Doomsday Rider - issue three by Sam Bear

DOOMSDAY RIDER

All work and no sleep makes the editor a dull boy. K.C.

Editorial note: All of the backround pictures behind titles are owned by Oleg Stelmah . We do not hold any rights on his work. However, if you do agree with us, that he has amazing pictures, take a look at his work at www.elektraua.livejournal.com and show him some love. 2

Those, who are responsible for the glow of success, sometimes stay in the shadows and remain anonymous.

Engineering Werewolves Have you ever heard about committees being compared to wild animals? Dana Klimova introduces the wild, wild ITRE.

Dasha dancing, Riaan rocking, Engineers evaluating. Passing the esplosive ball, ITRE has it simply all. Sexy Paulina the lady, Athletic filmmaker and cutie Tommy. SarpÂ´s butt spelling uniforms, Standing, 69 performs. The brilliant Iaroslava, smart and lovely as Oksana, Jannis, German gentleman, get all girls is his plan. Vadim thinks outside the box, Ilya, funny fella, rocks! ITRE hugs and dance and kiss, There is no fun they would miss!

he full moon on the evening of the limo ride made a huge impact on the Intelligent Team of Radioactive Engineers. They changed into werewolves and literally got wild. What happened in the limo and what should have stayed there? Definitely the 'Never Have I Ever', 'I Am Sexy And I Know It' dance on the floor or the 'Pass the glass & shoe'. Even though their look changed back to regular in the morning, their soul stayed the same. Travelling from table to table, suffering from (foqusing) they reached decision to save a man cleaning a skyscraper window and an employee taking care of the ball. Meanwhile in other part of the ITRE world many Ninjas got killed. It all ended by building a liquor plant instead of a nuclear one in order to save the world from the Apocalypse, since it is simply cheaper and citizens will appreciate vodka more. No more Chernobyl, letÂ´s get the real threat spread to the world! Everything of course supervised and censored by the RiDa Company.

Moneybags On behalf of the media team Iana Yukhimenko proudly introduces you with the enchanting committee of Economic and Monetary Affairs, chaired by fabulous Richard Janousek.

a) b) c) d) e) f) g) h) i)

Noting with respect ECON to be a completely distinctive committee; Meeting all the deadlines due to nervous German committee members; Recognising the fact that the Limo-party was a present for Felix’s birthday; Repeatedly expressing the strong concern about the indefinite situation with the recycling of nuclear waste, by showing a Chernobyl elephant with really differently sized ears during Bibidi-Bob; Appreciating the chairpersons to share 'Alenka' chocolate and M&M’s or other for achieving your goals during committee work; Fully believing that holding 'a sexy and I know it' party (including balloons) during the cof fee brake is a perfect way to energise during committee work; Realising that during 'Magic stick' a ghost member of the committee called Dasha was spontaneously found; Recognizing the fact that Sasha got a huge slap on her ass while playing the 'Dig dag gus' and it looked fun; Bearing in mind 'that’s what I heard' quotations such as these:

- Public separate compartment bins. - A bin will never pay you back! - Write it – 'S' – s s s s s s s - So much ass sounds from the committee. - Richard: Now you need to kiss the ear... -Felix: Wait, my own ear? - I think it’s about the committee going to the wood! 5

AFEETT The whitest person alive, Marianne Munz, presents the committee on Foreign affairs in a rap song.

The committee on Foreign Affair Have many opinions they’d like to share Here in Kyiv Regional Session Think green – and we’ll teach you a lesson! AFET AFET AFET de er villt fete mann De ruler hele gata, med masse blod pä tann! Bruno han er sjefen, sexy portugise I den sexyeste komiteen Kyiv har ä vise Her er rappen om AFET, det’ekke mer ä si Jeg er sä sykt stoka mann, dette gär pä gli! I don’t know if you know it – but Ukrainian girls are hot Alina, Anna, Olena, Marta boys are just like whaat! We also have some Germans – I hear they’re pretty awesome Pia and Louisa – and along came also Irina from Moldova

As you might understand our two boys are quite lucky Our Polska Pjotr is definitely not ducky And Eugenie is the strongest, he carries the whole team Together they’re producing the brightest Sonic Beam

Their topic isn’t easy, they discuss it with a temper Nuclear power and Ukraine, independent of the gender I’m not as smart as you guys, so I won’t comment more on it Cause I would trust Chuck Norris, so let’s just have a sit

AFET AFET AFET de er villt fete mann De ruler hele gata, med masse blod pä tann! Bruno han er sjefen, sexy portugise I den sexyeste komiteen Kyiv har ä vise Her er rappen om AFET, det’ekke mer ä si Jeg er sä sykt stoka mann, dette gär pä gli!

You guys are all crazy – I heard about the limo Please continue in EYP – we need you, ooh If you ask why? I’ll say f*** you, that’s why!

Cause, teambuilding comes first This is where barrier burst Pia, Pjotr and Sjenja stripped for everyone Marta was afraid to fall, but then she did and had some fun! 6

ENVI I wall of memories Michal Rejman has the honor of introducing the superb ENVI I to the World. Dasha 'It’s so cold in here!' Savischava

ith maybe not the most exciting name, Water museum gave the committee whole loads of fun and chill. From all of the committee activities prepared by organizers this particular one was revived by HO, Zhenia Melekhovets as, quotation: 'The best activity, Misiek, Misiek ,Misiek you’re so lucky you’ll be there!' And I was, so were the members of ENVI I. Education by fun, fun by education. Playing in the mud with buckets and little plastic shovels. (Deniz: 'I’m making a river, I’m making a river!') And there’s also a cherry at the top: beautiful, sunny panorama of Kiev from old fire brigade tower on the hill in the heart of Kiyv. In-your-faces! There is an old native Americans saying: 'If you sleep too well, you’re gonna do

Ugis 'I am jumping a lot' Balmaks

butt-spell'. Okechukwu, who overslept to the transfer to the CW was punished by buttspelling his name while standing on the table. Ugis quickly recognized huge potential of this device and invited ENVI I committee to play the Big Fat Pony on the table. That’s how the BFP was taken to whole new level and 10.000 hryvnias wooden table in room 106 was nearly destroyed. Beautiful girls in cocktail dresses. Handsome guys in expensive suits. Shamapgne in tall, crystal glasses. Finest Cuban cigars. Night trip in a long, shiny white limousine. Polite, trustworthy driver able to fulfill every, even the most exotic wish. Stylish interior, with seats from best quality leather. Calm music flowing discretely from the speakers. And beautiful Kyiv outside... That’s how

ENVI1 spent one of the evenings during Think Green Session. ENVI I is not for chickens. It’s highly risky business – this committee can actually have deadly consequences. For those who yet don’t know: people from room 106 at KNEU for three days had discussed issue of the highest matter: water. Simple construction of three particles with crucial influence on life of every last one of you. Why then it’s so dangerous? There is an possibility that after all those discussions they will be so fed up with water that they’ll actually stop using it. And then what? At first, social life is suffering. But eventually lack of H2O causes painful and irreversible death. Let’s hope that they’re strong enough to resist the hydrophobia. But as I see it: they’ll make it.

The developers Tua Malmberg offers you the look into the committee she described 'cute as kittens and puppies'.

uring this session the delegates of DEVE made the world a better place. Guided by Oksana Korchak, chair extraordinaire, the delegates got to know each other during one and a half, very amusing, days of teambuilding and bonded over their committee work discussions

and

fantastic

tree-planting.

Being a first time official I could not have asked for a better committee. The delegates welcomed me, their confused Swedish journo, with open arms. They supported me when I was having mental breakdown after mental breakdown (hopefully without

knowing it, I hope I hid them well) and they let me take as many pictures of them as I wanted, without complaining. I

want to give my thanks to the best committee ever by dedicating a special place in the paper to each and every one of its members. This is how you save the world:

matic and great at making cute Aleksei Varavin – saves the world by always smil- faces. ing and by singing beautifully.

Lera Mashiro – saves the world by being intelligent and extrovert.

Flavius Balauca – saves the world by having a great sense of humor and a very deep voice. Lara-Alexa Nagel – saves the world by having really cool hair and a friendliness about her.

Miroslav Shapovalov – saves the world by having the most epic laughter ever. Oksana Korchak – saves the world by being ever so nice and ever so supporting. Olga Havrulyk – saves the world by being charismatic and a lot of fun.

Andreas Bueb – saves the world by being a great listener as well as a great speaker. Olga Bubenova – saves the world by wanting to explore the world. Angelina Tarashevska – saves the world by being diplo-

The environmentalists In line with this sessions main theme, Valentina Marin gives you the fashionably green ENVI II.

et me tell you the story of ENVI II, the committee that randomly starts creating songs by playing not musical instruments (at which they are talented as well) but actually forks, knives and everything else that they can find on the table. It started out just as a

joke, but ENVI II delis are becoming more and more excited about a very promising album coming out possibly soon after the session. You might have heard only a demo yesterday at lunch; they are taking their time for the grand debut.

One other thing that this awesome committee is bringing to the table is Godlike ninja skills, Maria being the last round’s winner. All of the delegates have made their contribution and are unique in their own way. Maybe this will give you just a hint about how awesome they all really are:

› Christoph mentioned being into 9gag and had a laugh with the rest about meme faces in real life; › Dinh said ‘Challenge accept-

thought about bringing more color to the committee by designing the new image of ENVI II; › Corina made media team

› Maxym is quite an avid musician. He plays three instruments and is really into instrumental music. Hans Zimmer, Yann Tiersen, YIruma and Se-

ed!’ to the speed dating activity that DEVE’s lovely journo proposed; › Hoping that it would bring a smile on ENVI I delis’ faces (yes, the sad face drawn on their door is still noticeable) › Maria decided to draw a smiley face on ours. She also

proud when surprised by the camera excitingly reading the newspaper; › Olha showed her strong character during CW › Yaraslav laid low and become the proud winner of the Silent Game. It’s not a Nobel Prize, but it’s something!

cret Garden are only a few of his favorite artists. › Arne could be seen as the genius in the shadows, always saying the right thing at the right time. › Olesia was also fascinated by the ‘dancing’ squirrel that they saw at the zoo.

The true Writing about Gods in anciet history is one thing. Valentina Marin & Michal Rejman had to interview our very own demi-goddesses. We cannot ignore the fact that you are constantly avoiding media. Any comments? Z: We hate journalism; we hate you, abusive paparazzi. We actually didn't want you to come, but we were forced to. T: That's true. We have so much dirty stuff going on around here and we really didn't want anybody to find out about it. We are doing so much inappropriate things during the session.

How long have you been preparing that? (both) Woow.. Really.. ? Wooow. We hadn't noticed that.. It took us like two hours. We had three rehearsals. We decided to sing together, we chose the song.. But we agreed that just standing and sitting is boring, so we decided to invite Vitalij to entertain us during performance.

Yeah, suure... Anyway, which was the biggest challenge you had to face as Head-Orga during this session? Z: I would say that it was hiding expenditures like renting limos from the sponsors. (laughs) T: It was definitely the Euroconcert. The facility had to be rented weeks in advance but we managed to do everything in just two hours prior to the concert. During this time we also had to do our usual jobs as Head-Orgas: taking care of everyone, our session's babies.

of silence we actually thought: 'Yeah. Why not?' We checked if it's possible.. And you know the rest. Actually it's how it works: we get some stupid idea and use it. By this particular one you raised the bar quite high. Should delegates expect other surprise? T: Well.. Nearly nothing can compare to limos. We unfortunately won't be able to rent a space shuttle. But maybe that's good, we still need to save something for the next session.

Can you give us one random reason that made you smile during these past few days? T: Actually, I'll go for the one when we had to do the video for Riaan. It was 4 a.m. and at first we were really tired and simply filming the scenes that Riaan asked After the concert you rented us us to. At some point, though, we the limos. Crazy. How did that just started filming random crazy amazing thing became reality? stuff. We were having so much Z: Few weeks ago during pan- fun that we just kept going on ic attack I called Tania and was for at least one more hour. freaking out about not having Z: Hmm.. I would say the orga Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re glad that you brought any venue after Euroconcert. meeting that we had yesterday up the topic. Are you aware of At some moment Tania tried to morning at 6 a.m. Everyone must the fact that you were the only shut me up and said sarcastically: have woken up with this though: one to get standing ovation 'What can I do? Rent a limo?!' 'Orga needs me!' We woke up during the evening? T: And after a few seconds and just started organizing. We 10

VIP’s The media team got a hold of our always busy head organizers: Zhenia and Tania! Finally they agreed to answer some of our questions. didn't even get out of the bed up terms, places, times, venues. actually! T: Yeah, I'm something like an interpreter here! It seems like your 'organizing organism' really works pretty We do know that you have inwell. What makes EYP Ukraine vested a lot of time and energy so special? into this session. At the end of Z: We have really different kinds the day... Is it all worth it? of people here. And we man- Z: Yes, most definitely! It was aged to find golden balance be- probably during the arrival day tween academic approach and that I just thought to myself 'This having fun. T: We are really something more like a family, not organization. We opens to each other, we share. We know we can trust each other. So if the EYP is family-like that makes you the parents of the session. Who’s the mommy and who’s the daddy? (together laughing) Who's Your Daddy?! T: Well, probably, probably I'm the dad. I usually do this boring work: Schedules, transports, preparing venues.. And Zhenia is more like an inspirational one. We divided tasks. Z: But there wasn't a single quarrel between us, as among whole organizers team. Also, Tania helps other people to understand what I'm talking about. I constantly mix

is actually happening!' I had this sort of feeling first time some weeks ago in the storage room when I found myself surrounded by materials for the session. That's when it hit me: 'Wow, we are actually doing what we've been planning and struggling to do for the past few months!' What’s next? T: It'll be session in Odessa RS 11

-something completely different. Another place, people and venues. But we already know: challenge with the limos is accepted and don't be surprised if after Euroconcert you'll end up on yacht. Z: Indeed, it's going to be a really good session, especially considering the fact that the head organizers will have had more experience than us both have. Maybe they will be able to handle the things that could have gone better during this session in a different way than ours.

POST SCRIPTUM: After the interview we found out that in order to give this interview Zhenia decided not to show up on a very life-important meeting at the Polish embassy. She basically put session over her personal life. This is just an example of how much effort did those girls put into event sometimes sacrificing something valuable. Zhenia, Tania - I think I’m speaking in the name of every participant of Kiyv RS - Without you we wouldn’t be here. You did an amazing job. And for that: thank you.

JURY superheroes Maria Shcherbak draws your attention to the fact that super committees need super articles.

hanks to Kyiv RS some of the participants have discovered superhuman abilities in themselves. And I am happy to announce that our amazing team of superheroes has en-

DANIELO (Daniel Singer) Character: cunning spy Superpower: Can turn back time. Ammunition: just a cool costume. Activities: revenges criminals while helping them to make crimes.

riched with guys fighting for implementation of legislature. Please welcome an invincible committee on Legal Affairs!

sensei Niks Berzins, thanks to whom the committee works as one and always follows all deadlines. No doubt, that thanks to JURYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s resolution This powerful five is the Principle 10 of Rio+20 will headed by an experienced be successfully implemented.

MARINJA (Maria Doring) Character: mad assassin. Superpower: moves at the speed of light. Weapons: hands, sharp like razors. Activity: punishes those who do not follow the legislation.

PAVLIUS PRIME (Pavlo Fedoriv) Character: like a sir. Superpower: exactly knows people's needs. Weapons: intelligence, sense of humor. Activity: keeps the planet green.

YULIA (Yulia Kauk) Character: charming genius. Superpower: unlimited knowledge and energy charge Weapons: logical thinking and charm. Activity: solves all the problems.

LAZAR (Christian Lazar) Character: ambitious leader. Superpower: never gives up, keeps his word. Ammunition: strong will, under the stone muscles. Activity: fights against lies.

The TRANtastics Have you ever thought that future looks bright for humanity? Artem Gumeniuk surely thinks so.

uring the last 3 days, the committee on Transportation has been discussing the current issue of environmentally unsustainable planning. It is the cause for land fragmentation. After implementation of their resolution we can take a look at the places of their work.

Although Ivanka and David will have had different diplomas, their contribution to the society and environment is going to be enormous. After obtaining her teachers degree, Ivanka is going to share her love and knowledge with school kids. But David is going to deal with tasks which tain a position at one the most are directly related to comIn a few years the re- reliable insurance compa- mittee resolution. He is a civil adjusted and redesigned plan- nies in the world. Apart from engineer, the one who is rening would make the way to her job as a risk manager at sponsible for infrastructure their work smooth and ecof- Aliance Insurance Company, planning. That is a tough job, riendly. Kolya shall be work- Marika aims to get internship because you constantly have ing in a company, analyzing at the main office in Munich. to keep in mind the idea of the economic issues. Two environment friendly plan. The future is theirs! members of the committee have a keen interest in sports. This generation is going While Kai will be commentto feel the difference made by ing basketball tournaments their work in just a few years. and hockey games, Temo shall They definitely took over fragVeronika and Marina mentation issue even in circumbe managing one of the top football clubs, combining his are going to bridge culture di- stances of difficult economic passion for law and sports. vides. After her German phi- climate. The future is theirs. lology studies, Veronika wishes Marika got lucky to ob- to enrich Ukrainian culture with translation of German literature works. Marina is going to pursue her career of fine art painter, hence sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been drawing since she was 3. Her passion for arts brings her inexpressible joy and that matters the most.

The solar party Having fun is cool and all. Writing about it? Dana Klimova & Artem Gumeniuk try to describe the undescribable farewell party. Nosa, nosa, assim voce me mata. Ai se eu te pego, Ai, ai se eu te pego...“. With this song and the Disco Pogo on, we rocked the Universe!

he journey started with turning our heads all 360 degrees around. We had a chance to relax and space out with the spherical movie which got us into the right mood for the party.

which literally brings the spice. After the first rounds of dancing the show was about to burst out to its fullest. Ear to ear, head to head, back to back and finally People to people! After getting closer to each other the party got hot and sexy. The reason for that was another game, which was the high time for girls. From the two teams competing for the longest clothes row, Dr. Flowers chose the winner.

right? Unfortunately, Pia wasn´t the only one for the Turkish delight. At some point we actually stopped counting the number of girls he danced with. Apart from that, those not being eager to dance had a chance to enjoy themselves playing various space games or wandering around the exceptional venue. We must admit that the music was just perfect to party hard awaiting the Apocalypse.

As we know Germans are precise in anything they do and this event wasn't an exception. Their space radioactive costumes were outstanding and the boys could be easily mistaken for aliens. The girls Having the resolutions The tension between weren´t left behind and their shiny metallic dresses didn´t delegates of opposite sex defended, partied hard and leave a boy without attention. were getting stronger. Pia just having the session behind, now couldn´t resist watching Sarp's we can even face the Doomsday! There wouldn't be a 6-pack. What a pity he put his party without getting touchy, T-shirt back on after the game, The Top 3 Best Ways to avoid getting kissed because of the red sticker

1. Run!

2. Walking with your back 3. Convine the other, that he against a wall all day. or she is colorblind. 14

Date Maria Shcherbak & Tua Malmberg think it is never too late to get to know each other. We give you the basic info, now you do the mingle. Daniel, JURY Likes: girls, expressing his opinion, video games, city tour in a limo Andreas, DEVE Likes: Shopping, clubbing, skiing and the laugh of Miroslav

Marika, TRAN Likes: Participating in student festivals, swimming and karaoke

Likes:

Felix, ECON Sports, partying sleeping

and

Olena, AFET Likes: Espanol, dancing, football, meeting with friends 16

a delegate Likes:

Olga, DEVE Chocolate, Shakespeare and hip-hop

Temo, TRAN Likes: Dancing, singing and football

Pia, AFET Likes: Normal stuff, surfing and camp fires

Yaroslav, ENVI 2 Likes: Having fun, things he is interested in and football Olga, DEVE Likes: reading romantic novels, playing harmonica, travel all over Ukraine

PED Have you ever felt so bad that the urge for something is only comparable to drugs? Marianne Munz & Iana Yukhimenko sure have.

ear delegates,

vices we are very willing to share with you, so that you won’t suffer too much.

First of all, take your resThe General Assembly olution booklet; open the Fais over and you are probably cebook page and add as many on your way home. Finally, you friends as you can. However, will be able to sleep the whole add only people you rememnight through, maybe even you ber; in that case you avoid poswill get a few days of rest be- sible awkward situations. Even fore getting back to the real life. so, do not reject any friend reNow, it is totally normal if you quests from the session – even have a strange and uncomfort- if you might not remember the able feeling in your chest, as if person, the person remembers you are missing something cru- you, and wants to keep in touch. cial. It doesn’t matter if this was your first or fourth session, you Second of all, 'like' the did, in any case, experience session page on Facebook it. Generally, we have a spe- 'Kyiv Regional Session 2012'. cial definition for this feeling. It is normal to have a

allow yourself a couple of days inside, preferably in your bed with lots of chocolate and tissues. We recommend watching episodes of 'How I met your mother', because than you will eventually discover that the joy in life is not dead even if the session is over.

We strongly advise every victim of PED to conPost EYP Depression. strange feeling in your tact your national committee PED can be commonly dechest of EYP, and to browse upcomscribed as a strong and irreing EYP sessions online. Find sistible will to play strange and That way, you will be updated something that you think will sometimes silly games; talking on all pictures and movies upwork good for you, and apcasually to completely unfamil- loaded by the awesome press ply as either a delegate or an iar people; getting the tempt- team from the session. You official. There are over a huning desire for partying and the might also upload your own dred EYP events every year, inexplicable struggle to speak pictures, so you can keep in and everyone will find someup during every discussion. contact with your new friends thing that suits them good. Eithrough common memories. ther you can go alone, or you Don’t be afraid – PED can plan the trip with friends; is a common EYP syndrome. Third of all, if the PED is EYP will always welcome you. There are several ad- extremely hard to cope with, 18

The team With about as much ado as possible, I would like to finish the last paper with a picture. A picture of those who took All the pictures. I present to you, the Kiev RSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;12 media team:

Iana Yukhimenko (Ukraine), Tua Malmberg (Sweden), Valentina Marin (Romania), Anna Safronava (Belarus), Marianne Munz (Norway), Dana Klimova (Czech Republic), Maria Shcherbak (Ukraine); Michal Rejman (Poland), Karlis Caune (Latvia), Artem Gumeniuk (Ukraine). 19