October 2015 by Salterrae

October 2015

A Trintercontinental Journey

Coming Out At Trin

A Frosh and Executive Member Report

Lessons and Experiences from an Upper Year

pg.

John Ibbitson on Stephen Harper

A Trin Alumnus on his and Harperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experiences and struggles at Trinity College pg.

Content

APRIL 2013

OWctober 2015 ALLBALL

21ST CENTURY RUSH PUB Can this tradition align with modern progressive values?

NO ONE PUTS SANA ALI IN A CORNER

The brutal odyssey of Trinity’s blood sport P.

Our exclusive interview on her public departure from Team Renew

Features A Letter from the Editors p. 2 Alumni Christopher Hogendorn p.3 Chez Rau-Di Aditya Rau p.6 Deadlines Hayden Rodenkirchen p. 10

Coming Out at University by:

What one upper year would like to tell first years obout ballancing identities, exclusionary traditions, and ultimately learning to express himself. Pg. 4-5

Mean Girls of Trin Rachel Chen p.11

John Ibbitson

1t9 Reflects on Frosh Week Jullianne DeGara p.12 Fashion and Trinity TCFS p.15

Nathan Chan

by:

Kaleem Hawa

Kaleem Hawa sits down with John Ibbotson to talk about his recent biography of Stephen Harper and the Prime Minister’s time at Trinity College. Pg. 7-9

ONDIFAQ Ondiek Odour p.17 If I wasn’t going to Hell before Marissa Martins p.18 Environment and Equity Francesca Hannan p.19 The Mouldy Klam Damian Klambauer p. 23

Frosh Week 2015: Older, Wiser, Sweatier by:

Frosh week Round 2, as told by leader and director of communications, Sydney Bradshaw. One year older, and not any less fun. Pg. 13-14

Dorms of the Past Emma Smith p. 24 Real Politik Michael Johnston p. 26 Horoscopes Rachel Copp Clark p. 27

Sydney Bradshaw

by:

Episkopon’s Death Wish

Haley O’Shaughnessy & Victoria Reedman

Why Trinity’s dissasociated secrety society is one tradition best left in the past.

Things to Do Around Town Emily Jennings p. 28

Pg. 24

Salterrae • October 2015

APRIL 2013

Masthead

21ST CENTURY RUSH PUB

NO ONE PUTS SANA ALI IN A CORNER

WALLBALL

Can this tradition align with modern progressive values?

The brutal odyssey of Trinity’s blood sport

Editor-in-Chief

Senior Photographer

Senior Copy Editor Simone Garcia

Treasurer Rhiannon Langford

Senior Design Editor

Salterrae Contributors

Salterrae Executive

Columnists Sydney Bradshaw

Madeline Torrie

Sarah Barlow Millman Nikita Gupta Danielle Pal

Design Editors

Amanda La Mantia Terra Morel Adriana Workewych

Our exclusive interview on her public departure from Team Renew

Nathan Chan

Claire Shenstone-Harris

Copy Editors

Rachel Copp Clark Julianne de Gara Simone Garcia Damian Klambauer Marissa Martins Ondiek Odour Trinity College Fashion Society Aditya Rau

Staff Writers

Writers

Christopher Hogendorn Nathan Chan Hayden Rodenkirchen Kaleem Hawa Haley O’Shaughnessy Victoria Reedman Francesca Hannan

Photographers and Illustrators Nathan Chan Trisha de Souza Amanda La Mantia Mirka Loiselle Marissa Martins Claire Shenstone-Harris Giselle Wenban Adriana Workewych

Rachel Chen Kaleem Hawa Michael Johnson Emma Smith

Director of Communications Arjun Gandhi

Letter From The Editors Members of College and Worms, The time has come for us to awake from the dreamy haze of frosh week, where late nights and early mornings can turn even the keenest frosh and their most responsible leaders into zombie-like cretans stumbling into Strachan wearing their frosh kit sunglasses, hungrily searching for their 11am omelet. But not to worry-- chances are that despite a lack of alternative programing you will still spend the next 40 weeks stumbling around in a trance like state, desperately looking for UC167. While you were telling all your soon-to-be friends about your favorite songs and sleeping habits on Facebook last summer, the Salterrae exec was already busy at work collecting the wisdom, bitterness and regrets of Upper Years to diffuse into this hearty cocktail, the first issue of the Salterrae. What we lack in standards, we make up for in “quirkiness,” and we’re always looking for new contributors. So please, make us feel young again by adding some pepper to our salt, and send your articles, photos, or illustrations to salterrae@trinlife.com. 1t9, we’ve been waiting for you. Stay Salty, -Madeline Torrie, Simone Garcia, and Claire Shenstone Harris

Christopher Hogendorn • Home Is Where the Beer Cart Is

Home Is Where the Beer Cart Is Musings From a Crumbly By Christopher Hogendorn 1T4 Illustration: Amanda La Mantia I always knew that I would miss Trinity once I left. I lived in residence for four years, went to every late dinner and high table I could, missed only one meeting of the TCLI and none of the TCM. I ate, slept, and breathed for this college. Being so heavily saturated with all things Trinity, their absence would no doubt bring hardship and anguish, right?

“If you chose to give yourself over to the Trinity community, it will envelop you, so that no matter where you go, you will always have a community which will make you feel comfortable and ‘home’.” Actually, no. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I was certainly nostalgic for free Lit beer and those lingering conversations in Strachan Hall that can

last from brunch to dinner. I just found that I was able to fill those holes with other things across St. George Street at the Faculty of Information. I got involved right away with the student government, joined student chapters of a professional association, a charity, and made friends that had never even heard of Trinity College (a foreign concept to most who have passed beneath the shadows of Trinity’s towers). I was busy and I was happy, and yet, I was lonely and restless. Something was missing. Fast-forward to the end of November. I pulled some strings (read: asked nicely) to get myself on the Bubbly guest list. I had organized the fauxchampagne extravaganza the year before, so I fully intended on reliving my glory days. Instead, aside from feeling really old, while I was watching the students, chatting, reminiscing, I rediscovered what I had lost when I left: my community. What I no longer had in graduate school was the shared experience of being at Trinity College. There is something about Trinity that you can only come close to understanding if you have gone there. You can explain to someone the customs and traditions, and on the face of it, you may think that these things are what makes the college unique. I would posit; however, that these exterior accoutrements are nothing more

than the visible tether that binds us. We do things together, and so it might seem that must be what makes us a group. What is really important is the invisible tether: the community spirit that forms unnoticed beneath the surface, and which you only become aware of when it’s gone.

“Never turn down an opportunity to get involved.” Traditions may come and go but that sense of community and familiarity at Trinity never will, as long as the students keep coming. If you chose to give yourself over to the Trinity community, it will envelop you, so that no matter where you go you will always have a community which will make you feel comfortable and “home”. So, I will tell you what I tell everyone who asks me for unsolicited advice: never turn down an opportunity to get involved. That old saying of “you get out what you put in” is actually, in this author’s experience, so very, very true. Join a club, run for an elected position, or simply attend high tables and other events. Put yourself out there. You have earned your place as a student within these hallowed halls; now it is your job to earn the title of “Member of College”.

Salterrae • September 2015

Coming Out at University The First Year Experience By: Nathan Chan Illustration: Adriana Workewych Okay! “Coming Out 101.” For those unfamiliar, “coming out” describes the process an individual goes through as they reveal to others their nonconformity with heteronormativity. (Heteronormativity describes the tendencies to assume a gender binary, the alignment of gender with sex, and the expectation of heterosexuality and heteroromanticism.) In other words, coming out happens when someone tells others they are transgender, gay, aromantic, or otherwise amongst equally important gender, sexual, and romantic (GSR) identities. The process is continual, strongly influenced by the fluidity of GSR, and occurs every time gender, sexual, and romantic minorities (GSRM) meet new people. Before coming out, GSRM often experience cognitive dissonance from an inability to reconcile the conflicting external heteronormative signals with their internal psyche, causing significant mental distress. Accordingly, coming out represents a step towards acceptance for oneself and rejection of society’s imposition of heteronormativity. To come out is to affirm one’s GSR identities. Please note that the experience I describe focuses on the beginning of the coming out process. Many GSRM who are comfortable with their identity choose not to come out in certain circumstances for various intersecting reasons, such as personal safety or workplace and professional environment considerations.

Coming out will not eliminate the external stressors imposed by society, but it will alleviate some of the internal cognitive dissonance of attempting to assimilate into a heteronormative society. The initial process occurs over in three common revelatory stages: individuals come out to themselves, then to family and friends, and finally to the public. By the time I arrived at Trin, I was at “stage 2” – family and friends. Before coming to university, I was comfortable expressing my gender and sexuality to friends and family; I had not yet achieved sufficient security with my identity to come out publicly. The final revelatory stage presents a tremendous barrier: unlike friends and family, whose support is generally positive, society may be openly hostile to GSRM. Reaching the final stage of coming out represents an acknowledgement of potential GSR-based discrimination. It sounds defeatist, but it is the reality GSRM face. After a number of months stuck in the “friends and family” stage, I decided I was ready to take the final step. I participated in 1T7’s Frosh Week and resolved to no longer hide my sexuality. On the third day I attended the Quad Debate. I wanted to speak. I wanted to share who I was. I stood up, and I talked about a topic which I do not remember to this day. My eyes darted avoiding all contact. My heart pounded harder yet. My fingers and toes were clenched to prevent me from bolting away from the Quad. As I wrapped up, I blurted out “Oh also, I’m gay.” The cheering, the clapping, the yelling, the whistling – this was imbedded in my mind. Honestly, I’m not sure if it was the result of a half-mediocre speech, the revelation of my homosexuality, or plain old Frosh week excitement and support. In the end, it doesn’t matter; I accomplished my goal, and I felt liberated. Upon entering university, perhaps the greatest challenge GSRM face is balancing their GSR identities with other identities. Opportunities to explore varying degrees of gender, sexuality, and romance present themselves, allowing individuals to further understand, develop, and integrate their identity. However, stressors such as coming out and novel environments can exagger-

ate the discovery process, causing the GSR identities to inadvertently overshadow other identities. If left unchecked, the imbalance of identities results in a self-perception majorly dominated by one’s GSR identities. In essence, the overall result is a “honeymoon phase” upon coming to university, dominated by self-exploration, yet attuned to discrimination. After my speech at Frosh Week, the rest of first semester was spent exploring my sexuality. I participated in “Queer Orientation” (QO), attending events run by Rainbow Trin, LGBT People of U of T (LGBTOUT), LGBTQ & Allies in Science and Engineering (LGBTQase), and the Sexual and Gender Diversity Office (SGDO). The experience was fascinating: before Queer Orientation, the number of GSRM I knew could be counted on two hands. In fact, my interaction with GSRM up until this point had solely been one-on-one encounters.

“As I wrapped up, I blurted out “Oh also, I’m gay.” Two events during Queer Orientation made a significant impression on me. LGBTOUT’s Meet and Greet was the QO kickoff event. With tens of like-minded individuals all from the university community, it was the first time I felt I was not an “other.” I fit in. Our shared experiences facilitated conversations, and encouraged no judgement. The second event was LGBTOUT’s Homohop – a high-energy dance party hosted in a club in Church and Wellesley Village. Unlike the Melinda Seaman or Toga party, Homohop was the first event where I felt I could relate to the hype and energy of the party. “Gendered dancing” didn’t exist, and while the event was admittedly quite… “messy”, I was able to express myself without holding back. Interestingly, as these events were the first time I had met other GSRM, I was quite overwhelmed. Every interaction with others resulted in thoughts such as “are they hitting on me?”, “am I supposed to flirt?”, and “how do I show interest?”. In hindsight,

Nathan Chan • Coming Out at University many of these thoughts stemmed from insecurity with my sexuality and a failure to realize I was more than just gay. Allowing my sexuality to define who I was made me incredibly vulnerable to homophobic remarks and microaggressions. Which brings us back to Trin. Saint’s and Conversat had “traditional” (it really started in 2006) commencement events called “Rush” where Members of College would be divided by gender and organized to run at each other in a frenzy to find a date. Although this event has been replaced by Saint’s’ and Conversat’s respective “Kickoff” events, the period leading up to this change was initiated by numerous modifications to Rush in an effort to make it more equitable. The Rush I participated in was not gendered, though the frenzied running was all the same. Out of all the events at Trin, Rush was the one where I felt the most excluded and ashamed. In addition to the pressure to find a date, which is unfair to ask of Members of College when many of them aren’t comfortable with being pressured to go with someone, there was an impression of commitment to this date. I had only come out to Trin one month before, and being asked to not only find a date, but also commit, terrified me. Pre-asking occurred, but it was discouraged. And when the event finally happened, everyone around me seemed to find someone. Yet I was alone. I was alone. I could not conform. I felt out of place, wrong, a failure, and it was through my fault: mea máxima culpa. I was ashamed. I was humiliated. I wanted to fit in, to experience and share the wonder of a date, to wander amongst friends and discuss plans. A month into university, all I could think about was how I did not fit in. I am glad Rush doesn’t exist anymore, though if it occurred today, I’m happy to say I’m secure enough with myself to resist the pressures imposed. Nonetheless, events that perpetuate gender binaries place pressure on not only trans* individuals, but also many GSRM. The pressure further emphasizes the GSRM’s “otherness” from the community. Moreover, pressures disproportionately affect new members of our community who often are the most vulnerable when entering university.

Looking back, I have learned a few things. First, my identity as a homosexual man does not define who I am. While I would never suggest to those exploring their sexuality to devalue their experiences, I would remind them that their sexuality is only a part of the very interesting and convoluted being they are! Second, exploring your sexuality is an incredibly fascinating and liberating experience, and I would encourage all who are questioning their gender, sexual, and/ or romantic identities to do so. My journey helped me gain confidence and independence, building self-esteem that had been marginalized by heteronormative society. I can be who I want to be, regardless of what society and others tell me. Third, the community around you can be anywhere from incredibly supportive to inherently exclusionary, and it is up to you to realize which is which and when to find support when you need it. Taking someone’s hand to find the help you need is not weak – it demonstrates maturity and understanding for oneself and the situation one may be dealing with. You may want to one day repay the help you have received by becoming part of the social support network. I would encourage you to do so, though it is by no means an obligation.

“Allowing my sexuality to define who I was made me incredibly vulnerable to homophobic remarks and microaggressions.” To our allies, you can help us too: when someone comes out to you, provide them with the support they need and offer them resources if they’re struggling. Within Trin, members of the Rainbow Trinity executive are always available to chat, and at U of T as a whole, the LGBTOUT DropIn Centre can provide GSRM with safe spaces and support. You can also make the

coming out experience easier for Members of College by listening and understanding when GSRM discuss their experiences. For example, when GSRM present ideas to student political structures such as the TCM, recognize that the idea stems from an effort to reduce discrimination that members of the majority might not realize, nor have experienced. Finally, to everyone: that friend who came out to you, or for that matter, any GSRM you consider friends or acquaintances are more than just “your gay/trans/queer friend.” Coming out can sometimes overemphasize one’s GSR identity, and by over-focussing on their GSR identity, you encourage this behaviour. At first, it might build confidence, but later, it can make the individual more susceptible to targeted discrimination. There is a fine line between providing social support and participating in activities that promote insecurity; my advice is to treat this friend like you would treat other friends, but nonetheless remain cognizant of the friend’s vulnerabilities so you can provide support when necessary. Coming out is stressful, but do not worry. There are people here who have been through similar experiences: 20% of Trinity’s undergraduate population identified in the LGBTQ+ spectrum in a survey performed just last year. To put this in perspective, that is nearly an entire Trinity College class size, and I think they would all agree that after coming out that they are more confident with who they are.

Salterrae • October 2015

Chez Rau-Di By Aditya Rau

A Culinary Journey

Since its opening in 1851, no restaurant has captivated the imagination of the Toronto dining scene more than Strachan. Rare as it is to find a restaurant that is able to marry the old with new, Strachan achieves this union seamlessly. Executive Chef of this Toronto eating establishment is Ringo Shum, whose celebration of fresh ingredients is legendary. The wood panelled dining room evokes beautifully aged and charred bourbon barrels, creating an atmosphere that contributes to why the restaurant has soared to, and remains at, such lofty heights. A concert percussionist by training, Shum spent his youth as a member of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra. After a year spent in silent contemplation following Kurt Cobain’s death in 1995, Shum left the Orchestra to enrol in the famous George Brown College of Culinary Arts, where he honed his distinct culinary style: one that is both fearless and feared. He joined Strachan in 1997 and was promoted to Executive Chef in 1999, the year the restaurant won its first UeaT star. As one spends a day at Strachan, the level of perfection that Shum expects of his staff and, perhaps more importantly, himself, becomes evident. As he preps for this evening’s service, chopping onions at a lightning fast pace he comments, “If I don’t push my staff beyond expectations, the customer will never push the restaurant beyond their expectations.” Shum’s philosophy is at heart of each dish that leaves his kitchen; dishes that challenge and captivate its audience each and every day.

“Not a whisper escapes the pursed lips of the dining room staff nor Maître D’ Zen, who know they will find themselves working behind the counters of Gs Fine Foods quicker than you can say “munchies” if they were to let the secret slip.” The dishes Shum conceives are inordinately complex in their simplicity. On a menu, which is rarely the same for more than six weeks, dishes range from “Slow-cooked Ecuadorian Chicken with El Salvadorian Sauce” to Strachan’s signature dish, the “Tater-Tot Casserole”. As Shum walks me through the preparation of the Casserole – a creamy fusion

of crispy potato, a smooth potato mash. and disappointingly, under-seasoned meat – a commischef working at a nearby station drops a piece of what appeared to be pork (aged pork, says Shum, yet I remain dissuaded by the meat’s colour and consistency). As a gasp ripples across the kitchen, Shum pounces – a crouching tiger from which emerges this hidden dragon – eviscerating the commis-chef: “If you deliberately sabotage my kitchen, I will gut you like a pig.” With that, the commis chef mumbles “Sorry, Chef,” and quickly cleans up the mess. The clatter of the kitchen resumes. On the evening of my visit, Shum plans to unveil his newest creation, which he describes as the pinnacle of “East meets West” fine dining. Try as I may to get wind of what he has in store for his loyal customers, the entire kitchen staff – including the dishwashers – are tight lipped. Not a whisper escapes the pursed lips of the dining room staff nor Maître D’ Zen, who know that if they were to let the secret slip, they would find themselves working behind the counters of G’s Fine Foods quicker than you can say “munchies”. Such is the loyalty of Shum’s staff that I find myself imagining the morning’s prep transform into a performance of “No Motherland Without You,” the North Korean anthem celebrating Kim Jong-il with its repeated phrase: “Without you, there would be no us!” I am seated next to the fireplace, which is in the process of being lit by a man who has no name, but who the waiting staff tell me Shum found in Sài Gòn, which rather appropriately is the Sino-Vietnamese word for “firewood”. I order the Chardonnay and wait patiently for the delicacy I had been promised earlier that afternoon. The dining room is busy; at Strachan tables are booked months in advance. The placements are set impeccably, and one cannot help but wonder to what extent Shum has played a role in ensuring the perfection of every last detail. As I reflect, I am nudged back to life by

Illustration: Marissa Martins

my waiter. I nod, my senses tingling. The dome is lifted and the dish is unveiled. Butter chicken pierogi poutine is the culmination of seven months of travel and research that Shum completed while on sabbatical, based out of the now closed Sodexo restaurant in Ukraine. Its aromas are unlike anything I have smelled before – the spices of the butter chicken are pungent and fragrant, taking me back to my childhood and the busy marketplaces of Delhi. The ‘tikka’ or spicy flavours envelop me and I am overcome with a nostalgia that manifests itself in a side-to-side head nod, one that leaves my waiter perplexed with regards to how I have received the dish. The perogies glisten, finished with clarified butter. They act as the perfect cushion for the in-house made cheese curds, which have already begun to melt. The dish is a revelation, a celebration of the Canadiana cuisine – this culinary melting pot – which Shum relentlessly pursues. Yet, as I take my first bite, I realize, almost instantly, I should have ordered Shumthing different. While cutting into the perogies, I am mesmerized by the puff of steam that escapes from each. The perogies, however, seem to be sighing in disappointment; they are coated in a dusting of raw paprika and curry powder instead of being beautifully covered in a creamy butter chicken sauce that creeps into the airy interior. The onions buried at the bottom of the dish – when fully cooked – add a unique textural contrast with the perogies and cheese curd, one which leaves you saying: “I wish I hadn’t ordered this.” The sliced

“The dish is a revelation, a celebration of the Canadiana cuisine – this culinary melting pot – which Shum relentlessly pursues.” tomatoes which line the sides of the plate have no place on this dish – one almost wishes Shum had edited the dish for subject matter, focus and length. The hero of the dish is not the perogies – which are passable – but the cheese curds, which reveal a simple truth: great food is a simple thing done well. Ringo Starr, the Beatle for whom Shum was named, once said “I’d like to end up sort of unforgettable.” Strachan’s butter chicken pierogi poutine is an unforgettable experience that is best soon forgotten.

Kaleem Hawa •The Making of Stephen Harper

John Ibbitson on

The Making of Stephen Harper

Our Prime Minister’s Stint at Trinity College By Kaleem Hawa

“I believe that Harper’s experiences at Trinity and in downtown Toronto were no doubt coloured by his background. Harper was the first suburban Prime Minister, after all, and he was an avid contrarian in many of the things he did.”

One of the most fascinating aspects of modern Canadian political history pertains to the making of Stephen Harper – a Prime Minister whose demeanor, intransigence, and political control have been unlike anything experienced by Canada’s polity. In his latest book – Stephen Harper – John Ibbitson, a decorated journalist and bureau chief with the Globe and Mail, sets out to trace the roots of Harper’s premiership and uncover what motivates the man as we know him. From a once suburban Ontarian enclave to the riotous halls of the Reform Party’s policy shop – while the history of Canada’s sixth-longest serving Prime Minister twists and turns, there Trinity is, a resolute and ever looming feature. *** John Ibbitson has never shied away from a big story. And in this latest endeavor, he has stumbled across possibly the largest double act in Canadian politics – chronicling the formative years of a sit-

ting Canadian Prime Minister and understanding the policy decisions that have been wrought in his wake. Much like The Longer I Am Prime Minister, [Maclean’s columnist] Paul Wells’ incisive 2006 account of Harper’s tenure, Ibbitson’s new book subscribes to that now trenchant truth so aptly put by Wells: “readers who still cannot bring themselves to believe he is the elected prime minister of this country not only misunderstand Stephen Harper, they also misunderstand Canada.” As such, Ibbitson’s book sets out to truly understand Harper. And in doing so, it finds an unlikely starting point – Trinity College. Ibbitson begins, “the biggest question that emerged for me, throughout the research for this book was why Harper had quit university after 2 weeks and not returned for almost three years?” Laughing, he continues, “and so when I saw Trinity there, I said ‘Aha! There it is.’ I knew I had hit something.”

Salterrae • October 2015 Ibbitson’s last book – entitled The Big Shift – focused on the demographic changes that have transformed the Canadian political landscape from one previously dominated by a “Laurentian elite” to a looser coalition of Western voters and new immigrants who reject the “dusty liberalism” of the past. As Ibbitson dug deeper into the issues for this book, similar narrative themes began to emerge in understanding Stephen Harper’s ideology. “As you know [CEO of Ipsos Public Affairs] Darrel Bricker and I talk about the Laurentian elite in The Big Shift. What we mean by that is the confluence of economic, media, and cultural power in the old urban havens of Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa, which has been steadily losing its grasp over our national politics these last several decades.”

Trudeau as Harper did. If, however, you had become a young Calgarian in the wake of the disastrous national energy policy, you probably hated Trudeau. It’s hard to overstate how important these social contexts are to the formulation of a political ideology.” Naturally these social contexts had manifestly personal implications. “When Harper quit Trinity, he told his brother he didn’t like the university or the large class sizes. He didn’t like to hear that half of them would be gone by Christmas. He didn’t enjoy the traditions, the Cake Fight, the pomposity of it all.” It was as if the trauma of the experience had reverberated across the rest of his life.

Continuing Ibbitson adds, “In many ways, Trinity was ground zero for that Laurentian elite.”

“Yes Trinity was small, yes it was elitist. But the students there were also formidably intelligent and I learned an enormous amount.”

“My understanding is that Harper’s Trinity experience had been visceral. He met the sons and daughters of the business, academic, cultural, political, and journalistic elites of central Canada who had run the country since confederation. Despite having been offered, through Trinity, the choice to join them, he clearly chose to reject that life.” Ibbitson adds, “I believe that Harper’s experiences at Trinity and in downtown Toronto were no doubt coloured by his background. Harper was the first suburban Prime Minister, after all, and he was an avid contrarian in many of the things he did.”

Ibbitson dives deeper into Harper’s transformation. “What few people know is that Harper himself had been a Young Liberal to begin with and, somewhat ironically, a very big Trudeau fan.” And while to some extent, it is difficult to determine whether these early political leanings had been exogenously or politically determined, Ibbitson expects that they likely emerged as a byproduct of Harper’s upbringing. “It was a product of both time and place, I’m sure. If you were a young, smart, politically-active Ontarian in the 70s, you probably supported Pierre

“Upon leaving Trinity and Ontario, Harper worked for three years at a clerical job in Edmonton and Calgary before going back to university, this time at the UofC. He quickly began to understand the estrangement felt by many in the West – the persistent view that central Canadian media does not possess universally-held truths. That the Laurentian consensus shuns strongly conservative and Western views and depicts them as existing outside the consensus. That those who embrace those views are seen as been wrong or illegitimate. His transformation from a largely-agnostic Toronto Liberal into a Western-alienated Conservative had begun.”

At UofC, Harper found himself in a completely different setting. “That university was the one place in Canada where there existed a department of political science that was contrarian to the central Canadian consensus – one that was in possession of an unabashed libertarian bent. Harper thrived in this new setting and his rejections of his past grew precipitously as a result.” Ibbitson concludes, “his professors at the University of Calgary, his peers, his suburban upbringing, his experiences with Canada’s elite, his trauma at Trinity – there had emerged a confluence of factors that were essential to shaping the Harper we know today.”

Kaleem Hawa •The Making of Stephen Harper *** “To some extent, there are parallels between my experiences at Trinity and those of Prime Minister of Harper.” Ibbitson, who graduated in 1979 but who had originally been a member of the class of 7T8, was “raised in an ordinary, working class family.” The Gravenhurst native describes himself as a “classic boomer kid” who had been the first in his family to attend university. This, no doubt, coloured his experiences amongst the “urbane and elite” at Trinity. “I applied not knowing much about Trinity at all. Interestingly enough, the billiards room at the College was one of the biggest reasons I had wanted to come.” Pausing for a second, he continues soberly, “I don’t know what Trinity is like today, but it was certainly a hard place to fit in while I was there. I almost considered leaving, just like Harper did. If anything, it was my dad that talked me into toughing it out.” It wasn’t all bad for Ibbitson however. He recalls, “I loved the fact that we sat down at dinner. Most of my education at UofT happened over dinner, not in the lecture halls. We would sit and we would talk through the courses of the day and argue over events. We would crosspollinate each other; it was amazing. Yes Trinity was small, yes it was elitist. But the students there were also formidably intelligent and I learned an enormous amount.” Ibbitson’s life after Trinity possessed its own circuitous path. “I first worked as a box office clerk, while also trying my hand at writing. Soon, my first play was staged. I went back to England. I wrote another play. That play was staged. Rinse, repeat. That was my life for a decade. I was in my early 30s before I decided the

life of a writer cum box office clerk would not be ultimately fulfilling.” From there, I went on to be world’s oldest intern at The Ottawa Citizen. I wrote the municipal affairs column among other things there until ’95, when The Citizen sent me to Queen’s Park to cover the Mike Harris government – a journalist’s dream. In 1999, The Globe and Mail hired me away. I worked at Queen’s Park once more, this time as the Bureau Chief. After that I was off to Washington, then Ottawa, then Washington again, then Ottawa again – serving as the bureau chief at each as well.” When pressed on whether he had experienced any journalistic impediments at the hands of the aforementioned Laurentian consensus while working at the newspapers, Ibbitson is quick to bite back. “Certainly at The Citizen, The Globe…certainly I was not held back on the basis of anything I believed. Nor have I ever seen anyone else held back.” To him, the concept of a powerful elite that governs much of Canadian politics is far more entrenched – and reflected at the highest levels in the formulation of our modern democratic system. In a previous book, Open and Shut, Ibbitson has argued that the American and Canadian systems of governance are fundamentally different in this sense. “Ours is closed, theirs is open. The Americans suffer from grievous ideological polarization while we are more consensus driven. If a reporter in the USA asks a question to the government, they have to answer them unless there is a good reason reason. In Canada, on the other hand, you only answer is you have to. There’s a huge difference.” He continues, “it boils down to the fundamental differences between constitutional monarchies and republicanism. Yes, American government is fractious, argumentative, and polarized. But

it is also unapologetically open and fundamentally democratic. If anything, Canadian consensus society actually opens the door to greater influence for the elites due to its more closed processes.” This, no doubt, manifests itself in the actions taken by the current government with regards to openness, accessibility, and transparency. On Harper’s management style, Ibbitson does not contradict the narrative. “Yes, to a large extent, Harper has increasingly centralized power within the ranks of the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO). And of course, there is no doubt that his personality, his reluctance to trust, his interest in micromanaging, all play a role in this. But I think to chalk it all up to Harper the man is to lack nuance.” Ibbitson continues, “since the days of Trudeau, the PMO has been exercising greater and greater control while the powers of cabinet ministers and MPs have been in decline. This trend will likely continue. The internet, social media: all of these things are compelling governments to react more and more quickly to events, and therefore, a centralization of communication and response strategies is inevitable.” Ibbitson argues that to some extent this is the new normal. “The personality of the Prime Minister has a tremendous influence on the personality of the government, yes. But this proliferation of social media has only increased the polarization of discourse, and centralization of power within the PMO and Privy Council Office.” No doubt Trinity College ought come to its own conclusions on the impact of social media on our polity.

Salterrae • October 2015

Deadlined Or why I didn’t write something “about summer” By Hayden Rodenkirchen Illustration: Giselle Wenban “Due to my experience balancing extracurricular activities with work commitments and a full course load, I have become an effective manager of conflicting priorities and deadlines.” - Trinity College, 11:59 pm “I still have to do the citations for this paper due at six. I’ll only go to the St. Patrick’s Day thing in Welch for a few minutes.” - Anon, 3:49 pm Managing deadlines is hard, but in university it’s important. There are many key considerations and strategies that go into managing deadlines: The first and most obvious way to manage deadlines is to ignore them. This is an advisable strategy if you do not cope well with stress. It is an especially effective strategy if, through lucky chance, you are easily self-deluded. Another effective way to manage deadlines is to loudly proclaim that you are “multitasking”. People will appreciate this and they may nod gravely and agree that they do this often. Cleaning your room is not an effective strategy for managing deadlines. If you find yourself consistently troubled by deadlines, it may be because you have too few of them. While this sounds counter-intuitive, it is actually correct. As any dinnertime conversation will reveal, you are a slacker.

lines, but in reality it is just complicated and it will disappoint your parents.

“Cleaning your room is not an effective strategy “Although murfor managing der is a very deadlines.” literary way to deal with deadlines, you still shouldn’t do it.” To effectively manage deadlines, it is important to pace yourself. Your pace should be fast.

Eating, while important, bears little material relation to deadlines and assignments. A clever way to manage deadlines is to say to the people who tell you that they are owed articles, “hey, it’s your world, we just live in it”, thereby playfully making light of the situation. If you are ever stressed out by many deadlines at once, that is not normal. You are weak. The good thing about deadlines is that they come, but they also go.

Although murder is a very literary way to deal with deadlines, you still shouldn’t do it. The worst way to manage deadlines is to be drunk and/or to shout. Such behaviour is “alienating”. Self-imposed exile to Panama may seem like a romantic way to escape responsibility for dead-

Spinning your chair around and sitting on it splay-legged, with your sleeves rolled up and your elbows balanced on the chair back, is an effective way to manage deadlines. Deadlines will feel like you are “on their level” if you speak to them this way. It is important to remember that deadlines are inanimate. They don’t mind!

Rachel Chen • The Limit Does Not Exist

THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST

a guide to people at Trinity College

By Rachel Chen Illustration: Claire ShenstoneYou may have heard Tina Fey once was at Con Hall filming a certain movie. She’s not there anymore, but if she was, this is probably what her guide to Trinity College would be like. Now where you sit in Strachan is crucial, because everyone is here. You’ve got your… Freshmen that’s you frosh. Welcome. Soon you will find your place amongst us, but until then… There are your official-like-people. They are your dons, your sober patrol. They have their eyes on you, but they’ve also got your back. Basics These are the Trinnest of the Trin. They are noted for their membership in the IR Society, regardless of their major and for showing up to every TCM. Notable sayings: “What ghost of Strachan? I was just at a regular ice cream social!” and “Crumpets and tea, I just missed a fantastic networking opportunity.” They also wear boat shoes, but the only boats around are at the nautical adventure. Intramural jocks They are cute. They play and do decently. Rah Rah Trinitah. Sponsored by the Bishop, make sure you show them your support and kneel! You go Glen Cocos. Life Sci Nerds You will probably never see them, since all they do is study day and night to get into med school. Basically, the five percent of Trin not in International Relations eh. The Cool International Students You keep hearing about these crazy parties, but you just cannot find them. Wasn’t that supposed to be a quiet floor? #notallrowlinsons Varsity jocks You roll into the washroom to get ready for bed at four am, and the varsity jock is there. Were they out partying? Studying? No, they are on their way to the gym. Get your life together.

Too-funny-black-gowned-hotties Every Wednesday they give out free beer, but then they crush your dreams because you realize you will never be as funny as them. Or they are just too funny for you to understand. Don’t worry young frosh, use your democratic right as worms with gowns to vote for the only one who made sense. People who eat until evening Also known as “Strachan sitters”. Swipe once, then sit and sit and sit and sit and sit and sit and sit. Brunch means breakfast, studying, then lunch. Why ever leave when there is unlimited free ice cream? People who don’t eat anything Known for offering free guest passes to literally anyone because they have SO MANY Strachan meals. “I only got the 310 meals though!” Desperate wannabes: Something they hear all the time is: “Wait, you are in Saint Mikes? But you’re the captain of the Hart House debate team. You were in Trin One. You’re here all the time… I thought you were Trin.” They don’t even go here.

Hipsters: Quintessentially Trin, you see them at all the events with the Preps. However, they are notable for saying things like, “Yeah, I went to their stupid party, it wasn’t fun until everyone left. Where was the actual ice cream? It’s not even funny.” Secretly they all wish they had applied to Vic. They are probably the leaders of the Hart House debate team opposition. You also heard they throw better after parties. Sexually active theatre geeks: Eargasms all over the place. How are they so good at this that they can make your soulless Trin heart feel feelings? That acting, so compelling, that voice, so beautiful. We understand your unfortunate erectrin, but calm down frosh. Then of course, there is the greatest people you will ever meet – that’s us at the Salterrae. For information on all things Trin so you don’t completely embarrass yourself navigating your way through the social map. And of course, beware of plastics. Who are they? Every upper year ever. YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.

Salterrae • October 2015

Trintercontinental Journeys A Frosh Reports

By Julianne de Gara, (1T9) DAY ONE As anyone might expect, my first experience with Trinity was that of excessive photography, sweaty goodbyes, and the reality of shaking hands. Speed mingling was a mess of screaming leaders and attempting to the remember the holy trinity of personal details: name, hometown, major. I believe that when you say something is awkward, it necessarily makes things more awkward — the “Awkward Lunch” was no exception. My own experience? Trying to make conversation while a girl ran away from a wasp. The activity that truly introduced us to the spirited and cult-like nature of Trinity College was meeting the Bishop. We watched in awe as a girl dressed in robe and mitre told us to “go hard in the motherfucking paint” and that “trincest was best”. I thought I had heatstroke, but I realized that this was Trinity. This was what I had signed up for. DAY TWO At orientation, the Registrar, Dean, and Provost told us three very important things. One: if your friend is dying, put them into recovery position. Two: consent is a lot like a cup of tea. Three: regardless of how smart you were before, you will most likely struggle with your academic courses. This was somewhat disheartening, but I made a promise to myself that I would not think about school for another six days.

During lunch, the Bishop taught us Trinity cheers. I screamed “you can’t spell fuck University College without fuck University College” with the enthusiasm of someone deep in the throes of college rivalry, despite never having met any of them. Shortly afterwards, the Lit presented the Quad debate. Fortunately I had seen a Lit debate once before; those around me were not so lucky to understand the nuance of the satirical debate society. “I didn’t understand any of the inside jokes,” someone quickly complained. She was reassured, “don’t worry, one day the jokes will be inside to you.” Matriculation showed us the best of Trinity traditions. As we lined up to sign our names, and officially join the ranks of the college, the sense of newfound pride welled up again. Much more exciting than sentimentality, however, were the hors d’oeuvres served later in the quad. Never before had I seen a s’mores bar! Never before had I so enjoyed meatballs on a stick. DAY FOUR The Trinity College Clubs’ fair was far more lowkey than the previous fair, but offered us many inviting choices. Among them, the wine tasting society, and my personal favourite: the Finer Things, a club in which you appreciate the finer things. (Succinct and elegant—but you’d expect nothing less.)

The evening’s eco-carnival asked all frosh to create their outfits for recycled materials; my original plan was to poke holes in a garbage bag and hope for the best. However, with the help of a new friend, we managed to make garbage bag couture with only duct tape and a bit of imagination. Unfortunately, garbage bags do not fare well on the dancefloor, and by the end of the night I was showing off my trashier side.

As we sat on the grass in the quad-- a luxury we had not yet experienced-- we were introduced to the proceedings of the student government. We asked a very political question: water wars or capture the flag? A few brave souls offered their opinions, and in the end, the verdict was capture the flag, but not before Reid asked us to safely cross the street, and was subsequently dubbed “big freaking buzzkill”.

DAY THREE Morning brought the clubs fair, a delightfully overwhelming array of everything to do at the University of Toronto. I had planned to find the tables I knew sparked my interest, glance at a few more, and leave, untrampled, unshoved, and unscathed. My friend had other ideas. I ended up signing up for kickboxing, kung fu, and origami club.

Led by the Bishop in a sea of red, we made our way to the bed races, where the aggressive side of my personality had its time to shine. Conveniently placed directly across from Innis College, we battled for cheering supremacy. We ultimately succeeded! …despite being the first out of the race. We held our heads high, cheering that we were going back to Hogwarts.

The night ended in “Tuscany,” where girls attempted to dance in six inch high heels and the Architecture faculty went insane on the dancefloor. It became obvious that Arch was more fun than us, and Trinity quickly fled the scene to experience the marvel of Toronto’s public transit system. DAY FIVE The U of T parade is perhaps beyond description, but I will try regardless. We carried the Bishop into the Varsity Stadium, protecting her at all costs from the thieving members of the other colleges. I was unfortunate enough to be closest to the Kinesiology faculty. They did not take kindly to us calling them future gym teachers, and retaliated the only way they knew how: by calling us fat. Then we walked through downtown, to our delight and Toronto’s chagrin. Passerby looked out their office windows, drivers honked their horns, and pedestrians ran away in fear. We took over the streets in a sea of red. Despite being the smallest college, we screamed, we shouted, and we ensured that the world knew that we are the salt of the earth-- and oh, did they give ear to us. DAY SIX AND & DAY SEVEN Surprisingly, Frosh Week ended as quickly as a week at camp. The only difference being now we have the joys of classes, rather than returning home to our parents to eagerly tell the stories of archery and new friends. In the spirit of old-fashioned college cliché, we ended the week with the infamous toga party. Nothing says friendship like stabbing each other with safety pins, except perhaps trying to refasten a fallen toga on the dancefloor. Overall, Frosh Week 2015 was a chance to dance, learn, and create the first memories of our university experience. I will enter my first week of classes with a disrupted sleep schedule and profound anxiety, but most importantly the knowledge that no matter what happens in ENG140 or ANT100, I will be coming home to Trinity College, and everything else that comes with it.

Sydney Bradshaw• Frosh Week 2015

Frosh Week 2015

Older, wiser, sweatier

By Sydney Bradshaw (1T8) Photography: Nathan Chan

MONDAY At 5:30am I awake in my fourth Whit room, zombielike, to weather with humidity levels off the charts. I meet with the rest of the exec and then position myself with the Frosh Leaders, excitement palpable. By the 9 am (and the first mini-fridge) rolls around, we are all covered in intricate lines of sweat which crisscross our once-pristine black and blue t-shirts, while the bright-eyed Frosh swarm the Quad. Their parents trail behind, iPhones at the ready, and I notice that some of them are wearing long pants and sweaters. Though I admire their dedication to fashion over function, I’m definitely okay chugging from plastic water bottles in old running shorts. the charts. I meet with the rest of the exec and then position myself with the Frosh Leaders, excitement palpable. By the 9 am (and the first mini-fridge) rolls around, we are all covered in intricate lines of sweat which criss-cross our once-pristine black and blue tshirts, while the bright-eyed Frosh swarm the Quad. Their parents trail behind, iPhones at the ready, and I notice that some of them are wearing long pants and sweaters. Though I admire their dedication to fashion over function, I’m definitely okay chugging from plastic water bottles in old running shorts. As midday gives way to afternoon, the Frosh mingle in Kirkwood Meadows, meet Mama B (insert heart-eyes emoji here), and begin touring the Trinity campus. After learning invaluable rules about maintaining at the Quad (the grass is really fragile, okay?), we head to the Quidditch Pitch to throw paint at each other before our BBQ dinner. In the colourful chaos, several blonde Frosh are forced to embrace a new semipermanent hair colour as their heads are doused.

Last, but certainly not least, we enjoy the World Expo. Games are played, lemonade flows freely, and the rain manages to hold out. Soon enough, an epic dance party ensues in the backfield. Later that night, an epic one-person sleeping party ensues in my bed. TUESDAY I don’t have to wake up at 5:30 this morning, but I manage to anyway. Clearly, Frosh Week insomnia is beginning to kick in. The morning is filled with Trin101 for the Frosh. With nothing productive to do, I venture to Starbucks and I order a venti pumpkin spice latte AND a pumpkin loaf despite the fact that it is 25oC outside. I have no regrets. In the afternoon we have outings, and I get to enjoy a double-decker bus tour around the city. We get excellent views of the 6ix, but sadly no views of Drake. That evening after the Provost’s Dinner we enjoy a raucous night in Rio, with temperatures in Seeley Hall accurately reminiscent of a nation near the Equator. The 1T9 Frosh, who are proving to be quite enthusiastic, construct clothing out of garbage bags, boxes and other random items, while still managing to look put together. I wipe the sweat from my forehead, thoroughly impressed. I haven’t changed my outfit in two days. WEDNESDAY Wednesday is jam-packed. The Frosh get their first taste of the Trinity cheers and the TCM after lunch, then whisked away to the Devonshire Block Party with the Woodsworth Frosh. After eating (and instagramming) a giant stick of cotton candy and climbing the rock wall, I watch the dunk tank. After seeing

Salterrae • September 2015 Kalyna Onufryk and Adi Rau splashing around, I am also peer-pressured into the tank. After a few Frosh try their hand to no avail, Thomas Robson manages to hit the lever. As I emerge, soaking wet, I find out from a tentative Frosh that my linen shorts are completely see-through. My pride distinguished, I return to Trinity, leaving a trail of dripping water and lost dignity in my wake. Matriculation is after dinner, featuring a s’mores bar. Sadly, I was marathon napping at the time and missed it. However, I did wake up in time to lead one of the evening outings, Late Night Bites, where I get to eat cheap and delicious poutine. Stomach full, I proceed to bed, hoping that the gravy and cheese curds have not taken five years off my life. THURSDAY This is the first year that Trinity College has been in the Engineering-organized Bed Races, and we are not taking our inclusion lightly. Midafternoon we all march together to the road linking King’s College Circle to College Street. The next few hours are a blur of cheering and makeshift structures that somehow manage to carry students up the road. The Trinity team pushes a frame with wheels that carries our revered 100th Bishop, who has replaced her signature hat with a black helmet and is sprawled upon fuzzy blue pillows. Though we ultimately do not win the event, the turnout and energy were incredible and we leave in high spirits. That night we take buses down Queen Street East for a party we are holding in tandem with the Daniels School. The festivities, themed after ‘A Night in Tuscany’, take place inside a renovated church that oozes character and charm. I get to dress-up for this event, and I ambitiously decide to continue wearing the 6-inch platforms that I wore to the Dean’s Dinner earlier that

evening. Needless to say, five hours in heels rendered my feet slightly numb, and I was eventually forced to take them off while taking pictures. The event was absolutely stunning – so much so that I didn’t even mind my complete sobriety. The part that wasn’t so stunning came when the event was over and I headed home on the TTC, my feet either encased in ridiculous heels or subjected to grimy sidewalks at my discretion. Despite accidently stepping into mud on Philosopher’s Walk, my feet survived the journey and I fell asleep immediately.

meted in the span of a day and it has been raining for hours, it is decided that the party will be held inside Strachan Hall. Once everything is set up - including 40+ pizzas and lots of cake batter frozen yogurt – the music begins and Frosh, leaders and executives begin to dance, pausing every few minutes to readjust open safety pins and loose bits of fabric. I am draped in my duvet cover, and besides getting constantly stabbed by pins, my outfit is keeping it together. My dance moves, however, are not. I take solace in the fact that it was dark in there.

FRIDAY Morning comes with a migraine. I nurse my pounding head with a huge cup of coffee and put on my Exec shirt. After all, today is parade day, and there is no way I’m missing out on the chance to dance like a fool in public.

SUNDAY Trinity College awakens to the smell of hash browns in all their golden, fried-to-perfection glory. Frosh and Leaders alike emerge from whatever location they passed out in the night before and head to Strachan. The rest of the day consists mostly of laundry and crying over textbook prices at the Book Store. We finish Frosh Week off with a quick slideshow featuring a select few moments from the week. As expected, most of these moments are sweaty.

Once we are covered head to toe in scarlet and black, Mama B is hoisted above our heads and we begin the trek to Varsity Stadium, chanting all the while. There is a lot of yelling, chaos and pizza, so evidently I am in heaven. Then we parade onto the streets in a sea of red, blue and black shirts, screaming about the ‘salt of the earth’. Pedestrians seem either bemused or terrified. Get used to it, 1T9: ironic narcissism is a thing here. SATURDAY WAFFLES! The first brunch of the year does not disappoint, although the seemingly endless line definitely does. Once we have overloaded on carbs and have regained function, the final party of the week shines like a magical beacon: Toga. Yes, the mythical event is finally on the horizon. Because of this, most of the afternoon involves a significant amount of fabric-purchasing and safety-pinning. Due to the fact that the temperature has plum-

It is now 10pm, and I am writing this article from the safety of my room with the motivating sounds of the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ theme blasting in my ears. For many of us this experience has been 5 ½ months in the making, and suddenly it has come to an end. But to paraphrase co-chair Ali Witt, we are nowhere near discovering everything that Trinity and U of T have to offer. So, 1T9, I implore you to keep exploring this incredible university and all of the opportunities that it has to offer. Here is to an incredible year!before and head to Strachan. The rest of the day consists mostly of laundry and crying over textbook prices at the Book Store. We finish Frosh Week off with a quick slideshow featuring a select few moments from the week. As expected, most of these moments are sweaty.

TCFS • Breaking the Fashion Stereotype

Breaking the Fashion Stereotype

Introducing the Trinity College Fashion Society By: Amanda La Mantia and Sahlegebriel Gebreselassie “Do you even own a pair of Sperry’s?” says the 1T9 as he adjusts the collar of his perfectly pressed pastel shirt. For quite some time Trinity has fostered a community that has a diverse sense of fashion. Yet, when one thinks of the ‘typical’ Trinity College student, thoughts of an overall preppy aesthetic closely follow. During your time at Trinity you will come to recognize that the spectrum is much wider than the aforementioned stereotype. As time progresses, you will come to identify individuals with unique styles, eventually experimenting with your own tastes and preferences.

Perhaps you will go all out on your outfit for Saints, doing your best to complement the year’s theme while not being outright cheesy. Or perhaps your everyday street style will be what gets you noticed in Strachan during meals. Whatever it may be, the social calendar of the Trinity College student will either provide the opportunity to dress to impress or leave you feeling stressed to the max.

“Whatever it may be, the social calendar of the Trinity College student will either provide the opportunity to dress to impress or leave you feeling stressed to the max.”

There always seems to be some event encouraging us to look our best. The James Bond Society encourages members to attend their events with their best attempts to resemble the franchise’s iconic characters. Whether it be Daniel Craig in his perfectly tailored Tom Ford suit or the glamorous and sophisticated looks of the James Bond girls. Or perhaps it will be the countless seminars and conferences for International Relations, History, and Political Science students, which prompt you to figure out the most appropriate business casual look for the occasion. Whatever it may be, we spend a lot of time thinking about our fashion choices because at the end of the day, it matters.

Salterrae • October 2015 The truth is, what you wear will leave an impression on every single individual you ever come by. You will see that woman sitting in a cafe with her husband, both sporting contemporary black outfits that perfectly complement the other and think, “Wow, they definitely run a gallery or work at Christie’s,” and yet you know absolutely nothing about them. It is because fashion is expression. There are many forms of expression, some individual and some collective. We use words to inspire, describe, or tell a story. We write to persuade, elaborate on issues, and to suggest. We adjust our tones to express our mood, and our body language conveys powerful messages to others. Fashion is much more than superficial and flashy. Fashion is exciting, interesting, and meaningful.Fashion is what reflects the various attitudes, times, and cultures we are experiencing through clothing. Fashion is identity.

Moreover, just as the body language of one can express feelings, so can it deceive. We should not feel insecure and uncomfortable in our own skin because of a poster portraying the ideal image of beauty that does not exist in reality. We should feel empowered and more confident by understanding ourselves and our needs and from there, knowing how to bend and manipulate the products out there, not our actual selves. And that is why fashion matters. It is the tool that enables the transcendence of our inner selves into the world simply through the clothes we choose to wear.

The environment in which we live, the professionals and celebrities we look up to and try to emulate, and our own personalities all shape who we are and who we become. Experimenting with different types of clothing and seeing what we feel good in can be an empowering experience. However, it can also be a process that can cause us to feel insecure and uncomfortable in our own skin. After all, words can be used to hurt and deceive, and writings and illustrations can be used to influence the public and to serve hidden agendas.

“Fashion is what reflects the various attitudes, times, and cultures we are experiencing through clothing. Fashion is identity.”

Ondiek Oduor • ONDIFAQ

O N D I FA Q Avoiding noob Slips By Ondiek Oduor Hey FriendsTM, welcome to the pilot episode of my advice column. It is here where I will guide you through life’s most sensitive situations. I will help you understand those pressing questions that you could find the answers to on Yahoo yourself, but unlike any mundane search engine, I have at least thought about attaining a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at York University. Let me be the Magical Negro to that quirky Sundance protagonist that Buzzfeed said you were. Much like my favourite pair of fluores cent plaid capris, my wisdom is objectively more reliable and down to earth. Now – go fetch your nearest animal onesie, prepare a cup of room temperature milk, take out that fine box of 2015 merlot you’ve been saving, and find a seat in the nearest futon available. Done? Perfect. It’s time to be awoken. Dear Ondi, Hi! I just transferred here, and I’ve been hearing a lot of ramblings about people getting social with ice cream. Now, I love ice cream since I’m a ra tional human being and all, but I do have many, many dietary restrictions. Are there glutenfree op tions, and will I be condemned for asking about it?

Illustration: Claire Shenstone-Harris

“You need not worry about your irritable bowels, because, thanks to direct democracy, there will always be glutenfree options for you – we even have frozen yogurt now.”

Dear Ondyke, This is my first year at the College, and I’m re ally interested in getting involved with TCMTM. I was the Head Boy of my Toronto private school so I have a sneaking suspicion that I’ll be really adept at representing the Little People of this College. I do have one problem though: What is the dress code? Is there a dress code? What is the aesthethic of direct democracy? Please help me denim god(dess), Kardashian Frosh

Dear Pontiac, I like to think of myself as someone who’s always hungry for new experiences. I just turned 19 and I should be feeling on top of the world (and the dance floor), but I have one problem: I’ve only visited 7 countries in my entire life. I strive to be worldly, but I’m still a student. Do you have any recommendations for how I can satisfy my insa tiable hunger for travel with only a paltry $5000 allowance? Please feed me your delicious nonfat wisdom, Povo Rachel Green

“Having outrageous socks really takes attention from any misuse of student funds.”

Hi Confused Dairy Enthusiast, You heard right. We here at Social Trinity do not kid about our love for ice cream. I hope you like red velvet, because it’s the only flavor we do par take in. If you don’t like that then that’s really too bad, huh? While we do not stray from red velvet, due to recent equity movements made last year at the TCMTM, we have made huge strides toward dairy inclusivity. You need not worry about your irritable bowels because, thanks to direct democ racy, there will always be glutenfree options for you. We even have frozen yogurt now. However, if you do prefer flavors other than red velvet – like Vanilla – then you probably should leave right now. Or go to the Lit. God speed.

Hi Kardashian Frosh, Congratulations on becoming the Head Boy at your school. As a public school graduate myself, I can only imagine the difficulty it took to achieve that position was probably as difficult as my expe rience in avoiding the unwanted drug deals dur ing lunch breaks. I’m sure you’ll do great here. But back to the question at hand yes we do have a dress code. You must don a black gown in order to vote, which can be conveniently purchased at the Bursar’s office for about $399. However, you will be more respected if you get both creative and fiscally responsible. If you are an etsy diva, feel free to construct makeshift gown out of your used kitchen table cloth. Your vote counts as two if there is a visibly unidentifiable stain on your gar ment. As for accessories, I suggest you go with a loud pair of socks. Having outrageous socks really takes attention from any misuse of student funds. Who knows? Investing in a bougie pair of high fashion socks might fund your next voluntour trip to the warm coasts of the gentrified Dominican Republic.

Hi Povo Rachel Green, I can completely relate to your dilemma to quote the great Fresh Prince and DJ jazzy Jeff, parents just don’t understand. It’s an unfortunate world that we’re forced to live in, but out of struggle grows character. While it’s completely unreason able to assume you can have a good time on in ternational soil with what is basically just bus fare money, you can still have a good time in the red, white, and free. If you are a fan of history I suggest that you visit the wideopen spaces of rural southern Ontario. Beautiful townships such as Orangeville and Walkerton will give you a chance to experi ence life as a pilgrim on a very modest budget. There you won’t be bothered by the hag allow luxuries of modern day living. An absence of 3G networks, a still-existing love for the phrases “GTL” and “Jersday,” and cheap, tasty homemade crystals are all waiting for you down under. I per sonally cannot think of a more worldly experience, and you’ll still have enough money leftover to en ter yourself in the illustrious countywide corn cob pageant.

Yours in warm milky solidarity Ondi

Cowabunga dude, Ondi

Stay strong, Ondi

Best, Confused Dairy Enthusiast

“Your vote counts as two if there is a visibly unidentifiable stain on your garment.”

Salterrae • October 2015

If I Wasn’t Going to Hell Before... Written and Illustrated by Marissa Martins From around the age of twelve until I was about fourteen or fifteen, I started a new dialogue with God in my nightly prayers: I asked Him to take away these confusing, recent thoughts and sexual urges, because without temptation, I would not become a sinner. I did not spend as much of my time as a teen doing productive and healthy activities that are important to developing a solid sense of selfworth and identity as I would have liked to. Instead, I was obsessed with trying to dismantle this urge to touch myself and boys. It was exhausting, a losing battle. I was fitting into the tame and pious mould of a celibate catholic girl like Ray Romano fits into any quality movie. When I turned fourteen, I was like “Screw this. C u later God, I’m about to go get a prescription for birth control and read some Sam-on-Dean Supernatural fanfic. Also I’m going to start eating a lot of Twizzlers, but that is completely unrelated.” There was some understandable guilt I had to overcome. Getting my jollies over incestuous stories about the otherwise glaringly heterosexual demon-hunting brothers seemed pretty far removed from God’s plan for me. Eventually, all traces of Catholic guilt had pretty much disappeared. I began thinking about how liberating it was to be in charge of my sexuality, of my sexual life, and of my own body. No longer

was sleeping with somebody a damning event in my mind, which would disappoint the man in the sky. All dialogue with God has been silent on my end for half of a decade now and the world hasn’t crumbled around me. Lots of things turn people away from religion. In particular, what turned me off was that I couldn’t feel right about

drive who didn’t know what to do with all of this newfound energy that I interpreted as sinful. I don’t think it benefits me to try to figure it out now. Religion loses kids in ways like this all the time. If sex is not approached positively, selfloathing and guilt can envelop an adolescent, like it did to me. If one of my teachers had said, “Hey,

being turned on. I really felt that in order to have a healthy attitude about sex, my body, and all facets of the romantic realm, I had to let go of what I had been taught in catholic school. Writing this, I was afraid that what I was trying to say would not come across correctly. To the religious and offended: I hope that your experience with religious education was unlike mine. I hope that all of the gorgeous parts of so many religions were emphasized, and the oldfashioned and torturous teachings that made going through puberty even more painful were left out. I hope that you smile fondly upon your elementary and high school years with an abundance of positive memories involving your faith. For me, I felt constantly ashamed of my own thoughts and feelings, because they were so far away from the expected archetype of a good person of the faith. Maybe I just got unlucky. Maybe the formula that makes up who I am just clashes horribly with Roman Catholicism. Maybe I was just a hyper-anxious kid with a pretty high sex

what you’re feeling is normal and healthy and this is why you should wait until you’re married before you have sex…” maybe things would have gone another way. But instead, I was just told that I was wrong, without self-control and foresight, and it was time to recite the Lord’s Prayer twelve times to forget the filth in my head. A culture of secrecy and shame was born, both within me and my peers. I decided that I didn’t want to participate in this culture anymore, and I nope’d on out of there. As Demi Lovato sang in the brilliant and Oscar-worthy ‘Camp Rock’, “This is real. This is me. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Gonna let the light SHINE ON ME.” If your story is anything like mine, I hope you’ve found the light, too, and by the light, I mean sexual liberation, whatever that might mean to you. If sex positivity and your religious life do not conflict, even better. That wasn’t the case for me. In fact, now I hail Satan, Prince of Darkness. He has four penises. Sorry mom.

Francesca Hannan, Larissa Parker & Alexa Waud • Let’s Put the Environment on the Equity Agenda

Let’s put the Environment on the “Equity Agenda” By Francesca Hannan, Larissa Parker & Alexa Waud Last year, when members of our community pointed out that some of Trinity’s well-loved traditions were exclusionary towards folks who don’t identify with the gender binary, we collectively decided to change our behaviour. It didn’t happen easily; for many of us, the idea of changing something we were used to—something which seemed harmless—was difficult. However, our peers helped us recognize that what made these traditions familiar and “harmless” to us was the privilege that cisgender people enjoy. We are proud that Trinity was able to recognize and change something unfair. We are also proud of what made this change possible— the college’s general ethos of concern for equity. We are lucky to belong to a community where there is little social license for racism, sexism, classism, homophobia—for unfairness. Long live the Equity Agenda! Since TCES believes this college’s social-justice-warriorism is genuine and wonderful, we would like to bring to light an equity issue we believe Trinity students should be far more engaged with: environmental equity.

“More than one of us have heard a friend say pointblank, “I don’t care about the environment.” You probably know that the stability of our planetary ecosystem is threatened by overconsumption of natural resources, and overproduction of waste. For want of space, we will only mention in passing here that the situation is dire—having produced a mass extinction and tangibly hindered human development—and worsening. The reason this is an equity issue is that, put simply, already marginalized people tend to bear the brunt of environmental deterioration. The poor suffer when resources become scarce, and therefore more expensive. Ecological degradation is felt keenly by those who engage most directly with the land for their livelihood—again, the world’s poor, especially women. Globally, the picture is all too familiar, (see the WHO’s mapping of deaths linked to human-induced global warming). Within countries and communities disadvantaged minorities are more likely to live near dangerous waste disposal sites, and more likely to die when extreme weather events occur. Environmental security requires making human subsistence as a whole sustainable. As

we struggle to develop ways to meet needs sustainably in developing countries, per-capita consumption among the world’s wealthy remains far higher than what is needed for living comfortably. This compounds the already significant challenge. Our throwaway economy and culture of normalized luxury may be pleasant and convenient, but they perpetuate ecological crisis—making the lives of the many who share much less in that pleasure and convenience materially worse. What we have here is something that we like and are used to, but that is unfair. Sound familiar? We should recognize our privilege, and try to change.

As your friendly eco-terrorist observers, we have noticed that Trinity often fails in this regard. Consider the number of paper cups from Strachan thrown in the garbage—all missed opportunities for reusable cup usage. We have turned off lights and TVs in empty common rooms, and we have watched our floormates let water run as they brushed their teeth, or in an unoccupied shower “to let it get steamy”. For nearly all our events, Trin purchases hundreds of cheap plastic props, which usually make it into one selfie and then onto the floor. These are just a few examples. We have previously assumed that if we could make people think twice about their consumption, things would improve. We were disheartened, though, because we have watched our friends consciously over-consume. For instance, people will say, “Look what I’m doing!” as they sip from paper cups, thinking it’s funny to create garbage in front of an environmentalist. Posters with conservation tips cover the walls of residence bathrooms, and yet Trinity’s water consumption increased during last year’s advertised water conservation challenge. This too was met by laughter. Our exec is willing to joke around, but we don’t find wasteful behaviour funny when we consider the human lives impacted.

A Lette r to Trini ty, Love TCES More than one of us have heard a friend say point-blank, “I don’t care about the environment”. We do not think our friends are bad people. So, we’ve thought about what patterns of thought might be allowing this behaviour to occur in an equity-minded community that knows environmental problems exist.

“What we have here is something that we like and are used to, but that is unfair. Sound familiar?” From what you have told us, it seems one thinks: “The problem is so big that what I do can’t make a difference, so denying myself pleasure or convenience would be pointless”. We think this is flawed reasoning. All forms of injustice are structures ultimately supported by what individuals think and do, and changing them requires a large aggregation of these individuals changing their behaviour. That is why most of us believe it is important never to say racist, sexist or homophobic things, even though racism, sexism and homophobia are not made or broken by what one person says alone. Your individual choices are the only part of society that you control, and the point of making the right choice is to contribute to the aggregate. Just as racism will not end until people stop being racist, over-consumption of natural resources will not end until people consume less. It seems consistent for a person who cares about equity, then, to try to consume sustainably. We think this is something Trin can do. There is huge scope for a wealthy North American to reduce consumption and waste. We are only asking that you act in some way on this potential. You can eat less meat. You can buy second-hand. You can replace one, some, or all of the disposable products you use with reusables. You can make your own personal care products (it’s really fun!). The list goes on. If you do even one of these things, you become an agent of tangible good where you were once an agent of harm. That is meaningful. We hope you will all join us in meeting this responsibility. Refusing it would mean, unequivocally, worsening the largest existing threat to human dignity. We certainly shouldn’t call ourselves champions of equity if we knowingly let others suffer for the sake of our pleasure and convenience.

Salterrae • October 2015

Episkopon’s Death Wish From Skulls and Bones to Sorrows and Woes By Haley O’Shaughnessy & Victoria Reedman Illustrations: Trinity College Archives

Editor’s Note: Students should be reminded that Trinity College is in no longer affiliated with Episkopon. Any further concerns about Episkopon and its relation to the college should be directed to student heads, or the Trinity administration.

Episkopon: one of the few topics at Trinity College where a mere whisper of an article led to several messages telling us not to speak. Leaks of our survey, false rumours of a blacklist of Pon members, and online attempts by Pon to censor this article soon followed. Please consider this article as not a whisper, but a loud and unrestrained exposé of Episkopon. Along with our thoughts and experiences with the not-so-secret society, we have asked twenty-two Members of College to give their perspectives, with their affiliations ranging from attendee to a former Scribe, who was the highest authority within Pon. The fear that circulates all discussions about Pon did not escape any of us. It should not come as a surprise that Pon Editors and Scribes are some of the most active people within “social Trin”. The power dynamics of Episkopon and its influence at Trinity should give anyone pause about agreeing to speak with us, if not

complete trepidation. Excused from any consequence, all allegations of binge drinking, bullying, slut shaming, and outing remain allegations. The consequences of speaking out are plentiful, with a majority of our sample choosing to remain anonymous. A disclaimer - our focus remains on Episkopon as an institution and this article refrains from personal attacks. As will be discussed later, the groupthink, systemic and structural violence, and political influence of Episkopon, namely its ability to convince otherwise pleasant Trinitrons to bully their peers, is far more important than the actual Trinity students involved. For simplicity, we will be referring to the female branch of Episkopon as “Fempon” and the male branch of Episkopon as “Manpon.” Although we did have an all-cap, red-font protest against the use of “Manpon,” we find the explanation that it is “Episkopon” and then “Fempon” to be sexist. We will not police our words for such misogynistic objectives, especially since “Manpon” has been used colloquially for many years. We would never attempt to say our sample was representative of Trinity’s views of Episkopon. Given both the topic and our perspec-

tive as the writers, people against or ambivalent about Pon were more likely to participate. To provoke discussion, our survey had an informal, conversational style.

“With the Triad constantly changing, what remains the same is its base structure: a group of active Members of College, divided according to the gender binary, ridiculing any student’s deviation from the norm. That basis is forever inequitable.” Social standing One former Scribe of Fempon, who left the organization last Thanksgiving, emphasizes how Fempon has been both a feminist social support group and an anti-consensual, anti-feminist rumour mill:

Haley O’Shaunessy & Victoria Reedman• Episkopon’s Death Wish going to be discussed and I was nervous and uncomfortable about this power structure. I was told that this was deeply empowering for women, that women can be funny, and that we should be able to make fun of ourselves. I was inducted in my second year, and I was deeply flattered that I was picked, come Third Year I got deeply involved… When I was asked in March to be Scribe I said, ‘Yea that sounds great.’”

“Please consider this article as not a whisper, but a loud and unrestrained exposé of Episkopon.” Come the summer between Third and Fourth Year, however, this Scribe felt the infamous history of Episkopon wane on her. She told us how she read, “Episkopon’s Wikipedia page over and over again,” wondering how to make this society better and move away from its infamous past: “I read the newspapers and felt anxious about what I was dealing with. I felt the history of the mostly white, very normative structure and that I was gaining power through this social structure. I am using this to make me feel powerful and I couldn’t face it...Fempon became a tool of social control, giving people leverage within Social Trin by evaluating some and picking out other people.” Iris Robin, an attendee of all of Episkopon’s readings for three years, describes the social control and exclusivity within Fempon: “In my first year, I wanted to be selected for induction, a desire that continued until the middle of my second year…An induction, to me, would have proven once and for all that I was capable of being in a position of social status, which I had never been before. I thought that I would be someone who others looked up to, someone who could be loved and feared as I pleased...I thought I was a sure bet to be inducted. When I wasn’t, I panicked. I didn’t know what I had done wrong...I thought it was linked to the social ineptitude that I had worked so hard to overcome and honestly, it was demoralizing not to be inducted. All of a sudden, I questioned my worth at Trinity.” Iris was not alone in their feelings of worthlessness, shame, and victim blaming as a lower year Trinity student. Victoria Reedman, a former Fempon Editor, clarifies that the selection process is completely arbitrary; wanting it too badly would automatically disqualify any hopeful inductee. For Victoria, her experience as an “irrelevant” first year that was not invited to at-homes and the subsequent inductions was disappointing. For Manpon, “they don’t pick people because they are funny, but because they are in elected positions at Trinity,” the former Scribe notes. Another respondent concurs with her, observing the connection between leadership roles at Trinity and membership in Manpon: “The ones

that get chosen to be political leaders here at Trinity are wealthy, unfunny white men with connections and a terrible entitlement complex. They are members of Pon.” Contrary to the majority of respondents, one interviewee claims that Manpon Editors are selected on merit. “Editors are Editors because of their work ethic and ability to bring something unique to the body,” he said, adding that the selection for Manpon is “like casting any play.” Two branches banded under one banner From having a Mean Girls-esque “shit list” that records all College rumours to the non-consensual touching of breasts and unsafe intoxication during inductions, as Victoria recounts, to us, Fempon is beyond excusable. Several respondents recalled Fempon shaming other students for their “virginity,” accents, past sexual acts, gender presentation, and religious beliefs. Slut-shaming is the norm for readings. To have a homophobic, cissexist song perpetuating the anti-feminist idea of “virginity” and derailing against “pseudo-masculinity” testifies to Fempon’s problematic ethos. Despite the facts outlined above, the vast majority of our respondents find Manpon to be the more inequitable of the two. Overwhelmingly, interviewees see Manpon as a “boys’ club.” As one respondent states: “Manpon is the ultimate manifestation of hegemonic white male privilege. They are all there because they were deemed worthy by other privileged white men to be a part of this thinly veiled Old Boys’ Club. They get to network with former members such as Bill Graham ([whose] time as Scribe is conveniently missing from the archives).” Many note how the men saw Fempon as inferior to their “Episkopon,” with one respondent saying Fempon is, “seen as second fiddle to Manpon for the simple fact that they are women.” Victoria recalls how one year Manpon left during Fempon’s time at the Second Reading, and then the next year they deliberately went over the allotted time.

“Though it never happened, for Victoria, memories of holding her girlfriend, crying each other to sleep over the possibility of being outed can never be forgotten.” Adding to this institutionalized misogyny, former Head of College Tina Šaban points out that Manpon’s criticisms against Fempon are often gendered: either that their voices are too high pitched or the reading is bratty and annoying, with some just blatantly saying women just are not as funny. Most interviewees commented

that Fempon is at least trying to be better, and that conflating the two distinct branches would be ignoring such efforts. We can see why. With these differences in mind, there are still many similarities between the two societies: their opt-out policies, their jokes on sexuality and gender, and their institutional whiteness. Several respondents noted that neither Manpon nor Fempon consistently follows the opt-out policy, a method of preventing someone who does not wish to be mentioned from being spoken about during readings. Fempon ignoring Tina Šaban’s requests not to be mentioned during her Headship acts as a prime example. One respondent claims that the opt-out policy “is inherently harmful, as it places the onus on Members of College, many who may have never been to a reading or know exactly what they are opting out of, instead of on the members of Episkopon.” Another respondent states that students are often hesitant to make use of the opt-out policy due to the social stigma and “isolation” that can result from it. Evidently, an opt-out policy, rather than an opt-in policy, perpetuates a threatening, anti-consent culture. Too often we hear Editors and Scribes asking for forgiveness and defending their actions, rather than asking the permission of those they mention. Oppressive comments slip through the cracks With the failed opt-out policy in mind, it is not shocking that inequitable and oppressive comments slip through the cracks. Most respondents acknowledge the way in which both Episkopon branches transphobically conflate body parts

Salterrae • October 2015 with gender identity (i.e. women with vaginas and breasts; men with penises). Several respondents remember hearing jokes that outed students as gay, bisexual, or queer, with Victoria Reedman confirming her personal experiences of nearly being outed by Fempon. Though it never happened, for Victoria, memories of holding her girlfriend, crying each other to sleep over the possibility of being outed can never be forgotten. As for racism within Episkopon, many people of colour (PoC) strongly agree that both Episkopons are overwhelmingly white, with one respondent emphasizing how PoC are more excluded within Manpon than within Fempon. One respondent feels that PoC involvement is tokenized, while another states Episkopon contributes to the white supremacy seen at Trinity College. As one student puts it, “Episkopon still upholds the idea of white supremacy, the “us vs. them” mentality. It’s gross.” With “social Trin” and Episkopon being so interlocked, most of the interviewees discussed how Episkopon promotes an inequitable culture at Trinity. “Episkopon is an outdated and frankly embarrassing tradition of shaming students, hidden under the guise of humour and politics. It is inherently exclusionary and discriminatory, two things we have worked our hardest to eradicate within Trinity,” says one respondent. In fact, many said that they were deeply uncomfortable with Pon Editors’ involvement in equity initiatives at Trinity.

We have all heard excuses from both Manpon and Fempon to not judge their years’ Triad on the last one. Undeniably, what is said and done in a year depends on the Triad. However, this revolving door complex should not be an excuse, but rather an explanation of why Episkopon can never sustain reforms. The success of equity initiatives of one year is both vulnerable and contingent on next year’s cohort. With the Triad constantly changing, what remains the same is its base structure: a group of active Members of College, divided according to the gender binary, ridiculing any student’s deviation from the norm. That basis is forever inequitable. In this opinion we are not alone. When asked whether reform is possible, the vast majority of our sample said no. “I think the only way it can end is if people recognize how little it contributes to our community and how much [it] holds us back, ultimately deciding not to feed into it,” says Tina Šaban. The aforementioned former Scribe agrees, saying, “I don’t see a way to improve Epis-

Possibility of Reform After all of this, is there a chance at reforming this culture of exclusivity? When we look at the people involved in Pon, the vast majority of them are kind people. We agree with the former Scribe who said, “I don’t think people in Pon are bad people. I think that they are trying to make it better.” It is important to note that one current Fempon Editor sees the current leadership trying to act as “a resistance to the hegemonic white/straight/male/ upperclass Trin perspective or narrative.” Still, we are not talking about Episkopon as a group of individuals. We are talking about a deeply impended institution, one that perpetuates a form of Orwellian groupthink, immune from criticism and dissociated from its harmful realities. Thus, substantive reform remains unattainable.

“Episkopon is an outdated and frankly embarrassing tradition of shaming students, hidden under the guise of humour and politics. It is inherently exclusionary and discriminatory, two things we have worked our hardest to eradicate within Trinity.”

kopon. I just don’t want people to attend it and for it to just die off. There aren’t many people there as it stands.” Another student notes, “With the main point being to make fun of other Members of College, I don’t see an equitable and productive way for the group to move forward.” As momentum grows to oppose and delegitimize Episkopon’s place within “social Trin,” we should perhaps end with a more Episkopostive note. For Second Year Trinity student Basil Southey, the bigotry and homophobia of Episkopon convinced him to create a club called, “Episkopositive,” a same-day alternative to Episkopon with actual ice cream socials and positive comments for all wishing to be involved. As Basil and his Episkopals prepare to request funding from the Finance Committee, “to show incoming students that Trinity can actually be a nice place with very welcoming people,” we can only help but smile. Perhaps this article will be just one of many like-minded campaigns that seek to make Trin more equitable and more inclusive.

Damian Klambauer • The Mouldy Clam

The Mouldy Clam Jaded Juicy Ramblings from an Upper Year By: Damian Klambauer Illustration: Giselle Wenban Night falls. this season and the signs of the coming winter are all about. Nature’s bosom, once so pert and firm, now sags heavily, blowing here and there in the brisk autumnal breeze. As it completes its pendulous undulations, crisp brown leaves float in and become firmly lodged, only to spill unceremoniously out after being ground by the leathery flesh into a fine powder. Such is life, and time and tide wait for no one. Snaking my shower drain the other day (sadly this is no euphemism), I found a grey pubic hair. Due to the sinisterly literal meaning of that last segue, I spinsterly determined it to be one of mine, and I knew that my time had passed. Dedicated readers of the Salterrae may recall that I served this publication faithfully as sex columnist last year. But, alas, the realization of my recent dry decrepitude has convinced me it is time to pass the ribbed torch, to fade away into mammarial memory, to let someone younger spread their wings and legs in the role. There is still work to be done; however, and before I retreat to the ice floe waiting to carry my withered body across the horizon to the isle of Internship and the distant shore of Graduation, it is my aim to pass down some hard-won wisdom and bitter, opinionated rants to the metamorphosing pupae of college. Mistakes often conceal valuable lessons: for some lessons there are better ways to learn than by being hospitalized by an inhaled French fry at a suburban McDonald’s, or than by accidentally nearly choking to death during a continental breakfast by attempting to seductively eat a pineapple slice while maintaining full eye-contact.

The lesson hiding in these mistakes of mine is that solid food is treacherous, and you should never stray from your juice cleanse. Personally I find that the best juicesare those made by timeless tradition, without the adultery of modern juicing.

“The lesson hiding in these mistakes of mine is that solid food is treacherous, and you should never stray from your juice cleanse.” The particular juice I have in mind has successfully cleansed the stomachs of generations of students before us. It starts life as a barrel full of grapes, and then an old French woman is paid to stomp all over it. The more calloused her feet the better and more complex the flavour. This nuance lead to the legal banning of pumice stones in the Bordeaux region of France, when the area was known by the historical name of “Soreteaux.” Tragically, this ban has been threatened in recent years by proposed legislation intended

to stimulate the French beauty industry, put forth by Monsieurs Petit & Curie of the National Assembly. This short sighted legislation endangers traditional methods of juicing, and accordingly, international grape growers have come together pledging to put money from the sales of their juice towards stopping this legislation in its smooth, well pedicured tracks. So with an empty glass and a full heart I encourage you all, dear readers, to vote with your money and mouths to save this ancient means of juicing. This is one tradition that should never die. Now that about wraps up this column. I promised advice and a rant, and I’ve delivered both, so I’m off to bed in order to make the early bird special at the Sid Smith Timmies.

“This is one tradition that should never die.”

Dorm Room

Decorating Once again, it has come time for Staples to herald us into the new school year. As always, they have barraged us with cheery Christmas music even more prematurely than expected. If you are like me, though, Christmas comes early in the form of shiny binders, gimmicky tech, and other such gizmos that are equal parts pricey, flashy, and superfluous. These marketing teams have me right where they want me. I think “Back to school” is the most wonderful time of the year.

Salterrae • October 2015 As you can see, I’m a big fan of pillows and motivational sayings. I also really liked my fairy lights because they were softer on the eyes than my overhead light; I decided to keep them all up all year, not just for the holidays. Since it has been a while since I have had a dorm room of my own, I needed to do my dorm decorating research too. For you, my lovely in-res froshlings, I ventured into the depths of Trinity College to dig up some inspiration from dorm rooms past at the Archives. This Saint Hilda’s dorm room from the late nineties or early 2000s sets the bar pretty high. The red and green colour scheme brings a sense of cohesion and sophistication. Also, this girl even managed to keep a hanging plant alive! Kudos to you if you can do the same; it might be a comfort to those of you who aren’t used to the concrete jungle just yet.

This has never been more true for me than in 2012, the year I became a first year. Back then, the Jonas Brothers were still together, Mally the monkey was safe from the Biebs, and we could all patiently await the Mayans’ apocalypse, blissfully unaware of the shaking harlems, styling gangnams, and Robining Thickes to come. Those were simpler times. I was your standard issue bright-eyed Trin kid. I started researching programs and courses before I even applied, I memorized all the chants I could find on Wikipedia, and I visited the campus at every opportunity like some sort of lovesick Sir Giles Gilbert Scott groupie. Trinity College is full of keeners and proud of it, so I suspect that some of you first years might be speaking my language here. To you, I would like to say welcome! I hope you had a great time during frosh week and made lots of awkward acquaintances and a couple of solid friends. For those of you who live in res, aren’t you the lucky ones? You get to spend all year gradually getting to know your neighbours a little too well, 3am showers and all. Living in res is such a good time. For many of us, it is our first taste of independence. Dorm living means being able to snack whenever you want, procrastinate for as long as you want, and have your friends at your disposal 24/7. I took a lot of pride in my dorm room in first year, and not just because the room got cleaned once a week and I didn’t want to seem like the biggest barbarian in Owen House. I kept dirty dishes to a minimum, put up some posters, and even laid out a rug. It was all highly civilized. Below, I present to you photographic evidence that I am qualified to dole out dorm decorating advice.

This dorm room is from around the same time and it demonstrates the power of the poster. They’re cheap, they’re everywhere, and they come in so many different varieties. Even if they are a bit tacky, there is a reason why students love them: they’re a great way to personalize your room with minimum effort. This room also gets major points because the resident and the bed have clearly coordinated plaid outfits.

Emma Smith • Dorm Room Decorating

A century of interior style By Emma Smith Photography: Trinity College Archives

The roommates in this Saint Hilda’s dorm room obviously shared a “go big or go home” vision for their shared space; it is so nice to see roommates getting along! It is also nice that they managed to put so many personal items on display; if you do the same, your room might start to feel more like a home-away-from-home, thereby warding off any pesky homesick feelings.

These suave individuals are partaking in what appears to be the classiest dorm hang-out in the history of dorm life. These four have the right idea: filling your room with good company is the best way to make a space special.

Pictured here is the aftermath of what I assume must have been a pretty great party at early 1900s Trinity College. It’s a total mess, yes, but think of the amazing memories that came along with all that disarray. At the risk of sounding corny, it’s the memories that you make in your little corner of Trinity College that matter most. The best way to decorate is to fill your room with the things and the people that make you happy so that the good times can follow.

Wright looks like the picture of collegiate comfort snuggled up in his 1904 dorm room at the original Trinity College site on Queen Street. Even if you can’t fit in a rocking chair like Wright, you can prioritize comfort in your dorm room by investing in decent bedding or a mattress topper. Also, notice the floor.

Special thanks to Sylvia Lassam and Amie Lalonde at the Trinity College Archives for their help.

Salterrae • October 2015

REALPOLITIK Realistic and Practical Politics By: Michael Johnston Illustration: Adriana Workewych Trinity is known for its political nature--probably more so than any other college on campus. Trin’s incredibly opinionated student body, and the plenty of alumni who’ve become involved in provincial and federal politics, (including our current Prime Minister’s two week stint at Trinity) make for an interesting dynamic. Even if current events on Parliament Hill or the latest territorial takeover by ISIS are not your thing, you will certainly end up discussing politics in next few months. You may surprise yourself. Now, you may be wondering why an arts student with very little exposure to collegiate politics chose this topic. It struck me as a good opportunity to share how I got through my first year with almost no knowledge of how to navigate new and controversial issues or how student-run direct democratic proceedings worked, but ended up enjoying College politics which actually turned out to be relatively easy. Here are a few things I learned along the way: TCM Every third Monday night, gowned students eager to show their political prowess flock to The Buttery with laptops and textbooks in hand, ready to finish those last 500 words of their midterm essay while listening to budgets getting approved like the true multitaskers we are, yet somehow get caught up in the heat of the moment. Especially if the meeting is graced with the presence of an elusive UTSU representative… The TCM (Trinity College Meeting) is the body composed exclusively of students governing all clubs and events at Trinity, handling everything from finances and budgets to setting the social calendar to maintaining and amending the policies of the constitution. Though some consider the TCM monotonous and, at times, inaccessible, it is an exciting way to see direct democracy in action and to get involved in issues that matter to you. I was sceptical at first and did not know what to expect, but once you get the hang of the TCM and figure out the lingo, it is amazing. The amount that our community can accomplish in one night might actually make you believe that we are actual, real, functioning adults, (if only for a few hours). This past year, many of us were

lucky enough to be present at the longest recorded TCM in recent history—which may sound excruciatingly boring, but somehow made it more fun! To see students from all different opinions and beliefs come together to make a lot of positive change in their community is not a bad way to spend a Monday night. FACEBOOK Social media is a great way to keep up with the current happenings and upcoming events, especially the ones you clicked attending on Facebook just so people think you are being productive. Really, you had no intention of showing up. Facebook provides a great way of reminding you of that with its relentless notifications. In fairness, there are so many events during the year at Trinity it can be hard to keep track. The clubs at Trinity and the broader U of T host a myriad of events throughout the year and many will include guest alumni, politicians, and panels of people from the immediate and extended community. They provide a great forum to “network” and “synergize” with “like-minded people.” Maybe if you actually make it to something you said “Yes” to on Facebook, you might meet someone interesting, or get a few new LinkedIn Connections. Also, if there are free snacks and libations, you absolutely, one hundred percent, have no excuse not to go.

Granted, sometimes debates will get heated, including whether Strachan cookies or Ice Cream Sundaes are better, many times hitting too close to home. And yes, you may square off with some of your closest friends in the comment section of a ‘Class of 2019’ post. Regardless, enjoy the political roller coaster, try something you wouldn’t have last year, but remember it’s important to take everything, from Trinity to your wider undergrad experience with a grain of salt. I mean we are the salt of the earth, aren’t we? It’s only logical.

To see students from all different opinions and beliefs come together to make a lot of positive change in their community is not a bad way to spend a Monday night.

Rachel Copp Clark • Horoscopes

AQUARIUS: (January 20 - February 18) The fifth moon will be in your Jupiter house at some point in the next 4.5 minutes to 17 months. Jupiter represents ‘Thursday’ and the colour yellow. Clearly this means that you must take advantage of celestial radiations that will settle in the third axis of Ketu. Understand? Good, because it’s 0, super important that you understand this. Lives depend on it. Famous Aquarius: The Kaleem M. Hawa

Horoscopes

was bound to happen eventually. It’s ok though, nothing overwhelmingly bad will happen, more like a collection of small inconveniences that add up to one big annoyance. Your ability to think up lies on the spot may also be challenged. Don’t be afraid to run really fast - problems will catch up, but at least you’ve given yourself a few minutes to think up some bullshit explanation. Famous Virgo: I’m getting too lazy to keep googling these

Is Retrogade even a filter? By Rachel Copp Clark

PISCES: (February 19 - March 20) An important theme in your life this year is going to be taking risks. Jupiter is in your 11th house of the 45th moon or something so I predict that you’re going to have really good luck this month. Apply for that job you’ve wanted for a while or finally talk to your crush who is probably out of your league. Whatever you decide, just go all out. The stars told me to tell you that so if things don’t work out for you it’s totally their fault and not mine. I would apologize in advance but I also don’t care that much. Famous Pisces: Rihanna

LIBRA: (September 23 - October 22) (I really don’t understand how these dates work literally every website tells me a different thing) Things will all fall into place this year, even when you feel like it won’t. Until then, just fake it till you make it. When the impending reality just feels like too much, skip breakfast and just pour most of a bottle of wine into your thermos before you go to class. Sometimes getting dressed is hard, but getting drunk and ignoring your problems never is. Famous Libras: ZAC EFRON OMG

ARIES: (March 21 - April 19) Romance is in the air this year, just over the south-west end of Con Hall. If you don’t happen to have any classes there then chances are you’re going to strike out again this fall semester. However, wind directions vary as much as the accuracy of these horoscopes, so don’t panic yet! Famous Aries: John Strachan

SCORPIO: (October 23 - November 21) You’re going to die sad and alone in this world. Also, look out for a pleasant surprise! Famous Scorpio: Probably a lot of boys

TAURUS: (April 20 - May 20) Do some basic research for your first essay of this semester, starting with Wikipedia. After following a bunch of those tempting blue links, you’ll find out that 5 of the ingredients in Strachan meatloaf are illegal everywhere except for North Korea. Learning new things is so fun! In terms of your love life, you’ll have a pretty typical year. What starts out as an innocent flirtation will soon turn into a life-altering, soulcrushing emotional roller coaster of an experience that will leave your ego bruised and broken on the side of the road outside a remote tundra village. Have a great year :) Famous Taurus: me lol GEMINI: (May 21 - June 20) How’s your summer been Gemini? I have a feeling the answer is something along the lines of tragic. I know this because the planets told me, but also because it’s really obvious to anyone within 100 feet of you. So you’ve hit a bit of a rut; it happens. Take the time to fix yourself, by whatever means you think are necessary (but seriously please don’t murder anyone). Famous Gemini: Kanye West, Mayo Moran

CANCER: (June 21 - July 22) This year will all be about making connections for you. Not on LinkedIn though, because everyone seems to be ignoring your requests. Don’t worry, animals can be your friends even if you don’t have any. But be careful: as much as you are tempted to, don’t make friends with that one squirrel that hangs around the quad all the time and has patches of fur missing. Run away. Seriously. I think it has rabies. Famous Cancer (survivors): Lance Armstrong LEO: (July 23 - August 22) Before this school year is over, you’ll realize that the love you are currently experiencing is unlikely to ever be shared by your significant other. Actually, significant other is kind of a disturbing way to refer to your loved one. Why not call them “that one I follow around” or “unstranger”? That would be more accurate. However, the stars are telling me they will black out and have to get their stomach pumped before the pre for the pre before the next pub night even starts. Karma is on your side. Famous Leo: Obama, the 2nd best Jonas Brother (Joe). VIRGO: (August 23 - September 22) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re about to have a shitty couple weeks, Virgo. It

SAGITTARIUS: (November 22 - December 21) Sagittarius kind of sounds like a STD. But don’t worry- just use protection when you meet up with your next tinder ‘coffee date’ and you probably won’t get one. At some point this year, your brain will start overflowing with ideas, some of which are truly brilliant and you must focus on making your dreams a reality. Oh wait, no. I think that’s just the ‘party favour’ someone offered you at Toga Party talking. Famous Sagittarius: chlamydia CAPRICORN: (December 22 - January 19) The school year is about to begin, Capricorn, and it’s bringing a whole lot of uncertainty with it. So that sucks for you. It’s ok though because I’m here to save the day by telling you some things that are pretty much guaranteed to happen: If you are extremely tired, you may find that you fall asleep at some point. Your trincest will be revealed during a nighttime fire drill. You’ll wipe out on ice in the quad during the winter. You’ll be annoyed by TCBeats Facebook notifications. You’ll probably realize that your degree makes you unemployable. People will spend an unnecessary amount of time arguing over whether to end the TCM early or not. By February, 90% of the mugs from Strachan will be stolen. You’re welcome. Famous Capricorn: Zayn Malik

Salterrae • October 2015

Goings On About Town By: Simone Garcia

MUSIC and THEATER What: Lianne La Havas – After discovering this artist when she opened for Bon Iver way back in 2011, I can assure you that neither your time, money, nor eardrums will have gone to waste if you choose to see her in concert this fall. Where: Danforth Music Hall, 147 Danforth Ave. When: October 2nd Cost: $32.50 What: Coeur de Pirate – Supporting Canadian talent is cool. Cooler still? The sultry, sweet, and downright irresistible sounds on Coeur de Pirate’s third album, Roses. Not to be missed! Where: Phoenix Theatre, 410 Sherbourne St. When: October 7th Cost: $29.50 What: Shania Twain – Get your boots and hearts ready because Shania is back in town! Country girls, it’s time to shake it. Don’t miss the mechanical bull at Rock N’ Horse (250 Adelaide St. West) if you want to continue the fun postconcert. Where: The Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St. When: October 11th Cost: Tickets starting at $73.00

Lake (easily accessible via GO transit). When: Until October 31st Cost: Starting at $36.70

FOOD and CULTURE What: Sweet Jesus – What screams summer better than soft-serve? Reminisce about the warmer days of old with a fluffy cotton candy cone that’s just as good for your teeth as it is for your waistline. Sweet Jesus, that was good. Where: 106 John St When: When the flavour calls. Cost: Soft-serve delight will set you back $4-6 in general, although the fancier you get, the higher the price. What: Nuit Blanche – Art once again reigns supreme during this all-night festival. Be sure to pick up a map beforehand to plan your route, and remember to pace yourself – art is what you make of it. Where: All over the city. When: October 3rd, starting at sunset.

Cost: Gloriously free! What: The Royal Agricultural Winter Fair – Giant pumpkins, butter sculptures, poutine, oh my! What’s not to love about hundreds of farm animals competing for the greatest victory of all? That in itself could be a reality TV show to rival the Kardashians. Just don’t give a cow an earring. Where: Ricoh Coliseum, 45 Manitoba Dr. When: November 6-15th. Cost: $20-25. What: Toronto’s Haunted Walks – Get into the Halloween spirit early this year with a spooky walk around the city. A guided tour of all the haunted hot spots in Toronto, a Haunted Walk includes stories of military Toronto, public hangings, haunted theatres, and some terrifying encounters at some of the city’s old museums. Attendees hear stories from the darker side of Toronto’s history. Where: Hockey Hall of Fame, 30 Yonge St. When: Until October 31st. Cost: $120

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What: Tove Lo – Scandinavian sensation Tove Lo will be in Toronto on behalf of her Queen of the Clouds tour this October. Deemed “Sweden’s Darkest Pop Export” by Rolling Stone, if you haven’t checked her out already (i.e. you moved here from Mars), now is the time. Where: Sound Academy, 11 Polson St. When: October 13th Cost: $24.50 What: Sweet Charity – Set in 1960s New York, the bold, bright, and colourful is brought to life by dance hall hostess Charity Hope Valentine. When Valentine, who always seems to end up with the wrong guy, is trapped in an elevator with a meek, mild-mannered man, her love life changes forever – but for the better? Check it out and report back. Where: Shaw Festival Theatre, Niagara-on-the-