September 2016

September 2016

Celebrating the Summer

Orientation Week

Code of Student Conduct

A photo essay of Trinity students’ summers from home and abroad.

A first year and orientation leader look back at their nautical adventures.

An in-depth look at the Trinity College Code of Student Conduct and its enforcement.

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September 2016 A Letter from the Editors p.2

Features

Alumni Mac Chapin p.3 A History of Orientation Week Kaitlyn Simpson p.4 Strachan Hacks Angela Gu p.5 Earth Time with Emma Emma Norman p.6

Interview with Dr. Alan Earp by:

Weston Miller sits down with former Trinity Dean Dr. Alan Earp to discuss his illustrious career and the changes Trinity experienced during his tenure.

Pg. 10-11

Trinity and Diversity Han Han p.7 Gender Desegregating Welch Klara Strasser & Isaac Wright p.8-9 A Few Words on Israel & Palestine Abigail Lendvai p.12

by:

Trinity Goes Abroad

Sofia Jelovac & Danielle Pal

Trinity students describe the time they spent outside of Toronto during the summer in this photo essay compiled by Sofia Jelovac and Danielle Pal. Pg. 13-15

Summer Styles at Sea Billie Rose Owen p.18-19 O-Week: The First Year Experience Emily Larman p.20 Trinity College, as told by UofT Rachel Chen p.21 For The Neurodivergent Vanessa Peruzza p.22-23

Orientation Week 2016 by: Julianne de

Sexing It Up At Trin Parties Allegra Wiesenfeld p.29 OndiFAQ Ondiek Oduor p.30-31

Gara

Orientation leader Julianne de Gara reflects on “From Sea to Trinity” and provides her words of wisdom to the incoming students for the upcoming year.

Pg. 16-17

Orientation Week Alcohol Policy Avneet Sharma p.27 Anti-Klamactic Damian Klambauer p.28

Weston Miller

Discipline at Trinity College by:

Madeline Torrie

Madeline Torrie dissects Trinity’s Code of Student Conduct and reports on students’ sentiments about its implementation.

Pg. 24-26

Horoscopes Rachel Copp Clark p. 32

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Salterrae • September 2016

Masthead

Editor-in-Chief

Treasurer

Arjun Gandhi

Rhiannon Langford

Senior Copy Editor

Director of Photography

Senior Design Editor

Director of Communications

Danielle Pal

Madeline Torrie Copy Editors

Mira Pijselman Ethan Raymond Anna Trikas

Design Editors

Amanda La Mantia Shubhi Sahni Claire Shenstone-Harris

Sofia Jelovac

Avneet Sharma

Columnists

Rachel Copp Clark Julianne de Gara Angela Gu Damian Klambauer Emily Larman Emma Norman Ondiek Oduor Billie Rose Owen Vanessa Peruzza Kaitlyn Simpson Allegra Wiesenfeld

Staff Writers

Rachel Chen Abigail Lendvai Weston Miller Klara Strasser Madeline Torrie Isaac Wright

Writers

Mac Chapin Han Han Avneet Sharma

Photographers and Illustrators Sydney Bradshaw Pierre Kochel Amanda La Mantia Ondiek Oduor Alexandra Portoraro Claire Shenstone-Harris

Letter From The Editors Members of College, September is upon us once again and, as always, with it comes enough sodium to fill another issue of the Salterrae. Now that you are done telling people about your foreign internships, newfound admiration for the environment, and Toga Party mayhem, you can read about your peers doing those things in this issue.

All kidding aside, thank you so much for picking up this issue and taking a look at some of your fellow Trinitrons’ work. The Editor-in-Chief would like to extend sincere thanks to each and every contributor, who has put in a great deal of their time and effort into crafting 2016-17’s first issue of the Salterrae. He could not have done it without you. Seriously, he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He was literally elected, because no one else wanted to do it.

The theme for the Salterrae this year is: perspectives. Years from now, we want Trinity students and alumni to be able to understand the diverse culture of Trinity in the 2016-2017 year. (The absence of 1T6 makes that mission a whole lot easier.) We want future Trinitrons to be able to experience the laughs, the events, and the salty opinions described by our incredible student body. If you would like to be part of this endeavour (and Trinity’s media monopoly), feel free to submit any writing pieces, photographs and illustrations to salterrae@trinlife.com for the next issue of the Salterrae. We’ll be back before you know it.

Until then, Trinity...

Stay salty, Arjun Gandhi, Danielle Pal & Madeline Torrie

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Mac Chapin • Alumni Column

Breaking Up

with academia

By: Mac Chapin, 1T6

G

raduating: that’s the

goal that I worked towards for four years, and it’s now the goal that you’re working towards. For years, my peers and I strove to get that paper finished so that we could get the grade we needed so that we could get the credit we needed so that we completed our requirements so that we could finally walk across that stage to get the ultimate boon—that degree.

But the question that I never really asked myself until fourth year was,

“Wait, what the heck am I going to do after this is over?”

When I first got to Trin, I was one of the many that thought that I was going to be the one to break through. I thought I would go to law school and then become a diplomat. And boy did I chase that dream. I majored in International Relations and Languages, joined all the right clubs, and was making all the right connections. But at some point during my time at Trinity, I realized that I really hated everything I was doing. I didn’t want to be a lawyer, and I definitely did not want to work in the Foreign Service. So I made the decision in my fourth year that I was going to put academia on hold for the time being and get some concrete work experience.

And that brought me to my question: what the heck was I going to do? When your career path lines up with the Trinity mindset, you’re golden.

If you want to go to grad, law or med school, there are so many resources at your disposal. Career panels, mentorship opportunities, networking events, you name it and Trinity’s got it. Now that’s awesome and all, and I’m glad that people with those interests get so much attention, but when

you’re no longer on that path, it is easy to feel a little unloved and unsupported. That’s why I am writing this article. Just because an area is unloved by the institution doesn’t make it any less important or noble a goal.

Basically, Trin trained me to never accept no as an answer even when what I wanted was unreasonable.

I decided to take my interest in television and culture and apply for positions in advertising. Now part of me was under the impression that I was going to get into the Mad Men world and that it would be a piece of cake—I was just oh so wrong.

In my last semester of fourth year, when everyone I knew was writing applications to grad schools, I was writing three cover letters a week for different agencies that just didn’t answer me. I was having panic attacks thinking that I had made an enormous error, and that I was an idiot for not going directly to grad school like literally everyone else I knew. You can check the receipts; I know everyone around me had basically had it with me stressing about my future.

Now I’m not saying that you should never go to grad school. At some point in my life, I might end up back at school for a master’s or a professional certificate of some kind. As one of my first year professors told me at my convocation, “If you end up back at school in the future, that was meant to be, but you should only come back if you know exactly why you want to.” Don’t waste your time on a vanity master’s to delay deciding what you want to do with your life. You should dive right in and keep trying new jobs until you find one that you get excited about. And don’t forget money.

You make money while you figure everything out, which makes a huge difference. I promise.

But the funny thing is, it all worked out.

After four years at Trinity, if I had learnt anything, it was that if I put my mind to something, it was going to happen. Everyone says that the real world is dog-eat-dog, but honestly—in comparison to Trinity—the real world can feel like a puppy pen. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from getting to where I wanted to be. I was going to networking events weekly and getting coffees with strangers in the industries I wanted to be in.

I wrote so many cover letters that I actually had to buy an external hard drive, because there wasn’t any space on my computer to save them.

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The important thing to take away from my experience is that, even though it isn’t brought up regularly, not going to grad school and instead joining the workforce is totally doable. It is just as legitimate a path as pursuing further education. If you don’t know what you want to do, don’t spend a boat load of money on a master’s in a subject that you’re not even that passionate about. Find an industry that’s always seemed interesting to you, and try working in it. You’ll find out pretty quickly if you like it or not, and you’ll even have made a little money in the meantime.

You’ve been dating your degrees for years; maybe it’s time to take a break.

Salterrae • September 2016

a history of

orientation week

traditions change, but the wild times continue

By: Kaitlyn Simpson Photographs from 8T6 Stephanos

Trinity College alumnus Peter Land’s summary of Orientation Week in the 1990 edition of the Stephanos is still applicable today. He said,

“Frantic name memorization, coupled with having to cope with all the damn keys they give you, proved too much for some who, no doubt, often turned red as they asked silly questions such as ‘Where is Strakan Hall?’”

Filled with new friends, fun, and occasional controversy, Orientation Week has always been an integral part of the Trinity experience. But what is the history behind it? You shall soon find out, as the following is a comprehensive guide to Trinity College’s frosh celebrations and traditions. In the loving words of Trinity’s 1978 student handbook: “Even though much of this tradition seems at times outdated, or just a tradition because someone has done it two years in a row, it helps to create the friendship and fraternity students sometimes need when feeling lost, at the University of Toronto.”

ORIGINS

The exact origins of Orientation Week are a little murky; however, it seems that they are tied

to the Trinity College Literary Society, colloquially known as The Lit, and their original initiations proceedings. While these initiations started as relatively harmless acts - first-years were required to make speeches, sing songs or generally make themselves “an object of mirth and good natured raillery” - they became more demanding.

First years would have to survive a ‘rout’ where they were woken in the middle of the night and taken to a basement room to “drink from a pewter vessel what might have been, for all [they] knew, a potion of deadly poison”. After going through several of these initiations proceedings, the first-years would be accepted into The Lit.

Unsurprisingly, the administration had a problem with these types of initiations, especially as they became “more serious and far less excusable.”

There were initiation-bans imposed by a few Provosts, but somehow, they always returned. It became clear that “as long as they were mild affairs, they were winked at by the Dean.”

Over time, these initiations grew into the weeklong Orientation event that we have today.

EVENTS

Of course, Orientation Week wouldn’t be what it is without the memorable events that take place!

Over the years, some traditional events have ended (i.e. Cake Fight), others have been created (i.e.

Awkward Lunch), and some special ones have managed to survive the test of time (i.e. Quad Debate).

Orientation Committees have continuously tried to make the week as memorable and special as possible for the incoming Trinitrons, which often involved getting creative when it came to events.

Some student favourites include: the 1982 Safari to Kensington Market, “a must for the adventurer and the bargain hunter”; the 1988 Casino Night, “Strachan Hall was transformed into a gambler’s paradise”; and the 1985 Camp Excursions, “the ‘land of many tents’ played host to windsurfing, sailing, canoeing, swimming, and thumper”.

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SONGS, CHANTS AND YELLS

College songs, chants, and yells have always been a staple in Trinity’s Orientation Week events.

Songs entitled, “The Blue and White”, “The Trinity Man and the Saint” (which holds the origins of our “Crumpets and Tea” chant) and “Met’ Agona” were sung with absolute pride.

“Met’ Agona”, in particular, was a special chant for many Trin students. It’s unclear when the college adopted and created it but it is assumed to be sometime in the late 1800s. The song has a Greek origin and has undergone many modifications and lyrical changes over the years. Charles Shortt, class of 1879, and Kirwan Martin, class of 1882, wrote about the song in an article for the Trinity University Review saying, “We regard Met’ Agona, with its beautiful and appealing melody, as a very valuable and distinctive Trinity tradition, one which has a very great appeal to most Trinity men, and one which will continue in its appeal and be of a bond”.

Of course, upperclassmen, as always, teased the incoming frosh with a yell called “Freshmen”: Bahoo, bahaa, Bahoo, bahaa, I want to go home to Pa and Ma. Freshmen, freshmen, rah! Rah! Rah! Notably, “We are the Salt of the Earth” has stuck around throughout the years and remains to be one of Trinity’s most popular chants.

If there is one thing that the history of Orientation Week can teach you, it’s that, no matter the time, the events have always been a blast.

Angela Gu • Strachan Hacks

Strachan Hacks

By: Angela Gu Illustrator: Alexandra Portoraro

Welcome to autumn, Trinity! Welcome to the sweater weather, new boots, leaves falling, perfect lighting for perfect photos, breeze lifting my hair like I’m a model in a shampoo commercial… I love this season because it’s just like me – indecisive as heck. It’s hot one day and cold the next (“you change your mind, like a girl changes clothes, ‘cause you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no…”) and there are so many possible drinks and desserts to make!

Strachan is at your disposal, and with a little creativity it can provide the perfect ingredients for festive foods and drinks. Dining hall drinks are mediocre at best, but if you have a minute or two (or thirty if you really want to procrastinate), you can make something really special with what’s on hand! Be your own barista! I’m just thankful that Strachan doesn’t have pumpkin spice anything because I despise that stuff with a passion.

If you’re a PSL person, go to your local Starbucks and drink that fake-tasting sludge. I can’t help you here. No one can.

But if you’re looking to get out of your rut of morning coffee with 2% milk and sugar, let’s get started with the first installment of Strachan Hacks. It’s time to (literally) mix it up!

CAFÉ MOCHA

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Grab a mug (I suggest bringing your own travel mug because Strachan mugs are tiny and the hot chocolate machine is temperamental and likes to spew hot liquid all over the place) Fill it part way with coffee.

2 Fill up the rest with hot chocolate.* Alterif you want to drink it right away, 3 natively, or are extremely maladroit like me and are prone to spilling your hot drinks, use chocolate milk.

Stir, drink and enjoy.

4 *The ratio of coffee to hot chocolate is 1:1.

ICED COFFEE

a cup (again, I suggest 1 Grab bringing your own travel mug,

since some glasses are already cracked and will leak. Plus, being able to bring your drink to class is pretty nice.)

2 Fill it up halfway with ice. milk or cream or soymilk. (In Decem3 Add ber: this is pretty bomb with egg nog.)

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If you have time, do this step before steps 1-3. Dissolve your sugar with some coffee in a mug. If you have lots of time on your hands, sit at a table in Strachan with friends and chat until your coffee cools. Alternatively, you could study or work on that essay.

Then add your cold coffee to your ice and milk glass.

don’t have time, just use extra ice in 5 Ifstepyou2 and dump your sugar and coffee into

it all at once. It’ll be a little watered down, but still okay.

2 Optional: add ice. it sit. Waiting times vary with different 3 Let kinds of fruit.

ICE CREAM FLOAT up your cup (but not all the way, because 1 (Fill it’ll overflow when the ice cream starts melt-

ing) with your favourite soft drink. There’s root beer. I don’t like rootbeer, but some people do.

2 Add a scoop or two of ice cream. a spoon, a straw and some napkins; be 3 Grab prepared for a mess. that mess and take a photo of that 4 Make beautiful mess for your Snapchat story or Instagram. But clean it up after.

AFFOGATO some ice cream 1 Scoop into a bowl. This works pretty well with any flavour but strawberry.

if you’re like me, you don’t use any sugar 6 Or at all and it makes the process so much easier.

Dress up your ice cream if you want to, a few chocolate chips never hurt anyone.

2 well. (The best way to procrastinate, 7 Stir however, is to watch the milk and coffee lanFill a mug with coffee (or cappuccino or hot guorously meld into one. Be mesmerised by the process of diffusion instead of the seventeenth Cold War paper you have to write.)

And if your cup cracks, it’s not the 8 Enjoy. end of the world. There are paper towels for that.

BETTER INFUSED WATER

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chocolate). It’s supposed to be done with espresso, but Strachan doesn’t do espresso they really need to get on that.

Grab a spoon (you’d be surprised at the number of times I’ve forgotten)

4 Go back to your table and pour your hot drink over the ice cream and enjoy!

5 One doesn’t have to be limited by the tiny some fruit in a cup or travel mug. Break1 Put fast fruit is the best for this: there are orange tea selection, by the sometimes too bitter/ wedges, grapefruit wedges, watermelon wedges! Of course they won’t fit with the peel/rind on, but it’s so easy to just cut/pull the fruit off and pop it into your bottle. Alternatively, invest in a wide-mouthed water bottle, or a cool one like mine that opens at a wider section for this purpose. Outside of breakfast hours, there is fruit in the fridge and in the salad bar.

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too acidic coffee, or by the same juices over and over again. The possibilities are endless, so I will leave you here to discover Strachan for yourselves.

Shake it up a little, I mean it!

Salterrae • September 2016

Earth Time with Emma Is Living “Waste-Free” Realistic?

By: Emma Norman

I

so much as one toe in the Trin bubble in the spring of 2016, then you probably heard of “Green” Quad Party and the commotion that surrounded it. It all started when the Trinity College Environmental Society (TCES) and the Heads team decided to work together in an attempt to keep the party waste free. But what was originally a simple plan to make Quad Party as eco-friendly as possible soon devolved into internet outrage and Facebook fights when the benevolent citizens of Trinity realized they would not be getting the potato chips they had been promised. Chips, you see, come in chip wrappers, and chip wrappers are not recyclable. And no matter how many times people cried “CHIP DISCRIMINATION” or helpfully suggested that the Heads instead spend $300 on SunChips (which have compostable bags apparently), our brave party planning team would not back down on the decision to keep the party waste-free. f you had

Given the hassle, outrage, and flack the TCES inevitably got (because Trinity is the way it is), why was it so important to remain waste-free?

It would just be so much easier to let the people have their chips. Well, consider the following two reasons: first, as waste breaks down, it can release gases that contribute to the warming of the atmosphere; and second, waste disposal can cause water and soil contamination. In other words, waste disposal can cause global warming and less healthy environments for the growth of crops.

If both of these continue, the earth will have a harder time producing crops—like potatoes. And then we won’t have any chips to eat ever.

The purpose of Green Quad Party was to begin what is hopefully a future of sustainable, lowenvironmental-impact events at Trinity. And it was the perfect example of how difficult it is to be waste-free. In theory, reducing the amount of trash you produce to little or nothing is an awesome goal. Magazines and websites publish pieces lauding those who have done it, with headlines such as “Zero Waste Woman Can Fit Four Years of Trash into a Jar!” It always seems worthy to me to try and emulate these people, at least until I scroll down to the next paragraph and read about how this woman makes her own toothpaste. Green Quad Party was nearly foiled

Illustrator: Alexandra Portoraro by something as simple as chips, and in a person’s daily life, there are more things than chips creating waste.

Waste is generally defined as anything that has been disposed of that is unable to be recycled or composted. Here are a few things that fit on that list: toothpaste tubes and regular toothbrushes, as the plastic often isn’t the right variety to be recycled; fast food packaging, because the paper and cardboard is too soaked with food residue; paper cups from your favorite coffee places, like Starbucks or Tim Hortons, which have wax on the inside that prevents them from leaking (and prevents them from being recyclable); and—in certain areas—plastic grocery bags should be kept from the recycling as well, as not all recycling plants can process them.

Some of these issues have simple fixes. It’s not so hard to bring a reusable cup to Starbucks (and “it’s for the environment” is a great excuse to splurge on a cute thermos). Depending on where you are, paper fast food wrappers can be composted, and certain grocery stores have plastic bag recycling programs. If you really couldn’t give up chips, I suppose you could just settle for SunChips for the rest of your life. But these aren’t the only sacrifices one would have to make to be waste free. I would make another list, because there are many more, but there’s one big one I’m thinking of here, one that affects specifically people with vaginas. That’s right: sanitary products. No more pads or tampons for you, period people. They obviously cannot be recycled, primarily due to the fact that they are covered in blood. So for us, going waste-free becomes even more difficult, as we must switch to a menstrual cup or reusable pads (I’ve been told these are similar to reusable diapers) or some other form of environmentally friendly sanitary product.

To be honest, even for Gaia, this is not a sacrifice I am willing to make.

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When you consider all of these individually small sacrifices together, it rapidly becomes apparent that a waste-free lifestyle is unattainable for the average person. There are so many products that have become essential to our twenty-first century lives that we are unable or unwilling to live without them. For some products, there are alternatives, but often these come at a high cost.

(One time, in a boutique on Queen St. West, I saw a package of four “eco-friendly” wooden toothbrushes being sold for $25!) This makes waste reduction inaccessible for those with lower incomes, despite the fact that they are generally more impacted by environmental change. And for many products, there are simply no alternatives; we must either buy into them, or live without them. As consumers, our hands are forced.

It is apparent that being waste-free is something we must move towards as a society, which means we should each individually do our best.

Consumers should pressure companies to create eco-friendly, sustainable, waste-free products. I never took economics, so I don’t really know how this works, but in the future I would like to see stores competing to sell the cheapest, most lowenvironmental-impact goods.

To some extent, it’s already begun; but stopping global warming isn’t just a job for suburban mothers who spend all their money at Whole Foods. I want to see Walmart selling allnatural cotton and Canadian Tire advertising biodegradable tires. I want easily accessible, cheap, green products for everyone.

That’s the dream, but unfortunately as of right now it is not possible to live waste-free on a broader scale. So if the occasional waste-free event is the best we can do, let’s do them to the best of our ability. Let’s continue hosting green quad parties, and start hosting green toga parties, green pub nights and green Conversats. It may not be much, but every little bit helps. And it may be difficult, but it’s not making-your-own-toothpaste difficult.

It’s as good as we can do right now, and it’s one step closer to a better future.

Han Han • Trinity and Diversity

An ongoing journey Trinity and Diversity:

By: Han Han

I

N THE EVENING of February 22, 2016, a group of students, most of them Chinese international students, were enjoying themselves and celebrating the famous Lantern Festival in the Kirkwood kitchen to mark the end of the Chinese New Year. However, their fun would not last long as the students were dispersed by a Don for “being too loud”. The students were frustrated; they were not aware of any wrongdoings, especially because this incident, now known as the “Lantern Incident,” took place well before St. Hilda’s quiet hours began. The students faced the dark realization that this incident, like many similar incidents before it, embodied the fundamental and recurring issue of cultural ignorance at Trinity College.

International students’ at-times isolated appearance imply no means of disinterest in community life, but simply a different method of approach, rendered by different shared cultural experience.

Though Trinity’s administration boasts that the college is one of the most diverse colleges at the University of Toronto, the students involved in the Lantern Incident know that this is not reflected well within student governance or student life.

The concerns about representation and cultural segregation that these students had with the college were not pioneering discoveries; the problems were deeply rooted for years but had been concealed by students’ more immediate pursuits of

academic priorities. After the Lantern Incident, however, the action made by the Don sparked a revolutionary spirit that would live on to create the organization now known as the Trinity College Chinese Students Association (TCCSA).

The TCCSA aims to tackle the challenges of diversity, primarily felt by the international student body, in all areas of college life. The organization believes that the hyper-recognition of different cultures at Trinity has had strong self-segregating effects among cultural groups. This is something the TCCSA wants to eliminate. When it was established, the TCCSA focused on enhancing the role of the visible international students in college life. International students’ at-times isolated appearance imply no means of disinterest in community life, but simply a different method of approach, rendered by different shared cultural experience. Most Trinity students, regardless of where they are born and raised, share great similarities; they are often overachievers, academically strong and proud to be associated with the college.

Despite this, their actions diverge, solely due to their learned differences in approach. Gu Hongming, a scholar and one of the first ever Chinese students to study in the West, once observed that Chinese people, for cultural reasons, simply talked less in conversations, unintendedly estranging the Europeans and Americans on the Shanghai Bund who were trying to befriend them. Neither the Chinese, nor the Europeans or Americans, had unfriendly intentions. It can be argued that Gu Hongming’s experience parallels the situation at Trinity. Students with different cultures are likely hiding great potential and, if integrated well, could make brilliant additions to the college. Giv-

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ing everyone the ultimate Trinity experience— one with care, consideration, and love—sounds like a good route to greater community engagement for students of all cultures.

The start of the fall semester has been very promising. During Orientation Week, participation of students of all cultures was encouraged through diverse initiatives, including an International Students’ Mixer and Seminar. The Office of the Dean of Students expressed that university is “not about who you were or where you are from, but who you are and who you will become.” Extending this notion to the college, we must continue to strive towards enhanced awareness in the college and among its people to break the natural tendencies for cultural groups to self-segregate and move into a hermetic realm of the college.

Students with different cultures are likely hiding great potential and, if integrated well, could make brilliant additions to the college.

In addition, student groups, like the TCCSA, who believe that more should be done towards the greater goal of community building, should work to celebrate the diversity of the college, and more importantly, emphasize our similarities. International and domestic students possess more parallels than most people expect; making these parallels known should be the first step in building a more inclusive and warm college community.

Salterrae • September 2016

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE DEAN

Trinity College’s Gender Desegregation

By: Isaac Wright & Klara Strasser

Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are the writers’ and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Salterrae’s editors or executive team.

Writers’ Note: The term “all-gendered” is used by the Office of the Dean of Students at Trinity for the sections of residence free from gender barriers. It has been used in this article for consistency; the use of this term does not reflect the choices of the writers.

Dear Dean Moore,

After the ninth and final TCM of last year, a new letter was submitted, recommending more flexibility and cooperation. The motion put forward was to write a letter requesting that at most one common room house of Trinity would be stripped of gender specifications. Initially specific houses were proposed, but the final motion mandated a letter that did not nominate a house, but instead stressed the need for “extensive student consultation,” in the matter.

A difficult policy challenge is coming your way. Sensitive and complex, allgendered housing in residence is typical of issues that arise in modern liberal democracies. Our reason for writing you is that we feel the suggestions sent to you after the ninth Trinity College Meeting (TCM) last April, are particularly viable. Accommodating some, without imposing on others, is the heart of the matter. It is important to take into account all reasonable preferences, as expressed in a neutral and open environment. We believe that after taking into account the varying needs expressed, it is time for Trinity to start making meaningful changes to better accommodate some without imposing on others.

Residence in the Broader U of T Community You would be unsurprised to learn that there are many variations of residence offered by the differing colleges at U of T. Similar to Trinity, St. Michael’s College residences offer only single-sex facilities, with single sex washrooms. Unlike Trinity, however, there are no listed co-ed or all-gendered spaces. University College, New College and Victoria University all offer dormitory style residences. In UC and New College, 98% and 77% of residents live on co-ed floors, respectively. These three colleges also offer single-sex housing options - University College has one female floor, New College offers two female floors as well as one male, and Annesley Hall at Victoria is exclusively female. Woodsworth and Innis both offer suite-style accommodation. Single-sex suites at Innis are located on co-ed floors. Although they offer a co-ed suite option on their forms, they have not received enough requests to fill one. Therefore, the Innis suites are currently entirely single-sex.

Residence through Trinity History Upon establishment by Bishop John Strachan in 1851, Trinity College was an all-male institution.

It remained so until 1884 when the first female students enrolled. Four years later, St. Hilda’s College was created in order to accommodate Trinity’s bright young women. In 1925, the men’s residence relocated to its current Hoskin Avenue location, while St. Hilda’s moved many times before settling in 1938 on Devonshire Place. In 2005, both Trinity College and St. Hilda’s College became co-ed and were divided into male and female houses.

Many people today, including the Office of the Dean of Students, feel that Trinity is behind the broader U of T community in its residence offerings, and would like to see a modernization of our living spaces.

In UC and New College, 98% and 77% of residents live on co-ed floors, respectively.

Largely, other colleges feel it is necessary to offer all-gendered housing in order to suit student’s differing needs. This was laid out in a response from Dean McCormack-Smith, of New College, who said: “I believe our inclusion of gender neutral space provides a welcome, open and inclusive community” and “allow[s] students to move into a safe space”.

Waves of Change At last year’s eighth TCM, the student body voted on a motion to write a letter from the TCM to you. The initial proposal was to ask for the removal of gender specifications for the four common room houses (Main, Massey, Welch, and Whitaker). After a long and intense debate, the motion was amended to specify that one floor of Welch be modified. It passed with 45 votes for, 41 against, and 5 abstentions.

Are All-Gendered Residences Beneficial?

Spaces free from gender barriers are certainly important for those who re-

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Isaac Wright & Klara Strasser • Gender Desegragation quest them, and those who would feel more secure in these environments.

But are they beneficial to the people who would otherwise be comfortable living in single-sex housing?

their housing preference. Balancing the demand for single-sex and all-gendered housing is the key to ensuring a positive environment at Trinity. So what do we do, on an infrastructural level, to accommodate Members of College that request all-gendered residence?

Many arguments were made at the TCM last year, including one suggesting that all-gendered housing is safer than the alternative. There were also claims that it fostered a better community between men, women, and those whose gender identity does not fit within the binary.

Building for Demand In our opinion, the gender desegregation of social houses at Trinity should happen progressively, starting in Main/No-Name at St. Hilda’s. In the fall of last year, 3rd Main and 4th Body were converted to all-gendered living areas. These areas will accommodate 80 students in the coming year. Financially speaking, this pre-existing infrastructure facilitates the transition process. A Head lives next to the well-used common room, which is a great place to socialize. This also dismisses any misconceptions of all-gendered areas not being ‘as social’ as other houses. Main/No-Name connects to Kirkwood where there is a kitchen and an academic Don’s apartment. Additionally, all bathrooms are large and much easier to renovate in accordance with acceptable standards for all-gendered living spaces. Converting Main/ No-Name entirely into all-gendered housing is the most practical choice and also provides equality in access to a social house with a common room and student head.

When we looked for substantive evidence backing sweeping gender desegregation, we could not find any. There was, undoubtedly, evidence that suggests that social integration between genders is better than isolation. There was also evidence pointing out that those who request such all-gendered spaces would feel safer in them. However, in reading literature on the topic, one simply cannot argue that a completely all-gendered housing situation would be more secure than our current living arrangement, for those who willingly live in it. It is good that Trinity is the type of community in which people of all genders interact with relatively little social division based on gender. This means that it is not the type of residence that needs massive overhaul in order to be safe for the average student. To claim that there is concrete statistical proof to the contrary would be misleading at best.

A Case for the Status Quo In our opinion, following the suggestions given after the ninth TCM is the best option.

Continuing to meet the demand of those that request all-gendered spaces in Trinity is important, and necessary to maintain a well-balanced community. Those that want all-gendered residence should absolutely be accommodated. All Members of College deserve a place in which they feel comfortable.

We are comfortable, and there is no evidence that we are in any sort of danger or are otherwise disadvantaged as a result of our current living environment.

What is equally important, is that students at Trinity are able to make their own choices. Our college as it stands, has a very liberal, well-integrated residence. People of all genders socialize together, eat together, and participate in various clubs, the overwhelming majority of which are not gender- or sex-specific. There are no restrictions or rules regarding who may enter gendered dormitories - Trinity is not as conservative as it once was. In fact, unlike many other colleges, there are virtually no checks or restrictions on people visiting from other colleges, regardless of gender, sex, or duration of stay. This is not the description of an environment unsafe for the average student. For the most part, residents of single-gendered housing do not need to be saved from anything; in fact, we expect that most of Trinity’s residence community would describe single-sex residences as a comfortable, positive experience. In an intellectual community that encourages friendship between all gender identities, such as Trinity, we are confident that separating men and women by nothing more than one wall does not impede their ability to be reasonable. It’s difficult to imagine how or why it would be more beneficial to their social development for young men and women to live in closer proximity to each other.

Our recommendation for only one residence house to be desegregated is based on our statistics on our occupancy of 4th Body and 3rd Main.

There is currently no place in the residence application form to formally indicate a preference for all-gendered housing. In order to better monitor the demands of students and accurately address the needs of people who would rather be housed in these areas, this should be an explicit item on a revised residence application form.

Next Steps The debate is a polemical one, especially when the choice is ours as Members of College. We want to make a forward-thinking decision in a structured and functional way.

A dramatic change should only occur if there is a demand for it. This does not seem to be the case. By being one of the last colleges at UofT to begin providing students with mixed residences, we should not make any mistakes in the process. On student-run websites, some have complained of the accommodation of those who do not feel comfortable with co-ed living either for personal reasons or because of cultural or religious beliefs. It would be unfortunate to compromise the positive environment in communities like Massey and Whitaker when there is no evidence of such adjustments being necessary for the wellbeing of the student body.

All eyes are presently turned towards the administration and their management of the current realignment. We are eagerly observing and awaiting the changes due next academic year.

Sincerely, Issac Wright and Klara Strasser

We are comfortable, and there is no evidence that we are in any sort of danger or are otherwise disadvantaged as a result of our current living environment. So long as this continues to hold true, there is no reason to completely get rid of single-sex housing so long as students request it.

Acknowledgements: The writers would like to sincerely thank Dean McCormack-Smith of New College, Dean Worgen of Innis College, Dean Scott of University College, and Assistant Dean of Students Adam Hogan for providing them with statistics and input.

We recognize that all students should be accommodated in accordance to

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Salterrae • September 2016

A Last Glass

of Sherry in conversation with former trinity dean

Dr. Alan Earp By: Weston Miller

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most extraordinary people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing lived just around the corner from my childhood home. Seeing him working away in his meticulously-kept Japanese garden was not an uncommon sight on any day. I had spoken with him many times throughout my life, but it was not until last fall, before my arrival at Trinity, that part of his remarkable story was revealed to me. ne of the

During his extraordinary life, Trinity College graduate Dr. Alan Earp worked as a soldier, scholar, and Dean of the College. His accomplishments and kind nature make Dr. Earp someone that all Trinity students can look up to.

In June, when I stopped by to see Dr. Earp for a visit and a glass of sherry, he revealed to me that at the age of 94, he had decided to move to Montreal. Before he left, I made him promise to allow me to interview him and retell his story to the current generation of Trinity students. A few days later, I conducted the interview in his living room. Next to us was a grand piano, topped with a candid picture of him and Queen Elizabeth II. I sat back, got comfortable, and began listening to Dr. Earp.

His story begins in Marlborough, England in 1940. While in high school, he was offered the chance to come to Canada as a war guest, primarily because he was not old enough to join the army. “I always liked the idea of Canada,” claims Earp. “It was in London where I received a cable saying to be on the dock in Liverpool the next day for departure to Canada, so off I went. I didn’t even have time to say goodbye to my parents. I just left. I soon found myself on a freighter heading towards a new life in Canada.”

ed all of the courses. He asked me which course I would like to take. I was quite taken aback by this question and timidly replied, ‘well I don’t know sir’. He then asked me in his thick British accent, ‘well have you done Latin?’ to which I replied ‘yes’. ‘Well then Classics my boy, Classics for you.’” Earp was admitted to Trinity on the spot

by Provost Cosgrave and was given a full bursary as well as a room in residence. Earp believes he was so easily admitted because of the university’s desperation for students during the war.

Upon arrival in Canada, Earp was set to attend Appleby College, a small boarding high school in Oakville, Ontario; however, it was quickly realized that his intellectual capacity was far beyond his years. So instead he enrolled at the University of Toronto and was greeted by its president. “He admitted me personally to the University, and sent me off to University College. I found trying to get into the heavy Norman doorways at UC quite difficult and overwhelming. The doors made the whole idea of university quite scary for me.

Especially as I was a timid 16-year-old.” Because of the doors, Earp gave up on UC and walked across Hoskin Avenue to Trinity. “My father had known Provost Cosgrave from his college years, and as luck would have it who should happen to be in the hallway asking if I needed help but the Provost. He handed me the calendar, which at the time was a big, heavy leather-bound book that list-

“They gave me a room in Whittaker House, second floor, looking into the quad, a lovely room.

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Strachan Hall had just been built.

For me, the food was wonderful!

After short rations in war struck England, the food in Strachan was beyond anything I could’ve wished for. I was just so happy at the time. Having been attending boarding schools in England since I was eight, it felt like an extension of that. There was recognizable architecture, relatable courses and wonderful quarters; it was all a very lucky break for me.”

Earp particularly enjoyed his time being part of the Trinity College Dramatic Society and playing on Trinity’s soccer team. Laughing, he compared Trinity’s soccer team to “Iceland in the Euro Cup,

Weston Miller • A Last Glass of Sherry year before embarking on an adventure that he had dreamed about for years: travelling to Africa.

Earp extensively travelled between his teaching schedule at the University of Nigeria. After that, he took post at the University College of the West Indies in Jamaica. Less than a year after, Dr. Earp received his call back to Trinity from then-Provost Seeley. For a $4,000 annual salary, paid housing and the opportunity to come back to Trinity, Dr. Earp returned to Trinity as the new Registrar and Dean of Men. Occupying two floors of the Provost’s Lodge with his wife and two young sons, he set to work on bringing real change to the College.

Alan Earp’s trip to Africa had a monumental impact on his term as Dean of Trinity.

in the sense that [they] were never supposed to be there or be any good.”

His soccer career was put on hold during Earp’s second year at Trinity when he was called to fight overseas. “I received an early ticket overseas in April of 1944 on the Aquitania, a great big ocean liner that was converted into a troop ship. There was a brief training period in England, and then straight onto the front lines in Holland. We had the southern part of Holland but the Germans had the North.” At nineteen years of age (though on record and in the eyes of his commanding officers, he was twenty), Earp was commanding a platoon of young men who had come up through the hell of Normandy.

For starters, he partnered with the governments of the Gold Coast in Africa to have two African students, Michael Mensa and Quamin Obans, come to study at Trinity. These were the first ever African students to study at the College. He then took part in founding the African Students’ Foundation, which would ultimately sponsor approximately 300 African students and give them a chance to study in a Canadian university. Earp claims he took a leadership role in this initiative due to the riots in the southern United States. “I had been in Africa and Jamaica and made many friends there, and what was happening in the States was beyond belief to me. I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that people who were my friends would be in risk of their lives in the United States. The students felt this particularly as well. I remember taking part in a picket of the American

In 1946, Earp, a wounded veteran, returned to his studies at Trinity. “Everybody at the time just assumed that I would go into my third year of my Classics studies. I realize now, however, due to the publicity that has been given to soldiers in Afghanistan, that I was undoubtedly carrying some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” Earp did not speak up about this, because as he says, “the Department of Veterans Affairs continued to pay my tuition, so I continued to finish my studies.”

Earp would ultimately graduate and go on to have an illustrious and interesting career in the academic world. He completed his master’s degree at Cambridge before holding posts at the University of Cincinnati and the University of Manchester.

He then held post at Keele University for one

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Consulate on University Avenue in protest with many other Trinity students.

We marched up and down with protest signs, and received great support from the crowds who brought us things to eat and such. It was a feeble sort of protest, but was an indication of how people felt at the time.”

Earp, who was well-received by the students, is most proud of two things during his time as Dean.

First, he is proud of his willingness to adhere to students’ calls for change at a time when “not many people in the University’s administration were willing to accept this.” Second, he is proud of his attempts at enhancing inclusivity at Trinity.

After Trinity, Earp went on to hold positions at Carleton University and the University of Guyana for three years before settling down in Niagara, where he would finish his academic career as Provost and Vice-President of Brock University.

He held that position for nearly 20 years. He was also President of the Association of Universities of Canada and received an Order of Canada for his contributions to the academic world, an honour which he shrugs off casually, “Oh, they give those to everyone you know; it’s nothing special.”

A man of principle who left everything behind at a young age to pursue an education, Dr. Alan Earp devoted his life to ensuring that everyone had the opportunity to receive the same education that he did.

Salterrae • September 2016

A Few Words on Israel and Palestine Gratitude, Facing Reality, and My Family’s Past By: Abigail Lendvai

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excuse the cliché, but my Summer Abroad trip to Jerusalem this past July changed my life. I will try my best to spare you the sappy details, but it truly was a privilege to go out into the world, learn from people, and discover places beyond my small bubble. Of course, it didn’t hurt that my Instagram got to be on point during my travels (#summerabroad2016).

Through a program called Coexistence, I was given the opportunity to travel to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem to study the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. As it would be impossible to recount my entire trip abroad in one article, I have chosen to reflect on three important phrases I learned and explain their significance to me. lease

On both sides of this conflict there are people who are trying to find some semblance of peace in this difficult situation.

The first important Hebrew word I learned while in Israel was “Toda”, which means ‘thank you’.

As a Canadian abroad, I knew this would be an essential, but Toda became more than simply an expression of gratitude. It became the lens through which I began to view my travels. Israel and Palestine taught me to be grateful. I am grateful that organizations like the Parents Circle, which brings bereaved Israeli and Palestinian families together to talk about their tragedies and the political climate, exist. I am grateful to the gracious Palestinian people who were willing to share their stories of struggle and give us their perspective on the realities of living under occupation. I am grateful to the Israeli citizens who also opened their hearts and minds to us as they explained how they are working—albeit slowly—towards peace. While I do not wish to sugarcoat or to downplay the magnitude and gravity of this conflict, I would like to remind you that on both sides of this conflict there are people who are trying to find some semblance of peace in this difficult situation.

On my first trip into the West Bank, I learned the Hebrew and Arabic word “Yalla”, which usually means ‘hurry up’ or ‘let’s get going’, from our guide. When travelling, it can often feel like one is rushing to tick off all of the ‘must-sees’ on their travel to-do list. However, this pace would not have

felt appropriate while walking the streets of the ancient cities of Ramallah and Bethlehem. Instead of simply going through the motions on this trip, I attempted to make a conscious effort to be present and to take in all of the sights and sounds.

Particularly when we were meeting with different groups and individuals, from the members of the Israeli Knesset to delegates in the United Nations, from the refugees staying in camps inside the West Bank to the street falafel and hummus vendors, I wanted to truly engage. This was often difficult, as many of the things I witnessed were disheartening.

Here I was a “conflict tourist,” otherwise known as a student, who was so easily able to leave this area, gawking at people displaced by an inexplicably complicated conflict. The tragedy, pain, and suffering of conflict became much more difficult to confront when I could not hide behind an international relations textbook or in-class lecture slides.

The tragedy, pain, and suffering of conflict became much more difficult to confront when I could not hide behind an international relations textbook or in-class lecture slides.

That brings me to what was perhaps the most personally significant Hebrew phrase I learnt while in Israel: “Yad Vashem”. Yad Vashem, which is actually the name of the World Holocaust Remembrance Center, is generally translated as the ‘Museum of Martyrs’. The masterfully-curated museum housed at the Remembrance Center depicts a journey through the horrors of the war and ends outside on a balcony overlooking Jerusalem.

While I knew I would be moved by this, I was far more emotionally-affected than I had anticipated.

In the 1940s, my sixteen-year old grandfather was taken with many other Hungarian Jews and pris-

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oners of war to work in the copper mines of Bor in Serbia. Amazingly, he escaped with his best friend from Budapest, and they survived the rest of the war by hiding with Serbian families and working as shepherds. Sadly, my great-grandfather, Leo Lendvai (Waldmann) was murdered in the Shoah (Holocaust) at Auschwitz-Birkenau. According to my grandfather, my great-grandfather tossed a note from the train en route to the concentration camp with his name and address. Miraculously, the note was sent back to Budapest, and his family discovered he had been deported.

“We do not ask you to be proIsrael, and we do not ask you to be pro-Palestine. We ask you to be pro-peace.”

The most powerful part of the museum is the Hall of Names, which is a memorial to each and every Jewish person who perished in the Holocaust, including my great-grandfather. The circular room houses short biographies of about 1.5 million victims. This is where I truly felt the weight of my history; here was the account of my greatgrandfather’s death, and here were the stories of so many Jews who had suffered. I was confronted by the fact that if my grandfather had not escaped his forced labour camp I would not exist today, and by a feeling about how strange, terrible, and wonderful the world can be. Remembering is painful, but it is important. In the words of the late author and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, “Because I remember, I despair. Because I remember, I have the duty to reject despair.”

To put it lightly, my eye-opening travels in Israel and Palestine challenged me both intellectually and emotionally. There is no easy answer to this conflict; the more I learned, the more questions I had, and the less answers could be given. What this trip did teach me is that conflicts involve people, and it is incredibly important that we listen to and appreciate the narratives of these people. As Rami Elhanan of the Parents Circle, whose fourteen-year-old daughter was killed by two Palestinian suicide bombers, poignantly stated during our discussion, “We do not ask you to be pro-Israel, and we do not ask you to be pro-Palestine. We ask you to be pro-peace.”

Sofia Jelovac & Danielle Pal • Trin Goes Global

Trin Goes Global 2016

Compiled by: Sofia Jelovac & Danielle Pal

I spent two weeks at Hebrew U this summer learning about how water resources have been used as tools and leverage in conflict, but also how these same resources can be used as a pathway towards peace. In specific, we were looking at the case of water sharing between Israel, Palestine and Jordan. It was incredibly interesting!

-Angelee Nadasalignam I worked at an environmental law clinic with my twin sister in Israel this summer. Then we studied Transboundary Water Cooperation at the Hebrew University!

-Danielle Pal I travelled to Israel to study the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict in a program called Coexistence at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

-Abigail Lendvai & Adam Sheikh

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Salterrae • September 2016 Rachel Clark and Alex Smith (Rachlex) took a trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia this August. They went to Peggy’s Cove, took a lot of stupid selfies, and annoyed the locals with their PDA. Now that they are back in Toronto, they continue to take a lot of stupid selfies and annoy Trinity College students with their PDA.

Travelling is all about making new friends. Here are two particularly playful ones I made while kayaking in Baja California Sur. -Riam McLoed

I put my ITA100 knowledge to good use and had an amazing experience exploring (and eating) off the beaten path! Wonderful coffee, wonderful wine, wonderful tomatoes, wonderful scenery, wonderful people... I’m in love with Italy and will be back!

-Angela Gu

I was lucky enough to be able to travel in Europe with my family. My favourite part of the trip was the three days we spent in Budapest, Hungary; my family is Hungarian and to be able to connect with the city, foods, and traditions they were raised in was an eye-opening experience. Not only was the trip a chance to connect with my heritage and history, but also to connect with another Trinity Student. Maddy Torrie and I had the chance to enjoy tea in the New York Cafe, known as one of the most beautiful cafes in the world. (Who would expect anything less for the salt of the earth?).

-Julianne de Gara

I spent this summer exploring my own backyard with some of my closest friends in some of the most beautiful untouched scenery in Canada.

-Kate Power Photograph: Jack Hall

In May and June, I had the opportunity to travel to Ghana and Cote d’Ivoire to investigate child slavery and child labour on Cocoa farms with a Dutch social impact chocolate company called Tony’s Chocolonely. I travelled across villages in both countries interviewing farmers and children to understand the root causes and prevalence of hazardous child labour. This photo was taken in Ghana after meeting with the farmers.

-Thuch James

I spent the entire family vacation in Chicago listening to Kanye in honour of Yeezy’s hometown despite my dad’s distaste for hip hop and his unavailing claim that “it was my hometown first!”

-Tamara Frooman

Moving to New York to pursue an internship at the UN was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had. If you ever have the opportunity to spend a summer exploring a new city, take it.

-Sarah Harrison

This summer, I was lucky enough to get to travel for fun as well as for work! I spent a while in Spain seeing Barcelona and some smaller neighbouring towns, and then lived in Belgrade, Serbia while I completed an internship at the Belgrade Centre for Human Rights.

Both parts of my trip were great, and I’m glad I could put my time off to good use!

-Tina Vulevic

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Sofia Jelovac & Danielle Pal • Trin Goes Global Rhiannon quit her job and hopped on a plane across the ocean, seeing 14 countries across Europe.

She Czech-ed out Prague, Romed around Italy, fell in Louvre with Paris and pre-gamed for Oktoberfest in Germany, among many others. Pictured is Rhiannon flying 1000m over the Swiss Alps!

This April I was able to participate in an exchange program on the other side of the world - at the University of Tokyo. It was a great experience to live in a place where modern and traditional culture coexist peacefully.

-Maji Jury

This summer I studied abroad in Central Europe with the U of T Summer Abroad program. We visited and studied many famous cities such as Prague (pictured), Vienna, and Budapest as well as lesser-known but historically significant cities, such as Wroclaw, Poland. In addition to phenomenal food and museums, being able to study a city as I experienced it was incredibly enriching and provided me with a better understanding of each city, culture, and nation.

--Ursula Carmichael

It felt incredible being back in Beirut. I am constantly amazed at the city’s unique character a breathtaking sights. Every summer I seem to discover something new, but one thing never changes: it will always be my second home.

-Aceel Hawa

Braden Kenny, a third year student at Trinity College, was a recipient of the Queen Elizabeth Scholarship in Cape Town, South Africa. His summer months were spent working at the Division of Immunology at the University of Cape Town and volunteering within the community.

My internship in Kenya focused on improving maternal and neonatal child health in Kenya. Our team worked on a variety of topics such as gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and family planning both at the hospital and the community level. It was a pleasure to work with and get to know a team of motivated individuals that have dedicated their lives to improving the lives of others.

-Farbod Ab

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Over the past summer I spent 96 days in New Delhi, India researching B cell development at the National Institute of Immunology. Under that pretext I actually spent my summer travelling through one of the most diverse, chaotic and spectacular countries in the world.

-Terra Morrel

Salterrae • September 2016

From An Sea to Trinity Orientation Leader Reports By: Julianne de Gara Photographer: Pierre Kochel

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falling; you’ve survived your first few weeks of classes and the reality of university life has finally set in. Part of you is wondering why you thought doing Trinity One International Relations was going to be easy, and part of you is wondering if it’s too late to switch into cinema studies. September is coming to a close and the first due dates of the year are looming close. he leaves are

By the time you read this article, Orientation Week will be a fond and distant memory, feeling more like summer camp than a legitimate university experience. Which is why I sit here now, three hours before this article is due, wondering exactly how to recount the experience of orientation week to you all. Whether you are a bright-eyed 2T0 or a jaded fourth-year who just wants to fucking graduate already, there is no denying that Orientation Week is something to look back on with fondness, gratitude and only small twinges of remorse.

This time last year, I found myself in the same predicament I’m in now: how do you condense a week of events into a few short pages, and more so, how can you possibly convey the experience properly? This year’s Orientation Week leaves me with many different angles to take. For example, you could be reading an article about why it’s against student rights to remove swearing from the UofT parade and to change the beloved “Frosh” to the clunky, somewhat unfortunate “Orientation Week”. Or maybe you’re reading a

direct play-by-play of each event written with the utmost detail. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re about to read a copy-and-pasted version of the article I wrote last year that I’m currently hoping no one will notice. (Sorry Arjun.)

Fortunately for you, I will be taking none of the above approaches. Instead, I want to talk about the inherent differences between the experience of being the oriented, and being the orienter, because, let’s be real, you all obviously want to read about my personal thoughts and feelings on this subject, or you wouldn’t have read this far.

I hope that as the 2T0s stood, awkward and uncertain, watching the 1T9s get dirty on the dance floor or chase each other around the quad, they felt a twinge of aspirationality.

When I was a small, frightened first year, my experience of move-in was pretty goddamn awful, to be honest. As I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, I was banished to the bowels of Sub-Kirk for the duration of my first year, where I patiently did my jail time and waited to be released. Because of this, when I arrived on the first day of O-Week last year, I was promptly told by the upper years, “Oh. The basement’s not that far away, you can

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just carry your own stuff down there instead.”

And so begins the many differences between my first and second Orientation Week experiences.

Even after 16 hours of training throughout the weekend, I arrived on Monday morning, determined to make sure that no one experienced the same off-handedness that I had. This dream was almost shattered when the overeager 2T0s arrived - big surprise - half an hour before move-in was even scheduled to start, but still I persevered (after some libations, of course). If I carried your bag at any point, hopefully my jokes weren’t too terrible.

I only sort of overstepped my boundaries by coming into your room uninvited, and you at least had one friendly face to remember as the day wore on.

As I’m sure any of the other orientation leaders can attest to, the easiest thing for us to have done was to take the week for ourselves; a last chance to get shit-faced before the reality of school sunk in, leaving the underage 2T0s in the dust. And I won’t deny that most of us did that, at least some of the time. 2T0, you will do the exact same thing. This is the natural order of a thing like Orientation Week, and it’s exactly why it is such a perfect introduction to the college.

I can recall vividly arriving at Orientation Week last year, seeing the leaders and thinking to myself, “That is what I want. That’s why I came here.”

And I’d like to think I’ve grown into the person I saw reflected in 1T8; orientation leaders are not

Julianne de Gara • From Sea to Trinity

merely a helping hand or a guide in the first weeks of school, but rather role models. I hope that as the 2T0s stood, awkward and uncertain, watching the 1T9s get dirty on the dance floor or chase each other around the quad, they felt a twinge of aspirationality.

they are so important. If you’re a brave 2T0, talk to a 1T7 about their Orientation Week experiences. Though they are old and wizened, I’m sure their stories will be eerily similar to yours. It is this collective experience, these shared memories that make us a community.

Whether you were a member of the exec, a leader, or a 2T0, I say with sincerity that I hope you enjoyed every aspect of Orientation Week. For those of you just starting your Trin career, know that these experiences were only the first taste of the memories you will make here.

Being an orientation leader came with many responsibilities. Much more important than risk management and icebreaker training, however, was our responsibility to introduce the 2T0s to the college, its traditions, quirks and oddities. I can’t judge whether or not we succeeded, at least not yet. As the year continues and the 2T0s work to establish themselves, it will become obvious that repeatedly cheering “we are the salt of the earth” and “we are in a parade” will have paid off, or at least so we hope.

We were all forced to stand on our chairs in Strachan. We were all yelled at for walking on the grass. We were all scared into deleting our perfectly-edited quad shots off of Instagram. From the outside, these traditions may seem childish, or pointless, or worst of all, like hazing rituals taken from a low-budget 2000s movie about college life.

However, I’m certain I speak for us all when I say that those experiences are Trinity. Not only do they set us apart from the other colleges here at UofT, but they bond us together in solidarity, in pride, in friendship.

2T0, this place will become your home if you allow it to. So while you are still adjusting, still finding your place within this college, take pride in the rituals you are forced to do. Stand on your chair in Strachan with dignity. It is these rituals that make you a part of this college. For now, you are first years, barely fresh out of Orientation Week, but someday you will be as old and jaded as the rest of us, and hopefully you will continue on these traditions with pride. Orientation Week 2016 was merely the first taste of the college you will one day call home, but as you already know, the world is your oyster, go out and own it.

From the awkwardly named “white party”, to rushed visits to Honest Ed’s in search of tropical toga fabric, to just sitting in the quad wondering why there isn’t any shade, the events of orientation week are formative to any Trinity experience.

From first year to fourth year, these moments are as unique as they are universal, and that is why

Orientation Week 2016 was merely the first taste of the college you will one day call home, but as you already know, the world is your oyster, go out and own it.

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Salterrae • September 2016

summer styles at sea a rundown of the fashion at o-week By: Billie Rose Owen Photographers: Pierre Kochel and Sydney Bradshaw Congratulations, Class of 2020! While involuntarily wearing the same red t-shirt for seven days in a row, you still managed to parade some tasteful class and elegance during Trinity College’s Orientation Week.

In true Frosh Week style, you mastered the quick change between your sweaty cotton t–shirt, into your sleek white attire, back into your sweaty cotton t–shirt, and repeat.

With the number of formal Trinity College events that lay ahead, I assure you this is a good skill to master - especially for those of you who have class until 6pm on Wednesday evenings. After spending a week having to slip on your heels or bow tie, you have probably learned that Trinity College thrives on the frequency of formal affairs.

Beyond discovering how to navigate Trinity’s maze of steam tunnels, where not to sit in Strachan, and where to always be on a Wednesday night to soak up the wittiest of satirical comedy – you have also learned how to instantly transform yourself into an established socialite. Here are the pictures to prove it.

These two pictures were taken shortly after “BBQ in Quad”…and as you can see, these ladies are masters of the impressive quick change. From a leisurely evening dinner to a classy white-attired soirée, these four instantly embodied the aura of simple summer elegance. With the perfect amount of thematic accessories and classy sartorial lines, these looks are perfect choices for a final tribute to summer weather. Thankfully, the end of summer also means that Orientation Week will be the last time this year that Seeley Hall will feel like a summer day in Death Valley.

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Billie Rose Owen • Summer Styles at Sea

from Blue Lagoon to Toga Party...

Despite the humidity at “Under the Sea-ley”, these three ladies continued the number one trend of the week: contriving fabulous and vibrant ensembles despite any time or heat constraints.

Glowing with radiant poise, these ladies illustrate the power that simple up-dos and delicate accessories can add to an ensemble.

I am sure by now you have learned that in a whirlwind of social events one after the other, simplicity is key, and if done right, can seamlessly translate into ethereal effortlessness.

Lastly, there was TOGA, where many of you learned that creating your toga meant walking the fine line between Golden Greek goddess, a Flintstones character, and flashing everyone.

No matter which category you fell in, the Trinity College Fashion Society still loves you. However, these five ladies must be applauded for their impressively customized designs that come closer to the Helen of Troy aesthetic than any of us ever will.

All in all, I hope that this week has shown you that fashion at Trinity has nothing to do with fitting into a status quo and everything to do with what makes you feel confident. While Trinity’s bursting social calendar provides many venues to make a statement, it is also an opportunity to experiment with your style and aesthetic. The social events that lay ahead of you are uniquely themed to bring a new life to long-lasting traditions, and I urge you to take each opportunity to challenge your creative self, and continue your streak of fabulous style that you have all flaunted throughout this year’s Orientation Week.

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Salterrae • September 2016

from

SEA tO TRINITY

the first year experience

By: Emily Larman

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off by saying that prior to OWeek the mere idea of a university orientation and the compromising situations I would be placed into could not have sounded more abhorrent. Being a West Coast girl, the perception of leaving home to be thrust into unknown circumstances left me feeling deeply unsettled and utterly terrified. With my family a cool 5-hour plane ride away, I would have nowhere to run, no one to tell me everything was going to be okay and comfort me in times of distress. I was alone in every sense of the word and instead of the excitement that everyone was telling me I should be feeling, there was this deep-seated apprehension that kept replaying over and over in my head - “You should’ve gone to UBC...” (Yes, I am ashamed to admit this.) I can fortunately inform you that one week later, I am no longer telling myself to book it back to Vancouver and instead I am questioning why I ever felt uncomfortable in the first place. et me start

I was living, breathing, and appreciating the stereotypes that I’d heard so much about, like pinning togas, greasy frat parties, 3am runs sans clothing, communal showers, culty Matriculation ceremonies, and boxes full of condoms and lube everywhere I looked.

Trinity College, in the duration of a sweltering O-week, has proven to be everything it’s chalked up to be and more. It was unrestrained and keenly satirical, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Where else would I possibly be able to fit in with a group of eclectic individuals that find pure, genuine contentment in pursuing an inflated sense of self ? O-Week allowed me to do just that. I was living, breathing, and appreciating the stereotypes that I’d heard so much about, like pinning togas, greasy frat parties, 3am runs sans clothing, communal showers, culty Matriculation ceremonies, and boxes full of condoms and lube everywhere I looked.

From the moment I pulled up and second-years swarmed my car, haphazardly carrying my belongings into Main, I couldn’t help but feel like my life was never going to be the same again. I was deeply intimidated by the upper years as well as my fellow first-years as we started sizing each other up while trying to make pleasantries.

From “Awkward Lunch,” that was arguably less awkward than it had been made out to be, to the all-white “Anchor’s Away” that attempted to unify fledgling first years, all of my first-day emotions were put at bay by a lively intellectual debate over the legitimacy of Bernie-or-Bust supporters. I later overheard a heated conversation regarding mortgage-market correlations, and it was then that I realized I was surrounded by individuals who understood what it was like to appreciate the pursuit of knowledge. The following days were filled with such an overwhelming speed-friendship sort of disposition that I could not even realize what was going on until days later.

The true magic of O-Week lies in between the moments where you have to expect the unexpected.

In between the high-table dinners and under-thesea themed dances, the novelty of frats was introduced and the Trinity bubble became more and more apparent. The reciting of Latin at Matriculation to an unassuming crowd of newbies only solidified Trinity’s exclusivity by promulgating its desire to act like a cult. Of course, my neighbor proceeded to artfully troll the book by signing Harambe into Trinity’s records. Friday’s parade amplified our mob mentality to a vast extent and, while fun, felt more like hailing from The Walking Dead than actually being alive. Pub Night was a keen highlight as we witnessed an unfortunate first-year racking up an unknowingly hefty tab.

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The nights were pervaded by substantial social programming that allowed for little-to-no free time and were followed up by various after parties (for those trying to make AP a thing, just don’t). While event turnouts began to diminish as the days droned on, the overall experience actually became more enriching. The true magic of O-Week lies in between the moments where you have to expect the unexpected. While free-flowing beverages and an unfortunate mix of bourbon chased by Chateau Massey (never try this) may have lapsed my ability to remember names, majors, and hometowns, I still learned to appreciate that we are all part of Trinity College and how that fact alone automatically encourages a sense of harmonious cohesion.

I still learned to appreciate that we are all part of Trinity College and how that fact alone automatically encourages a sense of harmonious cohesion.

Trinity’s desire to relay status in every sense of the word is what makes it so successful. I can say, without a doubt, that every frosh that stepped on the grass in the quad and was forced to stand on their chair in Strachan, looked at the gentle intiations with a fervent eye for satire, and can now comfortably admit that they felt right at home, even if they didn’t know it yet. In between the chaos of O-Week, my friend texted me that she was coming home from an event and quickly realized that it was the first time she had called Trinity home.

The idea of cultivating a new home for myself, halfway across the country and away from everything I know, was reassuring. The notion of going to university may foster the conventional concept of reinventing yourself for only the world to see, but Trin allows a passionate crop of individuals to finally be allowed to shine in their own right and actually feel at home.

Trin allows a passionate crop of individuals to finally be allowed to shine in their own right and actually feel at home.

Rachel Chen • Trinity College, as told by U of T

TRINITY COLLEGE, as told by the University of Toronto

By: Rachel Chen True Story #1: “Should I pick the college with the pretentious assholes, or the artsy hipster people?” twelfth grade Rachel asked her fellow boutique-shopping, indie-rock-listening, coffee-drinking, writer friend.

“The artsy hipster college, duh.” Too bad I wanted to specialize in international relations.

As I logged onto the UofT website, I began ranking the colleges like so: 1. Trinity College 2. Victoria College 3. University College 4. Innis?

I don’t remember how I ranked the rest, but puhlease, I got into my first choice and even then I knew not to care about the others.

True Story #2: I remember walking out of a salsa class (ironically at Victoria College), with my first year St. Hilda’s residence neighbor when two guys from the salsa class stopped us and introduced themselves. “Which college are you two from?” one of them asked.

What University College said: “You guys are all Slytherin. Our building is a lot nicer than yours. Trinity is a cesspool of IR students.”

What University College really meant: I wish I could be threatening too, so I’m going to put down your building to make myself feel better about myself. Also, I cannot grammar.

What New College said: “People assume I’m in Trin because I’m in IR. I used to be ashamed that I wasn’t. Now I just laugh like a troll when they find out I’m from New College.”

What New College really meant: Not being a Trin student turned me into a troll, which is funny because only imaginary trolls can see places that don’t actually exist – like actually, where the heck is New College even?

What Innis College said: “So Trin offers free weddings to Trin couples, but I heard that offer doesn’t get much use. Maybe someday one of them will be tolerable enough to marry… Trin = Tumblr Activists R’ Us.”

“Trin,” responded my friend. Instantly, the two of them recoiled and made faces at us. The rumors that Trinity College is the most hated college on campus were proving true.

What Innis College really meant: I just really want to come up with snappy oneliners. Also, could Trin students chill out please?

We can feel the heat from next door.

To help paint a more expansive, equally accurate portrait of U of T, I have asked various students to describe Trinity in three sentences or less. The real meanings of their descriptions should explain all you really need to know about the other colleges.

What Woodsworth College said: “If you don’t mind me being a bit rude, the meanest thing I’d say would be that Trin is like the stuck-up, academic version of that douche in high school who’s surprisingly tolerable/borderline pleasant on his own, but becomes absolutely fucking insufferable when he’s surrounded by his fellow fuckboiz.”

What Victoria College said: “People always think I’m in Trin. But I’m not.

I’m smart too. “ What Victoria College really meant: Sometimes I feel pretty smart so I forget I’m not actually a Trinity student, but then I remember that I could never sell out and buy a pair of Sperrys.

What Woodsworth College really meant: Please take me seriously as a college because your opinion and approval really matter to me even though you are mean to me.

What St. Michael’s College said: “Trin is undoubtedly a great centre for research, encouraging a rich student life and learning ex-

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perience, as well as the pursuit of academia. Of course, one could argue that, like many Trin traditions, the pursuit of academia is inherently out of touch and elitist, but from what I can tell the college does put an effort into striking a balance between the traditional and the modern. (Except for Episkopon; I mean, come on, really?)”

What St. Michael’s College really meant: I can only assume Trinity students are really smart, but I don’t have time to actually study when I’m partying, so I wouldn’t know. I’m just going to say it’s because they are elitists and also, what assholes.

What Engineering said: “Trin is stupid because the people mix nice clothes with horrible hair. It’s a cluster of people who want to rule the world, but they wouldn’t be able to tell an integral from a ham sandwich if it smacked them in the face. All that being said, what it really comes down to is the fact that Trin is a cult - engineering is just a better cult.“ What Engineering really meant: I never shower, I did mtah in skule, I cannot spellz? People hate us more than Trinity because we have a loud bnad and loud cannon, pay attention to MEEEEEEEE. What Trinity said about itself: “It’s the most prestigious institution in Canada.

It’s the birthplace of all the future politicians and diplomats of Canada. It’s super diverse and culturally respectful.”

What Trinity really meant: It’s a collection of rejects from the most prestigious institutions everywhere else. It’s where McDonald’s employees with international relations degrees begin their humble journeys of greasy unemployment. It’s full of privileged white kids being offended on everyone’s behalf.

Zero to a hundred – Who are we?

Crumpets and Tea We’re from Trinity!

Have another great year Trinity College, I promise I still love you.

Salterrae • September 2016

For the Neurodivergent Bipolar Disorder 1 and Me

By: Vanessa Peruzza Illustrator: Amanda La Mantia

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Trinity College, and welcome to the newest strip club on the block. It’s called Strachan’s Sex Pistols, and there’s only one dancer. Me. The four articles I will write this year, dear friends, are four strip teases. Trinity College has slipped a crisp $100 bill into my proverbial g-string, and I’m lined up to serve you all a fourcourse meal of my mind, totally stripped. Some serious mental health titty. Metaphor understood?

Wonderful. ello

Your first course? BP1, or Bipolar Disorder 1.

On one hand, bipolar disorder is not as scary as people would have you think. On the other, it’s fucking terrifying. Bipolar disorder is classified as a mood disorder, and rightfully so. People with bipolar disorder have brains that struggle with neurotransmitters and therefore cannot regulate mood very well. This creates a binary between manic (euphoric, hyper, intensely creative, confident) and depressive (numb, hopeless, apathetic, scared). People with BP1 are more manic, while people with bipolar 2 (BP2) are more depressive.

I have BP1 and am thus inclined towards extraordinarily destructive bouts of mania. In short, I have motherfucking super powers. Let me explain.

When it goes wrong, mania is horrifying. You can experience everything from intense paranoia

to great anger to complete psychosis. But when it goes right? People on mania highs can be incredible. They may display overwhelming creativity, superhuman disposition, fabulous confidence, and the motivation to do anything and everything. Even when someone with BP1 is evened out with careful medication, it’s common for certain traits of mania to bleed into everyday life, sometimes causing a state of hypomania.

What is that like? Well, it can include ludicrous pain tolerance, difficulty regulating temperature, and the sex drive of a hundred thirsty frosh. And what does that mean? Well, Trinity, you know me.

You might’ve seen me getting tossed around while protecting the mace often becoming concussed, or perhaps you’ve seen me flouncing around in shorts when there’s a foot of snow outside, or maybe you’ve had the (mis)fortune of overhearing stories about my “extracurricular activities”. I have bipolar disorder 1, and that is sometimes what it looks like. Sometimes, it’s fucking awesome.

They may display overwhelming creativity, superhuman disposition, fabulous confidence, and the motivation to do anything and everything.

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Don’t get me wrong, my manic episodes can be scary. Sometimes I’ll think that any small noise could be someone, or something, trying to kill me. And sometimes a small noise can make me infuriated and violent. But other times, I become a supernova. Creating and creating, burning up all my energy to make beautiful art. Because what else is there to do when you’re euphoric and overflowing with creativity? You just make things.

For some reason, I’ve found that people seem to assume that when you have mental illness, you can only be mentally ill and nothing else. I’ve seen one or two horrible articles that attempt to reveal how some famous artist or writer overcame their mental illness and was able to create art. Van Gogh, Hemingway, Woolf, the list of creators with bipolar disorder goes on and on, and all of them are made out to be ‘crazies’.

The media representation of mental illness generally makes it seem like these people can somehow create beautiful things in spite of having bipolar disorder, as if having a mental illness deters you from being part of the talented club.

If you believe this, you could not possibly be more wrong! Having a mental illness doesn’t disqualify you or make you ineligible to create beauty. In fact, having a mental illness (bipolar disorder in particular) seems to go hand in hand with being an artist.

Sometimes, in the midst of a mania high, I think

Vanessa Peruzza • For the Neurodivergent to myself, of course Van Gogh had bipolar disorder. Those excited months of mind-boggling artistic creation before he died were a beautiful mania high, all leading up to a horrible depressive drop. Ernest Hemingway tortured himself over his writing but managed to write some of his best pieces in his “Men Without Women” anthology, shortly after a depressing divorce. Mania again!

It’s not a surprise to me that some of the most beloved creators of our history were bipolar. Like me, they suffered. But also like me, they had the revelry of mania highs to keep their brilliant minds going for just a little longer. Long enough to be total badasses.

Sometimes, in the midst of a mania high, I think to myself, of course Van Gogh had bipolar disorder. Those excited months of mind-boggling artistic creation before he died were a beautiful mania high, all leading up to a horrible depressive drop.

Now, a little bit about my experience with being bipolar, and how I got the help I needed.

When I was sixteen, I had a horrible interaction with a paediatric psychotherapist who assured me that high grades, lots of extra-curricular activities, and a long-term boyfriend meant that I could not possibly have bipolar disorder.

Even when I tried to explain my three-year long depression and my fight with a very obvious panic disorder, they were convinced. So that was horrible, and I continued to be undiagnosed for

several years. It was shortly after that encounter that I began a climb into a two-year long mania high.

In October of my first year at Trinity College, I suffered a very difficult trauma and tumbled once again into a depression. Not knowing where else to go, I told my family doctor that I was feeling suicidal, and she jumped into action.

Please, if you don’t know how to take a first step, tell your family doctor. They will help you however they can.

While monitoring me closely, my doctor put me on antidepressants (a horrible mistake for someone with BP1, but she of course was unaware of my illness, as was I), and after a few weeks of crazy side effects, the medication took hold and I was launched into the worst bout of mania I’ve ever experienced.

I blew $10,000 worth of savings in a few months, and couldn’t function in school or at work. My doctor believed that my symptoms were of ADHD, which BP1 is frequently mistaken for at first. I shifted from job to job, trying to protect myself financially but I got fired or was forced to quit. I was losing my mind, dipping my toes into mania-induced psychosis.

I blew $10,000 worth of savings in a few months, and couldn’t function in school or at work.

In January 2015, with the help of my family doctor who gave me a referral, I got bumped up on the waitlist at CAPS (Counselling and Psychological Services), and finally got myself a real doctor. He

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immediately took me off the antidepressant and onto an antipsychotic to control my moods. The change was incredible. I slowly became myself again. I could feel my fingers and toes, and I had a clear mind that could make decisions and fix the months’ worth of mistakes I had made.

He immediately took me off the antidepressant and onto an antipsychotic to control my moods. The change was incredible. I slowly became myself again. I could feel my fingers and toes, and I had a clear mind that could make decisions and fix the months’ worth of mistakes I had made.

The story doesn’t end there, of course. I’m still recovering, and I have many other illnesses that hurt me. My moods still swing sometimes, and I have bad days... but I am happy anyways.

Bipolar disorder is not a beautiful thing. It is ugly, because it threatens the happiness of those who have it, and because it hurts them. But, people with bipolar disorder are not ugly. Their illness does not taint them, or make them unworthy.

People with bipolar disorder are beautiful, because they are strong, and because they can create art just by being themselves, in all their mood-swinging glory.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Next course: Misdiagnosis and Being Medicated.

Salterrae • September 2016

The Demerits of Discipline Evaluating Trinity College’s Code of Student Conduct

By: Madeline Torrie Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are the writers’ and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Salterrae’s editors or executive team.

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F YOU ARE reading this Salterrae, absolutely hate it, and are considering throwing it out the window in anger, I would caution you to restrain yourself. Throwing objects from residence windows will normally result in the assignment of two demerit points according to the Student Code of Conduct. If you are in the dining hall and want to snack later on in the day, you may take up to two pieces of fruit or dessert, but the repeated theft of three or more bananas might land you a meeting in the Dean’s office. If you are in the mood for some roof walking, be sure not to get caught. Students who walk on the roof will normally be assigned five demerit points, which usually results in being banned from residence or college activities.

Trinity College is a quirky place, and so it might seem fitting that we have some quirky rules. If you are a first year at Trinity College, you will probably recall the Student Code of Conduct, as well as the “Trinity College Alcohol Policy” and the “Trinity College Policy on Episkopon”, being among the papers which you signed before hastily confirming your residence assignment, or during the first few days of Frosh Week.

The powers of the Office of the Dean of Students in enforcing the Student Code of Conduct are not extreme. It is a social, not an academic document, so punishments cannot transgress academic involvement at the University of Toronto or with Trinity College. The most severe punishment is expulsion from the college, which removes the student from any affiliation with Trinity College.

More severe sanctions include banning from Trinity College events, or expulsion from residence. In most cases of misdemeanors students are awarded “points.” An accumulation of 5 points in a calendar year, could lead to the expulsion from residence or being banned from non-academic events for non-resident students.

If you are reading this Salterrae, absolutely hate it, and are considering throwing it out the window in anger, I would caution you to restrain yourself. Throwing objects from residence windows will normally result in the assignment of two demerit points.

This cursory look might make it seem that the Office of the Dean of Students only has the power of an uptight landlord or a club bouncer. However, the Code of Student Conduct gives the administration power to take into account any “serious breach” of the code of conduct when writing references, or making decisions about non-academic awards or scholarships. When used properly these enforcement powers can prevent a student involved in harassment, sexual assault, or hateful activities from taking part in college life. When abused by the administration, these enforcement powers can severely limit a student’s role on campus, as well as damaging their chances of winning potentially necessary scholarships and bursaries, leaving that student no options for recourse. So

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the question is: Is the Trinity College Code of Student Conduct, as enforced by the Office of the Dean of Students, working properly within the Trinity College community? ***

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N THE LAST week of the summer, I conducted an informal survey and advertised it on the “Trinity College Class of 2019” Facebook group, which includes students entering second year through fifth year and recent graduates. While I was only able to count the responses of thirty-four students, the survey might prove to be a valuable starting point for larger outreach by the student heads or administration. All results are anonymous and seemed to be a fair reflection of the student body. There was a balanced mix of students between their second, third and fourth year, and about half of the respondents were residence students, while the other half were non-residents or commuter students. 12% of the respondents had either faced or initiated disciplinary action at Trinity College. Of course, this survey can only collect public opinion and might not reflect the occurrence of events at Trinity College. However, it should provide indicators to student leaders and the administration of where to direct their efforts.

Most notably, the survey revealed widespread dissatisfaction with the Office of the Dean of Student’s handling of disciplinary matters. 71% of students “disagree” or “strongly disagree” that the Office of the Dean of Students conducts dis-

Madeline Torrie • The Demerits of Discipline cipline in a transparent or straightforward manner, 71% of students “disagree” or “strongly disagree” that the Office of the Dean of Students handles complaints quickly and efficiently, 59% of students “disagree” or “strongly disagree” that the Office of the Dean of Students makes fair and balanced decisions regarding discipline, and 47% of students believe that the Office of the Dean of Students should be more involved in some areas of discipline but less in others.

When asked to rate how the Office of the Dean of Students handled a number of issues, only the Office’s efforts at handling fire alarms, food fights, theft of personal property and “roof walking” were regarded with any success. More concerning, the handling of Episkopon offences was considered by 68% of respondents “poor” or “very poor” and 47% of respondents considered sexual assault to be handled “poorly” or “very poorly” at the college. Anonymous comments collected from the survey echoed these sentiments.

One student commented: “I personally do not have experience with this, but every single story I have heard about experiences with discipline at Trinity leads me to believe that the Office of the Dean of Students is biased against certain students and organizations, and is therefore unduly harsh towards them, while at the same time unwilling to act on other serious cases, such as sexual harassment and assault.”

Another respondent shared the sentiment, “Why do I have so many friends who have been sexually assaulted on College premises and yet I can still see their assailants everywhere at Trin parties and on College property?...Get your priorities together, admin; I trusted you when I came to Trin and I have left you with significantly less respect.” ***

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OW THE OFFICE of the Dean of Students has handled cases of sexual assault raises some serious questions about the current

Most Concerning 1. Sexual Assault 2. Racism 3. Homophobia 4. Sexism 5. Physical Assault Least Concerning 1. Food Fights 2. Walking on the roof 3. Noise 4. Episkopon Offenses 5. Fire Alarms

disciplinary process. 50% of students considered sexual assault to be “prominent” or “very prominent” on campus, and 85% considered it it be “concerning” or “very concerning” (the most of any disciplinary matters listed). Most students were likely to report cases of sexual assault on campus, and when asked to assign severity using the points system, 88% of students considered it worthy of 5 demit points.

However, there is nothing in the Trinity College Student Code of Conduct about sexual assault or harassment, and instead it directs students to the University of Toronto Policies and Procedures: Sexual Harassment. Rhiannon Langford, the President of Trinity Students Against Sexual Assault and Harassment (TASAH), expresses her dissatisfaction with the current approach of outsourcing sexual assault and harassment cases to the University of Toronto: “Trinity’s student code of conduct currently voids any responsibility in regards to student discipline in issues of sexual violence; it merely passes off the liability to a non-existent university framework. Time and time again, I have heard of our students being turned away to victim-blaming university resources because our college does not have the faculties to deal with these incredibly complex issues. Since I started this club, our administration has been hesitant to create any collegespecific protocols or policy as they wait for a universitywide structure to be implemented […] Trinity is absolutely playing a part in this systematic discrimination toward sexual violence survivors by failing to take any concrete action. Until a top-down approach is implemented, we are basically telling our students that minor misdemeanors are more worthy of the administration’s time than addressing campus rape.”

So while the administration’s ability to keep students from walking on the roof and throwing food is worthy of applause, clearly there is a large divide between the offences listed in the Code of Student Conduct and what Trinity College students find concerning and prominent issues on campus. The current popular sentiment clearly show that the students lack trust in the administration which has demonstrated convoluted priorities on what constitutes serious infractions of the Code. ***

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S MUCH AS students may resent the Office of the Dean of Students, the distressing reality is that they are allowed to act as they choose

Students would give: 5 points Sexual Assault: 88%

Not listed in Code

Not listed in Code

1 point in Code

Physical Assault: 59% Breaking and Entry: 41%

3 points Harassment: 35%

Not listed in Code

Not listed in Code

Up to 5 points in Code

Bullying: 32%

Destruction of Personal Property: 29%

1 point Libel/Slander/Gossip: 35%

May be subject to proceedings

No sanctions listed

5 points in Code

3 points in Code

Episkopon Offences: 35% Walking on the roof: 32% Drug Abuse: 29%

0 points Food Fights: 62%

Points may be assigned Noise: 50%

Points may be assigned

Alcohol Abuse: 41%

Up to 5 points (if in contravention to a liquor lisence)

because their governing document regarding discipline, the Student Code of Conduct, allows them too. With all these components of the Trinity College Code of Student Conduct combined, not only does the Office of the Dean of Students have the power to punish any misconduct, committed anywhere, all powers of investigation and decision-making reside with the Dean of Students. Nowhere in the code is there any obligation to presume innocence, and in fact there is no mention at all of the rights of those students facing disciplinary action.

“Why do I have so many friends who have been sexually assaulted on College premises and yet I can still see their assailants everywhere at Trin parties and on College property?”

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Salterrae • September 2016

“Treat people like adults, and they will, by and large, act like adults.”

A student complained about exactly this lack of rights when they were faced with disciplinary action by the administration. “When I was in first year I received an email that was a request to meet with [the Assistant Dean of Students] Adam. Little to my knowledge, it was a disciplinary meeting.

If I did not have the upper year friends that I did, they would have sprung unfounded accusations on me without any warning of informing me of my rights as a student. They also took the account of this other student for the truth and made us disprove it, instead of placing the onus of evidence on the Dean’s office and the complainant.”

The University of Toronto Code of Student Conduct, which also governs Trinity College students, declares, “The University takes the position that students have an obligation to make legal and responsible decisions concerning their conduct as, or as if they were, adults,” further stating that, “The University has no general responsibility for the moral and social behaviour of its students.” It goes on to defend the students’ right to freedom of association and their ability to conduct their personal lives as they see fit, so long as it does not interfere with the safety and comfort of others.

However, in its first section, Trinity College’s Code of Student Conduct directly contradicts this sentiment in a paragraph labeled, “Conduct Unbecoming of a Member of College.” “Students at the College are expected to be respectful and considerate of the needs of other students and of the staff at the College. This standard of civility applies for the benefit of specific individuals and for the well-being of the community as a whole.

When antisocial behaviour crosses over into what amounts to belligerence, disregard for the safety and dignity of others, or serious incivility unbecoming of a member of the College, it may result in the assignment of points whether or not it also contravenes a specific section of the House Rules or the Code of Student Behaviour.”

From this clause alone, Trinity’s Code becomes particularly invasive in the private lives of students. “Conduct unbecoming of a member of college” is loosely defined. Perhaps this is with the intention of being flexible, but instead the clause provides a loophole, which allows the administration to define whatever they see fit as “conduct unbecoming of a member of college.”

Furthermore, when comparing the jurisdiction of the two codes, while the University of Toronto Code of Student Conduct clearly delineates its jurisdiction to: “except as otherwise provided herein, occurs on premises of the University of

Toronto or elsewhere in the course of activities sponsored by the University of Toronto or by any of its divisions.” However, the Trinity College Code of Student Conduct has no limits to its jurisdiction, but for that the code governs the actions of Trinity College students, or residents of Trinity College. The section, “Scope of the Code,” states explicitly that the College can govern the lives of its students off campus. Its application is not limited to the physical boundaries of Trinity College property, and can include actions or omissions which, while they occur off Trinity College property or even off the University of Toronto Campus, affect and are harmful to the life of students and staff at Trinity College or may reasonably be considered to bring the College into disrepute.

Once combined, “Conduct unbecoming of a Member of College” and “Scope of the Code” allow the College to punish students for any activity, committed anywhere, so long as the Dean of Students finds it to be “serious uncivility unbecoming of a member of college.” This could potentially sanction feuding roommates in an apartment offcampus, initiations within a fraternity or sorority, or potentially censoring a Facebook post which might “be considered to bring the College into disrepute.” Overall, the Trinity College Code of Student Conduct has far more power than even the University of Toronto Code of Student Conduct, which is supposed to govern it.

The Code of Student Conduct has a clause which gives the Dean of Students almost unilateral power to instigate, investigate, interpret and punish students who have been reported for misconduct.

The code says “the Dean may in his or her sole discretion act without consultation in circumstances where the Dean considers it appropriate to do so.” Conducting a balanced investigation, when the code imposes no requirement for consultation from those affected by or involved in the misconduct, is a dangerous breach of Trinity College students’ right to a fair disciplinary action.

In UofT’s Code of Student Conduct, discipline is separate from the University of Toronto, and decisions are investigated by “an appointed pool of trained Investigating and Hearing officers.” While it might be difficult to replicate the same system to enforce Trinity’s Code of Student Conduct, the procedures carried out by the University show the importance of tasking an independent body to carry out disciplinary hearings. Moreover, the separation of powers between the investigating officer and the hearing officer sets a good example of how powers should be delineated. At Trinity, the power to discipline is invested in one person.

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Any difficult case would devolve into a “he said/ she said” situation, which in serious cases like sexual or physical assault, is particularly dangerous. ***

T

HE TRINITY COLLEGE student body is proud of our vibrant student governance and system of direct democracy. A Code of Student Conduct which flies in the face of these democratic principles should be subject to extensive review and debate by Trinity College students, our leaders, and hopefully the Senate Committee of Community affairs. A Code of Student Conduct which gives the administration unilateral power over all decisions made at this college, with no obligation for transparency, or even the presumption of innocence, has no place governing our students who spend their free time working towards making this college a better, fairer place. But the blame also lies in an administration that takes advantage of these powers when disciplining students without considering the impact on the community.

Clearly, the Trinity’s Code of Student Conduct needs to be reviewed. I hope the administration makes efforts to consult a variety of students in the next review process. The Code should include provisions on harassment and sexual assault, and should make its condemnation of racism, homophobia and sexism clear. It should designate an independent body to oversee discipline, or at least create limitations to the Dean of Students’ unilateral power over disciplinary decisions. More transparency, procedural clarity, and the rights of those indicted for violating the code of conduct is required. Limits on the jurisdiction of the Office of the Dean of Students are necessary to prevent intrusion into the personal lives of its students. The ability to punish students for “conduct unbecoming of a member of college,” should be abolished and replaced with specific guidelines of what constitutes acceptable behavior.

It is hard to draw the line in how involved the college administration should be in students’ lives.

Respondents to the survey were split on whether they believed more or less involvement in college life was necessary; 48% wished the administration was more involved in some areas but less in others.

My suspicion is that this dissatisfaction may stem from the fact that the code is written and enforced to prevent liability rather than protect Trinity students. I would argue that recent action taken to punish “episkopon advertising”, keggers in common rooms, and generally by opening themselves up to mediating any complaint, regardless of importance or severity, the Office of the Dean of Students is removing the onus on students of governing themselves, while debasing themselves to the lowest level of petty college drama.

As one respondent accurately sums up, “Treat people like adults, and they will, by and large, act like adults.”

Avneet Sharma • O-Week Alcohol Policy

(Don’t)

Blame it on the Alcohol By: Avneet Sharma

reputation of Trinity W College, one would be remiss not to mention the College’s traditions and opportunities for hen discussing the

student leadership. With the last surviving direct democracy in North America and the various levels of student governance that approve budgets for all levied and non-levied clubs, the ability for undergraduate students to be involved in the decision-making process regarding issues pertinent to them are crucial to the Trinity community.

This year, a decision was made by the administration and the Trinity College Board of Trustees that Trinity College should no longer serve alcohol on site at Orientation Week events, despite there being budgets for alcohol that were approved by the Trinity College Meeting, Board of Stewards and Finance Committee. When meeting with Provost Mayo Moran over Orientation Week, she emphasized that the main concern behind the decision was legal liability, especially considering that the majority of incoming first-year students are under the legal drinking age. The Provost added that the decision was also motivated by other concerns, including the destruction of property, that arise with the excessive use of alcohol.

The decision is somewhat understandable. It is difficult to justify serving alcohol at events where the vast majority of people are underage. However, the decision and the manner in which it was made should worry members of college. Members of college should primarily be concerned about the creation of a stricter environment against alcohol, the implications that this O-Week decision could have on other licensed events at Trinity College, and the trivialization of student leadership.

Any decision made about alcohol has the potential to be a double-edged sword.

Any decision made about alcohol has the potential to be a double-edged sword. On one hand, the excessive use of alcohol is dangerous and can lead to disastrous effects. On the other hand, it can be more progressive to nurture a community of students that understands how to engage with alcohol safely. When justifying her decision, Provost Moran said “We all recognize that the use of alcohol is something that people do in many set-

tings, including in university. Learning to engage in a thoughtful, responsible use of alcohol is very important. To me, we try to always make sure we approach it in a healthy, balanced way.”

Being responsible while engaging with alcohol was the basis of a presentation made by Ramata Tarawally, our Associate Director of Community Wellness, during Orientation Week. This presentation was a progressive move that dealt with the reality that students will engage in alcohol during their time in university. However, the decision to remove licensed events at Orientation Week was infantilizing, as it put Trinity College in the setting of a high school rather than a post-secondary institution comprising of academically-accomplished consenting adults.

“There’s quite a dramatic difference between the ordinary events that Trinity holds and Orientation, where the events are, by definition, for people who are under the drinking age” While underage first-year students would not have been given access to alcohol at the Orientation Week events, the presence of alcohol would have facilitated a more relaxed environment in Trinity about alcohol. It would have informed first-year students that the administration acknowledges that alcohol may be consumed at events, and would have emphasized the role of Sober Patrol to support students rather than discipline them.

Without achieving this latter goal, a major concern is that, should a student be in danger as a consequence of the excessive use of alcohol during the year, they may be more concerned about receiving disciplinary actions for underage drinking rather than receiving the required assistance. Additionally, first-year students interested in drinking may be more inclined to attend social events away from Trinity College, which pose a larger safety concern. Throughout Orientation Week, it was notable that countless first-year students were attending parties at fraternities regularly.

Additionally, the decision to not license Orientation Week events creates a larger concern among students regarding other social events at the col-

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lege that hold licenses, including Saints, Conversat, Bubbly, and the Lit. Provost Mayo Moran responded to this concern. “There’s quite a dramatic difference between the ordinary events that Trinity holds and Orientation, where the events are, by definition, for people who are under the drinking age,” she said. “They’re completely different situations.”

Finally, the most pressing issue stemming from this decision is the manner in which the decision was made. The disregard shown to the plans and budgets that were approved by Trinity students creates a tangible divide between students and the administration. When the decision regarding alcohol at Orientation Week was reached, most students were uninformed about the reasoning and rationale process. Both the Student Heads and the Orientation Committee’s opinions were disregarded in this matter. Upon hearing of the decision, the Heads team sent a letter on behalf of the students to both the Provost’s and the Dean’s office. In the letter, the Heads noted that the decision was “detrimental and severely undermines the role of students at the College, as well as the relationship between administration and students.” The letter did not receive a response from either office.

In the letter, the Heads noted that the decision was “detrimental and severely undermines the role of students at the College, as well as the relationship between administration and students.”

The letter did not receive a response from either office.

The administration’s continued infringement upon student government at Trinity is concerning, as student voices should be prioritized more at an institution that claims to value them. While it is understood that there is a legal liability and legal limits to student autonomy and governance, there should be a more collaborative process in bigger decisions so that there is greater understanding among the students and administration.

Salterrae • September 2016

Anti-Klamactic A Night in the Swamp

By: Damian Klambauer Illustrator: Claire Shenstone-Harris

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rough­spun, rustic cotton blanket, Yoda purred, “Hamilton, come back to bed, you must.”

Hamilton looked on in horror as Yoda became No­da, and the green form he so loved morphed to become that of his most hated nemesis.

“I can’t, my little love­muppet. Every night this week, something’s been keeping me up.”

“Aaron Bursar! You scoundrel! What are you doing in my swamp?”

“Now what might that be, hrrrm?” Yoda expertly hopped across the room onto Hamilton’s broad shoulders and began to massage them.

Aaron smiled unctuously and began to slide around the room.

rom under a

“Everything, tell me. Something I can do, there may be.”

“I just can’t shake the feeling that it’s all pointless.

It’s September already. Soon it’ll be cold and our lovely little swamp will freeze over. In a couple of years you’ll be 950 and I 265. I saw some Trinity College first-years the other day, bursting with youthful exuberance and stinking of hope and effluvia. Where did all the time go, Master Yoda?”

Hamilton’s eyes, tired from witnessing countless $13.04 CAD deals on UofT Free and For Sale, flashed with an inner light. He pouted sexily.

“Pointless it is, of course. Brief flickering moments in the history of the Force, we are. Or shall I say, poorly­-written characters in weird fanfic, we are.

Look around, look around, what is our swamp doing in Toronto? Why are you even here? Why did I just forget my accent and why am I suddenly so tall?”

“Get to the point, Hamilton. Our author is running out of ideas in his fourth-year and decided that a Hamilton/Yoda crossover fanfic was the appropriate framing device for a column giving advice to first years. Deliver your lines so we can go back to America.”

Our author is running out of ideas in his fourth-year and decided that a Hamilton/Yoda crossover fanfic was the appropriate framing device for a column giving advice to first years.

“Ugh, our author is a hack—” “Oh, just get on with it.”

“Fine! Okay. Uhh. Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. This above all: to thine ownself be true,” Hamilton stammered.

“That’s cheating. Think up your own lines, Melania.”

“Alright you want advice? I’ll advise the hell out of these first years! Join a club. Start your own weird little fanfic collective and rescue me from this hack writer. Join the Lit. I don’t care. Go to class. Skip class. Get to know your professors. Date your TAs. Don’t listen to the haters that say you can’t start a federal bank

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if you really want to. Make the most of your time, because eventually you’ll wake up old and washed up and Aaron will be slithering around your cozy little swamp.

“And another thing, Aaron Bursar, no one in this country even knew who you were a year ago. At least they confused me sometimes with Hamilton, Ontario! You don’t strike fear into the hearts of undergrads and you don’t hold relevance today.

Get out of here and get me a villain that can do both.”

With these words Hamilton’s eyes flashed like lightning and a crack in the floor opened up to swallow Aaron whole. The hovel continued to shake and every lightbulb in the room shattered.

Black oil began to puddle on the floor and Stephen Harper emerged from the depths of Alberta.

“Why have you summoned me?” The former Prime­Minister’s voice boomed with the assumed authority of one who— Snicker-snack.

Hamilton’s vorpal blade sliced through Harper effortlessly. The Founding Father withdrew his weapon from its fleshy rest with a satisfying schlunk. The deed done, Hamilton turned around and marveled at the sight of his beloved Yoda standing sopping w ­ et in the doorway as the rain beat down around the hovel. The sword clattered on the ground where it fell. Yoda silently sashayed into the hut. “Immigrants, we get the job done,” Hamilton joked, kicking the prime ministerial remains and smirking as the door closed shut.

The hovel continued to shake and every lightbulb in the room shattered. Black oil began to puddle on the floor and Stephen Harper emerged from the depths of Alberta.

Allegra Wiesenfeld • Sex Column

sweat, tears and steam tunnels YOUR GUIDE TO SEXING IT UP AT TRIN PARTIES By: Allegra Wiesenfeld

It’s a new school year, and with that comes the chance to redeem yourself at all of the parties you publically ate someone’s face off at last year. Master your wheeling game at Pub Nights, High Tables and various formal events with these sexy tips.

toga party

Orientation Week is over, meaning the Trin goggles have firmly solidified on your face. By Toga Party, standards drop drastically as you realize that no one is truly as hot or as diverse as the Trinity stock photos advertised, and this event was the prime time to test out your shiny new rose-colored glasses with airbrushing capabilities.

Toga offers a unique setting in which catchy zippers, stiff belt buckles and stubborn buttons are removed entirely from the equation. Frantically undressing your partner before your new roommate gets back to find the room devirginized in the name of Eros was made easier by the fact that no one cared if you ripped open their Honest Ed’s bed sheet. To that one frosh with 800-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, may the gods be with you. Ignore the fact that in Ancient Rome the only women who wore togas were prostitutes, and you’re ready to go!

Orientation leaders, I hope you kept your little Jupiter firmly in place, both because indecent exposure in a toga is highly probable and highly unwanted, and because you made an unbreakable vow through your contract.

Recommended sex position: The Greek. Despite what popular Greek mythology would indicate, this does not involve having sex with Zeus in one of his animal forms.

halloween pub night

Since you’re too old to trick-or-treat, is there really anything else to do at this point? Lighting your jack-o-lantern down there is the perfect way to dull the pain that comes with there being no candy at this Halloween-themed pub night. It also dulls the pain that comes with being at a Buttery party, period.

Recommended sex position: Dirty Dancing.

You’re at a Buttery pub night in a scandalous cos-

tume; odds are you’re already in this position on the dance floor.

saints coffee house

Have you ever thought to yourself: all I want is for someone to declare their feelings by crooning a love song in my general direction in front of everyone in attendance, putting me in the really awkward position of having to either go for it or confront it? Well, if you’re one of the rare folk who have been thinking this, Saints Coffee House is the event for you. Keep your ears peeled for this romantically-inclined IRL version of a subtweet and you could be getting your jollies on after loading up on free food and caffeine, keeping you bloated and awake for some harmonious sex.

Recommended sex position: The Melody Maker. If singing isn’t your strong suit, keep the musical moment alive with this position that looks like a huge ass neck strain. Being thematic is crucial, goddamit!

bubbly

Let’s be realistic here, priority numero uno is the free champagne. Take the night off, and focus all that energy on securing as many drink tickets as you can without handing over the cash. If priorities stray, just keep reminding yourself that technically you’ve paid for this through your student fees, and you’ll regret the highest-at-UofT-tuition if you don’t make the most of it. Warning: high risk of regurgitating at the end of the night if you’re not careful. Better it’s on the Dean’s shoes than your bae’s, right?

Recommended sex position: Trick question!

Get back in the champagne line!

conversat

How does that saying go? Get dressed up to get messed up. With the soft lull of smooth jazz as your background music, you’ll barely notice how uncomfortable the steam tunnel floors are. Experts secure the keys to the Student Publications Office to bone on a surface not sullied by slushy February footprints, while rookies sacrifice their pricey formalwear as makeshift sheets to get down and dirty on.

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Recommended sex position: The Pearl Necklace. That way you don’t even have to buy jewelry for the event!

scarlet and black

Nothing gets future delegates, politicians and lawyers going more than a leadership-themed dinner.

Push past the fact that the food is the same quality as every other day but this time you get less choice and you have to wait to get it, and savour that sensual rush of ambition you get from listening to officials say Latin words that they’ve blindly memorized and falsely gush about their fellow high-position holders.

Recommended sex position: Heir to the Throne. Fantasize about being honored at next year’s high table as Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, or as it’s more colloquially known, Head of College, in this powerful position.

quad party

Peak hookup time is upon us with the end of classes and the biggest blowout party at Trin (code for: one-eighth of the quad is filled with messy inebriated students rather than half of the Buttery being filled with messy inebriated students). Munch on those contraband chips and keep consent key, and this event will be your sexiest ever.

With the enhanced risk of getting caught and also of accidentally getting naked in a patch of vomit, it is strongly recommended to keep the quad exhibitionism to a minimum. Making that twominute trek to your room (or the non-res room if you’re off-campus and need that quickie dickie) will make all the difference in saving you years of residual back pain and the horror of a security guard catching a glimpse at your O-face on their patrols. If you listen closely, you can still hear the faint slick sound of Handjob Hilda helping to nourish the bushes with some salty fertilizer.

Recommended sex position: Shower. Along with being able to skip on the lube with this one, shower sex has the added benefit of washing away all those mud stains from the sludgy quad. You can even skip the sex and just opt for getting clean.

Please just stay hygienic. Please.

Salterrae • September 2016

ONDIFAQ: Written and illustrated by: Ondiek Oduor

New Year, New Salty Me

Dear Beloveds,

Q: Hey Old Man (ahaha)!

Contrary to (my) popular belief, I am, in fact, not above attending summer school.

I’m so excited to be starting my studies at Trin this September – so excited that I’ve already started packing for my dorm room in Rowlinson!

Yup. Both the Registrar—and my disappointed dad— were right when they individually—and in completely different scenarios—pulled me aside to ask me why I smelled like both a “left-handed cigarette” and a “cigarette-cigarette” at the same time.

This was of course followed by unique variations of the statement, “Ondiek, you’re being a bum bitch, if you don’t clean up, you’re going to end up taking a fifth year, writing again for that ‘Salt’ magazine, and scamming people out of their credit card numbers on Instagram to bankroll your newfound ‘interest’ in neutral tones.” (Note: this is a bougie way of not telling your peers that half your closet has been inspired by Getty Images of the three-year old North West – who is, by the way, objectively better than whoever is reading this article right now).

Well, the joke’s on them, because I’m only getting credit card numbers through the newly-established, and poorly-thought-out, Trinity College group chat on Facebook. Hit me up if you want to turn your ten dollars into one thousand dollars.

Anywho! I’m back to answer all of the pressing questions at this College. These questions include whether it is ethical for the TCM to refund a student five dollars for the money they spent on snacks at the annual ‘Aids—Terminal Cancer—Tuberculosis: Be the Change’ fundraiser if he/she/they have lost his/her/ their receipt, and irregular spotting during menstruation.

Before I start my golden showers of wisdom, I want to give a special thank you to my sponsors—Maddy Torrie, the Bishop®, and ISIS—for their never-ending support and teamwork. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I’ve only heard good things about Frosh Week at Trin, minus the incidents of racism or whatever, but I’m still a bit concerned. I was recently told that this year Frosh Week would not be called Frosh Week, but rather “dry” Orientation Week. The theme this year is called ‘From Sea to Trinity,’ so, I’m very confused because the sea is wet. What does this all mean?

As someone of geriatric age, how do you feel about a “dry” Orientation Week? How do you think it would compare to the Frosh Week you attended in 1991?

Stay healthy, YMCMB A: Hi YMCMB, I don’t know if you actually don’t know how old I am, or if you’re just being petty for the sake of being petty, but I am only 22. Taylor Swift was 22 once, and so was Selena Gomez, and also Malcolm X. So, fuck you, I am ecstatic that your Frosh Week will be dry.

You wanted my opinion? Well here it is.

A dry frosh week is kind of like: paying for drugs with monopoly money; using unscented deodorant and expecting to not smell like Strachan’s garbage; pretending that gluten-free options don’t taste like play-doh; believing that tea that makes you crap yourself will actually help you lose fat; thinking that the NSA cares about your dick picz; and believing that a Trinity College student volunteers just for the sake volunteering.

Basically, a dry frosh, to you, means a willing suspension of disbelief and many conversations about high school student council while wearing togas. Upper-years will remain busy chipping their teeth and grinding to the latest Major Lazer remix.

Fight the Power, Ondi

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Ondiek Oduor • OndiFAQ

Q: Hey Arjundi!

First of all, how’s your summer going?

Mine’s going great right now! I am sporadically working at my uncle’s golf club – I don’t know what my job title is, but I’m making enough to buy Kylie’s Lip Kit™ every time a new colour comes out! I love, love, LOVE how good ‘Dolce K’ looks when my family’s nanny does boxer braids for me. I have also been practicing logic games for the LSAT, which I will be writing in three years! I can’t stop smiling!

Q: Hey Ondiek, Um, I don’t see why it’s so hard to understand that #AllLivesMatter.

Think about it, Egalitari-Frosh

A: Hi Egalitari-Frosh,

Except, there is one thing that’s been bothering me for some time now. I spent my entire life at an elite all-girls private school in Toronto—Hellmann’s College—and we were required to wear uniforms everyday! So, I was wondering, what should I be wearing to lectures? What is the fashion protocol at UofT? I’m very into fashion, so don’t worry about holding back!

Thank you for your input!

I wish I had a cyst somewhere on my body so that I could pop it, and drain the puss into your naked eye.

Best, Ondi

Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada!

Zoey A: Hi Zoey!

Thank you so much for asking! Except for the consistent heat waves we’ve been having and writing this column, the summer was pretty groovy for me. I have a job that doesn’t involve retail, which is automatically a win-win situation. It may not be your uncle’s golf club, but hey, I make enough for my La Roche-Posay face routine. Though, I’m glad your summer is going well!

Anyways, there is no real standard law for what students wear to class. In fact, when UofT brags about its diversity, they are really talking about the diversity of clothing choices that students have here.

There are students like Female Head of College, Nish Chankar, who pairs her counter-culture Daria/Lindsay Weir green jacket with subtle ombré highlights and a disdain for American imperialism. Or Male Head of Arts, Thomas Robson, who, in his ideal world, would probably only wear form fitting shorts—and nothing else—to prove that he indeed does have a butt that does not quit. Also, Male Head of College, Anthony Marchese, who routinely goes to his Cold War tutorials with a well-maintained scruff paired with a simple button up under his J. Crew catalogue full-priced sweater—which I’m jealous that I can’t pull off—all while holding a tinfoil pan full of his Ma’ Marchese’s famous chicken alfredo baked ziti.

I, however, like to dress for comfort especially if my classes are in the morning.

Think to yourself, if you were going to Shoppers Drug Mart at this moment for Plan B, which is a tiny bit like going to morning classes, what would you be wearing? Probably something comfortable. My choices for tutorials usually involve a comfortable relaxed-fit pharmacy-appropriate hoodie which I usually match with my favourite pair of skinny pharmacy-appropriate sweatpants (for a little fashion flair) and matching pharmacy-appropriate loafers.

I hope that cleared up any questions you had!

Love, Ondi

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Salterrae • September 2016

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horoscopes By: Rachel Copp Clark

SEPT 24 - OCT 23

Congrats, Libra. You’re actually doing really well in life right now! You had a great summer and the stars admire your confidence in calling out one of your enemies on social media. Unfortunately, the fact that your life doesn’t suck right now means that everyone hates you. This may make you a little sad, but don’t let it get you down.

Famous Libra: Amelia Cook, Michael Johnston, Katrina Li, Anthony Marchese, Shubhi Sahni

H

OCT 24 - NOV 22

At this time last year, the stars said you were going to die sad and alone in this world. Nothing has changed.

Famous Scorpio: Emma Bailey, Nish Chankar, Fares Kardous

I

NOV 23 - DEC 21

It’s time to get it together, Sagittarius. I’m starting to worry, because lately you’ve been about as functional as cell service in the basement of Sid Smith. This comes from a place of love so please don’t sue me for saying that. Also, the stars don’t give a shit if you didn’t ask to be a part of this narrative.

J

Famous Sagittarius: Julien Ferland

DEC 22 - JAN 20

Get excited, because this month is going to be full of new surprises and adventures. But take caution, not all surprises are good and herpes never goes away. Be extra careful on Snapchat so that you don’t accidentally add one of your nudes to your Story. That would be so embarrassing but also so funny.

Famous Capricorn: Chelsea Colwill, Leila Martin, Haris Raheel, Thomas Robson

K

JAN 21 - FEB 19

Mars and Jupiter’s fourth moon are aligning this month, so I urge you to take caution in all areas of your life. Also, if you pass a trash can, make sure to say hello. I know it’s awkward to run into your ex, but ignoring them is rude.

Famous Aquarius: Arjun Gandhi, Brian Lee, Pri Sharma

L

FEB 20 - MAR 20

You need to stop messaging upper years for leadership positions. I’m gonna let it slide for now, but asking over Facebook Messenger won’t be enough from now on. Try bribes of cash, food, and edible arrangements instead.

Famous Pisces: Braden Kenny, Amanda La Mantia, Val Steckle

A

MAR 21 - APR 20

Mercury opposes Neptune right now, which means that this will be an amazing month for a lot of people. Unfortunately, as an Aries, you probably won’t be one of them. Get ready for the next few weeks to be filled with disappointment, stale Strachan cookies, and an overall feeling of emptiness. Also, you should avoid the colour purple.

B

Famous Aries: Nick Allard, Aceel Hawa

APR 21 - MAY 21

C

MAY 22 - JUNE 21

You may look back on last year and cringe, much the same as when you go through your Facebook statuses from 2008, but it’s ok, Gemini. I believe you can turn it around and be less embarrassing this year. After all, no one wants a repeat of that time you drunk cried over organic chemistry in front of all of your friends.

Famous Gemini: Sam Kokonis, Kate Power

D

JUNE 22 - JULY 23

You’re in for another year of bullshit and boat shoes, so you might as well get used to being unhappy. That’s how you’re going to be feeling until April—except for October 3rd, because the stars promised to spare you a year of misery for one day. You’re welcome.

E

Famous Cancer: Rachel Levitt

JULY 24 - AUG 23

You may be feeling suspicious this month which tbh I don’t blame you for, because people around here can be so shady. It’s also ok to be a bit uncertain if Pokemon Go is trying to lead you down a sketchy alleyway in the middle of the night, because that dark figure that you see in the distance probably isn’t Pikachu.

Famous Leo: Basil Southey

F

APR 21 - MAY 21

I know a typical school year for you mostly involves procrastinating by following Trin Facebook drama and becoming sleep-deprived from all of the time you spend running away from your problems. Maybe this year you will be able to get off the struggle bus that is your life and finally be a valuable asset to society. Maybe not. Probably not.

I am usually pretty rude with these horoscopes, but at the moment I actually like you, Virgo. With your third moon starting a new lunar cycle, you’re going to have a pretty good month. Unless you talk too much about your fantasy football bracket.

It’s annoying and no one cares.

Famous Taurus: Ali Harkness, Sam Melsom, Billie Rose Owen

Famous Virgo: Farbod Abolhassani, Pierre Kochel, Alexander Sapp, Joudy Sarraj, Alex Smith

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