Parenting with Purpose Jody Lee Cates
Use the Enneagram to
Discover Your Parenting Personality
Every time my son Taylor had a big
project due, I knew we were in for another tug of war. While I waved Postit notes and enthusiastically explained how to break the project down into bite-sized chunks, his blank stare told me my “can-do” attitude was not part of his process. Instead, he would quietly close himself in his room for days while I worried he was doing nothing toward meeting the deadline. My offers to help and questions about his progress were met with monosyllables that did little to calm my fear that he didn’t care enough to apply himself. Or worse yet, that I had failed to teach him the fundamentals of responsibility, diligence and hard work. Then he’d pull it off. Not just completing the bare bones of the assignment, but often earning a teacher’s comment of “Great work!” alongside an
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A or B grade. Taylor would beam with pride while I scratched my head and wondered, “How is this possible?”
It was a parenting mystery that the Enneagram helped solve. The Enneagram is an assessment tool that identifies nine distinct personality types based on internal motivation and how we relate to others. Naturally, when internal motivations differ, the ways we behave, communicate, and tackle life (and big projects) differ as well. Knowing your Enneagram personality type makes parenting less puzzling by providing insight into why you do the things you do. It can make you a better parent and help you
nurture and grow your child’s unique personality. How does knowing your personality type help with parenting? Enneagram personality type is a lens through which parents see kids – it colors experiences and what they believe to be true about their children. Each type has preferences that bias parents toward certain behaviors, habits and ways of seeing and responding to the world. Recognizing these preferences gives parents the power to respond (rather than react) to behaviors and choices different from their own and helps explain how sometimes there’s a disconnect in communication. Parenting by the numbers. Putting this powerful tool to work starts with discovering your own Enneagram type
