SDJJ MARCH by San Dieguito Printers

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 3

Hillel of San Diego is proud to honor

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Sunday, April 10, 2016 The Irwin M Jacobs Qualcomm Hall 5775 Morehouse Drive, San Diego, CA

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Event Co-Chairs: Laurie Black & Michael Breslauer

4 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 7

CONTENTS March 2016

Adar I/Adar II 5776

ON THE COVER: Planning a party? Use our annual resource guide to scout vendors and explore trends in decor and entertainment. Plus meet a few creatives who can help you along the way.

SPORTS: One Israeli family has just made San Diego and Poway Ice Arena their home to train for the 2018 Winter Olympics.

THEATER: Jewish playwright examines love, loss and our relationships to our bodies in a world premiere play about tennis and so much more.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: The Crack Shack helps make fried chicken and schmaltz fried fries cooler than cool.

8 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: 30 FUNNY PAGES:

Purim and sports jokes good for a few giggles.

32 SENIORS:

Seacrest Village has a new adult day center for people with early stage dementia.

36 SPORTS:

How two home town boys turned a lifelong love of sports into a thriving business in a highly competitive industry.

53 TRAVEL:

Our parenting columnist writes about her experiences on a recent trip to Argentina. The takeaway: don't cry for this country, go visit.

62 FOOD:

Middle Eastern tomato garlic fish.

73 SYNAGOGUE:

Temple Emanu-El's gala committee honors Dr. Robert Rubenstein.

Monthly Columns 12 The Starting Line 22 Parenting 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Aging 28 Spirituality 76 Advice Around Town 18 Our Town 20 The Scene 70 Events

In Every Issue 14 Mailbag 16 What’s Up Online 64 What’s Goin’ On 66 Shabbat Sheet 67 Diversions 68 News

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 9

www.sdjewishjournal.com March 2016 • Adar I/Adar II 5776

PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss

Managing Director-‐ D Investments Managing irector-‐ Investments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Waddell jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Alissa AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate CA insurance Lic #0I18483

858-‐523-‐858-‐ 7904 523-‐7904

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Managing Director-‐ Investments Insurance ic #0C28496 Jeffrey RCA Jeffrey Liber, CRFP® LLiber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Abby Walker, David Ebenbach, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Amanda Kelly, Brie Stimson, Pat Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Jon Schwartz, Marnie McCauley

12531 igh BBluff luff DDrive, rive, SSTE TE 4400 00 12531HHigh 12531 High Drive, STE 400 STE 400 12531 High Bluff Drive, San iego, CCA A B9luff 2130 Tori SanDDiego, 92130 858-532-7904 858-‐ 523-‐ 904 858-532-7904 San D7iego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ASSISTANT EDITOR • Tina B. Eshel ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak ADVERTISING & OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg

Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA®

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Senior ISnvestments 12531 VHice igh PBresident-‐ luff rive, TE 400 Investments Senior VDice President-‐ CA 92130 San Diego, 9San 2130 CA Insurance Lic C#A 0821851 CA Insurance Lic D#iego, 0821851 858-‐523-‐7904 858-‐523-‐7904 Gina Grimmer don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate

CA insurance Lic #0178195

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Gina rimmer Alissa Waddell Alissa WDRaddell Jeffrey Liber, Investments CFP® Don GLincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Managing irector-‐ Senior Vice President-‐ Investments CA Insurance LD ic irector-‐ #0C28496 CA Registered Insurance LRegistered ic 0821851 C#lient ssociate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate Managing Investments Senior VAice President-‐ Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Investment CA Guarantee insurance ic #Lose 0178195 CA insurance ic #Insurance 0I18483 CA insurance LLic ic ##0178195 CA LLic ic ##0I18483 CA insurance ILnsurance 0C28496 CA ILnsurance 0821851 and Products: ! NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank !MAY Value Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo &

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Alan Moss (Palm Springs) SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA 92121

EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: sales@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: publisher@sdjewishjournal.com Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate Wells Fargo Wells Advisors, Member SIPC, is a registered and a separate affiliate of Wells Fargo & Fargo Advisors, LLC, SIPC, is abroker-dealer registered broker-dealer andnon-bank aCA separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & insurance Lic #0178195 CA iLLC, nsurance Lic #Member 0I18483 ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com Company. Company. Investment alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. AllProducts: rights reserved. 88580 Ð v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) and Insurance ! NOT FDIC Insured !NOÐ Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@sdjewishjournal.com

Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Gina Grimmer Alissa W addell Investment and Insurance Products: Products: ! NOT FDIC Insured Bank!NO Guarantee !MAY Lose ValueLose Value and Insurance ! NOT FDIC!NO Insured Bank Guarantee !MAY Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Investment alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company.

©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 Ð v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) Investment and Insurance Products: ! NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year

(12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2016 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. 92121. ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 Ð v1 -0312-2590 (e7460)

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 11

THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Words and the People Who Write Them

n the introduction to her book of her articles published during the 1960s, Joan Didion writes “My only advantage as a reporter is that I am so physically small, so temperamentally unobtrusive, and so neurotically inarticulate that people tend to forget that my presence runs counter to their best interests. And it always does. That is one last thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.” At the American Jewish Press Association conference in Washington D.C. last November, one of the editorial discussion topics touched on how to address the challenge of writing about a community within which the writer is embedded. Jewish publications, the remaining ones, face this challenge every day. Walking a straight line along the tight rope that stretches 10 stories high between these two facts – that writers can be dangerous and Jewish publications are inextricably intertwined in the communities they cover – is sometimes nervewracking. But as with anything difficult, if we focus on the fear, we’ll fall. If, instead, we accept the perils and trust our ability to move with grace, we’ll make it to the other side and back again. With each issue of the San Diego Jewish Journal, we’re stepping off the ledge onto that taut wire to share stories about our Jewish community

here, in Israel, and throughout the world. The hope is that through these stories, we can better understand one another, through finding comfort in the ways that we are the same and learning to embrace the ways in which we differ. I first understood the true power of the written word after an embarrassing incident involving a yearbook and a fellow seventh grader. When the dust settled, I remember my mom said, “You have to be careful what you put in writing. That is permanent.” Of course, I now know (through that and plenty more lexical missteps), nothing is more true. That’s why journalism has such a strict code of ethics; why it was cause for concern when casino mogul and major political donor Sheldon Adelson purchased and subsequently gutted Nevada’s largest newspaper; why people worry about what impacts Chevron’s “local news” website The Richmond Standard will have on that California community and their ability to remain informed about the goingson of the company’s oil refinery there; why San Diegans canceled their subscriptions to the Union Tribune when it became the U-T and why there was a brief period of excitement when it was purchased by the Tribune Company and its original masthead was restored. Words matter, and when we write them down,

Mark Your Calendar

On March 8 and 9, University of San Diego will host the inaugural Cal-Israel Expo, a conference intended to showcase the “next generation in Israeli innovations.” Local and international companies will exhibit in the fields of energy, drones, biotechnology, business consultancy and activism. Seminars will cover start-ups, venture capital, renewable energy, space exploration and more. View the seminar schedule and exhibitors list on israelinnovationexpo.com. 12 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

The hope is that through these stories, we can better understand one another, through finding comfort in the ways that we are the same and learning to embrace the ways in which we differ. their impact is magnified. Though I may be equally small, I am no shark like Joan Didion and no, the San Diego Jewish Journal is not the Los Angeles Times. But we do embrace the challenge of sharing your stories with respect, honesty and pride. It is my sincerest hope that you find something in these pages that moves you. A

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we’re listening let us know what’s on your mind GIVING THANKS Dear Editor: My phone won’t stop ringing with messages about the Jewish Journal. I would classify the issue has a home run. It is fabulous! Thank you so much. The issue is just great. It’s a pleasure to have our association. Craig Prater, Director SDJFF

ON THIS MONTH’S COVER

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

14 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

This month’s cover is a custom ketubah illustration made by Josh Jacobs, a local graphic designer who has been making modern ketubahs locally since 2007. Read more about Jacobs and his illustrations in the Simchas section on pg. 47.

@SDJEWISHJOURNAL

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whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up on sdjewishjournal.com

HOW TO BE INCLUSIVE WITHOUT BEING SELF-CONGRATULATORY: Pamela Rae Schuller has Tourette Syndrome. It made her an outcast growing up, but now it makes her an expert on how Jewish organizations can be inclusive of children with special needs. From her own experience, she explains why she and people like her are "not your mitzvah project."

BROTHERS IN BAUHAUS: A new location of the specialty SENTA Clinic has opened in Mission Valley. Inside, you'll find a modern take on a Bauhaus classic originally by Oskar Schlemmer, interpreted once by Roy Lichtenstein and now again by Brian O'Leary. Read about how Nazi influence pressed Schlemmer out of Germany, and how this contemporary artist has paid homage to Schlemmer's memory.

ISRAEL, SYRIA, TURKEY, GENEVA AND NATURAL GAS, OH MY: In December, Israel and Turkey began negotiating a full restoration of ties after nearly six years of downgraded relations. Read what happened between the former allies, why things are improving now, and why some Israeli analysts are still skeptical the Turkey-Israel impasse will be resolved.

HOW BERNIE SANDERS IS AND ISN'T JEWISH: Jewish history was made when the Brooklyn-born "democratic socialist" Senator from Vermont won New Hampshire's primary. But is Bernie Sanders Jewish? And does it matter, as far as the Jewish history books are concerned? On our website, we have two perspectives on this question.

Hear about all our web exclusives first: Like us on Facebook.com/ sandiegojewishjournal and follow us on Twitter @sdjewishjournal 16 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

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Securities offered through AXA Advisors, LLC (NY, NY 212-554-1234), member FINRA, SIPC. Annuity and insurance products offered through AXA Network, LLC, which does business in CA as AXA Network Insurance Agency of California, LLC, in UT as AXA Network Insurance Agency of Utah, LLC, in TX as AXA Network Insurance Agency of Texas, Inc., and in PR as AXA Network of Puerto Rico, Inc. AXA Advisors and AXA Network do not provide tax or legal advice. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S.

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TOP L-R: Arthur and Sandra Levinson â&#x20AC;˘ Barbara and Bill Sperling, and Judy Friedel.

our TOWN BY LINDA BENNETT AND BETSY BARANOV, PHOTOS COURTESY FILM FESTIVAL

Film Fest Draws Crowds The 26th annual San Diego Jewish Film Festival was a huge success. Many thanks go to Saundra Saperstein, chair, co-chair Christina Fink, and their hard working committee. Enjoying the shows were Claris and Arturo Levin, Helene and Allan Ziman, Carol and Stephen Baird, Renee Feinswog, Judi Gottschalk, Susan and Eric Weisman, Marcia and Don Wolochow, Lynette Allen and Larry Rothenberg, Julie and Edgar Berner, Leslie and Roy Davis, Devora and Leon Fajerman, Holly and David Hazan, Devorah and Itzhak Gurantz, Fanny Krasner Lebovits, Marsha and Herb Lubick, Paula Park, Sheryl Rowling, Betty Amber, Barry Fisch, Sammy and Sarita Zands, Barbara and Robert Ziering, Cathy and

John Weil, Harris Steinberg, Lynn and Norman Lurie, Patti Cooprider, Nina Lott, Elisha Blatt, Louis and Tammy Vener, Frances Lobman, Shari and Fred Schenk, Stephen Edelstein, and Bobbi Warren and many more.

Mazel Tov Mazel tov to Zachary Lenett on his Bar Mitzvah at Temple Emanu-El on Jan. 6! Zachary is the son of Harvey and Stefani Lenett and the brother of Sam.

Births

Kevin and Lana Keller welcomed Fredrik Safran Keller on Jan. 6. He joins his almost 8-year-old brother Maxwell. Happy grandparents are Betsy Keller, Michael Keller and Dan Veale, and Lydia and Eugene Jager.

BOTTOM L-R: Fran and Phil Ginsgerg â&#x20AC;˘ Joyce Axelrod, Chris Frank and Michele Kipnis.

18 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

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the SCENE BY NATALIE JACOBS PHOTOS COURTESY JFS

JFS Dedicates New Joan & Irwin Jacobs Campus On Jan. 31 Jewish Family Service officially opened its new Joan & Irwin Jacobs campus on Balboa Ave., commemorating the completion of the four-year project. Featuring a client choice pantry and enhanced collaborative workspace, the Campus is “client-centered” says CEO Michael Hopkins. “We have positioned many of the services a client needs together in a positive, healing environment,” he continues in a press release. The ceremony included Rabbi Yael Ridberg to dedicate the mezuzah, current and past board members, clients and their families, and the Campus’s namesake Joan and Irwin Jacobs. Also recent, JFS unveiled new branding including a new logo and a fresh tagline, ahead of the organization’s 100 year anniversary, coming up in 2018.

20 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT: Herb and Marsha Lubick, and Linda and Joe Satz • Michael Hopkins, Marcia Hazan, Joan and Irwin Jacobs, Shana Hazan, Jennifer Levitt • Howard Greenberg and Esther Fischer.

MUSINGS FROM MAMA

by Sharon Rosen Leib

PARENTING srleib@me.com

Lump Sum Trust

ne hundred billion dollars strikes me as a lot of money to drop all at once. And yet many bright, powerful minds didn’t seem overly troubled by releasing this mass quantum of dollars to Iran. Even if Iran could boast the cleanest of slates on terrorism and human rights, thawing out and turning over that kind of buying power lacks pragmatism in my mother-of-three, trustee-of-many book. Any hands-on parent of toddlers or teenagers knows that going all carrot while wielding the tiniest of sticks (akin to a toothpick) begs for trouble. And yes, the United States reserved the right to “snap-back” sanctions if Iran violates provisions of July’s nuclear agreement and maintains other lesser sanctions curtailing direct business dealings with Iran and punishing Iranians accused of sponsoring terrorism. But let’s face reality – the big money is already so far out of the bag that these remaining sanctions seem naively quaint. Of course we all want to trust errant nations and children. But hopeful trust often turns out to be indulgent, wishful thinking. Comedian Dana Carvey’s famous Saturday Night Live mimicry of President George H.W. Bush, from the early 1990s, saying, “Now, that wouldn’t be prudent” keeps coming to mind. I never thought I’d be saying this, but where is that senior-Bushstyle measured approach when we need it? I’ve earned some hard-won knowledge about the perils of lump sum payments from my experience administering a couple of trusts. When people come into money all at once, they tend to get dollar drunk. Our family financial planner Linda, who’s helped people manage their money for decades, told me, “Upwards of 80 percent of people who inherit money or win the lottery blow through the cash in an average of 18 months no matter what the amount.” That just doesn’t seem prudent! And that’s why wise estate planners advise their clients to draft wills and trusts parceling out money to their children over intervals of time so they can pace their spending. Or they alternatively require the children to reach a certain age before they get their hands on the money. When I asked Linda 22 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

Even a modestly gradual lifting of sanctions over the course of a year would’ve given Iranian President Hassan Rouhani’s government time to phase in measures to shore up the economy. how she felt about deceased clients controlling family finances from their graves, she replied, “I have no problem! It’s so hard to see kids blowing through their parents’ hard-earned money.” I’ve taken her advice to heart when administering trusts, by doling out the money over extended periods of time. I’ve also been careful to hold money back to pay for unforeseen expenses (like an IRS audit) before making the final payout. Once assets have been distributed, trying to get anything back is unpleasant at best and impossible at worst. So what does all this have to do with Iran? Lifting $100 billion in sanctions almost instantaneously just wasn’t prudent. Even a modestly gradual lifting of sanctions over the course of a year would’ve given Iranian President Hassan Rouhani’s government time to phase in measures to shore up the economy. A proceed-with-caution approach would’ve also given Rouhani some political cover (Iranians’ expectations for a speedy recovery tempered by the reality of gradual monetary access). Most importantly, with that kind of plan, antiWestern and anti-Israeli Iranian hardliners wouldn’t have instant access to such big money. Alas, if only world leaders had tapped into some fundamental parental wisdom and legal estate planning principles we might have had more of a cash roll out and less of a dollar dump. Here’s to hoping the Iranian powers that be put the billions to good use reviving their battered economy and enhancing their citizens’ quality of life. Now that would be prudent! A

FYI

The South African Jewish American Community (SAJAC) will host "Memories of Muizenberg," a traveling exhibit at the Cape Town Grill on Miramar Road March 20-27. The photo exhibit, which has traveled around the world for the past several years, explores the history of Muizenberg and the South African Jewish relationship to the beach town. "It is a memory of life that no longer exists," says SAJAC President Brian Marks, "but was an incredible rallying point for the community from the turn of the century until very recently."

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LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

Guffaw

here is something to be said about living in a country always a hair’sbreadth away from war. Not that hugging a husband who packs a pistol isn’t occasionally awkward, or having my purse searched before buying milk doesn’t get tedious after a while. But between the spikes in tension and fear lie moments of unbridled mirth. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Dishes break, the dog poops on the Persian carpet, the car won’t start; I still choose laughter over disappointment because I live in Israel where chuckling is a rarity on most days. Until I moved here, the word “war” evoked images and feelings that are so very different from the technicolor reality of combat. War was far away and bore foreign faces; war was villages without running water and poorly thatched huts with dirt floors. Soldiers were large, generic, and laden with khaki rucksacks, helmets, muddy boots and heavy weaponry. I held other opinions about the military that were so uninformed, I’m too ashamed to share. Israel is under siege. Under siege by virtue of media lies, overt and orchestrated anti-Semitism, and really bad people with bombs, firearms, runaway tractors and knives. The Middle East’s only democracy experiences war unlike my childhood imagination. War is in our parking

24 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

lots and hospital cafeterias. Our soldiers are the once-baby boys and girls who watched Barney whom we rocked to sleep with lips pressed to fevered brows. Our homes are not huts; we have marble floors and indoor plumbing. Still, it seems that every day there is a bloodbath somewhere in our land and, despite the hair-trigger vigilance of our security forces, wily murderers frequently elude the defensive measures. They’re usually shot dead, resulting in a feeble Facebook round-of-applause, but take it from someone sitting in the front row of the conflict: Dodging inner-city guerrilla attacks takes a toll on one’s emotional well-being. It affects marriages, parenting, workplace productivity. Someone spending only a little time is this holy land could be confused by the nearschizophrenic rhythm of the street. Arabs, Jews and Christians shop, learn and heal alongside one-another but rarely interact outside of these official settings. Within these same walls, however, we are fiercely equal and demanding. Only after I’m away for a while can I return to Israel and identify the real culprit of this energy drain: Fear. She resides in cafes, the cinema and at the beach on a glorious summer afternoon, sneakily webbing her odium between schoolgirls’ giggles and the soft-murmuring of lovers as they whisper their plans for tomorrow. G-d-certainly

knows that we have enough on our communal plate that warrants serious attention. None of my overseas friends or relatives have devoted a special corner of the closet to gas-masks. Which brings me back to that laughter thing: One day, I couldn’t reach my husband and knowing he’d been working in dangerous territory, I got a little crazed. When he finally called, it took some time to regain my balance. Eventually calm, I was chopping vegetables for soup when I heard what seemed to be a huge explosion coming from the bathroom. It was merely the dryer falling off it’s perch from atop the washing machine. Unfortunately, the door was closed and it became jammed. Water was seeping from under the door and the dryerdrum continued its loud cycle, stuffed with damp laundry. Waiting for my handyman husband to return home, I tried in vain to pry the door open when I lost traction and fell. One foot rammed the wall and I broke a toe. Wet, injured, and concerned about the cost of the still unknown damages, I was still sitting on the sopping floor when my husband came home. He took one look at me, the mess and together we exhibited the most Israeli of responses. We laughed. A

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 25

OLDER, WISER, BETTER by Jon Schwartz

AGING jonaschwartz@hotmail.com

Relationships for Life

hat keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? Robert Waldinger took to the TED stage last November to answer this question. Mr. Waldinger, a psychiatrist, is the Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. The study is one of the longest and most complete studies of adult life ever conducted. After watching his talk, I found the lessons that make for a happy life are applicable and can benefit people at any age. The Harvard Study of Adult Development included more than 250 privileged college sophomore men at Harvard and more than 450 poor inner-city Boston teenage schoolboys. Since 1938, year after year, the study asked about these men’s work, home-life and health. To get the clearest picture about these men’s lives, the study goes beyond just a questionnaire; the researchers also obtain medical records, blood samples, brain scans, speak with children and videotape the participants talking with their wives and other family members. So, what was learned from the thousands of pages of documents from 70 years of study? The clearest message is that good relationships keep us happy and healthier. Three big takeaways from the study: 1. Social relationships are really good for us. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, friends and community, are happier and physically healthier, and ultimately live longer than people who are less well connected. On the flip side, loneliness can be toxic, not only contributing to less happiness, but also health declines earlier, in mid-life. 2. The second lesson is that one can be lonely in a crowd or even in a marriage. It is not about the quantity of relationships but rather about the quality of the relationship. Living in the midst of conflict turns out to be very bad for one’s health, while living in the midst of warm relationships is protective, even at the cellular level. The studies even found that satisfaction in one’s relationships during mid-life were a better predictor of living into one’s 80s than blood pressure and cholesterol numbers. Good, healthy relationships help to buffer us from some

26 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

Relationships can be messy and complicated. The hard work to sustain a healthy relationship is something that individuals can be hesitant to invest in. of the more common maladies as we grow old. 3. Good relationships do not just protect our bodies, they also protect our brains. The study found that people in truly secure relationships, where they feel they can truly count on the other person in times of need, had memories that stayed sharper for longer. However, individuals who did not feel they had close relationships tended to have more rapid decline in brain functioning. No doubt, maintaining healthy relationships takes effort. Relationships can be messy and complicated. The hard work to sustain a healthy relationship is something that individuals can be hesitant to invest in. However, the people in this study who were happiest worked hard to replace friends when circumstances changed. There is no doubt, the people who lived the longest, healthiest and happiest lives were those who leaned into relationships with friends, family and community. As I end the piece I can’t help but think of my generation. A recent survey of millennials (born 1980-2000) stated that a major life goal for 80 percent was to become rich. Another 50 percent of this same cohort said that a major life goal was to become famous. Society gives the impression that money, fame and investing time into work are the needed ingredients for a good life. However, if I have learned one thing from the seniors I interact with daily, it would be to replace screen time with actual face time, to reach out to an old friend who you haven’t seen or spoken with for a while. And most importantly, to mend a broken relationship with a family member. Doing so will not only help you live into your 80s and up, but will also help you become happier. A

FYI

The SDSU Downtown Gallery continues with “Energy: Made in Form.” The new exhibition explores “the tangible concept of energy,” and features regional artists as well as students and faculty from the School of Art + Design. Pictured above is David Emitt Adams’ “Navajo Refinery, Artesia, New Mexico,” a wet plate collodin tintype on a 55-gallon oil drum lid. Photo courtesy the artist.

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 27

THE ARTIST’S TORAH by David Ebenbach

SPIRITUALITY ebenbach@netzero.com

Living with Taste

he beginning of the Book of Leviticus is something like a sacrificial handbook; in the opening chapters you learn what to sacrifice, when to do it, how to do it, and what results the sacrificer can expect. This is a big topic, worthy of a handbook. In the Biblical Israelite religion, offerings were brought to the Temple for all kinds of occasions: holy days, other celebratory moments, times when a person has unintentionally done some wrong. Interestingly, intentional wrongs don’t get covered here; there is no path to forgiveness (through sacrifice, anyway) for instances where people do bad things on purpose. Instead, there are criminal penalties, some of which are quite harsh. The Torah is suggesting a couple of things. The first is that there’s an important distinction between a consciously malicious act and one that happens because of an accident or oversight. It’s also suggesting that both are nonetheless wrong. Both require some kind of response to get the world back in proper ethical order. And the response to an unintended failing is, if not as harsh as a criminal penalty, still stringent: the perpetrator, probably dependent on livestock for livelihood, has to sacrifice some in order to make good. In the Torah, a lack of negative intention is a mitigating circumstance, but it doesn’t totally absolve you. I’m reminded of a quote by the writer John Gardner, who makes an argument that all writers should “write with taste.” This means, among other things, that they “should think, always, of what harm they might inadvertently do and not do it.” He spends plenty of time elsewhere arguing against intentional harm, of course; it’s obvious enough that we shouldn’t be going around hurting others on purpose, including with our words. But Gardner, like the Torah, demands a still higher standard – one in which we avoid even bumbling our way into trouble. Notice that Gardner’s commandment, if we can call it that, is not a purely negative one. What I mean is that it’s not entirely a “don’t do rule.” The positive element, the “do” part of it, commands us

28 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

Like a good guard, we don’t just react to bad things that happen; we need to keep our eyes open to try to prevent bad things from happening. to actively “think.” In other words, it pushes us to make inadvertency impossible by becoming more conscious of our actions and their possible effects. Judaism wants the same thing from us. There’s a tradition that requires us to say a hundred blessings per day, and all of that blessing is supposed to ensure that we take notice of what’s happening, and what we’re doing. The mezuzahs on our doorposts are meant to awaken our ethical attention as we move from one space to another. The fringes on the tallit, wearing tefillin during morning prayers, the breaks in our routine that come through Shabbat and other holy days – we surround ourselves with reminders to be conscious. This all begins with the Torah, which uses the word lishmor in telling us to what to do with the commandments. Lishmor is often translated as “to observe” (apt given our discussion about paying attention) but is also frequently translated as “to guard.” Whichever one you choose (“to preserve” is another option), these are active verbs, verbs which require us to go beyond passively obeying injunctions and paying for it when we fail. Like a good guard, we don’t just react to bad things that happen; we need to keep our eyes open to try to prevent bad things from happening. Of course, we fall short. We lose focus, we miss things. That’s why the Torah offers a path to forgiveness for our mistakes (a tradition kept alive in our time most vividly by Yom Kippur). But the ideal is not the apology and restitution that follows an error. The ideal is the person who thinks, always, of what harm might be done, in order not to do it. A

 This

month’s Torah portions March 5: Vayak’hel (Exodus 35:1-38:20) March 12: Pekudei (Exodus 38:21_40:38) March 19: Vayikra (Leviticus 1:1-5:26) March 26: Tzav (Leviticus 6:1-8:36)

The Language of Philanthropy – Part 1 Brought to you by

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DELAYING DEMENTIA

with Social Interaction New Seacrest Day Center aims to provide an enriching environment for people with early stage dementia, and their families BY NATALIE JACOBS

n a Wednesday afternoon in January, four seniors sit around a white board looking at a print-out of the Mona Lisa. Sylvia, a program assistant for Seacrest Village’s Adult Day Center, leads the discussion, sharing details about why the piece was painted and how people have interpreted the figure’s smile. It’s only the third official week for this center for older adults with early stage dementia and attendance fluctuates daily. When I visited, three of the four people there were from Canada. One man, who lives in Oceanside part time and Alberta part time, brought his friends, a married couple, to experience the center. The couple was in San Diego touring facilities like Seacrest because they’re thinking about moving here part time, too. Linda has been diagnosed with early stage dementia and she and her husband, Larry, heard that social programs like day centers are helpful in keeping people’s minds active and engaged, and in some cases have been found to slow the brain’s decline. As Canadian citizens, the couple has an interesting problem to consider before making the move – they can only get U.S. health insurance for one month at a time, so they’ll have to make several trips back and forth during the year. After spending the better part of a week touring different senior residences and adult day centers, Larry told me that Seacrest’s was the best by far. “People with dementia need routine,” says Danielle White, Director of Adult Day Services at Seacrest Village. “And they need a higher level of care than family members can provide.” The day center is open weekdays from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Seniors can come as little or as much as they want to, or can afford. Fees – $80/day for anything less than six hours, or $100 for more than six hours – are pre-paid monthly and can be refunded in special cases to accommodate for “bad days,” as White calls them, when people aren’t able to attend as planned. But the idea is that seniors will come to the center on a set schedule, which helps the person with dementia but also helps White to make sure that she’s properly staffed.

As a day center, this facility is heavily regulated by the Department of Social Services’ Title 22 Community Care licensing requirements. The state requires a one to 15 ratio of caregiver to client, but White is hoping to maintain a one to four ratio to keep in line with Seacrest’s “personcentered approach.” On our stroll around the facility, White shows me the “zen room” created to comply with Title 22’s requirement that there be a space for people to rest during the day. They can’t install beds because it’s not a residential facility, so there are two recliners in the small room. The “zen” part isn’t required, but Seacrest is trying to encourage choice by offering aromatherapy, water features, and soundscapes so people can apply different zen techniques to their mood on any given day. White moved to the day center from Seacrest’s Katzin Memory Care Unit, where she was a life enrichment lead, back in April of 2015. She worked almost exclusively on getting the day center licensed until November. The center’s first day of operation was Jan. 11. Specific to the license, Seacrest’s day center is a social model, not a health model, so seniors have to meet certain requirements in order to attend. For example, White says, a senior can’t be incontinent, although she realizes accidents do happen. The senior also needs to be able to feed him or her self and handle nature’s call independently. The center is also not able to care for people who are at the dementia stage where they are constantly trying to “seek exit” as often happens later in the disease’s development, but some wandering is ok, White says (the facility has a spacious patio in a protected courtyard). For now, the day center is a quiet place for people with early stage dementia to spend a few hours in the company of their peers, under the patient supervision of someone who is not their relative, keeping their minds active in a variety of ways. As the number of clients expand, so too will the programming. A

The idea is that seniors will come to the center on a set schedule, which helps the person with dementia but also helps White to make sure that she’s properly staffed.

32 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

Interested parties can contact Danielle White for more information, at (760) 632-3720 or dwhite@seacrestvillage.org.

GOLDBERG LECTURES

ON THE MIDDLE EAST PROFESSOR JACOB GOLDBERG

Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday, April 4, 5 & 6, 2016 • 7:00 p.m. at the David and Dorothea Garfield Theatre, LFJCC 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037

• Monday, April 4, 2016 • 7:00 p.m. In the Aftermath of the Iran Nuclear Agreement: The Middle East Under the Shadow of a Nuclear-threshold Iran

• Tuesday, April 5, 2016 • 7:00 p.m. Civil Wars in Syria, Iraq, Libya, and Yemen: A Microcosm of all Middle East Conflicts and Crises

• Wednesday, April 6, 2016 • 7:00 p.m. Israel’s Challenges and Opportunities in a Chaotic Middle East: The Palestinian Problem, Iran’s Threat, and Relations with the U.S.

rofessor Jacob Goldberg (Ph.D. from Harvard University in Middle East politics) is a former Senior Adviser to Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak. He is the author of The Foreign Policy of Saudi Arabia, and has also published numerous articles in newspapers in Israel and the U. S., including The New York Times and The Washington Post.

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

||| SPORTS |||

Wandering

Skating Jews Israeli athletes hit the ice in San Diego to train for the 2018 Winter Olympics

BY TINA B. ESHEL

istory was made at European Figure skating Championships in late January when 28-year-old Israeli Alexei Bychenko took silver in men’s singles, becoming the first Israeli to claim a medal at the competition. Bychenko was joined in Bratislava, Slovakia, by Tel Aviv born Daniel Samohin, 18, also skating for Israel. Though he placed seventh in men’s singles at the event, Samohin’s global ranking rose after that performance, and he is currently the highest ranking Israeli skater in the world, according to the International Skating Union (ISU). With that, Israel is leaving its mark on the world’s figure skating sport. It’s a family effort. Father and coach, Igor Samohin, a renowned pair skater for Russia who competed from 19841986, and eldest Stas, 25, also a ranked skater, join Daniel, along with mother Irina, their choreographer, in pursuit of skating excellence and Olympic dreams. Both Samohin brothers have the 2018

34 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

Olympic Winter Games hosted by South Korea in their sights and they are choosing San Diego to get there.

After five years and six-hour commutes to and from Israel’s only ice rink, it became clear the family needed to move once more, this time to the United States. Why San Diego for this ice skating Israeli family? They’re moving from Lake Arrowhead, where Daniel and Stas have been training at the Ice Castle, a known training ground for Olympic figure skating champions for the past 30 years and the same facility where Michelle Kwan and Suya Bonaly used to train. But that historic facility is shutting down, leaving the Samohins in need of a new rink. The family learned about Poway Ice Arena,

a state-of-the-art facility off Scripps Poway Parkway that opened late last year and said yes when co-owner Smita Mehta, invited them to make it their new training ground. They aren’t the only ones carving their ice tracks in Poway; the San Diego Gulls hockey team also now trains there. I sat down with the three Samohin men at the rink the week before the European Figure Skating Championships to discuss how they came to be recruited by both the Russian and U.S.A. figure skating teams, and why they remain resolutely focused on skating for Israel, all while training in San Diego. It became obvious during our interview that skating is a very intense business. Their daily routine consists of four to five hours of training, homeschooling, and coaching other skating progenies who are following them from Arrowhead to train in Poway. The family’s journey began in Russia with father Igor’s figure skating triumphs. Stas was

PHOTOS COURTESY SAMOHIN FAMILY

only three skaters in the world who do three born in Moscow but he was barely out quad jumps in a program; Daniel is one of of diapers and already into skates when them. A quad or qaudruple jump is a figure the family emigrated to Israel, where Igor skating jump with four or 4 ½ revolutions. began working with the Israel Olympic They’ve become increasingly popular figure skating team. After five years and since being introduced into compettion in six-hour commutes to and from the the late 1980s, and it’s now considered a country’s only ice rink, it became clear the Daniel Samohin, Smita Mehta, Igor Samohin and Stas Samohin take a break from practice to document the occasion handicap if a competitve skater doesn’t do family needed to move once more, this at Poway Ice Arena. at least one in a single program. time to the United States, if Stas was to Daniel, the King of Quads (or continue purusing his men’s figure skating looked confident and strong. #kingofquads in social media references), dreams. This was before Daniel, still a A highly qualified coach as well, Stas keeps is a spectacular jumper. Those leaps earned him baby, had taken to the ice blades. “There’s actually no rinks [left] in Israel,” Stas himself busy on and off the ice working with a gold medal at the 2015 U.S. International says with a laugh. The rink they were using in their growing team of international skaters, some Figure Skating Classic in Salt Lake City last year. the south of Israel closed a year before the family from as far away as Switzerland, who travel to HaTikvah played as medals were awarded. Listening to the Israel National Anthem as he moved to the United States, first to Boston, with train with the Samohins in Poway. Smita Mehta, a “lifelong hockey fan from accepted his medal was a powerful moment for a stint in Florida and now California. All three Samohins talk over one another for a moment, Canada,” opened Poway Ice Arean with her the whole family, Daniel recalls. “It was nice to hear because you always get to smiling and describing that year when Stas honed husband, Nish, and “a few local investors” in November, 2015. hear these other anthems. When they raised my his skills on roller skates instead of ice. flag, it was awesome. There were people from the Fifteen years later, both brothers Samohin Israel community [in Salt Lake City] who came command the ice from Southern California as and were tearing up as well … finally, we are part of the 13-member Israel Olympic skating getting to show the world that Israel has skaters.” team. Daniel Samohin was ranked in the top Both say they love skating for Israel and they 20 prior to the European Championships. His miss the food of their home country. seventh-place finish raised his overall three-year “The history of the country is [also] amazing,” rank by two, to 18. says Stas who remembers living there and going “That’s really crazy because it took me two to the Dead Sea and Jerusalem. “My grandmother years to get there, you know?” is there and makes a lot of food…” he says as his “No,” his brother interrupts, “it took you your dad and younger brother start laughing again. whole life to get there.” “When they go to Israel, I’m scared. They only “He just has to ruin the moment,” Daniel go for two, three days, but I’m scared about their kids in return. “No, he’s right, it took me my weight,” Igor says, smiling. His mother, the boys’ whole life to get there, but I’m saying in terms grandmother, lives in Ashkelon, Israel. competing internationally, about two years of If you don’t know their international journey, those international competitions, it got me Stas and Daniel Samohin seem like your typical there.” American kids with Olympic-sized dreams. To Father Igor steps in to clarify that it’s hard to catch them on the ice, visit the Poway Ice Arena specify a ranking since we’re talking in the middle which is open to public view during professional of the figure skating season. “The biggest reasoning was for kids. ... We practice times. Best times are around 1 p.m., Even so, rankings are discussed amongst the Samohins with pride. Stas, who is currently were thinking, let’s open it up to give these kids when the men are warmed up. You can follow their progress on the ISU recovering from two knee surgeries and hasn’t a chance to grow … and ended up building this website, isu.org. Daniel is competing in the competed for two and a half years, has been rink for the community.” Even though there were five year-round ice World Junior Figure Skating Championships in ranked in the top 200 worldwide for the past three years. As a junior skater for Israel, Stas was rinks in San Diego County before Poway Ice Debrecen, Hungary, March 14-20. When the the first young athlete to win an international opened, Mehta and her family saw a need for season is complete and final points are tallied, another. They built it to give people more time the Samohins will have a better idea of their competition in skating for Israel in 2000-2001. He’s looking forward to competing again, on the ice during hours that were family-friendly, standings towards qualifying for the Olympics hoping to do so when the new season starts this as opposed to early morning or late evening, she among the 13 men skating for Israel. says. That the Gulls and Samohins found out Poway Ice Arena also offers public skate times, fall. “Now I’m coming back, I’m recovering,” he about the new facilities and decided to train there lessons, and rental opportunities. Learn more about says. “I’m doing a lot of physical therapy right during the day turns out to be an added bonus skating hours and lessons at powayice.com. A for the rink, and for San Diego. now.” Igor Samohin tells me that there are currently The day I was there, he was on the ice and

“There’s actually no rinks [left] in Israel,” Stas says with a laugh. The rink they were using in the south of Israel closed a year before the family moved to the United States, first to Boston, with a stint in Florida and now California. All three Samohins talk over one another for a moment, smiling and describing that year when Stas honed his skills on roller skates instead of ice blades.

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

||| SPORTS |||

Chief Pragmatist

How two local boys turned a love of sports into business BY NATALIE JACOBS

ameron Weiss and Joe Barkett started a sports agency four football seasons ago. Both from San Diego, they became fast friends over a deep love of sports when Weiss transferred to USC from University of San Diego during his junior year of college. The two were at USC during “the golden years of SC football,” Weiss says, when legends like Pete Carroll, Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart were leading the team. After undergrad, Weiss came back to USD to get a law degree while Barkett got a master’s in business. In the 2013 NFL draft season, Weiss and Barkett’s Empire Athletes took their first players through the draft process, and their roster has been growing ever since. During their second season in business, their now former client, Michael Sam, a defensive end from Missouri, decided to come out as gay while in training camp for the St. Louis Rams. Weiss and Barkett found themselves featured in a New York Times story and interviewed on CNN while their young client was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Is all publicity good publicity for a fledgling company in a highly competitive industry?

36 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

Here, Weiss discusses the impact that “big splash” had on his business, as well as that one time when sports was ahead of the social curve, and how all those hours of watching baseball games and fighting for the sports section may have finally paid off for him.

San Diego Jewish Journal: Were you always mostly interested in football?

Cameron Weiss: Actually baseball was number one for both of us growing up. That was my first love. But football – the reason we started doing football was ... for business purposes, starting a business in baseball is not that easy because you sign a guy when he’s 18 years old, maybe 20, maybe 23 depending where he is in the process – he can be in the minor leagues for four to seven years before he reaches the majors. So that’s not really conducive to getting a young business up and running. Football is a very clear-cut timeline. You sign a player when he’s done with college. You prepare him for the draft; it’s usually a four-month window. And then he gets drafted or signed by a team. At that point, he can become money-making as a professional player.

PHOTO COURTESY KELLY WIHRT AND EMPIRE ATHLETES

Joe Barkett, left, and Cameron Weiss, right, just completed their fourth football season with their sports agency Empire Athletes.

PHOTO COURTESY KELLY WIHRT AND EMPIRE ATHLETES

SDJJ: Does the law degree help with writing the contracts?

CW: If you’re talking about the actual negotiations you’re having with the teams and the contracts you have with the player and team, those are all form contracts – those are pre-negotiated, pre-written out. ... Really the only things that you fight for are length and price, but with rookies, it’s kind of all slotted so you’re really in there trying to break down the language to incur smaller benefits like service time, how early they’re eligible for their pension, benefits, that kind of stuff.

SDJJ: What do you think players are deciding on when picking an agent?

CW: Sometimes it’s the personality – some guys want to spend time with someone that they like, in which case it helps that Joe and I are younger and more relatable to these guys who are 21 to 24 years old. Sometimes they want to see a really established track record of players and what you’ve done with them. In which case, that puts Joe and me at a disadvantage just inherently because we haven’t been around. Some guys want a smaller roster of players with their agencies so they can get more attention. Some guys want a bigger roster of players because they feel like it’s a proving ground.

SDJJ: What happens to the clients who didn’t make it?

CW: It depends. I keep in touch with some of my clients that have been inactive for almost four years. But that’s just the kind of people that Joe and I are. ... We have players in the CFL [Canadian Football League] and the Arena League so they can keep chasing the dream. Some guys just want to stay ready, keep working out, waiting for a team to maybe bring them in for a workout or something like that. It really depends what the guy wants. A good example of that is our first client ever, a kid named Eric Rogers. He went to a small Division Three school called Cal Lutheran. He was the first rookie we ever signed right out of college, right after we started our company, for the 2013 NFL draft. He was an undrafted free agent that year, signed with the Dallas Cowboys, got cut. He ended up playing in the Arena League, then going up to Canada. He ended up getting cut and signed with another team called the Calgary Stampeders. [In mid-January] he signed one of the biggest CFL to NFL deals of all time with the San Francisco 49ers. So we’re obviously really happy about that. It’s just really cool because we stuck with him and he stuck with us through a lot of ups and downs over multiple years. Now, three years after we first signed him, he’s in a really good spot.

SDJJ: What is a typical day like for you?

CW: That’s the great part about this business, there is no typical day. ... Yesterday [late summer, 2015] I got a call at about 3 p.m. that one of my players [Terrance Plummer, who was linebacker for the Washington Redskins when Weiss and I spoke] was going to be promoted from practice squad to active roster. So his old contract had to get ripped up, he had to sign a new one, I had to review that for him. This morning, I wake up, I have calls from media outlets that have heard that maybe he’s going to get promoted. They want to know what’s going on. [Plummer ended the season with the Minnesota Vikings.] It just depends. I’ve got three active guys. We’ve got five guys who just got cut at training camp. We’ve got eight minor league baseball players. We’ve got another four or five guys who’re still, like I said, chasing the dream. So each and every day I’ve got to do something for all of them, and each one of their situations is completely different. I’ve got guys who are hurt, trying to get healthy. I’ve got guys who are on the street trying to get on a team. I’ve got guys on the team worrying about where they’re going to live in the city that they’re in now. You wear a lot of hats and that’s what’s cool about it.

SDJJ: How much do you think all of the attention with Michael Sam helped you as an agent and your business in general? What did you learn from that situation? CW: If nothing else, it really gave Joe and me a big splash early on, especially from a publicity standpoint. It’s not every agent out there that has articles written about them in the New York Times, has a client that’s on the cover of Sports Illustrated in their second year of business. So I think that gave us an instant bump in the PR department, slash a tiny bit of credibility. Ultimately, though, credibility only lasts as long as your track record. We had to back it up. We had to get him the right deals, had to get him the right team. It obviously hasn’t worked out ... the way we wanted it to on the football side, but he’s done nicely for himself off the field. The NFL is a really competitive, highly replaceable game for players. If you’re a guy at the back end of the roster, you have to be earning your deal every single day. If there’s anything that tips the balance against you, it’s going to do you a big disservice. The other part ... when you’ve got a guy who’s one of the most talked about players in that year’s draft, you’re being pushed left and right and having to decide what to do and what not to do. And then the client wants to do certain things and doesn’t want to do other things, so you have to navigate all of that in order to come to a product that is satisfactory for the individual and for yourselves as a business. That’s sort of what you have to do with any high profile player, not just athletes. It is what they want it to be, it is what they make it in terms of their marketing income. So you can’t lose sight of what they want. It’s like where is the happy medium where you are doing what you want to do, what is smart to do, and also makes financial sense for you.

SDJJ: In your four seasons, have you see any changes with the way that the NFL operates, from your side of things?

CW: I think there’s been a lot of positive changes that have taken place over the last year and a half, or two years. I think that the league is starting to put the onus on itself to get up to speed on a lot of issues. It’s not easy. It’s a very interesting microcosm as an industry. Sports at one point were very much ahead of the curve, socially, and I think that at some point they kind of fell behind it. Now that’s sort of being righted again.

SDJJ: How much baseball and football do you watch?

CW: A lot. It’s just so ingrained in me from watching growing up. It’s funny, my mom, G-d rest her soul, she used to get on me big time because I would come straight home and turn on baseball – because baseball games [on the east coast] start [here] at 4. This is before the MLB premium package, where I would watch WGN and get whoever the Cubs were playing. I’d come home from school, I’d turn on the tv and by the end of the 4:00 slate, the Padres would come on. So there was some point before 10 where I needed to get my homework done and get a meal in me. My mom was always on my case about me wasting my time, basically. I like to think that all those aggregate hours built this base of knowledge in me that I still use to this day, so it did go to somewhere.

SDJJ: It’s probably not just watching, but reading about all of the stats?

CW: Yeah, my brother and I literally used to race in the morning – whoever could get up and out the door quickest to run and get the sports section in the Union Tribune. We’d get in physical fights over it so my dad had to make alternating days for who got the sports section first. A

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 37

SIMCHAS Let the Planning Begin San Diego Jewish Journal’s annual Simchas Resource Guide INTRODUCTION WRITTEN AND LISTINGS COMPILED BY TINA B. ESHEL, PHOTOS COURTESY BESA UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED

n our family, the question of whether or not to have a Bar Mitzvah has weighed heavy on our minds this past year, as my freshly 13-year-old son is opposed to the idea of a big bash. His father is Catholic, and I am Jewish-by-Choice. He says he doesn’t want to feel forced to choose. The story goes deeper than just confusion about his identity or religion. He’s not one to take the stage, unlike his former 3-year-old self who loved to climb upon the bimah at our synagogue. All that attention now, just the idea of it, makes him very uncomfortable. What he does find palatable is something modest, such as getting called up to the Torah, saying a few words and celebrating with family and synagogue friends sharing a meal. The reticence he displays isn’t uncommon. There are an estimated 1.8 billion youths in the world and many cultures have some rite of passage to acknowledge what it means to become grown up. By and large, our Jewish rite of passage is awesome when you consider the other options. In Ethiopia, for example, some young men have to jump over a castrated bull four times, naked, before they are considered a man and can marry, and in Venuatu, a small island nation in the South Pacific, young boys jump off high towers up to 98 feet tall with only a bungee-like vine tied to their ankles. Given a choice, leading a synagogue service and having a party seems like a fine alternative to jumping off a bridge or over a large ungulate. Milestones are special because they don’t happen every day, and celebrating them is part of our Jewish heritage. That’s why I’m not sure I’m a fan of the Keep-It-Simple stance – sometimes less is more, but sometimes more is called for. As someone who didn’t have a Bat Mitzvah, I read with nostalgic envy an article by Beth Ain of Kveller/JTA, “In Defense of the Big Fat Bar/Bat Mitzvah Party.” Ain is a children’s book author, creator of the “Starring Jules” chapter book series. As she explains in the article, she is about to embark on planning her child’s Bat Mitzvah, 18 months ahead of the game. She speaks fondly of her own party. Beyond the tacky 1980s decorations, what mattered most to her were her relatives at the party. All of them, “dancing 38 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

and smiling and smelling like themselves – cologne and maybe hints of cigar on some, [liquor] and red lipstick on others. “So many of them are gone. My grandparents, my great-aunts and uncles and now, even my own maternal uncle, who played his guitar on the bimah after the Havdalah service was over, and whose presence that day and later at my various graduations and my wedding was important and the memories lasting.” I understand my son’s hesitation since our family is quite small, and half are not Jewish. Why would he want what Ain refers to as a “wedding for a 13-year-old?” Then again, your situation may be quite different. Maybe the party’s on for you and now you’re contemplating just how big you can go without incurring finger wags and tongue clicks. This is a celebration, and in a world of more bad news, isn’t it nice to gather together and honor another child being called to the bimah and to read from the Torah? When else might you be able to gather entire generations, your family from across the country, even from Israel, to be present together in one time and space? From catering to entertainment, we’ve done some of the homework to help with the party planning. Regardless if your guest list is 10, 100 or even 500, we hope you’ll find unique vendors and new ideas to fit into your unique budget. The coming-of-age ritual is usually our focus in this annual resource guide, but we’ve added wedding information into the mix this year. In the following section you’ll also meet a wedding planner in Israel and a local artist who specializes in custom ketubahs. Most local event planners and photogrphers would also love to talk to you about your wedding. For the Bar/Bat Mitzvah listings, we worked closely with the local Bar/ Bat Mitzvah Event Services Association, BESA, so, like usual, you’ll see their members marked with B next to their names. In the catering section, Kosher caterers are marked with K .

VENUES B Hilton Garden Inn San Diego/Del Mar 3939 Ocean Bluff Ave. hiltongardeninndelmar.com (858) 720-9500 Capacity: up to 150 Room cost: food and beverage minimum of $2,500 gets free room rental Advance booking recommended: anytime, but book by June 15, and the hotel will offer a complimentary chocolate fountain with two dipping items, enough for 35 Outside catering allowed: Only for ethnic requirements, but per-person fee is applied B Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines

10950 North Torrey Pines Rd. hiltonlajollatorreypines.com (858) 558-1500 Capacity: up to 1,000 Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: Yes, but only for special food requests. Hilton San Diego Bayfront 1 Park Blvd. hiltonsandiegobayfront.com (619) 321-4211 Capacity: up to 2,400 Room cost: varies, call for quote Advance booking recommended: one year Outside catering allowed: No, Kosher catering available in-house Hilton San Diego/Del Mar 15575 Jimmy Durante Blvd. sandiegodelmar.hilton.com (858) 764-6044 Capacity: up to 400 Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: six months Outside catering allowed: Only if dietary restrictions are required Homewood Suites by Hilton San Diego-Del Mar 11025 Vista Sorrento Parkway (858) 523-0500 Capacity: up to 90 Room cost: varies by event date and requirements Advance booking recommended: book early to save up to 15 percent Outside catering allowed: No, except for kosher events Hornblower Cruises 1800 N. Harbor Dr. hornblower.com

(619) 686-8700 Capacity: 10-1,000 Room cost: price varies with custom options Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: No

Hotel Del Coronado 1500 Orange Ave. hoteldel.com

(619) 435-6611 Capacity: up to 1,100 Room cost: food and beverage minimums on top of room rental charges Advance booking recommended: at least one year Outside catering allowed: No

B Hyatt Regency La Jolla at Aventine 3777 La Jolla Village Drive lajolla.hyatt.com

(858) 552-6025 Capacity: up to 650 Room cost: $50-200 per person Advance booking recommended: one year Outside catering allowed: Yes Maderas Golf Club 17750 Old Coach Rd. maderasgolf.com

(858) 451-8100 Call for quote and details

B Parq Restaurant & Nightclub 615 Broadway, San Diego parqsd.com

(619) 727-6789 Capacity: up to 850 reception, 250 dinner Room cost: venue rental fee depends on group size and day of the week Advance booking recommended: 3 months Outside catering allowed: Not usually, but exceptions for kosher catering

B Party Pals 10427 Roselle St. partypals.com

(858) 622-6613 Capacity: up to 1,000 (inside and/or outside space available) Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: extremely busy through summer, starting in May. Recommended six months in advance Outside catering allowed: Yes San Diego Botanic Garden 230 Quail Gardens Dr. sdbgarden.org

(760) 436-3036 Capacity: 30-300 Room cost: $550-1900 Advance booking recommended: 15 months Outside catering allowed: No, but exceptions can be made for Kosher requirements Adar I â&#x20AC;˘ Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

VENUES B San Diego Marriott Del Mar 11966 El Camino Real

B Sheraton Carlsbad Resort & Spa 5480 Grand Pacific Dr.

Tango Del Rey 3567 Del Rey Street

marriott.com/hotels/travel/sandm-sandiego-marriott-del-mar

sheratoncarlsbad.com

tangodelrey.com

(760) 827-2414 Capacity: 300-500 Room cost: no room reservation cost, only charged for food and beverage to be consumed Advance booking recommended: six months to one year, but flexible Outside catering allowed: No

(858) 794-9044 Capacity: 150 Room cost: call for quote Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: No Kosher-style available

Sheraton La Jolla 3299 Holiday Ct.

The New Children’s Museum 200 West Island Ave.

sheratonlajolla.com

thinkplaycreate.org

(858) 453-5500 Capacity: up to 130 Room cost: varies Advance booking recommended: yes Outside catering allowed: no

(619) 233-8792 Capacity: 1,000 Room cost: $2,500-6,500 Advance booking recommended: availability varies

B Sheraton San Diego Hotel and Marina 1380 Harbor Island Dr.

B UCSD Faculty Club 9500 Gillman Drive, #0121

sheraton.com/sandiegomarina

facclub.ucsd.edu

(619) 692-2702 Capacity: 50-1500 Room cost: consultation required Advance booking recommended: at least one month Outside catering allowed: No

(858) 534-5450 Capacity: call for info Room cost: call for info Advance booking recommended: call for info Outside catering allowed: call for info

(858) 523-1700 Capacity: 120-420 Room cost: varies by event date and requirements Advance booking recommended: depends on the season desired Outside catering allowed: Yes

B San Diego Marriott – La Jolla

4240 La Jolla Village Drive marriottlajolla.com

(858) 597-6384 Capacity: groups of 80-700 Room cost: $25-60 per person plus tax and service charge Advance booking recommended: short term up to a year and a half out Outside catering allowed: only if full kosher is need

B San Diego Marriott Mission Valley

8757 Rio San Diego Dr.

marriott.com/hotels/travel/sanmv-sandiego-marriott-mission-valley

(619) 692-3800 Capacity: 150-550 Room cost: food and beverage minimums only, depend on day of week Advance booking recommended: as soon as possible Outside catering allowed: Yes San Diego Zoo 2920 Zoo Drive

B Stoneridge Country Club

17166 Stoneridge Country Club Lane stoneridgeclub.com

(858) 487-2138 Capacity: up to 300 Room cost: consultation required Advance booking recommended: Yes Outside catering allowed: Call for info

The Westin Gaslamp Quarter 910 Broadway Circle westingaslamp.com

(619) 239-2200 Capacity: 100-600 Room cost: call for a quote Advance booking recommended: as far out as possible but availability is very flexible Outside catering allowed: Yes

sandiegozoo.org/catering

(619) 685-3223 Call for quote and details

TRADITION, TRADITION

Kids-only parties are on the way out, says BESA co-chairs Patricia Del Rio and Lydia Krasner. The pair say intergenerational celebrations are more fun, and parents don’t want to plan two or more parties anymore. Family, children, and out-of-town guests are back together in one happy simcha.

IT’S A CASUAL AFFAIR

Parties are becoming less structured and more informal. “Farm table family style is big. When you serve family style, it’s like going grandma’s for dinner,” Krasner says. “All the food, instead of being on individual plates, they’re on platters and people pass them.” It’s more conducive to people getting to know one another, they say.

40 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

SWEETS STATIONS

From candy bars to s’mores stations, fanciful desserts hit the sweet spot. The latest crazes include gelato and donuts. Bonus: sweets stations don’t cost a lot, and they up the fun factor while offering guests variety. “You don’t want to go outside the box with the food entrée,” Del Rio says, “but you can go way outside the box with dessert.”

ENTERTAINMENT

With photo booths, games, and bling, entertainment takes center stage this year. The DJ is always critical, but he or she isn’t the only source of fun – what’s especially hot is to have entertainment during the meal, such as a magician or mentalist. Kids love green screens, interactive photography, henna and even chances to dress up with wigs, charms, feathers, and hats.

A DAY

ANY OTHER

AT A PLACE UNLIKE ANY OTHER

Touched by fresh ocean breezes, adorned by a luxurious resort setting and walking distance to Chabad at La Costa, Omni La Costa Resort & Spa is the perfect location to celebrate any special occasion. With a variety of indoor and outdoor venues perfect for any gathering, and kosher options

OmniHotels.com/LaCosta

available, our team will help you make your event one to remember.

Adar I â&#x20AC;˘ Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 41

2009 Winner Best Deli

• 134 Great Sandwiches & Burgers • Pastrami • Blintzes • Lox • Chopped Liver • Matzo Ball Soup • Rugalach • Other Delicious Desserts

You bring the traditions. We’ll cater to them. Begin the journey here. Catering to your distinct preferences, our premiere setting and culinary choices provide exclusivity for your celebration. To plan your next event, or for more information, contact our Event Professionals at:

restaurant • delicatessen • bakery • fountain

Hyatt Regency La Jolla AT AVENTINE 858.552.1234 x2107 or visit lajolla.hyatt.com

6930 ALvARADO ROAD (I-8 at 70th Street) SAn DIeGO • 619/265-0218

Sunday-Thursday 7 am-9 pm • Friday & Saturday 7 am - 10 pm.

www.dzakinsdeli.com

Love is in the details! So you can enjoy your special day

Design Production Decor

Mitzvah Event

Productions

LYDIA KRASNER 619.548.3485 www.MitzvahEvent.com lydia@mitzvahevent.com 42 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

member of

sales@sdjewishjournal.com www.sdjewishjournal.com

shirley@ssinvitations.com

✓

It’s MORE than just a magazine. It’s a LIfEstyLE CaLL Ronnie Weisberg 858.638.9818

EVENT PLANNERS At Your Side

I Do... Weddings and Events

atyoursideplanning.com

sdweddingplanner.com

(619) 322-7084 Years in business: 12

(858) 405-7244 Years in business: 13

Bliss Events

B Mitzvah Event Productions

blissevent.com

mitzvahevent.com

(619) 252-1058 Years in business: 12

(619) 548-3485 Years in business: 21

Brilliant Event Design brillianteventdesign.com

(305) 588-2761 Years in business: 4 Events by Gisele eventsbygisele.com

(858) 531-3181 Years in business: 8

B The Party Link thepartylink.net (619) 464-3800 Years in business: 17 B Sherrill Kinsler/RSVP Events rsvpsdevents.com

(858) 647-1644 Years in business: 22

First Comes Love Weddings and Events firstcomeslovesd.com

(619) 501-1695 Years in business: 8

Capture the Moments

4805 Mercury St. • Suite L • San Diego, CA 92111

Trusted in the Jewish Community since 1983 Bar/Bat Mitzvahs | Weddings | Photography | Videography deography | Photo Montag Montage t e tag

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

One Israeli wedding planner helps out-of-towners have a celebration in the homeland SUBMITTED BY NATALIE ABRAHAM

1. HIRE VS. DO IT YOURSELF If you have the time and skill, you can surely plan your event on your own. Gather recommendations for vendors from people you know and trust; Google and Pinterest are filled with endless creative ideas and crafts great for all kind of events. Nevertheless, I still highly recommend that you select a group of helpers to take care of certain tasks on the day/week of the event, so you don’t have all the stress and responsibilities on your shoulders. With the right planner, you’ll have someone to take the stress out of all the little details, by helping with contracts and negotiations. 2. FIND THE PERFECT VENUE This is the decision that usually takes the longest to organize. There are so many striking venues to look into in Israel, and it doesn’t stop at event halls. Exotic landscapes of desert, forest, beach, ruins, and city are all enchanting choices for your event, and just a short ride away from Tel Aviv, where your guests will arrive to. When selecting the perfect venue, inquire about important factors, like music or time limitations, Kosher certifications, business licenses, ability to out-source vendors, and guest count requirements. 3. VENDOR SELECTION Your choice of vendors will play a critical role in the outcome of your event. If you haven’t booked an event planner, it would be an advantage to be in touch with someone who has previously organized an event in Israel to collect vendor referrals and recommendations. Take caution when choosing a random vendor from the Internet (I wouldn’t recommend that, if you can avoid it). 4. PICK A SEASON A summer event certainly has its charm of sun, outdoor spaces, sandals, and light dresses. Choosing the winter season to have an event

44 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

in Israel, though, could also be a great option, especially for discounted packages. Winter in Israel doesn’t necessarily mean cold and many winter months (November-March) see sunny days. Consider southern cities such as Eilat for a higher guarantee of sun. 5. PICKING THE RIGHT DATE Picking a date to suit your family in Israel and your family abroad is sometimes not the easiest of tasks. Take into consideration school holidays, national holidays, Jewish holidays, half terms, bank holidays and all the other holidays in between. If you are opting for a weekend out of central Israel or a celebration spanning a few days, it may be good to check the work schedules of your close relatives. 6. NOT ON PAPER, NOT GUARANTEED This point is so important. Everything, and I mean every little detail that is agreed upon with the venue or vendors should be in writing. Include all the small things they promise to “throw in” to your package. On average, there are approximately six months between the time you sign your contracts and the actual event date. You will be surprised at how often people “forget” what was discussed all those months ago. 7. ASK ABOUT HIDDEN FEES I find that a popular question people remember to ask is “what does the price include?” but they forget to ask “what is not included in the price?” It’s a small twist of words that sometimes makes a big difference. If you have a planner, she should have many tips and information for you during this significant stage of closing contracts. If you are planning the event yourself, do some research on the important questions to ask each vendor. 8. COMPARING COSTS There was once a time when celebrating your event in Israel was far less expensive than celebrating back

home. You can certainly arrange events in Israel on budgets but on average, the extraordinary venues and vendors are pricy. You also have additional destination event costs to take into consideration including hotels and guests transportation. 9. GUESTS SUPPORT AND PAMPERING If you have a group coming from abroad, I highly recommend setting up a blog or event website where they can find recommendations for group hotels, restaurants, not-to-be-missed places to go, things to do, the event itinerary, group activities before and after the main event, things to pack, weather forecast and more. 10. RABBINICAL PROCEDURES You will need to open a file at the Rabbanut within 90 days prior to the wedding, and I would recommend doing so as early as possible. If you have a planner, she can apply online for you and send in your documentation. You will need to arrange a letter from your hometown (Orthodox) rabbi confirming that you are both Jewish and single, as well as the ketubah (marriage certificate) from both the bride and groom’s parents. Upon your arrival in Israel, you will need to go to the Rabbanut offices to finalize the file and collect your own ketubah. Now all that’s left to say is mazel tov and happy planning! A Natalie Abraham at Dreamcatcher events is a UKborn wedding and event planner in Israel and is considered one of the best wedding/bar/bat mitzvah planners in Israel. Her trademark is in her personal and attentive service, and the fine detail that makes every event a UNIQUE and unforgettable experience. Learn more about her work at natalieabrahamdreamcatcher.com.

PHOTOS COURTESY NATALIE ABRAHAM

10 Things to Know When PLANNING A SIMCHA IN ISRAEL

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Modernizing an Ancient Tradition KETUBAH BY JOSH JACOBS

with Flair BY NATALIE JACOBS

etubahs are part of an ancient tradition whereby a man signs something of a code of conduct for the marriage. Though the specifics there may seem outdated to modern couples, the tradition is still carried out with a few updates. The documents tend to be more egalitarian, similar to the wedding vows taken during the official ceremony. And the visuals take center stage. At least if Josh Jacobs is involved. The local artist has been creating custom ketubahs for Jewish couples since 2007. Curious to know more about the modernization of this idea, I asked him a few questions.

SDJJ: How did you come to design ketubahs? Josh Jacobs: The first ketubah I created was for my cousin. While both he and his fiancé are Jewish, they came from very different backgrounds. They wanted something that blended their identities visually, using my style of design, so we incorporated both Asian and Jewish imagery.

SDJJ: Do you work with each couple on the text or just the visuals? JJ: Usually the couple provides their text, but the layout is often a challenge. Most of the time, I work with the client to piece together the correct language. I can generally get the Hebrew letters placed into the art, but then my wife goes through the text to re-arrange letter by letter until it all reads perfectly.

SDJJ: How long is the process? JJ: The process really depends on what the clients want, but even a simple

piece can take a couple months from the initial request. I design each one from scratch to bring the couples’ vision to life. Sometimes that means spending hours on a tiny little illustration of a fairy that is hidden in the trees, taking up no more than a half inch on the final piece.

SDJJ: Have there been efforts to modernize the tradition? JJ: Modernizing the tradition is the whole idea behind Truly Custom Ketubahs. I believe that so many people have never thought of going outside the lines of what ketubahs have been traditionally, or even beyond choosing a pre-made design from a Judaica store. I like to think of the ones I create as the couples’ very own concert poster. There is no limit to what we can create for a couples’ special day. Each piece is truly one of a kind.

SDJJ: Have you ever been surprised by a couple's requzests? JJ: I do get funny requests of things to add in. I did a ketubah for friends and they wanted a Homer Simpson face and a Los Angeles Lakers logo hidden in the art. Another couple wanted my art to look hand painted, so after drawing it all on the computer, I printed it out, traced it with pen and ink, then brought it back into the computer to trace the ink and pen digitally. The challenge of adding all these personal details is what I love so much about it. That, and being a part of such a special moment in two people’s lives. A For more info about Josh Jacobs, contact him at joshua@j7creative.com or visit trulycustomketubahs.com.

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

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Photography B Aaron Huniu Photography aaronhuniuphotography.com

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(619) 822-0456 Services: photography 48 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

PHOTOS COURTESY KEVIN VINER

agic and mentalism are fascinating, and sometimes a little freaky. Kevin Viner, a local performer who has appeared on television and counts Qualcomm, Toyota, Taylor-Made, JP Morgan Chase and The Walt Disney Company as clients, explains that magic and mentalism come from the same root, a desire to entertain with the impossible. “Magic is typically thought of as more sleight of hand and illusion ... and mentalism is more cerebral-telekinesis, telepathy, seeing the future,” he says. “Everything that I do has a natural explanation, even when it seems completely unlikely or even impossible.” His goal is to take you on a journey through the seemingly the improbable. He keeps his act fresh for the younger audience by performing

what he calls “strolling magic.” “Typically, I perform close-up magic and mind-reading at a Mitzvah … I work out of my coat pockets with cards, coins, money, and people’s thoughts. I also take people’s watches off their wrist, and occasionally let people in on some small secrets! “Kids also want to follow me from group to group to ‘catch me,’ so I have to maintain a huge repertoire and often have multiple methods for what looks like the same performance. That’s part of the fun of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah.” These days, he travels all over the country but still makes time for time for milestone celebrations. “Word of mouth travels pretty quickly when people see the quality of the work. At my peak, I probably did one to two each week. Today, my

schedule books up pretty quickly, and I’m more selective about which events are the best fits, so I’m down to probably 25-30 per year. When I can’t personally perform, I always do everything in my power to recommend another quality performer.” Viner says magic is universal, transcending age, language, and cultural barriers. “When I perform, I always reserve the cocktail reception as a time to perform for the adults at the party. The kids will get their entertainment when the adults sit down for dinner. There aren’t many entertainers, nor types of entertainment, that can thoroughly entertain the adults as well. With the wide range of ages at a Mitzvah, this is very important. It brings everybody together, and isn’t that really what it’s all about?” For more info, visit kevinvinermagic.com. $ Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 49

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||| TRAVEL |||

Tragedy to Triumph

from

A San Diego family explores the Jewish community in Argentina BY SHARON ROSEN LEIB

eadly Iranian sponsored Hezbollah terrorism; stunning Andean beauty; Eichmann and Mengele; Patagonia’s “hummus trail;” Nazi hunters; Jewish leaders; European sophistication; a thriving, 250,000-strong Jewish community – the world’s seventh largest. All these pieces fit into Argentina’s puzzle. Don’t cry for this country – go visit. We did in December and had the family vacation of a lifetime. Two things brought us to Argentina: our middle daughter’s decision to spend a semester studying in Buenos Aires and the appointment of my husband’s friend Noah Mamet as United States Ambassador. Argentina’s vast size makes a quick visit unconscionable – too much to see, learn and experience in anything less than 10 days. Plus, with no direct flights available, travel time from San Diego to Buenos Aires totals at least 17 hours. We drove to Los Angeles, where we flew American Airlines to Sao Paolo, Brazil, and then TAM Airlines to Buenos Aires. Travel during our winter vacation means visiting South America during its summer months – the priciest of times. However, what we lost in dollars we made up for in temperate weather. Patagonia becomes too frigid to tour during Argentina’s fall/winter months (April-September). We had a brief initial stay in Buenos Aires, where we boned up on the current political situation. Argentina’s newly-elected, center-right

President Mauricio Macri is pro-business, proUnited States, pro-Semitic and appointed Jewish Community Leader/Rabbi Sergio Bergman to be his minister of environment. Macri’s recent devaluation of the Argentine peso (the U.S. dollar’s official value increased by approximately 27 percent) makes now a propitious time to visit. We also got recommendations for the best places to eat (think thick grass-fed steaks, fresh trout and smoked salmon), drink (divine domestic red wines) and go clubbing (our three daughters loved the Buenos Aires party-on-until-5 a.m. culture). Argentinians follow a late-to-bed, late-to-rise lifestyle. Restaurants don’t open for dinner until 8 p.m. and nightclubs don’t start hopping until 1 a.m. I opted to narrow our trip down to Buenos Aires and Northern Patagonia’s Lake District (after a friend described it as Lake Tahoe on steroids). This meant missing out on famous natural wonder Iguazú Falls, the world-renowned wine regions of Mendoza and Southern Patagonia’s breathtaking glaciers and national parks. There’s always next time(s). Situated at the base of the Andes and brimming with Alpine-like charm, Bariloche and environs proved a wise choice. A variety of outdoor activities including river rafting, zip-lining, boating and hiking provided plenty of opportunity to exercise and enjoy the chill mountain air. The town square consists of Bavarian-style log buildings surrounding a plaza across from the broad, navy

expanse of Lake Nahuel Huapi. During Argentina’s nation-building phase from 1860-1920, the government opened immigration offices all over Europe to recruit people to populate and work the land. Italians, Swiss and Germans answered the call and colonized the Lake District, reminiscent of their native countries’ Alpine regions. The Germans brought Munich to Bariloche. After World War II, many Nazis fled to this homey Latin American hamlet. Their landsmen greeted them with chocolates, beer steins and a loyal code of silence. Nazi Angel of Death Josef Mengele and Final Solution architect Adolf Eichmann both found temporary refuge in Bariloche after fleeing Europe. As we paddled down the remote, peaceful Manso River, our guide Juara startled us out of our natural bliss when she said Hitler and Eva Braun sightings abounded in the region for decades. Rumor has it the couple faked their suicides and escaped Germany to live quietly in a compound outside of Bariloche. When I interviewed Sergio Widder, the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee’s (JDC) new Director for Latin America and former Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center’s Latin American Office, he dismissed the Hitler rumors as fantasy. In a contemporary display of age-old Jewish resilience, young Israelis have made themselves known in Bariloche. Israeli flags fly from the windows of the ski resort’s numerous youth Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

Previous page: views of the ocean and city life in Bariloche, where the author spent the majority of her family vacation to Argentina. Pictured above on the left: the Templo Libertad, that country’s largest synagogue. On the right: art by Israel’s Yaacov Agam, commissioned for the site of a devastating bombing in 1994.

hostels. Signs written in Hebrew adorn restaurant and store windows. I even spotted Hebrew on a freezer case at the peak of Cerro Campanario, a popular hiking spot, listing the types of popsicles for sale. Every year, thousands of fresh-out-of-themilitary Israelis trek through South America seeking escapist adventure. These 20-somethings like to congregate in Bariloche, a favorite stop along their “hummus trail.” Thus, in a 70-year span, the Bavarian-inspired city has transformed from a Nazi hideout to a place of Israeli respite. Call it karmic justice. We left our cozy lakeside rental in Bariloche to settle into a stylish apartment in Buenos Aires I found on VRBO. Little did I know our rental on Calle Arroyo was located half a block away from the site of the 1992 Israeli embassy bombing that killed 29 and injured 242, most of whom were Argentinian civilians. The victims included many children due to the Embassy’s location across from a Catholic school. Iranian-sponsored Hezbollah jihadis claimed responsibility for the attack – the deadliest ever on an Israeli diplomatic mission. Ariela Bodner, the guide for our half-day tour of Jewish Buenos Aires, explained the symbolism of the open-air memorial plaza built on the site of the once elegant, French neoclassical style Israeli Embassy. Twenty-two trees and seven benches represent the 29 victims. A plaque inscribed in both Spanish and Hebrew memorializes the tragedy and the victims’ names. When we visited, several homeless men slept on cardboard in the shade provided by the memorial trees as tourists milled about – an incongruous scene emblematic of Argentina’s many dramatic dualities. We next visited Asociación Mutual Israelita Argentina (AMIA) the site of the devastating 1994 terrorist bombing that killed 85 people and injured more than 300. The Jewish maxim “Never again!” applies full force at AMIA, a major Jewish community center. Visiting this site requires advance planning – all foreign visitors’ passport numbers must be submitted at least a week ahead of 54 SDJewishJournal.com | March 2016

time. Only a handful of guides have authorization to bring visitors. AMIA, now protected by concrete street barricades, also requires visitors to show their passports, pass through a metal detector and submit all bags to be searched – the tightest security we experienced in Argentina. Argentina’s Jewish community chose to rebuild AMIA in the same location, although some of the victims’ relatives opposed this decision. “Our community wanted to say we are here again standing on our feet and stronger than ever. You can’t destroy us,” Bodner said. Indeed, the new AMIA building, dedicated in 1998, is double the original’s size. Famed Israeli artist Yaacov Agam created a powerful visual monument, a succession of nine pillars incorporating Jewish symbols, paying homage to the bombing victims. Agam’s rainbow-hued installation dominates AMIA’s central courtyard. Inside the contemporary, sunlit building, the kinetic energy of Buenos Aires Jewry feels palpable. The building houses more than 300 employees working for Jewish organizations including the Anti-Defamation League, DAIA (the political arm of Argentina’s Jewish community) and Jewish Family Service, among others. The government’s investigation into the heinous AMIA bombing remains open more than 20 years later, beset by corruption, incompetence and the treacherous murder last year of Alberto Nisman, the lead prosecutor investigating the case. Argentina’s Jewish community tirelessly continues to advocate for justice. Edy Huberman, Executive Director of Argentina’s Fundación Judaica, told me, “We’ll always remember what we were doing when we heard Nisman was killed and we’ll never allow the government to forget the crime.” President Macri has promised to move the investigation forward and hold the perpetrators accountable. Next stop on the tour was Templo Libertad, the crown jewel of Buenos Aires’ synagogues. For 150 years, this congregation has represented the historic strength of Argentina’s Jews. A fine example of

neoclassical architecture, the building houses the offices of Fundación Judaica, the umbrella organization Rabbi Bergman founded in 1995 to unite Argentina’s disparate Jewish communities in a show of strength after the AMIA bombing, as well as the Jewish Museum of Buenos Aires. Templo Libertad belongs to the World Union of Progressive Judaism and offers both traditional and egalitarian services. When I met with Huberman, he invited us to attend Libertad’s egalitarian evening Shabbat Service at 7:30 p.m. on New Year’s Day. I expected a small crowd due to the holiday, but as the congregants trickled in – from babes in strollers to grandparents – the numbers grew. A mother played a keyboard with her pre-teen son alongside her keeping the beat on hand drums and a collegeaged woman strummed a guitar. All three joined in ethereal, Ladino harmonies creating one of the most musically beautiful services we’ve ever attended. Argentina’s Jews have so many compelling stories to tell about their connections to Pope Francis, Jewish gauchos (cowboys), the traitorous Timerman and their desaparecidos (disappeared). Go see and hear for yourself their tales of tragedy and triumph. Argentina is calling. A TOUR GUIDES: Ariela Bodner, arielabodner@hotmail.com; Mario Braun, fmbraun@fibertel.com.ar DINING: Mishiguene – Israeli/Argentinian fusion with the tagline “kitchen of immigrants,” mishiguene.com L’Orangerie – located in the elegant, divine Sunday brunch and elegant afternoon tea. The hotel also has a kosher kitchen, alvearpalace.com Kosher McDonald’s – the only one outside Israel.

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||| THEATER |||

The U.S. Open Comes to San Diego Well, sort of.

PHOTOS BY JIM COX

BY PAT LAUNER

ou are hereby invited to take a courtside seat at the U.S. Open – and you don’t have to travel to New York. The fierce tennis competition is coming to you, in the world premiere of “The Last Match,” at The Old Globe until March 13. Playwright Anna Ziegler didn’t have to do much research on the ins and outs of tennis. She was a club player from age 8 to 18, and is a lifelong tennis fan. As a devotee and native New Yorker, she’s attended the U.S. Open close to 10 times. “The game is very rich metaphorically,” Ziegler said by phone from the Brooklyn home she shares with her lawyer husband and their 2-year-old son. “There are many parallels with life. Injustice, for instance. It’s the one sport where you can actually win more points than your opponent and still lose the match. But you also have the opportunity to start again. 56 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

“It’s incredibly psychological,” she continues. “You’re out there on your own, an island – as in life – moving through it on your own. Well, in singles tennis, anyway.” Like her play’s ruling world champ, Tim, Ziegler was approaching age 33 when she wrote “The Last Match.” “Andy Roddick was retiring at that time,” she says of the World Number One pro who became a Grand Slam singles champion when he won the title at the 2003 U.S. Open. “We’re about the same age. And it was this recognition of mortality that inspired the play. Tim has a bit of Roddick and [Roger] Federer in him.” Federer, at age 34, is still one of the top-ranked tennis players in the world. The recent Australian Open marked the 45th time that Federer went up against Novak Djokovic, age 28. (Djokovic beat him in the semifinals). “There’s a little bit of Djokovic in my Sergei,”

Ziegler says of her young, 20-something, Russian contender. “I wanted to write a really colorful character. The differences in the world view and perspective on life and death emerged while I was writing. The Russian characters [Sergei and his girlfriend, Galina] really need to embrace life. Americans [like Tim and his wife, Mallory] need to accept and embrace death. They’re opposite vantage points, but they’re all stuck. They can’t go forward unless they make changes.” As the play jumps back and forth in time, and between the thoughts and conversations of the players and the couples, it becomes clear that the women are facing crises in their own sense of identity and mortality. It’s no coincidence that, at the time she was creating “The Last Match,” Ziegler was pregnant with her first child. “There’s this intentional parallel between Mallory and Tim, each ‘retiring’ from the life that they’ve known – he from tennis and she

PHOTO COURTESY ANNA ZIEGLER

Anna Ziegler, playwright

into motherhood,” says Ziegler. “I wanted all the characters to have an intense relationship with their bodies. Body consciousness and awareness are not just about professional athletes. Mallory, who’s been through unsuccessful pregnancy after pregnancy, feels that her body is betraying her. For different reasons, her husband feels the same way about his. All the characters want to have control over their bodies, which is a way to have control over their lives. But it’s impossible to achieve.” The play also tackles issues of fathers and sons. “Sergei has to learn to be a child without parents,” Ziegler explains, “and Tim has to learn to be a parent and deal with the loss of being a child. Both are coming to terms with loss, though they had opposite experiences. The play also touches on the issue of why we do these obsessive things [like professional sports]. To please our parents? To impress our children? We’re often not doing these things for ourselves.” Multiple levels and layers As you can tell, although we closely follow the semifinal points and scores, “The Last Match” is about a whole lot more than tennis. There are issues of life choices and priorities; self-doubt and self-identity; parenthood, ambition, competition and the pursuit of happiness. “Is there any stopping what we want,” Ziegler asks rhetorically. “Doing anything to achieve a goal is not unique to sports. I could certainly relate as an artist. This is about any ambition. Never being satisfied, no matter what level of achievement you reach.” To illustrate, Ziegler quotes her heavily accented Russian character, Sergei: “When I went pro, I thought it would be something if one day I could crack top 20. I thought: That is all I need to do to be happy in this life. It will mean I’ve fulfilled my goals and my hard work will have paid off. But that is the thing – I’m not happy. I have to crack top 10. And when I do, I will need to be better than that. It will go on forever.” “I’m exploring the artistic life as much as the athletic,” Ziegler concedes. “If I went into the writing of this play with anything, it was

this sense of never being satisfied. Can you be Number One in your world and still not feel that you’ve made it? The play’s issues apply to parenthood, too. Our expectations, how it changes the way we see ourselves. In the week after my son was born, I felt very keenly where I stood in the cycle of life. It was a true reckoning with mortality; my first inkling of it. “People put themselves through a lot to do what they love. The competition aspect is also both artistic and athletic. As Sergei says, you have to pretend to smile and shake hands with your opponent even though you want to kill him. Any artist can relate to that: being keenly jealous of someone else’s success when you deserve it, too. And like an athlete, your career is very up and down and uncertain.” Another issue addressed in the play is celebrity. “It’s always a double-edged sword,” Ziegler

Brooklyn born and bred Ziegler’s grandparents were born in the U.S., but her ancestry is Russian, Hungarian and German. She had a secular Jewish upbringing she describes as “enthusiastically Reform.” She was Bat Mitzvahed at 13 and, still living in the same neighborhood where she grew up, she attends the same synagogue, where her son is in a toddler program. Her parents are both attorneys, as is one of her brothers. But she was a writer for as long as she can remember. From first to 12th grade, she attended Saint Ann’s, an arts-oriented, non-denominational private school in Brooklyn (no Catholic affiliation, despite the name). Later, she was to teach in a Jewish Day School, in Maryland. “I loved teaching there and would’ve continued beyond two years,” Ziegler says, “but I got my first New York production and had to leave for that. I had never been in a community of just Jews; that felt unique to me.” She taught English there (as she did, over the years, at the junior high, high school and college level); that’s what she majored in at Yale. After graduation, she went abroad for a year, obtaining a Master’s degree in Poetry from the University of East Anglia (“a big writing school”). She had taken playwriting classes at Yale and was encouraged in that direction. So, she returned to the States to pursue an MFA in dramatic writing from the prestigious NYU Tisch School of the Arts. Though she stopped writing poetry, there are elements of her training in her work. A quote from Tennyson’s “Ulysses” serves as an introduction to “The Last Match.” But the play’s themes made me think more of A.E. Housman’s “To An Athlete Dying Young.” Ziegler does see the poetry in “The Last Match.” “I found it very musical. It has a rhythm to it, a kind of musical drive, that made it fun to write. A lot of it is about language, which is the kind of play I like to write. Plot is not the most important thing to me; but having characters like Sergei, who really enjoy talking, is really fun and satisfying for me. I also like to find new ways to convey the passage of time in my work. I like to play around with time theatrically. I enjoy the freedom of that.” She also often has Jewish characters or themes in her plays. None of that here, but there is one mention of “elderly Jews in Miami.” “That was a little shoutout to my grandfather,”

“There’s this intentional parallel between Mallory and Tim, each ‘retiring’ from the life that they’ve known – he from tennis and she into motherhood,” says Ziegler. says. “It’s very gratifying to become known in your community. But with increased visibility comes higher stakes. I was never more terrified than waiting for the reviews in London.” She’s talking about her highest-profile production to date: “Photograph 51,” about Rosalind Franklin, an English Jewish scientist whose seminal work (though largely relegated to the dustbin of history) led to the description of the DNA double helix. The play got excellent reviews and Ziegler is now working on a screen adaptation. In the “West End,” the lead role was played by Nicole Kidman, making her first return to the stage in 17 years. “It was incredible that she signed on,” Ziegler says. “She went out of her way to be very kind to me and my family. She seemed like a very kind – as well as a very talented – person.” You could say Ziegler meets that description, too. She is soft-spoken and contemplative, and her well-received, often lyrical plays have covered a lot of philosophical turf. Perhaps some of that has to do with her background in poetry.

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | | SDJewishJournal.com 57

LEFT: Real-life fiances Patrick J. Adams and Troian Bellisario star as Tim and Mallory; RIGHT: Natalia Payne stars as Galina and Alex Mickiewicz as Sergei in Anna Ziegler’s world premiere play “The Last Match,” at The Old Globe until March 13.

she admits. “He’s 97, lives in Boca Raton, and he still plays tennis once or twice a week. He used to be a professional basketball player, and was captain of the NYU basketball team.” The Old Globe as incubator “The Last Match” was part of the Globe’s New Voices Festival last winter. “It was a great experience,” Ziegler says. “I was excited to be part of it. It was the first time I ever had a reading that translated so quickly into a production offer.” Globe artistic director Barry Edelstein called the play “bold… superb… sophisticated.” “Ziegler’s complex dramaturgy,” he went on to say, “mines very rich veins of human psychology, as her characters struggle with the disconnect between what they think they want and how strange they feel when they get it. It’s exciting to spend two hours with a writer grappling with big ideas like these – big thoughts about American society – and doing it with such witty and vivid theatricality.”

The Globe helped to shepherd the play through a two-week workshop last summer at New York Stage and Film, a company that specializes in new play development. Two of the actors in that workshop will be in the Globe production. “The actors who play the Russians are both of Eastern European descent,” Ziegler says. “Natalia Payne is from Ukraine and Alex Mickiewicz has a Polish background. As Galina, Natalia is so funny, I think she’ll steal the play in a lot of moments.” There’s also a story that goes with the other two actors – Patrick J. Adams and Troian Bellisoario; they’re engaged to be married. Gayle Taylor Upchurch (who directed “Bethany” at the Globe in 2014) will have the challenge of staging the show in the round, in the Globe’s Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre. “The U.S. Open is in the round,” Ziegler says, “so there’s a built-in parallel. It will be a big task, but GT [Upchurch] is definitely up to it.”

The Globe is so pleased with Ziegler’s work that they’ve commissioned her to write another play. Meanwhile, she’s gearing up for three more productions this spring: a different staging of “The Last Match” (at Pittsburgh City Theatre); “Boy” a co-production of Keen Company and Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York; and “Another Way Home,” at Theater J in Washington, D.C. “I tend to have a lot of sympathy for each of my characters,” she says. “They seem like they’re all coming at the world in the best way, with the best intentions. But mistakes still happen. And burnout is inevitable.” Sounds like tennis. And life. A “The Last Match” runs through March 13 in The Old Globe’s Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre, in Balboa Park. Tickets (starting at $29) and information are at 619-23-GLOBE; theoldblobe.org.

NO MORE WAITING “GODOT” PLAYS IN SAN DIEGO The absurdist masterpiece “Waiting for Godot” returns to San Diego after 16 years this month, presented by Fruitlessmoon Theatreworks. Starting March 25 and running through April 10 at White Box Live Arts in Liberty Station, this production of the Nobel Prize-winning play by Samuel Beckett is produced and directed by Aimee Greenberg and stars Joe Powers, Tom Steward, Fred Harlow, Don Loper and Jordi Bertrant. 58 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

“Godot is our own personal symbol for salvation, something or someone outside of ourselves who can transform or fix us,” Greenberg said in a release. Pay-what-you-can dates are March 23 and 24 for the 7:30 p.m. performance. More info and ticket prices at fruitlessmoontheatreworks.org.

Support our dog’s Hebrew education! Students Give the Gift of Sight to Israeli Blind Students are urged to help sponsor a puppy, either as a class Tzedakah Project, or as a Mitzvah Project for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah, to assist blind Israeli veterans and civilians in regaining their lives.

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

Soundscape San Diego: exploration and remembrance

Two Thrilling Shows at North Coast Rep!

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STEVEN SCHICK conducts

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With film by Bill Morrison

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Way Downriver

Persephone A “melodrama”

A multi-media concert event, including Stravinsky’s dramatic tale of the Greek goddess of spring.

Featuring orchestra, La Jolla Symphony Chamber Chorus, and guest artists…

Alice Teyssier Narrator

Lux Boreal Dancers

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What Happens The Day After “Tomorrow”?…

DIRECTED BY JOEY LANDWEHR FEBRUARY 26 - MARCH 13, 2016 North Coast Singers

Youth Choir

John K. Russell

Tenor Soloist

March 12 @ 7:30pm • March 13 @ 2pm Mandeville Auditorium, UCSD Tickets: $39 / $36 / $18

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FOOD |||

PHOTOS BY NATALIE JACOBS

During off hours, The Crack Shack shows hand-painted garage doors gently mocking itself. INSET: clockwise from top right: Shmaltz fried fries, Coop Deville, Señor Croque, chicken oysters.

Three Clucks for THE CRACK SHACK All-star fine-dining team opens casual outdoor spot BY NATALIE JACOBS

hef Richard Blais and owner Michael Rosen’s new chicken joint in Little Italy has been getting rave reviews. That could be because its famous founders are coming off of an explosive two years with Juniper & Ivy, located next door to the new al-fresco eatery. Schmaltz might also have something to do with it. Yes, the chicken fat you’re used to pouring into chopped liver for Passover is making its debut in food trends this year and The Crack Shack puts it in the spotlight with their schmaltz fries. Fried chicken options make up the majority of the Shack’s menu, so the schmaltz makes sense beyond its newfound popularity – there must be plenty of chicken parts available for rendering into fat in this place. But also, schmaltz makes The Shack’s “fried fries” ($5) crispier than their French fried cousins and infuses them with a more robust flavor than oil. Jewish households and the nation’s most beloved Jewish delis will tell you they’ve been using schmaltz in creative ways for years – from challah to matzah ball soup to kugel – but of course always with the mantra “everything in moderation.” Keep that ancient wisdom in mind before trying out The Crack Shack, too. And then, splurge at least once. The Crack Shack is billing itself as an all-day breakfast spot, where cagefree eggs and free-range chicken shine in an upscale though down-home atmosphere. You order at a garage-like window, you sit at one of about eight monstrous communal tables, and your food is delivered on silver trays. Topping off the ambience, the conversations of well-dressed 30-somethings swirl underneath the softly glowing string lights to make The Crack Shack feel like a high-end cafeteria where all the tables belong to the cool kids. There are other options beyond fried chicken on the menu – wood

fired albacore ($13), chorizo ($11), kale Caesar salad ($8), deviled eggs ($6) – but those are for second and third visits. For first-timers, The Crack Shack employees will tell you it’s best to start with one of two fried chicken sandwiches – Señor Croque ($12) or Coop Deville ($12) – or the 5- ($15) and 10-piece ($28) plates. Kosher-style company will avoid the bacon/cheese/egg combination of the Señor Croque in favor of the Coop Deville, which is actually the tastier of the two, its Mexican-influenced coleslaw providing a nice contrast to the saltiness of the fried chicken. Both are served on a fresh, eggy brioche with a sweetness similar to challah. Like a true cafeteria, sauce dispensers line one wall near the soda machine (which noticeably does not offer Coca-Cola or Pepsi varieties), but the options are well beyond the customary ketchup and mustard. Of the six available Crack Sauces, kimchi BBQ was the most surprising complement to the schmaltz fried fries. If you get the chicken oysters ($9), though, you’ll experience one other sauce not on offer outside – the mustard seed tartar is the perfect adaptation of a traditional accompaniment for this land-locked take on the ocean’s pearl. Blais and Rosen continue to elevate San Diego’s dining scene, and if Juniper & Ivy is any indication, they make great business partners. People are clearly excited about this new endeavor – the line was seen winding around the fence on my visit – and it’s fun to think about other seemingly-out-of-place restaurants that will be encouraged to open their doors to San Diego as a result of The Crack Shack’s popularity. A The Crack Shack is located at 2266 Kettner Blvd., and is closed on Mondays. Their website is coming soon, but the menu can be found at crack-shack.com. Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 61

|||

FOOD |||

in the kitchen WITH

TORI AVEY

MIDDLE EASTERN TOMATO GARLIC FISH

T Tori Avey is an awardwinning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com.

raised in clean waters and has high levels of Omega 3s, I was “hooked.” It’s not cheap, but it is less expensive than fresh sea bass from our local fishmonger. We now enjoy sea bass again a couple of times a month as a treat. Of course you can use any sea bass you like in this recipe, or cod or haddock if you prefer. This recipe is very easy and super tasty. After defrosting your fish (if using frozen fillets), it only takes about 30 minutes to prep and cook. The sauce is mildly spicy and slightly sweet, filled with a wonderful garlicky flavor. While 20 minutes might seem like a long time to simmer fish fillets, the bed of herbs helps to keep them away from direct heat. This means the fish can slowly simmer and soak up the rich flavor of the sauce. The fillets may separate a bit while cooking, depending on how thin they’re cut; sea bass tends to hold up quite well. I like to serve the fish over cauliflower “couscous”

PHOTOS BY TORI AVEY

She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade. com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

his fish recipe is my take on a Sephardicstyle fish preparation that has been in my husband’s family for generations. I used to make it for our family frequently, but a couple of years ago I moved it to the back of my recipe box. It is best made with sea bass, a flaky, buttery white fish with a mild flavor that can stand up to a relatively long simmer. When I heard that Chilean sea bass was being boycotted due to overfishing, I stopped making this recipe as often. When I did make it, I used black cod as a substitute. That all changed a month ago when I discovered Australis Barramundi, a sustainable and delicious sea bass from Massachusetts. Before I go on, I should let you know that I have not been paid to promote or endorse this product. I just love it and feel more people should know about it. It’s sold in the frozen section of my local Whole Foods. After reading more about this healthy fish, which is sustainably

IKWTA 62 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

for a low carb, gluten free, light and satisfying meal (instructions below). Cauliflower couscous, or cauliflower rice as some folks call it, is simply cauliflower chopped into fine pieces and steamed or fried. You could also serve this dish over regular couscous or rice if you’re so inclined. I must say that the cauliflower couscous is really delicious, and it’s kosher for Passover too, which makes it super versatile. Note: The Australis brand is not kosher certified but sea bass is a kosher fish, so those who keep strictly kosher should follow their own protocol here. INGREDIENTS 4 mild, flaky white fish fillets - sea bass or black cod recommended 1 ½ cups hot water ¼ cup tomato paste ½ tsp paprika ½ tsp sugar or 1 tsp honey ¼ tsp cayenne pepper ½ tsp red pepper flakes (adds a slight kick - if you’re spice sensitive, feel free to omit) Salt and pepper to taste 2 large roasted red bell peppers, peeled and sliced, canned or jarred is okay 2 handfuls fresh cilantro or parsley 12 whole garlic cloves Cauliflower couscous, regular couscous or rice for serving (cauliflower couscous instructions below)

Cauliflower Couscous: Remove the stem and leaves from the bottom of a medium-sized cauliflower and rinse thoroughly to remove any debris. I prefer to grate the cauliflower in a food processor, but you can also grate it by hand, just be sure to cut the cauliflower into 4-6 manageable pieces. If using a processor, cut the cauliflower into small florets, then place half of the clean florets into the food processor. Pulse until the cauliflower resembles small couscous-like pieces, be sure not to over-process. Remove any remaining large pieces and process separately. Set processed cauliflower aside and repeat with the second half of the florets. Bring ½ cup of water to a boil in a medium pot. Pour the cauliflower in an even layer over the top of the water, then cover with a lid. Allow the cauliflower to steam over medium high heat for 5-7 minutes, stirring once with a fork, until it reaches desired tenderness. Be sure not to let the small amount of water boil out and burn. Once finished, remove the cauliflower from the heat and fluff with a fork. A

You will also need: large sauté pan with lid, whisk

PHOTOS BY TORI AVEY

Serves: 4 Total Time: 30 min Kosher Key: Pareve If your fish is frozen, thaw it in cold water or in the refrigerator overnight. Rinse your fish fillets with cool water and pat dry. In a small bowl or 2-cup measuring cup, whisk together hot water, tomato paste, paprika, sugar or honey, cayenne and ¾ tsp salt (if you’re watching your salt intake you can cut it to ½ tsp). In a large sauté pan, spread out the cilantro or parsley, roasted bell pepper slices, and garlic cloves to make an even “bed” for the fish fillets. Place the fish fillets on top of the bed of herbs, peppers and garlic. Sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper, then sprinkle evenly with the red pepper flakes. Pour the seasoned tomato paste liquid over the top of the fillets, coating each fillet with sauce. Turn on heat and bring the sauce to a medium simmer. Reduce heat to medium low, cover the sauté pan, venting slightly, and let the fish simmer for about 15 minutes, basting every 3-4 minutes with sauce, till the fish is opaque and flaky. Remove the lid from the pan and turn up the heat to a higher simmer. Let the sauce simmer and reduce for about 5-7 more minutes, continuing to baste the fillets, till the sauce thickens a bit and the largest garlic cloves are soft. Serve fillets over cauliflower couscous or your favorite starch, topped with sauce, garlic cloves and sliced peppers. Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 63

? GOIN '?ON ?? WHAT 'S BY EILEEN SONDAK

Ferruccio Furlanetto plays in San Diego March 5.

San Diego Opera will bring the vocal prowess of Ferruccio Furlanetto to Symphony Hall for a concert on March 5. For those who can’t make it to the show, the company just announced they have renewed their partnership with KPBS to air recordings of this season’s production. Listeners can catch the Furlanetto performance on the air Saturday, March 12 at 8 p.m.

San Diego Symphony

The San Diego Symphony will begin the month on March 4 with “One Singular Sensation: A Tribute to the Music of Marvin Hamlisch.” Jodi Benson will share vocal duties with a chorus and two other soloists for this one-night stand celebrating the prolific talents of this renowned composer. “Tao: Seventeen Samurai” will astound audiences with Taiko drumming and innovative choreography on March 12. Harpist Yolanda Kondonassis will join other musicians of the orchestra at the Auditorium at TSRI on March 15 for a special evening of chamber music. “Music in Motion: Dance and The Firebird” arrives at Symphony Hall March 18-20. Malashock Dance will perform a new commission by Gabriela Frank, with guest conductor David Danzmayr on the podium. March 20 will bring Igudesman and Joo to town for a hilarious evening show combining comedy, classical music, and popular culture. You’re encouraged to take the youngsters to this unique performance. The multi-cultural phenomenon, “globalFEST on the Road: Creole Carnival,” makes a stop at Symphony Hall on March 26.

The Old Globe

The Old Globe launched this season with “The Metromaniacs,” a “translaptation of a classic French farce,” directed by the legendary stage director Michael Kahn (in his local debut). This witty piece abounds with mistaken identities, playful poetry, and delicious plot twists, but it will have to leave the Main Stage on March 6. Following on that stage is “Rain,” a brand new musical based on the short story by Somerset Maugham. Barry Edelstein will stage this world premiere set in the tropical South Pacific for a March 24 through May 1 run. The sweeping musical drama sounds like a must-see for theater-goers. Finally, The Globe’s White Theatre continues with Anna Ziegler’s “The Last Match” until March 13. Read more about that production in the theater feature on pg. 56 of this magazine.

Cygnet Theatre

Cygnet will take on “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” again March 10 through May 1. Leave the youngsters at home, and see Sean Murray’s brash staging of this cult favorite about a pair of naïve lovers seeking shelter from a storm in an old castle.

San Diego Repertory Theatre

San Diego Rep is ready to bring back D.W. Jacob’s one-man show “R. Buckminster Fuller: The History (and Mystery) of the Universe.” If the title and subject of this tour-de-force sounds fascinating, you can see it at the Lyceum March 10 through April 3. Ron Campbell will perform in this unique piece.

Mainly Mozart

Mainly Mozart will present Stefan Jackiw on violin, Michael Nicolas on cello, and Ji on the keyboard March 12 in La Jolla and March 13 in Rancho Santa Fe.

Ballet

Dance buffs have choices this month. City Ballet will perform Balanchine Masterworks on the Spreckels stage March 4-6. The ambitious program features three of the master’s groundbreaking ballets. “Romeo and Juliet” will be danced by the California Ballet Company March 12-13 at the Balboa Theatre.

Broadway-San Diego

Broadway-San Diego has three exciting offerings this month. Take the whole family to the Civic Theatre March 15-20, when a new production of “The Wizard of Oz” (featuring new songs by Andrew Lloyd Webber, along with the old favorites) struts its stuff. “Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles” will take over the Balboa Theatre March 29-April 3. This all-new show is a live multimedia journey through the life and times of the superstar band. “Star Trek: The Ultimate Voyage” will thrill “Trekkies” on March 31. 64 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

Ron Campbell portrays R. Buckminster Fuller in one-man-show’s return to SD REP stage, March 10-April 3.

La Jolla Music Society

La Jolla Music Society will jazz things up March 4 with Grammy Awardwinner Keb’ Mo’ Blues Americana at the Balboa, followed on March 11 at Sherwood Auditorium with pianist Paul Lewis playing a four-piece concert. Fans of flamenco will enjoy the 20th anniversary tour of Ballet Flamenco de Andalucia on March 16 at the Spreckels. Montreal Symphony Orchestra will perform at Symphony Hall, courtesy of the Society, on March 23. Danil Trifonov will perform Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Major, Op. 26.

PHOTO BY KEVIN BERNE

PHOTO COURTESY SDO

San Diego Opera

PHOTO BY KEN JACQUES PHOTOGRAPHY

J*Company is introducing the sequel to “Annie” at the La Jolla JCC through March 13. Like the original, “Annie Warbucks,” is a familyfriendly musical.

Museum of Contemporary Art

The Museum of Contemporary Art has exciting exhibitions in both venues. The La Jolla location features “Ed Ruscha Then & Now” and “Alvaro Blancarte” through April 24. Inego Manglano-Ovall’s Juggernaut will be ensconced at the downtown facility through March 13.

Reuben H. Fleet Science Center Welk’s production of “Fiddler on the Roof” plays various dates this month.

Welk Theatre

PHOTO COURTESY NCR

Welk Theatre is reviving the ever-popular musical classic, “Fiddler on the Roof.” You have until April 24 to take the family to see this masterwork. The Welk also offers “Britain’s Finest: The Complete Beatles Experience” March 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30.

The Reuben H. Fleet Science Center continues with its new exhibitions, “Zoo in You: The Human Microbiome,” “Super Cells: The Power of Stem Cells,” and “Art of Science Learning.” Most are up through April, along with the continued runs of several IMAX films.

San Diego Museum of Art

The San Diego Museum of Art is offering “East Coast West Coast and InBetween” Harry Sternberg and America and James Hubbell California Wildfire Watercolors” through May 8. SDMA also unveiled new works of public art on view in the Plaza De Panama. “Art of the Open Air” features seven modern sculptures from the Museum’s collection, including Aguste Rodin’s “The Prodigal Son,” Joan Miro’s “Solar Bird,” Lynn Chadwick’s “The Watchers,” and Tony Rosenthal’s “Odyssey III.”

Allison Minick, David McBean and Kern McFadden star in NCR’s “Now You See It” thorugh March 20.

North Coast Repertory Theatre

North Coast Rep is showcasing the West Coast premiere of “Now You See It.” This outrageously funny farce is a dizzying escapade fueled by jealousy, a philandering husband, and a scandalous discovery. The farcical bauble will delight audiences through March 20.

Lamb’s Players

The Lamb’s is reviving an American classic, “The Miracle Worker,” March 4-April 10. This story of Helen Keller and the teacher who brought her out of darkness is ensconced at the Lamb’s Coronado home. The Lamb’s Player’s Robert Smyth and Deborah Gilmour Smyth are teaming up for a production of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe?” at the Lamb’s downtown Horton Grand Hotel location. The seething drama, staged by Intrepid Theatre Company, will continue through March 13.

“The Watchers” by Lynn Chadwick.

PHOTO BY NATALIE JACOBS

PHOTO BY KEVIN BERNE

J*Company

Mingei Museum

Mingei is about to close on two of its popular shows from last year. “In the Realm of Nature” (a retrospective on the careers of Bob Stocksdale and Kay Sekimachi) and “Three on the Edge” (focusing on three San Diego architects) are up until March 15.

The Natural History Museum

The Natural History Museum will open “Whales: Giants of the Deep” on March 13. This exciting show, offering an up-close look into the world of the whales, will continue through Sept. 16. Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 65

what date AM I?

____ washing hands

WORD FIND

Brought to you by:

www.thefamousabba.com

Find the bold italic words on this sheet. The unused letters spell a secret message!

The following four mitzvot are performed on Purim: 1) Se'uda: to participate in a festive meal during the daytime on Purim; 2) Megillat Esther: one should listen to the reading of Megillat Ester both at night and during the day. It is necessary to hear every single word or one has not fulfilled his obligation; 3) Mishloach Manot: it is obligatory for all adult men and women to send a gift which consists of at least two different foods to another person on Purim day. The foods must be edible and may be a combination of food and drink; and 4) Matanot La'evyonim: each person should give charity to a minimum of two people in need on Purim day. The charity can be money, food, drink, or clothing. The value of the gift should at least equal the cost for the recipient to purchase a basic meal.

In Parshat Z'car we read that Amalek attacked the Jewish people in Rephidim. Moshe told Yehoshua to pick men and go fight them. Moshe, Aharon and Hur went on top of a hill and when Moshe lifted his hands the Jewish people defeated Amalek. HaShem said to remember what Amalek did.

14 ADAR 2 5776 PURIM

___ Hear the Torah read ___ Daven Ma'ariv (the evening prayer) ___ Listen to Megillat Esther ___ Eat a daytime Se'uda (festive meal)

WORD

CMRLESAB (scramble) IAMDROECH MANUMCHE

(Hint: People in Megillat Esther)

STEREH AROSHAVECHSH

spot the difference

WOOL

PURPLE

MARBLE

Which one is different? (Hint: King Achashverosh's 180 day party)

COUCHES

VESSELS

gematria

A Purim custom...

‫קן כ‬ ‫צט‬ + ‫ ל‬x ‫צח – ב‬

‫י‬ ‫ק י‬ x‫ה– ס– ה‬ ‫ה‬

weekly chinuch podcast - over 100 posted! CHINUCH + Parsha < 5 minutes www.thefamousabba.com/podcasts

400 300 200 100 90

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬

‫ג‬ +‫ו‬

• Your best friend did not give you Mishloach Manot. • The reader of Megillat Esther misread a line.

Can you judge these situations favorably?

you be the judge

TORAH

NMAHA HASVIT

In which order are the following completed on Purim:

historical timeline

SUPER PURIM SHEET

In Shushan, the Jews won the battle today. Nowadays, Purim is celebrated in Jerusalem and in all cities that were walled at the time of Yehoshua’s conquest of Israel.

good trait OF THE DAY

Kindness: When you deliver Megillat Esther, do it with a smile!

CROSSWORD

Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. For help, use the reference 1 from Megillat Esther.

DOWN 1. ‫( חדש‬8:12) 3. ‫( איש‬1:8) 5. ‫( טוב‬10:3) 7. ‫( לפני‬1:16) ACROSS 2. ‫( שמחה‬9:18) 4. ‫( עבד‬4:11) 6. ‫( בית‬1:22) 8. ‫( עץ‬9:25)

purim in REVIEW

Share your favorite Purim costume that you ever wore.

blessings ____ wine

____ grace after the meal

At a Purim meal, in which order do we say blessings on the following:

____ bread

Check your answers at: www.thefamousabba.com/PURIM

‫ב' תשע"ו‬

66 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

DIVERSIONS By Natalie Jacobs

“The Boatmaker” Winner of this year’s Jewish Book Award for Debut Fiction, this book takes place in a unnamed country where one man is confronted with his unknown Jewish identity amidst deeply rooted anti-Semitisim in his small town.

“The Rope” Kanan Makiya teaches Islamic and Middle Eastern Studies at Brandeis University and this month he’s out with another book to add to his extensive catalog. This historical novel follows a nameless narrator through Afghanistan starting the day after the fall of Saddam Hussein. Personal history quickly gets wrapped up in contemporary global politics and the result is a stunning and thoroughly thought-provoking novel.

“Edible Flowers” Another local author has updated her acclaimed cooking companion. This beautiful little recipe book will brighten up any home cook’s repertoire, with interesting, tasty and colorful ways to incorporate flowers into breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert.

“Putting G-d Second” The founder of Israel’s Shalom Hartman Institute offers an exploration of how monotheistic faiths are failing to live up to the moral and ethical standards that their beliefs are founded upon.

“A Guide to Happiness” One local life coach and Jewish South African has published his first book to rave reviews. It’s a simple handbook for living better, with illustrations and easy-to-follow bullet points that will leave you with things to ponder for days.

“The ‘Brother’ Haggadah” In preparation for Passover, check out this incredible reproduction of a 14th century Sephardic Haggadah.

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 67

news English Tea and Jewish Songwriters Come to San Dieguito The San Dieguito Chapter of the Brandeis National Committee will hold an afternoon concert of popular and musical theatre songs by Jewish songwriters, followed by a full English tea on Wednesday, March 31 at the Sheraton Carlsbad Resort, 5480 Grand Pacific Drive, Carlsbad. The program, which begins at 1 p.m., will include “Heritage of Music – Berlin to Hamlisch,” performed by Rabbi/Cantor Gabi Arad and Jennifer Walsey, who has performed professionally in opera and musical theatre. The two will be accompanied by Gayle Simon. The event will benefit the BNC Scholarship Campaign and will cost $50, $60, or $65. For more information, contact Bea at (760) 434-2465.

Maccabi Sports Seeks Athletes

Maccabi USA is currently seeking Jewish athletes to represent the United States at the 20th World Maccabiah Games in Israel, July 5-17, 2017. The Games will consist of more than 42 sports with more than 7,500 athletes from more than 70 countries. To learn more about the sports available for competition, and to access an application, visit maccabiusa. com. A deadline has not been noted.

AFMDA Announces New Leadership

AMCHA Publishes “Inventory of Anti-Semitic Incidents” The campus watchdog group AMCHA Initiative recently released its 2015 report of anti-Semitic incidents by school. The report and accompanying database shows events from the past academic year, searchable by state and university. The incidents are organized into three categories: Targeting Jewish Students and Staff; Anti-Semitic Expression; and Boycott, Divest and Sanctions (BDS) Activity. AMCHA found a total of 302 incidents that took place at 109 schools in 28 different states. In San Diego, the group has included the Students for Justice in Palestine conference which featured Rasmeah Odeh, a “convicted terrorist,” in the BDS category. Elsewhere in California, “Zionists should be sent to the gas chamber” was found etched on UC Berkeley property; a Jewish fraternity in Davis was defaced with swastikas, “grout the Jews” was etched into the Hillel house, and “F**k the Jews” was etched into cars; and both a UCLA student and employee were found posting comments such as “F**king Jews. GTFOH [get the f**k out of here] with all your Zionist bullshit...” on social media. To search the full database, visit amchainitiative.org/antisemitism-tracker.

The American Friends of Magen David Adom in late January announced the unanimous appointment of David M. Frankel as chief exeuctive officer. In his first move as head of the U.S. fundraising arm of Israel’s national ambulance, Frankel hired Catherine Reed as chief development officer. The organization has been working with Frankel since October, when he began as interim CEO. Prior to that, Frankel was commissioner of the New York City Department of Finance, and executive director of the Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty. Catherine Reed comes to AFMDA from 92nd Street Y where she was director of development for the last five years.

Two Upcoming CJC Classes for Very Different Tastes The Center for Jewish Culture will offer two very different classes this spring. The first, “In the Eye of the Storm: Threats to Israel’s Security,” begins March 8 and will explore the strengths and weaknesses of the current military situation, the Palestinians and their perpetual intifada, and the Syrian Civil War and its aftermath on Israel. Professor Sanford Lakoff, founding chair of the department of political science at UC San Diego, leads the class. The cost for this four-week course is $80. Then, things lighten up on April 12 for “From Sinai To Seinfeld: The History Of Jewish Humor.” This 10-week course will “explore the treasure of irresistible jokes from the Israelite relationship with G-d to the growing divide between cultural and religious Judaism in the early 21st century.” Dr. Ilana De Laney, the director of adult education at the CJC will teach this one. Cost is $200. Contact Ilana Tatro at ilenet@lfjcc.org to learn more and register.

68 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

David Rubenstein Memorial Scholarship Now Accepting Applications Rain barrels using Israeli technology were installed in City Heights' Franklin Elementary in January as part of the U.S.-Israel Center on Innovation and Economic Sustainability local outreach programming.

Dr. Mick Retires from SDNat

Israel Center Welcomes Israeli MBAs to Rady School of Mgmt

The San Diego Natural History Museum in early February announced that longtime president and CEO Dr. Michael “Mick” Hager will retire from his post on June 30 of this year. Hager has lead the Museum since 1991, just after the institution recovered from “complete disarray.” Hager’s accomplishments were outlined by the Museum in a news release, touting his quarter century of leadership as full of “tremendous accomlishments” including the completion of a $34 million capital campaign, a 16 percent increase in the annual budget, and bringing iconic exhibitions to San Diego like the Dead Sea Scrolls and Body Worlds.

For the second half of their exchange program, the U.S.-Israel Center on Innovation and Economic Sustainability welcomed 29 Israeli MBA students to the UC San Diego Rady School of Management for a week in February. The immersion program was launched on the morning of Monday, Feb. 8 at the School with remarks from Congresswoman Susan Davis, Ernest Rady, and Dean Robert Sullivan. Throughout the week, the Israeli MBA students visited sites of innovation in San Diego, including the Leichtag Ranch, the “Calibaja region,” and the Salk Institute. Panel discussions covered social entrepreneurship and venture capital with guest speakers including Gary Jacobs, Mike Krenn, Jeff and Linda Church, Kristen Victor and more. The U.S.-Israel Center also recently celebrated the second installation of rain barrels at local schools. To date, the Israeli rainwater collection system has been installed at Pacific Beach Middle School and Franklin Elementary in City Heights. The goal is to teach students about water conservation and Israeli innovation. The water from the 300-gallon tanks will be used to supply school gardens for now, and schools will explore further options for usage as the program continues. To follow all of the U.S.-Israel Center’s initiatives, visit rady.ucsd.edu/usic.

The JFS-David Rubenstein Memorial Scholarship is currently accepting applications until March 15. A private scholarship program established by Dr. Robert Rubenstein in memory of his son David, the program annually grants 1520 scholarships of up to $2,500. The JFSDavid Rubenstein Memorial Scholarship seeks to encourage young people to treasure their Jewish heritage, reflect on their Jewish values, and better understand their connection to the community. High school and college applicants may apply. For eligibility requirements, guidelines and applications, visit jfssd.org/scholarship. Contact Jennifer Turner at (858) 6373037 or jennifert@jfssd.org.

Author Talks in RB

The Rancho Bernardo chapter of the Brandeis National Committee will present its March event at the Bernardo Heights Country Club on March 8. The annual Book and Author Luncheon features authors Matt Coyle and his novel is "Night Tremors," Susan Vreeland with her novel "Lisette’s List" and Shirley Ann Wilder discussing her novel is "Too Many Cooks." Contact Linda at (858)487-8041for details and reservations.

Wishing your family He Won’t Continue Marty Block Announces andforeveryone a to Run Re-Election Happy Rosh Hashanah

In a Facebook post on Jan. 28, California State Senator and founder of the Jewish Caucus, Marty Block, announced he will terminate his bid for re-election in the 39th Senate District, thus paving the way for termed-out Speaker of the House Toni Atkins to continue as the unopposed Democrat in the race. The two have been campaigning against each other since last summer. “Our debates repeatedly demonstrated that Speaker Atkins and I have very similar progressive positions on issues. It logically follows that we can best advance a progressive Democratic agenda both in San Diego and in the Capitol by working together,” Block said in his statement. In a statement released quickly afterward, Speaker Atkins, who has received several high-profile endorsements, said she www.MartyBlock.com “was as surprised as his colleagues” about Block’s announcement. paid for by Marty Block for State Assembly #1294013

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 69

HAPPENINGS by tina b. eshel

his month, we bring you butterflies and circus clowns, Hebrew and Purim fun. It’s also Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day on March 8. First, beautiful winged creatures will be on display at the Annual Butterfly Jungle at the San Diego Safari Park, March 14-April 12. Dress like a colorful flower and one of the many thousands of butterflies may land on you. Skip the lines and get priority viewing at sdzsafaripark.org to book your tickets today. There’s a new Mommy & Me Yoga and Music Class series for mothers with babies 0-24 months available through Chabad Hebrew Academy. Topics to be explored in addition to yoga and music are baking on March 1; gardening on March 8; and March 15, some Purim Fun specifically for the little ones. The class open to the community, hosted by the Chabad Hebrew Academy in Scripps Ranch. Email Wendy Leberman at wleberman@chasd.org to register. If you are in your 20s, 30s or early 40s, check out NextGen for social events, Newcomers Brunches, happy hours, Shabbat dinners and more. On March 19, they are organizing a Meditative Shabbat and Potluck Lunch from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The fastest way to know what they are planning is to sign up for their newsletter at nextgensandiego.org. San Diego Celebrates the Hebrew Language this month with a series of events. On Saturday, March 12, 6:30 p.m. catch the discussion, Does your heart speak Hebrew? at the Ken Jewish Center on the San Diego Jewish Academy Campus. On Sunday, March 20, 10:30 a.m. enjoy a Preschool Hebrew Storytime at the Barnes & Noble in Encinitas. This is the third year this event has taken place which started in New York before making its way west. For a complete listing of activities visit ivritsd.org. The Museum of Contemporary Art continues with its popular monthly event Downtown at Sundown, this month on March 17 at the Museumt’s Kettner Blvd. location. Enjoy free Museum admission, low cost food and wine offerings from local restaurants, music by emerging DJs, guided tours and live performance art. Details at mcasd.org. In honor of Women’s History Month, discover the Women’s Museum of California in Liberty Station, Point Loma. This month, they are hosting the Women’s Film Festival, March 9-27. A full schedule of movies and events is at womensmuseumca.org. The big tent is back with the world premier of iLuminous, Circus Vargas’ high-energy animal-free circus. Catch the acts in Mission Bay Park until March 7, Westfield Plaza Bonita from March 10-27, and Vista Village Drive from March 30-April 4. Your tickets to fond childhood memories can be purchased at circusvargas.com. A

70 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

BEST BETS

Mark your calendar.

ANNUAL BUTTERFLY JUNGLE March 14-April 12 San Diego Safari Park 15500 San Pasqual Valley Rd, Escondido sdsafaripark.org

DOWNTOWN AT SUNDOWN Thursday, March 17, 5-7 p.m. Museum of Contemporary Art Downtown 11000 Kettner Blvd mcasd.org

WOMEN’S FILM FESTIVAL Wednesdays and Sundays, March 9-27 Women’s Museum of California 2730 Historic Decatur Road, Suite 103, San Diego womensmuseumca.org

CIRCUS VARGAS P RESENTS ILUMINOUS March 1-April 4 Locations vary circusvargas.com

SENIOR CENTERS Lawrence Family JCC 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla Contact Melanie Rubin for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 362-1141. Beginning Bridge Lessons Thursdays, March 24-May 12, 10:30 a.m. Class is for beginners. Cost: $145, $120 for JCC members. Midori Plays Tchaikovsky Sunday, April 3, 12:45 p.m. Meet bus at Lawrence Family JCC. Enjoy a beautiful afternoon concert with Midori and the San Diego Symphony. Cost: $54 non-member, $45 member, includes ticket and bus. JFS University City Older Adult Center 9001 Towne Centre Drive, La Jolla Contact Aviva Saad for details or to R.S.V.P. (858) 550-5998. Lunch available at noon with reservations. Daily fee, $27. Spring Celebrations Around the World Tuesday, March 22, 10 a.m. Purim Celebration Thursday, March 24, 10 a.m. On the Go Excursions A program of Jewish Family Service, On the Go provides transportation to events throughout the county for homebound seniors. For information, please call Jo Kessler at (858) 637-7320. Shen Yun, San Diego Civic Theatre Sunday, March 27, bus departs 12:30 p.m. Cost: $85 by March 3. 41th Annual Senior Talent Show, San Diegoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent! Balboa Park Club Wednesday, March 30, bus departs 11 a.m. Cost: $20 by March 18. The Rocky Horror Show, Cygnet Theatre, Old Town Sunday, April 10, bus departs at 1 p.m. Cost: $62 by March 28. JFS No. County Inland Center at Adat Shalom 15905 Pomerado Road, Poway Contact (858) 674-1123 for details. Most Activities are free to members, and lunch is $7 with reservations. The New Horizons Band Monday, March 7, 11 a.m. Led by Allison Hargis from the Museum of Making Music, this program offers adults a chance to learn how to play a concert band instrument. Nutrition Classes from the San Diego Food Bank Wednesdays, March 9, 16, and 23, 11 a.m. JFS Coastal Club at Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave., Cardiff by the Sea

Purim Celebration JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego RSVP at (858) 637-3270. Thursday, March 24, 11 a.m. Contact (858) 674-1123 for details. R.S.V.P. for lunch by Monday at 12:30 p.m. All activities are free and lunch is $7. David Amos: Festive Music Part 2 Tuesday, March 8, 11a.m. David Amos returns to tell the history behind some of the most recognizable and popular holiday and festival music from around the world. Being Positive and Creating Happiness Tuesday, March 15, 11 a.m. Lindsay Wagner leads students through lively and insightful group discussions and exercises. Making Friends at Any Age Tuesday, March 29, 11 a.m. JFS College Avenue Center 6299 Capri Drive, San Diego, CA 92120 Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3270 for details on any events or to R.S.V.P. UCSD Healthy Aging Event at the College Avenue Center Monday, March 21, 12:30 p.m Researchers from the UC San Diego are partnering with Jewish Family Service to invite individuals in the community to participate in a study of healthy aging of mind and body. If you would like to learn more, call (619) 543-5592. Purim Celebration Thursday, March 24, 11 a.m. Featuring tunes with Yochanan Sebastian Winston and Tommy Gannon. Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein at (858) 521-8694 Second Sunday of the month, 10 a.m. Lox and bagels served. North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center 455 Country Club Lane, Oceanside Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 Third Thursday of the month, 12:30 p.m., light refreshments served. Veterans Association of North County 1617 Mission Avenue, Oceanside CA 92058. Contact Marc Poland (858) 232-1645. Jewish War Veterans meetings Second Sunday of each month, noon. San Diego North County Post 385. Adar I â&#x20AC;˘ Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 71

SHABBAT EVENTS

SYNAGOGUE LIFE PURIM Purim Carnival at Ohr Shalom Sunday, March 20, 11 a.m. 2512 Third Ave, San Diego, CA; (619) 231-1456 ohrshalom.org No entrance fee, food available for purchase Tifereth Israel Purim Carnival Sunday, March. 20, 10 a.m. 6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard; (619) 697-6001 tiferethisrael.com Purim Carnival at Beth Am Sunday, March 20, 11 a.m. 5050 Del Mar Heights Rd; (858) 481-8454 betham.com Cost: $20 Purim Carnival at Beth Israel Sunday, March 20, 11:30 a.m. 9001 Towne Centre Drive; (858) 900-2501 cbisd.org Purim Carnival and Used Book Sale at Temple Solel Sunday, March 20, 11:30 a.m. 3575 Manchester Ave; (760) 436-0654 templesolel.net Cost: $25 each in advance, $35 at the door; bulk pricing available The Gift of Giving: Purim Celebration and Dinner at Beth El Sunday, March 20, 4 p.m. 8660 Gilman Drive, La Jolla, CA; (858) 452-1734; cbe.org Cocktals, dinner, auction and entertainment to honor Sam Jacobs

Purim â&#x20AC;&#x153;Best Party in Townâ&#x20AC;? with Chabad of Scripps Ranch Wednesday, March 23, 7:15 p.m. 10785 Pomerado Road; (858) 547-0076 chabaddiego.com Purim in Italy at Chabad of Poway Thursday, March 24, 4 p.m. 16934 Chabad Way; (858) 451-0455; chabadpoway.com

GALAS Masquerade Gala at Ner Tamid Saturday, March 5, 5:30 p.m. 15318 Pomerado Road; (917) 715-0653 Annual Gala featuring a tribute to Mitchel Freedman, president for the past eight years. Tifereth Israel Annual Fundraiser Saturday, March 12, 7 p.m. 6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd; (619) 697-6001 *Interested in having your event featured? Contact tinamarieb@sdjewishjournal.com. Submissions are due by 15th of the month for the next issues.

72 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

||| SYNAGOGUE |||

Tribute to a Community Leader

On May 14, Temple Emanu-El, a reform congregation in the Del Cerro neighborhood, will host its annual fundraising gala. Dr. Bob Rubenstein will be honored for his “lifetime of philanthropy,” for his dedication to the temple and the San Diego Jewish community. The Gala committee has this honorarium.

ob has had a mission to see that Temple Emanu-El be strong and provide services for the community ever since he became affiliated in 1967. He was President of the Board for three years in the late 1970s. Since then, Bob has responded to any call for help from the congregation. He negotiated the purchase of the synagogue’s present location; he arranged a loan to fund payments for the construction of the administration building and negotiated reduced payments to subcontractors when the contractor went bankrupt during construction. Bob was a significant part of the development of the new sanctuary, as his active membership on the building committee and the lobby bearing his family’s name will attest. Bob Rubenstein became a member of Temple Emanu-El soon after he arrived in San Diego from Philadelphia to open an office for the practice of ophthalmology and serve as assistant professor at UC San Diego in the department of ophthalmology. He attributes his initial synagogue membership to the warm family feeling that began with Rabbi and Sally Cohen, which continues throughout the leadership of Rabbi Lawson and presently with Rabbi Marcus. Education has always been high on Bob’s list of important life needs, as

it has for many Jews throughout the ages. Toward that end, he has been involved with the preschool and the Torah school at the Temple. Beyond the synagogue, Dr. Bob established the David L. Rubenstein Memorial Scholarship at Jewish Family Service to aid Jewish students from San Diego during their college years, especially in the transition year from high school. Other community activities in which he has been engaged through the years are as one of the local Founders and President of Big Brothers of San Diego, President of the California Association of Ophthalmology and member of the Board of the San Diego Jewish Federation. In addition, he has been and is actively involved with Big Brothers, the San Diego Symphony, Hillel, Jewish Community Foundation, Jewish Family Service, the new downtown San Diego Library, and the Salk Institute. Dr. Bob’s kindness, compassion and caring generosity are hallmarks of his life. Please join Temple Emanu-El in honoring Dr. Bob Rubenstein and his commitment to the Temple and the San Diego community on Saturday, May 14 at the Marriott Hotel in Mission Valley. More information can be found at teesd.org. A

Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 73

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ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

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If Only Simchas Were Simple We Jews are terrific organizers, but even the most prodigious party-planners suffer from stress attacks. Here’s what some find most troubling. WEDDING WOES

Dear Marnie: I’m planning an swanky afternoon wedding on the grounds of our country club. I want everything to be absolutely perfect, so we’ve decided not to invite children under 14. The problem is, family is coming from Israel with two children, 6 and 8. We’ve put them up in a nearby hotel. I’ve offered to find a babysitter, and suggested that one parent stay with the kids while the other attends, but this has caused a major explosion among the immediate family, especially my parents. My fear is small children may get bored and create problems; and if we make one exception, others with kids might be offended. What do you think? - Family Matters MARNIE SAYS: I think I need Maalox. Mamala, I’m forced to tell you that your “problem” evoked the same response in me as a deep whiff of milk that expired with the Reagan administration. True, brides have the right to make the rules but some things need to be negotiable. Absolutely perfect? The only thing I’ve ever seen that’s absolutely, perfectly true is Murphy’s Law. You could leave out all the children from Tel Aviv to San Diego and Uncle Leo may still toss his hack up his brisket during the speeches. Chill, honey. Prioritize “perfection.” Make (yet another) list. No, not about the order of hors d’oeuvres. Rank what’s important about this wedding. That’s what your guests will remember (unless you have truly gray chicken). Let me start you: 1.) Spiritual communion of this mitzvah; 2.) People you care about, celebrating; 3.) Tradition; 4) THESE PEOPLE HAVE COME HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD TO JOIN YOU. Sheesh! How about aiming for almost perfect? Examine: Two hundred people on a lawn. Unless these children are shooting toy Uzis at the Rabbi, ask yourself how rowdy can they get that couldn’t be curbed by a simple walk with Abba around the green? You fear if these children are present, other parents will hurl chopped liver all over your nice 76 SDJewishJournal.com l March 2016

chuppah. Tell them that the “spoilers” shlepped from Israel with their children to attend your chassenah. And that, sweetie, is my definitive answer that will turn this blessed ritual into a day of joy and true meaning, which after all, is the point. Isn’t it?

their daughter which may move them each down a notch on your speed-dial comethe next round of family gatherings. Trust me. They’ll be there. (But seat them at opposite ends of the shul and get the rebbetzin to be your look-out.)

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Dear Marnie: I’m 35 and my fiancé is 42. We both lost our spouses and met at a Jewish grief group several years ago. We feel a relatively small wedding is more appropriate. The problem, Marnie dear, is my parents. They are divorced and though they can co-exist in the same room when forced, we never know if the fireworks will start. My dad’s seriously seeing a lovely woman; my mom is also seeing someone, not serious. All of a sudden, mom is telling me if this woman of Dad’s attends, she won’t. I told dad the problem. Now he won’t attend if mom “wins” this. I want them both to be there, but this isn’t about them. Shouldn’t they be able to set their issues aside and support me? - Stuck in the Middle MARNIE SAYS:: Since your parents have managed to maneuver you out of the center of your own joy and into the center of their “oy,” let’s restore you to your rightful place. Repeat after me: “I can’t win this their way!” Your folks’ impressions to the contrary, they can’t “win” either. This is a wedding, not a game show. These vengeful moves leave only victims not victors. Choose not to participate in their mishegoss. Their lose-lose stance gives you only one sane alternative: doing what feels right to you. The one thing you can “win” is your self-respect. Invite all of them! Tell the “kvetching kinder” the plan. If they argue, insist your wedding won’t be “put in play” to abet their hate-agenda. In years to come, there will be births, Bar Mitzvahs, Pesachs — and new partners for each of them. They can choose to come or miss out on the divine, blessed union of

Dear Marnie: I’ve asked my girlfriend to marry me. I’m 27, she’s 23. She comes from a large affluent family. I do not. I just graduated law school and have started my own practice so finances are tight. Each of her sisters had great diamond engagement rings, so I’m sure she expects the same. I’ve been told that I should spend about two month’s income on a ring. But Marnie, I can’t afford anything close to that. What should I do? - Fiancé in Fear MARNIE SAYS: You lovely man. When I was married, after a year I received a ring so small we called it the Hopeless Diamond. It was 1/8th of a carat with 20 prongs so it wouldn’t fly in case of – weather. And, it was fine with me. As it should be. I’m on your side friend, now let’s hope your fiance will join us. The “two-month” rule: While your concern for your lady’s feelings is kingly, a man of courage follows his own conscience and common sense. Use yours. What can you afford? Talk to your love. Level about your income, your wishes and your limitations. This is a decision you need to make together. Straightshooting about bucks should be bigger than glitter. Learn that now. Contrary to the song, diamonds are not necessarily a girl’s best friend. Her fiancé, however, should be. The world is filled with options. Waiting is one. Or other stones. Opals, amethysts, garnets, pearls! The world is loaded with gems. Now we need ask, is your fiancée one of them? A

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Kaye Stellman-San Diego 4/23/1920-12/09/2015 Survivors: daughter, Marlene Tenen, son, Michael Stellman, 4 grandchildren and 6 greatgrandchildren Samuel Kaye-Carlsbad 12/18/1917-12/9/2015 Survivors: daughter, Ellen Kaye Gehrke; and sons, Michael, Robert and Donald Kaye Burton Jay-Bellingham 6/03/1934-12/13/2015 Survivors: wife, Susan Jay; and daughter, Debbie Levy

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Harvey Sills-Chula Vista 4/19/1922-12/25/2015 Survivors: son, Hugh Sills Philip Cohen-Warner Springs 5/4/1955-12/26/2015 Survivors: daughters, Rachel and Nicole Cohen and Este Koscie Alice Frades-Chula Vista 1/22/1925-12/26/2015 Survivors: daughter, Jo Anne Frades; and son, Steve Matthews

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 77

Don’t dream it. SEE IT!

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Adar I • Adar II 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 79

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