SALISBURY
ISSUE 005 JULY 2016
PARENTING VE EXCLUSI W E I V R E T IN
“ I feel stronger than I ever have” How Alex from GLF went from zero body confidence to competing after baby.
WHAT DOES HOME EDUCATION REALLY MEAN? TODDLER SPEAK IS A LANGUAGE ALL OF ITS OWN, BUT THERE ARE WAYS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO SPEAK AND GROW THEIR SPEECH DEVELOPMENT.
How do I get my kids to stay in bed once they’ve gone up for the night?
VICKI PSARIAS
“Within 4 weeks of starting I was a finalist at the BritMums”
NO MORE MUMMY TUMMY! MORE CRUNCHES
Summer school sweetheart. What do the changes to our government mean for our kids starting school in September?
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EDITORS
MONTH... There is no denying that Salisbury Parenting has grown significantly like wildfire in the last six months. We are 5 issues in and all your great feedback has been flooding in and filling the admin’s inbox! This issue has been months in the making and to celebrate has had a cheeky facelift! As this is the first summer issue and the first one in the new style it may be nice to tell you a little about myself and my introduction to Salisbury Parenting and this magazine as most people have been asking why I do it and what made me do it. I, like most parents, started reading books and magazines during pregnancy. However, most of that mainstream information did not resonate with me, what we find in glossy magazines nowadays is more ‘Marmite’ you either agree or disagree and I struggled to connect to alot of what I was reading, some written by people who didn’t even have children and really didn’t understand the concept of a broken nights sleep! It was only when I became a mummy that made me realise that there were more approaches than those most widely advocated in written places, and that I was ‘allowed’ to listen to my instincts. My instincts told me to ditch the pram and the cot! So I’m a breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping and responsive mummy! Before I had my daughter Millie I was working as a preschool teacher and doing ghost writing for a freelance company, so children and writing was all I ever really knew, becoming a mummy gave me a new lease on writing and the style in which i chose to write, and it is true to form on what they say... You really don’t know what parenting is like, until your doing it. Although I enjoyed being a teacher, once I became a ‘full time mum’ as it were I think I had realised my career as a teacher and dream of working my way through university to primary school teacher a no goer. I was a mum and I chose to stay at home with my child for her first year so I didn’t miss ‘those’ moments of her growing up. Therefore, I had to find something I could do from home, i wrote for several companies and did a few bar shifts for social reasons more than financials and it wasn’t until I was having lunch with a friend that it dawned on me what my life purpose was! It is to help spread the message of parenting as i knew it. In my view, the most important part of that message is really simple: REAL PARENTING BY REAL PARENTS. LISTEN TO AND TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Parenting isn’t easy and it really does put the strain on relationships and families, we are here to help, Salisbury Parenting is a non judgemental community where we tell parenting as it is... Straight out of the mouths of parents. We have a diverse range of articles in this issue and all of them fab; from something for the foodies to home education and working out from home, cool crafts to do with the kids and a Q&A that makes mums feel like they have the answer they have so longingly needed. Enjoy xxx
CHARLOTTE HAGYARD, EDITOR
© M Crooks
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SALISBURY
ISSUE 005 JULY 2016
PARENTING VE EXCLUSI EW INTERVI
VICKI PSARIAS
“ I feel stronger than i ever have”
“Within 4 weeks of starting I was a finalist at the BritMums”
How Alex from GLF went from zero body confidence to competing after baby.
31 39
PAGE
NO MORE MUMMY TUMMY! MORE
WHAT DOES HOME EDUCATION REALLY MEAN?
PAGE
CRUNCHES
TODDLER SPEAK IS A LANGUAGE ALL OF ITS OWN, BUT THERE ARE WAYS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO SPEAK AND GROW THEIR SPEECH DEVELOPMENT.
How do I get my kids to stay in bed once they’ve gone up for the night?
DON’T MISS IT!
PAGE
Summer school sweetheart.
45
What do the changes to our government mean for our kids starting school in September?
PAGE
Salisbury Parenting. Editor: Charlotte Hagyard Editor@charlotterosemag.co.uk Cover Design: C.R.P LIMITED FEATURING VICKI PSARIAS Contributors: Vicki Psarias, Sarah Cronshaw, Toby Giles, Beverley Barter, Martyn Kitney, Vicky Charles, Katie Taylor, Alex Taylor
EDITOR’S PICKS BRETON STRIPES TOP £25 John Lewis
Publisher: Charlotte Rose Publications Ltd Printer: Sarum colourview Studio@colourview.co.uk Photographer: John Rose Photography Ltd Studio@johnrosephotography.com
Managing Director: John Rose Managing Director: Charlotte Hagyard
www.salisburyparenting.co.uk
21
SUMMER SLUMBER BUDDIES £14.99 Kiddicare.com ESTEE LAUDER DOUBLE WEAR FOUNDATION. £30 Debenhams
CONTENTS
Issue 005. The Summer Issue/2016
12 19
Supa go go - What we are loving at Salisbury Parenting this month. Is home education the new must have of the parenting world?
21 Vicki Psarias is the honest mum of mums, in her exclusive interview we find out how she does it all!
25
They aren’t babies anymore... Getting ready to start school
29 Getting fruit into our little ones
needn’t be hard anymore with Bev’s summertime smoothies. Getting five a day into your kids never seemed so easy!
33 30
Breastfeeding blunders and toddler tantrums, our mums answer the questions you’ve sent in . One mum, two kids and a bump but its not stopped her loving her baby body. We find out how she got her body back post baby.
39
Squat it like its hot! Toby Giles tackles troublesome areas with home work outs you can do between baby naps.
45
Summer school sweetheart, what do the changes to our government mean for our kids starting school in September?
51 IF YOU HAVE AN ARTICLE OR SOMETHING TO PITCH, YOU WANT TO SEE PUBLISHED, GET IN CONTACT! Email - Admin@charlotterosemag.co.uk Tweet us - @Salisparenting Send too - Unit 6, The Centurian Centre, Old Sarum, Salisbury, Wilthshire, SP4 6QX
Get creative this summer with flip flops and beach sculptures!
YOUR
FEEDBACK IT’S GOT EVERYTHING! I love that there’s a bit of something for everyone in the Salisbury Parenting magazine be it humour, relationships, great food or of course something for the dads. I Especially liked the ‘Adorable Mispronunciation’ feature as it reminds me of the cute things my own children come out with.
STAR FEEDBACK
Julie Evans, Via email
Salisbury Parenting is a refreshingly honest view on parenting!
SWEET ENOUGH It just isn’t the British summer as we know it without strawberries! Tasty new sweeteve is sweet enough without the added sprinkling of sugar, and with 3/4 less packaging as well! So not only are you getting your summer sweet treat, your doing your environment justice as well! sweetevestrawberry.co.uk
Zoe, Via Twitter I love that it is local to me, offering insightful, honest articles about real parents and parenting. Salisbury Parenting understands the modern mum! Stacey Eyres, Via twitter
50%
Is the number of UK grandparents who now look after their grandchildren, saving parents a whopping £33 billion in childcare bills every year. Source: Aviva
Sometimes when I want to take on the world, I try to remember that it is just as important to sit down and ask my son how he is feeling or talk to him about life. Angelina Jolie, 40, mum to 6
JULY
PREGNANCY BLUES. Most of us assume that postnatal depression occurs after birth, as its name suggests, but this isn’t necessarily the case says consultant Dr Trudi Seneviratne ‘It can also be triggered during pregnancy. Also women with a previous history of mental health illness may relapse during this time.’ Former health visitor and Greatvine’s postnatal depression expert Ann Girling, says, ‘Women might feel upset about their changing body image, or have self anxieties about their unborn child. The important thing is to not feel ashamed if you don’t feel as happy as you thought you might be.’ Don’t assume that it will go away on its own, adds Dr Senevirante. ‘This kind of depression is no less serious than any other and usually treatment is needed.’ If you do feel tearful and low, see your GP.
W IS THE TIME T ITS SUMMER, NO
OO...
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WALK ON SUNSHINE Support local and close to the heart charities with one of the Time Outdoor challenges. The whole family can get involved and fancy dress is a must! Check out Timeoutdoors.com
WELCOME
to the WORLD
BABY
EMILY
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PHOTO BY JOHN ROSE PHOTOGRAPHY
VICTORIA GRANT
e n o d l l e W to the girls Every two minutes someone is diagnosed with cancer in the UK. So walk, jog or run to help save more lives. Well done for entering and running the local Salisbury 5k or 10k this summer, view your running pictures at www.johnrosephotography.com or call 01722 320 500.
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Sent in by Clare of Our Funny Family! Want to see more of Clare’s work? Check out her Facebook page, Our Funny Family and share your work and love!
Mum SOS
“My three year old is totally potty trained, I still help her on and of the toilet and I still have to wipe her, which is fine but come September she will expected to do this all by herself at preschool. She’s really struggling all on her own. Can anyone help?” ANON
Try toilet wipes Don’t worry about her getting onto the toilet as they are smaller in nursery. Let her pick some toilet wipes to encourage her to wipe herself and dress her in a skirt or dress so its easier for her to just lift up.
Talk to preschool They do have tiny little people toilets are nursery’s and preschools but they should still be able to help, if i was you I would talk to the nursery, if they aren’t able to help you it might not be the right place for your daughter.
Take spares Take spare clothes of everything. Loose trousers and a skirt will help, and the same with her underwear. She might not always get it right, she is a child after all but that’s how children learn. Send in a bag of spare clothes with her just in case.
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Are stay at home parents the new top choice for education?
‘‘Its not only hippies in caravans that home educate, I’m proud to be a home educator’’ Home schooling, also known as home education, is the education of children inside the home, as opposed to in the formal settings of a public or private school. It’s a hot topic in the education circle but is it for everyone? Parenting is defined as the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers us to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. However, in some situations you can feel helpless due to governmental procedure to fulfil this; we felt like this when my eldest started school. As a teacher I never understood why parents seemed to mollycoddle their children. I would spend 30 hours a week watching these wonderful children learn, explore and achieve activities that they previously had no idea about. I saw inquisitive children in front of me but definitely not babies as some parent would make me believe. My biggest annoyance was when a parent would change the age of their child from, for example, 6 years to 72 months: “You need to understand Mr Kitney that ‘Johnny’ is only 72 months old and he needs all the help that he can get” The concept of claiming your child’s age in a measurement of months baffled me. It always felt that the parent was trying to minimize the growth of their child; the contrast from what I was visually seeing day by day. Move forward 5 years and my eldest was enrolling in school and I could feel the natural instinct to wrap him up and protect him from some of the horrors of the world both inside and out. All parents of school aged children know that feeling but more often than not the child walks in confident and happy without a care in the world. This, if we are lucky, is how school continues for our precious bundles of joy. What if the happy ever after didn’t happen? What if your child is upset, distraught, mentally and physically hurt every day and you have done everything in your power to help but to no avail?
What option would you have left? Unfortunately this was the case for my eldest. I wanted to do everything I could to help my son but I didn’t know how. He was struggling and the experience he had faced had scarred him, so moving to an alternative school was not an option; home education seemed the only choice. I am the first to say how reluctant I was to start but as a Dad that is hardly surprising; statistics show that although the fathers are supportive it is usually the mum that makes the initial decision. My initial thoughts were of a country cottage with a family large enough to compete in a football competition, hippie’s home educating from the back of their minivan and of families where the children are running circles around each other re-enacting scenes from Jungle Book having regressed back to wildlings. Was I about to become one of these parents? Do I need to buy a camper van and grow my hair long? Although I say these questions now in a lighthearted manner, the initial misconceptions did actually cross my mind. However, the biggest question was if it was achievable or possible to undertake? Home education can be whatever you like; the only official ground will be to deregister them from school. However, that doesn’t mean that children sit around all day watching TV and playing games. I have yet to meet a family that allows their children to do the above but this misconception is one of two that is perceived when people hear that you home educate. School-at-home is the alternative style most people automatically think of. It is so easy to understand and can be accompanied by a photo of children studying at a table. In reality many families, including myself, follow curriculum topics and then allow the child to naturally explore the subject. Relaxed
home education allows the children do a little of everything, using workbooks for numeracy, literacy and then taking an unschooling approach for the other subjects. Alternatively, or in addition to, unschooling where you have the idea of an ‘open classrooms’; unschooling students are, potentially, learning through their life experiences including play, responsibilities, interests and, ultimately, their curiosity.
14 Presidents of America were home educated, as were Singer Taylor Swift and actress Emma Watson who were both home educated at the age of 11, as were athletes Serena and Venus Williams and finally not to mention scientists Alexander Graham Bell, Erwin Schrödinger and Thomas Edison. The point here is that this list could go on and the world doesn’t realise that many famous and successful people were home educated, how can this be the result of them suffering?
“14 Presidents of America were home educated, as were Singer Taylor Swift and actress Emma Watson who were both home educated at the age of 11” It then encourages exploration of activities initiated by the children themselves, believing that the more personal learning, the more meaningful, well-understood and useful it is to the child. In principle from that the point the adults are there to be the facilitators of life. Being a qualified teacher, who was prominently teaching Key Stage One, I had all my previous lesson plans, guidelines and resources and subsequently all we needed available without worry. However, a schooled and educational background isn’t necessary as resources and support can be found if you contact your local council, search for local home ed groups or look on websites such as TES or Twinkl. We decided that home education was the best way forward; the decision, however, is a personal choice but it has opened my eyes to certain aspects of education as a Parent and as a Teacher. The idea that children will suffer if home educated is the biggest myth of all.
What about socialisation? This is usually the biggest worry that most people have and I will be honest and admit that it was mine too. The truth is that both of my boys have a fantastic social life; better than many of my friends schooled children. Apart from having an incredibly social and organised group locally that meet at least 3 times a week, the boys go to library clubs, Beavers, trampolining, drama, dance and Church groups as well as socialising with family. I also believe that they gain a higher level of socialisation where they interact with a more varied range of ages and individuals on a more regular basis than a schooled child would.
child’s lives or some believe that 5, or in many cases 4, is too young and follow the examples of countries such as Sweden, Denmark and Finland where school doesn’t begin until the age of seven. Due to this there are also different experiences in all of the areas that I have discussed. Home Educating your child is no longer a radical lifestyle choice but a growing and thriving way to educate. My eldest is back to being a happy child, with no worries, who is thriving, just as his brother is and I am once again watching wonderful children learn, explore and achieve activities. I am proud that my role now as a parent is to be a Home Ed Dad.
This was obviously our story and many families choose the home education route for a variety of different reasons. I know many families that are disheartened with our current school system, some want to be that active influence on their
There are as many reasons for this as there are families doing it. Here are a few of In general; miserable, stressed, switched off kids. And the deep inherent feeling in parents that surely there has to be another way. Surely a successful life in the real world after school years is not dependent on this! You’ll be glad to know, it isn’t! To put some other worries at rest; educating out of school is legal, you don’t have to be a teacher, your kids do make friends, there is support, you will not be alone or the only ones, children do learn, and finally home educating does work! Ross Mountney - Learning Without School (publisher, year)
CELEB MUM
e v i s u l Exc h t i w w e i v r e t ! In ! ’ m u M t s e n o H ‘The
VICKY PSARIAS.
H
starting at 11 and winning several awards for her work. Now turning full time parenting blogger Vicki Psarias is one kick ass mummy we would want round for mums coffee morning, with her honest approach to parenting and kind heart she is the mum to look too. Your career has gone from strength to strength, are there any new challenges in the pipeline? There are always new challenges and goals to be met and these change and evolve all the time. Every day sees new proposals come through to me and projects start up. I want to go back to my film making roots more this year so you’ll be seeing a lot more video content from me and a new longer form project is currently in development too. I love the immediacy of working digitally, that you/anyone can create/share their voice then hit publish and connect with an audience. It’s an empowering time for creative Thirty something, yummy mummy, film director and people. We are no multi-award winning screenwriter VICKI turned to longer dependant on blogging after a traumatic birth with her son. Founder the gatekeepers of traditional media to of parenting and lifestyle blog HONEST MUM, Vicki is green light projects, now one of the biggest known mums and professional we create and reach an mummy BLOGGERS. audience.
The honest mum life
VICKI PSARIAS
Film director, blogger and all round super mum, how do you find the time for it all? And how do you find the time just to be you. I work full time on the site and have a small team now so to be honest I have more free time than ever before. I’ve built the business to the extent that I mostly work on bigger, longer term projects rather than lots of small commissions and I’m lucky that I write quickly and prolifically. I currently work 3 days a week, taking 2 off with my youngest son Xander. I do shoot a little on weekends too. It’s taken nearly 6 years to get here- and it feels good (all those late nights were worth it). I love my job and the passion I have for the arts means running Honest Mum, blogging and vlogging never feels like work. I equally love my life though and having time out with my kids, husband, friends and simply solo-time keeps me feeling content and strong.
You suffered with OC when pregnant with your son, what advice can you give new mums to be about looking out for the signs and how to deal with OC? It’s now known as ICP and I would say if you itch in pregnancy, get a blood test, it’s so simple to get checked- and keep on top of it too. Seek support and the latest medical advice to help manage the condition if you are affected.
You are massive in the mum/dad blogging community with stats of over 26k twitter followers. What inspired you to take up blogging after such a high flying career in TV and film? I started blogging in November 2010 at a time
I felt rather lost and alone. I was suffering from a traumatic birth after suffering ICP which led to an emergency c-section... Starting Honest Mum helped me to rediscover my voice and importantly, my confidence. Within 4 weeks I was a finalist at the BritMums’ Brilliance in Blogging Awards in the Fresh Voice Category and then was back on set, directing. Blogging soon started to explode and by the time I was pregnant with my second child, working online had organically become my career. As I vlog professionally and create a lot of video content for brands and editorial, I don’t feel I ever really left the film industry.
What mums in the celebrity world as we know it do you think are most influential?
There are so many, I interviewed the amazing Alesha Dixon recently who is such a big-hearted, genuine and passionate woman-a true inspiration.
You have been in the public eye for many years now, what does it mean to you to be branded a ‘Celebrity mum’? I don’t think I’m a celebrity mum but thank you for the compliment! I never think of myself in that way. ...I think people who read my blog feel I’m their friend and I love that. I started Honest Mum to connect with other like-minded mums and dads and my goal was to create a welcoming place where I could be honest about the good and also the tough aspects of parenting. I also wanted to show that just because I became I parent, I still had a right to be ambitious and not lose myself, my identity. I share all of my loves on the site from food to fashion, film, beauty and more. There’s hopefully something for everyone there.
Did you go through any prenatal or anti natal blues with either of your boys? I suffered from a traumatic birth with my first child which was the lowest time of my life. It took 5 years to find the strength to blog about it but when I did, the post went viral. I still receive emails and comments today from women thanking me for helping them feel confident enough to reach out for help. That means a lot to me. Moving closer to family and having therapy helped me overcome that tough time.
What is your one top tip for new parents or parents to be?
Trust your gut, it won’t fail you. There’s so much ‘noise’ when it comes to first-time parenting (back seat parents I call them), well meaning for the most part but so often, stifling. Simply going with what FEELS right, will always BE right. Also, don’t be scared to reach out and ask for help, it’s a strength to do so, not a weakness.
Lots of inspiring business/feminist/mum boss books, novels, literary greats, screenwriting and filmmaking how-to’s which date back to my filmmaking and lecturing days and more cookbooks than is feasibly imaginable. The latter, I just can’t get enough of, it’s a real problem!
To new parents thinking of starting a blog, what advice can you give them?
What quote do you live your life by? Be the kind of person you would like to meet- and always be kind.
OK major parenting fail here but a few weeks ago-whilst shopping in the supermarket, my 3 year old Xander shouted ‘f***** ‘ell’ when I said he couldn’t have some sweets (at least he got the context right). It came after hearing me swear the week before when a car nearly drove into us! Those little ears remember everything. I cringed all the way to the till!
Where do you see yourself in the blogging competition? I don’t see blogging/careers or life as a competition so I can’t really answer that. I define success on happiness and believe there’s enough success and pleasure to go around. My priority is to feed back to others and inspire in what I do. Nothing feels more rewarding than helping others.
What is on your bookshelf?
What is the funniest thing your kids have ever said?
INTERVIEW
I have so much-START firstly, get your domain name and go for it- it’s so easy to procrastinate and say you’ll start tomorrow. I also have a wealth of posts on doing just that, bursting with blogging tips. Keep honing your voice, read widely, work on your confidence (remember the brain is plastic and the more you practice self-belief, the stronger you will feel) and promote yourself!
Twitter followers - 26,660 Facebook page fans - 11,140 Pintrest followers - 38,450 Instagram followers - 9,830
@HonestMummy
Vicki Psarias-Broadbent
Honest Mum
@Honestmum
STARTING SCHOOL: Are they ready?
Words by Sarah Cronshaw Starting school That time of the year is here again – the end of the school year. My daughter started school last September and I just can’t understand where the time has gone. I’m a little bit sad that my girl is so grown up that she’s not even in reception anymore. Having a child at school hasn’t been as scary as I’d imagined it would be, though it has brought various challenges (for her and us) and is a lot more hectic than I expected. If you’ve got a child who starting school in a couple of months, here’s a little bit of what to expect and how to prepare for it. What to expect in the lead up to the start of term The few months leading up to the start of the term are hectic to say the least! Not only do you have uniform, bags and PE kits to buy, there are a lot of dates to schedule. Depending on the school you may have several settling in sessions for your child to attend, meetings for parents, and maybe even a home visit from the teacher – and that’s all before you even get to September. In the first weeks of the term your child might do a couple of weeks of half days, or they may be thrown in at the deep end straight away, it all depends on the school. If you work it might be worth having a conversation with your boss now to warn them that you might need some time off at the beginning of September as from experience the schools don’t like to give much notice. If you think you might need to organise breakfast or after school clubs then I’d recommend looking into these early, as they do book up fast. Getting your child prepared Your school will probably give you a list of things that they’d like all children to be able to do before they start school – if your child goes to pre-school or nursery they may also help them to get ready. A good list to work on over the summer would be: * Be able to recognise their name * Practice counting to 10 * Use the toilet by themselves, and wash their hands afterwards * Pour their own drink
* Be able to use cutlery to eat their food * Practice writing their name
show & tell, and plenty of other things to keep you busy. I highly recommend buying a diary. Stock up on food because your child will be ravenous the second they come out, despite morning snacks and a cooked lunch.
Resources There are lots of fun writing and phonics workbooks to buy which will allow them to practice without feeling like they’re really doing work. Our favourite workbook was the Topsy and Tim Start School Sticker Activity Book https://wordery.com/ start-school-a-ladybird-topsy-and-tim-sticker-activitybook-9780723294665
The bit that I’m sure all parents will be grateful for – your child will be absolutely shattered and hopefully fall asleep as soon as their little head hits the pillow. Tips for managing work and doing the school run. If you work then the hardest part is trying to fit everything in, it’s not just the school run there will be assemblies, plays, fetes, cake sales, discos, and all sorts of after school clubs
If your child isn’t sure what to expect from school then a good story book is “Starting School” by Janet & Allen Alberg https://www.amazon.co.uk/Starting-School-Picture-PuffinsAhlberg/dp/0723273464 There are also some good apps and websites to help them to learn their letters and sounds. Reading Eggs (http:// readingeggs.co.uk/) is a really fun interactive website for learning sounds and letters, they offer a free trial and after that costs around £40 per year. Teach Your Monster To Read (http://www.teachyourmonstertoread.com/) is a similar website and is completely free to subscribe to. The iTunes and Google Play Stores both have hundreds of great apps for school starters, Elmo Loves ABCs was a favourite in our house. What to expect when your child starts school Hopefully you’ll find that your child takes to school like a duck to water, and really enjoys it. My daughter has done some great activities this year – I really don’t remember school being so much fun! If they take a few weeks to settle in don’t worry, I didn’t see any children crying much past the first couple of weeks. I think I saw more mums getting teary than kids. Be prepared to have no idea whatsoever about what your child has done all day. We either get “Can’t remember” or “Playing”. It can be really frustrating, but you will hear bits & pieces when they feel like telling you, usually at bedtime. What you will hear a lot about is what all the other kids have been up. Who was naughty, who cried, who fell over in the playground, and anything but what your own child did!
they want to attend. Having a child at school is like a job in itself. Check out breakfast and after school clubs if you have to work long hours. We do breakfast club and it’s a godsend – she eats a proper breakfast (at home she was having one spoonful of rice crispies if we were lucky), plays for a bit, and the best bit if you ask me is that because we get there before school starts there’s no mad fight for a parking space. Don’t feel guilty if your child has to go to an after school club for a few hours, these days loads of parents do it and from what I’ve heard the kids have a great time. Think about your hours in advance if you think you might need to alter them. If you’re a part timer, spreading your hours over more days might be an option. Or would your employer allow you to work from home one or two days a week? Definitely worth having a chat with your boss, you never know what options they might suggest. If you have an employer that allows flexitime this is definitely worth looking at too. There will be plenty of days that you need to start a bit later or finish a bit earlier so that you can go to the class assembly or a play of some kind.
You can also probably expect to have to get to the school really, really early if you want a chance of parking anywhere near the gates. When it comes to parking, school mums are crazy. Talking of school mums you’ll need to make some mum friends to avoid being ‘billy no mates’ at the gates every day. There will also be endless birthday parties at the weekends so you will need to get to know a few of the other parents. If your child’s new school is anything like ours there will be constant dress up days, sponsored events, homework projects,
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Weddings ~ Christenings ~ Birthday parties ~ Anniversaries Afternoon tea parties ~ Corporate events ~ Pop-up tea and cake parties Traditional finger sandwiches ~ Home made cakes ~ Savouries Nibbles ~ Sweet treats - Traditional drinks Give your guests a day to remember ~ let them enjoy delicious home baking served on delicate bone china, reminiscent of days gone by Email beverley@beverleyscreativecakes.co.uk or call 01725 513758
SUMMERTIME Bev's Pantry “Cooking is my passion but these recipes are the
simplest of recipes even for those who dred the thought of messy baking.
Perfect for getting those five a day into your
kids these summer time smoothies are an ultime parenting favourite!�
THE SMOOTHIE SOLUTIONS
Made by hand... Blended with love...
Strawberries have lots of vitamin C in and are a great sweet treat for your kids!
Smoothies are terrific snacks for kids - full of vitamins and
Sour or unripe mangoes can be used in chutneys or pickles.
nutrients, but colourful and flavourful, too. Smoothies are a great way to get picky eaters eating fruit they mightn't otherwise, and also to make sure your kids get to their five a day!
Milk shakes are very good and wholesome and can be made with fresh fruit. You Will Need: 1 cup of strawberries chopped 2 cups vanilla ice cream 4 tablespoons mascarpone Seeds from half a vanilla pod Additional strawberries to garnish How To: Pulse the strawberries a few times in blender then blend on medium high speed until smooth, about 30 seconds. Add ice cream,mascarpone and vanilla pods seeds to the strawberry puree and blend on medium high speed until smooth, about 30 seconds, Garnish with strawberries if desired. Serve immediately.
WWWSmoothies are a good source of goodness and energy If you have children who do not like fruit or vegetables this is a great way to encourage them to eat them Mango, melon and orange
Cultivated carrots are usually made up of about 88% water, 7% sugar, 1% protein, 1% fibre, 1% ash, and 0.2% fat
You Will Need: 1 ripe mango Half a gala melon 200 ml (7fl oz) orange juice How To: Place the mango and melon flesh in a blender.
Blueberries are a super food – packed with power from their rich blue colour loaded with antioxidants.
dair y be bo free ice Add the orange juice and a couple of crea ught ice cubes., Then puree until smooth foo f r om h m can d sh e o supe ps and s alth rmar o kets me
Mango & Coconut
How To: • Heat oven 180c/160c fan/ gas 4 • Grease and line 20x30 baking tin with two strips of criss-cross baking parchment. • Dry the mango pieces on kitchen roll • And chop into 3cm pieces and put to one side • Place the butter and sugar in a bowl, and whisk until smooth and creamy • Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each one • Use a spatula to fold through the flour and coconut, then the mango pieces and yogurt • Bake for 30 mins until risen and golden. • Cool for 10 mins in the tin. • Transfer to wire rack to cool. • Keeps for 3 days in a tin
You will need: 425g can sliced mango drained 200g butter softened
200g Self raising flour
225g golden castor sugar
50g desiccated coconut, plus three tbsp. for sprinkling
3 large eggs
140 Greek style coconut yogurt
The Questions Section !
SOLVED !!
Q
My son is almost 2 and still breastfeeding on demand during the day and waking once at night for a feed. I am of the opinion that my son will know when he’s ready to let go. But he will be starting nursery next year (he’ll be 2 1/2 by that time) and my husband is worried it will be a huge issue if he’s still breastfeeding then
The decision about how long to breastfeed is a very personal one. If both mother and baby/toddler are enjoying it there is no need to stop at any particular time, though many toddlers, if the decision is left to them, start to become more interested in other things by the time they are about four years old, though it differs from toddler to toddler. Breast-milk contains the very best nourishment that you can give to your child, not to mention antibodies against infection, and its usefulness goes on way beyond babyhood. So congratulations on breastfeeding your little boy for so long. It’s sadly ironic that mums like you, who are giving the very best nourishment to their babies and toddlers, are made to feel embarrassed.
Questions and Answers
Q
My wife left me for another man. I don’t want to lie to my children- ages 9 and 10-but I’m wondering of I’m bringing up her affair too much?
Children really do need to respect both parents. If you are worried that you are bringing up your wife’s behaviour “too much”, chances are you probably are. Try not to criticize your wife. Your children are very young; they will have plenty of time to hear about other people’s behaviour and to judge it. Remember, your child has two parents; disparaging your spouse or exspouse is disparaging one-half of your child
Q
How do I get my kids to stay in bed once they’ve gone up for the night?
Young children often want to stay in the adult world way after they should. Kids need plenty of sleep and parents need their own space and time away from children. Distinguish between being in bed and being in the bedroom, this will help them to realise its not a time for playing. Have a set routine such as ‘quiet time, drink and story’, which signals the end of the day
and stick to it and make bedtime enjoyable and fun so they want to go to bed. Be firm and resist procrastination and cries for ‘one more story’. Most importantly keep up with the hard work and constantly put jacks-in-the-boxes back into their own bedrooms.
TOP TIPS • Leave the door open • Leave on a night light • Skip nap time, but put them to bed sooner (a tired child sleeps well. An over-tired child is restless). • Use a sticker chart • Or you could get this clock that changes colour when they can wake up! Remember that this will be hard and tiring, but if you want your child to stay in their own bed.
Questions and Answers
CONTINUED...
Q
I was very much looking forward to breastfeeding my baby, who is two weeks old. But I am desperate and about to give up. I don’t seem to have enough milk. My nipples are very sore and even bleed sometimes, and my baby just cries and cries. She seems to be hungry and isn’t picking up much weight. My mother said I should stop breastfeeding and give her a bottle. I am devastated because I really want to breastfeed.
The situation that you describe is a very common one if your baby is not latching properly at the breast. If she doesn’t take enough of the areola (dark part) of the breast into her mouth, and just sucks on the nipple itself it creates two problems (a) she is pressing your nipple against the roof of her mouth, which is very painful and can damage your nipples, (b) she is not milking the milk ducts in your breast under the areola, which means she is not able to get very much milk out of your breasts. Because she is not emptying your breasts, your body is not getting the signal “make more milk”, and your milk supply starts to drop off. So the first and most important thing is to make sure that she latches on properly.
What are the signs that your baby hasn’t latched on effectively? Your baby might be wriggly and distracted If it feels painful and your nipples hurt If your baby does not have a good mouthful of breast with more areola from below rather than on top of the nipple or just has your nipple in her mouth Your breasts still feel full at the end of a feed
Q
My youngest son plays with toy guns, is this okay?
Q
I know from experience how disturbing a baby’s cries and screams can be for the whole family. But in fact they are meant to disturb us and to let us know that something important is needed!
My friends suggest he’s spoiled because he is always with me including at my part- time job and may need to learn alone time. How do I know if he’s in pain or just over-indulged? And, if he is over-indulged, are there any suggestions or books to help me?
A seven-month-old baby needs and deserves to have our attention and holding. All babies were held all day and night for thousands of generations. It is only in the last hundred years that we have decided they don’t need this compassionate care any more. I strongly urge you to (a) try an herbal remedy for teething (you can find these at a health food store) and (b) if you don’t already have one, purchase a good sling and use it throughout the day. Wanting to be held (day and night) is a perfectly normal and healthy desire for a seven-month-old baby. His wanting you to hold him is a sure sign that you are doing things right. You have created a close bond with him that will last a lifetime.
My son is 7 months old. He screams (not cries - no tears) every time he is not getting my full attention or being held. This has gone on for at least three weeks. He had colic pretty bad from about 3 weeks until 12 weeks. I suspect he’s teething - he got the first two teeth at 3 1/2 mos.
The Nature V’s Nurture debate is fascinating. It seems no matter how much you ban children playing with toy guns some children will turn a stick into a gun and starting playing. The evidence is unclear whether children playing with toy guns are more likely to be aggressive now, or in the future. Here are some suggestions: - Offer children a variety of toys - Place time-limits on types of play or types of toys used if they are a concern rather than banning them. -Introduce ‘safety rules’ to teach children how to play safely
WANT IT ANSWERED? ASK!
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Alex Taylor, fitness instructor, award winning business woman and a lady who despite it all, still keeps fit!
Mum’s are girls who love fit Alex Taylor Mummy of 2 with number three cooking away, Recent Business women of the year 2016, Pre & Post natal exercise specialist & director of GirlsLoveFit- tells us about her post natal experience & the importance of keeping your body expectations REALISTIC after baby… Just like every women who is blessed with pregnancy, after the excitement & roller-coaster of emotions on confirmation from peeing on the stick Alex’s mind jumped straight to eat well, sleep well, move well all to look after her precious soul growing in her tummy…with all 3 bambinos she had 8 amazing weeks of eating only the best, exercising well & feeling excited to announce the secret she was expecting again…..then the sickness kicked in!!
Followed quickly with SPD…so with all good intentions Alex’s broccoli & exercise schedule totally out the window! She tells us just how it is and how to keep those body blues in check.
B
irth wasn’t as straight forward as I had dreamt (is it ever?) Despite hours of hypnobirthing, relaxation, Pre natal classes, nct blah blah blah I still ended up with a 23hr labour & emergency C-sec & With baby number two 32 hour labour & another emergency C-sec…. My point is…even with all good intentions of eating only the best, exercising safely, preparing for my perfect ‘natural birth’ IT WAS ALL OUT OF MY CONTROL!!!! BOTH TIMES!!! & probably again with baby number three…. Does it matter? no!!! Did i fail? no!! Did I still have happy & healthy babies? YES!!!
BUT I was left with a body i didn’t recognise & in my job body image is pretty damn important!!! So the pressure was on… I remember first time round looking at my tummy & thinking ‘but the baby has been born, why do i still look 6 months pregnant!!!’ No one prepares you for that! & the road to recovery for the ‘average’ women can be LONG!!!! Its not always as simple as ‘if you breast feed you’ll loose weight’ or ‘eat less, exercise more’….Unfortunately I wasn’t one of those mums who was back in their jeans 6 weeks after birth!! But despite hearing almost everyday ‘oh you ll be alright, your so fit you’ll pop straight back into shape’ that wasn’t the case!!! Admittedly with my 1st it happened fairly quickly…by 6 months i was confident in my own skin again With number 2 I was a complete physical mess post birth!! It was 2 years before I felt the same confidence about my body but the second time round I was much more prepared & actually enjoyed the journey! In both experiences i reached my goal but the second time I ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT!!! YES ENJOYED IT! I documented every little step to keep my focus, started completely from
Babies and bonding... what’s the excuse if you can bring baby with you?
Alex two years post baby number two.
Pilates, Body conditioning, Buggyfun & more… Also, if i was having ‘one of those days’ i was surrounded by other mummies who knew exactly how it felt to be up half the night, put shoes in the fridge & toothbrush in the bin!!! It made all those things feel OK! Mums Love Fit classes has become its only little community of lovely mums who look out for each other when someone is in need!!! scratch & it made my entire post natal experience COMPLETELY different & so much more positive!!! So what did i do? I PRACTICED WHAT I PREACH…i listened to my body & i took it one step at a time!!!
post baby again its so important to find classes that are specially designed for the post natal body!!! There are so many things to consider… your pregnancy, your birth, previous injuries, hormones including relaxin levels which effects all the joints in your body, posture, abdominal separation… the list goes on…the last thing you want is to cause yourself an injury through exercise!! Find a qualified post natal exercise specialist…
1. Both times I waited 6 weeks before even considering an exercise class!!! This is so important for the post natal body! Not only because of the risk of haemorrhage after birth but because you must not forget your body has created an entire person followed by the trauma of The best thing about mumslovefit classes is birth! No matter what type of birth you had…. not only do you feel safe & confident your experienced & qualified instructor can assist you 2. I started attending the Mums Love Fit classes… every step of the way, but baby gets to come too!!! yes I created Mums Love Fit but my amazing No excuses!! All the classes are run within a totally instructors were running them for me, so this gave relaxed environment so on the days ‘feeding on me an opportunity to be on the other side! To demand’ became every 20vmins i could just sit & experience what my clients experience when they feed not feeling like i had to hide away & there’s so work with us! If your planning on starting exercise much to choose from
3. I started the ‘Mums Love Fit’ back 2 fitness programme. Again i wrote it, but this time i was following it!!! B2F is a 4 week holistic nutrition & lifestyle programme completely breastfeeding friendly to support the post natal body back to health & well being. Yes inch loss is a by product but its more about making positive lifestyle choices that fits with you & your baby during a very precious time!!! 9 months later i started back into my own training for competition & felt stronger than I’ve ever felt!!!! No injuries, no worries!! When Austin turned 2 i finally had the confidence in my mind & body & felt my post natal experience was the best i could of made it! So ladies, forget about pressure to ‘get back into shape’, listen to YOUR body & make positive choices for you & your baby!!!! Its only a short time & most importantly keep it real and love yourself!
The smallest things take up the most room in our heart
Baby’s first year • Newborn (2 - 3 weeks old) • Baby
(5 - 6 months old)
• Toddler
(11 - 13 months old)
Call 01722 320500 studio@johnrosephotography.com
L U F E C A A PE E C R O V I D
ING S ARE MAK IT L P S B E HOW L ROFILE CE E, BUT FOR R -P A H Y IG E H H T E Y SOM NAST FUL FOR HOW IS A PEACE T O O S . N E S B W O E T N PERT Y A PPE A R US? AN EX E F H O T T L S E IA R D COR L. R THE HAPPEN IR OSSIBLE FO P IT E E C K R A O M IV D TO S FOR HOW SHARES TIP High-profile Hollywood splits are nothing new. But recently, A-list couples like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, and Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale have publicly stated that while their marriages may be ending, they plan to put their children first and focus on co-parenting. These celebrity parents seem to embody the peaceful divorce of the future, at least in the public eye. But how possible is this really, for the average couple? “For better or for worse, people do look to celebrities as role models,” Dr. Gail Saltz, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital, says. Parents may wonder, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do that?” Of course, we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Jean Bunker, a Washington, D.C. health care exec, admits that ending her six year marriage to her former husband wasn’t easy, especially since they shared a 17-month-old son. “There were many tears and more than a few fights,” she says. But then the couple had an ‘aha’ moment. “We realized that no matter what, our son was at the center of our worlds. We would always be linked by this beautiful child we created together,” Bunker says. “That became a common ground that allowed us to finalize our divorce in peace, and effectively co-parent as a team.” Their rule was simple. “We always put our son first. Period. If you stick to that discipline, it really helps diffuse tensions and makes decisions easier. It’s not about me. Or [my husband]. It’s about [our son].” In fact, Dr. Saltz says, it’s the couples who are able to separate their roles as parents from the tension and hurt feelings they are experiencing from the marriage ending that have the most amicable divorces. Of course, that’s easier said than done.
“Even if you came to a mutual agreement that you didn’t want to stay married, and neither has seriously betrayed or rejected the other person, it’s still sad. It’s still a loss,” Dr. Saltz says. Sadly, kids often become the vehicle through which parents express those hurt feelings. They will speak poorly about the other parent, or try to keep a child away from him or her, even if harm isn’t happening. But children “need to feel they have two loving parents,” Dr. Saltz says, so another rule of the peaceful divorce is to avoid bad-mouthing your ex in front of your kids. “It’s not good for your child to say bad things about the parent, or withhold them from the parent, or make yourself seem so preferable,” Dr. Saltz says. She suggests finding another outlet for your hurt feelings, like a therapist, or a friend who is not in the other parent’s circle. And although you may be tempted to vent to multiple family members and friends, resist the urge. “Little ears hear you,” Dr. Saltz cautions. Even comments that start with discipline and intention can set a negative tone and extend to others who spend time with your child, like grandparents. Ultimately, parents need to remember that divorce is a terrible loss to children as well. “Divorce ends the narrative that family was going to have,” says Dr. Saltz. She advises parents to explain to their child that even though the two of them aren’t going to stay married, their relationship with their child will never change, and they will always love him or her. Even if they eventually remarry. “You are still coparents of you kids,” says Dr. Saltz. Her advice: Don’t set up a parent versus step-parent dynamic. Listen to everyone’s point of view. Validate how someone might be feeling a
certain way, even if you don’t agree with them. Maintaining traditions you once enjoyed together helps to reinforce that some things about your family will remain the same, even after divorcing and creating new families. Key times when a child is most likely to feel sad, such as birthdays and holidays, are especially important to celebrate as a family. Dr. Saltz adds that children find real comfort in the repetition of traditions the family shared, even if it’s something as simple as taking a hayride to find a pumpkin at Halloween, or going on a picnic each year for a birthday. These traditions remind kids that although the marriage may have died, the ethos did not. That’s something Paltrow, the queen of “conscious uncoupling,” and Martin have clearly made a priority; they spent time together with their two kids recently for Mother’s Day and even vacationed in Mexico as a family. “It’s been hard, and you know, like, we’ve gone through really difficult times with it,” she revealed at BlogHer’s 2015 conference, “but we’ve always said, ‘These children are our priority.’ What that really means is, ‘Even though today, you hate me and you never want to see me again, like, we’re going to brunch, ‘cause it’s Sunday and that’s what we’ll do!’” This approach has worked for Bunker, too. “My son just recently celebrated his 12th birthday,” she said. “We all celebrated together: me, my husband, my former husband (I don’t say ‘ex’) and his lovely new wife.” But don’t think the arrangement is always smooth sailing. “There are certainly challenges, and times I get frustrated—even angry. Those emotions are normal. But, we successfully broke the negative pattern that ended our marriage and created a new pattern as co-parents of a really amazing young man.”
good morning exercise
Photo by John Rose Photography
Beachbum season, we all know we want the body, but do we ever go out and actually get it? Alot of us dont have time but you dont need a swanky gym pass and lululemon leggins to take on a healthier lifestyle and get the body you want. Take on my home and holiday exercises to condition and define your Bum, Tum and Thighs. Toby Giles - Personal Fitness Instructor
Kickbacks – Targets Bum Start by supporting your body with your hands and knees. Lift one knee off of the floor by 1-2 inches (this is your starting position). Slowly push your heel/ sole towards the ceiling breathing out at the same time, hold at the top for 1 -2 seconds before returning your knee to the starting position. Complete 1020 repetitions on each leg.
2. Leg Raise – Targets Bum & Core Staying in the same position as the kickbacks start by supporting your body on your hands and knees. Straighten your leg out behind you keeping your hips level with the floor. Keeping your leg straight take your toes to the floor. This is your starting position. Take a breath in and then exhale as you raise your toes keeping your leg straight, hold your leg for 1-2 seconds when parallel with the body then return to the start whilst breathing in. Complete 10-20 repetitions on each leg.
3. Chair Squat – Targets Bum, Thighs & Lower Back Stand up straight in front of a chair with your feet flat on the floor and shoulder width apart. Extend your arms out in front of you or place your hands on your hips. Slowly squat down as if you are going to sit on the chair keeping your head up, back straight and keeping your knees behind your toes. Sit on the chair for 1 second and then extend legs to standing position whilst exhaling. This is 1 repetition. Complete 10-20 repetitions. Increase the intensity and progression of the workout by just hovering 1” above the chair as you squat instead of sitting or even remove the chair completely. The Body Lounge Foundation
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4. Forward Lunges – Targets Bum and Thighs Standing with feet a little less than shoulder width apart take a long stride forward with your left foot to a split stance. Keeping your head up, shoulders back and back straight, breath in and slowly take your right knee down towards the floor, allowing your right heel to come off of the ground. Keep your left knee inline with your left shin. When your right leg is parallel with the floor hold for 1-2 seconds exhale as you return to the start. This is 1 repetition. Complete 10-20 repetitions on each leg. Increase the intensity and progression of the workout by holding a bottle of water in each hand.
IMAGES BY JOHN ROSE PHOTOGRAPHY/MODEL LISA MORRELL FITNESS INSTRUCTOR
5. Chair Crunch – Targets Abdominals and Thighs Sit on the edge of a chair holding the arms or seat for support. Extend your legs fully so that your heels are touching the floor, lean back slightly keeping your back straight and breath in. Slowly bring your knees up towards your chest whilst exhaling, hold at the top for 1-2 seconds and then slowly take your heels back down to the floor. This is 1 repetition. Complete 5-15 repetitions.
6. Classic Crunch – Targets Abdominals Lie with your back and feet on the floor with your knees slightly bent and shoulder width apart. Place your hands behind your head, don’t clasp your fingers and keep your chin off your chest. Lift your shoulders and chest off of the floor (about 3”) toward your knees and breath out, hold for 1-2 Seconds and then return your shoulders to the floor whilst breathing in. This is 1 repetition. Complete 5-15 repetitions
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18 MONTHS He may speak just a few words but is likely to know about 50
TODDLER TALK Toddler speak is a language all of its own, but there are ways to encourage your child to speak and grow their speech development. Did he actually just say “nana”? Does that mean “Banana” or “Panda”? The first words that your child mutters are typically heard around 12 months and as a parent they will stop you in your tracks, but what happens if he is taking longer to develop his speech than his little baby friends are? There is no cause for concern or need to panic if your bundle of joy is talking longer to develop his speech than his peers.
18 TO 24 MONTHS
May speak a few words, his vocabulary should consist of about 200 words
Speech delays are the most The best way to encourage common of all children your child to talk is developmental delays. to read to your child ALOT. Then if he still Most late talkers will catch hasn’t uttered a word by up by the time they get 18 months, talk to your to school at 4 years old health visitor or GP, early and a reassuring study in therapy can make a huge Australia a few years go difference in your child’s found that a group of 4 development and could year olds by the time they be related to something reached school level didn’t else which your GP will 25 TO 36 experience any greater check, like hearing. Most MONTHS behavioural or emotional late talkers are normally Your child knows problems that those of just catching up on their more verbal friends developmental skills but if 300 words and is of the same age. you are worried speak to getting the hang of pronunciations your health visitor.
Tower talk Break out the building blocks and get your hard hat on! Helping your child stack these classic toys may build better language skills and according
to a study from the American university of Washington, researchers found that talking to your child about what your doing with the blocks enhances
their growing vocabulary more than any video or TV programme will! Keep up a running commentary as you stack the blocks and don’t just stop there.
Playing any kind of pretend game when playing with your toddler will help to engage their brain, forming those critical connections
Katie Taylor talks.
BEYOND MUM Becoming an aunt is completely out of one’s control. When your sister or sister-in-law becomes a mom, you become an aunt. There is no life planning or great thought put into this occasion: basically, it just happens! And it changes your life. On Boxing Day 2015 my niece entered the world. My little sister became a mummy and for the first time and I became an auntie. Once December arrived the excitement and anticipation of my sister going into labour, for me, was immense. I turned into the constant texting, calling, whatsapping signs of labour watching obsessive that only those who have given birth will understand. Add in the heightened sense of wanting to protect my little sister from the pain of labour and birth and the overwhelming urge to just hug her every time I saw her was off the scale. My sister and I have always been close, but not this close. In the 8 years since I first became a mum and she became an auntie she has had a fantastic relationship with my boys, supporting me through separation and divorce and my new relationship with my now husband, but now it was her turn to be pregnant I don’t think she ever fully understood the life changing event that stood in front of her. Who does? As soon as she announced her pregnancy I almost burst with pride. I hadn’t felt that same punch of happiness in our relationship, since the day I watched her graduate from university. It felt like a milestone, an event that connected us again as family and strengthened our relationship. Throughout the 9 months that followed she would ask me many questions about pregnancy, the usual questions that run through a first time mums head and I was only too pleased to offer my support or advice. No two pregnancies are the same but I did what I could to reassure her. 25th December 2015 a week passed her due date my sister went into labour. All was going smoothly, I was furiously texting her husband who despite my sister later telling me he was in a real state was appearing calm and collected and updated me as and when he could as to her progress. I spent all of Christmas day in a real panic, I think I drove my husband mad with my constant ‘what ifs and maybes’. Having been through two very similar labours both with tense moments with my boys I couldn’t help but think about my baby sister, imagining all sorts of horrors instead
of focussing on the end result; the birth of my first niece or nephew. Around 7am on Boxing Day my brave and beautiful sister gave birth to my amazing niece. My heart was racing all I wanted to do was squeeze my sisters hand as I had done when we were children to reassure her and tell her how proud I was of her. Walking onto the ward to meet my niece and give my sister the biggest of hugs I had butterflies in my stomach. All the worry had not been necessary both of them were safe and in one piece and looked very calm. The waves of pride rushed back to me and I burst into tears. Tears of happiness, of pride and this overwhelming love for this new born bundle. Standing in that postnatal ward it felt as though something had suddenly changed between me and my sister. We were now not only sisters but mothers and that united us in a different way. I didn’t stay long, just long enough to say what needed to be said then leave mother and baby to bond. In the days and weeks that followed we had a variety of conversations on an array of new born related topics, for the most part via text as like most mums she didn’t have enough hands to hold the phone, jiggle baby, undo clothing to access boobs, boil the kettle for the hundredth time that day. It felt nice, it felt like a part of our relationship had been unlocked once she gave birth. She was beginning to understand this balancing act that is called motherhood and I was able to look on, offer advice, a shoulder to cry on and bond with my new niece. Becoming an auntie for me has been like a whole new world has begun for me a real lease of new life. At the huge risk of this turning into a huge cheese fest of epic proportions, the point I guess I am trying to make is that as much as I love being a mum, being an auntie comes a really close second. There is the bond between a mother and her child then there is the bond created between a niece and auntie. I hadn’t even thought I would feel like this, so many over the top emotions, the desire to help with too much enthusiasm sometimes – I’m sure my sister would agree with me here. This is how I would sum up my first almost 6 months of auntie hood. As my new niece approaches 6 months of age this month I’d like to think I have taught my sister something about parenting. My dad once told me you don’t truly learn to drive until you have passed your test. My view is that the same can be said about parenting, you don’t know what being a parent is until you have a child under your roof 24/7!
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"SUMMER SCHOOL SWEETHEART" The government are in the process of amending the school admissions process, so that “summer born children” are able to start school later. My little girl is getting ready to start school in September. In truth, she’s been impatient to get to school since last September, when her friends from nursery left for Big School. Four years ago, when she was a tiny, jaundiced, premature baby I could not imagine that this day would ever come. People would show me photos of their big, bolshy older children and tell me they were premature, I just couldn’t see that my teeny tiny baby would grow into that. But, grow into it she has.
The Department for Education’s change to the school calendar for summer-born children is an example of a policy that attempts to solve a problem by literally putting the clock back, making April into the new September.
Minister Nick Gibb Says "As part of our plan to extend social justice and opportunity, we want all children to have an equal chance to excel in school regardless of when they are born"
The government are in the process of amending the school admissions process, so that “summer born children” are able to start school later. Although most children start reception year in the September after their fourth birthday, they don’t legally have to be in school until they are five. At that point it’s the decision of the local authority as to which school year the child will join. The schools minister Nick Gibb has said that he is changing this rule though. Under the new rules, those deemed “summer born” will be able to delay starting school until the following September - so for those born in August, instead of starting school when they’re only just four, they’ll be the oldest in their reception year at just over five. Sounds great, right? I read more into it, and found that the definition Mr Gibb is using for “summer born children” is children born between April 1st and August 31st. Since my daughter was born in April, she is classed as “summer born.” I distinctly remember the weather on the day she was born, and it was definitely not summer, but there you go! When I read all of this, I started to wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t have looked into whether I could delay her starting school. I’ve Googled it a lot, but all I could find were articles saying the rules were changing - nothing to say when, or to which school intake year it would apply. I wondered if I had been remiss in just filling in the online application for her school; should I have checked more thoroughly? Should I have waited, and let her join next September’s reception year? Then I had a reality check. I cannot imagine turning around to my daughter and saying “oh no sweetheart, you’re not starting Big School until next September!” I think that might just be grounds for a very large tantrum! My daughter loves nursery; she looks forward to going there, she’s made some brilliant friends and is in actual love with her keyworker. I will probably cry on her last day, because I love it
VICKY CHARLES
Summer-born children are at risk of behaviour problems and poor academic attainment in their first year at school unless the curriculum is tailored to take their needs into account. - According to research.
there too. But she is ready for school, and desperate to go. More to the point, if they’re saying that children born between April and August can delay starting school, does that mean nurseries will have to keep them for an extra year? If I decided to delay her starting school would I have to beg nursery to keep her on? Or would there be some sort of clause somewhere that they’re not able to keep children on past school age, and we’d spend a year out in the wilderness, with me desperately trying to keep her entertained in the same way nursery has for three years now? And what about the logistics of paying for nursery? If I kept my daughter out of school for a year, would she still be entitled to the free 15 hours she currently gets each week at nursery? Would I still be able to claim Tax Credits to pay for childcare? Again, I’m left imagining an entire year where I try desperately to run a business whilst also entertaining a five year old. Not a winning combination! Of course, it’s all academic for us since I don’t think my nerves would survive a conversation with my daughter that involved her not being allowed to start school in September. Last August my daughter was already in the pre-school room at nursery, and saw her friends leaving to go to Big School. We went through a couple of weeks where every morning she protested that she didn’t want to go to nursery; she wanted to go to Big School like her friends! This wasn’t helped by the fact that we often pass her friend on the street as we make our way to nursery, and she goes off to school in her smart new uniform. My daughter is desperate to join her friends! At first when she asked about going to Big School, I would tell her that she would join her friends when she was four. But then she turned four, and remembered the conversation we’d had more than six months previously. “I’m four now; can I go to Big School?” She’s so desperate to get there, I don’t think I’ll need an alarm clock for the entire first term!
But what happens when these new rules about admissions do become widespread? If nurseries and tax credits are not included in the changes, will children just spend a year elsewhere? Since it’s not a universal change but rather down to the parents’ choice, there will undoubtedly be some parents - like me - who wouldn’t dare try and delay their child’s starting reception year for fear of the tantrum to end all tantrums. In which case,
a reception year would then contain children whose ages range a full seventeen months - from those who’ve just turned four to those who are five-and-a-half. Are we going to do something to help reception teachers cope with such a wide gap, when everyone already knows the developmental gap between the oldest and youngest in a normal class is already fairly vast. There are lots of statistics out there about how “summer born babies” fare worse in exams - all those endless exams they keep forcing the children to take presumably just so that the come up with random statistics like this! I was talking to my mum about the whole situation the other day, and the fact that with a birthday in June, I was one of the youngest in my class throughout school and “it didn’t do me any harm!” She told me that actually, I was bored at nursery and she ended up having to speak to the school and have them let me in early. Like mother, like daughter it seems… which means in a few years I’m going to have a heck of a teenage problem to deal with…
WEEK BY WEEK PREG If you have just found out you are pregnant or you are still trying to conceive, you have questions about what to expect. How will your body change? What's happening? How big is my baby? Our week-by-week guide will help you through your nine months of pregnancy so you can be a smarter, more confident mummy to be!!
WEEK 8 - Your Baby At eight weeks your baby is around two centimetres long now – still minuscule, but growing and developing every day. At this point in your pregnancy your baby is growing at around 1 millimetre per day, and the amniotic fluid in your womb increases by two tablespoons a week. After week eight your baby is officially called a ‘foetus’ which means ‘offspring’, but is still getting nutrition from the yolk sac rather than the placenta. Over the next few weeks the placenta will develop, forming structures called ‘chorionic villi’ which help attached the placenta to the womb wall. Your baby’s tiny little fingers and toes will have formed, though right now they are webbed and will continue to be so for several weeks, and their heart will be beating an amazing 160 beats a minute! Your baby’s lungs are developing this week, with the breathing tube extending from the throat to the lungs, while in their brain nerve cells are branching out and connecting to form primitive neutral pathways. This week your baby’s skin is still paper thin, and it still has that almost transparent, embryonic look. The colour pigment in their eyes is also starting to form at around eight weeks, but they won't properly open them until around 26 weeks, while their eyelids almost completely cover their eyes at this point.
WEEK 8 - Mummy-to-be Eight weeks in and although you won't have a visible bump yet, your womb is already be twice its normal size! You might find this causes you to wee more often as it presses down on your bladder – get used to it, it's going to get a lot bigger yet! You no doubt have your booking appointment in place now, and might be thinking about all the things you want to talk to the midwife about, such as antenatal screening tests. If you're eager to find out your due date our pregnancy due date calculator will give you a good idea before your first scan. You're probably still feeling pretty exhausted at this point, too, and needing your rest and plenty of sleep. Go for it! Don't try and fight it if you are worn out. If your morning sickness is still making getting up and about difficult in the morning, check out our morning sickness page for some ideas to make it a little more bearable.
GNANCY CALENDER
PREGNANCY CALENDER
WEEK 9 - Your Baby As you enter week 9 your baby will transition from the embryonic stage to the foetal period. At this point they’ll be about one inch long and the size of a large bean or olive. Your baby's organs, nerves and muscles are all starting to function now and although you won’t be able to feel it, their tiny heart is now beating strong enough to be picked up by ultrasound devices like a Doppler, although this isn’t always possible depending on the position of your baby in the uterus. Their ears are also starting to develop, and their eyelids are now in place but will be fused shut until week 26. Meanwhile their little fingers and toes are starting to change from being titchy buds into actual digits.
WEEK 9 -Mummy-to-be By week nine, you might be finding your waistbands are getting a bit uncomfortable, even if you don't have a proper 'bump' on board! If you are still having waves of nausea at certain times of the day, the last thing you want is restrictive clothing around your tum, so go for stretchy, breathable fabric whenever possible, and make leggings, or jeggings and longer tops your friend! You might also be finding your bras are getting a bit tight as your breasts increase in size – although you probably won't want or need a maternity bra just yet, it might be an idea to get measured for some well fitting and comfortable bras to see you through this transitional stage. Your first appointment with your midwife is probably happening in the next few days or weeks – have you got a list of questions for her, or any niggles or concerns you want to flag up? Why not connect with other mums on our community boards to share experiences of these early weeks?
We would love to hear your pregnancy journey's! Share your stories and pictures with us! Post them on facebook, twitter or instagram and tag us or email us privately for a chance to be in with winning a mumma-to-be pamper hamper!
BUBBLE R
ECIPE
1/2 cup of dish detergent (wa shing up liqu id)
1
5 cup s water (sof t water is bes t - if you r water is ver y hard con side r using dist illed or bot tled water)
3
2
2 ta ble sp oo ns glyce rine (av ail able at th e ph ar macy or su pe rm ar ke t). Yo u ca n subs tit ute light co rn sy ru p (n ot go lde n sy ru p!)
M ix th e ing re die nt s to ge th er ve ry ca re fu lly, so o th at yo u th ey do n’t ge t to bubbly. Po ur int o st orage e, co nt ainers an d, if po ss ibl . leave over night to ble nd
Other
GO! ties
tivi c A y l b Bub
• Put some music on and pretend to be bubbles, blowing about in the wind • Try catching a bubble on a wet finger, and then on a dry finger. What do you notice? It should be much easier if your finger is wet. Why? • Add bubble bath to a plastic basin of water and whisk it up to create lots of small bubbles - or better still, give the kids a handheld whisk and let them do it! Play with the bubbles
s e r u t p h Scul
Beac
Next time you visit the beach, comb the shores with your children to gather supplies for your own spectacular beach sculptures! Please note that very strong glue is needed to make these sculptures, which, for safety, should only be handled by adults.
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Sh el ls, pe bble s, dr if t woo d, or any in te re st ing bi ts fo un d al ong th e be ach St ro ng gl ue (we us e a ho t gl ue gu n)
ach to co lle ct Ta ke a wa lk alo ng th e be eres ting some bit s. Lo ok wh at int Br ing th e be st sh ap es th at yo u ca n fin d. th yo u. of yo ur co lle ct ion home wi
3
2
Arrange you r bits int o the sha pe that you like . Older childre n, carefu lly sup erv ised , can glue the ir cre atio ns togeth er. You nge r childre n sho uld ask an adu lt to glue the m togeth er. Leave to dry.
1
a id s (o r R ibb on s a n d br r you ngpi pe clea ners fo er k id s)
3
S c is s o rs a n
De co rati on s such as lk be ad s, pl as tic or si c ca n et flo wers, st ic ke rs be us ed if yo u lik e.
5
FLIP FLOP FUN
An a s s o rt me n t o f c a rd , p a p e w ra pp ing r, pa f o am , e tc p e r (g if t w ra p), c r af t
2 d g lue
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Tem plate
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H OW T
Print out a Flip Flop Template online and cut out the individual pieces. Younger kids will just need a bigger pair of flip flops; older kids will want to use both. Using the larger t wo templates, draw round them onto the craft foam and carefully cut out. An adult should pierce three holes in the flip flops where shown on the template (we used a pencil, but you could also use nail scissors or a metal skewer or bradawl). Use t wo pipe cleaners per flip flop, bending the pipe cleaner backwards on the underneath of the flip flop to hold it in place. Further decorated your flip flops by cutting a small circle of craft foam and threading the pipe cleaners through that as well, and also by threading beads onto the pipe cleaner before pushing it through the second hold.
DRAW - WRITE - SMILE Crayon Rocks® are a fantastic creative tool for children. They work to encourage, develop and strengthen the tripod grip, due to their ergonomic shape. They simply can’t be held in a closed fist! The minute a little one picks a Crayon Rock up, they are using the correct tripod grip, or pencil grip, and are preparing their hands for writing. Because of how wonderfully tactile and easy to use they are, they have also proved brilliant for children with learning or physical difficulties, like dyspraxia, cerebral palsy and autism. Furthermore, our crayons are fun! They are bright and bold, and produce fabulous deep colours. Older children enjoy using them to all different effects, or with Rubeez to add pattern and texture to their drawings. Made of US-grown soy wax, a sustainable resource unlike the usual paraffin or petroleum wax, they are 100% non-toxic, and their shape means that they don’t break easily, unlike other crayons. Mineral pigments are added to give them their gorgeous colours. They really are a super-crayon!
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It’s thin, very portable, and keeps you connected to the world through the front-facing camera, ultra-fast web browsing, email, Facebook integration and Skype. The Kindle Fire HD can even optimise the audio profile depending on whether you’re talking on Skype, watching a movie or listening to music. Plus, there’s tons of storage space
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HOW TO ENTER! 1 - Find us on twitter @ salisparenting 2 - Send us your favourite family selfie tagging us with the hashtag #salisburyparentingcomp 3 - Like and retweet our pinned tweet 4 - Sit back and wait for the winner to be announced. Closing date 28th August 2016 Competition is open to all UK readers.
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