Anne Malinoski
How to
Cope with Crying
Persistent infant crying is often distressing for new parents. If your baby is going through a period of intense daily crying, know that many have walked this path before you. With a little knowledge and a lot of empathy, you can develop the skills to help your family move through this challenging time. We checked in with local early childhood development and mental health expert Jil Rudolf-Vazquez, who holds an M.S. in child development. She advises parents not to take it personally when babies cry. “In the first couple of months we are still trying to understand all our babies’ cues and once we have figured them out, they often change,” she says. “Always know that your child is trying to communicate something and that it is totally fine if you do not know right away what it is.” Parents of persistent criers often notice more intense crying in the late afternoon. When this happens, babies who seemed fine during the day might experience long bouts of tears, even though all their needs appear to be met. These evening episodes 28 • SanDiegofamily.com • Baby Guide 2021
are sometimes called “the witching hours.” Providers prefer to describe the experience as “The Period of Purple Crying” (see sidebar).
Why is the Baby Crying? Rudolf-Vazquez theorizes that babies might be picking up on caregivers’ emotions in those early evening hours. “If we as adults think about the day, most of us will agree that the hour before bedtime is often stressful,” she says. “People are coming home from work, preparing meals, possibly anticipating bedtime struggles and experiencing general tiredness. So, why would that be different for a baby?” It’s not always possible to know why a baby is crying, but we can certainly look for clues. According to Rudolf-Vazquez, some common reasons for infant crying include: • Development: Babies’ bodies are growing and changing rapidly. They are constantly learning new skills. It’s not easy! During a growth spurt, infants might be fussier and more difficult to soothe.
• Overstimulation: Too much movement or noise can be distressing for little ones. • Tiredness: Babies often cry when they become overtired. • Temperament: One in five babies is highly sensitive. These babies are easily bothered by minimal changes in their environment like sounds, temperatures or textures. They tend to pick up on their parents’ mood and stress more than other children. • Stress: Babies need their parents to help them down-regulate, since they are incapable of calming themselves from a state of heightened stress.
Things to Rule Out While crying is normal and expected, it is important to rule out medical issues. “I can’t emphasize enough: If your instinct tells you something is not OK with your baby, listen to yourself and seek help,” says Rudolf-Vazquez.
