COME SOAR. COME SMILE. COME SEE WHAT ALL THE EXCITEMENT IS ABOUT. ROCHESTER, NY IS THE PERFECT FAMILY GETAWAY FOR UNIQUE AND EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES.
COME SOAR. COME SMILE. COME SEE WHAT ALL THE EXCITEMENT IS ABOUT. ROCHESTER, NY IS THE PERFECT FAMILY GETAWAY FOR UNIQUE AND EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES.
COME SOAR. COME SMILE. COME SEE WHAT ALL THE EXCITEMENT IS ABOUT. ROCHESTER, NY IS THE PERFECT FAMILY GETAWAY FOR UNIQUE AND EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES.
Did we mention the world’s largest collection of toys, dolls, and games? Pack your bags and hit the road for an unforgettable trip in a destination full of surprises. With fun for every family, every season of the year, playtime tends to last a little longer in our backyard.
Did we mention the world’s largest collection of toys, dolls, and games? Pack your bags and hit the road for an unforgettable trip in a destination full of surprises. With fun for every family, every season of the year, playtime tends to last a little longer in our backyard.
Did we mention the world’s largest collection of toys, dolls, and games? Pack your bags and hit the road for an unforgettable trip in a destination full of surprises. With fun for every family, every season of the year, playtime tends to last a little longer in our backyard.
If you subscribe to our newsletters, you’ve probably been seeing the same picture I’ve had next to my Editor’s Note for the last few years, of my kids and me standing in the schoolyard after my son’s elementary school graduation. Considering my son is graduating high school next year, I thought it might be time for an update. My babies were, well, babies in that old photo, after all. If you’ve ever tried to get a moody teenage boy to pose for a picture - any picture at all - you’ll know why the new image to the right is just of my 12-year-old daughter and me.
I know it’s terribly cliche, and I hated hearing it too, but the years really go by quickly. If you are about to start the application process for middle or high school, then you probably know what I mean. Check out our Guide to Picking a Middle or High School (page 12) along with helpful directory listings (page 16) to help you get started on what might be an emotional process.
Side note, if you’re NOT subscribed to our newsletters, what are you waiting for?? Go to newyorkfamily.com to sign up now for our weekly newsletters featuring upcoming events and activities, local news and school updates, parenting tips and resources, seasonal event roundups and so much more. Go sign up and come back, I’ll wait.
A historical race for U.S. presidency wraps up next month, and regardless of where your vote lands, it’s a good idea to talk to your children about this important election. In 5 Ways to Help Kids Understand Politics (page 6), we’re sharing ways to encourage them to
become politically active.
Spooky season has finally arrived, so don’t forget to set a day aside for pumpkin picking; we are sharing some great farms nearby (page 26).
Lastly, our cover this month (page 50) is Brooklyn writer, mother, and community builder LaTonya Yvette who recently published a collection of essays. In it, LaTonya writes of home, both in Fort Greene and upstate at The Mae House, a 200-yearold house she fearlessly purchased on her own in 2021, lovingly restored, and opened up as a rest-as-residency space for BIPOC communities.
Happy reading!
Jeannine
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5 Ways to Help Kids Understand PoLitiCS
By Marina DunBar
It’s never too early to start teaching kids about the world they live in, both locally and nationally. With the presidential election right around the corner and political discourse everywhere we look, now is a great time to not only speak to your kids about politics but encourage them to become active and engaged in politics on an individual scale. There’s no reason why children need to wait until they’re old enough to vote to have a voice. Here are five ways to encourage your kids to become politically active in age-appropriate ways.
Mini Elections
What better way to teach kids about democracy than to have them build one from scratch? Hosting mini elections at home or with friends can help children to understand the voting process as well as why and how democracy works the way it does. For young children, you can start with basic topics like voting for your favorite ice cream flavor so that kids get used to voting.
You can then start to introduce hypothetical situations and candidates to stimulate critical thinking. Maybe Candidate #1 wants to require all ice cream to have a cherry on top, but Candidate #2 wants to ban all sprinkles on ice cream. Who would you vote for and why?
Kid-Friendly Newspapers
Political awareness starts with a healthy media diet. Most of the sources that you as an adult read or watch the news might not always have child-friendly content, and the responsibility falls on you of when and how to discuss major events with your child. But there are several resources and news publications that are built specifically for kids who want to stay up to date with local or world politics and events.
These platforms are designed and written in a way to be accessible and safe for even young children. Some examples are:
• BBC Newsround
• Dogo News
• News-O-Matic
• Time for Kids
• CBC Kids News
Though all these news publications are demonstrated to be child-safe, it is always important to explore and familiarize yourself with a platform first and judge for yourself if the content is appropriate for your child.
Write Letters
Writing has always been great practice for kids (and adults) to organize their thoughts. Your kid may be familiar with writing a letter to Santa with a list of things they’d like to have, but what about writing letters to local
officials with a list of things they’d like to have done? Maybe they would like to see newer playground equipment in the park or more options for their school lunch?
Rather than just inquiring about it yourself, encouraging your child to write a letter explaining their opinions to the appropriate official is politics at the grassroot level.
Volunteer Work
Volunteering for causes or organizations that align with their values can help kids develop a deeper understanding of political issues and the impact they can have on society. These organizations do not necessarily have to be politically aligned, rather they demonstrate that caring about an issue means that you sometimes want to get involved directly with it.
For example, a child who wants to volunteer at an animal rescue will be taught about animal rights, and they’ll learn that a big way they can help animals is to support policies that help animals.
Student Councils
Just as school is meant to be practice for your future career, student elections are meant to introduce kids to political discourse and the system of democracy. Student councils, debate clubs, or community service organizations can provide a hands-on understanding of leadership, governance, and civic responsibility.
But even if your kid has no interest in running for office, encourage them to learn more about the students who are running. Maybe they even have questions they’d like to ask their potential elected officials. Knowing your options is the key to political awareness.
tech Is Your Child Using AI for Homework?
Navigating a new digital world
By Thalia Fernandez
It’s no secret that most kids dislike doing their nightly homework. As artificial intelligence (AI) becomes increasingly everywhere and used in various tasks, it’s important for parents to understand how their children might be using these tools, especially for their education and homework. Here’s a guide to help parents navigate this new world cautiously and effectively.
Types of AI Tools
AI tools range from grammar and spell checkers to more advanced tools like essay generators, coding assistants, and problemsolving apps. It’s important for parents to familiarize themselves with these tools and understand what they do. For example, Grammarly is an AI-powered writing assistant that helps with grammar, punctuation, and style. This particular software has been around since 2009, and it’s generally used and acceptable for use by college and sometimes high school students for help with correcting essays and emails.
ChatGPT is a conversational AI that can answer questions, generate text, and assist with writing tasks. This software is much newer, only being around since 2022. Despite only existing for a couple of years, ChatGPT has become smarter and more powerful since its debut. That’s because this platform is an example of machine-learning, meaning it becomes more and more intelligent the more it is used.
Photomath is an app that uses AI to solve math problems and explain the steps, designed for use with a smartphone’s camera to scan and recognize math equations. There are many other examples, but these three are the most popular platforms in each category of AI tool. By understanding these tools and the tasks they perform, parents can better monitor their children’s use and guide them towards appropriate and constructive usage.
Artificial Intelligence is Everywhere
AI is becoming an ever-expanding part of life. Last year, BestColleges surveyed 1,000 undergraduate and graduate students on their usage and opinions on AI. The results show that 56% of college students have used AI on homework assignments or exams. This number is likely much higher than it was a year ago as the technology has become smarter and more prevalent in a short amount of time. Also keep in mind that this is a survey of college students, who are more likely to know how to properly access these platforms and use them for their purposes. But as the tech becomes more known and available, younger and younger students are accessing it.
In a study conducted through Scientific Reports, 74% of surveyed students from various countries said that they’d use ChatGPT for their homework. At the same time, 70% of educators believe that using AI in school assignments constitutes plagiarism. The research also showed that the AI was capable of generating essays at or above the grade level it was tasked to write.
Is Your Child is Using It?
So, if AI is everywhere and could someday be used by everyone, what should you do if your kid is using it? Is it even worth it to discourage usage if the tech is here to stay? The short answer is yes, but it’s a tricky balancing act. Firstly, you should familiarize yourself with the exact app or platform that your child
is using. For instance, using a tool to check grammar is different from having it write an entire essay in most cases. Regular supervision and discussions about how AI tools can also help ensure that they are used appropriately.
Secondly, familiarize yourself with the school and classroom’s policy on AI. Talk to teachers about what they may have already told their class regarding AI or ask them if they can incorporate a lecture on AI practices into a lesson plan.
Rather than immediately scolding your kid if you catch them with AI tools, instead reframe the conversation around what these tools really do and how they can either help or hold back educational progress. Encourage your child to share if and what they’ve learned and how they’ve used the tools to supplement their studies.
For example, using Photomath to help understand how or why an equation is solved in a certain way is actively educational, and can even be a useful tool for parents who want to help their kids with math homework. But simply using it to copy answers is detrimental to the learning process.
And remember that even if AI is becoming more intelligent, that doesn’t mean it will always be accurate. It’s important to always teach kids to double-check their answers and to verify information through multiple sources. AI can be helpful as an additional way to check your work, but it should never be your first or only source of information and problem-solving.
WE’RE WE’RE
ENROLLING ENROLLING GRADES
K-8 GRADES K-8
“I LOVE HOW ENGAGED THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY IS ABOUT BETTERING OUR CHILDREN’S EDUCATION.”
EXPLORE SCHOOLS PARENT
Murals with a Positive Message
By Marina DunBar
With school back in full swing, so you might be searching for some afterschool or weekend activities for your child to express their creativity outside of the classroom. If you’re looking for a program that is artistic, educational, free, and stands up for a greater good, then we can confidently suggest your kids try out the community mural project at Groundswell.
Groundswell is an art initiative that brings together artists, educators, and activists alongside students, teens, and young children to participate in painting murals that are displayed throughout NYC. The murals always
aim to bring attention to larger social issues and are inspired by the ideas and motivations of the younger generations.
The group isn’t just about teaching children to paint (though they’ll definitely learn), but about showing young people how empty space can be transformed into an extravagant canvas with a political or social message. Or as the group describes it, “Transforming blank walls into sites of public dialogue.”
Founder Amy Sananman was inspired over 20 years ago to create an organization that com-
bined artistic expression with societal progress. “I think there’s a lot of intersection between art and social justice,” she said. “It’s being able to imagine the unimaginable. The ability to envision something that doesn’t exist yet can be a radical act.”
Founded in 1996, Groundswell has since completed over 500 murals for various social causes and locations around the city. One example that encapsulates the organization’s work is Dreams and Aspirations, designed by 200 young adult NYCHA residents ages 16-24. The
Isabella Picicci
Jonathan was born with sickle cell disease
Pain crisis, hospital visit
Fell in love with sports
Pain crisis, hospital visit
mural centers on the message that our future is our children, as is located at the entrance of a childcare center.
Another example is Bridges, a collaborative project between young artists and elders in Manhattan. The mural signifies the connection across different generations through themes of evolving technology and community. It is located at the entrance to the Saint Nicholas Houses Senior Citizens Center in Harlem.
Several young artists credit Groundswell as introducing them to their love of art. Some even enjoy being a part of the group so much that they circle back and join again when they’re older. Angel Garcia, now an Assistant Artist at Groundswell, had that exact journey.
“I came back here after going to college to study illustration,” Angel said. “I just love the process. I love painting murals. And I love the challenge of talking to all different kinds of people and thinking of ways to visualize what they’re telling us.”
Isaiah Lindsay is a 19-year-old college student who’s currently helping to paint a mural that will be installed outside of the building where he and his family live. He has played a
large part in designing the mural.
“The one we’re working on now is meant to highlight the injustice in the housing world,” Isaiah said. “A lot of what’s on here was my idea, but I really can’t take credit for everything. We’re a team and we hope that putting this on the building will make people think deeper about these issues that are still happening.”
Visualizing ways to communicate deep social messages is a tall task for a child, one that begins with learning the fundamentals of art and communication. Painting from a young age helps children assign meanings to different shapes and colors under certain contexts, which aids in the development of literacy and critical thinking.
Betty Bushwick, a mother of 3 boys, says that Groundswell has helped her sons to explore, interact, and engage more with the world around them. Her middle son, 7-year-old Xavier, was diagnosed with autism and hyperactivity, and painting has helped to improve his and his brothers’ understanding of their emotions.
“Painting really helps them to focus, it’s a calming activity,” said Bushwick. “We’ve started using color charts at home as a way to help them
express their emotions. Red is angry, blue is sadness, things like that. Art is a healthy way for children to better understand what they’re feeling.”
Her sons agree. “My favorite part is painting the mural,” said Xavier.
And whether you’ve been a part of the group for years or you’ve just discovered it, Groundswell has a way of making you and your children feel like you’ve always been a part of this artloving family. Many parents first discover the group either by looking online for family-friendly activities or through word-of-mouth.
Rich Jean is a father of two, 15-year-old Abigail and 7-year-old Hannah, who just discovered Groundswell a couple of hours before deciding to come check it out with his daughters. “This is the first time I’ve ever been here,” Jean said. “I was just sitting at home and I googled things to do for me and my daughters. As soon as we walked in, they treated us like family.”
He’s already positive that they’ll be coming back. “This reminds me of the old Brooklyn, the one where everyone was involved in the community and everyone wanted to make art. I would recommend this to everyone.”
Your Guide to Picking a Middle or High School
By Jeannine Cintron & Mia Sala S
As the parent of a child in high school and another in middle school, I can tell you these are some important years. Your babies have outgrown their baby faces; your children are entering adolescence and soon, adulthood. They have hopes and dreams, goals and talents, and very bright futures ahead. With your support and a good education, there is no limit to how high they can fly.
A good education starts with a good school, and here in New York, we have some of the best options in the country, maybe even the world. New York offers many new and established middle and high school options, reflecting the diversity of educational approaches. From public institutions to private academies, charter schools, and beyond, the array of choices can feel overwhelming. It’s not the worst problem to have, when you think about it.
Recognizing the importance of finding the perfect school for your tween or teen, we’ve compiled an updated guide to the different types of school options available to students in New York. Our guide covers a broad spectrum of institutions, taking into account the changing academic and career landscape. Read on for tips and reasons to attend open houses for your child’s prospects along with some helpful websites and resources you will need as you begin the application process together.
Public Schools
New York schools place a strong emphasis on equipping students for future success. From middle to high school, the focus remains on obtaining diplomas, pursuing a technical or college education, and building fulfilling careers.
Public schools offer many extracurricular activities, internships, and volunteer opportunities, allowing students to explore
their interests and gain practical experience. The flexibility in scheduling encourages students to discover their passions. The commitment to diversity and inclusion ensures that every student can embrace their identity while benefiting from a supportive learning environment. Resources are in place to assist multilingual and special education learners, guaranteeing that no child is left behind.
As students progress through high school, they learn time management, balance between interests and requirements, college and career planning, and valuable life skills.
Charter Schools
Charter schools provide free, publicly-funded education to all children while operating independently. Charter schools have the freedom to innovate, adapting to students’ needs and experimenting with different learning approaches. Extended school days and years are common, allowing for comprehensive education. These schools support special needs students and English language learners. Clear performance goals motivate charter schools to prepare students for college and careers through enhanced
communication skills, effective time management, extracurricular engagement, and academic excellence. Many charter school buildings are brand new, with a more modern look than their public counterparts.
Private Schools
New York private schools provide middle and high schoolers with a wealth of options, from clubs and activities to meaningful projects. With spacious indoor and outdoor facilities, advanced technology resources, athletic teams, student publications, and summer programs, students have all they need to excel. The emphasis on individuality and responsibility empowers students to pursue independent interests and leadership roles, both in and out of the classroom. Smaller class sizes foster deep connections between peers and teachers, ensuring personalized support.
Boarding Schools
For a more independent educational experience, consider New York boarding schools. These institutions attract students worldwide, immersing them in a diverse and enriching environment.
Access to state-of-the-art facilities, including libraries, studios, and science labs, prepares high schoolers for university-level coursework. Leadership opportunities and college counseling resources pave the way for higher education success. Dormitory life offers a taste of independence and the chance to form lasting peer connections.
Catholic Schools
Catholic high schools offer a nurturing environment rooted in religious values. Students gain a deeper understanding of self, God, and community. With impressive graduation rates, college acceptances, and successful career out-
comes, New York Catholic schools have a strong track record. Co-ed and single-sex options are available, each offering a unique atmosphere. Students aiming for Catholic high schools should prepare for the Test for Admission into Catholic High Schools (TACHS) exam.
Jewish Schools
Jewish middle and high schools blend education with traditional values, fostering a holistic learning experience. Through Torah study, observance of traditions, connection to Jewish history, appreciation for Israel, and engagement in social and political activism, students develop into thoughtful young adults. Jewish schools emphasize learning inside and outside the classroom, with clubs, religious observances, and field trips enhancing the educational journey. Co-ed and single-sex Jewish schools offer choices to suit each family’s preferences.
Reasons to Attend a Middle and High School Open House
Open houses are so important! Once you’ve settled on a type of school and narrowed it down to a few different prospects, find out when each school is holding their open house and plan to attend as many as you can with your child. Here’s why these events are essential.
Meet the Faculty : This is an opportunity for you and your child to meet their potential future teachers and principal. The principal, in particular, plays a major role in the school and consequently, in the lives of the students. It is very important that you feel comfortable with this person being at the forefront of your child’s education.
Be on the School’s Radar : Schools often take note of which students attend their open house events and that could be a factor in their decision to offer your child a spot. Always be sure to neatly write your child’s name on the attendance sheet so they know they were there.
Get a Feel for the Surroundings : Ever hear of good vibes? That’s exactly what you should feel for a prospective school. The atmosphere, the staff, the location, the students – all of it should just feel right. If it doesn’t, trust your gut and cross that school off your list.
Assess Your Commute : The open house is a good chance to do a practice run on the
commute. You can see how far the school is from your home, how long it takes to get there, and what the surrounding neighborhood is like. At the open house you will also learn which transportation options are available.
Learn About Programs Offered : This is often one of the most important deciding factors when selecting a school. At the open house, you will be given an in-depth look at the programs and courses offered at the school. You can ask questions, meet the teachers heading up each program and learn about your child’s academic options.
Voice Safety Concerns : Your child’s safety is crucial. At an open house, the school will address any questions or concerns you have about security measures, emergency procedures, possible crime statistics and more. This is your chance to express any health concerns you have as well, and to learn the school’s covid/sickness regulations and preventive measures.
Learn About the School Day : At the open house, you will find out what time school starts and ends, when your child will be eating lunch, what her daily schedule might look like, how the periods are structured and other information about the school day.
See Which Afterschool Activities and Clubs Are Available : Most schools offer af-
ter-school sports, academic clubs, and other programs your child might be interested in joining. A school that offers a wide variety of extracurricular activities might play a large role in his decision to apply.
Meet Current Students : One of the best ways to learn about a school is from the students themselves. At the open house, students are often on hand to help describe the programs in which they are involved and what student life is like at the school.
Learn About The Application And Selection Process : Some schools require tests or auditions, other schools screen applicants based on grades or other factors and some select students entirely at random. At the open house, you will learn what is required to apply to the school and estimate your child’s odds of receiving an offer. You can also ask questions or voice your concerns about the process to ensure you have all the information you need to help them apply for enrollment.
Learn the School’s Rules & Policies : Some schools don’t allow cell phones, other schools have strict dress codes. If there is a rule you think will become an issue for your child in the future, or adversely, something you’d like the school to be strict about, this is a good time to find out – and decide if that makes the school a quick check off your list or a reason to bump it up.
OPEN HOUSE OPEN HOUSE
MIDDLE SCHOOL & HIGH SCHOOL DIRECTORY
Brooklyn Prospect Charter Schools
Locations throughout Brooklyn CSD 13 &15
201-500-5334 brooklynprospect.org
Brooklyn Prospect is a K-12 college preparatory network of seven schools where excellent educators support a diverse community of learners to explore their passions, make positive social change, and achieve strong academic outcomes. Brooklyn Prospect Schools is an International Baccalaureate (IB) world school community with the aim of giving students the education needed to thrive in a global community. In addition to outstanding arts enrichment classes, all Prospect Schools have after-school programming until 6pm every day and invest in students’ physical and mental wellbeing with outdoor activities, sports and socio-emotional curriculum.
Brooklyn Waldorf School 11 Jefferson Ave. brooklynwaldorf.org
The Brooklyn Waldorf School engages students in learning with their whole selves, “hands, hearts and heads” from preschool through 8th grade. BWS is serving the future through critical thinking, emotional intelligence and practical arts with a handson curriculum that takes a developmentally appropriate approach to technology. Take a tour and see how Brooklyn Waldorf School cultivates a new generation of independent thinkers as vibrant and diverse as our surrounding city.
Community Roots Charter School
50 Navy St 718-522-2166 communityroots.org dforsythe@communityroots. org
Community Roots Charter Middle School is a rigorous public learning community serving grades 6 through 8
where education is embedded in meaningful real-world contexts and children are taught to see the connections between school and the world. Students will meet or exceed the Common Core Standards and be prepared to excel in the 21st century by becoming independent thinkers and working productively within a diverse group of learners. Students learn to combine curiosity with appropriate application, which leads to deep understanding and the confidence to become who they want to be.
The Charter School for Law and Social Justice
High School: 1960 University Ave.
NEW Middle School: 110 E Tremont Ave. 347-696-0042 chslsj.org
The NEW Charter School for Law and Social Justice Middle School invites your child to join their vibrant school community, now accepting applications for the 6th grade class.
The school offers a rigorous curriculum focused on Law and Social Justice, ensuring their middle and high school scholars are well-prepared for future success. Middle school scholars have a direct pathway to high school, while their high school scholars can earn college credits through a specialized college course sequence and are prepared for both college and career.
Explore Schools
Prospect Heights, Crown Heights, Flatbush, & Canarsie 718- 989-6730 exploreschools.org/enroll exploreschools.org
Explore Schools of Brooklyn has committed to the charge of providing students with the academic skills and critical thinking abilities they need to succeed in a college preparatory high school. They serve students in grades K-8 across central Brooklyn, NY. Their curriculum is aligned to the common core, and they are committed to creating a culturally responsive program, Holistic
Leadership
100% College Acceptance: Class of
and provide special education services. Their academic program is strong, as more of their students perform proficiently or higher on NYS Exams than other city and district public schools.
The IDEAL School of Manhattan 5 Hanover Square 212-769-1699 theidealschool.org admissions@theidealschool. org
The IDEAL School of Manhattan is a different kind of private school. IDEAL expands the definition of diversity to include ability and economic status. Generous financial assistance packages have built a student body that is more diverse than any other private school. IDEAL’s robust academic program is designed to meet students where they are to reach their goals. Schedule a visit or join an open house to learn more about this K-12+ school.
La Salle Academy 215 E 6th Street, Manhattan 212-475-8940
LaSalleAcademy.org
Discover La Salle Academy, an all-boys Catholic high school where tradition meets innovation. Their robust curriculum includes AP and dual credit courses, and their exclusive partnerships with pre-med programs, STEM fields, and the NBA set them apart. With an upcoming move to a stateof-the-art facility on Second Street, La Salle is dedicated to shaping future leaders and ensuring unparalleled educational excellence.
Manhattan Charter School proudly operates New York City’s first AI-focused middle school with an IB-inspired curriculum on the Lower East Side. Their program combines a rigorous core curriculum
with a focus on artificial intelligence, fostering critical thinking and digital literacy. Students also benefit from daily music instruction and enrichment in French, art, physical education, and technology. They are dedicated to preparing students for future success with a well-rounded education that encourages creativity, curiosity, and innovation.
Pine Street School
156 William St. 212-235-2325
pinestreetschool.com
hsingh@greenivy.com
Pine Street Middle School provides a boutique educational experience for students that is driven through inquiry-based transdisciplinary learning and forward-thinking technology practices. Rooted in authentic experiences, conventional subject disciplines serve as a lens through which big ideas are explored. Middle School students have the option to choose Spanish or Mandarin language immersion. The curriculum follows the Com-
mon Ground Collaborative, which is fully aligned with the principles and practices of the International Baccalaureate Primary Years Program.
Williamsburg Charter High School
198 Varet St. 347-217-6995
thewcs.org admissions@thewcs.org WCHS unites youth, families, staff, teachers and the community at large in providing young people with the tools necessary to become citizens of the local and global community. Students at WCHS accomplish this through participation in a liberal arts education that includes language, literature, writing, science, history, mathematics, the visual and performing arts, technology and explorations in justice, independent thinking, respect and compassion for themselves and others as well as critical thinking, communication and research.
Surgeon General Shares New Warning: Parents Are Too Stressed Out!
By Thalia Fernandez
This just in: parents are STRESSED OUT. What a newsflash, right?
Well, according to the latest warning from the U.S. Surgeon General, the amount of pressure American parents are under is actually a cause for national concern, one that warrants immediate action.
Being a parent in 2024 comes with an entirely new set of challenges. Today, parents have to navigate the complexities of social media, their children’s loneliness, their own feelings of isolation, fears about sending children to school, and a lack of community support, not to mention the stressors all adults face with health, finances, and just surviving each day. The Surgeon General’s Advisory focuses on the challenges faced by parents and caregivers and how it can all affect their mental health.
When it comes to support, the advisory shared by Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is broken down into the sections of support systems, which are summarized below.
What National, Territorial, State, Local, and Tribal Governments Can Do
The advisory recommends increased funding for programs supporting parents, caregivers, and families. It emphasizes policies that focus on childcare subsidies, universal preschool, and early childhood education programs. One of the most important points made is the need for a national paid family and medical leave program that offers families the time they need to care for family matters, which also falls into the point that’s made about addressing the financial barriers that many parents face. On a local level, governments are asked to create more communal spaces that offer a sense of community. These are spaces where parents can engage with one another, build their own support, and feel safe.
What Employers Can Do
Employers are being asked to support the well-being of parents and caregivers in the
workplace by offering paid leave, flexible work schedules, and access to childcare, as well as training managers on stress management and work-life balance. The advisory states that employers should provide access to comprehensive and affordable mental health care through health insurance plans and confidential counseling services.
What Communities, Community Organizations, and Schools Can Do Community care is vital for parents and families to thrive. There is a need for having open dialogues, providing resources, and fostering social connections to address parental stress. Community members and organizations are also significant supports in reducing stigma and helping parents and caregivers as they can provide families with resources and essential information. Another
important way communities can know what parents and caregivers need is by involving them in shaping community programs and implementing school-based support initiatives.
What Health and Social Service Systems and Professionals Can Do Health and social systems should prioritize mental health and preventive care for parents and caregivers, focusing on stress management, mental health education, and traumainformed care. The advisory suggests early screenings for mental health conditions and referrals to supportive resources while collaborating with community organizations to offer support.
What Researchers Can Do
This section emphasizes the need for research to understand, prevent, and improve mental health in parents and caregivers. It highlights essential methodologies, qualitative research, involving diverse populations, and developing effective strategies and interventions. It also stresses
research that will help in addressing barriers to mental health care access.
What Family and Friends Can Do Families and friends are our closest and most immediate community. The support they provide is just as important as any other system. The advisory suggests offering practical support to parents and caregivers to reduce the impact of stress. It encourages regular communication, engagement with empathy without judgment, and remaining vigilant about mental health challenges that the parents in our communities face. Sometimes, parents are just looking for someone to check in, and while these acts seem small, they make a huge difference.
What Parents and Caregivers Can Do
For parents and caregivers, self-care is essential. Parents should engage in stressreducing activities, set healthy boundaries, seek support from others, have access to comprehensive insurance, and educate themselves about mental health.
As the saying goes, mental health is mental wealth, and it’s not something to take lightly. For many, there is still a major stigma surrounding the topic of mental health and simply asking for help.
But, not being able to care for oneself and relieve daily stressors can hurt us in the long run. It’s proven that ongoing stress can impact our health and well-being. The
A mental health expert weighs in
We had the opportunity to speak to a mental health expert on the topic. We asked a few questions about these pressures and how parents can begin to ease some of these daily stressors today. Justin A. Di Lalla (he/him) is a social worker and HIV counselor at a hospital in the Bronx. Justin completed his graduate studies at Fordham University and strongly advocates for mental health accessibility, LGBTQ+ rights, and social justice.
What are the common signs of parental stress, and how can one identify them early?
A vital tool to address the stress caused by parental challenges is the ability to recognize the signs and symptoms of said stress. The most common include increased irritability, fatigue, changes in sleep patterns, and diminished participation in social activities. For the more severe cases, parents may also exhibit signs of anxiety or depression, such as persistent worry or difficulty concentrating. Identifying these signs early involves identifying changes in one’s behavioral pattern, emotional state, and overall well-being. Early recognition and open communication about these stressors can help in seeking appropriate guidance and support.
How can parents set healthy boundaries to prevent burnout?
Parents can set healthy boundaries by clearly defining their limitations regarding time, energy, and commitments. Prioritizing self-care is a crucial component in allow-
ing parents to identify their limits and feel confident in expressing them. It’s important that parents surround themselves with a supportive community made of friends, family, and neighbors who are willing to provide assistance when and however possible. However, we know how difficult this can be for many parents who do not have a co-parent, supportive community, or knowledge on how to prioritize self-care. For this reason, change needs to happen at all levels of our society to make sure parents have the support and guidance that they need.
What are some effective coping strategies for managing stress while balancing work and family life?
Interestingly enough, setting healthy boundaries is, without a doubt, an effective coping strategy for managing stress as a parent. In many instances, coping strategies can be defined as emotion-focused, solution-focused, or some combination of both. Some emotion-focused coping strategies include taking a walk in a quiet area like a park, practicing mindfulness— which can include meditation—and participating in positive self-talk or affirmations. Solution-focused coping strategies include the healthy boundary setting we spoke about, creating to-do lists and delegating responsibilities, and, for those experiencing a more debilitating form of stress, seeking a therapist or counselor to assist in identifying and managing parent’s stress.
American Psychological Association states that “the long-term activation of the stress response system and the overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones that come with it can disrupt almost all of your body’s processes.”
The article continues, “This can put you at increased risk for a variety of physical and mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, digestive issues, headaches, muscle tension and pain, heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure, stroke, sleep problems, weight gain, and memory and concentration impairment.” In short, while the stress parents feel has seemingly become normalized, parental stress is absolutely something that needs to be addressed.
The Surgeon General’s Advisory highlights the importance of health and social service systems in cultivating a culture where parents and caregivers can thrive. Do you agree with what is being asked of these systems, and would you suggest any additional support?
Yes, I agree with the Surgeon General’s assessment and recommendation. Unfortunately, the solutions we tend to provide community members with, including parents, are bandaid-type of solutions; they focus on the immediate problem and not the root cause. Health and social service systems need to be more integrated and person-centered. For too long, these systems have worked in silos, which tends to negatively impact those most marginalized in our communities. Hospital systems, community organizations, and governmental entities need to work together to establish an integrated and cohesive path for parents and non-parents to receive the support that they need while also dismantling any barriers that might get in the way.
Parents are experiencing incredible pressures, so much so that the U.S. Surgeon General had to issue an advisory. These pressures require and deserve a village. Understanding that this job can’t be done alone is the first step in some significant changes. There’s a glimmer of hope with VP Kamala Harris’ plan for a $6,000 child tax credit for families during the first year of a child’s life and VP candidate JD Vance also supporting expanding the child tax credit. It’s clear that our systems need some significant changes; until then, parents will continue doing this stressful job and making it look easy.
Books Laughing Through the Pain
Mom shares her cancer journey in memoir, “Nearly Departed”
By Shara Levine
Ispend an unhealthy amount of time on social media. I know this because my screen time report likes to shame me every so often. I won’t say my Instagram addiction is a good thing, but finding Gila Pfeffer’s account certainly inspired me to take my reproductive health into my hands.
All it took was stumbling across a single clever post by the Nearly Departed: Adventures in Loss, Cancer, and Other Inconveniences author and it was follow-atfirst-meme. Perusing more of her posts I saw that we are both from New York (I’m from Brooklyn, she’s from Staten Island), both moms of four, and both share the same dry sense of humor.
Humor to Entertain and Empower
Gila uses that relatable sense of humor to entertain her followers with her rye observations and to highlight the importance of breast cancer prevention, an issue that has unfortunately impacted her whole life.
On the first day of every month you can depend on Gila to share her monthly #feelitonthefirst posts, a series of comical photos where Gila poses holding various pairs of items over her chest as a reminder to her followers to perform monthly breast exams on themselves.
While self-exams are absolutely not a substitute for annual mammograms, they empower women to take control of their health and follow up with their doctors if anything suspicious is found.
Gila is passionate about breast cancer prevention because not only did her mother pass away from the disease, but she is a breast cancer survivor herself.
In her new memoir, Nearly Departed, Gila chronicles her breast cancer journey from the moment she learned her mother
might have the disease (while standing in the middle of John F. Kennedy international airport on her way to study in Israel for a semester) to making the brave personal decision to save her own life with what was supposed to be a preventative double mastectomy.
Permitting Readers to Laugh During the Challenging Moments
Gila’s mother unfortunately succumbed to the disease at the young age of 43, leaving behind a bereft husband and five grieving
children. She then became a breast cancer expert against her own will, using all of the knowledge she gained to ensure the disease wouldn’t take hold of her and her family the way it did for her and her siblings. Although “Nearly Departed” is a story of loss, it’s also a story of survival, and one that Gila tells with her natural sense of humor peppered throughout, giving readers permission to laugh even during some of the heaviest moments.
Gila did everything she could to stop cancer from reaching her: scheduling regular
screenings, having all of her children before the age that her mother was diagnosed, and taking a blood test to determine if she was a carrier of the BRCA gene mutation. The BRCA gene test determines if someone is a carrier of the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation, which lets the patient know if they have an increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer.
No surprise to Gila, the results came back positive. With this, Gila opted for a prophylactic double mastectomy, a surgery where she would have both breasts removed to lower the chances of developing breast cancer.
The procedure ended up saving her life sooner than anticipated – not because it prevented an occurance of breast cancer –but because cancer cells were found.
Despite all that Gila did to not be in this position, cancer found its way in. Gila’s oncologist felt confident that she would have a positive prognosis, but still suggested chemotherapy as a precaution. But make no mistake, this was not “chemo-lite”. Hair loss, nausea, weakness, various side effects, and
On the first day of every month you can depend on Gila to share her monthly #feelitonthefirst posts, a series of comical photos where Gila poses holding various pairs of items over her chest as a reminder to her followers to perform monthly breast exams on themselves.
a long list of medications that would rival a CVS receipt were all part of the grueling process of eight-hour treatments every two weeks for four months.
After completing her chemotherapy treatment Gila also opted to take another precaution by having her ovaries removed to prevent estrogen production which could lead to a recurrence. Gila’s journey had an immediate impact on her sisters and led them to make decisions about their own health, helping to save their own lives as well.
Nearly Departed is an Empowering and Beautifully Written Memoir To say that Gila has been through a lot is the understatement of the century. Nearly
Departed is an empowering and beautifully written memoir weaving humor, raw emotion, and education.
Countess readers will be inspired by Gila’s bravery in taking control of her health, despite the difficulties she faced, and coming out the other side healthy and here to witness all of the family’s milestones she might have missed out on if she didn’t take steps to save her own life.
To learn more about Gila Pfeffer and Nearly Departed, visit gilapfeffer.com and follow her on Instagram, Threads, and X. Nearly Departed is available now at your local bookstore and online retailers. Just make sure to also purchase at least one box of Kleenex before reading- you’ll need it.
Exploring College Alternatives with Your High School Senior
By Thalia Fernandez
Senior year is a significant milestone for any high school student. It’s a time when they start preparing for their future and considering what is the right fit for them. While the traditional route is heading to college, it’s a path that only some want to take.
If you’ve got a teen who’s confused, overwhelmed, and not sure about college, it might be time to start discussing alternatives, and there are a lot. From trade schools to gap years, there are plenty of options, and here’s how you can start having that conversation today.
Where to Start: Their Interests
Parents play an essential role in helping their children navigate the many career options available today. A great way to start is by discussing your child’s interests and reassuring them that they’re not alone in this journey.
Questions you can ask to get the conversation started:
• What are your favorite things to do in your free time?
• Are there any subjects in school that you like more than others?
• When you think about your future, is there anything you feel potentially excited about?
• Is there something you think might be out of reach?
Presenting your kids with these questions will give them space to reflect on their passions and open up the conversation. Opening up the conversation will also help to narrow down the potential college alternatives that can be explored.
College Alternatives
Today, there are several “non-traditional” options for kids to consider. Below are just a few.
Trade Schools : Trade schools provide hands-on training for specific careers. While trade schools are not tuition-free, they are
generally more affordable than traditional four-year colleges. Trade schools are all about focusing on the specific career you’re interested in without signing up for courses that don’t align with your major. Classes are generally smaller and are all focused on your career of choice. It’s also one of the best ways to land a job quickly. There are plenty of job options for graduates who have studied in trade and vocational schools. Some career options for these schools are culinary arts,
the automobile industry, cosmetics, dental, construction, HVAC, animal care, and more.
Community College : Community College is a great alternative to your standard four-year college or university. It’s a popular option for many reasons. Students can walk away with a degree; it’s a way to explore whether or not college is a great fit and can serve as a transition from high school to university. Community colleges often offer more flexible schedules, lower tuition costs,
and smaller class sizes, making the experience feel personalized and less overwhelming than the traditional university route.
Apprenticeships : Apprenticeships are paid programs that combine classroom instruction with on-the-job training and direct supervision to prepare students for their careers. Apprenticeships are great college alternatives that are often overlooked. Some of the benefits are getting paid while learning, gaining skills from a mentor, obtaining credentials, receiving mentorship, degree potential, and avoiding student debt. Apprenticeship programs are offered by community colleges, technical training schools, and employers. Families can also search for current apprenticeship opportunities by heading to apprenticeship. gov.
Military or Navy : Joining the military or navy is another common alternative for teens not interested in attending a university. While joining the military is a huge commitment, there are pros to choosing to serve. Joining the military can mean exploring various skills for free, getting paid to work, and, for
some, getting the opportunity to travel the world. This can be an alternative for teens who have shown interest in serving.
Coding Boot Camp Programs : Coding boot camp programs have recently gained a lot of popularity because of the potential earnings that come from working in the field of software engineering or other technical fields. Coding boot camps can range from six to twenty-eight weeks and are known for being intense. Those who choose to sign up for coding boot camps gain a lot of knowledge in a short amount of time. These programs also generally provide their students with job opportunities at the end.
Gap Year/Working : Sometimes, one of the best options for teens who may be confused about the future is allowing them to explore the real world and head straight to work. A gap year could be what your teen needs. Gap years are a way to explore the real world while also having support from parents along the way. Working full-time will provide hands-on experience, teach kids the value of money, and can even land them in a career they would have never thought of.
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Sometimes, landing an entry-level job can mean falling into the career meant for you, which can happen during a gap year.
These are just a few alternatives to college that can help ease your teens confusion and offer some clarity on the many options that exist out there today. The traditional college route doesn’t have to be for everyone, and it’s important that teens know that, especially at a time when it’s all they’re told to focus on.
The Ongoing Conversation
The conversation doesn’t end with providing alternatives or asking a couple of questions; it’s probably going to be something you actively work through throughout the year. A big part of their confusion can stem from not fully knowing what the real world has to offer and what life as an adult truly looks like.
Some of the best things parents can offer are support, understanding, and knowledge of what life after high school looks like. Keep the conversation going and acknowledge that this can be a confusing time for anyone, but eventually, you figure out what’s best for you.
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“ OK to Ask” Opens Up the Conversion
Discussing dangers in the home between parents
BY DONNA DUARTE- LADD
As a parent, you may know that handling delicate situations is not always easy. For example, you may have to tell a good friend that their child may be bullying your child. Or you have to ask if the birthday party is nut-free as your child has a severe nut allergy. Or sometimes you want to know if there are drugs or firearms in a home your child is visiting, which could be a dealbreaker for some parents.
According to the CDC, in the US, unintentional firearms deaths among children are up. For children and adolescents aged 0–17 years, firearms are a leading injury method. This means these guns are accessible and not kept in safe lock devices and are loaded. Meredith Burns, Emily Onkey, Joey Wölffer, and Laney Crowell know this. As concerned mothers of gun violence who started a Moms Demand Action chapter, they realized through meetings and conversations that it was time to normalize having a conversation around safety and building trust with each other in a way that destigmatized the conversation. This is how the “OK to Ask” campaign was founded. As parents, we realize that we must be part of the change to avoid these avoidable tragedies. Brava to these mothers for taking such an important initiative.
We recently chatted with these fierce mothers to learn more about the campaign.
How did your campaign “OK to Ask” come about?
We are moms and friends who started a Moms Demand Action group last summer in Sag Harbor after watching so many acts of gun violence happen nationally without anything changing.
We were so encouraged by the enthusiasm and support from other moms who were having the same fears. A lot of us didn’t know
each other or know where people stood on guns, because sadly it has gotten so politicized, but what we knew we had in common was having made this adventurous decision to live out east full time in large part to give our kids a life in this beautiful place year-round. That bonded us all. We were motivated and felt a sense of obligation to create the most incredible community where there is a sentiment of raising our kids together and feeling responsible for one another.
Every month we’d meet and it was an incredible experience to sit around a table of 50+ women, all with different backgrounds, sharing in our extreme conviction to learn about gun violence prevention, policy, and advocacy from different local leaders and community organizers.
Ok to Ask grew from our natural conversations after these meetings. When the fact that the number one cause of death in school-age kids is guns really sunk in, we started to learn the impact we could have by sharing safe storage information so that no kid is in a home with an unsecured gun – we knew it was essential to launch this conversation in a big way to very simply, just make it Ok to Ask and talk about safe gun storage.
How does discussing tough topics like gun ownership build trust between parents?
We all lean on each other heavily living
here to help with our kids and planning play dates to help with logistics and carpooling. It’s part of our everyday life. Sometimes you know the people really well that are hosting your kids, sometimes you don’t. We wanted to normalize having a conversation around safety and building trust with each other in a way that totally destigmatized the conversation.
We wanted to remove any ounce of shame or embarrassment someone might have and just educate people that unsecured guns are a real hazzard and we have to talk about it in the same way we talk about allergies and pets, gummies, and anything else that might be harmful.
How does that parent’s peer pleasure influence the significance of us not asking hard questions?
I think as parents, we are learning more and more how much we need community, and especially as mothers, how much we need one another. And so of course there is pressure not to be the one in your group to make someone else uncomfortable or do something that ostracized you from a group you really need or want to be part of or accepted into. We started this campaign in a way to take any of that potential uneasiness away from it. We wanted to do the opposite and give parents a way to be part of something by asking the potentially
uncomfortable question – demonstrating that cracking open the conversation can actually be such a relief and something to be so proud of. A mother’s ferocity around protecting her kids is a force to be admired!
What safety steps should parents ask about concerning gun storage?
Most simplistically, you should ask and offer if you have firearms in the home, and if you do, are they secure. It looks like this: “Hi! We are so excited to have Bodhi over for a playdate. Does he have allergies? Does he need floaties in the pool? If so, please send him with them. We don’t have any firearms in the home. Let me know if there’s anything else I can answer!”
OR: “Hi! Thank you for hosting Lily today after school. She has a peanut allergy, so please make sure snacks are nut-free (I sent her home with extra, but she’ll want what Charlotte is having, I’m sure). She’s a great swimmer but might be timid around your dog. Do you have any firearms at home, and if so, can you let me know if they are secure? Also, we don’t let Lily watch any tablets
unsupervised!”
OR: “Hi! Hank can’t wait to have Dylan sleep over. I wanted to let you know we have firearms in the home since my husband is a police officer. They are secured, and our kids don’t know they exist. I’d love to chat and tell you more about that so you feel totally comfortable. Calling you in a few!”
The best resource is the website: Be Smart For Kids. Their acronym SMART is everything you need to know in an upshot.
• Secure all firearms in your home and car
• Model responsible behavior
• A sk about the presence of unsecured firearms in other homes
• Recognize the role of firearms in suicide
• Tell your peers to be SMART
Why is honest communication with other parents important?
When we avoid the hard questions, we avoid an opportunity to make authentic and honest connections, but most importantly in this case, if we can’t have an open conversation with someone about this or other things, then that tells you a lot about
the relationship and the ball is in your court to assess if it’s right for you. Because it’s never about making someone believe your right, or they are right, it’s about child safety. Period.
I think we all have found having an open and honest conversation about this has opened the door to some many wonderful, meaningful and insightful questions that have cultivated authentic friendships. We have a lot of women in the group who have guns in their homes, and a lot who don’t. We have a lot of women who feel staunchly opposed to that, and a lot who don’t. But the great thing is that each of us has a roadmap as to how to simply have the conversation without fear and without getting into a heated argument because OK to Ask is so non judgemental.
What are the “OK to Ask “ next steps?
We will activate the campaign this fall and partner with our district schools, boards, community organizations, and pediatricians to get Be SMART into every home with a child and normalize the conversation around securing firearms.
Pumpkin Picking!
Have you ever wondered what Halloween would be like without the pumpkins? Neither have we; the thought alone is scarier than those haunted houses where actors dress like serial killers and chase you around with fake knives. Thankfully pumpkins are a fall staple - a requirement, really - that is available all over the place. So throw on some boots and a cozy flannel and take your family to the farm! Enjoy a quintessential autumn day of picking pumpkins to carve into jacko-lanterns, display as decor, or bake up into a yummy treat everyone will love. Here are some of the best farms in our area.
Under One Hour from Midtown
Demarest Farms
244 Wiermus Road, Hillsdale, NJ
40 min from Midtown Demarest Farms’ pumpkin picking rolls out on Sept. 21. Make your reservation on their site and pick out the perfect pumpkin. Once you make a reservation, you will be given a date and time to arrive at the farm. The cost for general admission is $8, includes free parking, entrance to the pumpkin patch, petting zoo and hayrides available Saturday and Sunday; plus $12 for the largest pumpkin you pick. Children 2 and under can enter for free. Open 8 am to 5 pm, daily.
Queens Botanical Garden
43-50 Main St., Flushing, Queens
35 min from Midtown, 1 hr via subway
If you’re looking for the perfect fall photo op, you’ll find it at QBG this fall. Ticket fee includes admission to both the pumpkin patch and the garden, so you will have plenty of chances to snap the perfect autumn shot. Kids can also meet and take pictures with costumed nature creatures roaming the farm. For adults 21 and older, available are harvest and pumpkin-themed beers and ciders for purchase. Can’t decide on the perfect pumpkin? Get them all! Extra pumpkins
are just $6 each. Open Oct. 14-29, SaturdaySunday, 8am-6pm.
Queens County Farm
73-50 Little Neck Pkwy, Queens
40 min from Midtown
As the longest continually farmed site in New York State, Queens County Farm opens their pumpkin patch up again this October for families to enjoy. Pumpkin month at Queens County Farm is full of excitement with autumn in the air. While the pumpkin patch
is open primarily on weekends, feel free to come during the week to purchase pumpkins in the Farm Store. Open to the public Oct. 1 to Oct. 31, Monday to Friday; 12 pm to 4:30 pm, Saturday and Sunday; 10 am to 4:30 pm. General admission is free to the public, except during special events.
Hillview Farms
223 Meyersville Road, Gillette, NJ
50 min from Midtown
Pick your own pumpkins at Hillview Farms!
In October, you and your family can visit this family-owned and operated farm that has 53 acres of locally grown food. Hayrides are available every weekend in October! You can even visit their roadside market that has apples, pumpkins, vegetables, tomatoes, donuts, cider, and bakery items. Open 9 am to 6 pm (field closed to the public at 5 pm), daily.
One Hour to One Hour and a Half from Midtwown
Dr. Davies Farm
306 Route 304, Congers
1 hr 10 min from Midtown
Grab your wagon or wheelbarrow and come on down to the pumpkin patch at this farm—it’s been family run since 1891. You can even take hayride to the patch or go apple picking while you’re there, too. Hours: Daily, 10am-5pm.
Decker Farm
Historic Richmond Town
435 Richmond Hill Road, Staten Island (1hr 15 min)
Decker Farms features pumpkins of all shapes and sizes. Complete with photo-ops and fall decorations, you’re sure to experience a picture-perfect moment as you decide which pumpkin to take home. And don’t miss the Pumpkin Chucking, Snack Wagon, Living History Demonstrations, and more! Fall Hours are 11am-4pm.
Secor Farms
85 Airmont Ave., Mahwah, NJ
1 hr from Midtown
Make picture-perfect memories at Secor Farms’ storefront pumpkin patch. Public Hayrides begin September 16 to November 3 and cost $7.50. Don’t leave before browsing the farm’s market, full of fresh-pressed apple cider and homemade apple cider donuts. Open 9 am to 5:30 pm, daily.
Outhouse Orchards
139 Hardscrabble Road, North Salem, NY
1 hr 15 min from Midtown
Outhouse Orchards attracts plenty of families year after year — you can even bring your family dog! Choose from pumpkins, gourds and an assortment of Halloween decorations as you celebrate the fall season. Reservations are not required during the weekdays, but book a reservation if you are visiting the farm on the weekend. Pumpkins are weighed by the pound. General Admission is $18 on weekdays and $20 on weekends. To receive reduced pricing, visit their website and purchase your tickets online.
Riamede Farm
122 Oakdale Road, Chester, NJ
1 hr 20 min from Midtown
You might know Riamede Farms for iconic apple orchards, but they also have a CutYour-Own-Pumpkin Patch! Cut pumpkins right from the vine in this pumpkin patch at the beginning of the season. Riamede Farm recommends that you bring your own cutting shears as well. Make sure to also grab some delicious apples, donuts, and baked goods during your visit. Pumpkin and squash fields open in late September. Fall Pumpkin Days offers a General Admission ticket at $13.95 online or $17.95 at the gate. Children 2 and under enter for free. Tickets includes access to various activities but does not allow pets or emotional support animals at the farm. Open 9 am to 4:30 pm and to 6 pm on Thursdays.
Stuart’s Fruit Farm
62 Granite Springs Road, Granite Springs 1 hr 20 min from Midtown
Not just a fruit farm, Stuart’s Fruit Farm features the perfect pumpkin patch for families, and it’s family-operated! Enjoy the autumn air and the farm views as you survey the pumpkins and choose your favorite. You can also buy pre-picked pumpkins and gourds at the farm stand if you don’t have the time to venture into the pumpkin patch. Open 9 am to 6 pm, daily. Cash or check only.
Alstede Farms
1 Alstede Farms Lane, Chester, NJ
1 hr 20 min from Midtown
Head to Alstede Farms to pick the freshest pumpkins with your family! There are plenty of pumpkins in all shapes and sizes to
choose from: orange and white, munchkins, gourds, and assorted winter squash. Purchase a Pick-Your-Own ticket on their website prior to visiting, Corn Maze & Blooming Giants Sunflower Trail are included in the admission. Open 9 am to 6 pm, daily.
Wilkens Fruit & Fir Farm
1335 White Hill Road, Yorktown Heights, NY (1 hr 20 min from Midtown)
Pumpkin picking is anticipated to open on Sept. 30 at Wilkens Fruit & Fir Farm! Spend the day with your family in the patch as you search for your favorite pumpkin. Wilkens Fruit & Fir Farm is also very well known for its markets: the bakery, apple farm market, and the country market. Purchase tasty treats, decorations, and, of course, pumpkins! They’re open 10 am to 4:30 pm, Wednesday to Monday (closed on Tuesdays).
Apple Ridge Orchards
101 Jessup Road, Warwick, NY
1 hr 30 min from Midtown
Looking for an educational and interactive experience at the pumpkin patch? Check out Apple Ridge Orchards for some family fun with pumpkins beginning on Sept. 21! Take photos in front of the custom farm displays, such as an old tractor and portrait paintings. You can also taste sweet treats and pet the farm animals as you visit the farm. No reservations needed. Pumpkins cost $14 regardless of size and general admission is $3 which includes free parking and entrance to the farm. Admission and pick your own payments are cash only. Open to the public 9 am to 6 pm, Thursday to Sunday and holidays.
Lawrence Farms Orchards
306 Frozen Ridge Road, Newburgh, NY
1 hr 30 min from Midtown
Not too far of a drive from NYC, Lawrence Farms Orchards has a pumpkin patch with a wide selection for families to choose from. After you find your perfect pumpkin, browse the concession stand, which features apple cider donuts, pies, cookies, chicken tenders, paninis, hot dogs, roasted nuts, fries, pizza, nachos, ice cream, and more! Enjoy a morning out in the pumpkin patch and delectable lunch or snack afterward to celebrate the fall season. Arriving early is highly recommended if you’d like to gain entry into the farm. Pumpkin season starts in mid-September. Open 9 am to 4 pm. Admission is $7 per person Monday through Thursday and $10 per person Friday through
Sunday and holidays. Children under 2 years old are free. Season passes available.
Barton Orchards
63 Apple Tree Lane, Poughquag, NY
1 hr 30 min from Midtown
Beginning in late September and running through the end of October, Barton Orchards boasts a wonderful, family-friendly pumpkin patch. Barton Orchards started as an apple farm, but they have since expanded to include tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplants, peppers, squash, and, of course, pumpkins! There are plenty of other exciting activities to do and food to taste during your visit. Online ticketing is required, with tickets available one weekend at a time. Open Saturday and Sunday, 11 am to 6 pm. $10 minimum purchase required.
Fishkill Farms
9 Fishkill Farm Road, Hopewell Junction, NY 845-897-4377
1 hr 30 min from Midtown
The pumpkin patch has both edible and decorative pumpkins to choose from, as well as gourds, squash, corn stalks, and straw bales for your fall decor! Make sure to book your reservation to go pumpkin picking with the family at Fishkill Farms and don’t leave without tasting their freshly made donuts at the farm store! Pumpkin season starts in mid-September. The store also offers contactless pick-up and local delivery. Hours of operation change seasonally; check out their website for more details.
Over an Hour and a Half from Midtown
Apple Dave’s Orchards
82 4 Corners Road, Warwick, NY 1 hr 40 min from Midtown
Pick your own pumpkins at Apple Dave’s Orchards and choose your favorite pumpkins. While you are there, take a walk in the herb and flower gardens and enjoy lots of their delicious food. Browse the Country Farm Store on your way out, which has fresh apple cider donuts, pumpkins, jams, jellies, pure honey, and more. Open 9 am to 5 pm.
Bishop’s Orchards
1355 Boston Post Road, Guilford, CT 2 hrs from Midtown
Although Bishop’s Orchards may be a bit of a drive from NYC, it will surely be worth it once you’re making family memories in the pumpkin patch, which opens mid-September and runs through Halloween. These sphereshaped pumpkins are perfect for decoration
during Halloween and Thanksgiving, or just the fall season in general! You can also prepare the pumpkins for meals or snacks, such as pumpkin seeds or pumpkin soup. Along with the pumpkins, browse the mums, corn stalks, gourds, squash, Indian Corn, and various other activities for kids and families to enjoy. Grab a scoop (or three) of ice cream while you’re there from Bishop’s Orchards’ new Creamery Ice Cream stand. Open 10 am to 5 pm, daily.
Hurd’s Family Farm
2187 State Route 32 Modena, NY
1 hr 50 min from Midtown
There are pumpkins in all shapes and sizes at Hurd’s Family Farm starting in late September. Small pumpkins are $6, any size is $15, and large pumpkins are $25. Enjoy the giant slide, bounce pillow, coral playground, and entrance to the corn maze, which are all free with a Pick Your Own Purchase. Activity wristbands can be purchased for $25 (VIP) and $34 (Ultimate) in advance, giving access to activities like hayrides, a bounce house, duck racing, and so much more! In order to keep capacity limited, the PYO purchase is for 2 hours at the farm. Activities are open Fridays and Mondays, 10 am to 4 pm; Saturdays and Sundays, 11 am to 4 pm. “Pick Your Own” is open Fridays and Mondays, 10 am to 4 pm; Saturdays and Sundays, 9 am to 5 pm.Reservations open by 8am on the day for which they apply. You must make your reservation on the same day you plan to visit!
Dykeman Farm
31 Dykeman Lane Pawling, NY
1 hr 50 min from Midtown
This long-established farm has had pickyour-own-pumpkins since 1974! Pumpkin picking season will be starting Sept. 28 and will be open on weekends throughout October. With over 70 varieties to choose from, you are sure to find the perfect pumpkin to take home. There are also plenty of photo spots all around the pumpkin patch for you to take photos of your little ones as they pick pumpkins this year. They also have free hayrides! The farmstand is open 10 am to 5 pm, daily. Picking is open on September 28 on all October weekends, and Columbus Day.
Harbes Family Farm
715 Sound Ave, Mattituck, NY
631-482-7641
2 hrs from Midtown
With 8 acres of on-the-vine pumpkins, Harbes Family Farm has a huge selection of pumpkins just waiting for you to take home! Join them for the grand seasonal opening of the Barnyard Pumpkin patch during Harbes Annual Pumpkin Harvest where you can enjoy live music, concession stands, pig races, a 7-acre “u-pick” pumpkin patch, and more. There are many different varieties available, so you will have no shortage of options here. Enjoy their apple cider donuts and other options as you pick your pumpkins. Pumpkins are sold by the pound. Farmstand open 10 am to 6 pm, daily.
Hank’s PumpkinTown
240 Montauk Hwy, Water Mill, NY
2 hrs from Midtown
Opening September 7, the name says it best, as Hank’s PumpkinTown truly is a pumpkin town with pumpkins of all sizes! Other fall decorations available include gourds, corn stalks, straw bales, Indian Corn, mums, Montauk daisies, door hanging, and more. Make sure to check out the Pink Tractor, which features pink porcelain doll pumpkins! Hanks’ PumpkinTown donates a portion of the proceeds from each sale to Breast Cancer Research. For even more fun, there is the Maze Park for $22 weekend admission and $15 weekday admission which includes pedal cart race tracks, a giant corn maze, a dairy barn play structure, and a wide variety of games and activities to keep the whole family amazed. There is gem mining for an additional cost on weekends and an exciting wooden playground. The Market includes apple cider slushies, apple cider and pumpkin donuts, kettle corn, candy and caramel apples, corn dogs, chicken tenders, and many more treats. Open 9:30 am to 5:30 pm, daily.
Greetings from
Dive into programs inspired by our wild world from underwater canyons to tropical treetops. Make the most of your visit with curated events for all ages, from little ones to kids at heart, led by Wildlife Conservation Society Educators.
We e so Social Follow
Fall/Winter Road Trips For Families
Now that summer is in the rear view, our eyes are fixed firmly on the road ahead. Road trips, that is! The fall is arguably the busiest season, so a family vacation is probably not in the works just yet. But road trips are a fun way to get your vacay fix in the “off-season.” And while everyone thinks the best weather is in in the summer, the beauty of vibrant fall leaves or a snowstorm in the woods will make the perfect backdrop for your family’s next getaway. Check out some great road trip options below.
Discover Central Massachusetts
Start the day exploring New England Botanic Garden at Tower Hill in Boylston, MA with “Fairies Aglow” in October, then enjoy lunch in their charming café. Afterwards, drive around the reservoir to see the Old Stone Church, built in 1890, where fall foliage is a stunning backdrop for photos and a lovely stroll.
In the afternoon, journey through time at the Worcester Art Museum, whose 38,000 artworks include objects from ancient Antioch, European Old Masters, early American paintings, Japanese ukiyo-e prints, and more.
Craving a glass of local wine? Beautiful Agronomy Farm Vineyard in Oakham, MA offers flights, pours, and bottle sales, plus a delicious selection of local cheeses, crackers, nuts, spreads, chips, and chocolate in their tasting room.
Later, check in to the Publick House Historic Inn in Sturbridge. Nestled on acres of beautiful countryside, you’ll be greeted with warm pecan sweet rolls at the Inn’s famous Bake Shoppe. Choose a room in the Historic Inn, dating from 1771, or the Chamberlain House, a more recent addition.
Spend your second day at Old Sturbridge Village exploring the
200+ acres and 40 historical buildings of this recreated 1830s rural New England town. Be sure to stay for “Phantoms by Firelight” from 4:30-9:00pm on October weekends to enjoy spooky delights from carnival-esque performances and candy to storytelling by the bonfire. Or visit later in the season for “Christmas by Candlelight”, a unique look at the history of holiday traditions.
For information on any of these attractions, plus additional lodging options, restaurants, and more, visit discovercentralma.org.
There’s no other state quite like Rhode Island, and when you’re here, you can feel it. This fall, go from outdoor adventures to immersive history to delicious dining all in one unforgettable family trip! We invite you to stop by the Ocean State and get on our wavelength. VisitRhodeIsland.com
Frederick County, Maryland
Frederick County, Maryland provides a peaceful, relaxing and scenic getaway for families. History lovers will enjoy learning about Frederick’s part during the American Civil War, including battlefields, Monocacy National Battlefield and South Mountain State Battlefield. Families can take beautiful hikes through Chimney Rock in Catoctin Mountain Park or Cunningham Falls State Park.
Spend the day with animals at Catoctin Wildlife Preserve, or ride a themed train on Walkersville Southern Railroad. And with 20 nationally-branded hotels and camping sites nearby, it’s easy to book a stay.
For families traveling this fall, plan to visit fall festivals on local farms. Conquer the twists and turns of the corn maze, bounce to new heights on the jumping pillows, get hands-on petting and feeding the farm animals and pick out the perfect pumpkin.
Celebrate autumn by attending Colorfest in Thurmont, Maryland, one of the largest outdoor craft shows on the East Coast, on October 12-13. Explore amazing crafts, art, jewelry, clothing, and a variety of delicious food. Looking ahead, at the sailing
The Kartrite Resort & Indoor Waterpark
Experience a year-round escape in the heart of the scenic Catskills at the Kartrite Resort & Indoor Waterpark, where adventure and relaxation blend seamlessly. Imagine stepping into a vibrant oasis where the temperature is always a balmy 84 degrees, no matter the season. As home to New York’s largest indoor waterpark, The Kartrite offers an unparalleled aquatic playground. Dive into a world of exhilarating slides, surf the waves on the FlowRider, or take a leisurely float down the adventure river—there’s excitement for every age and thrill level.
But the fun doesn’t stop at the waterpark. The resort offers a wide array of activities designed to thrill and entertain. Test your aim with paintball, find your zen with goat yoga, or channel your inner warrior with ax throwing and archery. Indoors, the excitement continues with a state-of-the-art arcade, a challenging ropes course, and a classic bowling alley—perfect for family fun or friendly competition.
through the Winter Solstice event beginning November 23, see over 25 lighted boats on display in Carroll Creek Park in Downtown Frederick. Go to visitfrederick.org to learn more.
ture, refuel at one of our seven diverse bars and eateries. Whether you’re in the mood for a quick, casual bite or a sophisticated dining experience, our culinary options cater to every taste. From hand-crafted cocktails to gourmet dishes, you’ll find the perfect meal to satisfy your cravings.
For those who crave the great outdoors, the surrounding Catskills offer stunning trails perfect for hiking, where you can immerse yourself in nature and take in breathtaking mountain views. After a day of adven-
Whether you’re planning a family vacation, a romantic getaway, or a fun weekend with friends, The Kartrite Resort & Indoor Waterpark is your go-to destination for creating unforgettable memories. With so much to explore and enjoy, you’ll find every reason to book your stay today!
Lake George, Warren County
As the last leaves of foliage descend to the ground, there’s still plenty of opportunity to keep that autumn spirit bright at Lake George in Warren County.
Take in the views of the majestic scenery firsthand in the Lake George Area, whether it’s hiking the nearby Adirondack Mountains, biking through the open trails, finding the perfect fishing spot, or simply taking a scenic drive to experience the vibrant fall foliage. After the experience of the great outdoors, grab your lederhosen and enjoy authentic German music and cuisine at one of many Oktoberfest celebrations.
Are you a sports fan or are simply looking for a fun family outing? Witness the next generation of hockey superstars live and experience high-paced action with another electrifying season of Adirondack Thunder Hockey at the Cool Insuring Arena in downtown Glens Falls. The season runs from October through April.
Winter in the Lake George Area continues to be redefined as a season of activity and merriment, thanks in part to the bundles of events and recreational opportunities taking place. Ski and snowboard down premier mountain resorts, go ice fishing on top of the nearby frozen lakes, snowshoe on the local trails and preserves, and discover more reasons why the Lake George Area celebrates the cold.
Embrace the holidays at the annual Adirondack Holiday Festival, complete with Santa sightings, family games, and more. Explore a series of immersive installations at the Lake George Winter’s Dream and awaken your senses. During the month of February be sure to
Explore MetroWest Boston
From beer gardens to apple picking, state parks to beautiful art, fall is a great time for a weekend trip to MetroWest Boston! Start at Hopkinton State Park enjoying gorgeous fall foliage while kayaking on the lake or hiking, horseback riding, mountain biking, and more on the trails.
In the evening, catch a play, concert, or theatrical event—like October’s “The Haunt”—at Hopkinton Center for the Arts. Get a great night’s sleep at The VERVE, with its fun and funky pop art décor, or Aloft with their pool tables and lobby games.
In the morning, visit the Danforth Art Museum, a jewel box housing 3,500+ art pieces, including groundbreaking sculptures depicting the African and African American experience by Meta Vaux Warrick Fuller.
No visit is complete without stopping at legendary Jack’s Abby Craft Lagers, one of 17 breweries in MetroWest, to enjoy their Pumpkin Crop Lager with a schnitzel sandwich. Afterwards, spend a few hours in Level99’s 50+ mental and physical escape rooms and challenges.
The next day, tour the Wayside Inn. The oldest inn in America’s 100-acre property includes the Old Barn farm stand with antique farming tools, the historic Grist Mill, and beautiful grounds containing the Longfellow Memorial Garden, the Redstone Schoolhouse from “Mary Had a Little Lamb”, the Martha-Mary Chapel, and Josephine’s Pond for fishing. Stay for a delicious gourmet meal in their historic dining room.
attend the Brant Lake and Lake George Winter Carnivals where you can participate in various activities such as Outhouse Races, Firework Displays, the infamous Polar Plunge, and more.
Rake in the remainder of Fall Fun before sledding into a wonderland of Winter Events and Activities in the Lake George Area.
Spend the afternoon at the American Heritage Museum, where your tour starts in a WWI trench where a nurse explains what it was like on the Front while bombs explode above you and the floor shakes. This extraordinary museum features one-of-a-kind historic aircraft, tanks, and cars, immersive exhibits and living history events. Afterwards, wander the charming shops and boutiques of downtown Hudson.
For information on these attractions, plus additional lodging options, restaurants, and more, visit metrowestvisitors.org.
North Central Massachusetts
From fall foliage to harvest festivals, applepicking to glorious hikes, the cooler days of autumn are a great time to visit north central Massachusetts. Start your weekend trip at the beautiful Fruitlands Museum in Harvard, housing historical collections of Shaker material, Hudson River and New England landscape painting, folk portraits, and indigenous art and artifacts on a glorious 210-acre landscape with stunning views and miles of walking trails.
Check in to Great Wolf Lodge New England in Fitchburg in the afternoon for an adventure all its own. Let the kids play in the massive 84-degree indoor waterpark, exclusive to guests. The fun continues throughout the resort: battle a dragon while playing MagiQuest, test your skills at the Northern Lights Arcade, challenge the indoor ropes course and come together for nightly Story Time.
foliage by hiking to the mountain’s summit for a scenic 4-state view.
After dinner, head to Groton Hill Music Center for an amazing folk, jazz, classical or Broadway concert, then back to the Lodge for a great night’s sleep.
Start day two at Wachusett Mountain Ski Area or Wachusett Mountain State Reservation in Princeton, where there’s no shortage of seasonal festivals, from Oktoberfest to Apple Fest, or take in the stunning
Rhode Island
Just over 3 hours from Manhattan, Rhode Island welcomes NYC families every fall with a myriad of family-friendly things to do. The state is 37 miles wide and 48 miles long, so there’s much to explore in just one trip!
If your family loves animals, head over to the Roger Williams Park Zoo, home to over 100 rare and fascinating species from around the world. Kids love petting the armadillos and seeing New England’s only Komodo dragon.
Rhode Island boasts nearly 400 miles of beautiful shoreline, with beaches, playgrounds, bike paths, picnic areas, and tons of delicious food options. Spend an afternoon strolling through museums and stopping for a refreshing treat at an ice cream shop. The Providence Children’s Museum is a family favorite.
There are always exciting events happening in Rhode Island to plan your trip around. This fall’s lineup includes the Rogue Island Comedy Festival, Bowen’s Wharf Seafood Festival, Norman Bird Sanctuary's 50th Anniversary Harvest Fair, Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular, Scituate Art Festival, Autumnfest in Woonsocket,
In the afternoon, explore Davis Farmland in Sterling, the ultimate hands-on discovery farm for kids. Pet, cuddle, feed and groom the largest sanctuary of heritage farm animals in North America, or play pretend in Imagine Acres and Adventure Land. Everyone will love harvesting apples and pumpkins in the orchard.
For information on any of these attractions, other farms and orchards, plus additional lodging options, restaurants, and more, visit www.visitnorthcentral.com.
Newport Restaurant Week, and the Annual Newport Illuminated Boat Parade, to name a few. Go to VisitRhodeIsland.com to learn more.
Where the mountains wear blankets of silent,
warming winter wanderers. Where time seems to waiver between nostalgia and now. For generations, families and
Photo Credit: Kacey O’Brien | Historic photo courtesy of Chapman Museum
Rochester
Fall is one of the best times of the year to visit Rochester and the Finger Lakes! Rochester is home to over 75 experiences for families, all within an hour’s drive of the city. It’s easy to get to, and even easier to get around. Most of the town’s greatest offerings are no more than 15 minutes away from one another.
Enjoy stunning fall foliage views throughout the city and surrounding areas, including the Erie Canal and Genesee River. Experience family fun on the farm at one of many agritourism experiences in the area, including: Wickham Farms, Stokoe Farms and Long Acre Farms. Pick a pumpkin or apple, and experience fall harvest traditions, celebrations, corn mazes and farm activities at these local spots.
Key among these attractions is The Strong National Museum of Play -- the only museum in the world dedicated to the exploration of all things PLAY. The Strong is home to the largest collection of toys, dolls and games in the world, as well as the National Toy Hall of Fame and the World Video Game Hall of Fame. The Strong is a true international destination and is the largest year-round cultural attraction in upstate New York.
Another must-visit museum is the Genesee Country Village & Museum, a 19th-century village which is open year-round but features a special focus on seasonal events around Halloween and the Holidays. This includes the annual “A Walk in the Dark,” which features candlelit tours of the buildings complete with ghost stories.
As fall progresses and winter arrives, there are many indoor
Sullivan Catskills
The only thing better than sweater weather in the Northeast is enjoying it in New York’s Sullivan Catskills. Plan to embark on an adventure to this renowned vacationland, just 90 miles from New York City, for a haven full of vibrant small-town charm.
The countryside becomes a stunning kaleidoscope during fall foliage season. The colorful Sullivan Catskills Dove Trail amplifies leaf-peeping. It’s a collection of 75+ hand-painted Dove sculptures— in tribute to the Woodstock Music and Arts Festival held here in 1969. To guide you to each dove location, download the trail map at SullivanCatskills.com or find each dove’s location on the free Sullivan Catskills Go app. The first dove is at Bethel Woods Center for Arts, the site of the Woodstock festival, where you can plan a family day around Harvest Festival every Sunday through October 6. It’s a farmers’ and artists’ market featuring the region’s bounty, talent, and beauty. Other family-friendly activities include pumpkin picking at Cunningham Family Farms, apple picking at Majestic Farm, and Alpaca Walks at Buck Brook Alpacas.
As the trees settle into dormancy and the weather turns colder, Halloween and the holiday season come to life in the Sullivan Catskills. At Bethel Woods Center for the Arts, Peace, Love & Pumpkins, an enchanting walk-through Halloween experience and marketplace runs from October 11-26. Then, beginning November 29 and running through December 29, it’s the Peace, Love & Lights drivethrough holiday light show (with walk-only Mondays).
There is so much more to explore and experience— artisanal
experiences and activities - or ways to get outside! Enjoy skiing or winter walks at a Rochester park. Visit Seneca Park Zoo (open year-round), the RMSC Museum & Science Center, and the RMSC Planetarium.
Around the holidays, Roc Holiday Village brings the magic of the holiday season to downtown Rochester. The George Eastman Museum offers special holiday programs and events, including Sweet Creations Gingerbread House Display, a favorite for all ages. Enjoy holiday traditions like The Nutcracker performed by the Rochester City Ballet, Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra Holiday Pops, breakfasts with Santa, holiday shopping, and light displays just to name a few.
shopping, farmers’ markets, restaurants, art galleries, and fall festivals— throughout the charming small towns of Wurtsboro, Mountaindale, Liberty, Bethel, Jeffersonville, Livingston Manor, Callicoon, Roscoe, and others. With all there is to do here, you’ll be looking for a place to stay. The full-service resorts Villa Roma and the Kartrite Resort and Indoor Waterpark cater to family fun year-round. If self-catering appeals to your family’s needs, vacation rentals are plentiful, too. To book an autumn visit and plan your itinerary, visit SullivanCatskills.com.
Explore Western Mass
In a beautiful corner of classic New England, dotted with dozens of unique attractions and buzzing with cool college vibes, lies picturesque Western Mass, home to some of the most beautiful scenery in all of the northeast.
Long celebrated as a “triple threat” destination, Western Mass bursts with top attractions and provides easy access to versatile recreation for a superb dollar value. Must-see attractions include the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame, Yankee Candle Village, Six Flags New England, MGM Springfield and the Springfield Museum, and The Amazing World of Dr. Seuss Museum. Major events like the Big E, IRONMAN 70.3 Western Mass and Bright Nights at Forest Park, along with craft fairs, sporting events and the arts, are seasonal favorites.
Western Mass lets visitors mix history with family fun, pair cool cafes with the great outdoors, and savor equal parts outdoor adventure and funky antiques. Surprises can be found region-wide. Perfectly positioned where Interstates 90 and 91 meet, Western Mass is rightly regarded as the “Crossroads of New
England,” and New York City is less than three hours away. The region is also accessible by train and Peter Pan Bus Lines. Learn more at explorewesternmass.com.
Expl ore a trail. Scale a mo untain. Walk through living history. Take a stroll through Ulster County and discover the breathta king beauty, eclectic culture, an d endless adventure of New York’s Catskills.
Dave & Buster’s
From grown-ups to kids, everybody needs a place to let loose and have limitless fun. Dave & Buster’s has entered the chat. Pull up with the whole family and experience a sea of 100+ arcade games in D&B’s epic Midway. Whether you’re letting the kids win or showing them that you still got it, D&B has games for days, including virtual reality, racing games, bigname titles, arcade classics, and more!
One thing they don’t play about is food, so you know their menu is filled to the brim ith top tier, “leave-the-plate-clean” food. Whether you’re feeling snacky, fancy or something in between, D&B has all kinds of bites for all kinds of vibes.
While the kids mash buttons and stack up tickets, parents can kick back back with a cold one and watch the game on the big screen. From brews to a proper glass of cab, the bar stays stocked.
If you are looking for a place to host a fall birthday party, anniversary celebration, corporate happy hour, employee appreciation, or any other type of event, D&B’s professional planners will make recommendations for even the pickiest of palates. From groups of ten to two thousand, Dave &
Fall/Winter Experiences
By New york Family
The fall is a favorite for many people, welcoming families outdoors for autumnal celebrations in the cool, crisp air. It’s definitely a good time to enjoy being out and about with your family before the winter doldrums set in (it’s only October, we still have time). This means it’s time to enjoy all the seasonal offerings we are lucky to have in New York!
Whether you’re eager to go full Harvest mode with the family this season, like Halloween events, pumpkin-picking or simply taking advantage of all the unique spots to visit for a day of adventure, our autumn experiences are ready for you and your family this fall, so enjoy!
Buster’s is the perfect place to make unforgettable memories with your friends, family, youth groups, or co-workers. From Chef-crafted banquets to unlimited video game play, they have all the details covered.
BELLE DA COSTA GREENE
A LIBRARIAN’S LEGACY
OCTOBER
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Belle da Costa Greene: A Librarian’s Legacy is made possible by lead support from Agnes Gund. Major support is provided by the Ford Foundation; Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin M. Rosen; Katharine J. Rayner; Denise Littlefield Sobel; the Lucy Ricciardi Family Exhibition Fund; Desiree and Olivier Berggruen; Gregory Annenberg Weingarten, GRoW @ Annenberg; and by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities: Democracy demands wisdom. Assistance is provided by the Franklin Jasper Walls Lecture Fund, the Friends of Princeton University Library, Elizabeth A.R. and Ralph S. Brown, Jr., and the Cowles Charitable Trust.
Clarence H. White (1871–1925), Belle da Costa Greene, 1911. Biblioteca Berenson, I Tatti, The Harvard University Center for Italian Renaissance Studies.
INTER_ Art Experience
This fall, embark on an enchanting journey of self-discovery at INTER_, an immersive art experience where ancient wisdom meets techenabled art. Visitors of all ages are welcome to explore the labyrinth of otherworldly environments featuring two floors of interactive and generative exhibits.
INTER_ creates futuristic outposts that push the boundaries of art and selfdiscovery, helping humans find, foster, and share genuine joy and curiosity while losing themselves in new worlds. Partnering with artists, engineers, technologists, and visionaries from all over the Earth, INTER_ combines interdimensional wisdom with human creativity to encourage every selfexplorer to embrace the magic of art and find their power.
At INTER_, the opportunities are endless, and the experience is one-of-a-kind. Connect with the beauty, laughter, and power that lies within on your journey through INTER_.
INTER_ is located in SoHo, NYC at 415 Broadway. The experience is accessible for all abilities and ages. Tickets are on sale now at
interiam.co/tickets. Follow along on Instagram @inter__iam, where you’ll get a sneak peak at some of INTER_’s awe-inspiring imagery.
Belle da Costa Greene: A Librarian's Legacy at the Morgan Library and Museum
To mark the 2024 centennial of its life as a public institution, the Morgan Library & Museum will present a major exhibition devoted to the life and career of its inaugural director, Belle da Costa Greene. Widely recognized as an authority on illuminated manuscripts and deeply respected as a cultural heritage executive, Greene was one of the most prominent librarians in American history. She was the daughter of Richard T. Greener, the first Black graduate of Harvard College, and was at birth known by a different name: Belle Marion Greener. After her parents separated in the 1890s, her mother changed the family surname to Greene and the family began to pass as White in a racist and segregated America.
Greene is well known for the instrumental role she played in building the exceptional collection of rare books and manuscripts formed by American financier J. Pierpont Morgan, who hired her as his personal librarian in 1905. After Morgan’s death in 1913, Greene continued as the librarian of his son and heir, J.P. Morgan Jr., who would transform his father’s Library into a public institution in 1924. But her career as director of what was then known as the Pierpont Morgan Library — a leadership role she held for twenty-four years — is less well understood, as are aspects of her education, private collecting, and dense social and professional networks.
The exhibition will trace Greene’s storied life, from her roots in a predominantly Black community in Washington, D.C., to her distinguished career at the helm of one of the world’s great research librar-
ies. Through extraordinary objects — from medieval manuscripts and rare printed books to archival records and portraits — the exhibition will demonstrate the confidence and savvy Greene brought to her roles as librarian, scholar, curator, and cultural executive, and honor her enduring legacy. Go to.themorgan.org for more information.
Urban Air
Get ready for a whirlwind of excitement this fall at Urban Air Trampoline and Adventure Park in Brooklyn, the ultimate destination for indoor family fun catering to all ages! Swing by with the family and discover a massive indoor space for bouncing, climbing, playing, and a lot of fun. The indoor adventure park features Trampolines, a Warrior Course, Spin & Flip Zone Bumper Cars, Tubes Soft Play Playground, Virtual Reality, and more.
Urban Air is a go-to spot for open play and birthday parties every day of the week.
Open play walk-ins do not require reservations. Elevate your child’s fall birthday at Urban Air with an unforgettable birthday bash at Urban Air, famous for their exciting parties. For birthday party packages, call 347-732-5438 to learn more. Urban Air Brooklyn is located at 4422 2nd Ave in Brooklyn, just 5 blocks away from Industry City and Costco.
Westfield World Trade Center
Nestled in the heart of Lower Manhattan, Westfield World Trade Center is a vibrant destination, perfect for families seeking a blend of shopping, dining, and entertainment with the stunning backdrop of autumn in New York City. With over 85 shops and restaurants, there’s something for the entire family to enjoy. Conveniently connected to most subway lines and the PATH, Westfield World Trade Center offers easy access from all corners of the city, making it an ideal spot for a family day out. The center’s iconic architecture offers a unique backdrop for exploration, with its impressive design captivating visitors of all ages.
Westfield World Trade Center offers a wide range of events and celebrations throughout the fall and holiday season. Kick off the month of October with Taste of the Oculus, a weeklong celebration of the food and beverage offerings on campus. Winter Whirl, a roller rink on the Oculus Floor, returns at the end of November, offering a one-of-a-kind experience. Families planning their visit can enhance their experience by downloading the Westfield app in the app store. This handy tool allows visitors to plan their trip, ensuring
they make the most of all the exciting activities and amenities available. For more information and to start planning your visit, go to westfield.com/united-states/westfieldworldtradecenter.
Wildlife Conservation Society Fall family programs make this season one of the best times to visit a Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS) zoo or aquarium. Enjoy the crisp autumn air together and take a closer look at the wild world around us, all without leaving New York City. Early birds and night owls alike will find fun activities, from sensory-inclusive mornings at the zoo to sleepovers at the aquarium.
WCS Education offers exciting experiences for animal lovers of all ages, from infants to adults. Each curated program offers exclusive activities led by WCS Educators, like exhibit tours, STEM crafts, and meeting an animal up close. Some even coincide with the Bronx Zoo’s Boo at the Zoo and the New York Aquarium’s Ascarium celebration!
Bring your baby to the Queens Zoo for Stroller Safaris to see South America's spectacled bear cubs or a family of the world’s smallest deer. Learn what it takes to be a keeper at the Central Park Zoo with hands-on animal care weekend programs for kids, teens and adults. Bring your troop to see porcupines and Pallas's cats on the Prospect Park Zoo’s new scavenger hunts just for Girl Scouts.
WCS also offers camps when school is closed. The Queens Zoo
added new day camp themes and extra dates, while The Bronx Zoo and New York Aquarium make it easy to arrange dropoff and pickup by adding a grownups-only coworking space with activities during school break camp. Visit wcs.education/explore for more info.
on a journey the whole family will love at the world’s largest Native American Museum! Experience the amazing culture of the Pequot people and learn about their distinctive relationship with nature, their challenges and their inspiring resiliency. Our story
Changing Seasons with LaTonya Yvette
A beloved Brooklyn storyteller on turning the page and finally finding home
By Alex A Wilding
There’s a sweet moment toward the end of LaTonya Yvette’s new collection of essays, Stand in My Window: Meditations on Home and How We Make It, where she sends her friend, Claude, a picture of her freshly painted living room in Fort Greene. “You’re always so good at making a house feel like a home,” Claude writes back. “Your homes have a scent. Your clothes. Upstate too. And they all have the same feeling.”
When I read these words, I smiled. I could feel LaTonya’s hand in mine. I could smell her delicious perfume—notes of palo santo, vetiver—and I could hear her warm, unmistakable laugh. Like Claude, I have the privilege of calling LaTonya a close friend. I’ve spent many a night dancing with our kids in her colorful, expertly thrifted Brooklyn apartments over the years.
That feeling pervades all of the above spaces. It is a feeling of safety, of belonging, and of the search for joy no matter how bleak the season. It is felt in the pink bookshelf hauled from a street corner and given a second life, or in the frayed piece of her grandmother’s lace hung as a curtain. Quite simply, that feeling is LaTonya herself.
LaTonya Yvette may be a close friend of mine, but I was (and continue to be) a fangirl first. Like so many in-the-know New York moms, I came upon her heartfelt writing, effortless style, and that signature smile when she first burst onto the predominantly white lifestyle blog scene in 2012. Yes, her blog covered the ups and downs of urban motherhood—with light-strewn windows into her plant-filled homes (not to mention, her enviable closet edits!)—but LaTonya was never just another Mommy Blogger.
She was, and is, a writer growing in Brooklyn-—one who has generously shared a window into her life every step of the way.
In Stand in My Window, LaTonya writes of home, both in Fort Greene and upstate at The Mae House, the the 200-year-old house she fearlessly purchased on her own in 2021, lovingly restored, and opened up as a rest-asresidency space for BIPOC communities.
While you may have seen images of LaTonya’s dwellings over the years—whether on her blog or gorgeous Instagram feed, or in her debut book, 2019's Woman of Color -- in Stand in My Window, LaTonya weaves together the intimate stories behind these spaces, the strong Black women who came before her, and on whose shoulders she stands, and how she finally, painstakingly, found home.
What led you to share more of your heart on the page, and how did you grow as a writer in the process?
Stand in My Window is quite a large departure from Woman of Color to me… Woman of Color did what it was supposed to do – it allowed me to break into this nearly impossible publishing industry. [I sold] Woman of Color in 2017 when I was known as a lifestyle blogger. [Stand in My Window] was sold in 2020 during a time in which I had already grown as a writer, but also knew I was leaving the blogging space quite indefinitely, although there had been this new-found focus on Black people in the arts and online. So having the blog helped, as did having Woman of Color, but I had, in some ways, already departed – the work that wasn’t quite done inside of me, too. Overall, though, Stand in My Window was sold without a formal shape. And I needed some more experience and growing over the years of writing it…I think that is the heart that is picked up, as is the lack of digital veil.
There is strong reverence for lineage in Stand in My Window. Not just for your
actual family but for your literary and political heroes, too. What does community and belonging mean to you?
Yes, thank you! I grew up where respect for the matriarchal figures in my family was paramount. And to be honest, when I think of our family structure—generations down— by design and by flaws, there were mostly women. And the men that were around deeply respected and revered the women, too. That alone allows me to step back and see how intricately layered the history of these women are and were in our upbringing. And when I set out to be a writer and a community builder, the work of Jamaica Kincaid, Audre Lorde, Mariame Kaba, were voices that whispered to me in the night and in the morning as a mother does. As I do to my own children. Reading bell hooks throughout writing this book and before, reminded me that I could build community, but I had to choose it for myself. So, to make it, I had to accept it. I ALSO had to BE it. And quite literally, live by her ethos. Which strangely mirror some of my maternal family’s, even of what was never ever spoken. Maybe Stand in My Window will do that one day for someone else? I could only hope. But those people truly held me. I am only here because of them.
While Stand in My Window is about both the rediscovery of home and the meaning of home (in all forms), I was taken by the exploration of travel in the second half. Does travel change how you view home? And how do you find home when you travel?
The more of the world I see, the more I realize how much I don’t know. Writing the book allowed me to explore the various versions of my own home and what I understand them to be. Now I realize, in travel that I do not seek to understand, but to just witness the many ways folks experience and
understand home. Being able to move my body between space by choice as an adult is such a layered experience—there’s travel writing as work, traveling with my children to get away,
traveling to just let there be room to write-- it’s a privilege I am now aware of. And in another area, I think I am so used to the movement, that movement is part of how I create.
Stand in My Window is a book in two parts, Inhale and Exhale, and you talk throughout about the role of meditation and mindfulness in your life. Can you share what your practice looks like these days? Any tips, especially for busy parents, on how to carve the time and space?
Waking early to write (Toni Morrison taught me this in writing and in motherhood). I also heard from a therapist a long time ago, which is pretty embodied in the book, anything can be a form of meditation: sweeping the floor, washing the dishes, waiting in an aisle. I understand now that life will rarely slow down, so making time is a practice. As is anything worthwhile or useful.
One of my favorite chapters is “Lil Red,” named after your trusty toolbox, as it dives deep into your own “restoration” alongside that of The Mae House. As the kitchen is finally painted, and the native, black-eyedSusan flowers blossom, you write that you, too, were “coming into whatever new self stood on the other side of it all.” How have you grown since writing those words? What does the rest of 2024 and looking forward to 2025 look like for you?
To be honest, I wish I knew what 2024 looked like beyond the book. I am deep in getting comfortable with it being in YOUR hands. And maybe more as a sign of a present practice, that’s where I am. I can’t move further than [the release of Stand in My Window] on November 12th. Once that happens, maybe I’ll think to January and so on. I have more writing to do in the meantime, and I am sorting “my body in the shape of things.”
Lastly, for fun, beloved objects, or the memory of objects past, play a huge part in both your story and what makes a home: the clock, your mother’s shattered jaguar, or “the desk of your own” come to mind. Are there any new or salvaged objects in either your Brooklyn apartment or at The Mae House that mark this new chapter in your life?
You gave me a signed Carrie Mae Weems poster! It says, “Remember to dream.” I am hanging it up next week. That’s where I am…I am trying to remember to dream, and I am quite lucky to have people and things that remind me to do so.
Stand in My Window: Meditations on Home and How We Make It is out November 12th via Dial Press.
Photo by Yumi Matsuo
calendar
BY SHARA LEVINE
BROOKLYN
Wake Up & Dance with Suzi Shelton
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 9:30 – 11:30 am.
WHERE: ShapeShifter Lab, 837 Union St., Park Slope
AGES: 0-8
WHAT: This early morning concert features story time, music, and dancing that is sure to engage, inspire and uplift!
WANT TO GO?: $15 ages 12 months and older; $45 family pack of 4. shapeshifterplus.org
Maker Faire Coney Island
WHEN: Oct. 5-6, Saturday and Sunday, 11 am – 5 pm.
WHERE: Coney Island Amphitheater, 3052 W 21st St., Coney Island
AGES: All
WHAT: See amazing creations, talk to inventors and crafters, watch exciting demos and talks, and take awesome workshops!
WANT TO GO?: $30; $15 under 18 with an adult. coneyisland. makerfaire.com
Birthday Bash
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 11 am – 10 pm; Sunday, Oct. 6, 11 am – 5 pm.
WHAT: Celebrate the Museum’s 200th anniversary with a weekend of music and karaoke, dance and poetry, gallery tours and art-making, piñatas, and so much more.
WANT TO GO?: Free. (718) 638–5000, brooklynmuseum. org
Brooklyn Circus presented by ABCirque
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 11:30 am – 12:10 pm and 2:30 – 3:10 pm
WHAT: Come out for a day of interactive performances and hands-on workshops! Swing on silks, try your hand at juggling, test your balance, take a spin on a gigantic wheel, and more.
WANT TO GO?: $15; free for members. (718) 735–4400, brooklynkids.org
Family Fall Frolic
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 12, 10:30 am – 12 pm
WHERE: Brooklyn Botanic Garden, 1000 Washington Ave., Crown Heights
AGES: All
WHAT: Water plants, decorate a mini pumpkin, go on a scavenger hunt, dig in soil, use a cider press, play garden games, and more!
WANT TO GO?: $35 child-adult pair; $22 for each additional
adult or child in the group (up to 3 additional, 5 total). bbg.org
Panamanian Parade
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 12, 12 pm
WHERE: Parade begins at President St. and Classon Ave., Crown Heights
AGES: All
WHAT: Celebrate Panamanian culture and pride at the largest Panamanian Parade in the world outside of the Republic of Panama.
WANT TO GO?: Free. panamanianparade.org
The Rock and Roll Playhouse Plays Music of Rolling Stones + More
WHEN: Sunday, Oct. 13, 12 – 1 pm
WHERE: Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Wythe Ave., Williamsburg
AGES: 1-7
WHAT: Introduce your little ones to the music of the Stones
with games, movement, and stories.
WANT TO GO?: $16. brooklynbowl.com
New York Aquarium Ascarium
WHEN: Oct. 19-27, Saturdays and Sundays, 11 am – 4 pm
WHERE: New York Aquarium, 602 Surf Ave., Coney Island AGES: All
WHAT: Have some Halloween fun with marine-themed magic shows, Halloween crafts, a larger than life pumpkin display, Wildlife Theater shows, games, and more.
WANT TO GO?: $27.95-$32.95. nyaquarium.com
Court Street Spectacular
Street Fair
WHEN: Sunday, Oct. 27, 11 am – 6 pm
WHERE: Atlantic Ave. and Joralemon St., Brooklyn Heights
Brooklyn Circus presented by ABCirque performs at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum on October 5.
AGES: All
WHAT: Enjoy Brooklyn’s last big street festival of the year for great food, exciting kiddie rides, and local vendors.
WHAT: Ghouls and gals are invited to this all ages dance party with sounds from Herbert Holler.
WANT TO GO?: Free. brooklynbridgepark.org
MANHATTAN
2024 Korean Festival & Parade
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 10 am – 6 pm.
WHERE: West 38th St. between Broadway and 5th Ave., Koreatown
AGES: All
WHAT: Immerse yourself in Korean culture with a day filled with celebrations, delicious food, and lively performances showcasing Korean heritage and pride.
WANT TO GO?: Free. eventbrite.com
NYC Nigeria Independence Day Parade
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 12 – 3 pm
WHERE: Parade starts on East
38th St. and Madison Ave., Midtown
AGES: All
WHAT: Experience the vibrant culture and rich heritage of Nigeria at the largest celebration outside of Africa!
WANT TO GO?: Free. facebook.com
Princess and the Pea
WHEN: Oct. 19-Oct. 27, Saturdays and Sundays, 11 am –12 pm, Saturdays, 3 – 4 pm
WHERE: The New Victory Theater, 209 W 42nd St., Midtown
AGES: All
WHAT: This version of Hans Christian Andersen’s timeless tale is filled with thrilling acrobatics and physical comedy.
WANT TO GO?: $28. (646) 223–3010, newvictory.org
QUEENS
41st Annual Queens Agricultural Fair
WHEN: Oct. 5-6, Saturday and Sunday, 11 am – 6 pm.
WHERE: Queens County Farm Museum, 75-50 Little Neck Parkway, Glen Oaks
AGES: All
WHAT: Enjoy pie eating and corn husking contests, hayrides, carnival rides, midway games, live music and theatrical performances, local craft and food vendors and more.
WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $12 for ages 12 and older and $9 ages 3-11. (718) 347–3276, queensfarm.org
Electrify Expo
WHEN: Oct. 12-13, Saturday and Sunday, 10 am – 5 pm.
WHERE: Citi Field, 41 Seaver Way. Flushing
AGES: All
WHAT: Experience and drive a variety of electric vehicles, enjoy great food, music, a huge kids zone, and learn about all things electric.
WANT TO GO?: $20; free admission for ages 5 and younger. electrifyexpo.com
WHAT: Put on your favorite pajamas to learn about real life animals that remind us of spooky Halloween creatures and experience an up-close animal encounter.
WANT TO GO?: $30; $24 members. queenszoo.com
BRONX
Fall-O-Ween
WHEN: Tuesdays – Sundays, 10 am – 6 pm, through Oct. 27; Monday, Oct. 14, 10 am – 6 pm.
WHERE: New York Botanical Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd., Bronx Park
AGES: All
WHAT: The tricks and treats of the season come to life with plentiful pumpkins, gourds, and fall flowers.
WANT TO GO?: $4-$35. (718) 817–8700, nybg.org
Bronx Zoo Boo at the Zoo
WHEN: Saturdays and Sundays, 10 am – 5:30 pm, through Oct. 27; Monday, Oct. 14, 10 am – 5 pm.
WHERE: Bronx Zoo, 2300 Southern Boulevard, Bronx Park
AGES: All
WHAT: Dress in your Halloween best and enjoy magic and mind-reading, pumpkin carving demonstrations, costume parades, crafts, puppet shows, and more.
WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $28.75. bronxzoo.com
Disney’s Encanto: The Sing-Along Film Concert
WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 5, 8 pm
WHERE: Lehman Center for the Performing Arts, 250 Bedford Park Blvd. West, Jerome Park
AGES: All
WHAT: Experience the film Encanto while singing along with its chart-topping hits, performed by the live band, “Banda de la Casita”.
WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $34. (718) 960–8833, lehmancenter.org
Wake Up & Dance with Suzi Shelton at ShapeShifter Lab on October 5.
The Rock and Roll Playhouse plays Music of the Rolling Stones at Brooklyn Bowl on October 13.
How Music Saved My Son’s Life
By Jeannine Cintron
I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing my son perform on stage for the very first time. He was 13 and had recently taken up the guitar, playing for just a few short months. His music school often held their shows at the Stone Pony, a New Jersey venue made famous by The Boss himself, Bruce Springsteen. It was a far cry from the elementary school auditorium performances many parents are used to, and I prayed he wasn’t going to let his nerves get to him. He’s normally very shy and introverted, and I worried he was going to do whatever it took to blend into the background. So, as the lights dimmed, I held my breath, grabbed my phone and started recording.
Then, to my utmost surprise, the show kicked off with a guitar solo by my son. The spotlight was squarely on him as he perfectly strummed the opening notes to Everlong by the Foo Fighters on the electric guitar he had received as a birthday gift not before. The fact that he chose to play one of my favorite songs was not a coincidence, either.
I was beaming. You could practically hear me smiling. There is really no accurate way to describe the emotions coursing through my body as I watched my firstborn child, this whole person that I made, completely nail this guitar solo in front of a crowd of people. The waves of pride kept coming as the day wore on, gleefully watching him play several more songs. When I got home, I posted the video of the guitar solo on my social media and my heart continued to swell with pride from the supportive comments and reactions, until I thought it might actually burst. It was easily one of the best days of my life, and hopefully his too.
That day, it hit me that the guitar is not just a musical instrument to my son. It is his therapy, his lifeline, his weapon against dark and intrusive thoughts.
Before he found this hobby, he was not in a great place. His father and I divorced when he was in the sixth grade, smack dab in the middle of a pandemic, and it hit him hard. He was depressed, distracted in class, and seemed un-
happy almost all the time. His grades were falling and the teachers kept calling. I didn’t know what to tell them. He had few friends, if any, and his shyness and insecurities worsened.
Despite his introverted nature, I found a therapist for him and encouraged him to open up, hoping that he could talk his way through the pain with a professional. I’m a huge proponent for therapy and mental health care. I’ve been in therapy for six years and I’d be lost without it, so my hopes were high.
His therapist, a soft-spoken, youngish guy was able to connect with him – whenever they were talking about video games, that is. I suspect their conversations never really rose beyond surface level. Not that he was a bad therapist. I could tell that he saw my son for exactly who he was: a shy, sweet, funny, intelligent, and deeply misunderstood kid. He just couldn’t crack that dark shell he was hiding in. Eventually the therapist stopped taking our insurance and his sessions came to an end. My son was thrilled; I was worried. Never in a million years could I have imagined that an instrument would be the breakthrough that we needed.
We’re talking about a child who has hated almost every song I have ever played, who scoffed at other kids for their taste in popular music his entire life. When he was younger I never even considered putting him in a music class – the thought seemed ridiculous at the time. Instead, we tried karate, baseball, swimming, basketball, flag football. In retrospect, I should have also put him in art classes, but all boys love sports, right? Yikes, I know. He did really enjoy flag football, though, and it helped his confidence level immensely. Until it didn’t, anyway.
When he was a baby, his favorite show was called Jack’s Big Music Show. It was one of the only things that would stop him from crying through colic, teething and crankiness (and for that reason it is also one of my favorite shows of all time). Whenever it came on, he would happily switch his full focus to the three lively puppets and their garage band full of every instrument under the sun. I always found it ironic that he seemed to dislike music so much after the way he would light up when that show came on. But, as it turns out, there is a major difference between listening to music and making music, and when my son discovered this his entire world opened up.
My son is now 16 years old and has since taught himself to play the piano. We have an electric keyboard in the garage and when he is in there practicing, I feel like I’m in the lobby of a fancy hotel. I cannot believe this is the same child who used to beg me to drive in silence because the radio annoyed him so much. It turns out he simply isn’t a fan of the stuff everyone else is listening to. Eventually he found his sound, and I took him to his first concert last year to see a progressive band called Polyphia, whose songs are electric and mostly lyric-free –and by far his favorite to practice on the guitar.
I cannot express enough how badly I wish we had tried music sooner. I don’t know that it would have saved him from those dark times, but it definitely would have helped. Ever since he started playing, he’s gained a ton of confidence and purpose. His demeanor has shifted from sad and angry all the time to that of a typical teenage boy. While he still has his moments, the dark times are over. And if they ever return, at least he’s equipped to fight them off, one guitar string at a time.
