Tsu Han Hwang's Portfolio

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A COLLECTION OF WORK

BY TSU-HAN HWANG

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

TABLE OF CONTENTS PROLOGUE THE FIRST CHAPTER Remove THE FRIST CHAPTER Rejection THE SECOND CHAPTER Recover THE FINAL CHAPTER Reborn

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The Ta b l e O f Co nt ent s

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

THE PERSONAL HISTORY BEHIND THE WORK:

I used to suffer from melancholia, but have since recovered. The healing process impacted me so deeply, I wanted to express the experience through a series of self-portraits.

The project is divided into four parts to provide a narrative for the melancholia experience; how melancholia starts, why it happens, how it affects people, and how to avoid situations and feelings of depression. This project has not only continued my personal growth, but also encourages others to understand, help, and heal those in need.

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Pro l o gue

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Remove THE FRIST CHAPTER //

Melancholia, for me is not simply ‘sadness’ and ‘depression’, but rather a cage that traps me in crippling negative emotions like self-denial, numbness, and suffering. It removes my will to live and to desire to feel the world, causing me to feel guilty for my own existence.

Friendships, relationships, and work suffer. I got denial from family, friends, teachers, colleagues, and employers. As a result, I feel alone, numb, and try to hurt myself for being alive. With melancholia, I feel so close to emotional

collapse, that nobody cares about me and if someone tells me something like “Life is perfect!” or calls me “ Crybaby!”, that I will want to destroy myself.

What I want is to encourage an understanding the real feeling of melancholia found internally, not the superficial definition found in a dictionary. I believe by showing my emotions visually in my self-portraits, people will see melancholia as a serious mental sickness.

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Remove

“Welt” My existence has withered.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

“Pretend” A smiling facade, anguish within.

Time: 2015

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Remove

“Controlled�

I am forced to submit to the constraints of my emotions; melancholy is my puppet master.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

“Self-Abused�

Empty and devoid of self-worth, the only success I find is in achieving my own self-inflicted punishment.

Time: 2015

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Remove

“Numbness�

Like a balloon with with a cut ribbon; no hand reaches to save me and pull me back. I am floating away, lost and numb.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

“Controlled�

I am forced to submit to the constraints of my emotions; melancholy is my puppet master.

Time: 2015

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Remove

“Trapped” I am trapped in a cage of my despair.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Rejection THE SECOND CHAPTER //

Feeling trapped in emotions of hopelessness and despair, I became less confident and satisfied with myself. When I felt unhappy, I focused on memories that I regretted and felt ashamed of. As a result, I fell into a spiral of depression and refused to accept that person, and the woman that I am.

During the melancholic days, those memories haunted me continuously.

They brought feelings of worthlessness, and emptiness. I dodged and rejected the fact that those memories were a part of me. Even when I pushed the memories and sorrow from my head, I still could feel the wounds and hatred in my heart.

“Wounds�

The pain does not subside, even with the ebb of time.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

“Self-Denial�

I cannot accept the remnants of my broken past as a part of who I am.

Time: 2015

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“Destruction” My world is destroyed.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

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“Prison” Melancholia has detained me within the prison of my depression.

Time: 2015

After: “Haunting Memories” Spectral memories of the past haunt and consume me.

Time: 2015

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Recover THE THIRD CHAPTER //

Eventually, my parents introduced me to a counselor. They told me that she would help me to defeat my melancholia, and so began the process of healing.

She guided me through my most painful memories, to work though them, and comfort the ‘past me’. Overtime, I started to accept myself, and moved out of the void of self-hatred. I felt

my negative emotions were released and I once again felt love for myself. I focused on positive thoughts, and recognized people around me were helping and staying with me. I no longer felt isolated and empty.

I have come to terms with my past, and accepted it as a part of me. Because of it, I am who I am, and will use these experiences to continue to grow as a person.

“Rescued” The hand of salvation pulling me from the depths of my abyss.

Time: 2015

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Rej ec t i o n

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

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Rec over

“Recover” I accept my past is part for me.

Time: 2016

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

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Rec over

“Forgiveness�

Accepting who I was, and embracing the past.

Time: 2017

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Reborn THE LAST CHAPTER //

After setting my darkest memories free, I felt reborn. Now I wish to share my stories because I want to let those who suffer from melancholia know they are not alone and encourage them to seek help, and escape the cage of depression.

I also wish to help others to understand more about melancholia, so they know how to help

those who experience excessive unhappiness.

Lastly, I hope to influence those that wish to be happy, but have not yet found a method to help them remain positive.

“Funeral�

My past is gone, so I set a funeral for it.

Time: 2016

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Rec over

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Before: “Reborn” Laying to rest the demons of the past, I am reborn a new.

Time: 2016

“Release” Broken of my surly bonds, I am ready to take flight.

Time: 2016

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Rec over

“Let Go” I am free.

Time: 2016

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Tus-Han Hwang

Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017

Tsu-Han is a photographic artist based in San Francisco. She enjoys experimenting in black and white darkroom, alternative process, mixed media, and digital imaging; working with photography beyond photo paper.

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B i o gra phy

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I would like to extend gratitude and appreciationto the following people who helped me along the way:

INSTRUCTORS: Connie Begg (Thesis Advisor) Roger Muller (Portfolio Advisor) Will Mosgrove (Ex-director) Adrienne Pao (Associate Director) James (Jim) Sienkiewicz Kathleen McDonald Michael Sims Chloe Meynier Erik Butler David Wasserman

Family& Friends: Chi-Lin Hwang (Father) Ling-Chu Chen (Mother) Meng-Han Du (Boyfriend)

Gerard Santiago Wen-Ying (Emma) Liu Lu-Er (Deer) Lo Pei-Jung (Crystal) Lin Filipa Portilhol Teixeira Elaine Ly Scarlett Liu Travis Fitzgerald

CONTACT Tsu-Ha n Hwa ng t su ha n hwa ng.webs.com facebook.com/t su ha n hwa ng 415.609.4054 loreena520@hot ma il.com

GR APHIC DESIGN Sca rlet t Liu

WIRTING EDITING Trav is Fit zgera ld

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Tus-Han Hwang

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Selection Of Works 2014 - 2017