Woman San Diego
www.sandiegowoman.com
Surprising Wines of South Africa
Issue 1, 2009
Kimberly Hunt & Daughter Savannah Making a Difference
Anne Cleveland
Conquering the English Channel
Basics of Internet Marketing
Winning the Wardrobe War
Dear Readers, Change seems to be the theme throughout our nation as 2009 takes off with some hopeful upswings in our economy. We have plenty of changes in store for San Diego Woman as the year progresses, and I will be certain to keep all of our readers informed as new and exciting events occur. Our cover girls for this issue are the beautiful and intelligent Channel 10 News Anchor Kimberly Hunt and her lovely daughter Savannah. Although our covers have always featured just one cover girl, we think you will agree, after reading their story, that both ladies deserve to be front and center. Read about how Kimberly got her start in the news business and learn what she and her entire family are doing to make the world a better place. Our exciting “Women of Distinction” nominee this month is Anne Cleveland. Take some time to read the amazing story of how this woman swam the English Channel, not only one way, but both ways at the age of 48; an incredible feat for anyone of any age. Is your wardrobe in need of a facelift? Is your budget too tight in these tough financial times to go purchase a brand new one, even though you really want to? Read our article “Winning the Wardrobe War” for some quick ideas to infuse new life into existing items. Since change is good, perhaps it is finally time for you to deal with that Bully at work who has been making your life miserable. In “Lasso the Workplace Bull-y” you will learn how to handle the issue without losing your cool or your mind. With all that is happening in our country right now, we are all eagerly watching to see what will be next, and how we as the women of San Diego can help to make a difference. Times are challenging for many of our readers, and I want to say “Thank you” to all of you out there who have taken the time to write and tell us about your lives and personal challenges. Thanks for sharing and remember, San Diego Woman is here to serve the needs of the women of San Diego, so we want to be certain that we handle topics of interest to all of our readers. Please, take some time to email or write and let us know what you would like to see in our magazine, or, share your comments on what you have already seen, or perhaps just send us a quick note to say hi. We love your input and want you to always remember that San Diego Woman is your magazine. Thanks again for reading!
Regards,
Judith A. Habert
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Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
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Inside
Issue 1, 2009
Anne Cleveland, One Stroke at a time. An amazing story of determination and strength. ....................................................7
The Importance of Branding ......................................................................................11 Finding way to be remembered. Kimberly Hunt- Giving Back ....................................................................................12 Profile of an amazing woman and her supportive family. Why Not Date a Younger Man? ................................................................................18 Winning the Wardrobe War .......................................................................................20 Turn your wardrobe around without spending a fortune. Looking Younger for Less .......................................................................................... Ways to stop the aging clock without breaking the bank. Men in High Heels .....................................................................................................25 Men borrow our heels to make a statement against domestic violence. I Don’t Want to Deal with That. ................................................................................36 There are days when we all feel this way. Learn one woman’s answer. Lasso the Workplace Bull-y .....................................................................................37 Gaining control in your workplace Music For Change .....................................................................................................39 How this Presidential election helped shape our music
Serenity in the Midst of Activity ...............................................................................47 How Tai Chi can help calm your inner soul Lullabies .....................................................................................................................48 Not just for babies anymore.
In every Issue
Letters to the Editor ...................................................................................................4 Read what San Diego Women have to say Business Matters .......................................................................................................19 How customer service can make the difference. Bitchin & Moaning ....................................................................................................26 How Tabloid Terrorism has invaded my mind. Traveling with Teens .................................................................................................28 Doling out an allowance to keep expenses under control. He Said, She Said ......................................................................................................30 We are at it again this time - “Does my butt look big in these pants?” Ask Dr. Penny ............................................................................................................33 Dr Penny gives you questions to ponder before saying “I Do” The Wine Connoisseur ............................................................................................34 Explore the wonders of Chardonnay Fabulous Finds .........................................................................................................41 Discover some of the hot items our editors have discovered in San Diego. Foods From Around The World ...............................................................................43 Mozzarella & Procuitto Stuffed Chicken Breast Events Around Town .................................................................................................49 Join us at some of the top Restaurants for a night on the town. Concert Calendar .......................................................................................................50 Learn what is happening on the local concert circuit.
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
We as Friends, Laugh ...............................................................................................42 Read this heartwarming story of friendship
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Publisher/Editor-in-Chief editor@sandiegowoman.com
4 Sonali Soni
Creative Director
creativedirector@sandiegowoman.com
Woman San Diego
San Diego
Judith A. Habert
Woman
Behind the Pages
www.sandiegowoman.com 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 La Jolla: 858.454.1999 Escondido: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866 Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com
Issue 1, 2009
Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
Sonali Soni Creative Director
Robert Tussey Copy Editing
Lisa K. Miller Photographer
W R I T E R S
Robert Tussey has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.
Although her family’s travels have taken her far and wide, Diane Garner has called San Diego County home for thirty-seven years. During those years in paradise, she graduated from college, married the man of her dreams, and raised two awesome children. After a long, left-brained career as a CPA, she is now pursuing her right-brained passion for writing.
Sanjay Kabadi
A foodie, an accomplished, well traveled personal chef and gourmet caterer is also a guest chef at Qualcomm. He specializes in various cuisines with a flair for ethnic Indian food. For more information, please contact sanjaykabadi@yahoo.com
Catherine Mattice
Dr. Penny M.Goffman Dr. Penny Michelle Goffman is a clinical psychologist in San Diego providing individual, couple, family therapy, coaching and high conflict mediation. Please send your relationship questions to: drpenny@sandiegowoman. com.
Deborah D. Lazear
Author and teacher of wine studies for over 15 years, Deborah’s background and her Certified Specialist of Wine designation, makes her more than just a “foodie” who loves wine! Having taught wine appreciation, wine and food pairing, and written curriculum for San Diego State U. Business of Wine certificate program, she is no stranger to piquing people’s interest in exploring wine.
Jaime V. Habert
Jaime is a music enthusiast whose favorite genres include jazz vocals, and classical crossover. She has plans to pursue a degree in journalism and media. She is a freelance writer, who takes every opportunity to write about the subject she loves. Jaime resides with her family in Rancho Bernardo, California.
Catherine Mattice earned both her Bachelors and Masters in Organizational Communication from SDSU. She has published both nationally and internationally, and has appeared on such stations as NBC, ABC and FOX over 30 times. Her firm, Catherine Mattice Consulting, is focused on helping organizations build effective organizational communication processes and deal with workplace bullies. Learn more about bullies at her website: www. NoworkplaceBullies.com.
Marilyn Taylor
Rob Weinberg
Rob is president of The MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www.marketbuilding.com.
Robin Dohrn-Simpson Joanna Pompilio Robin is a freelance writer living in San Diego. She has had her travel articles published online in ezines. When not sitting at her desk she can usually be found exploring the corners of San Diego. Her passions include writing, going on adventures and scrapbooking.
Joanna Pompilio is a freelance writer based in New York City. She writes for local regional women's publications across the US about fashion, beauty and women's health.
Issue 1, 2009
Marilyn was born and raised in San Diego. She gives seminars on search marketing and manages search marketing projects for companies on a freelance basis working with a team of programmers and writers. Marilyn is a single mom to five children, one girl and four boys, ranging in age from 24 down to 12, and is the proud grandma to a three year old.
Lisa K Miller
Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.
San Diego
Robert Tussey
Diane Garner
Jack Doxey formed Doxey & Associates Inc in 1991. It is a San Diego based management and consultant company dedicated to helping companies grow and change. In February of 2004, Jack formed The Doxey & Jensen Group. Prior to owning his own company, Jack was the Training Manager in the Quality Assurance department of the Hewlett Packard Company.
P HOTOGRAPHER
Jack Doxey
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Letters Editor to the
Thanks for a wonderful approach to a women’s publication. It’s nice to have a magazine educate and inform the ladies of San Diego. Jennifer from Point Loma I loved your feature on Carol Lebeau. I always loved watching her on the evening news and now after reading her story I love her even more. What a strong and inspirational woman and a great choice for your cover girl. Bernadette from San Diego
I never realized how many great resorts we have in San Diego. Your article “Paradise In Your Own Backyard” opened my eyes to some great local options. For our anniversary I decided to take your suggestion and I surprised my husband with a room at the Hilton on the Bay. It was our best anniversary yet! Thanks for a great idea and a great magazine. Annie from San Marcos The photographs in your magazine are breathtaking. Hats off to your photographer. Lilly from Carlsbad
Thank you for your article about what to do when children won’t listen. I have been struggling to deal with a temperamental 4 year old. Now I know I’m not alone. Sammi from Escondido When I had to buy a car for my stepdaughter I thought I would go crazy. It caused several fights with my husband, but I stood my ground and she ended up with a good reliable vehicle. No it wasn’t a brand new sports car, but I can relax when she is out driving, because I know it is safe. I totally agree with your article. Joan from Poway Can I come work with you? I bet your staff has a blast putting each issue together. Where can I sign up? Lauren from San Diego My favorite article in your magazine is He Said/She Said. Highlighting the difference between how men and women see things has been enlightening to me. I have to agree with Robert though, sorry Judith, but men are beaten up an awful lot when women should stand up and take the blame as well. Great column. Andrea from Alpine
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Keep up the good work. Your magazine always makes me smile. Wendy from La Jolla I loved the Spotlight Column and the listing of local concerts. What a great way to get to know some of our local talent, and keep track of what is happening around town. Thanks for sharing Delany’s story. Briana from Point Loma I feel sorry for the men of San Diego, they need a magazine dedicated to them too. Maybe that can be your next venture. Jill from San Marcos I love your magazine. My only complaint is that you are not monthly. It is so hard to wait two months for an issue. Everything else is wonderful. Keep informing the women of San Diego. We love it. Jan from San Diego
Issue 1, 2009
Woman of Distinction
Anne Cleveland - “One Stroke at a Time” She may have been young, but Anne Cleveland’s Mom knew right off the bat that her daughter had a strong affinity for the water. When given a birthday present of a boat trip, it took all of her power to keep Anne on the boat and out of the water. Not much has changed, decades later Anne Cleveland finds it almost impossible to stay out of the water. Anne started swimming as a young girl and swam competitively from the age of 13. She was such a strong swimmer that when she attended La Jolla High School, the absence of
By Judith A. Habert Photos : Lisa K. Miller
plunge and started spending every Sunday afternoon at the pool. She would swim the width of the pool, which was 20 yards, stop and rest and then continued doing this for about 30 minutes. There was a lot of wheezing going on at first, but before too long Anne was able to withstand more time in the water. Anne smiles and adds, “About a month later the kids at the pool talked me into doing the Coronado Fourth of July Rough Water Swim, which is a one mile ocean swim. I did it, and I was so proud afterwards that I came home and called all my friends to tell them what I had done.”
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Woman
For Anne this was only the beginning. “I was reading an article which was a first person account of a woman’s experience swimming the English Channel. This brought back my childhood desire to swim the Channel.” Shortly thereafter another article appeared about two local gentlemen who had swum the English Channel in their early sixties. “I found out that they swam at the La Jolla Cove. So I set out to meet them. I went down to the Cove and met one of the men, Bob West,
a girls swim team prior to title 9 meant that if she was to swim it would be as a member of the Boy’s Swim team. So swim she did with the boys, proving to be one of their strongest competitors. Anne competed in rough water swims in her early teens and was lucky enough to hear the great Channel swimmer, Florence Chadwick talk to her swim team about Dover and her English Channel swim. Ann recalls, “It was at that moment that I decided that one day I would swim the English Channel.” After high school came college and marriage and Anne’s love of swimming took a back seat for quite some time. At the age of 40, having given up a 23 year smoking habit, Anne decided that the best diversion was to get back to her primary love, swimming. She joined the mission beach
who was president of the La Jolla Cove Swim Club and he became my mentor.
Issue 1, 2009
Woman of Distinction I started swimming in the ocean regularly with the group. One day Bob asked in his big booming baritone voice, ‘So Anne, when are you going to swim your first channel?’” Anne was ready for the challenge, “That was what really kicked it off for me. I was going to do a channel swim, so I booked the Catalina Channel swim, which is where most of us channel swimmers cut our teeth.” Catalina is close to home so it is cheaper to get too, the distance is about the same as the English channel, (21 miles from Catalina to Point Vincente on the mainland.) The England Channel swim is a 22 mile swim. The ocean temperature in Catalina is warmer than the English Channel swim. The water is usually in the high 60’s to low 70’s. In the English Channel it is high 50’s to low 60’s.
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The outcome of this first swim in September of 1999 was not great for Anne. She failed to follow the advice to put on a few pounds before she attempted the swim. “I was too vain to gain and I paid for it. The extra body fat helps insulate the body against the cold; without this barrier against the cold the swim becomes impossible.” We had a la nina weather pattern that year so the temperatures were colder, in the low 60’s and by the end it was in the high 50’s, and Anne wasn’t expecting water that cold. After about 6 hours in the water and only 6 miles from the finish point, she passed out from hypothermia. Luckily she woke up, feeling like she had just blinked, but suddenly she started swimming erratically and was headed for the propeller of her escort boat. She felt like she had died and gone to hell, and hell was so very cold. She tried valiantly to continue “I wasn’t about to quit…all my friends were on the boat offering support, but no matter how strong minded you are, you can’t beat hypothermia. In my humiliation of defeat, I was passing through the galley of the support boat, on my way to the hot shower, when one of my friends anxiously inquired, ‘So, you are going to try this again? My response was a resounding ‘Hell No!.’ And I hid in the hot shower for as long as I could get away with it.” Issue 1, 2009
My next attempt at a Channel swim was the warm 10 mile Maui Channel which is from Lanai to Maui. I was successful in this attempt and completed the swim in 4 hours. However, Anne was determined not to give up on the Catalina Channel swim. For her second Catalina attempt the conditions were not cooperative, and the waters were so rough that the officials debated letting Anne attempt the swim, but at that point she would have had to pay the escort boat the full fee so they decided to let her give it a try. She was seasick from the ride over to Catalina, but determined to succeed this time. After four hours of swimming in these conditions, Anne couldn’t help but admit to herself that this was harder than she thought it would be. It gave her a new respect for channel swimmers. She continued on valiantly wondering in her mind if she truly could pull this off. At the time not realizing that what she was swimming in was so much worse than normal Channel conditions. As it turned out she had a 10 hour and 15 minute swim, a great time for the conditions in which she was swimming, but most importantly she had done it. She had mastered a Channel swim. “I can still recall reaching the mainland and touching the ground under the beautiful light house at Point Vincente.” The Catalina Channel swim starts around midnight, because the swimmers want to be done around ten o’clock in the morning to avoid the wind chop. I couldn’t help but ask how a swimmer can successfully swim in the dark, considering possible ocean friends and simply the inability to see in what direction you are headed. The answer seemed simple after Anne explained, “You have a boat that escorts you, we have a larger boat and a kayak that works off of the escort boat. They keep you going in the right direction and look out for your safety. They also provide meal feeds of a warm carbohydrate drink every 30 minutes to keep the swimmers alert and strong to make it through the length of their swim.”
Woman of Distinction took the world by surprise by accomplishing such a feat for a woman. What had them equally aghast was that she swam in a midriff baring swim suit that her sister designed for her. This was during a time when women only swam in long, fully concealed swim dresses. However, Gertrude knew she couldn’t swim the channel in the traditional garb. Even more surprising was that at some point through the swim the top of the suit was causing chaffing, which was inhibiting her swim, so she took off the top and completed the swim in only the bottom half of the suit.
“A week after my Catalina swim, I attended the La Jolla Rough Water Swim as a spectator, which I was skipping for the first time since I had gotten back into the water, when my training partners informed me that they felt I was ready for the English Channel Swim. I decline, having decided to wait a year before attempting this. They didn’t let me off the hook that easy. And when they said they would pay my airfare if I went, I figured okay, let’s do it.”
It was truly amazing to me to hear that anyone could withstand 28 hours in icy cold water with high winds and darkness adding to the almost impossible task, so the most pressing questions I had for Anne was how do you do it and is it honestly fun? Anne chuckled and thought about it for a moment before responding. “Yeah, it is fun. Part of it is the challenge. You have such a strong determination to finish… no actually,” she corrects herself, “It is the determination to do five more minutes. You don’t think in terms of hours, you think in terms of minutes. When you are standing on the beach in France you don’t think I have to swim all the way back to England. You just say to yourself I am going to see how far I can swim. Every half hour we get a warm carbohydrate flavored drink for nutrition we call that a feed, so you say I can go to the next feed. Then as it gets more grueling on your body you tell yourself I can go another 15 minutes, then okay I can do another 5 minutes and by the tail end you simple say I can go one more stroke and you concentrate on pulling as much water as you can with each stroke. The English Channel is truly swum ‘one stroke at a time’ It is truly amazing what your body can do if your mind will simply allow it.”
Having learned her lesson from her first attempt in icy waters Anne knew she would have to put on the requisite 30 pounds in order to have a successful attempt. So in July 2002 Anne Cleveland made her way to England and set off to accomplish her childhood dream, to swim the English Channel. Knowing how difficult athletes work to remain slim and in shape I had to inquire how this added weight affected stamina, lung capacity and speed. Anne addressed these questions, “It does affect you somewhat, but you aren’t swimming for speed, so you can get around the extra pounds. What slows you down more than any weight can is getting cold. If you get cold you just can’t make it happen. So it is better to gain weight and lose a little speed than to not gain it and really lose speed or not be able to do it because of the effect of the cold on your body.” Anne succeeded on her first English Channel attempt and one would think this would suffice, to have met your childhood goal, but as Anne admits, “Channel swimming is addictive and once you accomplish one goal you are always in search of the next challenge.” In 2004 at the age of 48, Anne set out to do a consecutive two way swim across the English Channel and back. The swim had Anne in the frigid waters between England and France and back again for 28 hours. This swim gave Anne Cleveland the world record as the oldest of the elite group of 18 individuals to have ever completed a two way swim.
San Diego
All I could think of as Anne gave me the details of her ten hours in the water, was that is must be really tough to get out of bed the next day after putting your body through such a grueling workout. “I swim a lot with the core of my body so my abs hurt. A little ibuprofen helps, and I usually get back in the water and stretch it out a bit. A little hair of the dog, you might say. You are actually so high on the fact that you did it that it usually doesn’t hurt too badly.” Anne also admits that it is at this point that you usually say 'never again,' but before you know it you are back on the phone booking another one.
So what is now in store for Anne Cleveland? Anne currently does motivational speaking at health spas and corporate functions. She is also a realtor with Beacham Walsh Properties in La Jolla and is the swimming coach for La Jolla High School at the Coggan Family Aquatic Complex, where she also coaches the Masters swimming team which is a swim team for adults that provides structured coached work outs. In addition she is a strong believer in community service and is the immediate past president of the La Jolla Town Council,
Anne shared some interesting bits of information with me on Channel swimming. In total only about 1,000 individuals have successfully swam the English Channel. Of these only 18 have completed a two way swim and only 3 individuals have the distinction of a three way swim. This places Anne in a very elite group of swimmers. Also, Anne shared the story of Gertrude Ederle, the first woman to complete a one way English Channel swim. The year was 1926 and she Issue 1, 2009
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where she has served for the past several years and currently is the chair for the Town Council Parks and Beaches sub-committee.
long Anne will be attempting yet another amazing feat “One stroke at a time.”
For more information and pictures on Anne’s Channel swims So having accomplished her childhood dream and then visit her site at www.annecleveland.com some, I had to ask if she was going to continue attempting the amazing swimming feats. Anne just smiled and admitted that there are two more challenging Channel swims that intrigue her Neck Pain Back Pain COMPLIMENTARY and are considered to be more Spinal Stenosis Fibromyalgia CONSULTATION difficult than the English ChanHeadaches Carpal Tunnel Most insurances accepted including Sciatica Syndrome medicare & tricare (no referral needed). nel. One is between England and We do all the paperwork, we accept leins! Scotland and in addition to frigid waters it is known for poisonous NEW PATIENTS ONLY. OFFER EXPIRES 1/31/09. jelly fish, which have curtailed Medical Doctors, Chiropractors & many swimmers attempts to comPhysical Therapists SERVICES WE OFFER: plete the swim. The other swim Physical Medicine Working Together For You. is The Cook Strait which is a 16 Physical Therapy Chiropractic Care nautical mile swim also complete Massage Therapy with frigid water and poisonous X-Ray Electrodiagnostic jelly fish. It is the body of water Rehabilitation separating the North and South Medical Care Islands of New Zealand. To date, only 71 successful crossing have been made by 61 individuals from 8 countries. Although, she admits HERE AT LAST! 4S RANCH the England Scotland swim is not RANCHO BERNARDO CHULA VISTA OCEANSIDE as interesting to her as the Cook 619.421.0444 Strait swim, she coyly refused 858.312.5300 760.630.8400 to comment on whether or not www.upgdoctors.com she will attempt, it although I can’t help but feel that before too Issue 1, 2009
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The Importance of Branding By Rob Weinberg antee you’ll grow your business, of course. But if you’re serious about long-term visibility for your company and yourself, there’s no better way to achieve it than by distinguishing yourself with a look that’s unique. --------------------
Rob Weinberg is president of the MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www. marketbuilding.com.
San Diego
Frequently I’m asked why I wear my hat wherever I go. As a guy without much hair, I figure the answer should be obvious. Yet my efforts to prevent sunstroke aside, the hat has become my professional brand after years of wearing it night and day, inside and out. It ensures that I stand out in a crowd, because so few people wear hats like mine. Before you turn the page, amazed that Judith allowed this ridiculous article to creep into such a classy publication, consider that my clients and sales prospects always remember me. I’ve spoken at seminars and had people recognize me years later…all because I wear that hat. It’s too easy to get lost in the shuffle these days, and out of sight is definitely out of mind. With 185 million distinct websites and 200 million blogs on the web, people need some way of distinguishing themselves. After reading this you might not remember my name, but I’m pretty sure you’ll remember my hat. Such is the power of branding. Branding isn’t just for Nike, Target and at&t either. Every business person needs to stand out these days with some form of personal and/or professional branding. Brian Habib, former pro footballer, is a realtor who appeals to sports fans to let him be “The Champion on your Home Team.” Realtor Peri Cunefare is “The Lady in Red”. Realtor George Cooke is renowned for area photos and maps. Each has a hook to draw attention in a fiercely competitive market. Each successfully stands out of the crowd. Whatever your business, make yourself stand out a bit while sticking to your personal style. Wear a carnation in your lapel. Or size 27 green shoes and a red rubber nose. You may color your hair purple to be different. You may get a reverse nose job. Or give out Tootsie Rolls to everyone you meet. My friend Barry resembles Danny DeVito, and has been known to give out autographs using that name. US Senator Paul Simon wore a bowtie. Elton John has his eyeglasses. The possibilities are endless. Whatever look or tool you use for branding yourself, though, recognize that your choice must be a long-term commitment. Select an image for yourself and then, like your company’s logo and tag line, brand it into the minds of customers, prospects, and the community at-large. Being inconsistent will only confuse those you seek to influence. Like your overall company branding (logo, tagline, fonts, colors, URL, etc.), consistently repeat your one carefully chosen image (i.e. the hat) until community members and prospective customers associate the image with your business name. Soon you, too, will have people recognizing you from behind. Even a steady diet of the same image can’t guarIssue 1, 2009
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Kimberly Hunt Making A Difference
We often look at objects of beauty and simply admire them
for what we see, without delving any deeper into what lies beneath. If we do take the time to examine them further, we often find that what lies beneath is as beautiful. I can honestly say that this is indeed the case with Channel 10 News anchor Kimberly Hunt. I was lucky enough to have spent some time with her recently to get to know one of the women behind the face of our daily evening newscasts. We met in the unassuming cafeteria of Channel 10 studios in San Diego to chat about life, love and career as a member of the longest running Female News Anchor team in the country. Kimberly Hunt and Carol Lebeau have been the standard in news in San Diego for the past two decades. What happens outside the studio when the cameras are off? Is life as glamorous as it appears? Of course there are guest appearances, meetings with celebrities and hob knobbing with the San Diego elite, but at the base of it all is a woman who believes that her celebrity should be used to give back, not only to our community but to charities around the world. Kimberly grew up in the Napa Valley and at the age of 15 had already mapped out her future career goals. She knew from this young age that she wanted to become a news reporter. The initial interest came from her father, even though he wasn’t in the news field. Kimberly’s Dad was an officer for the California Highway Patrol. When Dad came home at night his briefcase would be full of reports of events that happened each day. It fascinated her when
By Judith A. Habert Photos : Lisa K. Miller
she watched her Dad work; so much so that she briefly wanted to be an investigator. and then thought about wanting to get married and have a family so she decided being a reporter would probably be the best choice for her. Once the seed was planted Kimberly ran with the idea, researching colleges until she happened upon the perfect program. Kimberly decided to attend San Francisco State University where she would major in broadcast journalism. She had heard wonderful things about their program and was not disappointed in her choice. There was a television station on campus which broadcast news five days a week, Kimberly quickly found her niche and settled in to learn all she could about the field she loved. As Kimberly stated, “One of the things I loved most about the program was that our advisor was straight out of the NBC affiliate in San Francisco and he ran the newsroom on campus as he did in real life. So we all learned every aspect of the profession. Our jobs changed frequently allowing all of us to get experience as reporters, directors, producers, camera operators, editors and on air news personalities. By the time I graduated I had done it all.”
Kimberly didn’t wait to graduate to get her feet wet in the industry. It was only her second year in college when she earned an internship at the San Francisco CNN bureau as an assignment editor. Along with classes, Issue 1, 2009
Kimberly Hunt
Kimberly enjoyed her time there, but knew that what she really wanted was to get into television reporting, so she sent tapes out and a few offers came in. “I chose to go to Monterey California,” recalls Kimberly, “It was a CBS affiliate and I was offered the position of anchoring the midday news and reporting for the nightly news.” Kimberly quickly moved up to the nightly news position when the then current anchor moved on to another position. So here Kimberly was, only 6 months out of college and anchoring the evening news. Her time in Monterey was a blast. According to Kimberly, “At the time Clint Eastwood was mayor of Carmel. He would come in the station and we would interview him and do stories with him. Anytime he had a cause to fight for he would come visit us. “Kimberly stayed in Monterey for 1 ½ years and was approached by a Sacramento station and a Dallas StaIssue 1, 2009
tion. While trying to decide in which direction to venture she received a phone call from San Diego. She knew instantly that this offer needed some attention. She flew to San Diego and a day and a half later was offered the job. San Diego would now be her new home. And it has remained so for two decades, a decision that she has never regretted. Kimberly joined Carol Lebeau and has, over the years, developed not only a wonderful working relationship, but a friendship that has stood the test of time. Kimberly even credits Carol with a large role in ending up with the man of her dreams. Kimberly remembers, “Two weeks after I
San Diego
Kimberly interned three days a week, and shortly thereafter got a radio broadcast job on weekends. So when she graduated she already had three years of experience in various aspects of the field she loved. As graduation time rolled around another event occurred that quickly shaped her life and career path. The ABC network news team out of New York came to San Francisco to cover the Democratic National Convention and they contacted her school in search of graduates to assist them during their week in San Francisco. Kimberly quickly applied for the position and was accepted. This was a huge break for her, being called upon to serve as a research assistant for Peter Jennings. Kimberly knew she was in her element and she worked as hard as she could to be the best assistant possible. This seemed to pay off, when during the last day of the convention, Kimberly was approached by the director of the convention. He told her that he had been watching the work she had been doing for the week and informed her that he needed an associate producer for Monday Night Football, and asked if she would be interested in the position. Already committed to a full time position at the radio station upon graduation, Kimberly decided to approach her boss to see if they could arrange her days off to accommodate this new offer. They were happy to do it, and Kimberly went to work for Monday Night Football.
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arrived in San Diego there was a weekend UCP telethon being held at the station and Carol was supposed to co-host it, but she came down with the flu, so I was asked to take her place . I was thrilled, but didn’t know anyone in town yet. All I knew was that a San Diego Charger was going to be the other host, along with Jack White, a long time legendary news anchor.” Kimberly came face to face with Billy Ray Smith. “He was just so nice,” adds Kimberly, “A real Southern gentleman.” They hit it off well, but life continued as it had for Kimberly, concentrating on her career and becoming the best news anchor she could be.
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Kimberly Hunt Billy Ray would come into the studios once a week to be on air with Channel 10 sportscasters to discuss the Chargers. He would pass by Kimberly, give her a friendly hi and a wave but that was as far as it went. During one of these visits Carol asked me, “Hey Kimberly, what about Billy Ray, have you ever thought about him.” And Kimberly replied, “He’s a really nice guy, an incredibly nice guy, but he has never even remotely acted like he wanted to ask me out.” Carol decided to play match maker to her dear friend and approached Billy Ray, asking him the same question and dropping a suggestion that maybe he should think about asking Kimberly out. This little nudge from Carol was all he needed and soon after he called and invited Kimberly to lunch. They never stopped dating from that lunch on, and after two years they were married. Billy Ray played professional football, following in his father’s footsteps, for three additional years and today also finds himself on air as a sportscaster. They live in a beautiful home in San Diego with their 16 year old daughter Savannah. One would think with the busy schedule of a news anchor and a family life, full of volleyball games and family and business events, that there would be little time for the lady behind the news desk to venture beyond her daily duties. This is furthest from the truth when it comes to Kimberly Hunt. Not only has she embraced numerous local and international charities, she has passed the passion on to her 16 year old daughter Savannah who at this tender young age already has her own charity which she works at feverishly to help make a difference. Together they are doing just that. Several years ago Kimberly decided that she needed to give Issue 1, 2009
back to a community that has embraced her. She started out locally finding time to dedicate to many charities focusing on issues involving children, women, and law enforcement. One of her most passionate causes is the 11-99 Foundation which raises money for the families of fallen officers killed in the line of duty. This is a cause close to her heart since her father was a 30 year veteran of the California Highway Patrol and even more so, having lost her grandfather, a police officer, in the line of duty. Kimberly quickly adds, “That organization is near and dear to my heart. We owe these men and women in law enforcement a huge debt of gratitude.” This is another thing that Kimberly and Billy Ray have in common; he too has many charities with which he is involved. One of his favorite is the Wounded Warriors of Camp Pendleton. He has a foundation and he raises a lot of money that goes for local military. With two parents so deeply involved in giving back to the community, it is no wonder that the trait has also rubbed off on Savannah. At a very early age she learned the importance of helping those who need assistance. As Kimberly states, “In the past few years I decided that I wanted to do more. I wanted to keep supporting the local charities, but I also wanted to look outside my community. And the fact that I had a teenager made it important to me that I teach her about the world around her and that we need to help those in need.” As a result, Savannah now has her own charity that helps refugees, that she works with through the International Rescue Committee here in San Diego In addition she is a young ambassador for “Opportunity International.” Both Kimberly and her daughter are involved with this charity.
Kimberly Hunt
By Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K. Miller
Personally, as a family, Kimberly, Billy Ray and Savannah are ten year sponsors of a child from Vietnam. “While we were in Vietnam, Savannah and I were escorted on the back of motorcycles by local Vietnamese men into a very remote area of the Mekong Delta, an area that you cannot get to by car. We went to the house of the girl we were sponsoring, which had a thatched roof and dirt floors. At the center of the room was a wooden palette that the family of five slept on with one blanket. We spent some time with her and Savannah saw first-hand what an incredible family it was, the grace, dignity and pride that they possessed due to the fact that their child was going to be educated as a result of our sponsorship.” Through their charity work Kimberly and Savannah were told of a family from the Congo who lived in San Diego. Kimberly and Savannah wanted to learn more about them and they soon befriended them. They have a little girl, and Savannah started tutoring their little girl who speaks Swahili and Issue 1, 2009
French. Savannah speaks fluent French, so she tutored her in French in order to teach her English. One day Savannah came home from their apartment and she approached Kimberly and said “Mom, we have to do something, they don’t have a table and chairs and they only have one bed” So Kimberly set out to help Savannah raise money to buy the family some furniture. Once this task was accomplished Savannah realized that if there was one family in this situation there had to be more, so she decided to create her own charity called “Make this home,” to help other refugee families. Even more amazing is the fact that when Savannah turned 16 last year she decided to forgo the usual sweet sixteen party and instead threw a sweet sixteen masquerade ball
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It’s a micro finance charity which gives out small loans to very poor entrepreneurs in 26 nations around the world. You can hear the enthusiasm in Kimberly’s voice as she explains, “I travel with them internationally and I have seen these clients myself and what they can do with 100.00 is just amazing. They build a business allowing them to feed their children, educate their children, cloth their children. They improve their homes, lay cement floorings over the dirt which helps cut down disease. Once they get their business working they hire people to help, they get another loan, they grow the business, now they are employing people. Now they are helping other people and they start branching out to the community. It raises up an entire community through these small individual loans.” Savannah has been around the charity scene for most of her young life, going to events with Mom and Dad and watching all that they did to give back. The true eye opener for Savannah was when Kimberly took her along on a trip to Vietnam with another international charity called “Room to Read” “Savannah was 13 or 14 when I took her with me to Vietnam with Room To Read, they build schools and school libraries for children who can’t afford to go to school. We went to the Mekong Delta. We arrived at the tail end of the project. We came in and finished it off, put books on the shelves, and computers in the school rooms, chairs in the classrooms. Parents came in and they painted walls and tables and we opened the school.”
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fundraiser, asking all in attendance not to give her presents but to instead make a contribution to Opportunity International. Through her efforts she managed to collect close to $20,000 for this wonderful charity. You can see the glow of pride in Kimberly’s eyes as she tells me about her daughter and her dedication to helping others. Kimberly definitely has reason to be very proud. It’s been close to 20 years that Kimberly has been a fixture on our evening news so I asked how she felt things had changed in the profession over the years. “Well, the industry has changed, mainly because of the absolute flourishing of cable news, Internet news, and cell phone news. People have so many options these days.”
Kimberly Hunt What does Kimberly love about her job? That’s an easy question, “I love the experiences that I’ve had and the people that I had the opportunity to meet that I wouldn’t normally have met if I held a different job. Going to academy awards, interviewing a sitting president at the White House, flying with the blue angels, spending a day with Oprah Winfrey, working with the police canine unit (where they put me in a leather suit and had the dog attack me,) following the Pope around for several days on a US visit, being at a naval station in Coronado with the navy seals during their Hell week. How would I have ever known that? Just day to day the people I meet. I meet interesting people, experts in their field, people doing great things in the world. I would never be able to meet them if not for this job.” Those of us who welcome Kimberly into our homes every night are also grateful to have the opportunity to get to know someone who takes such joy in helping others and who has invested so much in giving back to our community and the world.
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Kimberly believes that the most important part of her job is to present the news in an honest balanced approach. So I couldn’t help but ask the question, “So do you love your job?” Kimberly didn’t hesitate a moment saying, “I love it! I love it! I think that it is intrinsic that my blood starts to move a little faster, my brain starts to fire when there is breaking news. The adrenalin sustains it day after day. The more news there is, the more I live and breathe it. I got into the right business. If it is happening I want to be reporting it.”
Can your Son Become a Professional Baseball Player? A local Independent Scouting Bureau, SoCal Gold Scouting, can help your high school or college player get noticed. Visit Socal gold’s website for more information, and to find out how you can help your son live out his dream of becoming a major league baseball player. Go to the website at www.socalgoldscouting.com and while there enter to win a free t-shirt.
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Why Not Date a Younger Man?
By Marilyn Taylor
The younger man - older woman relationship is becoming more common. According to a study conducted by an online dating site this past year of 70,000 women daters over 35 more than 45% of the women showed interest in men at least 5 years younger. Years before, another survey of women over 40 showed that out of 5,000 women 40% dated men who were 10 or more years younger than themselves.
Age is a much less important factor than the common interests of the couple. Chronological age doesn't always match a person’s physical capability or emotional maturity. It also has a lot to do with attitude about your age, so just forget about the age factor and live life. You are beautiful at whatever age you are and younger men think so too. If you are uncertain about dating someone younger than you, think in the terms that you will be better off if you forget about the age difference and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a relationship succeed is not just the romantic, emotional and physical connection but also the ability to effectively communicate with each other. Think about how you are enhancing your possibilities for finding “Mr. Wonderful” by expanding your age range to 15 years younger (even more if you like) than yourself instead of just focusing on looking for someone who is older.
More men are dating older women because they feel the women are more self-assured and tend to be more settled and successful in their careers. Men value independence in women and are more likely to find that in an older woman. Women love to be active and younger men satisfy that need for women. Some older women feel younger than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. It has been my experience men my age and older do not have the same level of energy or interest in the same activities that I do. I turned 50 in November, and my boyfriend is 33. He keeps me from working too much, which in turn, gives me more time to travel and experience things in life I never thought I would. Too many people compromise when looking for a partner based on what they have been told all of their life. Most women are not told when they are growing up “When you are in your 40’s it is ok to date a man in their 20’s or 30’s.” We are told to be conservative and not to take risks when it comes to relationships. Success in any relationship depends on what common ground and motivations you share.
In the end, it is all about you and your happiness, you have been taking care of every one else your whole life, don’t you think it is time for you to take care of yourself? Take a risk in finding the right man. I guarantee it is worth the risk. If you are interested in asking me more questions about Older Women Dating Younger Men or just dating in general visit www.platinummatchmaking.com and join the site by adding a free profile and visiting the advice/FAQ page or email me at advice@datingonlinetoday.com.
The Amgen Tour Visits Rancho Bernardo The Amgen Tour of California is the largest cycling event in North America and this year marks the first time it will be coming through San Diego. The race, February 22nd, will start in Rancho Bernardo where there will be a Health and Wellness experience from 9am – 2pm and end in Escondido where a similar festival will take place. There will be food and wellness vendors, a kids zone, music, an autograph alley, and a great all around opportunity to see the top competitors in the sport compete on the final race day. For more information, visit www.sdncc.com/amgen. See you in Rancho Bernardo February 22nd, 9am – 2pm. Issue 1, 2009
Business Matters
Exceeding Customers’ Expectations By Jack Doxey
Much to my delight, I found a bagel shop, (Bruegger’s Bagels in Carmel Mountain) that makes delicious bagels and their service is excellent. The employees strive to be courteous and make you feel welcome. Needless to say when I want a good tasting bagel and, at the same time, a good experience, I go to Brueggers. I have recommended their store to many of my friends.
our customers. How do we do that? How do we get to a point where we have an obsession with creating a positive image with our customer? Here are a few things to consider when dealing with customers: 1. Try to anticipate customer’s needs and expectations and then go about not only meeting them but consistently exceeding them. 2. Provide a level of service that separates you from your competition. Keep a mental image in your mind that when you finish with the customer they will be so impressed that they will brag about you and recommend you to their relatives and friends. 3. Seek out customer feedback. When you get a negative response don’t make excuses: See it as an opportunity to create a strong, lasting relationship with the customer.
Does this all sound familiar? I’m sure we all have, at some time, recommended a specific person or company to friends or, on the negative side, discouraged someone to do business with someone because of the bad service we have received. In spite of all our good efforts, employees and organizations, on occasions, can drop the ball when it comes to customer service. In essence you have given the customer a problem rather than a positive experience. If you have the right attitude, you can use this opportunity to not only correct the situation but in the process build a positive customer relationship. It’s all a matter of attitude. We should always strive to build positive relationships with Issue 1, 2009
4. Ensure that customers issues are resolved - not to your satisfaction but to the customer’s satisfaction. Go out of your way to make sure the customer is happy. 5. Maintain a positive attitude even under difficult situations; even when, in your opinion, the customer is being unreasonable. Please give consideration to these suggestions. Better yet, practice them on your customers and the results will exceed your expectations.
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I grew up in New York City and one of the things I miss most are the delicious bagels you can get at almost any small coffee shop throughout Manhattan. Their product is excellent but many times the service does not match the quality of their product. They tend to ignore their customers and convey an attitude of “You’re lucky I even wait on you.” I don’t mean to imply that product quality and service are non existent in New York, but sometimes it is in short supply.
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Winning the Wardrobe War
How to tame your closet and find the wardrobe you never knew you had
By Joanna Pompilio Have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? It’s not that you don't have the right clothes – you just can't find them. Organizing the remains of what once resembled a closet should not be seen as a chore, but a foray into creating an entirely new wardrobe out of what is already hidden in that cluttered mess. Look at it as shopping without spending. To create the ideal closet it is essential to ruthlessly, but realistically, edit each piece of clothing. Start by going through everything and take out whatever has not been worn in the past two years. If something has not been worn in that time, it’s probably never going to be – so chuck it! “It depends on your shopping habits and how much space you have. If you are always shopping and do not have much space, we recommend ‘the switch’ bi-annually to accommodate ample closet space for Spring/ Summer and Fall/Winter,” recommends Michelle T. Sterling, Principal Image Consultant, Founder Global Image Group. “However if you do not shop that often and do not have many clothes, then going through your closet every two years to get rid of unused clothing is fine.” Set aside a few hours and throw on good undergarments. Be prepared - have a full length mirror nearby with good lighting – maybe even a glass of wine. Empty out the closet completely and stack all clothing and accessories around the room in piles according to the type of garment: jackets, skirts, pants, sweaters, scarves.
Evaluate the rest of the bits and pieces and categorize them using the three R’s: reject, repair and recycle. The reject pile consists of pieces that are completely unusable and worn to death. Place items that need manageable alterations, like hems, new buttons or letting out in the repair bin. Remember, do not dawdle about sending these to the tailor once the closet’s facelift is complete, that is how new clutter is born. Donate anything leftover to a charity and place the rest in the recycle box. Pick an organization to donate to, and learn about it. Read the literature, check out the web-site and visit the facility. Get the kids involved too, so they can see the rewards of giving to others. Now, the line has been drawn between the fabulous and the frumpy. This is when a new wardrobe starts to reveal itself and original ensembles are born. Try new combinations of clothing that previously were never worn together. Experiment! This is the fun part! Keep an open mind to ensure nothing is ruled out. Take outfits that are always worn together, the favorite go-to pieces that are worn often, and lay them out on a clean, flat surface. Try to mix them with other pieces typically not worn together. Remember, this is the time to play with new looks and discover innovative ways to combine pieces and accessories. The end result will be entirely new outfits and fresh looks.
Move from pile to pile and try everything on, even the most loved and regularly worn pieces. Take a long look in the full Not sure where or how to begin creating new ensembles? length mirror at each item and honestly access not only the Ask a girlfriend who has great style to come on over and help fit but how the garment feels. Do not settle for anything less out. Next weekend, switch and play wardrobe consultant to than complete fabulousness and refuse to keep anything that her. is uncomfortable or unflattering. Issue 1, 2009
Accessories can make all the difference in an outfit. Work with the accessories that have been hidden away beneath the clutter to bring the individuality out of the simplest clothes. Changing accessories can alter the entire look of an ensemble. Pick out individual, favorite accessories or clothing and commit to building new looks around each piece.
separates, they will be seen as independent pieces and new clothing combinations will be easier to spot.
“If you’re limited on counter or shelf space you can hang your belts, scarves and ties with specialty hangers,” recommends Olescia Hanson, spokesperson for The Container Store. “Another great solution is dedicating a drawer for your jewelry, so you can quickly find the right pair of earrings or necklace when picking out your outfit.”
Shopping in your own closet can be a refreshing experience; just let the creative juices flow and think of your own personal style icons – friends, relatives or even movie stars. There may be more va-va-voom items hiding away just waiting for you to realize why you bought them in the first place.
“Make sure that the items you need most often are the easiest to access,” describes Hanson. “Likewise, place the items you don’t need to get to as often on a higher shelf or in another area.”
Next, make the closet as appealing as possible tailoring it to your lifestyle as well as tidy. Keeping the closet orderly ensures maximum wearability of all clothes and allows for maximum creativity because all clothing options can be seen at once.
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“There are no mistakes on how to organize your wardrobe. The key is to organize it according to your lifestyle and needs,” according to Sterling. “For instance, if you have a job that requires you to wear business attire 5 days a week, then your main closet should be filled with your professional attire as that is the clothing you wear most often. If you recently transitioned from working in an office to becoming a stay-at-home mom and your main closet is still filled with suits, that would not be the best use of your closet space.”
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Hang similar items together. Break up suits and hang the skirts with other skirts and suit jackets with other jackets and blazers. By hanging suits as Issue 1, 2009
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Looking Younger For Less By Judith A. Habert
In these tough economic times many of us have been forced to give up numerous indulgences. There is one indulgence that many women are still unwilling to give up, and that is beauty. The question becomes, “What price beauty?” When considering how we can best utilize the money we have at our disposal, we often have to weigh what is most important and how to get the results we want for what we can afford. Often times, when we look in the mirror, we find our moms looking back at us, and wonder when did this happen? Although we often question where the time went, we all want to do what we can to retain a youthful appearance. The time comes when we start to realize that maybe we should consider some surgical intervention to get back the youth that we find slipping away. Unfortunately, facelifts and liposuction can be costly, and with current economic conditions many of us realize that the cost is prohibitive. There are however, some less expensive answers to help maintain our youthful appearances. Many plastic surgeons and medical spas are offering treatments such as Botox and Chemical Peels to help give us back that youthful glow. This past year alone in our country approximately 450,000 breast augmentations and 450,000 liposuctions were performed - but there were over 4.5 million Botox injections. In a time when we can least afford high cost procedures and extensive time away from those precarious jobs, many women have decided to give Botox and chemical peels a try. Certainly, the results are less obvious and shorter lived, but these procedures can help us to feel better about how we look until our financial situation improves and we can get the full face lift that we really need - or simply want. With so many facilities offering these less invasive procedures, why would you go to a plastic surgeon and not just a spa to receive these treatments? We caught up with Issue 1, 2009
renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Stuart Kincaid to obtain his insight on this matter. “Keep in mind that Botox injections are put into the facial muscles. By going to a trained physician for this treatment you are visiting someone highly trained on the location of facial muscles, (from facelift experience) proper injection into them and how they react” As Dr. Kincaid shared with me, “Many of the spas who offer these treatments have the procedure administered by someone who took a weekend course at a local hotel, not an individual trained for years in anatomy.” Is the cost higher to have a trained physician administer the treatment? Not necessarily, the price charged to have a certified physician provide the service is often the same as getting the treatment from a spa. If a spa offers an incredibly low price for this procedure, be weary: often a typical bottle of Botox medication, meant to provide several patient treatments, is diluted so much that the patient is getting a significantly inferior product injected into their face, or it may even be expired medication. Typical Botox injections last from 3-5 months. If a patient only gets 1-2 months worth of benefit from a treatment, chances are that the Botox has been severely diluted or is out of date, or improperly injected. We asked Dr. Kincaid What would happen if an unqualified individual provides the service. “If injected incorrectly the outcome could be very unpleasant. By paralyzing eye lid muscles you could end up with a droopy look which can also lead to eye irritation and infection. If brows, face or lips are incorrectly treated you could get an unnatural look that you may be forced to live with for several months.” Additionally, If you are considering this type of procedure take some time to thoroughly review the type of products and realistic expected results, so you can be well informed before you seek treatment.
Juvéderm®- If what you are looking for is a smoother result from a filler treatment, then Juvéderm is what you are looking for. Juvederm is from the makers of Botox cosmetic. As you age your skin changes, one major change is the reduction of the production of a naturally hydrating substance called hyaluronic acid (HA). After time, with the loss of HA, your skin starts to show wrinkles and folds. What Juvéderm does is replace the HA your skin has lost, bringing back its volume and smoothing away facial wrinkles and folds. It is injected into the skin in a quick office visit and the results are immediately visible, with occasional short term bruising. Local anesthesia is sometimes required for sensitive areas such as the lips. Radiesse®- This is a longer lasting dermal filler and differs chemically from Restylane and Juvéderm with results visible for approximately 15-18 months. Radiesse is FDA approved, and consists of unique calcium based microspheres suspended in a natural gel that is injected into the skin through a simple, safe, and minimally invasive procedure. Radiesse serves as a sort of “scaffold” when injected beneath the skin: it supports and stimulates the growth of your own collagen. Over time the calcium based microspheres gradually break down and are safely and naturally absorbed by your body. As a result, Radiesse does more than just temporarily fill in facial folds and wrinkles; it rebuilds your skin’s foundation and restores your youthful look without the risk associated with a permanent implant. Prevelle Silk®- This filler does not last as long as the other fillers(typically 3 months) but the results can make you look wonderful for an event the same evening as you get treatment. This is a more comfortable option for smoothing lines and wrinkles. Prevelle Silk is the first in a new line of dermal fillers to contain Lidocaine (local anesthetic) along with purified less thick hyaluronic acid for increased comfort during Issue 1, 2009
Evolence®- Is a new generation collagen that is longer lasting than previous collagen products of years ago. This dermal filler replaces the collagen that your skin loses over time with a natural collagen that lasts. It immediately improves your appearance by smoothing wrinkles and folds and restores structure in collagen depleted areas. Evolence requires little to no downtime after the procedure is performed. Results last at least 6 months. This product is new to the United States, but has been used extensively in Canada, Europe, and Israel for several years. Evolence is made of natural collagen, a protein that is responsible for skin structure and strength. The collagen in Evolence is cross-linked with a natural sugar that allows it to integrate beautifully and support your skin’s own existing collagen network by adding structure, strength, and volume. VI Peel® - if you are looking to improve the tone, texture, and clarity of your skin, and reduce or eliminate age spots, freckles, and hyper-pigmentation then the VI Peel, a chemical face peel which is a blend of several gentle light acids, is for you. The VI Peel will also soften lines and wrinkles and stimulate the production of collagen and elastin and clear acne skin conditions. The VI Peel can also reverse the effects of sun damage and can be used to help acne problems in patients as young as 12. The VI peel is painless and quick taking only about 20 minutes to perform. Healing time is approximately one week, with no down time.
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Restylane®- Lasts 6-7 months. If an additional injection is given it can last up to 18 months. Approved by the FDA, Restylane is a cosmetic dermal filler that replaces lost volume and restores youthful contours to the skin and smoothes away moderate to severe facial wrinkles and folds. Restylane has been used in over 1.4 million treatments in the US, and is available in more than 70 countries. Perlane® is often used in harmony with Restylane; the hyaluronic acid in both products is made by the same biotechnical process. The difference is the gel particle size. Perlane gel has larger particles and is designed for deeper wrinkle injections than Restylane.
the treatment. Treatments take approximately 30 minutes, so it can be done during your lunch hour and you can go back to work with no telltale signs that you had such a procedure, except for how amazing you will look.
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Botox®- In use cosmetically for over 15 years. It is approved in more than 75 countries. Side effects include headaches, respiratory infections, flu like symptoms, temporary eyelid droop, facial asymmetry and nausea. The difference between Botox and other fillers is that other fillers mask the wrinkles by adding volume around the muscle with intradermal injections. Botox is intramuscular, blocking the chemicals that cause facial muscles to contract, thereby relaxing them. For the past 3 years Botox was the most popular physician administered cosmetic procedure in the U.S. Botox is minimally invasive and quick, taking only 10 minutes to administer with minimal discomfort and minimal or no bruising.
Now that you are armed with information on available treatments take some time to discuss your options with your plastic surgeon and select the one or more of the above treatments, which will give you the results you desire at a cost that you can afford.
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For more information on any of these procedures contact: Dr. Stuart B. Kincaid, MD, FACS Board Certified Plastic Surgeon 858.450.4199 www.SkincaidMD.com, email: skincaidmd@aol.com
Some Shocking News We all know that online dating sites can be a great place to connect with local singles, but surprisingly it isn’t only the singles who are searching for these connections. Recent reports confirmed that married people are nearly six times as likely as singles to visit online dating sites to find a new mate. The theory for these growing numbers is that married people, unhappy with their current partner, are more likely to finally put an end to the marriage if they can find an attractive replacement. So single ladies, beware while trolling these sites, as you may end up getting more than you bargained for.
Beware!!! Save your home scams!!! Many San Diegans are currently in fear of losing their homes and in their desperation are searching for ways to get help and prevent going through foreclosure. Unfortunately, we have come across an entire army of scam artists who are targeting these desperate individuals in our community. The latest band of predators are called Loan Modification companies and they are springing up everywhere. There are some reputable ones whose main purpose is to renegotiate your loan and help you from losing your home, but there are also many more bogus companies who are preying upon the fears of our neighbors. We have interviewed expert loan officers, attorney’s, Realtors and Financial Advisors who warn us to be extremely cautious when signing on with one of these firms.
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On our website we have a list of red flags and real life horror stories for you to read carefully. We have already heard from several of our readers who have been solicited by phone, told to fill out forms by fax, and wire the fees of thousands of dollars for these phony services only to find that the company was a phantom. Office addresses given were empty offices or simply phony addresses that never existed. Another prevalent scam is to ask for a fee of $3500 or more, but request an upfront payment of a $1000 and you pay the rest when they save your home. But they keep the grand and never do anything more and you end up losing your home. The hook is they say they can’t survive on $1000 so they have to be successful to get the balance of the fee. We can’t tell you how many variations on this theme there are. Here is how we can be proactive to help you. Before signing any contract or paying any fees visit our website at www.sandiegowoman.com/finances or email finances@sandiegowoman.com for a listing of red flags and stories to review BEFORE you hire a loan modification firm. If what they promise seems too good to be true it probably is! We would also like to hear from you. Tell us your stories, good or bad, so we can identify the good guys as well as the bad guys. Write us at finances@sandiegowoman. com. As Ben Franklin said “If we don’t hang together, we will surely hang separately. " Issue 1, 2009
The first annual “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” event sponsored by YWCA of San Diego County took place back in October. The YWCA’s Walk a Mile fundraiser was part of October’s National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The event was a light-hearted approach to a very serious subject while increasing awareness of how domestic violence impacts individuals and families. We sent our photographer out to capture our San Diego men who were man enough to put on women’s shoes and literally “Walk a mile in our shoes” This symbolic Walk a Mile event
San Diego
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San Diego Men Come Out in Heels to Support Survivors of Domestic Violence brought the community together to support Domestic Violence awareness and raise funds to support the YWCA’s local programs that provide services to women, children and families. Proceeds from the event benefitted San Diego’s women and children who are survivors of domestic violence and homelessness. Programs include Becky’s House Domestic Violence Shelters, PASSAGES Homeless Program for Women, Cortez Hill Family Center, and My Sister's Closet Retail Store. The event was a tremendous success. San Diego Woman would like to thank all those men who made a statement and made a difference.
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Issue 1, 2009
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Bitchin’ & Moaning Tabloid Terrorism
Okay, I admit it, I am a tabloid junkie. Part of it is an occupational hazard: I love magazines of all kinds. I am as likely to pick up a Time magazine as I am a People magazine. I don’t only read them, I study them. I look at the advertisers, I look at the design and layout, and of course I look at the content. I have picked up magazines while waiting for a haircut that took me until page 107 before there was any editorial content at all. Part of me is envious due to the high incomes these magazines must be receiving. The other part is appalled that a magazine would have its readers ruffle through 107 pages of advertising before they get anything to read. No matter what town I am in, or what neighborhood, my first impulse is to find the local newspaper and magazine to keep abreast of what is going on around me. I do suppose butchers are very cognoscente of the steaks they are served at restaurants, and hairstylists can’t help but comment on the hairdos of those they meet, so for a magazine publisher to read every magazine she comes in contact with appears somewhat normal. At least that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it! It has happened though, something I feared over the years: I have become an addict. What am I addicted to? Magazines in general, tabloids to be specific. My trip to the supermarket is not complete unless I pick up one of these magazines. I think it is the headlines that attract my attention, or perhaps the desire to find out how the publishers could have the sheer audacity to print such obvious lies. When you stand there and read about the hottest stars on two different magazines and on one they are on the brink of divorce, while on the other they are suggesting that a baby bump is visible and they are happily awaiting their love child. So which is it? Oh, Issue 1, 2009
By Judith A. Habert
and while I am on this topic, have you seen what they are referring to as a baby bump these days? If a Hollywood starlet has internal organs it is suggested that she is in a family way. The obvious arrow that they point at the tiny non-existent bump is supposed to make you see something that is not there. I have stared at the bump and studied it like a Rorschach test, but to no avail. There is nothing there! Okay, so the lies do bother me and in many cases they have terrorized my children. I can remember my oldest daughter who was about 5 at the time, staring up at a tabloid at the newsstand which claimed in large green letters, “Eating too many vegetables makes girl turn green” It took me months to get her to consume a single green vegetable again. One of my other favorites was when a famous politician’s wife was accused of carrying on an illicit affair with an alien. I must admit things have calmed down a bit and I rarely see the alien or green people on the tabloid covers these days, but the ones with conflicting reports about celebrity love lives continue to thrive. Yet, I continue to buy them. I continue to read about every celebrity marriage, love affair or baby. Whose dress looked best at the Golden Globes, what designers did they wear and what were they thinking? I know a lot of it, or I correct myself, most of it is fabricated, but yet I continue reading. So I have concluded that it is truly tabloid terrorism which focuses on the fear to not be totally informed about everyone who is famous. What diet are they on, how do they stay so slim and what exercises they do is never far from my consciousness. They have taken control of me and I fear I may never pass through the supermarket lines again without a tabloid in hand. I suppose as long as I know that what is on the pages of these tabloids isn’t all true I am okay to continue with my addiction without making apologies. I guess it could be worse. My career related addiction could be a lot more uncomfortable if I was a funeral director.
Ask an Angel Improving our memories – We all age, but is losing our memory a foregone conclusion? Question: Help…! I’m only 48 years old and just yesterday forgot my home phone number! Am I in the throes of memory loss and is this an early sign of Alzheimer’s? Answer: When we're young, we rarely think about getting old and the effects aging has on our bodies. Yet, when we are around 40 to 50 years old, we are, at times, painfully aware of those effects (such as joints aching, sleep disturbances, needing to use reading glasses, etc). Nothing in the aging process seems more upsetting to us and our families than the loss of memory. Most people immediately think of Alzheimer's disease when an aging family member begins to show signs of memory problems. However, most memory related issues are not precursors to Alzheimer's nor are they untreatable. More and more research is pointing to the fact that memory issues are part of the normal aging process. As part of that process, memory issues can be slowed down in the same manner that other health related issues are treated. For example, some memory related problems are a result of a decreased flow of blood to the brain (and to some degree, a loss of brain cells). This reduction in blood flow is often attributed to generalized poor circulation that is connected to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, hypertension, etc. We all know that we should be taking better care of ourselves. If we are able to maintain good overall health, this will then lead to better memory function. Below is a brief list of the areas most often connected to maintaining or improving your general health, but specifically to maintaining your memory: 1. Improving your diet. Having a low calorie with high fiber diet has been shown to improve, or ward off, mental decline. Coupled with a strong regiment of proper vitamins, overall health can be maintained or improved. 2. Keep bad cholesterol levels down. 3. Don't smoke. 4. Don't drink to excess. 5. Exercise regularly. 6. Continue to stimulate your brain, through games, formal/ informal learning, etc. 7. Stay active, not only physically, but socially. The bottom line is to keep your brain active. The more you use your brain, the stronger it gets. Remember (pun intended) when we thought as we age we lose more and more brain cells, with no chance of growing new ones? Well, our brains actually continue to grow new neurons. This allows us, even in the midst of the aging process, to learn new things, to adapt new processes of handling old problems, and to stay mentally sharp well into old age. Yes, it's true that we do lose some of our mental abilities,
such as the ability to multi-task (20 year olds are the best at multi-tasking). However, if we continue to stimulate ourselves through new learning and taking care of our bodies, we should only experience "normal forgetfulness." Examples of normal forgetfulness might include: occasionally forgetting an appointment, some simple distractions during conversations, somewhat slower in retrieving information, and forgetting where you left something.
Most memory loss has little effect on our daily lives and is easily managed. The key is to ward off the possible effects of old age on memory through judicious use of exercise, good dietary habits, stimulation of the brain through new learning (even trying to write with the opposite hand can stimulate the brain), and keeping your stress down. We all age, but losing our memory need not be a foregone conclusion. Is it time to put the brakes on and hang up the keys? Question: What can I, as a family member or friend, do if I am concerned about the driving ability and safety of someone older who continues to drive? Answer: First, recognize that driving is very important as it is our primary means of getting around. Second, if there are other family members or friends available, talk with them to see if they have made some of the same observations and discuss how you maybe able to help the driver. It is best to maintain a sense of trust in your relationship, being honest and persistent. Encourage the person to make a decision to reduce or stop driving as appropriate. Be aware that persons who lose the privilege of driving often feel lonely or anxious because they have fewer opportunities to be with friends or involved in activities. If the person will not listen to reason, you may want to discuss the problem with their doctor to find out if there are any medical reasons that should be reported. • Most metro areas have alternative means available, if you qualify, and these services can be located within your community phonebook. (i.e., I.T.N. San Diego) • Offer to drive instead of the elder person. • Suggest that the older driver always have someone go with them. • Attempt to avoid driving at night or under the influence of any serious mood altering medications. • Attempt to avoid major highway/expressways. Use home deliveries if possible. • If required, disable the car (i.e., take the distributor cord, or disconnect the battery). Remember that many older drivers have been driving for well over fifty years. They have had that privilege and few have abused it. To take that privilege away is yet another sign to them that they are getting older and unable to care for themselves. Expect that they will have difficulty handling such a loss. Be supportive. Talk to them. Try to make some compromises and simply be there for them when the need your support. Whether you are a caregiver helping your care recipient or you are a family member dealing with mom or dad… your love, your support, your understanding, and your ability to be flexible will help everyone get through this difficult time.
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
A guide for family, friends and loved ones in preparing for the effects of the growing elder population …a Public Service from “Those Who Care”
Provided by Visiting Angels America’s Choice in Homecare!™
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Traveling With Teens SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Those of you who’ve been reading “Traveling with Teens” since its inception know that I occasionally wax philosophical instead of discussing a specific travel destination. I’ve been known to espouse my philosophies on independence, trip failures, and electronic teensitters. Similarly, this month’s column will not take you to some exotic location with your teenager, but it may help you afford your next trip in today’s tough economic times. Before you head off on another trip with your teen I want to discuss a topic that is near and dear to all of us: Money! For most families, there’s just never enough of it. And this shortage can really take a toll on your vacation— maybe even cancel it. With airfare (especially if you splurge and take along a suitcase or two) and every other travel expense rocketing into the stratosphere, your family’s vacation budget is probably stretched thin. Let’s face it: Teens are expensive. Am I preachin’ to the choir? Take that money-pit teenager on a trip, and the problem is magnified. More money for food, higher priced entertainment, separate hotel rooms. Yikes! Where does it end? The extra costs can easily get out of control; but, on the other hand, saying no too often can be a real buzzkill for both parent and teen. So, how do you provide the money for your teenager’s vacation pleasures while keeping a lid on it? Simple. You make them responsible for it. Okay, so maybe it’s not that simple, but consider this the foundation for the Issue 1, 2009
By Diane Garner (travelingwithteens@cox.net)
“Show me the money” philosophy. Does this scenario sound familiar? You’re at the mall with your teen. He wants to buy a video game. If you agree to buy the game, it’s a done deal. However, if you refuse to buy it and suggest that the teen buy it himself, there’s a strong possibility he’ll change his mind about how badly he wants the game. A teenager is always more reluctant to spend his money than yours.
parents! You’re still on the hook for the big stuff.
This same reluctance will apply to a Vacation Allowance. All those snacks, rides, and souvenirs that were necessities when purchased by the parents, now become nonessentials if the teen has to pay for them. Obviously, I’m referring to discretionary spending. Sorry,
The good news is that you’ve put your teenager on a budget. She must decide how to spend the money you’ve given her. Warning: Parents must be strong to resist the pleas for more money when the initial wad has been spent. Be prepared for major teen ATTITUDE! Determining the amount and timing of the Vacation Allowance is a very personal thing. Parents must decide what amount fits into the overall vacation budget. And timing can be tricky. If you have a teen with a great deal of self-control and money management sense, an allowance given up front for the entire trip may be appropriate. On the other hand, a less restrained teen may have difficulty managing even a daily allowance.
There are many benefits to the Vacation Allowance. One is a sense of independence. The teen doesn’t have to ask her parents every time she wants to buy something; she can decide for herself. Second, many ATTITUDE-generating disagreements between parent and teen can be avoided. You don’t have to sweat the small stuff. Third, you’ll save money. Bingo!
be personalized for your family. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to money or teenagers. As you struggle with the process, keep the goal in mind: To control your teen’s spending to help make a vacation affordable for the whole family. Besides, isn’t it time your teen quit being a bottomless money pit? So, until next time, keep traveling with your teens! P. S. I would love to hear from you, at the above e-mail address, about all of your travel experiences with your teens. Give me some helpful tips to pass along to other parents of teens. Tell me about your best trip and your worst, but especially explain why the trips turned out that way. Tell me your ideas, gimmicks, threats, punishments, or anything that might help the poor parent who is dreading a family trip with a teenager. Together, we may save a parent’s sanity!
Now, it’s time to take pencil to paper and come up with the amount of the Vacation Allowance. First, you’ll need to determine your overall vacation budget. What!?! You don’t have one. Shame on you! Get busy and figure out how much you can afford to spend. After deducting the estimated fixed costs (hotel, airfare, rental car, etc.) from the total available, you have the pool of money left for variables like meals, entertainment, and gasoline. Make an educated guess at those. Guess high. Got any money left over? Good for you! Think about the things you’ll expect your teen to pay for and determine how much of a Vacation Allowance you can afford to give him from the remaining funds. That wasn’t too painful, now was it?
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A complication may arise if your teen or one of your teens has money available from some other source (e.g. parttime job, babysitting, gifts, etc.). I don’t believe in penalizing someone who, through her efforts, is in a better financial position. What I mean is if your teenager has earned money to spend on the trip, do not give her less than your teen who has not been industrious. You may need to temper this approach for a variety of reasons (e.g. if one teen is 19 and the other 13). But I’m sure you get the idea. The teen who worked and saved should not be penalized by receiving less parent money to spend than the teen who sat on his butt all year and hasn’t a penny to his name. Okay, stepping down from my soapbox…
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This process takes practice. The first time you plan to use the “Show me the money” philosophy, I suggest that you sit down as a family and discuss how the Vacation Allowance will work. Expect resistance. Remember, it’s so much easier to have Mom and Dad pay for everything. Consider asking each teen to submit a written request for his allowance. Depending on how formal you want to make this, you could ask for details. Something like: $ for snacks, $ for souvenirs, $ for entertainment. Compare the teen’s request to the amount you’ve calculated and determine an acceptable compromise. Of course, all of this has to Issue 1, 2009
He Said,She Said "Does my butt look big?" By Robert Tussey & Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K. Miller
Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between "them" and "us". Read this month's installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to communicating with each other. What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can't wait to hear from you! From the beginning of time men have been burdened with the unanswerable questions posed by the female in our life. Be it girlfriend, wife, or partner, there has always been the no-win query and the price to pay - forever. You know, “Do these pants make my butt look too big?” Or, “How do you like my hair this way?” Here’s another death trap, “Do you think she’s pretty?” I can tell you that without
Here’s the scenario, you say, “Do these pants make my butt look too big?” We say, “Honey, you look good in everything you wear.” You say, “So you say it looks Big?!!!!” We say, “No, I didn’t say that. I said you look good in your clothes.” You say, “So, you’re lying to me?” We say, “No, honey, I think you look fine.” It goes downhill from here, once you’ve heard the word ‘fine.’ There is no definition in the dictionary for how a woman can say ‘fine.’
exception every man who has survived trying to answer any of the aforementioned questions, he protects himself mightily with verbal deflections or football. You know these are traps and yet you continue to lob them onto our side of the court as if the answer would somehow be pleasing and right at the same time. I refer to the time-worn maxim; insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. There are no correct answers. If you have to ask if an article of clothing makes a body part look too big or too small you already know the answer! Why involve us? Men are simple. We’re the bottom rung on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Food, water, air, shelter, love, and sex. We’re (mostly) that simple. Hear me out. Rhetorical questions never beg the question. Once more: Rhetorical questions never beg the question. By asking us something so loaded what can you possible expect? Our questions are succinct and to the point: What’s for dinner? If you like that car let’s go buy it. Would you marry me? See what I mean.
I have tried the honest route. The monetary cost of truth grows exponentially on the route to your forgiveness. Flowers. Diamonds and jewelry. Dinner. Vacations. Having Mom stay with us for a month. The gist of this is simple: Just tell us what you want! What version of the truth do you want to hear? You say we don’t communicate enough and open up, well guess why. It’s like a minefield every time we enter the abyss of any sentence that starts with, “Honey, does…” give us a break. Oh, you trip us up too. Once in a while you sneak in a truly simple question, one that doesn’t require the armor. “Hey, hon, I’m going to pick up Chinese for dinner tonight, do you want Won Ton?” We go into defense mode, radar running, seeking the pot hole we’re about to trip over. But you’ve hit us with the basic, bottom rung question and we instinctively answer. And before you get home with the goods, we’re cowering in the corner waiting for the inevitable, “you know, if you didn’t want Chinese why didn’t you just say so?” Here we go again.
He Said...
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Issue 1, 2009
She Said...
want to have a conversation. Perhaps, these are the times when we can no longer deal with the grunts that come from the couch in response to our reliving of the day’s events. Are you really that uninterested in hearing about our day, or is it that no matter what we say you would not have interest: That when you arrive home you consider it as your time to relax, kick back and be left alone? See, things are different with women. We blast through the door from work and start on job number two, or is it three? We converse with the kids, help with homework while defrosting dinner, and answer myriad questions which usually start with the infamous one that I am often met with before I have even put down my computer bag, “What’s for dinner?” Perhaps we should try sitting on the couch, remote in hand and grunt in response to all of the questions thrown at us. Somehow I don’t think the men out there would think that was “fine”
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Ok, obviously someone doesn’t truly understand women. Of course we are going to ask you if these pants make us look fat, because no matter how thin a woman is she needs constant reassurance. Why you may ask? Maybe, because every magazine, TV and movie is full of painfully skinny actresses who are always on a diet. Men are not faced with the same unreasonable expectations. Let’s face it when it comes down to it, men are just as insecure as women - only over different issues. No you never ask us if your butt looks big in your trousers, but you do ask other more intimate and serious questions. After a stellar performance on your part, do you not pose the question “How was it?” And let’s face it; do you want to know the truth anymore than we want to know if our butts look big? Probably not, so don’t point out women as being the only ones that pray for kindness and hope that you will tell us the truth we want to hear. And getting back to the word “fine.” Would you want our response to be “fine” to the above mentioned question? Fine is a word that needs to be removed from the
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English Dictionary and should only be used when referring to China or Dining, but definitely not as an adjective about how we look in our butt slimming pants. Men are definitely simpler creatures to understand as you generally wear your hearts on your sleeves. It does seem to be that men are more straight forward (or is the word tactless) than women. As long as your basic needs are met, you tend to be happy. So perhaps women are more complex. Is that really a problem? As a wise woman recently said, “If we all sang the same note, there would be no harmony.” So different can be good, and should not be scorned upon. There are times when we want a straight forward answer from you; there are even times when we just Issue 1, 2009
Fight for Equal Pay For Women The Paycheck Fairness Act, an act introduced by Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and Representative Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) was overwhelmingly passed by the House last July and is now awaiting passage in the Senate. It is a bill to help put an end to workplace inequality based on gender. Forty five years ago President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act (EPA) into law, which made it illegal to pay unequal wages to men and women who perform substantially equal work. In 1963, at the time that the act was passed, women earned merely 59 cents to every dollar earned by men. Things have improved over the years with the help of this law, but still today on average women earn 78 cents for every dollar earned by men. San Diego Women can show their support for passage of this important bill by writing your senator. Visit http://senate.gov and help make a difference by putting an end to discrimination in wages for women.
32 Make A Difference in Your Office Plan an employee appreciation day. Show your employees how much you appreciate them with the “Images of Style� program, rewarding busy professionals for their hard work. Maximize productivity through increased self-confidence and self-image. Call today to arrange for a FREE Day of Appreciation for your employees. For more information call or email: Sallie Kay Brown 619 669-6554 619 246 6139
email: salliekay@marykay.com www.marykay.com/salliekay
Issue 1, 2009
Key Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” Dr. Penny Michelle Goffman is a clinical psychologist in San Diego providing individual, couple, family therapy, coaching and high conflict mediation. Please send your relationship questions to: drpenny@sandiegowoman.com. When you are dating the man of your dreams, everything about him may seem great. In fact, when you are madly in love few things can spoil his good looks, college education, and promising career. But, before you make your way down the aisle, there are plenty of issues to discuss with the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Ask yourself these questions before you say “I do” and really get to know your mate: 1. Can you discuss your personal strengths and weaknesses with one another? 2. Can you express your feelings and needs when you are hurting? Does he listen to you and try to understand you? 3. Do you avoid serious discussions because you are worried what your fiancé might think of you? Or, are you fearful of appearing vulnerable to him? 4. How do you disagree? Does he ever apologize first? During an argument, does he share his feelings or leave the room? Are either of you more concerned with being right then working on solutions together? 5. What is his philosophy regarding money? Is he a saver or a spender? Does he use money to control you? (E.g. Providing you with a small allowance and having you defend your purchases?) 6. Who will do the bookkeeping in the family? Who will pay the bills? Who is best equipped to handle money matters? 7. How does he feel about spending money on friends and family members? 8. How does he feel about spending money on clothing, entertainment, vacations, and furnishings? 9. Will money be kept separately or jointly? Will you pay your expenses and he pay his? 10. If a family member suddenly needs financial assistance, would he offer to pitch in? Or, would this request set-off a heated debate? 11. How does he treat his father, mother, brother or sister? 12. How does he feel about household duties? Would he do household chores with you? How would you encourage or remind him to help around the house? 13. Is he a planner or does he love spontaneity? How will this style affect events like birthday celebrations, and gift-giving? How do you plan on sharing your preferences without hurting his feelings? 14. How will holidays be celebrated? Would you alternate family celebrations? For blended families, how would you spend holidays that require visits with multiple parental sets? 15. If you and your fiancé are of different religious backgrounds, would each of you attend the other’s services in addition to your own? How would your choice of reli-
gious practice affect the relationship with one another’s families? Whose faith would be followed if and when you decide to have children? 16. Speaking of children…Do you both eventually want a child or children? Would one of you stay home? Who would you want to care for your children if both parents choose to work? How does he view discipline for children? What are your hopes and dreams for your children when it comes to talents, abilities, and education? 17. How will each of you make time for friends? How does he feel about Boys’ Night Out or Girls´ Night Out? Would it be one night during the week or more? 18. How do your hobbies match up? What are your ideas about how to spend free time? 19. How will you spend couple-time? Would you have a special date day? 20. How flexible or inflexible is your fiancé? Do you have to compromise often? 21. Any history of addiction in the family? Gambling? Alcohol? 22. Is his temperament consistent? Does he have bouts of anger or changes in personality? Are there any substances, prescribed or otherwise, that alter his disposition? Remember that unfulfilled expectations can set you up for hurt, resentment and many sleepless nights. Instead, use your months of wedding planning to touch on issues that you feel are vital to your relationship. Listen intently to one another and note which points of discussion are hot buttons or sources of indifference for your man. Of course, there are no right or wrong answers to the questions listed here. But, the answers need to be discussed so that the two of you can have realistic expectations about your newly married life. To make the journey of marriage successful, know why you are getting married and recognize that being married is very different from just living together. If you don’t address and deal with the many myths of marriage and each other’s expectations, they can tear you apart. Interfaith and intercultural marriages have their own set of unique challenges that need to be identified, understood, and sensitively dealt with. Maintaining a healthy marriage is a life-long process. A sexy, exciting marriage doesn’t just happen. You need to work on it and express and show your love and respect for each other, daily.
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
Ask Dr. Penny
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The Wine Connoisseur
CHARDONNAY By Deborah Damery Lazear, CSW
It was a dark and stormy night. The revelers were inside tasting wine and staying dry. Laughter and the sound of “oh, mocha” or “this wine has gone through serious oak” floated through the air. Suddenly the door blew open and a stranger stepped in. He strode purposely to the wine bar. The server stepped hesitantly towards the stranger and asked in a small voice “Which of our wines would you like to taste? I can recommend the Merlot.” The stranger narrowed his eyes and growled “ABC”. A gasp was heard throughout the tasting room “Anything But Chardonnay”. Didn’t he know? No joke! So much Chardonnay had entered the marketplace overoaked and blowsy that many of us turned away, leaving the noble grape for Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Gris (aka Pinot Grigio), and Viognier to satisfy our white wine desires. Well, I am here to tell you that Chardonnay deserves much better treatment than that. Chardonnay is one of the noble grapes “vitis vinifera”. It ranks up there with Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon. The grape can be a light to mediumbodied white with crisp acidity and subtle flavors or a full-bodied white with complexity and richness. Society of Wine Educators describes Chardonnay as “all about winemaking”. The grape is neutral in flavor and aroma, marked by simple green apple and mineral notes. Winemakers can influence its flavor through several wine making practices such as fermenting in oak barrels or the addition of oak chips that are much cheaper than a barrel. Oak gives that butter popcorn and vanilla flavors that we often pick up with a glass of Chardonnay.
means that Chardonnay can be grown just about anywhere. That doesn’t mean it is at its best anywhere! Some of the words often used to describe the flavor and aroma of Chardonnay are flint, stone, lemon, cantaloupe, peach, pineapple, banana, butter, caramel, green apple, pears, honey, ginger, vanilla, oak, butterscotch, nutmeg. Note that New World (US, Australia, Chile, for example) Chardonnay is often the most full bodied with the butterscotch, vanilla, and nut flavors. The fruits associated with New World are tropical, apple pie, burnt sugar, vanilla, ginger, nutmeg, and lots of oak, with low acid and is short lived. Old World (France, for example) Chardonnay is more subtle with higher acid and green apples, stone, and flint tones. Old World wines are longer lived; you can keep them 10 years plus. They see very little wood during their winemaking cycle.
While the differences mentioned above are general and note true in every case, they can be helpful in finding your style. Here are some of the areas of the world that make wonderful Chardonnay, all in different styles. Find out the style you like and shop the world! Burgundy is the birth place of great Chardonnay, in my humble opinion. It is easy to think that wine from Burgundy is only red, made from the Pinot Noir. Now you know that Burgundy is also white, only from the Chardonnay grape. There are laws in Burgundy that dictate the variety of grapes allowed to be grown there. The major winemaking areas are Chablis, Cote d’Or (especially Cote de Beaune), and Maconnais. Did you know that, not counting Beaujolais, 60% of DNA analysis places Chardonnay as an offspring of the Burgundy’s wine is white! It is important to recognize that Pinot family and Goulais Blanc. It is indigenous to Burgundy, Chablis from France has nothing to do with Chablis from France. It performs to its best in limestone soil and cool any other place, including the United States. French Chablis climates but is such an adaptive grape that it can survive is 100% Chardonnay, rich, complex, with a fine aroma and anywhere. It buds early so is susceptible to frost yet it ripens mineral finesse. California Chablis is not any of the afore early so can be picked before autumn cold rains. All this mentioned! Beware! Issue 1, 2009
a Maritime climate. The Willamette Valley and the Umpqua Valley grow great Chardonnay. The flavors are pure and rich and very Burgundian. I was in heaven during my recent visit and tasting. I am writing this article in Dallas and it is therefore fitting that I comment on the Texas Chardonnay. The Texas Hill Country in the Lone State makes a very flavorable, sassy Chardonnay near Fredericksburg at the Grape Creek and Fall Creek wineries. My favorite of the tasting came from Becker. If you are passing through DFW Airport, they have a great Texas wine bar to taste the local wines. Great fun! New Zealand is renowned for its Sauvignon Blanc but it also holds its own with its Chardonnay. Search for Kumeu River and its Burgundian style offering. Also, Marlborough in the top of the South Island makes a small quantity of mineral driven Chardonnay. Australia has buckets of wine from many varietals and Chardonnay is among them. Their Chardonnays are frequently in screw cap bottles, preserving the freshness in the bottle. Victoria and Tasmania are cool regions so look for wines from there. South Africa’s Walker Bay has a maritime climate perfect for Chardonnay. This area is in the Overberg District. Stellenbosch, always with a high reputation, has a great Chardonnay from Mulderbosch boasting high acidity, pear, fig, pineapple and papaya. Also look for Chardonnay from the Western Cape area. Chile, our home of fabulous Carmeniere, shows wonderful Chardonnay in its Aconcagua Region - especially Casablanca. How romantic! Casablanca is near the coast and the cool fog retains Chardonnays acidity. Neighboring Argentina is not a big producer of Chardonnay but it does have some worth seeking out. Mendoza region is your best bet. The Mendoza clone was developed at UC Davis. Italy has a little share of the Chardonnay market. It does well in the Eastern hilly region of Franciacorta, Lombardy, an area famous for sparkling wines. Also, the Trentino-Alto Adige makes a super Chardonnay. Finally, the Veneto has cultivated Chardonnay and is worth searching out. Greece has also thrown its hat in the ring. Chardonnay is one of five international varietals grown here. I haven’t had a chance to try any yet, so if you do, drop me a line. Global warming is having its influence on Chardonnay; or at least that is part of the reason that England is emerging as a “watch out for” area for sparkling wine. Kent, Sussex, Dorset…these are all names of places to visit and keep an eye on. The soil is chalky and the famous winemaker and consultant Michel Laroche, from Chablis, has declared it most suitable for Chardonnay. Also of note is Slovenia with a Trockenbeerenauslase Chardonnay (read dessert wine), from the Austrian influenced area. West Slovenia is Mediterranean in climate and delivers an intense Chardonnay. Baja, Mexico in the Guadalupe Valley, Israel’s Judean Hills, and Grace Vineyard in China round out our world tour. In summary, Chardonnay is a true world traveler and a great companion. Try it again for the first time!
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
Champagne is another region that elevates Chardonnay to the highest heights. You may recall from my previous article that Blanc de Blanc Champagne is made from Chardonnay. We may be getting more access to Champagne if the National de l’Appellation d’Origine has its way in enlarging the designated land available to grow grapes to be made into Champagne. The United States has many viticultural areas that grow Chardonnay grapes. Let’s look at a few states that offer readily available bottles in our retail stores. California is a major contributor to our best Chardonnay. . It is reported that there are over 100,000 acres of vineyards dedicated to Chardonnay in California alone! Taking into account that Chardonnay does its best work in cool climates, it comes as no surprise that Carneros, the coolest part of Napa County, makes legendary Chardonnay. Sonoma County is perhaps the best known region with the cooling effects of the Pacific Ocean fog bringing the night time temperatures down to around 50 degrees F. This preserves the grape’s acid levels, making the wine very food friendly and crisp on the palate. Remember that squeeze of lemon on your fish? Also look for Chalk Hill Chardonnay, located on the eastern side of the Russian River Valley for a fresh, clean, citrus laced wine. Knight’s Valley and the Alexander Valley offer a fuller bodied Chardonnay. In the Mendocino County, the Anderson Valley makes memorable Chardonnay. The Central Coast, especially the Santa Lucia Highlands in Monterey County, produces elegant Chardonnay. There are so many wonderful, carefully made wines to choose from! My only recommendation would be to avoid the warm areas for your Chardonnay source. Read the back label searching for information on how long the wine was placed in oak or had oak chips added. If it is crisp, Old World style you are looking for, the kind that goes well with food, avoid too much oak and the warmer climates. Washington State “goes from strength to strength”, says Wine Spectator. The Chardonnay has a natural acidity and just enough fruit to make them irresistible. Look for Owen Roe Yakima Valley and anything from Horse Heaven Hills. Surprise! Kentucky! The home of bourbon also makes great Chardonnay thanks in part to a cigarette company’s settlement that pays farmers to rip out tobacco and plant grape vines! New York! New York! I am referring to the State of course. I have heard lots of disparaging remarks recently about New York State wine. I am here to tell you “not so”. Yes, the weather limits the varietals but Chardonnay is one that works quite well. The New York Wine & Grape Foundation is committed to the noble vinifera grapes. North Fork in the Long Island area is home to 33 wineries and is the warmest wine region in NY State. The grapes don’t have the body for lots of oak and are frequently fermented in steel. Upstate New York, with the Finger Lakes wine industry, boasts Fox Run Chardonnay, clearly its best. The majority are Chablis style with pear and apple notes. The Hudson Valley has two wine trails, one on each side of the river. The weather is the most difficult of the three NY wine regions. Look for Millbrook Chardonnay for the successful results of their struggle. Oregon, my personal Pinot Noir favorite, also makes stunning Chardonnay. That should be no surprise to lovers of Burgundy. The two varietals grow together so well. The summers in Oregon are wet and the vineyards are impacted by
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I Don’t Want to Deal With It By Donna Hulme
Like most little kids, certain things used to scare me. Not just Grimm’s Fairy Tales or big brothers jumping out to shout, “Boo!”, but rather the complete gamut of shriek inspiring events. I didn’t like going outside alone at night. If I heard a noise in the night I would tuck down further under the covers, convinced that whatever danger was associated with the noise couldn’t see me since I couldn’t see them when I was safely under my blankets. I much preferred the light of day over the night time. The teen years hit and the night time was the right time. Parties with friends, dates with boyfriends, football games, and dances all were more fun in the evening. Forget about being
scared by noises that went bump in the night, I was probably the one now making the noises, trying to be quiet when I came home just before curfew. The light of day was something that was greeted with a squinting eye and a plea for just five more minutes of sleep. This time I pulled covers over my head to block out whatever was preventing me from getting the precious moments of sleep. Eventually marriage and children came along. With the increase of family size, the house size increased too. We went from a cozy single story to a huge two story. Anytime we heard a noise in the house, somehow I was always the point person - with my husband close behind. Maybe I was assigned the lead because I was just more than a little perturbed that someone would have the audacity to disturb our sleep and break into our house. My house was broken into, not at night, but during the day while I was at work. The burglars did make a total mess, and ransacked the whole house. After that, I was ready to throttle anyone who dared violate my cleanliness standards. As time has progressed, I find the little noises that a house makes at night don’t bother me anymore. In fact, I recently heard a rather loud crash in the middle of the night. My roomie was out and there really shouldn’t have been anyone around. I opened a tired eye, decided it was too cold and I was too tired to get out of bed. I decided I just didn’t want to deal with it. I listened for a bit longer, then, saw a light shining in a room on the other side of the house. I guess roomie came home after all. I did text her to make sure it was she in her room. She texted an apology back for waking me. Most burglars wouldn’t do that, so I went back to sleep. God bless cell phones. I am so glad I am older and wiser now. Staying tucked deep down in the covers is nice. Not to hide from fear as when I was a little kid, it is just nice and warm and I love sleeping in just nice and warm and I love sleeping in.
Issue 1, 2009
Lasso the Workplace Bull-y By Catherine Mattice, MA or privacy where everyone could hear. Kate had to make a choice. She could ignore the email or write an apology; but then she would be a victim again. Or she could stand up for herself. So Kate decided to deliver confidence up on a silver platter. She clicked Reply to All, acknowledged (but did not apologize for) her mistake, provided several options for solution, and advised she was free to discuss them further in private. Within seconds of hitting Send, her boss’ office door flew open; he marched straight over to her, and said, “Fantastic email Kate! Way to put the hammer down!” Kate demonstrated faith in herself despite the mistake, and this develops through repetitive affirmation. If you attend church, for example, there’s a good chance your faith is nurtured each time you go. The more information you receive, the more your certainty is confirmed. If you stop going to church, loss in faith may result. The same happens when we stop believing in ourselves. So head to the Church of You each morning and stand in front of the mirror to shout your personal affirmations (“I am terrific! I am great at my job! I will overcome the bully! I am not a helpless victim!”). The more you say it, the more you feel it; the more you feel it, the more you believe it; the more you believe it, the greater your courage becomes; the greater your courage becomes, the closer you are to lassoing the bully.
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
Day in and day out, the bully Kate worked with attempted to micromanage her and turn the boss against her. He picked fights, harassed, and yelled at her. Kate’s mental health declined under the stress and her anxiety increased almost daily. After five years of abuse Kate placed a tattered piece of paper above her alarm clock with the words “Get up! Get up! Get up!” written in blue highlighter. It was her only source of inspiration; an ever failing attempt at motivating herself to get out of bed when the alarm went off. Her depression was increasing, as was the number of times she hit the snooze button each morning. Ultimately, she was fired. Her once booming work product and positive attitude had wilted away with her selfconfidence. Research indicates up to 90% of the workforce is bullied. In fact, women are being bullied by men and other women. Women targeted experience anxiety, depression, burnout and a multitude of other bad feelings. As a result, in extreme cases, some even experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Bullying is more damaging than sexual harassment because it occurs under the radar and therefore more frequently. Why? Because corporate policies cover more conspicuous harassment aimed at a protected class such as race, religion, and sexual orientation but often do not cover bullying. Organizations are also much more likely to put a stop to sexual harassment, simply because the law says they have to. But no law exists against workplace bullying. On the day Kate was fired she promised herself she would never be that unhappy again. In her next position work days were happy and even fun, until she made a mistake in her work. Her boss responded by sending a scathing email that he copied to the management team. He even heckled her as he walked by her desk’ this in an office with no cubicle walls
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As you become more confident, the ability to effectively communicate with others, including the bully, naturally follows. Confident speakers take risks and they do it with a grace and passion that reflects in their communication style. The power exuded is a shield against people who may attempt to target them with childish behaviors. Think about the boldness you project when standing with your arms on your hips or down at the side, rather than folded across your chest (a signal of fear or shyness). These slick moves come with courage and belief in yourself, which will also allow you to continue to do your job - and do it well. Keep your productivity high and your work quality at 100%. Do not give the bully any information that could be used to take you down. If your situation is brought before management or Human Resources, be sure the bully cannot say you are lacking in work product and quality. Human Resources can help, but there are a few things you should know before approaching them. Keep in mind they know exactly what you mean if you tell them you feel sexually harassed; but they will need more help from you to understand bullying. Keep a factual journal of behaviors, dates, times, and names of witnesses. And while it may be hard at first, it is important to keep emotions out and save them for your personal journal at home. Create a file and keep
memos, emails, and any other tangibles you collect from the bully to help prove your case. Tell your story with a beginning, middle and end, stick to the facts, and provide very specific details. Ultimately, if the situation does not resolve, do not be afraid to quit and save your dignity. As for Kate, on “game days” as she calls them (those days she knows extra bravery is required), she pulls her hair straight back, pins down the thick bangs that often cover her eyes, puts on one of her brightly colored shirts and slides into her favorite pair of power pumps. With nowhere to hide she has no choice but to be confident, bold and daring all day - sometimes for weeks at a time. You have the ability to change your negative situation. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
38 What Women Really Want “Managing Your Finances Effectively” Join us for a Women’s Workshop Thursday, February 19th 5:30PM to 7:30PM Space is limited, call today for your reservation. Cathie R. Restivo, CFP® Financial Advisor Specializing in inspiring professional women to make smart financial decisions about their money and realize their goals through a values based decision model.
12526 High Bluff Drive, Suite. 280 San Diego, CA 92130 Office (858) 259-6300 Ext: 325 Fax (858) 259-2006 E-mail: cathie.restivo@delmarfp.com Websites: www.delmarfp.com, www.cathierestivo.com CA Insurance License #0C60309 Del Mar Financial Partners, Inc., Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through Securian Financial Services, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. Del Mar Financial Partners, Inc. is independently owned and operated. TR# 41512 DOFU 1/2009
Issue 1, 2009
Did You Know?
Music For Change This year’s political race made history but it also made music. There were so many inspirational songs this year but pop artist Will.i.am leads the pack with these 3 fantastic tunes. Check out these titles, they are definitely worth the download! 1.“It’s A New Day” – this reggae inspired song is an ode to the leaders of the civil rights movement and a promise of a better tomorrow. 2.“America’s Song” – this simplistic ballad was revealed on Oprah and composed by David Foster. It featured Faith Hill, Mary J. Blige, Seal, and Bono.
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3.“Yes, We Can” – this speech turned collaborative song features many stars such as Scarlett Johansson and John Legend singing of the hope for our great nation.
Just like food, makeup has expiration dates, some noted, but most are not. Most women have a draw full of makeup that they go to from time to time for special outfits or events. Experts say that the general rule is that mascara should be tossed after three months, eyeshadow after two years, foundation and lipstick are history after a year, and face powder needs to be dumped after two years. So now you have an excuse to weed through that makeup draw and update your makeup collections. See all news isn’t bad.
39 In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity --- Albert Einstein
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Realtor Marketplace
realtor®, relocation specialist
Cell: 619-252-4422 • Fax: 866-574-8980 craig@craiglevitt.com • www.craiglevitt.com 16969 Bernardo Center Drive • San Diego, CA 92128 Independently owned & operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. DRE #164001307
Issue 1, 2009
Fabulous Finds BARONA’S PRIME RIB AND SHRIMPFEST BUFFET, A WINNING Cupcakes Squared BET
DiRTY ReD
Get Fit In Style With DiRTY ReD Local San Diegan Nicol Akins, marathoner, wife and mother of two created DiRTY ReD, Athletic Wear for Women, a company devoted to fitness and women through its athletic wear, sponsorship of local running events, and in women’s fight against Breast Cancer. The line includes athletic tops and bottoms that can keep pace with the woman on the go. The look is clean with a twist of street flare and the clothes are all made to run, jump, bike or hike in with full support and comfort for active women like Akins. “Life is the ultra marathon,said Akins. “No matter how you approach it, your clothes should
Have you ever had an urge for something different, to satisfy your sweet tooth? Cupcakes Squared is a unique new cupcake store located in Point Loma at 3772 Voltaire Street, San Diego, CA 92107. A true one-of-a-kind item, the cupcakes feature a square design rather than the traditional round muffin-shape. Store owner and baker Robin Ross Wisotsky, explained that she wanted to offer something truly unique. Little did she know that square cupcakes would require extensive research and development. “I thought it would be easy to make a square cupcake,” Wisotsky said, “but I ended up having to design my own cupcake papers, which are made exclusively for me in Europe, and my husband even had to engineer the pans for me because nothing square was available.” Featuring all natural ingredients such as exclusive Hawaiian Vanilla, grown on the Big Island of Hawaii and an exquisite brand of hard-to-find French chocolate, Cupcakes Squared products have no artificial additives. Wisotsky does not use food coloring and instead will feature sprinkles with natural dyes. They bake 10 – 12 flavors a day including some gluten free varieties. The cakes are also larger than your normal round shape, making them a great value, at 2.75 each.
San Diego
The Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University. The mission of the Center is to celebrate the works of directors, writers, producers, cinematographers, and editors -- who happen to be women. The program also encourage more women to pursue careers in these important storytelling roles. Finally, the Center seeks to contribute to a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of women's employment and representations through an extensive agenda of original research. For further information visit their website at womenintvfilm.sdsu.edu
be able to hang and move as fast you do.” More information is available at www.dirtyredgear.com
Woman
“Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can broil it, bake it, barbeque it…” Guests are bound to recall this famous line from the movie “Forrest Gump” at the sight of Barona Valley Ranch Resort & Casino’s enormous allyou-can-eat “Prime Rib and Shrimpfest” at the Ranch House Buffet from January 5 to March 31. The Prime Rib and Shrimpfest buffet will be served Mondays through Thursdays at the Ranch House Buffet from 4 to 10 p.m. for $20.99 per person. Barona Valley Ranch Resort & Casino is located at 1932 Wildcat Canyon Road in Lakeside. For more information, visit www.barona.com or call 619-443-2300.
Issue 1, 2009
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We as friends, laugh.
By Robert Tussey
ness of the experiences - and the calamities. Johnny called Irwin (in his room) one night to tell him he had a visitor at his bathroom window. When Irwin rounded the corner into the bathroom he discovered a moose had managed to get his head and front feet into the window. The reaction of each at the sight of the other would have been priceless on camera. Friendship is that blanket (we use) against the cruelties of They both left the room loudly and created a vision that will day to day life. We cloak ourselves in that buffer in times live for a very long time. both good and bad. It has been said that to have one true Another night saw all of us gathered around the table, cards friend in a lifetime you have been truly gifted. I can’t tell you in hand, and Lori noticed a small spider on the table in front how lucky of her. I am. ArachnoWe play phobia cards flared and and have she grabbed dinners, the hand of laugh, her partand chat ner and and tell smashed tales of the poor lifetimes thing flat. rich in Silence experigrew to ence and laughter as hubris. Rollie lifted Fourteen his hand so of us, we could all gathered see the conat each sequence others’ of her achouses tion. We sharing laughed Front Row L to R. Jo Fickus, Drena Jones, Cliff Hickman, Judi Hickman, Lori Tussey, Robert Tussey our souls till we Back Row L to R. Irwin Fickus, Eugene Jones, Rick Barajas, Johnny Boone, Janice Boone, Jim Skelton, Joan Skelton and temptcried at ing fate as the look we rail at the once and future frailties that now beset us. on his face; palm up, still unsure what had just happened. Lori and I first joined the group in 2002 by meeting at FeWhen we joined the group most had moved from their motorlipe’s in Jamul for dinner before playing cards. As we walked cycles to RV’s. Our card group was the constant as people across the restaurant towards the table Erwin strode forward, came and went. Fireside chats and picnic table games drew hand out, welcoming and telling us ‘we’re just talking about us closer. What we discovered as time wore on was the sex.’ Of course the conversation wasn’t about sex, but I diverse backgrounds of each person in the group. From teleknew we were in for quite an evening. This was his tag used vision producer to mechanic, phone company employee to as an ice breaker, and weeded out the faint of heart. By the office manager, engineer to property manager, we all shared end of the night the warmth and camaraderie enveloped us our love of life and each other. Our varied lives brought us and our membership assured. closer instead creating that chasm which drives people into Irwin was the organizer. “Where are we playing next week?” separate camps: All too common today. “Where are we going to dinner?” Decisions had to be made We’ve celebrated 50th wedding anniversaries, birthdays and and timetables set. We played cards every Wednesday seen each other through surgeries and illness. Life’s pasand Saturday and set our calendars. The card games were sages and the cruelty of aging bond us in support and caring. secondary to the conversations and storytelling. Most of the Tears and laughter shared over the years have revealed the group had met while riding motorcycles together, taking road soul and humanity of us all while fending off the indifference trips over much of the country. Some long, some simply of the outside world. I wonder what price friendship has sufweekend treks, all were the thing of bonded friendship. fered in our world where people are wont to wave at a neighSo many of our tableside talks are of those trips and the richbor as they close their garage door. We hug. A lot! Shared laughter creates a bond of friendships. When people laugh together, they cease to be young and old, teacher and pupils, worker and boss. They become a single group of human beings. W. Lee Grant
Issue 1, 2009
"Foods from around the world" Chef Sanjay Kabadi sanjaykabadi@yahoo.com
Mozzarella and prosciutto stuffed chicken breast Ingredients: • 3 whole chicken breasts, skinned, boned and halved • 6 slices prosciutto • 6 slices mozzarella cheese • 2 cups fresh tomato sauce • 1 cup white wine • 1/4 cup olive oil • 1/4 cup fresh chopped parsley • 2 tsp oregano • 1/2 tsp thyme • Salt and pepper to taste
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2) Arrange the breasts. Skin side down and sprinkle them with salt and pepper. On each half put 2 slices of prosciutto and 2 slices of mozzarella cheese.
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3) Turn sides of breasts over the filling, roll them and secure ends with picks.
La Jolla: 858.454.1999 Escondido: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866
4) Dust the breasts with flour seasoned with salt and pepper, brown on all sides with hot olive oil over moderately high heat.
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5) Transfer the chicken breast to an ovenproof dish.
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6) Remove the oil from the pan and add wine, reduce the wine over high heat, scooping the brown bits that cling to the bottom of the pan, for a minute, this process is called glazing. 7) Add fresh tomato sauce, oregano, thyme, salt and pepper to taste. 8) Simmer for 2 minutes, pour the sauce over the chicken breast and bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Garnish with fresh chopped parsley. 9) Serve with a side of fresh steamed veggies and buttermilk mashed potatoes
Issue 1, 2009
San Diego
Directions 1) Put the halved chicken breasts between 2 sheets of wax paper and flatten them until they are 1/2 inch thick
Woman
It was three years after we joined the group that I discovered Irwin (Fickas) had won seven Emmys. We were settling in to play cards at his and his wife, Jo’s house when I noticed the statues on their mantle. The game was delayed as I asked him about them and he proudly talked at length about his career at Chanel 8 here in San Diego. We watched a couple of videos he had produced and/or directed. He showed us photographs taken throughout his years and reminisced about the many people he had met while at the station. What we learn about each other is that we all are special, each of us, and the discoveries never end. Card games and dinners with friends seems small consequence against our ever-changing world. But the comfort of that friendship and the warm smiles provide us shelter and a place of peace. As we gather in lobbies before dinner and hug and laugh and greet each other I watch the faces of those waiting to be seated. Some annoyed, some indifferent, but in many I see a longing to have what we have: A circle of compassion and caring – shared openly. This has been lost on most of society. As we move further toward anonymity we leave behind the kindness and trust we once enjoyed as children, only to find a disparate loneliness and a longing with no name. Gather together and eat and play and laugh and fill your heart with each other – we have.
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Are You A Shopaholic? There are many of us out there that feel a certain rush when they have the opportunity to scour the malls or hit the designer outlets. The adrenaline starts to flow and suddenly we are able to tune out the rest of the world and revel in the joy of the moment. We all have days, weeks or maybe even months like that, but when it gets out of control and we find ourselves spending way too much money we are forced to take the problem seriously. Those with a serious case of this affliction may need to seek professional help with a psychologists who will treat the problem as they would with any addiction. With the economic times being what they are a new form of this disease has emerged it is referred to as “Bulimic Shopping� and it accounts for those shopaholics who go on a spending spree, but return everything they bought the next day. If you suffer from any of these problems, and you feel it is out of control and want to learn more go to: www.shopaholicsanonymous.org
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Check enclosed Bill my credit card Name on Card __________________________ Card # ________________________________ Exp ___________________________________ CCV code ______________________________ Billing Address___________________________ _______________________________________ Issue 1, 2009
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Or log on to our website at www.sandiegowoman.com and click on the Reader Survey tab. Name ________________________________ Email_______________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________________________ 1.Where did you pick up a copy of San Diego Woman?_______________________________________ 2. Have you visited our website www.sandiegowoman.com ?________________________________ 3. What is your favorite article in this issue?__________________________Why?________________ 4. Would you like your business to receive bulk copies?______________________________________ 5. Are there any particular topics you would like to see covered?_______________________________ 6. Would you like to nominate someone to be featured in an upcoming issue?____________________ Name & Contact Information _________________________________________________________ 7. Do you work?_____________ Part-time_________________ Full-time_______________________ 8. Type of Work?_____________________________________________________________________ 9. Are you married?_____________Single_____________Separated____________Divorced________ 10. Do you have children?_____________ Ages___________________________________________
Issue 1, 2009
Serenity in the Midst of Activity By Robin Dohrn Simpson
Perhaps you’ve seen people practicing this form of martial arts in the park or at the beach and wondered what the heck is that and why are so many people doing it? Are they having fun?
light bulb illuminates, it is energy that has flowed into the bulb and turned it on.” Chi can’t be touched or felt, but when you move your body and there is heat, that is chi. Chi flows through the meridians of the body, through vessels and arteries. These are the same channels that an acupuncturist taps into with her needles, or a masseuse uses to heal the body. Relaxation is achieved through slow circular movements. The practice is ended with a standing pose, to allow the energy to be absorbed into the cells of your body. The main components of the practice are slow rocking movements forwards and backwards of your feet while your arms move in harmony doing repetitive circular movements both sideways and up and down. To slow and calm your mind the focus is on the rhythm of the foot movement. Don’t forget strong breathing too. Breath is another strong life force. “T’ai Chi Chih has many healing qualities.” Susan advises. “Besides increasing balance, a recent study was just published stating that Tai Chi led to a 50% improvement in the immune response to the shingles virus.” Tai chi can also improve ones quality of life, ease chronic pain, reduce migraine headaches, increase balance and strengthen the body.
San Diego
Are you feeling stressed out? Do your daily demands reduce you to wet pasta by the end of the day? Do you not give yourself enough time to just “be”? If you answer yes to any or all of these questions, then it’s time to look into T’ai Chi Chih.
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“As people age they lose their sense of balance.” Susan says “The movements whether done sitting or standing seem to have some profound results on balance. Studies have shown that those who practice the movements do have less falls.
Tai Chi has been around, in many forms, for thousands of years. Originally developed in China around the 12th century A.D. it started as a martial art but over time people began to use it for health purposes as well. Along with the movements came a better quality of life, flexibility, strength, cardiovascular function, pain, balance and suppleness to the body. Susan Haymaker of El Cajon, California has been teaching T’ai Chi Chih for approximately 20 years. “Tai chi revolves around ‘chi’,” She explains. “Chi is energy. Chi is life force. Chi is unseen, but fully felt. It’s the same concept as electricity, when you flip on a light switch and the Issue 1, 2009
A recent study at Emory University in Atlanta found that men and women over the age of 70 who practiced tai chi reduced their risk of falling by 47% compared with a control group. Another study at the Johns Hopkins Medical Institution in Baltimore concluded that tai chi can reduce blood pressure in older adults slightly more than regular aerobic exercise. In 2007 the American Journal of Chinese Medicine completed a study that concluded that Tai chi improves the antibody response to influenza vaccine in older adults. Connie Daugherty, of Poway California is a T’ai Chi Chih student. She started learning the movements when she was healing from a shoulder injury. After her sessions were finished with her physical therapist, Connie was disappointed with both her continued pain and her lack of depth of movement of her arm. The therapist advised her that from then on she would have to do exercises on her own and that any gains to movement would be slow in coming.
Disturbed by this proclamation, Daugherty sought out other options. She joined a T’ai Chi Chih class to see if she could heal herself and not suffer any more pain. What she found proved to be her healing grace. After a few classes and practicing for 20 minutes daily, she found that not only could she do the movements without any pain, but her injured arm was getting stronger and able to get full movement. “I let my strong arm do the movements to the fullest extent and let the sore arm follow along.” Connie explained. “Eventually my sore arm wanted to do what my strong arm was doing. That is how I gained full movement of my arm.” “I can’t attribute it to anything else except the 20 minutes a day that I practice.” Connie said. “In fact, not only am I pain
Lullabies Berceuse; French for lullaby, or, cradle song. Originating in England in the late 1300’s had but a single purpose: 48 To lull a child to sleep. We soothe our children with them. We soothe ourselves by humming a familiar tune when the stress of the day becomes overwhelming. As we grow older our lullabies are often songs that take us out of ourselves and let our souls rest. Music is this, from birth. Jeff Black, singer/ songwriter, has released a set of lullabies (titled: Sleepy Town) he wrote for his two young children. Available as a digital download from Amazon.com (in their MP3 downloads section) and other on-line venues, these nine tunes, composed and performed on piano sans vocals, are touching remembrances of how sweet the face of your baby is when he’s slipping into the calmness of sleep. Issue 1, 2009
free, but my balance is better and I don’t have the difficulty in going up and down stairs that I was having before T’ai Chi Chih.” T’ai Chi Chih is currently offered in a nine week class through Poway Adult School. Go to their website at www. powayadultschool.com for class information. To search for a teacher near you go to www.taichichih.org. Susan Haymaker offers garden classes in the spring and summer. To see her schedule please visit her website at www.ajoyfulmovement. com . “Daily practice promotes inner peace and contentment, amongst other things.” Susan says. “Every day is a new day and a new practice.”
By Robert Tussey
I’m afraid the lullaby has become a lost art in our IPod, MP3 driven world. The refrain of a simple melody negates the electronic world and distills the pleasure of things uncomplicated to its essence: Us, alone together, and at peace. Download these and play them gently for the young ones - but don’t leave yourself out. Jeff’s tunes will take you on a journey well intended for relaxation and sleep. He has four other albums that are treasures for those of us looking for artists that (indeed) have the rare talent of matching words and music as the natural partners they are. I have a few cd’s that I call my comfort music; one’s that I use to bring me back down to earth and provide a cocoon of relief and calm, Jeff has just added another with this marvelous issue of great lullabies. With Valentines Day coming this would be a great time to gift yourself and your friends and spread the word on Jeff Black’s music. www.jeffblack.com.
San Diego
Events Around Town
Woman
A brand new restaurant and a San Diego dining landmark, held events which garnered our attention. Kitchen 1540 the newest edition to L’Auberge in Del Mar opened to rave reviews. Chef Paul McCabe wowed us once again with his wonderful fare.
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In another part of town Busalacchi’s on Fifth held a special wine tasting event with a specially prepared menu to compliment an incredible selection of wines. Chef Joe Busalacchi tempted our palates with an array of taste sensations. Both events were truly dining at its best in San Diego. Issue 1, 2009
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Upcoming Concerts In and around San Diego ˊ
By Jaime V. Habert ˊ
Mon, 04/20/09 08:00 PM
Honda Center Anaheim, CA
Britney Spears
Mon, 02/02/09 06:30 PM
San Diego State University - Cox Arena San Diego, CA
Motley Crue with Hinder & Theory of a Deadman
Thu, 02/05/09 06:30 PM
House of Blues San Diego San Diego, CA
Katy Perry with the Daylights
Sun, 02/15/09 07:30 PM
San Diego State University - Cox Arena San Diego, CA
Magic 92.5 Valentines Love Jam
Tue, 03/03/09 07:00 PM
San Diego Civic Theatre San Diego, CA
Grease
Mon, 03/09/09 06:30 PM
House of Blues San Diego San Diego, CA
Adele
Tue, 03/10/09 06:30 PM
House of Blues San Diego San Diego, CA
Jesse McCartney
Thu, 03/12/09 07:00 PM
House of Blues San Diego San Diego, CA
Lady Gaga with Chester French & White Tie Affair
Sat, 03/14/09 02:00 PM
San Diego Civic Theatre San Diego, CA
Rent
Thu, 02/12/09 07:00 PM
House of Blues Anaheim Anaheim, CA
LL Cool J
Thu, 02/19/09 08:00 PM
Grove of Anaheim Anaheim, CA
Nofx Plus Many Special Guests
Tue, 03/10/09 07:00 PM
House of Blues Anaheim Anaheim, CA
Tom Jones
Sat, 02/07/09 08:00 PM
CLUB NOKIA Los Angeles, CA
Ne-Yo
Sat, 02/28/09 07:00 PM
CLUB NOKIA Los Angeles, CA
Sat, 03/28/09 07:30 PM
Honda Center Anaheim, CA
Issue 1, 2009
Lisa Lampanelli Billy Joel & Elton John
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Issue 1, 2009