Epitome and Epiphany

V O L I S S JAN1 F E B 2 0 1

7 1 9 9 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

THE CAPITALIST P.6 • THE FORTNIGHT P.10 • SYV SNAPSHOT P.22

EPITOME AND EPIPHANY

AN ABSTRACT AND AN AFTERPIECE (story on page 11)

(illustration by Donald Lent)

2|

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

compass.com

1

Bruce Arden, Erin Muslera

2

Adrienne Schuele

The new partnership that’s opening doors on the California Riviera.

3

Nicole Eva

Santa Barbara’s premier real estate brokerage — where luxury homes, innovative technology, and best-in-class agents converge.

1002 Anacapa Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93101

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

4

Chris Hunt

5

Melissa Birch

6

Suding Murphy Partners

1101 Coast Village Road, Montecito, CA 93108

7

Paige Marshall

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

3

4|

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

Valentine’s Dinner For Two Includes a bottle of wine

New York Steak with glazed pearl onions, baby mushrooms, crumbled blue cheese, and bordelaise sauce, Bacon Halibut wrapped in bacon with lemon beurre blanc, Beef Fricassee with garlic whipped potatoes and Syrah demi glaze, Lamb Shank with garlic potato puree, root vegetables, Syrah demi glaze and mint relish, Scandinavian Duck with crispy skin, sweet & sour red cabbage, baked apple and port wine reduction, Pork Schnitzel pan sauteéd with fresh vegetables and red cabbage, Chicken Prosciutto filled with herbed goat cheese and a port wine reduction 1106 State Street

Call for reservations 805.962.5085

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Content

P.5 P.6 P.8 P.9 P.10 P.11 P.15 P.16 P.17 P.18 P.20 P.21 P.22

Jeff’s Take – Jeff Wing comments on the Montecito tragedy, and our yearning to find sense in chaos Biweekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding dissects President Trump’s accomplishments and his failures after one year in office Beer Guy – Zach Rosen escapes Santa Barbara’s conditions with an excursion to L.A. and Antelope Valley with friend and brewer Brian Avery Man About Town – Mark Leisuré previews the SB International Film Festival and Call Me By Your Name

Fortnight – Guitarists at SOhO; Richard Smith; guest speakers; dance at Granada; benefits shows; and Alan Brown

State Street Scribe – UCSB’s professor emeritus of English John Ridland and his wife received a gift they called Little John, which they spent six years unwrapping. Jeff Wing explains.

Business Beat – Jon Vreeland gets to know Cora Patton (“The Errand Girl”) and founder of Errand Company Creative Characters – Zach Rosen examines body and mind at the Genius of Flexibility center and shapes up with Richard Gregston

What’s Hanging – Ted Mills looks through the mud and previews photo exhibits, artists at 10 West, “HERSELF” at SBCC, Michael Armour, Susan Tibbles, painter Erik Reel, on the Guilded Table, and tiki masks Plan B – Briana Westmacott resurfaces with an up-close and personal report about her father’s fatal heart attack amid Montecito’s natural disasters On Art – Margaret Landreau finds another diamond in the rough: artist Susan Hugo, an SBCC alumna who created Bee Hive Jewelry

I Heart SB – Just when Elizabeth Rose thinks it’s safe to go back into the water, the old saying “Any port in a storm” doesn’t necessary apply SYV Snapshot – Eva Van Prooyen sets the table for the annual Restaurant Week; Juicy Life Yoga Studio; CrossHatch Wines; Maverick Saloon; and Bedford Winery’s Mushroom Festival

FULL SERVICE MAINTENANCE & REPAIR Established 1978

Muller & Go s s

Locally Owned

IMPORT AUTO REPAIR Specializing In

Mercedes • BMW•Audi Rolls Royce• Mini•VW

962-1613

www.mullerandgoss.com

424 N. Quarantina Santa Barbara, CA

Medicare Supplements or Individual Health Insurance 50+ plans

Free Quotes

VIP Concierge Service

CALL TODAY! 805-683-3636

www.sbhealthins.com

No fees for our services, same premiums, the choice is simple!

CA License #0773817

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

5

JEFF’S TAKE

by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com.

Dusk at the Santa Barbara Courthouse

D

usk at the Santa Barbara Courthouse, and thousands of area residents are gathered there in the Sunken Gardens, murmuring somberly, clutching and hesitantly raising lit candles as if to offer something, anything, to the sudden dead. Senseless havoc – instantaneous, brutal, and nonchalant as a bully’s practiced sucker punch – had roared through Montecito’s previously pastoral “little forest” in the wee hours, in the middle of the night, people in their beds swept away by a broad, moving wall of mud and rock, houses lifted off foundations, desperately scrambling escapees in nightclothes pulled off tilting roofs as by an angry attacker and strewn about the woods.

Now, five days later and five miles away, this hurriedly planned community meeting in the shadow of a pristine local landmark; our beautiful courthouse where by day justice is meted out, and where by night a carefully orchestrated show of incandescence bathes the place in the self-conscious glow of “monument.”

So, justice. We want answers. The bumbling Cosmos, a mindless idiot the size of everything we love, everything we cherish, can’t really be blamed, nor sensibly receive our curious anger. Who or what are we mad at, anyway?

So, we show up at this gathering with candles and whispers. We all have a notional understanding of chaos, of happenstance, of the mathematical, random ruin that haunts tomorrow, or the day after that. But this? Seriously? A rain squall that in the particular doesn’t look like much is, in the aggregate, a broad, filthy wave that wants to find its level, and so rolls down treeless slopes baked into glass by the heat of massive fires that now seem to have been an opening act, a prep for the real terror. I guess we’re supposed to… ”process” this?

Tonight’s speakers, a floodlit bevy of well-meaning public servants and Faith leaders, are not quite able to rise to the occasion, and that adds to the righteous poignancy of all this, spotlights the human scale, the furtive spark. We’re fragile little

things, even these speakers in their suits and vestments, clutching their note cards.

But the effort is stirring. The rescuers and responders receive public praise and applause and genuine gratitude, but can any outpouring ever be enough for these embattled workers whose daily bread at this time is earned searching for the dead and mortally wounded in a swath of mud-caked wreckage?

Speeches begin with “I stand before you…”, public comments sonorously issued from within a well-worn template of post-disaster commiseration, amplified remarks that want to cohere communal sorrow into a force for some good. But

e d i l s s n d tio u M va a c Ex

the very idea of what’s happened seems to defy the vey idea of “good.” What’s the use of “good” in a killing mudslide?

Is there “good”? Are we truly beaten sometimes?

When later the crowd disperses by the warmth of the courthouse klieg lights, people are touching one another as they walk. Some of us are touching one another as we’re expected to in the wake of tragedy, saddened and moving on, and thinking of the drive home. But many can be seen to be really hanging on to one another as they’re walking, leaning, feeling, looking at one another’s faces; puzzled, searching, and in love.

30+ Experience

gthorn3848@aol.com

gtequipmentrental.com

6|

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

The Capitalist

by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC. He blogs at anIndependentMind.com

A Year of Trump: Good, Bad, and Ugly

A

year has passed since Donald Trump became president. 365 days is enough time to assess his presidency and his accomplishments.

On Inauguration Day, he promised that he will bring back jobs, borders, wealth, and fix our infrastructure.

“We will follow two simple rules: Buy American and Hire American.”

America first.

His speech described a dark vision of America and the “carnage” we were suffering. None of which was true. The economy was doing relatively well and employment was high. Yet he uttered one of the most arrogant statements ever pronounced in our constitutional republic: “Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.” Of course, that was a lie, a big one.

So, what is the scorecard?

THE GOOD The Judiciary The first positive is his nomination of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. While Gorsuch’s record is yet to be seen, he would fall on the conservative side of the bench of jurists who believe in the primacy of the Constitution. The administration has also nominated 12 judges to the circuit courts. I am not a fan of “theConstitution-is-whatever-we-wantit-to-be” doctrine (a.k.a., the “living Constitution”), so this would be a big positive for the country.

Taxes The reduction of the corporate income tax (from 35% to 21%) will be a big plus for the economy. However, you may think if the economy works, the less money government takes from businesses – you know, the guys who create jobs and satisfy consumer needs – the better off we will all be.

Another potential positive is a special 12% tax on corporations’ foreign cash reserves. The idea is that if you incentivize multinationals to repatriate cash reserves, the money will rush in and be used to boost business. This remains to be seen.

There is no shortage of capital here now, and if business opportunities were better here than in other countries, companies would already be expanding in the U.S.

Individual Income Tax Reform This one is a mixed bag. Middleand lower-income tax payers will pay fewer taxes. The upper 25% income folks who pay 70% of all income taxes will probably pay more. Like all tax “reform” bills, this one is just as complex after running the political gauntlet in Congress.

Obamacare Buried in the tax bill was the repeal of the Obamacare mandate, which forces those who do not wish to buy health insurance to pay a penalty. I don’t think that any politician Republican or Democrat believes that Obamacare has been nothing but a disaster for health care as most Americans find their insurance bills skyrocketing. But it didn’t stop Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer from claiming that people will die because of the tax reform bill.

Deregulation Regulatory reform will only help the economy and create jobs. One of the major drags on business is regulatory burden. While tax reform is a good thing, cutting regulations is just as important. If you examine each regulation, each alone seem reasonable, but it is the totality of regulation that is the problem. Trump issued an executive order requiring the removal of two regulations for every new one.

So far, his record is better than other presidents in reducing red tape.

The Economy He can’t take credit for an improving economy, since the forces that drive growth were already in play for several years.

THE BAD Coal The first thing to come to mind is Trump’s promise to revive the coal industry. I feel sorry for those guys who may have thought a president could make it so. Coal is a dying industry and, unless there is some technological breakthrough for clean, efficient coal, nothing Trump could do will change that. And, so far, nothing has been done.

Foreign Trade Trump pulled out of the TransPacific Partnership, a comprehensive

trade deal with Pacific Rim nations that lowers barriers to trade and investment among the 12 (now 11) countries. The idea was to provide a large trade bloc of which China was not a part. Trump still has no idea of the workings of foreign trade. To him it’s a win-lose situation, when in fact it is a win-win for all parties involved, especially for we Americans. Now, it appears that NAFTA (Canada, Mexico, and U.S.) is in jeopardy. The history of NAFTA has clearly been a positive for America.

Immigration Immigration has been a positive for America. Yet Trump denigrates Mexicans, Muslims, and Dreamers.

Trump preyed on the populist antiimmigrant meme that his supporters believe. If one digs a little deeper, one would find that the picture Trump paints of immigrants, especially Mexicans, to be completely wrong. The worst of his policy is to deny Dreamers a path to citizenship. On any scale of right and wrong, they should be given permanent status.

Infrastructure I’m not going to repeat the facts that I explained before in “Myth of the Infrastructure Cure-all”, but our infrastructure is not crumbling, and this is just another pork-barrel spending frenzy that politicians like to get their photo in the local papers at a ribbon-cutting. The result will be lots of intense lobbying from contractors to get fat contracts from the government.

This is not the path to economic salvation.

THE UGLY In terms of Trump the president, nothing much has changed. He remains who he is. He spreads chaos on a daily basis. To save you the trouble of reading Michael Wolff’s book, Fire and Fury, I read it for you. It is a rambling romp through the Trump White House, but it doesn’t tell us anything new. As the Wall Street Journal put it: Everyone knew Mr. Trump was surprised to win the election, that he then tried to run the White House like he had his family business with rival factions and little discipline, and that the place was a chaotic mess until John Kelly arrived as chief of staff. We also knew that Mr. Trump knew almost nothing about government or policy, that he reads very little, and that he is a narcissist obsessed with his critics. Any sentient voter knew this on Election Day. Mr. Wolff has been criticized for his lack of journalistic integrity, often making grand generalizations about Mr. Trump, his family members, his advisers, and especially Steve Bannon, Trump’s bomb-thrower-in-chief.

While those criticism are accurate, at least according to my read, the overall tone of the book does have a ring of authenticity. It is exactly what one would have expected from Donald Trump, probably the least-informed president of modern times. His superficiality is real. And he’s not a genius.

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Editor-at-large • James Luksic

Columnists Man About Town • Mark Léisuré Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | E's Note • Elliana Westmacott Business Beat • Chantal Peterson | What’s Hanging • Ted Mills I Heart SB • Elizabeth Rose | Fortnight • Steven Libowitz State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Art Beat • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick SYV Snapshot • Eva Van Prooyen Advertising / Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

7

8|

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Zach Rosen

Escaping Smoke, Discovering Beer

A

s with many in the area, I left the nauseating environment during the Thomas Fire to seek fresh air and a less apocalyptic climate. I intended to use a pre-planned L.A. trip as an excuse to escape the smoke and ash for a night or two but ended up staying away for a week. Since I hadn’t been to the Antelope Valley (where I grew up) for almost 10 years, I decided to spend a night or two with my childhood friend, Brian Avery, founder and head brewer of Bravery Brewing Co. in the Antelope Valley. Over the years, he had brought me Bravery bottles when visiting Santa Barbara – but I had yet to see the actual brewery, so I was overdue for a visit.

TRIVIA AND MODERN ART When I arrived to the Antelope Valley, Brian had trivia night at one of the nearby breweries, Transplants Brewing Co., and since his group was down a member, I jumped aboard their team. They had received 1st place the past two weeks, so the pressure was on. We entered the brewery to a room bustling with about 20 groups of four.

The evening poured on with the teams crouching over their beers, working on answers in a hurried hush as a gigantic wall mural towered over the space. The painted scenery included psychedelic creatures kaleidoscoping around the wall with no rhyme, reason, or perspective.

The main beast being a grinning hop toad holding a knife. Some of these surreal beings crawled off the mural and made their way onto the beer labels, forming the main theme of the brewery’s branding. Many of their beers are as creative as their label art, jumping between ingredients and style.

Ocarina of Time is a sweet potato ale and their Palmdale Poppies is a golden ale brewed with poppies; the Antelope Valley California Poppy Reserve being a popular destination in the area. One of their signature brews is CatBirD, which is named after a local test aircraft. This IPA is brewed with hop hash (finely ground hops left on the machinery during hop processing) and hemp CBDs. After a well-fought trivia game, our team placed 2nd.

We consoled our close win at Lucky Luke Brewing Co., which is around the corner from Transplants Brewing.

Lucky Luke has a cozy tasting room with a slight garage feel and a wall of taps whose handles are made from

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

Bottle Logic is going beyond beer with a restaurant and distillery in the works (Photo by Kara Troffer)

tools that came from the owner’s great-grandfather, Luke. The brewery has been open for two years and they had a special brew, Brettanoversary, to commemorate the occasion. This sour blonde was aged in red wine barrels with the funky Brettanomyces culture and had a nice tangy snap with the barrels contributing a light strawberry fragrance. Many of the beers were wellmade, straightforward examples of their respective styles.

GRAIN SACKS AND CRAFT FISH Brian had a trip to Orange County planned the following day, and I decided to tag along. He was going to meet with some other brewers and ask them for advice as he works on Bravery’s next stage of expansion.

This is happening all over the country.

Breweries are experiencing exponential growth and are having to expand to meet demand. A brewery expansion requires more than just adding fermenters or getting a bigger brewing system. Everything from the grainhandling equipment to the refrigerant systems need to be engineered to handle the increased throughput of the brewing schedule.

The brewery has to find a balance between available capital and floor space with equipment that will be able to handle both current and forecasted production models. Bravery is currently at an awkward production mode where a grain silo will be too large for their current needs, and using individual 50-pound sacks of malt is becoming increasingly more unrealistic, especially looking at their current growth models.

The grain-handling system at Chapman Crafted Beer seemed like a possible solution to him, so we first

stopped there to meet with their head brewer, Brian Thorson. We arrived at Chapman and grabbed a beer before meeting with their crew to discuss the brewery’s grain system design. A lot of craft breweries use an auger conveyor that moves malted grain using a helical screw. These systems are unable to make hard turns, and the path of the conveyor has to be carefully planned.

Chapman is using a chain-and-disk system that allows a lot more freedom in the path design, as the loose chain can make hard turns and stiff rises in elevation. The setup seemed like a good fit for the challenges Bravery is facing with their current grain-delivery equipment. We chatted about the pros and cons of the system as we sampled some of Chapman’s brews. Each beer was impressive, but it was really Chapman’s lagers that shone. From the Yes Chef! helles lager that captured the delicate malt structure of this style to the creative dark lager Blogger, which masterfully straddled the line between the dunkel and the schwarzbier style, these lagers showcased the talent of Chapman’s brewing crew.

We visited the popular Bottle Logic Brewing Co. next. The tasting room had a wall full of old electronic devices, mindlessly blinking and enhancing the sci-fi theme of the brewery. We met up with founder and brand manager, Brandon Buckner, who gave us a tour of the brewery and discussed Bottle Logic’s expansion plans. The brewery has a full restaurant and distillery in the works, not to mention a massive development of their barrel-aging program. The overwhelming growth they’ve experienced even had their glycol refrigeration systems struggling to meet the demand. We walked by new tanks resting behind the brewery, waiting to be installed, as Brandon pointed out the new glycol units that had just been put online.

After the main meetings were out of the way, we spent the rest of the day visiting other breweries around the area, including the renowned Bruery Terreux tasting room, before finishing the evening at the wildly successful TAPS Fish House & Brewery. While

Chapman uses a special grain delivery system. That is a literal ton of malt. (Photo by Kara Troffer)

this brewpub makes a respectful range of beers, the main draw is the food. The restaurant takes inspiration from the dining styles of New Orleans, Chicago, and East Coast fish houses and blends it into an experience that is uniquely Californian. Our group spent the rest of the night dining on fish and clinking glasses. After a long beer trek and a week away from Santa Barbara, it was time to head back. The smoke had cleared and despite the horrifying charred hills lining the coast, a smile spread on my face as I drove into town. It was good to be home.

Our area is still reeling from the effects of the Thomas Fire and now, as news of the Montecito mudslide continues to roll in, it is clear that our community will need to continue to support one another for a long time to come. Many of the local breweries and businesses have already held events to benefit those affected by the Thomas Fire and are in the process of developing fundraising events that will help those who have been affected by the mudslides. Keep an eye out for upcoming events at the breweries around town.

In the meantime, direct donations can be made to United Way Thomas Fire and Flood Fund (text UWVC to 41444), the Southern California Fires and Mudslides Fund at Direct Relief (directrelief.org/donate), or the Santa Barbara Humane Society through their website (sbhumanesociety.org). A GoFundMe site has also been established to help Village Cheese and Wine Shop feed firemen and rescue workers. Visit gofundme.com/feed-the-firemenfirstresponders to make a donation. It is going to take the efforts of our entire community to get through these tragic events.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Getting SBIFF-y

T

he fire and flood forced big delays in many of the announcements for this year’s Santa Barbara International Film Festival (SBIFF). The fest is always one of the high points of the mid-winter calendar, the time when movie stars and film’s creatives migrate to our beachside burg to bask in 11 days of cinematic splendor. In the wake of the disasters that are still so heavily impacting the area, there surely hasn’t been the typical buzz surrounding the fest, and we’re just two weeks out as I write this.

Indeed, the announcement of the film slate only arrived in my inbox the morning of deadline day, so there’s hasn’t been any time to peruse it to figure out themes and determine which ones have hidden local connections, let alone make recommendations. But yes, the fest is on, which might be exactly the elixir to set the city back on its normal track of serving as a tourist destination brimming with art and culture.

We can definitely point to the

Opening Night film as one that looks like a winner, something we haven’t often been able to say at SBIFF, especially with a world premiere. The public – written and directed by Emilio Estevez, who also stars alongside Alec Baldwin, Jena Malone, Christian Slater, Taylor Schilling, Che “Rhymefest” Smith, Gabrielle Union, Jacob Vargas, Michael K. Williams, and Jeffrey Wright – follows a group of homeless library patrons, who, after learning that emergency shelters are at capacity during a brutal Midwestern cold front, refuse to leave Cincinnati’s downtown public library at closing time.

Civil disobedience, a standoff with police, and a D.A. with political ambitions set the stage for flaring tempers on both sides of the lockdown, with just about everyone spinning the facts to serve their own political agendas.

Spotlighting some of our nation’s most challenging issues – homelessness, mental illness, and drug addiction – which we deal with here in our slice

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

of paradise – the movie is set in one of those few public places that still feels safe and free, the public library. Ours, by the way, stayed open all through the fire and flood, serving as a haven and resource center (including N95 mask distribution) during the crisis.

NAME CHECK In the meantime, if you haven’t already done so, get thee over to SBIFF’s newly remodeled Riviera Theatre, where Call Me By Your Name continues to play daily right up through Monday, January 29, the eve of the festival’s opening night. As far wiser critics than I have noted, this is not only one of the year’s best films and high up on the projected nominee list for Oscars, it’s also a work of remarkable beauty and pacing, a true masterpiece of emotions, simmering with sensuality and incredibly moving words, all the more amazing for the conciseness. The film is full of intimacy and mysteriousness, generous with its long, lingering takes in both intimate moments and sweeping vistas. As Slate noted, it’s the kind of movie you live in as much as watch – and that doesn’t happen often.

Kudos to the fest for securing breakout star Timothee Chalamet as one of the Virtuoso Award honorees along with Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out), Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman), Hong Chau (mesmerizing in Downsizing), John

Boyega (Detroit), Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick, which he also wrote and directed), and Mary J. Blige (the singer and actress whose performance as a sharecroppers matriarch in Mudbound is simply stunning.) As always, the Virtuoso nights, slated for Saturday, February 3, is by far the most intriguing of the tributes, packed with talent and set up to reward brevity rather than the sometimes boring personality questions.

Others receiving awards from SBIFF include a pair of recent-announced tributees: Saoirse Ronan, a Golden Globe winner for her star turn in Lady Bird, which also won for comedic best picture, and Sam Rockwell, who nabbed a supporting actor statue for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. They join Gary Oldman, who garnered his Golden Globe for portraying Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour and Willem Dafoe, whose The Florida Project I believe has yet to open in SB. Participants in the Outstanding Directors Awards (Tuesday, February 6) and writers and producers panel (Friday, February 2) have yet to be announced.

In closing, I’m tempted to use the standard SBIFF refrain of “See you in the dark,” but memories of power outages are a little to fresh in the mind. Let’s just say I hope you make it to the movies. Get the details and tickets online at www.sbiff. org.

It’s a Good Time to be with Friends and Family COME SKATE WITH US Public Ice Skating

For Public Session schedule go to: www.iceinparadise.org

9

New Show Date:

Saturday, February 10, 12pm & 5pm

Holidays Around the World Olympic Style

Skating School

A fun learning environment emphasizing Growth of skating skills & positive life skills Next 8 week semester begins Feb 27 6985 Santa Felicia Drive, Goleta, CA 93117 805.879.1552

www.iceinparadise.org

Central Coast’s Premier Ice Arena—A 501(c)3 Non-Profit Entity

10 |

theFortnight JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

19 JAN – 9 FEB

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Steven Libowitz

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing fortnight@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here.

Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

We Could Have Had More Mozart

I

f you’re a fan of fingerstyle guitar, do we have a fortnight for you! First up is the great Muriel Anderson, the veteran guitarist-harpist who has been coming to shows at SOhO and elsewhere for more than 20 years. I don’t know her #MeToo situation or even her stance of feminism, but I can tell you that Anderson – who is as lighthearted and joyful as any performer around – is the first female to have won the National Fingerstyle Guitar Championship, no mean feat amid all those meaty-fingered men.

She has performed and/or recorded with Chet Atkins, Les Paul, Victor Wooten, Tommy Emmanuel, and Stanley Jordan, to name just some of the six-string (and more) wizards, and her playing has shown up in both one of the better recent Woody Allen film (“El Noi de la Mare” in Vicky Cristina Barcelona) and on the space shuttle (“Heartstrings” accompanied the astronauts on a Discovery mission).

Suffice it to say, the girl has got gifts to spare, and a facility with a variety of genres and way of transforming her instruments into sounding like a choir or a bluegrass band. The warm and witty guitarist – whose latest CD, Nightlight Daylight, was chosen as one of the 10 best albums of the decade by Guitar Player Magazine – is also the host of the renowned Muriel Anderson’s AllStar Guitar Night. See her at SOhO on Sunday, January 21, for a 7 pm show.

Tickets are $15 in advance, $18 at the door. Info at 962-7776 or www.sohosb. com.

Channeling Chet & Jerry

S

peaking of Chet Atkins, the Tennessee guitarist who was one of the chief architects of the Nashville sound, an even closer colleague is headed our way the following Sunday.

Richard Smith, who was a protégé of both Atkins and Jerry Reed, the latter of whom was just inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame last year, is presenting a special show dedicated to their work in the next installment of the Wooden Hall Concerts series.

Smith, the 2001 National Fingerstyle Guitar Champion and 2008 Thumbpicker of the Year, is also fluent in classical music, jazz, the gypsy style of Django Reinhardt, bluegrass,

ragtime, the blues, and Sousa marches – but here he’ll be paying tribute to the two late country stars. Sort of returning the favor, as Atkins once said of Reed: “The most amazing guy I know on the guitar. He can play anything I know, only better.”

Smith will also be offering a players’ workshop at 2:30 pm on Sunday, January 28, to teach his fingerpickin’ style, with all proceeds donated to victims of the Montecito mudslide.

Flutist Leslee Sipress and guitarist Mark Coffin kick off the concert at 7 pm, with Smith hitting the stage at the Alhecama Theater, 914 Santa Barbara St., at 7:30. Tickets cost $20. Visit www. sbama.org.

Talk it out

T

alk might be cheap, but it’s never boring. At least not with the three vastly different spoken word opportunities all taking place on the evening of Thursday, January 25. First up: Condoleezza Rice, the former Secretary of State of the United States, who was the second woman and first female African-American to hold the post. Currently a professor of both political science at Stanford University (where she served as provost from 1993-1999) and Global Business and the Economy at the Stanford Graduate School, as well as senior Fellow on public policy at the Hoover Institution, Rice recently published the book Democracy: Stories from the Long Road to Freedom, which offers a sweeping look at the global struggle for democracy. She’ll share her expertise on global affairs, national security, and education at the Arlington Theatre at 7:30 pm. Tickets are $50 to $150. Info at 893-3535 or www.ArtsAndLectures.

UCSB.edu.

For political discussion of a different tone and tenor – not to mention a somewhat opposite location on the liberal-conservative spectrum – check out Lewis Black at the Lobero at 8 pm. The Grammy-winning stand-up comedian who has ranted and raved his way through an increasingly popular career ever since he first showed up on The Daily Show back in 1996, might provide just the sort of cathartic release that we need now more than ever, with his righteous anger at political perfidy

be defied. And every time you think, ‘Whoa, how the hell did they do that?’ they will take it further.” Getting my mind blown by people rather than fire and mud? Works for me. Tickets cost $59 to $74. Call 899-2222 or visit www.granadasb.org.

So Cal Strong and social screw-ups perhaps taking our minds off of our more local concerns.

Tickets for the show, a reschedule from January 11, will run you $78. Call 9639761 or visit www.lobero.org.

Meanwhile, PechaKucha 20x20 Night over at Dargan’s Irish Pub kind of offers a little of both. The simple presentation format requires that speakers show 20 images for 20 seconds each – no more or less, as the images advance automatically while the speaker talks. Do the math – it’s fewer than six minutes each, sort of like a TED Talk-lite, except it’s only lightly curated and takes place in a bar. Subjects cover whatever anybody wants to talk about – serious, funny, or strange. The 7 pm launches Vol. 21 of the Santa Barbara version of the series that’s now in somewhere close to 1,000 cities across the world. Free.

But wait, there’s more! Four days later, on Monday, January 29, the veteran journalist Jeffrey Toobin, who is senior analyst at CNN and a staff writer at The New Yorker as well as a bestselling author, is coming to Campbell Hall to provide context to current events within our judicial, political and media landscapes in a talk entitled “Politics, Media and the Law in the Post-Obama Age”. The words flow beginning at 7:30. Tickets are $20 to $35. Info at 893-3535 or www.ArtsAndLectures.UCSB.edu.

Dance Away the Heartache

P

ilobolus Dance Theater forever cemented their reputation in my mind with their spectacular performance at the 2007 Academy Awards, when they used their bodies (and a few props) to form iconic representations of each of the Best Picture nominees, all in a matter of seconds. It was the kind of thing that seemed “Beyond the Limits of Dance”, which just happens to be the subtitle for their performance slated for 7 pm on Sunday, January 28, at the Granada.

Pilobolus Maximus takes the most diverse and powerful elements of the dance theater company, both old works and new, and re-assembles them in a series of continually changing worlds that move from a wild circus to classical settings. Dance Insider says, “Your beliefs in the nature of strength, endurance and gravity will not hold. In fact, they will

T

he absurdity of how quickly the mudslide followed the fire can be illustrated by the fact that benefits for victims of the Thomas Fire didn’t even have a chance to happen before the cause was eclipsed by the much greater death and destruction caused by the flash flood and debris flow in Montecito. As of this writing at least, the concert at SOhO taking place on Wednesday, January 28, is still listed official as a benefit for the Thomas Fire Victim Fun, but it’s planned as the first of a series, so we’ll see. The six-hour show, produced by Ace Pro Music’s Nancy Singelman, begins at 3 pm and features Rachel Sedacca, Teresa Russell, the Tearaways, Smitty and Julija, Bruce Goldfish, the Contenders, Laura Cozzie, and the SB Strong band, Tantamount, and special guests plus several as-yet to be named special guests. $25 minimum gets you in, and bring the credit cards as a fairly sizable silent auction is planned.

Two days earlier, SOhO is hosting a “Fundraiser for victims of the Thomas Fire and mudslides” at 8 pm.

The Ventura heavy-metal band Bone Maggot is slated to play, along with Dark Vital Flames, Mulholland, and Slow Down, with tickets running $8 to $10. Here’s hoping the freeway will be open by then.

Info for both shows at 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com.

Bye Bye, Brown-y

I

n between the two benefits is a show marking a shifting of the landscape at SOhO itself. “Downtown” Alan Brown, the club’s sound engineer who has been behind the board for more than 20 years, going back to when the rig didn’t have its nifty location tucked in a corner by the kitchen. The “retirement party” for Brown, who a few years ago was named an Independent Local Hero, is planned as a community event of music, entertainment, dancing, celebrating, toasting, roasting, and “sending Alan off with a whole lotta love.” In keeping with one of the only activities that kept Brown away from town for any length of time, the night will have a Burning Man Theme, so dress up, if you wish, in “fun, fabulous, and intergalactic attire: top hats, goggles, moon boots, tutus, glitter, sparkles, and glow sticks galore!

Entry is $5 for the 6 pm show.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

STATE STREET SCRIBE

by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com.

Little and Big John’s Epiphany

T

he Universe giveth, and the Universe taketh away (to paraphrase).

John Ridland, UCSB professor emeritus of English, can say a word or two on the subject, and has. A radiantly written new work that is surely the summation of a beribboned lifetime of poetry and prose, Epitome and Epiphany delicately plumbs the complex depths of an early loss that staggered he and his wife, Muriel. And just as they were beginning a brandnew life at a new academic posting – on bluffs overlooking the sparkling Pacific, no less.

What does the universe taketh, exactly? The soul (excuse me)? Hard to pin down, that. The “end” of a life is an emotional and physical hurricane whose category is informed equally by the mechanical, the whimsical, and the personally bearable. A loved one passes.

Sometimes out of the show-closing maelstrom comes an unheralded burst of light that requires a brief averting of the eyes. “I remembered another dream,” John says. “I was walking Little John on my shoulder outside in moonlight, and he spoke a real word: ‘Moon.’“ Little John. Over time, John and Muriel Ridland’s separate dream lives would intersect, and around such dreamscape exotica as this: a boy on two legs, walking and speaking and gesturing with unimpeded energy. In John Ridland’s dream this night, the boy – their Little John – had clearly articulated the single word; a heartseizing astonishment that sent dad running back into the house with him, breathless with joy. “In the dream, I

rushed in excitedly to tell his mother the amazing news,” Ridland continues, “and I woke Muriel, shaking her shoulder.

Suddenly, I found I had actually shaken her awake, and we were both lying there, awake in the dark, and I was telling her what had happened in the dream. ‘I was crying,’ I explained, beginning to cry in the telling. And Muriel said, “Yes. I heard you.”

DREAMS AND RESPONSIBILITIES In 1961, John Ridland and Muriel made the move to Santa Barbara from Upland, in San Bernardino County, John accepting a position as associate professor of English at the vaunted University of California here; UCSB, as it was colloquially known to locals.

Muriel’s 35-mile commute to teach at L.A. State College (now California State University in Los Angeles) and a baby on the way decided them; the ocean breezes and beautiful milieu, they imagined, would salve the rigors of late-stage pregnancy and land them in paradise as well. “We’d had two very sociable years in the very welcoming Claremont community,” Ridland says.

“But it was a no-brainer: cool South Coast over Inland Empire oven.”

John Ridland, professor emeritus of English at UC Santa Barbara – and through the scholarly decades a plauditfestooned poet and translator – looks the role. He is a tall man whom you might describe as stately, but for the set of a mouth that suggests an ongoing, deeply held bemusement. Soft spoken, erudite, a stealth speaker of few words,

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

when he arises from a chair and unfolds to his full height, he has something of the static grace of a heron. Muriel is his complement; voluble, immediately open, warm, eloquent, and of an approachable stature. Ridland taught at UCSB for 42 years, retiring in 2005.

In 1961, the two were excitedly scribbling out the ad-hoc blueprint of a new life in a new town and summoning the necessary energies.

Muriel’s pregnancy, though, was not going to plan. An examination revealed an anomaly that would take John and Muriel’s daughter from them at birth.

As it happened, over the course of two stunned days, Muriel’s mother too, would pass, from cancer; having just posted from New Zealand a cheering note of encouragement to Muriel and John over the imminent new arrival, their little girl.

“I included Muriel’s mother’s last letter (in the book) for the beautiful note of hope it strikes like an orchestral triangle––hopes that would not be heard again until far into the symphony, and struck from her terminal hospital bed,” John says. “No cause and effect, sheer coincidence – but you notice how the Fates like to work in parcels of three.

What we think now is how staggering these days must have been for her father,

11

not a man to examine his feelings.” The curious third blow – Muriel’s father had a beloved dog, and the cosmos, in its mathematical majesty, had even seen fit to pluck away its life as these darkling hours passed. John and Muriel put their heads down and moved forward, conceiving again, imagining a stillbright future along this necessary fork in the road.

SPECIAL VS ORDINARY Some two years later, John heard Muriel shout his name and ran to the bedroom of their 21-month old, John – Little John, as he had been endearingly nicknamed – to find Muriel bending in a panic over his son, and Little John in a convulsive state. The maddened drive to the hospital and harried care there did nothing to mitigate or explain what was happening, nor would an explanation ever be forthcoming in the remaining four years of Little John’s speechless, not to say joyless, life.

Muted “benchmark” warning bells from the medical establishment had long since alerted the Ridlands to the possibility that Little John’s “case” might be one of special needs. His speech, motor skills, and socialization, among other ...continued p.14

It is reported that black widow venom is 15 times stronger than that of a rattlesnake. Spiders can lay 2 to 1000 eggs per sac. To keep spiders outdoors and prevent indoor presence in cold months, be sure all screens contain no cracks, crevices or gaps.

12 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

MILPAS MOTORS 1960 PORSCHE 356 CABRIOLET, FULLY RESTORED

$139,995

2016 PORSCHE CAYENNE 12K MILES, AS NEW

$51,995

1974 BMW 3.0

2012 MBZ E-550 COUPE

$28,995

1963 JAGUAR E-TYPE COUPE

2005 LOTUS ELISE, 20K MILES, PREFECT CONDITION

$35,995

1993 LAND ROVER DEFENDER 95K, ORIGINAL MILES

$109,995

2015 FERRARI ITALIA, 6K MILES

$222,995

2014 AUDI ALLROAD 52K MILES, GREAT CAR

$26,995

2000 PORSCHE BOXTER 65K MI.

2011 BMW 335IS COUPE 76K MILES

$19,995

2011 BMW 535I 83 K MI.

$49,995

$145,000

1996 PORSCHE 911 C4-S, VERY RARE CAR

$79,995

$9,995

1987 MBZ 560SL 78K MILES

$21,995

$17,995

1972 MERCEDES 280 SE “FULL RESTORATION” 5KMI

$32,995

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

WWW.MILPASMOTORS.COM 735 NORTH MILPAS STREET • (805) 884-8102

1957 CORVETTE RESTORED

$95,995

2014 BMW 435I CONVERTIBLE, 24K MI

1999 BMW M-ROADSTER,45KMI

$15,995

2004 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM

2007 MBZ CLK-350 COUPE 58KMI

$11,995

2014 LEISURE TRAVEL RV, MERCEDES DIESEL

1957 PORSCHE ROADSTER REPLICA, 2 TOPS

$29,995

1987 BMW M-6, IMMACULATELY PRESERVED, 30KMI

$59,995

$38,995

$102,995

2013 FERRARI 458 SPIDER, 7K MI

$189,995

2007 PONTIAC SOLSTICE GXP, 6800MI

$18,995

$79,995

2011 FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE

$10,995

1988 BMW 633 CSI 40KMI

$39,995

2009 BMW 328I WAGON 78KMI

$14,995

2016 CHEVY CONVERSION VAN 9, SUPER LUXURY, 4X4

$79,995

1963 FERRARI GTO REPLICA

$49,995

13

14 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.11

metrics, had indicated a noteworthy lag in progress. At the same time, there were medical professionals who assured John and Muriel that these markers could be broadly interpreted, and the parents grasped at these cautionary assurances.

Then they thought it a sound idea to get a second opinion, and consulted a young pediatrician with a reputation for being laudably thorough. They received her opinion as one receives a firmly delivered slap.

“We had followed Little John’s progress by consulting Dr. Spock’s guide and another condensed pamphlet, and were able to twist the descriptions in Little John’s favor. The second, younger pediatrician’s frank dismissal of all we had convinced ourselves of––‘Why, he’s way behind what he should be!’–– pronounced it seemed with satisfaction at outwitting an older practitioner, was devastating, because we had to realize she was right.”

On that warm winter afternoon, the parents had waited in terror for the alien shadow to pass across his face and the smile to return him to himself. – J.R., Epitome and Epiphany In the period following Little John’s Convulsion, though – the spiritually

seismic event that divides his brief life into two distinct epochs, a Rise and a Fall – John and Muriel Ridland would come to understand how permeable is the “wall” we famously hit at the supposed end of endurance. “For all of us these days were like a boxer taking three punches in quick succession, to the ribs, the chest, and the head,” John says. “We staggered but did not fall down, and the remaining rounds were perhaps a little less difficult to fight through, thanks to this opening one being so rough.”

day by day, hour by hour, the scrapings of sorrow grew louder and darker until they eclipsed the joys,” John says now, “and inevitably drowned them out in his last weeks. Yet even then he could reach for happiness...”

“More than four years of their lives would be occupied in assisting him down from the highest plateaus of his achievement, and those years, despite the labor and almost intolerable sadness of watching his descent, would be, against all expectations,

“There was one smile, however, very late in his life, whose special light put in question, for a moment only and in an inconceivable contradiction, the whole system by which they understood him.

It has been a smile that seemed to show

At the same time, there were medical professionals who assured John and Muriel that these markers could be broadly interpreted, and the parents grasped at these cautionary assurances EPITOME In Epitome and Epiphany, Ridland has composed a compact, revelatory account of Little John’s foreshortened life. Half-prose, half-poem, written with devastating musicality, the book’s filigreed and incandescent language allows no hiding place, as there was none. Neither is the book mere reportage, or a primer on dealing with loss. John and Muriel and Little John’s journey, for want of a less shopworn term, was as harum-

folio press and paperie SHOP LO CAL for

Valentine’s Day CARDS & GIFTS

Everything you may need to make your day special LO CATED IN THE HU B

N E A R T HE C O R N E R O F STAT E A N D GU T IE R R E Z ST R E ETS

301

scarum – as ringingly human, that is – as you please; that bruising disarray whose stress fractures heal with all the added strength this life of wanton accidents can assure. But those years were complicated, illuminated.

MOTOR WAY • SA N TA BA RBA R A

www.foliopressandpaperie.com 805.966.1010

four of the best years of their lives.” – John Ridland, Epitome and Epiphany Close on the heels of the Convulsion and Little John’s discharge from the hospital, John and Muriel were made to understand that, whatever had happened – and it was loosely characterized as a “febrile convulsive episode” flowing from an undefined progressive neuromuscular disorder – it had sent their small son down a oneway path of increasing cognitive deficit.

Their little boy would never walk, never speak. He had peaked at 21 months.

What he would do is occasionally beam an unprompted, open-mouthed, ecstatic smile at a visitor, knocking them silly – in one instance prompting from a normally non-demonstrative guest “..why, he’s a lovely little fellow!”

These instances grew fewer and fewer, but Little John still managed to wield considerable influence. John explains, “By his last year, Little John was joined by two siblings, also still in diapers, and we needed helpers. They took to Little John, quickly found what he needed and learned to supply it, and through his death and the aftermath continued to stay on and help with the younger ones. We have been in touch with both of them now for nearly 40 years. Both have told us how Little John changed their lives, turning one from a casual C student to a serious one, the other finding her career in speech therapy, thanks to seeing how Little John had fallen short of speaking, beyond the reach of therapy, but that others could be helped.”

John and Muriel Ridland, youngsters themselves when they came to UCSB in ’61, have seen some action; decades of quotidian flux, friends come and gone, even their home campus mutating toward its future. Always there was Little John. He remains today their spunky 6-year-old. “As the years went along,

not just appreciation but comprehension.

He died the next day.” – John Ridland, Epitome and Epiphany FIRST AND LAST KISSES To the question, does Little John still inhabit your dreams? John Ridland says this: “I have to suppose there have been more dreams of him, but I don’t dream, or remember what dreams I have, very much.” A heart-twisting reminder, perhaps, of the chasm between “today” and the frozen past where Little John yet lives.

At physical death, all our memories and hoarded sensations, our Information Architecture (as certain forgiving scientists are hesitantly calling it) may be a flotilla of faintly concentrated light headed for the stars – bearing outward that picnic in the woods with your parents, Friday night ball games back in school, the time you slammed your thumb in the car door, dad’s rare laughter when in the presence of your uncle, your electric first kiss, Little John’s toothy, incandescent smile… the race’s collective treasure chest of cherished neuronal mementos. Can these things be obliterated? Thermodynamics says no.

Did you fail that 4th-period physics quiz?

Yes, it can be jarring—insufferable, even—to imagine the end of the body, the end of a beloved son, say.

Time doesn’t stand still. Glass halffull – moment by moment, at this very moment – innumerable First Kisses are being liberated to drift away like fireflies, happily wander the Big Room, and haunt. Alongside a footloose Little John.

John Ridland will appear with poet Jodie Hollander at the Squire Foundation, where he will read from and discuss Epitome and Epiphany.

Where: The Squire Foundation – 4515 Via Maria, Santa Barbara, CA 93111 When: Thursday, January 25, from 6 to 8 pm

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

BUSINESSBEAT by Jon Vreeland Jon Vreeland is a writer of prose, poetry, plays, and journalism. His memoir, The Taste of Cigarettes, will be published May 22, 2018, with

Vine Leaves Press. Vreeland is married to artist Alycia Vreeland and is a father of two beautiful daughters who live in Huntington Beach, where he is from.

GOODBYE, “MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER” THE ERRAND COMPANY IS HERE

I

n 1966, the Rolling Stones released the hit song “Mother’s Little Helper” about a small yellow pill, which the doctor prescribes to help the mothers complete their thankless and tiresome house and family work that took up every day of their lives. But, now that it’s 2018, I think we all know the routine: Take the animals to the vet and get the groceries, pick up the prescriptions and walk the dog, then pick up the kids from school. Now, it’s time to make dinner for the family and do their laundry, but right after you take out the trash and water the lawn. And remember, before you check the kids’ homework and do the dishes and make sack lunches for the following day’s same chaotic schedule, the oil light in your car is on to let you know it’s time to add another chore to your endless list of daily work.

But you see, my faithful reader, 10 years ago, Santa Barbara resident Cora Patton, a.k.a. The Errand Girl, designed a business not only to make a living but

to help people with their tumultuous day of scuttling around in circles in what can often feel like a series of endless assignments. In a state of nearly 40 million people, almost four times the amount of Oregon and Washington combined, the population alone has been known to make the day a little more stressful than we naturally anticipate. And according to Mayo Clinic, these types of everyday routines have a reputation of transposing your “To-Do-List” into a variety of chronic health issues, such as heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, among other life-threatening ailments the habitual “busy-body” tends to ignore (MayoClinic.org).

This is what the Errand Company is designed to help eliminate.

“Everybody at one point in their life need helps with errands, and we do such a wide variety of things,” says Cora. “And if we can’t do it for you, we try and help you find someone who can.”

Not many Californians are willing

Cora Patton, the original Errand Girl and sole owner of the Errand Company, loads a Christmas present into her Chevy Tahoe to return the item to UPS for the busy client

to hop in their car – or a baby blue or silver Vespa Scooter – to do the chores listed above, then grab some organic milk from Gelson’s, and all in a timely fashion. In the last three years, Cora, who is the sole owner and a former SBCC communications major, has added five employees to help with the tasks bestowed on the lifetime Santa Barbaran; the responsibilities are not always as convenient as picking up the laundry or hitting the post office on the way to the bank to make a deposit. Cora, and what she now calls her Errand Company, will go as far as ordering 300 In-and-Out Burgers for a wedding at the Fess Parker Hotel. Or will deliver a $500 bottle of Scotch to another Santa Barbaran – a bottle ordered halfway across the globe

Reaso ason n to H Re aso ason nop e to

15

from a resident in the realms of New Zealand, Australia.

Although Cora’s growing business does not do any hands-on caretaking, they will pick up prescriptions, walkers, and wheelchairs, and even help organize a client’s home after some time in the hospital. But in the end, Cora says that “The Errand Company’s” most common call is groceries (which includes the stocking of people’s vacation homes and college dorms, not just their regular everyday homes and businesses).

“But we sure do a lot of other stuff like get keys made, or we will also wait at a client’s house while movers are there,” she explained. “I also took a big and grey Chevy van the owner calls ‘The Battle Wagon,’ to get it washed. We also deal with cars that have been hit and run and need repair, or just regular checkups from the original dealerships.”

Cora no longer rides her Vespa Scooter on deliveries but says, “Mark my words, you can fit quite a bit on a scooter if you’re practical about it, so I’ll be back around on a scooter very soon.”

The Errand Company covers all of Santa Barbara County, the Santa Ynez Valley, and has someone to assist as far away as Van Nuys. They are open Monday through Saturday 8 am to 6 pm and closed Sundays. Their website is www.errandco.com, and their phone number is (805) 452-0765.

Hop e

During this difficult time in our community, our doors are open.

We proclaim that there is a reason for the hope within us.

Join us for worship on Sunday mornings at 9:30 am.

We offer many different Bible studies during the week: Sunday morning, Wednesday evening, Thursday afternoon, and Friday morning.

We have a prayer group which meets on Tuesday evenings.

Check our website for our weekly schedule: www.EmanuelLutheranSB.org

3721 Modoc Rd, Santa Barbara, CA 93105 3721 Modoc Rd, Santa Barbara, CA 93105 EmanuelLutheranSB.org info@EmanuelLutheranSB.org EmanuelLutheranSB.org info@EmanuelLutheranSB.org 805.687.3734 805.687.3734

16 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

CREATIVE CHARACTERS RICHARD GREGSTON

W

hile the relationship between body and mind is still not fully understood, it has been recognized that having the two in harmony will lead to a healthier individual. The rise in popularity of such practices as yoga has helped spread these concepts through the western world. At The Genius of Flexibility center in Santa Barbara, trainers are taking an innovative approach to the relationship between body and mind.

The Genius of Flexibility program and centers were founded by Bob Cooley while trying to heal himself after being struck in 1978 by a vehicle moving at 70-plus miles per hour. Bob had received his BS in education from Adelphi University in 1971, with postundergraduate work in biophysical studies at Maryland University and graduate work with Stanley Plagenhoef on human biomechanical computer analysis of human motion in the Exercise Science Department at University of Massachusetts. The accident led to drastic changes in both Bob’s body and mind. As he worked on healing himself over the years, he developed a new theory about flexibility training that incorporated what he had learned through his education and blended it with the changes in his body he was witnessing.

This new theory formed the foundation of The Genius of Flexibilty program and takes inspiration from physical therapy, yoga, personal training, psychology, and traditional Chinese medicine, this program blends these concepts into a Resistance Flexibility and Strength Training (RFST) theory that coordinates 16 muscles with 16 Genetic Personality Types (GPT) that Bob has recognized. These RFST exercises are about balancing muscle groups and using simultaneous muscle contraction

by Zach Rosen

and lengthening to address the fascia tissue, which is often overlooked.

Most stretching focuses on the muscles and joints, but RFST is designed to help shed excess fascia. Many of these motions follow the movement of animals (imagine a cat stretching) and have an organic quality to them. He began teaching these theories in 1991 and now has centers in Los Angeles, New York, and Boston, in addition to the one here. Over the years, these centers have helped a wide range of clients from Olympic athletes to heads of state.

For Richard Gregston, The Genius of Flexibility program not just helped heal his body and mind, it gave him a new direction in life. Richard has been athletic since childhood, playing soccer at the age of 7 before moving over to roller and ice hockey at 14. At 24, he could already feel his body breaking down and flexibility waning. Having been born and raised in Santa Barbara, Richard was staying in Atlanta for a change of scenery. Right before Richard was planning on moving back to Santa Barbara, he drastically injured his back while playing a pick-up game there.

Richard’s father had met Bob while working on a documentary on organic food and had begun practicing the program.

During the move back to Santa Barbara, Richard’s father flew out to meet him at a studio in Texas, where they could work on Richard’s back. After the session, his back was astoundingly better. It was the first time Richard was really able to stand and walk in several weeks, and he was convinced of the benefits of RFST exercises.

Upon returning to Santa Barbara, he visited The Genius of Flexibility center and met with Bob. Richard had been studying math and physics at SBCC

but dropped out of the program the day after meeting Bob and hearing more about the GPT and RFST concepts. He enrolled in their Affiliate Certification Training (ACT) program and began studying there, passing the first three levels of certification in only six months.

Now two years later, he practices at the center as a Certified Affiliate Intern and is pursuing kinesiology at SBCC to get a deeper understanding of the subject.

Over this time, he changed his lifestyle, losing 55 pounds before gaining 120 of healthier weight. Although Richard no longer has much drive for the aggression that hockey can inspire, Richard now focuses more on music as a singersongwriter, yet he still lets loose while playing some punk rock. He no longer has any back pains and has healed other injuries from his years of playing hockey.

The Genius of Flexibility center (914A Santa Barbara Street) is located near the intersection of Santa Barbara Street and Canon Perdido, though you likely have never come across the building.

One must walk down a gravel path tucked between La Playa Azul Cafe and Zaytoon to find the bright structure surrounded by greenery. The facility has been around since 1920s, where it was originally part of the Santa Barbara School of the Arts but later renovated.

The remodeling was a joint effort between the Santa Barbara Contractors Association (SBCA), Built Green Santa Barbara, and the Santa Barbara Trust for Historic Preservation (SBTHP), and incorporated innovative green technologies in its construction, resulting in it being deemed the “greenest building in SB.” The space is powered entirely by solar panels, and a radiant infrared heating system brings a brush of warm air as you enter the building. The center consists of three sunlit rooms. There is a common area with a small kitchen and a back room that offers a space for more personalized

sessions. The main room offers a larger space for classes with chart-covered walls and expansive windows that add a sunny, warm glow to the wooden floors.

I recently met with Richard to experience Resistance Flexibility and Strength Training first-hand. The brief session addressed an old shoulder injury I have. The core concept of RFST is contracting muscles while they are being lengthened. Richard would have me flex through a certain motion while he opposed that movement. For example, I would flex my arm as if I was doing a dumbbell curl while he slowly pulled my arm out. Although the trainers are applying resistance, they are not working against you, rather they are directing your body through the motion. When he noticed that one area of my body was too locked up, he would switch movements before coming back to original motion. Those original muscles would then be loosened and were capable of going through a larger range of motion.

Upon my finishing, the effect was immediately noticeable with my shoulder much looser. The session even removed a strain that had been slowly growing in my bicep.

Richard teaches a donation-based class every Friday at 12:15 pm that he calls “play time for the body,” wherein he will show attendees two-to-three stretches that they can practice. There are drop-in classes six days a week (every day except Thursdays) by the range of instructors and offered to all experience levels. Classes are generally $20 each, though passes are available.

In addition to classes, one-on-one Assisted Stretching therapy is offered, as well as more focused sessions that delve deeper into the individual’s personality traits.

Visit thegeniusofflexibility. com for more information on classes, sessions, and the program.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

17

WHAT’SHANGING? with Ted Mills Ted Mills is a local writer, filmmaker, artist, and podcaster on the arts. You can listen to him at www.funkzonepodcast.com. He currently has a seismically dubious stack of books by his bed. Have an upcoming show you’d like us to know about? Please email: tedmills@gmail.com

KEEPING THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

I

t’s not how I expected to start 2018, having to rewrite a delayed column, after putting one to bed just before the mudslides took lives, livelihoods, homes, and our entire city’s normalcy away over one awful night. Originally, I wrote about how the new year meant a new start, a way to brush off the ash, but Mother Nature did not get the memo.

What remains, however, is the importance of art (whether a solitary viewing experience or an openingstyle gathering) to the community.

Art nourishes the soul, and presents alternatives to the world we live in. Not as escapism, always, but suggestions in a completely abstract way of looking at the world differently and by doing so, change it. That might sound like heavy lifting, but artists do it all the time.

This column comes out after the Funk Zone Art Walk (January 12), but the art remains up through at least the month, if not more. Plus we have an ambitious opening at SBCC and much more. Let’s dive in.

PHOTO FINISH

water border on the abstract), and Letitia Haynes. Through March 11.

JAN IN JAN (SLIGHT RETURN)

Jan Ziegler is also in charge of 10 West Gallery (10 W. Anapamu), and regularly features work from Santa Barbara’s abstract collective. But this time round, the gallery’s January show “Through Their Eyes” (through Sunday, January 28, actually) also features amazing pottery from Mata Ortiz – that’s a city in Mexico, not an artist’s name. I was there on Thursday at the opening and, by gum, they were good.

The gallery also features strong work from Chad Avery, Sophie Cooper, Marlyn Daggett, Madeline Garrett, Marilyn Helsenrott Hochhauser, Laurie MacMillan, Stuart Ochiltree, Marlene Struss, and Mary Dee Thompson.

HI, STRANGER

SBCC’s Atkinson Gallery is opening “HERSELF: Girlhood in Stop Motion Film” on Friday, January 26, 5 to 7 pm, for a truly multi-media group show. Five stop-motion animators who

on hand, 4 pm on that same Friday, at Humanities 111 to speak. The show runs through March 23.

(219 Gray Ave.). Also featuring Dug Uyesaka’s recent works on paper in the side gallery.

IVORY TOWER

RUMBLE AT THE TABLE

Michael C. Armour has his studio in the top two levels of Silo118 (118 Gray Ave.), and occasionally shows a piece or two in its group shows. But it’s been almost two years since his last one-person show. For those wondering what’s he’s been up to up there, “River” will show various oil paintings and works on paper. Through March 14.

More abstraction at the Santa Barbara Tennis Club (2375 Foothill Road), where Susan Tibbles brings forth The Abstract 8 – Jeanne Dentzel, Lee Ann Dollison, Kenny A. McAshan, Cynthia Martin, Scott Miller, Judy Neunuebel, Chelsea Owens, Maureen Troy, along with founders Maria Miller and Karen Zazon. Yes, you missed the reception, but it’s up till Friday, February 2, ya cheeky freeloader!

I ran into Crista Dix the other night and pined for the days when her Wall Space Gallery was one of the goto locations in the Funk Zone. I was heartened to hear that she has curated a photography show at the Guilded Table (120 Santa Barbara St., in the back of Topa Topa) while across the room, blimey! Nathan Vonk of Sullivan Goss is also curating a show. No Sharks vs.

Jets rumbles here my friends, as they both want to bring great art to the Funk Zone, where the beer and wine reception is ongoing. Dix presents “Sea Change,” a photo series by Venicebased Marian Crostic that explores the sea in high contrast; Vonk in his new sg_Xc (Sullivan Goss Xtra Curricular) series features Stephanie Dotson, Inga Guzyte, Michael Matheson, Ethan Turpin, Dug Uyesaka, and Sue Van Horsen. Through Saturday, February 20.

KEEPING IT REEL

TIKI TIME

ALL FOR ACHT

First up, “Click 2”, MichaelKate’s second annual photography show at the furniture shop-slash-gallery (132 Santa Barbara St.), curated by Jan Ziegler. Two of the photographers we’ve featured many times here before: Patricia Clarke, who vacillates between evocative black-and-white imagery and photojournalism, and Sol Hill, who pushes digital sensors to the limit and finds the ghost (of pointillism) in the machine. Joining them is Jim McKinnis, Carol Paquet (kaleidoscopic visions), Stephen Robeck (whose close-ups of bark and

straddle both the film and art world will show their work, but also their stills, drawings, and objects, all centered on girlhood and coming of age. Rita Basulto, Laura Krifka, Heidi Kumao, Kirsten Lepore, and Suraya Raja all have completely different approaches to their meticulous craft, some dreamy, some disturbing. For the latter, by the way, it has to be Kirsten Lepore, whose “Hi Stranger” short became a viral film last year due to it being both relaxing and anxiety inducing, depending on the viewer. (Seriously, Google it.)

Filmmakers Krifka and Kumao will be

Painter Erik Reel was one of several artists evacuated during the fire, and so his show “Beyond Fire and Smoke” is an artistic homecoming after a period of uncertainty and anxiety. His works present “non-objective imagery” that exists just beyond the boundary of comprehension – but hey, we’re human, we’re still gonna try to figure it out. Through March 11 at Gray Space

Mony’s (217 Anacapa St.) is the Funk Zone’s go-to stop for tacos (and one of the few affordably priced options in the area – they just need to open later), but this month they are also showing a fun selection of Sheryl Shroeder’s tiki masks made from recycled palm fronds. These are perfect for your tiki bar, and they are priced to sell, so go check ‘em out.

18 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

PLANB by Briana Westmacott When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multitasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky.

Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

SOMETIMES, THERE WILL BE DAYS LIKE THIS

My dad taught me how to shoot the hills on a Big Wheel

T

his past month can only be described as tragic for the Santa Barbara community, especially those based in Montecito. Our hearts are swollen and cracking for friends who are displaced, suffering the loss of homes or worse, their loved ones. It’s unthinkable… until it isn’t.

While I personally did not endure loss directly from the natural disaster, there was a time period between the fire and the flood when I lost my father.

During December when friends asked of my well-being, I couldn’t muster much more than an “okay,” busily swirling in the holidays, the Thomas Fire, my dad’s heart attack, and moving into a new home. When I was prompted, “Okay” became the go-to response, until “I’m okay” didn’t work anymore.

There was a stretch of time at the end of 2017 when my impulsive reply changed to “I’ve been better.” This was when I was told by doctors to say goodbye to my father in an ICU in Mexico.

It’s times like these that force you to find new footing. “What do we absolutely need if the fire reaches our home?” my husband asked me over an international phone connection. I was numb with exhaustion from living in an ICU in Puerto Vallarta with my father, who had suffered a massive cardiac arrest, and my only thought was, “I just need my dad to live.”

While six people and 60 minutes of CPR spared his life, the month that followed led to many complications and multiple procedures. Our willpower was tested, especially my dad’s.

After 18 days in Mexico, my dad was finally stable enough for us to get him a medevac back to the states. We brought

him to the U.S. in an air ambulance jet plane. But, he didn’t land there for long, and never in a stable way. Doctors quickly transferred him from Santa Rosa to San Francisco in a helicopter; we did all that we could.

He made it to California Pacific Medical Center at 8 pm on December 28, and the following morning I was told to get in the car; I had five hours of driving and crying ahead of me. I was just 20 minutes from reaching him when he passed. My three sisters and his beloved wife, Marcia, were there to hold his hand. I, however, missed that moment.

Days like these do not have a calendar. The moment I was made aware of my dad’s emergency, I bought a one-way ticket to Puerto Vallarta.

My life will never be the same. When I saw him unconscious in that hospital bed, hooked up to a ventilator and a hundred other tubes and wires, I changed. Hours, days, and weeks passed in the ICU. Food was forgotten.

Moments were dictated by when I would be allowed to hold his hand. I did get a chance to say my goodbyes to him in Mexico. I believe that adios is what he wanted from me.

This year opened with the loss of my father, one of the most important people I have known in my lifetime.

When his heart stopped, mine broke. I pay him tribute with these words. Those who knew Larry were lucky.

LAWRENCE WILSON PALMER – MY DAD March 11, 1947 – December 29, 2017 Larry: a seeker, a thinker, a joker, a dreamer. His journey began with

I’m grateful for this moment and so many others

a childhood in North Hollywood, followed by his graduation from San Diego State, his life in Malibu, travel in Afghanistan, and the cultivation of family and friends in Willits and Punta Mita, Mexico.

Larry worked as a math teacher, a plumber, and a business manager in Mexico. More importantly to him, he was a brother, an uncle, a father, a grandfather, and a husband. He built a couple of homes from the ground up; one to house his family, and one to house his sweet, semi-retired life in Mexico. More impressive than his houses were the six children who he built within his life. His pride is something that I will have to figure out how to breathe without. One of his grandchildren once said, “When he laughed, it made me laugh.” My dad successfully constructed happiness.

It is hard to imagine Larry without a camper van. Always practical, my dad could turn a small space into a dreamer’s getaway. He and his wife, Marcia, spent countless hours, days, weeks in the van, on the road. Larry and Marcia. Marcia and Larry. Every year, they would follow the Dave Matthews Band in the van all the way up the Pacific Northwest.

My dad had a strong affinity for both Marcia and music.

In the latter years, Mexico developed a place of permanence in Larry’s heart with its relaxed culture, open souls, and white sand beneath his bare feet. There is a large community in Punta Mita,

Mexico, who cherishes and loves him.

It turns out, my dad’s boisterous belly laugh, warm smile, big hugs, and tender soul were bilingual.

In the end, my dad’s heart was just too big for this world. After 70 good years, he left this planet. Ram Dass said, “We are all just walking each other home,” an idea my dad would be happy to emphasize to the many loved ones he left behind.

Larry often said he was more interested in becoming a human “being” than a human “doing.” My dad was a man of the moment. He taught me to focus on the here and now. I will always miss him. For now, I’ll keep on trying to be “okay.”

BRIANA’S BEST BET There are so many community members who are struggling with the catastrophic loss caused by the Montecito mudslides. I’ve gathered a list of possible resources you can use to provide help to those in need. Please consider contributing to these local foundations and families to help build Santa Barbara’s strength: • United Way Thomas Fire and Flood Fund • Direct Relief • Hospice of Santa Barbara • Santa Barbara Humane Society • The American Red Cross • GoFundMe-you can search for Montecito families to support

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

19

20 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

ON ART

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Margaret Landreau

In the last 18 years, Margaret Landreau has accumulated 13 years of serving on the Board of Directors of Santa Barbara County arts-related nonprofits and has worked as a freelance arts writer for 10 years. She creates her own art in her Carpinteria studio.

SUSAN HUGO

S

usan Hugo is among a small group of artists whose creations can’t help standing out among their contemporaries. Meeting her in her jewelry booth, you may not realize that what draws you in is that you get the whole package. Her jewelry creations are unique originals, her displays create an atmosphere, her personal style goes one step further and completes the “look” that comes from her.

People can’t help wanting to adopt that style and take a little bit of it home with them, and it’s a look that most people wear comfortably.

Although it flows naturally from her, Hugo’s look isn’t accidental. She earned a B.A. from Cal State Northridge in fashion design and another in interior design from SBCC, after moving to Santa Barbara. In 1999, she opened her kitchen and bath design company. She says, “I thought you had to have long, thin, dexterous fingers to create jewelry.”

She kept walking by the adult education studio thinking, “I wish I was in there

working.”

She took her first jewelry class in 2013. In 2015, while setting up a trade show, her husband (who she credits with being tremendously supportive of her endeavors) asked, “Can’t you design jewelry? We could carry it in just one case.” And that’s how Bee Hive Jewelry

began.

Hugo creates in sterling silver, bronze, and gold-filled metals with glass and stones. “I like to mix metals,” she says.

“I might cast different shapes to solder together in different ways. I’ll make a shape without knowing how I’ll use it, I let things happen, I like to leave some things to chance. Accidents are always great for adapting something new. I like working with irregular shapes, to find a shape I’d never dream of and let that shape inspire me.

“I love taking wire and a bit of glass and turning it into a bright shiny piece of jewelry. I create in my mind, not on paper. It’s all fun for me, the alchemy of creating from metal and casting it, and then it’s there. That’s rewarding for me, having people tell me they get compliments, that it’s their favorite piece of jewelry, I just want them to be happy.”

Hugo says she’s always been artistic: “I never had any question, creating has always been my gift.” She has made wood, metal, and resin sculptures, and dabbled in printmaking, silk-screening. painting on fabric, batiking, and photography.

Hugo’s creations are in Ojai’s OVA Gallery, Lotusland, at Santa Barbara Artwalk along Cabrillo Beach, at Maker’s Market in Paseo Nuevo; and February 9-10 and 14 at Gersh Park’s fundraiser across the parking lot from Goleta’s Costco. Contact Hugo at (805) 895-1150, susan@beehivejewelry and Beehivejewelry.com.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

IHeart SB

By Elizabeth Rose

I Heart SB is the diary of Elizabeth Rose, a thirty-something navigating life, love, and relationships in the Greater Santa Barbara area. Thoughts or comments? Email ihearterose@gmail.com

NOT SO PERFECT STORM

I

t’s 1 in the morning, we’re just south of Point Arena, and I am at the end of my three-hour watch. The evening was pretty uneventful until about five minutes ago, when the wind completely changed direction. The thick bulky waves we once surfed down now turned into confused seas when the wind shifted, hitting us directly on the nose.

I climbed down into the cabin to wake Jason for his turn. Gently nudging him, I gave him a brief weather report. “The wind shifted and it’s pretty nasty out there,” I said. “You may want to wear your balaclava. The northerly winds have turned southerly. It’s cold and it’s gonna be a wet one.” He slid into his foulweather gear as I peeled out of mine. I felt a little sorry that he had to put up with this sloppy mess but was more relieved I didn’t have to and could lie down to try and get some sleep.

As soon as I nestled in the quarter birth, the narrow bed below the companion way stairs, the bow of the boat plunged violently forward like a roller coaster, shot up and became airborne, then slammed on the water with a loud Boom!

“F*ck!” Jason yelled. I immediately jerked out of bed, pissed that he would raise my fear to the level of the F-word. “You’re not allowed to say that!” I screamed.

As the captain, he was supposed to remain calm. Plus, we had agreed: Unless the boat was sinking, the F-word was off limits. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jason said. “But I’m going to need you alert, possibly in the cockpit with me.” I groaned, partly

Each motion made my stomach drop out of fear and partly because this was my only chance to sleep. But obviously, sleep wasn’t going to happen even if I wanted it to.

“At least put your foul-weather gear on while you lie down,” he said. “And have your boots and life vest nearby and ready.” I nodded. “Okay,” I said. “I can deal with that.” I pulled my waterproof overalls back on and hung my jacket and vest on the hook near my head and placed my boots at the edge of the bed. Boom!

The boat lurched forward then jerked back like a dog being yanked on a leash.

My heart racing, I curled into the fetal position and hid under wool blankets, praying to every god I could think of, trying to distract myself from the thought of our boat breaking apart.

It was non-stop. Rather than wobbling side to side, abeam to swell like we’re used to, we were bouncing up and down. Dip, yank, boom! It was total discomfort.

Each motion made my stomach drop. (Think of the worst turbulence you’ve ever experienced on an airplane, plus the terror that goes along with it over and over again for three hours.) My muscles felt as if they were clenched to my bones, holding on for dear life.

I tried to meditate to remain calm but fear took over and I thought, Jason wouldn’t have asked me to put my foul-weather gear on unless it was an emergency.

So now, all I could imagine was the location of our life raft and if we would be able to deploy it without falling overboard into a cold, black, watery tomb. My body started shaking and convulsing, the fear inside me needing to get out. Then I started to laugh. My emotions were as disoriented as the sea, and comic relief was the only thing that could save me. Dip, yank, boom! Fear seized my thoughts once again: Is this what it means to laugh in the face of death?

Three hours passed in what seemed like 30 very long minutes. As fast as the storm came, it went. The waves slowly dissipated and the boat wobbled intermittently, a sign that we were at the end of this mess and my heart could settle back to normal. By this time, it was 5 in the morning and I was exhausted, hadn’t slept a wink.

Jason bent down and stroked my forehead. “Okay, love. It’s your turn.” I opened my eyes, unmoved from the fetal position, and stared back at him thinking, you gotta be kidding me.

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

21

22 |

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

READY, SET, DINE!

F

ollowing in stylish culinary suit with California’s 8th annual statewide Restaurant Month in January, the 8th Annual Santa Ynez Valley Restaurant Week gets cooking Sunday, January 21, and runs through Saturday, January 27. Restaurants throughout Santa Ynez, Solvang, Buellton, Ballard, Los Olivos, and Los Alamos are offering three-course prix fixe tasting menus for $20.18 (excluding tax, tip and beverages).

The statewide event showcases California’s agricultural variety while highlighting and drawing in tourism. The Valley weeklong version clearly aims to do the same, as well as be a food lover’s utopia – with more than 24 participating restaurants flaunting their cuisine, wine-pairing specials, and exclusive seasonal offerings.

California’s 2018 restaurant promotion launched its biggest year yet on New Year’s Day with eateries across the state rolling out prix fixe menus paired with exclusive dining promotions and experiences. This year’s celebration includes 37 participating destinations from across the state – the most in the event’s history.

“We’re excited to kick off 2018 with California Restaurant Month, a celebration that highlights the depth and breadth of California’s culinary diversity,” says Visit California president and CEO Caroline Beteta. “Destinations throughout the state are celebrating local flavors from seafood and wine to garlic, pomegranates, and even cheeseburgers, showcasing culinary experiences that are exclusive to the Golden State.”

Restaurant Week brings people into restaurants during a traditionally slow time, giving chefs and restaurateurs an opportunity to showcase their tastes and talents to a wider audience. It also draws hospitality staff into restaurants, so they can share what they know with tourists, and locals can enjoy what’s around them… for bragging rights.

“Many locals across Santa Barbara County come out to revisit and discover what’s new, while folks from across the state have it in their calendars to visit the Santa Ynez Valley during this very exciting gastronomical week,” says Shelby Sim, president & CEO of Visit the Santa Ynez Valley (who was promoted from executive director at the beginning of the year).

Participating restaurants have posted their menus online atwww.dinesyv.com.

Featured main-course selections include: Tostones Con Camarones A La Diabla or “Plantains And Spicy Shrimp” (Industrial Eats in Buellton), Classic Chicken Parmigiana (Leonardo’s Cucina Italiana), 8-oz Wagyu Beef Burger with Tillamook Sharp Cheddar, pickled red onion, local lettuce, bacon aioli, potato roll and hand cut fries with smoked sea salt (Root 246).

Historically, this has been a highly attended week; reservations book out quickly.

There is a lot of creativity happening in Santa Ynez Valley, and Restaurant Week debuts some of the direction the Valley is going, which is showing more variety and innovation.

Several tasting rooms and wineries will also be offering special wine and small bite pairings, and a handful of hotels will offer hotel packages or discounted rates.

Reservations are highly recommended. Menus are being added daily; for more current information, visit www.dinesyv.com.

MY PERSONAL PICKS, BEST BETS, HOT TIPS, SAVE THE DATES, AND THINGS NOT TO MISS! HOT DOWNWARD DOG uicy Life Yoga Studio is the newest addition to businesses tucked in, around, and just off Numancia Street in Santa Ynez. Founder and CEO of The Juicy Life brand, Kimberly Zimmerman, has made it her “life’s mission to help you live your juiciest life possible through body movement, vibrant nutrition, and the strength of community.” Kimberly’s yoga, coaching, and wellness program includes her freshly pressed juices. “My juices are seasonal, local, and organic. We make small batches of fresh-pressed juice based on what is available,” says Kimberly, adding that the juices are seasonal, change each week “and are created based on what is fresh, most delicious, and available at our local farmers markets and directly from the farm itself.”

The yoga studio offers heated power yoga, yin yoga, and prenatal yoga. Classes are

J

held Monday through Saturday.

Where: Juicy Life Yoga Studio, 3595 Numancia Street, unit BB in Santa Ynez Info: www.thejuicylifeyoga.com CROSSHATCH WINES or a purely novel experience that embraces the height of Solvang’s whimsical Danish charm, climb the two flights of stairs and step into the petite CrossHatch wine-tasting room nestled on the 2nd floor of Alisal Road’s historic 1940s windmill.

A sister label to Carr Vineyard & Winery, CrossHatch focuses on co-fermentation, offering two white and two red wines. “Where Carr Vineyard & Winery makes 100-percent varietals, winemaker/owner Ryan Carr picks, crushes, and ferments different varietals together on the same day,” says Tasting Room manager Jourdan Gantt. The bright space opened over Labor Day weekend last year and is filled with natural light, and small tables inside and outside on the windmill’s tiny circular terrace overlook the bustle of downtown Solvang and out over valley views.

CrossHatch offers four wines and encourages guests to bring in a bite to eat from their neighbors Tower Pizza, Solvang Bakery, and Vinhus (candy, chocolate, and imported cheeses).

When: Open Daily from noon to 7 pm Where: CrossHatch Winery, 436 Alisal Road in Solvang Cost: $15 per wine-tasting flight with a take-home glass Info: www.crosshatchwinery.com

F

ROYAL FLUSH AT THE MAVERICK SALOON n 1963, Jerry and Diane Thompson opened the Maverick Saloon, which they named after the TV series starring James Garner. In 2003, Mark and Travis Burnett became the sixth owners of the Maverick Saloon, and at the end of 2017 Jimmy and Karen Loizides became “lucky number seven” as new owners of this long-standing, classic honky-tonk watering hole and dance hall in Santa Ynez.

Upgrades, improvements, and renovations were made without changing the character or integrity of the saloon. The logo mirrors, posters, lighted beer signs, rusted horseshoe, and the ceiling covered with dollar bills will be mainstays. “And yes… we fixed the bathrooms!” read promotional shirts worn by staff advertising the Maverick Saloon’s new opening. And golly darn… rumor has it that music with foul language in any form – live or jukebox – got the “cowboy” boot too.

Where: Maverick Saloon, 3687 Sagunto Street in Solvang Info: www.mavericksaloon.org or call (805) 686-4785

I

MUSHROOMS GONE WILD! edford Winery’s 11th Annual Mushroom Festival Brings in a culinary celebration of the fungus among us. The afternoon affair unites mushroom and wine lovers alike to revel in the gustation of mushroom-centric dishes and Bedford wine. Locally harvested, cultivated mushrooms are featured along with those brought in from Oregon. Dried and fresh, there is a multitude of varieties including Chanterelles, Hedgehogs, Shitake, Porcini, Oyster, Candy Caps, and Black Trumpet. The fare ranges from simply grilled buttons to complex layered pâtés and wood-fired flatbreads prepared by the Bedford Culinary Kitchen headed by winemaker Stephan Bedford.

Noted mushroom expert and “funguy” Bob Cummings will be on hand for those interested in expanding their fungus knowledge, along with impressive exhibits of edible and inedible mushrooms, and an extensive collection of mushroom-related books and field guides to peruse.

When: Saturday, January 27, from 2 to 5 pm Where: Bedford Winery Tasting Room & Courtyard, 448 Bell Street in Los Alamos Cost: Cost: $50 per person, $40 for wine club members Info: Reservations recommended (805) 344-2107

B

JA N UA RY 1 9 – F E B R UA RY 9 | 2 0 1 8 |

23

K Perez

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Vino Vaqueros Horseback Riding Private Horseback Riding with or without Wine Tasting in The Santa Ynez Valley Call or Click for Information and Reservations (805) 944-0493 www.vinovaqueros.com

On your next visit to Santa Ynez, come visit the new boutique in town...

Charlotte’s. We feature beautiful pieces from the Southwest, as well as Mexico, and Italy. We also have Western art, handcrafted silver bits and spurs and more. Our mission is to find our customers quality pieces to fit any budget.

Because everyone needs a treasure...

Thursday - Monday • 10:30 AM - 5:30 PM

3551 Sagunto St. Santa Ynez, CA (805) 688-0016 • info@CharlottesSY.com

E X PE RT I S E Expert advice.

Comprehensive solutions.

Extraordinary results.

Helping to optimize your financial success.

©Richard Schloss

Tax • Audit • Estate Planning • Business Consulting • Cost Segregation • Litigation Support • ERP & CRM Software w w w. b p w. c o m | (805) 963-7811 | Santa Barbara, CA

SELLER FINANCING AVAILABLE WITH ONLY $500K DOWN AND $15K MONTHLY PAYMENTS ON EITHER PROPERTY ALSO AVAILABLE FOR RENT OR LEASE/PURCHASE OPTION 2835 Gibraltar Rd

SANTA BARBARA COMPOUND

S

tunning home where peace and quiet prevail. Gated, private, 18 acres with expansive city, ocean and island views. Custom 4/4 home with wine cellar, finished attic, pool, spa, sauna, cabana, 1/1 guesthouse, 3-car garage w. office and bath. 16’ x 1500’ concrete driveway, mature landscaping, 30,000 gal. in-ground concrete water storage, private water wells. Helicopter pad possible. MLS # 17-1585 Price: $3,498,000.00.

2690 Gibraltar Rd

BUILD YOUR OWN DREAM HOUSE

M

ost spectacular view property in Santa Barbara Co. with views from Pt. Concepcion to Pt. Mugu.

Gated, private, 22 acres, zoned 40 acre AG, esp. important for cannabis growers with permits. Room for green houses. Building plans available for 4500 s.f. 4/4 home with 4-car garage on 3/4 acre site, all amenities in, just pull permits. 16’ x 1500’ concrete driveway. Existing 3/2 guesthouse w. 3-car garage. 300 Hass avocado trees. Private water wells. 11 min. to Milpas/101. MLS # 17-1447 Price: $2,998,000.00

Just 3.3 miles from Foothill Rd., 11 min. to Milpas/101. Both properties can be bought together for anyone looking for an extended family compound for $6.3 M. Properties Unaffected by Thomas Fire or Flooding.

HELEN LARSEN REALTY Helen Larsen, Broker

Home/Office 805-964-1891 | Cell: 208-755-2616 | www.HelenL@helenlarsenrealty.com CA. License # 00893031

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday, January 21, 1-3pm