Accompany the Young

COMPANION

SANGATI

Konkan Salesian Bulletin Province of Panjim (INP)

Apr - Jun 2017 | Volume - 10 | Issue 02

Accompany the Young How to Educate People to be Good

The Awesome Power to be ‘Me’

A Healthy Life-Style

Editorial Editor Joaquim Lobo, sdb Editorial Team Francis Xavier, sdb Ralin De Souza, sdb Jason Pinto, sdb Layout & Cover Design Joaquim Lobo, sdb Consultants Fr Felix Fernandes, sdb (Provincial) Fr Avil Rodrigues, sdb (Vice Provincial) Fr Jose Sequeira, sdb (Economer) Distribution Lazar Vaz Printed at James Arts Crafts, Sivakasi Published by Boskon Communications Don Bosco Provincial House Odxel, Goa University P.O. Goa 403206 Ph : 0832 2451449

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So much is happening in the world at such a quick speed; and it looks like everything is happening around you. The internet on the mobile has everything to offer!

The television set at every home is a wilfully accepted intruder! One could either get lost and try to manage somehow, or begin to understand and see through them rather clearly. But for sure, it is a huge uphill task.

What do a child who is bombarded with all-in-the-world make of it? He/she is just growing! Had what needed was provided to it first, the foundation would remain unshakably strong. Unfortunately, such a wishful thinking is almost an impossibility today or is it?

Imagin how easily even a foreign national, staying in his/ her own country, is able to brainwash your daughter/ son. The alarming rate at which the suicide bombing, shooting, killing of the innocents happen in the world from the hands of the youngsters is absolutely shocking.

It would be most revealing to know the amount of quality time parents of these ill-informed youngsters spent with them when they were growing up. How important it is to be around the child as a guide, mentor and inspirer!

Don Bosco’s eye saw this need when he found youngsters on the streets all by themselves. Making them ‘honest citizens and good people’ was his priority. For every sizable group of youngsters in the boarding, he kept aside one ‘brother assistant’ - a guide, an elder brother and a constant companion - to be where they were.

Can we leave this all important task to nothing-to-lose ‘strangers’ - internet and television - and confuse our young leaving them to judge for themselves the right from wrong? Or will we resolve to to be with them as a constant guide and companion? For the good of a youngster, we must choose to accompany them.

Joaquim Lobo, sdb This is a Salesian Panjim Province Bulletin, and is directed towards the Salesian works in the regions of Sindhudurg, Goa and Karnataka.

For private circulation only.

COVER STORY Ivo Coelho, sdb

Salesian

Spiritual Accompaniment In the middle of Evangelii Gaudium we find a little discourse on personal spiritual accompaniment (or spiritual direction, as we commonly call it) (EG 169-173). Not something one might have expected to find in an encyclical on evangelization, but there it is. A wonderful insight from a deeply pastoral pope.

The insight comes at a historical moment in the life of the Salesian congregation, when not one but two sectors – Youth Ministry and Formation – have been making personal accompaniment the focus of intense and sustained attention.

The moment is historical, because it involves a recovery of one of the key areas of the Salesian charism. If Don Bosco was anything, he was a spiritual guide of young people.

Personal spiritual accompaniment is one of the principal ways in which Da mihi animas takes shape

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– the Da mihi animas to which the Salesian Congregation dedicated an entire general chapter, drawing attention to our identity and mission: that of being evangelizers of the young, signs and bearers of God’s love to them. Perhaps there has been the temptation to see ourselves somewhat exclusively in terms of football and music, games and fun.

Perhaps we have all too easily been content to see ourselves as entertainers and educators (in the sense of helping young people ‘complete their schooling’). Perhaps what Fr. Vecchi said is all too true: that we know very well how to gather young people together, but then we wonder what to do with them. The focus of our Youth Ministry sector is therefore wonderfully in line with GC26: personal accompa n i ment belongs to the very heart of our vocation and mission. Even more wonderfully we now know that the forthcoming Synod will b e dedicated to t h e theme of

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youth, the faith, and vocational discernment.

Pope Francis has said explicitly on more than one occasion, he is trying to bring discernment to the heart of the pastoral life of the Church.

The hints given by the pope in Evangelii Gaudium serve to draw our attention to vital aspects of Don Bosco’s system.

Stopping in reverence before the sacred ground of the other, removing our sandals in contemplation, compassion, empathy (far more powerful in the Spanish text which speaks of the “mirada cercana para contemplar, conmoverse y detenerse ante el otro cuantas veces sea necesario” – EG 169), is a wonderful reminder of Don Bosco’s fundamental attitude before the young: “That you are young is enough for me to love you.”

The invitation to the look, the “mirada cercana,” is especially relevant to all those who tend to be, like Martha, “harried and anxious about a thousand things,” with the real risk of missing the One Thing Necessary (Lk 10,41). The pope returns to the look in Laudato Si’ when he calls for “serene attentiveness” to the words of love that God speaks to us in nature (LS 225226), and then again in Amoris Laetitia where he insists on the utter concreteness of human persons, and the need for infinite respect and patience, that kind of respect and patience that call for discernment rather than the highhanded and sometimes

crude application of universal rules to the particular.

The look of reverence and love translates into the virtue of patience and the skill of listening.

Here the pope makes an interesting appeal to St Thomas on the way real virtues can co-exist in the concrete human person with equally real “contrary inclinations” that obscure them. We need patience and true respect for the other, a respect that is capable of seeing through what obscures, penetrating beneath the veil to what lies underneath. The one who accompanies needs a patient pedagogy, “a pedagogy which will introduce people step by step to the full appropriation of the mystery,” as John Paul II said in Ecclesia in Asia. (EG 171) It is wonderful to know that when St Paul speaks of love as patient (1 Cor 3,4), he is really using a word that the Septuagint translation uses of God: makrothymia.

Makrothymia is often translated as “long suffering” or “slow to anger”:“A merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness (hesed) and t r ut h” (Ex 34, 6). To be patient, then, is to be like God. No wonder St Paul calls love a gift, the highest gift of all: the l o v e that is poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

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Pope Francis understands this very well. “God has a virtue, and that is patience,” he said memorably to the 1260 formators gathered in Rome during the Year of Consecrated Life.

God is long suffering, and the Salesian is therefore long suffering, patient, with a heart as large as the heart of God. We know that Don Bosco loved to cite Paul’s Hymn to Love – even though he might not have known that “loving kindness” is one of the standard ways of translating of God’s hesed.

The pope goes further to remind us that “genuine spiritual accompaniment always begins and flourishes in the context of service to the mission of evangelization.” (EG 173) Missionary disciples accompany and form missionary disciples. This is not unfamiliar at all for a founder who found his first followers among his own boys. A wonderful and salutary reminder to us that we are always in the bosom of Church, sharing her mission – and that our young people too are called, along with us, to accompany people to the Lord who is communion and love.

F i n a l l y, that can missed: to be

a little note easily be we learn pat ient w i t h

our young people because we ourselves have experienced the patience of God – not least through our own experience of spiritual accompaniment. “Today more than ever we need men and women who, on the basis of their own experience of accompaniment [desde su experiencia de acompañamiento], are familiar with processes which call for prudence, understanding, patience and docility to the Spirit, so that they can protect the sheep from wolves who would scatter the flock.” (EG 171) And even more clearly: “Our personal experience of being accompanied and assisted, and of openness to those who accompany us, will teach us to be patient and compassionate with others, and to find the right way to gain their trust, their openness and their readiness to grow.” (EG 172) Don Bosco is an excellent example here, with his long experience of being accompanied, first by don Calosso, and then by don Cafasso – an experience that did not come to an end with his priestly ordination.

Every Salesian as a spiritual guide of young people – we can imagine Don Bosco smiling down from the bosom of God upon his past pupil Jorge Maria Bergoglio and upon all of us, as we are led, by the mysterious and wonderful ways of the Spirit, to rediscover an essential aspect of the Salesian charism.

Fr Ivo is the General Councillor for Formation in the Salesian Congregation.

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INTERVIEW Joaquim Lobo

Fr Fabio Attard, is a General Councillor for Youth Pastoral Apostolate at the Salesian headquarters in Rome. He was invited by the Panjim Province to deliver a seminar on ‘Salesian Youth Ministry’ which he did passionately, sharing his insightful observations and experiences along the way. Here he engages himself in a candid talk with the editor.

1. Don Bosco began the Salesian Congregation to work for the young. Are Salesians today true to its charism?

One characteristic of the congregation is working for the young. Don Bosco began the congregation from his experience. There he made a paradigm shift towards the adolescents. They were the subjects of his pastoral experience. His proposition is towards processes, not activities. He formed leaders with point of views.

Don Bosco worked with the young, for the young:

Michael Rua was 14 and John Cagliero was 13 years old. He was a believer in the young and the one who raised their standards. He believed that if we share our experience with them, the growth will take place. In the processes lies the wholistic growth.

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2. You have met youth and youth animators of all 5 continents of the Salesian world. What is your experience?

Beyond all the cultural, social, continental differences, when we meet the young at the level of the heart, it is the same authentic, legitimate, challenged heart. They have desire for life, truth, authenticity. Youth want to meet persons with good character and values. They respond to these people. Do young find these models? Are we challenged enough to listen to the heart of the young? When I meet the animators, I see so much of experience. When they meet together, there is explosion of this experience. I feel, how great it is to be a Salesian!

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3. What is that special thing Salesians offer the youth?

Family Spirit. Valdocco was a family. Don Bosco favoured it. Amoris Laetitia of Pope Francis is a protagonist of the family. We must see families as subjects that promote experience. Young enjoy coming to the house they feel at home.

4. What is Salesian Youth Ministry (SYM)?

SYM is listening to God’s call. It is listening to youngsters in need. It is giving all of ourselves to their service. This ministry is done through charity, patience and gentleness, especially to the most in need. SYM is being servants of the young. Within the steriophonic call, we give them experience.

7. Do you love the work you do?

I am passionate about it.

8. What is your personal interest?

Reading history, moral theology, evolution of cultures, disappearance of cultures and civilization, post modernism, theological development of Pope Benedict, history of saints, biographies - to study characters like Teresa of Avila...

9. Your message to the youth animators and the youth.

Consider life as a gift given to you. Deepen it, enjoy it, cherish it, share it. Real love is multiplied by division.

5. Are Salesians formed enough to be animators of the young?

When we talk of formation, we talk of human, spiritual and person development, not materialistic formation. It is a shepherd formation for pastoral good. It is a formation toward attitudes and mentality. It is a process where one receives education. This challenge is not fully met.

6.

What are y o u most engaged i n presently?

I am engaged with myself to know what God is asking from the formation ministry.

I am also engaged in being available, listening a n d responding. The tension of engagement is translated into study and research. If you want change to happen, be the change.

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Volney Fernandes SDB

MORAL EDUCATION Matthew Coutinho SDB

How To

Educate People to be GOOD

Down through history, education has had two great goals: to help people become smart and to help them become good. Theodore Roosevelt says, “To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” Concern over the moral condition of society is prompting a re-evaluation of the family’s and school’s role in teaching values. Increasing numbers of people across the ideological spectrum believe that our society is in deep moral trouble.

The disheartening signs are everywhere: the breakdown of the family; the deterioration of civility in everyday life; rampant greed at a time when one in five children is poor; and, an omnipresent sexual culture that fills our television, movie screens and digital media gadgets with sleaze, beckoning the young toward sexual activity at ever earlier ages.

How is it that all the good work we do in moral education and catechesis does not seem to make an impact on the moral living of people in general and on young people in particular?

Where have we gone wrong? Why are moral education and moral living so easily sidelined, subjectivized, and relativized? How can we go about this task of educating the young to virtue today? All of us - teachers and parents have this challenging goal before us. As is evident we do not have any easy solutions.

But perhaps if we can take the problem as a

challenge, and retrieve our traditions we may be able to save the very soul of our society.

Here are a few reflections that may help us as parents and educators of the young made from a secular perspective.

William Kilpatrick in his book Why Johnny can’t tell right from wrong presents the sad state of affairs that exists in the field of moral education. He attributes the problem to the style of moral education that is prevalent today called the “value clarification” or “decisionmaking” approach and he proposes instead the “virtue and character formation” style that has been the traditional approach.

WHAT IS CHARACTER EDUCATION – VIRTUE FORMATION? Let us take a look at this proposal of moral education by means of character formation.

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Character Education is an approach that emphasizes good example and encourages students to develop good habits of behavior.

It means talking directly to children about right and wrong behavior, but it also has to do with creating a certain kind of family and school environment of ethos. And that means paying attention to discipline codes, reward and recognition systems, service to the school, chores in the family and service to the community. In this way boys and girls become accustomed to acting in ways that are good for themselves and good for society.

Character must be broadly conceived to encompass the cognitive, affective, and behavioral aspects of morality.

Good character consists of knowing the good, desiring the good, and doing the good. Families and schools must help children understand the core values, adopt or commit to them, and then act upon them in their own lives.

The cognitive side of character includes at least six specific moral qualities: awareness of the moral dimensions of the situation at hand, knowing moral values and what they require of us in concrete cases, perspective-taking, moral reasoning, thoughtful decision-making, and moral self-knowledge. All these powers of rational moral thought are required for full moral maturity and citizenship in a democratic society.

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People can be very smart about matters of right and wrong, however, and still choose the wrong. Moral education that is merely intellectual misses the crucial emotional or affective side of character, which serves as the bridge between judgment and action. The emotional side includes at least the following qualities: conscience (the felt obligation to do what one judges to be right), self-respect, empathy, loving the good, self-control, and humility (a willingness to both recognize and correct our moral failings).

At times, we know what we should do, feel strongly that we should do it, yet still fail to translate moral judgment and feeling into effective moral behavior. Moral action, the third part of character, draws upon three additional moral qualities: competence (skills such as listening, communicating, and cooperating), will (which mobilizes our judgment and energy), and moral habit (a reliable inner disposition to respond to situations in a morally good way).

WHAT DOES A MORALLY GOOD PERSON LOOK LIKE? We could ask ourselves: What does a morally mature person look like? While we know that all morally mature people are not alike, we find some significant similarities in their ways of behaving. One of the essential factors we notice in conscience formation and moral development is that the development of the

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whole person is involved. The following three factors mirror what we noted about the cognitive, affective and behavioral aspects of moral education.

Morally mature persons have good moral insights, which are the cognitive element of our experience. It implies an adequate knowledge of good and evil, of basic moral values and disvalues, rights and duties, norms and rules.

It calls for a balancing and discernment in the various circumstances of our life. It enables us to look at the problem, to analyze and to decide what is the best thing to be done. One acts on a basic principle of justice and care for others.

These morally upright persons act with moral passions, which are the affective and emotive elements in our moral experience. There is need not only to understand and know what to do but also to call upon certain affections that will enable movement towards the accomplishment of goals. Emotions provide us with the energy to choose. We feel empathy for those who suffer and this leads us to reach out in service to them.

We feel anger at injustice and are impelled to bring about social change.

As time goes by we feel a growing at t ract ion for what is good and we are

drawn to doing what is good.

And, finally these persons of moral integrity are marked by moral skills which enable them to act upon knowledge and affections. It leads to a sustained and committed pursuance of goals to which they are drawn, both by their reason and feelings. The skills help them transform desires and judgments into decisions that are sometimes called virtuous actions which ultimately lead to virtuous living.

In the end it is the presence of these three factors that make morally mature persons and morally good consciences. Hence, our educational and pastoral interventions must not be focused ONLY on ‘teaching the right values’ or ‘getting the right emotions in place’ or ‘getting the right behaviors from our charges’. Every one of our initiatives needs to be holistically planned with a cognitive, affective and behavioral component.

This will ensure that every aspect of the personality of our young people will be suitably formed and educated towards moral maturity which is never a finished product but a constantly evolving project. Good luck to all of us in our endeavors.

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Fr. Matthew Coutinho sdb, belongs to the Salesian Province of Mumbai and is currently professor of Catholic Theological Ethics at the Jerusalem Campus of the Salesian Pontifical University.

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NEED OF THE HOUR Vivian Andrews SDB

Sex Education

A Formative Tool in Accompanying the Young What is Sex Education?

Sex education or sexuality education or sex and relationship education are widely used terms to mean education about the reproductive system, sexual interaction and other facets of human sexuality like sexual development, reproduction, hygiene and relationships. It is a process of gaining knowledge and developing a mind-set and forming attitudes about sex, sexual identity and human relations. It also touches upon issues like contraception and prevention of HIV and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Overcoming Social Stigma While rural Indian society thrives on child/ teenage marriage, the sexual education of children and teens is ironically considered a taboo. Even urban youngsters are most often left in the lurch to handle sudden bodily changes all by themselves. ‘Sex is not to be spoken of…’, ‘It is supposed to be understood…’, ‘Children w i l l understand as they grow up…’, Nobody taught us about sex, so why teach our children?...’

These and ot hers

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are cliché views held by many of the older generation. Quite the contrary, sex education should ideally begin at home. Parents/ Guardians ought to be the first instructors of sex education for their children because from a tender age, a child learns to show love and learns how to respond to affection, and how to behave in different social relationships and situations.

Children even learn about their sexuality when their parents bathe them, change their clothes, speak or play with them. As they grow from children to adolescents they consistently pick-up things about their sexuality. However, most parents/guardians are uncomfortable talking about sex to children, be they preteens, adolescents or young adults. Parents usually shrug off the responsibility to avoid uncomfortable or embarrassing situations.

In schools, biology teachers often skip pages having sexual content and leave the matter for self-study by students. If taught, it is usually only superficial with questions and doubts treated as unwelcome guests.

Their natural curiosity not being met with adequate a nswers, youngsters turn

to their peers, the internet and to pornography for answers. No surprise that we have a rather alarming situation of rampant pornography usage by children and adolescents. Many also begin experimenting with sex at an early age. The National Aids Control Organisation (NACO) website states, “most young people become sexually active during adolescence, in the absence of right guidance and information”. The chief cause of teenage pregnancies is incorrect information about sex from peers, inadequate or no sex education at all. If young people were educated on the issue they would have at least given it a thought and would have been better prepared to deal with the choices of life. Whatever be social stigma attached to sex and sex education, we better overcome it and address the issue of the sexual education of our young people with frankness, openness and prudence.

discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality including diverse cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like abortion and contraception. ▶ Besides, sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reason why people have sex and how it involves emotions and respect for one self and other people, their feelings, decisions and bodies. ▶ Sex education helps young people to be more prepared for life changes such as puberty and are able to understand family members going through menopause or ageing. It helps them know that sudden changes are okay and normal. ▶ Sex education plays a major role in addressing concerns, clearing doubts and correcting misunderstandings gained from sources such as the media and their peers.

Benefits of Sex Education It is important that sex education begins at an early age with basic information which could be a foundation upon which more complex knowledge is built over time for e.g. when they are very young, children can be educated about the parts of their bodies and their growth, their feelings, emotions and how they change at different stages, this provides a basis for more detailed information about puberty in pre-teen years. They can also at a young age be taught about viruses and germs that attack the body, this provides a basis for talking to them about infection that can be caught through sexual contact. ▶ Effective sex education helps develop a youngster skills in making decisions, handling pressure and the ability to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information and the skills to

Need of a Value Based Sex Education Many in the field of sex education and policy making are of the opinion that sex education should be purely scientific without any morality attached. “Teach them about sex and leave moral judgments to their discretion” is a widely expressed opinion. This view however, is a dangerous one as learning about sex sans values gives pornography, prostitution, rape, pre-marital sex, etc. a clean chit. Values permeate all aspects of life. In the field of sports for e.g. children are not just taught to play a particular sport but are taught along with it the values of fair play, respect for team mates, officials, etc. A driver undergoing training, is taught to respect road signals, allow the right of way for an ambulance, etc. When it comes to sex education however, many, especially in the west, hold fast to the mere teaching of the facts without any values attached, the consequence

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of which is seen today in western society and slowly also in our country as well. Part of the responsibility of sex education is therefore to integrate the scientific with the moral, informative facts with the forming of attitudes like respect, responsibility and commitment.

The consequent question arises as to who is to decide on what is right or wrong and what is appropriate or inappropriate sexual behaviour?

Views and perspectives on the issue are diverse and varied. Secular sex-education programs conducted by some NGOs may sometimes be contrary to a person’s moral or religious beliefs. Secular programs sometimes endorse pre-marital sex provided it is consensual and may also advocate the use of contraceptives as a means of AIDS prevention, birth control and prevention of unwanted pregnancies.

The Catholic Church however, views sex as a holy act within the sacred institution of marriage. With different organisations having divergent interests and views, what kind of sex education should be taught in schools anyway?

Which values are to be

promoted? Who decides on the curriculum?

Role of Catholic Institutions I would propose the teachings of the Catholic Church as they provide a rich and sound moral teaching on the issue and uphold the dignity of every person involved. Church teachings on sex could also be integrated into the secular curricula and could be used as guidelines in drawing up of a regular syllabus. Even though our present political situation may not favour such a step, Catholic schools and colleges could at least exercise a certain amount of freedom and integrate church principles in their sex education programs. We also need to keep in mind that program instructors and others involved need to be well trained and equipped with the required skills to enhance the personal, social and spiritual development of young people through sex education.

Quality sex education is the need of the hour. It is well past time that state and church educational policies incorporate a regular syllabus for sexeducation programs.

This will go a long way in building an open and healthy approach towards sex and sexuality and will help in assisting the young in making well thought out judgments and responsible decisions. Let us remember, ‘Sex is not a stigma, ignorance is!’

Vivian is a fresh perpetually professed Salesian.

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AUTHENTIC LIVING Ian Figueiredo SDB

THE AWESOME POWER to be ‘ME’

When Kevin Skinner walked onto the stage to perform at season four of “America’s Got Talent”, the stage manager, the judges and the audience snickered. And when he began to speak in a south-western Kentucky accent, informing the public quite plainly that he was an unemployed former chicken catcher, everyone laughed at him. Kevin was undeterred; he just kept smiling and being his best self. When he began to play his guitar and sang Garth Brook’s song, “If Tomorrow Never Comes”, the audience and judges loved him for it. He received a standing ovation and, in a few weeks, his fan base grew into millions. He went on to win the contest on 16th September 2009 from among more than 100,000 hopefuls. More than his appearance and his occupation, what charmed them most seems to have been his authenticity, his being a down-to-earth guy. Judge Sharon Osbourne described him thus: “He’s so

genuine, what you see is what you get. He’s not contrived, while so many who come on this show kind of get sophisticated and know how to play the game”. In later interviews and performances, Kevin Skinner’s authenticity continued to shine through.

The call to be one’s genuine self has been echoed by philosophers, poets, essayists and religious groups down the ages. Over the temple of Apollo at Delphi, Greece, one finds the inscription, “Know thyself”! Shakespeare indicated it thus, “This above all: To thine own self be true. Thou canst not then be false to any man”.

The famous author and poet Oscar Wilde brilliantly stated, “Be yourself – everyone else is already taken”. Carl Jung taught, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

In the Bible we read, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man

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looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, defines authenticity as “the choice to let our true selves be seen.”

Authentic people enjoy a sense of freedom to be who they really are – natural and without masks in their relationships, work and life.

Briefly, authenticity means erasing the gap between what a person firmly believes inside and what he reveals to the outside world.

We will agree that being authentic is easier said than done for two principal reasons: 1. We live in a society that is subtly inviting us to be ‘like others’ and to be ‘liked by others’, the unspoken message being that it’s more important to be liked than it is to be who we truly are. “Be like everyone else, if you want to be accepted by the group.” Dressing up and acting like the rest of one’s peers are to some extent acceptable. Yet, during our teen years we must develop self-esteem, learn to accept diversity and be comfortable with making personal decisions. Otherwise, we grow up with the belief that we are not good enough and will constantly try to act like others who we think are better than us. At times, this becomes a permanent way of life.

been either to retreat into isolation in an effort to protect our self-image or to project an image of ourselves that we thought others would accept, respect and love.

The consequence of inauthenticity is that we surrender the only power we have, viz., to be our original, unique selves! We become confused about who we really are. We learn to be compliant, are afraid to take risks and experience a sense of frustration and emptiness.

Three Means to Authentic Living 1. Know yourself deeply, which includes your value systems and beliefs on which you will not compromise, even if it makes you unpopular.

Then, saying “no” will come without hesitation or be followed by guilt, and “yes” will come more freely and bring joy! It is only when your actions and words are congruent with your beliefs, principles and ideals that you are genuine; a person of integrity!

2. Make a firm decision to be yourself, with the courage to be imperfect and vulnerable. Accept your strengths as well as your inner darkness – each of us has it – and do not be afraid of what others may

2. Perhaps some of us, in an effort to be genuine, have expressed our honest opinion when asked and have ended up being shamed or rejected. At other times, when we thought it right to share our tender and vulnerable selves, we may have been ridiculed and hence concluded that letting our true selves be known is not safe.

In such circumstances, the decision may have

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think of you, all the while working patiently in an effort to gain greater self-control. “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

Be honest and transparent anyway”, was the advice of Mother Teresa.

ourselves is our gift to God’, then the only way to appropriately return that compliment is by celebrating who I truly am, taking the risk to be myself over the temptation to put on a social mask, learning to make others too feel comfortable by being accepting and nonjudgmental, and remembering that the only person I need to impress is myself if I want to have something of worth to offer others!

The choice whether to be ME, or not, is mine! My daily decisions will reinforce that choice!

3. Develop healthy relationships with people with whom you can be your true self, open, honest and vulnerable. Over a period of time, as mutual trust and respect are built up, these relationships will help you to share yourself, your self-worth will grow, you will begin to feel energized and attract the attention – and envy – of others!

Fr Ian is an ex-provincial of the Salesian Province of Panjim, presently a staff member of the Opera Salesiana Teresa Gerini, Rome.

In sum, if ‘what we are is God’s gift to us and what we make of

Atal Tinkering Laboratory for Don Bosco Quepem The think tank of the Prime Minister’s office called ‘Niti Aayog’, selected Pope John XXIII High School, Quepem, a Don Bosco Institute, to set up an Innovation Lab to ignite the minds of the students from an early stage.

From the 14,000 schools of India selected for the first round, only 264 survived for final round. Don Bosco Quepem presented two projects in the final round: Providing skills to use water purifying kit for safe drinking water to the neighbouhood villages by filtering from water Manganes (Mn) and other muddy run off sediments during the rainy season; and innovation to repel the termites that attack wood and paper by using vertiver grassroots.

Michelle Travasso, Fianka Barretto and Pradeep Das presented the projects. They were accompanied

and assisted by teachers Colette Xavier, Ulyana D’Costa and Jenifa Alemao.

The ATL innovation laboratory will begin from the new academic year 2017 for which the funds have already been received. Students will benefit from the innovations like Robotics, Electronics, Mechanics, 3-D Printings, STEM technology, etc.

The lab will be opened to the neighboring schools.

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QUALITY TIME Banzelão Teixeira SDB

Your

PRESENCE

is the Best PRESENT (Gift) to your CHILD 8-year old Rohan has all the gadgets that a child could dream of – a play station, a computer, and an Iphone. On returning from school he keeps himself busy with these gadgets, since he has no siblings and his parents are away at work. Even when they return home, he continues playing with his gadgets because his mother gets busy with the household work, and his father is either relaxing or catching up with the news of the day. Though Rohan would have loved to spend time with his parents, he doesn’t mind this situation because they love him and give him all that he wants. In fact, he gets more than what he asks.

The best gift: It is true that children love to receive gifts on birthdays and other occasions.

Some parents think that giving expensive gifts to children is a concrete way of showing love for them. I’ve heard quite a few parents say, “When I was a child I did not receive any of these things because my parents couldn’t afford, but now that we can afford, we will not deprive our child of anything!”

Most parents work very hard to provide a bright future to their children – a dream home, healthy environment, good education, nourishing

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food, and wholesome entertainment. Some even vow to themselves that they will not allow tears to roll down the cheeks of their child. Parents do all this because they want to see their child happy. It is true that most parents make enormous sacrifices – including coming late from work or doing double shifts – to provide the best to their children. But very few parents realize that the best and most precious gift they can give their child is their physical presence and quality time. Surveys indicate that parents, due to many factors, get little or no time to spend with their children.

Presence as a gift: Don Bosco, the great educator, would say, “It is not enough to love your children, they must know that they are loved!” There is much wisdom in the recommendation of this great saint. The most tangible way of expressing love for our children is by accompanying them on life’s journey. The best present (gift) parents can give their child is PRESENCE. Both parents play an indispensible role in the upbringing of the child. The father, with his firm love, helps the child to grow in discipline and to pursue

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a worthy goal in life; the mother, with her tenderness and compassion, helps the child to realize that he is loved for who he is, and not for what he does.

The father who accompanies: Pope Francis has been stressing on the value of presence.

Parents must be fully involved in the lives of their children. In a Wednesday audience, he encouraged fathers to be always present in the

family. A father should “be close to his children as they grow: when they play and when they strive, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they are talkative and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they take a wrong step and when they find their path again.” Unfortunately, in many homes, the father’s role is reduced to that of the breadwinner while the upbringing of the children becomes the sole responsibility of the mother.

In other cases, the father is seen as a strict disciplinarian who is feared by the children.

A father should accompany the child on life’s journey. He should be above all a ‘friend’ to his child. Every child looks for the reassurance from his father, whether the child takes small steps or great strides in his life and career.

The unconditional love of the mother: In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis claims that a mother is a great treasure.

He says, “A mother who watches over her child with tenderness and compassion helps him or her to grow in confidence and to experience that the world is a good and welcoming place.

This helps the child to grow in selfesteem and, in turn, to develop a capacity for intimacy and empathy.” A mother’s role in the family can never be underestimated; it cannot be replaced by a maid. The emotional bonding between the mother and child cannot be explained. Physical touch, hugs and kisses that a mother bestows on the child give a strong sense of security to the child. A mother picks up the child when he falls and boosts him up when he is discouraged. Through their sacrificial love, mothers help in overcoming the self-centeredness that is creeping in our

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society. Through their lives they proclaim that love consists more in giving than in receiving.

Children needs parents more than money: When parents are fully involved in the lives of their child, they help the child to build up his confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes parents are tempted to work long hours so as to provide a better life to their children. Hence they skip significant events in which the child is involved – the annual day program, the sports day, the concert or game.

The presence of parents at such events will create a strong feeling of self-worth in the child.

Every child considers his parents as his heroes and looks for recognition from them.

I wish to conclude with a short but powerful story that I had read years back: One evening when the father was busy with some work, little Tony came and interrupted him, “Daddy, may I ask you a question?” “Yes, what is it?” replied the father. “Dad how much do you earn for an hour?” inquired the child. The father got upset and replied, “Why do you ask me such a question?

It is not good to ask people their salary.” But the child insisted, “Please daddy, I want to know, tell me how much you make for an hour.” The father replied, “I earn 300 rupees an hour.” Next, the child pleaded with the father, “Daddy, may I borrow Rs. 150 from you?” The father was furious and chased the son to bed saying, “Don’t ask for money, you get

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all that you need and more. I work hard to provide for the family. Money does not grow on trees.” Little Tony went to his room with tears in his eyes.

After some time the father felt bad for shouting at Tony and so he went to his room and called, “Tony, are you sleeping?” “No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the little boy. “I’m sorry I was too hard with you. It was a tiring day and I took out all the frustration on you. Here’s the 150 rupees you asked for.” The little

boy jumped to his feet and gave his daddy a huge hug. Then, reaching under the pillow he pulled out some crumpled notes. Putting the notes together, he handed them to his father. “Daddy I have 300 rupees now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please return home early tomorrow, I would like to have dinner with you.”

Fr (Dr) Banzelão is the Principal of Divyadaan, a Salesian Philosophy Institute in Nashik.

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FORMING A GENERATION Jason Pinto SDB

Parenting Today Challenges and possible solutions Once little Johnny was reprimanded by his father, “When Abraham Lincoln was of your age he would study by the fireplace, such was his dedication to books.” “And when he was your age”, interrupted junior, “…he was the President of America”. Parenting today is an issue which bothers both, those who are already parents as well as those to-be parents.

All of us feel some kind of nervousness as to whether I will be a good parent or not.

Earlier the child’s behaviour was the yardstick against which their parenting skills were measured. Hence good behaviour, good manners, etiquettes, etc. went on to make good parents. Along with this most Indian families being joint families, the role of grandparents and other siblings was another help which society offered us to create a conducive environment for parenting.

With the new age of science and technology, and its tentacles of globalization and materialism a lot of changes have been observed in parenting today. IPhones, iPad, tabs… have become our new life companions, even among those who are married. The whole culture around has become so individualistic. Parents find it difficult to pass on a good culture to their children. On the other hand children see their parents as a threat to their freedom and growth. Much of their formation takes place through the media rather than at home.

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Against such a background, what could be some of the possible solutions to be good parents? In this article I have dealt with just three solutions which I feel are of utmost importance.

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Prayer – Christian Matrimony being a Sacrament in which Christ April - June 2017

is present to sacramentalize the union of spouses, prayer is the most necessary ingredient to keep the family united. A family united in prayer will help to build cordial relationship between spouses, siblings, parents and children, neighbours, relatives, etc. As parents we need to take our prayer life seriously. Unfortunately in many of our Christian homes, there is a sense of loss in our prayer life today, due to work, coaching classes, T. V. serials, etc. The dictum “a family that prays together, stays together” is a powerful statement in this regard.

2

Sharing of Experiences – The Dutch writer and theologian Henri Nouwen in his book ‘The Wounded Healer’ states that “…when our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers”. In life we encounter different types of experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. True, our bad experiences make us feel bitter. But coping with it and sharing it with others can lighten our pain. It can be a source of inspiration for others as well. As parents we need to teach our children to make good choices.

formal schooling. If you as a parent are optimistic, sporty, enthusiastic, etc. the same qualities will be rubbed on to your kids as well. Negative behaviour in front of your children can inculcate negative behaviour in your children. As your child grows, you too need to grow in your behaviour towards your child. This will create a healthy environment at home and prevent overdemanding parents and happy-go-lucky kids.

To conclude, a sound prayer life based on shared experiences can be the best model to our growing kids today. Parenting is not just an art which is learnt, but an experience in which we grow day by day. In the daily humdrum of life let us live life gracefully as good parents.

Let us strive to be good parents to our children and pass on the batten of graceful parenthood to the next generation.

Fr Jason is a Salesian priest working at Don Bosco Mission Centre, Ghataprabha in Belgaum.

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Role Models– In a world where there is a clash of different ideals, as parents we are called to be good role models to our children. Studies reveal that a child learns most human traits at home, especially from his/ her parents and then during

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YOUTH Chris Valentino SDB

Do You(th)

Trust in the God

who Trusts in You(th)

All of human life and living is one great search, a continual search to know ourselves, to experience living and celebrate our journey.

From the womb to the tomb, from our ingress until our egress, our yearning is to understand life in its fullness. This yearning is a drive, a drive that leads one to many places, in many ways, in varied seeking and different experiments. This yearning is a craving to live, to love, to be appreciated, to be accepted and to be happy. Well educated or unlettered, highly qualified or professionally well settled, poor or rich, from different languages or cultures, our one constant life-goal or desire is to be loved, trusted and cherished. None of us wants a life of rejection, betrayal and desolation. Yet, through our life-experiences, we come to terms with the various trials of life, trials that disturb, depress and dement our daily living.

Oftentimes, our love refuted, our trust betrayed, our ambitions not achieved, our desires unrealised, our expectations defeated and our minds agitated, we are caught up in this chaotic search for answers that will give meaning to our life. According to L. R. Ditzen,

?

there are three ways that we can prepare for life’s trials. “I have strength within me to do it.

I am the captain of my soul. With the courage and will that is mine, I will be master when the struggle comes,” is the ancient Spartan way.

The way of Socrates is to affirm that we have minds, the faculty of reasoning and judgement, to evaluate and help us cope with the enigmas and struggles of life. “You don’t begin with yourself, your will, or your reason; rather you begin with God who is the beginning and the end. When your strength grows weak and your reason fails you, faith in the Creator gives you the power to overcome all things,” is the Christian way.

Life and life’s many layered trials are for us, a source of tremendous distress.

Caught off-guard,

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caught without a clue, stuck for an immediate solution, most of us begin to question ourselves, debase ourselves and ponder the absolute uselessness or the seemingly great big deceit, that God is caring, loving and seeks our well-being. Have You(th) ever been in this situation? Of course! Where is God when we need Him? What is God doing to ease my troubled situation? Where has God disappeared when we need Him the most?

These are the questions that auto-pop into our mind. Then begins the great downfall of many a well-intentioned human. This is more so, in particular with the Youth! This experience of neglect, rejection, dejection and desolation spiralling into depressive conditions, is a consequence of betrayal. There is no more TRUST! How many times has this happened to You(th)? Scores of times, over and over again.

You(th) begin to give up on the Christian way and opt disastrously only for the Spartan way or the Socratic way or any which way, to feel self-fulfilled or lively! Well, You(th) have no other choice, or do You(th)?

is Hard; Belief scores 50%, Trust scores 100%; Belief is Ordinary, Trust is Extra-ordinary; Belief is Starting point, Trust is End Point; Belief is Limited, Trust is Infinite; Belief is Shaking Hands, Trust is Embracing; Belief keeps Control, Trust gives up control; Belief is jumping opportunities, Trust is staying; Belief is not Time Tested, Trust passes Tough Times; Belief is Partial, Trust is Complete; Belief in God is Attempting, Trust in God is Surrender; Belief is Important, Trust is Essential…

So then, do You(th) really trust? And, if You(th) really trust in God and if You(th) truly understand trust as a two way mutual process, why do You(th) have a major problem when faced with life questions of ‘who am I’? When You(th) experience feelings of anxiety and depression; hostility and animosity; bouts of doubt and conflict; difficulties in every lifesphere, why do You(th) pass on the entire blame to God and forego pondering what could You(th) possibly do as someone ‘entrusted’ to live life in total trust in the Creator God?

Trust is a two way process. When trust begins to rust, then it is a total disaster, reducing our living and our lives to junk. Trust needs to be given and accepted. Trust is more than just mere belief. Trust is defined as “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing.” So what and how exactly are you trusting, when You(th) speak of trust? As is beautifully expressed: Belief is Doubtful, Trust is Certain; Belief is from Mind, Trust is from Heart; Belief is Lip Service, Trust is Heart Felt; Believing is Easy, Trusting

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Psalm man? him than

8 says: “what is Yet, you have made little less a God.”

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However, we have chosen to ignore this aspect of our being. We, You(th) and I are just a little less than God. Created, in His image and likeness, to be stewards of all creation, human and nature, we are constantly undermining the miracle of our marvellous being. Perhaps there is a trust issue here. You(th) feel alone, miserable, deceived and stranded when something difficult/terrible crops up in life.

The connection to God diminished by doubt, worry, fear, unanswered prayers, guilt, procrastination, are all reasons that make You(th) feel neglected by God, and this in turn unconsciously influences our assumptions of God. Psychologically it has been suggested that each of us have to depend on five needs: security, recognition, love, adventure and creativity. These are what drives You(th). These are what control You(th).

The fundamental truth, if we really trust in God who made us, is that we are here for a reason, we are here with a purpose - divine purpose, we have a divine inheritance and each of You(th) has a unique and special role to play in this earthly pilgrimage. When this aspect disappears from our thinking, doing and being, then the rot begins to set in.

The feelings of moroseness, the anguish and pain of life’s twists and turns, ups and downs begin to take a toll on our living.

T h e renowned theologian Karl Rahner offers a directorium, a r o a d map both intricate and

elaborate. He asks us to trust in the God who made us – the God of life, God of knowledge, God of our prayers, God of law, God of our daily routine, and God of the living. From an unshakeable trust in God, we can then progress to realising the unmistakable trust that God places in us. A God who trusts in us?

A God who trusts unflinchingly in You(th)?

Possible?

Of course! Just turn the question around and ask yourself ‘does God trust in You(th)?’ The way a parent trusts his/her child, similarly doesn’t God trust You(th)? God perhaps believes more in our abilities than we ourselves do! In the Book of Jeremiah, God says: “I have a plan for you, a plan which you know not, a plan for your good, a plan that will make you prosper.”

How many of You(th) have actually trusted in this promise that God makes? You(th) are the handiwork of the grand artist of all life, and incredibly the God who created You(th) is the God who is concerned, caring and devoted to You(th) through all of your life journey.

While the immensity contrasts with seeming insignificance, the clear implication is that God does take the time and effort t o look our w ay, a n d i s i nvolved i n our

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lives. Humans seem so inconsequential beside this incomparable and vast creation, yet He trusts us enough to be little less than Him in our daily living! You(th) are too caught up in the unconscious processes of ingestion, digestion, absorption, assimilation, respiration, excretion, secretion, motion, sensitivity, and reproduction, without stopping to think for a moment that You(th) are but a little lower than [God] and thus, not an accidental by-product of an accidental evolutionary process. You(th) are entrusted with caring for and creating a better world, a better society. No matter, how miserably You(th) have failed thus far, God trusts You(th) sufficiently, that You(th) are indeed capable of continuing to be stewards and co-creators, trusting in Him. Just as a parent tells their son on the day of the big game, or their daughter on the day of the big exam, “I believe in you, you can do this”, or just like a good manager delegates new responsibility to their employee, saying “I believe in you”, similarly God “more than believes in us.” He trusts that we are capable, that we can do it, and that we can handle the responsibility.

You(th) are special, You(th) are set apart, You(th) are chosen and You(th) are created for a divine purpose. So having been approved by God, conscious that God reposes complete trust in your abilities, knowing that G o d loves and cares for You(th), what have You(th) done to be emboldened and steer clear of deceit, flattery, greed, impurity and errors of any kind?

What can You(th) do to be more trustworthy in His eyes? Trust is dependability – a

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deep confidence in someone. We tend to trust people who are reliable, who are consistent and who don’t change with the season or the wind direction. Ever think that maybe God is trusting You(th) in such fashion? Is your faith strong and solid enough that God could trust You(th) totally without reservations? OR are You(th) a trust-killer? Do You(th) lose faith in God the minute circumstances don’t go your way; put yourselves at the center of your relationship with God, rather than God at the center (What can I do for God, rather than what can God do for me?); keep God at the periphery of your lives, not at the center? The Bible is replete with instances of God who trusted in the ability of You(th) to be His witnesses – Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Samson, Samuel, Saul, David, Solomon, Jeremiah, Ruth, Esther, Judith, the Macabee brothers, Mary, John the Baptist, Jesus and Paul. In the film Bruce Almighty, God says: People want me to do everything for them. “What they don’t realise is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle. Be the miracle.” So then do You(th) trust in the God who trusts in You(th) to transform yourself and the world?

SANGATI

Chris is a Salesian priest, passionate about Christ, Peace, Youth and Media.

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GROWTH MINDSET Monce C Abraham

Growing out of the Box I was watching a Vinod Khosla interview recently. For the uninitiated, he is amongst the bigger Indian names in Silicon Valley with immense contributions to the ecosystem as an Entrepreneur and Venture Capitalist; and who even at 62 years of age, still continues to learn and hustle at a pace which would put most folks half his age to shame. From the interview, in Vinod’s words: “One of the really interesting things I have observed is that how nothing you learn is relevant to what you end up doing. But what is really important is to be able to go into any area and learn about it very rapidly”.

As someone who is super curious, excited and always learning about ventures, businesses and scaling them, in a day and age where changes (technological, demographic, political etc) happen at lightning pace, I couldn’t help but dwell on as to how important Vinod’s advice was.

I have discussed with some leading educators in India including the leadership at my Alma Mater, St. Columba’s School, New Delhi as to how important it is for us to plan for the entire generation of students who will be going through the rigor of our current education system, and whether they will be equipped for the world they step into 13 years from now. If

we were to turn back time by just 10 years, the world had just got it’s official first commercial smartphone (Thank you, Steve Jobs) and within a decade of this, we are now seeing what is the Smartphone Revolution. With the advent of Artificial Intelligence and Automation, Driver-less Cars, Inter-planetary Space Travel, Humans merging with Machines and other changes still unknown and in the offing, the world is expected to accelerate at a much rapid pace, than ever before. I will stay away from specific domains which might/ might not be relevant for the youth 13-15-20 years from now, but instead focus on what might be helpful to them no matter where their interests align.

One can’t stress enough as to how many times we all have been at places where we feel we have fixed abilities or talents, and we more or less accept the version of ourselves that has been handed out to us by ourselves and the external world, rarely seeking our way out of our cocoons to learn more about who we really are. With such an internal belief system, it will be difficult for us to adapt, let alone thrive, in such a changing world. At such times, it would serve us well to remember that one can improve upon and master any skill set one might be internally drawn to (different from others telling us which skill sets we ought to master), regardless of how we fare the first

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few attempts. This entails embracing what is termed the ‘Growth Mindset’.

The Growth Mindset is different from a Fixed Mindset in that on being faced with minor setbacks, one knows that one has not just succeeded yet at mastering the skill and is willing to put in the deliberate practice required to reach the level desired, not getting disheartened by the setbacks but looking on them as feedback as to where one needs to improve further. Those with a Fixed mindset on the other hand look at setbacks as final sentences and labels, telling themselves that

just given up on what they wanted to do the times they were told they were not good enough (yet), the world sure would have been a whole lot different today.

As families, one way to ensure we are supporting the youngsters right is to ensure we cheer their efforts to make progress as against compliment them on their innate skills such as intelligence or ability. In fact, it has been found that simply praising youngsters for their innate talents actually takes them off on the road to true learning, as they want to protect the image that they now have of themselves.

Wherein when we are encouraging Every champion a growth mindset was once a contender in individuals, we that refused to give up. see them taking on more challenges to get better at what they are trying to achieve. Do note that empty praise for just trying or simply telling youngsters they have what it takes, tends to not much results or achievement at the end of the day.

maybe they were just born with fixed amount of intelligence, talent or ability; and that the setback means this skill-set is not meant for them, or will make them look dumb for not being able to master it quickly. If folks like Oprah Winfrey, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, J K Rowling, Michael Jordan, Eminem, etc. had

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Fun Fact : For 85+% of my life till date, I have been on the ‘healthier’ side. I was the kid in school who consciously stayed away from track events especially and believed anything which involved moving my generous weight from point A to point B, oscillating through feelings of death, desolation and despair, was not meant for me.

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If anyone had told me in November 2015, that not only was I going to publicly declare my attempt at a Half Marathon towards a cause, but post completing my First Half Marathon (21.1 Km), I would also end up doing a Full Marathon

be willing to put yourself in a position where you can fail publicly and spectacularly.

Here’s an instagram which shows how well my training for my First Ultra Marathon went during the same year: During your practice runs, by the 11th km, you now notice your palms getting pale & wrinkled as if you have kept them soaked in water for hours - You check with your friends in #WDR (West Delhi Runners) who suggest your body is probably undergoing acute dehydration.

Given you can’t change the weather, quitting training is not an option (you don’t want to embarrass yourself, or let others down, on the day) & you certainly don’t intend to die attempting this, you just improvise & stock up on Electral to keep going - Attempting my 1st Ultra Marathon (50K) within my first year of long distance running, representing the kids at @9ism9, in just one more month. *panic - never sure if it’s a good thing*

(42.2 Km) and then an Ultra Marathon (50 Km) within my first year of attempting long distance running, (Less than 2 percent of the world’s population has attempted, let alone complete, a Half Marathon); I would have simply laughed it off, dismissing even the idea of something like that happening in a parallel universe. If someone like ‘me’ can manage to do this and grin at the end of it, so can you - that is, if you have the curiosity and the foolhardiness to test what you are capable of achieving, should you

So hey, keep smiling with your whites, and go ahead and do what you have to do - don’t worry about the falls, bruises, scars et all that you might encounter on your way forward You have ‘no idea’ what you might achieve, and how many people you might inspire along the way. Take care, and keep winning!

Monce is the Founder and Chairman at THEV Consulting.

Link to original post specifically written for Sangati: http:// monceabraham.com/growing-out-of-the-box/

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HOLISTIC LIFE Anthony da Silva SJ

A HEALTHY LIFE-STYLE A SOUND MIND IN A SOUND BODY Since ancient times our ancestors have taught us that to care for our body and our mind, is to care for our whole self. Hence the popular saying, “a sound mind in a sound body” has served as the foundation for building a healthy life-style even to this day. From athletes to academics, from housewives to professionals, from youth to Seniors, all strive hard each day to train the physical body as well as the psychological mind to be sharp, alert and fit.

Total fitness is the ideal of the day.

Every human is made up of body-mind-spirit.

The greater the balance between these three components the greater is the wellness, or healthiness of the individual. Wellness is not merely the absence of disease but a positive sense of well-being, happiness, or being at peace with oneself and with others. Psychology speaks of wellness as a state of physical, mental and emotional integration within the person.

That the human is made up of body and mind is more easily accepted by most. But the more recent focus on the “spirit” as an important component of our health puzzles many. Of course, religions of the world have been proclaiming the reality of the spirit in our lives; unfortunately, many relegate the spirit

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to religion only, and fail to associate it with healthy living.

TOWARDS A HEALTHY BODY: 3 STEPS PHYSICAL FITNESS: Scientific research points out that exercise and physical activity improves our daily health. For example, daily exercise and physical activity can help prevent diseases such as heart diseases, diabetes, and bone diseases.

Exercise delivers oxygen and nutrients to our tissues and helps our cardiovascular system work more efficiently. Even senior citizens are encouraged to remain active. Any physical movement is a plus for the body and keeps the body flexible and fit especially in old age.

Additionally, physical exercise triggers neurological changes and a release of chemicals in the brain which give the individual a “feel-good” mood of greater selfconfidence and well-being.

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HEALTHY EATING: The body has to be responsibly nourished such that it remains healthy and fit. Unfortunately, not all foods serve the body well. Some foods such as those with excessive fats and oils could do damage to the body by adding unnecessary body weight and blocking the cardio-vascular system.

Other foods with excessive sugar content could lead to a rise in blood sugar levels with a potential for diabetes and strokes. In general, healthy eating means a balanced diet of meats, fish, vegetables and fruits. Nutritionists now encourage the eating of a variety of dried fruits and nuts as this is a healthy way to supplement one’s daily intake of regular food.

RIGHT BODY WEIGHT: Maintaining right body weight is a challenge for our times. Given the varieties of tempting foods, and attractively packaged desserts and sweets, the battle of the bulge becomes a life-long enterprise! However, there can be no slackening on this front, as unwanted weight gain is always a liability to healthy living. Physical fitness and healthy eating, are the two building blocks for right body weight.

TOWARDS A HEALTHY MIND: 3 STEPS THINK POSITIVE: Psychologists now believe that positive thoughts of peace, forgiveness, love, compassion and so on, shape our behavior positively. Thoughts of self-esteem, confidence, thankfulness, appreciation, empathy, create positive attitudes and improve greatly the quality of our relationships with others. The famous book, The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent

Peale, continues to be a bestseller even today, 65 years after it was first published.

AVOID NEGATIVITY: We all know the human tendency to become angry and aggressive, to keep grudges, to entertain thoughts of revenge or maintain a negative attitude towards others or life in general. Such negativity drains out the positive energies within us and tends to leave us vulnerable to stress, high blood pressure, and frustration.

Furthermore, negative emotions of anger, jealousy, revenge, hatred, etc. imprison us in our negativity and prevent mental health.

In fact, negativity promotes illness and pathologies.

DEVELOP MINDFULNESS: Mindfulness is the art of increasing our awareness of who we are and how we function in life.

The more mindful we are of ourselves, the easier it becomes to be mindful of the other.

Mindfulness improves not only our selfknowledge but also leads to more empathic relationships with other people. Mindfulness makes us more sensitive to the needs of others and more open to forgiving others rather than entertaining thoughts of revenge and hatred.

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TOWARDS A SPIRIT: 3 STEPS

HEALTHY

BEING IN TUNE WITH THE INNER SELF: The road to the inner self is by raising our levels of consciousness through

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reflection, meditation, prayer, etc. Such silent and prayerful practices put us in touch with the spirit that dwells within us. This is often accompanied by feelings of peace, quiet and general well-being. Deep breathing exercises done mindfully greatly facilitate getting in touch and staying in tune with our inner self.

EXPANDING OUR CONSCIOUSNESS: Religions teach us that we should be conscious of God’s spirit dwelling within us as well as beyond us, in the entire created world. By being aware of the spirit, and connecting with the cosmos, we expand our consciousness. For example, enjoying a sunset or sunrise, admiring the moon and the stars, relishing a deep friendship, etc., expands our consciousness; we feel one with others and peace within ourselves.

BENEFITS OF FOLLOWING A RELIGION: Today researchers point out to a wide variety of benefits that accrue to followers of a religion.

For example, researchers say that people who regularly attend religious services enjoy a boost in their happiness. Such people also suffer from less stress and enjoy greater satisfaction in life. Religion also supplies meaning to many events in one’s life, especially tragic or sad events which defy explanations. All religions teach forgiveness and offer special rituals and practices to preach and practice forgiveness.

Such practices bring peace and reconciliation into the lives of people, thus improving their physical as well as mental health.

The writer is a Jesuit priest and works at Xavier Centre, Porvorim, Goa.

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YOUTH ALIVE

Charlene Farrell

Youth Today...

The Future Tomorrow Ever look deep into the eyes of a young, enthusiastic child? In those watery pools is insight into dreams and aspiration as high as the sky. As the child grows, especially in a world like the one we live in today, that spark seems to dim. It dims, but is never extinguished. As adults, one of the most common gripes we have is the behaviour of our youth. We complain about the things they do, about the habits they inculcate and yes, about their lack of respect.

What we do need to focus on is the fact that our youth are put through things we never imagined. The things they have to deal with are beyond compare. Having to make choices on a daily basis, having to understand right from wrong, having to be able to decide from the many options out there, one might think these kids have it all. Reality is very different. With too much choice also comes many bad choices.

Our perspectives are always one sided. The fact about the adults today is that very often, we fail to see just how difficult things can be. In our heads, we have built up these privileged lives and castles in the sky as their reality.

What we really need to do is appreciate the complexities of the lives they lead. Another thing we need to do is take responsibility for all the things we grumble about. Many a time I have had conversations with parents telling us how unreasonable their teenagers are. Well hello, they got that way because they were allowed to get that way by none other than their overindulgent parents. Young lives are being lost every day because we give into their every demand. Bikes, cars and phones that cost an arm and a leg, are handed out like candy used to in our day. We allow our lethargy to overcompensate with monitory love.

Our youth is smarter and more analytical than they have ever been. They are completely capable of reaching the pinnacle of life. But do we give them the credit they require? With our constant double standards and with our own anxieties and doubts, we are actually obstructing their growth.

Our problem is not that they can’t achieve what they set their minds to, because now more than

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ever, our youngsters are actually achieving success in wonderful new avenues. Our problem is the fact that we believe too little and we doubt everything. Yes, we were brought up in a time where we were timid, we took less risks and we lived according to what our elders expected of us. In the same way, we also need to stop living vicariously through them. A lot of youth today, have huge demands placed on them. Some of us adults think that it is our right to make our children do the things we didn’t. Trying to realise our dreams through them is unfair.

of whom seem to have lost their way. But all do not fall under that category. The ones who seem lost too, really aren’t. Being able to have the patience to understand what they are going through will help them come a long way. Our fault is in the condescending way we speak, in the examples we set, in the lack of thought we put into our communication. A few tweaks here and there can go a long way in helping our youth find their way. We all look forward to a wonderful future. Our youth today, are our future tomorrow and the most productive investment we could ever make.

Our youth is a talented lot of individuals, some

Charlene is a counsellor and a teacher; she writes for ‘the Goan’.

PERFECT CHOICE Brian Crasta SDB

Youth and Their Role Models Recent studies show that good role models are required in the lives of the youth today. As they grow up, youth look for a person whom they can emulate. He /She will either build or destroy the life of a youngster.

A good role model inspires, encourages and guides the choices and development of the young. The choice of the person happens with the growth in admiration towards the person and or their talents. There may or may not be any similarities in each other’s character.

Many youngsters normally imitate celebrities or famous personalities - actors, sports persons, singers, musicians, writers, etc. especially those of the glamour world. Do they really help them live a good and meaningful life? Normally not.

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They deceive them by their behaviours.

Youngsters who are gone on to become saints in the Church have emulated persons with extraordinary character who led their lives by example. Take for instance, St Dominic Savio who followed Don Bosco gained perfect happiness recipe from him. Young Don Bosco in turn admired St Francis de Sales. This admiration towards the person did not exclude the reverence for Jesus and Mary. They were for them more than only role models: Mary was their guide and protector, Jesus was their life itself! The main focus of a religious ought to be Jesus and Mary.

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Brian is a newly professed Salesian about to begin his philosophy studies at Divyadaan, Nashik.

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BARE NECESSITIES Nandini Cardoso

NEEDS

and

You buy a DVD for five hundred rupees and after watching the movie if you do not put it back into the cover, the disc gets scratches, you cannot use it. When you bought it its price was five hundred rupees but now its value is zero.

Let us talk about a different situation. You saved five hundred rupees from your pocket money but wanted to buy things worth seven hundred rupees. You realized that it was very important to buy those things at that time so you borrowed the additional amount from a friend. Now would you like the value of those items to be zero? No. Different people have different ways of spending and saving money. Saving means setting aside a certain amount of money you get so that after six months or one year you will have a fair amount to own something special. You have probably heard someone say” I have to have that latest mobile phone” or “I must have the latest designer bag”. Can you analyse it as a need or a want.

WANTS One of the most basic concepts of economics is want vs. need.

What are they exactly?

A need is something you have to have, something you can’t do without. A good example is food.

If you don’t eat, you won’t survive for long.

Many people have gone days without eating, but they eventually ate a lot of food. You might not need a whole lot of food, but you do need to eat.

A want is something you would like to have. It is not absolutely necessary, but it would be a good thing to have. A good example is music. Now, some people might argue that music is a need because they think they can’t do without it. But you don’t need music to survive. You do need to eat.

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These are general categories, of course. Some categories have both needs and wants. For instance, food could be a need or a want, depending on the type of food.

You need to eat protein, vitamins, and minerals. How you get them is up to you (and your family). You can eat meat, nuts, or soy products to get protein. You can get fruits and vegetables to get vitamins and minerals. You can eat yogurt or cheese to get other vitamins and minerals. You can eat bread to get still more vitamins and minerals. These basic kinds of foods are needs.

Ice cream is a want. You don’t really need to eat ice cream to survive. You can eat it to get some vitamins and minerals, but other foods like cheese and yogurt give you more of those same vitamins and minerals without giving you the fat that ice cream does. Still, ice cream tastes good to many people. They like to eat it.

They want it, but they don’t need it. They like it,

but they don’t have to have it to survive.

The difference between a need and a want is very simple till the time we go shopping.

So what is a logical solution? A better understanding of a need really is.

How do we figure out needs and wants? Ask yourself the following questions, how this item will help me. For instance, I need a watch to know the time but do I really need the most expensive one to show off.

Does that mean that we should only buy the things we need? Not at all. You can treat yourself to some wants along the way but do so only occasionally and enjoy those wants as “extras”. The good thing is that the cost of “wants” is completely within your control.

Nandini is a school counsellor. She loves working with young people and strives to make a difference in their lives.

Be a Part of the Don Bosco Family!

As a Salesian (Priest/Brother/Sister) Contact: Fr Joel D’Souza, Don Bosco Panjim (North Goa & Maharashtra) Ph: 9421117819 joelmaxsdb@rediffmail.com Fr Austin Fernandes, Don Bosco Benaulim (South Goa) Ph: 9420906544 austinworld69@gmail.com

Fr Kiran Nazareth Don Bosco Youth Centre Shirva (Karnataka) Ph: 9765958832 kinnanaz13@gmail.com Rector of any institution

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As a Benefactor / Donor Contact: Fr Loddy Pires, Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Don Bosco Panjim, Goa 403001 loddyp@gmail.com Ph: +91 832 221986 ext 276 Mob:+91 8762801749

To BOOK MASSES & Make ONLINE DONATIONS visit: www.donboscopanjim.com As a Volunteer Contact: Director, Konkan Development Society, Odxel, Goa. Ph: 0832 3260711 / 09881810953

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YOUTHFULNESS

Aliester D’Souza SDB

COSMETICS, HAIR-DYES and BOTOX

Make-up or Fake up

“What goes up must come down” Sir Isaac Newton.

But aging, like pricing, defies the law of gravity and you can do nothing about it.

The young want to grow up while grown-ups want to remain young. We tolerate aging as long as we can obtain our learner’s license at 16, get the right to vote at 18 and (hopefully!) attain wisdom by 65. But when it brings along dark spots, grey hair and wrinkles and you begin to see yourself as fat, old and ugly; it is much of a problem.

Thanks to the thoughtfulness of those philanthropists who market creams, keshkala and surgeries, it is no longer very difficult to enjoy youth even as we stand on the banks of LIFE and morosely watch it ebb and flow in months, years and decades. Has responsibility or nature faded your jet black curls to pepper-and-salt to white? Don’t worry; we have hair dyes – black, brown and blonde. Is your skin all wrinkled up like un-ironed linen?

Relax, we have Botox to fix it. Have the years made you fat, sluggish and slow? Roll out your yoga mat or run an extra mile on the

treadmill. Therefore, fear not all you who feel maligned by the scourge of age for, as Virginia Postrel says, cosmetics makers sell ‘hope in a jar’ – creams and portions that promise youth, beauty, sex appeal and even love.

The obsession for youth and the craze to be young-for-ever or 18-till-I-die stems from the vast bounty of youthfulness. It is an age so lively in spirit, rich in adventure and romantic in thought that it makes every single person crave it all over again. Youth is a world of dreams where there is so much to lose, so much to gain, so much to fight for and so much to change.

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Yet, it is so brief that no sooner does one taste the sweetness of its freedom than one i s

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caught in the sticky web of responsibility instigated by adulthood. It’s the nipped-in-the bud ‘Black-Monday’ feeling. And in a society that proclaims liberty as a mode of living, we all want to live young and wild and free.

Since young blood dominate public space, we don’t want to feel outdated, jaded and underrated but want to be identified with the young. Consequently we recourse to fashion, technology and (of course) the ‘hope in a jar’.

And while so many of us are trying to buy youth, I hear Pablo Picasso cry: Youth has no age.

Youth has less to do with ‘young looks’ and more to do with a young heart, mind and soul.

This is elaborated by Samuel Ullman who when speaking about youth says: It is not a time in life; it is a state mind, it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it’s a matter of will (soul), quality of imagination (mind) and a vigor of emotions (heart). It’s the freshness of the deep springs of life. Thus even as the body ages, and greying hair and wrinkles become the order of the day we can still be young at soul. For while the body must perish; the soul is eternal and its seasons are beyond time. Youth is the season of the soul!

youthfulness, Sophia Loren says, we will truly have defeated age.

Just as a termite-ridden piece of furniture cannot be simply polished and considered as new, we cannot paint ourselves red and black and deem young. In order to regain our youth we have to be subject to a radical transformation. Make up and facelift won’t do much if the spirit is sad, grumpy and rueful.

Let’s then change our mind and make it more energetic, flexible and optimistic. Let us make a difference for those who need our voice, passion and time. As always, the choice is ours; we can die at 25 and be buried at 85 or we could be going on 18 till we die.

In an age where loyalty is just a tattoo, love is just a quote and lying the new truth, let us not be intoxicated by the youth pretentiously portrayed by billboards, Botox and Bollywood.

Let’s rather radiate the beauty that originates from the spring of youth which swells from the soul.

Bro. Aliester is a perpetually professed about to begin his formation to Salesian

Salesian, particular Brother.

To be young is to believe in the impossible, to be ever ambitious beyond current abilities and to hope in a better world. It is to see beauty in all things. It’s about smiles, laughter and an adventurous heart. There is no place for idleness, boredom and despondency. It is all about being resourceful, dynamic and bringing creativity in your life and the lives of people you love. Perfectly encapsulated in the words of John Keats: To stay youthful, stay useful. Once we tap this source of

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STEP UP Steve Ansker Rodrigues SDB

Change begins with

You Me

Most often we make wishes and have a lot of expectations from others. Every day we observe something going wrong in our lives and in society and again these wishes and expectations pop-up; and we do nothing but ‘keep wishing and expecting things to happen’.

As I look at my own life experience I find three kinds of people: • Those who ‘wonder’ what is happening These kinds of people are those who are just drifting like a feather in the air. They do not have a will of their own. They are not concerned about the happenings around them unless and until it concerns their lives; otherwise they just flow with the current.

• Those who ‘watch’ things happen Now, when I speak of this kind of people, they basically are empty loud gongs… who see, speak and give a million suggestions to others; they have a lot of good will but ultimately their actions do not go beyond words.

and

• Those who ‘make’ things happen These people are generally ‘doers’. They make stuff happen in a very creative and pro-active way. They do not wait for another person to do what they are capable of doing.

For them, “change begins with me” is the motto. They take a lot of initiatives, thus making things happen.

And so, to which category do you belong?

We are in the category of people who watch and wonder, we tend to become spectators.

We tend to see the world as we are; we think: “Since ‘I am not doing anything...Nobody else will do anything!” If this is our attitude then we are on the wrong track…and it is high time we wake up from this slumber. It is like when you are standing on the sea shore and the waves hit your feet, while returning the waves take along with them the sand beneath your feet, as you fail to move… and you start to sink in the sand.

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The other way won’t help either. You give your suggestions and expect things to change overnight. We need to put the suggestions we give others into practice first, rather than expecting them to be done by others…keeping in mind that ‘Change begins with me.’

In this connection, I am reminded of a story of Gandhiji...

Among the hundreds of people who were waiting to visit Mahatma Gandhi, there were a mother and her young son. When it was their turn, the woman asked Gandhi to speak with her son about eating sugar.

Gandhi asked her to come back in two weeks and said he would talk to the boy then. She wondered why he didn’t just speak to her son when he was already there, but she complied with his request.

In two weeks they returned, and after waiting for a couple of hours, she was able to approach Gandhi once again.

Hearing her repeated request, Gandhi immediately spoke to the boy, who agreed to begin working to eliminate sweets.

After thanking G a n d h i for his

teach her son to not eat sugar if he himself had not taken that journey.

So remember; ■ Whatever changes you would like to see in your society begin with you.

■ Let every moment be an example of what we teach or counsel.

■ Let your very action be a reflection of what you believe.

■ The best leaders the world has ever known are the reformers who were accountable and responsible for their own change first, than the changes around them.

So let us together say, “Change begins with ME; Change begins with YOU. Change begins with US.” Let us stop complaining about the problems around us and realize that we are potentially the best solution to every problem…

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE AND ROCK THE WORLD… Steve is a newly professed Salesian his philosophical studies at Nashik.

who will pursue Divyadaan,

wise and compassionate words, the mother asked him why he wanted them to return instead of offering his advice the first time.

Gandhi replied, “Upon your visit two weeks ago I too was eating sugar.”

He explained that he could not speak of or

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LIVE LONG

Diana Charles

Importance of a

Healthy Lifestyle

The teenage years come with a lot of stresses and strains.

There is pressure to fit in with others and be part of the gang. There is pressure to do well in school and keep up one’s grades. There is pressure running from one tuition class to another. There is pressure trying to get into a good school or college. There is pressure to do well in sports and debating and dramatics. There is pressure to look one’s best. There is pressure if you are in a relationship. Dating can be one of the most traumatic experiences for the youth.

Many youngsters take up part time jobs or internships, which can add to the stress levels.

With all of this on today’s youth’s mind, it is only natural that they start taking short cuts.

A day has just 24 hours. Since the time spent in school or college cannot be cut down, without serious repercussions, the youth cuts down on his sleep, his exercise or the amount of time he spends eating. Fast food is truly fast food, just gulped down and finished with in a trice. Many youngsters eat while watching TV programmes or chatting on the phone. Multitasking is of second nature to them and quite often they do not realise the damage they are doing to their health.

What all of us should remember is that habits that we adopt when we are young tend to get embedded in our DNA for a lifetime. Those who tend to procrastinate at their tasks when young, remain procrastinators as adults because our bad habits become entrenched over the years.

Taking care of our body and mind is critical in maintaining good health long-term. So let us understand some of the ways we can do this.

Eating: During the teen years, it is easy to put on weight especially with careless eating.

Maintaining a healthy weight is important and there are plenty of sites to tell you what your ideal weight should be for your height and age. Some teenagers overdo the weight part.

To remain thin and in, they go in the opposite direction which can be very dangerous.

Bulimia and anorexia is becoming increasingly common with young girls. When they look at themselves in the mirror, however thin they may be, they still see themselves as fat and resort to throwing up or starving themselves.

Eating a balanced diet will go a long way towards maintaining one’s weight and figure.

One’s waist is a good indication of how healthy

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we are. Keep your waist size equal less than half your height. Eat a wide variety of foods, and remember that it is okay to have an occasional treat. Don’t beat yourself up over an oily chana bhatura or a gooey chocolate éclair.

Consider eliminating aerated drinks from your diet, eating at least five servings of fruits and vegetables each day, eating foods from all the different food groups, choosing healthy snacks. Always eat breakfast and avoid binge snacking. Do not eat too late at night and keep the last meal of the day, light. And ENJOY and savour your meals as you eat them. Treat food with the respect it deserves.

Exercise: Regular exercise is important for everyone, but most vital for the young when their bodies are still growing. Teens need to get at least an hour of physical activity every day. They can choose the kind of activity that appeals to them-swimming, aerobics, walking, running, tennis, football, skating… anything would work as long as they get the muscles working and the heart pumping. Weight lifting is becoming increasingly popular now, but caution is advised with all the body building products that are being heavily advertised.

Physical Activity can be broken up into smaller sessions, if 60 minutes is too much at one go.

Exercise helps release the happy hormones in our blood.

Sleep: Any number of studies will tell you that there is a direct correlation between the amount of sleep you get and how effectively you function. Students tend to pull an allnighter to study or to party and then expect to be in peak condition the next day. This just doesn’t work. 7 to 8 hours of sleep is crucial for the brain to function.

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Friendships: Yes, strangely enough this leads to healthy lifestyles. If we hang around with friends who eat right, sleep the right amount, exercise and generally have an optimistic attitude towards life, it tends to rub off on us and we too tend to adopt a similar way of living.

Laughter and sharing, helps relieve stress and anxiety. A trouble shared is a trouble halved.

So make the time to form deep friendships.

Stress Management: Do one stress management exercise a day. It could be visualization or yoga or just listening to music or reading. Have a mentor. Someone who you trust and can vent to/ approach for advice. Do things that soothe your spirit.

Nasty Habits: It is very easy to begin bad habits, like smoking, drinking or taking drugs. This is very common especially during teenage years when there are dares to smoke or drink and it is considered hip to be a smoker or drinker.

Once hooked it is very difficult to get out these habits. These products have a long term, deleterious effect on one’s health. An entire family can suffer when even just one person in it is addicted to alcohol or drugs. Nicotine addiction can lead to all kinds of diseases – cancer and heart disease being just two of them. Being able to say No to drugs, alcohol and tobacco shows grit and determination.

We have control over what goes into our bodies…be it colas or fast food or nicotine. We have control over what goes into our minds.

We should choose wisely.

The greatest gift that any youth can give his or her Nation is a Healthy Body in a Healthy mind.

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Diana is an ex-principal and a freelance journalist.

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YOUNG LIFE Ashley Noronha SDB

Thrilling Life of a Youngster

The

Many of us would have come across sayings about life … ‘Life is precious’, ‘Life is a gift’, ‘Life is love’, etc. I was amazed to hear someone say, “Life is thrilling!” and it immediately brought to mind a person with a very positive attitude to life. Recently I interacted with a Nigerian lad of 24, named Alexander, and was amazed to learn from him that he lives by himself and not with his family. When asked how he lived on his own, his answer was that it is in their culture to live on one’s own, earn by one’s self and study. This offers them freedom to decide and take personal responsibility for their lives. When asked about his own experience of living away from the family, he said he found life thrilling, with lots of adventures and full freedom to decide on how to live his life – either make it or break it.

chance to choose to live some part of his/her life again, the immediate choice would be the life of a youngster. Youngsters have a lifestyle that is literally like fireflies – they are on fire with many thoughts and are always flying around! Yes, this life is really amazing, mind blowing, challenging and finally it is full of wonder and thrill. The years of teenage and young adulthood are really delicate. It is at this

When one is given a 42 SANGATI

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point that a youngster either forms him/herself or deforms him/herself. During teenage one begins to mature and learns to stand by and think for himself, express his wishes, dreams and wills. In short this life is lived fully with vigour, enthusiasm, excitement and creativity.

One of the important stages of human life is the ‘adulthood’ stage. In this stage one begins to wonder and wander in life. There is a lot of change in the physical, spiritual and mental make-up of a person. It makes them search for answers to the questions of life. This stage can be called an ‘enlightenment’ stage as one begins to realize and search for meaning and purpose of life.

To define the life of a youngster, I was reminded of the words penned by poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: How beautiful is youth! how bright it gleams With its illusions, aspirations, dreams!

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Book of Beginnings, Story without End, Each maid a heroine and each man a friend!

When we say the life of a youngster is so thrilling, we might ask what is so thrilling in the life of a youngster? Rather, why can’t we say the whole of life is thrilling? Of course it is entirely one’s wish to live the life one chooses.

But there is something special in the lives of youngsters who are properly motivated… who are ready to give up everything for the sake of ideals. They are adventurous and creative; they realize there is no gain without pain. The difficulties they go through, the relationships they build, the lifestyle they live, the career they design, the love they give and receive, and most importantly the aspirations and the unending dreams they seek to fulfill point to nothing less than a wonder of human history.

Ashley is a Salesian studying philosophy at Divyadaan, Nashik

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I SHARE Sr Melissa D’Souza FMA

Contributing

to

It is a common experience that once students reach Std X or Std XII or college, many of the household chores that they used to usually do are taken away. Parents too quite happily tell us, “Now she/he has to concentrate on studies, so we do not allow them to do any work”. Just because a child has to answer an exam doesn’t mean he/she will do nothing but study. And if you have a look at his/her study time table, surely you will see the mobile, the TV, time for friends and time for music as part of the daily routine. ‘A house’ they say, ‘is made of bricks; but a home is made of hearts’. Hearts that truly care for the other, hearts that are ready to reach out, hearts that feel the pain of the other, hearts that give without really counting the cost. Each member of the family, whether big or small is significant and has an important role to play in building up the family.

It is said, “Love is not love until it is given away”. And who are the persons who we need to love first? Of course our dear ones at home.

After all, our family is our first school, the place where we learn the basic lessons of life, the place where we take the first steps of life and utter the first words. It’s the place where love is taught through example and service.

Simple ways in which youngsters could contribute to the family: Wish your parents: Many families today have become hotels, where the youngsters only

Our Family

come to eat and sleep. Traditions like wishing parents and siblings a ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good night’ have disappeared. Those traditions are followed only as etiquette when we pick up a call. How good it feels to be wished and to be wished back in return!

Give a helping hand: Our parents work for us. Youngsters need to realise this and not take their parents for granted. Whenever and wherever possible, it would be nice to give parents a helping hand, be it in the cooking or the cleaning, or the dusting or whatever.

Youngsters often get in the habit of just ‘throwing things’ when they enter the house.

There is a place for everything, and how nice it would be if things were kept in the proper place by the person who uses it.

Pray together: The old saying, ‘A family that prays together, stays together’ remains only on pictures and wall hangings today. Prayer is a binding force that unites the heart of God with the heart of His creatures and strengthens the ties of love between family members.

Show that you care: I remember a friend of mine telling me that when she was in Std IX, she would rise early morning and knead the dough so that her mother would get a surprise in the morning and have less work. Each one could think of small gestures to show that they care for the other.

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Setting priorities: Today media seems to have disrupted many families. Be it the TV or the mobile...any time seems to be the right time for it. Pope Francis advises every family to come together and discuss how social media is affecting their respective family. Each family could then decide without putting unrealistic prohibitions on how they can avoid getting affected by social media.

Giving time: Time is one thing that is just slipping away, that we can’t really get back.

We don’t know how much ‘time’ we have with each other. When a young sister passed away in the Province, our Provincial commented, “Sisters, life is short, let’s sincerely love each other. We do not know how much time we have.” It’s so important to spend time with our grandparents, our parents, our siblings. Once we grow old, that is what we remember.

Enjoying doing things together: It’s so beautiful to see families entering together and sitting together in Church on big feasts like Christmas or Easter. Many families also have the custom of going for a family picnic. Going out together, having meals together, discussing problems together, and working together...all these contribute in building up the family.

Sharing: There are many house maids who when given something special to eat, bring it home to share it with their children. I recall how we too as children used to share things in the same manner. A chocolate received in school was brought home, cut and divided. Through this, the value of sharing was learnt. Sharing of things, of ideas, of anything rather has a positive effect.

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Accepting corrections: This is becoming more and more difficult today. Parents find it difficult to correct children and children find it difficult to accept corrections. It’s only when we are corrected that we can grow. But parents need to learn the art of correcting. Children need to accept corrections in the right spirit.

Value of saying ‘sorry’: No one is perfect in a family. We all make mistakes, we all hurt each other knowingly or unknowingly. A simple word like ‘Sorry’ can repair harm and damage that’s done. We ought therefore to use words that restore unity. And as the Bible tells us, “Do not allow the sun to set on your anger.”

Expressing Gratitude: It is a wonderful thing to question ourselves, “When last did I thank my mum or dad or brother or sister? In today’s fast moving world, ‘Thanks’ has disappeared; we tend to take people for granted. We assume that our people at home do things for us only because it is their duty. Gratitude has the ability to bring joy and increase love.

Therefore let’s realise that all of us need to contribute in building a true home. This will lead to a better society and a better world.

Sr Melissa is in-charge of the Salesian Communications Commission of the FMA Province of Mumbai

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PEOPLE OF GOD Penny Bajaj

Encouraging Lay People

Through Small Christian Communities In 1992, the Bishops of India made a decision to make Small Christian Communities (SCCs) a pastoral reality. I had never heard of them and my immediate reaction was that I had no time.

After being invited to a series of informative and interesting talks on SCCs I decided to take the opportunity to let SCC’s revitalise my life.

In the two decades since, my experiences have been inspiring and challenging. Pope John XXIII said, “Open the windows and let the fresh air come in….” I did that and it was one of the best decisions of my life.

Over the twenty years of my involvement in SCCs I have seen the spiritual life and consolidation of a community come alive by reading and sharing the Word of God at regular meetings. The core group, strangers initially, slowly started developing a spirit of oneness. This bonding of Community led to the initiation of a variety of events which encouraged the talents of young and old.

Those who are the poorest of the poor are beacons of light in SCCs. They draw us all in like moths to a flame. Those who have less are often the richest in bestowing generosity and love on community members in times of sorrow and loss. I know of a community who every Tuesday distributes bread to all (a devotion to St Anthony) when they scarcely have a roof over their own heads.

SCC’s uniquely involve people of all stages of life. Youth and the elderly all have parts to play as well as families and single adults. In a way I see SCCs as a new way of being Church for each other. All the activities we are involved in are done with positivity and joy in serving and helping each other. Lay leaders have emerged from SCCs and walk hand in hand with our clergy, working with them in parishes.

Looking at what is to come – a Community of communities. The life and vision of the Church in India should be linked to fostering communal harmony and peace in our neighbourhoods.

The promotion of inter-religious dialogue should lead to a new cultural ethos to which SCCs can greatly contribute.

I have grown as a person after experiencing the richness of SCCs. I have seen the best of community life as well as the challenges involved in maintaining a stable and mature community. In keeping the spirit of SCCs alive and vibrant, the joys are immense. I can only thank all who have contributed to making us all fully alive Catholics and giving us the opportunity to say: You have touched us. We have grown.

Penny lives in Mumbai where she was the Co-ordinator of SCCs of the St. Joseph’s Church, Juhu, (over 4500 parishioners). She has been associated with SCCs for a period of 27 years...from starting to nourishing & getting the communities on their feet. She recently attended, with her husband, the Family Synod in Rome representing 15 million laity of India.

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LEARNING EXPERIENCE Joanne D’Souza

The Joy of Adventure

Helen Keller quoted in her book The Open Door “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all”. And nothing describes better the thrills and risks that every youngest would love to indulge in to break the monotony of life. Whether it is trying new and dangerous things like bungee jumping or sky diving or travelling to exotic locations the list of to-dos would never end.

Personally I have always craved adventure in my life. The thrill of doing something my family would not approve or sometimes accidently doing something risky without even realising it. I admit it wasn’t always good choices and I am not proud of it. But they have taught me so much about life and about myself.

I remember there was an incident when I was travelling from Mangalore to Hubli to spend Christmas with my relatives there. Since I spent many years away from home to study I was really looking forward to meeting my cousins and enjoying a quiet Christmas with them.

However I overslept and travelled an extra 150kms beyond Hubli into remote Karnataka.

It was a very scary experience for me. I boarded a local bus from there and had to change 3 buses to reach Hubli but on the way there I met so many helpful people. They were simple farmers; they didn’t know me or understand my language but they helped me without any reservation or ulterior motive. What could have

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been a frightful and harrowing experience turned out very differently because of some good people. And now when I look back at my adventure I don’t merely see it as a horrible experience but rather as an incident that gave me so much of perspective.

Every adventure has something to teach us.

We just need to see it that way. The thrills in life need not always be around clubbing or partying or just about our self. It could also be about other people or helping out somewhere.

Volunteering in an NGO working for a good cause or helping an elderly couple in your neighbourhood with groceries or paying their bills; or just spending time with a lonely person over a cup of coffee. These are some of the cheap thrills that can really make you feel good about yourself.

In my opinion we should never restrict ourselves to living by the rules. It is important to take chances and risks or you would not have lived at all. Doing things that make you happy breaks the monotony of life and is important and even healthy. But going about it in a mature manner and balancing it out is also important. Open your eyes and look for the small thrills in life that make you happy.

Sometimes you may find that these make you happier that the big things like I found out.

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Joanne is a Physiotherapist and an ADMA member.

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE Ethan Fortes

The True Makers of the 'Acche Din’ “There are great tomorrows we must encourage the youth to dream of.” - Henrietta C. Mears We all live in the ‘Acche Din’ generation that hopes for good days. But, who are the ones who can make it come true? Are they the people who wear ‘Nehru caps’, have campaigns and proclaim that they will provide a bright future?

The future of the society are not these people but the young of today, who wish to change the world. But, how can these tender minds make the world a better place?

Sam Levenson, the writer and TV personality, once said, “One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination.” The youth let their imagination run wild and dream of doing great things.

But, dumping facts on them makes their goal impossible to achieve. Every invention has come about because the dreams were worked upon to become a reality. If the youth invent things at a young age, the world would progress faster and better. During the youthful age, the mind is being formed and is ever ready to receive knowledge. It is during this

time that the creative and innovative ideas are brought out. And so, they become independent thinkers, free from all the facts of life. The most recent example is the American student, Ahmed Mohammed who at the age of 14 built a briefcase alarm clock. This was a very creative idea as no one would have thought of making it till it came into being.

All our youth have the ability to become great visionaries of the future. The only thing they need to do is believe and work towards it. Don Bosco had a dream at the age of 9 to be a shepherd of young souls. He was not only able to achieve it but went on further to start a Congregation that would continue his work. He was able to do so much only because he believed in his dreams and worked hard towards achieving it. Most of the dreams of the youth seem non-factual. But, if they believe that it can come true and work towards it they can make this “non-realistic” dream a reality.

In life we have two choices: Follow the herd or dare to be different. In the first case, a person believes that what seems impossible can never

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be accomplished, and so, instead of coming up with new ideas, the person chooses to follow the herd. In the second case, what seems impossible can be made possible. In this sense, the person works tirelessly to make their ideas a reality. Most youth choose the second option because they believe in a world that evolves.

However, the only way they can achieve it is if they possess the never-give-up attitude. This would mean that they keep working towards it even if they fail numerous times. The best example is Thomas Alva Edison who invented the electric bulb after failing a number of times.

Like it is rightly said, “Failure is the stepping stone to success.” So only if a person tries over and over again will he be able to succeed.

Ruby Dee said, “To have the courage and daring to think that you can make a difference is what being young is all about.” Youngsters have the ability to change the way the world thinks. Their dreams can instantly revolutionize the world, if they make it come true. Martin Luther King Jr., the leader of the Blacks, was in his early 20’s when he had a dream that the Blacks and the Whites would live as one. He believed in his

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dream and his ability and so was able to change the way the world thought about Blacks. The youth are the ones who can change the world and achieve great things. By doing this, they become the ‘limited editions’ in the society. All of the top companies believe in this and go on a hunt for youth so that the latter can help the company progress.

Our role in accompanying the young of today is to encourage them to never give up on their dreams. We must let them be creative, innovative and daring thinkers so that they can be the visionaries of the future. But, dreaming is not the only thing for what is the reason to dream if you don’t work. We must teach the young of today to have the nevergive-up attitude and work on their dreams.

Make them realize that they have the ability to make a difference and revolutionize the world.

You never know, our ‘Acche Din’ might actually become a reality through them.

Ethan is a novice at Salesian Training Institute, Nashik.

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A WISE HABIT Valentine D’Souza

Don't Forget to Read!

I was introduced to the world of good books very early during my school days by my English teacher at Don Bosco Matunga in Bombay of yore. I was in the 9th Standard and Good Sir Sonalkar made the English class an exciting experience. His infectious love for the classics enabled him to bring out the drama of the story. How we laughed over the lesson “Uncle Podger hangs a picture“, an extract from Jerome K. Jerome’s Three men in a boat. Years afterwards when I read the book, I relived the moments in Sir Sonalkar’s class; How he wagged his finger when he read the lines “Oh, you leave that to me. Don’t you, any of you, worry yourselves about that, I’ll do that.” We actually pictured the nail falling to the ground as Uncle Podger attempted to hang the picture and the whole family on their knees searching for the nail! And have we not experienced our parents sending us on countless rounds to fetch items of sundry use to complete the task at hand? Well, that is what a good book does.

You immediately connect to an experience in your own life and then you understand the story. Sir Sonalkar taught us how to appreciate reading a good book, pen in hand, jotting down an interesting word or line or ‘turn of phrase’.

It was easy for school going students of those days growing up in a world devoid of mobiles and internet to get lost between the pages of a book. Come Summer vacations and we would be curled up on the sofa with an Enid Blyton fairy tale “Enchanted Wood”or a Five find Outer’s mystery story book. These books besides transporting us into a world of ‘make believe’ would also teach us the difference between good and evil, good behaviour, polite manners, etc.

Fr. Prefect would give us the ‘Lives of Saints’ and Auxilium sisters down the road would allow us to borrow books from their library in return for helping to cover their books.

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Good books go a long way in shaping c h a r a c t e r,

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broadening outlook and maturity. Good reading helps oneself to learn from stories, anecdotes, biographies how to deal with day to day life. Abraham Lincoln learnt a lot from reading the few books at his disposal. The knowledge so gained helped him later on in his presidency.

Good authors like Charles Dickens, Tolstoy, Tagore give an insight into their world, their experiences and their pain through their writing and one can gain a lot from reading their books. Books like Dickens ‘David Copperfield and Oliver Twist‘ created such an indignation among the British public that both Houses of Parliament were forced to enact laws to curb child labor.

to interpret a person’s gaze’!

“I have known a vast quantity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face.

Don’t trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare honesty out of countenance, any day in the week, if there be anything got by it.”

How true! This is one good reason to remain in the company of such talented individuals – you learn a lot. So pick up a good book, bury your face between its pages and lose yourself to the fascination world of books.

Valentine is the President of the ADMA in the Salesian Province of Panjim.

Caution has to be exercised in selection of books. Written matter can make a profound impression on one’s perception. It is good to have a guide or a mentor who is well informed.

My favourite author is undoubtedly Charles Dickens. He breathes life into the characters that fill his stories describing them in great detail.

I have gleaned a lot of information about the world in Dickens’s time, the people, their quaint behaviour and caprices, their mode of travel, etc.

Recently I was reading “Hunted Down“ the detective stories of Charles Dickens.

Observe the sage advice given by Charles Dickens on ‘How

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POWER TO YOU Neil Fernandes SDB

How Not to Get Wrongly Influenced “Influence,” in the Webster’s Dictionary, is defined as an act that affects one’s development.

What we are today, or what we will be in the future, depends a lot on what we were influenced by in the past. A philanthropist may have arrived at this juncture because of the many “positive” influences in his/her life.

A thief, on the other hand, is what he/she is today because of the “negative” influences that have shaped his/her life. But influences are influences. What makes them “positive” or “negative” matters really on the manner in which we respond to them. In the end, it is I who choose what to do with my life!

Our lives are shaped by what influenced us in our adolescence (11–18 years). These years are very crucial in determining who we are to become. The thoughts, behaviour and tastes of fashion, music, television and the other walks of life of the masses impact the lives of adolescents. This is the time when we need to know how to respond to the factors that will influence our lives.

In today’s world, there are mainly two factors that influence the lives of adolescents: Peer pressure and Media. We shall deal with them individually in order to find the right response to them: 1. Peer Pressure: Peer pressure is a whole

lot more complex than our stereotype of the “negative” influences from friends. It can actually motivate youth to study harder in school, volunteer for Community service, etc.

If we are fortunate to get a good peer group, our peers can play a vital role in shaping our personality. They may persuade us to bring about a constructive change in oneself.

Peer pressure can also lead us to make right choices in life. But, not all are fortunate to get good peer groups. The unfortunate ones experience the flip side of peer pressure and end up succumbing to it and spoiling their lives. Sometimes peer pressure may make us do what we never wished to do, like drinking, or taking drugs. In such cases, being overly pressurised by our peers can be detrimental to our living and may place it in jeopardy.

In such cases, what options do we have? How can we respond in the right way?

• Nurture abilities and self-esteem: Adolescents with a positive self-concept and self-worth will be less likely to be easily swayed by “negative” influences. We need to keep reassuring ourselves of our self-worth so as not to get carried away.

• Get equipped with skills necessary to make good decisions: When in groups, we need to know where to draw the line. Saying “No” can be difficult and to say it with authority is not

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something that you can achieve overnight. It needs a lot of practice.

• Evaluate your friendships: If our friends are constantly bugging us to do something that we are not comfortable with, it’s time we re-think our friendships. True friends like us for who we are and not who they want us to be.

• Be lions and not lambs: Each one of us is important. Our lives count and we can make a difference in this world in our own unique way. Don’t be lambs, who do what others do.

Instead, be lions who chart their own path!

2. Media: Imagine a dinner table surrounded by a family in the 60’s or even the 90’s. It mostly includes every family member sharing stories, jokes, life lessons and laughter. Everyone’s presence is felt and appreciated. Now let us come to the present decade: the dinner table is well spread out but the people around the table are less interested and some are engaged in interaction through a media outlet. A lot has changed since media has entered our lives.

The benefits are plenty. Though beneficial, there is a concern that social media can lead to negative behaviour in younger children and teenagers. But there are a few who say, “What’s wrong in using social media?”

Here’s what’s wrong! My friend posts a picture of himself flaunting his perfect 6-pack abs and I look at myself having 8-pack flabs. I start hating myself and bring down my self-esteem.

I end up comparing my “petty” life with my friends’ “brilliant” lives. So, the big question that pops up is: how does one prevent “harmful” media from “working its magic?”

• Follow someone inspiring: There are a lot of fan pages online, but before we go and start following Scarlet Johansson, Priyanka Chopra, Chris Hemsworth or Virat Kohli, we should consider following motivational people whose job it is to inspire us. There are plenty of them on social media. Instead of making you feel lousy, they will inspire you to take action and do better.

• What You See Is Not What You Get: We don’t see the whole story on social media. The person might look happy but they might be facing more tribulations than we may realise.

We don’t have a clue about what’s happening behind the scene.

• Be Grateful: It’s easy to be jealous of people and at the same time it’s also easy to vex ourselves for not being so happy and successful as others. What we don’t realise is that we have still got plenty of great stuff in our lives for which we need to thank God. These could range from good health to a good sense of humour, to a compassionate nature or having a family which loves us. Instead of cursing others, compliment them and we will realise that a lot of our negativity gets vanquished in this way and a lot of positivity is being built up in us.

Neil is a newly professed Salesian, about to begin his philosophy studies at Divyadaan, Nashik.

There is no perfect answer, but here are some points that will help us to move towards an answer.

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ENTANGLED Rohan D’Souza

The Virtual Maze

In this era we all have become part of a Revolution, something that links everyone everywhere. We may not wish to partake in it but we are all engulfed by it. ‘Viruality’ is the new trend. Almost every individual with a phone is connected to millions of people somehow. Daily we are going deeper into the virtual lifestyle. But why is there a craze to live the virtual world? Why has our reality lost all its charm?

Let’s take Tom, a tenth grade student, under lot of pressure of studies. He’s constantly pressurized by everyone to get good grades.

There’s frustration that’s stored in him.

Yoga, meditation are good solutions but not appealing to a youth. He plays violent games, kills someone in it and finds happiness. It won’t take time for him to make his virtual action real.

The world we live in has picked up pace. Down the centuries, the real world taught generations the value of life through ‘Time’. Now all we need are quick remedies to our complications.

In our search for answers we have begun to rely more on a fictional realm which is merely an adaptation from how our mind perceives the world. The virtual world quickly gratifies us but in the long run we lose the essence of patience.

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and movements one makes talk a lot about an individual. The virtual world hides all these signs that we consider our weakness. So many couples break up on the virtual messaging apps, all because they never got to know each other well. Even as you type a message on any communication app you think thrice as to what must be typed. ‘Emotions are very flexible’.

The virtual world portrays an image which he or she wishes to be. The real world paints itself with the real colors of life.

The very fact virtuality is appreciated over reality is partly due to its mind captivating beauty and majorly its prompt solutions. It’s like trying to find a certain detail in a book. In reality you might have to read the entire book thus granting you the desired detail and much more knowledge surrounding it. In the virtual world you acquire only the required detail thus ignoring all the data that relates to it.

The youth of this age need to find their flame in the real world. We are hell bent on entering our imagination. Little do we realize that the virtual world has its origin in the real world.

We need the ability to appreciate all that reality provides us with. Use of virtual devices is not harmful provided they are used in their limit.

Just as yourself do you live in virtual reality or do you seek your answers from the real world?

Rohan has just entered the novitiate at Salesian Training Institute, Nashik..

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ATTENTION TO THE YOUNG Fr Dominic Savio Fernandes SDB

For a Bright Future

What do the Young need?

The young hold the promise of our bright and beautiful future. For us Salesians of Don Bosco working and serving young people have always been our top priority across time and culture.

But the changing times have challenged us in exceptional ways to find ways to protect and empower our young to live and become happy, healthy and holy adults.

Today we find the young moving towards becoming intolerant, instinctive, aggressive, impatient, over emotional, and lack spirituality.

It’s time we improve our quality of education and social responsibility through various organizations and groups to help develop our vibrant young people.

1. Need to help the young to knowledge of SELF: Without self-awareness our thoughts, feelings, and behavioral patterns are controlled entirely by unconscious beliefs, assumptions, and instincts.

When we lack selfawareness we create our

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own suffering and perpetuate it in the lives of others, creating endless pain and chaos.

However, when we learn to become conscious of our primitive and self-destructive thoughts, beliefs, ideals, assumptions, and choices, we become more peaceful, loving, and intelligent beings. Not only do we stop suffering, but the people in our lives stop reacting to our selfimposed misery. Instead, they find more peace. i. Meditation and Self-inquiry: Ask the following six questions …

• Am I this emotion?

• Am I this thought?

• Am I this physical sensation?

• Am I this circumstance?

• Am I this body?

• Am I this personality? ii. Keep a daily private Journal: Keeping a daily journal about your thoughts, ideas and actions will help you to track your self-growth progress, and be more authentic with yourself.

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One can also use this journal to reflect and meditate on one’s own findings to improve the quality of one’s life.

2. Need to equip the young with Relationship Skills: Dr. Christopher Peterson says, “For happiness, remember…other people matter”.

Human beings are naturally social as a species - the survival and evolution of the human race has depended on it! Social ties are very important throughout our lifespan, from birth through to old age. It’s a fact we are literally wired for relationships.

The following 7 principles are essential for good relationship: i. Learning to respect Individuality ii. Learning to handle Feelings iii. Learning to get Involved iv. Learning to allow Choice v. Learning to Accept and Respect vi. Learning not to pass Judgment vii. Learning to keep Confidences 3. Need to train the young in Decision Making and Problem Solving Skills: Every young person should be a decision maker and a problem solver. They must be trained in

these two skills as they go hand in hand. Peter Drucker the management guru says, ‘every individual spends a lot of time in problem solving and making decision then on anything else, and they should.’

There are six steps to effectively solve problems: i. Define the problem ii. Determine the relevant factors iii.Develop alternative solutions iv.Analyze and compare the relative merits of each alternative. v. Draw conclusion from your analysis vi.Choose the alternative that best solves the problem

4. Need to strengthen their Moral and Spiritual dimension: Youth need to strengthen their spiritual life by learning to live a life of discipleship. As baptized members of the Church, youth are called to serve others and to serve Christ, bringing about the Kingdom of God in unique ways.

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i. Find your identity in Christ: Young people’s identity must be anchored in Christ (Rom 6:11). It is our union with Him that we have deep and real security. We are perfectly known and deeply loved (Eph 1:4-5). ii. Learning your faith: Continue to learn and strengthen your faith as you grow older. Join the church youth group with a heart that want to learn and grow deeper in Christ Jesus. iii. Pray as often as you can and go to Church: You can simply start off by saying, ‘Lord I

do not know what and how to pray, but I do have a desire to speak and listen to your words of eternal life. iv. Be Open about your faith and principles: This may be very difficult but stand up for your faith and moral principles. You can do this in ways that are positive. If you continue to be a walking proof of the word of God

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you will probably make a real difference and contribute towards bringing others to Christ. v. Be a good example for other Youth: As a Christian youth, you should lead by example.

Everything you do in life should reflect the goodness of God. Show positivity, smile and do good works. Be a leader and don’t laugh and participate in sinful stuff. Don’t drink, party, cheat on test, smoke, gossip or engage in bad behaviour.

Conclusion: The previous Rector Major Fr. Pascual Chavez said, “There is no alternative than going to meet the young like Don Bosco taking the first step. The young are not past time for us, nor a work to be done as quickly as possible and in any old ways.

Young people are our mission; they are our reason, our theological place. They are our way of experiencing God and our sanctification.”

The youth is our life line. For every Salesian to live is to love youth and to love youth is to truly live a meaningful and Holy life traced for us by Don Bosco our Father and lover of the young. Hence let us re-commit our lives to this sacred and holy mission of truly developing the young for God and humanity.

Fr Dominic Savio, Headmaster of Pope John XXIII High School, Quepem, Goa, is the recipient of the Best Teacher Award in the category of Headmaster from the Government of Goa for the year 2015-16.

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PERCEPTIONS Brian Lewis

Parents Know It All When you are but so small, Your Parents hold you through it all.

That’s the time you start to think, My mom and dad know everything.

As you grow up and you enter you teens, You begin to think and become quite keen.

And that’s the time you begin to think, Mom and dad know most of the things.

Bigger you grow and you turn 20, You find friends and mates a plenty.

That’s the time you realize, Mom and dad know little of life.

You’re an adult before you know, You deal with life’s problems galore.

That is when you stop and think, Mom and dad? They don’t know anything.

You are now old and a family to support, You have your children to guide and promote.

That’s the time when you truly realize, Mom and dad knew everything about life.

But why cry when they are already gone?

Why later feel guilty and be forlorn?

Say now that you love them true, And thank them for all they do.

Brian is a novice at the Salesian Training Institute, Nashik.

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MESSAGE Ángel Fernández Artime, Rector Major

I Have Confidence in You Swim Againt the Tide My dear Young Friends I am very happy to be able to knock at the door of your heart and tell you, as Pope Francis did in a letter he sent to all the youth, to announce the preparation for the Synod 2018, on the theme: “Young people, the Faith and Vocational Discernment”.

Well, the Pope told you: “My dear Young People, I am writing to you because you are in my heart”.

I can assure you that I know what this experience means, because when I think of the youth of the entire Salesian world I feel very close to all of you.

When I think of what Don Bosco would tell

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you many things come to my mind, knowing that reality is so varied and diverse among you.

Many of you study some subjects, some disciplines in high schools and institutes, others are studying in vocational schools, others at the university, and some others do not have this opportunity. Some of you have the means to develop your capabilities, many others who attend the Salesian houses in the

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world do not have these opportunities.

But there is always something for which I feel well and it is the awareness that the heart of all of you, young people, has the same feeling.

There is a juvenile sensitivity that is very common.

And this is why I allow myself to leave you as a message something that on another occasion Pope Francis told you and which I deem very appropriate.

Not long ago he told you: “Dear Young Friends, I have confidence in you, and I pray for you.

Have the courage to “swim against the tide”.

This is the message I want to dedicate to you and to elaborate.

My dear Young Friends, I too have great confidence in you, I pray for you and invite you to be capable to be yourselves, to answer the ideals you feel in your heart, not to be afraid of what you experience in the inmost part of your heart, that Jesus is demanding something good and great from each one of you.

cannot help taking great decisions, including the accompaniment in a journey that may lead them to Jesus. A Jesus who never sells illusions, and even less to you, young people.

A Jesus who offers Himself, who invites to stay with Him. This is all. And here I conclude with the words of the Pope, with which he invites to be open to what the Spirit tells to each one of you, not to be afraid of listening to what the Master tells you.

Don Bosco wants you to be deeply happy, now, here, and one day in eternity.

Don Bosco certainly wants you to be profoundly human, upright citizens, who know how to develop all your capabilities, and he wants you to be always friends of Jesus.

I wish you happy days! And let us continue to transmit the best of our self to those who are close to us.

So long, my dear Friends!

I invite you to be capable of commitment, of generosity, “until it hurts”, as Mother Theresa of Calcutta, now a Saint, used to say: “Love and serve, until it hurts”.

Among other things, my dear friends, since there are also many youth close to you who are tired, who do not have dreams nor ideals, who do not expect great things, that is exactly where your presence as companions, as friends, as disciples-missionaries, is very important and valid, to show them that we 60 SANGATI

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Thank you very much dear readers, you encourage us with your feedback. (The Editor) Write to the Editor on sangatidonbosco@gmail.com

Letters to the Editor...

January - March 2017 | Vol 10 Issue - 01

Thank you for sending me a (soft) copy of your Province Newsletter “Sangati”. Impressive, Informative. Congratulations especially on the way you are getting so many different persons to contribute articles and thoughts to Sangati.

At 60 pages, it does look a lot of material. I sincerely hope you will be able to sustain the effort over the long haul. I wish you success and God’s blessings as you carry out this ministry so creatively and painstakingly.

I look forward to receiving future issues as they are published.

- Fr Tony Pellissery sdb, New Delhi

I went through Sangati, excellent as always... your editorial was a master piece... congratulations.

- Penny Bajaj, Mumbai

Every issue of SANGATI offers very rich insights. This is done in a manner so easy to grasp and relate to. The latest on Marriage and Family Love does true justice to Pope Francis’ soul searching Exhortation. Compliments to the Editor and his team. I eagerly look forward to every new issue.

- Wilfred D’Souza sdb, Mumbai

I read the book [Sangati] which was forwarded to me by my friend. Really an inspiring book [magazine].

- Lynet Preetha D’Souza

Thank you very much for sending Sangati. Read some beautiful articles on Love & Family life.

Very well done.

- Julia Fernandes, Goa

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SALESIAN

BENAULIM FATORDA LOUTULIM KAKATI ODXEL DABOLIM OROS KUDAL PARRA PALIEM PANJIM SIRSI

PROVINCE NEWS

Young at a Mission Camp

The Vocation Commission of the Province of Panjim under the leadership of Fr Joel D’Souza and Fr Kiran Nazareth organised a Mission Camp for the youngsters from May 16-17, 2017 at Sutgatti, Hubli. The purpose of the mission camp was to give the youngsters an experience of village life as well as an opportunity to share their time and talents with the villagers.

Youngsters planned their activities for two days in two villages with the help of Fr Santaremend Lopes. The villagers were touched by the generosity of the youngsters and the youngsters in turn were touched by the hospitality of the villagers.

SALESIAN FAMILY Day at Goa

The Salesian Family Day was celebrated at Auxilium Convent, Caranzalem, Goa on February 12, 2017. Over 160 priests, brothers and sisters, Co-operators, members of the Association of Mary Help of Christians (ADMA), and Past Pupils from all the Don Bosco institutions attended this function.

The whole programme was ably coordinated by an organizing team headed

by Fr. Savio Gomes, Provincial Delegate for the Salesian Family.

The theme for the day was the Strenna of the Rector Major, Fr. Angel Fernandez Artime, 10th successor of Don Bosco: “We are a Family! Every Home, a School of Life and Love!” The strenna was well explained through a power point presentation by the Formation Councillor, Mrs. Theresa Baretto Cruz. It was followed by the Holy Eucharist, celebrated by Fr. Felix Fernandes, Provincial, who gave an edifying homily stressing on the subject of “Love and Family”.

DJ Savio de Noronha, Enid Varela and Joanne D’Souza dished out entertaining music and games to keep the participants in a cheerful spirit of togetherness.

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Young Salesian’s Mission Experience

Seven Practical Trainees of the Province of Panjim were accompanied by Fr Avil Rodrigues, Vice-Provincial, to visit the mission of Ghataprabha on March 11-12, 2017. Fr Lawrence Monteiro and Fr Jason Pinto saw to the details of its organization.

The brothers interacted with the children of Anmol Tangudhama, the project for the street children run by the FMA sisters. They visited the Hidkal Dam, Gokak Falls and Vallabhghad Fort. The Holy Eucharist in Kannada was celebrated at Pamoldinni, a mission centre six kilometres from the Salesian residence at Ghataprabha.

Fr Lawrence took a session and shared his mission experience.

One of the parishioners treated the brothers with a sumptuous breakfast.

Congratulations!

Province of Panjim, May 24, 2017: Vivian Andrews and Ronald Vaz made their Perpetual Professions at Don Bosco Panjim; Brian Crasta, Neil Fernandes and Steve Rodrigues made their First Professions with Ambrose Monteiro and Bless Rumao of Province of Mumbai at Salesian Training Institute, Nashik.

Congratulations! May God be your daily strength and joy!

April - June 2017

PINGULI QUEPEM SHIRVA KELMBET SULCORNA SUTGATTI TRASI TUEM CORTALIM GHATAPRABHA TIVIM

YOUTH PASCH 2017

Retreatainment at Benaulim

53 youth, full of life and energy took time out to be with Jesus, during the Youth Pasch, 2017 at Don Bosco Agro Ed complex Sulcorna. The Pasch animated by Fr Thomas Fernandes and planned by Senior Paschers was a treat to the souls, who were looking for a light in the darkness. Sessions, Group discussions, Liturgies (prepared by youth themselves), Confessions, Way of the Cross were major life changing moments for the youth.

The new Paschers made a commitment and the old Paschers renewed their commitment to be soldiers of Christ: Crucified and Risen. A Praise and Worship session animated by the Young brothers - Vivian Andrews, Joswin D’Souza and Volney Fernandes brought the Salesian Spirit alive in the youth.

On the Easter Sunday, the Young Soldiers of Christ were commissioned to go out boldly and proclaim the Love of Jesus, guided by Spirit to the whole world. They were sent out to be fishers of men, to tell, He lives forever, Alleluia!

Fr Anthony, New Delegate for Mormugao Past Pupils Unit

Fr Anthony Alemao has been appointed new Delegate for the Past Pupils unit of Mormugao in the place of late Fr Romulo Noronha.

He was officially welcomed on February 19, 2017. Mr. Agnelo Mendonsa, Senior most past pupil welcomed Fr Anthony with a bouquet of flowers. Luis Fernandes, Secretary, presented a brief on the activities of the Unit and all assured the delegate their whole-hearted support. Fr Anthony appreciated the activities done by the unit and said that he was happy to be amongst the group who care for Don Bosco and his ways of a holy life. He prayed for the fast recovery of Mr. Mendonsa, Cdr. Agustine and others of the unit who are presently ill and for the unity of the other past pupils and their families.

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The Retreatainment for the youth was held at Don Bosco Animation Centre Benaulim on March 11-12, 2017.

The Youth Paschers began the event with the ice breakers and a solemn adoration service for the 35 participants. Four movies screened served as talks for the retreat. All of them pointing towards Faith in Jesus. It highlighted, what it means to be a Christian, what is greater in life, faith and value system or one’s reputation, etc. It also brought out the challenges that lies before us as Christians in the coming days.

The fruitful discussions by the youth and general sharing of the same in the assembly helped them to voice out their opinions about some key issues concerning faith and the role of youth in the Church. All of them made a resolve to spend time in prayer and in reading the Bible.

Province Catechetical Day

“Merciful… like the Father”, was the theme of the Province Catechetical day held at Benaulim, Goa on February 11, 2017. Eighty four students from five different Salesian schools viz. Oros, Sutgatti, Tuem, Quepem and Sulcorna participated with much joy and enthusiasm.

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SOUTH ASIA NEWS

Fr Peter Gonsalves, Green Schools Award New Books Launched Consulter to Vatican 2017 The Green Schools Campaign Communications 2016-2017 promoted by GreenLine Secretariat, Rome came to a close with the Awards Ceremony on March 9, 2017 held in the auditorium of Don Bosco International School, Matunga. The renowned water conservationist Mr. Abid Surti, of Drop Dead Foundation fame, was the Chief Guest for the occasion, while the Guest of Honour was Father Edwin D`Souza, Chairperson of the Maschio Foundation. The Greenest School Award went to Auxilium Convent High School, Lonavla.

Sacred Heart High School, Vashi won the First Runner-up Award while Don Bosco High School, Borivali won the Second Runner-up Award.

April 12, 2017: Pope Francis has appointed Fr Peter Gonsalves of Mumbai Salesian Province with 12 others, new consulters, for the Vatican`s Secretariat for Social Communications. Fr Peter is currently the dean of the Faculty of Social Communication Sciences (FSC) at Universita Pontificia Salesiana (UPS) Rome.

Rector Major gives South Asia Region The Road map for the Future

Rector Major, Fr Angel Fernandez Artime, along with the members of his council, thanked everyone while addressing the Salesians of South Asia region on the last day of the team visit on March 7, 2017 as he laid down the proposals for future action.

One and a half million is a sizeable number, but up against twelve hundred million that number pales in comparison. Fr Chrys Saldanha at the launch of his new book, `Challenges in Salesian Life Today`, in Mumbai on May 14, talked about such numbers to stress on the importance of one and a half million religious world-over using the potential of twelve hundred million Catholics to foster peace and love in a world riddled with strife. ``GOSPEL STORIES as you never heard before`` by Father Maria Arokiam Kanaga SDB was launched

by Father Francesco Cereda, Vicar General of the Salesian Congregation during the Team Visit 2017 at Chennai, India on March 4.

It is an inspirational story telling of Master Story Teller, Jesus.

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April - June 2017

SALESIAN

WORLD NEWS

Sierra Leone – Orphans, Abused Minors, Street Children, Detainees, Sex-Slaves… The Salesians Work for Them

South Sudan - The Salesian Mission at Gumbo takes care of hundreds of Malnourished Minors

Three years ago Sierra Leone was mentioned in the media all over the world as the country where people died of Ebola. “The truth – the Spanish daily ‘El Mundo’ wrote – is that Sierra Leone is sinking into oblivion and only a smaller number of NGOs remain in the zone”. While media and international organizations seem to have forgotten, Salesians did not leave any room to oblivion, abandonment and despair. The Salesian Mission Procure of Madrid and the Sons of Don Bosco continue to help and work to secure a future to children and young people.

Conflict and famine in South Sudan are severely affecting minors. “In two days we weighed more than 300 children and we found that more than 200, between 3 and 6 years of age, are malnourished and of these, 170 are in a situation of a severe malnutrition”, as reported by the Salesian mission at Gumbo, near the Capital of the country, Giuba.

“It was like a bad dream, we did not expect that the situation could be so serious”, they add.

Japan - Salesian Cooperators on the Move

“I’m happy!

The Second Regional Congress (of 11 provinces) has ended in Tokyo with great success. (...) These were four days that will affect the Association in East AsiaOceania. “So wrote Noemi Bertola, World Coordinator for Salesian Cooperators, on her Facebook page, at the end of the event that brought together over 300 members of the Association in Japan from 7-10 May. The World Delegate for Salesian Cooperators, Fr Giuseppe Casti, presided at the Eucharist in the Salesian Parish of Chofu. During the Mass, 27 new Salesian Cooperators, including the first two Samoans, were received.

In his homily, Fr Casti emphasized the spirit and identity of the Salesian Cooperator, recalling the importance of collaborating in union with the ecclesiastical community and emphasizing that “everything is possible with the maternal presence of Mary, the first Cooperator of God”.

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The reality is that in the village more than one million children are malnourished, more than two million have left their homes and it is estimated that about 16,000 have been enlisted. These are data coming from international agencies.

The Salesians of the Salesian Mission of Gumbo have begun to give milk to children with malnutrition problems. The minors, being in a state of increased severity, in addition to the food, are also given some vitamin supplements.

A Salesian, Fr Vitaliy Krivitskiy is the new bishop of Kiev-Zhytomyr in Ukraine 65

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WORLD NEWS

FMA Sister an Icon of A new type of Media Peace for Salesian Mission Day 2017

A video has gone around the world showing an elderly religious sister trying to talk to a soldier. She is a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians who has become the icon of the huge peaceful demonstrations marches that are taking place in Venezuela to protest against President Nicolás Maduro.

Millions of people have taken to the streets to claim their rights, including thousands of religious, male and female. “Civil and peaceful protest is not a crime. It’s a right! It cannot be controlled by excessive repression,” according to a statement from the Bishops’ Conference of Venezuela.

In order to offer the best possible service in transmitting the footage of Salesian Mission Day 2017 to all the continents, the Departments of the Missions and Social Communication, in collaboration with “Missioni Don Bosco” in Turin, have developed a new mode of distribution.

The traditional DVD containing videos and additional materials for Salesian Mission Day is being replaced this year by a USB key.

This is an option that preserves the quality of the filmed material in high definition, is easy to transport and distribute, can be played back on screens and computers, and allow for the transfer or copying of the contents.

Pope Francis: a Pilgrim of Peace and Hope in Fatima

Pope Francis concluded his pilgrimage to Fatima on May 13, with a Mass marking the centenary of the Marian apparitions there, which made the place a famous and beloved place of pilgrimage to millions of faithful from all around the world and across generations.

During the Mass, the Holy Father canonised two of the seers of Fatima, declaring Francisco and Jacinta Marto to be saints in heaven.

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Sri Lankan Catholics oppose dumping garbage in wetlands

Sri Lankan Catholics organized two protest campaigns recently against dumping garbage in Muthurajawela wetlands, the country’s largest marsh that supports myriad species of flora, fauna and birds. Catholics held a Mass, demonstrations and discussions with government officials to raise the issue of protecting the ecological asset, 30 kilometers north of Colombo.

A Syrian Religious wins the 2017 International Women of Courage Award

Sr Carolin Tahhan Fachakh a Salesian religious of Don Bosco, a Daughter of Mary Help of Christians, was honoured by the U.S. Department of State for her courage in serving the people injured in the Syrian War, and for her commitment to safeguarding and supporting the most vulnerable people, in particular children, refugees, and displaced women.

By risking her own life, Sr Carolin has become a sign of hope for both Muslims and Christians.

April - June 2017

MY VOCATION Fr Milton Fernandes SDB

A Salesian Priest Forever

I took part in the vocation camp organised at the Bishop house, Karwar, that was the beginning of the journey of my vocation. Later, I was introduced to the Salesians of Don Bosco (SDB) by a nun from Daughters of Mary Help of Christians (FMA) convent.

I still remember the first visit of a SDB priest, Fr Maxim D’Souza, to my house. That made a remarkable difference. The impact created paved the path for my Salesian life.

My parents were quite convinced that their son should to be cheerful, active, outgoing and a source of service to others.

I joined the Salesians and was sent to Lonavla, aspirantate of the Salesians of the Mumbai province, followed by prenovitiate, one year novitiate and three years of Philosophy in Nashik. As a practical trainee, I spent two years in Hubli, and one year at Sulcorna, Goa. The last three and half years of the initial formation was completed at Kristu Jyoti College, Banglore.

beloved Dad, I would feel that I was not of any help to him in his work. Only at his death I realized that God used me as His instrument to pray for him together with my confreres of the Panjim province.

The experience of Daddy’s death has made a tremendous impact on my life. First thing is that, death is a reality, which we can’t escape. It is a suspenseful surprise to all human beings. Secondly, we need to prepare to face it.

So, let us give God the first place in our lives and live accordingly. With God we are heroes, without Him we are zeroes.

Being the second son of my

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Congratulations!

Fr Milton Fernandes

Salesian Priest Ordained on May 10, 2017

To follow Don Bosco, Contact: Fr Joel D’Souza 9421117819 | Fr Austin Fernandes 9420906544 | Fr Kiran Nazareth 9765958832