Volume XXXV Issue IV

TABLE OF CONTENTS EDITORIALS Lonely Brook

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TEDxSBU Real Negus USG Campus Bus Updates

5 6 7

NEWS

FEATURES Pumpkin Beer-a-poolooza Seven Days of Zeta Shaggin’ Wagon

8 9 10

CULTURE “Scariest” Places on Campus Movie Halloween Costumes Video Games I was Too Afraid to Play Nutshell New York Comic Con Horror Movie Remakes Stadiums of S%#t

11 12 13 14 15-17 18-19 20-22

Unplugged Don’t be Creepy

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OPINION SPORTS

Soccer Draws with Binghamton

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THE STONY BROOK PRESS EXECUTIVE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR BUSINESS MANAGER ART DIRECTOR NEWS EDITOR NEWS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR CULTURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR WEB EDITOR OPINION EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR COPY EDITOR COPY EDITOR MINISTER OF ARCHIVES DISTRIBUTION MANAGER OMBUDSMAN

JODIE WOLFMANN NICK VAMPIREBATSON R.I.P.ECCA TAPIO JASMINE HAEFNIGHTMARE JESSE FANG JOHN SLASHER JASMINE HAEFNIGHTMARE BUSHCLAW MOLLICK BEATRICE VANTAGHOUL MAUI CRUISEJERKMAN DANIEL SLASHSCAR BRAIN MAILER OLIVIA 3RD DEGREE BURN CLEAVIN’ LUNG SPAWN FISSURE GILGA THRESH ANDREW CASCARY E. VON GHOULDAPER

STAFF SURAIYA AFEARNA JESPYSCHO BEEBE TERROR BELLINGER NICOLE CONDEMNS SIOBHAMPIRE CASSIDY ARIELLE TROLLINGER RACHAEL ELLEN-BOO-GEN

STYX GILBERT-PETROVIC BRYAN GUT-ME TOMB JOHNSON MAGGY KILL-BOY PRISCILA KORPSE DEVIL LEWIS CRUEL LIEBRAINS BRIANA LIONYETI

The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, a student-run non-profit organization funded by the Student Activity Fee. The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as a whole.

Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect editorial policy.

Staff meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00 p.m.

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The Stony Brook Press Suites 060&061 Student Union SUNY at Stony Brook Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200 Email: editors@sbpress.com

EDITORIALS

LONELY BROOK

How do you get students to stay at school on the weekends, when they would normally be heading back home to work or do their laundry or eat actual food? For the Undergraduate Student Government, making off-campus areas more accessible could be one possible solution.

Two bus services are currently in the works, with one available earlier than the other: a route directly to Port Jefferson that stops at the movie theater, and one that makes travel to New York City cheaper than any other form of public transit at an estimated cool $7.00.

This could, potentially, increase student’s involvement in the towns surrounding the university. But as anyone who’s been at the school for more than a week knows, getting anywhere without a car is a total bear. Suffolk County Transit buses are consistently late, and driven so that riders do not feel safe at all.

Cab companies around campus charge super high prices, which of course comes with the territory of driving in a place where everything you want to get to is spread out. ($16 to go from the Port Jeff ferry to campus? Seriously?)

While bus routes on the weekends do stop in key places like Pathmark, Wal-Mart, Target and the Smith Haven Mall, their latest route leaves at 5:15 p.m. That doesn’t leave a hell of a lot of time for activities outside of grocery shopping and perusing Forever 21 for a little while.

The Suffolk County buses only cost $1 for Stony Brook students, but their arrival at a certain time is typically a crapshoot.

A few small stores are located within reasonable walking distance from campus, including 1089 Noodle House, The Bench, a Dunkin Donuts where they don’t cut your bagel for you, and of course 7-Eleven for all your booze and drunken snack needs.

Along Main Street in Port Jefferson, there are a solid number 4 Oct. 23 2013

of little stores and restaurants. There’s even a Gap! Specialty boutiques and retailers, however, don’t necessarily call to the student population in large numbers as much as they do to the tourists who visit the village every year. A late-night bus route, which would run from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m., is part of USG’s proposal, but this will not solve the problem of keeping students on campus on the weekends.

The second proposal, for a bus route that makes it even cheaper for students to get to Manhattan, will absolutely not solve the problem. The demand for this service will be very high, considering the amount of people who commute to and from Brooklyn and Queens, but it will not keep students here on the weekends.

The solution will come when a college town is created around Stony Brook University. Plans to create just this along Route 25A, where the 7-Eleven and Bench and 1089 Noodle House already form the basis for foot traffic from the university, are in the works from President Stanley. Pushback from the local community, who believe that their quality of life and the value of their homes will be decreased, is available in abundance.

The only way to create a more involved and present campus community is to actually make a community that they can be a part of, and proud of. Look at SUNY New Paltz: their campus publication is the main source of news for the local community, and students are the economic base of the Village of New Paltz.

Students need more than just something to do, expensive stores to shop in and places they have to budget excess time to get to and from. They need to feel like they’re a part of the Stony Brook campus community. They need to feel like this is home.

NEWS

TEDXSBU

by Maggy Kilroy Stony Brook University received global attention for hosting a TEDx event on Oct 10, 2013 for the first time. TEDx events are a subcategory in the giant world of TED, a nonprofit organization “devoted to ideas worth spreading.”

With only 100 attendees allowed in the audience (50 during Beat One and 50 during Beat Two), the intimate setting allowed speakers to discuss anything from conservation to performing a song about movement as if they were talking to a small class.

These discussions were headed by a committee who went through an extensive six-month process of sorting through candidate applications in order to develop “Our Beat.”

“We choose the theme kind of inspired and based on some of the nominations that were coming through,” said committee member and TLT’s Instructional Technologist Jennifer Jaiswal.

“The beat kind of became more the idea of heartbeat because we had so many medical processes coming in, it was the beat of music we were going to be playing, news reporter’s beats, police beat—it was all of these different things that kind of tied in and we just thought that was a really great theme.”

From 9 am to a reception that refused to die down, the event drew attention across the university and world wide wide. People not in attendance were able to stream live video via livestream as well as the live broadcast by WUSB. Twitter was alive with hundreds of #tedxsbu tagged tweets. 1,600 watched online on top of the attendees who applied for tickets earlier in the year.

“We’re getting a lot of feedback from the livestream, we’re getting a lot of feedback from Twitter and we’re very pleased with our results,” Jaiswal said.

Jennifer Adam, the woman in charge of the whole event, has been working on bringing TED to Stony Brook for the past two years. She earned her “TED license” and began by holding small luncheons to preview TED Talks culminating in TEDxSBU. All of her hard work has paid off as the university looks forward to continuing this tradition next year.

“Everybody’s realizing that this is potentially very important for the university because it does put us on a global platform,” said Adams. “Potentially, this is really huge for Stony Brook.”

SEVEN DAYS OF ZETA

by Bushra Mollick Stony Brook University celebrated Zeta Week, a series of events hosted by the sisters of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. from Oct. 14-20.

The Zetas offered varying activities, from high-intensity zumba classes, to a self-identity program, collaborated with the LGBTA. Programs aside however, the history of Zeta Phi Beta’s Greek rise proves that these ladies in royal blue and pure white have more to offer than just a few moves.

Zeta Phi Beta was founded in 1920 at Howard University, and is one of nine Greek organizations that make up the Divine Nine. The Divine Nine, or D9 as some call it, refers to the first nine black fraternities and sororities founded in the United States. The first D9 organization was founded in 1906, Alpha Kappa Alpha fraternity at Cornell University. Zeta Phi Beta places seventh, chronologically, on the list of D9 organizations.

All of the Divine Nine organizations are a part of the National Pan-Hellenic Council. While the term, “Divine Nine” is typically used as a title to describe the unprecedented formation of the black organizations during their time, the National PanHellenic Council is the collaborative council that unifies all nine groups. The NPHC was formed in 1930.

“The Zeta’s, as well as all of the members of the National Pan-Hellenic Council, have always been an integral part of our

fraternity and sorority community at Stony Brook University,” says Assistant Director for Fraternity and Sorority Life, Kimberly Stokely, “NPHC organizations were the initial fraternities and sororities that were established at the Stony Brook University campus.”

The Zetas’ programs continued for seven days, with different issues covered. The first program, title “I.L.Y!”, discussed the affect of social media on college students overall. Tuesday’s program “Can I Have Some More, Sir?”, was a collaborative event, with the help of FSA and the Campus Dietician, Kristina Tiernan.

“Rock the Vote” on Oct. 16 event encouraged students to vote and become active respondents to political campaigns.

Thursday’s program focused on the different issues faced by people of color within the LGBTA community.

The events held for the weekend, however, were much less educational and focused more on fun activities, such as zumba on Friday, a Halloween extravaganza on Saturday, and finally a Walk for Beauty on Sunday.

The Zeta Chapter at Stony Brook, Theta Kappa, holds their chapter meetings on Mondays.

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NEWS

MALIK FRATERNITY TALKS “NEGUS”

by Maggy Kilroy

“How many of you have used the ‘n’ word?”

Hands hesitantly rose from a crowd of about 40 people of mixed ethnicities.

Every single person in the audience at Malik Fraternity’s Real Negus presentation on October 10, 2013 admitted to using this word whether derogatorily or just in passing.

The purpose of the event was to explore the evolution of this word that has so much, or so little meaning in society our today.

Members from different classes of Malik presented the history of “negus,” which dates back to the Ethiopian term for royalty.

A word used for kings became depreciated to the term used for slaves in America in the time of slavery.

Now it is passed around casually in pop culture and has trickled down to become a slang word like twerk or rachet.

Has society lost touch with where this word came from?

That was what Malik asked the panel of two caucasion and two black student judges: Gabe Ruttner - Caucasian, Kalin Sims - African American Jasmine Haefner – Caucasian and Esther-Lauren Mutolo – African American.

Mutolo began the discussion with a personal experience of when she was called the “n” word in elementary school.

“I felt bad for the girl,” said Mutolo. “At such a young age, she knew what it meant and used it in a hateful manner.”

The discussion then opened up to the audience as questions were raised about why the ‘n’ word is used, how it is used and if that’s ok.

“It wasn’t that it was ok, that’s just the way we talked,” said Jasmine, a panelist.

The audience joined in with their own opinions giving perspectives from completely different socioeconomical backgrounds as well as ethnicities.

Pascal Messaussa, a Malik brother and graduate student, has been trying to bring awareness to his generation for the past four years. This was his brainchild and finally he’s seen a productive, educational debate on something that matters to him.

“I’ve never seen such effective discussion from a really respectful audience,” said senior psychology major, Bahtara Keita.

“I just want people to think about it before they talk,” said Messaussa.

Jasmine Haefner, an editor at The Press, was a panelist but had no part in the writing of this piece.

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Oct. 23 2013

MAGGY’S TAKE:

A redheaded, blue-eyed girl sitting in the audience, I am the minority.

It’s not something where I feel uncomfortable.

I’m intrigued to hear mixed races discuss an issue that hits so close to home.

Raised in the south, the “n” word has never been something I considered casual. The only time it was used was with the hard –er. It just was not something we threw around.

I am lucky enough to have been raised by two parents who taught me that no one—regardless of their skin tone—should be reduced to labels.

In third grade we learned about the slave age. To help us understand how people were treated then, each day of an entire week a part of the class was separated by some sort of physical characteristic.

I’ll never forget standing with the blue-eyed kids in the back of the line to the cafeteria and sitting at our isolated table in silence. I have never felt so ashamed of something I was born with—even as a ginger.

Moving to New York was a huge culture shock.

People were carelessly using “nigga” instead of “dude” or “biddie” all around me. It was normal.

I’ve never thought of it as a “term of endearment” like the majority of the audience at Real Negus concluded.

Yes, it’s used in lyrics all the time, and yes even I’ve said it. And while I understand it has become part of our vernacular, every time I hear it coming out of my mouth I immediately feel ashamed.

This isn’t because I’m a white girl, raised in the south. It’s simply because I know it is still used to segregate an entire race.

What I took away from the presentation was it’s not “should we use it or shouldn’t we.” The point the brothers of Malik made in their presentation was to understand what you are saying before saying it.

NEWS

USG PROPOSES NEW BUS ROUTES

by Daine Taylor

For many Stony Brook students, the idea of a regular coach service from campus into the city is a school-related dream come true, but this is really is one of several potential additions to the campus bus route that may be coming soon. In a joint effort by the Undergraduate Student Government, the Student Activities Board and the Department of Transportation, plans to extend the campus’ bus routes may come to fruition as soon as next semester.

“We’ve had talks with the department of transportation for the last 3 or 4 months now and we brought a proposal to have a Friday night bus route and a late night bus route from 9pm to 3am,” said Mario Ferone, vice president of communications and public relations. “It would go from here to Port Jeff, and then stop at the movie theatre on the way back as an idea

to keep [students] on the weekends, and give them something to do.”

One proposal that the Department of Transportation is seriously considering is a pay-as-you-go coach bus service that would go from campus to the city, as an alternative to the Long Island Railroad.

Recently, USG conducted a survey in order to gauge interests in these bus services and get student feedback.

“The survey showed overwhelming support for the coach buses,” said Ferone.

“We’ll be meeting with a coach bus service in the next two weeks.” USG is currently considering 7bus as a vendor to offer rides from Stony Brook campus to Manhattan, for as little as $7.

Among those heading this project are president of USG Adil Hussain, Director of Sustainability and Transportation Operations James O’Connor, and Mario

Ferone.

According to Ferone, if they decide to move forward, the changes probably wouldn’t be implemented until the spring semester.

“Both me and Adil think this will be a good service but we wouldn’t want to push for something that students don’t want, especially if it increases your fee. We’re going to see if students actually support this. We’re really trying to get student input, and that’s a plus on our side.”

They are currently sending out bid sheets to different vendors to identify interested parties and get pricing quotes.

Before anything can happen however, USG would have to go before an advisory board which, because the plan would involve a fee increase, is open to all students.

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FEATURES

WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE DRIVER’S SEAT OF A WAGON THAT’S SHAGGIN’

by Megan Miller You’ve picked up The Stony Brook Press and are now currently reading “What Happens Behind the Driver’s Seat of a Wagon that’s Shaggin’.” I want you, before you continue any further, to do me a favor: Look to your left. Now look to your right.

Students. Everywhere. Most of whom are trekking around campus with bulging book bags and their third cup of coffee, looks of intrepid determination or exhausted angst residing behind mascaraed eyelashes and dark circles. This is the Stony Brook University student body, and despite our differences, there is something we all share: a story and some means of transportation.

Among the bicycles, buses, cars and Porsche’s (Yes, I have seen a student driving one, and I feel it belongs in a class of its own) there lies the Shaggin‘ Wagon a 1993 Toyota Previa thats outer appearance rivals that of the Porsche— perhaps not for its provocative sleekness, but for its ultimate dissent from the norm.

It’s a van that transcends what it is to be a van: ethereal, pastel paisleys intertwine with music notes along its silver shell, its doors display 1960s and 70s tributes in the form of decorative peace-signs and free L.O.V.E references, the hubcaps sport rainbow, and a pair of salacious red lips painted with impressive precision across the side lure any onlooker closer.

But what’s more than the physical dichotomy of the Shaggin’ Wagon and the Porsche is the driver behind one of them: Suzie DiGioia, a Stony Brook University senior majoring in bio-chemistry, and the proud owner of the Shaggin’ Wagon. But like our fellow Stony Brook peers, Suzanne not only comes with a story—she comes with something to teach.

On a clear, bright Friday afternoon, Suzie and I lounge on the balcony of the Simon Center where she shares her intimate views and experiences dealing with the human condition as an Emergency 8

Oct. 23 2013

Medical Technician, the pursuit of passion and happiness, a philosophy on what’s considered “atypical,” coping methods to deal with crippling competition within an institution that is now ranked within US News and World Report’s Top 50 Public Universities, and how, exactly, one maintenances a car that’s nearly two decades old.

“There’s this very, very calm guy going, ‘Ya know, we took him in like an hour or two ago, he was just smoking pot, but we think he has more on him.’ Turns out he was on PCP, and he had drugs shoved up his ass,” says Suzie about one of her first experiences as an EMT. Indeed, not only is twenty-one year old Suzie a certified EMT, she’s also currently the vice president of the student lead organization Global Medical Brigades, where she travels to places such as Ghana, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Panama to set up medical clinics and teach the seemingly basic knowledge of hygiene.

“We have to teach them washing their hands after using the bathroom and before eating meals,” she says. In addition, Suzie speaks fluent Italian, has been abroad to Italy, is an avid skier and sailor, dabbles in surfing, has decided to pursue medical school post graduation. Her “ultimate goal is to do Doctor’s Without Borders” which, according to their website, is an “international medical humanitarian organization” that “provides independent, impartial assistance in more than 60 countries to people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe.”

Or as Suzie says, “reach out to the people who don’t have access to the things that we take for granted.” Did I mention she’s only 21?

Suzie’s age-defying sense of civic duty does seem to parallel the message behind the famous Ghandi quote “be the change you want to see in the world” painted with

keen accuracy on the Shaggin’ Wagon.

It’s the type of quote that resonates with many and is especially applicable to students—those in avid pursuit of their future, taking the necessary steps toward change both within themselves and the world around them.

When asked how she plans to be the change she wants to see, and what she believes students should do to be the change they want to see Suzie responds with her typical wisdom.

“I don’t care what it is in life that you care about, just have ambition and passion about something and chase that, because it’s great to exist, it’s great to enjoy life, but to pass it on and to maintain the world that we have is so important to me,” she says.

Suzie briefly shared a story about her voice teacher who was in the midst of a shift in her career during her twenties. She had overheard a conversation regarding a person who had received a 4.0 from Harvard. “That’s so exciting, that’s great, but what else did you do in your life?” She says. “I know it’s easier said than done but, who cares about the people around you?

They’re all lying too.”

Perhaps this mindset is what propels her through the demands that accompany a bio-chemistry major, but it also proves to be a mindset for other student’s to reflect.

“Do it for you. Whatever your doing, do it for you,” Suzie says. “If you want it, work for it, everything else is just noise.

Why are you here? For the education.”

Even for a woman who has seen firsthand the consequences of struggling countries and their people, she still appreciates simple conversation.

Especially about her prized Shaggin’ Wagon. A tattoo artist even once inquired about the wagon’s art for his shop.

“It’s really exciting when people do come up to me, because I feel like it’s an important part of the human experience.

Just for people to actually communicate with one another...It promotes conversation.”

Suzie recently decided to pick up student hitchhikers off Circle Road on campus. She believes that the idea behind the Shaggin‘ Wagon resonates with people because it appeals to a desire “to do what everyone wants to do. To go against the grain, and do something that’s so not

acceptable or so not normal” Although she clarifies she’s not sure normal can be so easily defined. “There’s not such a thing as normal. It’s such a relative term,” she says. “What’s normal here is so abnormal elsewhere.”

And of course, the question still remains: how does one properly maintenance a car that‘s been around longer than a large amount of Stony Brook

FEATURES undergrads? Suzie fills me in giggling, “It fucking sucks. It really sucks,” Suzie says giggling. “Luckily they changed inspection standards in New York state, and they no longer have to do certain tests which is beautiful because it used to fail every single year,” but ultimately, drive slow, and show it a little L.O.V.E. At least it’s still fun to look at.

TOP TEN “SCARIEST” PLACES ON CAMPUS 10. Administration 09. Any Dining Hall at 1 p.m.

08. Roosevelt Quad After Dark 07. The Financial Aid Office 06. Javits on an Exam Night 05. Child Care Center 04. The Dentistry School 03. The Wendy’s Line at Roth 02. Staller Center Lobby Bathroom 01. Mario Ferone’s Office (Especially if Dressed as a Panda)

GRAPHIC BY KENNETH MYERS

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CULTURE

PUMPKIN BEER-A-POOLOOZA KENTUCKY PUMPKIN BARREL ALE Press Rating

“Smooth going down followed by the taste of Goldfish”

WEYERBACHER PUMPKIN

BLUE POINT PUMPKIN ALE

Press Rating

Press Rating

“This tastes like actual pumpkin.”

“Can’t go wrong with Blue Point.“

SHOCK TOP PUMPKIN WHEAT Press Rating

SMUTTYNOSE PUMPKIN ALE

“Classic Shock Top tang is even better with pumpkin.”

“Good but not especially memorable.”

LONG IRELAND PUMPKIN ALE

10 Oct. 23 2013

We at The Press know how good pumpkin beer can be. To save you the trouble of buyers remorse we’ve taste tested some of the brands available nearby.

Press Rating

KBC PUMPKIN ALE

Press Rating

Press Rating

“A little too metallic tasting.”

“It tastes like licking a dirty pumpkin.”

CULTURE

Contributors: Taylor Knoedl

As a youth I would hit start through the title menu in panicked precision just to avoid the loathsome whoosh of Majora’s mask followed by the Happy Mask Salesman’s iconic giggle.

Majora’s Mask unfortunately was an elusive title for it was the last release for the N64 console before the GameCube came around.

Unlike most Zelda games, this one is actually a sequel; to Ocarina of Time—which occurs in an alternate universe. It counts

by Zelda standards.

The most general plotline to the game is this: the moon is going to crash into Clock Town and destroy all of Termia. Skull Kid is doing this and you have to stop him. And maybe it’s just young ambition, but you but you feel connected to this doomed world where its people you not only save—but become wholly involved with.

I recall a young inn-keeper who receives a letter which turns out to be from her fiancé, who was turned into a child by Skull Kid, and you ultimately reunite them so they can embrace each other while the moon crashes into Clock Town and kills them.

Which brings me to my next point. Majora’s Mask taught a very valuable lesson in life—an irksome one, but important noless; you can’t save everyone, and sacrifice must sometimes be made for a greater good.

Majora’s Mask actually wasn’t received too well with its initial release. Folks disliked it due to the time-limit, plus the GameCube they probably had just bought.

It did make a comeback during the end of the world last year due to its apocalyptic theme. I like to imagine that in some basement somewhere, a bunch of fan-fucks in army helmets pouring Dr. Pepper all over eachother, had an end of world

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CULTURE

8 BEST MOVIE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

by Rachael Ellenbogen

Girls:

Cher from Clueless With plaid skirts and knee-high socks, you can’t go wrong! As Cher would say, “Classic!”

Cady Heron from Mean Girls dressed as an “ex-wife” It was Cady that said “in girl world, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” While this is true, Cady’s costume is one option that girls can go with that is just plain horrifying.

Sandy Olsen from Grease This look can go one of two ways. Choose either Sandy’s look from the beginning of the movie – long sundress, innocentlyprimped hair and Sunday school sandals – or her look at the end of the movie – all-black ensemble of leather pants, tight top, red heels and curled hair. Either way, it’ll be a Pink Lady-worthy outfit.

Vivian Ward from Pretty Woman Boots that go up to your knees, a curve-hugging blue miniskirt, a white cut-out tank and a short blonde wig are all you need to look like a hooker, AKA Vivian Ward. Don’t worry, by the end of the night you will have found your Edward Lewis, or at least will have made out with some hot guy. Either way, boys better be on the look out for the pretty woman walkin’ down the street!

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Guys:

Danny Zuko from Grease Girls aren’t the only ones who can take inspiration from one of the best movie musicals of all time. One of the original “bad boys” of movie high schools, Danny Zuko has the greased-back hair to prove it. Grab your leather jacket, get some white tape and you’ve got yourself a T-Bird costume. Welcome to the greasers group.

Indiana Jones from, well, Indiana Jones Be the ultimate adventurer this Halloween with your very own fedora and whip. Note: this can only double as an S&M costume if Rihanna is singing in the background.

Austin Powers from Austin Powers Excuse me, Austin DANGER Powers. Want to be a 60s swinger this October 31? Yeah, baby, yeah! That’s what we thought. Grab your blue-velvet suit, your ruffled shirt and male symbol medallion and you’re good to go. With this costume, the women will surely be asking “shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?” Oh, behave!

Jay from Men In Black This is pretty much just an excuse to look damn sharp in a suit. Don’t let this opportunity to be the best-dressed guy in the room go to waste. No need to bring the neuralyzer with you, as it’s going to be a night you’ll never want to forget.

CULTURE

TOP TEN SCARIEST VIDEO GAMES I WAS TOO AFRAID TO PLAY BY

BEATRICE VANTAPOOL

1. Amnesia: The Dark Descent 2. Slender: The Arrival 3. Alone in the Dark 4. The Suffering 5. Doom 3 6. Condemned 7. Silent Hill 8. Resident Evil 9. F.E.A.R. 10.

Outlast

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CULTURE

THE NUTSHELL

CONTRIBUTORS: NICK BATSON RACHAEL ELLENBOGEN

Make a Move, Gavin DeGraw Gavin DeGraw’s second studio album under RCA Records, Make A Move, and fifth studio album as a recording artist is everything we’ve come to expect from this soulful singer-songwriter. Whoever said playing it safe was a bad thing has clearly never listened to any of DeGraw’s songs.

The album is 11 tracks, or 40 minutes, of raw, classic pop-rock music. Each song is a bit different from the one before it, but all of them come together into a perfect album to listen on any day of the week.

Simple and beautiful, DeGraw starts out the album with his latest single, “Best I Ever Had,” and just one-ups himself on every track from there on out. He doesn’t try to be someone he’s not and has stuck to his roots since his first single, “I Don’t Want To Be,” which became a hit when it was chosen as the theme song for The WB’s One Tree Hill in 2003. DeGraw puts his emotions into everything he sings and it is easy to tell on any one of his new tracks, especially his song “I’m Gonna Try,” a mid-

Common Courtesy, A Day to Remember A Day to Remember has come a long way since the release of their first album And Their Name was Treason back in 2005.

The band has undergone a few lineup changes, most notably the loss of former lead guitarist Tom Denney in 2009 right after the release of Homesick.

Common Courtsey, the band’s fifth studio album was released exclusively on their website on Oct. 8 is a departure from past releases. Over the years it’s easy to note that the sound of the band has transformed from melodic-hardcore filled with heavy breakdowns and screams to almost a pop-punk sound following the mainstream success of the band.

Their latest release further solidifies

the changes in sound, and lyrical content as well. One of their earliest hits, “You Should’ve Killed Me When You Had the Chance” off of And Their Name Was Treason was one of the angriest songs I had ever heard. As Jeremy screamed “ I walked into your house this morning/I brought the gun from our end table/Your blood was strewn across the walls/They’ll find you on your bathroom floor when I’m done,” one actually got the impression the band’s frontman had committed a murder. And who could forget the lines from “Speak of the Devil”: Such a pretty picture/Your chalk line on the ground/I hope you die.

CC lacks the anger, it’s almost as if

tempo record about giving it your all and “celebrating who you’re with.”

Simply put, Gavin DeGraw’s new album is perfect for any John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Train or Jack Johnson fans.

Or any fans of music in general. Check out Make A Move and proceed to hit “replay” to prolong the happiness the album gives you.

Songs You Must Check Out: “Finest Hour,” “I’m Gonna Try,” “Who’s Gonna Save Us,” “Heartbreak,” “Every Little Bit” Jeremy McKinnon has screamed all his hatred out. The album also isn’t subtle about taking a shot at their former label Victory Records, especially on the track “The Document Speaks for Itself.” The band has been litigating a lawsuit between the label, claiming their contractual obligations had been fulfilled, which is why as of now CC is only a digital release through their website. As of last week a physical release was announced for Nov. 25, 2013.

To be honest, the new record is a little too whiney, and not as intense as past releases. I find it hard to believe any diehard ADTR fans will really appreciate this new album. But listen for yourself.

Acceptance Speech, Dance Gavin Dance Dance Gavin Dance has had an interesting evolution since their debut release Whatever I Say is Royal Ocean back in 2005. Due largely in part to lead singer Jonny Craig continuously leaving and rejoining the band. Seriously, this has happened several times since their formation and has caused an interesting change in sound.

After Downtown Battle Mountain II was released back in 2011, Craig left the 14 Oct. 23 2013

band again. The latest release since Craig’s last departure Acceptance Speech, released Oct. 8, is definitely a change. New vocalist Tillian Pearson makes his debut on this record. His vocals are much more notably higher pitched than Craig, making the clean vocal track sounding similar to a release from A Skylit Drive or possibly even Pierce the Veil.

Overall, the album is a great listen. For any DGD fans that remember Happiness

and their self-titled record Dance Gavin Dance, Acceptance Speech is almost like a mash-up between the two.

As Pearson sings in “The Robot with Human Hair Pt 4,” “Don’t be fucking cynical,” I think that’s good advice for listening to this record. Forget what you know about DGD, but not what you love.

Because everything you’ve ever loved about DGD still remains on Acceptance Speech in abundance.

CULTURE

ELIE WIESEL AND EROTIC-CON FICTION: BOB’S BURGERS PANEL by Sean Fischer

Near the end of the second day of New York Comic Con, the creator and cast of the hit animated series Bob’s Burgers held a panel to discuss the recent success of the show. They previewed upcoming episodes and took some questions from the fans in the room. Series creator Loren Bouchard described how thankful he is to the fans and his cast, who made the recent greenlighting of seasons four and five possible. By far the highlight of the panel were the cast members, including H. Jon Benjamin, voice the eponymous Bob Belcher who entertained the audience with his passive-aggressive persona.

This was a farcry from the other panels I’ve attended this year featuring comic creators who were less capable of being entertaining in front of the large Comic Con crowds. The cast spent a good amount of time discussing who influenced each of their respective characters. John Roberts, who voices Linda described how most of his influence came from his own mother, who was in fact in the audience that evening. Larry Murphy, who plays the offbeat and doughy longshoreman Teddy was attributed as having an innate ability to know what his character was thinking which characterizes his offbeat remarks and personality. It was obvious that most of their backgrounds in comedy collectives contributed to their ability to play off each other on stage and in the show.

The best moment, however, happened when Dan Mintz spoke at the panel for first time, and the tone and inflections of his voice was nearly identical to that of his character, Tina, which

elicited uproarious laughter upon the entire audience’s collective realization of how close his own personality was to the awkward teenaged girl, perhaps sans the erotic friend fiction and fixation on boy’s butts.

Nevertheless, butts and fan fiction came into the spotlight during the Q&A section of the panel. Several fans asked pointed questions regarding the show’s production, an example being about how much of the show was based on improvised dialogue, which was a staple of Bouchard’s series Home Movies, which Jon Benjamin did voice work for as well. Bouchard described how the series writers have an entire script for each episode and that it would be unfair to his actors to rely on them to inject humor into the show, but there’s always room for when the actors want to riff.

It seemed almost inevitable when the kid with thick black rimmed classes and a thick mane of dark hair approached the stage and stumbled through his explanation of how the character of Tina was an inspiration to awkward teens like him everywhere and his subsequent request that the cast and creator of the show read his “Erotic-Con Fiction” and act it out. The cast complied in the most glorious fashion where they awkwardly read the lines of this masterwork of prose, and acted out grabbing their own behinds in front of the entire Comic Con audience. The display would have been enough to make passive viewers of the series as diehard as the rest of us, and it was a reminder to the fans of what makes the show so special, namely its amazing cast.

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CULTURE

COMIC CON IS CROWDED

by Jessica Beebe

PHOTO BY TOM JOHNSON/THE PRESS

Walking out of Comic Con back to the too-expensive parking garage, I felt sorer than I’d ever felt after a punk show. I went on Saturday, Oct. 12 with my little brother, who is a huge comic book reader and doubled as Captain America that day.

The crowd waiting for the doors to open at 10 am was huge, but it wasn’t a normal crowd. It was full of Thor and Lokis and Ash and Mistys and Batman and Robins. I saw hairy-chested men dressed as Wonder Womans and a suprising amount of people dressed as Heath Ledger’s Joker dressing as a nurse.

Once inside the huge, long lobby, I grabbed a strap of my brother’s backpack (later to be filled to the brim with comics) and he led the way to the escalators, which were definitely exceeding their maximum capacities. Zooming through the central room with different themed booths and walls of t-shirts and tables and tables of comic books, I stood on what was the first line of many.

I waited on lines for raffle tickets, for signings, for panels, for hotdogs. And for soft pretzels.

Zombie-painted faces smirked at me as we later passed by the Walking Dead area, and I must have seen ten girls carrying giant hammers dressed as Harley Quinn.

I didn’t realize that NYCC was a convention for not only comic book characters, but for literally every single character.

16 Oct. 23 2013

I saw Harry Potters, Gandalfs, Flinstones, Peter Griffins, Jack Sparrows, Power Rangers, Katnisses, Peetas, Doctor Whos and so many more.

Soon I was waiting on a line (standing right behind a Juggernaut) for a DC panel where one of my brother’s favorite comic book artists David Finch would be answering questions along with some other artists. As soon as I felt the glory of sitting in a chair and the lights in the auditorium dimmed, my eyes closed, opening again when the lights were back on and it was time to go buy comics.

My brother had a messy list of all the comics he had to find and I had to learn how to quickly flick through boxes and scan comics for titles and issue numbers. Soon his pockets were empty of cash and his backpack was heavy with comic books and graphic novels, rolled-up posters sticking out this way and that.

I learned lots of things from NYCC 2013. I learned that a hotdog can be a great help in the midst of a day where sitting down and taking time to eat is not allowed, I became a professional at weaving through huge masses of people, and I learned that Wolverine and Storm eventually get together in the X-Men comic series.

CULTURE

THE COSPLAY PHENOMENON PHOTOS BY TOM JOHNSON/THE PRESS

by Anne Marie Greco

Cosplay, or “costume play,” is an odd concept to many people. Thousands of people, walking around in costume, possibly even acting as a particular character on a day that isn’t Halloween just seems strange to many. So why do people dress up and take on the persona of a character and go to conventions?

“It’s fun,” was the resounding response when this question was posed to cosplayers at Comic Con, which took place Oct. 10-13.

That weekend, Comic Con attendees flooded the streets of midtown Manhattan, the costumed people confusing many unaware of the event.

“What is going on today,” is the question many cosplayers are asked in their travels to and from the Javits Center, where the convention took place. The simple answer is to explain Comic Con, and that people often wear costumes while attending the convention, but what really is going on with the people who dress up as various characters? Why do they put on costumes to go to a comic book convention?

The answer is not particularly simple and would be difficult to describe to a passerby. I too am a cosplayer, and honestly, at first I did not know why. I know I love Halloween and dressing up for Halloween, but what drives someone to go a step further and create intricate costumes that take weeks to months to complete? Is “it’s fun” reason enough? For those who only have that reason, it can be enough, but it is also a chance to step out of your own skin for a time, similar to reading a book or comic, watching a movie, or playing a video game. Adorning the costume and demeanor of the character

allows the cosplayer to step into that world in a sense, creating an extension of the fictional worlds that the cosplayer loves.

At the root of the act, stepping into a costume is not much different than adorning formal wear to go to a party and assuming the related cultural customs and manners related to that setting. In the world of fashion, costume is integrally related to clothes, especially formal wear.

These costumes are meant to allow a person to assume a role among society on the social hierarchy. Cosplayers do the same, wearing their costume not just to occasionally act as their character for amusement of themselves and others, but as a badge showing their passion for a particular character and work. They maintain their own place within the social group that attends conventions like Comic Con. The cosplay phenomenon is rich with creativity. Many cosplayers make their costumes themselves, and this earns them a certain amount of respect in the community. Recently, a show on the SyFy channel created a show, Celebrity Cosplay, which documented some of these cosplayers that have risen to a kind of fame within the cosplay culture.

It should be noted that cosplay culture is separate though related to geek culture.

The lines are blurred, but cosplay culture focuses more on the costuming and the ability to create costumes, and the stars of Celebrity Cosplay are considered to be a kind of upper class among the culture.

There are many issues with the show raised by cosplayers, but those issues aside, it does provide a powerful example of how quality costuming is as valued within this society as the fashions and designers in

vouge are valued.

It can easily be forgotten by the competitive that these costumes are just play, but at the end of the convention, the true fun of cosplaying is spending time with friends, both old and new, and having fun in your costumes. Aside from all the competitions, it isn’t uncommon to see groups of cosplayers traveling together en route to karaoke or after-con bar crawls. Random spurts of acting as these characters spice up the experience as Inuyasha and Kagome sing a love song in front of a room full of people, with other cosplayers and con-goers cheering them on and waiting for their songs to start playing.

I was able to, in addition to my yearly tradition of after-con Karaoke, also attend a Super Smash Bros. themed rave that Friday at a venue temporarily dubbed “Bowser’s Keep”. The rave was filled with the typical rave fare--flashing lights, loud electronic music, laser lights, glow sticks, and LED tipped gloves, but this time many of the ravers were dressed in costume.

Deadpool, Link, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn were popular costumes. Keeping with the spirit of raves there was even a man dressed as Dante from the video game Devil May Cry with “free hugs and kisses” written on his chest. Not all of these people were attending Comic Con, but were ravers taking the opportunity to cosplay. Costumes created another platform to draw and approach other people to make new friends.

This is the core of cosplay. Having fun, making friends, and sharing a passion for similar interests among people who might never otherwise meet.

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CULTURE

HORROR MOVIES: ORIGINAL OR REMAKE THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

by Charles Spitzner

I’m convinced that The Amityville Horror franchise has only endured these past 30 plus years because of the eponymous legend it’s based on. That namesake is up there in the higher echelons of horror, maybe not next to icons like Jason or Leatherface, but standing alongside or above (sort of) reputable namesakes like Pinhead and Chucky. Simply put: EVERYONE knows about the legend of the Amityville horror. Even if they don’t know any details of the legend, they most certainly know the name.

However, unlike the aforementioned figures lining the Horror Hall of Fame, I can’t see why the Amityville Horror deserves to be in there with them. The original is just a haunted house movie; a good haunted house movie mind you, but nothing that deserves to be mentioned or resurrected today.

It’s a decent enough film, nothing too special- but then why has the concept been revisited and revived 10 TIMES. Yes, 10!

That’s more movies than the Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise, more than the Halloween franchise (if you discount Halloween 3, like so many people do), more than Hellraiser franchise, more than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise--all series that have been thoroughly beaten into the ground. Sure, all of those movies had ridiculous moments in them, but The Amityville Horror had

an entire movie based on the concept of an evil lamp. Do you think I’m making that up? Do you think a human being could even possess the mental capacity required to come up with such an idea?

Unfortunately, the fact that The Amityville Horror is just a famous haunted house is the exact reason why it’s so open to reinterpretation. Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger are all big names and that’s why they sell so well, but they are all locked in their gimmicks: Myers stabs, Voorhees slaughters, and Krueger… more creatively slaughters. A haunted house with a big name can be interpreted in whatever way the creators feel it should. Evil spirits? Sure. Evil lamp? You got it. Ryan Reynolds and jump scares? You’re damn right. Feature film made by the schlock-masters at The Asylum? Just try and stop them. The Amityville Horror can be remade a hundred times, redone and outfitted with whatever modern horror tropes happen to be at the moment, and there’s not a damn thing we can do to stop it.

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CULTURE

THE EVIL DEAD

by Nick Batson I was never one for cult films until I saw The Evil Dead my freshman year of college. It was my first love, the first film I truly felt that I could call my own.

Last year when I heard a remake was in production, I was quite distraught.

Despite my peers raving about the film, I never saw it in theatres.

But then one lazy summer afternoon I reluctantly decided to watch the remake.

I was instantly surprised at how well Fede Alvarez was able to keep the same cinematic themes from the original intact.

I’m sure having the film’s original creator, Sam Raimi, and star Bruce Campbell as executive producers played a lot into this.

I was expecting a lowbrow teen-scream movie, and what I saw was anything but.

In the original film, Raimi ensures that viewers stay on the edge of their seats for the entire duration of the film, and this was preserved in the remake.

The remake also begins with a prequel, shedding some light on how the evil book which caused so many problems in the original came to be.

The remake pays several homages to the original, for example in one of the opening scenes, Mia (Jane Levy) can be seen sitting on the 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 from the original film, left covered in vegetation from what one can

assume is years sitting in the wilderness.

In a connection to the Evil Dead II, David (Shiloh Fernandez) is seen assembling a defibrillator in the same quick shot montage Ash (Bruce Campbell) used to assemble the iconic chain saw.

The remake used 70,000 gallons of fake blood, showing that Alvarez wasn’t afraid to make his vision as gory as the original.

As great as the remake was, nothing can beat the original. But for any hardcore Evil Dead fans out there, be sure to watch all of the credits, because after them Bruce Campbell makes a short appearance to end the film.

watches as Carrie takes steps to control them, only for this to be cut short at prom when a prank involving a bucket of pig’s blood sends her on a path of destruction that costs her classmates their lives.

The remake differs from the original in that it falls more in line with the plot of the novel, including scenarios such as Carrie’s birth and Sue Snell’s pregnancy, which were cut from Brian De Palme’s 1976 version. Director Kimberly Peirce presents the film in the form of a narrative while the 1976 flick depicted the story on an event-by-event basis.

Peirce also provides a more modern

day setting, which indirectly increases Carrie’s humiliation through the use of phone cameras and social networking.

All in all, the film is mind-blowing and disturbing thriller, providing a deeper sense and understanding of the fragile teenage psyche, and how pushing someone to the edge comes with unforeseen, and in this case, sometime deadly consequences. Carrie also does not fall into the trap of outshining the original, a feat which many horror remakes try and fail miserably to do.

CARRIE

by John Fischer Hollywood has finally figured it out. In the last few years, horror movie remakes (Halloween and Friday the 13th to name a few) have been, shall we say, flawed. Yeah, that’s a nice way of putting it. But Carrie might just be the end to that unfortunate tradition.

For those of you who have never read the book or seen the movie, Carrie White (played by Chloe Moretz in this film and Sissy Spacek in 1976) is a socially awkward teen who is ridiculed by her peers and abused at home by her deranged mother, a religious fanatic. Realizing she possesses telekinetic abilities, the film

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CULTURE

JESSICA ADAMOWICZ THOMAS JOHNSON BUSHRA MOLLICK

GRAPHIC BY KENNETH MYERS

STADIUMS OF SHIT

CONTRIBUTORS:

Hello Ladies, gentlemen and genderfluid peoples of Stony Brook. What’s up?

Let’s talk about some shit.

No, seriously. I’ve submitted this article to speak to you beautiful, intelligent humans specifically about my experience as an on-campus pooper. I want to connect with all of you that are uncertain, ashamed, or afraid of pooping on campus.

It’s okay. We all poop. Even the women.

Yes, yes, I said it. Women poop too. All the damn time. As a matter of fact, I am a woman that poops all the damn time.

I commute an hour to get to campus, and spend at least seven hours sitting in lectures, walking the academic mall, looking for seats in the library SINC site, and stuffing my face. So let’s be real.

Eventually, a girl’s gotta poop.

To all of the stunned folk out there that have yet to comprehend (I can already 20 Oct. 23 2013

hear your voices, quivering with discourse: “BUT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”), fear not. I cannot put enough emphasis on the fact that everyone in the entire world poops. Take some advice from Frank McCourt’s uncle Pa Keating: If you’re ever intimidated by someone, just imagine them wiping their arse. The Pope himself has to wipe his own arse. My paraphrasing isn’t great, but I hope you get the picture.

And with that, I have some recommendations for the less-experienced on-campus pooper. First and foremost, always carry a copy of the Stony Brook Press. It makes good bathroom material, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s a guide to preferable porcelain thrones included in every issue! Campus is a wild and dangerous place when you need to do the number two. The Press is your map to safety.

Second, if you get stage fright with others around, heed regular columnists advice: stay out of lobby bathrooms.

Ladies, You think Psych A is a good place to drop your deuce between class? Think again. That lady’s room door is always open to a luxurious couched area, complete with potted plant and wall-length mirror for all of your outfit-checking needs. There are only three stalls in that bathroom.

Everyone will know that the rose scents are compliment of you. Bravo, darling.

Third, get creative. Explore and take risks as often as you can. Commuters, I feel your pain. I’ve been there--that coffee you drank on the ride over probably would have been better in a smaller cup. Don’t find yourself panicking (or pooting) in class because you don’t know where the nearest bathroom is. Take some of the downtime you wish you could spend at

CULTURE home to make a mental note of reliable bathroom locations near you. My secret rule is to go to the third floor or the basement, whichever is closer.

I’ve been more lucky than not with that, even in off-campus buildings.

My time here has come to an end. Go forth.

Be free. May your bowels lead you to wondrous and inspiring campus locations. Happy flushing.

-Jessica Adamowicz is a super-senior and, consequently, a super-pooper. She enjoys struggling through Physics, sitting in the psych garden, and reading The Stony Brook Press.

Girls don’t poop, right? Nah, that’s a lie for real, And so here’s a little poem so y’all know the deal, You know ladies, we be actin like we don’t poop But our shits are worse than dudes’ so here’s the scoop Once upon a time, I was chillin with my boo, Cuddlin and kissing, chilling with my baby pookie But mid our cuddle session, my tummy was acting up And before I knew it, I squeezed my cheeks to stop my dookie I walked into my bathroom, like, “baby, I’m gonna pee” But really what had happened was a shit, quite dirt nasty I tried to keep it silent, left both my faucets on I was just surprised to see no poop stains on my thong I tried to keep it quiet, squeezed my cheeks to hush the flow But that shit just kept a’coming, like White Chicks, the Wayans bros It was louder then sledge hammer, louder than a beast Louder than those ugly fat ass stupid geese Roth Pond.

Well folks, it’s that time of year again. Leaves are changing color, people are singing the praises of pumpkin-flavored everything and cable networks are branding everything as being “shocking,” “spooky” or some variation thereof. So, in the spirit of the season I decided to revisit the scariest bathroom I have ever encountered here at the Brook: the men’s room in library commuter lounge.

Since my last visit, they have fixed the lock on the only stall door it seems. However, when I walked in, it appeared that the person that had last utilized this particular latrine had given birth to some sort of monster, leaving behind a level of destruction the likes of which I have never seen before. What appeared to be a fit of explosive diarrhea coated the entire bowl, inside and out, as well as the floor in the immediate vicinity. Some debris also managed to find its way to the wall. This made the smell of this bathroom go from the usual scent similar to that of riding the 7 train on a Saturday afternoon to something completely unearthly and terrible. I also may have seen a ghost, I’m not sure, it was all terribly confusing.

The only urinal is still kind of busted and has everyone’s business just sort of pool at the bottom, with flushing doing nothing to alleviate the problem.

Oh yeah, and everything was fucking damp. You can see moisture on the walls, the floor, and all fixtures. I have no idea how or why this happens, but it’s awful.

I stand by my previous assessment of this bathroom being the worst I’ve experienced. There are so many other bathrooms in the library, just go use one of those.

But I finished like a lady and wiped myself real clean This poopy side of girls should never, ever, be seen I stank up the bathroom, nah I stank up the whole suite, I told my baby that we should go someother place to eat I walked into my bedroom, said, “hey, baby, hey, leggo.”

He said “ you took a shit, didn’t you, “ “Why?” “Cause girl, your bathroom really echoes.”

BY BMONEYZ WHERE YOU AT?

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CULTURE

STADIUMS OF SPOOKY SHIT

by Daniel SlashScar When I was very young, I went to my Grandpa and Nanny’s house in St. James near the giant witch in the field. Some time of merriment passed and lil’ ol’ me had to use the bathroom. I went in the nearest one, closed the door and did my business like a natural. I finished up and washed my hands, like one does. But then, as I tried to leave, I couldn’t open the door! I tried and tried and called out to my Nanny with great fear in my heart. I couldn’t die in a bathroom – I was too young and not Elvis! I heard her voice from the other side asking what the problem was and I explained my dire situation to her. “I’m locked in the bathroom,” I probably said. “Did you try unlocking the door,” she asked me.

What a silly question, Nanny, of course I-... I then unlocked the door and left the bathroom, ashamed.

Another spooky tale I have for all of you is when I went to NYC a few years ago. I went into the bathroom by the waiting room in Penn Station, like any person might do. I didn’t look at the sinks when I first went in, which proved to be my downfall. I did my business, quite similarly to my first story, and then went to wash my hands. However, I was met by a man washing his genitals in the sink and mumbling quite a lot. “Oh God, what do I do? Should I reach around?” Horrible images flashed through my head --worse than I’ve ever thought of up to that point in my life. “What if I touch his junk? Will we both have to wash a second time?” But then, as if a miracle had occurred, I saw other sinks. I promptly used a different sink and never told anyone about what I saw until right now.

My sister and I were driving home from Virginia and we stopped in Maryland at a bathroom area to do as humans do once they’ve properly digested their food. I saw an empty stall and

walked over. Immediately I noticed the door went up to my chest and down to the standard height. I popped a squat, as my Dad’s generation would say, and proceeded to let nature do its work.

However, out of nowhere, a man’s head appeared over the door.

My heart jumped and I nearly shat myself (which would have been productive, actually). We locked eyes and I thought, “Oh, what if we watches me!? This is so awkward! Is he going to skin me alive and wear my flesh?!” He then said, “Oh , sorry man.” And he left. I also left and swore to never use a bathroom in Maryland ever again.

In 2010, I went down with my sister and her friend to the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, Tennessee. We showed up hours early, which actually turned out to be a horrible error on our part because they sent us all to the furthest area from the festival where mud was the main source of ground. The mud was so prevalent that it stained my sandals a light brown color and they’ve never been black since. On Thursday, I walked up the porta potty (Which actually sounds like a very childish way to say toilet. Who says potty in their adult life?) and saw the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There was brown everywhere, like when my sister as a baby decided to paint the walls of our bedroom with her feces. I couldn’t tell what was mud and what was feces because some was on the seat itself, some on the floor and some where it clearly had no business being – the ceiling.

I fortunately only had to urinate so I was able to manuever in such a way where I didn’t get the... stuff on me. But for the rest of Bonnaroo, I did not eat any food because I refused to have a bowel movement in any of their porta potties. And that, dear readers, is my spookiest bathroom experience.

STATISTICS THAT I DEFINITELY DID NOT MAKE UP by Kenneth Myers

22 Oct. 23 2013

OPINION

UNPLUGGED

by Jessica Beebe

Unless I’m in class, I am rarely without my headphones. My iPod is in my pocket at all times playing music into my ears and shutting out everything around me. I love listening to my music and get withdrawal if I don’t listen to enough Bayside or Saves the Day. I’ve recently been noticing how isolated people make themselves when they put in their earbuds and press play.

The other day I was out shooting for a journalism class; My group and I had to interview random passersby about campus safety. But those random passersby were completely unapproachable. Every one was wearing headphones or staring down at their phone screens and I couldn’t get their attention unless I waved them down

and they hurriedly told me they were late for something.

Even approaching someone you know can be uncomfortable if they’re looking at their phones or wearing headphones. You don’t want to feel like you’ve interrupted something by tapping their shoulder and saying “hey.” And having a conversation with someone who is texting can feel onesided and pointless.

There should be a rule against perpetually walking and texting. The other day a longboarder almost ran me down because they were texting and longboarding. Is it really necessary to take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, look at your apps, lock it, and put it back in your pocket every few minutes? To add

to that, people are on their smartphones when they’re out to eat. Even if they’re sitting and talking with friends, they’re simultaneously refreshing their Twitter feeds.

It’s a shame that our generation is so focused on capturing moments rather than feeling them. Yeah, it’s cool to film a couple of minutes of a concert or snap some pictures of your favorite singer. But determinedly filming a whole set or trying to get the perfect photo can make you miss out on what is actually happening.

Dance and sing when the band plays your favorite song. And listen and react, phone in pocket, when someone is trying to talk to you. To finish this up: don’t text and walk down steps, I’ve seen too many

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OPINION

EVEN THOUGH IT’S HALLOWEEN, DON’T BE CREEPY WHILE PICKING UP CHICKS

By Julianne Mosher

They say the creeps come out on Halloween night but it’s a lot more consistent at Stony Brook University.

Recently a young female student (me) walked through campus with her camera taking pictures for a class.

Minding her own business, the 5’2” blonde took pictures inside Starbucks when a gentleman approached her.

“I see you have a camera… would you like to see my stanced and decked out car?” Confused, she followed him

24 Oct. 23 2013

to his low-to-the-ground Volkswagen that was detailed with foreign leather seats from Germany. She followed him cautiously to the parking lot and figured she could use the car as a model for her photography project.

After politely declining his offer to see more of the car and spreading word that she was unavailable as a potential mate, she left him alone in the parking lot. One week later, her classmate with a camera was approached inside the SAC. The same lines from the same guy in the same exact way.

The accused culprit told the young women that it was very hard to find someone at SBU to “settle down with.”

Keep in mind the one victim was 19 and the other 21, with boyfriends. Proposing at first sight is not the best pickup line when you lay eyes on a girl. Unless you find the lucky .5 percent, the other 99.5 percent of women are going to deny your offer to tie the knot.

But don’t look so sad because thankfully here I am to help. In my 21 years on this earth I have been the victim of “creeps” asking me out and I have seen more than a lot. As a treat for all you creepy tricksters, here is a small list on

things NOT to do when finding a little lady to take out on a date. If you follow these rules, maybe you won’t end up being that creepy guy: Don’t have a script: Like I told you before, that poor young man said the same things to those two girls. If he switched it up, maybe he would have lucked out.

Instead, he said to photography students one and two, “Hey I noticed you have a camera. Come see my car.”

Give the girl some room to breathe: Don’t be down her throat. She’s not going to date you if you’re suffocating her.

Don’t unplug her earphones while she’s listening to her iPod in Starbucks to get her attention: Self-explanatory and a pet peeve of mine. If a girl is listening to her music and on her laptop, don’t bother her. She doesn’t want to talk to you. She may actually freak out on you instead.

Not a very good impression.

If you want to grab a girl’s attention DO NOT hit her or tap her hard. What is wrong with you? Keep your hands to yourself. If you accidently left a bruise on her shoulder, you have problems.

If you’re looking for a girl with a camera, just don’t. They don’t want to be bothered by you and the third time will not be a charm on this one.

SPORTS

SEAWOLVES AND BINGHAMTON PLAY TO A DRAW IN DOUBLE OVERTIME

by Jael Henry

The Stony Brook men’s soccer team played Binghamton to a 2-2 draw under the lights on Wednesday, Oct. 16 at LaValle Stadium in a rematch of last season’s America East quarterfinal.

The Seawolves played aggressively from the blow of the first whistle, which would pay off 19 minutes into the game.

The Binghamton goalkeeper came off his line to break up a pass from a Stony Brook through ball, but the Binghamton defense failed in clearing the ball. After some sloppy defending the ball found its way to the boot of freshman midfielder Jorge Torres. Torres placed the ball beautifully to the left side netting of the goal from 35 yards away as the goalkeeper struggled to get back to his line. Giving the Seawolves a 1-0 lead.

Binghamton would equalize in minute 38. The ball was played over the top from midfield into the Stony Brook 18 yard box, which put Binghamton forward Steven Celeste one on one with Stony Brook senior goalkeeper Carlos Villa. Celeste drilled a low strike left of Villa into the back of the net.

With 15 seconds left in the first half,

Villa made a spectacular diving save to keep the game level, his fifth save of the first half.

Stony Brook was put on the back foot in the second half, after the Bearcats took the lead when defender Robbie Hughes headed in a corner.

Three minutes after the Binghamton goal the Seawolves responded. Sophomore midfielder Martin Giordano crossed in a low cross into the box from the right wing which was deflected in by junior midfielder Keith McKenna.

Stony Brook would have numerous opportunities to take the lead in the final minutes of the second half but could not break through. Most notably, a shot by freshman midfielder Favio Sbarra from deep that ringed off the crossbar and left the Seawolves thinking what could’ve been.

The game would end 2-2 after regulation, which sent the game into overtime. After both teams couldn’t get anything going in the first and second overtime, the game ended in a 2-2 draw.

The offensive struggles for the Seawolves were not new. Stony Brook has

not scored more than one goal in a game for the five prior games, and couldn’t get the job done today with countless opportunities to score.

“We’ve been really focusing on trying to be dangerous in the attackive third,” said Stony Brook head coach Ryan Anatol.

“We’ve been creating chances and we haven’t been doing a good job putting them away.”

One of the bright sides on offense for the Seawolves is midfielder McKenna.

His goal today has made it 3 goals in three games for the junior.

“Keith is working hard, he’s been doing that for the whole season,” said coach Anatol.

The unsung hero for the Seawolves is goalkeeper Carlos Villa. He had eight saves on the day including a big one in the second overtime to preserve the draw for Stony Brook.

“That’s what we expected from him, he’s a senior, he’s a leader, he’s been in these types of games before,” Antanol said.

The Seawolves will be taking on Hartford University on Sunday, Oct. 27.

VOL XXXV Issue 4

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