SALISBURY
ISSUE 003 MAY 2016 £2
PARENTING PND DADDY. What is Postnatal Depression in fathers. What to look for and how to help
CHURCH IN THE COMMUNITY St Thomas takes on Salisbury with their child friendly events and plans.
TERRIBLE TWOS TAKE ON TEENAGER TANTRUMS!
WEAR WITH LOVE! Beauties and bobas! The the benefits and new style in baby wearing
May Time MADNESS LETS GO OUTSIDE!
Discover the magic in some of Salisbury’s oldest ruins!
The fun starts here...
Salisbury Parenting
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A family portrait; the gift that lasts a lifetime! “Really enjoyed our family Photoshoot at Johns studio, it was the perfect
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atmosphere for lots of laughing” .
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Call 01722 320500 portraits@johnrosephotography.com 2
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› Amazing memories
Salisbury Parenting. Editor: Charlotte Hagyard Editor@charlotterosemag.co.uk Cover Design: C.R.P LIMITED Contributors: Molly Cook, Charlotte Sidwick, Sarah Cronshaw, Toby Giles, Beverley Barter, Martyn Kitney, Vicky Charles Publisher: Charlotte Rose Publications Ltd Printer: Priority mailing and digital print dave.macey@priority.co.uk Photographer: John Rose Photography Ltd Studio@johnrosephotography.com
Maytime madness! What an exciting last month for the Salisbury Parenting team! We've doubled the print run AGAIN for this month due to high demand and great feedback and if you want even more excitement, we have just launched our very own APP available for FREE in the Apple appstore and on android and since our readership has tripled!
Managing Director: John Rose Managing Director: Charlotte Hagyard
Spring has sprung and I love it! I’m not a weather person but lets face
@CR_Publications
evenings to go exploring after our hibernating duvet days. The sun stays
www.salisburyparenting.co.uk www.charlotterosemag.co.uk
SPRING IN YOUR STEP for our top tips on how to make the most of the
(c) All rights are reserved. May not be reproduced without written permission of Charlotte Rose Publications Limited
it, British weather is shocking! Spring means new beginnings, later out and we can spend more time together as a family! Take a look at spring time moods; go out and explore, in this issue you'll discover lots of things about the city that you didn’t even know existed, from castle ruin tours to kiddy club at the city's biggest church, its why in this issue we have shown you a little more of what our spectacular city has to offer!
This month weve mixed things up and thrown caution to the wind with the changes but dont be alarmed, we are still the same honest... if not to honest parenting magazine. VICKY CHARLES writes about nature vs nurture and how her daughter has helped her life. We join Martyn Kitney and take a look into POSTNATAL DEPRESSION IN DADS, a topic most men shy away from or dont even know is a condition! Everyone, including myself when i was pregnant gets so wrapped up in what happens with the bump and we find ourselves comparing our growing babies to the sizes of common fruit, but as a first time mum about to hit labour, do you really know what happens AFTER THE BIRTH, crotch care 101 takes on a humourous side of how to take care of yourself after a vaginal delievery. Find COMPETITIONS on page 47 and AMY TAYLOR YOGA discounts on 24!
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ISSUE 004/APRIL 8
We love this! Salisbury Parentings own picks on what’s hot and what’s not! We take a look at toys and what budget suits what age...
18 Q&A Quiz me! We have the
answers to the questions you’ve asked.
6
7
47
10
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Mums on the go. Lets get social. SHARE YOUR STORIES OR ASK YOUR QUESTIONS THROUGH OUR SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS Structure meets magic Princesses and knights reunite! Discover Salisbury’s magical ruins with these fun history based days out. Competition time Enter our cover cutie competition to be featured as the face of Salisbury Parenting. Most Wanted We all love sleep but as a mum its a rarity! Find out what gadget we’ve found to enable a sleep full night!
34 Spring in your step. Being happy is as impor tant as drinking water. Its a life necessity. Follow our idea's to get the best of your mood and put that spring back in your step.
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Crotch care 101 The truth about what's up down there after your vaginal delivery. One mum tells it how it is.
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Church gone community St Thomas church opens its doors to the families of Salisbury with plans to excite.
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Baby boba lover Sarah of Slingtastic shop shares her love of slings and why its such a parenting necessity... or is it just a tool?
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Modern technology.. Modern mum. 30's something mum Sarah discusses technology, can we live without it as parents?
The best before books
42 Love and relationships The biological clock and
all its cogs, does it really exist or is it just an excuse?
44 Pregnancy Calendar Congratulations! Your nearly at the end of your first trimester. Check
out your week by week pregnancy calendar for baby updates and mummy news.
28 Nature or nurture?
Is your child's behaviour down to mother nature and genes or your parenting?
We look at the best 9 classic children’s books before the year2000
• • • • •
y WITH your bab Back to fitness with es for the mums rcis exe es bin Com babies the for ties ivi act s and tums Toned legs, bum ess instructors, fitn by ped Develo ms midwives and mu s, ist rap the physio s ies from 3 month bab h wit ms For mu
Now in Romsey, Eastleigh and Chandler’s Ford!
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Don’t miss out! Book today! www.fitdankbaby.co.uk
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Bev's Bakery Barbecue bites for those picky eaters! Healthy BBQ burgers and more.
35
The pursuit to happiness Daddy and fitness guru Toby on how its important to be happy, for your health!
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Sad Dad We’ve all heard of PND but can men get it too? How to look for it and how to treat it!
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Photography pro...Toddler Salisbury Photographer John Rose gives us tips on getting the lasting memory picture with a smart phone.
24
Pregnancy Yoga for yummy mummy’s Charlotte Hagyard talks to Amy Taylor about bump bonding and her new pregnancy classes at Sarum Academy!
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Letter to my threenager Mum to one shares a heart written comical letter to her tantrum throwing toddler.
40
Make it... Make spring bouquets with this simple craft to do. Perfect for the rainy day activity.
41
Craft Essentials Every arty person needs a craft box. Glitter glue to modelling clay, Find out what you need for yours and get creating.
St Thomas Church.. a quiet town church or a main pillar of the community as we know it? Find out on page 14.
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WHAT’S
ON...
ALL THE EVENTS YOU’LL NEED FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THIS MONTH.
SMeets tructure Magic
Go hands on with history and let them explore the historical magic that lives right on your doorstep! Princesses stuck in towers and knight's circling the castle doesn’t have to be imaginary, free your child’s imagination with a history trip to Old Sarum castle. With acres of surrounding grounds take a picnic and enjoy a family day out discovering 5,000 years of history at your fingertips! The stone henge tour bus is a fab day out for not only tourists but also for locals alike, see your home town from a whole new perspective and take the family on a journey back in time! On the tour you can journey back in time to discover the magnificent
Stonehenge, probably the most sophisticated stone circle in the world. Their hop-on hop-off tour picks up in Salisbury city centre and runs to Old Sarum, through the beautiful Wiltshire countryside to the magnificent, magical Stonehenge. You can buy an all-in-one ticket that gives you priority entrance to Stonehenge and its visitor centre as well as the tour and Salisbury Cathedral, or just pay for the bus tour and enjoy the ride through the Wiltshire landscape, a day out for the entire family to enjoy and remember!
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WE
LOVE THIS !
We all buy toys in abundance and theres no shortage to choose from, but what ones do you really need for the right age?
Toy Time
Sophie The Giraffe teething rattle Toys-R-Us £8.99 Tiny love mobile.
0-6 MONTHS
Kiddicare.com
In the first few months of your new babies life, they wont actively play... Its true, they just eat, sleep and poop! But you can help to promote their growing senses with toys that stimulate and encourage your baby’s natural curiosity as he/she grows. Toys that are colourful with lots of patterns and textures with sounds will encourage your baby on their way to a healthy development
£39.95
Wooden stacking birds £8.00 ELC
Lamaze see me, hear me butterfly by Lamaze Baby will love the Lamaze Flutterby Photo Album! This fun photo album for babies is a butterfly soft toy that not only stores photos, but also voice messages ensuring loved ones are never too far away £18.50 www.alza.com 8
Salisbury Parenting
The Bear Necessities 6-12 MONTHS Motor skills should be kicking in about now, so now is the time to invest in a baby gym or/and activity play mat. Baby gyms and bouncers are great for teaching baby how to hold their weight and strengthen their leg muscles whilst baby play mats are great for encouraging baby to roll over, place a ball near them and they will be encouraged to move and roll around after it!
Sensory ball pit £25.00 ELC
Wooden kitchen
12-18 MONTHS
toddler walker!
Up and about! At about a year old your baby should be up walking and having fun. Try to invest in toys that will encourage them to walk, and if they aren’t walking yet, buy toys such as a walker or push along wooden toy to encourage them and strengthen their little leg muscles ready for them to run loops round you!
ELC
Beginning around the third month, a baby’s increased alertness to his surroundings make him aware that he and his mother are not one but actually two separate people, to help this situation and separation anxiety in your baby and even toddlers, you may introduce a 'comforter' or a teddy bear/toy that your child may attach to, where he/she feels safe. You will find that your child may use her or his comforter in stressful situations such as being away from mum or in a new surrounding with new people, especially around 3 months old when separation anxiety is likely to kick in. A comforter can be anything but strictly speaking it tends to be something soft and/ or that smells like mum or dad will usually be the object they attach to, a teddy bear or soft snuggle blanket they can use to soothe themselves.
£45.00
At this age you can also introduce more complex puzzles and shape sorters for your little on, this will help their mental development as well as defining their fine motor skills.
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Most Wanted!
The new parenting must haves that no one tells you about!
Sssh... Silent sleeping I love hearing my baby cry! Said no sane parent ever. When your baby is inconsolable, parents will try all sorts of tricks to soothe them from singing century old nursery rhymes to driving around the county to get them soothed and of to sleep. What’s that one something that ought to be among them.. But no one knows about?
The Baby Shusher, a nifty, albeit, strange device that, well, shushes your baby. This noise machine mimics the rhythmic sounds of the womb, triggering your baby’s “natural calming reflex,” helping to stop her/him from crying. In other words, it’s a quiet house in a weirdly shaped can. • Doctor approved • Timer options • Versatile and portable
OTHER BABYSHUSHER PRODUCTS AVAILBLE ONLINE!
• Affordable
Available online at...
www.babyshusher.com
www.babysusher.com £24.00
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TWEET US WHAT’S ON YOUR WISH LIST @SalisParenting TO BE IN FOR A CHANCE TO WIN!
2000 THE BEST BEFORE
Charlotte's Web 1952
Charlie and the chocolate factory 1964
Velveteen Rabbit 1922
Are you my mother? 1960
Alice in Wonderland 1865
Cat In The Hat 1957
Green eggs & ham 1960
The BFG 1982
The Railway Children 1906
The Witches 1986
The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe 1950
Secret Garden 1911
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. . . e h t r Afte
birth
CROTCH CARE 101
The truth about what's up down there after your vaginal delivery.
The word 'post-partum' is the recovery of mums body after delivering her new baby and it begins straight after the delivery of baby and ends when the mums body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state. This period usually lasts six to eight weeks, but what happens in those 2 months?
We look at what you can do to help your body and mind get back to being the mum you were born to be. .. This month the focus is on how to cope and what you can do to help ease the pain and get your yummy mummy body back to normal after a vaginal delivery.
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It Happened... Its out!
Again, really not that private!)
be on guard, again, this is all normal!
You have muslins galore and you have cleaned out Mamma’s and Papas of their maternity pants. You have 12 brands of nappy rash cream and three newborn-sized bathrobes with matching slippers. Preparing for baby's arrival wasn't so hard... But are you ready for all that other stuff that happens after delivery? (You know, to your vagina. And perineum. And rectum.)
The Aftermath... Its as bad as the second coming!
If you have any stitches from tearing, expect them to first be sore and then a little itchy. Most stitches reabsorb in about three weeks. Later, you’ll have some scar tissue, but chances are you will probably never notice!
Been there and done that ladies.. So let's just say it and be honest; If you gave birth vaginally, you're going to need some serious TLC down there. Getting Started. Alot of mums will read this and think 'Oh my god!! She's of on one again, its a private subject' but lets face it ladies your private parts are in fact that, not private anymore, — your vagina, perineum and rectum — after childbirth depends a lot on your particular birth experience. So if you pushed out an 11-pounder and tore badly, you're going to have a tougher recovery than if baby is smaller and your perineum stayed intact. But genetics can play a part too. (Just be prepared for the fact that an investigation into family history may involve your Mum discussing her own, um, lady parts...
Expect lots of bleeding and some general soreness, after all your womb has got to get back to shape after holding something the size of a watermelon for 9 months, that’s some serious shedding it has to do! Give it time and don’t be worried. Wondering how much blood to be prepared for? Dr. Bliss says postpartum bleeding can be compared to a heavy period and may last for a few weeks — which is why superabsorbent maxi pads (yes, like the kind that look like massive building bricks) will become your new best friend... And if your anything like me, you’ll grow accustom to the comfort and continue to wear them after you’ve stopped bleeding! (Awkward) So here's the real deal: No matter how long you pushed for, expect some swelling. You can also expect small contractions and occasional gushes of blood, especially when you breastfeed because of the hormonal changes, but don't let this freak you out. It's your uterus shrinking back to its normal size. In addition, you may have some trouble pooping, and you’ll probably spring a few leaks. So
See my top tips for soothing your not so private, private parts below. Remember, were all mums and one way or another we all did it.
1 Soak Your Bum Take one every time you pee or poop for the first week and several times a day for the next week. Be diligent. Set aside those 15 minutes it takes to sit there with your bottom in water. Belive me... It Helps!
2
Witch Hazel It Up
3
Do Your Kegels
This herbal remedy can bring sweet relief for painful, itchy stitches, and nerve-wracking haemorrhoids. Try spraying on some on your pad first, and you'll be comfortably numb for a while.
Strengthening your pelvic floor by doing Kegel exercises is a must, This helps maintain urinary continence and function of your anal sphincter... Sounds pretty important eh!
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CHURCH gone
COMMUNIT Y At the heart of every town is a church, in ours, its St Thomas Church, our local civic church. Unlike the stereotypical traditional church we tend to think of, this community church might just of hit the nail on the head when it comes to the cross between tradition and sacrament to modern contemporary.
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Photos courtesy of John Rose Photography
By CHARLOTTE HAGYARD
W
hen we think of church we seem to withhold that image of a castle like building with stain glass windows and hard stone floors, we seem to stereotype it into the decade of 1300 when in real day we are 800 odd years on and with society becoming modernised, as has the church as we knew it. Keeping traditional sacramental service with their Sunday service at 8am, church choir and sermons yet stirring in contemporary and entering the community actively looking for family involvement within the church. Speaking to Jonathan Plows of St Thomas church it was evident the passion and drive the community share with their local church, including their involvement with the youth and young families of Salisbury. Priding themselves on Community, young people and equality, St Thomas is nothing short of welcoming to families of any kind.
As a mother myself who attends church (although not as regular as i probably should) i think we all have the added stress and worry of taking our children to church, new mothers worry how they are going to tie in feeding when service starts at 8 and baby needs feeding at half past, and some mothers may worry about the howling noise their toddler will make in the midst of a silent sermon,
are actively seeking ways of promotion to young families.
twice a week, a great way to connect with other local people and build relationships with alike families.
Jo Broom, the parish pastoral assistant works with the dedicated team at St Thomas to bring together a key link in the church community chain... The children of St Thomas. This year alone Jo with the help and support of the local community have set up an all welcoming structured and enjoyable children’s area of which children are encouraged to join in with. Entwining the structure and sacramental meaning of parish service (held every Sunday at 8am) Jo along with Ellen who also takes on the Sunday children’s corner, encourages the children to partake in the service in a bite size and manageable way. Jo goes on to say "We really do encourage the children to take part, they are welcome to wander between us and their parents, to watch the service and we join in as well, whilst the sermon takes place, we sit the children down in a 'prayer circle' and we share the things we are thankful for. Whilst the parents take part in communion the children have a biscuit if you they don’t wish to join in."
With exciting things in the pipeline for St Thomas, this community church is by far the up and coming church in Salisbury to be a member of, thriving in initiative new adventures, fresh ideas and with a team of dedicated and hard working people. It most certainly is, a treasure to not only Salisbury as a historic city, but to us, the public, the tourists and the locals, as the people that pass it by without a second thought, next time your walking through town or drinking coffee at Côte cafe opposite, pop into the church cafe, listen to the choir practice, join in with craft'n'chat or simply admire the beauty of the architecture within the building. St Thomas truly is a community church with alot to offer.
Jo believes strongly in encouraging this sector of the church with her significant aim being that children, including her own grandson enjoy the corner and all it has to offer; including the baby group Tommy's Toddlers, a successful and thriving baby and toddler group run from the church house directly next door to St Thomas itself. St Thomas also runs a children’s choir of which get together
“
We are open to everyone without any exception. -Jonathan Plows
“
However fear not, St Thomas is welcoming to all families, and
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Baby wearing wonders Of Wiltshire Slings and Carriers have been used for years and caused much speculation and many a debate, but the question a modern parent needs to ask them self is...is it style of Parenting or a Tool for All Parents? Sarah, mum to 3 and owner of local Wilton shop Slingtastic explains her love for baby wearing and passion for carriers. Nine years ago, I was pregnant with my first child, and I bought one of the few carriers recommended in the magazines as I wanted to be able to walk the dogs with the baby. It was very functional, expensive, fully tested and apparently offered great back support for me. It had lots of clips, my husband liked it too, but despite all of this, I was still viewed as being a bit ‘alternative’ for using it. I then of course surprised many people by using about 6 or 7 different slings once my baby reached 6 months old as I realised there was this amazing world of much better (more comfortable, prettier, equally safe) slings and carriers that could enable me to carry on walking the dogs and nipping in and out of shops without having to use a pushchair. Since then, the range of baby carriers and slings has increased dramatically. The internet has allowed sling businesses, sling meets, sling forums and second hand sling sales to grow to such an extent that I now find it very hard to see sling use as unusual or alternative in itself, but maybe this is just because I am surrounded by slings and people who use them. I do still meet people who insist that babies over 3 months old are too heavy to carry , that slings are a hippy fad, that babies who go in slings will never learn to walk, or even that slings are inherently dangerous. Maybe you are reading this and thinking some of these things? If so, it might be worth reflecting on where these beliefs come from, as there is no research that backs up the negative stereotypes and headlines. There are some people who quite simply do not want to use a sling or carrier – and that’s fine too. However I would hate someone to miss out on the joy and convenience that slings can bring to parents because of a pre-conceived view that they later found
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out to be untrue. Evidence based research showing the benefits of using slings and carriers has slowly been growing in the last few decades, and is of course backed up by a growing number of parents’ anecdotal experiences too. There are now slings to suit almost every parent out there – slings you tie, buckle or wear like clothes. Slings in ethnic prints, camo prints and functional solid colours. Slings for front, back and hip carries. Slings for every different age up to pre-school – and slings that go from birth right through. Slings for low and ridiculously high budgets. And with each type of carrier or sling comes a wealth of information and support from manufacturers, sling consultants, sling professionals and volunteers for ways of staying safe and getting each sling as comfortable as possible. With the increasing success of slings however, comes the alarming tide of fakes as well – big brands that have become established are now copied and sold as genuine ‘bargains’ that are genuinely too good to be true. This growth of fake slings, as well as cheap imitations sold into the EU with no testing or safety control is where a true alternative side of sling use is taking place and is one that all parents should be aware of. We are lucky in the UK, and particularly around Salisbury to have a range of shops, consultants and sling libraries that are invaluable in helping you choose and find a safe solution for you and your child. There are many advantages to using slings and carriers and these are not all linked to particular styles of parenting – despite what people tell you. Yes, in attachment parenting slings are seen as an essential tool for holding your child close to you for as much of the time as possible. But for
many of us they are quite simply an essential tool for negotiating the school run, country stiles, busy markets, and steps to flats where people are just not able to take a buggy and all their weekly shop at the same time, let alone a child.
So what are some of the main benefits of using slings and carriers? * Ease the symptoms of reflux and prevents ear infections (Tasker, 2002) * They reduce apnea and uneven breathing (Ludington-Hoe, 1993) and stabilise heart rate (McCain, 2005) * Stress reactions are relieved (for example with heel prick tests) (Kostandy, 2008) * Babies and children are soothed by being close to the caregiver – whether that be their mother, father, child-minder or another adult. * They are a great tool to encourage bonding with adults other than the mother, especially fathers who can find this harder in the first 6 months. * Some can enable skin-to-skin contact whilst the adult looks after other children, moves around the house and carries out daily chores (for the benefits of skin-to-skin – look up kangaroo care. It’s amazing.) * Dog walking, walks with steps or stiles, shopping and generally going to places where prams and pushchairs are not allowed, becomes much easier * Chatting with your growing child whilst out and about is a real joy as they can see where you are looking as you talk (triangulation) you can both see things from the same level to talk about and they can join in conversations with other adults too. * Regular use helps to build up muscles that may have weakened during pregnancy * Toddlers as well as babies can find security and peace in a sling when they are tired and overwhelmed * Slings are a safe place for babies and toddlers to be when out and about – whether it is a busy birthday party for older children or a place outdoors where toddlers are at risk of falling or running into a road.
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Q&A
Questions and Answers
The
Feeding queries answered!
How can I tell if my baby is getting enough breast milk, since I can't count the number of ounces? The most reliable sign is adequate weight gain. If your baby's gaining four to seven ounces a week, he's probably getting enough milk. Since it can be difficult to tell just by looking whether an infant is gaining weight, especially in the first month or two, you might want to pop into your paediatrician office for a weigh-in between check ups if you're concerned. Another important way to gauge your baby's intake is to note the contents of his diaper. If he's eating enough, he'll have four to six wet ones a day. His urine should be pale or clear; if it's a dark, apple-juice shade, he may not be getting enough milk. The number and nature of his bowel movements will tell you not only whether he's downing enough breast milk but also whether he's taking in adequate amounts of the high-fat milk he needs to grow. By 2 weeks of age, babies who are getting enough "grow milk" will produce at least three nappies of yellow, seedy stools a day. Other signs of breastfeeding success: You'll feel the tingling of the milk-ejection reflex, see your infant sucking vigorously, and hear him swallowing; and he'll drift off contentedly to sleep after nursing.
How can I come to terms with my guilty feelings about quitting breastfeeding?
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Do not feel guilty quitting breastfeeding. I persevered for 6 months with my first child. With my second, I quit after a month...Only to realize that it was my first child who missed out...On a happy mum! My second baby received the benefits of more cuddling, more talking, more LOVING. I didn't even realize with my first child how much time and energy went into overcoming my difficulties breastfeeding, and not into cherishing the moments with her. I'll never know how much we both missed, and wish I had stopped sooner. Some women have an easy time breastfeeding. If you are not one of these women, don't beat yourself up. Give it month, and then let it go. Because when mum is unhappy, everyone suffers.
Our 5-month-old wakes up four to six times a night. Sometimes he's not even hungry -- he just wants us to comfort him. How can we get him to sleep through the night? While many babies this age are able to sleep for five-hour stretches, or even all night, others are prone to waking periodically. To help your little one stay in dreamland: Play recordings of lullabies or other soothing sounds (such as waterfalls or crashing waves) or place a ticking clock or metronome in the nursery. (Infants are often comforted by this because they've just spent months listening to the regular beat of their mom's heart while in the womb.) That way, your baby can soothe himself back to sleep more easily when he awakens during the night. If he has a tendency to rise with the dawn's early light, put blackout curtains in his bedroom. Nurse or bottle-feed right before bed so that he's less likely to wake up for a feeding. If he does wake up during the night because he's hungry or because he needs his diaper changed, keep stimulation to a minimum by not turning on the light or playing with him. If you plan to try the cry-it-out approach or another strategy to get your child to sleep through the night, wait until the connection between you and your baby is stronger and you're proficient at reading his cries. While all babies eventually need to learn to fall asleep on their own, forcing your child to soothe himself to sleep before he's ready can undermine his trust in you as a source of comfort and may keep you from figuring out which style works best for you and your family. Worst of all, it may hinder the discovery of other possible causes of your baby's discomfort, such as an ear infection, stuffy nose, gastrointestinal reflux, or other medical condition.
How do I know when to start feeding my baby solids, and which foods should I start with? Most infants don't need solid food before 6 months because they receive all the nutrients they need from breast milk or formula. However, your paediatrician may recommend you start sooner if your baby shows signs that she's ready, such as mimicking your mouth movements while watching you eat or grabbing your food. If she doesn't seem interested at 6 or 7 months, don't try to force-feed her. The most important goal is to encourage the development of a healthy attitude toward food. Whenever you start your child on solids, begin with foods that are the least allergenic and the closest to breast milk and formula in taste and consistency, such as mashed ba-
nanas or rice cereal. Use your finger to put a little banana on your baby's lips, then let her suck your finger. Once she's introduced to the new taste, gradually increase the amount and watch her facial expressions. If the food goes in, accompanied by a smile, she's ready and willing. If it comes back out with a grimace or if she turns her head away, try again in a couple of weeks. For breastfeeding babies, it's best to offer solids at the end of the day, when your milk supply is usually lowest. (Formula-fed babies can eat at any time.) And remember that feeding isn't just about giving nutrition. It's a perfect opportunity to interact and connect with your baby.
I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks and I'd like to continue breastfeeding. What's the best way to do this? First, invest in or rent a good pump. The more convenient it is to express and store your milk, the easier it will be for you to take on the challenges of breastfeeding and working. Consider such factors as where you'll be pumping (if at your desk, an electric model might be your best bet; if in the rest room, a lightweight, portable manual pump may be a better choice), your baby's age and how long you'll be pumping, and whether you plan to have another child.
To keep up your milk supply, breastfeed as much as you can when you're at home. In the mornings, set your alarm early so that you can have a little extra time to nurse and cuddle your baby before you leave for work. Ask your caregiver not to feed your child within an hour of when you expect to be home in the evenings so that when you arrive you can breastfeed right away. On weekends, try not to spend too much time away from your baby, and nurse her as often as she wants.
Have you got a question to ask us? Salisbury Parenting
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JOHN ROSE
10 Top Tips TO GETTING BETTER PICTURES OF YOUR TODDLER These top 10 tips to getting better photos of your toddlers are goldust to any parent who has a savvy smart phone and an addiction to instagram! “They move so fast all I get is a blurred streak that looks like paint up a wall” I have heard it all before, and this is a common problem when trying to get a picture of a child who wont pose on demand, especially if the only camera you have is the one on your phone. Fear not phoneaholoic parent, Help is at hand though, here are my personal top10 tips to help you get better photos of your toddler without it looking like hurricane todder has hit!
1
Get their attention Phone cameras are not designed to take photos of moving subjects, therefore you need to get your toddlers attention. You know your child best so use something you know they can’t resist to stop them moving.
2
Get down to their level This is a must to get the best photos; it will also help with 1. A photo of a person from above is ok in certain circumstances but for the bet shots of your toddler you have to be at their eye level.
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3
Let them play Some of the best photos are when the subject is looking away from the camera. It is nice to get some photos of the looking straight at the camera but some great expressions can be captured when they’re concentrating on something.
4
Use the light The very best light for pictures is daylight, so for the best pictures get them outside. Not only is daylight more flattering, but it is also much easier for the camera to get everything right.
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The very best photo can be ruined by a distractive background. Look at what is behind your toddler, and if it isn’t very nice………move! Changing your position even by a little bit can make all the difference to the final image.
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Show them the pictures Get them involved with what you’re doing. Once you’ve got a few pics, show them, they’ll love seeing themselves on the screen and will start to play for the camera.
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Stay out of the sun! Now I know this slightly contradicts 4. I assure you it all makes complete sense. I won’t bore you with the technical stuff and although daylight does make the best pictures, sunlight definitely doesn’t. It creates unflattering shadows and confuses the camera’s sensor. If you want to take pictures on a sunny day, create some shade by letting them play under a tree or something.
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Play copycat Make a face, lie down on you front, show them what you want them to do and get them to copy you. It is far easier to get them to do something like you, then it is for them to understand a verbal description. Don’t be frightened to make a fool of yourself to get THE photo.
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This may seem a difficult one if you’ve only got your phone, by try playing peeka-boo over your phone to get a frame filler.
" Capture the memory. The smallest thing's take up the most room in our hearts " - John Rose
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If you start to get upset because they’re not doing what you want them to do……STOP! Toddlers are not trained monkeys, and you aren’t going to get a great picture if you get grumpy with them.
@Jrphotographer
John Rose Photography
www.johnrosephotography.com Salisbury Parenting
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JUST A
TECNO LOVING MUM
Our modern mum of the year Sarah Cronshaw is just Surfing the web on a smart phone and googling gadgets for giggles... as you do! I'm in my 30s so I guess I'm probably within the first generation of 'modern mums' who have technology close to hand in pretty much every aspect of every day life. There are so many gadgets and apps that help get through our busy lives, but especially that help us parent a lot of technology that our own parents and grandparents didn't have. Most of this technology can be a god send. We have gadgets and apps to save us time, help us to mulit-task, and allow us to spend more time with our families. We're so used to having our smartphones full of apps on us at all times that we take most of it for granted, and probably don't even consider about how much more difficult our every day lives would be without it. In a recent McCann report called the ‘Truth About Moms’ it was
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reported that 84% of mums agree that technology simplifies their life. When I was little and we were sick my mum didn't have a computer to access instant information, she had to look up our symptoms in the giant medical journal on the book shelf. If I think my daughter might be ill I can Google it, ask my Facebook friends for advice, or look on a million different websites and have my mind put at rest (or a doctor's appointment booked) within minutes. I can remember my poor mum having to do the weekly food shop with my brother and I tagging along, begging her to buy us things, moaning that we were bored, and generally making it all a bit more stressful. I on the other hand can't think of anything worse than dragging
a child around the supermarket and have never tortured myself by doing it. I sit on the comfort of my sofa to order my groceries, and then have a nice man from the supermarket deliver it straight to my door at a time convenient for me. Then there's all of the apps that we have at our fingertips to amuse our kids for 5 minutes when we are trying to drive, cook dinner, or put some make-up on. There's apps that help us manage our time, to remind us where we need to be and hep us get there, and those that let us keep in touch with friends and family with hardly any effort on our part. Not to mention how much easier it is to have a camera permanently in your pocket to document those special moments. Whilst I love all of this technology and can't imagine living (and parenting) without it, I'm not sure that having all of it is such a good thing. Some of the technology and gadgets that most parents have now are probably not even that necessary, and I'm sure people are losing the ability to think for themselves a bit. There weren't any gadgets to test the temperature of the bath water or a baby's bottle when our parents were new mums and dads, it was all down to common sense and instinct, and we all survived ok.
Our mums didn't have smartphones to distract them when we were trying to get their attention, or wanting them to watch us swing by ourselves in the park.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE
They didn't have social media stressing them out by showing them photos of amazing craft projects or birthday cakes that other mums were making with their kids.
SOCIAL MEDIA
And they didn't have to worry what their children were watching online, who they were talking to, or what photos of themselves they were sharing with the whole world.
THEM PHOTOS OF
All of that said, I don't think many of us 'modern mums' would be able to do without our phones, apps, and gadgets. I know that I would certainly find it very hard!
BIRTHDAY CAKES
If you can relate to some of the below points and couldn't live without your phone or tablet, then you are definitely a 'modern mum' and need your 21st century technology. I bet that everyone reading this can relate to at least one or two...
WITH THEIR KIDS.
STRESSING THEM OUT BY SHOWING AMAZING CRAFT PROJECTS OR THAT OTHER MUMS WERE MAKING
1. If your child is sick your first port of call isn’t the family doctor, it’s Dr Google. 2. When you need a few minutes to yourself to get dressed, or tidy up you keep the kids quiet with an iPad or smartphone. 3. You only manage to keep up with what your friends are doing by checking on social media. 4. If it wasn’t for the Facebook reminders you’d completely forget most people’s birthdays. 5. Being able to do your food shopping online and not have to drag the kids around the supermarket is a life saver. 6. If you lost your phone you’d also lose your diary, address book, photos, and pretty much your whole life. 7. You feel naked and totally lost if you forget to take your phone out with you. 8. You’ve perfected the art of a mummy/child selfie. 9. You have several apps on your phone that help to get your child to sleep or stop crying. 10. If you have a child related question you consult online forums or Facebook groups before your own mother. 11. You have online mummy friends who you speak to more than your real-life friends. 12. You go a bit crazy pinning ideas in the run up to your children’s birthday parties or school projects. 13. You check the amount of sugar or fat in your child’s food by scanning the barcodes on the labels. 14. Before buying any baby products you do research and read reviews on Google and Amazon. 15. Your kids regularly use the phrase “Google it Mummy” if you don’t know the answer to one of their questions.
@sarahjcronshaw
Sarah Cronshaw
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Pregnancy Yoga AMY TAYLOR YOGA
Words by Charlotte Hagyard
Its taken up time in Amy Taylor's life for as long as she can remember, yoga has been a strong part of her life personally but only 3 years ago did she quit her job, pack her bags and travelled to Goha, India to study yoga at an intensive 6 week course, running 7 classes a week this incredibly talented lady is yet again, pushing herself further and taking on a new venture with Pregnancy Yoga which she is launching this month at the Sarum Academy. Yoga in general is always treated as very much the 'hippies sport' its another stereotypical social move we seem to put out there however Amy's classes are driven by fitness and your inner connection within your own person. Unlike the scenes we see of the Nottinghill mothers stretching in their light baby blue yoga tops unmarked with baby puke, you will always leave feeling worked in Amy's classes, Amy says "All my classes are based on health and your personal fitness and you will always leave with a sweat on" As always in small businesses there is competition and other local businesses alike to compete with but what Amy noticed was there was a gap in the market for Pregnancy
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Yoga, a type of yoga that no other instructor in Salisbury was currently challenging, with her passion for yoga and health Amy undertook her specialised pregnancy training in London this year. Having a baby is a massive strain on your mind, body and health and that’s without pregnancy complications, but did you know that specialised pregnancy yoga classes could be of benefit to you and your unborn bundle of joy? Amy takes a more relaxed and holistic approach to her pregnancy classes where the focus is on relaxation as well as breathing techniques you can later use in labour; along side a relaxing quiet hour yoga through your pregnancy has been scientifically proven to shorten your labour be it a first or otherwise, partaking in yoga eliminates some of the issues we currently see in a percentage of pregnant mothers, not only does the above sound appealing alone an hour of yoga a week at one of Amy’s classes will keep your mind and body active without having to over stretch yourself and the bump in a gym! Love-before-sight may have begun when you first found you were
pregnant or felt baby’s movements or ... You may simply feel too tired or overwhelmed to bond straight away, the beauty of pregnancy yoga is that it allows you the time and intimate moments to bond with your unborn baby, concentrating on your growing bump, bonding is a crucial part of becoming a new mummy and this is a great way to start and nurture a growing bond. Amy prides herself on her pregnancy classes being smaller in numbers so that it is of a personal experience and that she gets to know each mother on a connective level. Being the only pregnancy yoga instructor in Salisbury this truly is an opportunity to take up, this said being pregnant can be a daunting experience for even the most experienced of mothers and no mother should be uncomfortable, to make things more relaxing for the mummy-to-be Amy also offers 1-1 sessions from the comfort of your own home.
"All my classes are based on health and your personal fitness and you will always leave with a sweat on" Pregnancy classes with Amy Taylor start from April 25th 2016 at the Sarum Academy, Salisbury for £10 a session lasting just over an hour and are suitable from 13 weeks until due day!
Amy Taylor Yoga
amytayloryoga
“
Pregnancy yoga is a great way to tune into your body during pregnancy using breathing techniques, yoga postures and meditation to calm your mind, alleviate common pregnancy ailments and connect with your unborn baby. Pregnancy yoga has been proven to bring huge benefits to both mother and baby including shorter labours, less medical intervention and it really prepares mums to be both physically and mentally ready for childbirth
“
- Amy Taylor Owner and instructor of Amy Taylor Yoga
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w w w. a m y t a y l o r y o g a . c o . u k amytayloryoga@hotmail.com Salisbury Parenting 0 7 8 5 325 830190
A LETTER TO MY THREENAGER TODDLER. So it succumb to me the other day that my toddler is more like a teenager than I first thought, listening to my three year old drama queen of a threenager argue with my 16 year old over excessive dramatic sister, I found my self in a state of wonderment... Later that night whilst hiding in the pantry from the screaming terror that is my beautiful daughter I decided to write a letter to the toddler of the moment... let's talk about tantrums!
I
woke up this morning with every intention of having a great day, yes it was Monday but what the hell, it was going to be a marvellous day! Mother nature was on top form, spring has sprung for the first time in what feels like years, there is a gleaming sun and the grass is crisp and as green as your eyes. The coffee I had just made in the new cafeteria your father didn't know he’d just bought, taste like paradise in a cup. I was so in love with the idea this day was going to be just so perfect! A day like this, the sun shining, a beautiful family, an amazing job… how could anything go wrong? And then you woke up... At an hour totally unreasonable, as I hadn't even finished snuggling my love in a mug cwaaaaaaffee. Immediately dissatisfied that Elsa the bloody ice queen wasn't screaming 'Let it go' through television screen, immediately your lips started going and your eyes filled with tears... Low and behold, temper tantrum one of the day.. My day is officially dragging by this point. I’m pretty sure the neighbour’s alarm system kicked in when that first temper tantrum of the day erupted... The noise was similar to that of a screaming banshee who had also had to endure the screams of Elsa telling Anna that she doesn’t want to play... For gods sake queenie, give in and play with the girl!
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Oh but it did not end there, oh no!!!! Your harsh screaming quickly escalated to frantic running and throwing yourself onto the nearest objects in the utmost dramatic Disney princess way except with no grace, no pretty flailing skirts and drapey hair... Instead you reminded me of a Zombie on cat nip. And there we go, now your legs have stiffened and we are onto phase two... Oh hoorah! A one toddler army was now marching through my, what was clean 10 minutes ago, living room. In an alternative universe, this might be considered great entertainment but here in what can be described as hell in four walls … you ruined my moment, kid. As any good parent knows, when the day starts with a temper tantrum it usually goes south from there... And oh mmmm geeeeee. You clearly haven't had any intention of being a wellbehaved child today at all have you? You know … like those beautifully preened children you see on your instagram feed … those perfectly poised kids sitting on bales of hay and chilling in old vintage farmhouses? Nope you dear child had other plans, you in your not so sweet little head decided you’d see how long it took me to turn into the hulk and win an award for the worlds worst mother. So with the kettle reboiling again because my love in a mug coffee is now cold, thank you again! For one simple and split moment, peace and harmony has been resumed in the household!! Hoooo-bloody-rah! You transformed into a perfect Disney Princess when the words 'Let it Go' were shrillingly screamed from the television... Do I take this moment to reflect on how much things have changed since i was a child or get on with housework I have no will on earth to want to do... Instead I find myself singing inside for the gift of peace and start dancing silently that the banshee screaming has finally ceased! We have just, only just survived the morning and against my better judgement i now decide after coffee that i am brave enough to let you choose your own lunch, thinking it would be easier for you to pick something you wanted... Right? High five me! Lets have a party! Ummmmm WRONG! Tins turnt up, packets ripped, fridge raided and freezer slowly defrosting itself, you now take it upon yourself to decide that the one item you want to eat is the one item we don’t have in the house... are you for real child?! Eat a peanut butter sandwich like the rest of the neighbourhood, but of course this isn’t good enough for you and so lets just prepare for world war 3 to break out in my kitchen... Ready.... Set...Go!
Oh my! Its happening and were in full swing, someone bar the windows and pad the room.... even the dog has run for cover. I have bred a devil child. Whatever was flailing like a wounded duck in the middle of the kitchen floor couldn’t possibly be human. But it was. It was you dear toddler. Dear darling daughter of mine. A little human being who couldn’t quite sing her alphabet, yet somehow knew the difference between good and bad behaviour... how to make me a psycho mummy and how to make me look like nigella lawson with my shit together. There was no consoling you this time, you battled through bites of a cheese sandwich. Slapped me when I tried to feed you tomato soup, I resembled a walking contemporary painting. Some might call you artistic—a free soul with a strong spirit. I had other words in mind... i was thinking more obscene words that should be silenced with wine.
Mr Tumble's voice is now being carried through the waves in my living room - Mr Tumble equals its time for a child break rest! Most days you were so tired by mid-afternoon, you’d practically fall asleep in your lunch or just lounge on the sofa like a stoned teenager. Today, now today … today you’d prove that sleep was for babies. Your little body had every inclination of going … like a loud electronic toy that seemed to operate in lieu of batteries; the ones that belt out obnoxious kiddie tunes at midnight and make animals sound like they’re dying.
IT. It was nap, naughty step or bedroom play...or else … I was about ready to pack my suitcase and head for the nearest exit... The one that gets you out of mother hood! You fell asleep like an exorcism was being performed.. Then again I cant say I’m surprised after what seemed like an eternity of screaming and high pitched crying. I won’t lie, i wanted to cave in, pick you up and cuddle you. My heart desperately wanted to just cuddle you in my arms until you went off to sleep. That was until your little fat wrist caught the corner of my eye like you were an aspiring Bruce Lee. Hell, no. Enjoy your nap! You woke just in time for daddy to return home from work. The fact he had come home without a surprise for you though?… Well let’s just say, another tantrum for that day... what’s the tally at now? Dear toddler, we are about to fall out! Daddy’s home and this mum's going into hiding... at the bar... amongst the wine! Toodle-oo!
Salisbury Parenting
@SalisParenting
Two hours and no nap or coffee later, things went from “Well this effing sucks” to “Where’s the wine?” You were no longer a screeching, howling banshee devil. You, dearest darling, had turned into an tiny asshole. After throwing the fifth plastic toy in my direction, which was surprisingly hard. THAT. WAS.
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NATUREOR NURTURE Words by Vicky Charles My daughter is one of the happiest little souls you will ever meet. Unless she’s feeling ill, she is usually to be found chatting or singing to herself. Everyone always comments on how she always seems to be happy. She’s my only child though; I’ve nothing to compare her with. It’s only when I spend time with other children that I realise just how easy going my child is.
I was basically a nervous wreck for the first few months of my daughter’s life.
But is that nature, or nurture? I’m a fairly moody person. Having my daughter has made me slightly less morose, but I am still prone to bouts of depression and had a massive breakdown several years ago. I think it’s safe to say most people in my family are fairly moody and miserable at times. The person we refer to as “the sperm donor” is a sociopath, so I’m fairly sure my daughter has not inherited her sunny disposition from that side either. So then is it nurture? My daughter was born five weeks premature, on Easter Monday. She had no suck/swallow response and developed jaundice, both of which meant that we were kept in hospital for two weeks after her birth.
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It was horrible; as a massive introvert, I really struggled with not having any time alone; there was no door to close and the curtain around my bed just didn’t do the job. When we were finally released, I was completely lost at sea and probably suffering with some form of PTSD. I had no clue what I was doing, and lived my life entirely around the agreement I had made with the consultant that I would never allow my daughter to go more than 3 hours without a feed. Shortly after that, the sperm donor left us, and began causing us his own special version of merry hell as he tried to brow-beat me into doing what he wanted. I was so unsure of myself as a mother, so convinced I would do something wrong,
Over time, I got into more of a routine and a rhythm with my parenting. I grew more confident, and stopped listening to the advice that strangers love to give new parents. I started carrying my daughter around in a sling, and she slept in bed next to me. On the advice of my health visitor I cut the sperm donor out of our lives completely and attended the Freedom Programme, which is group counselling for victims of domestic abuse. I suppose I probably adopted a lot of the principles of attachment parenting, and I never left her for more than two hours until she was over a year old. Four years on, I am still very much a single parent, and I like it that way. I like that it’s just the two of us and we have such a very close bond. My daughter has her own bed, but after a year of her never sleeping in it, I took it apart and moved the mattress into my room. She starts the night there, but usually ends up in my bed. And I quite like that, actually. I get kicked and head butted a lot, but I also get more cuddles than anyone else I know, single or otherwise. Being a single parent can be very stressful. Sometimes I just want five minutes’ peace, but I can’t have it because my daughter wants to know a gazillion things, all at the same
time. I’ve not slept through the night since she was born. Sometimes I lose my temper and I shout. And then I apologise. My daughter knows that I am not supposed to shout; she knows that if I do, she is allowed to tell me not to, and to demand an apology. On the rare occasion she does this, it breaks my heart and we cry together. No parent is perfect; we all have difficult patches, and some difficult patches can run on for days, weeks or even months. I’m also self employed, which can often add another layer of stress to my day - but it also allows me the freedom to work to my own schedule, to take a day off if she’s having an outing at nursery, and to work around what’s going on in our social lives.
My daughter loves books and she definitely gets that from me! I have been an avid reader for as long as I can remember, and have been reading The Cat In The Hat to her since she was still in my belly. It always makes me smile when I go upstairs in the evening to check on her and find that she’s sneaked several books into bed with her, and fallen asleep beneath them. I don’t even know if that’s nature or nurture though; did she inherit a love of books from me, or does she just love them because I buy so many of them and read with her so often? How would one even begin to figure that one out? Her overall demeanour can’t really be put down to either nature or nurture. I didn’t have a sunny disposition for her to inherit, and I don’t exactly
display one for her to have gained through nurture either. I’m not so foolish as to think I’m some genius parent who has somehow stumbled on the exact way to raise a perfectly happy, well-adjusted and easy going child. It is, at best, a complete fluke. For all I know, when she hits 13 she’ll become a grumpy teen and I’ll kick myself for all the times I allowed her to steal paper from the printer tray for drawing without asking! But it doesn’t matter, does it? Nature or nurture; whatever the cause, the outcome is that I have one of the happiest, most easy-going children and I am exceptionally lucky. And if she does become a sullen, grouchy teenager… I’ll buy a book about it, and we’ll read it together.
@SingleMAhoy SingleMotherAhoy
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Vintage Tea Parties
Weddings ~ Christenings ~ Birthday parties ~ Anniversaries Afternoon tea parties ~ Corporate events ~ Pop-up tea and cake parties Traditional finger sandwiches ~ Home made cakes ~ Savouries Nibbles ~ Sweet treats - Traditional drinks Give your guests a day to remember ~ let them enjoy delicious home baking served on delicate bone china, reminiscent of days gone by 30
Email beverley@beverleyscreativecakes.co.uk or call 01725 513758 Salisbury Parenting
BEV’S Bakery By Beverley Barter
“Cooking is my passion but these recipes are the simplest of recipes even for those who dred the thought of messy baking. Perfect for simple snacking or lunch box packing, these barbecue meals are simply scrummy all year round!”
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BARBECUE BITES Summer is coming and children love barbecues so why not get messy and creative this summer and make barbecue food with the kids that they are able to make, cook and eat. These delicious recipes give a delicious and rich new spin on kids BBQ food with a dietary alternative.
Easy peasy potato cakes. Serves 4 500g/1,1/4lb potatoes 115g/40z feta cheese 4, spring onions, chopped 45ml/3tbsp chopped fresh dill 1 egg beaten 15ml/1 tbsp. lemon juice 30ml/ 2 tbsp. olive oil Salt and pepper
1. Boil potatoes with skins on until soft. Drain, and then peel while still warm. Place in a bowl and mash. Crumble the feta cheese into the potato and add the spring onions, dill, egg, and lemon juice and season with salt and pepper. 2. Stir well cover the mixture and chill until firm. Divide the mixture into walnut size balls. Then flatten slightly. Brush with olive oil. 3. Arrange potato cakes and cook on barbecue, turning over until golden brown.
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TOP TIP Children love barbecues and they love to brag about what they have done - So let them in, let the kitchen get messy and let them help!
Home made burgers, so much more flavour, and you know what your children are eating, and they have the fun of helping to make them. This recipe is a Stilton burger, but for children you could change the cheese to your choice. A variation on the traditional burger this recipe has a delicious surprise, a creamy filling of of lightly melted Stilton.
Stilton cheese kiddie burgers. Serves 4 450/ 1lb/ 4 cups minced beef 1 onion, chopped 1 celery stick chopped 5ml/ 1 tsp dried mixed herbs 5ml/ 1 tsp mustard 50g/ 2 oz/ ½ cup stilton crumbled or cheese of your choice 4 burger buns Salt/ pepper
1. Mix the mince beef with the chopped onion, celery, mixed herbs and mustard. 2. Season well with salt and pepper 3. Mix together with your hands to form a firm mixture. 4. Divide the mixture into eight equal portions 5. Shape four portions into rounds and flatten each one slightly. 6. Place a little of the crumbled cheese in the centre of each round. 7. Shape and flatten the remaining four portions and place one on top of first four rounds. 8. Use your hands to mould the rounds together, encasing the crumbled cheese and shape into 4 burgers.
Cook on the barbecue for about 10 minutes or until cooked through.
Split the burger bun and put burger in side.
Serve with salad and pickle.
Made by hand... Baked with loved... Salisbury Parenting
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Spring in your step... Spring is officially here and its time to spring clean your life! We have longer days to go exploring and warmer weather to be enjoying, whether its a family holiday on the British coast with sandy toes or a sneaky day date picnic in the forest, take advantage of the spring time and use it to boost your mood and put the spring in your step!
Family fun holidays and packed picnics! Take the family on holiday! We love nothing more than seeing happy families so be sure to share your snaps! Get out about with the family this spring and get into adventure mode, pack a picnic and go explore!
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Spring time strolls. As it warms up a bit and nature starts coming back to life after the long winter months, there’s so much for the kids to explore and do. Make it a weekly thing to go for a walk as a family and as a result you'll see your children are growing up with a sense of the amazing outdoor world and all it holds. At this time of year children love to play games spotting wildlife, and we all enjoy looking for new-born lambs as they start appearing across the countryside, i know i do! Name one new thing you’ve learnt every time we go walking by challenging yourselves to identify different types of cloud, plants or animal tracks, its a great way to learn and embrace fun!
Clean cover cuddles There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than smooth legs on crisp new bedding to get you in the smiley snugly mood! Studies from the national sleep foundation prove that people are more excited about going to bed and sleep better when they have fresh clean bed linen to climb into!
Let us know what makes you happy about spring and share your spring time family photos to be featured! #salisburyparenting
Salisbury Parenting
@SalisParenting Salisbury Parenting
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HEALTH & FITNESS
With Toby Giles.
THE PURSUIT OF
HAPPINESS This month I wanted to talk about the real motivator and goal behind why we do what we do. At a time when magazines and the media are continually reminding us how we can ‘better’ ourselves by following faddy diets and doing amazing three minute workouts that will lose you three stone in two weeks… what is the real motivator?
Happiness is a combination of life satisfaction and feelings of fulfilment. Unfortunately we live in a world where we are guided by how we should look and not as much how we really feel.
It’s happiness. So what is happiness? Is it being more financially better off? Is it owning that super charged sports car you've always wanted? Or, being as slim as the celebrity that you saw in that popular weekly magazine? I truly believe it’s none of these. The fascinating thing is that I’m sure we all agree on this, but sometimes our actions don’t match the viewpoint. But why?
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I experienced this first hand when I was working for my fitness modelling agency in my ‘twenties.’ The pressure to look “good” 24/7 drove me to work crazy hard in the gym and immensely strict with my diet. Despite doing what I thought I loved, I was still sometimes left void of ‘happiness’. At times it would effect my sleep, my mood and, all in all, my life. Don’t get me wrong, there were huge parts of the journey I truly enjoyed, but what I’m highlighting is that I, like many others do, jumped feet first into a fitness venture with unrealistic and immeasurable goals. For others it can be as simple as having an expectation to receive results within the first week. There is also, often times, a mindset of ‘this lifestyle change will make my
@TheBodyLounge
life “complete”. Funnily enough, when the results don’t match the huge expectation and/or they don’t come quick enough, the whole process is dropped. Becoming fitter and healthier should be enjoyable and sustainable; we should have a good balance of exercise and nutrition in our lives and continue to experience the other great things life has to offer. In my opinion, this balance isn’t a ‘nice to have’ it’s fundamental. The key to this is patience and consistency. I.e. if you have an event or special date that you do want to get ready for (it happens!) Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get ready for it.
should just stop for a minute, think and be grateful for the love, family and friends that we already have in our lives. Our dreams and the other things we do and have are part of the ongoing journey of happiness. Here are my top five tips to help with a happier life: 1: Exercise – Getting more active, even if that means going for a brisk 10 minute walk at lunch time can help release those feel good endorphins! 2: Sleep – We hear it all the time but sleep is so important in controlling our mood and mind set. With more sleep we become more focused, our hormones
become more balanced and in turn we become more positive. 3. Get some fresh air – Studies show that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather, not only boosts positive mood but broadens thinking and improves working memory. 4: Laugh – Surround yourself with those who put a smile on your face and make time for your family and friends. 5: Play – Do something that you enjoy or even enjoyed as a kid. Dance like no ones watching, go and play on a trampoline or get out on the scooter with the kids… Just make it fun
“
Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is
”
If we can get the fundamentals right, it makes it a lot easier to attain that fundamental life balance. It’s a bit of a no brainer but it begins with nutrition… which can also often be the hardest part to maintain. If we can create a solid grounding with meals that include a good balance of fats proteins and carbohydrates, we’re off to a fine start. Faddy quick fix/1000 calorie a day diets may feel like are supporting the current goal, but it’s about the bigger picture. I believe that we concentrate far too much on chasing the dream to become happier when sometimes we
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MARTYN KITNEY... Having a new baby is usually a joyful event for everyone, ignoring the obvious excruciating pain of labour that all the beautiful mums go through, but it’s also a time of great change and responsibility. In an ideal world, we would all fall into our role as parents with the ease of Mary Poppins or Maria Von Trapp but, in the majority of cases, it takes time, patience and good communication to work our way through. In truth, there are lows, struggles, sadness and guilt, lack of energy, lack of sleep and lack of interest in the world around you. Many women suffer in silence. Their friends, relatives and health professionals don’t know how they’re feeling; how can they when it is difficult to explain what you’re actually going through? What is coming to light is the fact that fathers are suffering in silence too. It is currently recorded that 38% of fathers suffer from depression and 10% of those are depressed shortly after the birth of a child.
SAD DADDY. A dads story...
Postnatal depression can be lonely, distressing and frightening for those involved.
PND is understood to be a condition that affects women in the months following birth and research suggests that 1 in 10 women are diagnosed with it. The Symptoms • A persistent feeling of sadness and low mood • Lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the wider world • Lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
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• Trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day • Difficulty bonding with your baby • Withdrawing from contact with other people • Problems concentrating and making decisions • Frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby or yourself The causes are still unclear but some specialists believe that it is a result of hormonal changes in the body after giving birth. Others suggest it is lifestyle changes and the overwhelming responsibilities that come with having a baby.
Due to this many dads are now being diagnosed with postnatal depression; however, it is unclear exactly how many are. The main problem is the medical definition; is it situational or hormonal? Is it “regular” depression or PND? A lot also comes down to the fact that men notoriously don’t talk, especially about feelings and emotions so a “true” statistic is hard to formulate. I was no different. When my wife and I had our first son we somehow managed to cope; when expecting our second child everything was different. We had moved house 10 months earlier, I had lost my job and my wife had to give up her career. Life wasn’t how we had planned it; at the time, and with hindsight, one thing clearly stands out: our emotional well-being was all over the place. All the symptoms were there for the two of us: tiredness, feeling worthless, unable to sleep, irritable and angry and even being indifferent to our child. These feelings were tough to get my head around and not once did it occur to me that
I might have PND; why would I have it? It only happens to mums, right? Research is now showing that increased pressures of fatherhood and associated responsibility, financial pressures and change in lifestyle, as well as changes in relationships, combined with a lack of sleep and increased workload at home, all play a part in our mental well-being. All of which everyone goes through when they have a new baby; although I knew this, the fact that I felt indifferent towards my son stood out. With our first everything was new and we knew that we were muddling along; but with our second we just assumed that we knew what we were doing. The harsh truth, and something that is common with any form of depression, was that selfdoubt had crept in: The moment our youngest cried, for example, we automatically thought that it was because of something we had done wrong. My wife would say sentences like “I am a rubbish mum, the boys would be better off in care” or “You don’t get how hard this is to look after a toddler, a new baby, keep the house and support a husband!” These sentences were hard to hear; I knew exactly what she meant but I could never let her know that I felt the same. How could I say anything without causing more panic, upset and worry? I was the one constant that was meant to support her; deep down though her sentences would echo truth.
Yet, in many cases, it is still an underlying pressure to conform to that image and to maintain “family perfection” which some dads find hard. In fact, it’s often this sense of ‘not being in control’ in the transitional period to fatherhood that can seem most disruptive and confusing for them. Most days I would feel like a failure in some way but worse was that I could see that my wife felt the same but neither of us was able to support each other; this just became an added issue to contend with. My biggest advice to any parent, mum or dad, in this situation is to keep communication levels up. Ask your partner how they’re feeling, encourage them to express their emotions and talk about life together. Just asking how they are can make them feel cared about. In fact this type of communication is especially important when a new baby comes into the world as it will make you both feel important and wanted, amidst the continuous drum of routines, naps and feeding; for either parent.
are now struggling. I was lucky; I eventually spoke up, saw the doctor and sought treatment. It may be difficult, upsetting and frustrating to live with someone who has PND, but it’s important not to blame them for how they are feeling and to avoid being judgemental. The truth is that even if you’re the dad it can affect you in different ways but try and see clearly that it took two of you to create the child so the likelihood is that you’re both going through the same thing. if you think that you or your partner are showing these symptoms then please contact your doctor, midwife or health visitor and seek some support.
Did I have postnatal depression? I still don’t really know as it was never diagnosed as such, but those feeling were real; it is lonely and distressing and these emotions are not gender specific. Depression isn’t exclusive and can affect all types of people; whatever the cause, it seems that all types are parents
My own depression flared with constant negativity: “You’re the man of the house, provide for her mentally, physically, financially or emotionally. It’s what husbands and dads do” In my eyes I had to be the stereotypical “man”. I think a lot of men feel like this. Somewhere in every man is the want to be a Spartan Solider. We want to be King Leonidas from 300 and we want to see a problem facing us and know that we can scream “We are Sparta!” And kick the problem square in the chest.
@Mr_Kitney
I would feel like a failure but worse was that I could see my wife felt the same but neither of us was able to support each other; this just became an added issue to contend with
Martyn Kitney, Martyn's Thoughts. Salisbury Parenting
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Make It
Its time to get creative
Coffee filter colouring is a lot of fun to do and its fascinating for the little ones to sit and watch the colours flow together to make unique patterns. You can pick any colours you want to make your flower to fit any theme or pattern you like.
* Coffee filter * Washable markers (we used crayola brand) * Squirt bottle or small glass of water. * Pipe cleaner (brown or black would be ok too, but green is best)
1. Flatten out a coffee filter on a plate. 2. Scribble the filter with washable markers. We drew circles around with the markers, but you can just scribble blocks of colour instead if you prefer (I try to just let the kids do what they like... Younger children will be a bit more random and that's ok) 3. Use a squirt bottle to spray the coffee filter 2 or 3 times. I like to squirt right in the centre of the filter and then sit and watch the water wick the colours over the filter (this takes 4 or 5 minutes). 4. Young children will tend to over wet the filter... The project still works, but it won't turn out quite as pretty (the colours tend to blend too much if you soak the filter) To help prevent this, encourage them to squirt it just once in the middle and watch for a bit for so they can see the process unfold. You can always add more water later if it doesn't get wet all the way to the edge after 5 minutes or so. Coffee filter flowerLet dry (this takes about 1/2 an hour, but will take longer if the filter has been soaked by an over-zealous crafter!) 5. Cut 2 or 3 inches off your pipe cleaner and set this short piece aside. 6. Poke the end of the pipe cleaner through the centre of the coffee filter (it does not have to be exactly the centre). 7. Roll about an inch of the pipe cleaner end into a tight ball so the coffee filter won't fall off the pipe cleaner coffee filter flower scrunch the coffee filter around the end of the pipe cleaner. 8. Wrap the short piece of pipe cleaner you cut off earlier around the coffee filter/pipe cleaner to hold them together.
Optional: fold the stem of the pipe cleaner to make a leaf shape. Coffee filter flower craft'plant' your flower in a small vase, terra cotta pot or paper cup (a little plasticine in the bottom of a small pot or cup will hold the flower upright... Add a bit of green tissue paper or Easter basket grass to fill the pot or cup). Or... Attach your flower to the front of a card or gift to decorate it. You can even make a big bouquet of them and use it during dress up playtime!
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CRAFT TIME All the essentials every budding arty baby should have in their toolbox!
Crafty cutting! Every crafter needs a pair or two in their craft box, make sure these are child safety scissors as fabric scissors are very sharp! You can get blunted scissors from as little as 99p in your local supermarket
Pens, pencils, highlighters and colouring pens are the highlight *pun intended* of your craft box! Pencils are great for quick drawing and sketches whilst your coloured pencils and pens bring them to life!
Paintbrushes not only handy for painting but also spreading glue, sprinkling glitter and of course... painting!
Every arty crafty person needs a good stash of embellishments and glitter to put into their crafts tool box. Things like glitter and gems make your art work stand out and for children 5+ sewing big buttons and using the glue to stick them down. Pipe cleaners are a must for your craft box! Used for modelling and decoration they are an arts lovers must have! Salisbury Parenting
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Why I hate...
TODDLERS AND PUBLIC BATHROOMS. A MUMS POINT OF VIEW. We are all winging motherhood, lets face it, but there's a questionable line when it comes to our kids and using the public loo's... The dreaded question of 'I always come across is the big do or don’t you ”Do you use the disabled loo or not?!” Is enough to end the night with a bottle of M&S's red plonk wondering if you conquered the day and have succeeded at being the worlds best mother!
The one sentence my 3 year old can come out with when we are out and about is ”Mummy, I need a wee” you can’t very well let her wet herself and go back on all the hard work you’ve already achieved and the spare potty is 2 flights of stairs and half a mile away in a multi-storey car park… I have no choice but to take my daughter who must have the bladder the size of a grape to a public toilet! What’s the big issue with that? It’s not that I’m a stuck up foohoo mother with a pole up her arse, it’s just that with a potty training 2-year-old one simple trip to the toilet when out in public might as well be equal to the London marathon with obstacles. Every single thing you can imagine that could happen in a germ ridden toilet WILL HAPPEN, she’s a toddler, she will easily find a way to make these things happen. So you’ve trekked across town in the rain and you’ve made it to hell… I mean the public loo’s. Let the chaos commence. There isn’t a single sanitized surface for you to put your bag down on and you can’t even leave it with your friend in town with you because you need the bloody tardis with you for all of the contents, the hand sanitizer, the baby wipes, the well done stickers and the sweets used for bribery, so there’s no surface to put it on, no hook on the back of the door either… ace, looks like its going on the pee infested floor of the local public loo…. Once you’ve located the driest spot in the entire cubicle your ready to brace yourself for the sin that it ‘The toilet itself ’ you know those fussy pots that go and put squares and squares of toilet paper over the seat? well you might swell get that idea out your head now because there is absolutely no way in hell your squirmy toddler will sit nicely on them, as you quickly weigh
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up the risks… Let your child sit on the dry yellow stains of the seat or hold them hovering over it and hope they don’t decide it’ll be a giggle to piss all over you? The second thing most if not all toddlers are terrified of is the wind blower of the unsanitary world other wise known as the hand dryer! Dun dun dun! Thanks to the earth friends lack of paper towels or hand wipes, my daughter will refuse to dry her hands underneath the scary contraption that she thinks will eat her hands if you stand her under it, another case of a quick risk weigh up… hold that wet slippery hand that reminds you of a frog or let the little darling use your only pair of clean jeans to wipe her hands on? If there was any item in a bathroom or public loo, a toddler especially mine will find a way to touch it and yes that includes all the things they’re not supposed too, especially in a public toilet, and that includes the unmentionable! YUCK! It’s not always even in the bin, and then there is the actual bin which is always on the level that a small chubby arm can reach, it’s a treasure chest full of fun things to discover to a 2 year old… NO! Would be asking too much to take a wee yourself after the drama of helping the 2 year old go right? Your not asking them to move heaven and earth, just to stand still for 2 minutes, long enough to at least wee! But as soon as your buttocks touch base with that seat they are off like a road runner! They’ll drag the bag through from the cubicle next to you, they’ll lay down on that STD ridden floor and hold a conversation with the Lady struggling with bladder shyness and they will most definitely without a doubt unlock the door and make a bolt for the nearest exit leaving you pants down and having to chase your toddler out of the bathroom with your fly undone and your
shirt untucked…. Yep been there! The one issue I always come across is the big do or don’t you ”Do you use the disabled loo or not?!” Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it but its a big deal in the case of mother baby vs disabled weak bladder. I’m being serious… it’s an actual battle! For one tiny cubicle to hold me, the spawn that is toddler, the toilet, my tardis handbag and the disease ridden bin is asking just a little too much of the council I think, its insane. Sometimes what doesn’t belong in a toilet will end up there, and I’ve been there too, explaining to 02 I needed a new phone because mine got dropped down the loo? Not an ideal situation if I do say so! The disabled loo is the Ritz of bathrooms when it comes to public loos, there is space, there is a hook for you to put the bag and low and behold every now and then you come across the rare occurrence of a sink! You’re in a whole new world of torture now but it seems so good! What gets your first? The Aaaaaah of being able to pee knowing the toddler is slightly more safe from catching something or the guilt of wondering if you’ll walk out of that toilet to be faced with a cue of people who truly have to use that one and only loo for obvious reasons…. but hey if it means a quick, painless and germless bathroom.
trip with a toddler then its worth going to toilet etiquette hell for the peace!
Top
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lies we tell our children.
1) Police drop of – I’ve found the words ”If you do not behave i will be dropping you of at the police station because they deal with naughty people!” Safe to say they’re always polite when around a police man!
2) Your teeth will fall out if you don’t brush them – So its more of a flexible bend of the truth… yes your teeth will fall out if you don’t brush them, but telling your toddler that if she doesn’t brush her teeth in the next 5 minutes she will lose them all in her sleep that night was enough to get her pretty head moving to the bathroom!
3) The frozen dvd is broken – After being subject to watch frozen for what could possibly be the 6th time that day, i needed an urgent break before becoming frozen myself! After telling her that the dvd was lost she went and found it! (Dammit) So i put the dvd in upside down and told her Elsa and Anna had gone to bed! 4) Where did that baby come from mummy? – At just gone 2 years old my daughter asked me where my friends baby came from….I thought i had another 3 or 4 years to work on that
lie… apparently not… so my spur of the moment answer to this inquisitive little monkey…. ”Baby’s come from the cupboard in the sky” Not my best work admittedly but now we will go to friends to play and she will ask to get the baby out the sky cupboard…. which i think is a little funny!
7) The under the bed monster – I was once babysitting a good friends son, who at the time was 5, he had a strange attachment to the ‘monster under the bed’ so I told him if he wet the bed that his monster would drown and be no more… voila…. one dry night!
5) I’m watching you! – watch me mummy!! waaaaatch me jump!!! I must have sat there for what seemed forever watching them jump of the edge of the sofa repeatedly whilst I still had a stack of housework to get on with… Getting up to begrudgingly walk to the kitchen I get ‘Not watching me mummy!’ followed with ”Im watching you with the eyes in the back of my knees” Another white lie that I should have thought about!
8) You’ll turn into a banana – My daughter has an unhealthy addiction to bananas, to the point i might just have to buy shares in Tesco! We turned around to her a few weeks ago and told her if she continued to eat that many bananas that her tummy would glow yellow and she would look like a banana, now were faced with her telling people she’s a banana!
6) Daddy loves you more today – We have all had those moments where they come in and they want to play with you at 6am and your body just does not want to move…the lie for that morning… ”Daddy loves you more today and said he will go and play kitchens with you” Hello big empty bed and hello silence and extra sleep while daddy plays!
9) I’m checking its okay – As a parent I’m sure you understand the rare event we might get to eat something to ourselves without sharing it with those cherubs we call our children… But on occasion it happens because of the white lie number 9… ”I’m just testing its okay and not poisonous for you, I’m doing it for you sweet child”
10) Mummy will get poorly if the spider doesn’t die – My best and most treacherous lie must be the spider lie, i am a wussy mummy and am terrified of spiders, my daughter is not though and at 1 and a half i managed to get her to help….”Mummy is allergic to spiders and it will make mummy poorly if it’s not gone” so now every time we have a spider in the house… my toddler saves the day.. and the mummy!
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WEEK BY WEEK PREG If you have just found out you are pregnant or you are still trying to conceive, you have questions about what to expect. How will your body change? What's happening? How big is my baby? Our week-by-week guide will help you through your nine months of pregnancy so you can be a smarter, more confident mummy to be!!
WEEK 8 - Your Baby At eight weeks your baby is around two centimetres long now – still minuscule, but growing and developing every day. At this point in your pregnancy your baby is growing at around 1 millimetre per day, and the amniotic fluid in your womb increases by two tablespoons a week. After week eight your baby is officially called a ‘foetus’ which means ‘offspring’, but is still getting nutrition from the yolk sac rather than the placenta. Over the next few weeks the placenta will develop, forming structures called ‘chorionic villi’ which help attached the placenta to the womb wall. Your baby’s tiny little fingers and toes will have formed, though right now they are webbed and will continue to be so for several weeks, and their heart will be beating an amazing 160 beats a minute! Your baby’s lungs are developing this week, with the breathing tube extending from the throat to the lungs, while in their brain nerve cells are branching out and connecting to form primitive neutral pathways. This week your baby’s skin is still paper thin, and it still has that almost transparent, embryonic look. The colour pigment in their eyes is also starting to form at around eight weeks, but they won't properly open them until around 26 weeks, while their eyelids almost completely cover their eyes at this point.
WEEK 8 - Mummy-to-be Eight weeks in and although you won't have a visible bump yet, your womb is already be twice its normal size! You might find this causes you to wee more often as it presses down on your bladder – get used to it, it's going to get a lot bigger yet! You no doubt have your booking appointment in place now, and might be thinking about all the things you want to talk to the midwife about, such as antenatal screening tests. If you're eager to find out your due date our pregnancy due date calculator will give you a good idea before your first scan. You're probably still feeling pretty exhausted at this point, too, and needing your rest and plenty of sleep. Go for it! Don't try and fight it if you are worn out. If your morning sickness is still making getting up and about difficult in the morning, check out our morning sickness page for some ideas to make it a little more bearable.
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GNANCY CALENDER
PREGNANCY CALENDER
WEEK 9 - Your Baby As you enter week 9 your baby will transition from the embryonic stage to the foetal period. At this point they’ll be about one inch long and the size of a large bean or olive. Your baby's organs, nerves and muscles are all starting to function now and although you won’t be able to feel it, their tiny heart is now beating strong enough to be picked up by ultrasound devices like a Doppler, although this isn’t always possible depending on the position of your baby in the uterus. Their ears are also starting to develop, and their eyelids are now in place but will be fused shut until week 26. Meanwhile their little fingers and toes are starting to change from being titchy buds into actual digits.
WEEK 9 -Mummy-to-be By week nine, you might be finding your waistbands are getting a bit uncomfortable, even if you don't have a proper 'bump' on board! If you are still having waves of nausea at certain times of the day, the last thing you want is restrictive clothing around your tum, so go for stretchy, breathable fabric whenever possible, and make leggings, or jeggings and longer tops your friend! You might also be finding your bras are getting a bit tight as your breasts increase in size – although you probably won't want or need a maternity bra just yet, it might be an idea to get measured for some well fitting and comfortable bras to see you through this transitional stage. Your first appointment with your midwife is probably happening in the next few days or weeks – have you got a list of questions for her, or any niggles or concerns you want to flag up? Why not connect with other mums on our community boards to share experiences of these early weeks?
We would love to hear your pregnancy journey's! Share your stories and pictures with us! Post them on facebook, twitter or instagram and tag us or email us privately for a chance to be in with winning a mumma-to-be pamper hamper!
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Running-10 km - Individual 10k Unattached Runners Running-10 km - 10k Runners – Attached Walking-10 km - 10k Walkers Running - 3k - Fun Running 3k Walking-3k - 3k Walkers Under-16 Entry - 10k Run - Individual Entry Under-16 Entry - 10K Walk - Individual Entry Under-16 Entry - 3K Run - Individual Entry Under-16 Entry - 3K Walk - Individual Entry
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WIN! COVER CUTIE
COMPETITION 2016
WIN A FAMILY PHOTOSHOOT WITH ONE OF SALISBURY'S BEST PHOTOGRAPHERS, VALID FOR 6 MONTHS FROM TIME WON!
DOES YOUR LITTLE ONE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE OUR COVER STAR? Whatever you’re up to in the run up to summer, don’t forget your camera! Make sure you take some great photos of your little one and enter him or her in to our next Cover Star competition and win the opportunity of a free photo shoot and front cover of Salisbury Parenting!
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© M Crooks
Alternate Fridays
25th Mar, 8th Apr, 22nd Apr, 6th May, 20th May, 3rd Jun, 17th Jun, 1st July Get outside, get fit and discover the wonderful wildlife living on your doorstep! The site is dog free with buggy friendly paths. The Blashford Project is a partnership project between Hampshire and Isle of Wight Wildlife Trust, the New Forest District Council, Sembcorp Bournemouth Water and Wessex Water
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Time:
10.30am – 12.00pm
Booking:
Just turn up!
Location:
Education Centre, Blashford Lakes Nature Reserve, Ellingham Drove, near Ringwood
Event charge:
£3 donation
The smallest things take up the most room in our heart
Baby’s first year • Newborn (2 - 3 weeks old) • Baby
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