April 2013

April 2013

21st Century Rush Pub

No One Puts Sana Ali in a Corner

Wallball

Can this tradition align with modern progressive values?

The brutal odyssey of Trinity’s blood sport p.

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Our exclusive interview on her public departure from Team Renew

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CONTENTS

APRIL 2013

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS P.2 FILMS P.3 AMANDA GREER NOVEL READS P.4 SUSHANI SINGH SPORTS P.5 KALEEM HAWA DURANSWERS P.6 LUCAS DURAND NO G-STRINGS ATTACHED P.6 HELENAZ HAJIFATTAHI HIP SIPS P.7 SOFIA RIEVE HIGH TABLE, LOW TURNOUT P.8 ANYA BROYTMAN ELIZABETH ABBOTT COMES BACK TRIN P.9 LARISSA PARKER TRIN FASHION P.10 MARTINA BELLISARIO AL CAPONEVERSAT P.14 KATE MOTLUK BRUNCH P.17 EVAN HUTCHISON DEBUNKING DEFEDERATION P.22 HAYDEN RODENKIRCHEN DORM COVETEUR P.26 CARLING FRASER QUIZ: WHAT KIND OF TRIN STUDENT ARE YOU? P. 32 VICTORIA HOFFMAN IT AIN’T EASY BEING GREEN P.34 LARISSA PARKER WHAT SHALL I DO TODAY? P.35 SIMONE GARCIA

FEATURES TRIN PERSONALITIES: ADAM HOGAN BY: MELISSA BEAUREGARD

Melissa Beauregard gets our new Assistant Dean to spill on soda, Straight Edge and sinking into life at Trin.

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FEAR AND LOATHING UNDER HENDERSON TOWER BY: BARTHOLOMEW ST. JAMES AND HIS ASSOCIATE, THE GOOD DOCTOR

Think you know Wallball? Think again.

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UTSU: SO HOT RIGHT NOW BY: EMILY JENNINGS

An interview with UTSU President Shaun Shepherd featuring everything from fee diversion to zombie apocalypse preparation.

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FROM DRINKING TEA TO DRINKING... EVERYTHING BY: JORDAN MAY AND MADDY STEWART

Did St. Hildians get frisky in the 50s?

Find out in this (scandalous) ‘herstory’ of Trinity College.

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NO ONE PUTS SANA ALI IN A CORNER BY: MELISSA BEAUREGARD

You’ve read the Facebook letter. You’ve seen the YouTube clips.

Now check out this exclusive look into this hero’s very public breakup with Team Renew.

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The Salterrae • April 2013

Films

No but let’s talk about them By: Amanda Greer

Illustrations: Mark Harris It was a cold March evening. A biting wind blew outside, chapping the lips of the lovebirds huddled for warmth in each other’s bosoms. I didn’t care. I was about to see 21 & Over, which was sure to be a Hangover-esque drunken romp.

The story centres around Casey and Miller, two friends from high school who reunite to surprise their friend Jeff Chang, a student at the prestigious-yet-fictional Northern University, on his 21st birthday.

The plot is pretty basic: Jeff can’t go out because he has a hard-ass Asian father and an interview for medical school in the morning. Naturally, Casey and Miller convince Jeff to go get a beer, and he begins drinking like Prohibition’s about to be re-instated. Unsurprisingly, things go awry very quickly. To pick out a few choice antics: Casey and Miller are spanked by a sorority of Latina girls, Jeff dances with a teddy bear glued to his Twinkie, and a rampaging buffalo makes an appearance.

I had watched the film for a grand total of five minutes when I realized something tragic. 21 & Over is an artistic expression of life at U of T. Specifically life at Trin. It is revealed that Jeff does not want to be a doctor, since studying science has stressed him out to the point that one night he became so tweaked out on study-drugs that he misfired his gun (America, right?) and almost killed himself. Can you say Trin Life Sci student?

Casey, played by that really cute guy from Pitch Perfect, Skylar Astin, is a business student who is depressed about starting his life at a law firm, and feels that he has wasted his youth by sticking to the life dictated by societal expectations. He

constantly sports suits and ties (it would put JT to shame), the film’s way of screaming, “HE’S A NERD WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE,” just in case we didn’t get it from his awkward dialogue and cheesy pick-up lines. In this sense, he embodies the average Trin kid. He is what 80% of Trinity students (statistic is not based on factual evidence) aim to become.

The film, however, does provide an accurate representation of what we actually will become, through the character of ‘The Chief.’ He’s an ostensibly homeless man who wears a Native American headdress and dances on acid at frequent intervals throughout the film. It was like looking at a 1T5/1T3 class reunion (sorry, 1T4).

Of course, no bromance movie would be complete without a group of bullies set on ruining the bros’ night. In this case, we have Randy, played

by Jonathan Keltz, and his crew. They experience a lovely transformation from angry, testosterone-driven thugs, to misunderstood, sensitive boy-men, reminiscent of KA boys: tough on the outside, but fragile on the inside (like Peter Pan).

21 & Over is a fun, light-hearted comedy about lasting friendships and pursuing passions. Its forced dialogue, textbook conflicts and archetypal characters, however, make for a failed attempt to re-create American Pie for the digital generation.

Nice try boys, but nothing beats pie penetration.

To truly appreciate the characters’ drunken mishaps, I would suggest drinking heavily before seeing this film. Just don’t wake up with a bear super-glued to your Little Soldier.

Unless it’s after Quad Party.

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I am not a 13 year-old boy. (Un)fortunately, I happen to have one at my disposal, and he is an avid lover of all things zombie and horror. I decided to let him do the talking about Hollywood’s latest zombie flick, Warm Bodies, written and directed by Jonathan Levine.

But first, a brief synopsis of the film: It is Romeo and Juliet. With zombies.

R, played by the British-ly dreamy Nicholas Hoult, is a zombie that longs to live again. Teresa Palmer plays Julie, a human girl suffering under her father’s oppressive anti-zombie regime (getting the inter-textual references yet?). After eating Julie’s boyfriend’s brains, R saves her and they form an unusual but tender relationship. In short: they found love in a hopeless place.

Here is what young, bespectacled, recently pubescent Ian Greer had to say: AG: So Ian, how would you describe the film?

What is it about?

IG: It was really different from other zombie movies. It was definitely a rom-com. I’d say it’s more of a romance… no, more of a comedy…

AG: Make up your mind.

IG: Comedy. It’s definitely more of a comedy.

AG: Did the underlying element of necrophilia freak you out?

Salterrae • Arts and Culture IG: Surprisingly, I wasn’t thinking about that too much. I knew that with it being a light-hearted movie that there wouldn’t be anything too serious, like necrophilia.

AG: How do you know what necrophilia is?

IG: I read.

Pause.

AG: You know that zombies were first created in moviesIG: Yeah, by Romero.

AG: Don’t interrupt me. You know that zombies were first created as a kind of metaphor for the assembly-line working style and were a comment on capitalist society. This movie was very different. Do you think that’s a negative progression of zombie films, or a positive change?

IG: I don’t think it’s a trend at all. I think it was just for the purposes of this movie. Take, for instance, The Walking Dead. The zombies are no less scary and gruesome than they always have been. Warm Bodies is a comedy, and you don’t want people to be scared during a comedy.

(Note: Duh, Ian.) AG: Did you think that it was weird that only a week after R ate Julie’s boyfriend’s brains, Julie fell in love with him?

IG: Of course it’s kind of weird, but it’s a movie, it has a time limit. I mean, she stays with him for a few days, so we see them bonding, but it seems weird that she would give up on her boyfriend that she seems to have known for her entire life.

AG: What was your favourite line?

IG: (In a deep, Batman-esque voice) “Fuck yeah.”

AG: How many thumbs up would you give this, out of ten?

IG: An eight.

AG: That’s high praise.

Papa Greer (from the next room): YEAH, IAN, THAT MEANS IT’S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE. WHICH IT WASN’T. IG: Oh, ok. I will give it a seven. So that’s like 3.5 people giving their thumbs up.

Well, there you have it. Three and a half people raise their thumbs to Levine’s Warm Bodies, according to a 13 year-old with very little knowledge on the subject. While Warm Bodies wasn’t exactly on fire, it did warm my heart and perhaps teach an old cynic how to love. Maybe we’re all just zombies who need a lil’ lovin’ to keep us warm.

Novel Reads A Summer Reading List

By: Sushani Singh

Illustrations: Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer With textbook readings, assignments, and the general all-encompassing reality of university, it can be hard to find the time to read for fun. The summer, though, gives students a rare dose of free time.

In between patio drinks and internships, everyone should consider reading John Green’s Looking for Alaska (2005). A young adult novel, Looking for Alaska explores the many “firsts” of the young and friendless Miles Halter from Florida.

After the tenth grade, Miles decides to move away to attend a boarding school in Alabama.

Here, he meets Alaska Young, who becomes one of his best friends and eventually his first crush. She teaches Miles what it is like to be reckless and young, and to push against parental guidance and expectations. Alaska also teaches Miles about the complexity of human existence, loss and love.

Although many contemporary young adult novels are filled with clichés (insert love-struck vampires here), Green rejects literary conformity.

He delves into the depths of raw and tumultuous adolescence while revealing the liberty that follows self-actualization. This book is particularly poignant for someone nearing the end of their first year at university. It evokes nostalgia and is relevant to new, shared experiences that members of 1T6, once strangers to the U of T, have had.

More Summer Reads Inferno, Dan Brown, 2013 While Dan Brown’s novels are often criticized for their historical inaccuracy, and for being all substance/no style, I am personally looking forward to another blockbuster in print form! Hitting the shelves on May 14th, this should definitely be on your list if you loved The Da Vinci Code and Dante’s Inferno.

Les Misérables, Victor Hugo, 1862 Many people do not feel motivated to read the classics until the movie adaptation is released.

Shamefully, after hearing rave reviews from Hol-

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lywood this year, my copy of Les Mis will finally be pulled off the shelf. ‘An oldie but a goodie’ (or so I’ve heard).

The Messenger, Markus Zusak, 2002 Definitely one of my favourites, and a sure reread. The Messenger is crafty exploration of the wonder of everyday pursuits. A taxicab driver who is hopelessly in love receives mysterious playing cards in the mail outlining a series of good deeds he must complete. Zusak’s book combines the best of mystery and feel-good comfort to create the perfect summer read.

Beatrice and Virgil, Yann Martel, 2010 Mantel left countless fans of Life of Pi thirsty for more. His latest book follows the journey of a once-successful author through writer’s block, and is an allegorical representation of the Holocaust featuring a taxidermist, a donkey, and a Howler monkey.

The Salterrae • Sports

SPORTS KALEEM HAWA GETS DOWN AND DIRTY WITH TRINITY’S ATHLETES BY:KALEEM HAWA

Under the leadership of the TCAA President Nick Chong and the SHAA President Emily Hisey-Bowden, Trinity College athletics have been very successful this year.

Trin Basketball, continuing their winning streak this year as both the Women’s and co-ed teams, won their fall championships. The co-ed team claimed the winter championship as well.

This marks the fourth consecutive season vic-

TCAA president Emily Hisey-Bowden looks back at the year with fondness: “Trin Athletics this year have involved several moments of greatness for both the women’s and co-ed teams. One of the best things about this year is that, along with some excellent team results, we’ve seen some great commitment and involvement from first years, both as participants and as spectators, which is really awesome! It is my hope that many of them will

Cashin, a tough-as-nails Denny Lambert enforcer in David Brayley, and a Damian Rhodes – literally the greatest goaltender ever to play the game – in our goalie, Jamie Bonar.” When pressed to respond to Nick’s comments, Sarty remarked, “as for the ‘most heart’, I couldn’t possibly comment on that. All I know is that we had a lot of people come out that never played hockey before, not expecting to win anything, just wanting to play for a

“WE LIKE TO THINK THAT WE BRING THE SAME INTENSITY AND PASSION TO THE STAGE AS WE DO TO THE SOCCER FIELD” tory for the co-ed team, and has cemented their reputation as one of the most competitive teams in their league.

Captain Harpreet Sandhu emphasized the inclusiveness of the team as their key to success: “What’s different [about us] is that we compete as a whole team – the girls play just as much as the guys. The other teams usually perceive their girls as weaker and so they have the guys do most of the work. With us, everyone plays a part.”

The Trin Women’s Soccer team showed their team spirit with a stunning dance debut at the Saint’s Coffee House. The performance “was a blur,” recalled Erin Singer, who had a near-death experience when she almost fell off the stage. “We all pre’d really hard,” she continued, “it was fun.

We like to think that we bring the same intensity and passion to the stage as we do to the soccer field.”

The annual Conversat Bowl was another seminal women’s sport event at Trin. David Brayley, Upper Year Women’s football captain, called the 28-0 victory a, “near flawless performance by the upper years”, with much credit going to the MVP Emily Hisey-Bowden and quarterback Tina Saban. He is quick to laud the upper year women on their defense as well.

“I don’t even think the first years got a first down without a penalty,” he says, congratulating Mel Beauregard, Lydia Farnell, Sarah Nankivell and Kalyna Onufryk for their solid work.

In another significant achievement, the college fielded a women’s lacrosse team for the first time in a number of years through a partnership with the School of Graduate Studies.

continue to participate in and build up the Trin love of the game. That says a lot about the charAthletics program in their coming years.” acter of this team.”

Men’s sports at Trin enjoyed considerable sucThe Saints bowl provided another well-attendcess – notably the championship victory of the ed and passionately played Trin sports event, Trinity College Division 1 Men’s Soccer Team. resulting in a 46-14 rout, which Brayley called Under the tireless leadership of captain Jack “another day at the office for the ever-dominant Cashin, the soccer team returned the cup to Trin upper year team” congratulating quarterback for the first time since 2009. When asked about Alec Wilson on his 4 touchdown passes as well the team’s success, Cashin replied, “A lot can be as the offensive play of James Proctor and Fabio attributed to the new squad we had coming in. Ponti who “found themselves on the receiving end This includes our first year stars Jorge Quesada of those passes.” Throwing the first years a bone, and Reid Dobell.” Cashin expects the talent to Brayley conferred an “honourable mention to first carry through and, “is looking forward to another year athlete Jorge Quesada who tied Ben Walmsstrong year in the future.” He is also resentful ley’s record for most touchdowns by a first year.” that his late Salterrae column, ‘Juiced’, has been When asked about the year as a whole, TCAA scrapped.

President Nick Chong is very humble: “The point Even when not winning championships or of the TCAA is to recognize the accomplishments drinking Miller Lite, Trin sport teams have a great of others.” He finds himself excited by the prostime. TCAA President Nick Chong calls the Trin pect of the upcoming Athletic Banquet, the annuDivision 3 hockey team “possibly the most spirit- al joint TCAA/SHAA event that recognizes the ed team at the college.” Michael Sarty, captain of members of college who demonstrated excepthe team quickly turned tional contributions patriotic when asked “JUST WANTING TO PLAY FOR to Trinity’s athletic about his group of underprogramme. Nick was THE LOVE OF THE GAME” dogs. “In many ways, the sentimental when he Titans remind me of the came across an old 1996-1997 Ottawa Senators,” he confessed. That Trin plaque detailing the Trinity teams that was the first season the Senators made the play- had won championships in the 1950s. For him, offs, and they did it right on the last day of the this year is about making our literal mark on Trin season - after finishing dead-last the year before.” history. He sees Trin athletics as the college Sarty, of course, is referencing the last min- tradition most important to him: “Even for ute development in which the self-titled Trinity those that don’t love gowns, there is someTitans made playoffs due to the disqualification thing about this College that we appreciate of a Graduate team. Sarty says, “we’ve got our for its years of history. For me, that thing is hot-shot, petulant superstar Alexei Yashin in Jack athletics.”

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Salterrae • April 2013 The Salterrae April 2013

Trin Fashion Where Street Style Meets the Quad By: Martina Bellisario

Photographs by: Donald Belfon

Donald Belfon

as his latest Latin American Studies essay. Pairing a dark wash denim jacket with a soft grey sweater over a crisp white shirt, he evokes Club Monaco cool without taking himself too seriously: his candy-coloured rubber watch and thick-rimmed plastic glasses give a playful, cool-geek edge to

an otherwise low-key ensemble. By buttoning his shirt to the very top, he keeps the lines of his outfit clean while achieving the seemingly impossible: a look that manages to subtly unite the very best of preppy and punk.

Fern Ramoutar

age to Stella McCartney’s spring 2012 line, Fern Ramoutar conquers one of the trickiest trends of the moment: pyjama-chic. In her slouchy printed pants and studded smoking slippers, her outfit tells us that PJs are simply too cool and too comfortable to be left in the bedroom. The key to this trend is to keep it simple and find the right fit:

pants that are too tight or loose can distract from the streamlined elegance of the look. With her soft denim shirt and plain white top, Fern’s outfit is as sophisticated as it is relaxed; feminine and flattering, she proves that you don’t have to swap out style to achieve a comfy look.

As the snow quietly melts and the semester comes to an end, it’s important for every Trinity student to stay sharp, both mentally and fashionably.

Donald Belfon manages to do just that with a neutral, clean-cut look, one that reads just as well

Whether you prefer to take up camp within the brutalist confines of Robarts, across from Dean Allen’s reassuring portrait at Graham, or in the cozy JCR, it’s obvious that when it comes to studying for finals, comfort is key. Paying hom-

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Salterrae Salterrae •• FFashion ashion

Marika Cukrowski

As the chilly March breeze nips our noses, the Trinity girl finds herself in a familiar predicament: how to soak up early spring sunshine in the Quad without catching a chill. In her big furry vest, oversized printed scarf, and black

beanie, we get the sense from Marika Cukrowski that freezing can be quite fashionable. Skillfully navigating through contrasting layers and textures, Marika rocks a modern version of le look boyfriend, a forever-favourite of filmmaker Sofia Coppola and The Sartorialist’s stylish Parisian

Alex Isaia

to pull together an outfit that’s both romantic and rock-n-roll, Lolita-sweet with a bohemian edge.

Alex’s matte black leather ankle boots stand in striking contrast to her lace-frilled socks, crumpled daintily over acid-wash skinny jeans. On top, she sports a forest green coat with faux fur-lined lapels and dons colourful bracelets and rings, emulating Penny Lane from Almost Famous. The epitome of cool, her bold look exudes confidence; whether it’s the harsh Canadian weather or the looming month of exams, her outfit says she’s ready for whatever comes her way.

By the time March rolls around at Trinity College, most of us have settled into a predictable routine, consisting mostly of class and endless readings. After three months of the same, it can get a little maddening; with only a few weeks left in the school year, we begin to crave a little variation. Friend of Trinity Alex Isaia’s look is a happy reminder that mixing and matching our sartorial choices can satisfy our need for something fresh.

Her outfit is a cohesive harmony of leather, lace, denim, and faux fur; seamlessly, she layers materials and blends genres in order

Zoe Smale

In the midst of chaotic university life, we can always take comfort in the calming and ordering power of a simple outfit. While it can be tempting to treat an outfit as a canvas waiting to be splashed with vibrant hues and complicated patterns, there is something sophisticated and timeless, beauti-

subjects. Combining rolled up boyfriend jeans and a vintage men’s watch with a loose military jacket and classic aviators, a new look is born: The Military Boyfriend. Her furry vest adds a warm, feminine touch to an outfit as cool as the Canadian winter.

ful and soothing about a solid palette of neutrals.

In her delicate stormy-blue shirt and classic dark blue skinny denim, Zoe Smale breathes life into the traditional neutral palette of browns and blacks by incorporating soft tones of versatile blue into her outfit. With this look, it’s all in the details; the tiny polka dots on her shirt punctuate

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her otherwise neutral outfit. She warms up her look with a pair of worn-in auburn brown riding boots, drawing our eyes to the tiny gold buttons on her shirt and cuffs—yet another subtle detail. The resulting look is both classic and modern, laidback and ready for spring.

The Salterrae • April 2013 Dear Future Tech Wizzzerd,

Duranswers The cat is out of the bag. Again.

This column is reserved for serious issues that encroach onto the well-being of Trinity’s illustrious hive mind. Your question is more suited to noted celebrity adviser Ask Jeeves. That being said ... the problem isn’t Chrome, it’s Google itself and you can just go into the search settings and click a box that makes them do that. I’m not sure if you can figure that out. My faith in humanity has never been lesser.

One of these days, Lucas “More useful than a rubber band” Durand

Most Exalted Truthseer (ET),

By: Lucas Durand Illustrations By: Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer

Dear Retrograde Amnesia,

Let’s face it kids, I am a wizened fella; my spurious adventures in the world have strongly correlated with the heightening of certain personal attributes, namely fantasticality and the faintest trace of jaundice. It is common knowledge that money makes the world go round and that I, LDizzle, make the money go round. Brap. Brap.

Shower me with your praise, and I will shower you with my sure-fire solution. Oh baby, it’s time for Duranswers!

Oh He who has Seen the Truth,

I woke up today in a haze. Where am I? Who am I? What happened last night? Help me!

You are my guiding light, Retrograde Amnesia

This is all very normal. In fact, you have written to me every day since the first day of your Frosh Week. My apologies for only getting back to you now, I’ve been too busy bolstering my CV with publications in reputable periodicals, like the Salterrae, to get back to you. Now, my prescience tells me that you woke up not only confused, but surrounded with greasy leftover Chinese takeout.

Don’t ask me how I know this, there isn’t time.

You are suffering from Trin Compounding Blackout Syndrome, or TCBS. You have been drinking every night since your arrival on these hallowed grounds and it has created a situation which perfectly parallels the movie Momento, except your leftover Chinese food takes the place of the photographs that the main character obsessively hoards.

All in all, this isn’t really an issue over which you have control, so enjoy the ride!

You are a better person for consulting me, Lucas “See the world in a grain of sand” Durand

Hey Lucas, I’ve been using Google Chrome for a few weeks now – great browsing experience. My only problem is that when I click links in google they open up into the same window instead of a new tab and like since Chrome is so much better when you use tabs, how can I make it just do tabs?

Thnx so much, Future Tech Wizzzerd

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Last night I had the strangest dream in my bed in Kirkwood. I felt a warmth radiating from St. Hilda’s, an inviting warmth, something I’ve never felt before. But with this warmth was a bad smell, a smell something like the smell of smouldering wood panelling. What could this dream mean?

The Sleeper Has Awakened, Night Visions

Dearest Night Visions, I have had this dream many times and each time it becomes more real. Soon it will be time.

Soon the signal fires will be lit. Soon, my child, soon we shall have our absolution.

The fire cleanses, Lucas “I swear this wasn’t planned” Durand

No G-Strings Attached

A commentary on the uncommitted generation

By: Helenaz Hajifattahi Illustrations By: Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer In what has been dubbed The One Issue to Rule Them All, I have been charged with the devilish task of delving into a field which often slips the minds of Trin Men and Women (and First Years). You special breed of Generation Y cohorts are too busy with topics of real significance, like avlcohol (policies), sticking it to (and severing ties with) the UTSU, and cuddling (re: Whit common room). All of this time and energy spent on politics and ‘puppy pens’ has left little time to explore the realm of philosophy on the Sanskrit Karma Sutra pertaining to, or extensive registry of SEC supplies relevant to, the act/art/arousal of sex & sexuality.

Alas, my time with you is limited, and considering that the lovely Froshlings survived toga party and (somehow) Wild Vines without my help, I

The Salterrae • Miscellaneous sense that they are too sage to be bothered with cliché, cosmo-esque advice. So let us visit a more serious, recent fascination of the sociological field all too familiar to most of us... the FWB dynamic: Friends With Benefits.

There was once a time where clear lines existed between sexual relationships and platonic ones.

Today these lines blur more than ever. The new dynamic purports to work like this: pick a friend, add some deeds under the sheets and scrap the commitment. It sounds enticing enough, and university dwellers seem to agree.

Match.com, the world’s largest dating website, reported a doubling of such relationships from 2012 - 2013 among young adults. Indeed, even the American Psychological Association’s February newsletter highlighted a study on the nature and effects of the “Sexual Hook-up Culture,” which is seemingly replacing the norm of monogamous college relationships.

So what are we to make of such friendships?

The media subtly suggests that these relationships work, providing both the emotional and physical stimulation we need while preserving the rule of “no strings attached.” Hollywood flicks present us with ridiculously good-looking friends who casually start having sex and then, rather effortlessly, transition into long-term relationships.

Having watched Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached, a simple message resonated in my mind: friendships that lead to sex can also lead to budding romances.

Real life experiences paint a picture more bleak. Online surveys generally show that within the FWB dynamic, sexual satisfaction is lower despite more frequent sexual activity. Overall communication levels are on the decline despite ample means of connectivity. Both men and women are left wanting something more.

Call me old fashioned, but that “something more” sounds like romance. Ultimately, sex devoid of passion will become monotonous, but love is unique in its insatiability. Perhaps we will always be left wanting more.

Balzac’s

HIP SIPS

By Sofia Reive

ILLUSTRATIONS BY: GUY TAYLOR

In 1996, Diana Olsen opened her first Balzac’s café in Stratford. Today, there are seven across Ontario and four in Toronto. Her simple philosophy has driven her success: “to serve an exceptional product in a beautiful environment.” In a city saturated with independent coffee shops, this sets her apart. My usual favourites have become uniform: hardwood floors, salvaged tables, random art on the walls and knick-knacks about the room. The coffee is good, but the imported roast is never fresh.

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Balzac’s surpasses them all in product and décor. Olsen’s shops are distinctly Canadian. Products are locally sourced and the coffee roasted in Stoney Creek, Ontario. (They recently released the “the Atwood blend”.) Staple drinks feature a perfectly pulled espresso and a killer macchiato; they also have a seasonal menu, which includes a maple syrup latte. I normally steer clear of artificially flavoured drinks, but at Balzac’s, they’re stellar.

Each coffeeshop integrates with its neighbourhood; no two are quite alike. I first visited the Distillery District location, which benefits from its surroundings. For me, the Kitchener location has a hometown advantage. Most recently, however, I’ve found myself returning to Liberty Village.

In this area, neglected by the downtown crowd, Olsen has set up shop on a discreet corner. The place is inventive and elegant: tiled floors, wicker chairs, high ceilings and understated lights.

A poster series celebrates the neighbourhood where each Balzac’s lives. For Liberty Village, a caped woman holding aloft the torch of espresso proclaims, “life, liberty and the pursuit of great coffee”. (Less cheasy than it sounds!) Particularly striking is the warmth of the staff. They know what they’re doing, but spare you the coffee snob attitude.

Olsen has a gift for picking great spots. If you’re reluctant to visit a far flung café, the Toronto Reference Library hosts a Balzac’s just a short walk from Trinity. And this fall, Olsen finally opened a Ryerson location in the Image Arts building. Go tomorrow morning – it will improve your entire week.

Salterrae • April 2013

What shall I do today?

The cultural goings-on about town By: Simone Garcia

ARTS & LITERATURE What: Please Believe These Days Will Pass British artist Mark Titchner’s language-based wall paintings and banners demonstrate how text and bold statements can be used to inspire people, communicate to the masses and bring together communities.

Where: The Art Gallery of Ontario, 317 Dundas St. West.

When: Until April 21.

Cost: $11. Free on Wednesday nights from 6 8:30 pm.

What: Human Rights, Human Wrongs

One of the Ryerson Image Centre’s current exhibitions on human rights, this show focuses on photographs of people involved in political turmoil and violence, specifically during the Rwandan Genocide of 1994.

Where: Ryerson Image Center, 33 Gould Street Toronto, Ontario M5B 1X8 When: Until April 13.

Cost: Free for students.

What: Patti Smith: Camera Solo

The Godmother of Punk has recently turned to the visual arts, and the AGO is exhibiting her first collection of photography, film and object art.

Where: The Art Gallery of Ontario, 317 Dundas St. West.

When: Until May 19.

Cost: $11. Free on Wednesday nights from 6 8:30 pm.

What: All that Sparkles

An exhibition of works by emerging Toronto artist Sam Mogelonsky. Primarily a sculptor and installation artist, Mogelonsky uses fun and playful imagery, when combined to create deeper stories and messages. Her works in All That Sparkles are designed to at first appear as innocent dazzling objects, but with closer examination are revealed to contain darker elements.

Where: The Red Head Gallery, 401 Richmond St. West.

When: Until April 20.

Cost: Free.

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What: Images Festival

Bringing the best in local, national and international media art to Toronto, with film and video programs, installation art, live performances, artist talks and more.

Where: Various locations and art galleries in Toronto.

When: April 11 – April 20.

Cost: Dependant on location, $10 – 20.

What: David Sedaris

Known for his wickedly sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek humour, author David Sedaris (whose works include Me Talk Pretty One Day, When You Are Engulfed in Flames) is coming to speak about his life, and the many moments in it which have inspired him in his writing.

Where: Sony Centre for the Performing Arts, 1 Front St. When: April 12, 7:30 pm.

Cost: $82 – 167.

Salteraae • Events What: Get Crafty and ThursTeas A series of weekly drop-in craft workshops and afternoon tea and cookies. Learn simple skills from different crafts and come away with a finished project. workshops are offered over the lunch hour. Instruction, tea and cookies, and all of the materials will be provided in a comfortable, informal drop-in environment.

Where: Reading Room, Hart House, 7 Hart House Circle.

When: Every Thursday from 11 – 1.

Cost: Free! Tea and cookies are provided.

MUSIC & THEATRE What: Everyone’s a DJ

The title is quite self-explanatory, but for those who need clarification: this event allows all those wishing to dabble in the field of disc-jockeying to take a turn for half an hour sets each. Get your musical juices flowing, and prepare to be discovered. Who knows? You could be the next DJ AM. Where: Disgraceland, 965 Bloor St. West.

When: Every second Saturday night, 9pm.

Cost: Free, but sign up beforehand on “Everyone’s a DJ” on Facebook for the event page.

What: The Wizard of Oz

Find your way to Oz along the yellow brick road, accompanied by the Dorothy Canadians voted for on a television competition this past October. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s production takes the all-time classic and reinvents it for the stage, with characters and songs from the original film.

Where: The Ed Mirvish Theater, 244 Victoria St. When: Until June 2.

Cost: $35-$175.

What: Alicia Keys

Grammy-winning songstress Alicia Keys makes a stop in Toronto for her Set the World on Fire tour. For her North American dates, Keys is joined by R&B singer Miguel.

Where: Air Canada Center, 40 Bay St. When: April 2.

Cost: $40.50 – 126.

What: Cinéfranco

The goal of this festival is to celebrate and promote the diversity and richness of French language cinema for the film lovers of Toronto. This year’s fest includes a mixture of shorts, documentaries and features.

Where: TIFF Bell Lightbox, When: April 5- 14.

Cost: $10 for students

SPORTS What: Toronto Raptors vs. Chicago Bulls Where: Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St. When: April 12.

Cost: $15 +.

What: Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Montreal Canadiens Where: Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St. When: April 13.

Cost: $70+.

What: Toronto Blue Jays vs. Boston Red Sox Where: Rogers Centre, 1 Blue Jays Way. When: April 7.

Cost: starting at $16+.

CULTURE What: Canadian International Comedy Fest Give your abs a serious workout. Renowned stand-up comedians Steve Patterson and the Cool Chicks of Comedy (among others) are sure to have you in stitches. [Note: Individual tickets to the Comedy Fest are available on a first come, first serve basis.]

Where: Various locations across the city – Absolute Comedy, Yuk Yuks, Second City, etc.

When: March 19 – 24.

Cost: Starting at $20, varies depending on venue and event.

What: The Good Food and Drink Festival The Good Food & Drink Festival is back this year.

Now in its twenty-first year, the festival showcases a wide spectrum of products exhibited by more than one hundred vendors.

Where: Direct Energy Centre, 100 Princes’ Blvd.

When: April 5 – 7.

Cost: $11 – 14.

What: Get Crafty and ThursTeas A series of weekly drop-in craft workshops and afternoon tea and cookies. Learn simple skills from different crafts and come away with a finished project. workshops are offered over the lunch hour. Instruction, tea and cookies, and all of the materials will be provided in a comfortable, informal drop-in environment.

Where: Reading Room, Hart House, 7 Hart House Circle.

When: Every Thursday from 11 – 1.

Cost: Free! Tea and cookies are provided.

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What: Get Crafty and ThursTeas A series of weekly drop-in craft workshops and afternoon tea and cookies. Learn simple skills from different crafts and come away with a finished project. workshops are offered over the lunch hour. Instruction, tea and cookies, and all of the materials will be provided in a comfortable, informal drop-in environment.

Where: Reading Room, Hart House, 7 Hart House Circle.

When: Every Thursday from 11 – 1.

Cost: Free! Tea and cookies are provided.

What: ROM Prom Join hundreds of Young Patrons Circle (YPC) members and guests for a contemporary party inspired by past civilizations. Hosted by MTV’s Aliya-Jasmine Sovani and CP24’s Gurdeep Ahluwalia, Ancient PROM will be an unforgettable night of live entertainment and dancing, luxurious lounge areas and gourmet fare in support of the ROM. Come to see, mingle, and be seen.

Where: The Royal Ontario Museum, 100 Queen’s Park.

When: April 6, starts at 9pm.

Cost: $150 – a little on the expensive side, but very, very worth it.

What: Queen West Gallery Tour Every week Drake’s art concierge Betty Ann Jordan explores the galleries and project spaces along the Queen West strip with an eye out for the best of the best. Whether you are an art aficionado or culturally curious, Betty Ann is sure to show you something a little unexpected.

Where: Meet in the lobby of the Drake Hotel to start the tour, 1150 Queen St. W. When: April 6, 11:45 a.m.

Cost: $25 per person or $45 for two.

What: Biscuit Battle Come out for the Drake’s Biscuit Battle to taste a baker’s dozen of flaky goodness. You be the judge as you gobble up all the entries, Gilead Cafe, Barque Smokehouse, the Stockyards + more. Anything goes, from baking powder biscuits + drop biscuits to the famed angel biscuits of the deep South. Don’t eat them plain; make sure to doctor them up with an array of butters from the Drake’s Butter Bar. Where: The Drake Hotel, 1150 Queen St. W. When: April 15.

Cost: Free!

The Salterrae • April 2013

High Table, Low Turnout.

Why students don’t want to mix gowns with gravy By: Anya Broytman Photography: Donald Belflon

E

very Wednesday night at 6:30 pm, a stampede of tired, pajama-clad Trin students begrudgingly vacate Strachan Hall after regular dinner, herded out as a trickle of enthusiasts arrive for High Table. The weekly tradition, which used to be at the heart of Trinity culture, appears to be in decline, usually attracting no more than a handful of people.

“I think it’s the hassle of dressing up and changing into your gown,” says a first-year Trin student. “It takes a lot of effort to look nice. Also, we get a set meal instead of choosing our own food – and I don’t like gravy.” Evidently, many students share her view.

Those who do come, however, truly enjoy the solemnity of High Table Dinner. “I like the ritual of it,” says Iris Robin. “It is a tradition, a social event. Besides, I take pleasure in showing off my... sash,” she notes, gesturing toward her pouredout gown.

High Tables were not always the preserve of a dozen students particularly dedicated to Trinity culture. “Back when the residences were segregated, Strachan Hall would overflow every Wednesday evening because it used to be a rare opportunity for guys and St. Hildians to meet,” explains Paddy Treacy, a fourth-year student and a go-to expert on Trinity’s history. “Even when I first got here, there were always many people at formal dinners. Now it is a rarity to see a table of upper-years.”

Low attendance can hardly be blamed on a lack of interest in the college’s social life.

People spend hours in line hoping to secure seats for Strachan Hall’s Christmas dinner, and this year’s

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Salterrae • April 2013 Conversat tickets sold out in the blink of an eye. It appears that High Tables are simply less advertised and have become a routine rather than an exciting event. It is within our power to change

ELIZABETH

ABBOTT

COMES

“It is a rarity to see a table of upper-years”

BACK TRIN

- Paddy Treacy

that: “If more people came, every Wednesday Dinner could be like Thanksgiving Dinner or Christmas Dinner! We could sing and do all the Trinity cheers... It would be a blast!” says Paddy.

So what can be done to boost student interest? While Paddy has proposed the extreme measure of resegregating the residences (“Sure,” resentful female voices cut in, “but this time you guys will go to St. Hilda’s!”), Dean Steels believes that there are easier solutions.

“Perhaps we should make High Table Dinners less frequent, becoming more of a genuine event that students are excited about,” he suggests. “We could invite alumni and people from the Board of Trustees, maybe get a guest speaker. We could also invest in fancy desserts and some really nice cheese for each table; people would love a special meal!” Perhaps going easy on the gravy would also help.

Tempting as these plans sound, the initiative needs to come from the students. “We are open to working with the student leadership

“We could invest in fancy desserts and some really nice cheese!”

- Dean Steels

on a clear plan to beef these dinners up,” says Dean Steels. “They are a lovely tradition that distinguishes Trinity, and a social event where great conversations can happen.’”

As Trinity students, we have unique opportunities – and four years of time. Wherever life takes us after graduation, it is unlikely to have the magnificent stained glass windows of Strachan Hall. Before you know it, you might find yourself feeding your nostalgia on Harry Potter movies. So let us sport while we may and wear gowns to dinner. It is up to us to keep the Trinity culture alive.

TCVS Annual Fundraiser Emphasizes Education By: Larissa Parker

Photography: Donald Belflon Elizabeth Abbott is a writer that is perhaps best known at Trinity as St. Hilda’s last Dean of Women. On March 6th, Mrs. Abbott returned to Trinity to speak about a nursing scholarship at the University of Notre Dame in Jacmel, Haiti, which she administers in conjunction with the university’s dean. This event was organized by the Trinity College Volunteer Society (TCVS) under the dedicated leadership of this year’s president Vahini Sathiamoorthy.

Abbott became a polarizing figure in Haiti following the release of her book, Haiti: A Shattered Nation, in which she exposed alleged corruption in the Haitian government. The book has made her a target of hatred for many Haitian officials, putting her in danger whenever she returns to the country.

Introducing Abbott’s informative discussion, Nicola Bruce spoke about her experiences teaching English with ‘Operation Groundswell,’ while Thomas Slabon talked about his time helping children who were suffering from mental disabilities with ‘L’Arche.’ Thomas and Nicola described the Haitian communities as “dedicated and extremely passionate about learning and education.” Thomas continued the introduction by reading letters from potential scholarship recipients.

“Without scholarship programs like those of Mrs. Abbott, most students would never have a chance at higher education” “During the earthquake, all of our hospitals were damaged or destroyed and thus the people had trouble getting good quality care,” described one applicant, Martine Dominique. She went on to explain that the earthquake inspired her to

9

become a qualified nurse. Altagrace Marie Andrée Rousseau, another applicant, wrote that she was convinced that “happiness lay in helping people,” particularly in a nation so affected by natural catastrophe.

It is heartbreaking to note that more than half of students in developing nations like Haiti struggle to pay for education. It is even more shocking that the average salary for a doctor in Haiti is only about $500 per month. At the same time, tuition for universities costs thousands. Without scholarship programs like the one Abbott supports at Notre Dame, most students would never have a chance at higher education. For these reasons, the TCVS hopes to make a donation of $1,000 to the scholarship this year.

There is a lot of work to be done.

More facilities for students in Haiti must be built.

Unfortunately, there are insufficient resources. All of the small steps count when restoring a nation to what it was before disaster, so remember: no donation is too small, and help is needed!

Salterrae • April 2013

Trin Personalities A Conversation with Assitant Dean Adam Hogan by: melissa beauregard photography by: donald belfon

H

aving someone new enter the

Trinity bubble is rare, exciting, and dangerous. These newcomers aren’t used to us, and there is always the possibility that they will end up speed walking away from the college, mumbling

about crazy people, attacking hamsters, and lighting effigies on fire. Luckily, though, our new Assistant Dean Adam Hogan assimilated well. The two of us met up for a chat in the Buttery, and Adam brought two cans of his favorite soda Cranberry

12

Ginger Ale (currently out of season). It was the sweetest non-alcoholic beverage I have ever tasted. Apart from the demerit points I will inevitably receive from the horribly inappropriate title of this article, it was an overall delightful experience.

Melissa Beauregard • Trin Personalities

Melissa: How many students have you killed?

Adam: Well… directly or indirectly? Because, like, sometimes I put, like, plans in motion and I don’t know if a student slips through.

EVERYTHING is different here

M: Where are you from?

A: I was born in Thunder Bay and lived there for 4 years. Then I grew up in a town called Stirling, which is right outside of Belleville.

M: And you were the second baby born in Thunder Bay, from what I hear?

A: The second baby born in Thunder Bay in 1984. Not ever. Thunder Bay is older than I am.

M: You didn’t get any sort of award?

A: No, only the first baby born really gets cool free stuff. So I’ve kind of been letting my parents down since day one.

M: What is the weirdest tradition you have encountered since you came to Trinity?

A: Oh wow. I think at some point I stopped thinking they were weird and starting thinking they were normal. I think the day I woke up and saw the two first year heads sleeping in the quad, I was just sort of like, ‘Ok, that’s a thing that happens here.’

M: What are some of the biggest differences between your old job and this one?

A: EVERYTHING is different here. One of the things I was really looking forward to with this

job was how much student involvement there is.

I was looking forward to coming here and thinking ‘oh now I can actually do things for students,’ and then when I got here it was like, ‘Oh students already do everything for themselves.’

M: So do you think students here take on too much?

A: I think it could be an individualized problem and maybe some people take on too much, but as a community I think it works really well.

M: Can you tell me the story behind your beard?

Does it have it’s own character? How did it evolve?

A: It evolved pretty organically, just how all facial hair does. I tried it once and then I saw a picture of myself and was just like, ‘you know, that is not the kind of person who I want to be.” So then I started shaving and taking care of myself and respecting myself, but it just kept coming back. Do I think it’s perfect? No. But does it suit me? Yes. M: Do you have any tattoos?

A: Not yet, but I will soon.

M: Like Chumbawumba?

A: Hahaha. No. It basically is like a type of music that just identifies with non drinkers and nondrug users, and staying clean and healthy, that sort of thing.

M: If you don’t mind me asking a personal question, drinking isn’t something that you partake in, right?

A: Yup that’s true. I’ve never been drunk in my life, but I remember in highschool going to like parties and having some beer, but that’s about it.

That was something that people in Stirling got into at a really young age. When I moved, I had already sort of seen that and it just kind of lost its appeal to me.

M: So it’s more of just a personal lifestyle choice, and not something related to anything specific like religion?

A: Yup, completely. But it’s also not something that I think differently of others because of it. My friends are all along the spectrum of things you can do, and I’m basically the only one who has made that choice.

M: What would it be?

I think like, YOLO on one set of knuckles and PMA! On the other. You know, Positive Mental Attitude!

M: …

A: No, kidding. Probably a Tasmanian devil.

M: What was it like coming into such a close-knit community?

A: Here, I really find it interesting that everyone seems to be on a friendly level with another. For example, students just walk up to Andy [Orchard], call him ‘Andy,’ and he’s cool with them and it feels like everyone is on the same level. It was an adjustment I was happy to make.

M: …

The day I saw the two first year heads sleeping in the quad, I was just sort of like, ‘ok, that’s a thing’

A: No, kidding, I’m so glad they don’t let kids get tattoos. I would probably get a compass, for a variety of different reasons.

M: Would you rather have hair that turns into jello as it grows or fingernails that have barnacles all over them?

M: Tattoos are sweet.

A: Fingernails with barnacles.

A: Yeah, I mean if you think about it for a while, then that’s good. If I got a tattoo in high school it would probably be like all Straight Edge lyrics.

M: Would you rather have a private hot air balloon, or a dolphin who would take you on rides in the ocean every few months?

M: What is Straight Edge?

A: Dolphin.

A: It’s like a punk and hardcore scene from the 80s that basically developed into a specific music scene that promotes a positive clean lifestyle.

M: Would you rather be on the Bachelorette and get second place, or always try the wrong key first?

A: Wrong key first.

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The Salterrae • April 2013

Al Caponversat By: Kate Motluk Photos By: Donald Belfon On the evening of February 9th, the tones of muted trombones and frantic saxophones echoed down the halls of Trinitvy College. The smell of dance-induced sweat, Cora’s pizza, and cranberry cocktails were pleasant accompaniments. Inside Strachan Hall, the full wave of Metro Big Band’s ebullient sound met party-goers. In this way, Conversat 2013 officially came into swing.

Chaired by Thomas Slabon and Alexandra

Sundarsingh, ‘Al Caponeversat’ was all about the roaring twenties. Strachan was transformed into a Gatsby-esque millionaire’s home. The all-white scheme felt more Clayton than Luhrman, with a clean simplicity that still managed to capture a sense of 1920s indulgence. Chandeliers, confetti, and champagne were the ethos of the evening.

The mastermind behind these decorations was second-year Maddie Taylor, with considerable

help from Trinity’s resident events-guru, Calvin Mitchell. The bar was the site of gleaming stacked glassware and a large, low-hanging chandelier. A 1920s New York skyline adorned the balcony, and trees with strings of silver crystals framed the entrance. For the second year in a row, Trinity’s social calendar has resulted in the ruthless pillaging of Kirkwood Meadows, whose bushes allowed for the creation of these lavish glitter-trees.

Party like it’s 1929 (prohibition prohibited)

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The Salterrae • Conversat

“Champagne seemed to be the ethos of the evening”

The JCR was slow the whole night, a testament to the success of the band and DJ Bernie Wexler, who kept most people on the dance floor.

The JCR offered the standard photo station, with a few era appropriate props, clapperboards and glitter top hats among them.

While ultimately a success, the event had its share of setbacks. A mere two and a half days into ticket sales, the event was sold out. Facebook

and Twitter saw many students express their disappointment, feeling there was not adequate advertising for non-resident students, or sufficient effort to notify people as the number of available spots ran out. Fourth years and other graduating students were particularly distressed.

“At first we were excited!” Slabon noted. “We had just sold out the event. But then we realized how many people were not going to be able to

go.”

Slabon commented that a number of ideas were thrown around, including opening Seeley Hall . Finally, they decided on using the Divinity Common Room. Opening up the additional space allowed for this year’s Conversat to be one of the largest in history.

The weekend of the event was not about to make it any easier on the executive. On Friday

“One of the largest in history”

15

The Salterrae • Conversat

“This is the kind of thing people look back on as one of the best nights of their undergraduate life.” morning Trinity and the rest of Toronto awoke to a major snowstorm, severe enough to result in the 3:00pm closure of the St. George campus.

Sundarsingh explained, “We had a glitter cannon coming in from Etobicoke, with our car stuck in Mississauga. We were freaking out. So much was left to be done.”

The night of Conversat offered some challenges as well, with drink ticket sales running out of

change on three separate occasions. Due to the high volume of tickets sold, capacity was also a constant concern.

Early on Sunday morning, once everyone had made their way home from the party, Slabon took a moment to change into his onesie before heading back for the rest of clean up.

“I thought - what did I just do, spend months planning what boiled down to four drunken

16

hours?,” he explained. “But I realized this is the kind of thing people look back on and remember as one of the best nights of their undergraduate life. [To plan] it was a privilege.”

The Salterrae • Alumni

Brunch

A good way to keep up with old friends BY: TRINITY COLLEGE ALUMNUS EVAN HUTCHISON ILLUSTRATIONS BY MARK HARRIS Brunch is a good way to keep up with old friends.

Once you are a graduate and subject to the pressure to adulterate your Kahlua with coffee, you will find your opportunities to drink wine from boxes on weeknights and listen to Swollen Members with your friends have been somewhat circumscribed. You will find that the aforementioned, when it does occur, does not do so spontaneously. You will find that your friends have substituted coffee for Kahlua wholesale, and have begun to find your failure to emulate them somewhat disconcerting, as they begin to speculate that Kahlua, drunk in the quantities you prefer, is indicative of a degree of social maladjustment. You may find that Kahlua has made you fat, and that the White Russians you habitually consume are aggravating an incipient lactose intolerance.

Brunch is the solution to all of those problems, excepting alcoholism. It will be necessary to address your alcoholism in your early thirties, if you are a woman who intends to have children in her early thirties and are made uncomfortable by the certainty that your children will be afflicted by f etal alcohol syndrome. Otherwise, that confrontation with your fundamental insufficiency

can be postponed until your liver begins to occupy too much space in your body cavity for your other organs to function effectively.

I have brunch biweekly. I invite friends from college, whom I might otherwise have no opportunity to meet and socialize with. I would have brunch more often, but brunch is an expensive proposition.

The good news is you have a job. With that job comes an income adequate to supplying yourself biweekly with large volumes of down-market sparkling wine, which is an essential ingredient in brunch.

It should be emphasized, before we proceed, that the brunch I’m proposing is no twee, lavender liqueur and petit fours business. This brunch means business. It consists of champagne, orange juice, bacon, French toast, eggs in unfeasibly large quantities, and inedible vegan waffles.

Hereafter, a list of frequently asked questions (a FAQ list) about brunch: Q. On what day of the week should I schedule my brunch?

A. On Saturdays. If you are fit to work on the day after your brunch, you didn’t have brunch, you had breakfast in the afternoon.

17

Q. Can I have marijuana at my brunch?

A. If you want to. That’s not my speed. My speed is 6-18 mimosas consumed at high velocity.

Q. How long should my brunch last?

A. Between 6 and 12 hours, or until you and your guest have sung along to both of Barrett’s Privateers and Northwest Passage.

Q. How does one distinguish between alcoholic and boozy intellectuals?

A. Brunch.

Brunch is not merely “A Good Way to Keep Up with Old Friends”. It is also an opportunity for the kind of masturbatory erudition of which your coworkers are intolerant. Below, a list of conversational topics suitable for brunch, derived from my experience: 1. Circle jerks, their exclusionary effect on the left-handed; 2. Entry level pepper jelly, artisanal pepper jelly, their respective merits and social significance; 3. Diana Ross, the Supremes, the perfidiousness of the former, her traitorousness to the latter; 4. MDMA, spinach allergy, and its relation thereto.

My name is Evan Hutchison (BA [Hons.]). I am having brunch right now.

The Salterrae • April 2013

Bartholomew St. James and The Good Doctor • Wallball

Fear and loathing under henderson tower A Savage Journey into the Heart of Wallball By: Bartholomew St. James and his associate, the Good Doctor Photography: Donald Belfon 18

19

The Salterrae • April 2013 The task was simple. Myself and my associate, the Good Doctor, had to cover a game of the world’s most blistering, high intensity, high ‘in tent city’, literal balls-to-the-wall sport ever con-

have come to this ungodly newspaper in the hopes of creating something, anything, many things, in a vein unfamiliar to the slack-jawed troglodytes surrounding us. We return to the story.

There was madness in every direction ceived by the gods (and humbly played by men): Wallball. It would be tough. It would not be fun.

It would be down, dirty, and otherwise occupied with the hotel maid. We would have to prepare in the only way we knew how – drug use.

At this point we are: a pack of American Marlboros and several joints deep.

My God. Did I write that? Or did I just think it? The power of the omniscient narrator overcomes me. The Good Doctor and I, high off of power and our own madness,

Back and forth goes the damp ridden tennis ball

At this point the Good Doctor and I are: three pitchers, multiple Djarum specials, and a roach D.B. found, deep.

The ice cold wallball rattles against our fingers, startling us, enticing us. We see the ice of our breath, juxtaposed with the warm brick surface of Henderson Tower. Aptly named, given its soulful connection to the Henderson clan, a raving band of marauding ballers, who savagely fought against the Canadian Cold.

Back and forth goes the damp ridden tennis ball, transformed from an ignoble green sphere of meaningless fabrication into an object of pure angst, glory, misery, and happiness. This dear sport brings out all the demons in its reverent players. We serve and play, round after round and game after game, slowly merging into the timeless vortex of sweet drunken dance. Regular time and space have no meaning in this embrace of passion, love and hate intertwined together, solidified into an all-encompassing pillar of emotion.

The subtle, yet hard-hitting smacks of the ball against the brickwork suck in the player like the mason’s siren, calling the destined and true to Henderson’s hallowed walls. Perhaps it’s the drinks and the drugs, but this swirling kaleidoscope of colour, movement, and grace (albeit under the influence) brings out the true character in its players, and the few brave souls who expose themselves to the intoxicating layers of this beautiful game, bare their all, show their true selves to the world, and revel in the glory that accompanies a victory.

What strange memories on this Trinity wallball court. Has it been five years? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again, a time and place to be a part of...that small corner of time, that small corner of the world. There was madness in every direction; in any hour, you could strike sparks anywhere. There was a universal sense that anyone could win out against the dark, with all that momentum, riding the crest of their own high, glistening wave of power and victory. But with every wave riding high comes a breaking point, where all that you had ever known comes crashing down, beaten against the current.

Destroyed. Yet if you walk under a certain Henderson Tower, you can see the high waterline; you can see where that wave crashed and always broke.

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The Salterrae • April 2013

To Rush Not to Rush? or

The Equity Issues with Trin Traditions By; Gemma Stanton-Hagan Illustrations By; Anton Ermakov

Tension between tradition and what might broadly be called “progress” is a common theme at Trinity College. It is seen everywhere from the Lit, where students regularly squabble over whether academic gowns should be mandatory, to High Table, where college chaplain Andrea Budgey is commissioning a more religiously inclusive Latin grace.

Two examples of this tension are the dialogues which in recent years have surrounded the Saints and Conversat rushes. Traditionally, students separate by gender before every formal, and the rushers (girls for Saints, boys for Conversat) run at their prospective dates.

To be sure, the rushes are fun; they provide students with a link to the college’s history and a feeling of continuity with tradition. In recent years however, there have been concerns that the event’s structure excludes queer students and those who may not identify as male or female.

Those who support the gender-divided rush

“Non-heterosexual couples are discouraged from participating”

certainly don’t intend to exclude. The assumption is that these events do not impact queer students negatively, or perhaps that the preservation of these traditions is more important than the risk of making anyone feel unwelcome.

Third-year student Patrick Harris holds this position: “I don’t think any member of Trinity would ever object to a person standing on a different side of the room than they’re ‘supposed to,’ not only because most of us know it’s just a suggestion to keep the night moving smoothly, but also because that kind of prejudiced behavior is simply not tolerated at the college.”

This is certainly correct. There may be a tendency, however, to assume that because Trinity does not explicitly discriminate, we don’t need to work harder to make the college a welcoming place for everyone.

The traditional rush structure is tantamount to requiring students to choose who is “the man” and who is “the woman” if they wish to participate.

Non-cisgendered or non-heterosexual couples are thus discouraged from participating if they don’t map their identities with prescribed roles.

In an effort to be more inclusive, the 2012 Saints executive designated “rushers” and “rushees” instead of assigning gender to these categories. At

21

the 2012 Conversat rush, students did not move to different sides of the room, but instead rushed their dates on a musical cue, “Yellow Submarine.”

Both these adjustments worked relatively smoothly, and the gains in inclusivity far outweighed the losses to convenience. Future organizers should continue to work towards a more inclusive rush format.

This year’s 1920s-themed Conversat kept the traditional gendered rush structure. The humorous Facebook event description included a nominal attempt at inclusivity: “We’re not actually in the 1920’s, so you can rush whoever you want, regardless of their sex, gender, height, shoe size, favorite ice cream flavor, or ability to quote Pulp Fiction.”

I found issue with this comment: in addition to trivializing gender and sexuality by comparing them to things like shoe size, it relied on the assumption that simply telling queer people that

“The gains in inclusivity far outweigh the losses to convenience”

they are included is equivalent to truly including them.

Third-year student Alice Stanton-Hagan agrees that the traditional rush format is problematic: “As a queer person, I find the Saints and Conversat rushes to be incredibly alienating.”

“While I don’t feel that anyone would react negatively to the idea of me rushing a girl or that the organizers of the rush are personally homophobic,” she continued, “the event is structured without consideration towards queers and has no place at a college that prides itself on being inclusive and enlightened. For same-sex couples and individuals who identify outside of the gender binary, it forces us to fit into a system into which we don’t belong.”

While Trinity College’s traditions are a big part of the college’s spirit, they should be changed when they negatively impact students – especially students who are already marginalized. There are ways to make the rushes more fun and inclusive, but first we must acknowledge the damage that can be done by traditional gender assumptions. If we can handle Sodexo’s hideous kitchen extension on Trinity proper, we can accept a positive progression from gender-segregated rushes towards a more inclusive format.

“It forces us to fit into a system into which

we don’t belong”

The Salterrae • April 2013

Debunking Defederation Are your student fees going down the UT-Sewer?

By; Hayden Rodenkirchen

Trinity College has many traditions, from gowns to the Lit and disassociated chess clubs. A newer tradition, however, has garnered particular attention in recent months: political strife between Trinity College and the University of Toronto Student’s Union (UTSU).

After years of clash over issues like election reform and advocacy, the TCM recently moved to hold a referendum on continued membership in the Central Student Union. As the Salterrae went to press, results were still forthcoming.

Whichever way the voting goes, the issue provides a unique opportunity to examine Trinity College’s financial relationship with the UTSU, as well as consider the financial implications of the student body’s decision.

Under the status-quo, full-time Trinity College students pay a levy of $319.26/ year directly to the University of Toronto Students Union. For part-time students, this number drops to $185.10.

With 1717 full time undergraduate students, 148 part time students, and 20 full-time divinity students, this means Trinity College’s annual contribution to the central union, and requested clawback, according to estimates from the bursar’s office, rounds out at $581,949.42 .

Full time Part time (1717 x $319.26) + (148 x $185.10) = $575,564.22 Of this levy, $238.50 per full time student goes toward paying medical and dental insurance fees, for a total medical expense of $409,504.50.

Given this expenditure, Trinity College’s overall contribution to the operating budget of the UTSU is $166,059.72, or just over 10% of the $1,659,220 projected to be spent by the UTSU this year, according to the preliminary 2012-2013 budget.

According to the UTSU 2012-13 preliminary operating budget, 58% of UTSUs expenditures this year will have been spent on salaries, wages, and benefits. Holding this figure constant, the TCM can expect that $96,314.63 of its levy, if allocated to the UTSU, will be spent in this way, while the remaining $69,745.15 would fund discretionary expenditures of the University of Toronto Student’s Union, including clubs and other programs.

But what about in the case of defederation?

The TCM “Advisory Report on the Proposed UTSU Referendum: Feasibility, Consequences, and Procedural Issues” concludes that the TCM could provide medical and dental insurance, in a worst case scenario, at equal costs to the College’s current pay-in. Furthermore, while the UTSU plans to spend $140,000 this year on the administration of the current health/dental plan for U of

e-mail if the UTSU was prepared to take legal action in the case of clear support within Trinity College for defederation, along with approval by the University Affairs Board, he replied: “...The UTSU is not a federation, and as such the TCM has no jurisdiction in initiating referenda through its own bylaws and policies....The TCM has not followed the UTSU bylaws [with respect to the issue of defederation]... a letter was sent to Head of College Samuel Greene informing him the TCM referenda concerning UTSU membership is of no effect. Mr. Greene was reminded that the UTSU Board of Directors is the sole body empowered to initiate, authorize, or reject referenda concerning UTSU membership.”

The Student Capital Campaign Committee (SCCC) has recently authorized the release of $7500 as a preliminary legal contingency fund.

Whether it will be needed, or to what extent, remains to be seen.

If a clawback were authorized and Trinity College reclaimed $575,564 from the UTSU, costs might be estimated as follows: With status quo dollar values going towards medical plans ($409,504.50), an additional $20,000 going towards their administration, $7500 going to legal fees, and, in an incredibly extreme case, $20,000 going to an external Audit, the TCM would be left with $118,559 for discretionary spending, or around $50,000 more than the amount of Trinity’s Levy currently used towards discretionary spending under UTSU’s model.

T’s 45,000 students, administration of a plan of 5,000 students is estimated at 0.25 FTE (full time equivalent) staff, again, according to the TCM report. To be liberal, the cost of such administration could be estimated at $20,000.

According to TCM auditor Abby Vaidyanathan (V) , it is “possible that external auditing will be necessary [in the case of defederation] to ensure financial accountability, but only if the university itself imposed that restriction upon the TCM.” This was confirmed by the bursar’s office.

Accounting firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers is currently responsible for the external audit of Trinity College’s finances, which does not unpack TCM expenditures. Instead, these are handled by de facto in house audits run by the bursar’s office.

A rough estimate from the Bursar indicated that external auditing of these new funds could cost anywhere from $5 -$20,000.

It seems unlikely, however, that the university would impose such restrictions. College leaders such as Sam Greene believe that, contingent upon ongoing negotiations, reclaimed fees and future levies will not flow through the University of Toronto, but rather through the University of Trinity College, exclusively. This would effectively prevent the university’s bylaws from exerting influence over TCM finances, which would instead follow Trinity College financial policy and remain internally audited, as under the status quo.

Legal fees are another expense that must be taken into account. While Shaun Shepard $69,745.15 discretionary indicated in an interview with the Salterrae that he has no intentions of pursuing legal action in the case of a Trinity College referendum on UTSU membership, $96,314.63 administrative VP Internal Corey Scott was less clear. $409,504.50 medical When asked via

$123,559

discretionary

$47,000 administrative

Trin Levy Spending under current model

$409,504.50 medical

Estimates of Trin levy spending under proposed model 22

Salterrae • April 2013

UTSU: So Hot Right Now

Shaun Shepherd shoots the shit with the Salterrae By: Emily Jennings Photography: Rebecca Fallowfield

23

T

his year has been an anomaly for the UTSU in that Trinity, along with SMC, Victoria, and the Engineering Society, has decided to hold a referendum petitioning fee diversion from the Union: “Students don’t feel that their voices are being heard, and they want to divert their money into an organization that will represent their interests and respond to their concerns: for Trinity that’s the TCM”, says Melissa Beauregard, Head of Arts. I had a chance to sit down with the current UTSU president, Shaun Shepherd, and hear his comments on the current situation involving fee diversion, the future of the UTSU, and a few spicy extras: you know, for the ratings. The UTSU debate is understandably a niche activity for the politically inclined, however I urge you to read this article if only to learn which imaginary mythical creature the UTSU president would prefer to fight in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse - all Trin kids love the hypothetical Zombie Apocalypse.

The first question is on every Trin student’s mind. If you had the chance, who would you marry, boff, or reject: Sam Greene, Jake Brockman, Enko Koceku.

Well, Sam is a charismatic character, so I would reject him. I like Enko, so I’d marry Enko.

And why not: I’d boff Jake. I can’t believe this is happening.

The UTSU publically maintains that they want to keep open relationships with the colleges and the central UTSU administration. Do you believe you have reached out to college leaders this past year as well as you could have?

I think I did a stellar job, at least in ensuring that I am open to suggestions and to hearing concerns, not just dismissing them. I feel like there has been a bit of a failure on the part of the [college] leaders in taking advantage of this opportunity. A number of times concerns have been brought forth, but every time I’ve met with student heads, the focus has been on online voting. These other concerns have only begun materializing.

In the event of a Zombie Apocalyse, would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck? Explain your reasoning.

I’d rather fight one horse sized duck and here’s my reasoning: I don’t watch TV often, but when I do, I watch the Walking Dead. And I have learned through this show that when you have a swarm of

Salterrae • UTSU: So Hot Right Now

something, it’s usually worse than when you have just one. After all, if everything goes well, I can at least ride it and use it as a form of transportation.

What do you specifically see as the motivation for multiple colleges seeking this year to hold referenda on fee diversion this year?

It’s about rerouting the fees to another society.

People are talking about the removal of services and not wanting to be part of the union. It’s not about saving students’ money. At the end of the day, students will still be paying that fee; it will just be going to another organization. I feel like the impetus is about increasing the purses of particular student societies.

if the colleges divert fees?

Straight up, the UTSU has no interest in pursuing legal action. The UTSU has made no statement about legal action because that is not our interest.

The interest is solving this with the mechanisms at hand, and being civil about it. The only individuals who have mentioned legal action have been the student societies. The TCM said they’re working with the Engineering Society to create a $10,000 retainer for lawyers: that to me is a stronger sign of what side is more willing to move into legal action.

Right now that is not even an interest or an option that is on my plate.

Do you know what Munib’s stance is on legal action?

Does the UTSU plan on pursuing legal action Through the transitional period, we will be talking about it and I will be sharing my opinions.

The one thing I can say with confidence is that Munib is not interested in creating a legal dispute.

“I’d boff Jake”

- Shaun Shepherd

24

Let’s say hypothetically the referenda pass this year, the colleges go to the University Affairs Board, and it approves the votes. What will the UTSU’s reaction be to that?

The impetus for referenda must come from one of two places outlined in the Charter of Referenda: It must come from the UTSU Board of Directors, or it must come from some UTSU member who petitions for a referendum. As long as either of those is satisfied, along with the standing procedures outlined by charter, the UTSU can authorize referenda. Anything outside of those, the UTSU cannot in any way endorse. There is no way we can authorize another society’s decisions because they do not operate within our bylaws.

Salterrae • Emily Jennings have been avoided had there been constant communication throughout the year.

So if a group of Trinity College students came to the UTSU with a petition for referendum, the UTSU would authorize the referendum?

Do you have any advice for next year’s incoming slate, in regards to what you have had to deal with this year, particularly with Trinity?

They can initiate a petition, and as long as the petition moves forward under the guidelines in the charter it is an official UTSU referendum.

Looking back do you think you could have done anything differently to prevent what has happened this year?

There is a weird perception that [the UTSU] is not viewed favourably by the administration; however that is not the case. I received a standing ovation from Governing Council upon entering office, and I’ve spoken with the governors, and they’re ecstatic with the work we did this year.

In terms of room for improvement, I really wish I could have made good on my commitment to work with college leaders. I wouldn’t pin it all on myself; I do think it is also a failure on the part of the college leaders. All of this could

“Trinity has its strengths” - Shaun Shepherd

Trinity has its strengths: it’s a college of community and leadership. Work with those strengths in mind. It is a college that has been outspoken for quite some time; take their considerations to heart. Members of Trinity College initiated electoral reform, and the UTSU implemented over 50% of that.

If you could endorse any type of toothpaste, what would it be?

Colgate! Wait, no Aim, because that is what I used to use as a kid. And I haven’t seen an Aim bottle in a while.

25

The Salterrae • April 2013

DORM COVETEUR You know what they say about closed doors

BY: CARLING FRASER

PHOTOGRAPHY BY IRIS ROBIN

{1} Alysha, 2nd Main

Walking into Alysha’s room, you enter a time of the past. Full of vintage charm, her room contains twinkling lights, yellow roses, an old movie poster, film photos of Rome, and a hook to display dresses. Her bulletin board is filled with photos: some from her childhood, others from highschool, even one of her parents dancing at their wedding.

Also attached to her bulletin board are bags upon bags of David’s Tea. A self-professed tea devotee, Alysha confesses, “I have 41 different kinds of loose leaf tea.” All of these teas are kept in her dorm room, ready to use in conjunction with one of her delicate teacups. She is also known to frequent Cobs Bakery on Bloor to buy scones.

{2}

{3}

Iris, 2nd Kirkwood

Darshan, Vish, and Raajan, 130 Main

Although Iris could only pack one suitcase, she managed to pack a lot of personality. As an international student, Iris brought her British heritage with her to Canada.

Her room is filled with marmite and tea, union jacks, and a tin that reminds her to ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ – a motto no Trinity dorm is complete without. The walls are decorated with postcards from her parents, the post being second nature to her.

“I only write letters,” she says, and proceeds to show me fountain and feather pens, a stationary set, and personalized wax seals, which she melts and stamps onto every envelope.

Against the wall is a bicycle and a University of Toronto pennant (stolen from Vic). Her dorm also includes three capes, two fencing swords and of course, one happy occupant. She plans to live in the same room next year.

Located close to Melinda Seaman, and far away from any other room, is 130 Main. This lavish suite contains two bedrooms, an en-suite bathroom, a fireplace and three inhabitants. The many perks of living here include hearing the melodious tunes which emanate from the Abbot Room and the ability to play one’s own music until 3 in the morning without floor mates asking to quiet down.

This room’s rare architectural features were striking, but I also wanted to know what interesting things Vish and Raajan kept within these walls.

“We have a lot of spoiled food in the fridge,” they told me, although the only thing interesting about that was the smell. Vish and Raajan had some other unique objects, like a TV and Xbox, electric guitar, and a prized rice cooker. Their growing collection of beer labels, which cannot go unmentioned, along with the rest of their room, is something they are “pretty proud of.”

26

The Salterrae • April 2013

From Drinking Tea to Drinking e ve

ing h t ry

A (SCANDALOUS) ‘HERSTORY’ OF ST. HILDA’S BY: Jordan May & Maddy Stewart Trinity College admitted its first female student, Helen Gregory, in 1884. Four years later, St. Hilda’s College was founded, opening its doors to two students at a building on Euclid Avenue. The college went on to occupy several locations before the opening of the Devonshire Place residence in 1938.

While the new building – designed by noted Toronto architect Eden Smith – was intended to replicate the atmosphere of a residential home, this intention has had significant implications for the independence of its residents. As scholar Alyson E. King notes in an article on residence design at the University of Toronto, “the emphasis… on maintaining a home-like atmosphere reinforced

patriarchal assumptions that women students needed more protection and supervision than their male counterparts.”

The transition from this sheltered ideal to the current situation has taken many years, and, as the memoirs of many alumnae suggest, has involved significant struggle.

From the initial founding of St. Hilda’s, there always existed a sense that women had to be protected from men of college. One alumna, Margaret McDougall (1T9) fondly recalled Thursday reception nights, when men of college were allowed to enter St. Hilda’s for a whole two hours, during which time they would engage in such raucous activities as tea-drinking, knitting, and

27

piano-playing. According to McDougall, an administrator would enter the reception room at 10 pm sharp, ring a bell, and demand the immediate exodus of all gentleman callers. One thing remains clear: despite strict rules, Trinity ladies have

‘There was always a sense t hatwomenhadt o beprotected from meno f col l ege’ always known how to party, whether with tea, or beverages of other kinds.

Both the First and Second World Wars saw the women of St. Hilda’s abandoning traditional gen-

The Salterrae • April 2013 der roles and embracing the spirit of Rosie the Riveter. During both wars, there was a great need for women to go beyond their academic duties and assist in the war effort by serving in local hospitals and taking on other workplace roles. Contemporary St. Hildians were a prime example of who runs the world (hint: girls).

‘Despi te strictrul es,Trini t y ladies have always known how to part y’ The 1960s saw a strong backlash against the strict rules at St. Hilda’s. One particularly freespirited St. Hilda’s gal, Mary Martin (6T8), said that “infractions occurred because the rules appeared ridiculously restraining to young women…

When I entered St. Hilda’s in the fall of 1964, we wore skirts and stockings; by the time I graduated the fashion was blue jeans and oversized sweaters.” Martin recalled the time as one of sneaking into the opposite sex’s residence and of personal experimentation, with everything from marijuana to the Pill framed as rebellion against the restrictive rules imposed upon women.

In the 1980s, Trinity proper saw its first female residents. Ten women moved into Angel’s Roost to compensate for the lack of space in St. Hilda’s.

While some particularly charming men spoke of this as the destruction of Trinity’s “ethos,” others felt that it was a long time coming. When we interviewed Mary Shenstone (8T1), she noted that the backlash against this move was minimal. According to Shenstone, many amorous men already lurked in the St. Hilda’s dorms (and vice versa), as became crystal clear during night-time fire alarms in which men of college were spotted sheepishly exiting the all-girls’ residence.

Of course, full gender integration of residences would not come until 2005. In 2002, there was a

‘Everyt hing from m ari juana to t he Pillwasfram ed as rebellion’ pilot project in which eight lucky gentlemen were selected to live in St. Hilda’s for a year. Much to everyone’s surprise, the women of St. Hilda’s were not permanently scarred by their daily interactions with men. Shenstone, who sat on the St. Hilda’s Alumni Board in 2005, noted that the older alumnae of St. Hilda’s were actually some of the strongest supporters of the integration – these are, after all, the same women who struggled with the strictness of a college that historically acted

28

with paternalism toward its female students.

One must wonder whether the women of Trinity have benefitted from this merger or lost a sense of community. Perhaps both assertions are true.

The memoirs of past St. Hildians indicate that the all-girls’ residence provided a home, a community with a significantly different spirit than that which we see today. They also suggest a common theme: the struggle for liberation from the strict confines of the original, highly paternal concept of what a women’s residence should be. One thing remains clear. It is because of these intelligent (and badass) women of years gone by that today’s Trin girls are able to retain a strong sense of independence and make their own decisions about what it means to be Women of College.

Melissa Beauregard • Sana Ali

Sana Ali

A Salterrae exclusive on this hero's very public breakup with Team Renew By: Melissa Beauregard Photography by: Donald Belfon

29

The Salterrae • April 2013

S

ana Ali has not been in hiding. In fact, quite the opposite is true – the two of us sat down at Sammy’s Student Exchange in Hart House, where I probed her for details on her very public forfeiture of Vice President, External of Team Renew in the recent UTSU election.

“To back out isn’t something you can do quietly in the corner. To back out, you need to give people a reason,” she stated.

On Wednesday March 13th, Sana posted an open Facebook note announcing her withdrawal from team Renew and the UTSU election. The note was widely circulated, receiving over 1,500 ‘likes’ and over 400 shares. In the post, Sana details her discomfort with some of the things she observed running as a candidate for Team Renew, including unoriginal platform ideas, “groupthink,” and the “demonizing of entire colleges or groups on campus.”

[Note: This interview took place before the video response released by the UTSU executive on March 17th regarding Sana’s forfeiture.]

Melissa: You’ve gotten a lot of support from students. Have you a spoken to any of the people who you were running with?

Sana: I haven’t actually had a sit down conversation with any of them, but I have texted them to essentially say “I’m sorry that it had to be this way.” I’ve been clear in saying that I’m not sorry for what I did, as I still think I did the right thing.

I’m just sorry that they had to be hurt in that way because I know they trusted me.

S: I was actually approached really late, and I’m pretty sure other people had said no beforehand. I said okay, but I really only knew the bare bones of it at that point as my involvement with the UTSU had been through the very positive side through clubs. The whole mountain of other stuff wasn’t even on my radar.

M: At the All-Candidates debate, were you given any idea of the questions that would be asked?

S: We did a lot of group prep for that and we were basically told what to say as answers for the big questions, like the referendum and online voting.

As far as the referendum, we were basically told not to answer the question as much as possible.

S: No. M: So they just claimed they had done it?

S: They basically gave me three reasons for antionline voting. The first is that there are different kinds of systems. The next thing is that online voting doesn’t really increase voter turnout. It’s just an initial spike, and then research shows that it goes right back down. The last thing they said was that it’s not secure. I don’t know what research specifically pointed to those things.

M: You know when I went to vote with my friend the other day, we were asked to come back because they had run out of ballots. Was the argument of efficiency ever discussed?

M: How did you feel about the debate?

S: I thought that the debate in general was a good opportunity for us to get across as a team that there were things that we wanted to change this year. That wasn’t really what anyone else on the team thought we should do. In the debate, it was more people defending what has happened rather than talking about changes. The candidates were not addressing the concerns being raised, even though it was a perfect opportunity.

M: What are some of the specific things that you really wanted to do in this position, platform aside?

S: Some of the things I thought would be exciting is to have more events happening between colleges. Another thing was increasing support for our varsity sports. From the perspective of VP external specifically I felt like it was an opportunity for us to do things differently. Campaigns lose effect over time, and if you claim something is ongoing forever, you won’t have the same pressure because people will lose interest. That’s just what happens with collective action.

S: Yeah, and you know one of the big things I raised concerns about was electoral reform.

When we went to the all-candidates meeting and the people we were running with was going to finally be revealed, and there was nobody, I was shocked. I just felt that we needed to do something, and right afterwards I went and told them that I thought we needed to add something to our platform about electoral reform because clearly people don’t have faith in us. Not a single person out of 47,000. And they just said it was hard to get students involved in politics, not just at U of T, but everywhere.

M: In your Facebook letter you talked a bit about how it was met when you voiced these contrasting opinions...?

S: Well I mean it wasn’t like everyone would freak out and say, “Quick! Take her to the brainwashing room!” They were very nice about it, but it came from a place where they had already made up their mind. It was a lot more of me being convinced than us having a dialogue.

M: Were there any specific policies or platforms that the UTSU supported or held that you didn’t agree with?

M: Has anyone responded negatively?

S: Yes, but those people weren’t on the exec.

M: What sorts of things were you involved in before this year?

S: Well actually my first and second year I didn’t do anything, because I was just like the biggest hermit. Then I got involved with Because I Am A Girl, the U of T chapter, as well as various other clubs. My involvement with the UTSU was through clubs.

M: And they approached you sometime earlier this year to join their slate?

S: I feel like a lot of the things they want to do are very good things, but some things they took a very firm stance against. For example, online voting. I personally haven’t done the research, so I didn’t want to be the person to say, “No! We should do online voting,” even though I think it’s a good thing. Just the fact that the whole team agreed it wasn’t a good idea, but since everybody wanted it we would [air quotes] “investigate” it. But they already had their mind made up about it, and that was my biggest issue. They had their mind made up about a lot of things that they said they were going to look into.

M: Did they ever show you any research?

30

To back out, you need to give people a reason

Melissa Beauregard • Sana Ali M: You also mentioned in your letter that you have friends from all over, and sometimes you would receive odd looks.

S: Yeah, my visual cultural diversity. I feel like the people that were approached before me fit the category that I would fit in to. Racially, my gender, and everything. It was like ok, we need to fill this spot. I don’t know if this is how they actually function, but from what I’ve heard about who was approached before me, and my other friends who were approached as well for last years exec team and who ended up taking their place... It’s very convenient that they happen to be visually similar.

S: The one incident that I gave as an example, Munib [Sajjad] actually talked to me later on about it. He knew I was talking about him, and when he texted me he said, “That look that I gave you, it was just because he was a grad student, so I was just like why are you wasting your time campaigning to him. That’s all I meant.” And that may have been the case, but the general feeling was still there. That was just one incident that represented a general sentiment of like, if they are the opposition then you don’t talk to them, there is no point. They divide and cut the campus in half.

M: Did you think of any of your own platform ideas, or did they just hand you things to work on?

S: It wasn’t that direct. We had a brainstorming session of things we all wanted to do, and it was a huge list. But the thing is that a lot of the things on it were very in keeping with things that have been happening in past years, and I just felt like we need to look at ways to revamp the system.

M: And you didn’t like that general feeling?

S: No. I’m friends with so many different people.

I’m friends with Marxists and i’m friends with Young Liberals. I pride myself on being able to maintain those different connections even if we have completely different political views, because that’s what you do. Especially if you’re a Student Union. You need to make sure that the radical Marxist feels as included as the right winger, because you’re representing all of them. And I didn’t feel that at all. I felt like every time I was engaged in conversation with a certain individual that was infamous amongst the UTSU group, they would just be like, “Oh no, you don’t want to be in that conversation. I’ll come save you from that conversation next time this is happening.”

And I just kind of wanted to be like, “I don’t need to be saved from this conversation.”

M: Is there anything you wanted to say in particular about this whole process or what prompted this decision?

S: There have been a lot of questions about why I waited until the first day of campaigning was over.

It is really hard to explain, because it honestly just struck me at once. After the first day of campaigning ended I was so exhausted and just thought, “Okay, I’ve put in so much work, and will be putting in a lot more. If this is something I don’t believe in anymore then I need to step up and admit that to myself, and then to everyone else.” And that’s what I did. I decided that night, and then had to decide how to extricate myself. And it’s a public thing, everyone knows you’re running. You can’t just say “I don’t want to run anymore,” and then not tell everyone why. I feel like that’s not fair.

That’s why I haven’t said no to going out and answering questions. I took on something that was a public thing, and now I need to give explanations.

M: How do you feel about the prospect of a referendum?

S: Right now I am actually kind of ambivalent.

At first I really felt that we couldn’t let it happen because the Union is important. And I still agree that we need a union, just because there are already so many divisions. It is an important body, but having seen what’s been going on, and now finally being able to relate to a lot of frustrations that people have been bringing forward against the Union, it does make sense.. And I’m graduating so I mean...

M: That makes sense.

S: Some people have called me naïve. And yeah, I will admit that I knew very little about what I was getting in to. I knew surface details and, to be honest, I don’t know if there are actually that many people who do go into this job knowing what the day to day is.

M: Ahh, so you won’t be running next year?

S: No! That’s another thing I want people to know. I didn’t do this to like gain fame so I could run independently next year. I’m actually graduating, and what I saw I just don’t want to be part of.

M: And I’m sure once you get involved, all you see is the negative side of the criticism coming against you.

S: Exactly. Once you’re a part of a group, you feel the need to defend it. And that’s what I was doing a lot, I found I wasn’t able to look at it critically and see how it was all really messed up. It takes a moment for you to step out of.

M: In your letter you talk about being selected to run because of your “visual culture,” can you please describe that a bit more?

31

The Salterrae • April 2013

What Kind of Trin Student are You?

Your

Strachan

parents

is serving two

By: Victoria Hoffman

kinds of fries, oh my!

You got into Trinity!

With whom do

Start

You

opt for:

you share the good news?

Your toga

Curly fries,

motherfucker.

for toga party was made from:

Your 118 political

A sexed-in

connections on

bedsheet

LinkedIn

Your nation’s

T

flag

You’ve been

Let’s have a kiki.

asked to write a personal statement

A lightsaber

about a photo of goats in trees.

You

write about:

A dystopian world in which goats develop opposable

The

thumbs

tar sands

You are: The “On-the-roadto-success” Trinity Student! ...and what a good road to be on!

Indeed, ‘LSAT’ is a four-letter acronym to you. Your iPhone stubbornly autocorrects “meandering” to “meeting with the dean.” You make sure shit gets done in this place and we probably all owe you.

32

Oui Oui

Non Non

You are: The “Trin-events-aremore-important-than-class” Trinity Student! ...and what an excellent mindset You might not have a 4.0,

you have!

but your flask was surely filled

Bubbly 2012.

Once, you built a castle out of empty boxes of wine.

with four loko at

Salterrae • April 2013

You know

Your

every single

Potato

go-to film to

lyric to:

wedges,

watch drunk is:

212 by Azealia Banks

Duh. The Canadian national

How to Train Your Dragon

anthem...en français!

You saw the TCDS’s

Bre-keke-kek!

I get it now!

Dionysus shwaaaat?

The only Trinity event you’d never, EVER miss is:

Free ROM Tuesday!

The

rush pub

Wes Anderson

The Frogs!

A pet rock

Saints’

invovling

production of

You would rather own:

The Elder Wand

Anything

Salterrae

Bubbly

launch party!

Rush to the Egypt exhibit!

GEOLOGY ROCKS!!!

You are: The “Undefined” Trinity Student!

You are: The “Traditional” Trinity Student! ...and you are the salt of the earth! Your poured-out gown is surely adorned with all kinds of interesting things like badges, and locks of hair from previous

Rush to the geology exhibit

Lit

PMs. Wednesdays are your day of

YOU WIN!!

...and kudos to you for being You’re like a social amoeba, oozing into every crack

unpredictable!

and melding together the blocks of

Trinity. You don’t know where

you are half the time, but you’re pretty much indispensible.

rest and you will probably

Vestigial, you will like an appendix.

(rightfully) frame this issue of the Salterrae.

33

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The Salterrae • April 2013

It Ain’t Easy Being Green An argument for levying the TEC By: Larissa Parker

Illustrations: Anton Ermakov ecently, the Trinity Environment Club (TEC) has been having difficulty obtaining a levy as a Trinity College club. This puzzles me. The presence of the TEC, through representation at the Board of Stewards, Finance Committee, and other meetings, would provide a beneficial voice to the student life decision-making process.

I understand that the Trinity levied club status tends to be for clubs with high volumes of funds and participants. That being said, many environmental issues are not adequately addressed at Trinity. Sustainable changes, such as buying recyclable materials for decorations, using washable plastic cups for major events, or simply adding more ash trays around the college could easily be implemented if the TEC became a levied club.

The club took big steps to raise awareness and

Many environmental issues are not adequately addressed at Trinity

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participation among the student body through multiple environmental events and initiatives.

Compost stations were placed in every bathroom, and are organized and cleaned by TEC volunteers. Moreover, the St. Hilda’s versus Trinity Water Conservation contest saw a reduction of 9% water usage from St. Hilda’s and 3% from Trinity. Overall, Trinity placed first against the other six colleges at the university. The TEC has also organized two environment high tables this year, which were widely attended by many professors from the Environment, Ethics, Society, & Law and Forestry departments.

It is clear that this year was one of growth and many firsts for the TEC. The first ever TEC debate, regarding divestment, the Alberta tar sands and Keystone environmental solutions, was held in the JCR on March 14. This year also saw the creation of a TEC website. Also exciting were the Earth Hour events on March 23, which demonstrated significant interest among the student body.

The club ensured that every month had a “Rewire” theme. During the month of February, “Rewire” focused on promoting laundry solutions by advocating the use cold water and environmentally friendly laundry detergent. Looking back on this year, I can confidently say that the TEC helped Trinity College to achieve a greener and more sustainable level of living.

The TEC is growing, and more and more students are showing interest. Given this, it is in the college’s best interest to consider granting the TEC a levy. This will ensure that a dialogue on environmental impact can be had consistently, for all major events and changes at Trinity. I believe that small lifestyles changes are required if we wish to become a sustainable college and improve the overall quality of student life. A TEC levy will help us to make these changes.