Sally Kuzemchak
Help! My Toddler Won’t Eat Dinner (but wants a snack) There’s a lot to love about toddlers: snuggles, endearing moments, chubby cheeks, adorable sayings and hilariously mispronounced words. But toddlers also bring a unique set of challenges “to the table” and mealtimes are no exception. One of the most common: Often toddlers have no interest in dinner, but are more than willing to eat snacks. Here’s what to say and do in the moment and how to survive this season of life. Why Toddlers Refuse Dinner Dinnertime seems to be what parents struggle with most when it comes to feeding toddlers. There are legitimate reasons dinner is rarely a toddler’s time to shine: • They’re tired. Days are long for toddlers, particularly if they no longer nap. • They’ve kept it together all day, especially if they attend preschool or daycare. Toddlers are ready to let it all hang out in the place (and with the people) they feel safest around. • They’ve snacked too much (or too close to dinner), so they’re not hungry. • They’ve had too much milk, water or juice. Filling up on liquids leaves little room for food. • They’re unsure. Dinner often has unfamiliar foods, casseroles with things mixed together and unfamiliar veggies.
30 • SanDiegofamily.com • Baby & Toddlers Guide 2023
Why Toddlers Prefer Snacking Snacks are fun! They’re uncomplicated, easy-to-eat, often familiar foods. Snacks often include items like yogurt, fruit, crackers, cheese sticks, maybe even sweets like graham crackers or minicookies. They already know they like these things, there are no risks involved and they can eat them on the go. What’s not to love?
What to Do (in the Moment and Tomorrow) When your toddler refuses dinner, but insists on crackers, there are steps you can take in the moment and things you can implement tomorrow. In the moment Stay calm. Toddlers know how to push buttons, and saying “no” is an easy way to do that. As hard as it is, stay neutral. A few helpful phrases: • “You don’t have to eat it.” If your toddler is used to drama when she says “no” at the table, she may be surprised by your new, cool-as-a-cucumber reaction. This powerful phrase instantly defuses tension. • “There’s XYZ on the table if you want.” Make sure there’s always something on the table your child likes—a side dish like veggies or rice, or meal component like plain tortillas or fruit. If she refuses dinner, point out the item on the table in a matter-of-fact, zero-pressure way.
