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October 2014 Tishrei/Cheshvan 5775

ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE

EPIC YOM KIPPUR An Interview with Sandy Koufax

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MAGAZINE OK

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ROUND TWO Encore Careers After Retirement THE NEW PULSE OF SENIOR LIFE A Fresh Today and Tomorrow

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Stegmeier, Gelbart, Schwartz, & Benavente, LLP

Saul Gelbart is a Certified Family Law Specialist who has been helping people resolve all matters of Family Law with the utmost care and discretion for over 30 years. He is an active member in his community, taking time to serve at local schools and coaching athletics.

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HAPPY AT HOME

Senior caregiving agency tells Ezra Center seniors how to stay independent.

BY MELISSA MARKS

Getting acquainted at the Ezra Center are Eva Silverman, Ezra Center program chair; Penny Byram, founder and president of Professional Health Care Services, Inc.; Nick Mannering, RN, representative of the Down with Falls Coalition of Orange County; and Jerry Silverman, Ezra Center president.

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ow in its 19th year the Ezra Center is an organization that provides daytime programming, socialization and nutrition to active seniors. Many of these seniors live in north Orange County, but others come from much further away.

“People describe us as a lifeline,” said Eva Silverman, who has served as program director for 18 of those years. “You can take what you want from it – meals, poker and Mah Jongg games, exercise classes and lectures about everything from religion to medicine to how to improve the quality of your life now and later.”

The Ezra Center meets at Temple Beth Emet in Anaheim on Monday and Thursday and at Temple Beth Tikvah in Fullerton on Wednesday. There are lectures, exercise programs and games.

Participants can get a full kosher lunch for $5 on Monday and Thursday.

Several recent programs at the Ezra Center have focused on the quality-of-life issues. In July, Professional Health Care Services, Inc. (PHCSI), a family-owned caregiving registry, placement and referral agency that is also 19 years old, brought in speaker John Menzies Clark to talk about “Living at

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Ezra Center members listen to Nick Mannering, RN, representative

of the Down with Falls Coalition of Orange County.

Home as a Senior.” Clark discussed all the ways that seniors can get the help they need to stay in their are our loved ones” and in maintaining the dignity homes for as long as possible. He talked about the of the individual and creating chemistry between care options that are available to give dignity to caregiver and client. PHCSI has won awards and people as they age and respite to family members. garnered recognition for its approach to the needs

For instance, Professional Health Care Services, Inc., provides personalized, quality live-in or hourly home care and hospital sitting by nursing assistants (CNAs), home health aides (HHAs) and licensed vocational nurses (LVNs). That includes custodial care, personal care, hospital sitting, senior concierge services, in-home support services, post-hospital care, respite care, transportation/errands, hospice care and secretarial/clerical services.

The company provides private duty care for the elderly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The rates charged to clients are based on the level of care needed and the number of hours required by the family. Special arrangements can be made to help those who cannot afford private duty care.

PHCSI, serving Orange, which was founded by Penny Byram, serves the Los Angeles and Riverside Counties. Byram believes that “Your loved ones

of seniors.

“There was a fine turnout of 25 to 30 people at the presentation,” Silverman said. “The speaker was a good resource, and the program was well received.”

Ezra Center Program Director Margalit Moskowitz added, “People can use this information in the future or share it with other people.”

For more information on caregiving for seniors, contact Professional Health Care Services, Inc., at (888) 534-8082 or (714) 554-0878; info@phcsicare.com or www.phcsicare.com.

The Ezra Center receives support from Jewish Federation & Family Services, grants and private donations. For more information, call (714) 776-1103 or e-mail ezra2005@juno.com.

inside VIEWPOINT

LIFESTYLE

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Israel Scene House-swapping Anyone?

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On The Lighter Side Gracefully Misconstrued

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JLIFE | Tishrei/Cheshvan 5775 | OCTOBER 2014

In Memorium Joan Rivers

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The Peel Laughing it Off in Orange County

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Israeli Guy Dwelling Differently FEATURES

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Bridging The Gaps of Time Day care for adult community members.

War The New Normal for Israel?

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Chapman Houses Our History Holocaust Studies in Orange County

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Rachel Goes Rogue Awkward!

The New Pulse of Senior Life Fresh Experience for Today and Tomorrow

Honoring Our Fathers and Mothers Heritage Point Celebrates 25 Years

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Fresh Orange Jews O.C.’s Fresh Faces

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Transcending Limitations Touching the Divine

Turning The Tide Caring for Our Aging Loved Ones

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Round Two Encore careers after retirement.

History/Blogs Orange County’s Jewish History & The Blogosphere IN EVERY ISSUE

PROFILE

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First & Foremost Prophet or Priest

A Phoenix Rising The Rebuilding of Temple Beth Sholom

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Letters/Who Knew Words from our Readers

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Out & About A Guide to OC Fun

News & Jews O.C. Jewish Scene

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Cooking Jewish With Judy Bart Kancigor

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Seniors Calendar Fitness, Education & More

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Advertising Index

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Financial Focus Final Finances

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Look inside for Kiddish, our insert publication, right after page 40.

26 On the Cover

Epic Yom Kippur: An interview with Sandy Kaufax.

Photo by Jon SooHoo/Los Angeles Dodgers

Jlife

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PUBLISHER | MODY GORSKY, LLM, MBA PUBLISHER | MARK EDELSTEIN PUBLISHER | MOTAN, LLC PUBLISHER EMERITUS | DR. MARK MOSS MANAGING EDITOR | TRACEY ARMSTRONG GORSKY EXECUTIVE EDITOR | DR. LISA GRAJEWSKI EXECUTIVE EDITOR | FLORENCE L DANN GEN Y EDITOR | RACHEL SCHIFF CONTRIBUTING EDITOR | TANYA SCHWIED FOOD EDITOR | JUDY BART KANCIGOR EDITORIAL INTERN | HANNAH SCHOENBAUM ART DIRECTOR | RACHEL BELLINSKY CONTRIBUTING WRITERS MARTIN BROWER, MERAV CEREN, ADAM CHESTER, FLORENCE L DANN, RABBI DAVID ELIEZRIE, HARRIETTE ELLIS, JUDY FLORMAN, STEFANEE FREEDMAN, EVE GUMPEL, CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, DEBORAH LEWIS, CARINE NADEL, PAMELA PRICE, NAOMI RAGEN, MAYRAV SAAR, RACHEL SCHIFF, ANDREA SIMANTOV, DALIA TAFT, TEDDY WEINBERGER COPYEDITOR MICHELLE ITEN CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS/ARTISTS RACHEL BELLINSKY, ALLEN BEREZOVSKY, PEPE FAINBERG, JANET LAWRENCE, CHARLES WEINBERG ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES DIANE BENAROYA (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE) MARTIN STEIN (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE) BEN SMITH (ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE) EDITORIAL (949) 633-5456 (DR. LISA GRAJEWSKI) OR (949) 734-5074 EDITORJLIFE@GMAIL.COM ADVERTISING (949) 812-1891, SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM, (949) 734-5074 ART ART@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM JLIFE IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE, LLC 1 FEDERATION WAY, IRVINE, CA 92603

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Jlife is published monthly by Orange County Jewish Life, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to Jlife, 1 Federation Way, Irvine,CA 92603. Jlife is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. Orange County Jewish Life, LLC is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. Orange County Jewish Life, LLC reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity.

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FIRST & FOREMOST

INQUIRIES AND DEBACLES

Questioning What We Have for a Better Tomorrow

BY FLORENCE L DANN

“How are you today?”

“How should I be?”

Jews love questions! A child comes home from school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?” A Jewish child comes home from school, and her parent says,” Did you ask any good questions today?”

Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first fifty five minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I knew the proper question I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.

Many people are looking for answers and not asking the Asking questions wisest questions.”

Asking questions opens us opens us up to up to possibilities and makes possibilities and room for new options. The makes room for right questions can create new options. innovative solutions because questions they ask force them they look for answers that exist to think in innovative ways: outside our current experience “Why” questions allow us to or sphere of knowledge. confront a problem and articulate the chalVan Phillips lost the lower part of his leg lenge: why does this situation exist, or why has in a boating accident. After being fitted with no one (or I) considered other possibilities? what he called “a pink foot on a steel bar,” “What if ” questions help us understand our he wondered why, if we could put a man on present reality: what if I look at this issue from the moon, we couldn’t come up with a better a different perspective? And “how” questions prosthetic. Over the years, his constant ques- encourage us to turn speculation into reality: tioning led him to look outside the world of how can I do this? prosthetics: the movement of a cheetah, his Perhaps as we continually confront issues father’s flexible Chinese blade. This led him to in our lives, we too can use this process of ultimately develop the prosthetic we all recog- questioning to find innovative answers that nize as the curved blade allowing amputees to will help us move into the next chapter of walk and run more naturally. Most innovators our lives. like Phillips go through a series of questions This month’s JLife is devoted to those have until they get to the solution they desire. The moved into new chapters of their lives. While 12 OCTOBER 2014 |

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we present services and programs that are available for seniors in our community, we also look at how many are choosing to use their wisdom and experience in new ways.

Once retired, they face the challenge of what to do with the years ahead. We spoke with a few members of our community who shared how they answered the question, “What now?”

As Einstein also said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.” A Florence L Dann, a fourth-year rabbinical student at the Academy for Jewish Religion in L.A., has been a contributing writer to JLife Magazine since 2004. She served as the Vice President of the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation West Coast and currently teaches English as Second Language to adults.

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| OCTOBER 2014 15

LETTERS

Kvetch & Kvell

MORE “SHIKTZAH-ISMS” You asked us to respond as to whether we were offended by the use of the word “shiksa.” No, I do not find the word offensive. What is offensive, however, are attitudes and behaviors that denigrate and reject non-Jewish women, whether they are called “shiksas” or not.

Attitudes have changed a lot in the past 50 years, but I will always remember that my husband’s choice of me, a shiksa, was considered a dreadful thing at the time. I was not welcomed with much pleasure into the family but was accepted since my husband stood his ground. It turned out well: My in-laws came to value me and loved me, as I did them.

I turned out to be the daughterin-law that cared for them in their old age.

Early on I recognized that the number of us shiksas with Jewish

We would have a newsletter with articles on all sorts of topics, such as basic Yiddish, recipes, fashions, raising children, dealing with in-laws, Jewish history, celebrating holidays, respecting our own backgrounds, even columns written by rabbis. It turned out that many of us were “more Jewish” than our husbands, and we were the source of the Jewish traditions that were maintained in our homes.

What any label of any group can belie is the vast diversity of members of that group. Just as there is no one type of Jewish person, shikas also come in wide varieties. Some are very committed to their own religions and some convert and pursue Judaism with greater zeal than the families into which they have married. In the middle ground are those who become as culturally Jewish as their husbands but don’t align themselves with any organized religion.

So, as Shakespeare asked, what’s in a name...?

Marcia Goldstein Laguna Woods, CA

We welcome your letters! Email editorjlife@gmail.com with your feedback.

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PHOTO BY ZACH DALIN

husbands was increasing. I amused myself with the idea of starting a “Shiksa Power” movement (it was the ‘60s, after all). I designed “Shiksa Power” pins and bumper stickers in pale shades of pink, yellow, or blue with our logo in white—a hand with a bouquet of daisies and a string of pearls for a bracelet.

Who Knew?

JLife has its eye on this rising new star, Joel Kinnaman. After binging on past episodes of AMC’s and then Netflix’s “The Killing” series, we did some digging.

Joel is Jewish! Born Charles Joel Kinnaman in Stockholm, Sweden, Joel was best known for playing the lead role in the Swedish film Easy Money—a role that earned him a Guldbagge Award in the “Best Actor” category. However, it is his American television role as smooth-talking “Detective Holder” in The Killing that really has heads turning. Since this break-out role he has starred in the remake of Robo Cop and has a few movies in the works, all with a heavy-hitting cast lineup. The Hollywood future looks bright for this clever guy.

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Israel Scene | BY ANDREA SIMANTOV

House-swapping, Anyone?

AFTER A KIDDUSH REPLETE WITH SCOTCH AND PICKLED HERRING, HE’D BE PUTTY IN MY HANDS. 20 OCTOBER 2014 |

DRAWING BY PEPE FAINBERG

Pesach in South Africa

IT WAS AN early springtime Shabbat morning when I had an epiphany. Let’s sub-let our Jerusalem apartment for Pesach and visit my children in South Africa! It was a flash of pure genius; with little effort, we’d cover the exorbitant cost of the airfare and have enough left over to buy gifts and hire someone to make the kitchen kosher-for-Pesach with the dishes we keep in the storeroom (three floors below in a non-elevator building). Waiting for my husband to return from synagogue, the plan gelled and took Jlife

form. After a kiddush replete with scotch and pickled herring, he’d be putty in my hands.

Two l’chaims later, he was all ears, and by the third jigger, he was waxing emotional about his childhood in the now non-inhabitable Johannesburg neighborhoods of Hillbrow and Yeoville. I felt teary and self-important, being the facilitator of a waltz down Memory Lane with the man I love.

That night I called our barely adequate travel agent, Heshie, who promised the best deal imaginable.

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Judith Gottesman, MSW Soul Mates Unlimited® Amazingly, he found an unbelievable bargain: two round-trip tickets for the cost of one ticket on a preferred airline. The only caveat was a seven-hour stopover in Cairo. No problem! We have peace with Egypt, don’t we???

That week I posted digital photos of our home on several Yahoo groups and Facebook. Initially thinking my home possessed an “earthy charm,” it became evident that it was downright shabby, with jutting electrical outlets, institutional white paint, and a kitchen that was not modern enough for Golda Meir to cook in. The two bathrooms are a tad more modern than outhouses because they boast taps and occasionally running water.

While the place is a dump, it’s our dump and we hoped that someone would feel excited by the prospect of spending a month living among the amcha, aka common folks. Still, except for being only a 40-minute walk from the Western Wall, my neighborhood is off the beaten-path of everything. The bus runs in front of our home, but tourists occasionally have a bad attitude toward public transportation, ever since a few motor-coaches exploded in recent decades. We live between two Arab villages, which makes for a beautiful view but, again, the wedding celebration gun-shots and frequent Border Patrol clashes with stone-throwing teens might concern potential renters. We did not give up. Someone-oh-someone would want to experience living like a real Israeli. They would! They would!

Less than a week before the departure date, the apartment still not rented, I’d gone into overdraft for the airfare, and we received unexpected news from Heshie-the-Horrible. The bargain flight to Johannesburg via Cairo was canceled, but we could take a connecting flight 24 hours later. After acquiring visas. And spending a night in Cairo. Two days traveling for a typically nine-hour flight. Between discussions of canceling and considering taking second and third jobs each, we got calls from the children, telling us how excited they were about our visit. In the end, we flew Ethiopian Air. Don’t ask. . . .

By Rosh HaShanah, we’d paid off the trip and were able to pray, unencumbered by financial obstacles in our spiritual paths.

And lo and behold, by Yom Kippur we received a call from Johannesburg explaining that we’re again expected at the Seder table. Without missing a beat, we both shouted “Yes!” Suppressing additional epiphanies, we have placed an old tzedakah box on the window sill for the express purpose of covering the expenses of the now-annual excursion, placing more faith in God and our day jobs than in either Heshie or the internet.

New York-born Andrea Simantov is a mother of six who moved to Jerusalem in 1995. She frequently lectures on the complexity and magic of life in Jerusalem and can be contacted at elkadee@netvision.net.il.

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On the Lighter Side | BY MAYRAV SAAR

VIEWPOINT

Gracefully Misconstrued The Process I Was Not Warned About

I AM NOW EXPERIENCING THAT PROCESS. AND IT SUCKS. 22 OCTOBER 2014 |

WHEN YOU THINK about growing old, you don’t think about aging.

You think about some far-distant future in which you are wrinkled and gray and adorable. You imagine your life as a powdered lemonade-mix commercial in which you and your fellow old farts sit on a porch and play checkers.

You quip like Betty White. You dance like Robert Morse. You shock like Cloris Leachman.

But in reality, you don’t do any of those things.

What nobody tells you is that you don’t go from ironic black handlebar mustache to unironic gray handlebar mustache overnight. Aging is a process. A slow, degenerative, ultimately futile process.

I am now experiencing that process. And it sucks.

Decades of ritualistic application of sunscreen to my face has largely spared me the kind of lines someone my age might expect. But I sorta forgot to apply said sunscreen to my neck and chest, and now I look like someone Photoshopped a 30-year-old’s face onto a 50-year-old’s neck.

I have been applying my baby’s 50-proof sunscreen to my neck and chest every day in a desperate effort to reverse the effect, but all it has done so far is make me smell weirdly medicinal. And what could be more “old lady” than smelling weirdly medicinal?

For years, I stood on the sidelines of the debate about youth-worship in this country. I didn’t know what all the fuss was about. If you are trying to sell bathing suits, doesn’t it just make more sense to use a 20-year-old model than a 60-year-old?

But now, as I see former mentors getting laid off the moment they turn 50, I sympathize. It’s not about beauty. I’ve read one report where 20 percent of Baby Boomers have experienced age discrimination when seeking employment—all those people couldn’t possibly be swimsuit models.

So now I want to look youthful, not for vanity’s sake, but to maintain my claim on this here planet. I never leave the house without mascara, and I am conJlife

sidering ways to make my hair look fuller (is scalping a 20-year-old legal?). I’m not sure I’d go under the knife to preserve a youthful appearance, but the further south my boobs migrate, the more viable an option that seems.

I’m aging, and, wow, it sucks. So if you’re in your 30s and you’re reading this, remember to apply sunscreen to your neck and chest. And if you’re in your 20s and you’re reading this, watch out. You might be coming for my job, but I’m coming for your scalp.

Mayrav Saar is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles.

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| OCTOBER 2014 23

Israeli Guy | BY TEDDY WEINBERGER

VIEWPOINT

Dwelling Differently The Power of Succot

OF COURSE LIFE IS NEVER SIMPLE, AND THERE JUST HAS TO BE A FLY IN THE OINTMENT. 24 OCTOBER 2014 |

IN AMERICA, SUCCOT is a meteorologically challenged holiday, and our family experienced the whole panoply of challenges. From my wife’s native Omaha with its bitter cold October nights, to my native New York’s torrential rains, to the oppressively hot Miami, where we lived for six years before making aliyah in 1997, Succot, though characterized by meals outside, was often no picnic. In Israel, on the other hand, Succot meals very much do resemble pleasant picnics, as the weather is usually quite temperate.

Of course life is never simple, and there just has to be a fly in the ointment—or a bee in the honey, since we’re speaking about Succot. If you are tempted to conclude that the mitzvah of succah is easy to observe in Israel, you need to know one thing: there are plenty of people who will tell you that the mitzvah is to live as much as possible in the succah for seven days—not just to take one’s meals in the succah but to study, play, and sleep in the succah as well. The succah, according to these people (aka “killjoys”), is not just a temporary dining room but a temporary dwelling. If you don’t sleep in the succah in Israel, you are sometimes made to feel as if you have hardly observed the mitzvah.

What happens in practice? If you are expecting me at this point to say that only ultra-orthodox Jews sleep in their succot on the holiday, you would be wrong. While the ultra-orthodox often go to great lengths to give their succah a feeling of a “dwelling,” dragging out their regular (heavy) dining-room tables and bureaus into their succah, plenty of the nationalreligious (the modern-Orthodox equivalent in Israel) can be found on mattresses and sleeping bags in their succot. These will usually be men since women are technically released from the mitzvah of Succah (a time-bound commandment). And while women have obligated themselves to eating in the succah, because Jlife

of reasons of modesty (and the fact that fewer of them are crazy), they are not expected to sleep outside.

On a few occasions, I have joined my sons Ezra and Elie and slept in our succah. In truth, it can be a fun experience, lying there in the pleasant weather in the decorated succah (especially with the comforting feeling of that tiny sleeping pill at the ready in the palm of my hand). Perhaps I’m not fulfilling the commandment correctly, and perhaps I’m missing out on getting the full, rich experience of the mitzvah by not sleeping in my succah all seven nights? Perhaps.

Happy Succot!

Teddy Weinberger, Ph.D., is Director of Development for a consulting company called Meaningful. He made aliyah with his family in 1997 from Miami, where he was an assistant professor of religious studies. Teddy and his wife, Sarah Jane Ross, have five children.

COVER STORY

EPIC YOM KIPPUR

An Interview with Sandy Koufax

BY STEVE LIPMAN

Glendale, Ariz. — Baseballs in hand, Kyle Leibel, a 14-year-old fan from East Meadow, L.I., and John Fuchs, a pal from Phoenix, patrolled the grounds of the Los Angeles Dodgers spring training site here one recent morning, looking for autographs.

PHOTO BY JON SOOHOO/LOS ANGELES DODGERS

In the early days of the Dodgers’ preparation for the 2014 season, the teens, among dozens of other fans, chased down pitchers and catchers, traditionally the first players to report to spring training.

26 OCTOBER 2014 |

Then Steven Leibel, Kyle’s father, steered them to a scrum of fans pressed against a chain link fence, clamoring for an autograph from a white-haired senior citizen.

Koufax noticed the teens across the fence. “Are you out of school?” he kidded them. “You shouldn’t be out of school.”

Jlife

COVER STORY

The legendary Sandy Koufax.

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| OCTOBER 2014 27

COVER STORY

THE QUESTION WAS rhetorical. Kyle and John didn’t answer. They got his autograph.

“Thank you, Mr. Koufax,” they yelled. Then they ran off, in search of other, younger players. But before they did, Steven Leibel made sure they knew what they had: “You got the autograph of the century.”

Welcome to the life of Sandy Koufax, No. 32, a reluctant hero who, in an age of selfies and Twitter, has carved out a rare zone of privacy for himself. When he does venture into the public eye, his signature is in demand. Next season, though, the 50th anniversary of arguably the most famous game a major league pitcher did not pitch, Koufax will likely find himself in a brighter spotlight. The subject of countless sermons and newspaper columns and bar/bat mitzvah speeches in the last 49 years, that game, that decision, that moment that served as a touchstone of an emerging Jewish confidence in this country, will likely be recalled again in the Jewish community, and perhaps beyond.

This season — the Dodgers open against the Arizona Diamondbacks on March 22 and 23 in Australia — will be Koufax’s last before American Jewry relives that World Series, before the 2015 commemorations begin, before the onslaught of historical essays and requests for his thoughts.

Not that he’s likely to answer many questions or make many personal appearances.

Koufax notoriously avoids making himself a celebrity, an elusiveness that has undoubtedly added to his mystique. He rarely grants interviews.

It was a sunny, unusually warm winter week in this Phoenix suburb. Outfitted in a white golf shirt, cargo shorts and running shoes, Koufax sat at a small beach table outside the Dodgers’ headquarters, in the shadow of an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. He’s still in shape, his grip strong; he looks at least 10 years younger than his age.

Koufax spoke for about a half-hour, in short replies, sharing — as is his wont — snippets of his career but nothing about his inner life. He was civil, courteous; but being subjected to an interview was clearly painful;

he looked like a hitter must have looked at the plate, facing a Koufax fastball. Public selfreflection is not his comfort zone.

After introductions, the conversation turned quickly to Yom Kippur of

hotel.

“You’re not going to learn about that now,” Koufax told The Jewish Week.

What he did that day in ’65 was private; he never talks publicly about it.

Taking off on Yom Kippur wasn’t a big deal, he said. “It was something I always did.”

In 11 previous seasons with the Dodgers, in Brooklyn and in Los Angeles, he had taken off Yom Kippur, which had occurred during the regular season, he said.

He had adjusted his pitching schedule each year to make up for the missed start, while spending the holiday with his parents.

Yom Kippur in 1965 drew more notice, Koufax said, only because of the confluence with the World Series.

Why didn’t he play that game?

“Respect.”

It’s as simple as that?

“It’s as simple as that,” Koufax said.

He wasn’t trying to make a statement about Jewish pride?

“Absolutely not.”

Did anyone — owners, management, teammates — pressure him to start the Series, a pitcher’s most prestigious assignment?

He shook his head. “No pressure.”

Was it a risk — could he endanger his standing with the team?

“No.” Did the other Dodgers ask him, when he showed up to pitch the next day, what he had done on Yom Kippur? Did they ask anything about the holiday?

“No discussion.” They were used to his absence on the Day of Atonement; then, back to business.

Did he have any idea that that day of rest — barely a month after he pitched his fourth and final career no-hitter, this time a perfect game — would make him an icon?

He shook his head. “No.” When did he start to realize that, for many Jewish fans, he would become more famous for the one game he didn’t pitch than for the hundreds he did?

The buzz began, a little, the next year; the

“I can’t picture people talking about me 50 years from now.”

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— Sandy Koufax in a 1965 Sports Illustrated interview.

1965, which fell during the Dodgers-Minnesota Twins World Series; it is the subject that most interests Jewish fans. Yet Koufax wrote virtually nothing about it in his 1966 autobiography, devoting two paragraphs to the historic game. “I had already pitched and lost the second game because of the coincidence of the opening game falling on Yom Kippur,” he wrote, looking back at his start in game 2. “There was never any decision to make … because there was never any possibility that I would pitch. Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the Jewish religion. The club knows that I don’t work that day.”

A reader does not learn from the autobiography how Koufax spent that day (reportedly in his room at the ritzy St. Paul Hotel a few blocks from the banks of the Mississippi), if he prayed, if he fasted, if he followed the game on TV or radio, if he looked out the window at downtown St. Paul or at rowers from the Minnesota Boat Club, which is housed on a small island across from the

Continued on page 30

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COVER STORY

Continued from page 28

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS

A step back in time....

Koufax pitching.

momentum built afterwards. “There have been 49 years since then,” Koufax said.

Does the ongoing fuss surprise him?

“Yes.” “I wasn’t the first” — the first Jewish star to sit out a Yom Kippur game, he said, trying to deflect the focus from him. “Hank Greenberg did it.”

Greenberg is the Hall of Fame first baseman for the Detroit Tigers; his Yom Kippur off came in 1934, during the end of the Tigers’ successful drive for the American 30 OCTOBER 2014 |

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League championship.

Koufax answered several questions, declined to answer others, then stood up and walked into the Dodgers’ headquarters building.

‘In the Jewish Ether’ He spent a few hours that morning tending to his official duties, working with Dodger pitchers as a part-time instructor — his official title is Special Advisor to Dodgers’ Chairman Mark Walter — while along the way giving his autograph to fans who held

out balls or programs or old baseball cards for a signature scribbled by the most famous left hand in American Jewish history.

Most of the people who walked in front of the barricades, Dodger employees and members of the media, wore cardboard i.d. badges on strings around their neck. Koufax didn’t. “He doesn’t need a staff i.d.,” said Steven Brener, the team’s longtime public relations adviser.

A few hundred fans, of all ages and genders and ethnic backgrounds, gathered around a small grassy field at the spring training site – it looks like a modest community college, low-slung buildings scattered among green fields – that morning a few hours before Koufax was due to show up. “They’re all here for him,” Brener pronounced.

In an era of over-hyped and over-commercialized athletes, Koufax is a throwback.

Nearly five decades after he stopped pitching, his star has not dimmed, his reputation as a superstar and as a mensch still intact. “Forget the other fellow,” legendary manager Casey Stengel once said of Walter Johnson, an early-20th-Century pitcher who still ranks second in the major leagues in career wins.

Stengel had faced Johnson at bat. “The Jewish kid is probably the best of them,” Stengel said.

Today, Koufax’s player card is a must-have in the Jewish Major Leaguers (jewishmajorleaguers.org) collection, a ball signed by him occupies a space of honor in Philadelphia’s National Museum of American Jewish History, his picture shares space with 2012 Continued on page 32

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| OCTOBER 2014 31

COVER STORY

Continued from page 30

Olympic gymnast Aly Reisman on the cover of the updated “Jewish Sports Stars: Athletic heroes past and present” (Kar-Ben Publishing).

He was the symbolic final draft pick in the now-defunct Israel Baseball League’s sole season in 2011, taken by the Modi’in Miracles.

All because of one game in which he sat out.

Koufax’s decision to observe Yom Kippur in 1965 didn’t attract particular attention in the media at first. The New York Times and New York Post reported matter-of-factly that he would miss the start because that day was “the holiest Jewish holiday.” The Daily News was on strike that week. This newspaper’s predecessor, the Jewish Week & American Examiner, made no mention of the game.

But, through word of mouth in Jewish circles, everyone knew.

Over time, that game assumed mythic proportions.

“There are three things any selfrespecting Jewish boy should want to grow up to be: a doctor, a lawyer, or Sandy Koufax,” freelance writer Alan Seigel wrote in 2010. “A generation of young Jews considered him ‘the greatest Jew in America,’” Brandeis University historian Jonathan Sarna tells The Jewish Week. “In an era when lots of Jews thought it was best to keep their Judaism quiet,” Koufax’s act “gave some Jews courage to be outwardly Jewish in other ways—by wearing a Jewish symbol, demonstrating for Soviet Jews, or the like.”

The missed World Series start “was in the Jewish ether after ’65,” says Steven Schnur, a Scarsdale author and college instructor whose 1997 book about a fifth-grader who is supposed to pitch an important game for his team on the first night of Passover is titled “The Koufax Dilemma” (William Morrow).

Koufax, Schnur says, “was the universal symbol of a Jew who made a choice that we as a community admired.

“It has nothing to do with an Orthodox lifestyle,” or with a commitment to observance of halacha, says Schnur, who identifies himself as a committed Reform Jew. Koufax, who grew up in the Bensonhurst

section of Brooklyn, was (and remains, as far as is known) devoutly secular, with little formal Jewish education and (according to all accounts) no bar mitzvah. He intermarried twice and divorced twice; he has no children.

“A secular, nonpracticing Jew,” is Jane Leavy’s

community as it was in the general Jewish community,” says Rabbi Berel Wein, an Orthodox scholar and historian who now lives in Jerusalem. “His refusal to pitch on Yom Kippur influenced that generation of American Jews to become more publicly assertive and to be less ashamed of their Jewishness. The decision of Koufax to do the Jewish thing so publicly and in such a quintessential American setting as the World Series pumped a new confidence into that generation of American Jews.”

A new expression entered the US lexicon–to “pull a Koufax;” i.e., to do the right thing when faced with a moral quandary. Or, in a specifically Jewish context, to put Judaism first.

Koufax “always put team before self, modesty before fame and God before the World Series,” Sports Illustrated declared in 1999 in naming him number one in the magazine’s list of “Favorite Athletes of the Century.”

For many Americans, Koufax’s decision to sit out a World Series game transcended Greenberg’s similar decision.

“What makes Koufax’s episode so enduring,” says Jeffrey Gurock, professor of American Jewish history at Yeshiva University, “is the reaction of the baseball world — Christian world — to his decision.”

Koufax’s announcement that he would not pitch on Yom Kippur “was met with wide understanding and tolerance and constituted a reflection of the new levels of acceptance Jews were beginning to feel in the 1960s,” Gurock says. “It symbolized acceptance for our minority faith in an increasingly pluralistic world.”

Koufax helped define a new type of Jew and a new type of athlete, David Kaufman writes in “Jewhooing the Sixties: American Celebrity and Jewish Identity–Sandy Koufax, Lenny Bruce, Bob Dylan and Barbra Streisand” (Brandeis University Press, 2012).

Kaufman, an associate professor of religion at Hofstra University, defines Jewhooing:as “Jewish celebrity consciousness.” His book studies four prominent, quintessential Jewish

“There are three things any self-respecting Jewish boy should want to grow up to be: a doctor, a lawyer, or Sandy Koufax.”

32 OCTOBER 2014 |

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— Alan Seigel

description in “Sandy Koufax: A Lefty’s Legacy” (Harper Perennial, 2002). A secular Jew who became a symbol for the entire Jewish community, Koufax committed an act of respect for Jewish tradition that even reached into Orthodox circles.

“As we boys huddled in the lobby of shul that Kol Nidrei night the talk was not on Teshuva [repentance], rather it was on Koufax,” Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, a haredi spiritual leader who grew up in Brooklyn and now lives in Passaic, N.J., wrote last year on the aish.com website.

That Yom Kippur game came only two decades after the end of World War II and the Holocaust, two years before Israel’s triumph in the Six-Day War, which gave American Jews a boost of pride.

“When Sandy Koufax stated that he would not pitch on Yom Kippur, many Jews in America stood a little taller and had a better sense of self-worth and Jewish pride.

That was as true in the Orthodox observant

Continued on page 34

Break out the popcorn– it’s movie time!

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For film, schedule & pricing: ocjff.org 949-553-3535

Jlife

| OCTOBER 2014 33

COVER STORY

Continued from page 32

celebrities who represented a generational change in Jewish image.

“Koufax embodied the ‘Jewish’ quality of intelligence –he was a gentleman and a scholar–a trait valued in baseball far more than in other sports,” Kaufman writes. “Koufax had become the ultimate symbol of Jewish American success, powerfully demonstrating that Jews could succeed in a non-Jewish world while retaining the best of themselves as Jews: integration without assimilation, Americanism without goyism.”

‘In most people’s estimation, he is a ‘Super Jew” … a “nice Jewish boy,” in contrast to comic Lenny Bruce’s edgy, profane persona, Kaufman says in an email interview. “It’s all far more complicated than we usually admit.

“Was it just the simple notion that we welcomed having our tradition welcomed by the national pastime, or was it also some indication of our own guilt and self-criticism for not building an American Jewish culture/ community that would make such self-sacrifice self-evident?

“I think the typical Jewish male’s adoration of Koufax … is a bit sad and even pathetic, inasmuch as it functions as compensation for feelings of unmanliness and emasculation that are all-too-characteristic of American Jewish men,” Kaufman told The Jewish Week.

‘Role Model’ According to Sports Illustrated, Koufax once told Rabbi Hillel Silverman, a veteran spiritual leader who has served congregations in California and Connecticut, “I’m Jewish.

I’m a role model. I want them”—other Jews—“to understand they have to have pride.”

Jewish fans often tell him, “Thank you for not pitching,” Koufax says.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS

Koufax, bringing the heat.

He says he talked about his 1965 decision with Shawn Green, a Jewish major leaguer from 1993 to 2007 (he spent time with the Dodgers and Mets), who twice faced his own Yom Kippur dilemma, “I didn’t tell him what to do.”

A growing number of Jewish athletes in the major leagues, the NFL and college football are facing the same decision about playing or praying. Almost all opt to play, citing their responsibilities to their teammates.

Does Koufax think they’re making a wrong decision?

“I don’t judge,” he says.

The day after Yom Kippur in 1965, Koufax was visited at his hotel in St. Paul by Rabbi Moshe Feller, a Chabad-Lubavitch chasidic leader. The desk clerk “probably figured I’m his rabbi,” Rabbi Feller said of his access to the star. The rabbi came with a set of tefillin.

Koufax accepted the gift. Rabbi Feller did not report if Koufax donned the tefillin that day. Either does Koufax. “He gave me the tefillin,” he says.

Since retiring, Koufax, who has lived in California and Maine, now resides in Vero

Beach, Fla.; he’s taken up fishing and golf and marathon running. He has worked, at times, as a minor league pitching coach, as a broadcaster for NBC and as an instructor for the New York Mets, who are owned by Fred Wilpon, a high school teammate.

He did not return to the University of Cincinnati, which he left when he signed with the Dodgers; he did not take up architecture, his college major.

How does he spend his time nowadays?

“I keep busy.”

Usually, by design, out of the public eye.

Many people who heard about this upcoming story asked, “Is he still alive?”

“Koufax didn’t want to grow old being Sandy Koufax,” being famous for being famous, Jane Leavy wrote in her biography.

“This is not an authorized biography,” Leavy once said of her book, which is regarded as the definitive book on Koufax.

“Reluctantly tolerated is more like it. Koufax made it clear to me from the very beginning that he had no interest in participating in this project financially or editorially.” Neither did Koufax actively oppose the book, she said in

COVER STORY

Imagine having a Koufax Card of your own.

Angeles Times stated in 2010 when Koufax agreed to appear at a fund-raising dinner for manager Joe Torre’s Safe at Home foundation, which combats domestic abuse.

“I’m not a loner. I’m not a hermit,” Koufax says in his interview with The Jewish Week. “I go to movies. I go to restaurants.”

The autograph seekers are often rewarded.

a Q&A near the end of the biography. “If it was going to be done, he wanted it to be done right. Thus, he gave me access to his friends, no small item, and agreed to verify matters of personal history.”

“Koufax’s reluctance to speak about himself extended even to his family,” Edward Gruver writes in “Koufax” (Taylor Publishing Company, 2000). “When his autobiography was published in 1966, his mother read it so she could learn more about her famous son.

‘You never tell me anything,’ she told him.”

PHOTOS BY ???????

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS

Family Tradition

“Koufax might be,” the Bleacher Report website opined in 2010, “the most famous hermit left in American ‘public’ life … after the death of J.D. Salinger earlier this year.”

His occasional public forays—throwing out a ceremonial first pitch at the Dodgers’ opening home game in 2008, attending a White House reception in honor of Jewish American Heritage Month in 2010—are headline news.

“Here’s a Sandy Koufax shocker: He’ll spend a night in the spotlight,” the Los

Robert Trujillo, 72, who grew up in New Mexico listening to the Dodgers’ games on radio, says he drove from his current home in Southern California to the spring training site in Glendale to get a pair of Koufax autographs for his grandchildren. He achieved his goal that day.

Steven Leibel, 51, who came from Long Island, says he heard Sandy Koufax stories as a kid from his father, a “rabid” baseball fan.

Mostly, he heard about Yom Kippur 1965.

“That was his top story. He kept telling that story.” Koufax’s decision that year “said the Jewish religion is more important than a baseball game.”

Now it’s Leibel’s top story. “My wife is from Israel. She doesn’t know baseball, but she loves to keep hearing that story.”

Leibel says his kids are too young to appreciate Koufax’s impact. They’ll hear more as they grow older — as Kyle did the other day here, when he got Koufax’s autograph.

The Koufax stories, the tale of the ’65 World Series, won’t stop with his children, Leibel says. He hopes his children will carry on the family tradition. “Hopefully they will continue to tell that story to their children.” A Steve Lipman is a contributing writer to Jewish Week. He can be contacted at steve@jewishweek.org.

JLife would like to thank the staff of Jewish Week and specifically author Steve Lipman for allowing us permission to run this article.

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Seniors

The good times have only just begun.

BRIDGING THE GAPS OF TIME

Day Care for Adult Community Members

BY FLORENCE L DANN

UNIVERSITY SYNAGOGUE IS initiating an Adult Day Care Program, Bridges—the first congregation in Orange County to do so. “The goal of this new program is to serve the needs of our congregation,” said Sue Penn, Director of Congregational Learning. “We have numerous members who require the kind of care that the Bridges Program will provide,” Penn added.

Pam Jacobs, a longtime professional in the field of adult day care, is coordinating the program with Penn.

The program was brought to University Synagogue by three members: Adrienne Sokols, whose husband suffers from Lew Body 36 OCTOBER 2014 |

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Dementia; Ora Wolf, a psychologist who works with the elderly; and Gail Resiman, a psychologist and gerontologist.

All three are professionals, but the program also seeks appropriate volunteers on an ongoing basis, people who will come in and help out one morning or afternoon per month. “In addition, we are looking for people who have specific skills who will come in and augment the program,” said Resiman.

“We will of course train the volunteers how to work with people,” said Resiman, “and eventually we are hoping that we will tie into gerontology internships.”

The Bridges Adult Day Program is designed for individuals with mild to moderate memory loss and cognitive decline. Participants will have opportunities to connect with their memories while creating new friendships and experiences.

They will also benefit from cognitive training and memory enhancement activities; social interaction; exercise and health promotion; recreational programs; and community and intergenerational involvement.

“I saw how the day program benefitted my husband and others in his group,” said Sokols, “while providing caregivers with much-needed respite.”

“Adrienne’s passion started the process, with the support and collaboration of synagogue leadership that ultimately led to implementation of the Bridges program,” said Wolf.

Beginning October 2, Bridges Adult Day Care sessions will be held on Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. The fee is $70/day ($60 for first 10 enrollees) and includes a nutritional lunch and snacks throughout the day. An $85 one-time non-refundable fee covers assessment to determine individual/program compatibility. This program is not just for synagogue members or for Jewish seniors, but is open to the entire community.

“I know that these programs help the person maintain functioning longer,” said Sokols, “and enable the caregiver to be more effective and to delay or prevent institutionalization.”

Adult day care offers a win/win situation for everyone in the family—for the client or member who attends the program, for other family members and, of course, for the primary caregiver. Prospective participants and families are invited to contact Sue Penn at spenn@ universitysynagogue.com or (949) 554-4545 to learn more about US Bridges. A Florence L Dann, a fourth-year rabbinical student at the Academy for Jewish Religion in L.A., has been a contributing writer to JLife Magazine since 2004. She served as the Vice President of the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation West Coast and currently teaches English as Second Language to adults.

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Seniors

Focusing on your physical health can improve your mental health as well.

THE NEW PULSE OF SENIOR LIFE Fresh Experience for Today and Tomorrow

BY GERI DORMAN

DID YOU RECEIVE an AARP card at age 50? Congratulations on becoming the new vital senior of today! By 2015, those aged 50-plus will represent 45 percent of the U.S. population, according to the AARP. This includes Baby Boomers, ages 50 to 68, and the “oldest old,” seniors 90 or over, whose population will quadruple by 2050, with many celebrating 100th birthdays.

Adults are living longer and are healthier, better educated and more involved in the world than prior generations. In the years beyond mid-life, people are entering an 38 OCTOBER 2014 |

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additional vital period of their lives where they have more choices. This growing group is interested in all aspects of learning and wellness for the body, spirituality, vocational meaning, emotions, and social, intellectual and physical enhancement. Experts say they are changing how society understands retirement and creating a new model for what can be done later in life. At the JCC, we encourage people to achieve physical goals, bond in social relationships, explore their spirituality, engage in wellness, volunteer, play games and become lifelong learners.

Lifelong learning at the JCC has become a popular activity, providing an enriching experience that enhances brain health and pleasure and develops one’s interests. Seniors are not only returning to learning to explore personal interests, but also to learn new retirement careers. Many are engaging in “encore careers” as volunteers or workers, giving back to the community in education, healthcare and nonprofit settings. For example, Judy took the News & Views class at the JCC and decided to become involved in politics and work for a candidate. Steve became a docent for the Anne Frank exhibit at the JCC and is now doing volunteer work in teaching teens about the Holocaust. Others are taking courses for pleasure or personal fulfillment because they have not had this opportunity in their earlier education when they were focused on a degree, careers and family.

The Merage JCC offers adults lifelong learning classes geared toward a variety of interests, including history, current events, Israel, health and wellness, games, Jewish experiences, book discussions, art and technology.

Try out our next Lunch & Learn series, The Chosen Food: Cuisine, Culture and American Jewish Identity, on Tuesdays, Oct. 7, 14, 21, 28 and Great Jewish Americans 101: Rodgers with Heart on November 9 at 4 p.m. Join our JCC at a docent tour with lunch and transportation by a luxury coach to the Skirball Cultural Center in L.A. and see their newest exhibits. We invite you to enrich your lives with us at the Merage JCC. See our website www.jccoc.org/adults/clubsinterest-groups/ or call (949) 435-3400 x 303 to learn more. A Geri Dorman is a contributing writer to JLife Magazine.

Jlife

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Seniors

Now is the time to really hit your stride.

HONORING OUR FATHERS AND MOTHERS Heritage Pointe celebrates 25 years.

BY FLORENCE L DANN

THE JEWISH COMMUNITY has always embraced the Fifth Commandment as one of the important values of Judaism. So when a 1985 study conducted by the Jewish Federation revealed that a home for the elderly was sorely needed in Orange County, two 40 OCTOBER 2014 |

Jlife

women stepped up and spearheaded the capital campaign that was to eventually result in the establishment of the first Jewish home for the elderly. Meryl Schrimmer and Loretta Modelevsky both strongly believed it was imperative to develop a home for the aging in

our community.

Moldelevsky’s motivation came from her experience in St. Paul, Minn., which has a small but strong Jewish community. “My mother lived in the Shalom Home, and it was wonderful,” she said. “When we moved to OC, there was very little Jewish. I was very interested in having a Jewish home here.”

Schrimmer was aware of previous failed attempts to create a home for the elderly.

“I didn’t want this community need to be shelved again as it had been in the past,” she said. “Knowing that hundreds of seniors from all walks of life would live a quality lifestyle there was an inspiration.”

“Meryl and I rolled up our sleeves and got to work,” said Modelevsky. Using their contacts, hosting dinners and spreading the word, they developed the chapter program, similar to the guilds formed for the music center.

Eight chapters were developed, which in turn drew support from the Jewish community.

“We called our friends, who in turned called their friends,” said Modelevsky.

Heritage Pointe’s comprehensive healthcare services, on-site synagogue, traditional Judaic programs and strictly kosher kitchen serving three meals a day make this a truly unique environment. Other amenities include a swimming pool, library, putting green, beauty salon and computer room, just to name a few.

Heritage Pointe is more than just “an old folks home.” It is a nonprofit, 200-resident community that provides independent, assisted and memory care services for the elderly.

Independent seniors have weekly outings, such as trips to the beach, casino, restaurants, theater and much more.

“This isn’t just a place to live,” said Ellen Weiss, Director of Community Engagement and Philanthropy. “It is a place to thrive.”

While Heritage Pointe has always fostered lifelong learning, now the residents themselves

F E AT U R E S

We provide experienced In-Home Caregivers, CNAs & HHAs on hourly or live-in basis.

It isn’t just a place to live…it’s a place to thrive.

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are participating in that endeavor. “Residents have begun teaching each other and have started to print their own newsletter, ‘The Residents’ Voice,’ about what is happening.”

And it’s about fun as well. Every year the community has big parties including a senior prom, casino night and New Year’s Eve. This year they also held a country western barbeque and a butterfly release.

“Adopt a Gran” is an intergenerational program in which a bar/ bat mitzvah is paired with a resident who has similar interests, and they visit for 13 weeks. Many continue to visit for months and in some cases years after the formal completion of the program.

“You can build a place and have the rooms,” said Weiss, “but you need to have people connect. Here folks who have lost friends can build new connections.”

For those residents in need of little to moderate assistance, Heritage Pointe has an experienced staff that includes an on-site Administrator (RN), nurses, medical technicians and caregivers, who provide residents with exceptional care. This community is specifically designed to create a soothing and nurturing atmosphere, minimizing disorientation and enhancing individual successes.

In 2008, The Ruth Feuerstein Residence opened for those needing a specialized level of care. It is an intimate 16-bed facility for residents with memory care issues. This community includes a separate kosher dining room and outdoor and common areas, including a secure garden area, to promote the best quality of life possible for residents.

The upcoming Heritage Pointe 25th Anniversary Gala in November will honor their past founders. Most of the money raised will fund scholarships for those residents who need financial assistance. But it will also mark the beginning of a renaissance. “We will be expanding our lifelong learning, updating the campus and introducing some new programs,” said Weiss.

“We are always seeking volunteers,” said Modelevsky, who has been involved for the last 21 years as Volunteer Coordinator. “I have had the privilege of meeting every volunteer and resident during that time,” she said. “It has been a blessing.” Most of the residents feel the same way! A Florence L Dann, a fourth-year rabbinical student at the Academy for Jewish Religion in L.A., has been a contributing writer to JLife Magazine since 2004. She served as the Vice President of the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation West Coast and currently teaches English as Second Language to adults.

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| OCTOBER 2014 41

F E AT U R E S

Seniors A caretaking role reversal later in life can bring many blessings.

TURNING THE TIDE Caring for Our Aging Loved Ones

BY LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY.D.

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F E AT U R E S

BABY BOOMERS ARE getting older. Why is this important? that “barring severe mental illness, chronic violence, and addiction, Because, according to statistics, Boomers make up 24.3 percent of the most parents do their best for their children. And as such, model for total U.S. population of approximately 315,000,000; by 2030 one in them how families hold each other up to the light and care for each five Americans will be older than 65. They are the largest generation other during good, but especially difficult times.” But not everyone is intended to care for an aging loved one; not everyone has the of Americans born in the United States. financial, social, or psychological means to For those unfamiliar with the demographic make that commitment. However, there is a classification, Baby Boomers are those indireciprocal responsibility one has to his or her viduals born between 1946 and 1964. The postparents or loved one that cannot be abandoned.

World War II birth explosion peaked in 1957 at Keeping in mind, of course, that this happens 4.3 million and capitulated to Generation X in in a healthier family structure—it does not and 1965. As people born after World War II and may not happen for every family. And not every after the Korean War age, the younger Baby Not everyone has Baby Boomer is going to “allow” a child or Boomers, Gen Xers and Gen Yers are preparing the financial, social, loved one to take on that responsibility. to care for those who need assistance. This is or psychological How does one approach the difficult topic of significant because many parents are moving letting a loved one know there is concern that means to make that back in with children and many children are he or she can no longer live independently? commitment. taking on the caregiving role for loved ones.

It is not an easy topic to broach. The loss of The loved ones being cared for are not necesindependence and the realization that you are sarily parents. They are grandparents, aunts, no longer able to care for yourself are developuncles, family friends and sometimes siblings. Regardless of the relamental milestones that leave everyone involved confused, angry and tionship, they are people who now must rely on the help of others. afraid. But it is approachable, said Durbach. How does one approach What does that involve? And how does one care for oneself while carthe topic of being cared for? It is a conversation Durbach has often ing for a loved one? JLife sought the input of seasoned social workers with an older adult: “Not in spite of the fact, but because you taught in the Orange County Jewish Community who provide support to your children this—you modeled for your children how families wrap families dealing with these very questions. It may seem to be a dauntaround each other and take care. Because you were such an excellent ing task, but there are options. teacher and it is a natural cycle of life for your children to do this with One thing to remember, said Older Adult Care Manager Nadine Continued on page 44 Durbach, MSW, of Jewish Federation & Family Services (JFFS), is

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| OCTOBER 2014 43

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Seniors

Continued from page 43

you.” By having this conversation and by setting the framework, we allow our older loved ones to maintain dignity and independence.

The following is a Q&A with social workers Cally Clein and Nadine Durbach, both social workers with JFFS. How do I know when it is time for my aging relative to have assistance? First, with regard to choosing assistance, families should always focus on the loving, caring, and nurturing aspects and provide as much unconditional support and emotional support necessary to making this decision. The management aspect should be left to professionals who deal with elder care. The following red flags were put together by professionals at JFFS [in the document “When Do I need A Care Manager?”] to provide peace of mind: • If problems become more time-consuming than you can handle given the other demands in your life • If you notice a decline in physical health, increasing signs of confusion, and inability to handle routine tasks • If your family members cannot agree on how to care for your loved one • If you are uncomfortable leaving your loved one at home alone • If you live out of town • If you are worried that your loved one is at risk for fraud or is being taken advantage of Why do I have to use a professional? Using a professional will reduce the time it takes because the professional can make appropriate referrals much faster than the family member can on his or her own. It will reduce the tension inherent when adult children step in to manage affairs and reduce role reversal tensions and relationship stressors.

The following are some steps to using Care Management [as found in JFFS’s “How Does Care Management Work?” by Terry Moses, Cally Clein, LCSW, and Nadine Durbach, MSW]: Step One: Personalized Assessment A home visit is paid to personally evaluate all the areas in which you or your loved one may need assistance. Assessment fees include an evaluation of physical and emotional health, social activity, home safety and maintenance, need for transportation, housekeeping, meal preparation, errands, bathing, dressing, legal advisement and financial management. The JFFS Care Manager then outlines areas of concern with specific actions to address short- and long-term needs.

Step Two: Personalized Care Plan The care plan is a roadmap for the future, with recommendations for how to proceed in every area; the recommendations can be implemented by family members, by the care manager, or by both. You decide how much or how little you want professionals to be involved depending on financial resources available.

Step Three: Implementation Because care management is based on a personalized care plan, it looks different for every person. Here are some tasks you can expect the care manager to do: • Arrange and monitor in-home care, housekeeping, and other services provided in the home • Make arrangements and coordinate with physicians, caregivers, therapists, and other care professionals to optimize the quality and efficiency of care • Review financial and legal issues and offer referrals to qualified specialists

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• Provide education on alternative living options and make referrals to appropriate providers • Facilitate adjustment to a retirement community, assisted living facility or nursing home [Some options include Heritage Pointe, TrueNeighbors Village, Bubbe and Zayde’s Place, Laguna Woods Village, and other Jewish assisted living communities.]

• Act as a liaison to families, providing regular progress calls, and quickly alerting family members to problems • Facilitate expedited delivery of health equipment • Advocate with service providers for quality, cost, and accessibility of care • Advocate for hospitalized client and family • Assess medication management system • Offer counseling and emotional support There is no need to take on the task of caring for another by oneself: contact JFFS at (949) (435.3460. For additional information on this topic and available resources you can contact JLife Magazine at editorjlife@gmail.com.

This article is Part One of a two-part series focusing on caring for aging loved ones. This month focuses on how to know when it is time to seek help and what that assistance entails. Make sure to read next month’s issue to find out more about caring for aging loved ones, long-term care options, and handling the care of a geographically distant loved one. A Dr. Lisa Grajewski is a psychologist working toward licensure.

She is a therapist with Jewish Federation Family Services and is a psychological assistant for a private practice in Tustin. Dr. Grajewski has been writing for JLife since 2004.

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Seniors

ROUND TWO Encore Careers After Retirement

BY FLORENCE L DANN

A second career can be just as enjoyable as your first (if not more so).

WHEN MY FATHER was 60 years of age, his printing business went bankrupt. He had one daughter about to enter college and another one about to get married. A printer and an independent man all his life, he turned his lifelong passion of ballroom dancing into a thriving business by becoming a premier dancing teacher. His small school and reputation flourished; later on he credited this change of careers to saving his life. He continued teaching until well into his 90s.

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or imposed has many seniors thinking very differently than previous generations. The old stereotype of the 65-year-old trotting off to a sun-filled life of leisure is quickly becoming a thing of the past.

Many older adults can’t afford to stop working. They may not have traditional pensions, or perhaps the recession pummeled their investments. But even if they don’t get paid, older adults want to remain connected, relevant, useful and engaged.

While for some people, this involves paid, part-time work related to a social mission,

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How deep are the roots of “your” family tree?

often in the nonprofit or public sector, for others, it might be volunteer work, another full-time job, a new business or even a sharper focus on a hobby or recreational pursuit.

People are eager to use this time to discover new possibilities and make new life choices.

Once Barbara Sloate retired from her event planning business, a variety of opportunities presented themselves to her. “When you are an event planner, the nonprofit sector seeks you out because your talent is so useful,” said Sloate. The one thing she did know was that “I didn’t want to stay home watching TV and hanging out with others in my age group,” Sloate added. She wanted to stay connected with people of different ages. As a result, Sloate spends six months every year planning for the Strawberry Festival—and working with the celebrities arranging transportation and their VIP treatment. But Sloate is also involved with nonprofit groups.

“One of my favorite involvements is with OCCORD—Orange County Communities Organized for Responsible Development,” she said. “Every few months they hold citizenship fairs to help folks complete the complex citizenship forms.” Sloate points out that you have a completely different mindset when you use the skills you developed during your career and apply them to a project of your

choosing. “The effort is the same but there is less pressure,” she added. A few years ago, Sandy Bursten, a longtime friend, invited her to become involved with yet another nonprofit organization, the Orange County Jewish Genealogical Society.

Bursten had a successful career in the area of human resources, but when it was time for her to retire, she decided to pursue a longtime interest of hers: “I had always been interested in my own family history and had started to work on it years earlier.” Some time in the 1980s, Bursten attended the Israeli Fair, and there was a table for the OC Jewish Genealogy Society. “That got me going to the meetings where I learned how to investigate my family history,” she said. “I discovered a second cousin in Cincinnati who had the same greatgrandfather.” Since then they have become fast friends and genealogy buddies; the other find was locating family in Argentina. That group folded and was out of business for 10 years; but, while serving on the board of Heritage Pointe, Bursten met another interested party who suggested they reinstitute the OC Jewish Genealogical Society. A few interested people met in July 2011, and that was the beginning. Bursten serves as Vice President and recently attended an annual meeting of the International Association of Jewish Genealogy

Older adults want to remain connected, relevant, useful and engaged.

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Society in Salt Lake City, with over 600 attendees.

The Society holds monthly meetings at Temple Bat Yam, where they maintain a library of about 120 books, all related to Jewish Genealogy and genealogy in general. There are beginner’s workshops where people learn how to trace their family histories and can receive one-on-one help as well.

One of the highlights of all this work for Bursten was in June of this year, exactly 200 years after her great grandfather was born in 1814, when members of the family from all over the country, and even Argentina, attended a family reunion. What a celebration!

When Larry and Linda Seidman reached the point in their lives where one asks, “So what do we want to when we retire?” they suspected the answer would have everything to do with Jewish learning. Both were still working when they came upon the ad for the Academy for Jewish Religion in Los Angeles. “I signed up immediately, but had no idea where it would lead,” said Rabbi Larry Seidman. “I discovered that I could get a degree part time and be ready for retirement—whatever that might bring.”

“I flunked out of retirement,” said Linda Seidman. She had gone back to work. But after attending one of Larry’s classes, she was hooked and though she continued working, also began taking classes. Both are now rabbis.

During their internship under the auspices of the JFFS, they both worked as chaplains in the Orange County Jail System and continue to serve in that capacity. “We developed a program for the jail that never existed in any form before,” said Rabbi Larry.

In addition to the CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) training they have both had, Rabbi Linda has also had Sheriff ’s training and is a counselor for the probation department. This was something they never thought they would be doing, but both derive great satisfaction from the work. “When you work in the jails,” said Rabbi Linda, “and see how people are so responsive and thrilled for you to be there, it makes you feel very special.” Rabbi Linda also does a great deal of hospice work and conducts Shabbat services in Senior Centers.

In Orange County, even though almost 80 percent of Jews are unaffiliated, they want to celebrate certain life cycle events—thus there are a lot of unmet needs within our community. Because they are independent rabbis, the Seidmans have the opportunity to perform a wide range of life cycle events that are both unique and highly individualized. “We work very hard to develop a creative and innovative approach to each ritual for each individual,” said Rabbi Larry. “You could say that this is a different kind of ‘hobby.’ We have the time to make event very special.”

It used to be generally considered that there were three stages in our lifespan—the learning stage, the work stage and the retirement stage. However, we are moving into a time when those stages are merging, and we can look forward to experiencing lifelong learning, work and play. A Florence L. Dann, a fourth-year rabbinical student at the Academy for Jewish Religion in L.A., has been a contributing writer to JLife since 2004. She served as the Vice President of the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation West Coast and currently teaches English as Second Language to adults.

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If you out-live your resources in Independent Living, Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing through no fault of your own, Freedom Village can make up the difference. * Transportation is available to Temple Judea on Friday evenings.*

(949) 340-8108

23442 El Toro Road • Lake Forest 92630 www.freedomvillage.org

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PROFILE

It takes a village.

A PHOENIX RISING The Rebuilding of Temple Beth Sholom

BY LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY.D.

ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2014, over 500 TBS congregants, families and friends gathered for the ground-breaking ceremony at the TBS location. Despite the recordbreaking heat, the gathering was festive and everyone attending appeared excited and hopeful about the rebuilding. In addition to breaking ground, the synagogue honored the fire department that responded to the devastating fire in February.

The new structure is a compilation of synagogue members, architects and construction companies. Facing an estimated cost of $12 million to complete the project, the TBS Living Legacy Campaign and Emergency Fire Fund has raised $6.5 million to date. Staff, 50 OCTOBER 2014 |

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such as Susie Amster, Director of Living Legacy, and the synagogue’s clergy, Rabbi Heidi Cohen, are as involved and dedicated to the process of rebuilding as much as the volunteers and professionals. But where would a Capital Campaign be without the volunteers? The Ground Breaking Committee is co-chaired by synagogue members Jeff Merkow, Joyce Mogabgab and Hollis O’Brien; the Living Legacy Committee is chaired by Jeff Winston; and the Capital Campaign Committee is co-chaired by Bernie Horowitz and Linda Weissberg. On the construction side, The CORE Architectural Committee is co-chaired by Dan and Linda Weissberg; CORE professional consultants are Richard

Berliner, Principal and Lead Architect; Scott Nusinow, Project Manager Architect, and Minah Yeo, Design Architect. JR Van Dijs, Inc. and Del Amo Construction are the construction manager and estimators respectively.

Major donors have also contributed, and longstanding pillars of the Jewish Community, such as the Horowitz Family (Bernie and Brad) and the Fainbarg Family (Alan and Sandy,) continue to contribute significantly to TBS. Bernie Horowitz joined the synagogue close to 50 years ago, along with his wife Maxine (z”l); the Fainbargs were founding members of TBS. It was a beautiful day for a ground-breaking, and to see the smiles and determination of TBS staff, clergy, members and friends was worth the heat. Sharing memories, and reflecting on the past several decades since the inauguration of the synagogue, the TBS Ground Breaking was really a celebration of the future. And in spite of the unforeseen circumstances of the fire, you can believe it when the Campaign resounds, “We can. We will. Rebuild TBS!” A Dr. Lisa Grajewski is a psychologist working toward licensure. She is a therapist with Jewish Federation Family Services and is a psychological assistant for a private practice in Tustin. Dr. Grajewski has been writing for JLife since 2004.

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out&about BEN KWELLER Jewish Indie musician Benjamin Lev “Ben” Kweller is known for his singing, songwriting and talent with multiple instruments. Kweller will be at the Observatory in Santa Ana on Oct. 2. A former member of Radish, Kweller has released five solo albums and appeared on several collaborations. Kweller was born in San Francisco in 1981 and in 1982, his family relocated to Emory, Texas, where his father, Howard Kweller, became the town’s first doctor. Kweller now lives in Austin, Texas with his wife and two children.

CARBON LEAF Carbon Leaf is a five-piece indie rock band from Richmond, Va., known for their alt-country, Celtic and folk-infused indie rock. They played the college circuit in Virginia and along the East Coast before moving on to bigger venues.

The group will be playing at the Coach House on Oct. 5.

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CATHEDRALS OF SOUND Revel in awe-inspiring sound at the Performing Arts Center Oct. 23-25 when the William J. Gillespie Concert Organ brings Respighi’s “Church Windows” to life.

TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers will be at the Honda Center on Oct. 7, joined by special guest Steve Winwood.

The group has sold over 60 million records, and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002.

KINGS OF LEON The cool southern rockers Kings of Leon are on the road for their “Mechanical Bull” Tour, which will stop at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater Oct. 5. They will show off their latest material from the album “Beautiful War,” performing songs such as “Supersoaker,” “Rock City” and past hits. Up-and-coming band Young The Giant will be opening the show.

ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE | October 2014

October brings the chilly air of the fall season and the spooky festivities of Halloween. Here are some ways to join the ghostly spirits this month in great entertainment happening around the OC.

Tony Bennett

Craig Ferguson Comedian and actor Craig Ferguson will take the stage at City National Grove of Anaheim on Oct. 25. Ferguson got his start in the entertainment industry as a drummer for some of the worst punk bands in the UK. He transitioned to standup comedy, which later developed into acting.

He played Drew Carey’s boss, Nigel Wick, in “The Drew Carey Show” from 1996-2003.

Screening of “Hairy Who & The Chicago Imagists” Join the Orange County Museum of Art’s Cinema Orange for a special screening of the 2014 documentary “Hairy Who & The Chicago Imagists”

by Leslie Buchbinder.

This documentary takes a lighthearted look at the Second City scene that challenged Pop Art’s status quo in the 1960s, then faded from view.

Forty years later, its funk and grit inspire artists from Jeff Koons to Chris Ware, making the Imagists the most famous artists you never knew.

Laguna Beach Playhouse Laguna Beach Playhouse will host The Year Of Magical Thinking Oct. 8 through Nov. 2. Based on Joan Didion’s National Book Award-winning memoir, “The Year Of Magical Thinking” is the remarkable story of loss, journey, and the ultimate triumph of the human spirit. This play is a tribute to an extraordinary marriage and a love letter to Didion’s daughter who passed away.

Orange County Center for the Performing Arts On Oct. 18 and 19, the Orange County Center for the Performing Arts

will host theatre company Kwatta’s workup of an almost forgotten 1968 book by Paul Gallico, “Manxmouse: The Mouse Who Knew No Fear,” which tells the story of a deformed, brave little mouse on a special journey. The structure of the play makes the story playful, lighthearted and musical.

Tony Bennett will perform on the Segerstrom Hall stage Oct. 5 singing some of his classic hits including “Because of You,” “Rags to Riches,” and a remake of Hank Williams’ “Cold, Cold Heart.” He has had 24 songs in the Top 40, including, “I Wanna Be Around,” “The Good

Life,” “Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me)?” and his signature song, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco,” which garnered him the first two of his 17 Grammy Awards.

Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall will feature a night with The London Philharmonic and pianist Jean-Efflam Bavouzet on Oct. 11.

Segerstrom Hall welcomes Susan Boyle Oct. 16 and Billy Childs Oct. 17. For tickets or more information on events happening at the Orange County Center for the Arts, call the box office at (714) 556-2787 or visit them online at www.scfta.org.

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PHOTO BY ISOBEL WIELD

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Butternut squash doubles nicely as a festive bowl.

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PHOTO BY JOSH MONKEN

Celebrate the beautiful array of choices that cooking with veggies brings.

VEGGIE-TASTIC Fresh vegetables take center stage for Sukkot.

BY JUDY BART KANCIGOR

When it comes to Jewish holidays, we either feast or fast. With Yom Kippur behind us, Jews the world over prepare for the joyous feast of Sukkot, which begins at sundown on October 8, by constructing booths (sukkot) within which we are commanded to eat and sleep during the weeklong festival.

Also called “Z’man Simchateinu” (Season of Our Rejoicing), Sukkot is the harvest festival mentioned in Leviticus 23:34-39.

The temporary shelter of the sukkot recalls our 40-year wanderings in the desert after receiving the Torah at Mt. Sinai. Lying closer to the heavens, generations of our ancestors have rejoiced to enjoy the fruits of their labors as the growing season culminated in bushels of plenty.

While you’d hardly know it from the diet of most Ashkenazic cultures (beets and cabbage being notable exceptions), Jewish cuisine, at

least in the Mediterranean, from Biblical times has had a long love affair with vegetables, and what better time to show them off than Sukkot.

Because the Sukkot table is farther away from the kitchen, traditional dishes for this holiday are easily transportable one-dish stews and casseroles. Stuffed vegetables are a popular choice, particularly in Israel, where every Sephardic and Oriental culture has a favorite recipe. Stuffed Butternut Squash from “Jewish Traditional Cooking” by Ruth Joseph and Simon Round makes a festive addition to the Sukkot celebration.

“Turkish cooks are masters of the stuffed vegetable,” noted Clifford A. Wright, author of “Mediterranean Vegetables” (Harvard Common Press $29.95), “but you find stuffed vegetables very popular with Arabs too.” Wright includes delicious recipes for

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Jewish cuisine, at least in the Mediterranean, from Biblical times has had a long love affair with vegetables.

stuffed artichokes, eggplant, grape leaves, mushrooms, onions, chard and yellow peppers. (For his “Stuffed Eggplant in Olive Oil” go to www.cliffordawright.com.)

Subtitled “A Cook’s ABC of Vegetables and Their Preparation in Spain, France, Italy, Greece, Turkey, the Middle East, and North Africa, with More than 200 Authentic Recipes for the Home Cook,” my food-splattered edition of “Mediterranean Vegetables” has become an invaluable resource. From the esoteric acanthus-leaved thistle to the more common zucchini, Wright lists each plant’s characteristics and varieties, its botanical and etymological origin and instructions for growing, buying, storing and preparing them.

Most fascinating is the history of each vegetable through the ages. In Sicily ingesting eggplant was once thought to lead to insanity, and it was called “mad apple.”

The ancient Romans used cabbage to prevent a hangover, and the Egyptian Copts placed cucumber leaves mixed with salt on women’s breasts to promote milk production.

My favorite one-dish vegetable casserole is ratatouille, perfect for Sukkot’s harvest celebration, but I make it all year long as well. My recipe yields a large batch, which I often bring to potlucks, or I freeze it in smaller portions to slather on fish for baking or to stuff an omelet. Intimations of that lovable Disney rat aside, ratatouille is not the quintessential Provençal dish many believe it to be. “Ratatouille is actually a relatively modern invention,” said Wright, “one that could not occur until the tomato came from the New World.”

Interestingly, “Mediterranean Vegetables” does not mention Israeli cuisine. “I don’t believe there is such a thing,” Wright told me.

“Its origins in the Mediterranean are mostly in the Arab world. Jews who came from Arab countries – Iraq, Tunisia, Libya, Syria and of course Spain too – brought with them their cuisine. There really is little difference between Jewish cuisine and the local cuisine in which it finds itself. What makes it different is it is almost exclusively connected with holidays and the self-realization on the part of the Jewish community that these dishes are special to those holidays.

“And to those who think the Arab-Israeli conflict is hopeless, remember, Arabs and

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There really is little difference between Jewish cuisine and the local cuisine in which it finds itself.

Jews lived together for thousands of years, and this conflict actually began historically only recently,” added Wright, who began his career in the field of international affairs and is a former executive director of the American Middle East Peace Research Institute. “Look at the Spanish Jews who were expelled during the Inquisition. Although some went to Germany, the majority went to Muslim lands.

Why in the world would they escape to Muslim lands if there were not welcoming hands to greet them?”

Stuffed Butternut Squash “My husband’s favorite Sephardic-style recipe incorporates a whole butternut squash,” says Ruth Joseph in “Jewish Traditional Cooking,” “grown with love in his garden for Sukkot.”

Serves: 4-6 1 large butternut squash (at least 2 pounds) Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for brushing 1 large onion, roughly chopped 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 1 cup cooked green lentils (made according to package directions) 1 cup cooked brown rice (made according to package directions)

1

Preheat oven to 375 F. Cut squash in half, scoop out seeds, and discard. Make crisscross cuts into flesh; brush tops with a little oil.

Season well with salt and pepper and place in roasting pan. Bake until almost done, about 40 minutes.

2 In large saucepan, gently cook onions in oil until soft but not colored. Add garlic last 2 minutes of cooking. Add remaining ingredients. Correct seasonings.

3

Fill squash cavities with lentil-rice mixture; cover and bake until squash is very soft, about 20 minutes.

1 teaspoon sugar, or to taste (optional) A few strands saffron, steeped in a little hot water 8 ounces mushrooms, sliced Shaved Parmesan cheese (optional)

1 2

Heat oil in large pot over medium heat.

Judy’s Ratatouille

3 Stir in vegetables, green beans through zucchini, one variety at a time, cooking each about 5 minutes before adding the next.

These ingredients are not written in stone.

Feel free to add or subtract any you choose in whatever quantities you like. Just remember to add each vegetable according to its required cooking time.

Serves: an army!

About 1/4 cup olive oil 1 1/2 large onions, diced

4 Add stewed tomatoes and spices, stir, cover and cook until the carrots are almost done.

5 Add mushrooms; continue cooking. If too watery, cook uncovered until carrots are done.

Add salt and sugar, if using, to taste.

6 Turn into casserole; sprinkle with Parmesan, if desired.

2 stalks celery, sliced 1 teaspoon Hungarian paprika

1/2 cup currants

4 carrots, sliced

1/4 cup dill, finely chopped

1 eggplant, cubed, skin on

1/2 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped

2 peppers (one red, one yellow,) diced

1 1/2 teaspoons paprika

3 parsnips, sliced

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 zucchini, sliced

2 tablespoons tomato paste

2 cans (15 ounces each) stewed tomatoes, whizzed in food processor 1 teaspoon kosher salt, or more to taste Freshly ground black pepper

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1 teaspoon za’atar (find at Middle Eastern market) or thyme

Add onions and celery and cook until softened. Add paprika; cook and stir a minute or so.

1/3 cup pine nuts, toasted

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1 1/2 teaspoons herbs de Provence

Adapted from “Jewish Traditional Cooking” by Ruth Joseph and Simon Round

1 1/2 pounds fresh green beans, stems removed, sliced into thirds

2 tablespoons wine

1 1/2 teaspoons cumin powder

Jlife Food Editor Judy Bart Kancigor is the author of “Cooking Jewish” (Workman) and “The Perfect Passover Cookbook” (an e-book short from Workman), a columnist and feature writer for the Orange County Register and other publications and can be found on the web at www.cookingjewish.com.

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News&Jews OC JEWISH SCENE | OCTOBER 2014

Merage JCC Celebrates 10 Years!

The Merage JCC celebrated Labor Day with over 500 people—kids and adults alike—coming to enjoy its annual pool party. Open to the public, the event invited the entire community. Guests enjoyed Kosher barbeque, bounce houses, hula hoops and bingo, snow cones and popcorn, relay races, music and water slides, which all created a raucous end to summer.

Tarbut V’ Torah Brings Rabbi Telushkin to OC Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School and the Orange County Register co-sponsored and hosted Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, named by Talk Magazine (September, 1999) as one of the 50 best speakers in the United States, on Wednesday, September 17, 2014. The renowned author spoke to students during the day and then to the public at 7 p.m. at the Myers Theater at Merage JCC. Between talks was a VIP reception and a book signing for his recently released book, “Rebbe: The Life and Teachings of Menachem M. Schneerson, the Most Influential Rabbi in Modern History.”

Jews and Veggies Jews from Moishe House and the Deaf and Hard of Hearing community met at 118 Degrees in Costa Mesa to learn about what Judaism has to say about vegetarianism. Everyone learned about raw and processed foods, participated in a raffle, and took home great prizes. The event was made possible by a grant from the Rederman Family Foundation as part of the Schusterman Family Foundation’s global #MakeItHappen initiative. The Ruderman Family Foundation advances and advocates for the full inclusion of people with disabilities into the Jewish Community.

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News&Jews

Teens Up Their Game Seventy-seven teen athletes and coaches represented Team Orange County at the 2014 JCC Maccabi Games in Cherry Hill, New Jersey and Detroit, Michigan. They joined over 3,000 participants from across the globe for the largest gathering of Jewish teens in the world. The teens brought home 34 medals: 27 gold, two silver and five bronze.

Exploring Jewish Mysticism Through Text and Music The story of Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai and his son’s retreat to a cave to study Torah will be the subject of a county-wide Festival of Jewish Learning, to be held at CBI on Sunday, October 12 from 1:30 to 6:30 pm. The Festival will honor Rabbi Elie Spitz’s successful completion of a cycle of daf yomi (“page of the day”), in which Jews around the world commit to reading a set number of pages of the Talmud every day for seven years. Rabbis from across the county will lead small groups of adult learners in study of the Zohar, while children engage in crafts and other activities.

School Opens with a (Shofar) Blast On September 2, Irvine Hebrew Day School opened their doors to welcome their first kindergarten class. The festive celebration included hearing the sounds of the Shofar, dancing under a community chuppah, placing a mezuzah on the doorway and giving tzedakah. The students were thrilled to explore their classroom and play in their new Israel/Jewish-themed playground.

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IN MEMORIUM

JOAN RIVERS

THE JEWISH COMMUNITY HAS lost one of its funniest and most beloved members. Joan Alexandra Molinsky (June 8, 1933 – September 4, 2014), widely known as Joan Rivers, was a truly talented and remarkable woman. Her remarks on the glitterati of “Tinsel Town” never failed to pull any punches. She was able to do so because her record of work stood for itself. As a woman who made history blazing trails in a male-dominated industry, Joan Rivers earned our respect.

Rivers died due to complications incurred during a routine endoscopy, leaving her friends and family shocked by the news, considering it was a “minor procedure.”

JLife was actually scheduled to interview her for our next issue.

The whole team was delighted at the news and clamoring to be the one who got to interview her. Unfortunately, that interview will not be. More importantly, the world has lost a treasure with Ms. River’s passing. It is with heavy hearts that we say “Good-bye” to a legend.

Some may not have known this, but she was close friends with fellow Jewish funnyman, Howard Stern, appearing on his show several times over the years and matching his wit “tit-for-tat.” She had supported Stern when his own career had first been in gestation and then later in free-fall.

Perhaps it was Stern who summed it up beautifully by saying he could imagine her chasing Johnny Carson around Heaven with a baseball bat, referring to the estrangement that occurred after Rivers had left “The Tonight Show” to host her own, ill-fated talk show in the 1980s. At her funeral (that Stern was asked to officiate) he said more than once, voice clogging, that he “couldn’t imagine a world without Joan Rivers.”

Neither can we. A

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LIFESTYLE

LAUGHING IT OFF IN ORANGE COUNTY

Hoarding the Torch Bubbe’s Success and Succession Dear N.: So you’re a big writer now?

Thousands of people read your little column every month? Mazal tov. Then maybe you can tell your readers why you never call your mother.

At that fancy college your father and I paid for, they taught you not to care about your mother? Some college; decades later and you’re paid by the word. Nu, so you didn’t have a head for medicine or law, but I thought maybe a rabbi, they make a nice living and how hard can it be? A Bar Mitzvah here, a sermon there. On the other hand, to be honest—and I say this with love—you’re not so good with people, either, so maybe it’s for the best.

I’m going to a Sisterhood meeting now but if it’s not too much

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trouble maybe you can call me later. I don’t want to be a bother.

— Your Mother, Not That You’d Remember Dear Mom: First, I think it’s important to note that I called you three days ago.

Are you taking two Percocet at a time again?

Before judging, my readers should know that you aren’t exactly camped by the phone. Your social life is far more active than mine.

Tonight it’s Sisterhood; tomorrow mahjong with your girlfriends while stuffing envelopes for the Federation fundraiser. Then there are Senior Nights at the shul, Hadassah meetings, and the lecture series at the JCC attended only by retirees because it’s scheduled for 2 in the afternoon.

Our community has its priorities, for free, don’t we? True, when they and you are clearly among them. get there, they don’t know the We may be clueless about attracting difference between Ben Gurion and engaging the next crop of and Ben Gazzara. Day school young leaders, but we do love and Jewish summer camp would our seniors. And why not? You’ve have made a difference, sure; but spent your time and fortunes without community scholarships, building the familiar institutions who can afford such luxuries? that form the infrastructure of the Especially when even a no-frills American Jewish community. If bar mitzvah (say, 300 guests, plus these organizations fail to evolve band, photo booth, and Russian to serve the needs dance troupe) is of succeeding such a financial generations, is burden!

WHAT ARE that any fault of So, Mom, it all yours?

THOSE KIDS comes down to Nobody knows THINKING? priorities. You better than the are always one of bubbes and mine. And next zaydes populating time I’ll try to our fundraising committees that call earlier, before the pain killers programming for young leaders kick in. is a low return-on-investment proposition. They watch in despair as their grandchildren go to expensive colleges only to emerge as teachers, researchers, or writers. What are those kids thinking? It’s like they don’t even care that their names will never adorn a plaque in the social hall.

Besides, we send them to Israel

— Love, N.

N. Troyer urges you to call your mother and read her this article.

She’ll have a shayna gelechte and you’ll have something to discuss other than her latest medical complaint and your many shortcomings.

FINANCIAL FOCUS

dren; however, it’s unfair to both parties when a child is unknowingly named as an executor, a successor trustee or agent. If you are put in a position of authority in an estate document, it’s essential to closely examine the documents and disclose details of the assets on which you will make decisions.

Start by asking your parents to provide financial statements and a listing of account holdings; if they’re unwilling, you may be better served by asking them to name someone else. As the parent, if you feel you can’t trust your child with this information today, then why would you feel you could trust them (as your executor, trustee or agent) tomorrow? In that case, it might be better to name a trust company instead.

FINAL FINANCES Inheritance Questions You’re Afraid to Ask (or Answer)

BY LAUREN KLEIN, CFP, CDFA, MBA, EA

TALKING ABOUT MONEY is one of the last taboos in our society. People who willingly discuss their digestive issues or joint problems will invariably offer a huffy “that’s none of your business” when asked “How much do you make?” or “What’s your net worth?”

For many people, money is a matter of secrecy. Even as adults, many people have no idea how much their parents earn or have saved, nor have ever spoken to them of

estate planning. When it comes to families, the taboo on money conversations can cause real difficulties. As a financial planner, I’ve found many families follow the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule.

There are several common reasons why the discussion on inheritance planning doesn’t take place.

It’s none of my/their business.

Parents have no obligation to disclose their finances and estate plan to their chil-

I don’t want them to think I am greedy./They’ll take advantage of me.

A family with healthy boundaries around money probably hasn’t much to worry about. As a child, if you approach the topic from the standpoint of wanting to be fully prepared to carry out any duties bestowed upon you, I doubt your parents will believe anything other than your best intentions.

For parents, preparing a child for an inheritance is not only a prudent thing to do but also an act of chesed, a loving-kindness.

It will ruin our relationship.

One of the strongest arguments against talking about money is that it will permanently harm a relationship.

Being the first to break the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule isn’t easy. Yet having the courage to start a money conversation can create a legacy for the whole family, which can ultimately lead to better estate plans, more trust and a stronger relationship. A Founder of Klein Financial Advisors Incorporated, Lauren Klein is a Certified Financial Planner™ (CFP®) Practitioner, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA), and a NAPFA Registered Financial Advisor. Currently she serves on the Executive Board of the Jewish Federation and Family Services of Orange County, the American Jewish Committee, and on the Board of Directors of the Community Foundation of the JFOC. Lauren lives in Irvine, California.

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Are missil sirens and Iron Dome Updates becoming the “norm?”

WAR The New Normal for Israel?

BY MERAV CEREN

WE’VE KICKED OFF the high holidays here in Israel, and as the country begins to reflect on this last year, Operation Protective Edge will be at the forefront of conversations at every Rosh Hashanah dinner and Yom Kippur break-the-fast meal. In a fragmented war, Israelis showed uncharacteristic unity in our belief that fighting back against Hamas and taking the fight to our belligerent neighbors were the right things to do. What we seem to be debating most is whether that fight is over, and which politicians we trust to protect us best.

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year’s fight was different. This was war.

Our televisions were full of images of reinforced concrete tunnels and home videos of Iron Dome strikes. The defense system intercepted some 580 of the over 3,500 rockets which were launched at our homes.

Over 82,000 reservists were called up—our friends and family. We spent days in shelters, interrupting our daily lives to keep ourselves safe. This war shifted the conversation. It is difficult, if not impossible, to find an op-ed or article of any kind in Israeli media, whether Hebrew or English, which doesn’t acknowledge that the tunnels and rockets are intolerable and must be ended.

The Israel Democracy Institute (IDI), a think tank based in Jerusalem, published a poll at the end of July which claimed that over 95 percent of Israelis polled found the Operation justified. In a country in which argumentation in a national pastime, this is a shockingly high consensus.

Israelis also appear to have moved to the right politically. Polls show that, if Israel had elections today, right-wing parties Likud, HaBayit HaYehudi and Yisrael Beitenu would collectively hold 62 seats. That’s a huge jump compared to the 43 those three parties hold now. HaBayit HaYehudi and Yisrael Beitenu garnered much of this support during the war, when they openly attacked Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (Likud) for not being aggressive enough in the military campaign in Gaza.

Israelis were nervous and uncertain about ceasefire talks. This is understandable, as rockets fell in over ten ceasefire violations throughout the war.

We’re all waiting to see what Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas does, whether he severs ties with Hamas or continues to insist the group is a legitimate member of the Palestinian political system.

The same IDI poll from July showed almost 80 percent of Israelis don’t believe that negotiations with the Palestinian Authority will lead to peace in the coming years. This may be part of the reason so many Israelis have moved right. I’ve heard time and again that if we can’t trust the leaders across the Green Line, what’s the point in talking to them? As a student of international relations and someone who firmly believes in a two-state solution, I can only hope that a bit of leadership from Abbas may re-energize Israelis’ belief in peaceful coexistence. A Merav Ceren is a contributing writer to JLife magazine.

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| OCTOBER 2014 69

LIFESTYLE

The railway and tower at Auschwitz.

CHAPMAN HOUSES OUR HISTORY Holocaust studies in Orange County

BY ADAM CHESTER

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. This phrase becomes more prevalent as we delve into international conflicts and open our eyes to the world today.

However, how much do we know about our predecessors and their history in order 70 OCTOBER 2014 |

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to legitimately compare past and present?

How do we combat negatives of the past in order to never experience the atrocities suffered by our ancestors? How do we honor phrases like “Never Again?”

The answers are rooted in education.

Unfortunately, we’ll never learn enough about the past, as the narratives comprising it are too plentiful to be fully understood.

Another obstacle is today’s trend toward low levels of knowledge and high levels of opinion.

But, we can choose to learn the basis of historical issues, and we can translate this knowledge into better decision-making to avoid and defend wrongdoings, aiming at a brighter future.

This concept is applicable to anyone, but we’re Jews.

For those who have been to Israel, you’ve likely visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s memorial to Holocaust victims. You’ve walked the maze-like structure, learning in sequential order the history and successes of Nazi agenda and the atrocious loss endured by the Jewish people.

It’s an emotional environment meant to

LIFESTYLE

What will you personally do to honor those who have nobody to continue their legacy?

educate. However, Israel isn’t in proximity. Fortunately, though, Orange County has options for Holocaust education and survivor support, which many people are unaware of.

For example, Jewish Federation & Family Services provides assistance to Holocaust survivors and their families. The Rodgers Center at Chapman University is an educational outlet, housing the Samueli Holocaust memorial library.

Beyond meeting a survivor, which is unquestionably the most authentic way to learn history while opportunities still present themselves, diverse resources currently exist to further Holocaust awareness and education.

So when visiting museums or memorials, how do we obtain meaning from our experience?

Before going into Holocaust Centers, think about this: the pictures you see, the names you read, the videos you watch— these aren’t just history lessons. Rather, each name, face and story is more closely connected to you than you might realize.

Each person massacred in the Holocaust wasn’t just an additional number contributing to the 6 million.

Each was an individual. Each, part of a family: a parent or grandparent, a sister or brother. They had careers: farmers, doctors, merchants. Aspirations. Love stories. Plans for the future, and memories of their past.

What you’ll see aren’t just images of some distant scene. Their stories belong to you.

Each person had his or her life taken, often with no survivors to tell the story.

Think about why you’re standing there, and how you got there. How can you connect your physical and spiritual presence to your predecessors? What will you personally do to honor those who have nobody to continue their legacy?

The rhetoric of crisis has driven Judaism throughout history.

We must learn about our past to plan for our future; but what type of future we want, based on our past, is a question for the present. A Adam Chester is a contributing writer to JLife Magazine and the NextGen Outreach & Engagement Coordinator at Jewish Federation and Family Services.

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JFFS: JewGlue hosted “Jews Cruise” around Newport Harbor on August 23, bringing together 120 young Jews from Orange County and Los Angeles. Also, Shalom Family provided parents with a taste of a popular parenting technique at the “Positive Discipline: Tips & Tools” session. For more information about JewGlue and Shalom Family, please contact Stephanie Epstein, at (949) 435-3484.

JYA: Our Israel 101 Lecture & Q&A was such a success that we were thrilled to host Israel 200. This second lecture and discussion brought back Marshall Kaplan to lead a more in-depth conversation about various viewpoints circulating about Israel.

For more information about the J’s Young Adults, contact Elana Simon at ElanaSimon@jccoc.org.

TOP LEFT: Russell Goldberg, Lena Bakman, Bryan Howard, Roman Vilensky and Eric Halvorsen TOP RIGHT: Daniel Rosen, Amanda Wolff, Ari Lecitt, Danica Peterson and Barrett Davis MIDDLE RIGHT: Cassie Jacobs and Nir Ofer MIDDLE LEFT: Jill Sambol and Jason Brofman BOTTOM RIGHT: Robyn Slipakoff and Fayth Mahller

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF JACKIE MENTER OF JEWISH FEDERATION & FAMILY SERVICES

Orange Jews

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so By fa J e w is h M ille n nial.

Awkward!

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ometimes, when I laugh really hard, I fart. I got my first kiss at summer music sleep-away camp. After the kiss, I waited until the guy left for his cabin and I called my grandma from a pay phone and told her everything at midnight because I was so excited. When I was in kindergarten, I forgot my toy for “Show and Tell.” Well, I outsmarted the system and decided to focus on the word “tell”: I described what my mom looked like naked in the shower. I have an irrational yearning to meet Ben Stein, and sometimes when I meet new people, I blurt out random uncomfortable topics because I have no clue what to say. Why am I telling you this? Because I am trying to make a huge point (or embarrass myself and my family): we are all awkward human beings who have awkward moments in life.

Why is this important to understand?

Simply because when we realize that all individuals come with their own ball

c Ra

The reality is, we are all vulnerable at times.

of wax, it is easier to understand that they are still a part of our Jewish community. When I was little, I had a hard time feeling welcome by the Jewish kids at the synagogues my parents schlepped me. It was clear I was never a “cool” kid.

When I moved to Orange County, it was a challenge. I was a new kid once again.

However, being a bit more comfortable with myself, I found it easier to make a few more friends. These friends welcomed me, a very Jewish concept.

My issue is that there are still people who do not feel connected, who might be unaffiliated, or who are slightly awkward.

The reality is, we are all vulnerable at times. It is within our power to make others feel comfortable when we know they are experiencing these pesky moments.

Many of us are focusing on ways to grow Jewishly. I am challenging myself as well as others around me to acknowledge those of us who are different and extending an olive branch as a good faith effort to strengthen community ties and bring in

new faces to community events.

This is a reminder for all of us. As a community, we are a strong unit. No part of us is too small, too awkward to be welcomed. OC’s Jewish community cannot afford for us to feel divided or estranged.

Community-building is something we can all work on, and embracing our awkwardness and our neighbors’ may be a productive way of making new Jewish connections.

If you or someone you know would like to become a part of the Jewish Gen Y community in OC, please contact Jewish Federation & Family Services: NextGen, JewGlue, and Shalom Baby; Jewish Community Center’s JYA; and Moishe House of Orange County.

RACHEL SCHIFF

is an English teacher who graduated from Cal State Fullerton. She was president of Hillel, a representative of the World Union of Jewish Students and a YLD intern. Currently, she is a Master’s degree student in American Studies with emphasis on Jews in America.

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The battle to choose “good” over “bad” is one that never ends.

TRANSCENDING LIMITATIONS Touching the Divine.

BY RABBI DAVID ELIEZRIE

ON YOM KIPPUR, the holiest day of the year, we step away from the worldly and try to touch the Divine. Time is spent in prayer, reflection, fasting and repentance. One of the intriguing customs of the day is to dress in white. Many also have the tradition of wearing a kittel, a simple, white, unadorned robe, during services.

In ancient times, the highlight of the service on Yom Kippur in Jerusalem’s Holy Temple was the Kohen Gadol, the high priest, entering into the Holy of Holies1.

He would wear a simple white garment and pray for all. The white garments represent the ministering angels who serve G-d with 74 OCTOBER 2014 |

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pure spirit.

Angels exist in a spiritual dimension, a place of sanctity and holiness, where good and evil do not struggle, where the Divine is open and revealed. On Yom Kippur we seek to disconnect ourselves from the mundane world. For a brief moment in time we aspire to become more spiritual, more refined, more G-dly, more attuned with the dimension of angels then that of man.

We live in a physical world where G-dliness is hidden. The daily headlines— war, turmoil, jealous battles over business and politics, ego and self-centeredness— remind us of the fragilities of man. This is

what is open and revealed. Hidden beneath the surface is a spiritual dimension, one where sanctity prevails, and where the Divine and goodness are dominant.

The mission of a Jew is to reveal the inner good, the spiritual in the world. To imbue life with purpose and meaning. To create in what Jewish mysticism calls the “lower worlds” the physical dimension that we occupy every day, “a dwelling place for G-d.” The greatest struggle we all face in life is the daily one with ourselves. The battle to choose good over bad, altruism over selfcenteredness, purpose over the pursuit of pleasure. It is a battle that never ends. Daily we have to make dozens, if not hundreds of choices. Each time we need to ask ourselves if the decision we are making measures up to the lofty ideals as taught in the Torah, the blueprint for human existence One day a year we transcend that physical limitation. We fast, pray and meditate. We remind ourselves that by dressing in white, we are a bit like angels. That every human possesses a divine core, a G-dly essence. The innate spirituality gives us the capability to triumph over the hardships and challenges of life with meaning and purpose. A 1. During the time of the First Temple the Holy of Holies contained the pieces of the first tablets of the Ten Commandments, shattered by Moses after the sin of the golden calf, the second complete set, a Torah scroll written by Moses and manna that had fallen from heaven. These items were hidden before the destruction of the first Temple in 425 BCE. Many think they are embedded in hidden caverns in the Temple mount in Jerusalem.

Rabbi David Eliezrie is rabbi at Congregation Beth Meir HaCohen/Chabad. His email is rabbi@ocjewish.com.

LIFESTYLE

ORANGE COUNTY’S JEWISH HISTORY Fisher, Kolsky, Goldsmith & Baranovich: the Jewish Roots of Orange

BY DALIA TAFT

According to a 1979 Orange City News article by Ann Pauline Herrlein, the first store in Orange was opened by Jewish merchant Joseph Fisher in 1874. “By 1875 the value of unimproved land soared … Yet only one year before the first store had been built in Orange.

The store reportedly was operated by a Mr. Fisher.”

The business was located at the corner of Glassell St. and the Plaza, at what is 100 N. Glassell today, and was run by brothers Joseph and William.

They immigrated from Austria, and Joseph served in the Union Army during the Civil War. In 1878, after leaving Orange, he moved to West Texas and built up a large retail trade. His younger William Fisher, c. early 1900s. brother William stayed in the area a little longer and was naturalized in Los Angeles in 1879. The store passed through a number of different Jewish owners, including Abraham Kolsky, who then partnered with Lee Goldsmith (Kolsky & Goldsmith), who then partnered with a Mr. Baranovich (Goldsmith & Baranovich). In 1909 the store was torn down to make way for Campbell’s Opera House (now the Masonic Temple building).

Dalia Taft, archivist of the Orange County Jewish Historical Society, a Connect 2 People Initiative of Jewish Federation & Family Services, highlights images from the archives every month. For more information, please visit www.jewishorangecounty.org/historical. You can also contact Dalia at historical@jffs.org or at (949) 435-3484, ext. 167.

BLOGOSPHERE Jlife wants to acknowledge some of the interesting blogs related to the Jewish community. Enjoy!

Jewesses With Attitude — It Ain’t Easy Being A Feminist Sports Fan “Sure, we’ve got Mo’ne Davis and Serena Williams…” jwa.org/blog Italy’s ‘Little Jerusalem’ Opens The Doors To Jewish History “Twenty-seven European countries marked the European Day of Jewish Culture—an initiative aimed at opening the doors of Jewish communities, heritage sites and culture to the non-Jewish world, as well as deepening Jews’ own knowledge of their history in Europe.” www.npr.org/blogs/parallels Is Daas Torah for Real?

“There’s much confusion about the definition of Daas Torah; simply put it means the wisdom of Torah…” www.jewishpress.com/blogs

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WEDNESDAY, OCT. 8 (Temple Beth Tikvah) 11:00 AM “Writing for Reminiscences”/ Marty Silverstein MONDAY, OCT. 13 10:00 AM Tai Chi/ Jack Finkelstein 10:30 AM Stretching/Al Talberg 11:00 AM Sleeping Disorder/Bill Liu Ezra AAFC

SENIORS

CALENDAR OCTOBER 2014

MONDAYS 10:00 AM News & Views Merage JCC 11:30 AM Drop-in Bridge Merage JCC 7:00 PM Drop-in Mah Jongg Merage JCC

WEDNESDAY, OCT 1 10:30 – 11:30 AM Branding Yourself and Your Business Merage JCC

TUESDAYS 10:30 AM The View for Women of All Ages Merage JCC WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS 8:45 AM Gentle Yoga Merage JCC THURSDAYS 10:30 AM Drop-in Mah Jongg Merage JCC

MONDAY, OCT 6 10:00 AM Tai Chi/ Jack Finkelstein 10:30 AM Stretching/Al Talberg 11:00 AM What’s Up/ Bob &Ruth Wilkoff Ezra AAFC TUESDAYS, OCT. 7-28 11:00 AM – 1:00 PM Chosen Food: Cuisine Culture and American Jewish Identity Merage JCC 7:00 - 8:30 PM iphone Tips and Secrets Merage JCC

FRIDAYS 10:00 AM Men’s Club at the JCC Merage JCC

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THURSDAY, OCT 2 9:30 AM Keeping Fit/ Mel Grossman 10:30 AM League of Women Voters Ezra AAFC

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TUESDAY, OCT. 14 7:00 PM Men’s Wine Tasting Merage JCC WEDNESDAYS, OCT. 15 – DEC 3 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM Learn to Play Mah Jongg/8 classes Merage JCC WEDNESDAY, OCT. 15 10:30AM – NOON Women’s Connection Connected Relationships in Your Personal & Business Life Merage JCC OCT. 19 (sign up deadline) Trip: Sunday, November 2 9:00 AM- 5:00 PM Trip to Skirball Cultural Center Merage JCC MONDAY, OCT. 20 10:00 AM Tai Chi/ Jack Finkelstein 10:30 AM Stretching/ Al Talberg 11:00 AM Events that Changed the World/ Jerry Silverstein Ezra AAFC WEDNESDAY, OCT. 22 10:30 AM Writing Your Story Merage JCC WEDNESDAY, OCT. 22 (At Temple Beth Tikvah) 1:00 PM “Writing Reminiscences”/ Marty Silverstein THURSDAY, OCT. 23 9:30 AM Keeping Fit/ Mel Grossman 10:30 AM The New Testament/Jerry Silverman Ezra AAFC

WEDNESDAYS, OCT. 24 – NOV 15 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM Mah-Jongg Refresher & Strategies/ 4 classes Merage JCC MONDAY, OCT. 27 10:00 AM Tai Chi/Jack Finkelstein 10:15 AM Stretching/Al Talberg 11:00 AM Happy Hour/Allan Koven Ezra AAFC TUESDAY, OCT. 28 10:00 AM Books & Bagels The Lady in Gold by Anne Marie O’Connor Merage JCC TUESDAYS OCT. 28 – NOV 18 9:30 – 11:30 AM Intro to Bridge/ 4 classes Merage JCC THURSDAYS OCT. 30 – NOV 20 9:30 – 11:30 AM Intermediate Bridge: Slam Bidding and More/ 4 classes Merage JCC THURSDAY, OCT. 30 9:30 AM Keeping Fit/ Mel Grossman 10:30 AM Laughter Yoga for Seniors/ Pamela Lesczynsi 10:45 AM The Life & Music of Frederick Chopin/Pianist Yonnula Renee Ezra AAFC The Merage Jewish Community Center is located at 1 Federation Way Suite 200, Irvine, (949) 435-3400 x 303. For reservations please contact Geri Dorman, Prime Time Adult Director at: gerid@jccoc.org.

The Ezra Center is located at Temple Beth Emet on Monday & Thursday 1770 W. Cerritos, Anaheim, (714) 776-1103 and Temple Beth Tikvah on Wednesday, 1600 N. Acacia, (714) 871-3535.

Temple Bat Yahm is located at 1011 Camelback St., Newport Beach, (949) 854-8854. For reservations please contact Sandy Bursten at: sandybee1@cox.net.

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| OCTOBER 2014 77

Advertising Index 77 Allan Silverman

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9 Heritage Pointe

44 Burch, Coulston & Shepard, LLP

61 Jewish Federation and Family Services 15 Jon Strauss Real Estate 51 Klein Financial

69 Callahan & Blaine

49 Heritage Pointe at Home

37 Chapman University

77 Home Instead

69 L’Dor V’Dor

37 Chapman University Dale E. Fowler School of Law

64 Jason Novack Realtor

80 Leslie Aspis, DMD

4 Jewish Community Center

31 Marconi Auto Museum

11 Jewish Community Center

21 Michael Rubinstein Attorney at Law

15 Jewish Community Center

43 Mortensen & Reinheimer PC

19 Jewish Community Center

45 Mortensen & Reinheimer PC

3 Jewish Community Foundation

48 Naples Vacuum Elevators

5 Jewish Community Foundation

23 Newport Children’s Medical

7 Jewish Community Foundation

64 OC Helicopter

54 Coastal Fertility 31 Congregation Beth Jacob 13 Congregation B’nai Israel 14 Congregation B’nai Tzedek 51 Diller Teen 64 Dr. Ivar Roth 41 Eaton Unlimited 55 Eden Memorial Park 49 Edward Jones Investments (Jeff Brodnick) 49 Freedom Village 21 Gourmet Detective

78 OCTOBER 2014 |

17 Heritage Pointe Planned Giving

60 Jewish Federation and Family Services

Jlife

2 Jewish Federation and Family Services 14 Jewish Federation and Family Services 18 Jewish Federation and Family Services

77 Larry Kutinsky

41 Professional Health Care Services 6 Professional Health Care Services 4 Renaissance Club Sports

33 Rico Sicro State Farm 33 Rock Doctor 25 Segerstrom Center for the Arts 69 Solomon’s Bakery 21 Soul Mates Unlimited 71 South Coast Repatory Theater 4 Stegmeier, Gelbart, Schwartz & Benavente, LLP 14 Sun Soler US 59 24 Carrots 69 Taly Hypnosis 10 Temple Bat Yahm 15 Temple Beth El 11 Temple Beth Tikvah 69 Torah with Liora 79 Tustin Ranch Golf Club 33 University Synagogue 39 Walnut Village 29 Young Israel 69 Yuri Ausker DDS

Jlife

| OCTOBER 2014 79

OUR GOAL IS A CAVITY-FREE GENERATION.

treat their teeth with

love

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ORANGE COUNTY’S JEWISH YOUTH & PARENTS

Sightseeing, Sirens & Selfies A Very Unique Summer Vacation

Oh, Hello Fall!

Our Future Leaders Nurturing Your Kid’s Potential

When We Are Together, Autumn is Cooler than Ever OCTOBER 2014

G IN LL W LL RO O FA EN NOR F PRESCHOOL FOR CHILDREN AGES 26 Olam Programs • Ages 2-6 years old • Choice of two, three or five day classes • Half-day program: 8:30 to 12:00 • Full-day program: 8:30 to 2:30 • Full-day Plus: 8:30 to 5:30 • Early Care: 7:30-8:30 am

Extra-Curricular Activities These activities are available in addition to our Montessori curriculum. The instructors come to Olam once a week for families who are interested in additional programming.

• Gymnastics with Mr. Dean • Webby Dance • Play Ball • Summer Camp

“The child is both a hope and a promise for mankind.”

— Maria Montessori www.olamjewishmontessori.com info@olamjewishmontessori.com 3900 Michelson Drive · Irvine, CA 92612

Call for a tour! (949) 786-5230 2

3

a peek inside october 2014

also inside!

Editor’s Note 06 For October calendar events please visit:

www.ocjewishlife.com

07

08

BACK TO SCHOOL

OUR FUTURE LEADERS

It’s that time of year again. Welcoming your kids into a new school year and how to support their studies.

As the weather changes, we focus on the positive and nuture our children’s potential in life.

10

12

KOSHER DOG

SIGHTSEEING, SIRENS & SELFIES

Check out October’s new winners, the “hippest” little furry pets we could find.

We have a winner each month!

Despite volatile conditions, Temple Bat Yahm goes on a shell-shocked Summer vacation to the promised land.

Make your occasion unforgettable with the thrill of air combat action!

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• Groups up to 90 people

GET IN TOUcH wITH yOUr INNEr TOP GUN!

5

6

EDITOR’S NOTE

kiddish

PUBLISHER ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE EDITOR IN CHIEF TRACEY ARMSTRONG GORSKY, MBA CREATIVE DIRECTOR RACHEL BELLINSKY COPYEDITOR MICHELLE ITEN CONTRIBUTING WRITERS MELISSA KARR, AUDRA MARTIN, LISA MONETTE, SUE PENN, M. ED., HANNAH SCHOENBAUM ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES DIANE BENAROYA (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE) MARTIN STEIN

W

elcome to the new issue of Kiddish

(SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE)

Magazine. Here it’s October already…

EDITORIAL

technically two months into the fall

(949) 230-0581

season. However, here in beautiful Orange

County, California, it still feels like summer. Every year around this time, I look around at the bright sun, feel the blazing temperatures and think, “My, my… it must be another ‘Indian Summer.’” Honestly, though, it’s just what happens around here… every year. August gives way to September and September slips into October with many of us blissfully unaware of the “change in season.” Families still enjoy the same long, warm afternoons down by the beach or in their neighborhood parks. If it weren’t for the kiddies heading back to school, we might never notice a change in program at all.

But headed back they are, and with that comes a whole new

TARMSTRONG24@GMAIL.COM ADVERTISING (949) 812-1891

SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM ART

ART@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE AND KIDDISH IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE, LLC 1 FEDERATION WAY, IRVINE, CA 92603

year of exciting things they will learn… questions they’ll have for you. They’ll have pockets full of items and questions on their lips about the things they’ve discovered on their daily adventures out in the world. Hooray for those eager young minds we are blessed to have in our lives. May they forever keep us all young at heart and on our toes!

— Tracey Armstrong Gorsky, Editor in Chief

Editor Tracey Armstrong Gorsky is the managing editor for JLife and former editor and writer for Making Waves, Pet Product News, Veterinary Practice News and Surfing Magazine. She brings over ten years of writing and editing experience to Kiddish magazine and holds a Masters in Business Administration.

OCJL is published monthly by Orange County Jewish Life, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues).

Send subscription requests to OCJL, 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste. 204, San Diego, CA 92121. Orange County Jewish Life is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. Orange County Jewish Life is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements.

Orange County Jewish Life reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. OCJL is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to OCJL become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return of such material. Orange County Jewish Life is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

All contents © 2014 Orange County Jewish Life.

kiddish

7

OCTOBER

Back to School Getting Beyond “Fine” and “Good”

BY AUDRA MARTIN

H

ere in the OC, while fall

Asking your kids about their day can open a box full of surprises.

does not mean fall sweaters, it certainly does mean “Back to School.” Back to

heavy-laden schedules and carpools, homework and school lunches, sports and Hebrew school.

Back to the world of “fine” and “good.” Despite enveloping our kids in rich activities and fun, when asked “How was your day?,” universally we hear the seemingly requisite responses of “fine” and “good.”

Amazingly, our children can go on about imaginary alien invasions and mermaid tea parties, but when asked about their days, a full sentence is too much to ask.

7.

Below are a few questions encouraging children to share parts of their day.

The trick is to check in about specific parts of the day, classes, topics and friends with open-ended questions.

1.

2.

3.

4.

8.

What was the hardest thing you did today?

Don’t forget to share bits about

your day. “Siri sent me on a wild goose chase…” “I sat at the computer and wrote an article about…” It is important

What made you laugh today?

to share your interests, challenges

What are three things that

and joys, so kids see communication

you did in the classroom?

modeled for them. There is nothing

What are two things Tell me one thing you learned today.

6.

you read in class.

What was fun today?

you did at recess?

5.

Tell me about what

If I called your teacher tonight, what would she tell me about you?

quite so rewarding as when your teenager says, “How was your day today?” ✿ Audra Martin has worked with children in the JCC field for over 17 years and is the Director of Children and Camp at the Merage JCC. Contact Audra at: audram@jccoc.org.

WHEN ASKED ABOUT THEIR DAYS, A FULL SENTENCE IS TOO MUCH TO ASK. 7

8

OCTOBER

kiddish

Our Future Leaders Nuturing our children’s potential in life.

BY SUE PENN

A

s we watch the annual cycle

us personal time for reflection. As we

of nature, we see the weather

gather our crops, let’s take stock of our

changing. The long, hot

blessings, focus on the positive and on

days of summer are waning,

the things we can control, and show our

it’s getting dark earlier, the leaves are turning red, orange and brown, and it’s

The world is at their fingertips, they just need to want it and strive for it.

appreciation for them.

So often we get caught up in a cycle of

much cooler in the early mornings and

negativity. A child struggling with math, a

late evenings. Fall brings our harvest

husband looking for a job, a parent facing

festivals, both in the secular and Judaic

the challenges of aging: these battles drain

calendars. Harvesting our crops brings

our energy while we look for solutions,

kiddish

9

OCTOBER

There are many different ways to motivate your children to apply themselves.

elicit others’ advice and continually

I have to believe that these will be the

revisit the issues. If we approached these

peacemakers, the generation that will

difficulties by thinking how lucky we are

change the world and make it a better

to have children who love spending time

place for everyone to live in. This will

with their friends, a husband who is able

be the generation that will ensure

to attend the children’s sports games and

worldwide access to education and

parent meetings, and parents who are

health care, benefitting by harnessing

still with us, our thought processes may

the brain power of all its citizens. This

change the outcome of the situation. A

obligation can only be fulfilled if we

child who doesn’t feel that her parents

focus on the positive, moving forward

are disappointed in her math grade but

towards the light rather than allowing the

rather are proud of her for treating her

day-to-day negative struggles to define

friends well will be more motivated to

us and cause us to stagnate. Our children

work harder at school and apply herself. A

look to us as role models (although

spouse who is more focused on the family

sometimes it’s hard to believe). Let us

than on losing a job will be in a better

lead them forward in a positive direction,

mind space when going for interviews and

raising the next generation of leaders,

more likely to land a new job.

empowering them to change the world

The turmoil in the world around us provides sufficient cause to get caught

and most importantly, really believing that they will! ✿

up in the negative mind trap. However, we need to remember that it is our obligation to raise the next generation of world citizens. They will be the products of what we expose them to. Personally,

Sue Penn is the mother of three, Education Director at University Synagogue, president of Jewish Reconstructionist Educators of North America and a member of the Jewish Educators Assembly.

LET’S TAKE STOCK OF OUR BLESSINGS, FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE AND ON THE THINGS WE CAN CONTROL, AND SHOW OUR APPRECIATION FOR THEM.

10

CONTESTS

kiddish

kosher dog MEET OCTOBER’S WINNER, OUR TOP DAWG!

Be November’s winner!

Leila and Maia

L

eila and Maia are both rescues from Laguna Beach Animal Shelter. They are living out their golden years in Irvine with JLife Editor Lisa Grajewski and Deborah Lotzof. Their favorite activities are eating, sleeping, and helping Lisa proof the magazine. Maia loves the taste and the quality of the new magazine!

Our pets are definitely part of our families, and here at Kiddish magazine we want to know what your four-legged friends are up to. Please send a picture of your pooch to pics@mydogbowl.com and tell us what they love to do in our wonderful Orange County neighborhood (a picture at the location is even better). Pictures of kitties are welcome too! We'll pick a winner each month, put their picture in the magazine and provide a wonderful treat for them courtesy of My Dog Bowl.

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Enter OCKM for a 20% DISCOUNT!

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www.ocjewishlife.com 11

12

OCTOBER

kiddish

The group takes a bumpy Jeep ride to the top of Golan Heights.

Sightseeing Sirens, and Selfies A Shell-shocked Summer Vacation to the Promised Land

BY HANNAH SCHOENBAUM

13

OCTOBER

kiddish

T

he volatile conditions made

could be so calm in a moment of crisis,

traveling to Israel risky at a time

he said, “These rockets rarely hit their

like this. Would you believe me

targets. Right now they’re just normal

if I said that I felt safer there

occurrences we’ll occasionally have to

than in my own country?

From July 6 to 17, members of

deal with.”

Everyone from our group made

our Temple Bat Yahm congregation

it downstairs safely. Shortly after, we

began a trip that would give us a new

learned that the Iron Dome had sent

perspective of Israeli life. We were

a rocket brigade that struck down five

kindly greeted at our hotel in Tel Aviv

missiles above Tel Aviv while we were

by an array of fresh fruits, a welcome

safely sheltered.

poster, and our first siren.

When the siren sounded, I was alone

Our tour guide, Mike Hollander, assured us that the Iron Dome was a

with my younger sister. As the grownup in

reliable piece of technology. “Because

the room, it was my responsibility to get

of the Iron Dome, the amount of Israelis

my sister out of the room safely.

killed in car accidents in one year is higher

We found our parents, waiting calmly at the stairwell entrance. Together we descended fifteen flights of stairs to the bomb shelter.

When I asked my dad how he

“THE IRON DOME HAD SENT A ROCKET BRIGADE THAT STRUCK DOWN FIVE MISSILES ABOVE TEL AVIV WHILE WE WERE SAFELY SHELTERED. “

than the amount of Israelis who have ever been killed by a missile,” he said.

With the escalating tension between Hamas and the Israeli government, not a day went by without missiles polluting

Hannah Schoenbaum catches up on the day’s news while floating comfortably in the Dead Sea.

14

OCTOBER

kiddish

The Temple Bat Yahm group takes a refreshing swim under the waterfall after a long hike at Ein Gedi.

the sky, but like my dad said, they

attitudes, the real sense of security

into English for our group. The

were just normal occurrences that

came from each other. Never

collective singing and dancing to

we occasionally had to deal with.

before have I felt so safe in the

songs like “Hallelujah” made us

midst of a crisis.

feel welcome.

The second time the siren sounded, we were first to the

I was amazed at how quickly

Truthfully, I had no idea what

hotel bomb shelter. While we

everyone resumed their daily

to expect on my first trip to Israel.

waited, the kids took funny bomb

routines after they left the bomb

I had learned about the religious

shelter selfies on their phones.

shelter. Even after a siren, the

divide in Jerusalem, but never

They seemed to be more scared

feeling of togetherness never faded.

could I have prepared myself for

of losing their Wi-Fi connections than they were of the missiles.

I enjoyed watching how those

When my family went shopping in The Shuk in Jerusalem, the vendors thanked us for

the lasting sense of belonging that I felt in Israel.

“When I’ve traveled before

who had experienced the sirens

traveling to Israel during such

to other countries, I felt like an

before comforted the first-timers.

difficult times. With the suffering

outsider looking in, but in Israel,

The way that those total strangers

economy, they were grateful for

I felt like I belonged,” said Sarah

made each other feel safe was

our presence.

Schoenbaum.

unlike anything I had ever seen

On Shabbat, we had to switch

The missiles in no way

before. People of different races

synagogues at the last minute.

interfered with our travel plans or

and religions came together,

The new synagogue was a single

seriously threatened our safety.

bound by a common goal: to

room, completely packed with

In fact, not a single person in the

make one another feel safe during

people, but they were happy

whole country was killed by a

these tough times. This sense of

to make room for thirty more.

missile during our trip.

togetherness and camaraderie

Even the oldest and youngest

made me feel like I was a member

people offered up their seats to

stayed in the safest areas of Israel,

of a family that would do anything

our group. They did everything

with structurally sound shelters

for one another.

imaginable to welcome us into

and caring people. The Israelis

their congregation. The rabbi even

who live closer to the Gaza Strip

translated portions of the service

may only have fifteen seconds

Although the accuracy of the Iron Dome boosted our optimistic

We were fortunate to have

kiddish

15

OCTOBER

Sarah Schoenbaum and Adrienne Cohen take a moment to pray at the Western Wall.

to find shelter after the siren sounds. I

the Kotel, but being in its presence left

cannot imagine what life would be like,

me speechless. I was honored to place my

knowing that a single second could be the

prayers in the most sacred place for the

difference between life and death. I am

Jewish people.

so thankful to live in a safe country, and I pray for the safety of all those who live in constant fear of attack.

Despite the occasional siren, I had an incredible experience exploring the Promised Land. In Tel Aviv, we stood in the room where Israel became an independent country. We also explored

This trip brought me even closer to my temple family. I could not have asked for a better travel group. Even with the missiles and bomb shelters, my first trip to Israel was a beautiful experience. I cannot wait for my next adventure to the Promised Land. âœż

the ancient Roman ruins of Caesarea, floated in the Dead Sea, and stayed on the Kfar Blum Kibbutz. I especially enjoyed hiking at Ein Gedi and placing my prayers in the Kotel. I had read so much about

Hannah Schoenbaum is a sophomore at Corona del Mar High School and Co-Editor of her school magazine, Trident. She is an active member of the Temple Bat Yahm congregation. She enjoys writing, photography, filmmaking, and traveling.

I HAD READ SO MUCH ABOUT THE KOTEL, BUT BEING IN ITS PRESENCE LEFT ME SPEECHLESS. 15

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