Issue2-Housing by Salient

CONTENTS 04

06-11

Contributor Call Out

News

Memes and Activities

14-17

18-19

20-21

Student Homelessness (Feature)

Photo Essay

Centrefold

22-23

25-35

36-38

I tested positive. What next? (Feature)

Culture & Columns

Entertainment

About Us Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through the Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University. Complaints Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the Editors in writing (editor@salient.org.nz). If not satisfied with the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@mediacouncil.org.nz).

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There’s No Shame in Moving Back Home EDITORIAL Despite being from Wellington, I forced myself to fork out a huge amount of money to live closer to the CBD while studying. “It’s part of the student experience,” I chattered through my teeth as I shivered in my flat. It was great fun for a while; I met amazing people at Weir House and my flatmates and I really bonded over our fear of rats. But I had to work two jobs while studying to keep up with living costs, and eventually it all became too much. I moved back in with my parents this year—a privileged option that I know many students don’t have. Returning home initially felt like such an L. I was embarrassed to tell people that I had lost to the housing market. That I wasn’t tough enough to suck it up. I spoke to some of my friends from high school who were in the same boat as me. Milan flatted with me last year, which was his first time out of home. We lived in a beloved hovel deep in Aro Valley, where each of us paid $235/week. “I moved out of home to challenge myself,” he said, “but that challenge ran its course.” Milan explained that while he grew from the experience of flatting, the comfort of being back home in a financially stable environment was beneficial to his health. Annie had a similar story. She echoed Milan’s sentiment about “wanting to face more of the challenges ‘adult life’ had to offer” by flatting. Since she’s now a Masters student, Annie cannot work as many hours as she used to and is also no longer eligible for student allowance. Her finances compelled her to move back home, but to her it felt like “taking a step back.” I’d like to dispel the idea that moving back home is shameful. As much as we want to challenge ourselves, not all of us find it worth the everincreasing price tag. The cards are stacked against students, and picking the ‘easy way out’ isn’t regressing—it’s realistic.

We have our news and feature stories, which investigate and report on the housing crisis and student accommodation. Our news discusses halls not paying residents their bonds back, why students can’t afford to study in Wellington anymore, and an update on the Gordon Wilson flats. In our features, Zoe Mills breaks down student homelessness, and Azaria Howell explains what to do when you get Covid-19 in your flat or hall. To maintain balance, this issue also includes fair share of dumb bitch-ery: housing memes, a quiz, a caramel slice review, and a photo essay of iconic student flat décor. No matter what your living situation looks like, I hope this issue resonates with you.

Ngā manaakitanga,

JANHAVI GOSAVI (SHE/HER)

There are two sides to this week’s Housing issue. www.salient.org.nz

Do you have a PSA that needs to be heard? Send your letters and notices to editor@salient.org.nz if you’d like them published on this page

Vic Film Society Join us for a movie in HM104, every Wednesday at 7pm! Vic Film Society offers a diverse range of free movie screenings for all students, along with some chill banter and games. Our trimester 1 line-up: 2nd March: American Psycho 9th March: Weekend 16th March: The Muppet Movie (1979) 23rd March: Ema 30th March: The Night of the Hunter 6th April: Beasts of the Southern Wild 27th April: Run Lola Run 4th May: Pig 11th May: Dancer in the Dark 18th May: Some Kind of Heaven 25th May: Tank Girl 1st June: Tampopo

Are you a keen poet? Salient is accepting poetry submissions! Email your poem(s) to poetry@salient.org.nz, along with a brief blurb about yourself, and shoot your shot at getting published.

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Gordon Wilson Flats Turn Ten Words by Ethan Manera (he/him) The year 2022 marks ten years of the infamous Gordon Wilson flats sitting empty at 320 The Terrace. The building was historically used for social housing and was home to 130 residents, many with serious mental and physical health conditions. An unexpected one-week eviction notice was served in 2012 as the building was identified as high risk in the event of an earthquake or strong winds.

status. This means that any plans to develop the site would need to be approved by the Environment Court of New Zealand and would also likely face public backlash.

Since 2012, the iconic Gordon Wilson flats have been left to decay. In 2014, Victoria University of Wellington purchased the building from Housing New Zealand for $6 million, but hasn’t yet made progress on developing the site, ex-Vice-Chancellor Grant Guilford describing its state as “decrepit.” In 2020, VUW planned to demolish the building in order to create what they called “Te Huanui redevelopment this would see an accessible link from the central city to Kelburn campus and host multiple buildings for “state-of-the-art teaching and research facilities”, as well as cafés and study areas. These plans were met with pushback, with critics saying VUW should be prioritising student accommodation to alleviate struggles of the increasingly inaccessible housing market. The Te Huanui redevelopment has been put on hold in 2021, with the Wellington City Council giving the Gordon Wilson flats a Category I historic building

Source: Stuff

When asked what VUW’s current plan is with the Gordon Wilson flats, Grant Guilford told Salient that they are still assessing all options, including demolition, repurposing the existing building, or selling the property to developers. Guilford said they are waiting on “a piece of research” as to whether they are able to refurbish the units but that they’re “not coming up with any solutions other than demolition at the moment”.

Former Stafford Residents ‘Outraged’ Over Missing Bond Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)

Students who lived at Stafford House in 2021 have not received their bonds, despite being promised that they would be paid the full bond amount “within six weeks of moving out.” “I moved out on the 6th of November. I’m upset with the fact that I haven’t received my bond. I would of course understand a short delay, but now they’re in breach of the six week period they’ve given us to pay it back. It’s unjustified that they haven’t replied to our constant emails on the matter,” says former resident and Political Communication student, William James Hall. Hall has sent over “half a dozen emails” to Stafford House, with no response. Hall isn’t the only one waiting for a bond repayment from Stafford House. Corbin Jordin, a Te Reo Māori and Political Science student and former resident of Stafford House, has also not received their bond. “It has been, I think, ten weeks now. I haven’t received anything at all,” they said. Jordin says the responses from Stafford House have been “inconsistent,” they’re not sure why Stafford House is yet to pay their bond back.

Source: Uni Lodge

“The response was that it was a Covid thing they couldn’t pay on time. They were trying to figure out who was in the hall over the lockdown in terms of repayments, but that doesn’t apply to me. I was there the whole time. It shouldn’t be an issue with my repayment,” Jordin says. They estimate over 150 people are in the same boat.

“I want to reinforce the idea that this is a bunch of people in their first tenancy, and to take advantage like that is really exploitative. They need to understand the impact it is going to have on those students from not having $400 back. That’s a lot for a student.” At the end of 2021, Stafford House broke their contract with Victoria University of Wellington, making the Hall no longer managed by the university. It is now managed by UniLodge, a student accommodation company based in Australia. Former resident Corbin Jordin says this isn’t an excuse. “They’re now an independent hall, but our contract was with Victoria [University of Wellington],” Jordin told Salient in an interview. “It says in writing that, when referring to the university and our contract, it is explicitly with Victoria University. Now it’s run by a different company, by different people, and there are thousands of dollars that are unaccounted for.” When questioned on the matter, a university spokesperson told Salient, “Last year, Stafford House was a Te Herenga Waka—Victoria University of Wellington partner hall. This means the University has no visibility over financial transactions. The University encourages students who have not received their 2021 bond back from Stafford House to contact the hall directly, and has directed some students to the advocacy service run by Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association.” Many students have already contacted Stafford House, with no bond repayment to be seen. When informed of the university’s response, former resident Corbin Jordin said their advice was ridiculous as they had contacted the hall multiple times with no response. “I entered into an agreement as a first-year student expecting it to be upheld,” Jordin added.

Many have not received any communication from Stafford House directly, and have had to resort to sending multiple emails just to receive a “vague response, if anything.” “I guess a lot of first-years wouldn’t be as clued up about their rights,” Jordin adds, worried that many new renters would not know where to turn or who to contact regarding missing bond payments. www.salient.org.nz

Students Put Off Study Due to High Rents Words by Beth Mountford (she/her)

Note: Names have been anonymised to protect the identity of those in vulnerable circumstances. Current and prospective students are beginning to turn away from study at Te Herenga Waka—Victoria University of Wellington due to high rents in the city and little support from StudyLink or the university. Niki Rongola was offered a trimester of free fees in a Masters program at Te Herenga Waka, beginning this trimester, which she turned down due to high rental costs in the CBD. Rongola, who has a learning disability, said that the high-workload course advised against working part-time, leaving her relying on StudyLink allowances alone. “We couldn’t find a single room in Wellington or even way out in the Hutt for an affordable price on StudyLink alone […] I was willing to live on $20 for food a week—we still couldn’t find anything,” she said. Rongola’s mum offered to take out a second mortgage on their family home to fund her daughter’s study. “My mum desperately wanted me to take it in the hopes it would pull me out of depression and give me a fresh start,” said Rongola. A third-year Health Psychology student at Te Herenga Waka said they are going to transfer to the University of Canterbury to pursue their postgraduate study, with their decision coming “purely down to the rentals.”

A study by Te Pōkai Tara—Universities New Zealand states that 53% of full-time domestic students work 10–13 hours on top of their 40 hour study week. For many students working 10+ hours is the only way they can afford to study in Wellington—even with the maximum support from StudyLink. According to the StudyLink Accommodation Supplement criteria, all Wellington suburbs are classified as “Area 2”—the same as Tinwald (3bdrm house around $400p/w) and Whangārei (3bdrm house around $500p/w). The cheapest three bedroom house to rent in Wellington (listed on Trade Me at the time of writing) is $610 p/w. Maximum accommodation supplement sits just over $100 p/w. Student loan living costs are $242.53 p/w. The necessity of high work hours is exclusionary for students with learning disabilities, chronic illness, and those with high-workload courses. When asked for comment on unaffordable housing driving students away from Wellington, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said an increase in “student support” is expected to have a positive impact. “I absolutely understand that, particularly in Wellington, the housing market is very very difficult and it was one of the reasons that we considered [students] alongside those benefit increases,” the Prime Minister said.

They share a room and work part-time to be able to afford to live in the city, but a chronic illness means they can only work four hours per week. “We have a great friend group, we love Vic, and I have an amazing doctor here, but we know our landlord will increase rent again next year too,” they said. Student and Property Manager, Alisha Panthor says that power in the housing market is “unbalanced to favour landlords and property investors,” and that this manifests in renters being scared to voice their concerns over rent increases or the condition of their flat. “[...] landlords have too much power over renters, so much that they’re even scared to exercise their rights, which is awful,” says Panthor. Currently, rent increases are limited to once a year but there is no legislation restricting the amount rent is increased by—and no improvements to the property are necessary in order for the landlord to increase rent.

Source: Trade Me

Healthy Homes Standards Aren’t So Standard After All Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)

VUWSA Engagement Vice-President, Katherine Blow, was going to a flat viewing for a Trade Me-listed property when she noticed something abhorrent: “The bathroom opened to a cave between the houses,” the flat didn’t have heating, a room cost $420 a week. This flat didn’t meet the Healthy Homes Standard, says Blow; breaking this law is “super commonplace.” Many fellow renters sympathised with Blow on social media, adding their all-too-common experiences with rentals that were not fit for purpose. Another Wellington-based Victoria University of Wellington student said they had been to a viewing of a “seven person flat with no windows.” Another said they “lived in a place in kelburn for six months with no heating, no insulation, and no openable windows” for $390 a week, per person. The Healthy Homes Standard became law in 2019 and sets guidelines for landlords to provide housing which meet standards for “heating, insulation, ventilation, moisture ingress and drainage, and draught stopping.” These standards are not being met in some Wellington properties. The Healthy Homes Standard states that all rental properties must have a fixed heater installed, yet there was no form of heating at all in the properties Katherine Blow viewed which were advertised on Trade Me, one of New Zealand’s largest rental advertisement websites. “Students are faced with no choice but to live in homes that don’t meet the Healthy Homes standards.

What’s even more upsetting and wild is that nothing has been done to regulate the power imbalances between landlords and renters who hold so much power over tenants,” Blow told Salient in an interview. According to Tenancy Services, landlords who refuse to meet healthy homes standards are liable for damages of up to $7,200. Yet in response to a question from Green MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, Associate Housing Minister Poto Williams revealed that the government doesn’t collect data on the number of rentals that comply with these standards. Landlords are also required to include a statement of their current level of compliance with the Healthy Homes Standards in all forms of tenancy agreement. Exemptions have allowed landlords to bypass the standard if it is not ‘reasonably practicable’ to adhere to. VUWSA is setting up a student renters’ union to combat issues of rentals not meeting the Healthy Homes Standards. “There are way more renters than landlords and collectively we can get shit done,” Blow added.

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“It’s Not a Complete Mess, but It Hasn’t Gone Amazingly”: Case Numbers Explode in VUW Halls of Residence Words by Ethan Manera (he/him)

As Covid case numbers soar across Aotearoa, Victoria University of Wellington halls of residence are experiencing outbreaks like never before, with staff and students calling the university’s response “unprepared” and “panicked.” On Monday, 28 Feb, VUW confirmed that 648 residents are isolating, with Covid-19 having infected over one quarter of all hall residents. This number is only expected to rise as the outbreak grows. Director General of Health, Dr Ashley Bloomfield told Salient, “university halls of residence are high risk at the moment, we have a nationwide superspreader event that is the start of the university year.” Dr Bloomfield maintained that universities had adequate preparation for the outbreak. Many involved, however, have criticised the university for not doing enough, calling their response “messy” and accusing VUW of keeping staff “in the dark.” The Tertiary Education Union’s VUW branch released a statement calling this outbreak “entirely predictable” but that any attempt to question the university’s preparation “fell on unwilling ears”. Dougal McNeill, the branch President said, “Health and safety are not just buzzwords; all practicable steps need to be taken by law.”

James, a Capital Hall resident, told Salient, “It hasn’t gone amazingly, they were not enforcing the restrictions well. It’s all over the show.” James said that since testing positive over three days ago, he “didn’t get any breakfast for the first few days” as he wasn’t told it needed to be specifically requested. Meals are allegedly coming “very late” and are “always cold”. When asked how many residents have tested positive, James said that “at least half of Capital hall are infected” including all but two residential advisors. “There is a lack of info about what we’re allowed to do. I don’t think they were prepared for this,” he added. A resident from Victoria House told Salient that they’ve seen infected residents walking around the hall. “They were just going on a leisurely stroll [...] there were plenty of other people in the hallway, it definitely wasn’t safe.” They said there are “practically no restrictions”. Both acknowledged that the halls’ mismanagement of Omicron is not the fault of the RAs’ but simply a wider institutional failing. VUW continues to stand by its Covid response, telling the media, “Detailed planning had been undertaken to prepare for an outbreak of Covid-19 in our halls of residence and good systems are in place.”

It is not only the staff who are upset with the halls’ management of Omicron. Residents themselves are feeling confused and upset with the response they’ve received.

Source: VUW

Headline Junkie A Bite-Sized Look Into the Big Stories. Words by Salient News Team Dame Valerie Adams Retires From Professional Sport Olympic shot-putter, Dame Valerie Adams announced she will be “hanging up these size 14 throwing shoes,” and retiring from professional sport. Regarded as one of New Zealand’s best Olympic athletes, Adams has won Olympic gold twice, with a silver medal in the Rio 2016 games, and a bronze in Tokyo 2020. A four-time world champion and New Zealand’s Olympic flag bearer in the Tokyo Games, Dame Valerie Adams has had a career full of success.

RAT Race: Rapid Antigen Tests Rolled Out in Pharmacies Covid-19 Rapid Antigen Tests are available for purchase at pharmacies across the country. They are also able to be purchased online. As of Monday, 8 March, Rapid Antigen Tests will be sold ‘atcost’ at New World, Pak’nSave, and Four Square supermarkets. Rapid Antigen Tests, also known as RATs, give results for Covid-19 within 15 minutes. They are also available at community testing centres.

New Vaping Regulations Not That Strict All vaping retailers, manufacturers, and importers are now only allowed to sell products that are registered with the Health Advisory and Regulatory Platform. More than 6,000 products have been registered on the database so far. Flavoured vape juices are still allowed to be sold by specialist retailers, as long as they comply with product safety requirements.

Self-Isolation Rules Scrapped For Vaccinated Travellers and Returnees Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that fully vaccinated travellers to New Zealand will no longer need to isolate. Travellers will still have to take a rapid antigen test upon arrival in New Zealand. Unvaccinated travellers and returnees will still have to complete isolation in an MIQ facility. The Government has not ruled out bringing back the MIQ system if other variants of Covid-19 cause more global concern.

Severe Flooding Hits Australia Heavy rain and flooding has occurred in Australia’s east coast. Brisbane, Australia’s third-most populous city, has been hit with a severe weather warning after 15,000 homes were impacted. Evacuation orders have been proposed for multiple Australian towns and cities, with emergency services providing support to the wider New South Wales region.

VUWSA Positions Remain Vacant Until By-Election VUWSA, The Victoria University Students’ Association, does not currently have a campaigns officer or equity officer. A VUWSA by-election is set to take place on 23 March at the VUWSA Initial General Meeting, where students will be able to vote and run for the currently vacant positions.

“We Need your Help”: Russia Invades Ukraine The United Nations Security Council recently held an urgent meeting, where nation states warned that millions of lives were at risk due to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. The UN Refugee Agency announced they would be making amends to help four million Ukrainians evacuate the country. Russia’s annexation of Ukraine has been supported by Belarus, with Belarusian troops going to war in Ukraine. New Zealand has provided $2 million of aid to support those living in Ukraine. Foreign Affairs Minister, Nania Mahuta stood against Russia’s invasion in a statement, saying, “Aotearoa New Zealand stands by the people of Ukraine impacted by Russia’s unprovoked invasion.”

TikTok Increases Maximum Video Length to Ten Minutes Popular social media app, TikTok, has announced they will be increasing their maximum video length to ten minutes. The app has over one billion monthly users. With ten-minute videos being allowed on the platform, many have claimed the app may rival YouTube. Previously, the app only allowed 60-second videos, this was increased to three minutes in 2021. Now, longform content of up to ten minutes will be allowed on the groundbreaking video-sharing app.

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Student Homelessness Words by Zoë Mills (she/her)

Our vision of what homelessness looks like is tainted.

in the city, due to our current unclear idea of what it means to be homeless.

When we think of homelessness, it’s easy to imagine a far-away abstract visual of what that looks like: a person living on the street or sleeping in a doorway. But in reality, it’s right on our doorstep: It looks like couch surfing for months on end in between flats, being forced out of a flat due to unlivable conditions, and living in cars or vans. It’s time we address the rapidly growing issue of student homelessness in Wellington.

So what’s causing the growing epidemic of student homelessness?

While youth homelessness has previously been attributed to factors such as domestic violence and discrimination on the basis of identity, there is now a growing number of young people being forced into it because of soaring rent and unliveable homes. Last year, RNZ reported that an increasing number of students are being forced to sleep in their cars due to rising rent prices in the city.

right on our doorstep: It looks like couch surfing for months on end in between flats, being forced out of a flat due to unlivable conditions, and living in cars or vans It’s difficult to get an exact estimate of the current number of students homeless

For Wellingtonians, it’s well known. Dealing with unreasonable landlords, soaring rent prices, and mould-covered flats has become a rite of passage for a student living in the city. The narrative of poverty has been packaged and sold to students as ‘the student experience,’ something young people have to deal with in order for them to earn their stripes. The 2018 census reported that around 40% of homes in Aro Valley were damp, and that 18.4% of Wellington’s housing stock were considered mouldy. In October 2021, it was reported that rent had reached an all-time high median of $620 a week for the average home in central Wellington. As for Wellington CBD, last October the median rent hit an average of $645 a week. Similar trends follow in outer suburbs, with a three-bedroom rental in Johnsonville averaging at around $600 a week. Let’s break it down. Currently, the highest amount of

living costs that students can ask for is $242.53 a week. It’s estimated that the average asking price for a 5–6 bedroom place in central Wellington is currently around $1150 per week (but let’s be real—we all know that this is a huge underestimate). That would make the average rent for a five bedroom place around $230 per week. Add on utilities (let’s say that it would cost around $12 per person) and that leaves students with $0.53 for groceries, transport, and other general living costs. Hardly a liveable income. It’s not surprising that the term ‘van-life’ has skyrocketed within a generation who deals with stress through dark humour and participating in internet culture. Instagram posts tagged with #vanlife have increased by 312% since 2017, culminating in over a whopping 7,000,000 posts. ‘Van-life’ is a term that describes the lifestyle of living in a car, van, or campervan permanently. It’s packaged and sold with the allure of the ability to always travel, be a free spirit, and reject the status quo to find ULTIMATE FREEDOM. Ten years ago, sleeping in your van would raise some eyebrows and draw concern. The glorification of ‘vanlife’ has become another way for a generation threatened by homelessness

to deal with the very real possibility of being forced out of one’s home. In 2019, Wellington student Jonathan Ford lived in his van for 18 months after rent hit record prices. With the money he has saved, he plans to travel around Asia after selling his van, The NZ Herald reports.

Instagram posts tagged with #vanlife have increased by 312% since 2017 While we can point fingers at outrageous rental prices, it’s important to note that rent prices aren’t the sole factor for the student homelessness crisis in Wellington. Factors such as cold flats, unreasonable landlords, and disagreeable flatmates are also a key reason that students are being forced out of their homes. Claire*, a student working towards a post-grad certificate, was forced out of her flat last November when she contracted a lung infection due to the severe amount of black mould on the property. She is currently still searching to find a permanent home to live in. “I decided to move out […] we ended the lease there and all the flatmates decided to move back home because they didn’t have a place to live. Because I have a job and I don’t have anywhere else to go, I was looking for flats,” Claire explained. “I went home to New

Plymouth to stay with my parents for a while, but I had to come back for work”. Claire continues, “I’ve literally been looking since [the 10th of January] to find a flat, and I’ve gone to close to [...] 50 viewings. I’ve messaged, I’d say, well over 200 people. The issues are that the flats are super expensive if you want something decent, or they’re mouldy and will give me another lung infection, or the people just don’t reply because they are overwhelmed.” “It’s been about a month that I’ve been living in my ex’s house […] I’m staying in their flat, but it’s like a sleep out [and] it’s not insulated. It’s freezing cold, the last few nights have been horrible.” To Claire, it’s obvious that student homelessness is far too common. “Being in this situation, and talking to others in the same situation […] I keep meeting more and more people experiencing the same thing. It’s stupid. I think that everyone’s just lucky that they have friends so they’re not left on the street.” It’s a similar story for Laura*. Now a graduate, Laura found herself homeless for three months halfway through her second year in 2019, after an unfortunate flatting situation. “I was in a flat and it turned out to be a pretty toxic environment for my mental health. I decided to move out and I

got offered a place, so I sorted out [a new tenant] for my previous flat,” she explained. However, on the day she was due to move into her new place, she was told that the tenants had decided not to move out at the last minute. For the next three months, Laura found refuge on couches in friends’ flats. “I just couch surfed for the whole time. I was never properly on the street but I was just lucky that I had friends who had places for me. But it was so hard then to find somewhere, because it was mid-year, it was so hard to find somewhere that I could afford.” Although both experienced differing situations that forced them into homelessness, Laura and Claire share the same consensus: that the University is not doing enough to assist students needing emergency housing. “I dont think they’re doing enough right now,” explained Laura, “The University should have a few more second year halls […] they do have a lot of property that they could turn into [housing].” If there’s someone who has witnessed first-hand the extent of the student homelessness crisis, it’s Denzel De Ruysscher. De Ruysscher is an Aucklandbased photographer, designer, and researcher. In 2018, he published his thesis at VUW titled “The Culture of Couch-Surfing Amongst Students.”

His research approach uses film photography as a medium to document the realities of the student homelessness crisis in Wellington. “The scope of my thesis was to add a social issue with contexts and methods of design, I wanted to use film photography as a medium for my thesis and discovered that photovoice was a method of design,” Denzel explained. “The reason I focused on couch surfing was, that at the time, both me and a few of my friends had or were couch surfing due to the fact that there was a huge shortage of student accommodation in Wellington and there was a trend that was starting to show.”

“You want to stop student homelessness? Get the government to start going after landlords and the bullshit prices they ask for cold damp homes.” The findings of his thesis were as he predicted—“That students were struggling to find affordable accommodation which resorted them to couch surfing or living in really bad housing situations and it was taking a toll on them mentally and on their studies.” And as for solving student homelessness? Denzel believes that

there isn’t a straightforward answer. “Steps were being taken by giving students more money from student allowance and landlords took that as a sign to raise rent prices,” he explained. “You want to stop student homelessness? Get the government to start going after landlords and the bullshit prices they ask for cold damp homes.” It’s time we reframe what we see as homelessness with empathy. While the threat of student homelessness is present and can feel hopeless, it’s important to know that there are organisations growing that are working to assist students in need, and advocate for justice in the rental market. The University wing of Renter’s United is available to offer advice, and the Citizens Advice Bureau is available to offer legal assistance. Above all, it’s crucial to prioritise mental health and wellbeing in times of crisis— you are not alone. For mental health support 1737; Visit or call 1737.org.nz for the national crisis team Mauri Ora; VUW’s student counselling service. Contact mauriora@vuw.ac.nz to set up an appointment.

WGTN

Cribz

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GWIL, www.salient.org.nz SPACE INVADERS,21 2022

I tested positive. What next?: student solutions for omicron in flats and halls of residence By Azaria Howell (she/her)

The Omicron variant of Covid-19 is spreading exponentially. With daily case numbers in the tens of thousands, preparedness has never been this important. And like an episode of Bear Grylls’ Man vs Wild (excluding the one where he drinks his own piss to survive), we’re gonna get prepared together. When I was reading the news, doomscrolling through Twitter, and watching impromptu press conferences with caffeine and Covid-induced anxiety, questions arose. What do I do if I’m a household contact and have a positive case in my flat? What is the protocol for halls of residence? What do I do if I have symptoms? Doomscrolling wasn’t enough. I needed answers. It’s confusing. I’m not used to traffic lights, phase three, and seeing cases soar. One day I’ll be old enough to shock people when I say “we used to have lockdowns,” on a rocking chair with grandchildren and pets by my side, sipping a coffee and reminiscing on press conferences watched from a cracked laptop screen. “Yes, I was a graduate of Zoom University,” I’ll say, staring at the now-faded degree atop a hopefully-notmouldy wall.

Symptoms of Omicron According to the Ministry of Health, the Omicron variant comes with flu-like symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, headache, fatigue, coughing, and sneezing. Other less common symptoms include muscle aches, nausea, and chest pain. Monitor yourself for symptoms and try not to stress! I had a covid-scare last week, and worrying about it made my headache even more excruciating. The Wellington region has a number of testing centres, with drive-through testing and walk-ins available. Those who are symptomatic should get a test and isolate until the results come through. Positive cases will be notified via text. It usually takes between 24 to 48 hours for PCR test results to arrive, but now that rapid antigen tests are being rolled out, you can get results within 15 easy minutes—only one and a half listens to Taylor’s Version of “All Too Well.”

The First Step: Have a Plan Our strongest form of protection against the Omicron variant is the vaccine. Ensure that you get vaccinated if you are able and eligible, it’s worth the quick prick of a needle, and you get a free lollipop after if you’re lucky, as a ‘thank you’ for protecting the community. Clinics are available across the Wellington region. If you’re on campus and need your booster—head to student health right now for a walk-in. Getting vaccinated is quick, free, and easy; vaccinators can answer any questions you may have. I’m scared of needles, so I had to bring a plush dog to help me through the vaccine—do what you’ve got to do. Contrary to my expectation, no one laughed at me when I, a 20-year-old, fully-grown woman, brought my plush dog with me to help ease the needle anxiety. Be prepared to study from home if you need to; Zoom University is back in session. The university laptop loan scheme can provide laptops to students experiencing financial hardship who need to study from home. Student Learning Te Taiako has set up online modules which can be found on the Victoria University of Wellington website to help students adjust to virtual study. Make your study space comfortable—I have a couple cheap fake plants and a mini fridge full of

energy drinks to keep me company. If you’re going to be isolating, try to make yourself feel more at home, it’ll be more comfortable. Put together a kit to help yourself and those who you live with in case you have to isolate. Grab some tissues, soap, hand sanitiser, masks, gloves, cleaning products, ibuprofen, paracetamol, cough medicine, and throat lozenges. It can also be a good idea to include a list of people who you can reach out to in times of stress. Isolation can get boring, so make sure you have enough things to keep yourself busy and happy: board games, exercise gear, books, video games, art supplies, and lego sets. Keep yourself entertained while being safe. Your bedroom is your oyster, and the world will be once you’ve finished your isolation period. Don’t stress. I mean it. Take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, and have a drink of water. Work and Income are able to help with financial struggles. The Student Volunteer Army is able to drop off essential supplies, including medicine and food, if you’re isolating. Mental health services such as the support line 1737 are available 24/7 for free, so don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help.

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The ‘F’ Word: Flatting Aotearoa is currently in phase three of the Omicron community response. Under this phase, if a person tests positive for Covid-19, all high-risk household contacts are required to be tested. Essentially, if you test positive, your flatties need to get tested too, and vice versa. If you test positive, you are required to isolate for ten days. If your flatmate tests positive, you have to self-isolate and get a test on day three and day ten of their isolation period. Cases living in apartments are suggested to open

windows and doors to a balcony to improve air flow, yet they are not permitted to be on the balcony if other residents are nearby. With everyone in a flat isolating, it may be difficult to get essential items as no one is permitted to leave the flat unless there is an emergency or to exercise safely in the garden. The Ministry of Health suggests asking friends or whānau to shop on your behalf for essential items, such as food or medicine, which can then be dropped off at a safe distance. Don’t overlook contactless food delivery, it can be a godsend.

What About Halls? It is a requirement to be fully vaccinated against Covid-19 in order to live in a hall environment. Residents are strongly encouraged to wear a face mask in hall common areas including lifts, common rooms, and office areas. Residents are expected to adhere to social distancing guidelines. Meal times may be staggered by floor to adhere to the 100-person gathering limit. If you are unable to make your scheduled meal time, you can order late food from the Food4Me app. Residents have been advised that their meals can be safely delivered to their rooms if they are required to isolate.

Positive cases must use the designated ‘isolation bathroom,’ and have been told to make a list of people they have been in close contact with, advising those on it to get tested. Residents have also been advised that halls are sanitised to prevent the spread of Covid-19 infections. Residents have been reassured that halls are “cleaned to a high commercial standard.” In addition, halls will provide residents with “medical grade sanitising wipes that should be used between each use in the bathrooms,” to prevent further spread of the virus.

”Grandpa be like” I once owned a large brick house in the far corner of town. It had large north facing windows and a cosy back garden. I bought it for [REDACTED] and sold it for [REDACTED] to an investor who already owned twenty houses. Now I retire in luxury in the [REDACTED] I bought. The rest went to charity. I am so poor. Aimee Norrie

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Caramel slice review Words by Daisey Vahey (she/her)

I’m big on giving back to the community, especially when the community is filled with caramel slices that I have been asked to review and rank. Therefore I consider this my civic duty, a public service, to let you all know which places to hit and which to skip when it comes to the unparalleled delight that is a caramel slice:

5th

4th

It’s an enigma as to why this thing is so bad. Sorry.

Location: Enigma Cafe Cost: $8 Size: She’s a mammoth. Chocolate/Caramel/Base Ratio: 1:5:1 Slice-ability: Felt like I was in the mines trying to break a bit off of this one. Overall: Any caramel lover who is able to overlook incredible mediocrity in all areas and only cares about the amount of the sweet stuff they get, this could be for you?

Reliable and available 24/7

Location: Night and Day (Manners Street) Cost: $4.60 Size: Smallest and flattest of the lot. Chocolate/Caramel/Base Ratio: 1:1:1 Slice-ability: Vaguely and unsurprisingly melty. Overall: White chocolate swirled into the top wins it some artistic and arbitrary points. Cheap, sweet, and to the point. I’d expect nothing else from Night and Day fare.

1st

No Question

Location: Louis’ (Kelburn Campus) Cost: $5 Size: The classic triangle. Chocolate/Caramel/Base Ratio: 1:1:1 Slice-ability: A bloody dream to stick a fork into. Overall: Must have nicked The Lab’s salt because there was a wonderful almost-flapjack element to this thing. And this may feel like a supremely idiotic thing to say, but this thing was practically caramelised! Classic in look, elite in taste.

2nd

3rd

Missing the top layer, still tastes bloody great

The caramel saved my life

Location: The Lab (Kelburn Campus)

Location: Aro Cafe

Cost: $5.50

Cost: $5

Size: Long and strong.

Size: Film bro major: skinny and tall.

Chocolate/Caramel/Base Ratio: 1:1 (doesn’t pass the three element rule but this location is a student staple).

Chocolate/Caramel/Base Ratio: 1:3:3

Slice-ability: Decent, due to lack of chocolate top. Dry base though, no soggy bottoms here. Overall: The word salt on the name tag implied I would get a little oomph and yet there was no salt to be found. Loads of quality caramel, though, and a better than decent overall taste.

Slice-ability: Back in the mines. Caramel oozes, unbreakable chocolate, impenetrable base. Overall: Wins points for actually having salt when it said it would. Promptly loses them for having half the ocean flavouring the thing. The caramel and base, which was essentially a dense brownie, saved the day; I’d happily pay for just those layers.

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ISOLATION FRUSTRATIONS WITH... Going into their final year of study, Above Standard’s Ella and Alice, were planning to record a podcast episode on ‘How to Not Fuck Up Your O-Week’ when Omicron colossally fucked up their last O-Week. While the gals are no longer flatmates, they both have their own stories about how Covid messed up their first recording session of the year: THE COVID SMOOCH: Alice Chrisp It all started off with a dusty Sunday (and I’m not talking about the podcast). I met my mans at the airport, like the jet setters we are. He’d just come from a 21st in Dunedin, and I’d been in Auckland. Anyway, I ran up to him and gave him a big ole smooch. Little did I know that this smooch would land me stuck inside for ten days with the notorious virus. Two days later I found myself with a bit of a tickly throat and off we went to the Taranaki Street testing centre to wait an hour and 45 min line to get a test. As someone living with an immunocompromised disease (T1 diabetes gang) I’d always hear the horror stories of how Covid may affect you. And yup, my test came back positive. In a weird way, I think I manifested it. Everyone kept asking me how it was, honestly it kinda was just like a real shit cold. Stuck in bed for three days with a bad headache and a few cold sweats. For me, it was doable: I was double vaxxed, and spent the time bingeing tv shows and listening to my current favourite true-crime podcast, Morbid. If you’re in isolation, we recommend these Salient Podcast eps:

COVID-19 HAS BEEN MY BIGGEST COCKBLOCK: Ella Hoogerbrug Covid-19 cock-blocked my O-Week, my 121 Festival 3-day-bender-extravaganza and a first date. Literally with a Capricorn man, who had everything planned out to a T and I’m a Taurus, so I love that shit. But my flatmate tested positive. Within the first couple of hours of isolation, our flat was the most hygienic it has ever been. On our goddamn hands and knees, we bleached, sprayed, and scrubbed to prevent anyone else from getting infected. In spite of the cleaning escapade, we got a fucking rat in our bin the next morning. What was it eating? Probably the three-week-old stir-fry I had forgotten about in the back of the fridge — BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT. By the end of isolation, we were Essex Street’s Hottest Home bakers. With coffee and croissant deliveries every other day, our favourite plug became Aro Bake. The weekend was spent bonding over drinks and meeting our neighbours through the window. Oh, and no one else got Covid-19. Keep in mind ten days in a house with your mates is only a fifth of the time you’d spend in the Bachelor—villa wanking over some guy with no outside contact. Get a grip.

BROADENING HORIZONS: FLAT DÉCOR Helping You to Be Better Than Basic Words by Dylan Todd (he/him) Now that you’re settling in for 2022, you probably want to bring a bit of personality to your flat or bedroom. Why go with these tired clichés everyone’s seen before, when you can take it further and do something a little more unique? THE GIANT TAPESTRY Looking at your walls, there are probably some gaps bugging you, maybe behind the couch, or the head of your bed? You might pick the easy option of maximising coverage with some wild mandala tapestry or flag, but going big isn’t always best. Try thinking on a smaller scale and get something more interesting, like a print from some of the many artists right here in Wellington. Whether it’s tattoo artists selling flash, or prints from smaller hobbyists, there’s definitely gonna be something for that niche you want to fill. And with Kmart frames costing less than your daily commute, it’s easy to one-up the gaudy tapestry. THE PULP FICTION POSTER If you want everyone to know that you know cinema, you might go straight for the recognisable option of picking up a poster of the Tarantino classic. It’s cool, everyone recognises it, and it gives you a chance to drop your spiciest kino hot takes. But get this, there are cooler posters for cooler movies that are just as accessible and haven’t been done to death. Shops like Graphic on Cuba Street have an array of posters that are sure to catch people’s eye, with plenty of the classics available. But if you really wanna make it known that you’re a cinephile, online stores like Mondo have a lot of high-end merch and artist-designed posters that offer a more stylish option. Sure, they might not be filmbro staples, but they’ll definitely look better on your wall.

THE POP VINYLS As a pop culture aficionado, you probably want to show off all your favourite franchises, but it’s Wellington; you’re working with limited space so you can’t exactly put up a million posters. You might think a space-saving option would be to grab miniature physical renditions of your favourite characters—while it might seem like the easiest choice, don’t give in to the cheapness of a POP Vinyl! Instead, look slightly further, because any franchise that’s represented by Funko has better, cooler, and less cheap-and-nasty alternatives that will 100% look better to show off, and feel better to collect. Whether it’s Disney, superhero shlock, anime, or games, Nendoroids are something of the artisan’s alternative to Pop Vinyls, with a cute and cohesive aesthetic that’s perfect for showing off all your interests, without giving in to the bug-eyed, soul-stealing Funko menace. THE POLAROID WALL Now, there’s nothing wrong with having those cheap Polaroids blu-tacked to the wall surrounded by a string of fairy lights but have you ever stopped to think about the way it really looks? Despite what you might think of your layout skills, it’s still gonna look like a preteen’s bedroom. So, take a step toward adulthood—abandon the nasty Instax camera and head somewhere like Photo Warehouse to get some actual film for an actual camera, or even just some disposable ones. The difference is huge, and you’ll end up with more than just a stack of blurry, plastic-y Polaroids. Whether it’s in photo albums or frames, having real photographs goes a long way to heightening the maturity of your space. Plus, now you can string those LEDs somewhere that doesn’t look like shit, right?

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How My Culture Sets Me Up For The Housing Crisis/At Least There’s A View? Anoushka (she/her)

Laurelei (she/her):

Welcome back to another year of Rice To Meet You! After a long, rice-less summer, I hope you are looking forward to receiving more useless advice from me.

Funnily enough, I have become the tenant of an uninsulated, mouldy, and leaky room. To cope, our flat has taken on the mindset that our place is ‘vintage’ and embodies the cottagecore aesthetic. But such a mindset can only go so far when one of the doors has rusted off its hinges and there’s been a few too many rat sightings.

I am from Wellington and still live at home with my parents. I was going to move out in 2021 but decided against it because rent prices in Wellington made me cry. So while I am freeloading, I do understand how horrifically expensive living in Wellington is. Looking at the cost of living in a Wellington shit-hole made me realise two things: Moving out before I graduate will mean having to sell my left kidney to pay for it. Owning my own house no longer seems like something I’ll be able to do. But then I remembered that I’m Indian and that my culture actually sets me up to one day own a home. In India, once you exit your mum, you live with your parents (or in-laws) forever. For a lot of New Zealanders, it is pretty common to move out the second you turn 18, but Indian parents will never kick you out. A lot of couples in the Indian community will get married and then move in with one of their parents to save money, affording them a house in a market that is very unaffordable. We see no shame in children leeching off their parents—it’s normal and sensible. Plus, being an immigrant means understanding the value of money and what it means to struggle without it. So while I don’t aspire to live with my parents forever, I am glad I can shamelessly live off them until I somehow procure $1 million to buy my first uninsulated, leaky one-bedroom home.

A lot of my other friends have also ended up in equally health-hazardous housing. As much as we joke that this is a “quintessential part of student life,” it’s difficult to stay lighthearted when both physical and mental health is constantly put at risk. I don’t know how my asthmatic homies will survive the winter and it’s strange that we have to pay so much for so little in a country that our parents moved to for more security and opportunities. When my parents first visited the flat, my mother made the joke that it was “just as mouldy as our very first rental in New Zealand.” If a baby could survive its formative years in a Healthy Homesdefiant flat, then surely my 19-year-old self could survive a year in similar housing. ‘Paying for the location’ seemed like a great idea for someone who’s spent the last seven years of her life taking a 40-minute bus ride into town and back. Now that I’m actually living central? Yeah, I would take a weekly $30 Snapper bill over my current cost of rent in a heartbeat. In the end, I’m still not entirely convinced that my flat can be “exempt from the Healthy Homes standard of insulation”... but at least there’s a view?

UniQ Kia ora and welcome to UniQ Victoria!

Student Friendly Wellington? Yeah Right.

We’re the queer representative group here on campus, and here for all your queer needs. We use “queer” as an umbrella term for the whole of the LGBTQIA+ community.

When it comes to living as a student in Wellington, it’s always new year, same shit.

Currently, your exec for 2022 are myself (Communications Officer), Rosie (President), and Alex (Treasurer), but we are gearing up for our IGM soon to elect a ton of new members to our team! We’re always looking for new voices to help make the university a more inclusive place. We run al kinds of cool events, such as Pride Week in trimester two and weekly social spaces, but we also participate in advocacy work. We write submissions on bills and actively fight for your rights at university, like the right to gender-affirming healthcare, gender-neutral bathrooms, and the ability to have the correct name on your ID cards. This year is our 25th anniversary! Keep an eye out for our birthday celebrations in Pride Week. You can stay up to date with us by joining our membership and all of our socials using this QR code. Anyone is welcome to join up, whether queer or an ally.

We all know, hear, and (sadly) live the stories of misery, stress, and anxiety that comes with Wellington’s annual flat hunt. Whether you’re competing to secure a rare Healthy Homes Standard abode, or settling for an overpriced sunroom-turned-bedroom, flatting in Wellington is a mare. For years, students have been demanding for more support and a change to the system but instead of having our calls answered, we’ve been met with ever increasing rents, stagnant financial support, and a rental market which treats students as cash cows. And there’s something about this year that just makes this time feel worse. A growing number of students are being forced to work multiple jobs, on top of study, to cover costs or are deciding to move out of Wellington because it is incredibly unaffordable to live and study here. This shit needs to change. So, what are we going to do about it? Collective action.

Not a fan of coming onto campus at the moment? That’s cool too. We hold many virtual events throughout the year, particularly on our Discord server, which you can also join using the QR code.

This year we have three key opportunities to push for change, campaign for better, and hold those in power accountable:

We’re looking forward to meeting you all.

The power imbalance between landlords and tenants is alive and well but let’s tilt the scale by ensuring our rights are being upheld.

Billie (she/they)

1. Know and speak up for your rights

2. Support VUWSA’s campaign for student renters. Working with key advocacy and community groups we’ll be setting up a network for students to take action. Watch this space! 3. Enroll and vote in the local body elections. This year we can vote for a Wellington City Council that cares about students and our housing and living needs. We know the status quo doesn’t work for us and disproportionately leaves tauira from marginalised communities behind. So, let’s do something about it.

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A recipe for Koshari Jack O’Donnell (he/him) has worked at top restaurants in New Zealand and overseas. He is currently head chef and kitchen manager at The ReMakery, and enjoys sharing the recipes he’s gathered in over 20 years of hospitality experience. Koshari, an Egyptian dish similar to its Levantine cousin Mujaddara, is the humble yet widely revered street food dished up daily by street vendors in Cairo. It’s just the right kind of carb overload: one that makes you feel like you’ve been hugged by a giant fluffy potato. Bound to use up all those pantry staples, koshari consists of a mixture of well-seasoned rice and lentils, toasty chickpeas, and little bits of pasta. To make things even more delicious, there’s this tangy tomato-y sauce that goes on top to get mixed all through those fine starchy suspects, which is crowned and bejewelled with caramelised onions. Get your chilli flakes, chilli oil, olive oil, and favourite vinegar or dressing on the side, and you have yourself a sumptuous feast fit for very humble royalty.

Ingredients: Koshari Base • 3 cups cooked brown lentils • 3 cups cooked rice • Ground coriander to taste • Salt & pepper to taste • 2 cups cooked pasta, the smaller the better but anything will do • Olive oil Crispy Spiced Chickpeas • 1 x 425g (15-oz) can of chickpeas • Spices (I like to use a mixture of ground turmeric, cumin, and coriander) • Salt & pepper to taste Tomato Sauce • ½ cup olive oil or other cooking oil • 1 onion finely chopped • 4 garlic cloves finely chopped • Coriander to taste • ½–1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, to taste • 1 x 400g can of crushed tomatoes • Salt & pepper to taste • 1–2 tablespoon vinegar Crispy Onion Topping • 1–2 onions sliced, depending on size • Salt & pepper to taste • ½ cup cooking oil

Method:

The best thing about this dish is that you can get every element of it ready ahead of time, particularly the rice, pasta, and lentils. I find that these develop flavour after being cooked, so reach for them on day two. It’s also good to dress them in a bit of flavoured olive oil once cooked. Then it’s a case of firing up a pan, cooking out the onion and garlic, adding the tomato sauce ingredients, and letting it tick away as per a pasta sauce. Season it up with salt, pepper, coriander, chilli, and vinegar as you see fit. In another pan, heat the oil for the crispy onions and toss them in. Keep the heat on medium till they’re cooked through and then crank it up a bit to get that nice toasty flavour and colour. While these are cooking away, coat the chickpeas in the spices and a bit of oil to get those flavours well dispersed, then roast them till crispy and golden. Now it’s time to put it all together. Warm up your pasta, lentils, and rice in a pan, chuck some in your bowl, and top with lashings of spicy tomato sauce, crispy chickpeas, and caramelised onions. Eat and enjoy, seasoning as you go with extra vinegar, chilli flakes, chilli oil, or whatever you please! Happy days.

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What Stereotypical Wellington Flat Are You? Words by Janhavi Gosavi (she/her) How would you best describe your bedroom? a. The state of the art gaming equipment distracts visitors from the black mould b. A soothing colour palette with matching furniture c. A single bed next to a growing wall of Garage Project cans d. Organised, comfy, with a scented candle on your bedside table e. Craft projects cover the walls and there’s a crocheted blanket on your bed You get to contribute one piece of wall decor to the living room. Is it… a. A stolen road sign b. A Kmart poster with a quote on it c. A Salient centrefold d. A frame with your degree in it e. A piece of art from a local creative What kind of flatmate are you? a. The one that never makes any real food b. The flat mum c. The social butterfly d. The flat administrator e. The flat dad

Your flatmates are throwing a party. You are… a. Parked up on a couch with a box of Billy Mavs b. Hopping on the aux to play “Toxic” by Britney Spears c. In the middle of the madness d. Trying to find a wine glass for your vino because you refuse to lip it e. Having a DMC with a stranger by the recycling bin It’s your turn to wash the dishes. What are your weapons of choice? a. A manky ball of steel wool that has bits of egg stuck in it b. A brand new Scotch-Brite c. Your own god-given hands d. A dishwasher that actually works e. An eco-friendly bamboo dish brush The flat has decided to have a group outing. You suggest… a. A hike up Tangi-te-keo (Mt Vic) b. A bar that’s doing two for one cocktails c. A BYO restaurant d. A drive up to Castlepoint e. A wander around the Wellington Art Gallery

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Mostly As: The Dude Bro Man Cave Characterised by the echo of lo-fi beats and the stench of mid-range cologne, this is a flat where you’re free to be your most authentic self. You pee with the door open and may even scrunch—not fold—your toilet paper. While half the drawer handles are missing and rats have nibbled on the carpet, one thing will always remain intact—your love for the boys. Brotherhood gets your flat through the dampest winters and the muggiest summers. But living with your brethren can have its downfalls and you haven’t gotten any action in ages. Mostly Bs: The Basic Bitch Flat Welcome to the kiwi budget-version of a sorority, where your flatties are your sisters. Just like the girlies, you love going out for mid-week drinks and getting tons of sample products from Mecca that are otherwise wayyy out of your price range. You can fit all your uni essentials in a tote bag, and there’s a communal pile of them in the hallway. Your dining room table is covered with a tangled web of MacBook chargers but you can always tell yours apart because it’s decorated with Olivia Rodrigo-style stickers. Mostly Cs: The Party Flat Yee-fucking-haw! After spending the week slogging away at assignments, you come alive in the night time. There are LED strip lights in every room and spare towels underneath the bathroom sink for when a guest inevitably spews. Your neighbours have grown weary of filing noise complaints but your friends love you for your wild ways. But make no mistake, this is a flat of hustlers, not slackers. One of your flatmates probably hosts a podcast, another one almost definitely invests in the stock market. The best thing about this flat is that you know how to work hard and party harder. Mostly Ds: The Yo-Pro Apartment Imma keep it real—this apartment is less of a home and more of a house. Everyone living here is a successful busybody who’s on that 40hr/week grind. You and your flatmates mainly just engage in small talk and discuss flat admin in your group chat, but you’re fine with that! You’re a private person who has about three best friends and a sea of acquaintances. On the bright side, it means you get to invest lots of energy into your close relationships. If your best mate needs a clean and vacuumed floor to roll around and cry on, your apartment is their go-to. Mostly Es: The Haven of Arts n Crafts DIY is well and truly in your DNA. You’ve managed to turn your shitty flat into a museum of creative projects made from recycled materials. The cracks in your walls are hidden by collages and you’ve painted a funny face on the bucket that catches the leaks in your ceiling. Your flat loves cooking together and breaking bread over a good board game. You’re big on supporting small local businesses and composting. There is also an 87% chance that 78% of you are queer.

ACROSS

DOWN

1. Obsessions; all-encompassing focuses (14) 10. Mountain where the Greek deities live (7) 11. Item cooked on Shrove Tuesday (7) 12. It won the Best Original Song Oscar for ‘Titanic’ (2,5,4,2,2) 13. Snout (4) 14. State where you might visit the Alamo or the Alamodome (5) 16. Fencing weapon with a French name (4) 20. Mutually give up on an argument (5,2,8) 23. Malady (get well soon, folks!) (7) 24. South American river whose name means ‘a place to paddle’, featured in the title of an Enya song (7) 25. Playground game combining hide-and-seek and tag (2,4,4,4)

2. Beats; pulses (7) 3. Bruce Wayne or Jane Eyre, famously (6) 4. Amanda Seyfried role in 2012’s ‘Les Miserables’ (7) 5. Soft drink originally called ‘Brad’s Drink’ in 1893 (5) 6. Knot up; ensnare (6) 7. University whose student magazine is ‘Critic’ (5) 8. Helper animal for the blind, often (6-3,3) 9. Describing a live sport (12) 15. State where you might visit the Hoover Dam or the Grand Canyon (7) 17. Go on stage, perhaps (7) 18. Use, as a coupon (6) 19. Crisp salad root (6) 21. ‘The Simpsons’ character featured in the ‘I’m in danger’ meme (5) 22. Rock band with the 2005 album ‘Don’t Believe the Truth’ (5)

LAST WEEKS ANSWERS

FILM

Word of the Week: Home Te Reo Māori: kāinga New Zealand Sign Language:

85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz @splendid.nz

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Aries The moon is currently waxing gibbous, a time for motivation and abundance. As it moves through the fourth house this weekend, seek encouragement and support from family. They’ve got your back.

Cancer Hoh. Cancer. Venus is in the eighth house this week, and that means it’s time for some witchy sex rituals. Whip out the candles under the blossoming moon and get a bit weird.

Libra Libra is all about transformation and reformation this week. Let go of things you don’t need like that t-shirt you never wear and your self-doubt. Inhale, exhale, and transcend.

Capricorn With the sun in the house of technology and perception, you might feel self-conscious, particularly in regards to social media. Whakarongo mai and repeat: Instagram is bullshit and social media is fake.

TITLE

Taurus Goodbye to day-drinking in the sun and hello to hitting the books. Discipline is on the menu this week, my friend. Discipline and structure.

Gemini With Uranus in the twelfth house, your dreams (good and bad) may unexpectedly become a reality. This week you’d be wise to live by the mantra of “be careful what you wish for.”

Leo

Virgo

You might feel a spontaneous urge to travel and see the country this week. For the love of all things healthy, don’t. You don’t want to be doing a RAT test in the back of a leaky van.

Neptune is in the house of relationships for Virgo. If you have any gut feelings or dreams about those around you, follow your intuitions. Your instincts are strong this week.

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Jupiter in the fifth house brings a lucky streak into play for Scorpio. It’s time to absolutely decimate your opponents—break out the Mario Kart because you’ve got the planets on your side this week

Aquarius This week is a good time to set boundaries. Maintaining good emotional structure in your life will stop you feeling unstable or overwhelmed as uni kicks back in.

You hold a lot of responsibility over decisions this week, and the best option is to let the tired things die and let the new things spring from the ashes. You may be letting comfort have too strong a hold on you.

Pisces Don’t let minor conflict between you and your pals create distance in the friendship. Try not to keep secrets—prioritise open communication instead.

THE SALIENT TEAM YOU CAN THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR YOUR WEEKLY FIX.

Editor Janhavi Gosavi

News Editor Beth Mountford

News Editor Azaria Howell

Designer Alice Brown

Chief Reporter Ethan Manera

Sub-Editor Lily Holloway

Features Editor Ronia Ibrahim

Staff Writer Bridget Scott

Staff Writer Maia Ingoe

Staff Writer Zoe Mills

CENTREFOLD ARTIST

This week’s amazing centrefold is brought to you by:

Instagram: @aliviawalkerdesign

Social Media Manager Seren Ashmore

Podcast Manager Francesca Pietkiewicz

Daisy Vahey

Website Manager Annalise Scott

Contact Us features@salient.org.nz poetry@salient.org.nz editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz chiefreporter@salient.org.nz news@salient.org.nz

CONTRIBUTORS Ralph Zambrano

Ella Hoogerbrug

Puck

Dylan Todd

Aimee Norrie

Phaedra Capes

Jack O’Donnell

Anoushka Divekar

Billie Angus

Alice Chrisp

Laurelei Bautista

www.salient.org.nz

Reckon you’re a bit of a writer? Have you got the gift of the gab? Send a pitch to editor@salient.org.nz and come join the Salient family We’re particularly interested in pitches for news stories, feature articles, reviews, and columns. For those of you that love staring up at the stars or down at a crossword, we’re also looking for horoscope writers and puzzle masters. Are visual arts more your thing? Get in touch with designer@salient.org.nz to see how you could contribute photography, illustrations, and centerfolds to the magazine.

Also - applications to be our Te Ao Māori editor are still open! They will be a proficient writer and editor who is responsible for overseeing the Māori content in Salient. They will also need to regularly produce written content. This is an exciting new position on staff for 8 hours a week. The ideal candidate will have a thorough understanding of te ao Māori and tikanga. To apply, send a CV, cover letter and writing portfolio to editor@salient.org.nz. Previous experience in writing and journalism is desirable, but not required.