It was a difficult night for the force, but not because of your usual aggressive, drunk students—there was barely any resistance, and in fact that was the hardest part. The youths concerned seemed all too aware of how dreadful the occasion really was. “We were all a bit excited to throw a few punks in the paddy wagon—it’s definitely one of the perks of the job. Tim here got to smack a girl in the face during O-Week and she was so slizzered, she didn’t even know! So yeah, watching this motley crew of half-drunk sacks of crap amble off the property was a real downer,” Police Commissioner Margaret Davis told the press. Recent surveys undertaken by Youth and Youth Culture or The Lack Thereof NZ have revealed that the current student body of New Zealand aged 17-24 “aren’t nearly as loose as [they] were when [they] were students”. An acquiescent study carried out by the Road Cone Crime Commission (RCCC) has yielded proof of a worrying drop in the numbers of road cone-related crimes such as road cone sword fights, and the use of road cones as missiles launched at moving vehicles. The RCCC warns that if the relevant social group don’t “start wrecking more shit on the piss, future generations are going to think you’re giant babies.”

Email snippets of life at Vic to overheard@salient.org.nz, or find Overheard @ Vic on Facebook

the week that wasn’t

Student walking out of vicbooks: “I’d rather spend my money on hoes.” - Wade Steven Gosper INTP 113 lecturer, mid-sentence: “Am I freaking out? I can hear a bird. Can you hear a bird? There is a bird? We really are in the State of Nature!” - Miranda Orpin Student 1: “How do I tell my beard to leave? I don’t think it gets the hint...” Student 2: “Use a razor, or take some oestrogen tablets.” - Sriram Venkatesh Overheard in MDIA 102: “What colour is this carpet? This isn’t a trick question—seriously, there’s green, blue, pink... You got to see this, maaaaaaaan.” - Lauren Wilson ARCI 312 Structures lecturer: “You can imagine it like a giraffe standing on ice...” [proceeds to do impression] - Emily Batchelor Student outside Kelburn library at the automatic doors, refusing to open: “Come on! I have a soul!” - Russ Kale Overheard in the Hunter Lounge Girl: “I wonder if I could find that hot guy through Overheard?” Friend: “What, like advertise you’re trying to stalk him?” - Chelsea Saywell Text sent to me after PSYC 122 lecture: “I just murdered a brown snake” - Katie Boyle MARK 101 lecturer: “If you leave your assignment to the last minute, you WILL die—last semester, some students died the most appalling death.” - Jacqui Smith Student outside vicbooks: “You see more stuff when you’re looking.” - Alun Maich

salient.org.nz

Columns

Salient Vol. 74

Capital Gains Paul Comrie-thomson, that is

Labour’s capital gains tax (CGT) has been at the forefront of political discussion for a few weeks now, despite only officially being announced within the last ten days. It is important because it is the first sign that the Labour Party might be gearing up to play an effective role in contesting November’s election, as well as tabling a long-overdue policy debate. Of course, last week’s TVNZ Colmar Brunton poll that showed support for Labour had dropped to a ten-year low at just 27 per cent doesn’t appear to reflect a positive response for the proposed CGT. But, as Goff correctly pointed out, the poll shouldn’t be taken as a judgment on the CGT: “It’s too early on in the piece.” To be sure, the polling data—or some sections of it— could actually give Labour some confidence in their new policy. The poll registered 43 per cent in favour of a CGT, with 49 per cent against. Admittedly this isn’t anything near the support needed, but it is certainly an adequate showing for a policy that remains to be convincingly sold to voters. Furthermore, polling that pits the CGT against asset sales sees support increase dramatically, and it is this dichotomous debate on which this year’s election will no doubt be fought. Which is the lesser of two evils? Or, put another way, which party’s policy do the voters dislike less? New Zealand is an anomaly in that we don’t already have a CGT. Economists from the OECD, the IMF and from Treasury have been calling on successive NZ administrations to introduce such a tax, and many academics, analysts and commentators are welcoming the debate. The key argument for a CGT is that without it, there is an incentive for investors to funnel their money towards speculative investments—primarily housing— which is unproductive for the economy. A CGT, it is argued, would direct this investment toward exportoriented industries, which would actually benefit the country as a whole.

Furthermore, in the short-term, Labour have illustr-ated that their proposed 15 per cent CGT would allow for the introduction of a tax-free first $5000 of earnings, the removal of GST on fresh fruit and vegetables (which is becoming more relevant with current inflationary pressures), and a significant increase in research and development spending. And Labour’s good news doesn’t appear to end there. In making the policy as palatable as possible, the tax has been set at an indisputably low rate—lower than the income tax for anyone earning over $14,000—with numerous exceptions ranging from the family home, to many of those Cantabrians The key argument for affected by the Christchurch earthquakes. a CGT is that without A CGT does have signifiit, there is an incentive cant credibility, and despite for investors to funnel being a tax, if Labour can their money towards sell it to the electorate, while speculative investments— continuing to set it against primarily housing—which National’s plan for asset sales, we could be in for a is unproductive for the closer result in November’s economy election than has long been anticipated. The technocratic element of the proposed CGT will be a barrier Labour needs to contend with in convincing the electorate. Scoop’s Gordon Campbell has set out clearly in the following (lengthy) argument how it should be sold, and it is worth quoting in full: Do you continue to vote for a programme that (a) consists of income tax cuts that disproportionately benefit the rich (b) exempts their speculative activities from tax almost entirely, while taxing your wages (c) cuts back social services and (d) sells high earning state energy companies to make up the shortfall…? Or do you keep the assets (and reap the dividends and strategic planning benefits involved) and treat the income earned from speculation and capital gain in the same way that you treat the income earned from wages? Who’s the freeloader here, and who is intent on defending the freeloader? Of course it’s going to be a push to appeal to the rational side of a voting population who have an emotional attachment to housing, but if Labour can do anything to take the focus of the election away from a Key vs. Goff question of personality, this is the ticket.

Issue 15 Flatting

Down with the System? Lawyering as Circuit Breaker Conrad Reyners

Last week I became obsessed with domino theory. I read up on it, listened to podcasts and pondered its implications. But it wasn’t the traditional domino theory of the cold-war era I was concerned with; instead I was researching a new way of thinking about how systems work—and what happens when systems fail. There is a new line of thought emerging about why large institutions collapse, and why, when they do, they crash so badly. Just think of the financial disaster caused by Lehman Brothers, or of the environmental destruction wrought in Florida by the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. This new domino idea is based on the premise that human beings have an innate and frustrating desire to complicate things. We like it when things are complex; it shows that they are sophisticated. In many respects, we can’t help but create complicated rules and structures around what we do. Our world is hard to understand, and any systemisation invariably reflects the environment it’s emulating. But complexity is problematic. The more interconnected we become the closer our dominoes get stacked— and the more dangerous it is when they fall. The result of this is what safety engineers call ‘tightly coupled systems’. The more dependent the various parts of our system become, the easier it is for things to fall apart and the harder it is for us to shut it all down when things go horribly wrong. But what does this all have to do with lawyering? At first glance, not a lot. Lawyers are not engineers; they don’t install safety devices in mines; and they aren’t financial wizards creating complex derivative markets. But if we look at the principles behind dealing with complex systems, we can see that it has just as much to teach lawyering as it does engineering. Because although they don’t often create them, lawyers are interfacing with complex systems all the time. Tax law in financial markets is complicated. Evidence law is complicated. Commercial mergers

are complicated. Working with the machinery of government is complicated. All of these things are hard to navigate and are often so interdependent that when one part fails, another will too. Just look at the Government’s inability to regulate financial investors before the 2008 credit crunch. It was a perfect example of a tightly coupled system creating disastrous results. The benefit of lawyering is that it can act as a circuit breaker within a socio-legal system. Lawyers spread risk, and it’s part of their job to figure out how institutional relationships work. In this way, they can be a helpful and effective tool in the private citizen’s toolbox. By providing advice on key milestones in a system (be it a company restructuring or the drafting of a new regulatory framework) lawyers can act as a check on ‘tight coupling’. And that’s a good thing. But this structural approach to lawyering will only work if lawyers themselves take a step back and have a look at the big picture. Most people become lawyers to fight for justice—but it’s often an individualised fight, one institutionally emphasised by the lawyer-client relationship. Accidents will always happen, and in tightly coupled systems, accidents are even more dangerous. But we need to extend this obvious realisation beyond structural engineering. Because by thinking of the profession as one of systems regulator, not solely as one of individual advocate, lawyers may end up positively influencing their world around them in ways they have not yet imagined.

salient.org.nz

Feature

Salient Vol. 74

e e r h t e r d “There we l o r a e y of us 20girls. as 35, moved in.

w o h w , n a m a n e h t And ” . t a h t e k i l I didn’t

You just need about it. to be mature And you need to just be relax ed. And not every organise thing has to be d. And y ou all do have to n’t be best friends. You live togethe r—that’s it—Merc edes

Your stories, your advice. Always, always, always fuck with your flatmates. - Michael

mate a flat tell d a to eh I onc exted us usic t r o u h o m w e turn us to . She cam told us n n e w h e do dt n an d if w dow t up, an would u e to sh , that sh oved ’t m didn all. She days s of u l e l l ki coup ne out a Catheri — r e t la

We had this really crazy guy who did a lot of drugs and drank a lot. We’d come home during the day, and he’d be really drunk, with his music playing, and try to dance with us in the lounge. And, one day, he left. I texted him and said, “Where are you?” and he said, “I’m living in the bush”. And so I said, “What do you want me to do with your things?” And he just said, “Destroy them”—Bella

I once lived with a cou ple of lesb Essentially, ians. we were si tting in th lounge, and e one of th em came o of the ba ut throom an d tipped the contents o f her Mo oncup into Venus Flyt the rap on our coffee ta And it wa ble. sn’t her M ooncup—it her partne w as r’s. She als o used to saucepans t use our o boil the m. — Seamus B rady, VU WSA Pres ident

Sort o u early. A t the cleanin everyb nd make su g schedule always ody sticks t re that o doesn get that on it, because e pers ’t stick you the res o t t of th o it and it ju n who e sche dule u st screws p—Teg an

Non-stick pans aren’t as easily to clean as they clai m . —James

Issue 15 Flatting

Make a point of flatting with random s. Or, at the very least , have people that you can spend time with outside of the flat—Michael

Design and use your own unique flat language—

Photograph every room from different angles so you have a record of what it looked like when you moved in.—Liam

“Smacketh Down”

I wish I’d know n that mealtimes in fla ts would be a rather solit ary experience. I ha d heard stories from m y mother’s flatting days in the seventies, whe n there was a real sense of laid-back camaraderie. Ea ch housemate was assigned a day to cook a m eal—stodgy offerings of sh eep or cow organ, shared among the purple cord uroy- and paisley-clad re sidents as they passed ar ound a joint and listened to Grateful Dead—Astrid

Flat with people who will be good flatmates—not people who are good friends. Just because you get along with someone in a hostel setting doesn’t mean you can put up with their shi-tuff in “real life”. Careless flatting can and does ruin friendship—Kat

ilings are If the ce in black covered or if any mould— hroom) (not bat t s mould a ceiling ha e on to all—mov at one!—K the next

There’s a lot of dodgy people out there

Check out the flats in the winter Because when you see a flat in the summer it will be a lot warmer than it will be in the winter—Tanya

I lived w it who had h people lo pets and ts of there w a shit eve rywhere s . Once I we bathroo nt into the m and t here were th re there— e shits in Saraid

—Charlotte

salient.org.nz

Feature

Salient Vol. 74

First-year Flatting

Flatting Zoe Reid

There is a huge variety of ways to live your first year at uni. Most of us make the decision without really considering the options, or feeling that there aren’t many options. And all options, lets face it, afforded us all equal chances to screw up. I hit the streets and asked around for the best, and worst, ways to spend your first year at uni.

Halls of residence, it seems, are great as they give you a safety net so you can’t stray too far, and there are (albeit minor) consequences for your actions. The concept of ‘party free’ floors was laughed at, as well as the idea of studying with the people who lived with you. Maybe halls aren’t the real world just yet, but all in one year many people are leaving home, learning how to feed, clothe and budget for themselves, study relatively unassisted, and act like an adult, so halls overall seem like a good way to test the water. Complaints ranged from terrible food to not fully meshing with the other people, but all times were a hazy warm memory—so it doesn’t seem like anyone really regretted living there.

Halfway through the year, when things started to get boring, Rory invented this awesome drinking game where we all sat in the dark, not talking, and drinking beer. Once you’d drunk all six beers, you got up and quietly left the room Flatting, especially with people you don’t already know, seems to be a mixed bag. Staying on the same wavelength as one’s flatmates, especially if they aren’t also first year, can be hard during exam time. Also, living with a load of first years that come from relatively privileged backgrounds can be a recipe for disaster.

Issue 15 Flatting

I came home one night to find my flatmate, drunk, peeing in the sink on the dishes. He also peed into the speakers at a party at his own house

The opposite seemed mo re common, however, when both StudyLink and parents left some students out in the cold.

I’m not going to go into details here but suffice to say that takin g abandoned, half-eaten burgers that you from BK and giving them didn’t buy to Blanket Man would be offering him more support than I saw from my a good long while. But St father for udyLink, in their ineffable wisdom, felt that I was unworthy of support. I had at this point lost 11 kg because I was eating only free ice cream twice a day

Also, taking responsibility for bills and bond can be hard—one person compared it to herding cats. In this sense, flatting in first-year and coming out alive seems to be a good achievement, which is likely to lend itself to a better second year.

I moved into a flat with randoms— living in a flat itself was a positive experience (apart from being broke, but that was fun itself in a way). However, I also failed everything at uni and only went to one of my exams... so maybe I’d change the part where I went “FREEDOM! BOOZING!! FUCK STUDY!!!”... but then again, maybe I wouldn’t

The balance between che ering for freedom and accepting an 18-year-old is still a bit immature to be on their own seemed like a hard line for parents to fathom, especially wh en basic life skills were never fully taught . Budgeting seemed to be something that was done until one rea ched their last $5, and the choice between alcohol and food on the weekend was a relativel y common one.

If I had tomato sauce an d rice, I had a meal. Sometimes I’d ev en have cheese. If I was too hungry, I’d go to bed early

Overall, the best thing we all took from first-y ear was that no matter how bad it got, it was such an experienc e that changing it isn’t something we’d want to do. The combin ation of learning about so many things at once in such a socially different year means that everyone fol lows such a steep learni ng curve that the year is inevitably worth it.

The priorities we all set ourselves when pushed out into the big wide world are a bit laughable now. How about the 19-year-old who wanted to live alone, and slept under his jacket in a powerless house to do so? One poor fool choose to buy town shoes instead of furniture, and had not one, but two girls leave his bedroom laughing hysterically at the sleeping bag on the floor.

The first thing I heard about was all the causes my parents had never filled me in on. The worst was the meat industry, and how they treat their animals. So I became a vegetarian, trying to be a vegan, but because I had no idea which foods contained animal products, and which didn’t, I ended up eating kebabs and hot chips for months

I once went to a party an d ended up resting my head on size G boobs while making out with my be st fri watching a bearded man end and in a dress recite Dr Seuss. It caused a lot of repercussions but that night will foreve r be in my brain and I will never want it ou t of there

Inter-hostel rivalry, fin ding that your roomm ate has stolen all of your green tea, and learning what mould is are nothing compared to being bor ed and stable in a clean flat when no-one is home.

Some people never left home at all, and all they needed to do was work out how to lie to StudyLink to ensure they received money to waste. The combination of more free time, clean clothes and hot dinners often meant more free time for depravity. Many who took this option were glad of the ability to actually focus on study, and ease into the adult world, while some felt pushed into the option by parents who may have even moved city to keep them in the family home! salient.org.nz

Feature

Salient Vol. 74

The People You Will Live With

P e o

Uther Dean, Molly MCCarthy & Lewis Van den Berg-Shaw

The Shut-In

You will never see them. You will only know they are alive because their rent still comes through every week and their light is on. They will wear a track into the carpet from the front door to their room from all their secret ninja-like entrances and exits. Their shelf in the pantry will, at best, have a bag of old apples and some Raspberry Make-A-Shake that you bought them as an (awkward) ice breaker. If you manage to catch them and ask them how they are doing, they’ll simply bite their collar, mutter that they’re fine, and scuttle into their room like a frighted cockroach. They’ll be quiet. Too quiet. They will audibly sharpen knives in their room.

The Crazy

They will try to get pregnant by the randoms from the Big K that they bang so that you can’t kick them out. They will wake you up with their crying and insist that you watch 90210 with them or they’ll never sleep again. They’ll count their feijoas and then insist that you stole one when you are allergic—and they know that because they once put some in your pasta as a joke, sending you to hospital. They’ll diagnose themselves with Asperger’s; they’ll say that’s why they can’t talk to girls. They’ll listen to you with your girl- or boyfriend, masturbate, cry, then tell you that they do that. They’ll eat the exact same meal every day, and it will smell like death. You will come back from holiday to find sausage in your private shower.

The RagER

They’ll scream at 11-year-olds for singing Shania Twain. When they discover that they suck at video games they will throw their controller through your television. They will then blame you. For everything. They will talk about how we didn’t land on the moon and how mad it makes them that we’re being lied to. They will think you opened their mail so will steal yours. They will have screaming matches with their worn-down partners at 3am. The fire alarm will go off and they will smash it off the wall with the sword they keep in their room. They will always attend costume parties as Nazi war criminals.

e p The Douche

They will get changed in your room, secretly. They will stink everything up with Lynx and beer. They will cheat on their girlfriends with their girlfriends’ friends and be surprised when they confront him about it in public, calling them unreasonable. They will make people call them ‘Mr President’ during sex. They will try to flush condoms. They will, when questioned about how abhorrent their lifestyle is to all involved, simply shrug and say that is simply how they are made. The only communication they will ever have with you is crudely propositioning you late at night when they come home drunk and half-cocked. They will vomit on your laundry. They will pop collars unironically. They will have “a few friends round for quiet drinks”, noise control will be called three times, and the walls will shake.

pp The Hi ie

They will call themselves Wiccan, when pressed they will not know what Wicca is. They will be vegetarians, when people are looking. They will give you three-hour lectures on recycling, but won’t do the dishes for weeks. They will not wear shoes when they have Athlete’s Foot and are awaiting the appropriate herbs from home in the post to treat it. Their response to any reasonable request for assistance or help will be to get high. They will not use deodorant, they will borrow your clothes. They will think that being a volunteer DJ on student radio is a full-time job. Their pet rats will chew through the walls and power cables.

Issue 15 Flatting

The Cleaner

Everything will smell of bleach. Every unwashed dish will accrue a passive-aggressive note. Your stuff will be thrown out if it is “in the way”. There will be a cleaning roster. It will be more complicated than any of your current course work. You will not follow it. They will call you a “fucking traitor” for this. They will take Sunday morning vacuuming more seriously than any other event ever to occur to humanity. They will do the flat shopping and return with more Spray n’ Wipe than things consumable to humans. They will publicly berate their lovers for not flossing enough before sex.

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And then you get to uni.

Think ‘flatting’, and you think of cheap noodles, long, cold nights and a stash of booze that would make an Irishman cream himself.

Doc Watson

The Precursor to the Flatting Lifestyle

Salient Vol. 74

Welcome To The Jungle:

Feature

To a not-so-humble first-year, the idea of going flatting on your lonesome is fucking scary. Think about it—all that extra responsibility? Yeuch. Luckily, the Hall of Residence is here to act as fancy training wheels. If I have to sum up my personal experience in a hostel environment, I’d liken it to an odd mixture of a flatting complex and the Copacabana. Everyone is flying solo and doing their own thing, but at the same time, they’re part of something much larger. A hostel is a place of like-minded individuals, so if you are like the vast majority of school leavers and have no freaking clue how to enter university life, it is a glorious opportunity. But you’ll know this already—most students either live in a hall at the moment, or look back fondly on their time there. But many aren’t aware of the stark difference between a flat and a hostel. A common misconception is that hostels are a step down from flats; I’ve heard slews of people who can’t wait to get a flat that’s six ways crooked and twice as dilapidated. “Fuck hostels and all their restrictions and shit,” someone who’d previously blathered something about toast physics told me. Unlike Captain Yeasty, I can appreciate the deal with halls. See, I feel that hall residents actually have more freedom than one would expect. If a hall resident and a flat resident both sat down A common misconception and compared their to-do lists of just what they is that hostels are a step need to maintain in their down from flats; I’ve residence, a flatter could heard slews of people wallpaper a house while a who can’t wait to get a flat hall resident would barely have enough to wipe that’s six ways crooked their arse. Electricity, and twice as dilapidated internet, water, gas, food, fluffy dice—need I go on? All these little things don’t just appear out of the ether. Someone gives up all their free time and earns the right to solo living. Halls are a stepping stone to bigger things. It’s the tertiary education equivalent of intermediate—the small bounce before you leap off the diving board into your own life. Sure, you need to just about sell a kidney to get in, but it’s that or leap straight into unsupervised debauchery—it sounds terrific at first, but when you have to raid the supermarket for sample tables just to get a feed, you may just reconsider. The way I look at it, moving away from home should always be a two-step process: get the living away from home sorted, then get practical skills down. Having to deal with both at once would be akin to teaching a chimpanzee show tunes from Les Miserables. Most of us have, need or want a little extra guidance, and for all intents and purposes, that’s what a hall provides. I can personally attest that after a long hard slog working a godawful 6am ’til 2pm uni day, it’s nice to have the extra support and know that you can come and go as you please. Halls are the preparation to getting out there and scrounging, so strap on your Scrumpy hands. Regardless of which hall you call home, be it Helen Lowry or the Shangri-La that is Te Puni, the hall is the perfect prequel to a successful flatting life.

Feature

Issue 15 Flatting

The Quasi-Comprehensive Guide to

Flatmate Romances, Breakups and that bit in between

Laetitia Laubscher

all of residence, In my first-year h uge chart that ah a few girls made dent’s known si re ry e ev d e tt lo p s. kissing conquest reminded of

art and being oking at this ch ar we’d all be a I remember lo ping that next ye ho d an b, I’ve we er id a huge sp nd year rolls by, wever, as my seco Ho ic as . ed tox br or in g s on les str little odisiac quite so hr ap no is ates e tm er fla th realised that sons learnt by the stories and les e ar lk e es wa Th eir . th ity proxim succeeded in ed, regretted and who have attempt down lovers’ lane.

loving thy Situation 1: When ... hardest thing to do

neighbour is the

Situation 2: When you just want to pr ess CTRL + Z…

Chloe met Sam at uSstay. They were attracted to each other, but since th ey had already de cided to be flatmate they set up some s logical boundarie s. However, the restrictions did no thing but spark th at attraction into feelings which tu rned into... well, you know. Logic prevailed, and th ose boundaries we re hammered down again. Once they started living toge ther, those rusted butterflies starte d flapping their wi ngs again, resulti in another regrett ng able night. Again , the boundaries down the next m came orning, which is where they have now stayed. They neve Downgraded from r wanted to be in a relationsh ip together, Cinderella in glass but watching the other ‘get slippers to a girl with’ someone els e still hurt. stuck cooking and Although a late-ni ght cleaning all the tim drunken hookup might seem e lik e a great idea at th e time, re m ember that you wi have to see your ll still flatmate the next day, and the day that, and the day after after that. Some games just aren’t much fun when yo as u’re playing with each other’s hear ts.

Situation 3: When she Tauranga before it actually works ou her hometown of in . d ity vi rs Da ive et t… W m Un ill met Katherine h Sara dy at Victoria stu du to rin on g their stay at Victo gt in ell ed W ck pa ly las nt lia t ye ria va ar d moved down to Ho , where they lived use e, Davi across the hallway ting long distanc gton to each other. They from After a year of da ed down to Wellin ov m we d re an bo e, lif th s e pa hi m rt d ca of the same tight friendship group, up his suitcase an -knit e-drunk, David be and after some alc a while of being lov ming ohol-infused nigh co be lat ns er tio in no live with her. After th tic e ye an ts m ar ro , th s e hi ‘fr ic, ien rg d’ boundary was fo letha ks and The next year they rgotten. comfortable, then geography textboo s hi fla of tte t d igh to ge we in e th a er, and are doing erell The only people co crushed under th well. graded from Cind mplaining are th ller. Sarah, down eir friends who do all the time, g se in e as an m PlayStation contro cle uc d h an of n’t g th in em ok co as ck th ey stu l wa gir nt to. , but their entire up glass slippers to a em th lit sp ly If Kate Middleton kup not on and Prince William ended it. The brea a nasty divorce. can make it work then plebs like us ates likened it to tm fla eir th , of can, too. There ar e flat. On e us ca be e ca ply ses where flatting wi sim th s yo ate ur tm sw fla ee ur th yo ea ck rt pi at un iversity is a succes do not— jectively has to remem s. One only Do not—I repeat, nd. If you don’t ob ber to be honest an lfriend or boyfrie es d give your other gir ss ur gla yo ed e lot nt ar of -ti ey sp se th ac ro half a e— ely be lov ca e us os e th you’ll be seeing a taking off e lot of them. (yes, that means ure out if he or sh fig d an on rs pe at k at th ll find Names have for a minute) loo d foremost, you wi been changed. od flatmate first an habitaco l fu ce ea “p would make a go y sa n ca u yo re fo over be ionyour relationship of strain on relat ther can put a lot ge to you in g at in th ov in M . rta tion” e very ce pt it unless you ar ships—don’t attem can handle it.

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Salient Vol. 74

Feature

You Can’t Beat The Suburbs of Wellington On A Good Day

Khandallah

(You don’t need to; they’ve already had the shit beaten out of them by nature and humanity)

e to d i u ’s g e p o nthr s ‘burbs a s i A m ngton’ i Karori Well

Thorndon

Northland

Kelburn CBD Mt Vic

Te Aro Cold. Damp. Full of hippies. Who would have thought a house could get no sun? At all. In summer. Aro Park is a punk hang-out; the perfect place for fried food and nurturing a substance dependency.

Khandallah Rich fuckers festering in a Tim Burton suburban hell. The trains never run on time. Once I asked out a girl at the video store and she fake-numbered me. The bitch.

Te Aro

Brooklyn

Newtown

Haitaitai

Brooklyn Full of dog-hating sweaty young families who look at you (and your dog) like you’re trying to steal their babies. Closest ‘burb to the dump shop, which, honestly, is probably where you should be, you bohemian asshole.

Michael Collins, Charles Panic & Robert Mitchell

Lyall Bay

Island Bay

Issue 15 Flatting

Newtown

Lyall Bay

Home to the refuse of society and art wankers. Slowly being gentrified, thank god. People treat this whole suburb as an extension of their living room, wearing fluffy slippers and bathrobes to get a greasy hangover feed on a Sunday morning, like the human fucking ferals they are. Has gotten safer lately with just three murders a year. Likely to encounter hipsters and human skidmarks.

Home to the resilient Maranui café, which has caught fire twice but totally refuses to take the hint.

Mt Vic Up-and-coming professional wankers. This is where your landlord lives. Soon to be violated by a fucking great big flyover. At least it’s close to town; unfortunately, it’s also close to the gnat-brained boy racers on Kent Terrace.

Kilbirnie Kind of like Hamilton. If you don’t like Wellington, you’ll probably love it. Enjoy the noise from the airport—hope it doesn’t deafen you before Pantera or whatever terrible music you like does it first.

Karori Cold and far away, why are you even considering this? Local drivers refer to cyclists as human lice. Biggest suburb in the southern hemisphere, can’t see why. An emotionally desolate desert, fit only for the alone and infirm. Like you.

Kelburn “Only two minutes from uni, bro!” Still not worth it. It’s a choice between the tasteless grey bakeries, or throwing yourself off the cable car. You should choose the third option: gargling fucking acid until the poison that is existence no longer troubles you.

Island Bay Look forward to your neighbours complaining about any noise above a whisper. Was home to cool people, then they died. Now it’s just middle-class people and freaks who like to pretend through holey sheets that they’re middleclass.

Miramar Does anyone live here? Rumours tell of a porn palace with plush carpet, a room full of mirrors and an indoor pool. If the entire suburb were to sink, no-one would miss it. Not even the people who drown in it.

Hataitai Enjoy getting cancer from the tunnel, and stumbling upon 16-year-olds getting fish-fingered in the 24-hour laundromat.

Northland Oh, really? Why not just move to the fucking moon?

Miramar

CBD Ideal for socalites, low- to mid-level drug dealers and those who can only orgasm when elderly women put cigars out on their clits or balls.

Thorndon Home to the most expensive New World in New Zealand, Katherine Mansfield’s birthplace, and a terrible swimming pool in which I hope you drown.

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Feature

Salient Vol. 74

YOUTHLAW

S E C I V R E S L A

TINO RANGATIRATANGA TAITAMARIKI

0800 UTHLAW | youthlaw.co.nz | info@youthlaw.co.nz

EG L EE FR FOR UNDER YouthLaw is a free national legal 2 service for under 25s. Contact us for free on 0800 UTHLAW (884 529) or info@youthlaw.co.nz for help with almost any legal problem. Each fortnight we answer your questions on a particular area of law. This issue: FLATTING.

I’m moving in with some mates. Do we all need to sign the lease? No, but if not, not everyone will be a tenant. Only tenants who have signed a tenancy agreement are in a tenancy with a landlord, and only tenants have shared responsiblity for paying the bond, rent and bills, any damage, and complying with the tenancy agreement. They can also be individually liable for the entire tenancy. If there are both tenants and flatmates living in the same place it’s a good idea to have a separate flat sharing agreement in case someone does a runner.

So if my flatmate moves out or causes damage I have to pay for them? If you’re a tenant, most probably. If there are other tenants, you all may have to. If everyone moves out leaving you as the sole tenant you could be liable for the total rent and/or damage. Hence the importance of a flat sharing agreement! But my flatmate is/has become an irresponsible, reckless, carefree, inconsiderate slob. What can I do? If you have a flat sharing agreement, and your flatmate has signed, you’ll all have to follow the terms of your agreement unless you all agree to end it. If your flatmate has broken the agreement you could take them to the Disputes Tribunal if you’re out of pocket. If there’s no flat sharing agreement, the tenant can decide if the flatmate stays or goes. If the slob is a tenant, and you’re the flatmate, your options are put up with it or move out. If there’s a freak tornado/earthquake/volcanic eruption/ terrorist event/alien invasion, my landlord will deal with that, right? Yes, if you’re talking about damage to the building and the liveability of the accommodation. The landlord’s insurance may cover this. Their insurance most probably will not cover your personal possessions though—your own contents insurance is a good idea. Your landlord is not liable for replacing your stuff if you get robbed. I’m moving into a place, but the letting agent wants a letting fee, 4 weeks bond, and 2 weeks rent in advance. This costs more than my car did. Are they allowed to charge all this? Yes, but four weeks’ bond and two weeks’ rent in advance is the maximum. The letting agent can charge their own fee. The advance rent must be used before you need to pay rent again. Bonds are paid to the landlord, but the landlord must lodge this money with the Department of Building and Housing within 23 working days. The DBH will send you and the landlord a receipt and will hold the bond until the end of the tenancy.

Issue 15 Flatting

I moved in without really looking properly at the apartment. Now I notice that the place is falling apart. I’m worried I’m going to get pinged for the damage. You should inspect the property inside and outside before you sign a tenancy agreement. Go through the place with the landlord and write down the condition of things like the carpet, the stove or the walls. There’s a property inspection report available from the Department of Building and Housing. Both landlord and tenant should sign, date and keep a copy of this form. Having the form when the tenancy ends means that the tenant cannot be blamed for any pre-existing damage. If you discover something that you weren’t aware of when you moved in, let the landlord know as soon as you find out. Preferably do this in writing, like in an email. My landlord won’t fix the mould problem/dripping tap/ dodgy dishwasher. A landlord has certain obligations. If it’s a big enough deal, you think the landlord has breached their obligations, and you (the tenant) can’t resolve the matter with the landlord, you could take it to the Tenancy Tribunal. Get some legal advice. If the problem is likely to hurt people or damage anything, and you’ve tried but can’t reach the landlord, you (if you’re a tenant) can get the problem fixed yourself and ask for the landlord to reimburse you.

Can the landlord kick us out just for complaining? If you’re tenants, no. This could be something called retaliatory notice, which is illegal. The tenant can apply to the Tenancy Tribunal in this situation and ask them to decide on the legality of the notice. Landlord/tenant/flatmate won’t pay up/do what they’re supposed to do. How much is the Tenancy Tribunal? Do I have to pay for a lawyer? The Tenancy Tribunal is for landlord/tenant disputes. If your dispute is with a flatmate you’re looking at the Disputes Tribunal. Lawyers are not usually present in either Tribunal. There is a fee of $20.44 for the Tenancy Tribunal and $36.30 (for disputes of under $1000) for the Disputes Tribunal (correct in July 2011). It’s a good idea to get legal advice first.

SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS

If you have a legal question, email it to ben@youthlaw. co.nz. We may not print each question but we will always reply. Printed questions will be vaguely related to issue themes as far as possible. Next issue theme: arts (any legal questions which you can at least vaguely or interestingly link to arts will be considered...)

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Salient Vol. 74

Faces to Deface

Feature

Issue 15 Flatting

Find a Flat Fast (and with minim

um awkwardn

ess)

Selina Powell

New Zealand is home to many ingenious ideas. The pavlova, jetboat and electric fence are all the products of Kiwi ingenuity. New Zealanders pioneered the use of a whistle while refereeing and the sport of Zorbing (where individuals appear to re-enact nightmares of being trapped in the transparent plaything of a giant toddler). A relatively recent Kiwi invention is ‘speed-renting’, developed by Queenstown resident Liz McLean. McLean became a flat hunter unexpectedly in 2006 when her house burnt down. Speed-renting was created in response to the flaws McLean perceived in the existing flat hunting system. McLean established a website, and speed-renting events subsequently gained popularity in both Auckland and Wellington. Since the idea’s inception, speed-renting initiatives have taken off in Australia, Canada and Britain. The Telegraph reported at the beginning of last month that over 17,000 people expected to attend speed-renting events in 2011 run by Spare Room UK. As its name implies, speed-renting is similar to the concept of speed dating. The initiative provides an opportunity to find flatmates over a beverage in a relaxed environment, rather than the norm of awkwardly showing a stranger around the flat as you assess their suitability. In contrast to speed dating, there is no time limit on how long participants can talk to each other. There is also no obligation for every person with a flat to talk with every flat seeker. As London event organiser Ben Craft told The Telegraph “if you don’t like their jacket, you don’t have to live with them”. Speed-renting possesses two key attributes of a successful invention—it was a good idea and it came at the right time. The global financial crisis created a high demand for rental properties with fewer young people in a position to invest in their first home. Speed-renting responded to this demand by providing a meeting point for the hordes of flat-hunters to make contact with property owners and other lessees. The initiative also came at a time of increasing awareness about the environmental impact of housing choices. Earthsharing Australia, an ‘economic justice’ project, has used the idea of speed-renting in Melbourne to address a situation where land is underutilised despite a high demand for housing.

Speed-renting helps people to share land and property which in turn lessens their environmental footprint. While all forms of flatting have this positive environmental impact, speed renting caters for a wider range of people than traditional flat-hunting methods. Speed-renters can meet and assess potential candidates before giving out personal information. Because speed-renting provides a higher degree of control over the renting process, it opens flatting up to groups who would otherwise be excluded because of security concerns, specific requirements, or hesitancy at entering the rental market after a long break (for example, individuals left with a spare room once their children move out). Although the number of speed-renting events in Wellington has dwindled, both Southern Cross and Mighty Mighty have facilitated speed-renting events in the past. Speed-renting is based on a simple idea—that selecting who you live with is of a similar level of importance to choosing who you date. The international success of McLean’s initiative just goes to show that this conviction seems to resonate with communities across the globe.

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Salient Vol. 74

will be

Moooore Hoooo oooops!

Dave the Beer guy

“Needs More Hops” is a commonly heard phrase around beer bars.

And every year the Malthouse holds a celebration of this phrase—the Annual West Coast IPA Challenge. Traditionally, this challenge has involved two beers—Epic Armageddon and Hallertau Humulus Lupulus Maximus. But this year, neither beer was present. Instead, the competition was opened up to all breweries to make their own interpretation of a West Coast IPA and the entries were judged by a panel of beer aficionados to quell any arguments about which took top honours. By far the largest challenge yet, this year eight beers competed for hoppy glory. I showed up bright and early to find my own champion by sampling everything on offer. I rated the beers on two scales—the ‘how much I like it’ scale and the ‘how close I think it is to style (West Coast IPA)’ scale. Epic Hop Zombie IIPA(8.5%)—Batch two of this fruity imperial IPA has just a touch more bitterness, making it far more IPA-ish than the first. Like: 8.5/10 Style: 8.75/10 Hallertau Stuntman IIPA (9%) was possibly the first imperial IPA made with solely New Zealand grown hops, and this latest batch shows those off excessively. When used in huge quantities, New Zealand hops give a ‘funk’ which I can only compare to armpit sweat—but fruity. The beer hides its alcohol well with a huge sweet body, while the funky hops balance it nicely. Like: 7/10 Style: 8/10 8 Wired make possibly the most successful IPA in the country, but surprisingly they’ve never gone imperial with one—until now. Launched on the night was 8 Wired Superconductor IIPA (8.8%), with 80 per cent more hops than Hopwired. Superconductor shows off big, grassy, passionfruit hop aromas and flavours, with a hint of good ol’ funk. Like: 8/10 Style: 8/10 Local pants and shoes enthusiasts Yeastie Boys were there this year with the Warriors. Not the league team, but two massively hopped IPAs, each showing off hops from a specific region. Yakima Warrior (7%) is hopped using only varieties grown in Yakima, Washington. In true west coast IPA style the big tropical hops are pulled back into a black hole of bitterness. Like: 6.5/10 Style: 8.5/10 Motueka Warrior (7%) showcases hops grown in Motueka, near Nelson. To me this Warrior tasted very similar to an American IPA made by Green Flash named ‘West Coast IPA’—dry and bitter as hell. A true palate wrecker. Like: 6/10 Style: 9/10 Moa went a completely different route with McMoa (aka Jean Claude Hop Damn) (10.4%), an esoteric IIPA made with a Belgian Yeast. This was actually the judges’ pick and it won the WCIPA challenge trophy: The Golden Gumboots. But I wonder how a Belgian IPA wins a West Coast IPA competition? Yeast is prominent in the aromas and flavours here, with banana dominating and big hops on the finish. Like: 8/10 Style: 1/10 My winner on the night was also the most insane, a collaboration between Epic, Hallertau and Liberty—The Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse IIPA (10%). This beer injects hops into your olfactory—there is a massive, overripe fruit bowl going on here. Somehow, this ridiculous beer manages to remain balanced and drinkable. It shouldn’t work but it goddamn does. Like: 9/10 Style: 7/10

Some of these beers will still be flowing at The Malthouse, and will be popping up at other good beer bars around Wellington in the coming weeks and months. Get some.

If you have any questions about this week’s beers or any comments, please contact me at davethebeerguy@gmail.com or Tweet at me @ davethebeerguy

Lasagne Love Hayley Adams

This recipe is not one for the faint-hearted. It involves a fair amount of preparation and piecing together but trust me, the fruits of your labour will be well worth it. This vegetable lasagne is a fairly figure-friendly comfort food, for vegetarians and meat-eaters alike. • 600g capsicum (about 3 medium ones—green are best value for money at the moment) • 600g of thinly-sliced eggplant, cover with about 2 tablespoons salt • 250g of mushroom, thinly sliced • 600g of kumara, thinly sliced • 700g pasta sauce (store-bought or make your own from canned tomato, mixed herbs and garlic) • 1 box of instant lasagne sheets (or, if you really like, use fresh ones) • 150g of feta/ricotta • 1 tablespoon of parmesan (or whatever cheese you fancy) • 40g butter or margarine • ¼ cup flour • 1 ½ cups milk • 2 more tablespoons of parmesan Preheat your oven to 240 degrees Celsius (this is pretty darn hot). Quarter your capsicums, remove seeds and lay them skin side up on a baking paper covered tray and pop in the oven. The skin will blacken and come away from the capsicum, remove from oven, let cool and then remove the skins. Reduce oven to 200 degrees Celsius. Rinse salt off eggplant, pat dry and lay eggplant and kumara flat on a baking paper covered tray. Roast for 20 minutes or until tender. Sautee mushrooms in a pan until softened. Make a white sauce by melting the butter/margarine in a pan, stir in the flour for a minute or two, and then gradually add the milk. Keep stirring until it thickens. Remove from heat and stir in cheese. You are going to want one big baking dish, or two smaller ones. Spread about a cup of pasta sauce in the bottom of the dish and layer your ingredients. I like to go half of each eggplant, capsicum, mushroom, kumara, lasagne sheet, feta, more pasta sauce and then do it all again. Finish with a layer of lasagne sheet, white sauce and cheese on top! Bake for about an hour, or until bubbling and browned. It is easy to swap vegetables for something different, some spinach, zucchini or pumpkin would go nicely, or a sprinkle of pumpkin seeds on top.

“Love is not a victory march;

it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah” Kent Smith Literature, songs and counselling rooms are littered with the satisfied and dissatisfied murmurings of the stories of intimate relationships from those amongst us with a story to tell. And, in the end, we all have a story to tell! Shakespeare wrote about love being difficult in that “the course of true love never did run smooth” and as being full of desire, suggesting to us to “speak low if you speak love”. Leonard Cohen, always the narrative lover, sang that love is an ever-nebulous thing that just occurs: “... I didn’t fall in love of course, it’s never up to you, but she was walking back and forth, and I was passing through”. That isn’t always so; when Cohen was ruminating upon his “…reputation as a ladies’ man, [that] was a joke that caused [him] to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights [he] spent alone”. What seems to be clear about love is that satisfying intimate relationships are felt by many to be important in engaging us in a meaningful way to our social world, maybe even contributing to happiness. Without this engagement we can feel, isolated, lonely, longing and jealousy. It appears most of us want some form of relationship and over the years it has become noticeable to me that satisfying relationships can be done in many ways. But how to find love nirvana seems to be a very consistent question when we don’t have it—and how do we make it stay when we do? In his book “Love & Awakening” (1996), John Welwood suggests that we need to start with connecting more deeply with ourselves so that we can connect with our partner(s). To achieve this task, he suggests we start out by addressing the question that inevitably arises in every relationship: “What am I doing here [in this relationship]? Is this really worth the struggle?” To me, it seems that Welwood is suggesting that relationships are hard work! But none of us want our relationships to be hard work, do we? And if we do, what is the work to do? These musings can be responded to in many ways, with two of the most prominent responses being: “don’t worry about it, I don’t need love anyway”, which seems to be a lot about don’t and so usually doesn’t feel right (as, inevitably, we keep worrying about it). Another response might be “what could I try…?” which feels nice and supportive and, if we find a ‘way of doing’ that feels right, it genuinely helps.

So, what to try?

Columns

Issue 15 Flatting

The Portia Spider David Burr Imagine you’re a spider, just chillin’ in your web, when hotdamn! A delicious victim becomes ensnared in your sticky trap. As you tip-toe your way closer, things begin to go terribly awry; your meal suddenly scurries off and, before you know it, another spider is stabbing its fangs right into your ass. If spiders could understand complex English concepts, you’d probably understand the irony here. But what does that matter now—you’re dead. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though. Your killer, and this week’s AOTW, is basically the ninja of the arachnid world—the Portia Spider. Portia Spiders show greater intelligence than could be thought possible for such a small animal. They use deception and mimicry to hunt their favourite food: other spiders. The Portia plucks individual strands of another spider’s web, impersonating the vibrations of an injured insect. When their victim is lured closer, the Portia launches its attack. Sometimes they will manoeuvre behind their victim; sometimes they prefer to attack head-on, using their extreme jumping ability. The Portia can even drop down on top of its victim. Eat your heart out, Splinter Cell. Not only do Portia Spiders like to push the boundaries when it comes to hunting, they’re also very innovative in the bedroom. These spiders mate entirely in midair, suspended by a single thread. And then the female eats the male. The Portia Spider really takes “challenge accepted” to the next level.

Animal Fa ct For the 2011 Spring/ Summer Se ason, Starfis h are debutin g several daring new shapes including th e rhombus and the sphe re

• Make a decision to work out how ‘you’ will do relationships: what are your needs? • Build a capacity to trust by investing something of yourself in all your relationships (even with your parents and lecturers!) • Meet with people, any people, and be interested by paying attention to them • Communicate congruently (i.e. be real) • Touch base with counselling to develop your capacity to relate

Like Anim al of the Wee ko Faceboo n k!

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Columns

Salient Vol. 74

Science = Money Ben Wylie-van Eerd

I would like to share with you all today the message of one of Victoria University’s leading scientists, and New Zealander of the Year, Professor Sir Paul Callaghan. You may have already encountered this message in his 2009 book Wool to Weta or in any one of numerous speeches, but if you haven’t, then you need to. For the last few decades, New Zealand has been becoming a poorer country. In 1970, New Zealand was among the more prosperous countries in the world. We were then wealthier per capita than our neighbours across the Tasman! But since that time, our wealth has tracked slowly but steadily downward and we are now 35 per cent poorer per capita than Australia. And it is not for lack of trying—New Zealanders work more hours than all but one country in the OECD, and yet our output for hours worked is among the lowest. Why is this? Sir Paul’s answer is that we have chosen to be poor. Let me explain that statement—we have chosen to work (as a country) in industries that offer low returns. Tourism is a big industry in New Zealand. Approximately 16 per cent of our exports are in tourism, which covers about 10 per cent of all New Zealand jobs. Every job in tourism generates about $80,000 in revenue per year. And while that may sound like a lot, consider that in order to live as we do right now, every job has to contribute an average of $130,000. If we wanted to catch up

with Australia’s lifestyle, then every job would have to contribute $175,000. In the USA, that figure is $225,000. No matter how much effort and manpower we put into our tourism industry, it will never make us more wealthy[1]. Our agriculture industry fares a little better, mostly sitting at about the $130,000 mark. Fonterra does very well, at $350,000 a job. However, there are limits on how much this industry can expand, and we are already running up against them— our waterways are becoming polluted, our arable land is being used up. Sir Paul argues that what we must do if we want to increase our wealth, and our standards of living, is to create new technological companies. Such companies already exist in New Zealand—the top ten of them together contribute almost $4 billion to New Zealand every year. This revenue is sustainable from year to year, does not require significant land use or produce pollution; it has a very low energy requirement and a small carbon footprint; and it does not require a large number of people to produce. One hundred such companies would, by themselves, lift New Zealand’s GDP to Australia’s level. It’s not an impossible task—companies such as Fisher & Paykel are already succeeding as high value exporters. We need as a country to look up to the scientists and entrepreneurs who made these companies, and replicate their successes. I could not explain this as fluently as Sir Paul Callaghan, but I am passionate about sharing his message, and building a brighter future for New Zealand. I highly recommend reading his book, or listening to him speak.

Further viewing: Sir Paul speaking, youtube.com/watch?v=OhCAyIllnXY [1] This is not exactly true… One could convince each visitor to spend twice as much money when they visit New Zealand. But that would be a very difficult task.

Where are all the fans? Joe Gallagher

Somewhat masked by the hyped release of Rugby World Cup tickets, it seems almost every other competition in Kiwi (and world, for that matter) sport is struggling to attract attention. While here we are building for the biggest event we will probably ever host, we might be pulling attention away from the niggling problem that sports spectatorship is changing, and not necessarily for the better. The big indicator of this, for me, was the Blues’ semi-final against the Waratahs. Sudden death rugby for a revived province, the hype on rugby during World Cup year, some of the best players in the country on show— still no fans. It’s almost excusable to play in front of empty stands during the regular season, but I can’t help but think that not too long ago, this would have been a sell-out. So what’s changed so much? The quality’s certainly not any worse, and the weather’s hardly changed. Everywhere else, the fans are at least finding something to turn up

Issue 15 Flatting

to. Australia jumped on board the Queensland Reds, and will now focus on AFL. The Poms are clinging to cricket while they don’t have any football, and America—even without the NBA, NFL or NHL—has the MLB to keep them busy. But here, we just seem disinterested. So what is it about us that have us so bored? The answer is the everyday Kiwi sports fan is a lazy bastard. He (or she) would rather sit on the couch and be bombarded by ‘expert’ analysis, slow-motion cheerleading replays and the odd bit of choice advertising. Broadcasting is now tailored to suit the needs of the couch potato. In many ways, a crowd isn’t even necessary. Gone are the days when there was something special to take from actually being there. Every now and again, New Zealand sport throws something at us that is actually worth getting out of the house and attending. The Rugby World Cup will be one of them. The All Whites’ playoff against Bahrain was another. So was the charity cricket match at the Basin in February. The Sevens. And yes, there will be others. But we can’t rely on these one-offs when our national sport won’t even sell out for a semi-final—even against the Aussies! All the while, we’re bumping up the capacity of our stadiums. What are we planning on doing with the new and ‘improved’ Eden Park after the World Cup? We can kid ourselves into thinking a 50,000 seater isn’t a waste of time and money. We can believe it’ll be filled once a year. But in truth, we’re upgrading it for a certain game on October 23. I doubt very many people have thought too much further ahead than that day. So while the World Cup is going to be great for us all, come the Monday after the final (or whenever the hangover has worn off ), somebody is going to have to approach the pressing problem of filling our grandstands. And it won’t be the sports themselves— they’re more than happy to sell the game to the bloke on the couch. Instead, it’s up to us. So come on guys. Out of the house, and bums on seats.

Gay Icons Cruz Johnson

Who do you admire? W ho do you respect? Who should be remem bered for the mark ze has left on the world?

If someone asked me those questions, I’d pro bably need a week to ans I still would have left wer, and out half the people wo rth mentioning. I was about people I consider asked to write “gay icons”—people wh o’ve done a lot for the movement. I could wr gay rights ite an entire issue of Sal ient on this topic, but I words. Do you agree wit only had 500 h the people I’ve chosen ? Is there someone you I missed out? Who are can’t believe your own personal “ga y icons”?

Harvey Milk (1930—1978)

The first openly-gay ma n elected to United States public office (City Superv San Francisco, 1977). Infl isor, uenced by the hippie mo vement of the 1960s, he his life to gay pride and gay devoted activism in the early ’70 s. A fellow city superviso Milk dead in 1978, stoppi r shot ng Milk’s wave of revolu tionary reform in its tra I hope that I, too, can one cks. day achieve as much as Harvey Milk.

Harvey Fierstein (1952—)

An American playwrig ht/actor, Fierstein was openly gay when practic one else was. For this ally no honesty alone, we sho uld worship him. Howe has frequently gone fur ver, he ther, presenting rainb ow issues in his plays. forever etched queer rig This has hts onto the worldwide agenda. Because of him GLBTQI person can say , every , “We’re here; we’re que er: get used to it!”

Cher (1946—):

Cher’s son, Chaz (born Cher’s daughter Chast ity) Bono, came out as in 1995. Chastity’s revela a lesbian tions initially shocked the singer/actress, until realised GLBTQI didn’t Cher have the same privilege s as straight people. Sin she has been an ardent ce then, supporter of rainbow rig hts, and has supported through his female-to-m Chaz ale gender transition. Wh o doesn’t want a parent Cher—a real-life Hazel like /Debbie from Queer as Folk!

Ellen DeGeneres (1958—)

and Sir Elton Jo

hn (1947—): American comedienne DeGeneres and British sin ger John are the queer face the new millennium. Eac of h married a member of hir own sex and settled to a quiet life at home. down Sir Elton even adopte d a child! DeGeneres and showed the world that John what the rainbow com munity has said all alo everyone is capable of ng is true: loving, and should hav e the chance to love som else. In the words of ’80 ebody s band Foreigner, we all want to know what lov e is. Each and every person who has fought to ma ke a better world for GL the drag queens who fou BTQI, from ght during the 1969 Sto newall riots to the leader lington’s recent Queer s of Welthe Night march, deserv es our acknowledgement appreciation. Without , awe, and hir efforts, the queer com munity everywhere wo silently closeted, afraid uld still be to stand up and be counte d. So I say “Thank you” Harvey, Cher, Ellen, and to Harvey, Sir Elton; “Thank you” to everyone who has eve part, no matter how sm r played a all, in the rainbow movem ent. Thank you.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

with Auntie Sharon Dear Shaz, I live in a really great flat—cheap, big, plenty of sunshine and with two flatmates I love. Trouble is that the ‘other’ flatmate is a total dick. He quit uni a couple of months ago, and now he just sits around smoking weed and sulking, leaving a trail of filth and takeaways in his wake. We want him to move out, but are not sure how to tell him. How can we get him to leave without it turning nasty? Any suggestions appreciated. Thanks, Angie.

Dear Angie and Co. Flatting is about compromise and tolerance. It’s also deeply personal when you reject someone from the fold, so think carefully about whether you’ve done everything you can to compromise the living space with him. He’s obviously going through some shit—has one of you sat down with him and asked him what’s going on? Burst his self-absorbed bubble and helped him realise his slump is affecting others? That’s he’s now desperately unattractive to women and needs to get his shit together? Despite your loathing, do your best to remember he’s a person, and might be hurting and appreciate a wake-up call. A little gently-delivered constructive feedback never broke a man. If that doesn’t work, and you feel it’s only six months on his Mum’s couch that’s going to sort him out, it’s time for the Talk. While daunting, the Talk is infinitely preferable to other, more cowardly tactics. Like sending the unwanted flatmate an email asking him to leave and then hiding in your room for two weeks, or all the remaining flatmates announcing at once that they’re moving somewhere else—together.

Tips on the Talk: 1. Emotionally prepare him for it. Let him know a day or two beforehand that you wanna have a chat about some stuff, and make a time to meet. 2. Don’t gang up on him—nominate one person to deliver the news. 3. When you have the sit-down, despite how icked out by him you are, do it with compassion. 4. Be straight up—don’t tell a long, meandering story about how life is a journey etc., and don’t bullshit him with confused messages about how you think he’s a great guy but you just don’t wanna live with him. 5. Do your best to avoid talking about the specific things that are irritating you about living with him. Keep it as general as possible: “You’re not the right fit for us”, “It’s not working out”, “We think you might be better suited to a flat with more creative types”. 6. If he gets mad, let him. Fair enough, it can be hurtful. Try not to get mad back and say stuff that will make you feel like a mean person.

Good luck, and remember, be nice!

Need help with a sticky situation? Auntie Sharon may be able to help: auntiesharon@salient.org.nz

Three Easy Ways to be a Better Feminist—

And I Don’t Mean That You Have To Struggle Through The Beauty Myth Ally Garrett

First things first: I know that declaring yourself a ‘feminist’ can be scary. But as Ellen Page said: “It can’t be any more obvious that we live in a patriarchal society if ‘feminist’ is a bad word”. In my opinion, if you believe in equality between all genders, you’re a feminist. That’s it. And if you don’t believe in that kind of equality you can get right out of here. Seriously. Bye. Go have a tea party with Alasdair Thompson or something. My view of feminism is simplistic but I also acknowledge that old school feminists have a pretty bad rap for excluding a lot of people—especially trans people and women of colour. But there couldn’t be a better time to change that. Feminism is about equality, for everyone. It’s a force for good. The list below is for when you want to be a force for good, but you’re tired and you have an essay due. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you have to go to a protest every day. Activism can be about the little things. Caring about the trivial doesn’t stop you from acting on the big stuff.

Columns

Issue 15 Flatting

When you’re fingering yourself you’re giving a middle finger to the fucked up ideas that our culture has about bodies and sexuality 1. Take the Time to Discover Your Favourite Comedienne. As a feminist you might encounter assholes who claim they don’t find female comedians that funny. You need to be prepared for this—ideally with a sassy comeback such as “Oh! I didn’t realise that Dai Henwood was a woman”, which you will then need to back up. Tell the asshole about your favourite comedienne. In preparation for this spend a night on YouTube and if you don’t like Tina Fey—keep looking. I recommend Josie Long, Maeve Higgins and Rebel Wilson but perhaps you might be more into Sarah Silverman, Margaret Cho or Wanda Sykes.

2. Stop Criticising The Way Other People Look. No more “her top is so tight I can see her stretch marks” and no more “she needs to eat a sandwich” and no more “he was so ugly that everyone died”. Other people have no moral or societal obligation to meet your arbitrary beauty standards. Cut the body snark and you’re fighting back against a society that values people for the way that they look and you’re making the world—and your brain—a kinder place. Cut the toxic thoughts, wear sequins, and tell yourself you look fabulous.

3. Masturbate. Seriously. Get thee to D.Vice or do it like Britney ‘Touch of My Hand’ Spears. Whatever you do, do it for you. Trust in the radical possibilities of pleasure but keep one hand free—when you’re fingering yourself you’re giving a middle finger to the fucked up ideas that our culture has about bodies and sexuality—the Madonna/whore idea, the idea what we need other people to make us happy, and the idea that our genitalia is somehow more ‘naughty’ than the rest of our anatomy. When the world is telling you to hate yourself, sometimes the most radical thing you can do is indulge in a little self love.

CONSTANCE CRAVINGS

? estion sex qu a t o G to ask Want usly and mo to anony alient? Go r S fo in m see it stance.co 15 n d o e c n k r s a a ard-e ss, your h s of facele e . t e u m in m less fa pants

This week, Constance Cravings responds to a series of short sharp ones for your swiftly-answerable needs. Hey CC My girl doesn’t find giving me head enjoyable, so is there anyway to make it more appealing? Because talking to her doesn’t make her any more keen. Crazy4head

If she’s not keen, she’s not keen. And that’s okay. If you haven’t already, you could suggest some food play to make your man-meat more like a fun, chocolatecovered treat. Otherwise, if trying to talk about it isn’t working, you’re just going to have to drop it or move on, buddy. Hello, My lovely boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and we have a great sex life. We both enjoy trying new exciting (sometimes very kinky) things and lately I have been curious about doing it up the bum. I like when he slips out or touches my bum and I think I’d enjoy it. We have mentioned it before but I think we both have been apprehensive because we really have no idea how much poop is really involved. He isn’t too stoked with the idea of a shitty dick and I don’t particularly want to poop all over him. How do we prepare, both physically and mentally, for this? Please advise! Shank Queen

Firstly, you have to make peace with the fact that poop does indeed come out of there. Short of getting a colonic and porn-star anal bleaching before you venture into butt-fun, you’re probably always going to be reminded of its primary function—so say goodbye to your squeamishness now. Secondly, try some non-penile objects first: toys, fingers, etc. Maybe cover your finger with a condom or wear a latex glove (for that extra medical fetish effect) just to get yourselves used to chilling out with your bum. Use a good lubricant and work up to larger objects very slowly. All in all, the potential for pleasure will hopefully overrule any lingering fear of poop, but also be open to the fact that not everyone loves bum-action, and you can dabble but not be sold. That’s OK too. Dear Constance, I have been sleeping with this girl for a little while now, and we keep having the same problem. After I finish in her, the spunk just comes right back out all over my sheets when I pull out. We have tried all kinds of dismounts, and positions, and we always end up with giant patches of man juice everywhere. Is this a problem that everyone faces and never talks about? How do we stop this? The sex is so primal but the dismount is so awkward. This is not fair. Google has no solutions, nor does Askmen.com. There is nowhere left for us to turn. Signed, The Splodger

What the? I don’t even... Laws of physics, anyone? What goes up must come down, bro. Your girlfriend is not a permanent splodge receptacle, nor is her vagina a sponge. Wear a condom if you don’t want to make a mess. Also, Askmen.com is a misogynistic, boring, heteronormative, boring excuse for an incredibly sexist (and did I mention boring) website. Cut that shit out.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Music

Ticket Prices Angharad O’Flynn

Hmm—to eat, or to buy tickets to Roger Waters’ legendary show The Wall? That is the question... Pfft, eating is overrated. It’s AT this this time of year that world tours are announced in droves, and this week, we’re looking at how much is too much to pay for a concert ticket when you’ve got rent, food and expensive textbooks to fork out for. Concert ticket prices are higher than ever. For big shows that rarely play south of Auckland, the total cost of getting to one of these shows is beyond many students’ budgets. Tickets to Roger Waters’ The Wall cost between $99 and $399; last week, Foo Fighters and Tenacious D tickets went on sale with the tickets starting at $108. With the rising cost of living, it’s not cheap to live in New Zealand at the moment. It’s hard to find work in Wellington when jobseekers check their emails to see “We regret to inform you...” staring them in the face for the umpteenth time that month. It’s quite disheartening, and thus, the “can I have it for my birthday/ Christmas/insert-special-occasion-here” card is being played a lot now. Of course, there’s always the “meh, not eating for a week won’t kill me” line of reasoning. It’s not like you can buy much for your student allowance dollar now anyway. (Cucumbers were more than $4 each at a certain supermarket—let’s call it Wew Norld—at time of writing). So now comes the question—how much is too much to pay for a concert ticket? Well, ultimately, a lot more factors come into this decision than you’d think—for instance, one cannot go longer than 20 days (give or take) without food. So, it is altogether inadvisable to pay for a concert ticket if it’s going to cost you a month’s food money. It is also inadvisable it prevents you from doing the following: paying rent; paying internet and power bills; and paying your Student Services Levy (otherwise, Student Health won’t treat you for malnourishment). However, in saying that, one doesn’t have to leave Wellington, or starve, to have a good time. Most bands that come to the windy city like to play at certain small venues around Wellington. San Francisco Bath House has played host to everybody from The Misfits to Peaches; Bodega has presented us with the likes of No Use For A Name and Nick Oliveri (formerly of Queens of the Stone Age). On top of these we’ve also been graced by the likes of The Black Keys, Helmet, and Sufjan Stevens. The point is, concerts are affordable for students. Sure, Wellington may not get all the massive names, but this has allowed the underground and indie scenes to flourish. So have some dinner, pay your rent, and go to an awesome gig.

Spotlight:

Collarbones Flo Wilson Australian duo Collarbones are an unusual pair. Sydney-based musician Marcus Whale collaborates with Travis Cook from Adelaide by sending and resending parts of a track over the net until they are satisfied with the outcome. Their self-stylised genre ‘loser pop’ might in fact be a nod to the amount of time they spend behind the screen away from social contact in order to make the project work, but such is the life of the lowly bedroom producer...

Read the rest online!

Glass Vaults Class Vaults CLASS ACT! Kiran Matthews Photos by Rachel Brandon Playing as a fourpiece for the first time, local dukes of ambient Glass Vaults put on quite the show. Supported by the ethereal and excellent Seth Frightening (among others), Vaults treated the San Fran audience to a powerful set. One found new life breathed into the groups’ signature crystalline tones, courtesy of perhaps the most nonchalant looking drummer I can recall seeing, and his penchant for perverse and hypnotic rhythm. Brother looked like he was in a trance. Seriously though, they were damned good. Go see them, soon.

Film

Medianeras Judah Finnigan The word Medianeras itself roughly translates to ‘sidewalls’, which a scene from Gustavo Taretto’s assured debut describes as every building’s blank, purposeless side—“enormous surfaces that divide us, reminding us of time, filth and smog”. That’s just one of many obvious parallels the film will draw between architecture and the human condition; consistently referring back to the vast, concrete jungle of its setting and how it reflects upon the people that inhabit it. Though what could have been a gimmicky stab at depth elsewhere emerges as a fresh, recurrent motif here; tying Taretto’s various concerns together to form an affectionate love letter to Buenos Aires, a sharp meditation on big-city connection and an Medianeras focuses appealing romantic on two characters comedy all at once, Martin and Marina while shot with a – two kindred spirits; canny eye for urban both living in shoebox aestheticism. Medianeras focuses apartments in neighon two character, boring buildings Martin and Marina: two kindred spirits, both living in shoebox apartments in neighboring buildings. Despite star-crossed compatibility, the two have never met and most of the film’s spur derives from the possibility that they never will. Yes, the set-up sounds like one of those contrived, serendipitous Hollywood romances that you might usually avoid, but the film holds a fresh charm despite its familiarity. Thirty minutes in, and you will be cheering for Fate to get off his ass and do his job. Weaving their idiosyncrasies and neuroses in and out of one anothers, Taretto distributes voiceover narration responsibilities between the two singles as they offer guides to the city, windows to their routines and insight into the woes of 21st century living and the digital age, and both characters (played by Javier Drolas and the ZOMG-gorgeous Pilar López de Ayala) are hugely endearing. Though, the melancholic reality of inner-city isolation and modern confusion that the film consistently draws upon demands to be betrayed eventually, and its conclusion sacrifices that core of pensive truths in exchange for coincidence and unabashed sweetness. Yet, as outlandish as its closing scene is, it’s also suitably perfect. You’ll find Medianeras has a similar effect on most other contrivances or shortcomings within its running time: all overpowered by infectious heart, a fresh, observant eye and dry, truthful wit.

BEIA Puppeteer’s NG ELMO: Journey

The Arts

Issue 15 Flatting

Johnny Crawford Small, furry and infectiously outgoing, Sesame Street’s Elmo is one of the most instantly-recognisable and lovable of Jim Henson’s stable of puppets. Less well-known is Kevin Clash. Much larger and more shy than his Muppet alter-ego, Clash and Elmo nonetheless share a childlike enthusiasm and, it seems, a nearly endless supply of goodness. Being Elmo tells Clash’s story, from his working class Baltimore roots to becoming Henson’s first black puppeteer and, more recently, his role as one of Sesame Street’s top talent scouts and producers. Combining archival footage and interviews with narration by Whoopi Goldberg, the documentary provides a relatively straightforward chronological overview of Clash’s life. Without dwelling on documentary clichés of conflict or struggling to overcome adversity, the film simply delivers a sweet story about the joy of following one’s passion. Its 80-minute running time is sustained by tales of likable people like Clash and Henson creating shows that bring delight to so many. That said, this wonderful sweetness is occasionally broken up by brief melancholy and there are a couple of moments in which even the least sentimental of the audience will struggle to hold back their tears. Clash himself appears to be as much a benevolent saint as The King of Kong’s Billy Mitchell was a scheming villain. The fact that no human being is as straightforward as either depiction is beside the point. Clash mentions that he never grasped Elmo’s persona until he realised that Elmo represented love, and the film and its depiction of Clash mirror the simple, uncomplicated goodness of Elmo and his impact on child viewers. What Being Elmo lacks in the gravity and intellectual heft that will nonetheless characterise the most anticipated films of the festival, it makes up for with sheer, unbridled joy.

What Up,

International Film

Festival?

tre. Why? Brad Tree of Life the Embassy Thea at ly Ju 30 ay rd tu 9pm, Sa d’Or at this year’s d it won the Palme an , Oh y. m m Yu t. Pit l. Cannes Film Festiva eatre. Why? It’s Arrietty at the Embassy Th ly Ju 31 e to ay nd Su , 1.15pm Borrowers—prepar i and based on The ibl Gh io ud St m fro be enchanted. Taxi Driver tre. Why? This, the the Embassy Thea at 29 the y ida Fr , m 3.45p a reason to watch mm restoration, is not. or re fo be it en 35th anniversary 35 se ether you’ve wh of s les rd ga re ic cult class ks on Film Homegrown: Wor tre. Why? It’s your e Paramount Thea th of at 29 y ida Fr , m 6p with the very best t what’s happening chance to check ou t film. So, like, go! New Zealand shor salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Books

Interview with... Salient’s Fairooz Samy talks to Michael Robotham about his latest novel, The Wreckage It’s lovely to meet you! What inspired you to write The Wreckage? All my novels are based on real-life events or they’re normally inspired by something I’ve read. In the case of The Wreckage, I guess it was two stories. One was a story in The Observer newspaper in the UK in December 2009 where the head of the UN Crime and Justice Commission was quoted as saying that, during the height of the global financial crisis, Western banks were so desperate for funds and on the brink of collapse that $352 billion in cartel money was laundered through Western banks. I was astonished by the size of those figures. The second story was a piece in Vanity Fair by two Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists, and this was around 2004. They discovered that on the day that George Bush declared ‘Mission Accomplished’ for the Iraq War, a C-130 aircraft took off from Andrews Airforce Base, and it began the biggest airlift of currency in the history of the US Federal Reserve Bank. 363 tonnes of money (US dollars) were flown in to Iraq to stop the country descending in to chaos, so that’s $12 billion USD, and $9 billion of that money has never been accounted for. In the chaos of war it just disappeared. So I was fascinated by this idea and those two stories, of writing a thriller about what might have happened to all that money. How do you go about researching an international thriller? Because I’m a former journalist, research is really important to me, accuracy is important to me. Funnily enough, I’ve travelled a lot, I’ve been to Iran, Syria, Jordan, a lot of places in the Middle East, but I haven’t been, to or only very briefly ever been to Iraq, so a lot of the sections—because the story takes place in London, Baghdad, Washington, multiple storylines that all pull together at the end—I had to do it from the internet, from reading diaries, from reading blogs of people that have been in Baghdad writing about petrol shortages and power outages. I studied photographs and just tried to build up a picture of what it’s like, and then, when it comes to the financial side of things, the banking conspiracy element, I talked to bankers and asked them about the way that money’s transferred and how money can be laundered. I just went from there and talked to experts.

Arts Visual Kelly’s obert

For R of Behind review oors, at the D it Closed rt Gallery vis A z m Ada t.org.n salien

You’d be surprised how, once you’ve got a couple of novels out there, how many people are willing to help you, whether it be police or pathologists—they get quite excited about helping a writer write a book, and I always make sure I put them in the acknowledgements at the front. What, in your opinion, makes a character interesting? To be compelling, they have to be very human. In fiction there are some very successful characters like Jason Bourne or James Bond who are superhuman almost, but people are willing to leave their sense of disbelief behind when they go into those sorts of books. I think a great character tends to be flawed, but not hopelessly flawed. Also, people just don’t seem to like them because they’re hopeless. They’ve got to have a great sense of I’ll always remember humour. I write crime/ mystery thrillers, and when I wrote my first people often assume that novel, The Suspect, at like that are plot the very end of that book stories driven. But ultimately, there’s a character who’s if you ask the readers pregnant. For years after of the genre to tell you their favourite book, that, I didn’t comment of the time it’s not on her again, and readers most the plot they remember would come up and ask if but the characters, and she had a boy or a girl it’s what brings them back time and time again to the same series. I’ll always remember when I wrote my first novel, The Suspect, at the very end of that book there’s a character who’s pregnant. For years after that, I didn’t comment on her again, and readers would come up and ask if she had a boy or a girl, and I’d say, “well, I don’t know”, to which they’d reply, “well, how can you not know? She’s had the baby by now”. That’s the art—creating believable characters that people think are real. Stephen King has praised your work as being “exceptionally suspenseful”. When you hear praise like that, are you used to it or is it new every time? When it comes from Stephen King, you sort of sit back and think to yourself, “Whatever else I do in my life, I will be able to sit on my porch in my rocking chair when I’m old and greyer, and say to my grandchildren, ‘Stephen King once said this’”. That was an enormous compliment—enormous. He’s not a man I’ve ever met, but I’m a huge fan of his work, and that came out of the blue and is an enormously influential sort of comment because he doesn’t do it very often. He doesn’t blurb on a book, he doesn’t comment on a book unless he’s really impressed by it. It was very nice. Read the rest of the interview at salient.org.nz

Games

The Arts

Issue 15 Flatting

Anomalous Materials

E3—The Good, the Bad, and the Hideous Donnie Cuzens

The middle of the year is always a bit of a foot-dragger for the games industry, the major releases at the start of the year having lost their charm and the “ol’ faithfuls” of your video game collection are the only things that hold any replay value. It’s about that time that the hype machine kicks itself into overdrive and the rotors of publisher PR departments and game-journos start whirling up a media storm about the next batch of Triple A releases and hardware. In the eye of this storm lies E3, a gaming/press convention at which last week, despite the brevity of Angus’ coverage, we managed to touch on virtually everything that warranted any interest. Microsoft is still pushing Kinect, the motioncontrol add-on for the Xbox, as hard as it can, despite a lack of interest from the core gaming community. Hiring child actors to flail about embarrassingly in front of a screen and having two guys play pretend football on stage is probably not the best way to endear “hardcore” gamers back to the product. Though granted, this may not be what they are trying to do at all, as the Kinect is still selling like hotcakes at J-Day... So this all makes a twisted kind of sense. Besides the original Halo getting a fresh coat of HD paint and the (completely unexpected!) announcement of another three Halo games, it really was a poor showing from the once-prolific software giants in the gaming department this year. Here’s hoping they remember who they used to be, leaders and innovators of the industry, and see them return to some semblance of their former glory. As for the handheld Playstation Vita (Sony thankfully having all but buried their lacklustre Wii-mote clone, the Playstation Move) and Nintendo’s bright shining future embodied in their newly announced console, the Wii U, this next step in gaming hardware presents some interesting and potent changes to the shape of the industry, partially brought about by the ever-increasing popularity of mobile/tablet gaming. So much so that I think we can wait to touch on these another week.

As opposed to Microsoft, Nintendo certainly know how to show up to a press event. For the 25th anniversary of the fan-favourite Zelda franchise, they brought along an entire symphony orchestra to belt out large-scale versions of the games’ iconic theme tunes. Combine that with their long-awaited broaching of the high definition-gaming arena, and I think we have a lot look forward to from Nintendo (don’t we always). Sony, however, speaking as a company at the event, had a very predictable tone to their proceedings. Another unreserved apology was given to Playstation 3 users for the lapse in service as a result of the Playstation Network being hacked earlier this year, and in all honesty, it sounded as sincere as it gets coming from a multi-national technology conglomerate. The reason I have barely mentioned actual video games thus far is because E3 is not entirely about video games, in the same sense that an It really was a poor electoral campaign is not a session of parliament. showing from the a press event, where once-prolific software It’s publishers and hardware giants in the gaming producers come together department this year to show face and pump out media releases regarding the most topical aspects of the gaming industry that year. The games, though present, are often not the main focus. If pressed though, I’d have to mention the enormous amount of first-person-shooters on display this year. Now, I love a good first-person-shooter as much, if not more than the next guy. But when the vast majority of Triple A tiles being shown involve having the butt of a gun stuck to the middle of the screen for most of the game, one starts to worry... Still! Battlefield 3, of course, looks jaw-droppingly, processorflamingly gorgeous. Bioshock Infinite will hopefully live up to its namesake and stir up the formula of a genre that is dangerously close to stagnating. Batman: Arkham City takes the brilliance of the original Arkham Asylum and paints it across a much, much larger canvas. Finally, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is quickly shaping up to be everything I could possibly want in an RPG title, and more. Now we just have to wait agonising months until we see any of these games again...

salient.org.nz

Feature

Salient Vol. 74

Theatre

Young and Hungry? Get Amongst It.

The Young and Hungry Festival of Ne is on at BA w Work TS theatre (bats.co.nz) from 22 July to 6 A ugust

Louise Burston

Side effects of Young and Hungry include (but are not limited to): enhanced knowledge of the theatre industry, increase in number of Facebook friends, heightened exposure to potential future directors, general super-happy fun times. You’re a stu dent so you know how it fe and hungry. H els to be youn ow about know g ing what it feel in Young and s like to be Hungry though ? That’s where interesting, fr things get iend, and allo w me to explai and Hungry is n why. Young an annual twoweek festival industry prof in which essionals men tor young’uns staging three aged 15 - 25 in new New Zeal and scripts at You can auditio BATS Theatre. n for an actin g role or throw with lighting, your lot in sound, assistan t directing, se or stage manag t, costumes ement. Sounds like a dream, but perhaps yo I know, u’re curious as to why you sh ravenous and ould get all youthful. Getting involv ed in the Wellin a bit like trying gton theatre sc to land your fir ene is st job in a cafe assuming here , and I’m that you’ve al l considered do in the hospita ing time lity industry, in that if you experience th don’t have en you aren’t as likely to be don’t get the jo hired but if yo b then how ar u e you supposed experience? W to get the orking with Yo un g and Hungry you onstage at will get BATS to flex yo ur performan as well as intr ce muscle oduce you to in dustry profes you might end sionals who up working w ith in the futu you loved bein re. Perhaps g in productio ns back in the school but are days of high a bit mystified by, and vaguel what awaits yo y afraid of, u in the big, ba d world of (cue use of capitalis pretentious ation) Theatr e. Getting into will have you a Y&H show working in a pr ofessional stru with mentors cture but to guide you; a delectable so to keep you se rt of safety ne cure whilst sa t vouring the gi of theatrical in ddy heights volvement an d having an a good time doin outrageously g it.

Want to try before you buy?

Then go and ta ke a gander at what the Youn Hungry 2011 Fe g and stival has to of fer. For a mer student, can se e $30 you, a e all three play s (that’s only $1 and have a ni 0 per play!) bble at the tast y, tasty banque and Hungry. t that is Young

First Course

For Johnny at 6.30pm By Whiti Hereaka Directed by Eleanor Bishop

It’s the final year of high school and Johnny is dead. His tight-knit circle of friends, rocked by the loss of him, questions the nature of their relationships now that Johnny is gone. Come along to see this intimate cast of six pick up the pieces in “a beautifully moving comingof-age drama” at the start of the evening.

Second Course

Hearts Encoded at 8pm By Aaron Alexander Directed by Rachel Lenart

Can you imagine a world which would allow you to be anything you want to be? Well, it already exists and it’s called the Internet. Hearts Encoded invites us to witness just how blurred the borders between fantasy and reality can be when avatars and social networking sites let us to tailor our identities at a whim.

Third Course

Disorder at 9.30pm By Thomas Sainsbury Directed by Robin Kerr

Not many plays claim to hope that their audiences “make it out alive” but then not many plays are about apocalyptic zombie attacks in New Zealand. Disorder looks set to be a wild spectacle of gorey zombie adventure.

Issue 15 Flatting

Louise Burston had a nice chat with Young and Hungry actors Jessie Tuke, Will Collin, Hannah Banks and Andrew Clarke I’m going to begin as if we were in an Internet chat forum and ask for your A/S/L (Age/Sex/ and original Location, for those of you not in the know). J: I’m 19, I’m male and I’m from Kirikiri but I went to school down in Auckland. W: I’m 20, I guess I’m a male, and original location is Hamilton. H: I’m 22, and I’m a girl, and I’m from Masterton in the Wairarapa. A: I’m from England ages and ages ago but I’m from Hawke’s Bay... I’m in my second-year doing Theatre at Vic. Were you one of the theatre kids who did drama at school? H: Well, I went to the school which had the strong drama department but in terms of the actual town... you know that theatre style where you sit around at tables and eat shit food and they do some kind of crap performance which no one likes? J: Yes, I was always in the school shows right throughout... it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. W: Yeah, all the way through. Directing, acting. So what prompted you to audition for Young and Hungry? W: I did Young and Hungry once before, two years back... I didn’t do any theatre last year and it was kind of like the first time I hadn’t done theatre for over ten years. And it’s something that I really can’t get away from... So I decided that even if I wasn’t doing it at university I could do it here and since I’ve done this before I decided to audition and got in. A: I didn’t know about Young and Hungry before I came here and then last year I heard everyone talking about it and lots of people that I knew from the Theatre course were talking about Young and Hungry and had auditioned and got in and it sounded like a really cool opportunity so when it rolled round this year I auditioned. J: I was really interested in getting into theatre down here. I’m up at a hall at Te Puni and one of the RAs told me about Young and Hungry and said I should audition so I gave it a go. H: I did it before as well, I did it in 2007 in my first-year, I knew about it because my sister did it in her first-year... I think it’s such a cool programme—we’re in a cast of sixteen and some people have not only never been at BATS before but they’ve never been in a show before and I think it’s a really cool opportunity and it’s really exciting to be in a play with people who are having that first-time experience and I feel they sort of reinvigorate you almost with their love of theatre. salient.org.nz

Feature

Salient Vol. 74

Theatre

What do you think are some of the challenges that a young actor in Wellington might face? H: I think one of the things that I learnt through my theatre experience is that you can’t just wait to be cast or wait for auditions and I think making your own theatre is the easiest way to get in and there are places like BATS theatre which sort of open the doors which is really cool. But, yeah, I think make your own companies, make your own theatre—that’s a way to get in and people start to know who you are and you can start doing other things as well. W: I guess the first challenge is kind of finding stuff. The theatre department at Vic is really great since there’s heaps of emails about auditions and things like that so if you get yourself on that mailing list, you know, it’s really useful. Are you all thinking of continuing in theatre? All: YES! Which areas? J: Just hopefully audition and get as many more plays under my belt as I can, so get as much experience as I can, and potentially audition for Toi Whakaari at the end of the year. A: I’m interested in acting and directing but I’m also really interested in writing and the Playwright’s Initiative that Young and Hungry also does. I’ve currently got a little bit of a brain child and I’m trying to grow it into an actual sort of plot that I can submit and hopefully it’ll get picked up and in two years it might be produced into a play which would be fantastic. Because the opportunities in Young and Hungry aren’t only for actors, right? W: Yeah, all of our technical staff—lighting, sound, everything, they’re all being mentored by professionals in the industry, getting the chance to form their craft. What advice would you give to young actors in Wellington? J: Probably just audition for as many things as you can and just get out there and try and get your name out there. W: Well, it sounds cheesy, but just don’t give up I guess. A lot of people feel real gutted if they don’t get in on their first audition and they lose faith but you’ve got to back yourself and know you’ve got what it takes to get in the industry. H: My advice would be to study it. I know personally that in my four years of theatre I learnt so much and it’s not necessarily a knowledge that you can just pick up from just being in shows—it’s a different kind of knowledge. A: Go out and find theatre to watch because you’ll find companies, you will find areas of theatre that you didn’t know existed before and it will open up so many doors. Actually you may find that you are interested in musicals or you are interested in anything that is available to you. Don’t limit yourself—get out there.

EATING DIRT, SWEATING MUD: SEASON TWO Jonathan Price

‘The Lover’

by harold pinter

Context is everything, and by this I mean where and when and to whom a play is to be performed. With Harold Pinter’s The Lover, director Rachelle Fons serves up a fast-moving, funny, clever show which asks for a provision of the audience’s mind and makes no demands of the heart, though it will accommodate if one is willing. Fine by me. It is also, importantly, one act long. In a season of 40-minute experiences, it is the complete stories you remember. The sheer pace of the show is immediately engaging. Actors Maggie White and JonathanAshley Harris spout dialogue at a rate of knots in a well pitched parody of upper-middle class routine that is neither too clinical nor overly charged. The pitch and pace produces some good comedy, and the rare unsuccessful moments were quickly forgotten. White in particular shows considerable stamina and dexterity, finding space in the break-neck script for moments of real vulnerability and providing just enough feeling to lift the absurd farce into the realm believability. The set and lighting are successful by virtue of their simplicity. All in all, well selected, well directed, well acted, well done.

‘Seascape with Sharks and Dancer’ by don nigro

If the following focuses too much on the script and neglects the production itself, it is in deference to the actors and director. A script, we are taught, is but the seed of a text, to be brought to life onstage, where it finds completeness. But a seed can be so putrid that one would be ill-advised in planting it. Don Nigro’s Seascape With Sharks and Dancer is such a seed, and humanity should curse him for smearing it onto paper. A plot summary is impossible in that it presupposes plot; it is a play about a couple who shouldn’t be together but are still together because it’s a play about a couple who shouldn’t be together. If Nigro’s greatest success is creating the world’s most implausible relationship, his second greatest is creating the world’s most unlikeable character with the impossibly rancorous and viciously self-loathing Tracy. There is no couple more ill-suited to embarking on a dialogue of weighty issues than Tracy and her incompetent and indulgently enigmatic writer boyfriend, Ben, and yet Nigro finds it fit to put the topic of abortion in their vacuous mouths. Director Cherie Le Quesne’s biggest mistake was coming within spitting distance of this play. The performances were adequate, but this only demonstrated how distasteful the whole affair is. I wanted Ben and Tracy to kill each other or themselves (the most implausible thing about the whole play is that they don’t) or, failing that, me. I must, however, question the lighting and set design. There is obviously some symbolic meaning to be had from the suggestively patterned windows and couch and the whirling, psychedelic cyc, but I couldn’t make anything of it. Sometimes less is more, and the last thing you want to do is dizzy an already queasy audience member.

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Notices

Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme

mobile Hae-ju, moves to Seoul, the other girls deal with the loss in different ways. Run time: 112min

Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Venue: VZ003

The Venn Diagram of boys who don't like smart girls and boys you shouldn't date is a circle.

Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore the world! Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.55pm - 1.05pm Salient provides a free notice service for all Victoria University of Wellington students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs and not-for-profit organisations. Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices should be fewer than 100 words. For-profit organisations will be charged $10 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org. nz, with ‘Notice’ in the subject line.

Drinking getting you down? AA Student Meeting Every Thursday Student Union Building Room SU219 Noon email: aameetingstudent@gmail.com

UniQ AGM UniQ Victoria is holding its Annual General Meeting in Week 4. Please see next week’s issue, and our facebook page, for a confirmation of date, time, and venue, and watch for the posters around campus.

Film Society Do you want a chance to watch a vast range of weekly movies with fellow students? Do you want to eat homemade popcorn while doing so? Do you want to pay dirt cheap prices for it? If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’ then come along to Film Society. Thursday Night 6:30pm Room 203, 83 Fairlie Terrace This week, pay only $15 for a year’s worth of films (carrying through semester 1, 2012) or $2 for a single non-membership screening and watch Stephen Chow’s excellent slapstick sport film Shaolin Soccer. Film Society: The perfect way to spend a Thursday night.

Sisters of Compassion Street Day Appeal Volunteers needed for the Sisters of Compassion Street Day Appeal on Friday 29 July. Can you help collect for a couple of hours from between 7am – 3pm around Wellington Central? Call Travina on 04 472 3325 for more info.

VicIDS Speaker Event: ‘A Whole Lot of Poo’ Monday 1 August, 5:15pm, CO304 Richard Mowll (MDevStudies student) will be presenting a talk on sanitation issues and development. He will talk about his experience of refurbishing a TB dispensary building in Uzbekistan back in 2002. The building had some serious sanitation issues which needed to be fixed. He will also show his six favourite photos of latrines in Karakalpakstan (in the west of Uzbekistan). No, really! The photos provide a nice way to talk through general sanitation issues in a low-cost environments (all about pooing behaviour and latrine construction). Sanitation is a key aspect of public health work.

Email: exchangestudents@vuw.ac.nz Website: victoria.ac.nz/exchange Visit us: Level 2, Easterfield Building Drop-in hours: Mon & Tues 9-12, Wed-Fri 10-12

The “Black Dog” Did you know that New Zealand, and Wellington in particular, has one of the highest rates of depression and mental health in the entire world? This “Black Dog” has wrought havoc in the lives of people throughout our country and one in six Kiwis will suffer from severe depression at some point in their life. With the expertise of professionals in the fields of clinical psychology and counselling, we hope to create an opportunity for students and staff alike to voice their questions and concerns on the topic of depression and provide these people with the answers that they need to best care for themselves, their friends or colleagues who suffer from this illness. So come along, invite your friends, and be a part of a community committed to finding ways to beat the Black Dog! Wednesday 27th July, 3:00pm - 4:30pm. Memorial Theatre, Kelburn campus, Victoria University

Flatmate Wanted Looking for someone quite, considerate and reliable to fill a bedroom in our flat on Fairlie Terrace. Very handy to uni, great views, friendly and reliable flatties (2 girls, 1 guy). $150/week plus expenses. No smokers. Contact Katie 0211636383

Free Admission to World Film Showcase!

Students for Palestine presents: PALESTINE SOLIDARITY This week: Thursday 28: Screening: Occupation 101. 5:00pm: SU218 (downstairs in Student Union Building). Documentary film depicting life in Occupied Palestine under Israeli military rule. Occupation 101 presents a comprehensive analysis of the facts and hidden truths surrounding the controversy and dispels many of its long-perceived myths and misconceptions. Friday 29: 2:00 - 3:00pm: Memorial Theatre Foyer, Student Union Building. Student Rep Council meeting with guest speaker John Minto (Global Peace and Justice Auckland): ‘To affiliate to the Right to Education Campaign at Birzeit University as a public show of solidarity and support to all Palestinian students and teachers who are struggling to live, work and study under Israeli occupation.’ right2edu.birzeit.edu/downloads/pdfs/ CampaignAffiliationMotion.pdf for more details Watch out for more events next week!! Contact vicpalestine@gmail.com for more information

Do something worthwhile this summer! Applications are STILL open for our Impact Abroad Summer Internship Programme but they won’t be open for long so get in quick. Challenge yourself with a truly cultural experience that has a positive impact on society. Develop professional skills not taught in the classroom and make yourself stand out to future employers. Travel abroad while still studying and gain experience before you graduate! We will be holding information sessions at the following times: Tuesday 26th 11am and 12pm Thursday 28th 12pm and 1pm Student Union Building Room 218

Screening held at the Language Learning Centre, on the big screen in VZ003. Be early as seats are limited. Foreign films screened with English subtitles. Films presented in association with the Italian Embassy, to celebrate Italian Language Week.

Find us on facebook! Search: AIESEC Victoria

Date: Wednesday 27 July Time: 5.00pm Mary and Max (Australia 2009) A simple tale of pen-friendship between two very different people; Mary Dinkle, living in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia and New Yorker Max Horovitz.

Look out for us around campus this week!

Spanning 20 years and 2 continents, Mary and Max’s friendship survives much more than the average diet of life’s ups and downs. Run time: 80min Venue: VZ003

We have activities like traditional dance, exhibition, traditional games, film showcase, foods, costumes, and many more...

Date: Thursday 28 July Time: 5pm Take Care of My Cat (Goyangileul butaghae) (South Korea 2001) In the port city of Icheon, five female friends struggle to stay close while forging a life for themselves after high school. When one of the group, upwardly-

Website: impactabroad.org.nz Email: wellington@aiesec.org.nz

Malaysia Week! 25-29 July 2011 Come and experience Malaysia!!!

OPENING CEREMONY VENUE: AM151 12-2PM, 25 JULY 2011 Organized by Wellington Malaysian Student Organization (WMSO) and in collaboration with Chair of Malaysian Studies (CMS)

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Letters Editors’ Note – We would like to acknowledge the correspondence we have received about last week’s Te Ao Marama issue of Salient which we produced in association with Ngai Tauira. Te Ao Marama is an annual requirement of the Salient charter. It’s purpose is to both provide resource to those learning Te Reo, and a place of interaction and discourse for those already fluent in it. We feel that this year’s issue fulfilled those purposes.

Love Languishes Under Language Barrier Dear Say-you-love-me-lient what’s the Uni policy on dating lecturers? When does a crush become a potential awkward classroom situation? Now, normally I’m an out going person and if I fancy someone, I let them know. This is a whole different kettle of fish. I can’t tell if the feeling is mutual, a languqge barrier makes flirting complicated. If I make a move and he says no then class could become a little “awkward turtle”. What do oh wise Salient? Yours, Searching For Signs.

Salient In Your Pants Dear Salient Thanks for the sneaky John Green. Made me smile. DFTBA people! Regards Humpy Hank Fan

Not a Gerontophile Dear Gareth, You make the point early in your article that student loans have been cut to students over 5. Correct. Later on in your letter you make another point, that

students are the leaders of tomorrow. Again correct. Ok, now let me tie it all together and make some points of my own. (If you are heavily left wing now would be the time to stop reading).

White whiner white whines about being called a white whiner

Alright, lets start with the over 55’s. I wholeheartedly agree that the bulk of students will be the leaders of tomorrow. But the over 55’s, they were the leaders of fuckng yesterday. And they failed, or they wouldn’t be at Uni again in the first place, or at least they would be rich enough to no have to bitch about student loans. I’m sorry (actually I’m not), but even at the bottom of the scale (55) after doing a degree you would have what, ten years, of working life left in you before you can retire. That is not really enough time for most people to make an impact. Of course, there will be exceptions to this, but they will be the ones who made a responsible choice when going to Uni and knew thay could financially afford it. By that stage in your life if you are going to get anything out of university you are in a position that you can accrue the funds to pay for it and if it is really something you want to do then you can make that choice.

That was not the most entertaining version of your name, but after reading last weeks letters section, it does seem to be the most appropriate.

National Sympathiser

More to the point, were those letters written about the lack of support for Maori/PI students, they would most definitely not have been headed “Maori Moaners”.

Food for thought Zoe, I was quite surprised at your food for thought article. The amount of data available about the impact of diets on the earth is phenomenal, leading me to think you actually didn’t do much research...regardless, here are some facts about meat and dairy consumption that were missing: Due to the intensive use of water for cattle raising and pasture growth, going vegan for one year saves 13 million gallons of water. It also saves the equivalent of one million pieces of paper through lessened rainforest destruction. It takes eighteen times less land to sustain a vegan diet than a meat and dairy one, and with the amount of arable land on earth rapidly declining due to fertilisers poisoning our soil, this will become an incredibly important figure within 50 years, maybe less. In regards to soybeans, it is more damaging to eat meat and dairy than to go vegan because of the phenomenal amount of soy that is fed to cows, plus vegan/veg diets don’t actually contain that much soy, just a little bit more than omnis (many of us aren’t that enthused by soymilk). Soy is found in more products than any of us care to think for whatever reason as well. Also, if your diet was entirely local AND organic then it would in fact be better. A diet with no meat or dairy is the single most effective thing you can do for the planet, and buying local fruit andveg on top of that goes even further. Geraint Scott

Dear So-racist-lient,

I’ve been religiously reading Salient every week since I started my degree, and have always found the content to be amusing, interesting and relevant to the lives of many of the students here at Vic. This is why it pains me to say, you screwed up my dear Salient writers. You screwed up big time. Not only is heading the letters sent in about Study Wananga as “White Whiners” both condescending and offensive, it also perpetuates the attitude of cavalier racism towards people of European descent that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. I would bet good money (if I had good money), that if those letters had been sent in by an asian student we would not have seen the headline “Asian Anger.”

Sort your shit out Salient. Just because your targets are white, doesn’t make your attitude any less racist. Sincerely, Yet-another-white-whiner

Mirinda?! I hardly know her! Why Hello there salient. Fancy seeing you here? Anyway I think it’s time for a rant which has nothing to do with the university or anything apart from my own personal preferences. First of all I fucking love soda I drink to much of the stuff. So sometime with in the last to months mt dew brought out 3new flavours. I thought this was fantastic more sugary goodness for my body. After a couple of weeks I noticed that I was no longer to get mirinda orange or raspberry. I am pissed about this. They are amazing and 10 times better than the alternative Fanta. Just because you bring out new products it is not an excuse to get rid of something better that the new product. Kindest regards Soda drinker

It’s PC Gone Mad! Dear PHIL123 lecturer: I’m vexed. I’m irked. I’m Pissed Off. Sure, I’ll pay $12.90 for the textbook. Hell, I’d pay fifty. I’d pay a hundred! I’m even happy to shell out the $29 for

Issue 15 Flatting

your crappy Australian computer program that supposedly teaches us philosophy way better than actual books can! What I won’t do, however, is take the advice of the course outline and install a virtual Windows emulator just so I can run it on my Mac. Seriously, what the fuck? Like any sophisticated and forward-looking computer user, I made the switch from PC a many moons ago. I don’t plan on going back. A survey done by Yours Truly several minutes ago showed that at least %43.7 of the people in this room use MacBooks, even if they were too polite to put their hands up when you asked. It’s already weird that we have to buy and install software for the class, but asking me to corrupt my beautiful baby with some filthy (probably pirated, let’s be honest) virtual machine is too far. Far too far. Cheers.

So you buried it under a pile of other Salients? AMIRITE!? Dear Salient, That picture of the grinning crested black macaque this week gave me nightmares. I had to bury the copy under a large pile of crap.

I was hoping against all hope that the person who came across it was kind enough to hand it in to lost property, unfortunately they didn’t. I’ll be the first to admit it was a stupid idea to take it off in the first place. I’d like to think if I had been in that position I would have handed it in. Whoever you are who has my ring, I feel sorry for you, obviously your mother and father did a very poor job in teaching you honesty and respect for other people’s property. Furthermore if you are so ballsy to keep someone else’s jewelry, I dare you to wear it it around campus. Wear it loud and wear it proud new owner, ‘cause if I see it on your digit, rest assured I WILL be retrieving it promptly.

A Pride Week to be Proud Of? What’s with UniQ’s pride week this year? The are hardly any events, and most are lazily organised to say the least. The publicity is minimal. And does anyone on the Exec know that it’s illegal to chuck on a DVD and advertise it as an event? I remember when UniQ used to have kick-ass events and sported the political presence that you’d expect from a gay/lesbian/queer student group in a Western capital city. What it is currently is a group of uni kids creating Facebook events for their buddies.

Sincerely, Sleeping with the light on

Upset About Sexual Assault

Something’s out of s(p)orts in Media Studies

I am really disappointed by the Student Healtth Service’s feature on Sexual Assault in this week’s issue. Rather than addressing sexual assault in general, it focused solely on male assault female, as if it is the only form of sexual assault. Males can be the victims of sexual assault, by both men and women, and it is just as damaging and traumatic as every other manifestation of sexual assault. To ignore this is an incredible insult against those victims.

Dear Salient, I am one of the many lovely ladies majoring in Media and like a lot of us ladies I don’t like sport (no offense to the ladies who do). I signed onto a paper for T2 this year MDIA 310 because the course description sounded interesting. “MDIA 310 deals with the relation between identity and culture, particularly as it is played out in and through the field of the Media. More specifically it considers how different cultural fields, with their genres, logics, discourses and technologies, work to circulate, facilitate, naturalise and orient audiences towards different kinds of identity formations, categories and performances. 100% internal assessment.” Little did I know that when I look at Blackboard it is completely focused on sport. I have spoken to at least 3 other girls who are also signed in and feel they have been taken for a ride, one girl is trying to drop the paper and get into a Gender paper but for some of us we have clashes with other papers. I ended up chatting with a couple of girls in my other classes who said that they heard that Tony had pulled the same trick last year where it is basically a sport paper but the course description doesn't say the word 'sport' once. How can a course description make no mention of the most critical part of the course? Is that even allowed by university standards? I feel very lied to and now I am scrambling to get into another paper. I am not alone in this feeling of betrayal if I have met so many there are surely others.

Technically, isn’t it now offyx? To the person who found my ring ... I lost a very precious black onyx oval ring last semester. I stupidly took it off as to not get it wet while washing my hands and left in the Cotton women’s toilets.

Dear Salient,

To make matters worse, the article demonizes all men as predators. To quote, “As men, how do you not understand the great harm that you do to [women]?” How someone with a PhD, and works with sexual assault victims, could have such a closeminded view on sexual assault as simply, “All males are dangerous to women” is completely beyond me. No wonder male victims so very rarely report being assaulted. This article does nothing but fuel stereotypes and further slights those male victims of assault. It is totally unacceptable, and I hope SHS and Salient investigates how this article was ever allowed to be printed. Regards, Declan Doherty-Ramsay

Linda responds Declan, Thank you for taking the time to read the article and for your comments. I am pleased to have the opportunity to respond by assuring you that in Wellington, across all the responding systems, care for male and female victims of sexual assault is delivered with equal concern. From the outset, the article was addressed to young women because they are substantially overrepresented amongst those who are sexually assaulted. This is evident in the literature and apparent in my work with victims. On that basis, it was directed to young women with the aim of helping to keep the majority of our clients safe and well. I am glad that you read on regardless and appreciate fully your comments regarding male

Salient Letters Policy 2011 Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything. Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week. Letters must be no more than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed. Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation. Letters can be sent to letters@ salient.org.nz, posted to Salient, c/- Victoria University, PO Box 600, Wellington or dropped into the Salient office on the third floor of the Student Union Building.

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victims. As I acknowledged in the article, not being female ‘does not give you immunity to rape. Anyone can be raped... .’ An article about male victims is an important one for someone to write, but this was not that article. In respect of your second concern, these were framed as questions to be ‘asked of men and by men’. The implication is that men will care enough to challenge attitudes in the interests of keeping their ‘mothers, sisters...’ safe from harm. Thanks largely to rape mythology, there is an onus on women to take the responsibility for keeping themselves safe, yet we know that it takes a whole community to create safe attitudes and environments. Directing the questions to men is intended as balance to that aspect of those longstanding rape myths - with the aim of mitigating the pressure on women. More particularly it reflects my continued faith in men’s integrity and confidence that, if the need is suggested, they will want to engage constructively with the problem. Linda Beckett (PhD)

Editors’ Note: We would like to firmly state that if we believed this article to be as reductive, callous, or offensive to abuse victims as Declan states we would not have printed it. We feel that that at no point and in no way did Dr. Beckett ever state or imply that a) men cannot be sexually assaulted, or b) that all men are dangerous to women. To not mention something is not the same as denying it.

salient.org.nz

Salient Vol. 74

Puzzles

CRYPTIC ACROSS: 1. The bane of circle diagrams and electrical resitance measurement (5) 4. Shortage of the fourth note belongs to me (6) 8. Exude from the menagerie by England (4) 9. Put off your determination (5) 11. Get everyone nice, tender like elves (6) 13. Component of the nut around my eye (4) 14. Pill battle! (6) 16. Call off the Sister in Los Angeles (5) 17. Design the pig pen with half a leaf (5) 20. The lamb I take for the range (5) 22. Whisper words of wisdom, in most part for the deed (5) 24. Spike the Marvel who wields a hammer by night (5) 26. Vacant hemp tycoons (5) 27. Be gallant and no bleeding! (5) 29. No he can’t read my burning hot face! (5) 31. I dream to appreciate (6) 34. Alternatively, be a lounging garment while dressing (4) 36. The lodger after nine Doctors (6) 37. The road to mix off... (5) 38. The way velvet surf moves (4) 39. An icon like percussion (6) 40. To get in contact with the preachers (5)

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.55)

9 8

DOWN:

1. Poison (5) 4. Dearth (6) 8. To seep (4) 9. Discourage (5) 11. Kind (6) 13. Building block (4) 14. A slab (6) 16. Cancel (5) 17. Flair (5) 20. Scope (5) 22. Name (5) 24. Prickle (5) 26. Unfilled (5) 27. Aristocrat (5) 29. Card game (5) 31. Esteem (6) 34. Gown (4) 36. Resident (6) 37. Path (5) 38. Hand gesture (4) 39. A representation (6) 40. To stretch out for something (5)

2. A thought (6) 3. Little piece (6) 4. Pretend (5) 5. Dark (5) 6. Sum (5) 7. Visitor (5) 10. Fundamental (5) 12. Coat (6) 15. Malevolence (4) 17. Tarnish (5) 18. Surpass (6) 19. To halt (4) 21. Security deposit (4) 23. An exertion (6) 25. Rear (4) 28. Unconcealed (5) 29. Advertisement (6) 30. Samurai sword (6) 31. Performer (5) 32. Berserk (5) 33. Admission (5) 35. A deep basin (4)

CRYPTIC DOWN: 2. An idea of it in noon (6) 3. Sell more of the tidbit (6) 4. Fake most of your fingers (5) 5. After sundown sounds like the Dark Bale (5) 6. The whole of the flat otters (5) 7. A customer estimated (5) 10. It is crucial to have green English breakfast in my small glass container (5) 12. Cover Jill’s brother, an alien (6) 15. The wickedness of delivery (4) 17. Abstaining from leaving a mark (5) 18. Go beyond the former poppy and sesame children (6) 19. Discontinue the saint operation (4) 21. Connection to Goldfinger (4) 23. Attempt beef for tomorrow (6) 25. The back of high-definition around the knights who say Monty (4) 28. Oh the French green is open! (5) 29. After the emergency room is a picture (6) 30. Reverse an attack from a Japanese weapon (6) 31. A player rot California (5) 32. The guy I see is agitated! (5) 33. Attempt after most of the end for a way in (5) 35. Super soup cut (4)

Sudoku 4

ACROSS:

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Jul 20 03:51:41 2011 GMT. Enjoy!

Bar None J

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Issue 15 Flatting

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fir st

THIS IS yOUR OPPORTUNITy

Fairfax New Zealand Journalism Internships FAIRFAX MEDIA, publisher of the country’s leading newspapers, magazines and websites, is again seeking bright, aspiring journalists to become the outstanding journalists of tomorrow as part of our intern scheme. We want the best people to be part of our multi-media organisation. The scheme is now in its fifth year and already those chosen are making their mark not just in newsrooms but in national media awards. The successful applicants are chosen by editors and editorial leaders throughout Fairfax after they prioritise the Fairfax Media organisations they would like to work for. After undergoing exceptional training at one of our five preferred journalism schools – the University of Canterbury, Massey University, Wellington, the Waikato Institute of Technology (Wintec), Aoraki Polytechnic, Dunedin, and the Auckland University of Technology (AUT) – interns join their chosen newspaper or website.

We will reimburse the fees of those who pass and provide challenging work afterwards in our newsrooms. As well, we provide ongoing training and opportunities to advance. We are seeking highly motivated people from all walks of life to join us. A relevant tertiary qualification is preferred but we will consider candidates who have minimum qualifications of NCEA Level 3 or the relevant life skills.

For further information and to apply online at: http://www.fairfaxmedia.co.nz/careers/journalism-internships.dot before noon on Monday, August 1, 2011