December 2015

December 2015

Empire Saint of Mind A Fashion report on the biggest event of the semester pg.

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Inside the Trinity College Book Sale

The volunteers behind 40 years of Graham Library Fundraising pg.

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Jim Balsillie The former CEO of RIM on his experiences at Trinity College pg.

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Content

December 2015

Features A Letter from the Editors p. 2 Alumni Ben Crase p.3 Chez Rau-Di Aditya Rau p.4

Jim Balsilllie

by:

Kaleem Hawa interviews the former CEO of RIM on his formulative experience at Trinity.

Buttery Parties Sydney Bradshaw p. 5 Quiz: What Trin Animal Are You Danielle Pal & Emily Shaw p. 10 eXaMAS

Pg. 7-9

Fashion at Saints of the Century by:

Rachel Chen p.11 Friends and Friendstm Jullianne DeGara p.12

Kaleem Hawa

Rhianon Langford

Who was the best dressed at Saints Charity Ball?

Pg. 14-15

Guardians of Trinity College Christina Collis p.20 The Mouldy Klam Damien Klambauer p.21 The Post-Honeymoon Cure Marissa Martins p. 22 ODIFAQ Ondiek Odour p. 23

Beyond the Bookshelves by:

Simone Garcia

Take a look at the volunteers who made 40 years of the Trinity College Booksale possiable.

Pg. 16-17

Jeepers Creepers!

Emma Smith p. 24 Students React to... the Federal Election Michael Johnston p. 25

Frank Iacobucci

Horoscopes Rachel Copp Clark p. 26

A student reflects on the Larkin-Stuart Lecture.

by:

Things to Do Around Town Simone Garcia p. 28

Arjun Ghandi

Pg. 18-19

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Salterrae • December 2015

Masthead

Editor-in-Chief

Senior Photographer

Senior Copy Editor Simone Garcia

Treasurer Rhiannon Langford

Senior Design Editor

Salterrae Contributors

Salterrae Executive

Columnists Sydney Bradshaw

Madeline Torrie

Nathan Chan

Claire Shenstone-Harris

Copy Editors

Sarah Barlow Millman Nikita Gupta Danielle Pal

Design Editors

Amanda La Mantia Terra Morel Adriana Workewych

Rachel Copp Clark Julianne de Gara Simone Garcia Damian Klambauer Marissa Martins Ondiek Odour Trinity College Fashion Society Aditya Rau

Director of Communications Arjun Gandhi

Writers

Ben Crase Christina Collis Arjun Ghandhi Danielle Pal Emily Shaw Simone Garcia

Photographers and Illustrators Nathan Chan Conner Campbell Trisha de Souza Amanda La Mantia Mirka Loiselle Marissa Martins Claire Shenstone-Harris Giselle Wenban Adriana Workewych

Staff Writers

Rachel Chen Kaleem Hawa Michael Johnston Emma Smith Letter From The Editors

Dear loyal readers of the Salterrae, We, the editors of the Salterrae, would like to extend our most sincere gratitude to the Trinity College community for not removing us from power. While disassociation might have allowed us more creative freedom, perhaps a legal veil we could use to allow Rachel to publish swear words, it would certainly be unfortunate to dismiss one of the few organizations at this college which uses student funds appropriately (re. Salterrae Budget line item 6: Beer, Nachos -$500). At least we are not the Lit. We digress. We no longer notice the bitterness of the air, because it mimics the bitterness of our own souls after realizing that we will be here until December 21st with no one to share the holiday season except for our space heater and the mickey of Absolut Vodka we have had in our mini-fridge since frosh week. As predictably as the Strachan hall menu for weekend brunch, fall has indeed fallen, Students have fallen (at Saints), and both mid-terms and Rhodes scholarships have become a convenient excuse for not submitting articles.

Amidst the doom and gloom of the impending Toronto winter, there is one beacon of hope. For while the second issue of the Salterrae might not warm your soul, pages 7-9 will make excellent kindling.

Forever Salty, Madeline Torrie, Claire Shenstone-Harris & Simone Garcia

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Ben Crase • A Road Less Travelled

A Road Less Travelled By: Ben Crase As Christmas approaches, most fourth year students are becoming experts at responding to the familiar prompt: “So what’s your plan for next year?” In my fourth year, most of my friends proudly announced their intention of going to law school. I often thought to myself, “if everybody else is going to law school, shouldn’t I be going too?” However, I was still trying to figure out what exactly you studied when you got there.

Unsure, I defaulted to graduate studies in the UK. Yet, as the year crept towards its conclusion, I wondered whether I had chosen the right program. Come September, would I find myself once again trying to answer those who wanted to know my “plan” for the following year - but this time with a mountain of debt in tow?

“Ultimately, I am encouraging that you continue to be ambitious, but on your own terms. You will continue to work hard no matter what you do.”

Unexpectedly, a former teacher asked if I would be interested in spending the year as an associate faculty member at my high school. My doubts about grad school and the sexiness of having an actual “job” upon graduation left me unable to refuse the chance to work at a boarding school in Port Hope, Ontario. My parents were skeptical of my sudden about-face. Looking for reassurance, I promised I would return to school the following year.

Going into September, I decided that this year would be a “break” and give me the chance to reconsider my program choices and dedicate more time to completing scholarship applications.

While I entered the year with benign intentions, I soon realized my experience would become far more enriching than I expected.

In my new job, my time was split between coaching and working in the classroom and residence. Most importantly, I’ve had the chance to work, converse, and learn from a group of professionals that hold a wide array of values and priorities. It gave me the chance to think about the type of people I can and cannot work with; the type of jobs I could and could not endure; and what I need to do in order to find fulfillment in my work every day.

As September rolled into October, I was thinking less about my school applications and more about what kind of life I wanted to live. I felt more fulfilled working than I ever did while at school.

While I once thought I was just delaying my return to grad school, I was in fact receiving an education about working in the real world as an adult. By accepting a different work portfolio for this year, I have decided to further delay schooling and I couldn’t be happier.

“Your parents, despite their good intentions, will similarly persuade you to continue working towards one of the predictable careers that “you’ve always wanted,” read: status and financial security. “ Attempting to understand my transformed outlook, I came across William Deresiewicz’s latest book: Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life. In his book, Deresiewicz describes the high school meritocratic arms race that “manufactures students who are smart and talented and driven… [but]… a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what they’re doing but with no idea why they’re doing it.”

“It gave me the chance to think about the type of people I can and cannot work with; the type of jobs I could and could not endure; what I need to do in order to find fulfillment in my work I found Deresiewicz’s assessment strangely compelling because I saw myself as the product of this depiction he describes in many ways.

Deresiewicz opens the book describing his work “as a letter to my twenty-year-old self.”

He could have just as easily entered my own name. Serendipitously I have been following Deresiewicz’s cure for the past two years: take time off.

As high achieving students, we all share a narrow set of experiences and expectations about what we can or should do. Opting to experience life beyond the highly structured bubble you have

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lived in for the past twenty years will give you the chance to think about the next big steps you want to take in your life.

While taking the time to reflect on how I want to define living a meaningful life, I have pursued intellectual interests and read books that I had always been “too busy” to read while at school. I have also worked to adopt a healthy lifestyle. The idea I would ever become a runner would have seemed ridiculous two years ago.

For all of you fourth year students that think grad school or law school are the only two acceptable things you can do with your life, consider taking a year (or two) to learn about working in the real world.

Don’t go on to grad school unless you are confident with what will be waiting for you on the other side.

If you don’t, you will still be left wandering and broke, or stuck carrying the guilt of delaying your parents from enjoying their retirement due their newly incurred debt.

“For all of you fourth year students that think grad school or law school are the only two acceptable things you can do with your life, consider taking a year (or two) to learn about working in the real world.”

To many, this proposition sounds ridiculous.

Secretly, we feel like we cannot let our foot off the gas for fear of falling behind our peers. Your parents, despite their good intentions, will similarly persuade you to continue working towards one of the predictable careers that “you’ve always wanted,” read: status and financial security.

Ultimately, I am encouraging that you continue to be ambitious, but on your own terms. You will continue to work hard no matter what you do.

In fact, this will also be easier in the long term if you are truly satisfied with your career trajectory.

Taking the time to reflect on the life you want to live now will greatly help you live a more fulfilling adult life in the years to come. As Deresiewicz suggests: “Don’t wait ‘till you’re forty to wake up.

Wake up when you’re twenty.”

Salterrae • December 2015

Chez Rau-Di

Dollars, Drinks, and Dives

By: Aditya Rau Illustration: Amanda La Mantia I was recently watching an episode of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday - sue me - during which Oprah asks her guests to describe their respective idols.

As I reflected on the many leaders, thinkers and mentors that have shaped my worldview, the first person who came to mind was Guy Fieri, host of Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. As winter sets in, our instincts warn us from venturing too far from campus; after all, someone has to keep The Duke’s doors open. We are encouraged to amass the appropriate quantities of food and drink for the long hibernation ahead, a feat involving an unhealthy dependence on Strachan food. Fortunately, Mother Nature seems to be delayed on the Union Pearson Express, conveniently offering us all a few more weeks to explore the city’s gastronomic scene. What follows is a tribute to my idol: The Salterrae’s very own “Dollars, Drinks and Dives” Dollars - The priciest of the pricey. The “Treat Yoself ” of treats.

Auberge Du Pommier Fun, Flirty, Fancy and French. Auberge is certainly the latter two, with Fun and Flirty both being dependent on the volume of Bordeaux imbibed. Built around woodcutters’ cottages from the 1860s, Auberge is one of the two crown jewels in Oliver and Bonnacini’s empire of restaurants, the other being Canoe. If you’re in for dinner, begin your relationship with la cuisine française by enjoying the melt-in-your-mouth foie gras or the exquisite tartare. If everything looks far too delicious to choose from, fear not - the $100 Chef ’s Tasting Menu will leave you exclaiming “Oh là là!”

Dai Lo Dai Lo means both “big brother” and “gangster boss” in Cantonese. So whether you’re being a generous sibling or need a place to talk about la cosa nostra, chef/owner Nick Liu has you covered. Serving up delicious Chinese food, complemented by French techniques, many of the dishes on Dai Lo’s menu reflect Liu’s upbringing as the son of Hakka parents in Canada. Of particular note on the menu are the Map “Doufu” Halloumi, served with black bean chilli sauce and grilled scallions, and the Mongolian Grilled Lamb Neck, which is brought to life by a

mouthwatering sambal pickle cucumber celery.

Should you find yourself waiting for a table, visit Dai Lo’s sister establishment Lo Pan to sample their Big Mac bao and KFC popcorn tofu, while sipping on Asian inspired cocktails such as the Ichi-Go Ichi-E. Jacob’s and Co. Vegans, vegetarians, pescatarians - stay away. Jacob’s and Co. does one thing, and one thing really well - steak. And with great steak comes a hefty price tag! The menu begins at a humble $39 6oz.

Canadian Prime tenderloin and works its way up to a $600 A5 Black Tajima-Gunma Prefecture Japanese ribeye. Of course, every good steak deserves company, and the variety of sides will certainly not disappoint - from creamed spinach to duck fat french fries. Add on Oysters Rockefeller to start, the cellar’s finest red wine and a dessert or two, and allow the realization of not being able to spend a cent for the next six months to wash over you.

Drinks - Tantalizing. Tasty.

If you’ve been resident in Toronto for a while and have yet to make it to Cold Tea, you need to “get with it.”

Bar Chef This Queen St. cocktail laboratory is certainly one of kind. And it’s here you’ll want to bring your colleagues or friends from out of town if you really want them to indulge. Order a cocktail at Bar Chef and you will find yourself waiting an unexpectedly long time for it to appear. When the drink finally reaches your table, you can understand why. Frankie Solarik, molecular mixologist, has put together cocktails that engage all your senses - a “visceral and emotional journey of taste, touch, smell, sound and sight” in his own words.

If you’re dropping in with a friend or colleague, try the Black Truffle: spoons of black truffle snow, coconut foam and fill frond are greeted by elderflower liqueur, leaving your tastebuds thoroughly perplexed. If you’re with a larger group, why not try a punchbowl - the Four Seven Two’s mix of bourbon and cola bitter will certainly quench your thirst. Reservations are recommended for the weekends; drop by the nearby Rush Lane if you’re waiting for a table to open up.

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Picture a cocktail. Now picture a pitcher. Now picture a pitcher full of a cocktail. Give it an hour. And what you end up with is a former Editor-inChief of the Salterrae puking on the bar floor.

Cold Tea If you’ve been resident in Toronto for a while and have yet to make it to Cold Tea, you need to “get with it.” Nestled in the heart of Kensington Market and invisible to the untrained eye, Cold Tea is the spot you take your friends to when it’s your turn to plan a night out. Littered with Asian influences, the unique cocktails, fresh dim sum available till late, and a number of DJ events inject Cold Tea with a certain je ne sais quoi. It’s trendy and hip, home to hipsters and trendsetters.

If you’re a fan of tequila, try the Mexican Firing Squad - it’ll certainly make you feel shot the morning after.

Dives - “Hey, wanna go out tonight?” “Sure, where?” “Idk, what’s cheap and close by?”

Mother’s Dumplings Just south of College and Spadina sits the citywide legend that is Mother’s Dumplings. Simple, unpretentious and focused on food - not service - Mother’s Dumplings is the place to go when a craving for dumplings strikes. Too niche? The extensive menu also offers rice and congee, stews and soups as well as a variety of entrees. That being said, the real stars are the made-to-order dumplings. Start off with the boiled pork and chive, continue on with the steamed beef and celery, and finish with my favourite: the pan fried pork, shrimp and melon. Looking to upgrade your meal? Order a side of kimchi for spice and a Tsing Tao to wash it all down. Delicious!

Bistro 422 Picture a cocktail. Now picture a pitcher. Now picture a pitcher full of a cocktail. Give it an hour.

And what you end up with is a former Editor-inChief of the Salterrae puking on the bar floor.

That, my friends, is Bistro 422.

Sydney Bradshaw • Getting Buttery

Getting Buttery A Timeline of Every Event in the Buttery Ever

By Sydney Bradshaw So, it has been over two months since we have arrived back at Trinity. Classes have begun, Strachan sitting is a thing again, the Quad is covered in a blanket of yellow leaves, and midterms… well, they happened. Of course, the fall term is also known for having tons of social activities, and no location is as popular of a venue as The Buttery. So far, we have had three raucous nights crammed inside the building, listening to the same songs on a loop and dodging the forlorn slices of cheese pizza littering the dance floor. Call me crazy, but these nights seem to all blur into one another. I’m not talking about the drunken haze that blends them all together, but rather the eerie similarity to everything that happens. Having been to a grand total of seven events in the Buttery (or at least, that I remember), I think I am well-qualified to explain the raw and visceral nature of these so-called ‘parties’. I am to the Buttery what Tom Hanks is to Groundhog Day – just your everyday person stuck in an endless loop of the same thing until I learn to rectify my mistakes. So here we go: a timeline of every Buttery party ever, as told by a qualified expert myself.

“‘I am never going to one of these again,’ you whisper to yourself. But deep down, you know you are lying to yourself.”

A Week Before the Event: You are in a boring lecture, scrolling through Facebook when you notice a notification from Reid Dobell. You click on it to discover that you have been invited to an event.

From the much-too-long description and banner covered in uncomfortable stock images, you gather that it is going to take place in the Buttery.

“This time will be better,” you think to yourself, selecting the ‘going’ option.

Thursday, 3:15 pm: You race from your last class to St. Hilda’s. While struggling to find your Tcard in the bottom of your bag, you awkwardly approach the table where Mac Chapin is seated.

As he attaches the sparkly, hot pink band to your wrist, you can’t help but notice the pain in his eyes – a side effect of spending hours staring at an excel spreadsheet.

Thursday, 9:45 pm: Lukas Weese is holding a HUGE pre in sub-Welch. You like his post, but decide to down two shots of tequila alone in your room instead. Because karma is a bitch, you smudge your perfectly winged eyeliner.

Thursday, 10:15 pm – There are approximately ten people in the Buttery. Six of them have organized the event; the other four are there for the pizza. Meanwhile in your room, you drink $11 rosé straight from the bottle.

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Thursday, 10: 50 pm: Most of Trinity is wandering around the Quad, filtering in and out of Whit and Welch. You finish off the wine and venture out of your room. There is a fragrant, plant-like smell wafting from Body.

Friday, 11:38 pm: You finally made it to the Buttery. By now, it is packed, and your eardrums are overwhelmed by the glorious sound of Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’. You dance and mouth the words with vigour, conveniently taking a sip of water anytime a certain word is sung. By the end of the song, you are well hydrated.

Salterrae • December 2015 Friday, 12:03 am: You are seated, phone in one hand and a slice of cold pizza in the other. You watch two 1T9’s on the dance floor. You can’t tell who owns which limb. Everything is very sweaty and your wine has lost its effect.

Friday, 12: 46 am: You sit outside on a bench, pull off your heels and look forlornly into the distance.

Depending on how many assignments you have due the next week, you might shed a tear or two.

A drunk acquaintance walks by and says “Oh my god are you okay?”

You push her away: “I just need…some air.”

“Okay I’m going to leave but like, you are so amazing and special and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” She blows you a kiss and disappears back into the building. You call after her: “LOVE YOU TOO!” This is the first time the two of you have spoken in person.

Friday, 1:16 am: You feel a second, unexpected boost of energy and you find yourself in the middle of the dance floor. Someone walks by with a camera and you begin to pose enthusiastically, spilling your drink in the process. Then you pose with your white shirt covered in rum and coke because for some reason it’s absolutely hilarious.

“I am to the Buttery what Tom Hanks is to Groundhog Day – just your everyday person stuck in an endless loop of the same thing until I learn to rectify my mistakes.”

Friday, 1:53 am: People have been trickling outside for the past half hour, and eventually you follow. It takes you four tries to shove your T6 into the keyhole, and many more to actually make it up the stairs to your room. Once inside, you flop down onto your bed and fall asleep in seconds.

Friday, 12:09 pm: You awaken, groggy and confused, after hitting snooze a dozen times. You check your phone and find that you’ve been tagged in 16 new photos, each more humiliating than the last. “I am never going to one of these again,” you whisper to yourself. But deep down, you know you are lying to yourself.

“‘This time will be better,’ you think to yourself, selecting the ‘going’ option.”

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Kaleem Hawa • On the Shoulders of Giants

On the Shoulders of Giants An Interview with Jim Balsillie, Former Chairman and coCEO of Research in Motion Written by Kaleem Hawa

“It was my first or second day at Trinity and we were up in the Reading Room above Strachan Hall when this guy arrives.”

Jim Balsillie had entered the room briskly. The Waterloo-based Centre for International Governance Innovation (CIGI) where we met was an impressive building by any standard; funded at the behest of the former Research In Motion (RIM) chief executive, its furnished glass, steel, and wood paneling betrayed the aura of the internationallyrespected think tank it sheltered within.

Balsillie continues his story. “So the guy is very clean cut and very young looking. Keep in mind, I am no older than nineteen at the time and yet this guy is seventeen – he had apparently skipped two grades. And of course I’m the tradesman’s son from Peterborough, and so everything here has already been a big step in my life and extremely nerve-wracking. And so I say ‘Hi, I’m Jim, how are you doing?’ And he stops and he says, ‘Hi, I’m Nigel Wright.’”

It was Trinity’s golden era. Wright, who Balsillie would soon learn had served as the President of

the Young Progressive Conservatives of Canada at the age of sixteen, would go on to become Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s Chief of Staff. Balsillie, who shared a hall with “Nige” on 3rd Cos that next year, is firm in his conviction that people do not change all that much.

“I honestly think people are surprisingly who they were in undergrad. Many would be the same in thirty years that they had been while at school.

Nige is who he is. He was brilliant. He still is” Balsillie attended Trinity for four years, living on residence for the entirety of his undergraduate career. He does not enjoy self-mythologizing and, to a large extent, these were pedestrian interactions whose significance only manifested themselves retroactively.

Case in point: “Malcolm and I also met that day.”

Balsillie is, of course, referring to best-selling author, New Yorker staff writer, and prodigious challenger of the status quo, Malcolm Gladwell. “In my first year, I was on 4th Seager and Malcom was sharing a room on 5th Cos. He and his roommate

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didn’t really see eye-to-eye and so Malcolm would always come down to my room to hangout and we would play backgammon; we used to call our table ‘The Juggernaut.’ We would play all throughout the year.”

“We’ve kept in touch quite a bit since we graduated. Back then Malcolm was really smart, and very skinny, and had the crazy hair. And so when I look at him now – it’s no surprise – he is very smart, and very skinny, and has the crazy hair.”

Balsillie continues to describe the array of his contemporaries that had flitted through the college at the time. “I remember being at dinner in Strachan Hall one day in my upper year and Atom Egoyan comes up to me and says, ‘Hey Jim, I’m doing a film, can you act in it?’ and I said ‘sure.’ Atom had won this amateur film festival three years in a row and so was quite an accomplished young guy at the time. So, of course, I agreed. Well, he takes me to the top floor of Graham in one of the tutoring rooms and he says ‘I’m doing a parody on media and technology and its intersections with education.’”

Salterrae • December 2015 “This was 1980.”

“And so he had the room set up with six tape recorders and I had to come in acting as a professor and start to give a lecture to the tape recorders.

And I was supposed to finally get irritated that I’m lecturing to tape recorders and not real students and so then I have to pull out my own tape recorder and record to their tape recorders as a way of critiquing the impact technology would have on education. And so he filmed it. And the next year, a whole bunch of people went to the movies at the Bloor Street cinema and they played the Atom Egoyan short. And then at breakfast that Sunday morning they all came into Strachan and tell me they saw it; Atom tells me he keeps the copy of this thing hidden.”

Balsillie laughs. “That is probably for the best.” *** The vibrancy of Balsillie’s experience extended far past the students that surrounded him.

“I remember coming to Strachan and seeing this Santa Claus figure once a week, big white beard, at High Table. And we were all nervous to be around him. Because it was Robertson Davies.”

Balsillie laughs, “And this was commonplace!

We were surrounded by giants! People would be around Northrop Frye at Vic. And I had Peter Russell and Abe Rotstein as profs. And Professor Carr. And Ken Hare, the environmentalist.

There was Myron Gordon who did the capital asset pricing model. And so we were surrounded by all these brilliant minds. And this added to the academic experience.”

parties on the Thursday nights, I remember those being debauched. 3rd Cos was definitely a real hub in second year – we had myself, and Nige, and Chris Honey right down the hall who won the Rhodes a couple of years later, and we had fun. One year I had a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, so I was in charge of doing the beer runs. I had the only car and got a parking spot out behind the Buttery and so I was tasked with the pick-ups.

That was a great time.”

Other things were very different however: “St. Hilda’s was still all women; it was fortified big time.” They would also play a game called ‘Dictionary.’

Balsillie explains, “what you do is you would open up a dictionary and pick a word. And everyone would have to make a fake definition for it, and people got sucked into your word. We would be so competitive, but it was a great bunch of guys.

We really had a great experience. It wasn’t coed and so there was a lot more mystery about women than there probably is now. But we would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together for four years. And we had fun.”

But it could also be nerve wracking.

“I think the hardest thing was coming to terms with the uncertainty of it all. Because you never know really if it is going to work out. When you are ambitious and you want to achieve, you often don’t know. You just don’t know if it will all

There also was a preponderance of Divinity students at the time. “And that was a very interesting construct; they were very interesting and nice people. When my dad died, the man who did the funeral at my dad’s parish was actually a guy I knew from Trinity who studied Divinity there.

His name is Michael Wright and he serves as a Reverend at Grace Church Cathedral in South Carolina. We had kept close as friends and he actually had christened my goddaughter, as well. It just goes to show the bonds that you form while in school.”

Balsillie continues, “We all thrived and we all did well. Some guys broke up with girlfriends or boyfriends or didn’t get the grade they wanted or didn’t get the scholarship they wanted. But everything ebbed and flowed with the tides I found.

It was a very gifted group, and it was a very fun group. There were a lot of laughs, a lot of sports, a lot of debate.”

Remarkably, much of Trinity’s social scene has remained similar. “We would have tonnes of floor

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go sideways. So you need resilience in the face of that uncertainty. It can be tempting to feel psychologically that you are an imposter. And so Trinity made me realize that I can get through any situation and prevail in that situation if I believe it.

It is almost like being an athlete. In baseball, if the athlete believes that every time the ball comes their way they are going to catch it, they end up wanting the ball and wanting that shot. It’s the difference between saying ‘hit it to me, hit it to me’ and being afraid of it coming your way. It’s the difference between achieving your dreams, and not.”

Balsillie is immersed in thought. “Every ambitious student had those dreams. They would keep those dreams close at hand, but boy, oh boy, they were there. And smart, ambitious people: they all harbour very substantial dreams and they cultivate them. Not everyone achieves them in the same way or at the same pace. Malcolm and I were both on the Time most influential list in the same year, but we had completely different paths to start; he had been a bike courier right out of undergrad while I had gone to work for Clarkson-Gordon.

Some people would start early, some people would start slow and pick up speed, some people would jump out of the gate and then erode; it was all a funny jockeying in the end. To think we were not competitive is silly, of course we were. And the job of the college had been to fundamentally cultivate that readiness to succeed.” ***

Kaleem Hawa •On the Shoulders of Giants “Trinity is not a party school. It is not a place for hosers.”

Balsillie has the utmost respect for the institution and his experiences there. “It was an amazing time, and it was foundationally shaping.

There were wonderful people, many of whom I keep in touch with as friends. I think the greatest benefit Trinity gave me was its intensity, the hothouse nature of it – it really shaped you.”

“To some extent, you respond to the environment that you’re in. Coming to Trinity was essential for my growth because success was calibrated at a far higher level than I had ever experienced before. So you up your game. Being all you can be is very meaningful to me.”

Balsillie came to Trinity from a modest family, and speaks at length about both the formative qualities of his time at the College and the subsequent culture shock of first arriving.

“It was a very intimidating place. And it was elitist, anachronistic, even. But then, I don’t know how, but here I was – a tradesman’s son from Peterborough just entering school – and a week later I would have a gown on and a jacket on and a tie and something had just changed. In my first year, I would be elected the President of the freshman class. Go figure.”

Reflecting on the traditions that define Trinity, Balsillie continues, “it was often like a completely different universe. Like do we still jump over the turnstiles in the subway to go down to Trinity Bellwoods for the Episkopon? That was just otherworldly to me. You know, all that notandi sunt tibi mores? Do we still do grace in Latin? Quae hodie sumpturi sumus, benedicat Deus…? I still remember it. It’s like ‘In Flander’s Fields,’ seared in my memory. I could say it in my sleep; things were certainly different back then.” *** “It was a demanding place, Trinity. You kept up or you didn’t.”

Balsillie underscores this point with a simple thesis. “In my mind, life is a serious exercise. If you’re going take your life seriously, I will take your life seriously. I view it as a moral breach not to work towards your potential. To some extent, we know as a community that wasting your potential is against the rules. We aren’t quite sure what those rules are, but we know that we are supposed to make the most of our experiences in college. So Trinity is a place where you can do a lot to harness your potential if you do it right.”

When pressed on what he would have changed if he had been a student right now, Balsillie has to think. “I would tell people to study unusual combinations; I think of those who did both engineering and music, for instance. I think you have to combine liberal arts expansiveness with the focus of a trade, which has become increasingly – and sadly – absent nowadays. As far as I am concerned, being a philosophy student and then becoming a barista is criminal.”

“I’m a big proponent, therefore, of interdisciplinarity. I believe that being good at something in life is a naturally reductionist exercise and that you have to counteract this with ex-

“Do we still do grace in Latin? Quae hodie sumpturi sumus, benedicat Deus…? I still remember it.

It’s like ‘In Flander’s Fields,’ seared in my memory.” pansionist learning. If you run a company, for example, people end up caring mainly about your revenue and your profits and your market cap. You’re naturally reduced down to that. So I would argue that the greatest benefit of Trinity for me was forcing me to understand the world in a broader context. We had lots of people who became ambassadors, who became leading theologians, who became leading medical practitioners, leading academics, leading business people, political figures, media figures. You had to hold your own and keep up, but you learned immensely in the process.”

Balsillie continues, “to a large extent, that means giving 100% to everything that you do, especially when you’re in your twenties. You will ride the wave that you get yourself on by your late twenties, and so I urge people to give it their all. You will have good time and bad times. Do your very best to stay on the path – that matters a lot. Be very determined. Surround yourself with smart people. Don’t waste your time.”

“I keep coming back to it, but life is serious.

And while goofing around may seem like a really good idea sometimes, when you look back and your goofing around led you to zig when you should have zagged, in the world of compound interest, it is not a good decision! You can make mistakes, but mistakes of non-attention are severe.”

He adds, “immediately after undergrad I went to Clarkson-Gordon and I was the first hire into

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their ‘Entrepreneurial Services’ group. My view of what I wanted to do was to combine conventional business training with emergent technology. And so I thought that if I worked as a business entrepreneur and strategist with technological people, we could reap huge rewards.”

While this has become conventional thinking nowadays, Balsillie had been significantly ahead of the curve at the time. “I am a big Marshall McLuhan guy in my worldview; we have to understand what technology enables and what it disables. I wanted to use technology to rewrite the business rules – I understood the strategic framing of technology but I wasn’t a computer programmer. So a big part of it was working with technical people to make the vision a reality. After two years at Clarkson, I applied to Harvard to do my MBA.” “Then I came back here to Canada. And we did the RIM thing.” *** Jim Balsillie is a nationalist. And he believes in nation building. To many, RIM was a nationbuilding exercise. CIGI was a nation-building exercise. The Arctic Research Foundation was a nation-building exercise. All together, they represented an interdisciplinary foray into capacity-strengthening for Canada, and an investment in palpable innovation.

“We need to build a better capacity for commercializing Canadian ideas. Everyone talks about innovation abstractly, but I talk about it very tangibly. For instance, nobody is against prosperity, it isn’t an ideological issue. What you do with that prosperity is where it becomes ideological. And so I have become weary of the people who take a supplicant approach to our national destiny and to these issues of prosperity. And I call them out. It would be easy to go along to get along. But I believe you’re supposed to leave campfires better than you found them.

To a large extent, tilling the rocky field is an essential element of life. It is a struggle, always a struggle, in pursuit of our potential. In pursuit of better possibilities.”

As Balsillie reflects on his time at Trinity, he recounts the lessons he learned. “Back then, you’re navigating through life and you’re learning and you’re growing and you’re struggling.

And it is a very competitive environment. As a result, you quickly learn that the edge between tremendous success and failure is the finest of edges. One of my aphorisms is that success is about navigating a series of cascading circumstances. And if it works out alright then revisionist history makes it look like you knew what you were doing all along.”

What Is Your Spirit Animal??

By Danielle Pal and Emily Shaw Illustration: Claire Shenstone-Harris

Salterrae • December 2015

T h e foundation of our ecosystem, earthworms comprise the majority of the Trinity community. Your contributions, IR major, and Sperries help make Trin, Trin. So thank you, earthworm. Your compliance and adherence to the laws of nature/social norms of this college is what is keeping us alive, and what will set the pace for the future builders of our micro-niche.

As an endangered species, you are a rare breed that is integral to the diversity of Trinity College. Unfortunately, due to current circumstances, many of those like you have become extinct from our micro-niche. Although there are conservation efforts being implemented to make you feel more included in the community, you can sense traces of inauthenticity, as your species still isn’t thriving. Fight for your survival, Spirit Bear. If not for yourself, then for the other animals at Trinity College. Biodiversity is what makes an ecosystem thrive.

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Danielle Pal and Emily Shaw • What Is Your Spirit Animal?

You are a notorious invasive species. You just insert yourself places where you don’t belong – awkward frat parties, political discussions, and fragile ecosystems. But we know it’s not your fault, as your kind is only harmful due to human arrogance and the act of trying to control nature (aka your parents should have raised you better). Tips to improve: Get excited for the TCES water challenge! We can assure you that your excitement has a place in our competition.

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An Eco-terrorist’s Guide to Poeple at Trinity College

Driven by your Id’s pleasure principle, your wild and endearing personality sets you aside from the rest of the crowd, which gives you a quick seat into “social royalty”. However, like the River Dolphin, most people don’t know how much you like pleasure, and who you are willing to undercut to achieve it. It takes spending extended periods of time with you to see your true behaviour, be it refusing to drink tap water or masturbating with a decapitated fish.

Unfortunately, you are the worst. Your anthropocentric view is detrimental to your immediate surroundings and long-term existence. We suggest you extend moral and intrinsic value to living things others than yourself. In fact, here is a list of tips to help rehabilitate your unruly ways: realize that you’re not the center of the universe; refrain from consuming everything in sight and then mindlessly disposing of it later; stop making fun of vegetarians, etc.

Salterrae • December 2015

Merry eXaMAS!

A Chinese-Canadian Holiday Greeting

By: Rachel Chen Illustration: Mikra Loiselle Born and raised in North America, I never realized how insensitive I have been for appropriating a Western culture which is not my own. With this “holiday season” coming up, I have decided to look into the celebrations of my heritage. My people - inhabitants of the mother country I still have yet to visit, the People’s Republic of China have two important holidays: a moon cake festival and Chinese New Year. Inconveniently, neither of these happen during the Western “holiday season.”

It has taken a long time, but I have finally realized how blind I have been to my participation in the Westernization of holidays. As a non Westerner, I should celebrate my own cultural practices, especially when China has such a rich history of imperialism, and communist rule. The East has a powerful history too, and I should really learn to acknowledge that.

The real holiday season comes later for us. However, it is true that since I have planted myself in Canada, I should try to adopt Western culture.

Christmas seems fun, but it is German… I think.

Yet as an enlightened person, I would never wantto appropriate it. I have never understood the cultural significance of sacrificing pine trees.

“I have never understood the cultural significance of sacrificing pine trees.”

I am actually ashamed to admit that I have celebrated Christmas my whole life. Luckily, I have been educated this year and I now realize my mistake. Everyday Feminism taught me that cultural appropriation and cultural exchange are different.

To make up for my years of exploiting the Christmas holiday, I will offer something back to the Western culture that I have rudely taken as my own.

I propose that we celebrate what has become important to my people during the long winter months in this country – getting A’s. Since I am not only Chinese, but also Chinese Canadian, I will be celebrating the model minority holiday.

Merry eXaMAS Trinitons! Cozy up by the fire and resist the temptation to burn your notes. Forget Santa Claus and mass capitalism - study away in the freezing cold.

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“Merry eXaMAS Trinitons! Cozy up by the fire and resist the temptation to burn your notes. “

Jullianne de Gara • They will be there for you

They Will be There for You Why Making Friends in University is not like

F.R.I.E.N.D.S By: Julianne de Gara Illustration: Giselle Wenban We’ve all imagined the scene: ourselves and five of our closest friends bonding in a coffee shop over the zany experiences of our youth. Somehow, despite whatever differences we may have, these five friends are our platonic (or sometimes not) soulmates, and our friendship can withstand the tests of love, tragedy, and anything else the world throws at us. Some might call it perfect social harmony--the safety which comes from being part of a group while still maintaining enough diversity to keep everyone’s experiences interesting.

Where exactly do we get this picturesque vision from? Obviously, the hit series “Friends.” Monica, Ross, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are the epitome of the perfect friendship; they pretty much all live in the same apartment complex

to settle. At the start of Frosh Week, we all stared longingly at the Second Years who seemed perfectly at ease within their circles, surrounded by old friends. I think every single one of us vowed to become a Frosh Leader in 2016, inspired by how--for lack of a better word--“cool” every older

“You might not all fit around a table in a coffee shop, or live in the same apartment complex forever, but even when your job’s a joke, you’re broke, and your love life’s D.O.A, they’ll be there for you.” person seemed. It’s natural to seek out a particular group of people to call your own. They act as a support group, an advice column, and a group of people who will most assuredly agree to get crazy with you.

However, it’s important to realize that as we grow older, it becomes harder and harder to create our own group of “Friends”. The ideal portrait of the coffee shop is often impractical, and even more so is the concept of having so many kinds of people in a single group of friends.

While some of the friendships in “Friends” are understandable -- Ross and Monica are siblings, Monica and Rachel were childhood friends first -the general group dynamic doesn’t exactly make sense. Where did they find Phoebe? How does Ross manage to get along with anyone but Chandler? How do they all manage to stay friends despite the romantic turmoil? Is it really viable to keep two free roaming fowl in a New York City

“You will have a study squad, a party squad, an “I-just-got-dumped squad”, a food squad and you will have a “Let’s-watchFriends” squad.” , they are always available to meet for coffee en masse, and they manage to have relatively ideal relationships with each other despite their wildly different personalities.

It’s been two months since university started, and the First Years’ “social groups” have begun

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apartment without trouble from your landlord? It seems that “Friends” leaves us with a depiction of friendship that we all aspire to, but is also somehow unattainable.

Rather than trying to create your own perfect sixpack of BFFs, I suggest creating as many friends and groups of friends as you can. The first step in doing so is to realize that not all of your friends will get along--and that this is perfectly okay. You will have friends that you share courses with, you will have friends that were in your Frosh group, and you will have friends in your extracurriculars.

By no means do you have to try to combine all of these friends into one group--trust me, they will not all agree to go to coffee together, no matter how much they might like your company. Even if they did agree, half of them would have class at the time, and the other half wouldn’t know how to interact with each other.

The media easily allows us to idealize things that wouldn’t work or don’t make sense in the real world. Girls in the hospital wearing six pounds of makeup, frequent cases of amnesia, perfect groups of friends - and the list goes on. Tumblr user Galaxycarm put this feeling into words; “F.r.i.e.n.d.s simultaneously makes me happy because it’s great TV but also depressed cause I have no mid-20s coffee shop squad and I totally need one.”

Or at least, youdon’t need only one. Create mosaic of squads, a fluidity of crews, a plurality of possies, and don’t hold onto a preconceived idea of friendship. Your people will find you through a million different means.

You will have friends you only see on weekends, friends you eat breakfast with, and friends that you would walk to the ends of the earth for. Most importantly, you will have friends of all different shapes, sizes, and mindsets. You might not all fit around a table in a coffee shop, or live in the same apartment complex forever, but even when your job’s a joke, you’re broke, and your love life’s D.O.A, they’ll be there for you.

Salterrae • December 2015

Empire Saints Of Style

Written by Rhiannon Langford Photographed by Rhiannon Langford and Nathan Chan

Rachel

As any good patron does, following the dresscode of the hostess is appropriate etiquette. Co-chairs Rachel Copp Clark and Kendra Dempsy were both inspired by bold black-based patterns. Rachel’s art-deco inspired LBD with leather detailing embodied New York’s past and present, paired with dainty gold embellishments to finish off the look.

Weston Behind the artistry of Amanda La Mantia’s backdrop, the sea of LBD’s truly popped. Esme La Fleur’s floral frock paired with strappy patent pumps was certainly a notable ensemble. Special mention is awarded to Adriana Federica for boldly pairing her black maxi with the best lip look of the night - a gilded ombre lip with golden pigments.

Notable fashion was not limited to the skirted few, as Weston Miller stepped right out of West Egg and into St. Hilda’s as a double breasted debonair in his pin-striped suit.

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K

Rhiannon Langford• Empire Saints of Style

With a theme as fashion-forward as New York City, guests at this year’s Saints Charity Ball brought out all of the stops. While the event brings students together in honour of philanthropy, the real focus of the night was Cinderella story transformation from the boat shoe styled and crewneck adorned populous to get-ups even Carrie Bradshaw would be proud of. The Salterrae takes you behind the scenes of the events’ most fashionable outfits.

Katie & Urusla

If the theme of the night had not been the city that never sleeps, feminine lace would be a close runner up. Katie Harris and Ursula Carmichael both adorned lace-embellished back pieces in a complementary black and maroon palette. A fresh-faced Emily Brade also took on the trend with her midi-length lace panelled Anthropologie getup. The look was also taken on by Sarah Harrison, Emily Kuzan, and Hannah Fronenberg, who was no stranger to sheer in a high necked piece in a stunning cobalt.

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Congratulations to the entire Saints executive for providing students with a venue to show off their superior styling, and more importantly, a wonderful night out. While frocks might by tainted by spilling your Long Island Lemonades, one thing can be learned: the Empire State of mind is a evidently sartorial one.

Salterrae • December 2015

Beyond the Bookshelves Celebrating the Book Sale’s 40th Anniversary

By Simone Garcia

Photography: Nathan Chan

A hunting trip in the Scottish Highlands goes awry when two American friends get hopelessly lost, only to stumble upon the mystical town of Brigadoon. Resurfacing from the earth’s depths for just one day every hundred years, Brigadoon’s residents are naturally a bit surprised to find the plucky adventurers, but warmly welcome them.

This was the story recounted to me by Dale McInnes as a metaphor for the yearly re-emergence of the Trinity College Book Sale. In similar fashion to the quirky Scottish tale, the Sale’s friendly volunteers emerge from Strachan’s depths for just ten days every fall, enveloping the College in a warm, bookish embrace.

Year after year, the signs of the Sale are unmistakable: hundreds of boxes appear along Trinity’s corridors – a hint of what is to come – while Sealey Hall transforms into a bazaar of books. However, a mere description of the Sale – with its 60,000+ texts organized into more than seventy-five categories from Cookery to Erotica – would fail to do it justice. Sitting down with McInnes, who works in the Rare Books and Collectibles department, along with fellow volunteers Kathy Girvin and Lorna Reevely, I experienced firsthand the cozy sense of community that characterizes the Book Sale. Indeed, it’s the same sort of bond that defines Trinity itself for many students and staff.

Celebrating its fortieth anniversary this year, the Book Sale got its start as an initiative modelled on the Trinity College Dublin Friends of the Library, and was organized by our very own Friends of the Library – an alumni group formed in 1975. Many Sale volunteers have been involved with the event for decades, and it’s clear when speaking to them that this time of year serves as both a reunion and an opportunity to connect with current students, many of whom volunteer to help bring the books up from the bowels of Strachan, returning unsold volumes back to its depths at the Sale’s end.

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Simone Garcia • Beyond the Bookshelves Girvin, who is both the Friends’ standing President, long-time volunteer, and an avid reader, credits her involvement with the organization to her love of books and to the great friends she’s made helping out over the years. Like those before her, I am certain Girvin will become a “legend volunteer” – one of those inimitable characters whose presence both defines and distinguishes the event. All three – Girvin, McInnes, and Reevely – have fascinating stories, and hearing about their time at university is something special. This was especially apparent when Reevely broke into Mandarin while chatting with a student.

Her mastery of the language is thanks to considerable time spent abroad, in locales such as the Solomon Islands, Nigeria, and – the explanation behind the Mandarin – China.

While McInnes and Reevely moseyed over to Trin from their native Victoria College, Girvin is a Trinity alumni, and fondly recalls High Table dinners, playing an active role in student life at St. Hilda’s, and – interestingly – the commute to and from home. A non-residence student by nature of her Toronto heritage and the modest expense which accompanies oncampus life, Girvin wishes she could have had a fuller participation in extra-curricular activities during her time as a student. Certainly, the many years of Book Sale service have more than made up for lost time.

English Majors, the three are all well read, and were introduced to the Sale through their involvement with Graham Library, whether as a Librarian (in McInnes’ case), or a frequent visitors to the building.

When asked about their current roles, the women are adorably modest. However, the Sale is no small feat – the shelves that line Sealey are handmade, and more are added every year as donations continue to pour in. In total, the Friends have raised over four million dollars over the years, all in support of various library initiatives, including the archives’ revitalization project.

While working in the Rare Books and Collectibles department, McInnes has had the chance to encounter some literary jewels – including a 1933 edition of Hitler’s Mein Kampf, in perfect condition and accompanied by a signed silk bookmark. In a slightly different category, my own eureka moment came at the discovery of an illustrated Maurice Sendak coffee-table book, complete with pop-up Where the Wild Things Are illustrations. Its price? A mere $15.00, a steal compared to the $75.00 Indigo is charging.

United in their love of books and the belief in a story’s ability to transverse time and space in connecting with readers, Reevely, Girvin, and McInnes are three faces behind the bookshelves that I am happy I got to know. While the verdict on many Trinity traditions is still out, it’s clear that the Book Sale is a tale of success, dedication, and the enduring bonds of a tight-knit community.

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Salterrae • December 2015

An Interview with the Hon. Frank Iacobucci Reflecting on the Larkin-Stuart Lecture Written by Arjun Gandhi Illustration by: Trisha De Souza Photography by: Nadia Battaglin

Provost Mayo Moran described this year’s Larkin-Stuart Lecture, held on Tuesday, November 3, 2015, as “the most significant” in the annual event’s 46 year long history. The event discussed an issue that our nation had waited far too long to deal with: the legacy of Residential Schools. This year, the speaker at the Larkin-Stuart Lecture was the Honourable Frank Iacobucci.

Iacobucci was apparently awed when he saw a list of the Larkin-Stuart Lectures’ past speakers; however, his achievements are no shorter than anyone else’s. Between 1962 and 1985, Iacobucci had received law degrees from the University of British Columbia and Cambridge University, practiced corporate law in New York. He also served as a professor of corporate law at the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Law, as the Dean of the Law School, and as the Vice-President and Provost of

“He believed reconciliation could not be achieved without a thorough acknowledgement of the truth, and this truth could only be achieved by studying records and listening to the testimonies of thousands of people who were held in Residential Schools.”

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the University. Since 1985, Iacobucci has acted as Canada’s Deputy Minister of Justice and Deputy Attorney General, been appointed Chief Justice of the Federal Court and subsequently Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada. He served in this latter capacity until 2004, receiving an honorary degree from Trinity College a year later. One would think that when Iacobucci stepped down from the Supreme Court at the age of 67, he would retire after a long and illustrious career.

However, after his retirement from the Supreme Court, Iacobucci arguably completed his most significant work.

In 2005, he was appointed by the Government of Canada to be the federal negotiator in discussions with Aboriginal communities toward a fair and lasting resolution of the legacy of Residential Schools. Iacobucci’s work in this role has largely

Arjun Gandhi• An Interview with the Hon. Frank Iacobucci see their children for years. When the children and parents were reunited, many families described being unable to connect due to their wildly different experiences and customs. Even worse, hundreds of former students from Residential Schools were physically and sexually abused by staff members, and some were forcibly sterilized. Furthermore, at least 4,000 students died while attending the schools, likely due to extreme abuse. Many of these deceased students were buried in unmarked graves without the notification or consent of their parents.

been considered some of his most successful, many arguing that few could have done the job better. Because of his efforts, the federal government is finally addressing the lasting impact of Residential Schools.

“Affirmative action is not discrimination to rectify past discrimination. It is a conscious effort to not commit the errors of the past.”

from 1876 to 1996 with the goal of assimilating First Nations children into the majority culture.

This program, funded by the Canadian government and administered by various Christian churches, separated approximately 150,000 Aboriginal children from their families and culture.

It aimed to convince them that their way of life was wrong, and that only the traditional European lifestyle would be accepted in Canada.

Something that Iacobucci continuously brought up over the course of the discussion was the feeling of being “moved” by the Aboriginal peoples’ testimonies. He heard from former students who were kept away from the only life that they knew and from parents who did not get to

In May 2006, the federal government, in collaboration with Aboriginal groups, announced that it was working on a Residential Schools Settlement Agreement. Implemented in September 2007, this Agreement recognized the damage inflicted by the schools on its survivors, and established a two billion dollar compensation package.

Though the Hon. Frank Iacobucci approved of the apology, he was unsatisfied with its conclusion.

He stressed that this issue would be incomplete and would continue to haunt Canada unless a Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) into the matter was established. He believed reconciliation could not be achieved without a thorough acknowledgement of the truth, and this truth could only be achieved by studying records and listening to the testimonies of thousands of people who were held in Residential Schools. Iacobucci said during the informal afternoon Fireside Chat in the Combination Room that what the TRC found was “not a happy story but one that must be told.” The Residential Schools operated

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After overseeing the conclusion of both the TRC and the Settlement between the federal government and Aboriginal communities, Justice Iacobucci made it his goal to improve First Nations peoples’ access to justice, the availability and quality of legal services to them, and their treatment in the justice system. First Nations peoples are proportionately overrepresented in prisons and underrepresented in juries. Since 2011, Justice Iacobucci’s work has successfully improved the legislation and processes for including First Nations people living on reserves on the jury roll. Calling out those who oppose his efforts, Justice Iacobucci clarified that “Affirmative action is not discrimination to rectify past discrimination. It is a conscious effort to not commit the errors of the past.” The Hon. Frank Iacobucci concluded his lecture with an emotional and uplifting call to action: he simply wants all Canadians to be more respectful of the Aboriginal peoples, their unique rights, and their governments.

In conclusion, I would like to send a collective Trinity College sized tip of the hat to The Honourable Frank Iacobucci, without whom improvements in the relationship between the federal government and First Nations communities would not exist.

Salterrae • December 2015

Guardians of Trinity An Introduction to Your Extended Family College Written by Christina Collis Winter descends upon Trinity College. Students become pale and zombie-like, the inevitability of EX100 looming over them. In Strachan Hall, a second-year student falls asleep in his cereal.

“GLOBAL GOVERNANCE” he cries, awaking with a start. He glances around wildly, but then his gaze settles on Paula. She presides over the dining hall, strong, vigilant, reassuring. “I’m safe,” he murmurs to himself.

jobs. She says: “We want you to feel comfortable talking to us and asking for help if you need it.”

Despite this, students do not often pause to greet her or chat. She adds that: “We really do care about the students and want you to feel like this is your home away from home.”

us favors. Part of what makes Trin unique is that we don’t just have relationships with other students, but also with everyone who works here. It makes Trin feel like home, and not just a place that I live.” He adds that he hopes the staff feel like part of the community as well.

When asked what she thinks is special about Trin,

Chartwells staff, service workers, maintenance, the porters, and security; they are what keeps the machinery of Trinity College more lubricated than Buster Brown on a Tuesday night in Welch.

But they are so much more than their jobs – they are a community that operates in such proximity to the Trinity student community that our two spheres blend together.

“I like making sure people are happy, I don’t have kids of my own, so I think of you guys as my kids.”

Second-year student Katie Fettes says: “Many of the Chartwells staff have really wild backgrounds.

If you spend any time talking to them you will hear some very interesting stories. It is so great that we are all here together, but everyone is coming from such different places.”

Though there are many students who dine in Strachan, one Chartwells worker says the staff there remember all of our faces. She also says it is frustrating for them when we leave our dishes out on the table instead of putting them away.

“You don’t make your mom clean up after you!”

Well, maybe some of us do. However, she says she loves us as if we were her own kids, and loves seeing us everyday. If you were thinking about leaving Strachan without putting your dishes away, I would advise you to reread the first sentence of this paragraph.

The service workers at Trinity can be seen around in their blue uniforms. They keep our living spaces clean, and are a vital part of what keeps this college functioning. When asked about his experience with the students at Trinity, one service worker said, “I love being around the students.

98% of the time the relationship between staff and students is very friendly, although there are some students who don’t acknowledge our presence.” With regard to the students who aren’t as friendly, he says: “Everybody’s different, and we adjust to people’s different personalities.” However, he hopes that all the students know that the staff want to help us with anything we may need.

Another service worker said that she wants students to realize that they are more than just their

she said she finds our odd traditions very amusing.

“It seems like the students are close and live like a nice family.” She adds that it is great how close the students and staff are - we see each other almost everyday, which you don’t get in a lot of places.

The porters are the gatekeepers of Trinity College. I spoke to one such porter, Lisa, who can be found working the weekend night shifts. “I love my students, they’re what keeps me coming back!” She exclaims. What Lisa enjoys most is taking long walks on Trin’s front lawn and being called ‘Mamma Lisa.’

“I like making sure people are happy, I don’t have kids of my own, so I think of you guys as my kids.”

She says she loves how Trinity students work together as a community: “I always see you guys helping each other out – you’re all responsible for each other.”

Former Head of College Connor Anear has spent four years living on residence in Trinity. He says, “The staff here really care about us. They go out of their way to help, and are always willing to do

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If you are feeling the exam-season blues, just remember how many people love you, and maybe spread a little love in return. Take some extra time for someone else: pause, step outside yourself, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN. I know that I am thankful for these people who make this little place in the middle of a huge and chaotic city feel warm and homey, so that when I come back to my room after classes, I feel like I’m returning to a beautiful little community.

“You don’t make your mom clean up after you!”

What is more, the staff have a rare and important perspective on the Trinity student community.

They have a peephole into our world, and it’s telling that they see a tight-knit community who always help each other out, with strange traditions that nobody else understands. We forget about these things because we are so enmeshed in the nitty-gritty of our own lives, and because there are issues at Trinity that divide us. But we should not let these issues cloud the good stuff: what a special community we have in the heart of Toronto.

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Damian Klambauer • Wake Me Up When November Ends

The Mouldy Klam

How the Grinch Stole Halloween

By Damian Klambauer It is now November, and the year is in full awful swing. 1T9 has begun to realize that maybe things don’t get better. Residents dread the walk through the cold air to Strachan, opting instead to come once a week and stuff their book-bags full of stale muffins. Those who live further from the heat-lamp fried bosom of Strachan yearn for warmed bosoms. They are either looking at a Toronto Hydro bill and accepting that it’s time to turn on the heat, or blinging their landlords’ hotlines demanding that the radiators be switched on. Trying to use the heat of their laptops to stay warm and finally getting around to checking their exam schedules, these students see Friday evening and Saturday exams, and are grimly setting their faces to endure the myriad humiliations of the coming winter, broken only by the humiliation of a two day reading week.

joy of one who has not yet had candy snatched out of their bag on Halloween by a hungover curmudgeonly student. I did my duty to teach them the ways of the world, and as they left, their bags a little lighter and their hearts a little heavier, while I waited inside for the next round of donors.

By 8 PM parents were shuttling children inside, and the more vengeful kids approached my house with cartons full of eggs. But the joke, as always, is on them. I had prepared for this. Brandishing a large kitchen implement, I appeared at the door and frightened them away, and then began the process of using the spatula to scrape tomorrow’s breakfast off the walls. I quickly whisked the flash-

Things are not all doom and gloom. On this recent weekend, I was able to enjoy the last of the freefood events that inaugurate the school year. At 5 PM, while frantic parents searched through stores for the rare non-slutty princess costume, I was at home removing the bricks from the façade of my house and superheating them in the oven. One melted pair of silicone oven mitts later, the bricks were back in place, out front, by 6 PM when the trick-or-treaters began to circulate.

Hearing their expectant youthful babble, I crept to the door, and as I opened it they thrust their bags of candy towards me, with all the enthusiasm and

‘I marvelled at how, despite bearing a few chips of paint that tasted suspiciously like eggshell, the eggs were still better than Strachan food.”

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cooked eggs into Tupperware, and congratulated myself on my frugal acquisitions. I marvelled at how, despite bearing a few chips of paint that tasted suspiciously like eggshell, the eggs were still better than Strachan food.

The food was not the last of the night’s accomplishments, as the superheated bricks had done doubleduty, both instantly frying the ovo-offerings and giving rise to convective currents throughout the house, thus allowing me to avoid paying Toronto Hydro’s exorbitant heating prices for one more evening. I rolled into my warm bed, eggs in the fridge and candy in my belly, thinking maybe, just maybe, this winter will be a good one.

Salterrae • December 2015

ONDIFAQ

“Wake Me Up When November Ends”

By Ondiek Odour

Hey Friends™, I’ve come to deliver some very startling news. By the time you’ve finished typing “Hotline Bling” into your Pinterest, I will have received a 3% penalty on my late assignment.

You did this to me. You and my sweatshop supervisor, Maddy Torrie.

Nice fur coat, Maddy! What are you going to do with the other one hundred Dalmatians?

You are the reason I won’t be accepted into the Model UN’s Model Internship Program®. That means you are also the reason monkey AIDS exists.

Are you happy now, dad? YOU WERE RIGHT. If you didn’t quite understand the message that I was trying to communicate with you, then please feel free to stop reading right now. Clearly you are an administrative robot who doesn’t understand how it feels to be a) hurt b) lost c) left out in dark and d) kicked when you’re down.

If you felt my words, please do the following: move those used tissues off of your unframed mattress, grab the Jamaican beef patty you got from G’s two days ago, and quit trying to live vicariously through your Sims WooHoo-ing.

It’s midterm season and we’re going to be adults, Goddammit.

Dear Ondick, My girlfriend and I have been going through a really difficult few hours lately. We have a term test for ECO100 in about two-and-a-half-weeks and it’s really putting a strain on our relationship. We have been dating for about two-and-a-quarterweeks, and it already seems like there’s not enough time for us to be together. I miss talking. I miss the way she blushed when we listened to John Mayer music on her bed. I miss how we used to be.

Please help me make this flame eternal, OVO Frosh Hi OVO Frosh, I am so sorry to hear about your misfortune. It is completely disgusting how the academic institution disregards the importance of bright young love such as yours. From the moment we fruit bloom out of the sheltered tunnels of the loin, we

are immediately thrown into a system – no, a societal prison – where we’re forced to believe that even butterflies have to land one day. Don’t let them brainwash you, OVO Frosh. Believe in love, for love conquers everything -- except Western imperialism.

That being said, let me guide you towards the enlightenment (of your relationship). I’m going to assume that you two are sexually active since it’s humanly impossible not to make love while John Mayer is playing. That’s dandy, but don’t do that.

You see we are adults, and if we don’t multitask in every aspect of our life, then we’re doomed to make a $35,000CAD income for the rest of our lives.

Instead of playing “Your Body Is a Wonderland” the next time you fornicate, I would suggest that you play an instrumental version of an R&B slow jam (preferably “Back at One” by Brian McKnight). This way you can both whisper vocalruns of term definitions you need to remember into each other’s ears while engaging in the act of pene-tration (penetration and concentration).

You really have no idea how romantic ‘commodity fetishism’ really is until you hear its importance being belted to along to a sensual piano riff.

Use two rubbers,

your problem. What I do recommend; however, is that you use one your roommate’s quilts to cover the cup until she comes back. The love sewn into the fibres of that organic cotton by her recentlydeceased great-aunt is an effective and environmentally-friendly alternative to using industrialized, carcinogenic air-fresheners.

When she does come back, make sure to sit her down and have an authentic life chat. You can ask her how her life is going, how she’s enjoying her classes, and most importantly, what Meredith (her mother) is up to. I understand that this can be difficult since you’re stressed as well, but try your best to pretend that you’re listening. Nod along.

Giggle. Say “yeah,” “that’s a bummer,” and try to squeeze in an “I really admire how you handle yourself ” every once a while.

When she’s finally finished unloading on you, point to her stained quilt with your index finger, and ask if she minds throwing that out. She will profusely apologize, and you will have a clean space.

Always stay true to your heart,

Ondi ...

Dear Kodiak,

Ondi Dear Onika, I understand that midterm season is a really stressful time for everyone. In the last 24 hours, I have watched at least five episodes of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, eaten at least three tubs of red velvet ice cream (thanks for the earlier recommendation), and did my share of ritualistic sobbing in the JCR. I GET IT. However, my roommate, who is dealing with the same issues, has left a half-eaten cup of ramen on her desk for the last two days. It’s the weekend, and the cleaning staff won’t be around until Monday.

What do I do?

My anaconda don’t want none, Salty Sarah Hi Salty Sarah, This is a really unfortunate situation, and I personally cannot think of any clear-cut solutions to

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How do you deal with November? How do you deal with December? How do you deal with university?

I can’t, Evan Hi Evan, You have to understand that university is very much like Middle America. It is where dreams go to die. I deal with it by coming home everyday, finding a comfy spot on my paisley-print sofa, opening up a six-pack of brewskis, lighting up a fresh loose cigarette, and turning on the TV to watch the latest episode of Big Bang Theory. If I have time I will heat up some leftover Salisbury steak.

Always remember that nothing really matters, because we all die in the end. [studio audience laughter],

Ondi

Marissa Martins • The Post-Honeymoon Cure

The Post-Honeymoon Cure Freshen up downtown

By Marissa Martins

So you’ve hit that point in your relationship where the whirlwind excitement of getting to know your partner has ceased. You used to get butterflies in your stomach when you received a text from them.

Every sexual encounter with them was invigorating, exciting, and novel. You didn’t skip any workouts because you wanted to look really, really good naked for them. But time takes its toll. Time plays its role. Something, something, mole.

1. The Meek Mill Get your partner really excited and engaged by dropping some implicit hint that there will be a surprise in store. Completely fail to deliver. Wait, (approximately four days), for your partner to complain. Finally, perform mediocrely in the bedroom even though your partner has prepared some really, really dope shit in anticipation for the show.

After a few months filled with some not-so-sexy but intimate experiences, the relationship can become worn-in and comfortable. They’ve held your hair while you’ve vomited after one too many margaritas at Taco Tuesday. You’ve tried really hard not to listen to their explosive diarrhea at your onebathroom apartment after bad Chinese food. This is inevitable. Disgusting, but inevitable.

2. The Pizza Man Have your partner call you at the end of your workday to request a hot-and-ready. Arrive thirty minutes later than you were anticipated to an annoyed and ravenous partner. Deliver. Still get the tip.

Don’t get me wrong--just because your relationship has changed, which is natural once you’ve gotten comfortable with your partner--does not mean that its quality has deteriorated. Your bond has deepened, but the newness and excitement has slowly faded. Still there just might be a way to get that excitement back, even if only temporarily. So please, stop crying and wipe your tears, because you’re ruining your cashmere sweater. It isn’t that nice anyway. Just because it’s from Banana Republic doesn’t mean that it looks good. But also, stop crying because I have a solution for you. That solution is…. role-play!

This is inevitable.

Disgusting, but inevitable.

Here are some role-playing ideas that you probably haven’t read in Cosmo. Try these out, and I guarantee an exciting (or at the very least, interesting) experience.

3. The Inspirational Pinterester Buy chocolate sauce (or vanilla, if you’re allergic and/or boring). Take turns with your partner writing out motivational quotes on each other’s body, and licking them off after. There’s something really erotic about slurping, “DANCE like nobody is watching” off of your lover’s abdomen.

4. The “Orange is the New Black” This one takes some preparation. Exercise often, for endurance. Learn all you can about your partner’s anatomy. Then be really, really, really good at sex for summer and fall. Be completely boring and awful in the third season.

5. The Unexpectedly Good Lit Speech Seem rather untalented and average. Consume more than a couple of beers and then perform astoundingly on Wednesday night, to the surprise of your partner as well as all of his/her/their overly judgmental and ruthless friends.

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6. The Millennial Plan an exciting and romantic date. Take pictures of literally everything you encounter, especially food, really tall buildings, and trees. Pay your partner very little attention. Later that evening, look at the pictures of all of the things you were supposed to enjoy while spooning

In the grand scheme of things, the gradual blandness that your relationship has acquired is unimportant because Donald Trump might be America’s next president and we’re running out of fresh water. your smartphone. Make sure to suggest to your partner that you two do this again soon. Make an activity out of counting the notifications from Instagram that pop up on your phone from other self-obsessed people.

If none of these helped, you’re probably doomed.

In the grand scheme of things, the gradual blandness that your relationship has acquired is unimportant because Donald Trump might be America’s next president and we’re running out of fresh water.

Salterrae • December 2015

Jeepers Creepers A Tale of Bones, Intrigue, and Old Trin...

By Emma Smith Illustrations by: The Trinity College Archives It’s August 1928 and you’re a workman who has been contracted to help with the demolition of some snooty old college on Queen near the old Toronto Lunatic Asylum. You’re looking hip to the jive in your denim overalls and newsboy cap.

You light a ciggy and holler at the skirts as they pass by—it’s 1928 and you haven’t quite wrapped your head around this newfangled “women’s rights” thing just yet, let alone lung cancer. You let your mind wander as you get to work.

You’re excited that Percy Williams just won an Olympic gold for Canada in the hundred-meter dash; you’re dreaming about that Ford Model A you’re saving up for; and you’re looking forward to seeing your first talkie this weekend. You start thinking about that article you read in the paper this morning - something about “sliced bread”— what a load of hooey! Can’t people slice their own gosh-darned bread? Forget bread; you can knock through walls. It’s what you do for a living, by golly!

Speaking of, you’re doing just that when all of a sudden…

JEEPERS CREEPERS! The sunlight streams past the newly toppled wall.

In the corner of the room, you are horrified to see a complete human skeleton, stretched out on the sloping floor and covered in dust and cobwebs.

Jeepers creepers, indeed.

On August 7th 1928, workmen at Trinity’s former site, what is now known as Trinity Bellwoods Park, made this macabre discovery. As Trinity had relocated to Hoskin Avenue three years prior due to the college’s recent federation with the University of Toronto, everything except for the main wing of the old Trinity College building was set for demolition in order to make room for a new playground.

“The Varsity published on September 28th 1928 speculated that it could have been related to some terrifying hazing ritual.”

The skeleton was found in a boarded-up room in the basement of the old “Jag House.” The only way into this ten-by-twelve-foot room was to tear down the walls. According to an article published in The Globe and Mail on August 8th 1928, the skeleton did not appear to have any fractures, although the arm bones were knocked out of place when the wall was broken down.

The skeleton had to be carried to the morgue in pieces because it split apart when touched. Chief Coroner Dr. J. M. Casserly said the only thing that could be confirmed upon examination of the skeleton was that the remains belonged to an adult male that had been dead for a long time.

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Of course, theories immediately began to swirl about the mystery skeleton. Many thought it was the remains of Ambrose Small, a local theatre magnate who went missing in 1919. The mystery of his disappearance was never solved; the popular theory was that he was murdered by his wife and her new lover. Another theory alleged that the mystery skeleton belonged to a former patient, as the building had been both a sanatorium and a hospital before it became a student residence. An article from The Varsity published on September 28th 1928 speculated that it could have been related to some terrifying hazing ritual. Others argued it could have been a skeleton used as a model for Trinity’s medical students, but since the room was boarded up so thoroughly, that scenario is somewhat suspect.

What is the true story behind this mystery skeleton? Was it really just a relic from the Trinity medical school? Was it a patient from the old sanatorium? Was it Ambrose Small? Was it a Trinity student with a penchant for building walls and hiding behind them? Did he hide himself away a little too well come exam time? Was it all to do with some dastardly, albeit unsuccessful, plan to steal the patent for sliced bread? It seems we’ll never know.

Rhatz!

Special thanks, as always, to the Trinity College Archives for their help.

Michael Johnston • Red October

Red October

Trinity Students React to the 2015 Federal Election Results By: Michael Johnston

Illustration: Claire Shenstone-Harris

Monday, October 19th, 2015. For many, it was just another manic Monday. For some, it was the start of every other university’s fall reading week, but instead you had three #backtoback midterms.

Or perhaps it was the day you started and finished a 3000-word paper.

However, for the many politically active Trinity students, it was an influential day – one worth mourning and c e l e b r a t i n g.

The most recent Canadian Federal Election had students across the country feeling proud as well as disappointed in their fellow electorate.

We will take a look at some profiles of Trinity students and their responses to the results of the election.

The Young Monarchist: On hearing Trudeau’s gender-balanced cabinet selection: “I know that for me, the Queen has always been there… so if the figurehead of our government is a woman, longest reigning in our history I might add, I guess I’m not opposed to it.”

On the promise to repeal parts of C-51: “Will removing secondary citizenship remove the Queen’s status as a first-class monarch?”

it is good to see May recognized as a leader of environmental policy; let’s just hope she doesn’t green-out in Paris. ” On Trudeau’s promise to maintain strong Canada-U.S. relationships: “Why on *earth* is he disappointed in the Obama Administration’s rejection of Keystone XL…”

The EverJaded FourthYear: On going to political youth rallies: “Ugh, that’s so second year.”

“CHRYSTIA WON! CHRYSTIA WON! I mean, like, I’m not surprised; in my honest opinion she was the best candidate in our riding.”

On the news of Stephane Dion’s appointment as Minister of Foreign Affairs: “Remember when he was a separatist advocate?

On CBC, CTV News, and Global News calling a Liberal majority before the national polls even closed: “Bleed Blue? Nahhhh, more like Bleed Red.”

The Liberal-aficionado:

The Eco-Terrorist:

On hearing of a Liberal victory in the newly established University-Rosedale riding:

On hearing of Trudeau inviting Elizabeth May to the UN Climate Summit: “After being excluded from the Munk debate,

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On social media interrupting law school applications: “Finally the Facebook notifications and invites to campus events will stop! Oh no...here come the relentless statuses about the future of Canada and what a time it is tobe alive…”

On political etiquette: “When is it socially acceptable to un-friend my peers? Or is that detrimental to my future political connections?”

The Newly Democratic 1T9: On the University of Toronto: “Are the UofT Liberals just run by Trin students?”

On economics: “Is weed legal yet? It is good for the economy right?”

On politics in pop culture: “Tom Mulcair’s dance to Hotline Bling though…”

Salterrae • December 2015

HOROSCOPES By: Rachel Copp Clark

Aries (March 21 - April 19) This week the planets and I have a pretty simple recommendation for you: don’t make any decisions.

This sounds like strange advice, since you’re probably naturally pretty indecisive, but it’s very important that you defer any big decisions this week. Uranus (stop laughing) is in your 5th house, which is going to mess with your rational side. So if you wake up tomorrow and are like, “Wow I really need a tattoo like, right now.” You’re wrong. If permanently inking Fall Out Boy lyrics onto your ribcage still sounds like a good idea in around two weeks, run free. But for now I’m going to tell you that it’s a bad idea. Literally don’t do anything. It shouldn’t be difficult.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Moving is very stressful. Not that I’m saying that’s what you’re doing or even planning to do (unless your roommate is about to kick you out).

But it is stressful, you have to agree. Also, all the things you’re unsure of now will almost certainly be things that you are still unsure of by the end of the day. The number “8” may be given added significance today and will randomly pop up in everyday conversations. 8.

Famous Gemini: Rhiannon Langford

Famous Aries: Aditya Rau

Taurus

Cancer

(April 20 - May 20)

(June 21 - July 22)

You may feel sporty today and decide to start working out everyday. However, don’t spend money on new sports gear and equipment as you are likely to lose interest in this new found “passion” within the next five to ten days. The planets also told me to tell you that an ex from your past will suddenly pop up at some point tomorrow. So I recommend that you wait by a lake, or other open body of water, all day, just in case they actually do.

You’re not jinxed so staying in bed all day is not going to improve your life at all. Stop complaining about POL340 International Law or whatever annoying course you’re taking to satisfy your IR major and just go and get shit done. There are a limited number of unpaid internships available so hurry up. The UN is waiting.

Famous Taurus: me lol

Famous Cancer (survivors): Izzie from Grey’s Anatomy

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The accuracy of your horoscope will be directly related to the number of things you do today.

A bungee jumping accident may befall you if you go bungee jumping.

Rachel Copp Clark • Horoscopes

Libra

Capricorn

Leo

(September 23 - October 22) The holidays are always full of family craziness, and this year is going to be no exception, Libra. In fact, this year your family drama may start to reach Kardashian levels of nuts, and you’re probably going to be caught in the middle of it. The stars say that Libras are good communicators (although you could’ve fooled me) which means you’ll be stuck playing peace keeper. Feel free to take a break to chug a bottle of wine when the amount of passive aggression reaches Trin-level heights because you’re not a saint and holidays are supposed to be fun goddammit.

Famous Libras: Michael Thomas Lobby Johnston

Scorpio

(December 22 - January 19) The accuracy of your horoscope will be directly related to the number of things you do today. A bungee jumping accident may befall you if you go bungee jumping. Alternatively, it may not. I don’t lie to you to make you read this column each new issue of the Salterrae. OK, that’s a lie, I think you’re magnificently beautiful.

Famous Capricorn: Jesus

(July 23 - August 22) Leo, you are officially the winner of the zodiac lottery this month. This is your season, and unlike flowers and trees everywhere, you are blooming.

Just like fellow Leo Kylie Jenner, suddenly you’re the hottest thing since the discovery of lava, and you’re going to feel just about as good as she did when her relationship with Tyga finally became legal. So sit back and let the good times roll. Times like this don’t come around often, so you better cherish it.

Famous Leo: Hayden Rodenkirchen, Ben Atkins

Aquarius

Virgo

(October 23 - November 21) Hey Scorpio. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you were personally offended by your horoscope from the last issue. I would apologize but I don’t control the planets and also it’s not my fault that you think everything is about you.

Famous Scorpio: Connor Anear

(January 20 - February 18) You will be plagued by happy people, but don’t be swayed by them. Stay miserable. Gloomy times lay ahead. Duty calls, and your duty is to make people aware that it doesn’t get better and that they probably peaked in high school.

Famous Aquarius: still Jesus if you have a really extended celebration of Christmas

Sagitarious

(August 23 - September 22) It’s time to chill, Virgo. You’ve been going nonstop for some time now, and I’m giving you explicit permission to just stop. Stop working.

Stop bringing up motions at the TCM. For the love of Strachan brunch, stop posting your feelings in the 1T9 Facebook group. This weekend, take a step out of the Trin bubble and reacquaint yourself with your bed and the TV shows you’ve been missing while you were busy stressing out for the past month. You’ll thank me for it later.

Famous Virgo: Nick, the best Jonas brother

Pices

(November 22 - December 21) It’s your birthday month, Sagittarius, AKA the month long period where you get to wear a tiara when you go out and demand everyone treat you like the princess you are. The 16th moon of Venus is entering your Sun House this week, so I predict that you will have good luck. And if things are looking grim, sit yourself down on the nearest swivelling chair and spin. If that doesn’t make you smile, then I’m all out of ideas.

(February 19 - March 20) Many of the solutions given to you in life make you feel like there’s no hope. This is true.

Famous Pisces: mama B, Braden Kenny

Famous Sagittarius: Julien Ferland

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Salterrae • December 2015

Goings On About Town By: Simone Garcia

MUSIC and THEATER What: A Galaxy Far, Far Away – Self-labelled as “an unscripted comedy full of original characters affectionately set in the Star Wars Universe,” A Galaxy Far, Far Away imagines a new group of unlikely Rebel Alliance leaders, bizarre alien species, and evil Empire minions. If you’ve ever wondered who was keeping the dark side at bay while Luke and Leia were sharing that one weird kiss, this is the show for you. Plus, it’s a great way to warm up for the movie, which hits theatres December 17th Where: Bad Dog Comedy Theatre, 875 Bloor St. West (upstairs) When: November 27th – December 18th Cost: $10.00 for students What: Odesza – Deep house and electro fans, this is one concert you won’t want to miss. The perfect choice for a chill night out, Odesza’s In Return is best experienced live.

Where: Sound Academy, 11 Polson St. When: November 19th Cost: $25.00 What: Grimes – A fellow Canadian, Grimes brings her signature sultriness and atypical combination of vocal elements to the stage for her fourth studio album, Art Angels.

Where: The Danforth Music Hall, 147 Danforth Ave. When: November 22nd Cost: $32.75 - $40.50 What: The Nutcracker – A Christmas classic.

Spend an evening feeling fancy while getting your monthly dose of culture. As soothing to hear as it is beautiful to watch, The Nutcracker is an enduring reminder of the season’s magic.

Where: The National Ballet of Canada, When: December 12th - January 3rd Cost: Starting at $37.00; students may also sign up for DanceBreak, a program designed to give 16-29 year olds discounted tickets.

FOOD and CULTURE What: Toronto Christmas Market – The annual holiday street market takes over the Distillery District once again, with local vendors, family friendly entertainment, shopping, and food inspired by European style Christmas Markets.

ECO105 final (i.e. should be easy, but is actually ridiculously difficult and leaves you feeling as intelligent as a mollusk). Don’t despair because if you book now, you’ll likely be eating just before the holidays. What a time to be alive!

Where: Ricoh Coliseum, 45 Manitoba Dr. When: November 6-15th.

Cost: $20-25.

What: Ghosts of Ancient Mountains - Inspired by the physical landscape of a remote, inacces

Where: The Distillery District

sible, and treacherous island on Georgian Bay, Taylor’s collection of photographs are evocative and moving. Their blend of artistic manipulation through colour, texture, and light play lends the ancient stones an abstract and dreamlike air, inviting a viewer to form one’s own interpretation of this amazing collection.

When: November 20th – December 20th

Where: Coldstream Fine Art

Cost: Free on weekdays, $5 on weekends

When: Until December 1st

What: The One of a Kind Christmas Show – Want to wow that someone special this holiday season? Too cool for generic trinkets or – gasp!

– gift cards? We know, the horror, the horror.

Luckily, finding a unique creation is easier than ever at the One of a Kind Christmas Show, which houses over 500 artisans and locally-produced goods. And, with a DIY stage and plenty of giveaways, you might just find something for yourself along the way.

Cost: Free!

Throughout the Market there is a stage with musical performers, carolers, a Ferris Wheel, beer gardens and of course, Santa and his reindeer.

When: November 26th – December 6th

What: Andy Warhol: Stars of the Silver Screen – Souptember may be over, but there’s still time to appreciate a nice can of Campbell’s. The Andy Warhol Museum has organized “Stars of the Silver Screen” to celebrate visionary artist and filmmaker Andy Warhol and catalogue Warhol’s celebrity obsession – and his penchant for popular culture. Archival materials at the exhibit include Warhol’s childhood scrapbook, his early drawings, celebrity Polaroids, and film & video works. You can also snap a photo of yourself using a “Screen Test Machine,” a special camera Warhol used to capture his films.

Cost: Free!

Where: TIFF Bell Lightbox, 250 King St. West.

What: Frings – Drake + Susur Lee? Sign us up!

With all the hype surrounding this celebrity duo, this restaurant’s hotline is surely blingin’, which means getting a walk-in table is as easy as your

When: Until January 24th

Where: Enercare Centre, Exhibition Place, 100 Princes’ Blvd.

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Cost: $13.00