Body | Issue 20 by Salient

Salient Issue 20

Body

Vol. 79

NICOLA YOUNG KEITH JOHNSON

NICK LEGGETT

HELENE RITCHIE

ANDY FOSTER JUSTIN LESTER JO COUGHLAN

JOHNNY OVERTON

THE GREAT FACE OFF MAYORAL DEBATE

14TH SEPTEMBER / 1PM IN THE HUB Hosted by RadioNZ local government reporter, Michael Cropp. Wellington mayoral candidates square oﬀ at the VUWSA and VUW Politics Society’s Mayoral Debate. Discussing Fairer Fares, Rental Warrant of Fitness, and more.

Your chance to ask those hard-hitting questions!

For more information visit vuwsa.org/mayoral-debate

FACULTY GAMES SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST 16 SEPTEMBER / 12PM - 4PM BOYD-WILSON FIELD REGISTER NOW

vuwsa.org/faculty-games

For more information visit vuwsa.org/faculty-games

Contents Features

Searching for a hands-free orgasm just made me angry and horny

Itchy

We demand choice over our bodies

Opinion 15

News

Diversity in university

Students speak up for fairer fares

VUWSA elections getting lit

Lester gets set to get wet

Regular Content 12

One Ocean

Notices

MÄ ori Matters

Food

Gee Mail

Visual Arts

VUWSA Exec

Music

Single Sad Postgrad

Film

Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Space

Games

Willy Wonka

Postgraduate Connection

Books

Being Well

Theatre

Brodie Helps You Figure It Out

Puzzles

Editors: Emma Hurley Jayne Mulligan

Editor's Letter how bits of our body wind up impacting our day to day, and draws out the slow burn of skin irritations. Charlie has delved into the world of trans healthcare; a world which is fraught with obstacles, a lack of institutional knowledge, and awkward misunderstandings of the trans-experience. Bronwyn has considered the ways in which some bodies can move around our university space without a second thought, and the ways in which some bodies are hindered. Our bodies show our stories—whatever colour, whatever complexion. There are scars, blemishes, rashes, birthmarks, age spots. The shapes and sizes that our bodies take on are both controlled and uncontrollable, they are forever celebrated across a dove ad and silenced in a lingerie ad. The idiosyncrasies of our bodies are never really tell-able: the way your knees are really knobbly, the way you fingers are double jointed, the way your legs stopped working, and the way your teeth grew crooked. Our bodies get broken and bent, they get scanned for secrets, and judged for their worth. We reveal our bodies to some and hide them from others. The rights to our bodies are challenged, from legal obstacles and medical restrictions to the day to day expectations of what one should and shouldn’t wear, do, and be. Our bodies aren’t just a thing we live in, they’re representative, they’re individual and universal. These bodies change, these bodies are defiant, these bodies are divergent, these bodies are ours. We are the sum of all of our parts and our body is part of the equation. Emma & Jayne xoxo

We’ve spent a bit of time this week looking through a few blogs that follow people’s journeys to body building competitions. The blog entries are full of fat tracing, carb shredding, and mentions of dizziness; of 1000 calorie consumptions, low energy, and all the extremes that make up the journey to drastically alter one’s shape and appearance. Their poses on competition days are unnatural, full of thigh tensing and parading around. They are extremely tanned, oompa loompa orange, or look like they bathed in turmeric. To see someone transform their body, to sculpt it into a muscular creation, is incredible. The perfection of their bodies is in a way grotesque, hyper-muscular, unreal. Bodybuilders exemplify the human drive to master the body, they embark on a gruelling exercise and diet plan, to preen and polish and starve and spray their way to someone’s idea of a ‘prize winning’ body. Bodybuilders are just one example of our bodies capacity to transform. Our bodies are morphing and growing. They are full of the potential for transformation, from gender to procreation to growth, our bodies negotiate them all. But our bodies can also entrap us, we grow and age, face disease and illness, recover from injury and live with disability. In this week’s issue, we have some incredible pieces. We’ve got a beloved writer Sharon Lam, returning once again, putting her body on the line for Salient. She explored the world of hands-free orgasms and, boy, what a world it was. This exploration is a very psychological (read: funny) exploration of the connection between body and mind. We also had an amazing team of Melbourne based talent who created a photo essay looking into the experience of eczema. The accompanying writing shows

Going Up

*Interview* with Tom Hiddleston

•

The amount of VUWSA election Facebook invites.

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UniQ’s Day of Silence.

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Narcos, season two.

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Eminem vs. the National Party—May 2017.

•

The library bar now including Rosebud cocktails in the 2-for-1 Wednesday deal.

How do you feel after breaking up with Taylor Swift? I felt like it was going to be forever, but now it’s gone down in flames. She told me it was over, and now I feel the pain. She had a long list of ex-lovers, which is insane! But she had a blank space, and she wrote my name. Why did you break up? Clause 4.7 in our relationship contract expired and we were no longer obligat— I mean… we just had busy schedules and we grew apart. Yeah. That’s it. What would you like the title of the song she’ll write about you to be called? I’d accept either “Lucky to have Loki” or “Tom-orrow’s Another Day”. What’s next for you? Going to go back to being a heartthrob and dominating all Tumblr girls’ fantasies. Kanye or Kendrick? Calvin Harris.

Going Down •

Realising the “week six slump” is a whole trimester slump.

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Ingrown toenails.

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Victoria University’s anti-union antics.

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Harambe memes.

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Trying to apply deodorant in a turtleneck.

Humdingers A woman in south Canterbury is claiming she has seen a black panther or puma roaming the plains. Similar claims of seeing such a beast were made in 2001, 2003, and 2005 in the same area. While residents are frightened, Sir Peter Jackson executives are excited about making The Jungle Book 2: Escape from Timaru.

A “randy” cat has been terrorising a Christchurch resident so much they wrote a hand-drawn note to its owner saying “no one in our house wants to have sex with you mr cat please go away.” While the identity of the author of the note remains unknown, it was probably philanthropist cat hater Gareth Morgan. 06

12.09.16

news@salient.org.nz

Students speak up for Fairer Fares

Apparently Winston cares about u

Students are another step closer to a 50% discount on public transport. At a community meeting held in Porirua last week, VUW students convinced previously non-voting Greater Wellington Regional Council (GRWC) councillor Jenny Brash to sign VUWSA’s Fairer Fares pledge. GWRC had previously voted down the discount 7-6. Brash agreed to sign the pledge on the condition that there is “no increase in fares for the families these students come from because they can’t afford it either.” The meeting was hosted by councillor Ken Laban and organised by first year student Ali Leota. It was attended by a number of regional councillors, campaigning candidates, and Porirua locals. Student speakers on the night included Māori studies student Ali Leota, Master of Architecture student Elyjana Roach, third year BCom student Sailema Samuelu, second year Law and Māori studies student Te Nia Matthews, and St. Patrick’s College deputy head boy Nathan Lopa. Leota told those in attendance the issue of fares needed to be “brought to the forefront,” because most students were “too scared to speak up.” With transport costing between $83 and $90 per week—depending on the tertiary institute a student is attending—he said the prospect of study for those experiencing hardship was “pretty daunting.” VUWSA President Jonathan Gee told councillors and candidates that students were looking to them for “some leadership and some support,” a theme echoed by all speakers on the night. VUWSA Welfare vice president Rory Lenihan-Ikin described Brash’s support as “massive.” “The last time Fairer Fares got voted on at council it lost 6-7, so assuming that the makeup of council doesn’t change after the election, this is the extra vote we needed to have a majority. It is also significant for the students of Porirua, who have a representative that finally understands why the cost of transport is seriously limiting their education opportunities.” Lenihan-Ikin said VUWSA will “continue to pursue commitments from candidates,” while also ensuring students “have the information they need to make their vote count for Fairer Fares.”

NZ First have announced a policy that would see tertiary students’ debt transferred into a “skills debt.” New Zealand First education spokesperson Tracey Martin said graduates would be able to earn off their “skills debt” by working in the country for the same amount of time they studied. Despite costing the taxpayer $4.6 billion, the policy would help clear what Martin described as the country’s “unsustainable” student loan debt. Martin cited the increase in depression and anxiety rates in young people, lower homeownership rates, and the number of educated kiwis moving overseas for better jobs as major concerns stemming from current student debt. The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations has welcomed the release of the Up Front Investment policy. President Linsey Higgins said, “we know Tracey and NZ First are committed to addressing the barriers that student loans create while balancing the obligation that graduates have to the country that has educated them.” VUWSA President Jonathan Gee said he believes the policy is “a smart idea to reduce to burden of debt on students.” “I’m sure many students will resonate with the idea, and it seems to go a step further than Andrew Little’s ideaslip on Salient FM a few weeks ago.” NZ First has not traditionally targeted the youth vote, instead being associated with policies aimed at senior citizens, such as the introduction of the SuperGold transport cards in October 2008. When asked whether he felt the policy was a ploy to attract the youth vote Gee told Salient, “There’s always politics going on, but I think it’s interesting that all three opposition parties now support some form of free tertiary education.” “It shows tertiary education will be firmly on the agenda for the 2017 Election.” Currently there is no active youth wing of New Zealand First, with the former NZ First Youth “president” Curwen Rolinson being charged with possession of cannabis for supply in 2015. Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce is dubious of the policy, saying it is unaffordable and would blow the country’s budget. Classic Steve. 07

Alex Feinson

Kate Robertson

News

Counting on change

VUWSA elections getting lit

Over 400 people attended the recent Social Movements, Resistance, and Social Change conference at Victoria University, hosted by Counterfutures journal. The three day conference saw panels and discussions from activists and academics, and the launch of leftwing think-tank Economic and Social Research Aotearoa (ESRA). Dr Dylan Taylor, one of the conference organisers, said he was thrilled by the success of the conference and saw it as a hint of a revival of the left. “The large turnout… and the hopeful and bold content of many of the papers presented, indicates that the country may be reaching a turning point.” “The history of Aotearoa shows that substantial social change is often spearheaded by vigorous social movement activity. We look set to see an increase in such activity in the years to come.” The opening session was a highlight for many in attendance and Moana Jackson, Dr Leonie Pihama, and Tere Harrison spoke. Harrison called out Victoria University for being complicit in the ongoing colonisation and confiscation of Māori land in relation to the sale of the Karori campus that is situated on Te Ati Awa land. The property, which the university bought from the government for $10 in 2014, has been put on the market for $20 million. Conference co-organiser Jonathan Oosterman stated: “The Social Movements, Resistance and Social Change conference calls on the university to recognise the completely despicable treatment of mana whenua, historically and in the present. We call on the university to return the land to Te Ati Awa and accept the koha of $10. We also call on all universities to fully recognise how these institutions benefit from colonisation.” ESRA launched to an audience of 200 people on the second night of the conference. It is the first left-wing think-tank in New Zealand and aims to renew the focus on issues of economics and social class within New Zealand, and challenge neoliberal capitalism. Project Coordinator Sue Bradford said ESRA “is about challenging the very structures of our society, very clearly grounded in economic and social and ecological justice and in a treaty and tino rangatiratanga kaupapa.” Dr Taylor said the diversity of conference participants served to challenge the idea that “the left in Aotearoa, and elsewhere, has supposedly been split between identity politics and redistributive / class-based politics.” “This split may not be as pronounced today as it supposedly was in the past.”

As the 2017 VUWSA elections edge closer, students are being treated (subjected?) to a score of ambitious policies, DIY banners, and idealism for what the coming year could hold. Academic Vice President Jacinta Gulasekharam, Welfare Vice President Rory Lenihan-Ikin, and president of the VUW Politics Students’ Society Lars Thompson are currently the only candidates running for the role of president. Thompson—who took over the Politics Society role after a period of instability within the club earlier this year—is campaigning for greater support for clubs and rep groups, for VUW and VUWSA to both be living wage employers by 2018, and a cap on international student fees. If elected, Lenihan-Ikin has said he will continue with the Fairer Fares campaign, advocate for student involvement in the fee setting process, free dinners across all campuses during Stress Free Study Week, and ongoing support for the Thursdays in Black campaign. At the time of print, Gulasekharam had announced just two of her three policies. The first will see packs of pads and tampons made available to people at all three campuses for just $2, with a possibility of moon cups being added to the mix. Gulasekharam’s second policy, in which she promised more student deals for events around Wellington, created the first online storm of the election period, following her declaration that “VUWSA doesn’t have to be political all the time.” “We can leave that to the local body politicians and political parties—that’s why I have chosen to remain apolitical and not join or campaign for any political party in my 20 years,” she said. Commenters were quick to criticise this stance, with one saying they were concerned about what the depoliticising of political issues could mean for students and the organisation. Gulasekharam promptly responded to commenters saying she will fully lay out over the coming week “what I stand for and who I am.” Current executive members Anya Maule and George Grainger will be seeking re-election, with Maule running for the role of Welfare Vice President, and Grainger seeking to retain his role as Treasurer. This year’s candidates forum will be held at 1pm, September 15, in the hub. Polling will take place September 20-22 online, and across all three campuses, with results being announced at 5pm on September 22. Salient cannot confirm whether there will be free pizza at either of these events.

Kate Robertson

Charlie Prout

12.09.16

Quiz

Lincoln Uni gets desperate

Answers on Page 46

What date does polling close for Wellington City Council local body elections?

2. What year was The Lion King released?

4. How much did Richie McCaw biopic Chasing Great gross during its opening weekend? 5. Which DJ graces this month’s cover of of British GQ? 6. What traditional feature has been dropped for the iPhone 7? 7. How many of the Bee Gees are still alive? 8. In what year did Hannah Montana air its last episode? 9. Where will Auckland’s Laneway Festival take place in 2017? 10. Which two films did Tom Hanks consecutively win Best Actor for at the Oscars?

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3. How many children does Laguna Beach and The Hills alum Kristin Cavallari have?

Lincoln University is reaching out to the private sector in the hope of remaining financially viable. The university has been in poor financial shape for a few years now, primarily as a result of the Canterbury earthquake, and last year reported a $6 million loss. The university has awarded Chinese tech giant Huawei Technologies a contract to deploy its flagship Agile Education Campus Network Solution to create a reliable, high bandwidth network, which will allow better internet connections for all users on the campus. They will be building a network larger than needed, creating space for future commercial partnerships. Although Lincoln currently doesn’t charge third parties for the use of their network, infrastructure manager Royston Boot says it is possible. An idea currently being floated by Lincoln’s vicechancellor Robin Pollard involves selling some of the university’s high value assets, going as far as to say “thousands” of hectares of farmland owned by the university are at risk. The university has also considered eliminating “unpopular courses” to cut costs. It is likely that the university will “collaborate” with other institutions both inside and outside of the academic space to cut costs. Tertiary Education Union organiser Cindy Doull says a full on merger with another university was also a possible option. Despite the university’s grim financial situation, Lincoln has received some positive news, jumping up 30 places in its latest QS World University rankings.

12.09.16

Students to be deported 150 Indian tertiary students are facing deportation after being scammed by an immigration agent. The prominent student visa immigration agent is known for aiding the visa applications of Indian students who wish to study in New Zealand. The Indian High Commissioner—who has already discussed immigration concerns with New Zealand authorities—finds it problematic to target the students for trusting the recommendations of their academic institution. “Action, if any, has to be against the concerned institutions, their agents, and responsibility fixed on those who failed to supervise the process and cleared the visas on the basis of documents presented,” he said. Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce remarked that “it’s actually the responsibility of the provider to ensure that they know who their agents are and that their agents are acting ethically and legally.” Immigration New Zealand has been tightening application approvals, with roughly 40% of applications from India being turned down. VUWSA President Jonathan Gee said “The system needs to have more of a heart for these students who have spent thousands yet have been duped.” Of the 125,000 international students currently studying in New Zealand, 60% of them use immigration agents.

Lincoln University’s Director of greater China, Jeff Sun, is proposing that New Zealand universities have the scope to take in at least 10,000 students a year. From July 2015 to July 2016 5804 Chinese students came to New Zealand to study, a number just over half of the projected target. Sun believes Chinese students typically come to New Zealand in higher numbers when the New Zealand dollar is relatively weak. The largest wave of Chinese students came between 2001 and 2002, while the dollar was relatively weak, when 20,000 students came to study in New Zealand. Lincoln University’s agricultural studies program has been a particularly popular destination for Chinese students, followed by IT and commerce programs across the country. Promoting New Zealand universities to Chinese students has been an aim of Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce since he was appointed to the position. Joyce has encouraged Chinese students to work and study here, with the hope that the New Zealand economy will grow by around $5 billion by 2025.

State housing shortage

Wellington mayoral candidate Justin Lester has announced a policy to establish “wet house” facilities for the homeless of Wellington. Wet houses are residential facilities for people in need to go and sleep, drink, and eat instead of living on the street. A wet house can provide optional rehabilitation and counselling programs. The policy is a joint effort between Lester and other Labour candidates for local body councils across the Wellington region—Paul Eagle, Brian Dawson, and Lynda McGregor. In 2009, a proposal to establish a wet house in Island Bay fell through due to an opposition by residents and lack of funding. If Lester is elected mayor, the wet house would be the first in New Zealand. Lester said he plans to establish a 30-40 bed “hostellike environment,” that provides long term accommodation and access to rehabilitation and counselling services available in Wellington. The policy has support from Stephanie McIntyre, director of the Downtown Community Ministry—one of the primary providers of help for Wellington’s homeless. McIntyre said the policy was “an innovative solution to a long term problem.” Wet houses have been effective in the US, Canada, and Australia in reducing alcoholism and getting homeless people into the right rehabilitation treatment.

Hundreds of Housing New Zealand state houses in the Wellington region are empty, despite hundreds of people being on waiting lists. Across Lower Hutt, Wellington City, and Porirua 486 state houses are sitting empty due to the need for earthquake strengthening, methamphetamine contamination, and “pending sales.” 523 people are currently on the waitlist for state houses to become available. While Housing New Zealand says the number of vacant properties is only a small percentage of its national stock of over 64,000 houses, Salvation Army policy analyst Allan Johnson said the properties are being kept empty in order for them to be sold. Bill English, the Minister responsible for Housing New Zealand, has been overseas but his office said the houses are only being sold if they are not needed, and added that they are planning on building 2000 new state houses over the next two years. “Housing NZ reinvests the proceeds of sales to build new homes in areas of high demand like Auckland.” Labour housing spokesperson Phil Twyford said that leaving state houses empty during a time where rates of homelessness are increasing is unacceptable. “It’s incompetent and callous to allow so many state houses to lie empty when there are so many families desperate for a roof over their heads.” 10

Katy Groom

Alex Feinson

Lester Gets Set to Get Wet

Alexa Zelensky

Alex Feinson

Room for more students from China

Study English, Film, Theatre or Media Apply Now to Study in Trimester 3 from November to February 14 Nov - 23 Dec 2016 FHSS 101: SPECIAL TOPIC: READING AND WRITING POETRY An introduction to between 50 and 100 poems by poets ranging from Shakespeare to Anne Carson. Students will also be introduced to some of the best critical readings on individual poems, and selected essays by leading poetry critics. FILM 101: INTRODUCTION TO FILM ANALYSIS This course examines how cinema creates meaning through formal elements such as narrative, miseen-scene, cinematography, sound and editing. It introduces students to key concepts and terms in Film Studies. MDIA 201: MEDIA IN AOTEAROA NEW ZEALAND The course explores the media industries in Aotearoa New Zealand through a series of case studies, including television, radio, newspapers, telecommunications, and film. These are discussed in terms of how ownership, regulation, funding/ revenue, cultural norms and technological convergence affect media practices.

THEA 221: SPECIAL TOPIC: TALKING ABOUT THEATRE - CRITIQUING LIVE PERFORMANCE Students will discuss, critique and articulate the experience of live theatre. They will analyse theatre productions in performance, discovering the different ways that performance elements create meaning for the audience.

09 Jan - 19 Feb 2017 ENGL 228: SPECIAL TOPIC: CHILDREN’S FANTASY The course introduces the study of children’s literature through a selection of texts in a single genre, fantasy, by a range of recognised authors normally including a New Zealand writer. We will also be looking at critical material relating to this genre. MDIA 103: POPULAR MEDIA CULTURE This course is an introduction to the study of popular media culture, with reference to the relationship between cultural theory and selected popular media forms. The course centres on critically examining the production and consumption of popular media culture.

victoria.ac.nz/apply

One Ocean Maori Matters

Laura Toailoa

Raimona Tapiata

“Oka se Laura!”* is not exactly what I want to hear whenever I go back to Samoa. But Samoan adults have that passive aggressive humour down pat, coupled with the monopoly of unquestioned authority, so I just awkwardly laugh while fighting the urge to cover my ridiculed body. ‘Ridicule’ is a strong word Laura, they didn’t mean it like that. Eh! Don’t take it so seriously / personally, they’re just having a laugh. They mock everyone. Okay, it’s kind of funny the first time. It’s a little awkward for the second time, but I’ll fake a chuckle for the sake of social cohesion. But when it’s a sentiment you’ve heard since before puberty… the novelty of the joke is well and truly worn off. It hurts most when these ‘jokes’ come from the people you thought are the ones to build you up to face the Big Bad World; even worse when it’s not a joke. Hearing the words “you’re so fat” from people who love you is a hard fucking thing to take in. I find it hard to ignore the opinions of random guys at the bar, petty acquaintances, and strangers on the internet. So hearing this from people I hold so dearly in my heart stings in a way that those other le kaulia (inconsequential) people never could. My sister once tried to translate what I saw as cruel, as a message of loving concern. She told me what they mean to say is: you’re not a healthy size and I’m worried about you and I don’t want you to get diabetes type B, but I don’t know how to show my concern in a way that exposes my own emotional vulnerability so I’ll be cold and distant and sometimes comedic about it. I want to help you and I don’t know how. I want you to find the answers yourself, and I don’t want you to go down the road I did. It’s been a long and painful road learning to love my body. Reaching a point where I felt not only comfortable, but good in short dresses and skirts was such a triumph for me. However I’m not proud of my body in the sense that I think other people should aspire to it, or that I should remain this way. But I’m learning to love it as it is right now, as a foundation to finding ways to care for it in the ways it needs. *This would technically translate to, “what a Laura!” But in this case, it refers to the shock of how much weight I’d gain since the last time they saw me (never mind if I was eight years old…).

Whakairihia ko ‘te tinana’ ki paetara hei wetewete, hei wāwāhi mā te hirikapo. Ko te tinana ka hono nei ki a hinengaro, ki a wairua kia hau mai ko te ira o te tangata me ōna, mana, tapu, ihi, aha atu, aha atu. Ko te tinana te waka kawe i a tātou, o tātou wairua, whakaaro i ngā wai karekare o te ao hurihuri. Me te pakari anō hoki o te waka nei. I ngā wiki kua taha ake, kua kitea te taumata ka taea e te tinana. Ko ngā taumāhekeheke o te ao tērā e whakaatu ana i te tino tihi o te maunga o te tinana pakari, te tinana kua whakairohia kia autāia te tū ki te mura o te ahi, ki te papa tākaro o whakataetae. Hēoti, he taumata anō ka tāea ki te panaia ko te tinana kia whai i tā te whatumanawa, i tā te wairua whai. Ki te pakari te hinengaro, ki te muramura mai te hiahia, ki te tika te haere ka whai mai ko tinana pakari. Ko Te Huinga Tauira ki Pōneke 2016 te tauira o tēnei pahupahu, arā, ko te mahi kawea e ngā kaimahi. Ka whakaeke mai ko te tini o tauira Māori ki Pōneke, mo Huinga te take, ā, nā Ngai Tauira te mana whenua i te tau nei. Pō te ao, ao te pō, ko ngā kaimahi ērā e ātā muramura ana i te ahi o te kauta, e whakamahana ana i ngā paetara o wharemoe, e whakariterite ana i ngā whakahaerenga whakahirahira mo te hui. Ko Ngai Tauira, ko Te Herenga Waka, otirā ngā rōpū katoa e hāpai ana, ā, ko ringa ka raupa mai, ko ihu ka ruku hohonu ki te one, waihoki ka whati ko tuara, ka mamae ko te tinana. Mīharo katoa ahau ki ngā mahi i mahia mo te mōhio hoki i whati katoa a tinana ki te nuinga o te hunga hāpai ō. Heoi, nā te ū ki te kaupapa o te hui, ki ngā tikanga a kui mā, a koro mā, ka pania a tinana ki taumata kē atu. Ka parea ko mamae ki rāhaki, ka mū a tohe, a amu, ā, ka kawea te tinana kia ū ai ko kaupapa ki uta. Kei uta anō hoki te whiu, tau ana!

Gee-mail

VUWSA Exec

Jonathan Gee VUWSA President

Alice Lyall Campaigns Officer

Unless, like me, you’re an electoral systems nerd, you probably haven’t come across the Single Transferable Vote (STV) system before. STV is used in Wellington local body elections. To explain how it works I employ this long-winded analogy: My friends and I were divided after purchasing four bargain bin DVDs from the Warehouse. Just what cinematic masterpiece were we to watch first? To determine, we used an STV system.

Most of you won’t remember a time when we didn’t have the hub. Its predecessor, the quad, was an ugly, wet, and windy place (I did a Google image search and there were hardly any pictures of it—obvs trying to write it out of history…). In 2013, the hub was created to be the ‘heart’ of the campus. With the VUWSA Trust contributing $12 million (VUW’s largest single donation), VUWSA aimed to ensure students were at the heart of the hub project. Today it’s a bustling place, with heaps of student-friendly spaces, largely thanks to the partnership between the university and the VUWSA Trust on the redevelopment project. The hub has also become the heart of debate and the contest of ideas. From political debates to VUWSA’s general meetings, the hub reminds us that as a university community we should be acting as the critic and conscience of society. This week we continue to make the hub the heart of debate, with Wednesday’s Mayoral Debate at 1pm. The Mayoral Debate is your chance to hear whether candidates support a city that values students, and whether they support our vision for a Student Friendly Wellington. Let’s pack out the hub to show candidates that students care about this city. And… we take over the hub again on Thursday, with the VUWSA Candidates Forum for those who are running in the upcoming executive elections. VUWSA is a crucial part of ensuring a powerful student voice at Vic and in Wellington, so make sure you attend to hear from the candidates and question them on how they plan to get the best deal for you. So remember to get engaged this week and participate in one (or all) of our upcoming events in your Hub. Let’s reaffirm this space as the heart of debate in our university community.

STV Rule One: Rank your top preference first Of all the movies, I really wanted to watch a fantastic film called Pop Star Puppy where a small child’s dog was able to sing and compete on an American Idol knockoff. I ranked it number one, so it that had the largest proportion of my votes. STV Rule Two: Rank candidates in descending order in preference My second favourite was Bark Ranger a movie about a park ranger dog (I was clearly keen for a talking dog movie). This movie received number two. After that was A Horse for Summer, a terrible-looking horse movie, which fell into third place. STV Rule Three: If you really don’t want a candidate to be elected, don’t give them a number at all Lastly we had Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Two of my friends wanted to watch this, but I felt I’d rather eat plastic. So I didn’t give it a number; therefore, it received no votes from me at all. This strategy succeeded (thank god). In the final wash up Pop Star Puppy won, as it had the highest number of first and second preferences. Meaning that second preferences are important too! I hope this explains STV to you a little more clearly. If not, there are lots of resources online which I encourage you to look at. Good luck voting!

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CHECK YOUR EMAIL Launching Tuesday 13 September

Diversity in university

Opinion

Bronwyn Curtis

Her electric wheelchair has headlights and indicators. It begins to change before my eyes, “you push the button and pull the joystick forward, and it goes into the standing position.” One of her friends jokes that she is an actual Transformer. There are different types of cerebral palsy—her type means restricted movement of all four limbs. But when she transforms the chair into the upright position, she can give her mum a proper hug. I’ve never had to think too much about what it would be like to be a disabled university student. Sometimes, when I use a disabled toilet on campus, I worry that when I open the door I’ll be faced with a scowling girl in a wheelchair who I’ve made wait. Sometimes I see ramps on campus and think that it’s cool that we cater to disabled students. Passing thoughts. That’s like the actual definition of privilege—not having to think about the advantages that you’re lucky enough to have. I ask this girl whether she thinks that Victoria is a diverse university, and she says “to a certain degree, yes.” I’m not sure whether the pun was intended. She says that generally the university has turned out to be more supportive than she expected. Disability services gives disabled students a voice and presence in our community, and are really accommodating: “If you go around the uni and you find a door that is too hard to open, all you have to do is tell them, and they will see if they can get it automated.” She particularly appreciates having reader-writers because she physically can’t handwrite the way that other students can. On Kelburn campus there is also the disability room, which allows her to meet other disabled students, of which there are many. Dyslexia, ADHD, hearing impairments. Physical and mental. Visible and invisible. Here, older students helpfully pass on advice: “study tips or an easier access to a certain room, or just general tips on how to make uni life easier.” Being able to connect with others like yourself allows people to say “you know what, I’ve experienced that too, I understand how you’re feeling and you’re not alone… and sometimes all you need is that understanding,” she says. I remember a debate that I had with a friend a few years ago. I argued that rooms reserved for only a certain type of person are a bad idea because they encourage separation rather than inclusion. I would’ve said that a room for only disabled students serves to set that group apart, to highlight a distinction between ‘them’ and ‘us’. After talking to students who use these sorts of rooms, I see the value in being able to bond with others with shared experiences. Safe spaces give minority groups a place where acceptance and understanding are guaranteed. Other students can be accepting and understanding too, of course. She says that most people at Vic are really good, “if I drop my book, someone will pick it up, y’know.” Most don’t ask about her wheelchair, presumably because they don’t want to be rude. “I personally don’t have an issue with it, if people want to know my story then I am more than happy to let them know.” She appreciates conversation more than being stared at. “I’m not a scary person; I’m a nice person. If you want to come up to me and say hello, do that, don’t be scared that I’m like, gonna run you over… do they not know how much trouble I would get in if I just went around running over everybody in the university?” Although she appreciates that our university is generally supportive, there’s room for improvement. She mentions that when her reader-writer once forgot to show up to her exam, she couldn’t sit the exam until weeks later. There could also be more disability desks—each room only has the capacity for one student in a wheelchair, and she wonders what would happen if one of her classmates broke their leg and ended up in a wheelchair. As it turns out there’s more to accessibility than just having ramps. There are day to day challenges with navigating crowds and waiting for someone to open a door when her hands are full. There’s a lot of patience involved: “if a lift is broken, for example, I have to wait until it’s fixed in order to get up to that particular class.” For me, it would mean having to take the stairs. The same issues have different consequences for people because we’re not on a level playing field. Our university has a scholarship for NCEA merit-endorsement students with financial hardship or disabilities, to make things fairer. She received five thousand dollars toward hostel fees, which enabled her to afford university. If not for that scholarship we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Having diverse people at university makes it a better place. We learn so much from talking to people who are different to ourselves; all too easily this place could turn into an elitist echochamber of like-minded and like-bodied students. So, yeah, affirmative action and scholarships have flaws, but the possibilities that they create are more important. They’ve enabled this (optimus) prime person to be at university, making sarcastic comments, watching Game of Thrones, and knowing her mind. 15

How quaint! Orgasms that don’t require any physical touch I clicked on the most popular of the have long been discussed in department store videos. The hypnosis began to work as I found myself hunched over in a deep whispers. First comes salad, then comes yoga, sleep. Once under, the hypnotist began then come orgasmic meditation workshops. Is mentioning arousal, and I felt a small definite fuzzy feeling in my crotch there any truth to these fully clothed, hands-free but area. The hypnosis then intensified, orgasms, or are they just another fad popularised and the hypnotist instructed that he would click his fingers, and with each by people who have a bit more time and a bit click this feeling would increase. The more money than most? first few clicks seemed to work and the fuzzy crotch feeling grew. But there was Some of the supposed touch-free ways that something that was nagging from the second he mentioned arousal. It was cumming could come about include focused voice. He was sounding increasingly breathing, stretching pelvic floor muscles, or just his creepy. The clicking stopped working pure willpower. Like a lot of trendy surface-value- and at the mention of the so very erotic phrase “feels so very amazing,” the valid ideas, there is somewhat of a scientific fuzziness disappeared completely. As it turns out, I am shallow even when in a backing. Whether an orgasm is mentally or deep trance. genitally stimulated, the same parts of the brain Having discovered this Achilles heel, I decided to try once more, and light up, according to the author of The Science after a long search I finally found a ‘hot’ of Orgasm. But while the participants in this sounding hypnotist. This video specified to lie down on your back, and as a result research (who by the way, all had spinal cord this attempt didn’t work either, as I just injuries—furthering evidence of a totally new fell asleep and woke up 13 hours later at noon the next day. orgasmic pathway) were either naturally able or guided by experts to mentally orgasm, the real Thinking yourself off question is can your average layperson do the same? And how? I attempted to find out. This seemed the most insanely

Searching for a hands-free orgasm just made me angry and horny

Sharon Lam

Hypnosis This was the method I felt the most hopeful about. If I was going to scream my own name, it was going to be in an altered state of consciousness. I already knew I was susceptible to hypnosis. I recalled a hypnosis video for uncontrollable laughing that had me in tears while a less compliant friend looked at me strangely, and just the other day Derren Brown had stuck me to my seat through subliminal messaging (during which I prayed that I would be released before my out of reach laptop ran out of battery—#justlivingalonethings). So I returned to the same YouTube channel that had hypnotised me to laugh and laughed again upon discovering that hypnosis for hands free orgasms made up three of their top five most watched videos. Collectively they had over nine million views—nine million instances of individuals all over the world hoping to hypnotise themselves to orgasm!

impossible, seeing as it’s pretty much just breathing through your mouth and thinking about your genitals. Yet there are many proponents of this phenomenon, including Lady Gaga, and tantric workshops have proven popular in big cities overseas. Perhaps thankfully, I found little on current workshops in Wellington. These are also usually targeted at couples and not single people going through a dry spell who think it’d be funny to try. So again, Youtube would be my guide. As it turns out, there are a whole lot of white women in loose pants seated in lush domestic settings on Youtube ready to help. These stereotypical Marie Claire sensual goddesses liltingly speak of achieving orgasm just through breathing to ‘activate your chakras’. “Energy orgasms,” “tantric sexual breathing,” “thinking off”—it all seemed like a lot of hoohah. I watched a few videos of people supposedly experiencing one of these orgasms to see what I could expect—the comments beneath said it all: “That’s demon possession not orgasm” and “I feel like I just watched an art school reinterpretation of The Exorcist.”

Orgasm or exorcism, I was keen for either. It was time to try these video exercises for myself. “Orgasmic Meditation—Step by Step Instructions” and “How to Come By Just Thinking About It” had an accessible DIY friendliness and casualness to them. And unlike a conventional penis-assisted orgasm, I was spoilt for choice! I followed a few different videos, though all had a common methodology: a deep breath in through your open mouth (one instructor related a relaxed open jaw to relaxed open genitals), taking this breath down towards your genital area, and then breathing “out” through your vagina or penis (which seems like a questionable party trick at best). Variable instructions included “squeezing your uterus” (with the additional step: “men, pretend you have a uterus”) and then “letting it flow down the front” (still not sure what “it” refers to), and visualising orbs of lights, gems, and ocean waves (surprisingly no mention of Tom Hardy). My first attempt was straightforward seated huffing and puffing, which got me nowhere at all. Yet the more I tried and the more I failed the more I was determined to orgasm. What did these women have that I didn’t? My pants were just as loose as theirs and I had just as much, if not more, free time as them. So why couldn’t I also make myself thrash about as if possessed by an invisible peen? My second attempt was using a method called “ocean breathing,” which involved straddling a cushion and gyrating much in the same way ocean waves gyrate. This video even suggested doing it in front of a mirror to turn yourself on even more. I can tell you now that there was absolutely nothing arousing about the reflection of myself angrily grinding a pillow and gulping like a fish out of water. Definitely no orgasm and not even a kick from dry humping an inanimate object. What a glamourous point in my life as a bachelorette. In a last ditch effort I lay down instead of sitting. I didn’t follow a video directly but relied on the collective newfound knowledge the selforgasming Youtube community had given me. I breathed in and out heavily, hoping it was my vagina that was doing it. Probably out of desperation, I found my breathing starting to sound quite sexual. I didn’t think anything of it and kept going until I actually began to feel something down in my yoni (I was told by a lovely white Australian woman in a

bindi that ‘yoni’ is Sanskrit for vagina). I kept breathing intensely until I realised why this felt familiar— I was faking my own orgasm. I was so eager to not disappoint myself that I was trying to fake it till I could make it. Weirdly it was sort of working until I broke the spell by realising I was just pretending. Still, I enjoyed staying the night with myself anyway and even had breakfast made for me by me the next morning, so I guess it wasn’t the worst faked orgasm ever.

The Yogasm Yogasms are what they sound like— orgasms that appear during yoga practice, and quite often out of the blue in regular, non-tantric, non-sexually focused, plain vanilla yoga. The poses that I would do were listed in a credible sounding article called “Yogasms Are Real and This is How You Have One”. I began by unrolling the $10 warehouse yoga mat that I bought more as a prop for guests to stumble upon and think of me as fit and flexible.It listed several poses—pigeon, passive hip opening, the happy baby, and the squat. Together they sounded like an odd street gang. First, the passive hip opening—lying on your back, right leg on left leg’s knee, holding right ankle in the air. I felt a nice stretch but not winky-face-nice. Next I moved on to the happy baby. Still on my back, this pose was simply holding both feet in the air, pulling your knees towards your armpits, and exhaling and inhaling as you entered and exited the pose. It felt like an unflattering sex position and did nothing except highlight my lack of sex life and lack of orgasm. The penultimate position, the pigeon pose, was one I was familiar with from that one time I went to yoga, and remembered it being what yogis call a “very deep stretch.” It once again was, but only a platonic very deep stretch. I looked at the final position, a low squat, did it for about three seconds, knew it was going nowhere, and stopped.

The female wet dream Female wet dreams are just as real and as variably experienced as male wet dreams; though, since there is little secreted evidence, many women sleep through nocturnal orgasms without even knowing they’ve had one. So for most, waking to post-coital pleasure and faint

imagery of a dream lover remains an occasional treat. Yet of all the methods listed, this is the only one I’d previously experienced and can stand by as actually working. Sadly they’re pretty muchimpossible to summon on demand—no-one would ever go outside if they knew they could nap and have REM sex with whichever Jonas Brother they wanted. Still, it didn’t stop me from trying. Before bed each night I actively went about imprinting erotic imagery into my thoughts. Since I was really feeling the Olympic spirit, this involved stalking athletes’ Instagrams before drifting off to sleep, imagining the weight of a male Olympic swimmer’s body lying on top of mine. I even upped my cheese intake a few nights. But alas, it was a week of G-rated dreams, the most notable thing being a cameo by Courteney Cox. She was lovely. At the end of the week I was not surprised it didn’t work at all. In a way I’m glad it didn’t. Some things have always been out of human control—forces of nature, dreams, fate. I didn’t want to interfere too much for fear I anger that which we do not know—I might never be gifted my dream sex dream of Atonement era James McAvoy…

Like a child wanting Santa Claus to be real, I desperately wanted a handsfree orgasm to be real. And perhaps they are, but not for me. Just like love! Haha…. And also like love, the search for a hands-free orgasm had just made me angry and horny. The extra attention I had given to my ‘yoni’ and brief flutters it had felt just gave me female blue balls, while my failure to achieve a mental orgasm had left me feeling left out. The community I’d discovered of self-proclaimed, self-orgasming women, whether they were all faking it or not, became yet another group I couldn’t be part of. One had said that mastering this skill would let you “ride the waves of pleasure instead of chasing an orgasm,” yet all these experiments were me explicitly chasing an orgasm in the most pathetic way possible. So until I find myself able to magically breathe out of my vagina, I will stick to the tried and true.

~ They always covered up the parts they hated most. Stretch-marked thighs and blemished skin, but now they had a bigger problem. It started as a pimple just above their belly button. Overnight it multiplied and darkened. So they told no one and drew a line around the patch of miscellaneous rash, hoping to track its every move. After it conquered the stomach it turned to the chest. Panic came in short breaths. They frequented the bathroom to look at the foreign body and occasionally scratch it. Paranoia reasoned…………. This could be deadly, or contagious. So they booked an appointment with Google Doctor. The search was “dark red rash on stomach.” The results were distressing. Images of worst-case scenarios—pus wounds, dengue fever, ringworm. Overwhelmed by the amount of graphic close ups of afflictions that could be theirs. Terrified at the thought that this might not only be permanent but could eventually inhabit every part of their body. The urge to peel off their skin and run away was very real.

Itchy.

Credits:

Art direction and styling by Kate Baxter and Emilie Marschner. Photographed by Lekk Porter. Writing by Emilie Marschner. Thanks to Jac, Molly, Emma, and Eden.

~~ Dressing up used to be the highlight of the night, now it felt like facing work on a Monday. Red flecks and white scabs was not the aesthetic they were going for. This narrowed the range of options. No mesh, no singlets, no white at all in case the weepy skin bled through. The second look was good, colours matched and their butt looked peachy, but they couldn’t get the image out of their head— A cutie walks past in the club, eyes on them, until they see the arms and shoulders spread with dollar-sized rings of scratched up skin and sidles away into the crowd of people getting down to Rihanna— So they played it safe with a long-sleeve and a pair of old Jordans. Friends asked how their day was. Itchy. It was all they could think about. Conversations rolled into the next as they fought the urge to stick their hand down their pants and scratch like a fucking maniac. Raw… so that pricks of blood soaked through the fabric and dried black. The relief, tinged with a mild pain, was satisfying enough that it took priority over seeing friends, or getting another beer. The doctor prescribed steroids; the naturopath, more vegetables. No real answers, just half-assed treatments wasting money. 20

~~~ The uber arrived with the anxiety. They knew it would be awkward, that moment, when all the clothes were gone and they stood staring at each other. Ready to explain the red blotches on their neck that spread out like continents on a map.

“You can’t catch it from me don’t worry.” The thirty-second pause as the other person decides whether they still want to have sex lets the doubt seep in… maybe if they bang from behind so they don’t have to look at each other? If only they were drunk enough that they didn’t care, but then they wouldn’t remember either. The birthmark flares up when they are nervous. They are definitely nervous. But no more or less than the last time they had to drunkenly explain it to someone else they wanted to fuck. The other person moves towards the door, closes it and turns back. The light stays on as they pull and scratch each other closer. They stroke the birthmark, “it’s actually kind of beautiful.” 23

Jos hallway + my painting Yvette Velvin y.velvin@gmail.com

Send your art submission to designer@salient.org.nz and be in to win a $100 Gordon Harris voucher.

WE DEMAND CHOICE OVER OUR BODIES

CHARLIE PROUT

When the media talk about transgender people the discussion will often focus on genitals. The question “have you had the surgery” regularly comes up. But it is not that simple. Not all transgender people wish to medically transition; some people only want certain procedures and this does not make them any less trans. Medical transition is a long, nonlinear, and complicated process—a process which is different for every trans person. While awareness is growing about transgender issues, there are still obstacles that limit transgender people’s access to treatments to relieve gender dysphoria and medically transition to the gender they identify with. The current system in New Zealand is full of barriers: the lack of understanding and institutional knowledge, the allowance for doctors to determine whether an individual is trans and whether they are suffering gender dysphoria, as well as a lack of formal policy guidelines. While the awareness of trans issues continues to grow, access to trans healthcare (including hormones and various surgeries) is not getting any easier.

(T), which can either be taken in pill form or in three injectable forms. T causes body and facial hair growth, the deepening of the voice, higher sex drive, growth of clitoris, fat redistribution, and an increase of muscle mass. It is important to remember that T is not a contraceptive and trans masc people can still get pregnant if they are engaging in “vaginal” sex. Trans feminine people are prescribed estrogen pills and testosterone blockers. The effects of these hormones are weight redistribution, breast development, decrease in body hair, and softer skin. In Wellington, ultimately, it is the decision of the endocrinologist whether or not to prescribe hormones. They determine, with the help of the patient’s GP and psychologists, whether the person is trans and whether they have enough support to undergo a medical transition. A psychological assessment is mandatory for all those seeking medical transitions to determine if someone

Currently there are 174 transgender patients within the Wellington region and numbers continue to grow. The medical transition process falls into two areas: hormone treatment and surgery. In order for a transgender person to gain access to hormone treatment a GP or mental health professional refers them to the endocrine and diabetes clinics at Wellington hospital. In New Zealand, hormone treatment is covered by individual DHBs such as Wellington’s Capital and Coast District Health Board (CCDHB), and every DHB is different. Endocrinologists are doctors who specialise in the endocrine system, which is the term for the collection of glands that produce hormones which control metabolism, growth, sexual function, etc., as well as controlling secondary sex characteristics. These hormones are funded in multiple forms in New Zealand by Pharmac. Trans masculine people are prescribed testosterone

While many primary care centres have limited knowledge of transgender people, this is not reflexive of all GP practices. Evolve, a Wellington youth health and counselling service, is commonly seen as the leader in support for transgender people. Aiden is a 20-year-old transgender student who is a patient of Evolve and they explained their experience with the service. “I changed to a GP at Evolve before I started transition. My GP knew the right people to talk to for me to transition medically, but I’m not sure if he knew the process well himself. He referred me quickly to Mani Bruce Mitchell [an intersex activist and counsellor who specializes in helping gender diverse people] who got me in touch with an endocrinologist.” Aiden went on to say: “My endocrinologist asked me about why I wanted to transition, if I understood all the implications of starting hormones, and if I had supportive friends and family. I’m not sure that it was necessary, but I also got a letter sent through from a counsellor at Evolve. After this, [the endocrinologist] was happy to start me on testosterone. Because I was young, I started on a very low dose and have built up very gradually. I’ve just been contacted about seeing a psychologist at the hospital retrospectively. This is becoming a required check for trans people starting transition.” While it is difficult to access hormone treatment, there are further obstacles for transgender people who are looking to undertake gender reassignment surgery. Currently the CCDHB does not fund any surgery to relieve gender dysphoria such as chest reconstructive surgery, facial feminisation surgery, or gender reassignment surgery. The Ministry of Health funds four lower surgeries every two years: one for female to male surgery (ftms) and three male to female surgery (mtfs). However this does not meet demand with 71 mtfs and 17 ftms currently on the waiting list. If the ministry continues to fund only four surgeries every two years, those on the bottom of the waiting list could be waiting many years of their lives before gaining access to funded lower surgery. The inaccessibility of funding for trans people means those who are able to may pay out of pocket for surgery, either within New Zealand or overseas. While there is limited access to support and medical services for transgender people, there are many who are advocating for change. The Sex and Gender Diverse Health and Outcomes Working Group (SGDHOWG), which is made up of transgender activists and doctors, are working to improve trans people’s access to health care. Cathy Stephenson, a Wellington based GP and member of the SGDHOWG, believes that in order to improve transgender healthcare medical professionals need to be educated about the needs of transgender people. Dr Stephenson described the current state of transgender health care as disgraceful and believes there should be an “upskilling of medical professionals across the board, so if they do not know how to treat a transgender person they know at least where to send them.” Dr Stephenson believes that local DHBs or the Ministry of Health should create funding in order to provide training and support

is experiencing gender dysphoria or mental illness, regardless of the prior state of the person’s mental health. The psychologist’s assessment, the GP’s assessment, all factor into the ultimate decision made by the endocrinologist. So that’s the process to access care; a string of consultations and appointments, checking that you fill certain ‘roles’ of the trans experience. However one of the major issues transgender people are faced with is the lack of knowledge and policy within medical institutions. Often GPs and primary care professions have never encountered a trans person before and are unsure about the procedure. This results in transgender people either having to educate their doctors, or being unable to go forward with their transition because they aren’t able to access the information, let alone the treatments. Alex, a 20 year old non-binary person, has experienced the effects of a lack of policy while attempting to access trans medical care. Like many trans people they were met with ignorance from medical professionals when discussing medical transition. Initially they felt that they had to lie to their GP in order to gain access to treatment. “I told him that I was trans instead of non-binary because I didn’t want to jeopardise my chances of getting a referral [to the endocrinologist].” Their GP told them “he had never known anyone who wanted to transition from female to male and that it was usually the other way around.” Alex’s GP “made it pretty clear that he had no idea what the transition process was,” but that he would refer Alex to the endocrinologist. These encounters did not improve with their appointment with an endocrinologist. The endocrinologist misgendered Alex and at one point told them “nonbinary people do not exist.” Alex said the experience of attempting to gain access to hormone treatment “was extremely awkward.” Alex felt as though they were “having to prove to him that I was trans enough” through a series of questions about gender identities and being non-binary. “He asked me when I last had my period and I told him I didn’t know / couldn’t remember. He said that was the correct answer and that transgender men are less likely to recall when they last menstruated.” There is no formalised process, what trans patients are getting is an ad-hoc assemblage of checks-andbalances that the medical profession can scrap together, to ensure they aren’t sending anyone through an unnecessary and unwanted procedure. The CCDHB were open about their lack of formal policy in regard to transgender patients in a response to an OIA request from Salient. A spokesperson for CCDHB stated that “currently CCDHB does not have formal policies” for transgender patients. They said that: “Patients with Gender Dysphoria are referred to the Endocrinology service by General Practitioners, Clinical Psychologists, and Psychiatrists as for all Endocrine patients. Teenagers or those with possible emotional difficulties are referred for a preliminary psychological or psychiatric opinion. Counselling services are requested from the primary or private sector when appropriate.” 28

“My endocrinologist asked me about why I wanted to transition, if I understood all the implications of starting hormones, and if I had supportive friends and family. I’m not sure that it was necessary, but I also got a letter sent through from a counsellor at Evolve. After this, [the endocrinologist] was happy to start me on testosterone.

for medical professionals to offer appropriate care for transgender people. The SGDHOWG aims to produce an informed consent model which would do away with the need for a mandatory psychological assessment. Currently the system requires a person to receive a diagnosis of gender identity disorder and this poses a barrier for trans people who want to access treatment, as they may not fit the exact diagnosis, but also because only one psychologist in Wellington is currently willing to diagnose trans people. “It is wrong to think that transgender people need to be treated by specialists, most of their care can be undertaken within primary care facilities,” Dr Stephenson said. The proposed model for trans health care is based on the notions of informed consent, and would see the patient and health care practitioner engage in a discussion about the proposed medical treatment, consequences, harms, benefits, risks, and alternatives. Informed consent would mean that it is the choice of the transgender person rather than the medical professional to decide whether a person is ready for hormone treatment. At a recent conference on social movements and social change at Victoria University, members of the SGDHOWG spoke on a panel. They outlined issues with the current system, what a best practice model would look like, and possible improvements for the health care of transgender people. Mani Bruce Mitchell stated: “We have a model and a system that is anchored in the past. It’s a pathologized medicalized model that was developed to respond to a fraction of the numbers of our community that are now coming forward seeking care and support from both our medical system and our broader community.” Mitchell added that “deficiencies are being exposed across the board… access to full care is highly dependent on people’s individual ability to pay privately for services including access to surgery.” Mitchell went on to say: “The trans, nonbinary, and intersex community deserves access to safe, respectful care from practitioners who have been trained and who understand diversity, minority stress, and intersectionality, and who can support each individual to live a happy and healthy life as the person they know themselves to be. Irrespective of any factors such as disability, their geographic location, financial status, their gender expression, culture, or mental health history, ability to self advocate, fluency with English, etc.” While the current state of healthcare for transgender people is causing much strife for many in the transgender community, the bright side is that activists and dedicated medical professionals are working to change it—it will get better.

If you are a trans person under 30 looking for information, local support, and resources visit tranzform at tranzform.org.nz.

Single Sad Postgrad Sharon Lam

Everybody Loves Dick

few people you’ll send a unicycling frog to at 2am. This transition is similar to the shift from passionate (the fiery honeymoon period of a romantic relationship) to compassionate love (farting comfortably in the presence of your partner). And this can be a great thing! When you reach the comfort level of comparing dicks and farting then you have really made a meaningful connection. Primary school sleepovers are the first exhibition of this, when you and your first generation BFFs play Truth or Dare. Eventually everyone picks truth and everyone asks in a singsong voice “who do youuu liiiike?” Except everyone wants the same thing—to talk about their own crush and have their friends say things like “omg Jack sooo likes you he let you borrow his pen.” This is the glowing side of the dick demise and why it endures—when the prospect of dick and reassuring friendship overlap, you feel very special. The other side is the isolating FOMO, of being dickless during a dick demise. Not only are you dickless, you end up essentially chickless. You’re left screaming “what happened to chicks before dicks” to absolutely no one, because everyone’s on a date or mid-orgasm. In life’s game of musical dicks it seems everyone found a dick to sit on except for you. But it’s okay. The music will stop again. And you’ll smile at whoever comes to join you by your side as you both say, “what a silly game!”

Everybody loves dick. Or so it seems that way, when all your friends are straight girls who think they’re in love or at least getting laid. Long-term dick, short-term dick, dick they’re trying to get, dick they’re trying to avoid. Yet I cannot relate to the fuck boi problems attached to said dicks because I’m only familiar with no bois. And as much as I love being told in great detail about how your boyfriend’s hair falls across his face, or how much sex everyone is having while cobwebs are being spun between my legs, one can only feign interest for so long. Have I transcended the shallow want of dick or is this just a defense mechanism for my dick rut? Am I pretending that I’m too good for dick? “Sorry Ashley, can’t get coffee with you and hear about all the mad dick you’re getting, I have to stay at home and read Maya Angelou,” I’ll say matter of factly. But what if they replace me with someone who doesn’t cry at the mention of dick while I’m at home crying over just why indeed the caged bird sings? So I posit the question: does one need dick to retain their chicks? What is happening is what I theorise as the inevitable “dick demise” that every friendship faces. Though close friendships in their formative days are often based on shared interests and ‘deep’ conversations, eventually they become secure enough to be safe havens for sharing ‘sillier’ things like dick and memes. There are only a

Willy Wonka Women's Space Bodies are bloody weird lil things that are also so great. Our bodies are these freaky lil machines that have the potential for so much pain, and so much pleasure—and sometimes, a beautiful symphony of the two. Knowing your body is just as important as knowing your mind. Knowing what you like and how you like it are two key ingredients to fun sexy times. It’s good to get a handle on how you like to masturbate, to know how you like your nipples pinched, or your balls cupped, to know what turns you on and knowing how fast and slow or mixed-up you like things. Not everyone has enough experience to know exactly what they like, especially without trying things first. You don’t know what you’re gonna love until you try it, but most of the time you get a pretty good idea of what you hate. And this changes. If you want something: ask for it. Too often it can feel like you’re being fucked by a loaf of bread. So take matters into your hands and tell your bonking-boos what you like and what you don’t like. And ALWAYS feel welcome to say no and GTFO.

Cole Hutchinson Like many others, the insecurities of my body are evident. Whether it is in my self-loathing tweets made in the early hours, or in the various scars physically evident on my body. They are all part of a long (and continuous) struggle of self-love. I can remember the exact moment I started to dislike my body. I was in primary school, around nine years old, and my mum had finally bought me this pleated, ankle length, grey skirt that I had always wanted to wear to class. It didn’t fit. I pinched my stomach and mimicked words I had heard my mother and aunty say in conversations where they did the same. “I need to go on a diet.” Looking back this was probably the first time I viewed my body as something separate to who I was. It wasn’t doing what I needed it to do. My body needed fixing. It was flawed. It was the start of an unhealthy decline into body dysmorphia. Since then I have put my body under immense stress and pressure. Constantly yo-yoing in weight, losing and gaining up to 20 kilos in a matter of months. I have hacked at my hair, had my skin tattooed, harmed myself, and constantly have varying bruises and new scars. Mental illness, combined with contracting bad habits, continuously negotiate how far I am willing to push my body. Minor instances such as staying up until 7am, or chain smoking whilst drinking with friends, start to take there toll. However nowadays when I see myself in a disappointing light, instead of remembering my peers, ex-lovers, and even strangers who have commented negatively on body, I try to imagine it as a landscape. Like the Port Hills: various bumps and mounds, contours with stretch marks running across them. My body is evidence of my history; it has the ability to change and adapt, and I am grateful for that.

Use noises: If you’re too shy, and don’t want to ruin the vibes with straight talking, then making noises really helps. Eg. moan / groan / grunt / scream-like-crazy if it’s good, and stay silent if it’s not doing the trick. You’ve got a moan-barometer. Use your hands / feet etc: If someone gets their hands or elbows involved where you’re not so keen for them to go, use yours to take theirs away. And lead with your hands—shove your crotch into their mouth if you want them to lick harder, grab their head if you want them to suck faster, and pull them in if you want them to fuck you harder. Conversely, if someone is doing something you really hate, stop. Just stop. Remove yourself and tell them why. Say Something: It’s all too easy to say “ugh I hate when you do that,” so try to avoid this. Being critical when you’re both splayed out, bits akimbo, fluids everywhere, is just too harsh. Not to mention a mood kill. But you know your body, so suggest something else. Ask for your partner to change rhythm, to go softer or hard, or to change position entirely. Use code words. Or use toys as a distraction technique, or to give them a hand.

Being Well

Postgraduate Connection

Cathy Stephenson

Marta Simonetti

I work as a GP at Student Health and have been privileged to meet an incredible, stimulating, and diverse range of students—people from all backgrounds, cultures, and ethnicities. I have also met a number of people who are gender diverse, who don’t identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. I can’t claim to truly understand what life must be like for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable with the expectations of a heteronormative society. But I can imagine, and have heard directly, that it can be very isolating. Feeling poorly understood must be a battle, but we can take some steps to ensure we are moving toward a truly accepting and supportive community: • Be kind and open-minded. Be mindful of your attitudes concerning people with gender nonconforming appearance or behavior, and encourage a community of acceptance. In the Youth 2012 study 17 per cent of secondary school students interviewed who identified as “transgender” were bullied at least once a week. Over half were afraid that someone at school might hurt them. As a country that prides itself on its gay, lesbian, and women’s rights history, we have a long way to go in terms of normalizing and accepting gender diversity. • Take time to think and learn about people with gender diversity. If you don’t know how to address someone, ask and they will let you know if he, she, or they is the pronoun they would prefer. It’s polite, like asking someone’s name when you’re introduced. • Be proactive. For the gender diverse community, there are simple, practical things that could be done to promote inclusivity, such as increasing the number of unisex toilets on campus, or enabling people to put their preferred gender on their identity card. Speaking out and advocating for these initiatives should be easy for us all. • Be supportive. There are high levels of self-harm, depression, and suicide amongst gender diverse youth. It is more difficult for them to access appropriate funded health care and support. We need to improve access to, and upskill and resource, the health sector so that the current barriers don’t exist. On an individual level being there for someone, offering to talk if you’re concerned about their well-being, or pointing them toward counselling or support services at Vic could make all the difference.

I hope that you all have had a great trimester so far. We’re in the second half and this is the last PGSA column of 2016. I would like to take the time to discuss the postgraduate ‘body’. One would hope that you, the postgraduate body, feel that you have exactly the same rights to support services as undergraduate students do (counselling, study skill sessions, etc.) VUW has support systems specifically in place for postgraduate students but you’d be surprised at how much “free money” and “free food” goes unclaimed every year. The PGSA actively tries to develop a sense of community for the postgraduate body. Take advantage of opportunities including events, conference grants, awards, and more (go to http://www. vuwpgsa.ac.nz for more information). Even if you’re not interested in the above, there are still ways to improve your education. You have a chance to consider how to be a more effective postgraduate, whether that's through smarter study, better networking, or another initiative. Some students can feel isolated—especially those undertaking their PhD and those who regularly sleep in their offices or undertake their course remotely. If you don’t create opportunities to chat with people engaged with study, you miss out on what has traditionally been a part of the postgraduate experience. Sometimes you may not like the people you have consistent face time with. Don’t be shy to ask to change your supervisors or office mates. This is your research, and you should pick the appropriate people that will help you reach your goals. Being a postgrad is all about being self-directed. No matter how many people you have around you, you’re the one doing the work. There’s pressure to deliver and you may feel that you should be working all of the time, but take the time to switch off and recharge. Quality is better than quantity (unless your worth is dictated on how many papers you have published). Check out the events below and recharge: Attend the Postgraduate Interactive Forum on September 28 at 4pm in SU217 / 218. Learn about new research that is happening at VUW and enjoy free pizza! The PGSA AGM is on October 3 at 12pm. Enjoy free pizza, learn about what the PGSA has been up to, and elect your new representatives.

Brodie Helps You Figure It Out

Token Cripple

Brodie Fraser

Henrietta Bollinger You’ve been down, maybe it’s just that you have to be close to the ground for the world to speak; so the things you hear don’t punch you any lower because there’s bound to be mud and blood and wormhalves down there.

A lot of my friends have been dealing with dudes who have totally misread their friendship as something romantic, and it’s frustrating to no end. As someone who is Really Queer™, I have very little experience in this field, so I’ve been asking the badass women in my life about how they deal with it. Here are a few examples they’ve given me.

Ever since I started ‘growing up’ there have been people teaching me to rebel against this body and sometimes I do. But that’s only when I forget to ask why. Why, they worry about the architecture of my soul when they built the stairs in my world.

The dog handler: You put your hand out, give a firm growl of “GET OUT OF IT.” He responds with his tail between his legs, probably calls you a bitch, and you don’t talk again. The ask: You ask him, point blank, if he’s interested in you. No matter the response, likely to be awkward—but this is probably the clearest option and will hopefully ~sort things out~.

Ever since I set about ‘growing up’ there have been people teaching me to rebel against this body and then you write to tell me I have wings.

The ghost: You get angry that men only see women as sex objects and ignore him. Your feminist ranting increases exponentially. He likely gets confused and sad, poor bub.

And some days, we ditch the chair behind a tree, let the metal beast sulk unseen. You on guard, I lower myself to all fours

The “we’re just friends”: You tell him “Oi mate, we’re just friends, I don’t want this.” He responds by denying any feelings, usually. This option, while solid, panders to the male ego a bit too much and gives them opportunity for denial. Which invariably makes you feel like you’re over-reacting a bit.

my arms— cave and though I sense you move there is no flurry of panicked, motherly limbs you wait to be asked. I fall to commando in the grass, arm, arm, drag legs deliciously wet, arm, arm, drag, muddy shoes! a perfect novelty, arm, arm, drag legs, scuff shoes, scuff, and I ask Can we just stay here? Like forever? Yeah. Why not?

The condescending Mum: You tell him “Oh sweetie, you’re such a brogressive. I expected better of you.” Express how disappointed you are in him and men in general. He ignores you, most likely. The Brodie: You write an entire Salient column about men making something from nothing to vent (sorry dude, you’re great). Always remember that you don’t owe men shit.

Notices

Quiz Night!

Academic Mentoring for Undergrads and Business Mentoring for Graduates

Just Speak, in combination with VUWSA, Women’s Refuge, Amnesty International and UniQ are having a Quiz Night! Thursday 15th September at 7pm in the Hunter Lounge. $10 a team for 3-6 people, plus an option to donate to Women’s Refuge. There are some great prizes and quiz questions lined up and all proceeds from the night go towards Women’s Refuge. If you don’t have a team, don’t worry, come along anyway and we will pair you up. You don’t need to have an interest in the groups involved either- just come along and support a great cause! See you all there!

Powered by academics and professionals, Academic 360° Mentoring is delivered via teletuition in areas from Applied Statistics to Calculus to Physics to Thesis Compilation. Business 360° Mentoring in China entrepreneurship is in great demand from graduates of all disciplines in areas such as Mandarin (Putonghua) at Work and Chinese Etiquette & Chinese Culture (Basic/Intermediate/ Higher/Advanced) for the Occident. Phone: +852 2771 2181 (7am-7pm, HK time) WhatsApp: +852 6627 4870 WeChat: +852 6627 4870 Email: mentor.guru@mail.com FB: http://www.facebook.com/mentor.guru.zhang

Movie Fundraiser: The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years Victoria Abroad – Attend an Exchange Information Session!

In aid of Wellington High School’s Mandarin language students’ China Experience Tuesday 20th September 2016 At 7.45pm - Penthouse Cinema, Brooklyn Tickets $25 each (includes beer, wine or soft drink), spot prizes and a treat bag Great raffle prizes to be won, including an original artwork painted on the night by calligrapher Stan Chan of inklinkstudio.com Ticket sales.

Why not study overseas as part of your degree?! Study in English, Earn Vic credit, Get Studylink & grants, explore the world! Weekly Information Sessions: Every Wednesday at 12:50pm, Level 2, Easterfield Building. Drop-in hours: Tuesday & Wednesday 1-3pm, Thurs & Friday 10:30-12pm

Please contact whschina2017@gmail.com support a great cause! See you all there!

The Arts Section 36 Food 37

Visual Arts

Music

39 Music 40 Film 41 Film 42

Games

43 TV 44

Books

45 Theatre

The Arts Section is sponsored by:

Food

Kate Morten

Sundried Tomato Hummus This hummus is perfect for when you’re skint and you clock that there’s a few dented cans of chickpeas lurking in the bargain bin at Pak ‘n Save. It is also good for those times when you’ve just arrived at 1am in the industrial area of a Greek city and you can’t find that key your Airbnb host hid for about half an hour, and you systematically wake up every neighbour in the building till you find one that speaks English and trusts you enough to buzz you in, and once you’re finally inside it turns out while there are no clean sheets, towels, or toilet paper, there IS a blender and some shrivelled garlic cloves to go with that can of chickpeas you bought with good intentions three countries ago. Also good for platter parties, general protein, and, if that second SATC movie is anything to go by (and god knows there were some gems there), also good for ya oestrogen levels.

2 cans chickpeas, drained & rinsed ½ cup of sundried tomatoes 2 cloves garlic 2 tbsp tahini 2 tsp ground cumin Juice of 2 small lemons 3 tbsp black sesame seeds 1 tsp cayenne pepper (optional) Salt & pepper to taste Olive oil (about ½ cup, but you can use more to thin it out)

Put the chickpeas, sundried tomatoes, and garlic cloves in a food processor and pulse until you’ve got a chunky paste. Add the tahini, cumin, lemon juice, sesame seeds, cayenne, salt and pepper, and blend while slowly adding the olive oil until combined. I always leave it quite thick and rustic, but if you prefer thinner hummus, you could add in more oil, or even a tiny bit of water as you blend. Top with extra sesame seeds.

The New Punk Rock

Robbie Whyte

What’s on this week: The horror of nothing to see Elijah Winter at Meanwhile (35 Victoria St) September 7, 5.30pm For any who come to take from here Dilohanna Lekamge at Enjoy Gallery (Level 1/147 Cuba St) August 25 to September 17 37

Visual Arts

The most recently established is Meanwhile: a curious space that has been set up by Callum Devlin, Jesse Bowling, Jordana Bragg, with a bunch of other supporters. It is a pokey office-y looking space right next to the Police Station at 35 Victoria Street. What a place to be, smack bang in the centre of the CBD, near the Library, and right next to what could be the clearest manifestation of the state. I couldn’t think of anywhere better to be disrupting the corporate mass flooding by throughout the day, to be presenting alternative ideas to the embodiment of our contemporary neoliberal society. The most recent show was The Welcoming Party’s Free Time. The Welcoming Party are a performance collective made up of Elisabeth Pointon and Lucas Donnell; a formidable duo of zany random acts of kindness, surprise, and celebration, their actions disrupt the rigid normality of the every day. They cause curiosity and query in whatever public audience that might be party to their antics—my favourite so far BYOGA (bring-your-own-yoga, get it?). This is the sort of work that I am excited about being presented in emerging artist-run spaces. Wacky eccentric work that challenges the perceptions of Art’s (yes capital A) inaccessibility. Another space named Playstation is about to open in the coming weeks on Egmont Street. They are booked up with shows for the rest of the year and I am stoked to see what will come out of our new mini Art-World. Exciting and challenging ideas is what I’m dreaming of. Keep your eye out on Facebook etc. and make the effort to get out and support these new spaces. These young artists are literally starving themselves to afford to operate these spaces, so get there and show them that you like people doing rad stuff (whether you are into it or not—and let them know what you think!).

A new phenomenon has become observable within Wellington as of late: the return of the artist-run space. Artist-run spaces take many shapes and forms, from windows to garages, to some of the starkest industrial bunkers you could find, all the way to the classic wooden floor, white walls loft. Artist-run spaces have been a pillar of the New Zealand art landscape for the past 20–30 years, but I had feared that in the last three or four years Wellington has been lacking these vital fledgling initiatives. Artist-run spaces are often the culmination of a group of ambitious young artists testing ideas and models that challenge our everyday lives, and go outside of the worry-filled, future-centric thought that ‘University, Careers, and Society’ inflict upon us. Artist-run spaces are (hopefully) free thinking, radical, experimental places that young artists use to propose new ideas, new thinking, and new systems for us to cope—or not—with the world we currently reside in. They are the punk rock of a crispy clean art world. Thats right, punk AF. Enjoy Gallery was originally conceived as an artist-run space; a small group of Ilam art school graduates from Christchurch moved up and took themselves seriously. Enjoy continues today, 16 years on, as a pillar of the Wellington art community supporting both emerging and established artists year in year out. Dilohanna Lekamge’s solo show—FOR ANY WHO COME TO TAKE FROM HERE—is currently being exhibited at Enjoy until the September 17, with an artist talk on Thursday, September 15, at 5.30pm. This is the work that got me thinking about writing for this issue of Salient, the body issue. Dilohanna uses the confrontation and beauty of the body and her practice explores notions of diaspora and the emotional distance from women’s issues in Sri Lanka where she was born. I have been exposed to Dilohanna’s work right through art school until now and it is uniquely conflicting, both serene and grating, and equally radical. I wanted desperately to write about her work and her current show, but I haven’t yet been able to see it. I promise to see it though, you should too! Dilohanna’s show / work got me thinking about rad emerging artists in Wellington, which led me to these new spaces that are popping up. It is something I am particularly passionate about; I have been writing about and trying to set up numerous spaces and projects for the last two to three years. Now some other people are actually getting their shit together and nailing it!

My Woman Angel Olsen 3.5/5

Music

Review by Robert Barratt

pretty sure she felt the same way. We were just going through the motions, carrying on in a way that was expected of us. Now that I think about it I don’t even know if she actually liked me that much. This is the same way My Woman makes me feel. It’s a logical progression and a step in the right direction. Everything sounds heartfelt and nice, but underneath there is a sense of the calculated, the expected. I wanted something more; I wanted something that I wasn’t expecting; I wanted to feel like someone had gone out of their way to make something that felt genuinely special. All the motions are here, but it doesn’t feel quite right. But I’m torn. I cannot deny the way I felt after first listen, and for those whose only exposure to Olsen will be this album, it’s a modern masterpiece in romantic storytelling. It’s laden with as much humor as it is heartfelt and undying love. Cheesy lines like “shut up and kiss me” are presented in a way that makes you genuinely want to do it. Olsen deftly avoids all the pitfalls so many modern love songs succumb to. In a sense this album is representative of the way a lot of relationships fall apart. Everything seems so exciting at first, but one quickly falls into a routine. Spontaneity falls by the wayside and you’re left with a hollow feeling. But you can’t put a score on love, and I guess I have to put a score on this album.

Love songs are a tricky thing to pull off. You run the risk of sounding too cheesy, insincere, or, god forbid, you get in a bit too deep and create something so embarrassing I have to turn that shit off midway through. So then how does Angel Olsen fare? After her 2012 release Half Way Home I’ll admit I felt her follow up Burn Your Fire For No Witness stepped in a lot of the right directions, but it lacked the visceral impact I was after. My Woman makes more of these moves and combines her dreamy, silky smooth, voice with some absolutely gorgeous 50/60s rock and roll guitar tones, making a sound almost like that of Fiona Apple, or a more hyped up version of Joanna Newsom. It’s an alluring combo and on first listen I was enamoured. When I was 14 I felt the same way about a girl in my English class. She was funny, smart, and made my puberty-wracked body feel kinda strange. I did my best at being séduisant and before I knew it (and to my amazement) we were in a very teenage sense dating. We went to movies, we went to cheap cafes—the usual fare. It was exactly what I wanted, exactly the way I thought it should go. But within a couple of weeks it was still just that. It seemed we were following some kind of script unknowingly. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was doing something right or wrong. People had always told me about the spark, the passion—was it simply I was too young? I became distant. She noticed, it quickly ended. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I wasn’t happy, but at the same time I wasn’t particularly upset either. In retrospect I’m

Angel Olsen will perform at San Fran (Wellington) on December 13.

JEFFERY Young Thug 4/5 Review by Robert Barratt

I will never be as cool as Young Thug is. I will never have the confidence to release a rap mixtape while wearing a Edo-era-esque dress, looking like a next level samurai. I will never be brave enough to release tracks titled after my idols, unironically naming one “Harambe” (dicks out). And for all of these reasons I think Young Thug is by far one of the best artists to explode into popularity in the last half decade. Let’s work through this, one piece at a time, as there is a lot to decode. First things first, the dress. Designed by Alessandro Trincone, it is quite possibly one of the biggest indicators as to how Young Thug transverses gender divides; he brings androgyny, intersexualism, and aesexualism into the mainstream rap lexicon. Bringing haute couture into an industry that was dominated by a singular image less that 15 years ago is a brave move, and one I can’t think of any other artists replicating. It’s also the perfect launching point for just how fluid Thuggers music can be. As an example, in “Harambe” (we’ll get to the name later) Thugger bombastically boasts about taking care of his own family, before delivering a voice-crackingly desperate line about how he’ll kill every member of your family if he has to. This flexibility in subject is only rivalled 39

Music

by how he can bend his voice. In the next track, “Weebie”, he replaces his rage-fuelled delivery with almost soulful singing. It’s this division of styles, attempting various vocal chops without fear of how it might be interpreted that makes Thugger so interesting. While the delivery method he uses is impeccable, it’s clear that it’s secondary to the message he’s trying to get across. Ok, the titles. Naming each track after an influence in your life is hard, as it will undoubtedly draw comparisons to the artist / individual they’re named after. Yet Thugger navigates this masterfully, adapting each track to contain callbacks to each person. “RiRi” uses the repetition of the word “work” to parallel Rihanna’s track of the same name. “Guwop” uses Gucci Mane’s comedic influences and weaves them with drug slang. And “Harambe”, well, from a literal interpretation has a lot of references to shooting in it, but at the same time is a perfect representation of Young Thug himself. To a lot of people he started life as a meme, but he has managed to enter the wider world as a discussion point with no correct answer—a niche that has entered the modern mainstream, something which you can’t say with certainty is a joke or not, delving so deep into post-post-irony that you don’t really know what’s real anymore. But before this review derails any further, let’s take a step back. JEFFERY is a stylistically varied, exceedingly modern release. It showcases Young Thug incredibly well; his vocal range, flow flexibility, and ability to create music that is representative of a moment in time are all put in the limelight. If you’re looking to get into Young Thug this is an excellent starting point before heading into his more avant-garde releases.

Catch 'em down bad Beat 'em with a bat, hashtag that I call it New Jack, yeah, yeah Bitch, I got a blue Jag I make that cash talk Bitch, I got a new house You wanna get in, need a passcode nigga — “Harambe”

Film

Kubo and The Two Strings

The Shallows

Director: Travis Knight 5/5

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra 3.5/5

Review by Finn Holland

Kubo and The Two Strings is the latest stop motion animation film from Laika Entertainment, the people who brought us the very entertaining Paranorman and The Boxtrolls, and probably scarred a lot of children for life with Coraline. Set vaguely in ancient China, the film tells the story of young Kubo who must leave his village on a perilous quest, along with a talking monkey, a small origami samurai, and a cursed warrior who has been transformed into a six foot beetle-warrior. It sounds quirky and offbeat (it is), and makes for a film in which Laika rises to a new height of filmmaking. Nearly every aspect of this film is outstanding, and will hopefully do as much for adults as it does for kids. The animation is brilliant and imaginative. It is a deeply textured and beautifully lit world which is wonderful to get lost in, and has an evocative story woven in. This film actually teaches and engages, and more importantly asks for the audience’s imagination. After watching the visual upheaval that was Angry Birds earlier this year, it is refreshing to see a children’s film that is restrained and thoughtful, rather than a buffet of exploding colours, punchlines, and pop songs. The voice talent on display is also top notch, with Charlize Theron and Matthew McConaughey both trumping their previous performances in animated films. Most notable though is Art Parkinson (aka Rickon “should-have-zig-zagged” Stark—GoT fans will get what I mean here) as Kubo, who carries most of the narrative and emotional weight of the film. Overall this is a refreshing side-step from the usual animated fare, and warrants a lot more attention and admiration than it is getting. So if you’re tossing up between that Blake Lively shark movie, the godawful looking Ben Hur remake, and the Richie McCaw movie (which for some reason exists?), maybe check this one out instead.

It really is a travesty that possibly one of the scariest beasts Mother Nature has ever cooked up has been utilised to such little effect on screen. In 1976 audiences were terrified by Jaws, and in 1999 Samuel L. Jackson was claimed by a great white in one of the most unintentionally funny deaths of all time, but other than that sharks seem to be more parodies on screen than legitimate threats. There are three awful Jaws sequels, and three awful Sharknado films—hardly the justice the creature deserves. I’d take Freddy, Jason, and Buffalo Bill any day over a six foot marine serial killer, and after watching the events unfold in The Shallows I’m sure Blake Lively would agree with me. Thankfully this film is far more Jaws than Sharknado, and left me surprisingly entertained. The prologue may not be a selling point, with cringy dialogue and overexposed footage drenched in instagram filters, but once Lively hits the waves the film locks into a tense, fiercely engaging, episode of Lively versus shark. The director makes good use of a bobbing, semi submerged camera and the isolated setting to reduce the narrative to its bare bones—much like what the shark is trying to do to the protagonist. The use of colour is also fantastic, particularly the explosive red of blood in the dark blue water, and the setting always feels authentic, even down to the natural lighting. Blake Lively does exceptionally well as a person in dire straits trying to preserve themselves, and she sells the pain and terror effortlessly. Her companion (i.e. the shark) in this piece is equally as solid; the shark’s special effects always add up to scares, and never comic relief. The two bring together a decent, if simple, thriller that may give you pause to wade into the water come summer.

Film

Me Before You Director: Thea Sharrock 1.5/5 Review by Dana Williams

Obviously distraught, Lou begs Will not to go through with his decision, but to no avail, and the film ends with a scene in which Will’s voice-over encourages Lou to “live well.” I thought it was pretty shocking that such a controversial topic was treated in such a way. This is not to say that the film was an advocate for people living with disabilities to ‘give up’ on living, but I think the issue could have been approached with a little more taste. Yes, the film exemplifies the difficulties of living with a disability or mental illness and it’s great to see these issues being addressed in films (see Still Alice for a great film that addresses mental illness), but killing off the main character for lack of trying to “live well” felt rather blunt and made me feel as though the film’s overarching message was invalid. What carried the film for me was Emilia Clarke’s performance. Playing an oddball worked for her, and she definitely brought most of the humour to the film. In classic rom-com style, the buildup to the romantic climax was highly anticipated, and Clarke’s loveable character made it that much easier to get on board with Will and Lou’s relationship, which until this point had ticked all the romantic comedy boxes for me.

Aptly named “Me Before You,” this cinema adaption of Jojo Moyes 2012 novel follows Will Traynor’s journey as he learns to live with a disability. Bitter that he has to give up his adventurous lifestyle after a tragic accident, Will is reluctant to accept that his life is not bound to his wheelchair. Will (played by Sam Claflin) lives as a stubborn and cynical recluse in his parents’ country home. Endlessly going through caregivers due to his relentless bad attitude, Will doesn’t give any less attitude when quirky, eccentric, and undertrained Lou (played by Emilia Clarke) shows up. The Traynor family believes that Lou’s peculiar (to put it mildly) and stubborn personality might push Will out of his glum state of mind and open his eyes to the beauty of living life to the fullest no matter the circumstances. However I felt that this message was lost as Me Before You took a bizarre turn for the worst. (Spoiler alert). After establishing a romantic connection on vacation, Will drops the untimely bomb that he intends to fly to Switzerland to be euthanized. This shocking plot twist comes after the audience (and Lou) learn that Will only ever intended to ‘try’ to live with his disability for six months before he would leave the country to undergo the life-ending procedure that is still illegal in the US. 41

Move along, nothing to see here…

Games

Review by Cameron Gray

in the gaming press, desperate for anything like this that will give them clicks and views, meaning more precious ad revenue, and there’s audiences out there equally desperate to gobble it all up. The real test comes when companies affected by leaks have an opportunity to respond. It’s kind of a tough spot: once the information is out there, it is difficult to bring under your control, potentially damaging your reputation depending on the circumstances. In this case, Sony have said nothing official and are unlikely to until the media event on September 7, which has made them look a little foolish. The aforementioned takedown notices were some unnecessary dickishness, but they seem content at the moment to just let the wave of hype build up some momentum until they can ride it without too much trouble. Laura’s review is still up, and it seems as though it will stay, and since it’s some damn fine journalism it should stay. I get it Sony, you wanted to show off your new toy, but someone decided to steal your thunder and show it off instead. Just put it out and don’t be a dick about it, okay? By the way, in case you’re curious, the slim PS4 actually looks kind of nice. It’s not really an improvement over the current model in terms of performance, which is a bit of a shame, but it should provide a cheaper option for those on a budget. The more notable changes include the removal of the optical port (which the audiophiles can worry about), an accessible bay for easier hard drive replacement, and a light bar on the controller. Other than that, it’s a smaller PS4, nothing more.

By the time you read this the good people at Sony Interactive Entertainment will probably have announced the PS4 Neo, along with a new slim model of the original PS4, at a media event in New York. Certainly, the Neo is interesting enough by itself, but the latter has something of a buzz surrounding it, because at the time of writing (September 2) Sony, for whatever reason, have refused to admit that the slim model is even a thing, even when the proof is right in our faces. First pictures of the new console were leaked courtesy of a listing from an auction site on August 21, showing how the new unit looks and some of its functionality. A couple of days later, an unboxing video from YouTube user ZRZ gave us an even better look at it, but it was taken down as a result of copyright claims from Sony. But the work of games journalist Laura Kate Dale really takes the cake; not only did she manage to buy a slim PS4 off eBay, but she wrote a full review and made an unboxing video, confirming beyond a shadow of a doubt that this thing is real and you will probably be able to buy it soon. I’m pretty sure someone over at PlayStation HQ is red in the face over this. They shouldn’t be. Leaks like this happen all the time. It’ll come up whenever the latest iPhone model is around eight months old, starting the hype train for all the Apple fanboys. Whether it’s from the factory or a retailer that doesn’t mind breaking the street date, it happens, and it no longer surprises me when it does. Hell, I am surprised the PS4 Neo or the Nintendo NX haven’t been leaked in any meaningful way, even though I’m pretty damn sure they’re coming. There are also plenty of media outlets, especially

Mr Robot, Season Two 5/5 Review by Katie Meadows TV talk about in regards to the actual plot: not because it’s lacking, but because Mr Robot is a richly satisfying psychological puzzle that I would hate to spoil for anyone. What I can say is that after the events of the first season, fsociety continues to function and taunt the rich and powerful in an increasingly dystopian reality, with Elliott attempting to remain off the grid while being slowly dragged back into the world of Mr Robot whether he likes it or not. If you thought the first season had twists, prepare to be left dizzy and be careful of extreme whiplash around the halfway point. Constantly anticipating plot twists can often be exhausting and disappointing, but Mr Robot is so well crafted that you can appreciate each turn, no matter how abrupt and gutting it can be. It’s a show that isn’t afraid to completely flip its own world upside down and leave you struggling to steady yourself again and you can’t even be mad because you’re too busy admiring the set up. Rami Malek, now with a fresh Emmy award for his portrayal of Elliott in season one, returns with even more intensity and fragility than thought humanly possible, especially for an actor whose biggest credit until now was Night at the Museum. Christian Slater is back for more deception and scheming as Mr Robot, along with BD Wong from SVU as Whiterose, leader of the Chinese hacker group the Dark Army. There are some pleasantly surprising cameos in comedian Craig Robinson (Pineapple Express, Hot Tub Time Machine) as the delightfully evil Ray, and rapper Joey Bada$$ as Elliott’s new friend, Leon. Esmail has stated he so far has up to five seasons of Mr Robot planned and, as frustrating as that sounds, I am so very ready.

Hello, friend. Everybody wants to rule the world—to have control over their surroundings, to feel safe, to be aware of everything going on around them. But control is an illusion; a skewed perception of your own security where you hide the truth to protect yourself. It’s just a matter of how deep in the illusion you are. If you haven’t seen the engrossing first season, Mr Robot follows Elliott Alderson, a twenty-something security engineer for cyber security company AllSafe. Elliott suffers from severe depression and social anxiety that he manages with a morphine addiction, weekly visits with a therapist, and by hacking every single person around him to try and feel closer to them. When Elliott is approached by a hacker group, fsociety, led by the enigmatic Mr Robot he is given the opportunity to be a part of something huge, as the group plan a large-scale data hack to erase global digital debt. Often when I try to describe the premise of Mr Robot I worry it can seem a bit off putting in a pretentious way, coming across as a Fight Club-esque fantasy penned by a 4chan basement activist. There are a lot of opportunities for that to happen—the masks and all the political allegories can come across a little heavy handed—but the show always manages to save itself by being just so damn smart. I can’t imagine the stacks of notebooks, or rather desktop folders, show creator / writer / director Sam Esmail has to keep track of the world he has created. Not since Lost has my brain been so full of theories and questions, but luckily Mr Robot has a good record of actually tying up all these loose ends. In writing about season two there is not a lot I can 43

Books

This Is How You Lose Her

Self-Help

Author: Junot Díaz Publisher: Riverhead Books 3/5

Author: Lorrie Moore Publisher: Faber & Faber 5/5

Review by Kimberley McIvor

Review by Cassie Richards

Junot Díaz shoots straight from the hip; swear words and sad lives and all. The people in his stories drink, they smoke weed until they can’t feel anything, they sleep with “putas”—careful to note their ethnicity and the shape of their bodies. Yunior, the young Dominican guy that keeps popping up across this short story collection, is ill-fated and illfitted for the life he’s been given. Spread amid a scattering of different tales concerning Dominican existence in the US, Díaz chronicles Yunior’s desperate romances (if romance is the right word) over his early years, with merciless details of his pride, his selfishness, and his self-loathing. You can’t believe anyone could bear to live for long in such a tragedy—a life defined by frustration. I wonder if any of this is autobiographical? But I didn’t bother googling it. I think you need to just sit in your response to this work for a while. Tell yourself no one really lives that way, it’s just a story, people have more hope than that. Which is true—Díaz has a sort of restricted perspective which is unique to his personality, like every author—but that doesn’t mean he’s alone. His characters feel real. And, incidentally, he’s been glorified by the New York literary types, specifically the New York Times’ critic Michiko Kakutani. His work resonates with them, at least, which proves something. This Is How You Lose Her is a searing, disorienting account of a broken community in America; a Dominican diaspora unhinged, unstable, unseen that lies in the dark shadows of the American dream. Read if you want to face a harsh reality, or if you love a fresh modern voice, or if you’re a bit of a dick and want some literary company, because Yunior is the guy behind that depressing relationship story that every girl has in her back pocket.

Self-Help is the first short story collection from American writer Lorrie Moore, published in 1985. It’s the kind of collection that might make you feel badly about your own attempts at writing short fiction—her skill at crafting a story around small actions and observations with poignancy and humour is boundless. As the title suggests, Moore is playing with the idea of self-help manuals. The opening story of the collection, “How to Be an Other Woman”, is about a young woman who enters into an affair with an older, married man. Told in the second person, the reader is put into the front seat of the story—it’s an effective narrative technique. “After four movies, three concerts, and two-and-a-half museums you sleep with him. It seems the right number of cultural events,” Moore writes. As the narrator starts to lose her sense of self in the relationship, compiling lists in an attempt to hold on to reality, we are taken along with her. Moore’s stories deal with serious, even morbid subjects, but her skill as a writer allows her to tinge them with a humour that doesn’t detract from the story itself. Such as in “Go Like This”, a story about a woman with cancer who decides to end her own life and announces her intention to a roomful of friends, to varying responses. “How to Talk to Your Mother (Notes)” tells the story of a relationship between a mother and daughter in reverse, from after the mother’s death. It’s quietly heartbreaking, but with moments of almost defiant comedy. Moore’s stories are truly one of a kind and I feel richer for having read her. She has also written novels, but in my opinion her strengths lie most in her short stories. SelfHelp is the perfect place to get acquainted with her.

ORPHANS—A play that challenges notions of belonging Review by Ruby Hansen

Theatre

The cast sustained a high level of energy throughout the 90 minute performance. Each actor portrayed a uniquely charismatic and daring interpretation of their character. K. C. Kelly enriched Harold as the charming and undeniably slippery adoptee father, Andrew Patterson was the boisterous yet troubled Treat, and Jimmy O’Donovan gave an irresistibly idiosyncratic characterisation of lovable, quirky Phillip. The set design work as the audience gets to see each character move about the small home, and as the story reveals itself, so too do the intricacies of the home. Clarke-Edwards’ set is so meticulously detailed, that we get a palpable sense of ‘living’: from the full tuna cans, to the mess of videotapes, the flickering of the TV screen onto the walls of the house, and Treat’s careless flicking of mandarin skins. You can almost smell the house, taste it. The home was a character in and of itself. By the end of the play I wanted to go and inspect the hundreds of personal items left awash on the stage. The world of ORPHANS, in Reid’s words, is an “altered state, a place halfway between magical realism and statement.” I heartily commend the ambitious staging, and for the most part this intention was effectively realised. However the lighting and sound design could have been made clearer through a more progressive introduction into the magical-realist world. While the off-skew bursts of lighting and sound helped to create a sense of danger, oddity, and surrealism, at times they detracted from the drama onstage. Reid’s team of designers, actors, and production staff did an astounding job in presenting a play both funny and thrilling. When I chatted to the team members, I was dumbfounded to know that they put this production together in just four weeks! ORPHANS felt so full and resounding. To hear that each member of cast and crew worked their asses off to create something with such dramaturgical flow, that complemented and supported the performance, made me excited about experiencing and making theatre again.

How does one navigate their sense of belonging, family, and home in the world? How do these notions play a part in adult life and how far will one go to preserve and protect these quintessential notions of kinship? These are the compelling and resonant questions put forward in Lyle Kessler’s hauntingly captivating play ORPHANS, directed by Stella Reid, and performed this year at BATS Theatre. ORPHANS is a highly acclaimed play, nominated for the Tony Award. It is successful in all aspects: from its intriguing characters Phillip, Treat, and Harold and their dynamic relationship, to the captivating narrative, complete with twists and turns, surprises and familiarities, that keeps the audience on edge. However this review isn’t about how well written ORPHANS is, but how well it was brought to life by the eyes and hands of Wellington theatre practitioners—as this was New Zealand’s premiere of the production. Treat and Phillip are the yin-yang orphaned brothers who live together-alone in their tired, cluttered household. Treat, the hot-tempered and hyper-masculine older brother, is extremely protective of his younger brother Phillip. Phillip, the careful and sensitive listener of the pair, discovers where he is in the world by watching 1930s films and the strangers who walk past his living room window. It is never explicitly stated when their parents disappeared, but we do know that Phillip treasures his parents’ wardrobe as a place for hiding and spying on visitors. One particular visitor marks the turning point in the boys’ lives. Harold, an old, rich businessman with a dodgy history, first appears when Treat drags drunk Harold back to their home, in an attempt to rob him. Phillip finds in Harold a newfound father figure and Harold hires Treat as his bodyguard, utilising Treat’s intimidating and “violent nature,” but only momentarily is he satisfied with this. Slowly but surely Treat becomes overly suspicious of Harold’s paternal antics, and the older brother staggers into a downward spiral of paranoia and torment. In the end, the tables between the brothers are turned and we discover that it is Treat that relies more on Phillip.

Puzzles

Crossword: 'Honk Honk'

Made by Puck

Easy Crossword answers from last week

Target goals

ACROSS 1. Look at, out of curiosity (4,1,6) 7. Garfield, for one (3) 9. 'Take On Me' band, which apparently has a hyphen (1-2) 10. Disney character whose mother gets shot (spoiler aler... wait, the movie's like, 70 years old) (5) 11. Ability (5) 12. Garfield's owner (3) 13. Events where you search for rabbit droppings? (6,3,5) 17. American river that connects two of the Great Lakes (7) 20. Dunk into water (7) 23. Fruitless endeavour (4,5,5) 28. Graffiti, maybe (3) 29. North West, to Kourtney Kardashian (5) 20. Arm joint (5) 31. The night before (3) 32. Jesse played him in 'Batman V Superman' (3) 33. 'Drive' actor who, according to an internet meme, won't eat his cereal (4,7)

Good: 32 words Great: 37 words Impressive: 41 words

DOWN 1. Big brass instrument (4) 2. Capital city of Uganda (7) 3. Short operatic solo (7) 4. Country whose national anthems were composed by Haydn and Mozart (7) 5. Taking part in (5) 6. Chief Wiggums' son, on 'The Simpsons' (5) 7. Louisiana cuisine (5) 8. Transition metal whose name comes from Swedish (8) 14. It's affected by the dreaded gingivitis (3) 15. Employ (3) 16. Get rapidly worse (8) 18. Namesake of any of the planets in the solar system, except one (3) 19. 'King Kong' studio (3) 20. Cause of a famous 1912 disaster (7) 21. Spiky haircuts (7) 22. 'The Barber of Seville' composer (7) 24. Material to wrap junk in? (5) 25. One without a chance in hell (5) 26. 'The Barber of Seville', for example (5) 27. Diana turned Actaeon into one, in Greek myth (4)

1) October 8. 2) 1994. 3) Three. 4) $681,000. 5) Calvin Harris. 6) Headphone jack. 7) One, Barry Gibb. 8) 2011. 9) Albert Park. 10) Philadelphia and Forrest Gump. 46

Contributors

About Us Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded in part by Victoria University of Wellington students through the Student Services Levy. The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University. Salient is printed on environmentally sustainable paper, and with vegetable ink, and is completely FSC approved. Complaints People with a complaint against the magazine should complain in writing to the Editor at editor@salient.org.nz and then, if not satisfied with the response, to VUWSA.

Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

Editors Emma Hurley and Jayne Mulligan editor@salient.org.nz

Feature Writers Sharon Lam Charlie Prout

Design and Illustration Ella Bates-Hermans designer@salient.org.nz

Photo Essay Kate Baxter, Emilie Marschner, Lekk Porter. Thanks to Jac, Molly, Emma, and Eden.

News Editor Kate Robertson news@salient.org.nz Chief Sub Editor Tim Manktelow Sub Editors Bronwyn Curtis Ali Kaye Matty Reeves Distributor Joe Morris News Reporters Alex Feinson Katy Groom Jennie Kendrick Charlie Prout Alexa Zelensky Saeran Maniparathy

Opinion Writer Bronwyn Curtis Section Editors Cassie Richards (Books) Dana Williams (Film) Ophelia Wass (Theatre) Ruby Joy Eade, Lucy Wardle, Louise Rutledge, Robbie Whyte (Visual Arts) Cameron Gray (Games) Katie Meadows (TV) Contributors Alice Lyall, Jonathan Gee, Raimona Tapiata, Laura Toailoa, Ruby Hansen, Brodie Fraser, Lynette Johnson, Henrietta Bollinger, Cathy Stephenson, Cole Hutchinson, Kate Morten, Bronwyn Curtis, Robert Barratt, Kimberley McIvor, Finn Holland, Puck.

Contact Level 2 Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington 04 463 6766 Printed by SMP, Wellington. Advertising Jason Sutton jason.sutton@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982 Social Media fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag

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