Orange County Jewish Life - May 2014

May 2014 Iyyar/Sivan 5774

ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE

Energize Yourself at the Most Exciting Event of the Year HIGHER | STRONGER | FASTER

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inside

JLIFE | Iyyar/Sivan 5774 | MAY 2014

VIEWPOINT

PROFILES

22

56

Israel Scene Children Say it Best

26

On the Lighter Side Magical Childhood

24

Israeli Guy Obligated to Party

Collective Sounds The Idan Raichel Project— more than just a project.

58

Nola Goes YOLO Young Adults explore their Judaism Together

56

LIFESTYLE

62

FEATURES

28

2014 Israel Expo Energize Yourself at the Most Exciting Event of the Year

34

Out of The Desert Ben-Gurion University holds promise for the Negev and the rest of the world.

40

Fresh Orange Jews O.C.’s Fresh Faces

64

Rachel Goes Rogue Looking for “Mr. & Mrs. ‘Just’ Right”

66

Aliyah Hierarchy in the Homeland

IN EVERY ISSUE

42

Society Roundup Faces of the Community

Letters Cloaked in Cowardice Proof of The Truth?

46

16

News & Jews OC Jewish Scene

Choice Words A Letter From the Editor

48

63

The Peel Sitting Shiva: The 7-Day Salute

50

Seniors Calendar Fitness, Education & More

12

History/Blogs Orange County’s Jewish History & The Blogosphere

34

70

A&E

Advertising Index

50

Concert Calendar Courtesy of the Orange County Concert Guide

52

Cooking Jewish With Judy Bart Kancigor

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Look inside for Kiddish, our new insert publication, right after page 36.

28 On the Cover

The 2014 Israel Expo is just around the corner.

Take a look at our feature story for a list of fun cultural activities for the whole family to enjoy!

GET NOTICED BY THE JEWISH COMMUNITY.

Join JLife in showcasing the variety and vitality of Jewish Orange County.

Shabat Under the Stars

Starting May 23rd Friday Night Shabbat Services Outdoors in the Warsaw Amphitheater Wine and cheese at 5:30pm · Service Begins at 6:00pm

For subscription or advertising info call Mody at

949.734.5074 or visit www.ocjewishlife.com

JOIN US! May 3: ECE Fundraiser • May 27th: WTBY’s Women of the Year May 30th: Shabbat Confirmation Service with the TBY Simcha Band

Temple Bat Yahm · For more information visit www.tby.org or call 949-644-1999

8 MAY 2014 |

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 Named one of the Top 50 lawyers in all of Orange County - all specialties included by Super Lawyers.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS MARTIN BROWER, ADAM CHESTER, FLORENCE DANN, RABBI DAVID ELIEZRIE, HARRIETTE ELLIS, JUDY FLORMAN, STEFANEE FREEDMAN, EVE GUMPEL, DEBORAH LEWIS, CARINE NADEL, PAMELA PRICE, NAOMI RAGEN, MAYRAV SAAR, RACHEL SCHIFF, ANDREA SIMANTOV, REINA SLUTSKE, TEDDY WEINBERGER

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Jlife is published monthly by Orange County Jewish Life, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to Jlife, 1 Federation Way, Irvine,CA 92603. Jlife is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. Orange County Jewish Life, LLC is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. Orange County Jewish Life, LLC reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity.

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CHOICE WORDS

CELEBRATE ISRAEL Join the entire community at Israel Expo 2014.

BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

MAY IS A month for a major celebration.

I can almost taste the falafel and shawarma.

Israel is turning 66. From the pioneering days to the startup nation days, in spite of war and isolation, Israel has shown that moxie and determination, a few major miracles and a little help from its friends can make a small country strong and prosperous.

While some of Israel’s 66-year history has been punctuated by less-than-pleasant situations, the vibe is positive, and the spirit is unbridled. Israeli technology is in a huge growth mode, and Israelis are everywhere, helping in crises all over the world and doing other things to make the world a better place.

Think of Israel every time Israelis are you use your computer or everywhere, your cell phone. Think of it helping in crises every time there is a rescue all over the world thropic and paid positions. mission to some remote part and doing other Some are and always have of the world, because you things to make been driving forces behind know the Israelis will be the the world a the Israel Expo, which takes first responders. Whether the better place. place on May 18 from 1 to rest of the world acknowledg6 p.m. in Irvine. That event es it or not, you know that brings it all together – a cellives will be saved because of Israelis. We celebrate that, plus all of the ebration of many things in one jam-packed artistic and musical endeavors that Israelis day.

In this issue we salute the state of Israel bring to the world.

We have much to celebrate in the Orange and Orange County’s unique community County Jewish community, too. Here we event to showcase it. Having spent 12 wonstand on the shoulders of so many people derful days in Israel recently, I hope that who have remained active in both philan- everyone gets to do likewise. Whether it is 12 MAY 2014 |

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a Birthright trip, a mission, a family vacation or a business trip, a journey to Israel is life-changing at any age. Being in Israel is a chance to relive your history, watch the desert bloom, enjoy unique cuisine and witness the exciting development of technology. It is the best place in the world to celebrate Judaism and celebrate life.

If this is not your year to visit Israel (or even if it is), we hope that you will do the next best thing and join the entire Jewish community at the Israel Expo on May 18.

It will be a great celebration for people of all ages. A

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| MAY 2014 13

DEVASTATING FIRE AT TEMPLE BETH SHOLOM Orange County’s First Congregation

We need the community’s support to help make us whole again.

If you are willing to donate, please visit www.tbsoc.com/fire-recovery-fund/ or call the TBS office at 714-628-4600

14 MAY 2014 |

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| MAY 2014 15

LETTERS

Kvetch & Kvell “Evangelical Zionism!!” As a Protestant, I am embarrassed by these so-called churches.

PHOTO BY ZACH DALIN

But if you are looking for the focal point of the resurgence of antiSemitism in the US, it is on our college campuses, where pro-Palestinian activists rule the roost. Aided by leftist professors, they have made the IsraeliPalestinian conflict the number-one hot topic on university campuses at the expense of so many issues that affect students directly. The Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) Movement is one example. I can tell you that UCI is no exception because I teach there and have been observing and documenting the hate speech since 2007.

It is absolutely vital that the community understand the scope of the problem and get involved. Christians and Jews need to stand together because we face a common threat as the events involving Christians in the Middle East clearly illustrate.

Gary Fouse In response to our March cover story:

CLOAKED IN COWARDICE There are many good points in this article, but I think the writer understated the role of Europe’s Muslim population in the European anti-Semitism. It is a fact that in many major cities, Jews cannot walk about in Jewish garb lest they be insulted or assaulted mostly by young male Muslim immigrants. Malmo, Sweden is probably the worst, but it happens in Holland, France, Norway and other countries as well.

There is also much valid criticism to be leveled at various Christian churches that have become activists on behalf of the Palestinians. The Presbyterian Church USA and the English Methodist Church are prominent in this activism.

In December 2012, I was present at the All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena when they hosted the annual conference of the Muslim Public Affairs Council and the presiding pastor told the audience that “the history of the Christian Church was littered with acts of hate by Christians.” He mentioned the Holocaust but also mentioned,

In response to a letter we printed last month:

PROOF OF THE TRUTH? Hello, I was shocked to read the letter from Stu Kaiden regarding the insulting and dismissive behavior to Benjamin Netanyahu by the Obama Administration vis a vis his exiting the White House through the garage. I would like further clarification of this.

If this did, indeed, occur, what was the reason?

Was there a logical explanation? And if this did, indeed, occur, I would

Continued on page 18

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LETTERS Continued from page 16

like Mr. Kaiden to cite his sources (evidence). The statement is extremely inflammatory and needs corroboration (proof) of its having happened for nefarious reasons.

It’s very easy for people to make unproven claims and the letter should have cited its source. I went online to search for further information and there was no mention in any of the news sites of such an event having taken place, as far as I could find.

Rosalie Gottfried In reply to Ms. Rosalie Gottfried: I am amazed at the fact that you have not heard of this tremendous and disgraceful act by the Obama administration, which I believe was at the direction of Obama. However, I will attempt to enlighten you and answer your question. On March 05, 2012 Prime Minister Netanyahu and Obama met at the White House and the Prime Minister was greeted begrudgingly, no photos, no red carpet, nothing for a faithful ally of the USA. When the meeting ended, the Prime Minister and his aides were ushered out via the garbage exit door, not the garage as you state. I might add that it is wise to agree with Obama on any subject or the Obama Administration will throw you out with the garbage and has also done this to the Dali Lama in February 2010.

You can find out about all this on line on the internet or in the Atlanta Journal Constitution and other national publications and for this reason I am certain these disgraceful episodes did occur, and although you may think that there is something “nefarious,” it is just Obama being Obama. I first learned of this repulsive behavior from watching TV. It is no wonder the rest of the world can

no longer trust the USA when we treat our only trustworthy friend in the Middle East in that manner. The only logical reason for his behavior was in part caused by Obama as he had no knowledge of the history or boundaries of Israel and had not been advised by his staff. I hope this helps!

Stu Kaiden The original letter: No doubt you will get a plethora of response to your article on the subject of Anti-Semitism and the selfhating Jews that wish they were not Jews and find them picked on by the KKK and the other haters. Unless you have grown up with and experienced anti-Semitism first hand, it is hard to describe the feelings you will come away with from that experience. I have and I know many of my friends have had that experience. A lot of them are subtle and below the surface, such as being denied a hotel room if you are black or a “NonChristian” and the hotel “policy” is displayed on a placard on the counter. Or if you have a co-worker consistently calling co-workers “Jewboy.” Then there is the case of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu being dismissed by Obama and exiting the White House by the garbage. If that is not enough of a tip-off how this administration feels regarding the existence of Israel, look at how they consistently dismiss the rocket attacks on Israel. Would they permit a foreign government or terrorist group to get away with that on the USA? I believe the Prime Minister is correct when he states “When someone says they are going to annihilate you, take them seriously.”

Stu Kaiden

Who Knew?

Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Coldplay front man Chris Martin, announced that they would be separating after 10 years of marriage.

Instead of throwing out the term divorce, the couple stated that the break-up was actually a “conscious uncoupling.”

Paltrow and Martin decided to spend the last few weeks in the Bahamas together on a “break up moon.” It is reported that the two woke up each morning at 5 a.m. for “daily counseling and joint meditation sessions.”

At the end of the trip, the former couple engaged in an “uncoupling ceremony” officiated by a Kabbalah rabbi. Shalom Life recently reported that the two held a beachside ceremony in which, “Paltrow and Martin read from a sacred book, lit a fire and used stones to symbolize the ‘concrete relationship’ that the two will continue to share as parents and friends. They finished by throwing the rocks into the water to symbolize their ‘wandering spirits.’”

Finally, it is reported that Paltrow and Martin recited, “Blessed are you in coming in and blessed are you in going out,” and sealed the words with a kiss goodbye.

We welcome your letters! E-mail editorjlife@gmail.com with your feedback.

18 MAY 2014 |

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(Source: Shalom Life, April 13, 2014)

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| MAY 2014 19

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| MAY 2014 21

Israel Scene | BY ANDREA SIMANTOV

Children Say it Best

THE BUSYNESS OF MY LIFE LEAVES LITTLE TIME FOR REFLECTION, AND I HAVE COME TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A GOOD THING. 22 MAY 2014 |

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DRAWING BY PEPE FAINBERG

Take time to create memories.

AFTER A LOT of back and forth, a truckload of documentation scanned and several high-pitched conversations with my medical practitioner of the hour, I procured travelers’ insurance for me (rife with exceptions and caveats) despite a recent, not-quite-resolved illness. Praise the Lord--with medication packed and my overnight bag packed, the spouse and I boarded a plane for a five-day, four-night jaunt to England to celebrate his granddaughter’s Bat Mitzvah.

We brought along three additional Israeli granddaughters who had never been overseas. Their mom, heavily pregnant with her sixth, was delighted by the offer and drove us to the airport. Everything about the flight was great; from the rudimentary English lesson I

gave to the distribution of left-over Purim snacks. The little girls were excited and anxious about whether or not their party dresses would be suitable for an elegant British soiree.

Aside from the tourist attractions and never-ending rides on the underground train, the only thing for me that truly counted was the time spent with family.

Shabbos dinner was a beautiful get-together in a heated backyard tent, attended by forty relatives of my stepson’s wife. (She is the Brit.) Our side of the family was represented by four, not counting the children we brought.

Talk and laughter, oodles of Jewish geography, speeches, public accolades and expressions of gratitude were the order of the celebration. It could not have been nicer.

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Judith Gottesman, MSW Soul Mates Unlimited® As we left we promised – as always – to visit more often. Looking forward to a bit of accustomed quiet and alone time, we nevertheless reflected about the importance of being with family.

Two weeks later, after the same insurance company tussle, the husband and I boarded another flight for South Africa, via Addis Ababa. We had made the eleventh-hour decision to visit three of my daughters who live in Johannesburg so that I could hold, cuddle and bestow some kisses into the bellies of the two newborn grandsons I had not yet met. Passover seemed the perfect time with nowhere to go except from home to home and playground to playground. I also desperately wanted my daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren to get to know my husband, Ronney, on a deeper level. They had only met at the wedding three years earlier, and it was time to “cement” that family thing.

Ronney was more excited than anyone, because he is the South African! My American-born children live there as a result of marriage and continuing education. He could not wait to see his childhood home, visit the cemetery where his parents are buried, see some distant cousins and locate some old drinking buddies. Most important, there were some foods that were waiting to be eaten.

While I remained at my daughter’s cottage to sleep and recover from the long flight, apparently he and my daughter hit every food shop in the kosher district, and he had tears in his eyes at each stop, conjuring up culinary memories from a distant childhood. When he finally returned to the house carrying four bags of dried meats, sausages and dried biscuits (“It isn’t like spending. It’s Monopoly money!”), he announced, “In 40 minutes I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

Every night he played squash with Talia’s husband, Antonino and I worked out in the gym. I read books to children, sang songs with nine-year-old Shmuel Dovid from the new Schwecky CD I had brought. I gave haircuts. We made both houses kosher-for-Passover, and I cooked some of their childhood foods in order that the grandchildren should know “Grandma’s cooking.” We visited with the in-laws, went to far too many South African “bries” and stayed up several late nights playing board games with the married couples and a few of the older grandchildren.

The busyness of my life leaves little time for reflection, and I have come to believe that this is a good thing. The peace, love and sense of closeness that comes from being with my children and my husband’s children and all of our grandchildren bear witness to the investments of our previous labors. It was not always easy, and good memories are peppered with pain, shame and unresolved issues.

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Israeli Guy | BY TEDDY WEINBERGER

VIEWPOINT

Obligated to Party Yom Ha’atzmaut comes in many forms on different days.

TOO BAD FOR MY CALENDAR, BUT HEY – WE ARE STILL A YOUNG COUNTRY. 24 MAY 2014 |

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A GOOD THING about America’s Independence Day is that it is so dependable: you can always count on it to fall out on the 4th of July. Israel’s Independence Day, on the other hand, is much less reliable. To begin with, its commemoration is tied to the Hebrew calendar, of which half the population here typically has not the foggiest. Add to this the factor of Memorial Day immediately preceding Independence Day and the factor of neither day being commemorated on the Sabbath, and you have a recipe for calendrical confusion.

Take this year, for example. My daily calendar has Yom Ha’atzmaut marked out on its official commemorative day, the fifth day of the Hebrew month of Iyyar, which this year is on Monday May 5. But because the Jewish day begins at night, this would have meant that Memorial Day would have begun on Saturday night, May 3, making it difficult for many of the Sabbathobserving bereaved to attend commemoration services. Memorial Day, therefore, has been postponed to Sunday night, May 4, thus pushing Independence Day celebrations this year to the sixth of Iyyar, beginning on Monday night, May 5. Too bad for my calendar, but hey – we are still a young country.

For religious Zionists, the founding of the State of Israel has theological significance, and religious Zionists want to mark this occasion of God’s acting in history.

They do so primarily with a special evening service on the night of Independence Day, which includes the blowing of the shofar and the recitation of the festive Hallel prayer. Religious non-Zionists, however, attach no special religious importance to Yom Ha’atzmaut, and even recite the tahanun prayer reserved for regular profane weekdays.

To the general public, Yom Ha’atmzaut is a time for free outdoor concerts, fireworks, getting foam sprayed all over you and having musical toy hammers smashed into your skull. There are also many parties throughout

the night. In Givat Ze’ev, even the party for junior highschool students begins at midnight.

The day of Yom Ha’atzmaut provides one with the opportunity to fulfill the central commandment of this holiday: the mangal (barbecue). One simply has not fulfilled one’s obligation to one’s country without a BBQ. It’s no wonder that my friend Katriel playfully calls this day not Yom Ha’atzmaut, but Yom Ha’atzamot (the day of bones). Israelis like to get out into nature on Independence Day, and so they lug all their barbecue paraphernalia with them. Because holiday traffic jams can be horrendous, some families set up their barbecues well before the entrance to a park, thus getting a jump on the trip back home. It is astounding to me to see families barbecuing a few feet from a highway, with asphalt and cars providing most of their scenery. You sort of wonder why they did not just set up shop from the comfort of their own neighborhood street.

There are several locations around the country on Yom Ha’atzmaut where the army creates a military “parking lot” for kids. Givat Ze’ev is one of the chosen spots.

On our first Independence Day here sixteen years ago, a television crew from Miami (where we lived before aliya) followed us around. As the cameraman filmed Rebecca climbing on a tank, I told the reporter that kids here are socialized from a very early age to view the military as friendly and fun. My three older children, including Rebecca, have by now already completed their military service, Ezra is scheduled to finish his service on May 15, and Elie will be enlisting within a year. Independence, after all, has a price. Happy Holiday!

Teddy Weinberger, Ph.D., is a tennis coach who made aliyah with his family in 1997 from Miami, where he was an assistant professor of religious studies.

He and his wife, Sarah Jane Ross, have five children.

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| MAY 2014 25

On the Lighter Side | BY MAYRAV SAAR

VIEWPOINT

Magical Childhood Is it beautiful or overwhelming?

IS THAT REALLY SO DIFFERENT FROM A HANDCRAFTED “GOOD JOB” STICKER CHART? 26 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

THE INTERNET IS buzzing with arguments and counter-arguments about what is being called “Magical Childhood.”

Magical Childhood, to the naysayers, is an ultimately self-serving series of actions taken by parents to over-plan every moment of a child’s life with over-the-top themed birthday parties, expensive vacations, outings, outfits and preciously arranged snacks.

A column that went viral last month titled, “I’m Done Making My Kid’s Childhood Magical,” declared that such parenting is both exhausting for the parent and potentially damaging to the child – all that orchestrated, over-planned face time with Mom gets in the way of a child’s ability to develop his imagination.

On the flip side, moms who Tweet pics of their magazine-spread-worthy party favor bags took to the Internet to defend Magical Childhood as a beautiful thing that allows parents and children to build joyful memories together.

So where does Judaism come down? To my understanding (and now that I’m 40, I’m very, very wise, so listen up), Magical Childhood is, in fact, just another way of saying “Jewish Childhood.”

While most of the world spent millennia considering children to be nothing more than little adults, Jews have long recognized childhood as being a distinct, beautiful and (the ancient rabbis would never have used this word, but) magical time.

In twelfth-century Europe, Jewish boys were initiated into school by getting dressed up to the nines, escorted into the synagogue and fed eggs, fruit and honey cakes.

There were no cute Instagrams of the boys showing off their monogrammed backpacks outside the synagogue door, but there might as well have been.

The letters of the Hebrew alphabet were written on a slate and read to the boy. Then the letters were covered with honey, which the boy licked so that he would associate the letters with sweetness and learning with reward. Is that really so different from a hand-crafted “Good Job” sticker chart?

The anti-Magical Childhood folks rail against moms who are hyper-involved and laser-focused on Junior’s studies, social life and extra-curricular activities. In other words, Jewish mothers.

It’s no surprise, then, that I take issue with this. I don’t use Pinterest to come up with Tooth Fairy ideas (don’t need to; my Tooth Fairy ideas are the best), but I do believe in turning to your community – online or off – to share ideas, frustrations and strategies. You know, like Jews have forever.

To the point that such parenting is exhausting and leaves mothers and fathers depleted and cranky: Yep. It sure does. But it also allows for families to create traditions together, learn from each other and grow together as people. Plus, I’m pretty sure a mom can get herself all tuckered out even if she never logs on to Pinterest or molds soft-boiled eggs into cool shapes for her toddler’s lunch.

Finally, to the argument that Magical Childhood robs a kid of his ability to cultivate an imagination, I recently read about the early childhood of one Jewish man whose mother was overwhelmingly doting, over-involved and indulgent.

That man? Steven Spielberg. Poor guy. Imagine where he’d be today if his mother had just backed off and let his imagination grow.

After a 10-year career as a newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times and Orange County Register, Mayrav Saar left to try her hand at child rearing and freelance writing.

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Jlife

| MAY 2014 27

COVER STORY

2014 ISRAEL EXPO Energize yourself at the most exciting event of the year.

by Ilene Schneider

| HIGHER STRO

28 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

COVER STORY

I

srael is truly amazing in every way. Going there is life-changing.

Then there is the next best thing…

“Israel: Higher. Stronger. Faster.” is the theme of Israel Expo 2014, an event that brings Israel to Irvine with sights, sounds and flavors designed to entice all ages while celebrating Israel’s 66th birthday. This year’s expo, slated for Sunday, May 18, from 1 to 6 p.m. and sponsored by Jewish Federation & Family Services (JFFS), offers the opportunity to see both top-tier entertainment and the kinds of technological advances that have made Israel the “start-up nation.”

“This is the largest assemblage of Jewish people in Orange County and a great showcase for Israel, JFFS and all the Jewish organizations in the community,” said Blossom Siegel, co-chair of the event. “It’s a very exciting day that shows how much JFFS cares and makes it happen, and it’s free.”

Co-chair Idit Ferder explained that the new features of this year’s Israel Expo “tell the story of how Israel excels in different areas – technology and science, music and literature and sports.” She added, “It will focus on the contributions of Israel to the world.”

Specifically, Mini MadaTech will have hands-on, interactive exhibits from Israel’s National Museum of Science, Technology and Space.

IsraAID Relief in Haiti will show how Israelis provided the first emergency aid to reach Haiti after the 2010 earthquake. The Health & Wellness Pavilion will offer exhibits and interactive demonstrations by local health and wellness providers. A real highlight is the bone marrow drive, which actually produced a match last year.

The Israeli Excellence Exhibition will showcase Israeli achievements in science, medicine, sports, arts and humanitarian aid. The Shalom Family’s Garden of Readin’ will be a children’s literature fun zone with a complete book fair and book signing.

| NGER FASTER Jlife

| MAY 2014 29

COVER STORY

Headlining the entertainment are the Fountainheads who will be performing during the Lag B’Omer Jewish Unity parade. The Fountainheads, who are described as Israeli singing sensations will also be joined by children’s choirs. Comedian Eric Schwartz is the master of ceremonies, and other entertainers include InJoy Productions and local singer Aviella Winder. Israel in Motion will feature contemporary dance and discussion with Israeli choreographer Idan Cohen, dancer Noa Shiloh and historian Nina Spiegel.

Additionally, there will be demonstrations of Zumba, Pilates, Yoga and Krav Maga. More than 100 commercial vendors will offer jewelry, fashions, Judaica and more. There will be many activities for children, and, of course, there will be sumptuous Israeli food.

Offering further community-building is the Israel Leaders program in which organizations nominate a member of the organization showing the most dedication to Israel, according to

ERIC SCHWARTZ LIVE Often compared to Jimmy Fallon or Adam Sandler, Eric Schwartz has been described as one of the most creative and original comedians working today. With appearances on “The Tonight Show,“ “Showtime,” “Comics Unleashed,” BET and more, this multidimensional showman’s stand-up, songs and characters have made him a favorite at clubs, colleges and the web.

His viral videos have aired on E!, G4, CNN and OMG Insider, while YouTube recently named him one of their prestigious NextUp Creators. “E! News Daily” host Ryan Seacrest says Schwartz is “rocking the web” with “videos that have got everyone Googling” and Forbes. com applauds him for having “a minor industry in pop music parodies.”

30 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

Cindy Furst, who is in charge of the program.

“Everyone nominated will get up on stage and be introduced,” she explained. “The winner’s organization gets $3,600 and the runner-up’s organization gets $1,800.”

The presenting sponsor is California Southern University, which offers accredited bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees, as well as certificate programs. All CalSouthern programs are offered 100-percent online through personalized one-on-one mentoring, ideal for the busy, working professional.

Everyone agreed that the key to the success of Israel Expo is Hagit Partouche, director of event planning and coordination at JFFS. “Hagit puts heart and soul into this event,” Ferder said. Siegel added, “Hagit works tirelessly all year. Because of her, Israel Expo is always tremendous.”

For details about IsraelExpo 2014, please see the website, www.israelexpo.org.

Sunday | May 18 | 1-6 p.m.

This year’s expo offers the opportunity to see both top-tier entertainment and the kinds of technological advances advances that have made Israel the “start-up nation.”

SWAN LAKE FUSION PROJECT Enjoy a special sneak preview of the Swan Lake Project, a unique dance collaboration bringing together UC Irvine and Israel and featuring the choreography talents of UCI Artist-in-Residence Idan Cohen and Tong Wang and Diane Diefenderfer of the Department of Dance of the Claire Trevor School of the Arts.

The full production of the Swan Lake Project will be performed on Wednesday, May 28, at 7 p.m. on the Samueli Jewish Campus.

Continued on page 32

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‫דוברי עברית‬ www.caltaxadviser.com Jlife

| MAY 2014 31

COVER STORY

Continued from page 30

MADATECH Enjoy a mini-tour of Israel’s National Museum of Science, Technology and Space.

MadaTech is dedicated to preserving, perpetuating, popularizing and promoting the rich cultural heritage of science and enhancing science literacy among Israelis of all ages.

Enjoy digital manufacturing with 3D printers, robot shows, physics experiments and more. Activities will be offered throughout the day.

INJOY PRODUCTIONS InJoy has been bringing joy and energy to communities around the globe. Led

by Israeli born Gilat Rapaport, InJoy performs traditional and contemporary repertoire, making all crowds dance and sing along with the group. Gilat’s warm and powerful voice, her electrifying presence and charisma, along with her incredible band will enhance your deepest emotions and will bring them to life.

THE FOUNTAINHEADS Described as a singing sensation, the Fountainheads are a group of young Israeli singers, dancers and musicians, all graduates and students of the Ein Prat Academy for Leadership, who have joined forces to create new Jewish artistic content for today’s Jewish world.

Through their videos and live performances, the Fountainheads’ work is enjoyed by millions of people all over the world. The Fountainheads perform at special events, trips, concerts, weddings and simchas in Israel, and also tour overseas a few times a year. A

32 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

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Jlife

| MAY 2014 33

F E AT U R E S

OUT OF THE

DESERT Ben-Gurion University holds promise for the Negev and the rest of the world.

BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

34 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

F E AT U R E S

IN SOME WAYS it is a tabula rasa, a clean slate waiting for people to leave their imprint on it. In other ways it is simply there for the taking, an area waiting for development with no political repercussions. In yet other ways it is Israel’s best-kept secret.

The Negev, according to Israeli author A.B. Yehoshua, is where “Israel’s potential comes into proportion.” As he said, “Huge areas can be discovered there, which can be used for science and settlement. Tens of thousands more Jews could easily live in the Negev, easing the crowding in central Israel.”

Yehoshua and others have noted that while many flourishing U.S. cities are located in deserts, there has been little effort to settle the Negev until recently. That fact is changing with the prominence and promise of Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, founded 44 years ago in the spirit of David Ben-Gurion, Israel’s first prime minister, who said, “In the Negev the Jewish people’s fate will be decided.”

When Ben-Gurion immigrated to what was called Palestine in 1906, he envisioned starting anew. Bringing life to the dry, salty soil of the desert symbolized that for him. Later, he and his wife moved from their comfortable home in Tel Aviv to a modest house in the Negev, enabling him to take a hands-on approach to making the desert bloom.

While “Negev” means “dry” in Hebrew, the area – which accounts for 60 percent of the land mass of Israel but a relatively small part of its population – is awash in bright-colored flowers in the spring.

Because Israel has had to develop solutions for growing crops in arid, adverse conditions, it is in the world’s forefront of agricultural innovation, especially in the areas of irrigation and water recycling, and it is sharing this technical know-how with the world.

Brain research at Ben-Gurion University.

Today, the university bearing Ben-Gurion’s name is a leader not only in water reclamation and desalinization but also in brain research, biotechnology research, drug discovery and robotics. The youngest university in Israel was founded with a mandate from the government of Israel to spearhead the development of the Negev and to help the local population. A research institute was created five or six years before the university was established, with support from the Technion and Hebrew University.

Now Ben-Gurion University has 20,000 students on three camContinued on page 36

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Jlife

| MAY 2014 35

F E AT U R E S Continued from page 35

puses in Beersheva, Sde Boker and Eilat. It trains one third of the of Alzheimer’s, epilepsy and other diseases, but the outcomes have Israeli engineers and has two medical schools in which the academic not changed much, although scientists know much more,” Dr. and clinical staffs work together. The university, the hospital on Friedman said.

He added that more than 30 percent of the global population campus and the industrial park close by are making Beersheva a suffers from some type of brain disorder: stroke, traumatic brain high-technology hub.

“If the university had been 50 miles north, the impact would not injury, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and others. There is also post-trauhave been as great in terms of health, social services, education and matic stress disorder (PTSD), which is studied extensively in the science,” said Prof. Rivka Carmi, the university president. “Students southern part of Israel where there are rocket attacks with alarming frequency. The neuroscience center moves who get a scholarship have to spend time from the bedside to the bench and back doing specific things in the community for again, doing basic research to understand the challenged and disadvantaged.” disease and understand the brain, caring Dr. Carmi is renowned for her genetic for patients with diagnosis and treatment research on the Bedouin community. Her When Ben-Gurion of neurological and psychiatric patients, research on Carmi syndrome, in which chilimmigrated to what involveing the community and then doing dren are born without skin, has influenced was called Palestine translational research to obtain new diagnosmatchmaking attempts that prevent marin 1906, he envisioned tic approaches, new imaging tools and new riages between two carriers. Now Bedouins treatments. attend the university as well, and Bedouin starting anew.

How does the political climate play into women are enrolled in the medical school. this scenario? According to Dr. Carmi, The Zlotowski Center for Neuroscience takes a multidisciplinary, collaborative approach that includes 200,000 of the 500,000 people living in the Negev are Bedouin, health sciences, engineering sciences, natural sciences, social sci- and they are benefiting from the presence of Ben-Gurion University ences and humanities. “We teach everyone the universal language and Soroka Hospital. There are projects and collaborations with of science and then let them go deeper into their own field,” said Palestinians and other Arab countries.

“Sometimes, the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) Alon Friedman, Ph.D., associate professor.

Dr. Friedman related that a “huge problem” of the 21st century is movement makes it harder to get research published or get keynote that many people will die of brain disorders. As people live longer, speeches at scientific conferences in some countries,” Dr. Carmi there is a greater likelihood of Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenera- said. “There is something silent and underlying.” tive diseases.

She concluded, “The Palestinians would be the most hurt by “People have been studying the brain for 50 years in the areas boycotts. Science and education are the path to peace.”

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36 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

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Turn That Frown Around

THE 2014 ISRAEL EXPO COME CELEBRATE YOUR HERITAGE BRAIN GAMES FUN NEW WAYS TO ENGAGE YOUR MIND

New perspectives on mental health.

MAY 2014

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OUR GOAL IS A CAVITY-FREE GENERATION.

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a peek inside may 2014

08

10

12

NO POINTS FOR 2ND PLACE

ADDING TO THE PALETTE

CELEBRATE ISRAEL

All children are unique in their own way.

Here are a few tips on managing your expectations of your kids.

The Irvine Hebrew Day School is opening it's doors and we are all clamoring to see what they have in store.

The 2014 Israeli Expo is just around the corner and it is sure to be filled with fun and surprises for everyone.

also inside!

Editor’s Note 06 Mental Health Lit 16 JCC Ball 20 Games 23 For May calendar events please visit:

www.ocjewishlife.com

18

21

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EDITOR’S NOTE

kiddish

PUBLISHER ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE EDITOR IN CHIEF TRACEY ARMSTRONG GORSKY, MBA CREATIVE DIRECTOR RACHEL BELLINSKY CONTRIBUTING WRITERS LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY. D, HEIDI KAHN, LAURA ARON MILHANDER, SUE PENN M. ED. ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES

W

elcome to the new issue of Kiddish

magazine! We are very pleased to bring you another issue focused on the health and well being of your children and families—

Moms, Dads, brothers, sisters . . . even your family dog! There is a special spot for everyone in this issue.

This month we are focusing on your mental health

DIANE BENAROYA (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE), MARTIN STEIN (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE) EDITORIAL (949) 230-0581

TARMSTRONG24@GMAIL.COM

because if you’re not “right upstairs,” nothing will go swimmingly (the way it should). Mental health is an integral part of our lives and has an affect on our physical and emotional well being. Nearly five million children in the U.S. have some type of serious mental health issue (one that significantly interferes with daily life). In any given year, 20% of American children will be diagnosed with a mental illness.

Unfortunately, identifying mental disorders in children can be tricky for health care providers. Children differ from adults in that they experience many physical, mental, and emotional changes as they progress through their natural growth and development.

ADVERTISING (949) 812-1891

SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM ART

ART@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE AND KIDDISH IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE, LLC 1 FEDERATION WAY, IRVINE, CA 92603

So even though your children are still developing and “finding themselves” in life, it is important to pay attention to anything that strikes you as abnormal. Intuition can go a long way in recognizing a child in need.

Please take a moment to educate yourselves and your children with some of the resources we’ve provided in this issue.

— Tracey Armstrong Gorsky, Editor in Chief

Editor Tracey Armstrong Gorsky is the managing editor for JLife and former editor and writer for Making Waves, Pet Product News, Veterinary Practice News and Surfing Magazine. She brings over ten years of writing and editing experience to Kiddish magazine and holds a Masters in Business Administration.

OCJL is published monthly by Orange County Jewish Life, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues).

Send subscription requests to OCJL, 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste. 204, San Diego, CA 92121. Orange County Jewish Life is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. Orange County Jewish Life is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements.

Orange County Jewish Life reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. OCJL is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to OCJL become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return of such material. Orange County Jewish Life is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

All contents © 2014 Orange County Jewish Life.

kiddish

7

KIDS COOKING

Oatmeal to go These oatmeal breakfast bars are an excellent, on-the-go pre-activity treat.

Ingredients:

What to do:

2 cups oatmeal, uncooked 1 minute 1 ripe banana (over ripe means extra sweet – yum!)

1 cup unsweetened applesauce

1

2 Preheat heat oven to 350 degrees.

Mash bananas.

1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp vanilla extract

Optional add-ins: handful of raisins, or cranberries, or chocolate chips and nuts (if no allergies)

Heidi Kahn is a contributing writer to Kiddish magazine and the Pre-School Director at University Synagogue. She is an award-winning teacher who has over 30 years of experience in the field of Jewish Early Childhood Education.

3

4 Mix together, oatmeal, mashed bananas, vanilla extract, applesauce and cinnamon and add-ins.

5

Prepare a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Pour dough onto baking sheet and smooth with the back of a spoon.

6 Bake approx. 25 – 30 minutes, or until golden. Remove from oven and let rest on cookie sheet for 5 minutes and then move to cooling rack.

Cut into squares when cool. Delicious with vanilla yogurt!

8

FAMILY MATTERS

kiddish

No Points For Second Place How to manage your expectations of your children.

BY SUSAN PENN, M.ED.

W

atching the Olympic athletes cry, after they

We all want the best for our children.

haven’t succeeded

We want them to achieve and to succeed

in their quest to win

and to win gold all the time. But is it

gold, made me stop and take stock of

possible for everyone to be the best? Are

my expectations. Was there too much

our expectations fair and realistic? Are

pressure on each athlete to succeed?

we setting our children up for failure by

Was it the end of the road for them if

expecting unrealistic results from them?

they didn’t win gold? How much family

Are our expectations personal or guided

disappointment (and, in some cases,

by what society deems to be “great.”

national disappointment) did they have

Win or lose, it's how you play the game that counts.

to deal with? Is this fair?

Of course, we should encourage

kiddish

9

FAMILY MATTERS

All chidren are accomplished and unique in their own way.

them to reach for the stars, to do their

world with reasonable expectations, that

best and to challenge themselves.

is an accomplishment, something to be

Sometimes, against all odds, they succeed

celebrated. That child should know that

– just like David and Goliath, Daniel in

we are proud of her hard work, effort

the lion’s den or the Macabees. When

and accomplishments and those parents

they do succeed, their self-esteem soars

should not feel embarrassed to share

and all is good.

this accomplishment.

However, if we expect them only to

It is true that all our children are

achieve at a very high standard every

accomplished in one way or another, so

time, we are setting them up for failure.

let’s be realistic about our expectations

They feel they have disappointed those

and cherish their accomplishments,

around them, their self-esteem wanes

building self-esteem and confidence

and all is not good. Is it fair for us to have

along the way. No matter what the rest of

unrealistic expectations of our children?

society deems to be success. ✿

It is easy to brag about their achievements when they excel but what about the child who normally struggles with math and brings home a “B.” In a

Sue Penn is a mother of three, Education Director at University Synagogue, president of Jewish Reconstructionist Educators of North America and a member of the Jewish Educators Assembly.

WE WANT THEM TO ACHIEVE AND TO SUCCEED AND TO WIN GOLD ALL THE TIME. BUT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE TO BE THE BEST?

10

LOCAL FOCUS

kiddish

Adding to the Palette Irvine Hebrew Day School Set to Open in the Fall.

BY LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY.D.

A

ccording to Karin Hepner,

of your Jewish background. “Anyone

“Every child should be able

interested in this type of education

to access a Jewish education.”

[modern Orthodox foundation] can come

And, according to Hepner,

to this school – we welcome students with

Irvine Hebrew Day School (IHDS) will be the school that is fully inclusive regardless

Irvine Hebrew Day School will be a school that is fully inclusive regardless of your Jewish background.

open arms.”

What type of education is Hepner

kiddish

11

LOCAL FOCUS

talking about? IHDS will include a rich

Whether it is Torah, Hebrew,

and dynamic learning environment that

Geography or Mathematics, Board

incorporates Judaism, Torah, spirituality

Member Andy Elster sees the school as

and general studies. And those involved in the school are “getting it right from the get go.” IHDS is committed to excellence in all areas of learning and views education as a collaboration between teachers, students, parents and the community. It is through this partnership that challenges are seen

“adding to the palette – another flavor in the Jewish Community.” And, says Jordan Gross-Richmond, “This will be a place where your children become the link to continuing tradition.”

A new school, with a new vision,

as opportunities for growth, and successes

IHDS does not lose sight of the pioneers

are celebrated together. The goal of IHDS

of Jewish education in Orange County.

is to have a full classroom and exceed

Mr. Irving Gelman and Rabbi Yitzchok

academic expectations and instill a love for Judaism and Israel.

For Tammy Keces, building IHDS has been a “dream come true.” Keces is a longtime educator and Orange County’s only

Newman are seen as the pioneers of Jewish education in Orange County by all of those involved with IHDS. “They created a garden within a dessert, and we

trainer in Certified Positive Discipline in

are honored and humbled to follow in

the classroom. She is now the Principal of

their footsteps . . . ” Says Hepner. ✿

IHDS and will provide secular education.

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. “It teaches gratitude … ” says Hepner. “What better way to express that gratitude then learning about davening and Torah.”

Dr. Lisa Grajewski has been a contributing writer for JLife since 2004. She is a former professional in the Orange County Jewish community, with over 10 years experience as a volunteer and professional. Dr. Grajewski recently graduated with a doctoral degree in Clinical Forensic Psychology and is currently working toward licensure with a private practice in Tustin.

Positive Discipline

★★★

Positive Discipline uses effective strategies to create engaging, supportive, peaceful and caring classroom communities. Curriculum design and implementation is grounded in the building blocks for communication: conducting classroom meetings, differentiating learning, discipline methods that focus on solutions and long-term learning, 21st century critical thinking and problem solving skills.

To find out more about IHDS or to download an application, go to www.irvinehebrewday.org. Look out for updates on enrollment and information in future issues of Kiddish!

THIS WILL BE A PLACE WHERE YOUR CHILDREN BECOME THE LINK TO CONTINUING TRADITION.”

12

LOCAL FOCUS

Celebrate Israel The 66th Independence Day Festival is just around the corner.

There is something for everyone at the 2014 Israeli Expo. Come join the fun!

kiddish

kiddish

13

LOCAL FOCUS

Let your personailty shine with hands-on family activities.

J

oin thousands of SoCal residents

GAMES & RIDES

for one of the O.C.'s most

A zipline, slot car racing, Xbox games,

beloved cultural extravaganzas!

a water walking ball pool, bungee

Israel Expo is the O.C.’s largest

trampoline, a laser tag maze, rock-climbing

community celebration of Israel,

wall, clowns and jugglers, arts and crafts,

drawing over 10,000 people of all faiths

balloon artists, airbrush face painting, an

and backgrounds to experience Israeli

inflatable slide and obstacles, a trackless

culture, history and values. Enjoy live

train, mechanical bull and more.

entertainment, great food, arts, shopping, kids’ activities, exhibits and much more.

Fun for all ages!

For 66 years, Israelis have reached

SHALOM FAMILY’S GARDEN OF READIN’ Located in the Kidtopia area, the Shalom

higher, raising the bar as they achieve

Family's Garden of Reading is a children's

the extraordinary. Join us as we salute

literature fun zone. It has a book fair,

that spirit of excellence and showcase

story-themed arts and crafts, storytellers,

Israel’s contributions to Health and

strolling characters, face painters, balloon

Wellness, Science and the Arts. And

artists, book signings and meet and greets

don’t forget, there is a TON of great

with great children's literature authors.

things for kids to do!

Come join the fun!

14

LOCAL FOCUS

kiddish

Children's choirs join world renowned artists on stage.

KIDOTOPIA LIVE PERFORMANCE ZONE 1:15 PM: The Puppets & Players Little Theatre

ENJOY LIVE ENTERTAINMENT, GREAT FOOD, ARTS, SHOPPING, KIDS’ ACTIVITIES EXHIBITS AND MUCH MORE.

CHILDREN’S ENTERTAINMENT & ENRICHMENT ZONE A caricature artist, face painter,

1:45 PM: Magic Show with Naathan Phan

photographer and strolling characters

2:15 PM: Mr. Lemur’s Train of Thought (Jen & Hans Hartvickson)

(Elsa, Anna, Cinderella, Spiderman,

2:30 PM: Archibald’s Swiss Cheese Mountain (Sylvia Lieberman)

and twist, balloon artists and other

2:40 PM: The Puppets & Players Little Theatre

Cohen from CreativePartiesForKids.com

Curious George, Pirate, Elmo), hair updos professional children's entertainers by Lisa

3:30 PM: The Whimsical World of Sheri Fink

THE PUPPETS & PLAYERS LITTLE THEATRE

3:45 PM: Join us on main stage for Israel@66 Ceremony

was founded in 1991 by Laurie Branham

4:30 PM: Storytime with Storylady

and Gilbert (Gil) Olin. Their goal was to

5:00 PM: The Puppets & Players Little Theatre

revive traditional puppet theatre, an art

The Puppets & Players Little Theatre

form that has entertained and educated

kiddish

15

LOCAL FOCUS

young and old for centuries. Having in

Disneyland Park and Resort, movies like

mind underserved children, the artists also

"Superbad, " television programs such

wanted to make live theatre accessible to

as "America's Got Talent," "Reno 911!" and

those whose primary entertainment outlet

"Tosh.0," and even at the exclusive, world-

was television. So, with a "Gypsy" approach,

famous Magic Castle in Hollywood.

they created a self-contained theater on wheels in a Baroque style, inspired by an Italian opera house located in Milan. "Puff,

BARKS OF LOVE Barks of Love is the only non-profit

the Magic Dragon� is a half-hour show and

canine rescue program in Orange County

features marionettes and hand puppets,

committed to matching dogs with ideal

delightful songs and an energetic live

foster families that will give them the best

performance by Gil Olin, who doubles as a

chance at permanent, loving homes. Barks

storyteller and a pirate.

of Love is one of the few animal rescue organizations to take a proactive approach

MAGIC SHOW WITH NAATHAN PHAN Naathan Phan is a true entertainer

in ensuring the welfare of our dogs. Visit the puppies at the Barks of Love booth

ON SUNDAY, MAY 18, FROM 1 TO 6 P.M. IN IRVINE, JOIN THOUSANDS OF SOCAL RESIDENTS FOR ONE OF THE O.C.'S MOST BELOVED CULTURAL EXTRAVAGANZAS!

and meet your new best friend. âœż

whose talents have been featured at

There are games and fun to be had every where you turn.

16

FAMILY MATTERS

Feeding The Mind Great literary resources for parents.

BY LAURA ARON MILHANDER

A

ddressing issues of mental

A selection of books for children and

health with our children

youth that have a theme of parental

can be intimidating: Where

mental illness.

do we start? How much do

we tell children? How should we act, and how should we expect them to act?

Difficult conversations can be eased by the use of children’s literature. Today, finding children’s books addressing the

Publisher’s notes and/or brief descriptions included. Compiled by Sharon Van Volkingburgh, RCSW (included here with her permission).

www.interprofessional.ubc.ca/CYMHM/

variety of mental health issues we face

documents/PA21.pdf

is literally a click away. Search engines

Allen County Public Library,

and commercial websites generate

Fort Wayne, IN

book lists and enable easy purchases in minutes, or provide names of books and authors to find in many public libraries.

As a start, below are several

www.acpl.lib.in.us/children/illnesses_ mental.html Cranberry Counseling:

websites which list children’s books on

Child, Adolescent, Family,

a variety of mental illness issues. For

and Adult Services

books specifically targeting the Jewish

(Plymouth County, MA)

audience, search Jewish Publishers or

www.children-psychology-

Jewish Children’s Books Publishers and

and-mental-health.com/

browse the catalogs of the variety of

books-kids.html

publishing companies.

(Please note, this sampling of lists is

provided for the readers’ convenience.

The books listed themselves would need to be individually reviewed to assure they meet the needs and approval of any interested reader.)

Books Dealing with Children’s Mental Health: Topics for Children, Adolescents, and their Parents

www.baltimorepsych.com/ books.htm ✿

Children Understanding Mental Illness: Books for Children that Explain Mental Illness and Family Issues

www.goodreads.com/list/show/40707.

Children_understanding_Mental_Illness

Laura Aron Milhander has a background in Jewish Studies and both Jewish and secular education. She and her husband, Rabbi Kenneth Milhander are the parents of four children and live in Orange County.

DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS CAN BE EASED

BY THE USE OF CHILDREN’S LITERATURE.

kiddish

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We like you.

It’s ok if you like us too.

Join us on Facebook for news, updates and more.

Come and say hello. We’d love to hear from you.

www.ocjewishlife.com

949.734.5074

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Full Day Camps: June 23-27, July 7-11, July 21-26 Mini Camps: June 30-July 2, July 15-17 Full Day Camps for players ages 7-13 Mornings are filled with skills, drills and techniques...the afternoon is a series of games, leading up to the famous World “Serious” Games on Friday afternoon.

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18

THE ARTS

kiddish

Changing The World One (dance) step at a time.

BY LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY.D.

"The Swan Lake Fusion" gives a new twist to an old favorite.

T

here are no ugly ducklings in Idan Cohen and Noa Shiloh’s version of Swan Lake. As a matter of fact, "The Swan Lake

Fusion," a collaboration between the Department of Dance of UCI’s Claire Trevor School of the Arts and Israel is using the beauty of dance to cross cultural boundaries. The program fuses a contemporary, Israeli-influenced version (created by Cohen), an Asian / Chinese inspired version by one of UCI’s assistant professors in the dance department, Tong Wang, and a traditional, European interpretation by Department of Dance lecturer Diane Diefenderfer.

But Shiloh, a solo dancer who has created and performed with Israel’s major dance companies and taught dance on three continents, went beyond the stage and, reached out to The Wooden Floor in Santa Ana. In March, Shiloh taught

kiddish

19

THE ARTS

Dancers start out coming a couple days a week, but end up coming many more!

two master classes at the school and

college. Out performing their peers three-

brought a new approach to the school.

fold, students are part of a ripple effect

The Wooden Floor, which provides a 10-

that leads to leadership and success.

year journey for low income and Latino

"The Swan Lake Fusion"performance,

youth, begins in the third grade and

which is part of the partnership between

continues through graduation. Combining

UCI and The Rose Project, will debut in

academics, college preparation and social

the Myers Theater on the Samueli Jewish

services, Wooden Floor provides wrap-

Campus, 1 Federation Way, Irvine on

around services in addition to dance.

Wednesday, May 28 at 7:00 p.m.

“[Dancers] start out at two days a

To find out more about The Wooden

week, but end up [attending] four to six

Floor go to: thewoodenfloor.org. You can

days a week,” says Melanie Rios Glaser,

download video and school information

Artistic and Co-CEO. Bringing Shiloh to

by going to the magazine website at

the school created an opportunity that

ocjewishlife.com. ✿

provided exposure to forward-thinking artists, and is the reason, says Glaser, “We are seeing a change in the under served youth we serve.”

The school will mark its own 10year journey this year by celebrating 100 percent of Wooden Floor students graduating high school and enrolling in

Dr. Lisa Grajewski has been a contributing writer for JLife since 2004. She is a former professional in the Orange County Jewish community, with over 10 years experience as a volunteer and professional. Dr. Grajewski recently graduated with a doctoral degree in Clinical Forensic Psychology and is currently working toward licensure with a private practice in Tustin.

THE WOODEN FLOOR, WHICH PROVIDES A 10-YEAR JOURNEY FOR LOW-INCOME AND LATINO YOUTH, BEGINS IN THE THIRD GRADE AND CONTINUES THROUGH GRADUATION.

20

FAMILY MATTERS

kiddish

JCC of Orange County Celebrating brighter futures for our children.

S

unday, June 1 the JCC

Adrienne Matros shares “Our Celebration

Celebration Ball will celebrate

Ball honorees inspire, invigorate and allow

Brighter Futures for Our

the Merage JCC to accomplish more for

Children. Chaired by Adrienne

our children every day.”

Matros and Wendy Stark, the Celebration

Merage JCC’s preschool encompasses

Ball will honor the achievements of

Jewish values while offering unparalleled

CHOC Children’s Hospital of Orange

education, excellent programming and a

County; the JCC Preschool Expansion,

nurturing environment.

and its chairs, Jay Witzling and

All proceeds from the JCC

Scott Cross; and JCC’s own artiste

Celebration Ball support scholarships to

extraordinaire, Lynne Kaplan.

children, ensuring brighter futures for all.

Honorees exemplify the Merage JCC’s

Tickets for the gala are $250 per

mission to enrich Jewish identities and

person and available by calling the

create a vibrant Jewish community in

JCC at (949) 435-3400 or online at

Orange County. Celebration Ball co-chair

www.jccoc.org. ✿

As seen o MSNBC.con m

Take a walk around the neighborhood Tails from the Fishbowl is a collection of animal portraits taken

by Rachel Bellinsky while walking her dog through their Southern California neighborhood. This 72-page book features colorful, charming images of a world where every pet has a room with a view.

A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Humane Society.

Available at www.rachelbellinsky.com

kiddish

21

FAMILY FUN

kosher dog ENTER OUR MONTHLY PHOTO CONTEST TO SEE YOUR DOG HERE!

M

eet the super Pomeranian duo, “Fenster” and “Edie.”

Originally, Mom & Dad’s bed was “off-limits” but that

didn’t last very long. It is now deemed the “Family Bed” and every night is a Pomeranian Slumber Party. When they are not taking over furniture, they love to take long walks and check out new dogfriendly places around the O.C. (Check out the information on the new local Dog Park "La Paws" in Mission Viejo on page 22). “Fenster” and “Edie” are the pride and joy of Mody and Tracey Gorsky and live in Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.

Kosher Dog Contest Our pets are definitely part of our families and here at Kiddish magazine we want to know what your four-legged friends are up to. Please send a picture of your pooch to pics@mydogbowl.com and tell us what they love to do in our wonderful Orange County neighborhood (a picture at the location is even better).

Kitties are welcome too! We'll pick a winner each month, put their picture in the magazine and provide a wonderful treat for them courtesy of My Dog Bowl. ✿

Fenster and Edie

22

FAMILY FUN

kiddish

New In the OC The La Paws Dog Park

This handsome devil got all spruced up for the grand opening.

T

he Mission Viejo Dog Park cel-

a minimal impact on the environment.

ebrated its grand opening on

So if you are looking for a fun new place

Saturday April 12th and was

to take your family (the furry members

greeted to a rousing round of

included) head on down to the new

furry approval. Little dogs, big dogs and

park and create some lasting memories

those that are in between all “woofed”

of your own.

it up and celebrated having a special place just for them.

The six-acre park has three acres

Hours and Location The Mission Viejo Dog Park is lo-

of slopes, three acres of usable area

cated at 25100 Felipe Road just south

for dogs to run, and a 40-car parking

of Gilleran Park. The park is open

lot and a plaza for special events and

from 7:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.. The park

a walking trail that takes advantage of

will be closed on Thursdays from 8:00

the wonderful Arroyo views. The dog

a.m. until 1:00 p.m. for weekly turf

park was also specially designed to have

maintenance. ✿

HEAD ON DOWN TO THE NEW PARK AND CREATE SOME LASTING MEMORIES OF YOUR OWN.

7. CENTRAL SULCAS Is said to have a map of the body on each side that matches the other side.

6. MEDULLA Contains many small nuclei involved in a wide variety of sensory functions.

2. OCCIPITAL LOBE Located at the back of the brain and is associated with visual stimuli.

1. PREFRONTAL LOBE Associated with emotions, memory, learning, and social behavior.

3. PONS Contains nuclei that control sleep, respiration and swallowing.

8. FRONTAL LOBE One of the four major lobes of the cerebral cortex in the brain.

4. CEREBELLUM Modulates the outputs of other brain systems to make them precise.

9. SYLVIAN FISSURE A deep indention that divides the lobes of the human brain.

5. TEMPORAL LOBE Important for interpreting sounds and the language we hear.

10. PARIETAL LOBE Associated with processing tactile sensory information such as pressure.

6 FRONTAL LOBE MEDULLA

3

4

PREFRONTAL LOBE

5 9

CEREBELLUM OCCIPITAL LOBE

2

TEMPORAL LOBE CENTRAL SULCUS PONS

PARIETAL LOBE

1

SYLVIAN FISSURE

8

7

10

This is what you have floating around on the inside of your head! Use the numbers to match up the medical terms for the different sections of your brain.

The Brain Game GAMES

23

kiddish

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F E AT U R E S

UNITED IN EXCELLENCE The President of Ben-Gurion University of the Negev and the Chancellor of the University of California, Irvine signed a general Memorandum of Understanding in 2012, noting the similarities between the two universities. UC Irvine and BGU were founded within five years of each other in the late 1960s and now boast world-class researchers, laboratories and student bodies of more than 20,000.

UC Irvine Chancellor Dr. Michael Drake and BGU President Prof. Rivka Carmi discussed the fields in

which they hoped to encourage collaboration and faculty exchanges, including hydrology, earth sciences, nanotechnology and more. The two compared the consistent rise of each university despite the global financial crisis and noted the role their universities play in developing the region where they are located.

According to Carmi, “The things we are achieving are very similar. Maybe as smaller, younger universities, we don’t take ourselves for granted and work harder to achieve.” A

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Jlife

| MAY 2014 37

Jewish law dictates that a funeral must take place as soon after a death as possible, so the stress of planning after a person’s passing can be overwhelming for those left behind.

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38 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

Support our dog’s Hebrew education!

Students Give the Gift of Sight to Israeli Blind Students are urged to help sponsor a puppy, either as a class Tzedakah Project, or as a Mitzvah Project for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah, to assist blind Israeli veterans and civilians in regaining their lives.

For information call 215-343-9100

968 Easton Road, Ste. H · Warrington, PA 18976

www.israelguidedog.org Jlife

| MAY 2014 39

F E AT U R E S

ALIYAH Hierarchy in the Homeland

BY MERAV CEREN

ALIYAH is the immigration of Jews from the diaspora to the land of Israel (Eretz Yisrael). Also defined as “the act of going up.”

40 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

ANY JEWISH DAY school or Zionist literature teaches a basic narrative of the inception of Israel: from the ashes of history, the Jewish people rose to begin again in the land of their forefathers. And today, for the first time in millennia, we have a grand experiment – the Jewish state. And we are asked – how will the Jewish people govern themselves, and how will each of us contribute to the Jewish collective?

Traditionally, the response has been simple: move to Israel.

Aliyah, the immigration and attainment of citizenship by a Jewish person under the Right of Return, is considered by many Jewish communities as one of the highest pursuits of any Jewish person. But with the drive to immigrate to Israel comes judgment against those who do not make the move, or at least do not spend some time in the country. The perception that a Jew is only as good as the place in which they live is divisive to the Jewish community at large, and we should rethink our viewpoints on how we see those who choose the Diaspora and, even more important, those who spend some time in Israel, but choose to return to America.

Moving back to Israel is the most important step I took as a young adult. It was the right decision for me, though I am the most secular kind of secular Jew. But once I moved to Israel and began to meet other Jews from North America, I learned of an inherent hierarchy in which the community of American Jews in Israel tends to view the Jewish people. At the top sit those who have made aliyah and intend to stay permanently; next, those who had come to Israel but “couldn’t hack it” and returned home; and at the bottom of the totem pole reside those who never intend to leave the Diaspora.

This hierarchy contributes to divisions between those of us who’ve moved to Israel and our friends back home, and that isn’t fair to either side of that equation. It’s become something of a tradition: every friend who visits me in Israel, without fail, insists on beginning a conversation in which he (or she) tells me in a hushed voice filled with shame and fear how desperately he wishes that moving to Israel were feasible for him, that he really wants to, but it’s not right for him, not right now. I don’t think a single one of them believes me when I say that I understand and respect their life decisions, and I’d prefer they not venerate mine.

There is hope that some organizations are beginning to understand that a strong Jewish community, wherever it is, is essential for the continuation of the Jewish people. Back in 2010, the Jewish Agency, the traditional coordinator for aliyah, caused uproar when it chose to pivot its new strategy from actively building the State of Israel to building strong Jewish communities in the Diaspora. The backlash against this new direction was immediate and fiery. In a JPost article published shortly after the organization announced its new mission statement, Haviv Rettig Gur quoted an unnamed lay person who went as far as to say, “First they [the Jewish Agency] sold off aliyah to Nefesh B’Nefesh [the non-profit responsible for facilitating aliyah for North Americans], and now they’re abandoning it altogether because they’ve written it off as impossible.” But the Jewish Agency countered that it was responding to “declining Jewish solidarity, the weak sense of belonging to the Jewish People and the lack of meaningful connections between Israelis and world Jewry.” In its logic, aliyah will not happen if the Diaspora contin-

F E AT U R E S

The Jewish Agency is taking a new view of aliyah.

ues to feel disconnected and alienated from its Israeli brethren. They have the right of it, and we should encourage all Jewish individuals to follow their own paths, whether that means moving to Israel, spending a couple years here, coming for visits, or living fulfilling, Jewish lives in the Diaspora and never coming to visit.

We cannot continue to see aliyah as something to judge our fellow Jews by. We need a new understanding of what it means to grow the Jewish state. I encourage all who are interested to come, even if it’s “only” for a few years. Many of the individuals I have met in my years here were not here permanently, but they returned to their hometowns and encouraged others to come. While here, they do research, volunteer within Israel’s low-income and refugee communities, or attend ulpan and keep Hebrew alive for another generation (to name just a few ways in which these indi-

viduals contribute substantively to the Jewish State). But many who come here feel trapped, as though leaving is failing. I hope that some can come and feel no qualms or twinges of guilt if they choose to return home. We, all Jews, should stop behaving as though coming to Israel only counts if you stay forever. The Jewish people were not meant to be divided over the state of Israel. Jews come in so many stripes and attempting to paint us all with one brush, and say there is only one place that is appropriate for us to live is hyperbolic. Our grand experiment is meant to be a place of refuge, a guarantee that there will always be a place for Jews. It can only continue to be so if it is welcoming to everyone, for however long each individual decides to take advantage of it.

Merav Ceren is a contributing writer to JLife Magazine.

We cannot continue to see aliyah as something to judge our fellow Jews by.

Jlife

| MAY 2014 41

F E AT U R E S

SOCIETYROUNDUP

FACES OF THE COMMUNITY | MAY 2014

Heritage Pointe Honorees While these seniors may not be famous, Heritage Pointe honored them for their yeoman service on April 30.

Recipients of 100-hour pins: Carrie Chotiner, Jane Fischel, Judy Glass, Marilyn Grant, Karen Meltz, Kathy Metzger, Linda Meysjebs, Ellen Brooks Recipients of 1000-plus hours awards: Marlene Mitnick (7000), Elaine Rosenberg (2500), Barbara Lebovitz (2000), Dr. Joseph Lebovitz (1800), Gloria Friedman (1000), Roz Robbins (1000), David Friedman (1000) Heritage Pointe, the Jewish senior residence in Mission Viejo, also honored 75 community volunteers and 30 in-house (resident) volunteers for their service through 2013. The program included refreshments and a piano performance by Chris Winn.

An Unorthodox Romance A new novel by Orange County’s Brenda Barrie has just been published by Gray Matter Imprints of Irvine. An Unorthodox Romance is Barrie’s third contemporary Jewish novel, featuring some of the same characters who appeared in her earlier works, The Binding and The Rabbi’s Husband.

The Binding is about three men who are the sons of Holocaust survivors. The Rabbi’s Husband addresses the concerns of women rabbis working in a profession that was exclusively male for such a long time. An Unorthodox Romance, which begins and ends right here in Orange County, is set mainly in Israel and concerns the inequities affecting marriage in Israel.

“I didn’t set out to write ‘issue novels,’” says the author, “but to tell a good story.”

Barrie is quick to point out that hers is not a novel about agunot, “chained women” whose husbands will not issue them a religious divorce according to Jewish Law. Barrie, originally from Canada, has lived and worked in the professional Jewish community for Federations, synagogues and other Jewish organizations in her hometowns of Winnipeg, Minneapolis, Baltimore and now Orange County.

Barrie’s book was officially launched late in April in Winnipeg where her books have always topped the best seller list and where her children and many of her grandchildren live. There was also a U.S. launch in Minneapolis, and there will be another launch in May in Orange County.

Brenda Barrie and her husband, Sid Bursten, live in Laguna Woods, Calif.

Continued on page 44 42 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

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Jlife

| MAY 2014 43

F E AT U R E S Continued from page 42

SOCIETYROUNDUP

FACES OF THE COMMUNITY | MAY 2014

hundreds of TV and radio shows, and she was a regular on the popular “Steve Allen Show.”

The book is about, as she says, “Graying and Giggling in the age of Googling.”

The book runs the gamut of humorous scenarios, from weight loss to senior romance, from how to stop smoking to cold remedies. It is truly a barrel of laughs. Here is a little taste of how the Marshall plan works to tickle your funny bone: “Never deny any type of emotional pain or it will show up elsewhere on the body or in a car crash or other mishaps.”

On “girth control,” her mind tries to negotiate a truce with her body: “MIND: How about no more scolding? I won’t remind you a moment on your lips is forever on your hips, thighs and chins, both of them. And I promise not to say you are a bad person when you finish the kid’s leftover dinner each night…” BODY: Good. Because the more you yelled, the worse I felt, and the worse I felt the more I ate.

I am convinced you are sincere in your wish to reach a lasting ‘sveltness.’ Let’s celebrate with a brief interruption in our talks and order pizza.”

On clutter: “While I have a place for everything, I do not really know where that place is. I long for the day when every item in the universe has its own beeper that I can click on to appear in the room that I am in.”

On car mechanics, Marshall describes her visit to a car repair shop: Mechanic: “Well it really hurts me to tell you this, Miss,” said the mechanic, “but you have diminishing pressure.

You appear to have corrosion around your terminals and obviously your condenser is shot to hell.”

Dancin’ with the Scars

Marshall: “I thought he was terribly rude and wondered why he didn’t also mention my weight gain while he was insulting me.” Then, she asked, “What about the car?”

While you are making giant strides to actually act upon your New Year resolutions, there is a tendency to feel twinges of guilt when some of them seem to fall by the wayside during the first few weeks and months. Your guilt might even lead to depressing and negative thoughts.

Life hasn’t always been a bowl of cherries for Marshall.

She’s had her share of pits, but she continues to follow her “mission statement”:

BY LES GOLDBERG

What’s the solution? Try laughing.

Get your hands on a relatively new book, Dancin’ Schmancin’ with the Scars: Finding the Humor No Matter What!, by author and celebrity award-winning humorist Jan Marshall, a Laguna Hills resident and founder of the International Humor and Healing Institute. Her resume includes hosting her own TV series and appearances on

44 MAY 2014 |

Jlife

“Humor as a universal language promotes rapport among individuals. It has the potential, along with art, athletics and music, in creating a liaison between people, perhaps the ultimate common denominator. Through shared laughter we will bring about our global purpose of caring for one another.”

One of Marshall’s greatest fans throughout the years is Phyllis Diller, pioneer stand-up comedienne, who said: “Jan’s writing is so full of humor and zest for living. Her book literally sings.” A

Laguna Playhouse

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| MAY 2014 45

News & Jews OC JEWISH SCENE | MAY 2014

Israel: Past And Present

10 Years With Rabbi Nancy Myers

Attend four Thursday evenings, May 8 to 29, with renowned professors Dr. Jeffrey Blutinger and Dr. Glen Yago: “Build and Be Rebuilt While Fighting and Being Fought: The Creation of the State of Israel and the Wars Over its Existence” (May 8): “The Invisible Problem That Everyone Saw: Israel and the Rise of Palestinian Identity” (May 15): “The “Fossil” Bursts into Life: the Continual Conflict Over the Place of Religion in Israeli Society” (May 22): “Israel’s Transition from StartUp Nation to Global Nation” (May 29). For more information, call the JCC at (949) 435-3400.

On May 9, Temple Beth David of Westminster will honor Rabbi Nancy Myers and her contributions as Spiritual Leader of the synagogue starting at 5:30 p.m. She received her B.A. in philosophy at Binghamton University, N.Y. in 1991. After college, she was accepted at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, where she received her Masters of Hebrew Letters, and was ordained as a rabbi in New York City in 1997.

She became Temple Beth David’s Spiritual Leader in 2004. To find out more information, place an ad, or become an event sponsor, call (714) 892-6623.

Remembering Anne Frank The Merage Jewish Community Center (JCC) brought a national exhibit straight from The Anne Frank Center in New York City. Volunteer docents provided free tours of the exhibit that included family photos, materials, images and story details that haven’t been widely available before. “For the first time, we got a fuller picture of what was happening at the time and what eventually happened to Anne, her family and the others in the annex,” says Yael Brudner, Cultural Arts Director at the Jewish Community Center.

University Synagogue to Honor Educators On May 17, University Synagogue will honor University Synagogue Education Director Sue Penn and Pre-School Director Heidi Kahn for their dedication and contribution to educating synagogue youth. Taking advantage of the honorees’ South African roots, the gala will transform the beautiful Island Hotel in Newport Beach into an African evening filled with song, dance and celebration. To find out more about the gala, become a sponsor, or to place an ad, call (949) 553-3535.

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F E AT U R E S

Sitting Shiva: The 7-Day Salute Modern-day Mourning

Dear N.:

your question betrays a lack Irving, my beloved husband of of understanding of an impor34 years, was taken from us tant basic principle. You ask, just yesterday. His system was “Who should I invite?” but that is the not the right ravaged by the merquestion. The right cury poisoning he question is, “whom Facebook, developed from eatshould I invite?”

YOU’D ing too much gefilte

LAUGHING IT OFF IN ORANGE COUNTY

Our sages have THINK fish. (Not my hometaught that the made gefilte fish, AJew God forbid. My sisINVENTED practice of shiva dates back to the ter brought it over. It IT earliest days of the looked a little funny Jewish people. But, but what, I shouldn’t serve it at my Seder table? She let’s face it, in the old country, when somebody died it would be furious!) wasn’t exactly a secret. Mottel I will miss my Irving for the rest would tell Shayndl who would of my days. But first things first: tell Menachem who wouldn’t who should I invite to the shiva tell you, because you and he and what should I serve? haven’t spoken since that ganif — Bereft Bubbe cheated you at cards, but he did tell Dovid who told Golde who told you. (Little known Dear Bereft: fact: eventually, this rapid First, my condolences on your transmission of information loss. As Jews around the world became known as “going viral.” say when they hear of a death, If somebody went from a virus, baruch dayan emet, which everybody in the shtetl got the means, “Blessed is the Lord who news within minutes.) took that other poor schmuck In modern times, we are blessed instead of me.” with Facebook, a sophisticated Now to your issue. I’m afraid

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electronic platform for publish-

F E AT U R E S

ing death announcements for Jews worldwide. For this purpose Facebook is so well-suited, you’d think a Jew invented it. One post to the Facebook wall of the recently departed, and all of his “friends” will learn the tragic news instantly, and without the awkwardness of having to come up with something comforting to say.

Inexplicably, some people may not use Facebook. So, to maximize attendance, have your sister (if you’re still speaking to her) call the town yenta and tell her confidentially that you’re having a small, exclusive shiva with only your closest friends. If you whisper it, they will come.

The rules surrounding shiva can be daunting, which is why you ought to ignore them entirely.

You’re in mourning – you don’t have enough to worry about already? You’ll want to lay out your nicest silverware, and wear something attractive, though it is best if you avoid a festive look, as people may talk. (Flowers are always nice; often one of the departed’s goyische friends will have thoughtfully sent some along. But balloons should definitely be avoided.) Remember: unless Irving had a whole life policy (such a provider!), or you are blissfully unaware that even as we speak, the president is stealing your social security to pay for breast implants for schnorrers who haven’t worked a day in their pitiful lives, it’s never too early to think about remarriage. Odds are that your

A JEWISH MAN WALKS INTO A BAR...

Planning the shiva menu is always a challenge.

next suitor is somebody you already know, which means he is likely to visit during shiva.

Make a nice impression.

Planning the shiva menu is always a challenge. Sure, there are those who would say that it is up to the friends of the mourner to provide the food at the Meal of Consolation. That it is unfair (and contrary to centuries of tradition) to expect the newly bereaved to shop and cook for themselves, much less for dozens of condolence callers.

That when comforting a friend in a time of loss one should not be motivated primarily by the smorgasbord that awaits.

To such puritans I say: narishkeit! Everything from the casket to the service to the shiva is a

reflection of the depth of your feelings for the recently departed. Does a box of Entenmann’s and some bagels (without lox, yet) say “this is somebody I loved?” Of course not. You wouldn’t bury Irving in a cardboard box; don’t serve your shiva guests from one either.

Finally, for such a quintessentially Jewish occasion, you should be sure to keep the dietary laws in mind. If you are putting out deli meats, for example, it’s important that you not offer a dairy dessert until after the rabbi has left. And, Bereft, in your particular case, I think I would avoid serving the fish.

Moshe was talking to his psychiatrist.

“I had a weird dream recently,” he says. “I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face. I found this so worrying that I immediately awoke and couldn’t get back to sleep. I just stayed there thinking about it until 7 a.m. Then, I got up, made myself a slice of toast and some coffee and came straight here.

What do you think this dream means?”

The psychiatrist kept silent for some time, then said, “One slice of toast and coffee? Do you call that a breakfast?”

— N. Troyer

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concert highlights ROGER CLYNE AND THE PEACEMAKERS Performing at the Coach House on May 8, The Peacemakers are known to cross many different and eclectic genres. As members of the 90s band, The Refreshments, Clyne and drummer Paul “P.H.” Naffah regrouped and set out under the moniker Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. Clyne and Naffah were originally joined by former Gin Blossom Scott Johnson, who left to rejoin his former band in 2002.

MICKEY AVALON BRAHMS, BARTOK AND BEYOND Eastern European folk music serves as the inspiration as the Pacific Symphony plays Bartok and Ligeti, as well as one of Brahms’ finest chamber pieces, Piano Quartet No. 1 on May 11. Concert performers include; Orli Shaham, piano, Benjamin Smolen, flute, Jessica Pearlman, oboe, Benjamin Lulich, clarinet, Rose Corrigan, bassoon, Keith Popejoy, horn, Raymond Kobler, violin, Robert Becker, viola, and Timothy Landauer, cello.

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MORRISSEY English singer and lyricist Steven Patrick Morrissey will be playing an intimate performance at the Observatory in Santa Ana on May 8. He rose to prominence in the 80s as the lyricist and vocalist of the band, The Smiths. Morrissey began a solo career in 1987, making the top ten of the UK Singles Chart on ten occasions. Widely regarded as an innovator in the indie music scene, Morrissey is considered one of the most important music figures in Western popular culture from the last 20 years.

Mickey Avalon (born Yeshe Perl) is an American rapper from Hollywood and will be playing at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano on June 6. He was raised in a Jewish family and had a turbulent childhood. He was befriended by ex-MTV VJ Simon Rex, who encouraged Avalon to rap and collaborated with him. The two began passing out demos to Hollywood clubs and soon developed a following among fans of the Santa Cruz nightclub scene.

COURTESY OF THE ORANGE COUNTY CONCERT GUIDE

THE COACH HOUSE 33157 Camino Capistrano San Juan Capistrano (949) 496-8930 Thursday, May 1 Simon Townshend Saturday, May 3 Al Stewart Sunday, May 4 Wishbone Ash Thursday, May 8 Roger Clyne Friday, May 9 Y&T Friday, May 16 Skid Row Thursday, May 22 Canned Heat Friday, May 23 The Jerry Garcia Band Saturday, May 24 Lukas Nelson Sunday, May 25 The Marshall Tucker Band Thursday, May 29 Sea Wolf Solo Acoustic Friday, May 30 Stephen Stills

GROVE OF ANAHEIM 2200 East Katella Avenue, Anaheim (714) 712-2700

MAY 4, 2014 MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA

THE HONDA CENTER 2695 E Katella Ave. Anaheim (714) 704-2400 Saturday, May 17 Powerhouse: Power 106 FM Friday, May 23 Marco Antonio Solís

Sunday, May 11 Brahms, Bartok and Beyond

Monday, May 5 Lovelife

Sunday, May 11 PSYO Season Finale

Wednesday, May 7 Brian Jonestown Massacre

Mon. May 12 - Tues, May 13 OC Can You Play With Us

Thursday, May 8 Morrissey Thursday, May 8 We Are Scientists Friday, May 9 Steel Pulse Sunday, May 11 Psycho De Mayo Friday, May 16 TSOL

1530 S. Disneyland Dr. Anaheim (714) 778-BLUE (2583)

Friday, May 23 The Adicts

Friday, May 2 Julieta Venegas Sunday, May 4 Manchester Orchestra

Wednesday, May 28 Crazy Town Saturday, May 31 Fortunate Youth

MAY 1 - 3, 2014 CIRQUE DE LA SYMPHONIE

SPAGHETTINI 3005 Old Ranch Pkwy.

Seal Beach (562) 596-2199 Friday, May 2 Chris Standring Sunday, May 4 Darryl Williams Wednesday, May 7 Terry Wollman

Tuesday, May 6 O.A.R. with Jillette Johnson

Saturday, May 10 Jackiem Joyner

Friday, May 9 Tab Benoit

Sunday, May 11 Rusty Johnson

Tuesday, May 13 Blessthefall

Wednesday, May 14 Larry Carlton

Wednesday, May 14 Lindsey Stirling

Wednesday, May 21 Black Flag Victimology

Thursday, May 15 Primal Fear

THE OBSERVATORY

Saturday, May 24 Shawn Colvin & Steve Earle

Sunday, May 4 Danny Brown

Tuesday, May 20 Band of Skulls

Saturday, May 17 Stephen “Ragga” Marley

Sunday, May 18 Danity Kane

Sunday, May 11 PSYWE Season Finale

HOUSE OF BLUES ANAHEIM

Friday, May 9 Dennis DeYoung

Friday, May 16 Jillian Michaels

Sunday, May 4 Grieves

3503 S. Harbor Blvd.

Santa Ana (714) 957-0600 Thursday, May 1 Collie Buddz Friday, May 2 Mickey Avalon Saturday, May 3 Cinco De Manic

MAY 8, 2014 WE ARE SCIENTISTS

PACIFIC SYMPHONY 615 Town Center Drive Costa Mesa (714) 755-5799 Thurs. May 1 - Sat, May 3 Cirque de la Symphonie Thurs. May 8 - Sat, May 10 From Screen to Score Saturday, May 10 Peter and the Wolf

Sunday, May 18 Andre Delano Wednesday, May 21 La Tina Webb Friday, May 23 Tony Exum Jr. Saturday, May 24 Gary Stanionis Sunday, May 25 Mark Allen Felton Saturday, May 31 Steve Oliver

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PHOTO BY BEN FINK

A&E

52 MAY 2014 |

Grilled Eggplant Salad with Jerusalem Flavors

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A&E Saffron-Lemon Shish Kebobs

PHOTO BY GREG SHNEIDER

If something tastes good baked, fried, sautéed, steamed or even raw, it probably tastes even better grilled.

GRILL IT! Lag B’Omer is a minor holiday with major culinary possibilities.

BY JUDY BART KANCIGOR

‘TIS THE SEASON for counting. And, sad to say, mourning. Lag B’Omer, literally the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer, is the one oasis of joy in the 49-day period of mourning between Passover and Shavu’ot, falling this year at sundown on May 17.

Counting the Omer refers to counting the days between the barley offering at the Temple and the wheat offering on Shavu’ot. (Stay with me here. Culinary possibilities will ensue.) The counting reminds us that our redemption from slavery, commemorated on Passover, was not complete until we received the Torah, commemorated on Shavu’ot.

Although considered a “minor” holiday, Lag B’Omer is celebrated joyfully in Israel with bonfires and picnics, where grilled and

roasted skewered meat and vegetables are popular. And when it comes to grilling, Steven Raichlen wrote the book – 28 books, really, including the international best sellers How to Grill, Barbecue Bible and Planet Barbecue. Translated into 15 languages, Raichlen’s books have won five James Beard Awards and three IACP-Julia Child Awards and have sold more than 4 million copies. Dubbed the “Gladiator of Grilling” by Oprah, Raichlen also hosts the PBS shows “Primal Grill” and “Barbecue University.”

“If something tastes good baked, fried, sautéed, steamed or even raw,” he says, “it probably tastes even better grilled.” Even our Jewish sacred cows. “We are probably the only Jewish family in Miami to barbe-

cue its brisket instead of braising it in the oven with dried fruits,” he said. “We rub it with cumin, paprika, garlic, salt and pepper and smoke it for six hours. It’s amazing barbecue, the way God meant for you to eat it!”

Raichlen credits his mom, who was in charge of the grill when he was growing up, with lighting his passion for grilling.

“Her approach to grilling was robust if not terrifying,” he recalled. “She’d light the grill in a Vesuvian whomp with gasoline – do not try this at home – and char slabs of steak until coal black on the outside and just shy of still mooing inside. She called this ‘Pittsburgh rare.’”

For Planet Barbecue alone, Raichlen traveled over six continents and 60 countries.

“The Middle East is one of the real hotbeds of grilling expertise,” he noted.

“Barbecue is not part of the Ashkenazi tradition. I don’t ever remember watching my grandfather grill, for example. None of the great cooks of that generation knew anything from fire cooking, but in Israel it’s very much a part of their culture.”

When you think of grilling, you think meat – burgers, steak, even chicken – but don’t ignore the endless possibilities of veggies on the grill. Raichlen’s inspiration for his “Grilled Eggplant Salad with Jerusalem Flavors,” a delightful dairy dish, is the Eggplant Carpaccio served at Arcadia in Jerusalem. “You’ll recognize it as a deconstructed, reconstructed version of the grilled eggplant dips and salads prevalent throughout the region,” he writes, “[with] fire-charred eggplant counter-pointed by smoky tomato sauce, nutty tahini (sesame seed paste), creamy yogurt and crunchy walnuts. Think of it as the Middle East on a salad plate.”

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A&E

The Middle East is one of the real hotbeds of grilling expertise.

Saffron-Lemon Shish Kebabs FOR THE LAMB AND MARINADE:

4 Vegetables: Cut onion into 8 chunks.

Break each chunk into individual layers.

Core and cut bell peppers into 1-inch cubes.

1 1⁄2 pounds boneless leg or shoulder of lamb, rinsed dried, cut into 1-inch cubes

5 Set up grill for direct grilling; preheat to high.

1⁄2 teaspoon saffron threads

6 Basting mixture: Crumble saffron into small bowl. Add water and let stand 5 minutes. Place margarine and lemon juice in small non-reactive saucepan. Add saffron water; cook over medium-low heat until melted, about 3 minutes. Season with pepper to taste.

1 tablespoon warm water 1⁄4 cup lemon juice 2 strips lemon zest (1⁄2 by 1 inch each) 1 teaspoon coarse salt, plus more for seasoning the kebabs 1⁄2 teaspoon black pepper, plus more for seasoning the kebabs 1 medium onion, finely chopped 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1⁄2 cup extra-virgin olive oil 2 bay leaves FOR THE VEGETABLES: 1 large onion 1 large red bell pepper 1 large green bell pepper FOR THE BASTING MIXTURE: 1⁄4 teaspoon saffron threads 1 tablespoon warm water 4 tablespoons (1⁄2 stick) non-dairy margarine, cut into 1⁄2 -inch slices

7 Thread one-fourth of lamb chunks onto

each of the 4 skewers, placing pieces of onion and bell pepper between them. Place kebabs on hot grate and grill until cooked to taste, 2 to 3 minutes per side (8 to 12 minutes in all) for medium-rare. Generously season kebabs with salt and pepper as they grill; baste with the saffron-butter mixture.

8 Transfer kebabs to a platter. Never try to eat lamb and vegetables directly off skewer, or you might burn your lips. Rather, slide them off skewer onto your plate.

Source: Adapted from How to Grill (Workman) by Steven Raichlen

Grilled Eggplant Salad with Jerusalem Flavors SERVES 4

2 tablespoons lemon juice

4 small eggplants (3 to 4 ounces each)

Black pepper

2 luscious, red ripe tomatoes

1 Don’t trim away too much fat — it will

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

help keep kebabs moist while they grill.

2 Marinade: Crumble saffron into large non-reactive mixing bowl. Add water; let stand 5 minutes.

3 Add lemon juice and zest, 1 teaspoon

salt, 1⁄2 teaspoon pepper, onion and garlic; stir until salt dissolves. Add oil, bay leaves and lamb cubes and toss to mix. Marinate lamb, covered, in refrigerator 4 hours to overnight — the longer you marinate, the richer the flavor. Stir every few hours to ensure even marinating.

3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice, or more to taste Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper

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high.

2 Brush and oil grill grate. Arrange eggplants and tomatoes on hot grate; grill until skins are blackened; 3 to 4 minutes per side, 9 to 12 minutes in all for eggplants and about 2 minutes per side, 6 to 8 minutes in all for tomatoes. Cook eggplants completely, until easily pierced with skewer.

Cook tomatoes until charred on outside but raw inside. Transfer grilled eggplants and tomatoes to aluminum foil pan to cool.

3 Using paring knife, scrape any really

burned skin off tomatoes; a few black spots will add flavor. Puree tomatoes in food processor. Add olive oil and 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Taste for seasoning, adding salt and pepper to taste and more lemon juice as necessary; sauce should be highly seasoned. Set tomato sauce aside.

4 Place garlic and 1/4 teaspoon salt in mixing bowl; mash to a paste with back of wooden spoon. Whisk in tahini. Whisk in 1/4 cup water (the sauce will thin), followed by 2 tablespoons lemon juice (sauce will thicken).

Taste for seasoning, adding more lemon juice and/or salt as necessary.

5 Using paring knife, scrape any really burned skin off eggplants; cut flesh into 1/2-inch dice. Season eggplant with salt and pepper to taste.

6 To assemble, spoon pools of tomato sauce on 4 plates or a platter. Mound eggplant in center. Spoon circles (puddles) of tahini sauce on the tomato sauce around the eggplant. Spoon yogurt over eggplant and top with walnuts and parsley. Serve at once with pita bread.

Source: Planet Barbecue (Workman)

by Steven Raichlen

1/2 clove garlic, minced 1/4 cup tahini (sesame seed paste) 1/2 cup plain thick Greek or Middle Easternstyle yogurt 1/4 cup walnuts, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped 1/4 cup coarsely chopped flat-leaf parsley Pita bread, for serving

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1 Set up grill for direct grilling; preheat to

Jlife Food Editor Judy Bart Kancigor is the author of Cooking Jewish (Workman) and The Perfect Passover Cookbook (an e-book short from Workman), a columnist and feature writer for the Orange County Register and other publications and can be found on the web at www.cookingjewish.com.

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| MAY 2014 55

PROFILE

With this project, Raichel seeks to express a different side of the state of Israel.

COLLECTIVE SOUNDS The Idan Raichel Project—more than just a project.

BY DEBORAH LEWIS

IT TAKES A moment to recognize Idan Raichel without his long dreadlocks wrapped in a turban. And yet, with or without his signature set of locks, Raichel continues to showcase his talents by creating music that is even more distinct than his appearance. In 2003, heads began to turn, but not because of his sense in fashion. With its combination of Hebrew and Amharic lyrics (a language of Ethiopia), the 56 MAY 2014 |

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song “Bo’ee” became a hit as it aired on Israel’s radio stations. This song would help Idan forever change Israeli pop music.

Don’t let the name The Idan Raichel Project fool you. Raichel is not the central talent or “front man” behind his group. The Idan Raichel Project is more than just a group.

It’s a collective of musicians from different backgrounds bringing a variety of cultures

and talents to the Project. With this project, Raichel seeks to express a different side of the state of Israel, a side full of diversity. The lyrics of his songs are mainly in Hebrew, but sprinkled throughout are Arabic, Swahili, Spanish, Hindi and Creole Portuguese. At least a hundred singers from different countries and cultures have collaborated with The Idan Raichel Project. According to his biogra-

PROFILE

It does not matter if people within the group have opposing cultural, political or religious views.

— IDAN RAICHEL

phy on idanraichelproject.com, Raichel wants to highlight the diversity of Israel and break “down barriers between people of different backgrounds and beliefs.” It does not matter if people within the group have opposing cultural, political or religious views. All that matters for the Project is that they produce great music reflecting the egalitarian structure of the collective.

Even though Raichel wants the music he produces to show that his homeland is more than just a Jewish State, it is an Israeli State, inspiration for the songs of the Project comes from Hebraic texts.

In an interview with Raphael Minder for the New York Times, Raichel explains his reason for doing so: “I use the Bible because all the most important and beautiful things have already been said…There is simply no greater love song than what you find in the Book of Psalms.” Many of the Project’s songs incorporate the book of Psalms, such as a track from the Project’s second album, “Mi’Ma’amakim,” which references Psalm 130. Despite criticism from Orthodox Jews, Raichel feels that prayers, similar to customs, should be contemporized.

While he is spreading the message of peace through The Idan Raichel Project, Raichel is also working on other collaborations. Most notable is a joint album with GRAMMY winner India Arie. One of their songs, “Gift of Acceptance,” is a beautifully performed song about tolerance and accepting each other’s differences.

After releasing its fourth album, “Quarter to Six” in 2013, The Idan Raichel Project is still on tour. The Project will be in Los Angeles for Israel’s Independence Day. This day is celebrated by Jews everywhere, and Southern California is no different. The Project will take the main stage at the Celebrate Israel Festival at Rancho Park on May 18. Whereas Idan Raichel calls Israel home, one of the members of his opening act is a native of Southern California. Nachum Peterseil and Yasha Gruzman, a duo from Los Angeles and Toronto, comprise the band Automatic Toys. Their style of music can best be described as electronic soul. While the majority of their songs are in English, a few of their lyrics are written in Hebrew. Last month, the band performed at The Mint, a famous music venue also located in Los Angeles. Their next performance will be opening for The Idan Raichel Project. Bo’ee (come with me) to support our local band as well as an internationally acclaimed group as we celebrate Israel’s Independence Day! A

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Starting this fall, she will be pursuing a Masters degree in Library and Information Science with an emphasis in Archival Studies at the University of California, Los Angeles.

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| MAY 2014 57

PROFILE

TribeFest 2014 was a roaring success.

NOLA GOES YOLO Young adults explore their Judaism together.

BY ADAM CHESTER

IMAGINE 1,500 JEWISH young adults from across North America, put them in a high-caliber hotel in New Orleans (arguably the most vibrant, festive and chaotic city in the country) for a week of connecting to Judaism and their community. Sound like a wonderful idea?

It’s already been done. TribeFest 2014 took center stage, surpassing all expectations and astonishing each participant by its immense organization, exceptional Purim parties and vast opportunities for self-growth and exploration.

TribeFest found initial success in Las Vegas in 2011. Through compelling presentations by dynamic Jewish leaders, com58 MAY 2014 |

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munity service projects, networking with diverse people and a unique opportunity to discover Judaism, TribeFest offered everything imaginable.

Three years later, Tribefest has continued its recipe for success with politics, religion, entertainment, music, art and the numberone thing on every Jews’ mind through out the three-day event, food!

Although people likely left feeling equally fulfilled by experiencing the absurd quantities of delicious Kosher food that sent enticing aromas down the Mississippi River, it didn’t hurt to add educational and spiritual elements that define TribeFest as a leader in conferences for young Jewish adults.

This year’s event featured two keynote speakers, Joshua Malina, a co-star on ABC’s hit drama “Scandal,” and Doug Ulman, President and CEO of LIVESTRONG. Each speaker explained the importance of Judaism in his own life.

Guests also received a surprise musical performance by Ben Platt, a cast member of “The Book of Mormon,”who rose to fame in the film “Pitch Perfect.”

For “TribeFesters,” the enlightening material expanded further than the affluent celebrities and influential speakers.

The key ingredient to TribeFest’s success was the innovative minds of its participants.

Without unconventional and revolutionary

PROFILE

The key ingredient to TribeFest’s success was the innovative minds of its participants.

thinking, the information that came from the presenters could have been overlooked. Controversial content such as feminism, social justice, and ignorance and hatred toward Israel presented an opportunity for participants to yield further thought and discussion amongst themselves.

A notable aspect of Tribefest, although not blatantly marketed, was a common theme directed towards the younger demographic regarding “Fruitfulness and Multiplication.”

The “gentle nudge” (aggressive shove) to schmooze and contribute to the growth of our Jewish population (not letting any eggs age out) was readily apparent. Perhaps some souls were connected.

Perhaps future romance had been sparked. Only time will tell (time being about nine months). After all, two of Tribefest’s major sponsors were JDate, the online Jewish Yente, and Pfizer, the creator of Viagra. Ironic? Perhaps. Intentional? 100%. Regardless of “true intentions,” Tribefest served its participants in a manner in which every Jewish mother would appreciate.

It wasn’t the long “Jewish Goodbyes” (typically resulting in 20 minutes of conversation while standing in a community circle before people realize they’re hungry) that got people to leave Tribefest. Participants were eager to leave 500 Canal Street and feed their hunger for more Judaism by hurrying back to their respective communities and implementing the knowledge acquired from meaningful conversations and captivating lectures.

After a long weekend in Louisiana where gumbo and Po-boy are culture, bourbon is both a drink and a destination and sleep wasn’t the top priority of anybody in attendance, there was certainly one thing to be noted. A group of Jews isn’t a community by simply calling itself a community. It takes work! Fortunately, the koakh and chutzpah of 1,500 young Jews concentrated in one room proved that they are the future of Judaism, ready to work for a stronger community and eager to fight for the continuation of a heritage often viewed as a hindrance to society by the majority of the world.

For those in fear of the younger generation losing touch with religiosity, don’t worry. We will find time to study Torah and over-feed our kids. For now, it seems that the vast majority of our passionate Jewish leaders have their sights set on building a community through collaboration and education.

With an overall desire to continue being the strongest group of people in the world, many would say we have our work cut out for us. Those who attended Tribefest would argue that this is just the beginning of a bright Jewish future. A

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Adam Chester is a contributing writer to JLife magazine.

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| MAY 2014 59

LIFESTYLE

TRIBES & FAMILIES The morning after a successful Nefesh Minyan Shabbat, a NextGen delegation of 20 from OC traveled to New Orleans to join 1,500 other Jewish young adults for the annual Jewish Federations of North America’s TribeFest.

And while our OC TribeFest delegation was getting an extra southern dose of ruach this month, Shalom Family kept it local by celebrating Passover with TVT at Passover Palooza and taking a trip to Pretend City Children’s Museum. NextGen and Shalom Family connect young adults and families with young children to each other and to Jewish OC. For more info, contact Adam Chester at NextGen@jffs.org or Stephanie Epstein at ShalomFamily@jffs.org or call (949) 435-3484.

TOP LEFT: Fayth Mahler with daughter Mikayla TOP RIGHT: Samantha Fink, Eric Feldman, Chaim Ore and Sabrina Ore MIDDLE LEFT: Ma’ayan B. at Passover Palooza MIDDLE RIGHT: Jennifer Silvers with her son Lucas BOTTOM RIGHT: Nir Ofer, Adam Chester and Mike Gold

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF JACKIE MENTER OF JEWISH FEDERATION & FAMILY SERVICES

Orange Jews

LIFESTYLE

ORANGE COUNTY’S JEWISH HISTORY Germain Packing House is a Lively Place

BY DALIA TAFT

EUGENE GERMAIN WAS born to a Jewish family in Switzerland in 1849 and immigrated to the U.S. in 1868. He arrived on the West Coast two years later and opened a restaurant, but soon became much more successful in the packing and shipping of produce.

In the late 1880s, he purchased a large lot in Santa Ana in order to build a packing house for his growing company. Located at what is now 701 E. Fruit St., the packing house, at its height, was the largest in Southern California.

On June 29, 1895 the Los Angeles

Herald reported that “The Germain packing house is a lively place just now.

Fruit packing is being pushed to the extent of their ability.” The company operated in Santa Ana until 1900, at which time it was sold to another company and continued to function well into the 20th century.

Seen below: The Germain Fruit Co. packing house, with apricots drying in the foreground, Santa Ana, c. 1900.

Eugene Germain, c. 1890.

BLOGOSPHERE Jlife wants to acknowledge some of the interesting blogs related to the Jewish community. Enjoy!

If we’re just like everybody else, what are we for? If we can’t add Jewish insights, if we can’t raise the tone of the conversation, if we can’t bring to bear Jewish challenges, then who’s going to do that? – Clive Lawton

excerpted.info Even in the midst of this tragedy there remains a beacon of hope still shining bright in our sanctuary.

A light that needs no electricity, no power except that which God gives to us. Our ner tamid, eternal light, is still shining! Powered by the sun and unaffected by what has befallen us, the ner tamid calls us to remember that no matter what, no matter where, God is always here with us.

www.ravima.com

DALIA TAFT, archivist of the Orange County Jewish Historical Society - a Connect 2 People Initiative of Jewish Federation & Family Services - highlights images from the archives every month. For more information, please visit www.jewishorangecounty.org/historical. You can also contact Dalia at or at (949) 435-3484, ext. 167.

While much of our chattering classes remain obsessed with the fear of Islamophobia and are determined to keep alive the myth of a post 9/11 backlash against American Muslims, FBI hate crime statistics continue to show that anti-Jewish attacks outnumber those directed at Muslims by a huge margin.

www.commentarymagazine.com

LIFESTYLE

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Looking for “Mr. & Mrs. ‘Just’ Right”

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e’ve all heard as children the story of this picky and pretentious Jewish Princess named Goldilocks. She clearly has an inactive Jewish mother, seeing that she breaks into someone else’s house for food. Strange, we must admit, but for whatever reason, we empathize with her. See, the matzo ball soup Goldilocks steals is too hot, another bowl, too cold. I know that the children’s version only provides us with three bowls, the last being “just right,” but we know that there are more bowls of soup to try. In the adult version, Goldilocks tries one bowl that was too heavy and another way too fluffy, some flavorless, some with too much spice. What makes Goldilocks any different from how we deal with religion and dating?

No, this is not another jab at my JDate profile. Goldilocks really did have an idea of what she wanted; just like many of us understand where Judaism fits in our lives. When we meet others, in any context, we start to classify them, using terms like: more Jewish than me, too Jewish, not Jewish enough, not religiously focused, secular, extreme, cultur64 MAY 2014 |

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more observant, or less, and vice versa? How do we as a couple navigate different desires and wants from our partner after we have made such a big commitment? Our responsibility to our families is to grow together . . . how can we accomplish religious changes together? These issues need to be discussed.

Compromises need to be made, but most importantly we are faced with the challenge of valuing one another’s differences in a working relationship.

I realize I have thrown a lot into your proverbial pot to stir, yet we do this categorizing as second nature. It is an innate reaction we have when meeting anyone.

Clearly, this affects us more when we make big life decisions, like finding a mate. Many rabbis have said that as a potential Goldilocks (gentlemen, you too can be Goldilocks!) we should make lists about what things we are willing to compromise on and other attributes on which we should not be willing to compromise. This concept of listing does not just apply to education levels, humor and height.

These attributes should also include how we navigate our Jewish future.

It seems so easy. You’re Jewish or willing to convert, I’m Jewish, let’s date! Yet, the reality is that being Jewish is never quite that simple. Like many other meaningful aspects of our lives, we need to place thought and effort into what we value in our religion and culture as well as what we are willing to negotiate. Everything is compromise, and all negotiations taste better with a bowl of soup.

we need to place thought and effort into what we value.

ally affiliated, or the most ambiguous, “just Jewish.”

These categories are subjective; they vary by our own labels and comfort level. Like Goldilocks, we are looking for that bowl of soup that is “just right.”

For example, do you wish to keep a kosher home? For many in Orange County, if the answer is yes, that may be problematic, however, it may not be. Like Goldilocks, we move to the next question. Do you want to observe Shabbat? If so, what does that mean for you? What!?!?! You eat on Yom Kippur and work? That’s cool, me too (don’t tell my mother)! Or, can we change that? I need a partner who observes Yom Kippur and makes sure our children do too. In other instances, people have converted. Does it matter to you what sect of Judaism they branched into? Are you a practicing Cohen?

These are basics. I haven’t even broken into the concept of Tzedakeh, Jewish community activities, what synagogue we would attend, or if just us having Jewish mothers is enough.

Maybe one of our moms is not Jewish. Is that okay? Yes? Awesome! No? Next bowl of soup!

In a few relationships, I have noticed the couple starts on the same religious path, but then one of them decides to veer. What happens when our partner needs to become

RACHEL SCHIFF

is an English teacher who graduated from Cal State Fullerton. She was president of Hillel, a representative of the World Union of Jewish Students and a YLD intern. Currently, she is a Master’s degree student in American Studies with emphasis on Jews in America.

got simcha?

We want your announcements!

Send us your births, birthdays, bar/bat mitzvahs, graduations, weddings or any other family milestones, and we will print it in Jlife’s new section, Simcha & Such.

Email us at editorjlife@gmail.com.

Jlife

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LIFESTYLE

FRIDAYS 10 AM Men’s Club at the J 10:30 AM Mah Jongg Refresher 11:30 AM iPhone Tips and Secrets Merage JCC

SENIORS

CALENDAR M AY 2 0 1 4

MONDAYS 9AM Gentle Yogalates & Meditation Merage JCC 10 AM News & Views 11:30 AM Drop-in Bridge 7 PM Drop-in Mah Jongg/Learn to Play Mah Jongg Merage JCC 10 AM Tai Chi 10:30 Stretching Ezra Center AACA TUESDAYS 10:30 AM The View for Women of All Ages Merage JCC

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THURSDAY, MAY 1 10:30 AM Israel Independence Day Entertainment Ezra AACA MONDAY, MAY 5 11 AM What’s Up Ezra AACA TUESDAY, MAY 6 12 PM Passport to Israel: Sights, Sounds and Tastes Merage JCC Medicare - Free Private Consultations at the Merage JCC (949) 435-3400 x 303 (Geri)

THURSDAY, MAY 15 10:30 AM To be a Jew in the Free World Ezra AACA MONDAY, MAY 19 11 AM Events that Changed the World Ezra AACA WEDNESDAY, MAY 21 10:30 AM Celebrating Orange County’s Jewish History Merage JCC 11 AM Writing for Reminiscences Ezra AACF THURSDAY, MAY 22 10:30 AM Legacy of Silence Ezra AACA TUESDAY, MAY 27 10AM Books & Bagels The Storyteller

by Jodi Picoult Merage JCC

WEDNESDAYS 10:30 AM Learn to Play Mah Jongg Merage JCC

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7 11 AM Writing for Reminiscences Ezra AACF

WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS 8:45 AM Gentle Yoga Merage JCC

THURSDAY, MAY 8 10:30 AM Mothers of Israel Ezra AACA

THURSDAYS 9:30 AM Supervised Drop-in Mah Jongg 10:30 AM Beyond the Canvas 7 PM Israel: Past & Present Lifelong Jewish Learning Lecture Series Merage JCC

MONDAY, MAY 12 11 AM History of Anaheim Ezra AACA

MONDAY, MAY 29 11 AM Jews that Changed the World Ezra AACA

TUESDAY, MAY 13 10:30 AM Wisdom in Your Life Story Merage JCC 7 PM Men’s Wine Tasting RSVP: Sid Field, (949) 464–9939 or Bacchus1961@cox.net Merage JCC

All events are at the Merage JCC, 1 Federation Way, Irvine, (949) 435-3400 x 303; www.jccoc. org; the Ezra Center at Temple Beth Emet, 1770 W. Cerritos, Anaheim, (714) 776-1103; or the Ezra Center at Temple Beth Tikvah, 1600 N. Acacia, Fullerton, (714) 871-3535 unless otherwise indicated.

9:30 AM Keeping Fit Ezra AACA

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28 10:30AM Writing Your Story Merage JCC

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| MAY 2014 67

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HARBOR LAWN MT. OLIVE PLOTS FOR SALE Cemetery in Costa Mesa Jewish Mausoleum. 2 crypts, side-by-side.

Retails at $19,500, will sell for $12,000.

Call 714-545-4057

For seniors, boomers and your loved ones…Together we have answers.

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Geriatric Care Manager (949) 632-7967 www.elder-care-manager.com

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Let’s turn your dreams into a Maui address!

Debbie Guimond, R(S) ABR, RRS (808) 298-7850 www.realestatesalesmaui.com

Find me!

Mount Olive Plots Available Two plots available in the Mount Olive section of the Harbor Lawn Mt. Olive Memorial Park in Costa Mesa.

They are located at Plot 161, spaces E & F. The cemetery is asking $12,000 for these plots. I will take $8,000.

Please call Ellen Israel with any questions at (805) 218-9747.

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Advertising Index 68 Advocates for Senior Choices 43 American Friends of Hebrew University 67 Allan Silverman 25 Andrei’s Conscious Cuisine 31 Boulevard of Travel 25 Bowlmor Lanes 67 Bubbe and Zayde’s Place 36 Burch, Coulston & Shepard, LLP 5 Cal Vista 39 Callahan & Blaine 68 Catalina Treasure Warehouse 7 Chabad Newport Beach 15 Congregation Bnai Tzedek 21 Congregation Shir Ha’amalot 68 Debbie Guimond 20 Dollinger Fine Arts 69 Dr. Ivar Roth 38 Eden Memorial Park

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68 Ellen Israel 39 Harborside Restaurant 20 Heating & Air 9 Heritage Pointe 13 Heritage Pointe at Home

10 Laguna Hills Dental Arts 45 Laguna Playhouse 15 Larry Kutinsky 59 Laura Dolan Realtor 43 Laurie & Associates

31 Schneider the Writer 3 Scholar Share 11 Segerstrom Center of the Arts 2 Sheraton Anaheim Hotel

8 Interim Healthcare

67 Linda Lewis

33 Silhouette Plastic Surgery

39 Israel Guide Dog

59 Linda Lewis

68 Solomon’s Bakery

5 J. Daniels Real Estate

67 Luggie Scooters

23 Soul Mates Unlimited

23 Jan Marshall

68 Marvin White

13 Jewish Community Center

27 Master Construction

57 South Coast Repatory Theater

15 Jewish Community Center 19 Jewish Community Center 17 Jewish Federation and Family Services 72 Jewish Federation and Family Services 60 Jewish Federation and Family Services 61 Jewish Federation and Family Services 68 John Fine Arts 31 John Milikowsky 33 Klein Financial

31 Merrill Gardens 35 Mortensen & Reinheimer PC 37 Mortensen & Reinheimer PC 57 Nancy Aynehchi 65 Naples Vacuum Elevators 27 New Life Framing 23 Law Offices of Nicole Lahmani

27 Stars ‘N Stripes 10 Stegmeier, Gelbart, Schwartz & Benavente, Llp 68 Stephen Danz & Associates 55 24 Carrots 23 Taly Hypnosis 5 Tarbut V’Torah 8 Temple Bat Yahm 4 Temple Beth David

5 Pacific Club

14 Temple Beth Sholom

20 RSM Plumbing

68 Torah with Liora

71 Saddleback College

47 Walnut Village 8 Yachad

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