Orange County Jewish Life & Kiddish Supplemental March 2014 by San Dieguito Printers

MARCH 2014 | ADAR-ADAR II 5774

FROM ISRAEL WITH LOVE New Plan on Campus EXCLUSIVE ONLINE STORIES See Page 7 for Details

Cloaked in Cowardice Anti-Semitism Takes on New Life

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MARCH 2014 | ADAR-ADAR II 5774

CONTENTS

Choice Words from the Editor

FEATURES

LIFESTYLE

Letters/Who Knew?

Panorama

Varying Degrees

Celebrating Orange County’s Jewish History /Blogosphere

40 Kids Konnection:

Fresh Orange Jews

Gen Y World

Seniors Calendar

VIEWPOINT 16

Israel Scene: When Johnny Comes Marching Home

20 On the Lighter Side: Ode to Cheese

Rabbinic Reflections: Am I Ultra?

Parashah of the Month/Torah: The Open Gates of Heaven

Krauthammer’s View: Against Ancient Poison

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

Sandwich Generation Saga

42 In a Heartbeat: Save a Child’s Heart 46

High-Level, High-Touch: The Network

A&E 50 Cooking Jewish with Judy PROFILES 54 Growing in Place: Rabbi Elie Spitz 58

Love and Light: Mikey Pauker

28 On the Cover

Why does anti-Semitism seem so prevalent now?

ONLINE EXCLUSIVES ONLY AT OCJEWISHLIFE.COM E-WORDS Peace Talks

NEWS Up-to-the-Minute, from Around the World

ISRAELI GUY Big and Little Visits

FINAL DESTINATION Hillside Mortuary Offers Alternatives

DESERT DESTINATION Opera Arts Honors Dr. Raul Ruiz

Dr. Raul Ruiz OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

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PUBLISHER | MODY GORSKY, LLM, MBA CO-PUBLISHER | MARK EDELSTEIN PUBLISHER | MOTAN, LLC PUBLISHER EMERITUS | DR. MARK MOSS EDITOR IN CHIEF | ILENE SCHNEIDER ART DIRECTOR | RACHEL BELLINSKY CONTRIBUTING EDITOR | HARRIETTE ELLIS FOOD EDITOR | JUDY BART KANCIGOR EDITORIAL INTERN HANNAH SCHOENBAUM CONTRIBUTING WRITERS BARBARA BOARNET, MARTIN BROWER, FLORENCE DANN, RABBI DAVID ELIEZRIE, JUDY FLORMAN, STEFANEE FREEDMAN, LISA GRAJEWSKI, EVE GUMPEL, CARINE NADEL, PAMELA PRICE, NAOMI RAGEN, MAYRAV SAAR, RACHEL SCHIFF, ANDREA SIMANTOV, REINA SLUTSKE, TEDDY WEINBERGER CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS/ARTISTS RACHEL BELLINSKY, ALLEN BEREZOVSKY BILL CASPER, PEPE FAINBERG, JANET LAWRENCE, CHARLES WEINBERG ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES DIANE BENAROYA (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE), ALAN MOSS, MARTIN STEIN, SETH SCHILLER EDITORIAL (949) 786-6270, ILENESCHNEIDER@AOL.COM ADVERTISING (949) 812-1891, SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS SALES@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM, (949) 734-5074 ART ART@OCJEWISHLIFE.COM ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE, LLC 1 FEDERATION WAY, IRVINE, CA 92603

OCJL is published monthly by Orange County Jewish Life, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to OCJL, 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste. 204, San Diego, CA 92121. Orange County Jewish Life is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. Orange County Jewish Life is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. Orange County Jewish Life reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. OCJL is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to OCJL become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return of such material. Orange County Jewish Life is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. All contents © 2014 Orange County Jewish Life.

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CHOICE WORDS

From the Editor

SAVING A TREASURE

Israeli government needs to step up. “IT’S THE ECONOMY, stupid!” How many times has that phrase come up in the past few years? Usually, it involves some aspect of the American economy, some religious or philanthropic organization suffering from a recession-induced lack of funds or some unfortunate person without the paper or plastic to carry on as if it were, say, 2007. While some people believe that things have gotten better, the impact of the recession is the “gift that keeps on giving” all over the world. Whether Bernie made off with your funds or not, the ripple effect is still out there. The concept of “there” has a wider swath than one might imagine. By the time this issue of Orange County Jewish Life is in your hands, I expect to be in the middle of my third trip to Israel, having visited one of the great loves of my life, an institution in the throes of a financial crisis. As part of a four-generation family of Hadassah life members and someone who devotes a great deal of “spare time” to its activities in the Diaspora, I am deeply saddened by the throttling the Hadassah Medical 12

Organization (HMO) has been getting in the media. This is a health care system with a history of more than 100 years, a medical organization that operates two university hospitals (at Ein Kerem and Mount Scopus in Jerusalem) and schools of medicine, dentistry, nursing and pharmacology affiliated with the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Its declared mission is to extend a “hand to all, without regard for race, religion or ethnic origin.” When you visit the hospitals, you can see people in black hats next to people in turbans or keffiyahs. They all get treated equally and well, even if their countries are unfriendly to Israel and even when Hadassah has to provide additional security. For those reasons and more, Hadassah was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 2005. You also see top-notch doctors administering the latest technology. That costs money, and sometimes the needs are overwhelming. A combination of factors has created a severe financial issue for the Hadassah Medical Organization. While playing the blame game is easy, one

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

thing is clear: this organization must go on. Hopefully, steps will be taken by the Israeli government to make that happen. Hadassah officials say that no one believes that HMO will have to close its doors and, hopefully, the proposed recovery plan will come to fruition. Meanwhile, workers who have not been paid in full have reduced the hours they work, bringing treatment options to a minimum and sparking angry reactions from the public. We fervently hope that the Israeli government will help HMO to restructure and provide an infusion of cash into the HMO system and the Israeli health care structure overall. Meanwhile, Hadassah is circulating a petition to the government and hoping for the success of labor negotiations between the union and the hospitals. As Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “Hadassah has healed so many people. Now we must help Hadassah heal.”

Ilene Schneider

While playing the blame game is easy, one thing is clear: this organization must go on.

LETTERS

WE’VE GOT MAIL! and we want more... GOT YOU COVERED? But the wearing of a yarmulke in a court of law is clearly prejudicial and borders on blasphemy. Yet, the attorney for one of the killer cops in the just-concluded Kelly Thomas trial had the chutzpah to wear his yarmulke throughout the entire trial. The implication was abundantly clear – the lawyer wanted to give the impression that G-d was on his client’s side! No, Mr. Lawyer. You may have been able to fool a biased, incompetent jury, but you can’t fool G-d. “Thou shalt not kill” still remains as one of the most significant of our Ten Commandments. The professed mission of the police is to “protect and serve,” not to administer “street justice.” If Kelly Thomas committed some alleged crime (he didn’t), then he should have been arrested and his fate left to the courts. But the Fullerton killer cops decided to be judge, jury and executioner.

PHOTO BY ZACH DALIN

Wearing of the Yarmulke, or kippah, in a Jewish temple or synagogue is a means of honoring G-d. As such, I am proud to wear my yarmulke during all prayer services.

Homeless people have rights too! It is now up to the Department of Justice (DOJ) to bring these killer cops to justice in federal court for violating Kelly Thomas’ civil rights, just as was done in the infamous Rodney King beating over 20 years ago. The Honorable Eddie Rose, Former Laguna Niguel (CA) City Councilman While many people were dismayed at the verdict in the Fullerton trial, the wearing of the kippah signifies the wearer’s adherence to Jewish law, not his belief that God is on his client’s side. According to the Jewish law website, www.hashkafah.com, “Virtually all of the judiciary on all levels realize that a requirement to remove one’s yarmulke would violate both the first amendment of the US constitution and the Religous Freedom Restoration Act.”

Bruno Mars

Please see our cover story, which discusses attempts to outlaw the wearing of a kippah in some parts of the world. – Ed.

The much-heralded halftime performance at the one-sided Super Bowl game between the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos featured Bruno Mars, the 28-year-old singer and 2013 Billboard artist of the year. Born Peter Gene Hernandez in Honolulu, Hawaii, Mars was the son of a hula dancer from the Philippines and a percussionist of Hungarian, Ukrainian and Puerto Rican descent. On the Ukrainian side there was a one-time Hebrew teacher. Interestingly, the title of Mars’ newest album is Unorthodox Jukebox.

SEND US YOUR THOUGHTS!

Orange County Jewish Life welcomes your letters. Email your feedback to ileneschneider@aol.com, accompanied by your full name, street address, and daytime phone number. OCJL will publish letters anonymously if requested.

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

Who Knew?

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

Israel Scene | BY ANDREA SIMANTOV

When Johnny Comes Marching Home A grateful mother reflects on son’s military service.

PART OF SELFAWARENESS IS THE ABILITY TO ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG. 16

I THOUGHT IT would feel “heavier” and there would be more reflection. That the meaning of his military service would loom larger. Instead it felt like, uh, Friday. “Mom, can you see if I cut it evenly and clean my neck?” shouted Ariel an hour before candle lighting. “And is there enough hot water for a shower?” Dutifully, I cleaned up the shaved-to-a-stubble head with electric hair clippers and made certain that the back was evenly squared at the bottom. Surprisingly, I felt no pressure due to the oncoming Sabbath.

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Everything was ready; the table set, laundry folded and put away and enough time to issue Ariel the requisite military haircut. For the last time. In only 48 hours he’d be officially released from the Israel Defense Forces (IDF). When he was still a little boy, I’d written about the fear, the shame of imposing my iron-clad Zionist values upon children who rarely/never questioned my decisions. Who felt safe in the knowledge that Mommy and Daddy knew best. No one was handed a Q & A form: “Who wants to move to Israel and serve

VIEWPOINT

Personalized Jewish Matchmaking

Hebrew by Yariv Hebrew from the Source

in the army to preserve our God-given right to the land?” The possibility of giving up one’s life wasn’t even a blip on our radar screen. My toddlers and tadpoles nestled in my lap, impervious to any obscure dangers that might await any of us in the future. But there was another truth, far darker and far more humiliating an admission than anything else I can think of. Because in my heart-of-hearts, I conveniently believed that Israeli mothers were made of other stuff, that they loved their children “differently.” That because I was American-born, I was made of mush inside; less prepared for the potentialities of war. I naively and arrogantly believed that an Israeli mother would be more accepting of bad news if/when her soldier son died; certainly she must be better inured to the frailty of human life. Idiot that I was, I wanted to believe that only an American mother would grieve more deeply at losing a child. Part of self-awareness is the ability to admit when you’re wrong. Assuming thus, I’m the Queen of Cognizance, because I now know that Israeli Mommies are the deepest and most passionate humans on the face of the planet, and, despite my former arrogant stupidity, there is no dearth of awareness as they send their babies to patrol our borders. Those whom, by the luck of the draw, are destined to pay the ultimate price, sit next to me in synagogue, are in my Weight Watchers group, make dinner for their other children and sometimes go bowling or out for pizza with their husbands. I implore our God in Heaven never to test me as I unabashedly crow that, as of today, I’m the mother of an IDF son who has served his three combat years with honor and determination. And with the exception of two or three worrisome days, I never succumbed to the fear. This isn’t to say that I didn’t cry and cringe with fear during the few stretches of time that he was unreachable and – as I’d later find out – in terrible danger. As the rockets fell in Sderot and even in the fields near Jerusalem, he’d call and tell me not to expect to hear from him until “Thursday” or “when I can.” Did I wring my hands, fall to my knees and run to the Western Wall for some supplementary praying? Not really. Of course I prayed, but it is Israel; I prayed for all our sons. I prayed that no mother received unwanted news. And I knew that other women were praying for me as well. Placing one foot in front of the other and periodically checking my lipstick, I survived Ariel’s army service.

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VIEWPOINT

I’M THE MOTHER OF AN IDF SON WHO HAS SERVED HIS THREE COMBAT YEARS WITH HONOR AND DETERMINATION.

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Indeed, the years sped by, and I am embarrassed to confess that I never got around to surprising him on his base with pots of favorite stews and home-baked cookies the way that other mothers did. I meant to have “the boys” over for beers and kebobs and host more lone soldier buddies for Sabbath meals more often than I did. And though he did schlep home a khakiclad straggler or two for a well-earned shower, a good night’s sleep and a chance to do a load of laundry before returning to active duty, my recollections are hazy and skewed. “Hey, Mom, remember the guy from Ohio whose mother was Christian, and he was thinking about converting? He just started learning at the Technion.” No, I didn’t remember him. “Mom, the Russian kid who stayed here for a week wants your recipe for mandelbrodt.” Who? What? Ari was quieter than usual this “last Shabbat.” There was little laundry to do as most of his uniform pieces have already been returned for next year’s inductees. He has confessed that he will miss his gun; a soldier is a soldier twenty-four hours a day and, true to his personality, he was always “on alert.” And I can’t imagine how Civilian Ariel will look. Thankfully, he has three job interviews lined up, is beginning to study for college entrance exams, has put out some feelers for shlichut (Zionist outreach) programs and I think I hear him whispering on the phone to a girl. Many of his buddies are taking off in the coming days to India, Bolivia, Nepal and Kenya. Ari’s plans aren’t so grandiose, but one thing we’ve agreed upon. And at the end of the month we will have an open house evening replete with drinks, desserts, music and laughter. In Hebrew it’s called seudat hoda’ah – a Feast of Gratitude. I know what I said about it not feeling heavy, but, typically, I’ve changed my mind and understand, now that this milestone feels teary and cuddly, prayer-filled and huge. By virtue of Ariel’s service, I believe that our family is even more deeply rooted in the complexity and glory of Jewish history. We’ve also claimed seats – front and center – to the powerful unfolding of Israel’s blessed future.

New York-born Andrea Simantov is a mother of six who moved to Jerusalem in 1995. She frequently lectures on the complexity and magic of life in Jerusalem and can be contacted at elkadee@netvision.net.il.

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

On the Lighter Side | BY MAYRAV SAAR

VIEWPOINT

Ode to Cheese Breakup makes the heart melt.

MY MOTHER WARNED ME THAT YOU WERE BAD FOR ME, BUT THAT JUST MADE ME WANT YOU MORE. 20

DEAR CHEESE, These are the hardest words I’ve ever had to write to a food product, but I have to be honest with you and with myself, and tell you that it’s over between us. Before you wonder what it is you’ve done to make me leave, please know: It isn’t you. It’s me. According to Johns Hopkins University, 75 percent of Jews are lactose intolerant. I’ve been lying to myself for many, many years now, Cheese, but it is time I finally admit that I am one of them. We had an amazing run, Cheese. From those innocent days of Kraft singles and string cheese through those experimental college years of Stilton and Gruyere, you’ve been a constant in my life – the first food I ever truly loved. I remember discovering goat cheese and thinking that I had tasted Heaven. Some snickered when a girl friend declared, “Havarti tastes like love.” But I didn’t snicker. I knew exactly what she meant. You were sweet. You were salty. With blue, veiny abandon, you were sometimes a bit nasty. My mother warned me that you were bad for me, but that just made me want you more. I had you first thing in the morning, spread out on my bagel, and I twirled you around my tongue atop pasta any evening I thought I could get away with it. I loved it when you were soft, and oh, how I loved it when you were hard. But I can’t go on like this. I’m of Ashkenazi descent, Cheese, and there’s this thing called familial hypercholesterolemia that affects my people with a greater frequency than the rest of the world. (You knew, the first time I refused a cheeseburger, that my Jewish-ness would eventually come between us.) I’m at an increased risk of having my heart broken by you… well, not broken so much as stopped. Clogged up with cholesterol. I have to protect myself; after all, I’m a married

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woman and a mother. I can’t just go about, cavorting with any food product I like, as though there were no consequences. You will still be a presence in my life, Cheese. My children adore you, and there’s no reason to keep you away from them. But my days of gobbling up their half-eaten pizza slices are over. I will not allow you to use my children to get back together with me – so don’t even try it. It will be difficult at first to get used to life without you. You were my go-to middle-of-the-night snack through all three of my pregnancies. You were the only thing that made lox and bagels make sense together. You were an appetizer, a main course and a dessert – sometimes all in one meal. There is no replacement for you – I wouldn’t insult you by introducing soy cheese into my life. I’m not cruel. Or stupid. And so, for the rest of my days, I will walk around with a cheese-size hole in my heart. But it is for my heart that I must say goodbye to you. Shredded, melted, grated – no matter how you slice it, you are a thing of beauty, Cheese. I will miss you. Good luck, Mayrav

After a 10-year career as a newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times and Orange County Register, Mayrav Saar left to try her hand at child rearing and freelance writing.

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

Rabbinic Reflections | BY RABBI DAVID ELIEZRIE

VIEWPOINT

Am I Ultra? Labels belie insecurity of others.

IT’S GOING TO TAKE A BIT OF SOULSEARCHING AND LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR. 22

FOR A LONG time I have been trying to figure out if I am one of those ominous “Ultra Orthodox.” I definitely look the part. I’ve got the beard, black hat, the tzizit daggling. On Shabbat my style of dress is without question “ultra.” I’ve got the long black coat, a throw-over from the aristocrat dress of Europe that over time has become Chassidic garb. But I’m not exactly geographically “ultra.” I don’t live in Jerusalem, Boro Park or Stamford Hill. I’m out in the suburbs of Orange County, California, where on Shabbat morning, walkers and bikers smile and wave at me as I walk to the synagogue. My friends in Israel who dress as I do go to the army, albeit many after their yeshiva studies. They have real jobs and pay taxes. Both they and I do not believe that secular nationalism that was the ideological foundation of Zionism should be the bedrock of our identity. Rather, it should be based in the timeless teachings of the Torah that reach back to the dawn of Jewish history at Mt. Sinai. At their core those teachings include the deep spiritual connection of Jews to their historical homeland, Israel. It is strange that the only religious group in the world that is labeled “ultra” consists of Jews who follow the ancient traditions of Judaism. Liberals who support J Street are not “ultra left”: they are “pro peace.” Backers of the New Israel Fund are called “progressive,” even though some of their money goes to groups with an agenda inimical to Israel. Supporters of Yair Lapid’s party in Israel, which is waging a culture war against religious Jews, are not called “ultra anti –religious.” It’s only us guys in the black hats and the beards and the girls with sheitels (wigs) who have this distinguishing label. The strange irony is when you ask a newspaper editor why traditionally observant Jews are labeled “ultra,” you hear the excuse, “We need to differentiate between the regular Orthodox and others.” Who are these “others?” What makes you a member of that group? Do you need a beard, or is a black hat a requirement? Why not just observant, or Orthodox or religious? When you push a bit more and ask what qualifies you for this descriptive

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term, the answers become vague, but it’s clear “it’s those guys who look different.” At the core the term “ultra” is pure bigotry and prejudice. It’s saying, “You guys are beyond the pale, you dress different, you act different, we are mainstream, you guys are extreme.” Simply put, it’s a subjective put-down of Jews who follow the traditions of Judaism as it’s been done for millennia. It’s about Jews, who while they value modernity, do not want their morals and ethics to be determined by the latest Hollywood fad. Rather, they see Judaism as the central pivot of their lives. The time has come for the Jewish community and the world of journalism to dispense with this pejorative and bigoted term. It’s going to take a bit of soul-searching and looking into the mirror. What usually motivates one’s speaking in a derogatory fashion about another? For some, it’s their own insecurity. Deep down, people are saying “they are ultra,” because they are somewhat unsure about their own Judaism. Instead of respecting those who try their best to live up to the Judaism, as it’s been practiced for millennia, it’s a lot easier to say, “we are the mainstream; those guys are just a bit too extreme.” If there is such a need to differentiate, then use the Hebrew term “Haredi,” or label us guys and girls in the black hats and sheitels, “traditional Orthodox.” It’s far more offensive to label Jews who follow Jewish tradition “ultra” than it is to call a football team the “Redskins.” Orange County Jewish Life does not engage in this practice. – Ed.

Rabbi David Eliezrie is rabbi at Congregation Beth Meir HaCohen/ Chabad. His email is rabbi@ocjewish.com.

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Parashah of the Month | BY A. SIMANTOV

VIEWPOINT

The Open Gates of Heaven

Bringing oneself as the offering is the highest ideal.

THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE DISTINGUISHING THE MISHKAN FROM THE GOLDEN CALF IS THAT THE MISHKAN WAS SANCTIONED BY GOD. 24

The word korban (sacrifice) comes from the root word korov (to come close). God’s favor is not obtained by the physical act of placing the parts of the offering upon the altar. Rather, it is that which reawakens the heart and soul and accompanies the sacrifices that envelop the penitent with humility, making him worthy of Divine Presence. The idea of self-sacrifice is reflected in the following verse: “When a man among you brings an offering to God, from animals, from cattle or from the flock shall you bring your offering.” The most genuine offering occurs when the owner brings himself as the offering. This means that the owner of the sacrifice dedicates himself to God, making himself and his desires subservient to the teaching of the Torah. In this manner, the animal used in the offering becomes secondary, serving as a symbol of what the owner feels and what he strives toward. The man bringing the offering is referred to (in Hebrew) as Adam, the name of the first human being. According to Rashi, this teaches us that just as Adam did not bring stolen animals as offerings (since the whole world was his), so too we may not serve God with anything that is acquired dishonestly. Commentators have noted that the above verse begins by speaking of “an offering to God,” yet concludes with the words, “your offering,” omitting mention of God. If you offer yourself to God – that being your essential humanity, in a sincere effort to draw close to Him, then your offering is, indeed, an offering to God. However, if your desire is only to go through the motions of performing the sacrificial rite with the animal of your choice, then, sadly, it is merely your offering. The attitudes by which we can both achieve closeness to God and atone for our sins do not depend on the specific sacrifices, but, rather, on our inner feelings that are both inspired and expressed by prayer. In this way, prayer takes the place of sacrifices in that it enables us to capture the exaltation, which had formerly existed only in the Temple. We pray the morning prayers in order to replace the korban tamid (daily burnt-offering) of the morning; the mincha prays to replace the afternoon

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tamid sacrifice; and finally the ma’ariv prays to replace the offering of the aimurim (everything that was not offered during the day). The building of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) served as atonement for Israel’s worship of the Golden Calf. This sinful act was rooted in the erroneous perception of the core of Torah. Instead of serving God according to the dictates of the Torah, the people sought to worship Him from the perspective of their own intellect and rationale. A Final Thought The sages say that “the handiwork” of a person consists of his sons and daughters. The Jewish education of children is so important that it takes precedence over building the Beit HaMikdash (Holy Temple). This is where true sanctity lies for children who represent the future of Klal Yisrael. Parents must imbue their children with love and sanctity for Torah, so that the Shechinah will rest in their offspring.

MARCH 2014 ADAR I-ADAR II 5774 Candle Lighting Times and Torah Portions Saturday, March 1 Torah Portion: Pekudei (Exodus 38:21-40:38; Exodus 30: 11-1) Friday, March 7 Light candles at 5:34 p.m. Saturday, March 8 Torah Portion: Vayikra (Leviticus 1:1-5:26) Friday, March 14 Light candles at 6:40 p.m. Saturday, March 15 Torah Portion: Tzav (Leviticus 6:1-8:36)

Friday, March 21 Light candles at 6:45 p.m. Saturday, March 22 Torah Portion: Shemini (Leviticus 9:1-11:47) Friday, March 28 Light candles at 6:50 p.m. Saturday, March 29 Torah Portion: Tazria (Leviticus 12:1-13:59)

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

According to Krauthammer | BY CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER

VIEWPOINT

Against Ancient Poison How do we fight academic bigotry?

IT’S OBVIOUS THAT THE ASA BOYCOTT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HUMAN RIGHTS. 26

FOR DECADES, THE American Studies Association (ASA) has labored in well-deserved obscurity. No longer. It’s now made a name for itself by voting to boycott Israeli universities, accusing them of denying academic and human rights to Palestinians. Given that Israel has a profoundly democratic political system, the freest press in the Middle East, a fiercely independent judiciary and astonishing religious and racial diversity within its universities, including affirmative action for Arab students, the charge is rather strange. Made more so when you consider the state of human rights in Israel’s neighborhood. Syria’s government is dropping “barrel bombs” filled with nails, shrapnel and other instruments of terror on its own cities. Where is the ASA boycott of Syria? Iran hangs political, religious and even sexual dissidents and has no academic freedom at all. In Egypt Christians are being openly persecuted. How about Turkey, Saudi Arabia or, for that matter, massively repressive China and Russia? It’s obvious that the ASA boycott has nothing to do with human rights. It’s an exercise in radical chic, giving marginalized academics a frisson of pretend anti-colonialism, seasoned with a dose of edgy anti-Semitism. Don’t tell me this is merely about Zionism. The ruse is transparent. Israel is the world’s only Jewish state. To apply to the state of the Jews a double standard that you apply to none other, to judge one people in a way you judge no other, to single out that one people for condemnation and isolation -- is to engage in a gross act of discrimination. Discrimination against Jews has a name. It’s called antiSemitism. Former Harvard President Larry Summers called the ASA actions “anti-Semitic in their effect if not necessarily in their intent.” I choose to be less polite. The intent is clear: to incite hatred for the largest – and only sovereign – Jewish community on earth. What to do? Facing a similar (British) academic boycott of Israelis seven years ago, Alan Dershowitz and Nobel Prizewinning physicist Steven Weinberg wrote an open letter declaring that, for the purposes of any anti-Israel boycott, they are to be considered Israelis. Meaning: You discriminate against Israelis? Fine. Include us out. We will have nothing to do with you. Thousands of other academics added their signatures to the Dershowitz/Weinberg letter. It was the perfect in-kind

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

response. Boycott the boycotters, with contempt. But academia isn’t the only home for such prejudice. Throughout the cultural world, the Israel boycott movement is growing. It’s become fashionable for musicians, actors, writers and performers of all kinds to ostentatiously cleanse themselves of Israel and Israelis. The example of the tuxedoed set has spread to the more coarse and unkempt anti-Semites, such as the thugs who a few years ago disrupted London performances of the Jerusalem Quartet and the Israeli Philharmonic. In this sea of easy and open bigotry, an unusual man has made an unusual statement. Russian by birth, European by residence, Evgeny Kissin is arguably the world’s greatest piano virtuoso. He is also a Jew of conviction. Deeply distressed by Israel’s treatment in the cultural world around him, Kissin went beyond the Dershowitz/Weinberg stance of asking to be considered an Israeli. On December 7, he became one, defiantly. Upon taking the oath of Israeli citizenship in Jerusalem, he declared, “I am a Jew, Israel is a Jewish state. Israel’s case is my case, Israel’s enemies are my enemies and I do not want to be spared the troubles which Israeli musicians encounter when they represent the Jewish state beyond its borders.” The persistence of anti-Semitism, that most ancient of poisons, is one of history’s great mysteries. Even the shame of the Holocaust proved no antidote. It provided but a temporary respite. Anti-Semitism is back. Alas, a new generation must learn to confront it. How? How to answer the thugs, physical and intellectual, who single out Jews for attack? The best way, the most dignified way, is to do like Dershowitz, Weinberg or Kissin. Express your solidarity. Sign the open letter or write your own. Don the yellow star and wear it proudly.

Charles Krauthammer is a Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist, political commentator and physician. Contact him at letters@ charleskrauthammer.com.

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COVER STORY

Cloaked in Cowardice Anti-Semitism Takes on New Life by Ilene Schneider

IT ALMOST FEELS as if a disease is spreading throughout the world. Fueled by media hype and encouraged by certain academic personnel, it seems that Israel is the villain in the precarious situation in the Middle East. It is de rigueur to delegitimize the only true democracy in the region.

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

COVER STORY

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

COVER STORY

THE MALAISE DOES not stop there. In countries where one might not expect it, Jews are feeling less and less comfortable about being observant and more and more concerned about movements to outlaw religious observances such as circumcision and kashrut. Why is this happening? Have we done too good a job of assimilating? Have we become too successful, won too many Nobel Prizes, and reached disproportionate status for a people of our size? Have we become a part of that politically incorrect 1 percent, or is it just that acknowledging something positive about Jews might offend other populations who are perceived to be persecuted?

Intimidated in Europe A recent study conducted by the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights on behalf of the Israeli government showed a marked rise in anti-Semitism across Europe. The report claimed that European Jews are rapidly assimilating into non-Jewish society because they feel intimidated. Although the number of crimes targeting Jews or Jewish institutions around the world did not increase over the last year, the poll conducted in nine countries said that 23 percent of European Jews avoid attending Jewish-themed events or Jewish institutions for fear of being harassed on the way; 38 percent do not wear kippot or other Jewish accessories when out in public and 66 percent perceive anti-Semitism as a “substantial and constant factor affecting the quality of their lives.” Seventy-seven percent of those surveyed said they have so little faith in local authorities that they did not report any incidents of anti-Semitism that they had experienced over the last year. The report attributed the rising anti-Semitic environment to sentiments posted on social media.

Third Intifada A major anti-Israeli ploy is what New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman describes as the Third Intifada. While the first two Intifadas were Palestinian uprisings in the West Bank, the Third Intifada is “one propelled by nonviolent resistance and economic boycott,” “led by the European Union in Brussels and other opponents of the Israeli occupation of the West Bank across the globe” and “a real source of leverage for the Palestinians in their negotiations with Israel.” As Israeli Finance Minister Yair Lapid explained, Israel’s economy depends on technology and agricultural exports to Europe and on European investments in its high-tech industries. A boycott that curtailed Israeli exports to Europe would cost Israel billions of dollars and thousands of jobs. Some European companies and funds are already talking about divestment from Israel. Friedman also cited college campus boycotts as part of the Third Intifada. He believes that “Israelis are right to suspect some boycotters of using this cause as a cover for anti-Semitism, given how Israel’s misdeeds are singled out,” but he thinks that the continued building of settlements while the peace process is going on is “energizing the boycotters.” 30

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

Rising Tide of anti-Semitism According to Jonathan Tobin, senior online editor of Commentary Magazine, “Israelis are acutely aware that they are particularly vulnerable to economic pressure from their European trading partners. Nor has it failed to come to their attention that the BDS — boycott, divestment and sanction — movement in Europe has been recently gaining ground.” Tobin claimed that a 2012 State Department report on religious persecution showed “a rising tide of anti-Semitism” sweeping through Europe. Tobin added, “Since the publication of that report, evidence of even more violence against Jews, support for measures restricting Jewish religious practices as well as efforts to smear Israel and its supporters have all increased and have become ever more virulent. While Israel’s detractors have falsely attempted to blame Israel for the spread of Jew-hatred, that is familiar to anyone who knows the long and horrific history of European anti-Semitism, which has always found an aspect of alleged Jewish misbehavior to justify its own bigotry and crimes. European anti-Semitism is currently being promoted by a noxious combination of traditional Jew-hatred at both ends of the social spectrum, from Muslim immigrant communities to elitists who similarly delegitimize all Jews who speak up for Israel.”

Recent events turned the whole premise of the boycotts on its head.

Unsettling Study Guide

Apparently, such sentiments are not confined to Europe. Recently, the Israel/Palestine Mission Network of Presbyterian Church (USA) published a 74-page study guide on the ArabIsraeli conflict, which critics contend is a “hateful document” that “promotes the eradication of Israel” by targeting the core tenets of Zionism and Christian Zionism. The study guide, called Zionism Unsettled says that a “pathology inherent in Zionism” drives the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and rejects theologies that uphold Zionism. It calls for an “expanded, inclusive” understanding of the Nazi genocide that would apply its lessons not just with respect to the persecution faced by Jews but also to the plight of the Palestinians, among others, and urges a “renunciation of the morally hazardous claims of a hierarchy of victimhood.” While the guide claims to present diverse viewpoints, both Jewish and Christian groups have denounced it for historical

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COVER STORY

issues or boycotts. The AMCHA Initiative contends that for four years Professor Klein has been misusing state resources to promote an anti-Israel boycott. Seid of StandWithUs said that the Klein matter raised a larger issue. “If safeguards against such misuse are not reinforced, our university resources can deteriorate into battlegrounds of irresponsible misinformation and bigotry,” she said, asking the trustees to review their safeguards against such abuse. Benjamin added, “University professors are using classrooms and conference rooms to promote their own agendas. While chancellors and presidents of universities say that these actions are antithetical to the mission of the university, university dollars are being used on these events. The professors are protected by tenure and by saying that they have academic freedom.”

Who Benefits?

Anti-Semitism makes students uncomfortable on some campuses.

revisionism. There has been increasing tension between mainline Protestant denominations and Evangelical Christians, over Israel. Recently, several mainline Protestant churches have flirted with resolutions to boycott Israel, including Presbyterian Church (USA), the United Methodist Church and the Evangelical Lutheran Church.

Meanwhile, on Campus According to Roberta R. Seid and Roz Rothstein of StandWithUs, anti-Israel groups have “repeatedly tried to hijack institutional meetings and make their hostility to Israel 32

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

somehow relevant to the institution, no matter how far they have to reach to make it seem pertinent.” They believe that this attempt is central to their strategy and that they “want to foment controversy in multiple venues so they can disseminate their defamations of Israel.” At the January 29 California State University (CSU) Trustees bimonthly meeting, Tammi Benjamin of the AMCHA Initiative urged the trustees to investigate whether California State University, Northridge (CSUN) math professor David Klein was misusing his university website to spread his anti-Israel sentiments and to advocate for boycotts against Israel. She contended that it might even be illegal to use the university’s resources to promote partisan

Recent events turned the whole premise of the boycotts on its head. As Abraham H. Foxman, national director of the AntiDefamation League, said, “SodaStream, the Israeli gadget for homemade seltzer and soda, is the boogey man du jour for activists supporting the boycott-divestment-sanctions (BDS) movement. Retailers around the world have been lobbied to remove SodaStream products from their shelves. A public radio station in San Francisco recently succumbed to pressure to remove the soda machine as a pledge gift. Most prominently, starlet Scarlett Johansson is being vilified for her Super Bowl commercials for the product.” Foxman explained that the defamation of SodaStream by the anti-Israel activists is strange because of the company’s “humane and practical commitment to true IsraeliPalestinian reconciliation.” While these activists are angry that one of SodaStream’s 22 manufacturing facilities is located in the Israeli settlement of Maale Adumim, and they accuse the company of “profiting from the occupation,” the company is quick to point out that it employs 500 West Bank Palestinians out of its 1,300 on-site employees at that site. SodaStream’s CEO, Daniel Birnbaum, said that all employees are treated the same. The site has both a synagogue and a mosque. Employees eat together and would undergo

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

COVER STORY

security inspections togethand North Korea,” Rep. Roskam said. The bill is er if necessary, he added. Those aimed at targeting groups Palestinians who work like the American Studies for Israeli companies in the who raise Association, which recently West Bank pointed out on critiques voted to boycott Israeli acaa recent Al-Hura Arab landemic institutions. guage television program of Israel’s The Jewish Council that they need the jobs for Public Affairs (JCPA) those companies provide policies has come out with guideand that they are treated will find lines for “Elevating the fairly. With 23-percent Discussion to Advance unemployment in the area, conversation Peace: Distinguishing they appreciate the ability partners Between Criticism of to work, get paid as agreed and Bias against Israel.” and feed their families. in the Developed by Ethan According to data from American Felson, vice president and the Palestinian Bureau general counsel of the of Statistics, Palestinian Jewish Jewish Council for Public employees in Israeli factoAffairs; Rabbi Yehiel community. ries earn two to three times Poupko, rabbinic scholar more than the average from the Jewish Federation pay earned by the general of Metropolitan Chicago; Palestinian population. At and Rabbi David Sandmel, senior advisor on these factories Israelis and Palestinians work together side-by-side. They earn the same interreligious affairs at the Religious Action wages and enjoy the same social benefits, vaca- Center of Reform Judaism, these criteria and ideas are designed to express a broad consention days and pension programs. sus among American Jewish leadership. When consistent with these criteria, those who raise critiques of Israel’s policies will find conversation partners in the American Jewish community, they say. The objective of the pamphlet JCPA has AMCHA’s Benjamin expressed concern that Jews do not speak in one voice as many other published is to encourage civil debate about groups do. That fact makes it more difficult to complex issues involving the Israeli-Palestinian combat anti-Semitic or anti-Israeli sentiment. conflict without devolving into acrimony or In fact, pro-Israel organizations are divided bigotry. Criticism of Israel is not necessarover a new bill in the U.S. Congress that ily anti-Semitic any more than criticism of would pull federal funding from universities Palestinians is necessarily anti-Muslim or antithat boycott Israel. The bill, called the Protect Arab, they explain. Israel, as a Western democAcademic Freedom Act, was proposed by U.S. racy, is often held to a different standard than Reps. Peter Roskam (R-IL) and Dan Lipinski other countries in the region. However, they (D-IL). It has triggered polarizing reactions draw seven lines in the sand. over whether or not it is constitutional by limiting free speech under the First Amendment. Denying the very legitimacy of the State “This bipartisan legislation seeks to preof Israel and the right of the Jewish serve academic freedom and combat bigpeople as a nation to sovereignty in any otry by shielding Israel from unjust boycotts. portion of its ancient homeland. It is ludicrous for critics to go after our democratic friend and ally Israel when they should be focusing on the evils perpetrated Criticizing the efforts of the State of Israel to defend itself without considering by repressive, authoritarian regimes like Iran

Elevating the Discussion

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

the right to self-defense or the causes that lead to the need for self-defense.

3) Assigning to Israel responsibility for all Palestinian violence and incitement, or justifying all Palestinian violence and incitement.

4) Failing to acknowledge when Israel takes

risks for peace and takes positive steps in the treatment of Palestinians and to end the conflict.

5) Criticizing Israel for its wrongs while not

criticizing others involved in the conflict for their wrongs or identifying Israel as the root of all the problems in the Middle East, because moral integrity is linked to moral consistency.

6) Employing

certain anti-Jewish motifs, such as those that assert Jewish control or conspiracy to control finance, media or government.

7) Using

outdated Christian theological understandings of Judaism and the Jewish people, which most churches have repudiated since the Holocaust, in discourse about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

And Finally Will some people ever stop fearing the unknown? Will some people ever stop resenting people who have more than they do? While neither of these concepts makes sense to an educated, sophisticated, democratic populace, such ideas can be overwhelming elsewhere. Anti-Semitism may never go away, but we can do our best to educate ourselves to combat it by educating those around us. Knowing that real Israelis help real Palestinians – and many other people in the world during times of crisis – is a good start. A

panorama OC JEWISH SCENE | MARCH 2014

Art in the Air

Loving Him Tarbut V’Torah’s beloved music teacher and art department chairman, Kevin Bachelder, was just named an OC Top Teacher by Parenting OC Magazine – a prestigious honor. He “has nurtured the musical talents of countless students while upping the coolness factor of the music program through popular classes like Garage Band,” said John Fowler, middle school principal. He has performed with David Bowie, Wayne Shorter and Steve Miller.

Jewish Young Adults (JYA), the Jewish Community Center (JCC) group for millenials, held “Art & Wine” on January 15 at the JCC Art Studio with Lynne Kaplan as instructor. Everyone’s work came out differently. Jocelyn Lieppman shows off her creation. For details on the group and its activities, e-mail elanasimon@jccoc.org.

Loving Her “I Love Lucy Live on Stage” makes its Orange County premiere at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts March 18 to 23. The production takes audience members back to 1952 as members of the Desilu Playhouse studio audience where they await the filming of two hilarious episodes. One of the tour’s producers, Hyra Goldberg George, serves as vice president of the Alpert Jewish Community Center in Long Beach. For tickets, contact (714) 556-2122.

Monette’s Moment Lisa Monette is the new director of the Early Childhood Learning Center at the Merage Jewish Community Center (JCC). JCC president and CEO Dan Bernstein praised Monette’s “developmental knowledge, love of children and exceptional communication skills.” Monette said, “Working in early childhood education is especially exciting, because it is the gateway to the children’s journey in education.” Most recently, she developed and delivered preschool programming at Congregation Shir Ha-Ma’alot. 36

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

A MAGAZINE FOR JEWISH YOUTH & PARENTS

FEEDING THE HUNGRY SOUL Acts of Kindness Teach Life Lessons GAME TIME A Nutritional Take on Matching Fun

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PUBLISHER ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE C0-EDITORS IN CHIEF TRACEY ARMSTRONG GORSKY, MBA, LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY. D CREATIVE DIRECTOR RACHEL BELLINSKY CONTRIBUTING WRITERS BARBARA BOARNET, ELLIOT FEIN, EVE FEIN, HEIDI KAHN, RABBI NANCY RITA MYERS, SUE PENN M. ED. ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES DIANE BENAROYA (SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE), MARTIN STEIN

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Centennial Farm is located on the Orange County Fairgrounds. They are open Monday through Friday 1:00-4:00 pm and Saturday and Sunday 9:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can take kids there to see pigs, peacocks, cows, honeybees and much more. Stroll through the garden to see how crops are grown.

The Ecology Center is located on a historic farm in San Juan Capistrano. They help educate the public about local environmental issues, including farming and water management. Summer camps and family events are available. This nonprofit education center offers volunteer and internship opportunities as well.

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Make your world more beautiful.

EDITOR’S NOTE

kiddish

e cannot turn on the television, open a magazine or go to a website without being confronted by the latest diet out there. “Eat this, not that…” “Curb your carbs…” “Don’t

eat your veggies; juice them..!” Yet obesity is at epidemic levels in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC); 37.5 percent of the adult population is considered obese, and prevalence in adolescence has tripled in the past 20 years. As a Jewish magazine focusing on children and families, it is important to be aware of these statistics and question the examples we are setting for our families and our community. And the topic of nutrition and diet is not new to Judaism. The Torah tells us what we (as Jews) should eat and not eat. And Maimonides (Rambam), the great Jewish philosopher and physician, taught that we should eat only when genuinely hungry and drink when truly thirsty. The preservation of good health rests on the avoidance of overeating, which he refers to as "the poison of death" and the cause of most illness. Finally, he taught us that eating a little bad food is actually less harmful than eating a lot of good and healthy food. Nutrition does not stop at what we put in our mouths – our souls must be fed as well. In this issue, we focus on health from the inside out, whether that be nourishing your spiritual self, building strong “coping” muscles, eating the right foods or merely just getting outside to soak up some sun! We hope this magazine will provide you with sustenance for your mind and soul and add to your well being as a member of this great community!

— Lisa & Tracey

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Co-Editor Tracey Armstrong Gorsky is a contributing editor for Orange County Jewish Life and former editor and writer for Making Waves, Pet Product News, Veterinary Practice News and Surfing Magazine. She brings ten years of writing and editing experience to Kiddish magazine and holds a Masters in Business Administration. Dr. Lisa Grajewski has been a contributing writer for Orange County Jewish Life since 2004. She is a former professional in the Orange County Jewish community, with over 10 years of experience as a volunteer and professional. Dr. Grajewski recently graduated with a doctoral degree in Clinical Forensic Psychology and is currently working toward licensure with a private practice in Tustin.

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HEALTHY KIDS

kiddish

Kids Unplugged How to get your kids to “re-engage” with the world around them. BY AUDRA MARTIN

The number of hours kids are “unplugged” from electronics and playing outside has decreased dramatically.

TAKE TIME TO BE OUTSIDE WHERE THE ELECTRONIC PULL IS NOT SO STRONG.

kiddish

HEALTHY KIDS

Play allows kids to create, innovate and brainstorm and to work outside of structure.

he other day my boss asked

Unplugged play is critical; it

me if I had recently spoken

allows kids to practice socialization

to one of our members. I

skills – skills they will need to be

confidently replied, “Yes, I

successful at school, at home and at

just texted her.” When did we accept

work. Play requires kids to learn and

that texting and high-tech gadgets

practice coping and negotiation skills

replace actual conversations, and

and how to respond in emotionally

frankly, that it is o.k.?

appropriate ways. Play allows kids

We see it every day, kids juggling

to create, innovate and brainstorm

kids to play and experiment in a safe environment? Don’t allow free play to get lost in our daily chaos. When you take your child to activities, take an extra 15 minutes before or after to run around and play. Incorporate free play on the basketball court, at the pool, in your backyard, at the park or just walking

iPads, iPhones, DSL and computers.

and to work outside of structure. Yes,

While parents moan about this

there is definitely something to be said

obsession with electronics, do we

about all the sports teams our kids are

where the electronic pull is not so

actually recognize what is happening

playing on nowadays. But they also

strong. Incorporating free play into

with our younger generations? The

need unstructured time where they

your children’s days is as important as

number of hours kids are “unplugged”

experiment and self-initiate.

ensuring that they are getting protein

from electronics and playing outside has decreased DRAMATICALLY. According to research by the

When I was a kid, mom sent me off on my bike and told me “to be

your dog. Take time to be outside

and calcium in their diets. It is part of a healthy lifestyle. ✿

home before dark.” With dynamics

American Camp Association, kids have

of families being all different and

lost 12 hours a week of time engaged in

yet the same with crazy schedules,

offline playing.

how do we build in the time for our

Audra Martin is a contributing writer to Kiddish magazine and the Children’s Program and Camp Haverim Director, Merage Jewish Community Center.

HEALTHY KIDS

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Tasty Lessons How food is used to teach our children nutritious habits. BY JULIA LUPTON

n the Middle Ages, Jewish children

children learn to count fruit at snack time,

learned Hebrew by licking letters

read funny books about vegetables and

drawn in honey. At Congregation

share in clean up. Outside, they grow food

B’nai Israel’s (CBI) Child Development

in pots and little garden plots. “Carnival

Center, the tradition of learning by

carrots” come in five colors, adding

tasting continues. Every day, CBI’s

surprise at harvest time. Last year, a

loving and inventive teachers, under

pumpkin grown from a seed pack was left

the leadership of Lisa Heller, use food to

to decompose and return to the earth. The

teach math, explore nature and cultivate

children were delighted to watch baby

healthy eating.

pumpkins sprout in its place.

Inside CBI’s cheerful classrooms,

In a deep shady stretch of the yard, a pair of free-range hens peck among the rustic play structures.

In a deep shady stretch of the yard,

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HEALTHY KIDS

Last year, a pumpkin grown from a seed pack was left to decompose and return to the earth.

a pair of free-range hens peck among the rustic play structures. Teacher Debbie

nutritious meals that reflect the seasons. On a recent tour of the facilities,

Horn, a chicken in her lap and a little boy

teacher and avid home gardener Linda

by her side, explains that the precious eggs

Oxman led me to a bare triangle of

they lay (one a day at the height of their

the garden. A few days earlier, on Tu

season) go into the weekly challah, which

B’shevat, the students had scattered

the children make from scratch and bring home for family Shabbats. Meanwhile, in the synagogue’s spacious kosher kitchen, Fereshta Majid is making home-made pizza. She and her sister-in-law Sofia Azizi enjoy cooking up

parsley seeds in the warm dirt. By Passover there should be enough parsley for each child to take some home for family seders. I smiled at Linda’s joy. Where I saw only empty earth, she was already contemplating a tiny wilderness of green. ✿

American favorites along with dishes from Afghanistan, where the women grew up. Kids savor their hot lunches, and parents know that their kids are eating tasty,

Julia Lupton is a contributing writer to Kiddish magazine, a professor of English at UCI and CBI Board member.

TEACHER DEBBIE HORN, A CHICKEN IN HER LAP AND A LITTLE BOY BY HER SIDE, EXPLAINS THAT THE EGGS GO INTO THE WEEKLY CHALLAH.

KIDS COOKING

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Bicycle Salad A bike you can build yourself and then devour? Yes please! It's easy to eat healthy when your food is this fun. BY HEIDI KAHN

Ingredients:

What to do:

1 tomato 2 green onions 1 green pepper 1 baby pickle 1 small cauliflower floret

Delicious with ranch dip or hummus!

1 Make sure to wash your veggies

5 The pickle can be sliced lengthwise for a seat Heidi Kahn is a contributing writer to Kiddish magazine and the Pre-School Director at University Synagogue. She is an award-winning teacher who has over 30 years of experience in the field of Jewish Early Childhood Education.

2 Slice the green onion lengthwise for bicycle spokes

3 Slice the tomato into circles for the wheels

4 Slice the curve top of a green pepper for the handlebars

6 Cauliflower becomes our bike pedal

7 Create the metal bars of the bike with green onion or carrot slices

You can even make a tricycle with 3 tomatoes if you like. Bike appetit!

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HEALTHY KIDS

Just Do It! Beat those blues with fun exercise. BY LISA GRAJEWSKI

An excellent remedy for the blues, no matter your age, is to get your body moving.

ike got a lot of us up, and

natural pain relieving hormone other-

running, with their slogan,

wise known as endorphins. Additionally,

“Just do it.” But looking at the

when we are taking care of our bodies,

state of our health and well-

we are modeling healthy and positive

ness in America, it seems, that slogan has gone by the wayside. Obesity, depression, diabetes, and other mental and physical health issues are at epidemic levels, and the cost of health care is rising. So, just what do we do? Get out and exercise! Thirty minutes a day improves body and brain function. We eat better, sleep better, and have an overall better sense of

behavior for our children. A lot of people do not believe they have time for exercise. Make it a family occasion! Head out to one of Orange County’s beautiful hiking trails. Rated “easy” to “strenuous”, there are trails for everyone. Hop on the bicycles for a family ride instead of piling into the car (be sure everyone is wearing a helmet and

well being. What makes us feel better?

can ride safely). Finally, take a yoga or

Part of it is hormonal. Those who have

Zumba class together, and step outside of

experienced the “runner’s high” or felt

your workout comfort zone!

the surge of energy while working out to Richard Simmons, are experiencing the

After all, Moses walked and Miriam danced – let us all get out and do it! ✿

A “RUNNER’S HIGH” IS FROM THE NATURAL PAIN-RELIEVING HORMONE KNOWN AS ENDORPHINS.

TRADITION

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Look Below the Surface Finding inspiration in lessons of the past. BY ELLIOT FEIN

It is often important to delve below the surface to find something worthwhile.

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T BE CONTENT DISMISSING WHAT TAKES PLACE AS A REMNANT FROM A PAST PRIMITIVE TIME.

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TRADITION

If you attend synagogue on

Shabbat this year during the months of March, April, and into May, you will find most of the weekly Torah portions coming from Vayikra.

Elliot Fein is married to Eve Melman Fein and is the father of two sons, Aryeh and Perry. He is the Education Director at Temple Beth David in Westminster.

hen I was young, my

Leviticus, and my passage was Metzorah,

to delve below the surface to find some-

image of God was

his smile disappeared. Metzora deals with

thing worthwhile.

Cantor Joseph Frankel.

how the head Israelite Priest examined

Cantor Frankel was the

skin blemishes amongst the people and

this year during the months of March,

principal of the synagogue religious school

quarantined some of them for having

April and into May, you will find most of

I attended and the chazzan of the congre-

certain types of infections (not the most

the weekly Torah portions coming from

gation. He was always on the pulpit singing

relevant topic).

Vayikra. When you hear these words of

and leading us in prayer. Children often

He sighed, “Metzorah may be a prob-

first picture God as an old man in the sky.

lem,” and then immediately picked up

For me, I couldn’t have picked a better old-

from his desk a Jewish calendar. A smile

er man than Cantor Frankel to be Divine.

quickly returned. “Your Bar Mitzvah is

In his early years, Cantor Frankel

also Shabbat Ha-Gadol,” he said. “That is

survived the death camp Auschwitz. In his

the Shabbat immediately before Passover.

later years, Cantor Frankel lived a life of

You will focus on Pesach in your talk.”

mitzvot observance and traditional Jewish

Why did Cantor Frankel immediately

If you attend synagogue on Shabbat

Torah chanted or read out loud, force yourself to look closely below the surface. Read the commentary in the Chumash or from another source. Listen closely to an interpretation the rabbi or other congregation member may share. Do not be content dismissing what takes place as a remnant from a past primitive time.

learning. How he lived his life represented

steer me away from Leviticus? The obvi-

perhaps the strongest statement of faith

ous answer is context. Leviticus is about

You may find yourself humbled from the

one could encounter. I met with Cantor

Priests and the Priestly Code. Neither

experience. Rather than feeling morally

Frankel before my Bar Mitzvah to ask him

entity exists today. The book is inherently

superior towards the past, you may find

for material to help me write my speech.

foreign and it often feels primitive. Cantor

yourself inspired by individuals showing

When I informed Cantor Frankel my Torah

Frankel was correct in finding me a more

true character confronting the challenges

portion was from Vayikra, the Book of

relevant subject. But it is often important

of their day. ✿

TRADITION

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High heels for Bat Mitzvah? What to do when your daughter puts her foot down. BY RABBI NANCY RITA MYERS

“N

o, you can’t wear

connects us with tradition, Torah and

3-inch strappy heels

God. Our grandparents had one, our

for your Bat Mitzvah

parents had one and now it is the next

service!” I exploded.

generation’s turn. We want our children

“But Mom, it is my choice!” pleaded my 12

to maintain this Jewish ritual, because it

year-old-daughter. “No it’s not! You will

connects them to those who have lived

not carry our sacred Torah in those shoes!”

before us. We are linked to a long lineage

I screamed back. Sigh, I did not mean to

of Jews going all the way back thousands

raise my voice. My emotions are running a

of years to Abraham and Sarah. There is

bit high as we count off the weeks before

something so powerful about connecting

my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. There is so

with the generations and knowing that

much pressure leading up to this Jewish

we are part of Jewish history, living in the

rite of passage. As parents, we want our

present and planting seeds for the future.

children to do us proud and read from the

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah service is also

Torah. We worry about how they will do

about responsibility. Our children are

as we struggle with the countless details

now considered to be Jewish adults

of planning a party. We are stressed over

who are responsible for following all the

whether to invite distant friends, difficult

commandments of the Torah such as

relatives and how to feed them all. And

kashrut (Jewish dietary laws), holidays,

then, there is dealing with our budding

Shabbat, charity and learning. In other

adolescent who wants to make choices

words, God holds them liable for the

for herself. What is a good Jewish parent

choices they make. There is even a

to do? Despite all the anxiety we know that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is important. It

prayer a father says in a traditional shul at his son’s Bar Mitzvah. It is translated as: “Blessed are you Adonai, our God,

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TRADITION

sovereign of the universe, who has freed

hand, she is coming of an age where

me from the punishment due this boy.â&#x20AC;? In

she can and should make choices both

other words, the father is thanking God,

Jewishly and personally. On the other

for not holding him responsible for the

hand, there are consequences for her

things his son does or says.

and others. Well, after I calmed down,

I think we would all like to be relieved

we talked. I spoke about how hard it is

of the choices our children make, but they

to stand for hours in heels. Furthermore,

are not so easy to dismiss. We recognize as

walking with the Torah throughout a

parents that our children and teenagers still need to be guided to make good decisions. We want them to grow up to be responsible adults, self sufficient, good and caring men and women, and proud Jews. And so we continue to push them to study, do well in school, care about the unfortunate, attend religious school and ponder the consequences of their actions. Even as they attain Jewish adulthood, we still care about them and love them.

congregation is difficult even when wearing comfortable shoes. After some dialogue, we compromised. She will wear sparkling, outrageous heels at other events and services, but for her Bat Mitzvah, she will wear shoes that can withstand the hours. Phew, one argument resolved. The days and weeks will go by fast until her

WE WANT OUR CHILDREN TO MAINTAIN THIS JEWISH RITUAL, BECAUSE IT CONNECTS THEM TO THOSE WHO HAVE LIVED BEFORE US.

Bat Mitzvah arrives. It is my hope that we will be able, with the wisdom of our Torah, to help guide our daughter to make good decisions for years to come. â&#x153;ż

So, how am I to guide my daughter on whether to wear high heels at her

Bat Mitzvah service? Yes, on the one

Rabbi Nancy Rita Myers serves at Temple Beth David in Westminster, CA and is the mother of two children.

Walking with the

Torah throughout a congregation is difficult even when wearing comfortable shoes.

MARCH 2014 CALENDAR

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Get out there and

DO STUFF Is it just us, or is it getting warm in here? The seasons are changing, and there's plenty of new stuff to do!

CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL – CDC TOT SHABBAT Saturdays: 3/1, 3/8, 3/15, 3/22, 3/29 11:45 AM to 12:15 PM 2111 Bryan Avenue Tustin, CA (714) 730-9693 www.cbi18.org TEMPLE BETH DAVID – FAMILY FUN MEETING Sunday: 3/2 12:00 PM 6100 Hefley Street Westminster, CA (714) 892-6623 tbdavid@ templebethdavid.org COFFEE TALK WITH THE RABBI Sunday: 3/2, 3/9, 3/16, 3/23, 3/30 9:00 AM to 10:15 AM Temple Bat Yahm 1011 Camelback Street Newport Beach, CA (949) 697-7618 www.tby.org

OC JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL – SIMON AND THE OAKS Wednesday: 3/5 7:00 PM OC Jewish Film Festival – Paris-Manahattan Sunday, 3/16 8:30 AM Regal Westpark 8 Cinemas 3735 Alton Parkway Irvine, CA (949) 553-3535 office@ universitysynagogue.org CONGREGATION B'NAI TZEDEK – FAMILIES ENJOYING SHABBAT TOGETHER (FEST) Saturday: 3/6 at 10:15 AM 9669 Talbert Ave. Fountain Valley, CA (714) 963-4611 www.cbtfv.org HEBREW ACADEMY – MOMMY AND ME SERIES Thursdays: 3/6, 3/13, 3/20, 3/27 9:30 AM to 10:00 AM 14401 Willow Lane Huntington Beach, CA (714) 863-0757 www.hebrewacademypreschool.org

SHIR HA-MA'ALOT –FAMILY SHABBAT SERVICE Fridays: 3/7 at 7:00 PM 3652 Michelson Dr. Irvine, CA, (949) 857-2226 www.shmtemple.org TEMPLE BETH EL OF SOUTH ORANGE COUNTY – TOT SHABBAT PLAYSPACE Saturday: 3/8 10:30 AM to 11:00 AM 2A Liberty Aliso Viejo, CA (949) 362-3999, ext. 102 Rabbi Rachel Kort, Director of Jewish Engagement www.templebethelsoc.org JSTAGE TECH CREW – PETER PAN 3/9 & 3/12 & Performances 6/18 & 6/19 First parent meeting at 2:00 PM on 3/9 ISRAEL IN THE SIX-DAY WAR Merage Jewish Community Center 1 Federation Way Irvine, CA, (949) 435-3400 www.jccoc.org

CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL – CDC YOUNG FAMILY SERVICE & DINNER Friday: 3/7 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM 2111 Bryan Avenue Tustin, CA, (714) 730-9693 www.cbi18.org TEMPLE BETH TIKVAH – FAMILY SERVICES Friday: 3/7 at 7:30 PM 1600 N Acacia Ave. Fullerton, CA, (714) 213-8073 www.templebethtikvah.com TEMPLE BETH EMET – PRAY AND PLAY Saturday: 3/8 at 10:00 AM Temple Beth Emet 1770 W. Cerritos Ave. Anaheim, Ca 92804 (714) 772-4720 EIGHTH GRADE WITH RABBI GERSH Sunday: 3/9 11:30 AM to 1:00 PM Temple Bat Yahm 1011 Camelback Street Newport Beach, CA (949) 697-7618, www.tby.org

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MARCH 2014 CALENDAR

TEMPLE BETH SHOLOM – TOT SHABBAT Friday: 3/14 6:00 to 7:30 PM 2625 N. Tustin Ave. Santa Ana, CA (714) 628-4600 www.tbsoc.com TARBUT V’TORAH – COMMUNITY KABBALAT SHABBAT & MEGILLAH READING WITH RABBI PETER LEVI Friday: 3/14 at 8:00 AM Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School 5200 Bonita Canyon Drive Irvine, CA , (949) 509-9500 www.tarbut.com UNIVERSITY SYNAGOGUE – PURIM FAMILY SERVICES & CARNIVAL Saturday: 3/15 at 4:00 PM University Synagogue 3400 Michelson Drive Irvine, CA (949) 553-3535 www.universitysynagogue.org

CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL – CDC JUNIOR CONGREGATION Saturday: 3/15 10:30 to 11:45 AM Young Family Purim Program 5:15 to 7:30 PM 2111 Bryan Avenue Tustin, CA (714) 730-9693 www.cbi18.org TEMPLE BETH SHOLOM PURIM- SPIEL & CARNIVAL Sunday: 3/16 8:30 AM to 2:00 PM 2625 N. Tustin Ave. Santa Ana, CA (714) 628-4600 www.tbsoc.com CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL PURIM FESTIVITIES Saturday: 3/15 at 5:15 PM 2111 Bryan Ave. Tustin, CA (714) 730-9693 www.cbi18.org

CONGREGATION B'NAI TZEDEK – YOUNG FAMILY PURIM SERVICE Saturday: 3/15 at 6:30 PM Purim Carnival Sunday: 3/16 at 9:30 AM 9669 Talbert Ave. Fountain Valley, CA (714) 963-4611 www.cbtfv.org TEMPLE BETH DAVID – PURIM AUCTION Sunday: 3/16 at 11:00 AM 6100 Hefley Street Westminster, CA (714) 892-6623 tbdavid@ templebethdavid.org PURIM AROUND THE WORLD Sunday: 3/16 at 10:00 AM Chabad Jewish Center 2240 University Drive, Newport Beach, CA (949) 721-9800 www.JewishNewport.com

TEMPLE BETH EL – FAMILY PURIM CELEBRATION Sunday: 3/16 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM 2A Liberty Aliso Viejo, CA (949) 362-3999, ext. 102 Rabbi Rachel Kort, Director of Jewish Engagement www.templebethelsoc.org CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL – PURIM CARNIVAL Sunday: 3/16 12:00 PM to 2:00 PM 2111 Bryan Ave. Tustin, CA (714) 730-9693 www.cbi18.org SHIR HA-MA'ALOT – PURIM EXTRAVAGANZA CARNIVAL Sunday: 3/16 at 11:00 AM 3652 Michelson Dr. Irvine, CA (949) 857-2226 www.shmtemple.org SHIR HA-MA'ALOT – GRANDPARENT OR SPECIAL FRIEND TOT SHABBAT Friday: 3/21 at 6:30 PM 3652 Michelson Dr. Irvine, CA (949) 857-2226 www.shmtemple.org TVT AMBASSADORS’ “WALK AND LEARN” Friday: 3/21 8:30 AM Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School 5 Federation Way Irvine, CA (949) 509-9500 www.tarbut.com TARBUT V’TORAH TVT K-5 ArtsTeach “John and Juan” – The History of California Tuesday: 3/25 10:45 AM & 1:45 AM Tarbut V’Torah Community Day School 5200 Bonita Canyon Drive Irvine, CA (949) 509-9500 www.tarbut.com

FAMILY TIME

THE TORAH COMMANDS FARMERS NOT TO HARVEST ALL OF THEIR CROPS, BUT TO LEAVE SOME SO THAT THE POOR CAN TAKE WHAT THEY NEED.

As we try to nourish the souls of our children, share the traditional value-based stories with them.

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FAMILY TIME

Feeding the

HUNGRY SOUL Important life lessons can be taught with acts of kindness. BY SUSAN PENN, M.ED.

s parents we want our

groceries on their doorstep for Shabbat.

children to feel loved and

No one knows where the groceries came

secure. They should know

from. When our ornery hero passes on,

that there is Shalom HaBayit

the grocery deliveries stop. This leads to

(Peace in the Home) and that the home

the conclusion that he was responsible

is a safe and secure environment where

for the Tzedakah, which nourished the

everyone is accepted and loved for who

souls and bodies of the poor on Shabbat.

they are. This is how we nourish the

Amongst other things, this story models

soul. Once children feel comfortable

Tikkun Olam and the huge effect it can

in the home environment, they are

have on a community.

open to trying new things, to listening to those who love them and to growing as people. We model some of the traditionally accepted Jewish values:

Chesed (kindness), Kehila (community) and Tikkun Olam (repairing the world) in the hope that our children will integrate them into their character, leading them to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life. The Torah commands farmers not to harvest all of their crops, but to leave some on the side of the fields, so that the poor can take what they need. It requires the community to provide an impoverished bride with a dowry. The story is told of a town where an extremely wealthy man is known to be ornery. The community avoids him as his nastiness has turned them away over the years. Every Friday morning, the indigent families in town wake up to a bag of

As we try to nourish the souls of our children, share the traditional value based stories with them. Take them with you to feed the homeless, to visit a sick friend or relative or to drop off their discarded clothes at a shelter. Tell them stories about family members standing up to injustice; encourage them to see the wrong in terrorism, genocide and human trafficking. Let them see us acknowledge our own faults and failures and understand that they love and nurture us for who we are as parents, and in turn we do the same for them. Nourishing the souls of those around us makes the world a better place for all. â&#x153;ż Susan Penn, M.Ed. is a mother of three, education director at University Synagogue, president of Jewish Reconstructionist Educators of North America and a member of Jewish Educators Assembly.

FAMILY TIME

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Our kids can’t make lemonade if they do not know how to squeeze a lemon.

Teach Them to Squeeze a Lemon How life’s struggles can strengthen your child. BY EVE FEIN

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FAMILY TIME

f adversity is inevitable, why is it

finish their work? What will THEY learn if

so hard for us as parents to allow

we scream at the coach to give our child

our children to experience even

more play time on the court?

the smallest amount of pain and

There are many things that prey on

discomfort? Not only do we want them

our fears as parents, such as the difficulty

to avoid stumbling; we actually take the

in getting into college, the sluggish

stumbling blocks away.

economy where new jobs are scarce and

Dealing with difficulties such as

the rise in all types of school violence.

academics, friendship and sports are

All of these seem to inspire hovering

all part of life. When we run to protect

behaviors, and helicopter-type parenting.

our children, we are not allowing them

And has not only continuedâ&#x20AC;Ś it seems

to develop the important set of grit and

to be getting worse. Just at this time in

perseverance muscles that they will need

our society when we and our children

to use throughout their life.

need to face these current realities that

What will THEY learn if we protect

actually require more grit, competiveness,

them from conflicts with classmates

independence and creative problem

instead of teaching them how to resolve

solving, we seem to be coddling our

conflicts? What will THEY learn if we tell

children even more.

the teacher that our children should not lose free time in school if they did not

NOT ONLY DO WE WANT THEM TO AVOID STUMBLING; WE ACTUALLY TAKE THE STUMBLING BLOCKS AWAY.

As a parent of two grown children, I have often experienced and still do the

When we run to protect our children, we are not allowing them to develop the grit and perseverance muscles that they need.

FAMILY TIME

kiddish

Dealing with difficulties such as academics, friendship and sports are all part of life.

conflicting desires to do both: push them

Here are some great books to help address relevant parenting issues.

out of the nest with a thump and create a safety net for them to fall into. As an educator, I see parents struggling with this dilemma on a daily basis. I wish us all the courage to allow our children to struggle with adversity as early as possible. In other words, our kids can’t make lemonade if they do not know how to squeeze a lemon. ✿

Eve Fein is the mother of two sons Aryeh and Perry. She and her husband live in Trabuco Canyon. Eve is the Co-founder and Co-executive Director of Community Roots Academy, a project-based learning elementary charter school.

The Blessing of the Skinned Knee Wendy Mogel, Ph.D. How Children Succeed – The Hidden Power of Grit Curiosity and Character Paul Tough David and Goliath – Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants Malcolm Gladwell

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FAMILY TIME

kiddish

Empowerment vs. Threats & Ultimatums How do you “choose” to communicate with your child? BY LAURA WEISSMAN M.S.

A very important note to keep in mind is “the smaller the child, the smaller the consequence.”

THOUGH THREATS AND ULTIMATUMS MAY GET THE JOB DONE, IT DOESN’T LEAVE PARENT OR CHILD FEELING TOO GREAT.

FAMILY TIME

kiddish

The very next time she reaches for a French fry, you gently respond by saying, “I see you have chosen to sit by yourself for a few minutes.”

“I

f you don’t listen to me right

brother’s plate. Notice how the word

now, you’re gonna get it!” “If

“choice” is used four times.

Because after all, once your children have left the protective nest of your

you two don’t quit fighting

“Rebecca, you can choose to eat only

right now, you can forget about

your food and that way you’ll choose

done your best to teach them that the

TV when we get home!” Sound familiar?

to sit at the table and have dinner

moment they choose to drink, smoke,

Though threats and ultimatums may get

with the family," or,

sniff or ingest something they should

the job done, it does not leave parent or

"You can choose to continue trying to

not, they are at the risk of very negative

child feeling too great. More importantly,

eat your brother’s food and that way

consequences?

it teaches our kids to respond only out of

you’ll choose to sit away from the

fear in answer to parents’ directives. In

table for five minutes.”

mind is “the smaller the child, the smaller

The very next time she reaches for a

the consequence.” But no matter the age

the long term, it simply does not nurture and support our children.

home, don’t you want to be sure you have

A very important note to keep in

French fry, you gently respond by saying,

of the child, the beauty of letting your

“I see you’ve chosen to sit by yourself for

kids choose the desired [or undesired]

kids, as well as de-escalate conflict, by giv-

a few minutes.” Oftentimes, children will

consequence, the responsibility of the

ing choices. “You can choose to wear this

instantaneously “choose” to modify their

outcome belongs to them. In that way,

outfit or that one.” That’s a great start! Be-

behavior, with some version of:

you can be remain calm, empathetic and

Many parents try to empower their

ing prepared with the right thing to say in

“I won’t eat his French fries anymore,

compassionate even if they are upset

a stressful situation increases the chances

Mommy.”

with the consequences of their choice. ✿

that what our children will hear next will

“I’m sorry, sweetie. The moment you

be constructive and positive. Let’s look at

chose to take one more French fry is

an example of a four-year-old who keeps

the moment you chose to sit by your-

taking French fries from her six-year-old

self for a few minutes.”

Laura Weissman is a bilingual (Spanish/English) registered Marriage & Family Therapist intern in private practice in Laguna Hills, under the supervision Sheila Diskin, MFT.

GAMES TAPUACH (M) ‫חפות‬

TAPUZ (M) ‫תפוז‬

AFARSEK (M) ‫אפרסק‬

AGAS (M) ‫אגס‬

ANANAS (M) ‫אננס‬

BANANA (M) ‫בננה‬

DUVDEVAN (M) ‫דובדבן‬

MANGO (M) ‫מנגו‬

Matching Game Can you match these delicious fruits to their correct Hebrew name?

kiddish

9. POMEGRANTE rimon (m) ‫רימון‬

14. PINEAPPLE ananas (m) ‫אננס‬

8. PLUM shezif (m) ‫שזיף‬

11. PEAR agas (m) ‫אגס‬

6. MANGO mango (m) ‫מנגו‬

7. PEACH afarsek (m) ‫אפרסק‬

4. CHERRY duvdevan (m) ‫דובדבן‬

15. ORANGE tapuz (m) ‫תפוז‬

10. BANANA banana (m) ‫בננה‬

1. APPLE tapuach (m) ‫חפות‬

2. GRAPES anavim (m) ‫ענבים‬ 3. STRAWBERRY tut (m) ‫תות‬ 12. FIG teena (f) ‫תאנה‬ 5. APRICOT mishmish (m) ‫מישמיש‬ 13. ALMOND shaked (m) ‫שקד‬

SHAKED (M) ‫שקד‬

15 ACT! QUICK F ow that n k u o y Did are part almonds amily? it f of the fru

MISHMISH (M) ‫מישמיש‬ TEENA (F) ‫תאנה‬

TUT (M) ‫תות‬

ANAVIM (M) ‫ענבים‬

RIMON (M) ‫רימון‬ SHEZIF (M) ‫שזיף‬

9 kiddish

GAMES

panorama

Loving Him Too

Author, Author

Rabbi Stephen Einstein, founding rabbi of Congregation B’nai Tzedek in Fountain Valley, will be one of 10 people to receive the Orange County Human Relations Commission’s Legacy Award on May 8: “For the years of interfaith education he has provided, the advocacy for hate crime victims, the voice of justice for ALL, for all he has done with his life to make a better world for our children.”

Maggie Anton and Stuart Tower will headline a Book and Author Brunch sponsored by the Reform Temple of Laguna Woods on Thursday, April 3, at 11 a.m. in Clubhouse 5. Anton wrote the Rashi’s Daughters series and Rav Hisda’s Daughter. Tower authored The Wayfarers and Branko. The cost is $22 per person. Call Lee Kobin at (949) 540-3885 for details.

Could Be Magic “Harmony,” the new Barry Manilow/Bruce Sussman musical, is playing at the Ahmanson Theatre, March 4 to April 13. The production is about six talented young men who came together in 1920s Germany and took the world by storm with their signature blend of sophisticated close harmonies and uproarious stage antics until the world they knew forever changed. Tickets are $40 to $105. Info is at (213) 972-4400 or www.centertheatregroup.org.

And All That Jazz Scholar and world-renowned musician Yale Strom will perform at “Jews & Jazz: A Musical Event” at the Merage JCC on Sunday, April 6, at 4 pm. Along with his band Hot Pstromi, trumpeter Gilbert Castellanos and vocalist Elizabeth Schwartz, Strom will present a jazz concert including the music of Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw and Ziggy Elman. Costs are: JCC members, $10; public, $12; at door, $14; and priority seating/reception, $50. For details, call (949) 435-3400, extension 303. OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

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F E AT U R E S

Sandwich Generation Saga Handling aging parents while raising kids can be challenging. BY BARBARA BOARNET

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

F E AT U R E S

They don’t want to be a burden to us any more than we want them to be, and we certainly don’t want them feeling like they are.

ONE OF THE most important commandments we uphold as Jewish people is to honor our fathers and mothers. We Jews are pretty good at that one. It is something that is ingrained in us from when we are very young and stays with us throughout our lives, shaping our thoughts and beliefs and is at the core of our moral essence. How we honor our mothers and fathers is interwoven in many aspects of our lives, but what I wanted to write about in this column is how to handle caring for our aging parents while we are also trying to care for our children and teenagers as well. Many of us are part of a very real and often difficult to deal with “sandwich generation.” Frequently, it is hard to reconcile the needs of our own families with those of our parents, and there is only so much of us to go around, especially when dealing with limited time, limited financial resources and a lot of stress. My mom is almost 90 years old and lives here in Irvine in a wonderful senior living community, but that does not mean that I am not faced with the sometimes daunting responsibility of taking care of her needs. From picking up her medications and driving her to many medical appointments to spending time with her, the time and attention necessary often are time consuming and are sometimes difficult to reconcile with the needs of my own busy family. As

our parents age and lose their independence, they become more dependent on us, not just physically, but emotionally. When you add helping out financially to this mix, it is often overwhelming. It can be extremely stressful to deal with so many competing needs and to handle everything that needs to be handled and sometimes can lead to feelings of guilt and resentment as well. I’m not an expert on how best to deal with these issues as they are very pertinent to me right now, but I am learning and here are some things I can share:

We are not alone. Maybe everyone is not talking about it, but there are many of us who are faced with the same things. It really does help to talk about it with others in the same life situation, to share ideas and information.

There are many people with experience and a background in this who are there to help; we just need to ask. Some good sources would be our clergy, Jewish Federation & Family Services, private therapists and psychologists and several agencies that I have yet to explore, such as the Orange County Caregiver Resource Center.

Having conversations with our parents is important. No one wants to talk about the hard stuff like dying, end-of-life care and other such topics, but it is crucial that their wishes be made known and that they know we are listening to them and will honor their preferences. Really talking to our parents can also help identify the issues and help us work through them. They don’t want to be a burden to us any more than we want them to be, and we certainly don’t want them feeling like

they are. Sometimes it may help just to talk to your parents about how difficult it is to juggle their needs with the needs of your family and try to work out a good solution. Our elders have a lot of wisdom and experience, and their advice may be helpful.

Remember that everything we are doing for and with our parents is being observed by our children, and we are setting the example for how they will behave in the future as they become adults. I try to remember this as I lose patience with my mom when answering her tenth phone call of the day. I try not to let the exasperation show in my voice, knowing that my kids will learn from this and how I treat my mom is how they will likely end up treating ME in the future!.

We should not be afraid to ask for help when we need it. Contrary to how it sometimes feels, it is not a sign of weakness. No one is expected to be able to do it all.

Most importantly, we must take care of ourselves. We are not helpful to anyone, whether it be our parents, our kids or our spouses when we are not in top shape, so we must remember to eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and relax. A Barbara Boarnet is a freelance writer, attorney, former PTA president, Hadassah member, wife and mother of three teenagers.

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

F E AT U R E S

In a Heartbeat Tragedy intensifies Tikkun Olam.

PHOTO COURTESY OF HILLEL

BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

F E AT U R E S

THE SHOCK. The horror. The unspeakable grief. Nobody should have to go through it. Losing a child is every parent’s very worst nightmare. When Lauren Winkler of Irvine perished in a private plane crash at Santa Monica Airport on September 29, it was even harder for her parents, Gary and Carol. They had to watch it over and over on the news every night, wait for positive identification through dental records and suffer additional anguish over not being able to lay their daughter’s body to rest for an entire week. Somehow, the Winklers have emerged from their sorrow determined to carry on in Lauren’s memory what she was so inspired to do in her life. Lauren, a graduate of Foothill High School and UCLA, a certified yoga instructor who worked in the entertainment industry and someone who traveled to 27 countries in her short life, lived in Israel for more than three years. There, she was introduced to a very special charity, Save A Child’s Heart (SACH). SACH is an Israeli-based international humanitarian project, whose mission is to improve the quality of pediatric cardiac

Somehow, the Winklers have emerged from their sorrow determined to carry on in Lauren’s memory.

Save A Child’s Heart treats children from all over the world.

care for children from developing countries who suffer from heart disease and to create centers of competence in these countries. SACH is totally dedicated to the idea that every child deserves the best medical treatment available, regardless of the child’s nationality, religion, color, gender or financial situation. Syrian children often have to be flown to

Israel by way of Turkey, because Syria does not allow direct flights to Israel. Palestinian children are transported by ambulance to the Israeli hospital in spite of missile strikes in the area near Gaza. Palestinian doctors are being trained along with doctors from other parts of the world. SACH is motivated by the age-old Jewish tradition of Tikkun Olam – repairing the world. By mending the hearts of children, regardless of their origin, SACH is contributing to a better and more peaceful future for all of our children, according to its website. The organization serves children from 45 countries, with every possible heart ailContinued on page 44

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F E AT U R E S Continued from page 43

SACH is totally dedicated to the idea that every child deserves the best medical treatment available, regardless of the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nationality, religion, color, gender or financial situation.

Gary Winkler wants to make people aware of SACH, an organization that his late daughter, Lauren, supported so strongly.

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F E AT U R E S

ment, some congenital and some as a result of war. Some of them come from nations whose governments remain in a state of war with Israel and who reject the notion of a Jewish state. About half of the children are from the Palestinian Authority, Jordan, Iraq, Syria and Morocco; more than 30 percent are from Africa; and the others are from Asia, Eastern Europe and the Americas. The SACH mission is achieved in several ways. The organization provides lifesaving cardiac surgery and other life saving procedures for children from developing countries at the Wolfson Medical Center in Holon, Israel. It offers a full outreach training program for the medical personnel from these countries in Israel, conducts leading surgical and teaching missions to partner countries in the developing world and holds pre-operative and follow-up cardiology clinics in Israel and abroad. SACH often sends its medical team to the respective country to train that country’s doctors and staff on heart treatments. In 2011 Lauren Winkler and about 15 others, climbed Mt Kilimanjaro to raise money for SACH. She succeeded in the climb and reached her goal in raising $10K. She saved a child’s life. She subsequently worked for the charity for more than a year.

For $10K, SACH flies in the child and parent from all four corners of the world. The organization provides approximately 90 days of pre- and post-operative care and, of course, an operation on the child’s heart. The annual number of children treated by SACH has increased exponentially from 48 cases in 1996 to 298 in 2012. SACH is a small charity that is hardly known. Its budget is about $3 million, and it has only a handful of paid staffers. While everyone else is a volunteer, the organization produces extraordinary results. In the U.S., $10K would not even pay for a day in the hospital, but SACH gets the job done. “We are trying to add meaning and purpose to our horrible family tragedy,” Gary Winkler said. “We are asking all who we know to investigate this charity further. Check out the website, www.saveachildsheart.org.” He concluded, “Let’s spread the word everywhere, like a chain letter, and help these desperate children. By doing this, we can change the world one person, one family at a time. It is a win/win/win situation: helping the child and family, elevating each of us and raising the value of Lauren’s life. My prayer is that no one should have to live through what we have lived through.” A

About Save A Child’s Heart (SACH) This creation of Dr. Amram Cohen, evolved from Cohen’s experiences as a doctor serving with the U.S. Armed Forces in Korea in 1988, where he joined a program that helped poor local children with heart disease. The experience introduced him to a network of doctors doing similar work in developing countries, inspiring him to start his own program in 1992. Today SACH is based at Wolfson Medical Center in Holon, Israel, near Tel Aviv.

www.saveachildsheart.org

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F E AT U R E S

High-Level, High-Touch The Network connects “hidden Yidden”and more. BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

YOU ARE A high-tech inventor looking for funding. You are a real estate broker looking for buyers. You are a new lawyer in town looking to connect with other professionals. You are a seasoned professional looking to mentor and give back as well as connect. The Network of Jewish Federation & Family Services (JFFS) takes networking to the next level by creating a group where business and professional people of all types – both male and female – can meet and mingle. While JFFS has had groups for various business and professional endeavors, The Network will bring them all together. Launching on March 26, at 6:30 p.m., at the Pacific Club in Newport Beach, The Network aims to connect Orange County’s most influential Jewish professionals and business leaders, creating extraordinary opportunities to expand the reach of both business and philanthropic ventures. It provides a gateway to get involved in an area of interest, bring along family members and friends and collaborate on projects that benefit individuals, companies and the entire community, according to Doris Jacobson, JFFS director of community philanthropy. “The Network of JFFS will offer exclusive opportunities to engage with business and industry leadership, as well as peers from the real estate world, financial services, hightech, law, medical services and beyond,” Jacobson said. “Professionals of all industries and career levels are invited to attend the top-tier programs of The Network.” She added, “Whether you’re in the field 46

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

F E AT U R E S

PHOTO BY CHARLES WEINBERG

The Network fits in

Howard Mirowitz and Bernie Labowitz, who are shown here at the Montefiore Society, are trying to take networking to the next level.

for 30 years or just starting out, this is the group for you. You can come together with like-minded people who care about their careers and care about the community at the same time. Co-chairing The Network are Bernie Labowitz, who has been the chair of the JFFS real estate division, and Howard Mirowitz, who has chaired the Montefiore Society, an organization of financial professionals. Both men have had successful careers while engaging heavily in philanthropic endeavors. Both have also been involved in the Solomon Society, which is for men only. “I’m a firm believer in networking,” said Labowitz, who described the shopping center business in which he is involved as “a business of relationships.” As chair of the JFFS Real Estate Council, he was responsible for quarterly meetings with featured speakers, in which people would “talk, generate business and create philanthropy for JFFS.” He added, “The primary purpose was networking, but we all knew we were doing it for the community.”

Labowitz realized that there was overlap between the members of the Real Estate Council and the members of the Montefiore Society. Additionally, he said, “People in Orange County are so far apart geographically that we want to give them every reason to come together and join forces.” Mirowitz said that the Montefiore Society used to get more than 100 people at meetings, but he wanted to incorporate people in other sectors – medical device, pharmaceutical, high technology, legal and others – into the networking mix. “Each individual networking group gave people a chance to connect with people in the same area or field of endeavors, but now people can network with customers, clients and financiers.” He concluded, “The Network is a comprehensive group for creating business connections for people involved in philanthropy. We create more value with the added networking capabilities. We encourage all business and professional people to come and give us a try.” A

with the mission of Jewish Federation & Family Services (JFFS), Orange County: to bring together the people, the partners and the resources to care for people in need, to build a vibrant community and to sustain and enhance Jewish life. It is designed to have a broad appeal to peers, customers and mentors in business and professional endeavors of all kinds while encouraging people at all levels of their careers to become involved in the Jewish community and balance their careers with their philanthropic efforts. JFFS hopes for an eclectic mix of professionals who affiliate with one another while creating a greater sense of community. The Network launch event is on Wednesday, March 26, at 6:30 p.m., at the Pacific Club in Newport Beach. Couvert is $50 with advance reservations, $65 at the door and includes heavy appetizers, pasta bar, wine, dessert and great networking. For more information, contact Doris Jacobson at (949) 435-3484 or TheNetwork@jffs.org.

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

concert highlights BEN TAYLOR The son of folk rock musicians James Taylor and Carly Simon will be playing songs off his latest album, “Listening” at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano on March 9. Simon’s father was Jewish pianist, Richard L. Simon (cofounder of Simon & Schuster). “Listening” is Taylor’s seventh album and was released in 2012. The record is a fusion of folk, pop, soul, urban, reggae and country. According to Taylor, these songs are little windows into the last four years of his life before the record was released.

YULIANNA AVDEEVA

ANNE WALSH

JOSHUA ROACH

GRAMMY nominated artist Anne Walsh will be performing at Spaghettini Jazz Club on March 12. Her latest CD features the talents of Brian Bromberg, Oscar Castro-Neves, Tom Zink, Gary Meek and many others. Her live shows are always exciting, featuring not only Bossa Nova and Contemporary Jazz music by the likes of Ivan Lins, Djavan and Jobim, but also original lyrics written to the music of Pat Metheny, Steps Ahead and Keith Jarrett.

As music director for the Pacific Symphony Youth Wind Ensemble (PSYWE), Joshua Roach will conduct the young musicians of the PSYWE through the challenging music of Shostakovich, Grainger, Barber, Barnes and Mussorgsky on March 9 at 3 p.m. As a freelance musician, conductor and educator, Roach has worked with Los Angeles Jewish Symphony, Turner Classic Films, DreamWorks Pictures, PBS, the United States Air Force Heartland of America Band Brass in Blue and various recording studio orchestras in Los Angeles.

Jewish Russian pianist, Yulianna Avdeeva, will perform Chopin’s Piano Concerto No. 1 with the Pacific Symphony March 27 to 29. Dominated by a brilliant piano part that the composer wrote to showcase his extraordinary virtuosity, which also displays the musician’s talents at performing the music, Following the piece by Chopin will be “Ein Heldenleben,” Strauss’ monumental tone poem depicting confidence, unrest, the battle of life, love and serenity.

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Saturday, March 1 Elvin Bishop

Sunday, March 2 Children of Bodom

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Tuesday, March 4 Papa

Wednesday, March 5 Terry Wollman

Saturday, March 8 Bow Wow Wow

MARCH 6, 2014 ATARIS

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Friday, March 14 Tommy Castro Saturday, March 15 The Fenians Thursday, March 20 Gibson Brothers Saturday, March 29 The English Beat

Tuesday, March 4 Walk Off The Earth

Saturday, March 8 HIM (His Internal Majesty)

Friday, March 14 The Interrupters Tuesday, March 18 Battlecross

GROVE OF ANAHEIM 2200 East Katella Avenue Anaheim, CA (714) 712-2700 Wednesday, March 5 Merle Haggard Friday, March 7 Lewis Black Saturday, March 8 OC Music Awards Wednesday, March 12 Buckcherry Thursday, March 13 Emblem3 Friday, March 14 Young Dubliners Saturday, March 22 Iration

Sunday, March 16 Four80East

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MARCH 5, 2014 MERLE HAGGARD

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Tuesday, March 25 Carcass Wednesday, March 26 The Sounds Friday, March 28 Miniature Tigers

MARCH 26, 2014 GABRIEL JOHNSON

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Friday, March 28 Tom Braxton Saturday, March 29 Ner De Leon Sunday, March 30 Cherish Lee

Saturday, March 8 Dinosaurs! Thursday - Saturday, March 13 - 15 Michael McDonald Sunday, March 30 A Hero’s Life

PHOTO BY MICHAEL BENNETT KRESS

A&E

Hamantaschen MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

Purim sweets

A&E

PHOTO BY MICHAEL BENNETT KRESS

We celebrate Purim with the mitzvah of “mishloach manot,” giving sweets to family and friends.

Revelry with Deep Meaning Purim is an irreverent and joyous celebration of Jewish survival. BY JUDY BART KANCIGOR

“EAT, DRINK AND be merry.” Hardly a directive one would expect from the pulpit. But this is Purim, and revelry and festivity are the order of the day. Comic elements abound in the Megillah (the scroll containing the Book of Esther): a king’s wife spurned, a beauty contest to choose a new wife, an evil prime minister, the near annihilation of our people, a palace plot thwarted and our enemies defeated through the machinations of said new wife. Surely God had a hand in the outcome; yet there is no mention of God in the Megillah, a source of debate

for centuries. Some answer that the story of Purim is even more miraculous in its subtlety than all those other extravaganzas that get all the glory. There’s no parting of seas here, no manna in the desert, no giant felled with a slingshot and no cruse of oil burning for eight days. Purim is a holiday of masks, and the miracle of our redemption unfolds through a series of natural events and “coincidences,” but were they really? “Just like the filling in the hamantaschen, the role of G-d in the Purim story is hidden,” writes Paula Shoyer, a gradu-

ate of the Ritz Escoffier pastry program in Paris, and author of The Holiday Kosher Baker (Sterling, $35). “And just as with the hamantaschen, the true significance of the holiday unfolds. We should always look for the hidden and deeper meaning of our experiences in life as a way to acknowledge the unseen forces in the word.” In her new cookbook Shoyer presents traditional desserts with a distinctively modern twist with clear, detailed directions and lavish color photos. Along with new versions of sponge cakes, blintzes, babkas, challahs and rugelach, you’ll find a chic Raspberry and Rose Macaron Cake, a Salted Caramel Banana Tart Tatin, and an unusual take on upside-down apple cake as well as recipes for low-sugar, gluten free, vegan and nut-free treats. “Interestingly, the Megillah is the first place in the Bible where the word ‘Jew’ appears,” notes Shoyer. And leave it to the Jews to commemorate this near tragedy with humor. “Purim is the most whimsical holiday of the Jewish calendar,” she says. “We put on Purim spiels, comedic plays that enact the Purim story, and dress in costumes.” And, of course, we eat hamantaschen, those three-cornered cookies filled with jam, poppy seeds, prunes or even chocolate, that are supposed to resemble Haman’s hat. Whether Haman ever wore a hat, three-cornered or not, is in question by some, as is the whole story altogether. “The filling is mostly hidden,” Shoyer writes, “and only when we break open the cookie do we experience the flavor inside.” The book includes recipes for eight varieties, including (see photo, from top) Raspberry, Vanilla Bean, Chocolate Chip, Low-Sugar, Green Tea and GlutenFree. (Pistachio and Red Velvet are not shown.)

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

A&E

If Purim is here, can Passover be far behind? We celebrate Purim with the mitzvah of “mishloach manot” (literally “sending portions” in Hebrew), giving sweets to family and friends. “The giving of gifts celebrates our survival, an acknowledgement that we are still here,” says Shoyer. Her recipes in this chapter reflect the fun and whimsy of the holiday: Decorated Brownie Bites (shown in cellophane in photo, upper left), Licorice or Root Beer Chocolate Truffles, Peppermint Candies, Mazel Cookies (her take on Fortune Cookies), Homemade Marshmallows: Coconut or Raspberry Swirl and Tie-Dyed Mini Black and White Cookies. If Purim is here, can Passover be far behind? Heads up: The Holiday Kosher Baker contains 45 Passover recipes alone, including Lemon Tart with Basil Nut Crust, Chocolate Chocolate Éclairs and Lime Macarons. And for more Passover ideas please join me for my “Beyond Matzoh Ball Soup” Passover discourse and lunch at the Merage Jewish Community Center in Irvine on Thursday, March 27. Call (949) 435-3400 for more information.

Chocolate Chip Hamantaschen Yield: 3 dozen DOUGH 3 large eggs 1 cup sugar ½ cup canola or vegetable oil 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 3 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting Dash salt 3 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped into small pieces no larger than 1/4-inch (very important) FILLING 6½ ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, cut into ½-inch squares OR 1½ cups chocolate chips

1 In large bowl, mix together eggs, sugar, oil and vanilla. Add flour and salt and mix until dough comes together. Add chopped chocolate and mix in gently. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate one hour to firm up.

Preheat oven to 350˚F. With one teaspoon oil, grease 9X13-inch baking pan. Line with parchment paper, allowing some to extend up and over sides. Grease top and sides with remaining teaspoon oil.

2 Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line two or three

es and melt it, either over double boiler or in microwave for 45 seconds, stir, heat 30 seconds, stir and heat another 15 seconds, if needed, until completely melted.

large cookie sheets with parchment. Divide dough in half.

3 Sprinkle flour on another piece of parchment, place one dough half on top; then sprinkle a little more flour on top of dough. Place second piece of parchment on top of dough and roll on top of parchment until dough is about ¼-inch thick. Every few rolls, peel top parchment and sprinkle a little more flour on both sides. 4 Use a 2- to 3-inch cookie cutter or glass to cut dough into circles. With metal flatblade spatula, lift circles and place on another part of flour-sprinkled parchment. Place one ½-inch square of chocolate or seven chocolate chips into center and fold three sides together very tightly. Place on prepared cookie sheets. Repeat with remaining dough.

5 Bake 14 to 16 minutes or until bottoms are lightly browned but tops are still light. Slide parchment onto wire racks to cool. Store in airtight container up to 5 days or freeze up to 3 months.

3 Bake 30 minutes, or until top looks dry and toothpick inserted in center comes out looking a little gooey. Cool 30 minutes; freeze minimum of one hour.

4 Place decorations into small shallow bowls. Pull up parchment paper to lift brownie out of pan. Trim 1/2-inch for sides and cut short side into long 3/4to 1-inch wide strips. Cut each strip into small squares. Press top or bottom of each brownie into desired decoration. Store in airtight container up to 3 days or freeze up to 3 months. Source: The Holiday Kosher Baker by Paula Shoyer

Yield: 96 one-inch bites

10 ounces bittersweet chocolate ½ cup canola oil, plus 2 teaspoons for greasing pan 1½ cups sugar 1/3 cup soy milk 3 large eggs 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract ½ teaspoon salt 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 1¼ cups all-purpose flour At least 3 different colored sugars, sprinkles, nonpareils, crushed candies or ground nuts

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

2 Add oil and sugar and whisk well. Add soy milk, eggs and vanilla, and whisk again. Add salt, baking powder and cocoa and mix. Add flour in four parts and whisk well each time. Scoop mixture into pan and spread evenly.

Decorated Brownie Bites

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa

1 Break or chop chocolate into small piec-

OCJL Food Editor Judy Bart Kancigor is the author of Cooking Jewish (Workman) and The Perfect Passover Cookbook (an e-book short from Workman), a columnist and feature writer for the Orange County Register and other publications and can be found on the web at www.cookingjewish.com.

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Saul Gelbart is a Certified Family Law Specialist who has been helping people resolve all matters of Family Law with the utmost care and discretion for over 30 years. He is an active member in his community, taking time to serve at local schools and coaching athletics.

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OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

PROFILE

Growing in Place

Rabbi Elie Spitz reflects on 25 years at Congregation B’nai Israel. BY JULIA LUPTON

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

PROFILE

RABBI ELIE KAPLAN Spitz, who is celebrating his twenty-fifth year as the spiritual leader of Congregation B’nai Israel (CBI) in Tustin, is the only member of his graduating class to have remained with the same congregation for the duration of his career. He considers himself “lucky to come to a very young congregation in 1988,” adding that “Holding services in a rented warehouse, CBI was run like a chavurah. Today CBI still retains its grass-roots, participatory energy.” Rabbi Spitz and CBI have grown together. Under his experimental and inclusive leadership, Congregation B’nai Israel’s not-soconservative brand of Conservative Judaism continues to spread its welcoming branches across the county by deepening its roots in the variety and wonder of the Jewish tradition. Born to Holocaust survivors in Phoenix, Arizona, Elie Spitz started undergraduate studies at Arizona State. Tranferring to the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, he studied Jewish philosophy and psychology. Rabbi Spitz earned a law degree from Boston University in 1978 and then began working towards his rabbinical ordination at the Jewish Theological Seminary. He became a rabbi and moved to Orange County in 1988. Rabbi Spitz is married to Linda Kaplan Spitz, a neurologist. They have three children, Joseph, Jonathan and Anna Rose. Joey is working for the Consul General of Israel in the area of college outreach. Jon is currently interviewing for medical school. Anna is fin-

Rabbi Spitz combines a deep respect for tradition with an openness to new horizons for Jewish life and thought.

Jonathan Spitz, Professor Elie Wiesel and Rabbi Elie Spitz meet in the rabbi’s study.

ishing her freshman year at the University of Michigan. While Elie Spitz’s study of Jewish law links him to the great tradition of rabbinic teaching, his interest in Jewish spirituality weds him to the modern search for meaning, healing and growth in the age of science and secularism. His book Does the Soul Survive? A Jewish Journey to Belief in Afterlife, Past Lives, and Living with Purpose fearlessly moves beyond a merely cultural or social Judaism in order to ask big questions about the eternity of the soul and whether there is life after death. Examining phenomena that range from neardeath experiences to reincarnation and pastlife memory, Rabbi Spitz explores what we are really able to know about the afterlife. He turns to Jewish texts for their insights into the depths and capacities of the soul. Rabbi Spitz’s second book, Healing from Despair: Choosing Wholeness in a Broken World, approaches pain, depression and personal crisis as occasions for renewal. Rabbi Spitz discovers in his own life as well as the journeys of Moses, Maimonides, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Buber the inescapability of brokenness as an element of the human condition, and he entreats his readers to move from brokenness

to healing through Jewish wisdom and the wisdom of neighboring traditions. Rabbi Spitz’s work in Jewish meditation and guided imagery has led him to explore the wisdom of world religions, from eastern meditation to Christian monasticism. He is currently working on an e-book entitled Toward Wholeness: Guided Imagery, Prayer, and Meditation, a collection of Jewish spiritual exercises that draw on both ancient and modern devotional techniques. The multimedia project will include video and audio components designed to lead participants in experiences to explore and grow both inwards and upwards. Like Conservative Judaism, Rabbi Spitz combines a deep respect for tradition with an openness to new horizons for Jewish life and thought. Rabbi Spitz will complete his reading of the entire Talmud with a celebration of Jewish learning at CBI on October 14. In the words of congregant Howard Mirowitz, “Rabbi Spitz uniquely fuses his intellectual approach to Judaism with its mystical elements. The energy of that fusion animates everything he does as a rabbi.” We caught up with Rabbi Spitz to reflect on his 25 years as spiritual leader of CBI: OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

Torah with Liora

PROFILE

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Tutoring 26 Years of Experience

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What do you see as the biggest challenge facing Jews and Judaism in America today? The biggest challenge for the vitality of Jewish community in America is apathy, followed by superficiality. Judaism is what Jews do, grounded in what they believe and to what they commit. We are blessed to live in an open society with great acceptance. Our challenge is to justify being part of an ancient, sacred-seeking people amidst a secular cultural momentum of avoiding particularity and prioritizing materialistic gain. What possible solutions do you see? Jews need to celebrate our distinctive quest for meaning and study the value-laden wisdom of our heritage. Community leaders need to courageously welcome change while humbly preserving continuity. We need to emphasize the joy of linking ourselves to the rhythms and rituals of Jewish communal celebration, compassion and commitment. What is your favorite parsshah? My favorite parashah is whatever parashah I am reading. I continue to uncover nuggets of wisdom in the Biblical text and in the writings of our sages. Precisely because I have read the Torah so many times, each new insight from a close reading is amplified in significance for me. What is your favorite commandment? My favorite commandment is the tenth, which I understand as a promised reward: If we observe the other nine commandments we will find contentment and will not covet what others have. Who is your favorite Biblical hero? More and more, I am drawn to Moses, aware that he is described as a servant of God 56

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

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In a format that has become very familiar, Rabbi Elie Spitz interviews Natan Sharansky.

and that the key adjective for him is humble. I identify with the descriptions of his growth as a leader and how he negotiates the many burdens of leadership. What is the most important contribution that Judaism has made to world civilization? Judaism’s greatest contribution is the image of God as the Parent of the whole of creation, which means that God cares deeply for our wellbeing, how we get along with others, and that we treat each person with respect, especially those who are the weakest. What is Judaism’s greatest contribution to Jews? The greatest contribution that Judaism has given Jews is the Sabbath, a day a week to step out of commerce and doing to know that our dignity and value do not come from what we produce and that we need to prioritize time to value our family, community and to honor the goodness of God’s many blessings. A

Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz will be honored by congregation and community on Sunday, March 23, at 5 p.m. at CBI. The evening includes cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, live and silent auction, dinner and live music. Tickets are $154 per person. For information and RSVP, call (714) 730-9693 or e-mail cbi18@cbi18.org. OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

PROFILE

Love & Light Local musician spreads songs steeped in Jewish mystic tales. BY STEFANEE FREEDMAN Mikey Pauker wants to make the whole world connected to Jewish music.

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

PROFILE

for their music and messages. Jamaican dancehall artist Tj Di Hitmaker and ex-Israeli artist Lior Ben-Hur are some of the musicians joining Pauker on some of his recordings. The song “The Light,” featuring ex-Hasidic, gay rapper Y-Love, is a “folk meets hip-hop” track, a musical illustration of Pauker’s love that knows no boundaries. Hip-hop producer Diwon (Y-Love, Bonhom) helped Pauker bring together his songs full of rhythms and layered in electronic beats over the main foundation of acoustic folk. Having just returned from the esteemed Limmud International Conference set this year at the University of Warwick in England, Pauker is settling into his inspiration to connect the world with Jewish music. Over the course of the Pauker has been Conference that took place December 20 to 26, Pauker spreading his played five gigs for Limmud’s 2,500 participants and also unique blend of formances at SXSW, a prime taught a workshop on writtime spot at Jacob’s Ladder Jewish themed ing Jewish spiritual music. Festival in Israel and head“As a touring recording lining the Steven Gottleib reggae folk artist, I find performing at Music Festival. “I am determined to make Limmud to be a ‘Golden music around the whole world feel conOpportunity,’” says Pauker. nected to Jewish music and “I am grateful for the opporthe globe. closer to what you would call tunity Limmud has given the ‘Spirit,’” said Pauker. “I me. Having just joined this want my music to connect niche of Jewish spiritual with all people and spiritual music in the past 5 years, I denominations and remind us all that, in the was honored to receive the invitation and end, all souls end in the same place.” jumped at the opportunity.” Pauker released his full-length album Limmud is a festival/conference where “Extraordinary Love” on Shemspeed Records all denominations of Jews come together on October 1, 2013. His blend of folk, to engage in deep social, spiritual, formal electronica, pop, hip-hop and reggae, woven and experiential learning sessions. There are together by his sense of divine experiences with ancient texts is an excellent example of world-class speakers, rabbis, publishers, visual this artist’s love of Judaism and many different artists, recording artists, educators and enthusiasts who participate by facilitating sessions styles of music. “The Jewish mysticism in my music is not or who just go to learn. “I already have been invited to participate overly blatant, so it speaks to a broader audience,” explains Pauker. “I feel I am an educa- in a handful of other Limmuds all over the tor as well as a performer. I want to show how world,” explains Pauker. “I also have a lot more to come locally. I look forward to sharpowerful Jewish music can be.” This album features many special guest ing with the community in Orange County producers and performers that Pauker admires where I am now.” A Spiritual music is Pauker’s niche.

CHANNELING DIVINE EXPERIENCE and Jewish mysticism to other people’s ears is a divine calling for Mikey Pauker. Last month, he was part of the Orange County Music Awards’ nominees for best live performers to come out of the county, showcasing his music along with other folk artists at the Tiki Bar in Costa Mesa. The Laguna Niguel native could not just keep his studies of the Torah and Chassidic text (which he practices daily) to himself. Instead, Pauker is driven to share his spiritual love and light with the world through his love of writing and performing music. “When I was a child, I thought Jewish music was a little cheesy,” says Pauker. “Then I found my voice leading a musical evening prayer while working at Camp Newman in Santa Rosa (California), and something just clicked for me. I knew at that moment I wanted to do this for my whole life.” Since that moment, Pauker has been spreading his unique blend of Jewish-themed reggae folk music around the globe. He had shared the stage with musicians like Trevor Hall, Matthew Santos, Matisyahu, Idan Raichel and The Local Natives, among other artists. He has captivated audiences at some of the biggest festivals happening today with per-

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

Varying DEGREES NEWS FROM THE JEWISH COLLEGE SCENE

Many sides of Israel

by Ilene Schneider

Grad student Tyler Dean and Milstein-JAFI Israel Fellow Lihi Gordon

s the shaliach (ambassador) for Israel on Orange County college campuses, Lihi Gordon has a message to impart: “People don’t know Israel until they go. It’s not just what they see on the news. Beyond the media hype, beyond the politics and wars, Israelis lead very normal lives.” 62

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

Gordon thinks that the best way to show people what Israel is about is through culture. She hosts events at her apartment where college students from all over the county can watch Israeli films. “Besides being a democratic place in every other way, Israel gives its filmmakers the freedom to criticize the government and the society,” she said.

VaryingDegrees

balance between the promotion of culture and the discusShe also helped students with handing out roses at UCI during Valentine’s Day week with the message, “from Israel sion of politics, AFI offers students a better understanding of with love.” It was all part of the “Israel Loves You” campaign Israel through opening the lines of dialogue.” to show the many sides of Israel to Jewish students and anyShaoulian added that the group hosts weekly “Pizza, one else who might be listening. At the event, which was held Politics and Parasha” sessions, brings speakers from various on February 11, the group handed out 50 roses and a postbackgrounds and tables on campus for Israeli philanthropies. card as well. The event was broadcast on Google Hangouts “A number of us also attended the AIPAC Policy Conference and Live on YouTube and was a collaboration of the shlichim to better our skills in advocacy,” she said. “But whether it’s at York University, Toronto; Arizona State University; Towson through inviting prominent speakers from Sderot or embracUniversity, Baltimore; Brooklyn College, New-York; Portland ing our beautiful culture through a weeklong campus celState University, Portland and UCI. The initiative was created ebration of Israel in May, AFI is a strong organization that lets by Shaliach Matan Evrany at York University, Toronto. UCI know that everybody can relate to the Israeli narrative.” Now all of the major campuses in Orange County have At Chapman Mai Gattenyo founded a new club called Israel clubs. They hope to show the cultural side of Israel at Panthers For Israel. The club, which is new on campus this every opportunity. semester, aims to educate the Chapman population Sharon Shaoulian, vice president of Anteaters For about Israel. Israel (AFI), Israel’s pro Israel, student-run club, According to Gattenyo, “I found that at said, “I am proud to say that UC Irvine is on track Panthers For Chapman, there isn’t so much a problem with to encourage Zionism on campus. Finding a Israel aims to anti-Israel sentiment but rather with ignorance. bring Israel closer The average Chapman student knows little to to the students nothing about Israel and the problems curat Chapman. rently in the Middle East. Panthers For Israel is thus important because it is the campus’s sole access point to receiving Israel education. Panthers For Israel aims to bring Israel closer to the students at Chapman, “so that it is no longer a foreign nation that students occasionally hear about in the news, but rather a nation that students can connect to,” Gattenyo said. “In the coming semester, I aim to start programs with other groups on campus to bring Israel closer to them. For instance, I am working on seeing if Dodge School of Film is interested in doing an Israeli movie night as an access point to Israel for students. Panthers For Israel aims to bring an Israel presence and Israel education to the Chapman community and is consequently important for opening the dialogue about Israel with Chapman students.” Cal State Fullerton is starting Titans for Israel. Gordon hopes to get local community college students involved as well. A UCI Jordan Elcott and Morgan Williams OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

LIFESTYLE

Orange Jews

Forty families with young children celebrated Shabbat at NextGen’s Shalom Family Shabbat dinner on January 31. Shalom Family connects families with young children to each other and to the broader OC Jewish community. On Sunday, February 9, NextGen Cares volunteered at Mandel House – Orange County’s first Jewish residential home for adults with disabilities. NextGen Cares is the social action cluster for Jewish young professionals to volunteer throughout Orange County. For more information about NextGen programs and events, contact NextGen@jffs.org and ShalomFamily@ jffs.org. TOP LEFT: Blake Levenson TOP RIGHT: Ian Silvers and son Lucas MIDDLE LEFT: Yaron Shaham and daughter MIDDLE RIGHT: Jessica Guttenberg and daughter BOTTOM RIGHT: Shelley Levenson

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JACKIE MENTER OF JEWISH FEDERATION & FAMILY SERVICES

SHALOM FAMILY BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER

LIFESTYLE

G e n Y Wo rl d

A Slightly Offensive Slant

CONVERSATIONS ARE INTENDED TO CHALLENGE THE PARTICIPANTS ABOUT THEIR OBSERVANCE. BY RACHEL SCHIFF

APPARENTLY THE ORANGE County 20s and 30s appreciate a slightly offensive take on cultural Judaism. Moishe House (MoHo) - Costa Mesa and I have partnered up for several months to provide a different perspective on Judaism in Orange County. The event addresses common issues that we, as OC residents, struggle with in our assimilated lives. As advertised, “Coffee Talk with Rachel Schiff is a Brooklynstyle conversation about Judaism in OC and a national look on Jewish topics from a more cultural and urban perspective. This isn’t your Bubbie’s conversation!” Ironically, the word “religious” can be a deterrent for people. For some, it reminds them of a community they cannot relate to; others find the concept of Torah and religion so far removed from their lives that they simply identify as “just Jewish.” Millennials are less inclined to place themselves in a category or a major sect of Judaism, even if they attend a synagogue regularly. Our perception of Judaism and community does not match the framework of our parents’ communities. Often overwhelmed and pressed for time, Millennials are typically concerned with where 66

to place their mental and physical energy. Where should we grow and develop? Where should we spend our limited amounts of time? On top of these concerns, we deal with where our religious and cultural issues fall in our daily grind. When do we prioritize our affiliations and practices? Many times, as Millennials, we discover much of what we value in conversations when we engage with others. The discussion aids participants by setting out a portion of time that is both social and engaging. The conversations are intended to challenge the participants to assess how they observe their Judaism. Many times people have expressed that a Jewish conversation is intimidating. This relaxed and even inappropriate slant allows the participants to come into a nonjudgmental space. Sitting on a sofa with coffee, tea and some unhealthy carbohydrates really does relax the slightly anxious and neurotic Jewish population. If that does not calm the nerves, the diction perpetuates a liberal environment where all ideas are welcome. There is no prior objective; no one is supposed to come into the event with a skill set or deep understanding

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

of his or her personal beliefs and then suddenly expect to change. The event is simply a bold conversation, encouraging the members of the community to evaluate their own personal beliefs and share them. Many times I have found myself questioning my own practices after discussing topics with participants. As an element of surprise, I do not share the topic until people get to MoHo. There is a level of fairness with this method. No one has the ability to research and become an authority prior to the discussion. In life, as Jews, we have to make assessments of how we will handle situations without having time to study up on topics. Why should this event be any different? Another beautiful gem about not sharing the topic is that people seem to attend due to sheer curiosity. Previous topics that have been discussed are: B’nai Mitzvot: Are they important?; Jewish Online Dating; Keeping a Kosher Home; Sexy Jewish Women; and Being Jewish on Christmas. MoHo and I welcome community members between the ages of 21 and 30 to join us in our monthly event. Typically, the events are held the last Monday of every month.

Our perception of Judaism and community does not match the framework of our parents’ communities.

RACHEL SCHIFF

is an English teacher who graduated from Cal State Fullerton. She was president of Hillel, a representative of the World Union of Jewish Students and a YLD intern. Currently, she is a master’s degree student in American Studies, with emphasis on Jews in America.

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FEEDING THE L HUNGRY SOU Acts of ch Kindness Tea s Life Lesson GAME TIME al A Nutrition Take on Matching Fun

Your Blooming Brood ‘em, How to Feed ‘em! How to Treat

MARCH 2014

Look inside to find the latest issue of Kiddish, Orange County Jewish Life’s new insert publication for our younger audience and their parents. Happy reading, from our family to yours! For more information, give us a call at 949-734-5574.

OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

LIFESTYLE

SENIORS

CALENDAR MARCH 2014

MONDAYS 9 AM Yoga 10 AM News & Views 11:30 AM Drop-in Bridge 7 PM Mah Jongg Strategies Merage JCC 10 AM Tai Chi 10:30 AM Stretching 1 PM Yiddish Club Ezra AACA TUESDAYS 10 AM Bridge Workshop 10:30 AM The View for Women of All Ages Merage JCC

WEDNESDAYS 10:30 PM Learn to Play Mah Jongg 7 PM iPhone Tips and Secrets Merage JCC WEDNESDAYS AND FRIDAYS 8:45 AM Gentle Yoga Merage JCC THURSDAYS 9:30 AM Drop-In Mah Jongg 10:30 AM Beyond the Canvas Merage JCC 9:30 AM Keeping Fit Ezra AACA FRIDAYS 10 AM Men’s Club at the J

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

10:30 AM Mah Jongg Classes 11 AM Chair Yoga for Seniors 11:30 AM iPhone Tips Merage JCC

THURSDAY, MARCH 13 No Ezra: Fast of Esther

MONDAY, MARCH 3 11 AM What’s Up? Ezra AACA

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19 10:30 AM Women’s Connection: Feelings and Food Merage JCC

7 PM The Jewish Experience: Jews and Booze: The Chosen People in the Age of Prohibition Merage JCC WEDNESDAY, MARCH 5 7 PM Orange County Jewish Genealogical Society: Roger Lustig, Genealogical Researcher: Germany-beforeGermany, Pre-World War I German Jewish Genealogy Jewish Federation & Family Services 1 Federation Way, Irvine www.ocjgs.org, info@ocjgs.org or (949) 423-3746 THURSDAY, MARCH 6 10:30 AM High Blood Pressure & Medication Ezra AACA THURSDAYS, MARCH 6 AND 13 10 AM Create: Make Your Own Passover Plate Cover 10:30 AM Beyond the Canvas: Marcel Duchamp and Fernand Leger Merage JCC

MONDAY, MARCH 17 11 AM Event That Changed History Ezra AACA

THURSDAY, MARCH 20 10:30 AM To be a Jew in the Free World Ezra AACA MONDAY, MARCH 24 11 AM Happiness Hour Ezra AACA TUESDAY, MARCH 25 10 AM Books & Bagels The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker Merage JCC WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26 10:30 AM Get Your Book Published Merage JCC WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26 11 AM Writing for Reminiscences Ezra AACF THURSDAY, MARCH 27 10:30 AM Volunteers for Israel Ezra AACA MONDAY MARCH 31 11 AM Program For Caregivers Ezra AACA

MONDAY MARCH 10 11 AM Purim Program Ezra AACA TUESDAY, MARCH 11 7 PM Men’s Wine Tasting RSVP: Sid Field, (949) 464–9939 or Bacchus1961@cox.net WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12 11 AM Writing for Reminiscences Ezra AACF

All events are at the Merage JCC, 1 Federation Way, Irvine, (949) 435-3400 x 303; www.jccoc. org; the Ezra Center at Temple Beth Emet, 1770 W. Cerritos, Anaheim, (714) 776-1103; or the Ezra Center at Temple Beth Tikvah, 1600 N. Acacia, Fullerton, (714) 871-3535 unless otherwise indicated.

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OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014

LIFESTYLE

Celebrating Orange County’s Jewish History A Silver Star and A Purple Heart BY DALIA TAFT

Blogosphere Orange County Jewish Life wants to acknowledge some of the interesting blogs related to the Jewish community. Enjoy!

Ted Bernstein, 1939; Silver Star and Purple Heart Confirmation Card, 1944

American Judaism is in crisis. But it isn’t the crisis that mainstream American Jewish leaders would have you believe. It is at once much better and much worse.

dkquotes.wordpress.com This past Shabbat our congregation was touched by that which we never thought could happen to us. An early morning electrical fire destroyed our kitchen...

www.ravima.com THEODORE (TED) BERNSTEIN was born in New York City in 1920 and later moved with his parents, Hyman and Mary (née Ducker), to Santa Ana, where younger brother, Robert, was born in 1926. His father and Uncle Philip were in business together as Bernstein Bros. Poultry, selling chickens and eggs first from their garage and later from a large lot at the corner of West 5th and Fairview. Ted attended three years of college, majoring in chemistry at UCLA, before signing up for WWII in December of 1941. Assigned as a radio gunner, he was killed in action on May 30, 1943, when his plane was shot down while on a combat mission off the coast of Tunisia. Only 22 years old when he died, he was posthumously awarded both the Silver Star and Purple Heart. His memory and service are commemorated at the North Africa American Cemetery in Tunisia as well as the San Francisco National Cemetery.

Dalia Taft, archivist of the Orange County Jewish Historical Society – a Connect 2 People Initiative of Jewish Federation & Family Services – highlights images from the archives every month. For more information, please visit www.jewishorangecounty.org/historical. You can also contact Dalia at historical@jffs.org or at (949) 435-3484, ext. 167.

MARCH 2014 | OCJEWISHLIFE.COM

The Sochi Jewish community embraced the Israeli delegation and other Jewish athletes with a welcome from the Chief Rabbi of Russia, and candles and kaddish chanting for the 11 Israelis murdered at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

www.jewishpress.com The greater problem with John Kerry’s policies is not that his intentions are evil; it’s that the process he advocates is setting into motion a series of events that are deeply damaging to Israel.

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OCJEWISHLIFE.COM | MARCH 2014