April 2014

April 2014

Meet Mayo Moran An interview with Trinity’s incoming Provost. pg.

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Addressing the Issue of Headship

Into The Woods

Two Heads discuss the financial restraints of Headship. pg.

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A look behind the scenes of the TCDS’ spring musical. pg.

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Content

APRIL 2013

A Letter from the Editors p. 2

NO ONE PUTS SANA ALI IN A CORNER

AALLBALL pril 2014 W

21ST CENTURY RUSH PUB Can this tradition align with modern progressive values?

The brutal odyssey of Trinity’s blood sport P.

21

P.

18

Our exclusive interview on her public departure from Team Renew

Duranswers Lucas Durand p. 10

Mayo Moran: Trinity’s New Provost by:

Kaleem Hawa

Kaleem Hawa sits down with the Dean of the Univeristy of Toronto’s Faculty of Law, and incoming Trinity Provost, Mayo Moran.

Pirates Maybe- But Terrorists?

Larissa Parker p. 11 The Case For Campaigning Iris Robin p. 12 Which Fourth Year Is Your Spirit Graduate?

Emily Jennings and Sonia Liang p. 14-15 A First Year’s Map Of Trinity Maddy Torrie p. 16

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Features

Alumni Sarah Nankivell p. 3 Going POSTal Veronica Stewart p. 4

P.

Pg. 5-8

On the Bookshelves of...Superhaus by:

Rebecca Zhu

A look at what the residents of Trinity’s home away from home are reading, tell people they are reading to sound smart, or bought at the Trin booksale and haven’t looked at since.

Pg. 9

First Year In Review Maddy Torrie p. 17 From Singing Hymns To Mingling Limbs Sonia Liang p. 18 Cocktails Amanda Greer p. 19

Adressing the Issue of Headship by:

Patrick Andison and Pujan Modi

The Male Head of NRAC and Male Head of Arts discuss the financial constraints that Heads face, and provide a potential solution to the problem.

Trinity’s New ‘One’ Program Kaleem Hawa and Marcus Tutert p. 20-21

Pg. 13

Black Tie Breakdown Patrick Harris p. 24 Tales From The Campaign Trail Christian Medieros p. 25

Into The Woods

The Myth Of Graduation Emily Jennings p. 26

Witches, and Giants, and Princes oh my! Behind the scenes of the TCDS’s spring musical, Into The Woods.

Deports Fashion Victoria Reedman p. 27

Pg. 22-23

by:

Things to Do Around Town Simone Garcia p. 28

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Emma Smith

Salterrae • April 2014

APRIL 2013

Masthead

21ST CENTURY RUSH PUB

WALLBALL

Can this tradition align with modern progressive values?

Editor-in-Chief Hayden Rodenkirchen

Senior Copy Editor Emily Jennings

NO ONE PUTS SANA ALI IN A CORNER

The brutal odyssey of Trinity’s blood sport P.

21

P.

18

Our exclusive interview on her public departure from Team Renew

Senior Photographer Donald Belfon

Director of Public Relations Allison Spiegel

Senior Design Editor Guy Taylor

Treasurer Zane Schwartz

Salterrae Executive

Salterrae Contributors

Copy Editors

Columnists

Simone Garcia Sonia Liang Madeline Stewart

Lucas Durand Simone Garcia Amanda Greer Sonia Liang Rebecca Zhu

Design Editors Andrew Bryan Helen Picard Josh Oliver

Staff Writers Emma Smith Veronica Stewart

Jr. Design & Copy Editors

P.

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Writers Patrick Andison Kaleem Hawa Patrick Harris Emily Jennings Christian Medieros Pujan Modi Victoria Reedman Iris Robin Larissa Parker Maddy Torrie Marcus Tutert

Photographers and Illustrators Emily Jennings Sonia Liang Claire Shenstone-Harris Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer Guy Taylor Maddy Torrie

Claire Shenstone-Harris Maddy Torrie Letter From The Editors Dear Trinitrons, We your illustrious editors have emerged from the bowels of sub-Strachan to produce the fourth and final Salterrae of the year, for your enjoyment.

Because this is our final issue, we would like to thank you, our loyal readers, for your support and interest in our publications. To say thank you, we present to you a special sneak peak of our upcoming television series entitled “Two Friends and a Dog”, airing on Fox this June. *Door knocks* Hayden barks.

Guy: “Down boy!”

Hayden: “Woof ” Emily enters the office. “Hello Guy! Haaayden, who’s a good boy?”

Hayden: “Woof ” Guy: “I’m so excited for the Salterrae to come out!”

Hayden barks. Guy and Emily high five.

The End. Please enjoy this issue of the Salterrae. In it you will find an updated crossword, alterations to last issue’s review of the Ford GTX1, and an expanded sports section—this time including sports.

Hayden, Emily, and Guy, signing off for the last time.

As always, Stay Salty!

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Sarah Nankivell • Alumni

By: Sarah Nankivell Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a person who thrives on strict routine and a near-neurotic need for control.

I often put more effort into planning and preparing for every moment of my future than I do enjoying those moments when they actually arrive. However, over the past year of alternating between travelling and working a mind-numbing desk job that has nothing to do with my career goals, I have learned to let go of the compulsion to plan what my future must look like. As I reluctantly venture outside the padded walls of academia, I have learned that not only do things usually not go exactly the way you planned, but (more importantly) it can be more exciting when they don’t. In January of last year (my fourth year) I was accepted to go to field school in Egypt for two months in the fall. It was my dream come true. I would get to Egypt, fall madly in love with the feel of the Egyptian sand beneath my trowel, and work on my personal statement to the Egyptology program at Oxford every evening as I watched the sun set over the Nile. I always envisioned my future self with the desert wind blowing wildly through my hair as I emerged from the secret lost tomb of Cleopatra dressed like Laura Dern in Jurassic Park wearing high-waisted denim jeans, Ray Bans, and a wide-brimmed hat.

Moving Forward

Lost in the Sands of Post-Graduate Time None of that happened.

Instead, my trip to Egypt was cancelled due to political unrest and I was very disappointed. But, since I had already booked the tickets to that side of the globe, I decided (after careful consideration and much worrying, of course) to seize the opportunity and embark on the quintessential 21-year-old-backpacks-through-Europe three month long adventure. And then the new round of planning started. Oh how I prepared. Much to my parent’s dismay (“Sarah might finally do something impulsive like the other kids do,” they hoped), I picked out every train I would take and every hostel I would stay in months ahead of time. I made multiple itineraries in different coloured pens for hours every weekend of last summer.

Very little of that happened, either.

At the beginning of the trip I stuck with the itinerary, but after the first week or so I began to realize the value of taking things day by day. If I liked somewhere, I stayed there. If I didn’t like where I was, I got on the next train. After my first travelling companion left, I discovered that I didn’t like travelling alone and started to feel pretty homesick. So, instead of carrying on with my jam-packed solo itinerary, I met up with my good friend Sheena and moved in with her in Paris for the majority of the last month of my trip. I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to, but it was okay. I didn’t have to see everything, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about not being quite the fabulous-independent-euro-tripping woman I’d envisioned. My plans had changed on a whim, but for the first time, that wouldn’t be cause for teardrops on my Moleskine day planner.

Sometimes students, as bright, ambitious young people, forget that not knowing what you want to do next year or in 20 years is not only allowed, it’s very normal. I always thought that after I graduated I would have profound confidence in what I wanted out of life. I do not. And I know very few people who do. It is wonderful to see all of my friends going on to great things; whether that means grad school, starting a professional career, or travelling the world. I feel very lucky to have such an ambitious group of people in my life. But most of us are experimenting with so many different things because we haven’t found our passion yet. The only way you’re ever going to do that is by taking some risks. After I got back from my travels, I applied to an internship at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. It was a long shot, but a risk worth taking. Last year, I applied for the same program and was not even invited for an interview. This year, I was offered a six-month internship in the Egyptian Art department. I could not be more thrilled.

The moral of this story is worry less and take more risks. There’s no one right way to spend your undergraduate and there’s no one right way to spend the time after you graduate, either. You don’t have to go to grad school or dive head-first into a career the moment you finish at Trinity. Stop at go, collect $200. But, most of all, please cherish your time at Trin. I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a day that went by where I don’t miss it. You’ll have lots of time in your life to move on to other things; don’t wish away the incredible experience of being around so many wonderful, ambitious people every day.

Now take a deep breath and enjoy each opportunity as it comes, because everything is going to be okay.

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Salterrae • April 2014

Going POStal

The Do’s and Don’ts of Subject Post Selection By: Veronica Stewart Illustration: Claire Shenstone-Harris DO: Start Early!

Right now it may seem as if there is ample time to make up your mind about your Program of Study (POSt). With finals fast approaching, it may be tempting to leave this decision to the last minute.

Be warned, however, these deadlines will sneak up on you, and it is probably a good idea to know the basics of the selection process before making a decision. Learn about the difference between a specialist, a major, a minor, and the minimum combination of these necessary to graduate. Also double check that you have taken, or plan to take the relevant prerequisites you need in order to enroll in your program of choice. This prevents many unnecessary rejections and headaches.

DON’T: Panic!?!

Unless of course you thrive under pressure, then by all means continue. As for the rest of you who prefer to avoid unnecessary anxieties, take a deep breath, pour yourself a cup of tea, and remain calm. The best way to reach this level of serenity is to put everything in perspective. Your life will not end if you don’t make the right decision. Confusion, self-doubt and fear are all normal emotions. Despite how together your peers may appear, rest assured that everyone experiences this type of crisis at least once before they graduate.

DO: Ask for Advice.

When it comes to figuring out Subject POSts, Google is your friend. The internet is a wonderful place full of endless answers. In addition to online advice, find someone you trust and have a conversation. Whether it is a parent, a professor, or an upper year, lay out your plans before them, and remember to be open-minded to their suggestions. An outside perspective is valuable!

DON’T: Try to fulfill others expectations.

At the end of the day this is your life and your decision. Do not feel pressured to pursue a subject because you feel that you should,

or that it is the most practical option. You will never succeed if you are trying to please others, and putting yourself last. It is better to have tried and failed than to live with regrets. You are not defined by what others expect from you.

DO: What you enjoy.

You may not be singing from the rooftops happy all year, but you should be genuinely interested in what you are studying. Speaking from experience, no matter what you decide, being successful is still going to mean putting the hours in at the library. However, once you find what you are passionate about doing, it will not be as much of a struggle because you are more engaged with the material. That is not to say this will be the case for every required course you take, but unfortunately it is almost impossible to avoid that Introduction to Statistics class.

DON’T: Be guided only by your GPA.

Grades are not everything. There, I said it, and for all of you overachievers it is time to stop rolling your eyes and hear me out. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be top of the class or making the Dean’s list, but it is wrong to avoid a subject that fascinates you because you think it will pull down your GPA. This is U of T; easy As’ are not part of any program’s description. There are bigger issues at stake here and no one should compromise their aspirations for an extra hundredth of a point or two.

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DO: Change your mind.

Then change it back. Repeat…as many times as necessary until you not only feel comfortable with but confident in your final choice.

Even though you are required to pick a program at the end of first year, this does not mean that it is written in stone. Often you don’t get a sense of what you will be studying until you take the leap and take some of the relevant upper year classes.

While you may change your mind after a semester, now that you’ve gotten a taste for the subject, it is better to try a few and then find the subject that is meant for you than to be miserable for another three years. Do not fear indecision or worry that you will make the wrong choice because it is not a mistake as long as you learn something.

DON’T: Give up on your dreams.

As a generation raised on classic Disney movies there is no doubt that we may have some unrealistic expectations for our own lives. Unfortunately, with university comes a healthy dose of reality, as it becomes apparent that the world is filled with more poison apples than Prince Charmings. Nevertheless, this does not mean that you should give up on happy endings. Music majors can still become doctors, science students have made it in Hollywood, and Ivy League dropouts are some of the richest people on the planet.

Remember your decision only defines you if you want it to, and the only limitations are the ones you construct yourself.

Kaleem Hawa • Meet Mayo Moran

Meet Mayo Moran An Interview with Dean of University of Toronto Faculty of Law and Trinity College Provost-Designate Mayo Moran By: Kaleem Hawa

Photography: Sonia Liang

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Salterrae • April 2014 “When I left, I thought it was probably the most important thing I’d ever do.”

It is hard to conceive of a time when Mayo Moran – a consummate legal mind, decorated policymaker, and distinguished university administrator – had not been immersed in the ethos of college academia.

Nevertheless, the outgoing Dean of the University of Toronto Law Faculty and Provost-Designate of Trinity College distinctly remembers sitting in her Prince George classroom in northern British Columbia when life in Toronto and its legal world was the furthest thing from her mind.

“When I finished my undergraduate degree at UBC, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. So I applied late and did a year of teacher’s education on a bit of a whim. It was a very tough time to get a teaching job but I ended up focusing on something I love – English literature – in my hometown in northern BC.” Laughing, she continues, “in many ways, you could say I was underprepared.”

“It was a really tough school. Many of my kids were Aboriginal students whose parents had gone to residential schools and who came from dysfunctional communities. There was a lot of poverty – extreme poverty for both Aboriginals and non-Aboriginals alike.”

Dean Moran rearranges her seat in the spacious office, sliding her fingers against the cracked leather of her chair. “The experience became about taking those kids – many of whom didn’t have books at home and who lived on farms – and teaching them to love the language and to love the great works.

I had one student who was a hockey player to the core who turned out to love Shakespeare after he had read some of the sonnets we had picked. He even asked me how much he could expect to make as a poet!”

“I’ve since helped with the implementation of the Indian Residential Schools Agreement. I help to oversee a tribunal process with over 100 adjudicators. The whole thing is a $5 billion class action lawsuit dealing with the complaints of physical and sexual abuse that happened to Aboriginal students in residential schools. The Committee I chair helps to ensure that the process runs smoothly and that these individuals are afforded compensation for the harms they suffered..”

The burden of the emotionally charged work is evident. Her face hardening, she continues.

“There have been over 38,000 claims for compensation.”

••• “They told me that ‘it’s not your world.’ But I thought to myself, ‘well let’s just see about that.’”

In a recent Salterrae interview featuring former Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trinity College Chancellor Bill Graham, a strong emphasis was placed on the importance of fundraising for academic institutions looking to thrive in a modern era characterized by spending cuts and budget downsizing.

Law was the only division that had exceeded our goals... I’ve raised about $54 million in my term.

Dean Moran has made fundraising a priority during her time at the law faculty. “All in all, I’ve found fundraising to be great. It is largely about having good relationships with people, understanding what matters to the future of the institution you are leading, and being able to communicate to people to make them care. I have enjoyed it enormously.”

Dean Moran’s face lights up in remembrance.

“Also, I got a whole bunch of emails from my former students when I was named Provost because the paper in Prince George had printed an article about it because I had been a local teacher, and it just brought back a surge of memories. I’ve always loved teaching and my time in BC really cemented for me how transformative education can be.”

It’s not all blue skies in that respect. “Initially when I became Dean, there were questions about whether I could fundraise in part because people tend to think that dealing with serious money is a man’s game. In the early days, people said to me that ‘this isn’t your world.’ If anything, that just spurred me on! And in fact as it turned out I had incredible help and support from all sectors of the legal and business community.

It is clear Dean Moran drew strength and motivation from her teaching experiences – an early foray into the world of social inequities that inspired her to be a standard bearer for Aboriginal remuneration and legal recourse in her new life.

The campaign was very successful. “This past year for example when we looked at all the fundraising goals for the university, law was the only division that had exceeded our goals; our building is nearly fully funded. So far I’ve raised about $54 million in my term.”

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In another previous Salterrae interview, Margaret MacMillan highlighted that one of the barriers she faced as a prominent academic and leader in her community was related to her gender. As another woman in a high-powered role, Dean Moran’s perspective on this issue is telling and poignant.

“As the first female Dean of Law here at UofT, I often go to meetings where I am the only woman in the room. I think my generation of women has benefitted greatly from the trailblazing efforts of women before me. I am very aware, for example in the law, that the women who were a generation ahead of me faced obstacles that are different in kind from what women like me face. I think the obstacles that exist now are much more subtle but are still quite significant.”

Moran takes a deep breath before continuing. “When I became Dean of Law, I was not only the first woman, but I was also a single mother with a young child. He had just turned eight when I was made Dean.”

“There were, I know, a lot of questions floating around that no one wanted to ask me about whether or not I could assume that position because I have a child. For example, all of my predecessors had children when they were in the jobs and yet I doubt if anyone ever thought that that was an issue. This illustrates something that all of the research on women shows—that having children creates serious challenges in the workplace that women are still very far from overcoming.”Dean Moran continues, “in law, I deal with issues of equality. What are things that we did in the past that we recognize are wrong, how do we change them, and how to do we redress those who were harmed? Besides my work with Aboriginal communities, I often tackle issues of gender equality and double standards as well – something that reflects my love of education and emphasis on social justice.”

“For example, I wrote a book published by Oxford on ‘the reasonable person.’ ‘The reasonable person’ is an important concept in law that was actually ‘the reasonable man’ up until about 15 years ago. When the law was assessing behaviour, it would ask what the reasonable man would do in those circumstances.

If you behaved like a reasonable person, the law tended to condone the behaviour. But this became very problematic in areas like self-defense. If someone attacks you, how do you create gender neutral standards when women tend to lack the physical strength of men?”

“There was a case where a woman had been repeatedly abused by her spouse. One night,

Meet Mayo Moran • Kaleem Hawa

as he left the room, she shot him in the back of the head and killed him. It went up to the Supreme Court. The question was whether or not she could argue self-defense because he was not in the process of attacking her.

In the end, she successfully argued that it constituted self-defense given that they were unequal strengths, unequal sizes, and that the police had been unable to protect her.”

“Now don’t get me wrong, courts rightly revisit this issue because you don’t want people to feel like they can kill someone when they are not under attack. However, the problem was that courts used to have a kind of ‘bar-room brawl scenario’ in mind when looking at self-defense.

The idea was that if someone attacks you, you immediately respond to protect yourself. But this doesn’t work for people who are very unequal in size and strength. It might actually be safest for you to wait until a later moment. In the end, what might have worked for the ‘reasonable man,’ was anything but a functional solution for those facing a power imbalance.”

••• “I’ve ity

always admired from across the

Trinravine.”

Dean Moran now discusses in detail the reasons for her interest in serving as Trin-

ity’s 15th Provost. “I’ve always loved the quirky parts of the academy and I hadn’t had any real experience with undergraduates. ‘Where better than Trin’, I thought.”

Comparing her expectations of undergraduate life at Trinity to the postgraduate experience at law, Moran is firm. “Both are similar because I am dealing with really talented students – some of the best at this university. This has a big upside but there are also things you need to pay more attention to. Health and wellness is one.”

the diversity of ways students succeed and display their mastery of academic concepts.”

Smiling, she continues. “So we just changed it.”

“In my second last faculty council meeting, we got everyone to agree on a different structure and while it was a long process, we got it done at the end of the day. I’ve thought a lot about how we create healthier environments and teach students how to deal with stress – which I think is an inevitable feature of our lives.”

In many ways, these developments reflect a larger commitment on the part of the law faculty to mental health and well-being.

“I think many students at the law faculty are under a lot of pressure. I’d be shocked if this wasn’t the case at Trinity. Undergraduate students will consistently have greater stressors related to the nature of their future; introspection and questions like ‘ where am I going to end up’ are more muted in professional school. And so while it is clear that these issues manifest themselves differently amongst undergraduate students compared to postgrads, they are very important to address in seeking to create a healthy community for all.”

Moran is quick to remind that her Assistant Dean of Student Services, Alexis Archbold, sits on the recently announced Provostial Committee on Mental Health, chaired by UofT Vice Provost Students Jill Matus. “[Alexis] is amazing and has worked with me and student leaders on a variety of initiatives. I believe, as she does, in conveying a message that this is a welcoming place, that Trinity can be accessible to all, and that working 24/7 is most certainly not the norm!”

“This is something that I’ve spent a lot of time at on the Faculty of Law. For example, we had first year exams where we would traditionally have six 100% finals. This was an untenable structure that didn’t coincide with

When asked, as a result, to comment on worklife balance, Moran is animated. “I have an incredibly demanding life as Dean of Law and I do a fair bit of public policy work too.

Tomorrow I’m going down to the Niaga-

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Salterrae • April 2014

In the early days, people said to me that ‘this isn’t your world.’ If anything, that just spurred me on!

ra region because I am the reviewer for the government of Ontario on accessibility legislation. On Sunday night, I am flying to Edmonton for the last Truth and Reconciliation Commission. So I am used to a fairly active schedule and I enjoy that. If I didn’t enjoy that ambassadorial role of connecting with people, I wouldn’t have loved being Dean and I wouldn’t have considered being Provost!”

Dean Moran quickly follows this up with a caveat: “but listen, I take holidays! I try not to work on the weekends either. I have a 17 year old who is in the Grade 11 gifted program at Northern. I need to be as available as possible and of course make room for my past-times and hobbies.”

Not yet satisfied establishing her veritable ‘cool mom’ bona fides, Dean Moran continues the list.

“I love Irish knitting but I’m a bit of a daredevil too! I used to ski race up until a couple of years ago. Now I’m learning to fly fish. I also like to cook. My roast chicken recipe was featured in iMagazine and every year at our auction, the students all bid on a roast chicken dinner with me at my house!”

“In the end, I think this is a reflection of my love for working with students. So when I thought about what to do next, I wasn’t keen to leave the UofT community. And I didn’t want to take a job that would have been removed from the academic programming. I really didn’t want to be away from students”

••• “Is that the thing with the cake and gate?”

Dean Moran is, of course, referencing the annual “Cake Fight” where the Men and Women of College brace the Gates of Henderson Tower against a mob of first year students aiming to enter the quad. Both sides consistently pelt each other with a variety of nasty concoctions like mustard, fish, and chocolate sauce. In many ways a jarring conception to someone unfamiliar to Trinity. The conversation has now turned to Dean Moran’s thoughts on tradition.

“No matter what people say, I think it’s clear that traditions bind people together and even if rituals seem silly from the outside, they often serve a greater purpose. I’m kind of a joyful personality and have a good sense of humour, so I wouldn’t automatically be horrified by things like that; it seems like a fun activity!”

“I went to Evensong the other night and thought that was very terrific – what a beautiful Trinity tradition. Communal dining experiences like High and Low Tables too; those kind of collective moments that are everyday and ordinary in nature really allow people to feel like part of a community.

And I think in undergrad, when you come to a big place like UofT, having a sense of belonging like that can be really great.”

“And so I think in many ways, the Law Fac-

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ulty and Trinity are very similar. Both emphasize the importance of tradition, history, and community. It is important, therefore, every time you do some of those things, to ask yourself ‘is there something about this that we need to pay attention to?’ and ‘are there people who might feel excluded by something like this?’ You can keep the parts of tradition that matter without putting people in a box that they don’t want to be in.”

Moran is alluding to the fact that not all Trinity traditions are met with the same enthusiasm and community spirit as others. As such, one of the major responsibilities outlined by outgoing Interim Provost Dr. Michael Ratcliffe in his Salterrae interview was the importance of representing Trinity to the broader community – even if “angry Toronto Star reporters are on the other end of the line.”

Laughing Dean Moran shoots back, “I’m very used to having Toronto Star reporters on the line. Everyone is always interested in things that are happening in the Faculty of Law. Trinity and Law alike have both had to face hostile news media experiences in the past. It’s the nature of our environment. There is always an extreme amount of interest in every single failing and flaw that our institutions have, largely because we’re put on that pedestal.”

With a sparkle in her eye, she continues. “If Tiger Woods had been a different golfer, no one would have paid attention to his indiscretions, now would they?”

Rebecca Zhu • On the Bookshelves: Superhaus

On the Bookshelves of Men and Women of College

Superhaus Edition By: Rebecca Zhu Superhaus is an amazing Trin-away-fromTrin. This once-quiet Bathurst location is now home to debauchery, dinner parties, rooftop parties, and basement philosophizing. Superhaus has been, is, and will remain the residence of many Trin students. Let’s take a look at what the current occupants are reading: Dryden Storm Rainbow’s book of choice is…

The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks

The Traveler is the first novel in the “The Fourth Realm”, a science fiction trilogy written by the pseudonymous John Twelve Hawks. Set in the near future, the novel tells of a world ruled by two secret factions, the Brethren and the Tabula. The latter are influenced by the works of philosopher Jeremy Bentham, and advocate a radical strand of utilitarianism. In addition, there are Travelers, special people capable of detaching their minds from their bodies, and Pathfinders, who help Travelers hone their skills.

Dryden notes that although she cannot pinpoint exactly why she likes the book, The Traveler has stuck with her for a long time. Plus, Warner Brothers is currently making a movie version – always exciting for film students like Dryden.

Thomas Slabon is slowly poring over…Meditations by Rene Descartes

Thomas would like to have you know that he is a very adept reader and philosopher.

However, the reason why Descartes is coming along so slowly is because Thomas is highly

cultured and strives to read the work en français. Thomas recently found a 1930s edition of Meditations at the Trinity Book Sale that he is currently reading. So, if you happen to be philosophically minded and crave a conversation about Descartes, Thomas is waiting for you and your thoughts on his works. Fair warning: Michael Luoma may not be able to resist jumping in at some point.

is a sci-fi writer who appears zany but is actually entirely sensible. Arguably one of the wittiest and most influential modern writers, Vonnegut brings us a troubling tale of racism and oppression in the context of American history.

Craig Gilchrist is rereading his all-time favourite…World Without End by Ken Follett

Although Michael doe not have a favourite book or author, this smart-mouthed philosopher king enjoys being well read. In S/Z, Barthes analyzes Honore de Balzac’s short story “Sarrasine” in order to explore and go beyond the connection between the signifier and signified. In short, if you do not want to talk about philosophy with Thomas, Michael is waiting in the Superhaus basement for you too.

Refrain from telling Carly Rae, but Craig has a new love: Oprah. And since Oprah’s Book Club endorsed Follett’s Pillars of the Earth, Craig has also become enamoured with the sequel, World Without End. The story follows four children, Merthin, Caris, Gwenda, and Ralph, as they endure the Hundred Years’ War and a Europewide outbreak of bubonic plague. It also involves characters with even stranger names, such as Petranilla, Griselda, Buonaventura, and Wulfric. If you need a dose of Oprah-endorsed historical fiction, World Without End is an excellent place to start.

Charlie Burke’s favourite book is…Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut

Charlie is a good guy with good taste in literature. Vonnegut described Breakfast of Champions as the tale of “two lonesome, skinny, fairly old white men on a planet which is dying fast”. One of these men is a car dealer and fast-food franchise owner who appears normal but is actually deeply deranged. The other

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Superhaus has been, is, and will remain the residence of many Trin kids. ‘ Michael Luoma is poring over…S/Z by Roland Barthes

Salterrae • April 2014

D u r a n s w e r s By: Lucas Durand Illustration: Guy Taylor Children of my loins, the great spirit that inhabits my corporeal form has pulled me back to you and to this fine and reputable publication. In the time between this moment and the last that I read your collective desperate scribblings, much has changed. I am drinking a lot more rum now. It is not good rum, but it is rum that I think is good for me. Sometimes I mix it with pomegranate juice, but I really do not like the taste. It is just a fun colour and the ladies think I know what superfoods are, which I read is a plus– albeit not in journals of the same repute as the Salterrae. What I am getting at is that I am in a good place, my life is completely in order. My stuff, it is sorted out.

Bam. You on the other hand ... just perusing the letters delivered in droves to my doorstep I know in my heart of hearts that you have it much worse.

You are faltering. Do not worry, I am here to fix your blues with my mind excellence.

Dearest Intelligenius Durand, I have been thinking about the future and what it is all about. What happens after graduation? Is there a heaven, or does it all just end?

Sincerely, Speculative Second-Year

Dearest Speculative Second-Year, There are some things that even my great accumulation of wisdom, knowledge, and factoids cannot foresee. But, if I were to offer an educated guess, and you damn well better believe that it will be a damn well educated guess, I would convey only this: there is no end, only suffering. There is no grad school, only Teacher’s College. We can only huddle up in a ball and await eternity.

Time waits for all men, The Luchronographer

has not gotten me down. I am thinking I should run for a position in week four. Maybe two positions. Do you think that is a good idea?

Loving Trin, Keen for Votes Dear Keen for Votes, Read that back to yourself. Read it again. Do you hear yourself ? Were the votes in your three other elections even close? Did reopen nominations come ahead of you? Read it again, and if you are not bothered by who you are then, sure, run again. Everyone else does it anyway.

Respectfully, Lukizzle on yo’ drizzlection Oh ye of absolute oneness with all nature, Where do Trin babies come from? I think I might want one. OR TWO! Your truly, Baby Crazy Hey there Baby Crazy, Trin babies are a rare and delicate thing. Conceived in the fires of Henderson Tower in a pool of tears and spilt beers, the Trin Baby is the result of faulty Whit Condoms, disparity of attractive-

ness and that mysterious lust for life which come together one night a year during Quad Party. Remember, there are better men out there than me.

Please do not make me a father.

Oh bother, Ye Wizened Lucat Uh ... Lucas ... , I ... think I am having a Trin baby in me. What do I do?

Yours truly, Baby Crazy Shoot. Shoot shoot shoot, Baby Crazy I knew you would do this, I knew you would go out and get all rowdy at Quad Party and get dirtpregnant. Well, I told you so! How does that feel? ... ugh. Hold on now ... who is the father? Is it ... it is ... it’s me. Damn. Well, in that case, I have thought long and hard about this and I have an action plan. Come September we will move into the Owen Suite, converting the common area into a nursery. Also, I have spoken with the Dean in case something like this happened, and he has expressed his willingness to sponsor a work-study position for live-in nanny. We will take part-time classes from now on and make our own baby food from a mash of the fruits and vegetables in Strachan. I have a blender.

Our love child will make us strong, Lucat not spayed Mr. Knowledge Factory, Is it possible to graphically demonstrate that the quality of Duranswers has declined in recent issues?

Best Regards, Math Man Dear Math Man, Yes. The data fits the Heaviside function reflected in the y-axis, translated 7 units to the right, you jerk.

Grumble, Lucat ze Washed-up Kitty

Hey there, buddy pal Lucat!

You know me, I love student politics, but mostly I just love to give back to the Trinity Community as a whole (call me crazy, but I love this place. Love). Now, I did run for elections in Week One, Two and Three, yes, and I was unsuccessful in winning a position, true, but that

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Larissa Parker • Pirates, Maybe - but Terrorists?

Op-ed: Debunking the misconceptions surrounding

the SSCS

By: Larissa Parker

Pirates, Maybe - but Terrorists?

Illustration: Alyssa Stovis-Hauer With the TCES promoting their recent fundraising event and guest speaker in support of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS), many students raised concerns about the Sea Shepherd’s status as an eco-terrorist organization, whose violent approaches to environmental sustainability contradict everything learned in Peace, Conflict and Justice Studies. In my attempts to convince those arguing against the organization’s valuable work that this status is not in fact deserving, many brushed me off. They said, “the ends don’t justify the means”. I was disheartened to find that while these students were so quick to judge the SSCS, they did not come to the speaker event to get more informed.

The SSCS is the most active international non-profit organization employing direct and innovative tactics to expose and confront the illegal poaching activities that are occurring on the oceans. For the past thirty-five years, the SSCS has been protecting endangered species such as sharks, dolphins, and sea lions all over the world. Their primary intention is to shut down all illegal exploitation of marine wildlife and habitats. SSCS staff and volunteers use direct measures to stop illegal poachers. These include confiscating illegally obtained shark fins, pulling long-lines with baited hooks, and cutting as many nets as possible to free captured animals.

SSCS is also infamous for its radical approaches, like ramming the ships of illegal poachers who refuse to cooperate with the organization.

If you want to stop pirates, you need pirates to do it

These direct-action strategies are often considered to be unnecessarily aggressive and morally impermissible. Some critics have called SSCS an eco-terrorist organization, but I would argue that this is a profound exaggeration. Despite the organization’s direct and aggressive in-

terventions, its tactics are in no way malicious.

The SSCS is trying to stop the violence committed by poachers globally. Moreover, the SSCS is not political. Its goals are to promote justice for animals and the environment. The organization represents the dolphins, sea lions, whales, sharks and all other aquatic species that are being killed for profit around the world. In no way is this organization terrorizing innocent people. Although the illegal poachers are now having a harder time in illegally profiting off the slaughter of these animals, there have been no physical injuries caused to humans by the organization. Therefore, the allegations that the SSCS is a terrorist organization are both fallacious and uninformed.

It is for this exact reason that Paul Watson, the founder of SSCS and an initial founding member of Greenpeace, began the SSCS. He felt that the non-violent demonstrations that Greenpeace were leading could not accomplish enough. In countless interviews, Watson explained that he dropped his sign in the middle of a demonstration to grab two seals because he wanted to save their lives instead of watch them die while protesting on the sidelines. Watson has famously stated, “If you want to stop pirates, you need pirates to do it”, emphasizing that while many organizations have the common goal of ending illegal poaching, the SSCS is the most effective because its dedicated team does what is necessary to create real change.

The organization represents the dolphins, sea lions, whales, sharks and all other aquatic species that are being killed for profit around the world

Many individuals question whether the direct approaches that the organization takes are truly necessary. Some contest the SSCS by arguing that since the largest conservation organizations in the world, like Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Fund, do not employ direct and aggressive strategies, the SSCS should not either.

However, these people forget that although these organizations are effectively increasing awareness about the conservation issues around the world, illegal poaching has not declined because of this indirect action. The mentalities of poachers who have taken it upon themselves to skin seals alive do not change because of a group of individuals waving signs in the air begging, “Stop Killing”.

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The SSCS is doing incredible work to save marine ecosystems that are being terrorized by poachers. Many are unaware of how indispensible life in our oceans is to their human survival.

Few realize that every second breath we take is generated by phytoplankton in the ocean. Furthermore, an alarming number of individuals are unaware that the lives of sharks, dolphins, and seals also play essential roles to our survival because they are keystone species. If a keystone species is eliminated, the whole ecosystem risks collapse. “If the oceans die, we die” is on the end of every SSCS campaign. By safeguarding the biodiversity of the balanced ocean-ecosystems, Sea Shepherds strive for the betterment and sustainability of humankind. How terrorizing!

Salterrae • April 2014

Trinity Elections The Case for Campaigning By: Iris Robin

The start of the elections season inevitably elicits the response: “no campaigning!”

But why? Do we hate the obnoxious self-promotion? Are we apathetic towards elections, and wish that everyone would stop talking about them? Do we think that candidates do not need to campaign, and should run purely on established merit? If your answer to any of these questions is ‘yes,’ then your anti-campaign feelings are shared with the majority of the college.

Beyond the Heads’ position papers and the candidate statements for other elections, campaigning was not permitted at Trinity until 2 years ago. In February 2012, the Trinity College Meeting (TCM) voted to allow limited campaigning. Now, candidates may campaign by means available to all. Yet, the traditional no campaigning bias still persists, and many enthusiastic and well-qualified candidates are sometimes denied votes out of disdain for campaigning, even when they act in accordance with the Electoral Policy.

Do we hate the obnoxious self-promotion?

This widespread sentiment against campaigning is strangely baffling. It is also harmful; the dislike for campaigning places emphasis solely on a candidate’s prior involvement and their personality, detracting from their platform.

While factors such as whether or not a candidate is well-liked should certainly be taken into account when voting, they are not the most important. In fact, they disadvantage the student who would like to become more involved in the Trinity community, but is not already involved in Trinity’s social and political life. A common complaint during the elections season is that it is a mere popularity contest, based on personal connections rather than strong ideas for improvement.

To draw a contrast: the Elections Procedure Code, used in University of Toronto Students’ Union (UTSU) elections, allows campaigning. If the UTSU elections were conducted according to the rules that govern Trinity elections, the slate that includes incumbents would al-

ways win by virtue of their record of involvement, and their names. The election was painfully close, with one candidate from the opposition slate securing a space, and two others losing by less than a 50-vote margin. Before the election, most members of Team Unite were largely unheard of, with their contestation legitimized by campaigning.

This year, The Varsity was able to confirm reports of the incumbent slate recruiting members from institutions affiliated with the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) to campaign on their behalf during the UTSU elections. It is no surprise that the slate with the support of a multi-million dollar organization emerged victorious. This introduces the issue of inequality, a more serious concern associated with unbridled campaigning. A better argument against campaigning would therefore be to open discussion about how it privileges students who have access to high-quality resources over those with more limited means.

However, the concern about having greater campaigning result in means-driven platforms does not mean campaigning should be dismissed; there is an answer to this problem. If campaigning were ever allowed, the candidates should not be permitted to use their own funds, nor any external funds. The Student Capital Campaign Committee (SCCC) could choose to set up a campaign fund, whereby money would be allocated according to which week the election was held, with Week One candidates receiving the most money, followed by Week Two, then Week Three. Limits on poster quantity and type would be imposed; the usage of goods, food, or animals for campaign purposes would be forbidden, and candidates would be reimbursed upon proof of expenses being submitted to the TCM Treasurer.

Under these campaign regulations, cross-campaigning would be permitted, ushering in the possibility of heads running as a slate.

The heads already label themselves as a “team,” and the natural next step is to allow candidates to create an organized and cohesive body with a solid group dynamic. This would ensure that all the heads have a desire to work together, and that things run as smoothly as possible. It would stabilize the team, members of whom would have to compromise on divisive issues. Not only would this system prioritize the needs and desires of the college, it would ensure greater financial accountability. The budget of the heads team under this potential system is a separate discussion, but I imagine that the team would operate under a single budget and that they would apportion their

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funds to different causes and services as they saw fit.

Candidates who express a desire to hold a position are met with horror. Heaven forbid that someone would actually admit to wanting to be elected! This culture at Trinity frustrates and angers me. To me, the most basic quality in the ideal student leader is their commitment to their position. The introduction of campaigning would facilitate candidates’ expression of their desire in a non-codified way, and hopefully end the disdain when the candidate demonstrates an investment in their cause.

Such attempts to stifle discussion are disgraceful, unfair, and corrupt.

Furthermore, when candidates are allowed to discuss their prospective positions, opportunities for discussion on the part of the voters are increased. A great number of people, mostly in first year, are overwhelmed by the constant shouts of “no campaigning!” from upper-year backbenchers. They asked me whether they were allowed to discuss the elections at all.

The fact that other students would misrepresent the rules of the election to this degree is disappointing. This speaks to the fact that enacting limited campaigning has done little to end the prejudice around campaigning, enabling a culture of intimidation whereby even the discussion of elections is misconstrued as campaigning.

Such attempts to stifle discussion are disgraceful, unfair, and corrupt. Simply put, Trinity students should be informed voters. Discussion is productive and engages more people.

The voting turnout rises, and the results of the election more accurately reflect the opinion of the student body. That’s democracy in action.

I hope that Trinity will embrace the passion that its politics so deserve; It is high time we faced our prejudice against campaigning and accepted its practical benefits. Campaigning would allow for a fairer, platform-oriented election that would place the collective interests of the college before fondness for an individual. It would encourage conversation and bring about new election procedures, improving the operation of the college overall. So, I ask you again: why do you hate campaigning?

Andison and Modi • Addressing the Issue of Headship

Addressing the Issue of

Headship

Leveling the Playing Field While Maintaining Integrity By: Patrick Andison and Pujan Modi In the most recent issue of the Salterrae, Meghan Peterson wrote an article arguing that “Trinity College should raise the honorarium for heads, waive residence fees for resident heads, and reform reimbursement methods” in order to remove the financial barriers involved in running for a student Head position. The article spurred many a Strachan discussion and forum question. It raised certain important points about the issue, but failed to provide a concrete solution for alleviating the problem.

The problem at hand is about incentives. As a community, we expect a lot from our Student Heads as leaders, both in student government and social life. We have a serious vetting process, which includes forums, position papers, and some subtle campaigning. As students who have been through all of this, we can say that the election process is highly stressful, not to mention the job itself. What we want out of our extensive vetting process are sincere candidates, ready to give large chunks of their time and effort to the College, who take ownership and pride in their positions, and who actively pursue them for the benefit of their community.

We do not want to create disincentives that prevent good candidates from running. Conversely, we also do not want to create incentives that lead to students running for the wrong reasons.

The current model has issues. All Heads have to pay the usual residence fees - which are upwards of $12,000 - and end up owing large amounts of money throughout the year due to the TCM’s reimbursement process. The authors, for example, each owed over $2,000 at some point over the year. For those from financially disadvantaged backgrounds who do not receive major scholarships, serious financial barriers unquestionably exist. This should not be something that

prevents a person from running for a position. Neither do we want to completely subsidize residence, however. Such a policy creates an inappropriate incentive for people to run, and unfairly benefits those who are financially privileged. We want people to run for positions for which they wish to run, regardless of financial status. Therefore, we should eliminate the disadvantage of being from a less privileged background, and that alone.

We want people to run for positions for which they wish to run, regardless of financial status.

Additionally, waiving residence fees implies that non-resident Heads are secondtier. Such a policy might influence candidates who consider themselves suitable for the nonresident Heads positions to run for the resident positions instead. That is, unless we are prepared to give them considerable monetary remuneration or offer to pay their rent. We do not advocate for either of those alternatives. Instead we present a solution that would confidentially allow incoming heads to apply for cost of residence living grants, along with transportation grants for non-residents, through the Registrar.

The TCM currently supports a number of bursaries and endowments through programs like WUSC and Frosh Week bursaries. These programs are administered by College staff in order to preserve student confidentiality and allow for indiscriminate distribution. It is within the purview of the TCM to establish a permanent “Heads Bursary” in order to alleviate the afore-

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mentioned financial barriers. A “Heads Bursary” could financially compensate individuals up to 50% of their living expenses or travel expenses, assuming the demonstration of significant financial need. The Registrar’s Office has experience dealing with similar matters of students applying for Trinity grants which require individuals to demonstrate financial need. This bursary would give financial security to socioeconomically underprivileged candidates in a confidential manner, while ensuring we do not incentivize candidates to run for serious and influential positions for the wrong reasons. As two current Heads, we are aware of the responsibilities and workload of our roles, and we believe this solution is one that eliminates the financial barriers for candidates while preventing the election of poorly motivated individuals who lack the passion required for their role as Student Heads. We rely on competent, motivated student leaders to foster the continued prosperity and strength of our Trinity Community.

Meghan also discussed the problem of reimbursement for Student Heads and other members of our community in her article. It is our belief that while this is without a doubt a significant issue, and one that should be addressed in the coming years, it is an entirely separate conversation. Even with significantly larger honorariums, future Heads would be in the same position mid-semester as both of us found ourselves at at one point or another — upward of $1,000 in credit card debt, waiting for the TCM reimbursement process to facilitate our cheques. Honorariums are not given until our job is complete and our audits approved, by which point we should already be fully reimbursed.

We therefore advocate for the creation of a “Heads Bursary,” but do not support an increase in honorariums.

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Maddy Torrie • First Year in Review

First Year In Review Written and Illustrated by: Maddy Torrie One year ago I could be found stalking the Trin 1T6 Facebook page, sharing “legally Strachan” with all my Facebook friends, and studying the 2012 Trin life handbook instead of European History. Mostly Ben Crase, in his more youthful days as Head of Arts, accurately portrayed the college in the handbook. Yet in the twilight of my first year, it has become obvious that this PDF was not a completely candid version of the Trinity College first year experience. I suggest the following amendments.

Trinity College Alcohol Policy:

From Welch and Whit Rounds to Massey Wild Vines, most alcohol consumption at Trinity College violates not only the alcohol policy, but standards of propriety. Sadly, there are limits to the relaxed rules of liberal alcohol consumption here at Trinity College. I discovered this first hand at Toga party. Taking swigs out of a lime green flask that says in purple sequins “the party has officially arrived,” in front of a stern female security guard is not recommended.

If you try this you will end up like I did: in Assistant Dean Hogan’s office the next morning looking more like Medusa than a Greek Goddess, and feeling more like Sisyphus than Hercules.

Demerit Points:

While sitting in Adam Hogan’s office, with only pictures of Carter calm my nerves, thousands of thoughts raced through my head.

Will I get expelled? Will I have to run laps and do slave labour like boarding school? Have they already called my parents? Classes haven’t even started yet! But Dean Hogan said that I had two demerit points, which he explained as the Trinity college equivalent of a speeding ticket. That might have made more sense if I had enough real world experience to know how to drive.

Residence:

When I first came to live in third Massey, I was terrified of the sweatered hooligans downstairs. Luckily I could enjoy the peace and quiet of a semi social floor, which was more semi than social. I also learned there are definite stereotypes for every house: Whit is wild, Welch old, Massey is for the boys, and Sub Kirk is infested with Silverfish, which to my surprise, cannot swim. Just remember, when the sorting hat is placed on your head, or if you’re filling out a residence re-application form, make sure you say, “anything but Rowlinson.”

Strachan Hall Dining:

After months of hearing “Sodexo” muttered around the college with a mixture of contempt and fear, I naturally assumed that it was a Trin specific STI. Unfortunately, it turned out to be much more sinister. Once the thrill of ice cream, cheese pizza, and Nanaimo bars wore off, I began to fear the coming meals. That didn’t stop me from Strachan sitting for hours on end and going back from refills of mochachinos (hot chocolate + Vanilla Latte + whipped cream from the waffle bar).

This is because the only thing worse than strachan food is the coming night at the Graham Library with only my PoliSci paper to keep me company.

Let the 1T8s stumble their way through college life The Trinity College Literary Institute:

First year representative Luis Lopez recounts his experience with the illustrious society: “the Lit is a real debating society, especially when it involves jokes about (Prime Minister) Chris’ private parts.” Even if it doesn’t and the jokes fall flat, free beer flows like water, or at least tastes like it.

Kappa Alpha:

Though not technically a Trinity club, this mysterious “brotherhood” forms an essential part of Trinity College’s social fabric. Or more accurately, provides a constant stream of parties during post-Conversant winter blues for Trin Students afraid of socialising with those who are not their own. Prepare for experiences you will never recover from, like my cherished Samsung SIII, which never recovered for its sojourn into the depths of this “literary society’s” toilet.

The Salterrae:

The only publication at the University of Toronto with a greater concentration of Trinity students than the Varsity.

TCAA/SHAA

Remember playing soccer in grade seven when your whole team ostracized you because scored on yourself, as goalkeeper? No? Well maybe its just me then. Anyway, you can relive the glory days of your high school sporting career through the TCAA/SHAA, from inner tube water polo to Rugby. Alternatively, you can order your Trin Apparel and pretend that you “even lift.”

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The James Bond Society:

Dress classy and get inebriated at 5pm.

The goal of every Trinity Student.

The International Relations Society:

Pad your resume while gloriously reliving your Trin One days, when, “I can’t believe Dr. Kislenko gave me an A-, I think he totally hates me.”

Student Governance:

Do you think you are qualified enough to be involved in the complicated world of Trin politics and governance after one week of being a worm? If so, come first year elections you may end up eating a chocolate bar out of Ben Crase’s bare buttocks #solarforlyfe.

Now we have matured a little, there are countless other governance opportunities available. Run for a position in the TCM, North America’s most democratic student body, which probably explains why it gets nothing done. Or try to snag a spot in the Senate or Board of Stewards, whose function is uncertain but will sure sound good when you’re trying to land that summer job with City SIghtseeing. Just remember, no campaigning.

On second thought, maybe the TrinLife handbook does its job they way it is. Let the 1T8s stumble their way through college life, while the second years of 2014-2015 hold our newly acquired wisdom loftily over their heads.

Salterrae • April 2014

From Singing Hymns to Mingling Limbs Romance Throughout The Ages

By: Sonia Liang Illustrations: Emily Jennings & Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer There is a new social phenomenon that has become popular in the past few months. A mobile app to find singles in your area, it seems to work much better than Match.com or eHarmony - at least among Trin students and everyone else in their teens or twenties.

There is swiping involved. Some people even prefer it to Snapchat when they find themselves bored and procrastinating. Have you heard of the Tinder?

If you have not, Tinder is a wonderful app that works like a modern day shopping cart, but for hookups. Looking for singles within one kilometer of you? 5’7 to 5’10? They like DDR? Check. If it takes you awhile to find someone that suits your particular tastes, keep swiping. The app may also be used to find new friendships, but let me break it to you right now: that scene is rough. You might want to stick to Facebook for friends until something better comes along.

Tinder is perhaps not as revolutionary an idea as one may think; subtract the technology, add a some misogynistic norms, rewind a few centuries, and you will find that all those Renaissance lords, ladies, squires, and peasants were using similar methods to seek companionship. Although ‘wife wanted’ ads really kicked off in the 19th century, you can go all the way back to 1695; an age where a young gentleman suitor of five and thirty years of age placed an advertisement looking for “a good young gentlewoman with a fortune of at least 3000 pounds. Shapely ankles preferred.”

After 1870, there were 20 weekly or monthly papers made up entirely of lonely hearts ads.

Over time, things got better: in 1787, a respectable lady who knew exactly what she wanted posted the following: “He must never drink above two bottles of Bordeaux at one sitting, and that but three times a week. His education must be liberal, and his address captivating. He must never get up after twelve, or rise before nine o’clock.”

By the late 1800s, these ads flooded the press; after 1870, there were 20 weekly or monthly papers made up entirely of lonely hearts ads. With that of course comes a bit of trolling: for example, a group of schoolboys from Harrow School passed themselves off as a rich and beautiful lady, and got responses from over 50

hopeful suitors. They set all of the suitors up on a date with the fictional lady, where they did not run into her, but into each other. Or this bizarre twist: in 1863, the Shoreditch Observer had a post saying “Marriage. The advertiser wishes to meet a woman who has but one leg.”

The relationship ad market gradually picked up steam. In the 1930s, marriage bureaus were set up. In 1949: Stanford University created the first computer matching service, resulting in the match of 98 students. In the next decades, the dating scene exploded into the world of Internet and cable TV. The show The Dating Game was a huge hit in the States, as is its sister show, Blind Date, in Britain. In 1995, Match.com was launched. Tinder itself was launched in 2012. A year later, people have used it to rate one another 13 billion times.

So, what has been the Trinity experience with Tinder so far?

For the green and inexperienced Tinder user, the importance of a good tagline should never be underestimated. One fellow Trinity student, who prefers to be known simply by his initial, L, was confused by the few numbers of matches he had made so far. “I mean, I have got nice cheekbones, I am not balding, and I work out. I have the generic first-glance good looks that Tinder chicks love.” Inquiring into what else he had put onto his profile, he showed me his witty, come-hither tagline:

“I am like a wild horse. You cannot tame me. You put the oats in the pen though, and I will come in for a nibble every day. But the minute you shut the gate, I will jump the fence and you will never see me again.”

A word of advice to my dear friend L, and all of you: this will not work. Horse and oat analogies as a way of broadcasting your sexual availability are a terrible idea. But bonus points for creativity and going with the untameable farm animal metaphor.

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In response, he changed his tagline to the following:“Just saved a baby seal. What’s up.”

I am not sure what’s up with L’s animal fascination, but this one got him back in the game. Not only that, he quickly struck up conversation with like-minded conservation enthusiasts with a passion for red pandas, organic shampoo and green goddess bowls from Fresh.

Another user wanted to share some thoughts with the Salterrae about what Tinder can and should be used for:

“The common misconception about Tinder is that it is just a hookup app, whose sole purpose is to let you skip the drunken bar encounter fueled by liquid courage and cut right to the chase. When you meet someone at a bar you are already basing your judgement off of pretty shallow indicators - are they good looking and somewhat witty in the ten minutes of conversation you’ve had before you start to furiously make out on a bar stool? Tinder allows you to make the same judgements, but gives you a much bigger dating pool to swim in.

However I like to think that Tinder is more than just a lead up to a one night stand. It offers us the possibility to talk to people we may never otherwise encounter in our day to day life, caught up as we are with classes and what not. Also, you can be as selective as you want before deciding to meet someone in person.”

“So in which ways do you try to be selective?” I asked.

“Easy. I have a 3.5 GPA requirement.”

I thought that sounded pretty steep. He reassured me however, saying, “Don’t worry, I accept unofficial transcripts.”

For all you gals looking for an intellectually stimulating encounter with a dollop of pretension, this is your guy.

Amanda Greer • Cocktails

Cocktails By: Amanda Greer Illustrations: Claire Shenstone-Harris

As the school year draws to a bittersweet close, many Trinitrons find themselves feeling a little run down, worn out, and in desperate need of a stiff drink. You are not alone. We are all drowning in exams. Next year will be the same, and we will return to the only lifeboat at this time of year: Quad Party.

The infamous Quad Party: like Toga Party but much colder, longer, and less dignified. To prepare for next year’s salacious event and the six hours of German house music that will come with it, I have created some cocktails inspired by the illustrious houses of Trinity College. Be careful, though—these drinks are not for the faint of heart. They are strictly for those without dignity and shame.

The Welch Whacker (aka The Irish Car Bomb, in honour of our very Irish and happy-footed Head of Arts): You will need: ½ shot of Irish Whiskey ½ shot of Irish Cream ½ pint Irish Stout Consensual destruction of the liver

To make: Float the whiskey on top of the Irish cream in a shot glass, then BOMBS AWAY (too soon?) and drop the shot glass into your Irish stout.

Best served: While wearing a tuxedo, for ironic juxtaposition and to build pseudo-masculinity.

The Whit “WOOOO” Girl You will need: 1 oz White Rum 1 oz Malibu Rum 2 oz Pineapple Juice 2 oz Strawberries 2 oz Coconut Cream 1 Banana 1 oz of “WOOOOOOOO!”

To make: Blend the rums and the strawberries until smooth. Pour into a glass. Then, blend the banana with the coconut cream and pineapple juice with crushed ice until smooth. Pour into the rum glass. Optional: Garnish with a pineapple wedge, because OHMYGOD, we should totally go to the Dominican next reading break.

Best served: With a “We’re having more fun than you, just look at my Facebook photos!” attitude.

The Cosgrave Cougar (A drink for the ladies who have got their eyes on a slightly younger prize): You will need: ½ oz Sour Puss Rasberry Liquor ½ oz Crème de Bananes

To make: Just throw it together—it is not fancy, but it gets the job done.

Best served: During a steamy frolic on the Quad Couch.

The Massey Mangria You will need: 3 Cups Red Wine 1 Cup Vodka 1 Cup Orange Juice

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Lemon Wedge 6 Litres of Homosocial Bonding

To make: Mix it in some sort of large container and prepare to lose all sense of self.

Best served: In matching outfits while shamefully recalling the mistakes made at the Wild Vines Party from 2014.

The Strachan Suckerpunch (aka an Old-Fashioned aka the essence of a Trinity student): You will need: 2 oz Bourbon or Rye Whiskey 1 tsp. Superfine Sugar 2-3 Dashes of Bitters 1 tbsp. of Superiority Complex

To make: Place the sugar in a glass and douse with bitters. Add a few drops of water and stir until the sugar dissolves. Add the whiskey, stir, and toss in a couple of ice cubes.

Best served: In a white ceramic Strachan mug alongside a plate of processed, unnaturally rectangular meats while discussing how excited you are to be finished with Trin One.

Come April fourth 2015, the time will arrive once again to put cocktails to the test – to go out with a bang and forget how lonely you will become when all of your friends leave for their unpaid internships, and inpreparation for May, when you may have to make polite conversation with the high school friends who went to Western that, admittedly, you have somewhat forgotten probably because they are scared of cities and seek suburban refuge whenever possible. So grab some Mangria, or maybe a WOOOOO Girl, and I will see you on the Quad steps amidst a flurry of laser lights, smoke, and disheveled undergraduates.

Salterrae • April 2014

‘The Science of Health’ & ‘Health and Society’:

Trinity’s Latest Foray into the World of the ‘One’ Programs By: Marcus Tutert and Kaleem Hawa Illustration: Guy Taylor “It’s sort of a scientific experiment of its own.”

With the announcement that current Law Faculty Dean Mayo Moran will serve as Trinity College’s 15th Provost in the coming years, Dr. Michael Ratcliffe’s tenure in the interim is coming to an end.

Nevertheless, the excitement in his voice is palpable as he discusses Trinity’s two newest “One” streams – a symbol of his lasting legacy to the College and commitment to academic programming for its life- and health science communities.

Next year, for the first time, two science based Trinity One streams will run alongside the existing public policy, international relations and ethics streams that represent the majority of first year seminar programming at the College.

Dr. Ratcliffe spiritedly goes on to explain his motivation for creating these new streams.

“Life science students comprise more than one third of Trinity’s undergraduate population. This new programming is simply taking advantage of an opportunity to provide exciting classes similar to those that humanities and social science students have been provided through the other Trin One streams. This represents truly untapped potential.”

Having previously served as Chair of the university’s Immunology Department, Dr. Ratcliffe understands the unique challenges faced by these students.

“Typically, life science students spend their time in massive classes with multiple choice exams and little opportunity to interact with faculty. In this way, the incredibly successful ‘One program model’ can help break the monotony. Providing small classes, opportunities to write, and chances to interact with professors will be exceptionally important.”

When asked to explain the organization surrounding the streams, and their different focus, Dr. Ratcliffe is quick to emphasize their interdisciplinary nature.

“What struck me was not just the quality of the One streams, but the way the streams interacted with each other. As a result, the first of the life science streams (Science of Health)

focuses more on practical nature of scientific research and its interactions with human health while the second (Health and Society) is tailored more toward the relationship between science, health policy and global health.”

In particular, Dr. Racliffe’s piqued when asked about the on novel ways of learning and proaches to prepare researchers

enthusiasm is streams’ focus real-world apfor the future.

“Our goal in the Science of Health stream is to take students through the entire research pipeline. How do you come up with a grant? We’ll get students to write a grant. How does peer-review work? The members of the class will have to peer review the grants. Then what? Well you have to have a budget and plan logistics. At the end of it all, the class gets to holistically discuss each other’s proposals and vote on their favorites.”

Life science students comprise more than one third of Trinity’s undergraduate population.

Much of the planning and implementation of this new programming has gone through Trinity’s Office of the Registrar.

Nelson De Melo is a name familiar to many.

He has served as the College’s registrar under numerous Provosts and is tireless in his commitment to the College and its students. He is quick to laud Dr. Ratcliffe on his efforts.

“In his time here, Michael has had the energy and connections needed to bring this program to fruition. Going from a philosopher to an immunologist as Dean of Arts has been reinvigorating; we completely appreciate the different lens he has brought to the College.”

“It is such a fantastic initiative. Trinity’s life science students are the strongest on campus.

Not to bore you with the details, but if you didn’t have a 92 in high school, you’re not getting into life science at Trinity – I think this focuses us and commits us to improvement.”

De Melo has worked hard to successfully maintain and improve the College’s standing amongst the academic community and is rightfully proud of the high entrance standards that have been established under his tenure. He is accordingly quick to point out the unique model posed by the new streams.

“Splitting up the course load so that students take one FCE in first year and the other in second year helps accommodate students taking notoriously heavy first year science courses.

The move actually reflects increased student interest in longitudinal programming – a sort of “Trinity Two” – that we might see implemented for other students in the future as well.”

De Melo ultimately concludes that the new initiative represents an increased drive to focus Trinity on its life science students.

“We’ve strengthened the number of faculty we have from these disciplines. We’ve seen it seep into our associates and our fellows. It’s all part of an effort to provide greater access and programming to this important community.”

Marcus Tutert and Kaleem Hawa • Health Policy, Scientific Processes and Global Health

One such newly-minted Fellow who researches in both health and political science is Dr. Joy Fitzgibbon. Known to many at Trinity for teaching one of the classes in the current Trinity One International Relations stream, Dr. Fitzgibbon is an expert on global health policy and has agreed to teach a second year class in the new Health and Society stream.

When asked about the nature of her upcoming class, Dr. Fitzgibbon emphasizes the importance of contextualizing real world health policy impacts.

“Global health is an academic area of emerging political importance. With the Millennium Development Goals and substantial financial commitment by the Gates Foundation, it is clear that the sphere is continually expanding.”

She goes on to explain the context in which her students will be evaluating global health problems, and how the connection between science and health leads to different health priorities being set by local governments.

“How do we evaluate the effectiveness of our health care policies? My class will look at prescriptions for future reform; it will assess how the World Health Organization, national Ministries of Health, and private organizations interact with each other.”

Dr. Fitzgibbon is also thrilled to talk about the opportunities that the course will present to its students.

Our goal in the Science of Health stream is to take students through the entire research pipeline.

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“We will have these co-curricular lunch events where we can take advantage of all the great researchers within Toronto. We can also do intersciplinary talks. Talks that link the science and health science people, with the policy students. There are a lot of issues that stand at the intersection of the health and policy stream. Our goal is to ensure that the cross pollination is fruitful.”

When asked about how to structure the interdisciplinary approach of the course, Dr. Fitzgibbon was adamant about the different areas of focus that the students should be exposed to.

“In order to do my PhD, I had to do courses in the faculty of global health, statistics, and epidemiology. This is how you develop particular tools for your own research. Reading medical journals, public health reports, and data from different international institutes, will help student develop these tools for themselves.”

As the interview comes to a close, it is clear that significant amounts of hard work are being put into this new program. Whether from Michael Ratcliffe, Nelson De Melo, or Joy Fitzgibbon – Trinity’s renewed commitment to life science students is a laudable goal for a modern student body.

Salterrae • April 2014

Into The Woods, onto the stage By: Emma Smith Photography: Donald Belfon We are all familiar with the little girl in the red hood, the boy who climbs the beanstalk, the girl who loses her shoe, and all manner of fairytale personalities—from creepy witches to lowly bakers. Into the Woods draws from these sources and links them together to upend the traditional fairytale formula. This Sondheim-Lapine spectacle is energetic, outrageous, and sometimes sentimental.

I think these three adjectives

adequately describe the process and the people involved with the Trinity College Dramatic Society’s mounting of Into the Woods this year. If you saw the show, you experienced the glitzy and exuberant finished product. Beneath the bravado of the competitive princes, Little Red’s teakettle screams, and the howling of wolves, another story can be heard. This story is hidden behind the flashy costumes, spirited jazz hands, white cows, and assorted other elements that make up the performance. What you see on the stage is just one part of the process.

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Emma Smith • Into The Woods, Onto the stage

Since I was lucky enough to be cast as everybody’s favourite rags to riches bird lady, I can recount my perspective of the story behind the scenes.

A production starts with the vision of one person and takes off from there. When the TCDS gave director Peter Perri the opportunity to stage Into the Woods, he assembled a team of passionate individuals. It is impossible to mention everyone involved and express the magnitude of each person’s contributions. The best I can do is share my own experiences behind the scenes as a way to paint a complete picture of the production process.

After being cast, all the performers attended the first readthrough. We were acquainted with the show and with each other over croissants and mojitos at Peter’s house. After that, it was a whirlwind of rehearsals; every movement, every breath, and every note was fine-tuned by our hardworking mentors. By the time we had the contrapuntal harmonies on point, polished the blocking to precision, and fooled everyone into thinking we were good dancers, it was time to move into the George Ignatieff Theatre.

The move to the theatre is always an exciting point of the process, and the GIT staff are always wonderfully accommodating and helpful.

Once the show moves into the space, everyone can sense the shift from abstract ideas to concrete realities that will—barring catastrophe—comprise the final product. The process starts to ramp up; more time is spent in the theatre, less time is spent doing schoolwork, and eager anticipation becomes the resounding sentiment.

The Sitzprobe is a crucial moment in the show-staging process because the band and performers rehearse together for the first time. Sitzprobe never runs completely smoothly.

Finding the perfect percussive sound

to vocalize milk dripping into a pail is certainly troublesome; but all the kinks are straightened out eventually.

As opening night looms, the process further accelerates. Costume pieces are accumulated, sets are built, dance floors are laid, stunts are coordinated, advertisements are posted, and more and more people put in their time and energy to get the show stage-ready.

The first tech/dress rehearsals are always high energy; lighting and sound cues add a new and exciting dimension.

I smile whenever I think about how hard we all tried to hold back the tears during our last performance and how miserably we all failed to do so by curtain call.

Before I knew it, I found myself walking into the GIT on opening night, my bag filled with dance shoes, make-up wipes, and nerves.

The dressing rooms are a hive of activity. We get into costume and get all of our props ready, accompanied by an assortment of pump up songs. One of my personal favourites during the run was Hall & Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True”.

The hair and makeup stylists spend two hours before every show beautifying the cast, which is undoubtedly a challenge. Even after the show has started, they wait armed with brushes, powders, and various concoctions to do touch ups and make changes as the script calls for them.

My transformation from floor-scrubbing servant to princess happens in a matter of minutes. During this

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time, the stylists—also known as real live fairy godmothers—manage to completely change my makeup and execute an elaborate updo.

It is crucial to warm up physically and vocally before every performance. In other words, we all end up looking like we belong in an 80s workout video and sounding like we belong in a zoo.

Many members of the cast have pre-show rituals; some have a favourite song to listen to, some grasp a good luck charm. Before every show, I like to grab everyone within arms’ reach for a group huddle. We take a moment to breathe and focus before rushing up the stairs into our first positions.

Now that the show is over, it is nice to commit to memory all the behind the scenes moments that made the experience so memorable. I loved dancing along to “It Takes Two” with my onstage stepfamily as we waited in the wings for our next entrances.

It was thrilling to watch the assistant stage managers lip-sync along to the songs from backstage; they knew every word. I always giggle when I think about the cast prank involving Alyssa’s consumption of a gummy toe. I smile whenever I think about how hard we all tried to hold back the tears during our last performance and how miserably we all failed to do so by curtain call.

There is so much more to a performance than the final product. So many people put their blood, sweat, and tears into it, oftentimes in a literally painful way. All of this passion is what gives the show life. From there, we get the memorable moments that make being involved with a show so wonderful. Being part of a show in any capacity is an energetic, outrageous, and sometimes sentimental experience. I would highly recommend it.

Salterrae • April 2014

Black Tie Breakdown NO CLIP-ONS By: Patrick Harris, Esq. Illustration: Alyssa Stokvis-Hauer “Let me begin by saying that I am becoming increasingly disappointed with what I am seeing the men of College wearing.” - Graham Bevans 1T1

This was the opinion of my friend Graham Bevans, 1T1, writing in the Salterrae during the winter of 2008. Regrettably, the sage advice which followed his dismal appraisal of College style has passed from institutional memory. This post-Conversat Season, I would like to offer my humble insight into the world of formal black tie attire, in the hope that the Men of College might profit from the wisdom I have aquired over my time at Trinity. Should any women of College also want to don black tie apparel—a practice of which I heartily approve—I hope my advice will serve them equally well. Did you see Ellen DeGeneres’ hosting at the Oscars?

To begin: why black tie? Would business attire not do just as well? It would not. Special occasions call for special attire. To wear business attire — the work wear one dons to brave the harsh, fluorescently-lit cubicles of an office — to an evening of dining, drinking, and dancing makes no sense at all. We must think differently.

Black tie’s cornerstone is the tuxedo itself. This consists of a dinner jacket and trousers cut of black or dark navy wool, silk lapels with a matching

Understatement is the goal, as with all accessories. stripe down the trouser seam. It must, of course, be expertly tailored. The tailcoat is not black tie dress, and cannot correctly be worn in place of a dinner jacket. The trousers ought never to be worn with a belt. They should be held up with

suspenders – provided that they do not clip-on.

There are many styles of tuxedo.

For the traditional look, I recommend a singlebutton jacket with either peak or shawl lapels.

These types of jackets are derived from military dress and smoking jackets, and as such they are equally suitable for socializing and celebrating. A double-breasted jacket with peak lapels would also be appropriate, as demonstrated by royal beauties like Prince Charles, William and Harry. A cream-coloured jacket can be dapper if

worn properly. Entirely white tuxedos, however, are out. Such jackets belong only in Zoolander.

The shirt worn with the aforementioned tuxedo should be clean and bright white, with either pleats or heavy, textured cotton known as marcella on the front. This shirt should allow for studs: no buttons. It should have french cuffs, and a turndown collar as opposed to a wing-tip collar. This latter type of collar is stereotypically associated with black tie, but tends to be small, limp, and generally unsuitable for wear with an adjustable bow tie.

A further note: do not wear a black shirt when everything else you’re wearing is equally dark.

Tuxedo shoes should always be of black, meticulously polished or patent leather.

They should also have leather rather than rubber soles. Finally, shoes worn with a tuxedo should also be relatively low-profile. Understatement is the goal, as with all accessories. A simple black silk bow tie should be worn rather than a long tie,

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so that the white of one’s shirt is not obscured or divided. The bow tie should always be tied by the same person who wears it. We are all at Trinity College and are therefore capable of learning at least a single knot between our International Relations classes. On the subject of neckwear, there is never a good reason to wear an ascot.

A black cummerbund or low-cut waistcoat should also be worn, so that the only part of one’s shirt showing is what is above the button of one’s jacket. This creates a streamlined appearance with the additional benefit of looking good whether or not the jacket is buttoned.

To all this, one might add a pocket square of white linen or crimson silk, or, if particularly bold and capable, a red carnation – just the flower, no greenery – pinned to the lapel.

On the subject of neckwear, there is never a good reason to wear an ascot.

Black tie has a surprisingly rich and varied history.

While what I have written here is by no means authoritative, I think it will serve handily as an introduction for the College. If I have convinced even one reader to abandon clip-on bow ties, I shall consider this article to be successful.

Tales from the Campaign Trail • Christian Mederios

Tales from the Campaign Trail By: Christian Mederios February is the month that best embodies Trin: community, service, involvement, and vicious politics. Unlike our southern counterparts, our election campaign is short and not so sweet. High pressure, malleable campaigning rules and the chance to serve the college in the toughest and most thankless capacity possible bring out both the best and worst in our fellow Trinitrons. To find out what this gruelling challenge is like, the Salterrae sent a survey to Heads candidates, asking them to recount the highs and lows of their time on the campaign trail.

The election started out with the position papers. Candidates sat anguishing in their rooms worried about the specifics of the most important document at Trin short of the constitution. Connor Anear sat sweating in front of his screen, “should I keep the Trin watermark? Does using ‘indeed’ a total of six times alienate my rural base?” At 11pm, just before handing in his paper, Aditya Rau had a premonition. The photo of him as a frosh leader included a t-shirt emblazoned with the word ‘trinnis’. He couldn’t give recognition to a lesser college, so instead he opted for a photo including his trusty Trin sweater, as well as an apple on his head (to show his spontaneous and fun disposition). Sebastian Dutz, taking a glance at Ben Crase’s 2013-14 eggshell vermillion font position paper, had to compete.

He got his 2lb wide stock, bone shell full color Garamond in right at 11:59. Stephanie Lim– Reinders hammered away on photoshop. Her photo had to be perfect, black and white, Gaussian Bloor, with a slight illumination on top.

The primaries started off slow. The Trinity College Environmental Society party at Kappa Alpha was the first on the docket. Mac took a break from his hard rhetoric and twerked the night away. Aditya and Connor spent their night smoking djarum cigarillos in a dark corner of the red room, speaking with KA officers in attempts to secure Kap Super Pac funding.

Massey Rounds were the next primary. Aditya Rau and Mac, competing for the position of Interior Minister, both tried to control the security who tried to shut down the party. Victoria Reedman, a staunch democrat, used her Kaleem Hawa Super PAC funding to buy pizza for the drunk and hungry souls on Massey.

Whit Rounds as usual were the toughest primary of them all. With all of Trinity in attendance, the fourth floor became a hot bed of wheeling and dealing. Stephanie served “a cake filled with rainbows and smiles”. She hoped everyone would eat and be happy. Unfortunately her generosity only lead to Patrick “free-market loving” Andison cleaning up vomit – 5 shots of rainbow juice turned out to be too much for Young “Deputy Returning Officer” Raajean to handle. Dryden Bailey, meanwhile, handed out TTC coupons to her NRAC compatriots, in an effort to strengthen her bid for Minister of Transportation.

The debates were heated as ever. In the NRAC foreign policy debate, Ondiek and McCarthy Chin argued over aid for NRACIs. Ondiek, a fun loving Pacifist, wanted unlimited head za’ in the common room, wheareas McCarthy Chin wanted to funnel aid into reviving the Henderson Tower missile program to deter Chairmen of the UTSU from stealing any more Mitres.

The Interior Minster Debate was also heated. Aditya Rau, unexpectedly an evangelical tea partier, demanded sparkling juice for high table receptions. Mac Chapin, a hard hitting revolutionary, planned to break Bourgeoise domination of Massey. Victoria Reedman, ever the moderate, focused on domestic policy priorities.

The Presidential debate was perhaps the most heated. Seb, Connor and Pat all disagreed on the best foreign policy to take against Trins perennial Cold War rival the UTSU. Connor Anear, buoyed by Kaleem Hawa Super PAC money, argued to return back to the days of the Greene Doctrine. Pat Andison wanted to put the days of the Crase Doctrine and quiet resistance behind. Seb, an adamant isiolationist proposed a pivot to Hoskin in order to worry about Trin’s immediate sphere of influence including issues such as the encroachment by Law and Kinesiology via their new construction on our borders.

Confidential but recently leaked docuements from the election show some interesting insight into the issues of the campaign. No less than 5 candidates received funding from the Kaleem Hawa Super PAC, Hillary Clinton was the most popular role model, the War with UTSU was widely considered to have been cold, domestic policy became the priority as a reaction to the Forign Policy-heavy years of Greene and Crase. Liberalism in alcohol consumption, the Quad Couch, and Kaleem Hawa were listed by candidates as the strongest beacons of Trinity College exceptionalism. Lastly, Daniel Day Lewis and Morgan Freeman were suggested to be front runners to act in a film about Trin elections and politics.

Some candidates refused to cooperate with the survey, boycotting the Salterrae because they believed it to be the puppet of Hayden Rodenkirchen.

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Salterrae • April 2014

The Myth of Graduation

Written and Illustrated By: Emily Jennings

As final exams approach and elections season wears on, a new wave of stress hits Trinity College. For first years, you are about to encounter your first year finals. Second and third years are running for positions they wish to hold in September. Fourth years are deciding what they will do in the upcoming year.

For many fourth years, this decision was made years ago: a fifth year. If the class of 1T3 is any example, it is clear that an increasing number of very bright and competent students need to take an extra year to complete their degree.

When deciding what university to attend, I chose U of T for the variety of its departments. I saw that in one year I could take Astronomy, Ancient Egyptian History, Celtic Studies, Psychology, and Economics if I desired. There are benefits to having so much variety, and I believe I may have had the broadest education possible in Canada; many of my friends at UBC and McGill are limited to the traditional Philosophy, English, History, and Psychology routes. Instead, I am graduating with a degree in Near and Middle Eastern Civilizations, Classical Civilizations, and Celtic Studies. The trouble is that these degrees were nearly impossible to finish in four years.

At Trinity we value our education for the sake of learning, rather than simply fulfilling breadth and program requirements.

I hear a certain admiration from people when I say I will be graduating after my fourth year. However, I am technically not graduating in the normal “four years”. It is true that I am still graduating in 2014, but I have had to delay graduation until November due to program requisite conflicts. I have also taken summer school for three years to be able to finish my courses in time. The trouble with so many degree options is that we fall into the trap of taking everything that interests us. At Trinity we value our education for the sake of learning, rather than simply fulfilling breadth and program requirements. This is incongruous with the university, however, which seems to constrain our degrees with a large number of required courses.

Outside of program requirements, it is necessary to take twenty full course equivalents (FCEs) to graduate from the University of

Toronto, including 4 out of 5 FCEs in breadth requirements. If you enter without transfer credits, this is the equivalent of five FCEs per year—one FCE more than what is considered a “full course load”. We are then required to follow certain requisites for our programs. If you’re unlucky, this could be seven FCEs for a major, of which one FCE is a language, one is a 400+ level course, and one is a class that is offered only every other year. Then, you multiply by the number of majors you have. This may look ridiculous on paper, but for several departments—especially the smaller ones—it is a reality.

So what are we to do when we run into trouble with our program requirements? To give you an example, my major requires six FCEs, two full 300+ level courses, one full language credit, one FCE at the 100 level and one at the 400+ level.

For many of us, however, indecision from our first year haunts us years later

Doing the math, this means that of my six FCEs, five are requisites. With small departments, there are also fewer choices for classes you can take, and they are rarely offered every year. For instance, Intro to Biblical Hebrew was not offered this year, but was my program language requirement; I therefore taught myself with a tutor last summer for no credit in order to take the Intermediate course.

There sometimes seems to be a system in place that limits our ability to take course we want rather than courses we need. When asking the College Registrar for help—something Trinity prides itself on—we are told that departments have their own autonomy and can set their own rules, requirements, and schedules. Even if the Registrar could help, they couldn’t interfere with de-

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partment regulations. They are there to help you with your overall degree, but if you need help with your program, that is a completely different ball game. Some programs have a great Registrar and can help ease any troubles.

Many however, do not even have a Registrar.

Everyone expects to graduate in four years when they come to U of T, but the reality is that you would need to have several transfer credits, a full course load, and know what your major is by the end of first year if you want to graduate without doing summer school or an extra year. If you have all of this, I commend you. For many of us, however, indecision from our first year haunts us years later. I do not regret my degree for a second, however I wish the university made it easier to graduate in the anticipated timing. There are serious consequences to taking extra time to complete our degrees. OSAP and finances are directly affected by an extra year or semester of tuition, and jobs are harder to find while still in school.

Please do not let this article lower your spirits. It is important to understand what you are getting into over the next few years and how to prepare yourself. Understand your program requirements several years in advance. Know the contact for your program’s Registrar and Undergraduate Chair. Most importantly, know that you are not alone if you have to take extra sessions to complete your degree. Here at Trinity we pride ourselves on being academic—we may just need an extra year to do it.

Spring

Victoria Reedman • Spring Deports

Deports The Fab and the Drab Spring Deports are one of my favourite traditions at Trinity. First years transition from mere worms to Members of College by completing feats of strength assigned by their elders. This event not only brings out the competitive spirit of its participants, but also their style. Some sizzle, some fizzle. Some fashionistas who made brave, yet fabulous, style choices include: Betty White by Pierre Kochel. A statement making piece no doubt, using beiges and whites as a pun off White’s last name, or because Kochel owns few items of coloured clothing. This piece was assigned by the upper years because of Kochel’s constant reference to the “Golden Girls” and deep love and respect for White. But the real question is “Who Wore it Best?” White or Kochel? You decide.

Consider a picture of Betty White next to Pierre as Betty White.

For days since the brawl, the skin of all of the participants has been either glowing or bruised.

Another striking ensemble was that of Miss Courtenay Field, dressed in black from head to toe. This outfit was assigned to Field in memory of her “resistance” phase where Field rejected the concept of popular clothing choices… and colour. Her execution was impeccable, and the statement was made in protest of boat shoes and blazers instead of Hollister and Co.

Thomas Slabon was also seen at the end of deports mud-masked head to toe, with very little bare skin to be seen. Even his shoes were left filled with enough mud to cover a baby

By: Victoria Reedman

Photography: Larissa Parker elephant. This look was mimicked by most upper years who participated in the brawl on Friday. However, Slabon’s ensemble took the cake in terms of commitment. A for effort Slabon, and way to trend set while exfoliating.

Some honourable mentions for style that day include: Peter Fettes, who stormed the event with no shirt at all, a progressive choice that suited him well. Following in Slabon’s footsteps, Fettes was slathered in mud. Iris Robin arrived in her usual, spiky bikini: aggressive in style for a regular day, but perfect for the brawl.

Finally, hairstyles were looking hot at Deports. Notable styles included that of Emily Brade, who was singled out to have at least fif-

Some sizzle, some fizzle teen braids in her hair for the event. This was an amendment to the original motion of five braids given to all 1T7 women, playing off of Brade’s last name of course. The look was further accentuated by the pinning up of Brade’s front bangs, a courageous choice that left her with a foreheaded alter ego. Some honourable mentions in hairstyling include Allie Witt’s milkmaid braid, which made her look like the best of Eastern European chic.

In sum, Spring Deports was a momentous day for 1T7, and for fashion.

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Salterrae • April 2014 ART and LITERATURE What: Hard Twist - The Gladstone’s eighth annual arts and textile show returns to Toronto with a new theme, This is Personal. Curated

by Helena Frei and Chris Mitchell, the show displays a wide scope of objects from the exceptional to the unusual. Textiles that have been included in past years include knits, lint portraits, embroidery, and even a bee beard. This community event features work from a range of participants, showcasing objects from small to large and complex to simple in a variety of materials.

Where: The Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St. W. When: Until April 27.

Cost: Free!

in the best way possible.

Where: The Danforth Music Hall 147 Danforth Ave. When: April 25.

Cost: $35.75.

What: Dressing for Downton - The Spadina Museum presents an exhibit about the fashion featured in the hit television show Downton Abbey. The guided tour goes through the servants quarters, lavish dining room, and elegant drawing room, ending with a look at the exquisite costumes worn in the highly acclaimed period drama. As a part of the Tea and Tour package, the Spadina Museum offers a Downton-inspired menu that includes petit fours, scones with cream and jam, and cucumber sandwiches. The Tea and Tour takes place on Wednesdays and on weekends.

Where: Spadina Museum Historic House and Gardens, 285 Spadina Rd. When: Until April 13.

Cost: From $25.

What: Bombay Bicycle Club – Forget One Direction, this British boy band is for hipsters only, please.

Where: The Danforth Music Hall, 147 Danforth Ave. When: May 3.

Cost: $26.50.

What: James Blunt – Travel back in time to 2004, when his single “You’re Beautiful” was at the top of every teen girl’s charts. This concert also provides an excellent opportunity to see how far this British crooner has come.

Where: The Danforth Music Hall, 147 Danforth Ave. When: April 29 – 30.

Cost: From $51.00.

What: Shlohmo - Beatbox takes on a whole new meaning at the hands (or rather, throat) of

to explore what Queen Street has to offer, if you haven’t done so already. The tour takes one nearly 25 kilometres through six neighbourhoods via North America’s longest surface transit route.

The tour lasts four and a half hours with six stops, revealing Toronto’s many delicious sides.

Where: Tour starts at 1730 Queen St. W. When: Until December 27.

Cost: $69 - The ticket price covers all tastings and transit fare with the guided tour, one of several that Foodies offers to show off the city’s food scene. This is a 19+ event.

What: Baldwin Village Food Tour - Baldwin Street’s bohemian flavour is still very much alive in one of the most diverse strips of restaurants in the city. This tour visits Mexican, Korean, Italian, and many other varying restaurants, showcasing a microcosm of what the city at large has to offer. Aside from finding some neat little spots for your next dinner, you will also learn the local history of Baldwin Village.

Where: Tour starts at the corner of McCaul and Queen.

When: Until June 9.

Cost: $114. This is a 19+ event.

What: Lodge 559 – This recently opened hotspot is conveniently located close to campus, featuring cheap drinks and good music situated near Kensington Market and Little Italy. Perfect for a night off during exams, or to celebrate after the horror has ended.

Where: 559 College St. When: All spring/summer long, only open Friday/Saturday.

Cost: Entry before 11 is free, $5 cover after that.

Goings On About Town

What: Light My Fire: Some Prepositions about Portraits and Photography - Presented in five segments over the course of two parts, Light my Fire features upwards of 200 photographs. Each segment has a different theme united because they are enhanced by the artist’s attention to colour, soft focus, and materials.

Where: The AGO, 317 Dundas St. W. When: Until May 31.

Cost: $11 for students, free on Wednesday nights from 6:30 to 8:30 pm.

MUSIC and THEATER What: Priscilla Ahn – If you have seen 500 Days of Summer, you have likely heard of Priscilla Ahn. This acoustic folk singer will be in Toronto playing at the intimate yet cool venue that is the Drake. This soothing evening is not to be missed.

Where: The Drake Hotel, 1150 Queen St. W. When: May 6, 8 pm.

Cost: $15.

What: Iggy Azalea – Get some of your postexam energy back, or get motivated to finish the final mile with this energetic performer. Her single, “Work”, is sure to get stuck in your head –

By: Simone Garcia this British artist, who started out as a classically trained drummer.

Where: The Opera House, 735 Queen St. E. When: May 3.

Cost: $21.00.

CULTURE What: The Culinary Wizardry of Oz: Ossington Food Tour - One of the city’s most improved areas in the last decade, Ossington Street has grown from a bland series of storefronts to a cultural hotspot with dozens of great restaurants. A tour of the area is the perfect opportunity to see how much it has changed, and try dishes from some of the hottest chefs in the city. Considering how crowded some of these restaurants get, it might be the only way to reserve a seat.

Where: Tour begins on the corner of Queen and Ossington.

When: Until June 8.

Cost: $144.64 – steep, we know, but you get a meal at every stop. This is a 19+ event.

What: 501 Streetcar Food Tour - Toronto has no shortage of great eats, from fine cuisine to quick snacks on the go, and here is the chance

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What: Fifth Annual Salsa Battle – Join the Drake Hotel as it pairs up with hip Toronto restaurants La Carnita, Valdez, Sabrosito, and Supicucu, all vying for the title of Best Salsa in the City. Eat ‘em all up and vote for the tastiest to win the salsa crown, plus wash down the spice with samples of Tromba Tequila.

Where: The Drake Hotel, 1150 Queen St. W. When: April 28, 8 pm.

Cost: FREE SALSA AND TEQUILA! What: The Toronto Chicken Wing Festival – need we say more? Whether flaming hot is your fancy, or you prefer the mild taste of honey garlic, come out this spring to enjoy the best wings the city has to offer. There will also be a selection of locally brewed beer on tap. There is nothing not to love.

Where: Daniel’s Spectrum, 584 Dundas St. E. When: May 4, 1:30 – 5:30 pm.

Cost: $30.