Helping your differently-abled child succeed in school
20 | Special Needs
Choosing a babysitter for a child with special needs
SToRieS & colum NS
4 | editor’s l etter
22 | Giving Back
Ways to help hurricane victims
26 | m om Stories
A single mom regrets introducing a narcissist to her kids
24 | Giving Back
Holiday toy drives and donation opportunities
24 | Parenting
Discussing dangers in the home with other parents
30 | teens
Exploring college alternatives with your high school senior Family F u N
| Holiday Fun Festive events for families 32 | c alendar Fun activities for families this month
Giving Thanks by Giving Back
It’s hard to believe the holiday season is upon us already. While December will be one filled with endless to-do lists and last-minute shopping, this month is more like the calm before the end-of-year storm.
As we gear up for everyone’s favorite daylong food marathon known as Thanksgiving, we are reminded of the things we should be grateful for in our lives. One of the best ways to express gratitude is by helping others in need, and there is no better time than the holiday season for doing just that. We’re sharing Holiday Toy Drives and Donation Opportunities (page 24) so you can help brighten the holiday for families who are less fortunate. And after a brutal hurricane season down south, many residents in Florida are displaced and in desperate need of supplies and donations, so we have Ways to Help Hurricane Victims (page 22).
Planning holidays and birthdays at the
same time is the definition of stressful. If your child has a birthday coming up, we’re sharing some of the best venues for hosting birthday parties in our area (page 12).
Our latest Special Needs Resource Guide is here (page 18), featuring tips for both at home and in the classroom.
Thankful for all of you!
Jeannine
Share your feedback and ideas about family life in New York! Email us at editorial@newyorkfamily.com and tag us at #newyorkfamily
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Meta’s Teen Accounts
Will the new rollout revolutionize online safety for kids?
BY THALIA FERNANDEZ
Last month, Meta launched Instagram Teen accounts, and we had the opportunity to speak with a member of the Meta team and get some insight into what these new accounts will bring to families. This latest rollout of teen accounts is the first of its kind and a new approach to the mounting concerns about the influence of social media on today’s teens. As teens are tackling loneliness and social media pressures, parents are left questioning how they can help, and Meta aims to provide that support. The question remains: will these accounts truly impact teen safety online?
Growing concerns about the impact of social media on children’s mental health have
prompted actions at both the state and federal levels. Last year, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy stressed the need for parents to monitor their children’s social media habits. In June, New York Governor Kathy Hochul passed two bills to make social media safer for kids. The federal government is also working on the Kids Online Safety Act to address issues such as bullying and harmful content. Parents nationwide are worried about the lack of online safety measures for children on social media platforms and are calling for these platforms to do something about it.
Meta, among several social media platforms, has faced criticism for not having adequate systems in place for teens. However, they are now the first to roll out protections.
This approach could shift the social media landscape and begin to ensure children’s safety, but it’s honestly too soon to tell. However, what we do know is what these new accounts offer parents, how this all started, and everything you need to know about Teen Accounts.
We had the opportunity to speak with Liza Crenshaw, a member of the Meta team, to understand what these accounts provide to parents and Meta’s goals with Teen Accounts.
What are some standout features that parents should know about?
Teen Accounts were designed specifically with parents’ concerns in mind. We talked to so many parents around the world about what their worries were when it came to their teens using social media. We heard that they have three big concerns: one is contact, who their teens are talking to; two is content, are teens looking at content that is too mature or sensitive, and three is time, is [a] teens’ time being well spent on the app; are they scrolling for too long, using it overnight, or
during school.
With those three big concerns in mind, we designed Teen Accounts’ protections to adjust those things. We will be turning teens’ [accounts] into private accounts automatically. We’ll also be sending reminders when teens have been on the app for 60 minutes. We’re turning on a feature called sleep mode, which mutes notifications overnight and sends auto-replies in DMS. [For example], if someone messages them [the reply will] say, “[this person] is in sleep mode right now; they’ll get back to you in the morning.”
We’re taking steps to limit who can message teens. Teens will only be able to be messaged by people that they follow or who they’re already connected to. That really cuts down on strangers who might be messaging teens and adults who aren’t really appropriate for teens to talk to. We’re also turning on our hidden words feature, which limits bullying or offensive comments in DMS. It’s really a full suite of protections that are built in and automatically on with Teen Accounts.
Will these new features be easy to navigate for parents?
Yes, so again, we did design this with parents in mind. We wanted to make sure that parents didn’t feel like they had another burden being added to their plate but that they could really have the confidence to know that their teens are able to use Instagram safely from the get-go. The idea with teen accounts is that teens are automatically placed into age-appropriate protections, and parents don’t even have to do anything.
However, if teens under 16 want to change any of the protections, they do have to get a parent’s permission to do so. Parents can be reassured that their teens can’t escape these protections unless they give their permission. But we also know that some parents want to be more involved in their day-to-day teens’ online lives, so we added additional features that parents could choose to use, including messaging insights; parents can see who their teens have been chatting with in the past week. They can’t actually read their teen’s DMS, but they can see who they’ve been talking to and whether the teen has any shared connections with those people.
Which is actually one of my favorite features because I heard from a lot of parents who think this is great because they can see if [for example] someone they know has been
“Particularly for younger teens, they see this as an opportunity to build trust with their parent and figure out a way to navigate social media together versus just having the parent have complete oversight and control.”
bullying their child in school sends [their teen] a message, then that’s an opportunity for the parent to say “hey I saw that you were chatting to [this person], I know you guys have had conflicts, what’s going on there?”
But it still lets teens have their own freedom and autonomy to send messages without feeling like their parents are peeking over their shoulders.
Today, kids have Finstas or Fake Instagram accounts where they lie about their age. How will these accounts work around that?
So, from the get-go, we knew that Teen Accounts wouldn’t work unless we were preventing teens from lying or getting around this. So we built a ton of different ways to prevent from lying. For instance, if a teen tries to change their age from under eighteen to over eighteen, for example, if they say, “I don’t want to be in a teen account, I’m just going to say I’m 25”, we will require them to verify their age either with an ID or with a video selfie that estimates their age on the back end.
We’re also building out what we call an age prediction model that uses thousands and thousands of signals, including the type of language that teens use, who they’re talking to, and how old their friends are, to actually really accurately estimate how old a teenager is. If we see that there’s a mismatch between the age the teens told us they are and the age our model predicts them to be, then we’ll place that person into protections automatically out of an abundance of caution.
We think about it as a multilayered approach because it’s really challenging to get
age right, so we’re going at it from a bunch of different angles.
These accounts are currently only available in specific locations but are expected to be introduced globally in 2025. Should we expect to see additional features added to these supervised accounts?
We might. Right now, we’re just really focused on getting this out and right to the tens of millions of teens that will get these changes. It’s a really fundamental change to teens’ experience on Instagram, and we want to get this right first and foremost.
We expect there might be some bumps along the way, but we want to iterate and make sure that we get people into these protections, and then we’ll figure out what’s next.
We’re interested to know what the feedback from teens has been like. How do they feel about the integration of Teen Accounts?
It’s actually really interesting because we had a hypothesis internally that teens would hate this and not really want to be placed into these protections.
But actually, what we heard and what we’ve been hearing since the rollout is that teens themselves also don’t really want to get unwanted contact in their DMS; they really don’t want to see [certain] content. So they’ve actually welcomed the changes to an extent, and I think particularly for younger teens, they see this as an opportunity to build trust with their parent and figure out a way to navigate social media together versus just having the parent have complete oversight and control.
It’s really a way to start conversations. Younger teens, in particular, [feel] they can establish some trust with their parents, they can have some boundaries in place, and gradually maybe the parent might relax some things, and give them a bit more freedom.
We feel like this is an opportunity for parents and teens to start to establish a twoway conversation in a way that still feels safe and age-appropriate, and again lets teens use Instagram for all of the good things like discovering new artists they want to follow, connecting with classmates, talking to friends and family. I think sometimes, people forget all of the good things that come from social media, so our goal with this is to preserve the good and minimize the bad.
For more information on Instagram Teen Accounts, head to about.instagram.com.
Local Holiday Fun
The holiday season is the perfect time for families to come together and celebrate with fun, festive events! From dazzling light displays to exciting local festivals, there are endless opportunities to create joyful memories. Whether you’re baking cookies, visiting a winter wonderland, or enjoying a holiday parade, these moments are what make the season magical. Here are some kidfriendly holiday events to attend with your family this season.
Otto Specht School Holiday Fair & Crafts Sale
Dec. 6, 2-8pm & Dec. 7, 10am-6pm Hilltop House
241 Hungry Hollow Rd., Chestnut Ridge, NY
845-352-5020
ottospechtschool.org/holiday-fair
The Otto Specht School and the Fellowship Community invite you to their annual Holiday Fair and Craft Sale. The fair will feature chil-
dren’s activities, puppet plays, live music, food, and the nostalgic charm of an old time holiday village – complete with chestnuts roasting on an open fire, fresh hot cider and more! For the first time in five years, the craft sale and music cafe will be held inside of the Fellowship Community’s beautiful Hilltop House.
Ramsey Farmers’ Market
2 West Main St. Ramsey, NJ
ramseyfarmersmarket.org
Go green and local; begin your holiday celebrations and shopping with fresh, local, and seasonal produce and products available every Sunday. If you are looking to add a little something extra for your friends and family who love fresh veggies and local fares, gift certificates are available at the Main Market table. For holiday decor you can find freshlymade, decorated wreaths through midDecember. The semi-annual Second Chance Toy Collection will be held Sunday, Nov. 10,
9am to 12pm. Drop off gently used plastic toys for donation.
Rockland Youth Dance Ensemble’s familyfriendly classic The Nutcracker returns to Rockland Community College for its 45th season. There will be special narrated performances for young guests. Group rates for scout troops and other organizations are available. For ticket information visit cur8.com/14601/project/126668.
Storybook Land
6415 Black Horse Pike, Egg Harbor Township, NJ storybookland.com
Each operating night at dusk Santa Claus will wave his magic wand and light up Storybook Land with over 1 millions lights for the Holiday Season. This South Jersey spectacle has been a family tradition for over 35 years. Along with being featured on ABC’s Great Christmas Light Fight, Storybook Land was honored as #10 in USA Today’s Top Ten Theme Park Holiday Events in 2023.
PROVIDING KID APPROVED DENTAL CARE!
Specializing in Dental Care for Children of All Ages
State of the Art Dental Care & Facility
24 Hour Emergency Service Available
Most Dental Insurances Accepted
Nitrous Oxide available for children when necessary
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5C Medical Park Drive, Pomona, NY 10970 (845) 414-9626
Marita Smith, DDS
RocklaND/BeRGeN ’S
4 BeST Birthday Party Places
Planning a birthday party for your child can be equal parts exciting and overwhelming. With so many options available, choosing the perfect venue can make all the difference in creating a memorable celebration. We’re sharing some of the best kids’ birthday party venues in your area, highlighting unique features, capacity, and themes that cater to a variety of interests and age groups.
With kid-friendly menus, stellar Power Card deals to play tons of arcade games, and a one-of-a-kind experience, what’s not to love?
Dave & Buster’s has everything you need for an unforgettable party. Birthday packages are available for groups of all sizes. Book online at your convenience, or work with one of D&B’s professional party planners to tailor your experience. Mention “Best Birthdays” to
get an extra $20 in game play for the guest of honor when booking a kid’s birthday package at any one of their 10 area locations.
Immersive Gamebox
Palisades Center
4494 Palisades Center Dr., West Nyack 201-565-3172
immersivegamebox.com/en-US/kids-birthdays Immersive Gamebox offers an interactive and unforgettable birthday party experience for all ages. With cutting-edge technology, guests can enjoy a variety of exciting games like Angry Birds, Shaun the Sheep, Squid Games, Ghostbusters, and The Floor is Lava, each filled with challenges and puzzles that encourage teamwork and fun. Private game rooms provide an exclusive atmosphere, ensuring your group enjoys the experience together. Customizable party packages include everything from dedicated event hosts to food and drink options, making it a stress-free celebration. Immersive Gamebox delivers unique, team-based gameplay that guarantees lasting birthday memories.
New City Bowling and Batting Cages
90 N. Main St, New City 845-634-4977
newcitybowlandbattingcages.com
Looking for a turnkey birthday party where kids will enjoy a fun, physical activity and they do all the work for you? New City Bowling and Batting Cages parties offer either one game (hour-anda-half party) or two games (two-hour party) including shoe rentals, pizza, chips, drinks and paper goods. They handle all food and drink setup and cleanup. Glow Bowling with laser lights available for Sunday parties. They also feature a full-service bar and snack bar as well as five outdoor batting cages. With weekly bowling specials, leagues for different ages and abilities, fundraisers and corporate events, they offer something for everyone! Check their website for party packages and rates.
Tumble-Bee Gymnastics
401 Market Street, Nanuet 845-623-2553
tumble-beegymnastics.com
info@tumblebeegymnastics.com
Tumble-Bee Gymnastics is a bright, colorful facility, perfect for any 1- to 12-year-old child’s birthday party. Exciting and energetic instructors will lead the party while the birthday child and their friends enjoy everything from age-appropriate obstacle courses on the balance beam, trampoline, floor, and bars, to jumping in the bounce house, and ending off with parachute games and songs. They will even get to meet the Tumble-Bee himself! All parties include electronic invitations, paper products and utensils for the children. The guest of honor will also receive a free gift and balloons. In addition to parties and weekly classes, Tumble-Bee also offers drop offs, open gyms, and special events.
Winter escape in the Lake GeorGe area
If you’re looking for a winter escape, check out the Lake George Area in the Adirondacks. Featuring three premier ski resorts – Gore, West, and Hickory - ‘Ski the 3’ should be on your winter list of must-dos! Gore Mountain, the largest ski resort in New York State, has seven mountains with a total of 14 lifts, 108 trails, and a 2537’ vertical. West Mountain is family-owned and operated with 25 trails for skiing and boarding, as well as a tubing park. Hickory Ski Center offers a vintage ski experience with a vertical drop of 1,200 feet and challenging and expert-level trails.
The Lake George Area is a host to many winter events, festivals, and carnivals. Every weekend during February, the Lake George Carnival features a chili cook-off, outhouse races, an ATV poker run, and the famous Lake George Polar Plunge. Another annual carnival is held at Brant Lake, where broomball tournaments, human foosball competitions, and hockey shoot-offs take place.
Enjoy the annual Ice Bars in and around Lake George as sculpture-like ice creations accompany local events, like the Adirondack Pub & Brewery’s Funky Ice Fest. Attendees can
frequent hosted ice bar parties at venues like The Gem, the Lagoon, and the Sagamore. If watching sports is more your speed, enjoy puck-passing, net-catching hockey at the Cool Insuring Arena. The Eastern Conference Hockey League and affiliate of the NHL’s New Jersey Devils, Adirondack Thunder, takes the ice to deliver hard-hitting thrills every game.
Dedicated to promoting “The Original
Vacation,” the goal of the Lake George Area is to promote travel and tourism to the over dozen towns and hamlets that make up Warren County, known as the “Southern Gateway to the Adirondacks.”
Learn more about Lake George at visitlakegeorge.com, on Facebook @ TheLakeGeorgeArea, or Instagram and TikTok @lakegeorgearea.
RochesteR , NY: A WiNteR WoNdeRl ANd foR fAmilies
For NYC families seeking a memorable winter getaway, Rochester, NY offers a perfect blend of snowy adventures, cozy experiences, and indoor fun—just a few hours away. When the city is draped in a blanket of snow, Rochester transforms into an idyllic winter wonderland, providing the ideal escape from the hustle and bustle.
Embrace the Outdoors
Families can immerse themselves in winter magic at Mendon Ponds Park, offering ice skating, sledding, and guided snowshoeing tours through serene, snowcovered landscapes. For a thrilling day out, head to Bristol Mountain for skiing and snowboarding with runs suitable for every skill level, or experience the exhilarating snow tubing park.
Step Back in Time
At the Genesee Country Village & Museum, families can explore the largest living history museum in New York State, where the winter months bring historical holiday celebrations, horse-drawn wagon rides, and 19th-century
winter traditions. It’s an interactive way for kids to learn about history while enjoying a charming winter atmosphere.
Indoor Escapes from the Cold Rochester’s renowned Strong National Museum of Play and Rochester Museum & Science Center keep kids entertained for hours. The George Eastman Museum offers a cozy respite to explore photography’s rich history in the restored mansion of Kodak founder, George Eastman.
Seasonal Fun
With 140+ annual festivals and events in Rochester, NY there is always something fun and exciting taking place and winter is no different. Don’t miss Roc Holiday Village with complimentary ice skating, arts and crafts for kids, local boutiques and vendors, and more!
With its mix of outdoor adventure, rich history, and family-friendly festivities, Rochester, NY offers the perfect winter escape, ensuring unforgettable memories for families of all ages. Learn more at visitrochester.com.
Come soar. Come smile. Come see what all the excitement is about. Rochester, NY is the perfect family getaway for unique and extraordinary adventures.
Did we mention the world’s largest collection of toys, dolls, and games? Pack your bags and hit the road for an unforgettable trip in a destination full of surprises. With fun for every family, every season of the year, playtime tends to last a little longer in our backyard. Learn more at visitrochester.com.
New York’s sullivaN Catskills
At just 90 miles from NYC, New York’s Sullivan Catskills is holiday-ready.
Start your visit by fueling up with Catskill-icious goodness. Restaurant Week is on through November 11. It’s an opportunity to sample farm-fresh 3-course lunches and dinners from $29.95-$44.95 at Blue Fox Motel, Cellaio, Kenoza Hall, Lotus, Roscoe Mountain Club, Seminary Hill Orchard & Cidery, Tavern on Main, The Arnold House, The DeBruce, The Heron Restaurant, The Homestead Restaurant+Lounge, and Yagsur’s Café at the Museum at Bethel Woods.
As you wander the charming small towns, watch for the hand-painted sculptures on the Sullivan Catskills Dove Trail, a tribute to the Woodstock Music and Arts Festival held here in 1969. To help guide you to each dove location, download the trail map at SullivanCatskills.com.
If you’d rather someone else prepare your family’s Thanksgiving meal, consider spending Thanksgiving at Kenoza Hall, Villa Roma, Callicoon Hills, The Bradstan at The Eldred Preserve, Chatwal Lodge, North Branch Inn, The Arnold House, or Roscoe
Mountain Club. Then, see Peace, Love & Lights at Bethel Woods starting November 29. It’s a 1.7-mile drive-thru holiday light show running through December 29.
Better yet, come the weekend before and bring your family to The Farmhouse Project’s Holiday Maker’s Market on
November 23 and 24 in Callicoon. It’s a modern interpretation of the traditional craft fair with artisans throughout the region. To book your trip, visit SullivanCatskills.com. You’ll also want to download the Sullivan Catskills Go App, a valuable tool to guide you to the fun.
Get in the holiday spirit in New York’s Sullivan Catskills.
Start your adventure at Peace, Love & Lights — a Bethel Woods drive-thru holiday light show through December 29. Kids love to walk with alpacas and pet our goats. And everyone loves a Catskill-icious hot cocoa or apple cider. Restaurant Week is October 28-November 10
Helping Your DifferentlyAbled Child Succeed
BY JACQUELINE NEBER
Good parent-teacher communication is crucial for any successful school year, but being on the same page becomes even more important when your child has a learning disability. There are a few steps–from understanding your rights to communicating on a regular basis with your child’s teacher–that can help ensure your child has the best year possible, arming you and your child with the knowledge to succeed in and out of the classroom.
Know your rights and speak up. Parents are entitled to receive information about special education from their schools and teachers—reading up and staying informed is the best way to advocate for your kid.
When attending Committee for Special
Education meetings, annual review meetings, or parent-teacher conferences, if you don’t understand something, ask questions.
Communicate with teachers frequently.
Kathy Devine and Emily Cole co-teach at an elementary school in Long Island. They say parents of students with special needs must be extra communicative with teachers. “We would like to know sooner when things might be happening at home, whether it’s medication changes or maybe something in the home life has changed,” Cole says.
When it comes to homework, “reach out to us as soon as possible so that we’re not waiting until the end of a trimester to know [kids are] struggling,” Devine says.
Another tip? Write a letter describing your child and his needs at the beginning of the year.
Understand Individualized Education Plan goals.
Equally important is understanding your child’s IEP goals—which can differ from her classroom goals.
This difference often confuses parents who see their student accomplishing goals on one end of the spectrum and not the other.
Involve your child.
Cassie Reilly, Transition Coordinator at a Long Island high school, suggests involving your kid in IEP and parent-teacher conferences. Being open with kids from the time of diagnosis helps them stand up for themselves and understand their learning disability does not make them inferior to others.
Be sensitive to difference.
Parents should understand their kids might be different at home than at school, Reilly adds. And, even more importantly, their kids might have an atypical path toward success. Communicating with teachers is key to understanding how your kid can progress in the best way.
Find The Perfect Toy
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•
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• Rewarding Toys (Lights,
• Adapted Plush
• Inclusive Toys & Games
Only a short drive from New York City and Philadelphia, Camp Lee Mar is nestled in the beautiful Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. Year after year, both staff and campers return from around the world to spend their summers at CLM.
If
How To Choose a Babysitter for a child with special needs
By Dana GreenBerG
My son has autism, so when I need to leave him with a babysitter, I am extremely picky about who that person is going to be. There are so many things that go through my head as a parent of a child with special needs. Who can I trust with him, especially since he has limited verbal skills? Will his babysitter understand his wants and needs? Will he be happy and engaged while I am gone? Over the years, I have come up with a system for choosing a babysitter that has worked well for us. This is how I do it.
Where to Find Babysitters
There are some very good places that you may not have thought of for finding sitters for kids with special needs.
I contact local special education schools and therapy centers, both of which are wonderful resources for this. Try calling them, and you will usually be put in touch with the right person to help you out, such as a social worker or psychologist. When you speak with that person, let them know exactly they type of person you are seeking as a babysitter. Let her know how old your child is and anything else you think may be important to share. You will find that many teachers, teaching assistants, and therapists are looking to earn extra money. The social worker or psychologist can circulate your contact information among the staff. One of the best reasons to get sitters from these places is that they are already fingerprinted and have had background checks done. Referrals from other parents with special needs children can also work as a great resource for finding people. I find that we parents are each other’s best sources of information. You can fully describe your child to other parent without feeling like you need to hold anything back. With that information, they will know if they have someone who would be a good fit.
Meet as Many Candidates as Possible
I like to meet as many potential sitters as I can. You may find that different people or personalities work better in different situations. I have some sitters that I prefer to use if they will be staying at home with my son and others that I prefer to use if they will be doing an outing with him. It is great to have choices, and not everyone may feel comfortable taking him out.
Another reason I like to meet a variety of people is more basic: We all need back-up. You just never know who will be free when you need someone. There have been times when I have gotten to my fourth call before getting a yes. I certainly was glad I had my list of trusted babysitters to call upon when that situation came up. The bigger the list you can compile, the better it will be in the long term. It is important to know that you have multiple great, trusted people to call upon.
Conducting an Initial Interview
After compiling my list of who I would like to meet, it is time to have initial interviews with them. The first time I meet a new person I prefer to do it alone, just me and them, without my son present. That’s because my son has very good receptive language and I do not like to talk about him in front of him. At these meetings, I like to tell the candidate all about
my son--his likes, his dislikes, his routines, what makes him happy, what bowl he likes for his snacks, that he likes ice cubes in his water, everything and anything that might be important to know while watching him.
I truly feel that I cannot give a sitter too much detailed information. I need to be his voice. We can also discuss how much I will pay. This is also the candidates’ opportunity to ask me anything that they want. Based on how this meeting goes, I will decide if I want to continue the process with each person I meet.
Check References
Now that I have done initial interviews, it is time to check references for those I am highly interested in hiring. It is a good idea to do this regardless of where someone’s full time job is. You may want to speak with someone else for whom they babysit (or babysat in the past) or maybe a supervisor or co-worker at their current job. Have your list of questions prepared before you make the calls.
You should feel free and comfortable to ask anything; after all, this is your child’s welfare we are talking about. Ask specific questions about the candidate’s interactions with children, how they’ve handled certain situations, and the like. I always like to ask about punctuality, too. This is the opportunity to get a feel for whether this person may be the right fit and if you want to
continue moving along with them.
Meeting My Child
Assuming the references check out, I next schedule a meeting between the potential new sitter and my child. The meeting takes place in my home. I will prepare my son the best I can, by telling him the person’s name and that they are coming over to see where he lives and what he likes to play with. Once they arrive I will make the introduction. I will show them around, pointing out where my son likes to hang out and where his favorite snacks are, for instance. I will go over how we do certain things, and our routines. I want all his babysitters to be comfortable handling anything that may arise while I am out.
This is another instance in which I have a list ready so I do not forget anything that may be important. Discussing all of these details in depth at this time will make it a lot easier the first time I go out and leave him with this person. I will not have to take the time then to go over everything from scratch, and instead we can just do a review.
This is also the chance to see how they
interact with him. I pay close attention and try to feel the vibe. Usually I can tell at this point if a particular candidate would be a good match for my son.
Joining Us for an Outing
For those sitters who might take my son out, I will invite them to go on an outing with us. This is where I will train them on how to be outside with him, which is a very different situation than just staying indoors. There is a lot to know: He likes to scare birds, he may not want to hold your hand, he will constantly ask you how many more blocks you’re going. How will the babysitter react to all of this--or whatever else may come up while outside? His safety must be the priority. This person will need to be on high alert the entire time. I need to feel 100% confident that this sitter is up to this task, and they need to be prepared for the unexpected with him. I will guide them through this outing and see how they feel, and again ask if they have any questions or concerns.
The Babysitter’s Commute
Where a sitter lives is important to me. Just
because you are identifying candidates via a school or center it does not necessarily mean that they live nearby. I need to know that all candidates can independently get to and from my apartment. I need to make sure they understand that they will need to leave enough time for the trip. If you have a younger child, you will not want to have to pack them up to pick up or take the sitter home, especially at night. I find that most sitters can come and go on their own, but this is something I like to confirm before hiring someone. It is always good to make sure you are on the same page about anything that you think is important.
This is my process, the steps I like to go through when choosing a sitter for my child who has special needs. Every question is important and no detail is too small to mention. Make your lists, and do whatever it takes to put your mind at ease. Who we leave our children with is one of the most important decisions we make as a parent. We need to feel comfortable and confident with our decisions so we can go out and have peace of mind.
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How to Help in Hurricane Aftermath
By Alex A lutter
Last month, Florida was pummelled by two catastrophic hurricanes, leaving mass destruction in their wake. Many Florida residents are displaced and, tragically, some hurt and even killed by the devastating storm. Many have absolutely nothing left, losing all their pocessions to the angry storms.
Many of us recall being in a similar seemingly-hopeless situation after Superstorm Sandy in 2012. The way many communities came together to heal in the days, weeks, and months following Sandy’s destruction was a testament to how generous and caring New Yorkers can be. Although we are hundreds of miles away, we can still help our friends in Florida who have been impacted by these unprecendented events. Any donation of any size will help in rebuilding communities that have lost so much.
Here are some ways you can aid in hurricane relief efforts.
American Red Cross redcross.org
The Red Cross has deployed hundreds of disaster workers to the grounds of affected areas from Hurricane Helene. Through their donation portal, you can donate any amount to the victims of Hurricane Helene. $10 is the minimum online donation. All donations are tax-deductible. Another way to donate through the American Cross is to text the word HELENE to 90999.
Salvation Army give.helpsalvationarmy.org
The Salvation Army is aiding in hurricane relief by providing emergency aid, food, drinks, emotional and spiritual care, and critical supplies to both survivors and rescue workers in all affected areas. 100% of your donation goes to disaster relief. On their donation portal, you can donate to both Hurricane Helene and Milton victims.
Americares my.americares.org
Americares helps get medical needs and
supplies to the victims of Hurricane Helene. You can make a one-time donation or monthly payment to help fund medical supplies and deliveries in affected areas.
Baby2Baby
baby2baby.org
Baby2Baby is a nonprofit organization that is helping families affected by hurricanes get essential supplies such as formula, diapers, blankets, and more.
Save the Children savethechildren.org
Save the Children is dedicated to helping and saving families in all emergency situations. They currently have an emergency fund open to help the families from Hurricane Milton who have been left with no power and destroyed homes.
Florida Disaster Relief
volunteerflorida.org/donatefdf
The Florida Disaster Relief has been created to directly support communities during and after emergencies. Donations will fund various organizations that specialize in the communities’ disaster relief.
Feeding Tampa Bay Disaster Relief
donate.feedingtampabay.org
Tampa Florida was hit by Hurricane Helene and is now projected to get hit even harder by Hurricane Milton. By donating to Feeding Tampa Bay’s disaster relief efforts, you will be helping communities that have been devastatingly affected. Feeding Tampa Bay
Disaster Relief allows you to donate a onetime gift or a monthly amount.
The North Carolina Disaster Relief Fund pay.payitgov.com/ncdonations
The North Carolina Disaster Relief Fund is accepting monetary donations for grants. These grants are currently being utilized to support nonprofit organizations that are directly serving affected communities.
Send Relief sendrelief.org
Send Relief is deploying teams to aid communities in the South affected by the hurricanes. Your donations will aid in the gathering of supplies such as meals, water, temporary roofing, flood recovery supplies, and more.
Samaritan’s Purse samaritanspurse.org
Samaritan’s Purse International has started a five-site response to Hurricane Helene. Donations will help thousands of volunteers be able to assist and help communities hit hard by Hurricane Helene.
The Humane Society of the United States secured.humanesociety.org
The Humane Society of the United States is dedicated to helping animals in emergency situations. Their team is operating mobile veterinary clinics to assist animals in need during this time as well as supplying essential supplies.
Holiday Toy Drives
And other local donation opportunities
by Westchester Family
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Celebrate the season of giving by donating gifts to Westchester children or families in need. Below, we are sharing more about the local holiday toy donations and give back opportunities in Westchester. Get your kids involved so you can truly celebrate what this season is really all about.
Have a Heart for the Holidays Drive
Families can donate toys, games, and gift cards to under-served Westchester kids. Additionally, children age 9 and younger will receive a developmentally appropriate toy. Families with children ages 10-18 will receive a gift card. For more information about the WJCS Have a Heart for the Holidays Gift Drive, contact Jennifer Kaplan, Director of Development, at jkaplan1@wjcs.com; 914761-0600 extension 2227.
Child Care Council of Westchester: Annual Toy Drive
Join the Child Care Council of Westchester for their annual toy drive. They are accepting new, unwrapped toys for children 12 years and under from now until December 13th. Some gift suggestions include: Rattles/Baby Toys, Clothes/Bibs, Games, Books, Dolls, Winter Attire, Electronic Games, or you can order something from their Amazon wishlist. 313 Central Park Avenue, Scarsdale, NY 10583.
43rd Annual Holiday Sharing Drive from The Junior League of Northern Westchester
Participate in the 43rd Annual Holiday Sharing Drive in support of nearly 100 families. The Junior League of Northern Westchester works with agencies to make the holiday season brighter for struggling families in our area. Recipients of the holiday gifts include single-parent families, senior citizens, homeless families, physically challenged individuals, families suffering deep financial duress, and those struggling with terminal illness. You can also sponsor a family or make a monetary donation. A receipt for tax purposes will be provided for all donations.
Donate Clothing for Children and Teens with Sharing Shelf
Donate new or gently used clothing in all sizes year-round, from newborn through adult XXL to The Sharing Shelf. Donations must be in clean, wearable condition. Donors are required to schedule an appointment to drop off donations. The Sharing Shelf also encourages donors to visit their Target registry to order items that are regularly updated. Additionally, they have on-site recycling bins for stained and damaged clothing and partner with Helpsy to ensure that used clothing items do not end up in a landfill. The Sharing Shelf, 47 Purdy Avenue, Port Chester, NY, 10573.
Annual Holiday Toy Drive
Families can participate in Open Door’s Annual Holiday Toy Drive to provide gifts to underserved families. They plan to provide over 5,000 new and unwrapped toys and gift cards to local newborns and kids (up to age 14). Families can also participate by shopping virtually YouGiveGoods/Open Door Toy Drive or via their Holiday Toy Drive Amazon Wish List. For additional information on supporting the drive, contact donna.jaxheimer@yougivegoods.com. Additionally, you can participate by mailing a check payable to Open Door Foundation to Elisabeth Gilbert, Open Door Foundation, 165 Main Street, Ossining, NY 10562.
Westchester County Toys for Tots
Families can find a massive list of drop-
off locations where you can leave a present to a child in need. Click here for the list of locations in Westchester. Additionally, families can donate funds online in support of the Marine Toys for Tots program.
Feeding Westchester
Give back this holiday season with Feeding Westchester. Feeding Westchester aims to combat hunger and provide necessities to all members of the community. A donation of $500 can provide 1,500 meals to children and families in Westchester County. Every dollar donated can provide two meals, offering crucial assistance to all. During the holiday season, families can create Holiday Help from Home bags filled with side dish staples and dessert treats. Drop-offs will be accepted at one of Feeding Westchester’s distribution centers. Feeding Westchester also has several opportunities to help year-round. For more information, visit feedingwestchester.org.
Westchester Winter Wonderland
Westchester’s Winter Wonderland is a 1.2-mile drive-thru experience featuring thousands of lights and various attractions such as angels of peace, dancing trees, glowing snowballs, a candy cane lane, a 100-foot light tunnel, and a 40-foot Christmas tree. The event’s proceeds directly benefit WPF and support the preservation and conservation of the 18,000 acres of parks, trails, and open spaces within the Westchester County Parks system; for more information, visit www.theWPF.org.
Yikes! I Dated a Narcissist
And made the mistake of introducing him to my kids
By Jeannine Cintron
Confession time: I broke the cardinal sin of single parenting. I introduced my children to a man I had been dating for a very short time, and everything went as horribly wrong as you might expect.
I was divorced for over four years upon meeting this man and my kids never met anyone I dated up to that point. I was strict about not letting men meet my children. They knew I dated, I talked about it in front of them, but I knew they were not interested in adding anyone new to their lives and I respected that. For context, their father started a relationship perhaps a little too soon after our divorce, when our children were still healing (or should I say reeling), and it didn’t do anyone any favors.
But then I met The Narcissist.
This man practically forced his way into my life at a speed of 100 miles per hour, and after meeting one emotionally unavailable person after another, I thought I finally found someone who I could see myself with. He would show up with flowers and gifts, take me to nice restaurants, send long texts with flowery language describing his feelings for me. Not to mention he fixed so many things around my house!
It was the single mom’s version of giving candy to a baby. And I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
In the beginning my daughter, 12, was as smitten as I was, highly receptive to the love bombing. He’d bring the kids boba tea and candy, showering them with any food or gifts they requested. It got to a point where I had to ask him to stop bringing so much candy because my daughter was literally getting sick from it.
My son, 16, wanted no part of this man from the get-go. He saw right through the love bombing and phony acts of generosity. I only wish I could be half as intuitive as he is. He would barely talk to him or really even look at him, staying in his room deliberately
for long stretches of time when he was over to avoid potential hallway run-ins. And while he accepted the gifts (he’s a teenager, after all), they certainly didn’t sway his negative feelings for his mom’s overzealous new boyfriend.
I would talk him up all day long, hoping it would make my son start to like him at least a tiny bit, and that it would give my daughter a deeper reason to like him than “because he buys me stuff.” It didn’t work, and my son probably fractured his eyeballs from all the eye rolling.
I knew what gaslighting was, I never felt it so intensely until he started doing it on the regular.
Looking back, I never even asked them if it was okay to let him stay over while they were home, something I feel quite badly about.
I knew they didn’t like it but I was planning a whole future with this man, so in my mind I thought I was just trying to get everyone used to being around each other. I know it seems completely insane to think I was going to marry a man I just met (where is Elsa when you need her?), but if you have ever dealt with a true narcissist, then you know how convincing they can be. Before him, I never even heard of things like future-faking and hoovering. And while
Thankfully, my “romance” with The Narcissist crashed and burned almost as quickly as it took off. Once he realized that I was not as easily manipulated as he initially anticipated, he tucked his sad little tail between his legs and went back to the woman I later learned he dumped the day after he asked me to be his girlfriend, the one he spent the majority of our relationship speaking horribly about. I know, I know, I was dodging red flags left and right. I am not proud of this.
At this point I am just hoping she is no longer with him because she has a daughter of her own, and I would hate for that little girl to grow up thinking it is acceptable to let yourself be treated that way. I also fear for the safety of anyone who gets that close to a potentially dangerous narcissist. I hope she has found the strength to leave him before he hurts her again.
Once, toward the very end of my relationship, I overheard The Narcissist’s 9-year-old son say to my daughter, “My daddy kisses lots of girls.” My heart snapped in half at that moment, not out of jealousy but
sadness for this poor child who had obviously been exposed to so many things that his young eyes should not have had to witness and that his young brain should not have had to comprehend. His son was so sweet but clearly confused and in pain from being raised by someone who I believe is truly evil to his core. It was devastating to see. The snap of my heart must have also snapped me back into reality when that sweet little boy said that, because I realized not long after that this was not at all the man I wanted my children around. This was not the healthy relationship I wanted to model for them.
It dawned on me then, FINALLY, just how sick the whole relationship had been from the very beginning, and how much damage I had already done and would only continue to do to my children and myself if I kept seeing him. It wasn’t easy to break away - the feelings were intense, which is right on par for a narcissist of this magnitude - but eventually I was able to extricate myself from this man’s demented grip completely.
I then immediately apologized to my children. They were just as much a victim
I was planning a whole future with this man, so in my mind I thought I was just trying to get everyone used to being around each other. I know it seems completely insane to think I was going to marry a man I just met, but if you have ever dealt with a true narcissist, then you know how convincing they can be.
of his as I was, and that is fully my fault. I felt terrible when I realized just how badly I had failed them as a parent by letting this monster into their lives without barely a second thought. I had:
– violated their safe space and caused them discomfort in their own home. They had to literally worry about bumping into a stranger on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Teenage me couldn’t even fathom it.
– showed them that my feelings were more important than theirs. I knew my son wasn’t happy when he was over, but I just kept telling myself “he’ll come around.”
new york Family partner
S– trusted a complete stranger with my children. Shame on me. Seriously.
I am not sharing this story in judgment of parents who linger in toxic situations, nor is it to judge those in happy, healthy relationships they chose to share with their own children and families earlier than most would. It’s merely a cautionary tale for my fellow single parents, a warning to fully vet anyone you decide to allow near your child. Sometimes your heart and your head are saying two very different things, but in the end the ONLY option is to do what is right for your children.
Smugglers’ Notch
mugglers’ Notch Resort has been a premier winter destination for over 50 years, offering a family-friendly atmosphere that keeps guests returning year after year. Nestled in Vermont’s stunning Green Mountains, Smugglers’ Notch Resort promises an unmatched winter wonderland experience. Spanning over 1,000 acres of snow-covered mountain terrain, with trails designed for all ability levels, and 78 trails across three majestic mountains with convenient mountainside lodging, adventure is always just steps away.
Smuggs’ award-winning Snow Sport University (SSU) is recognized as one of the best in the country. Expert instructors teach children as young as 3, ensuring a fun and effective learning experience. This winter, Smuggs is the ideal place for little ones to make their first tracks and develop a lifelong
love for the sport. Smuggs guarantees fun— if guests aren’t satisfied, the resort offers a no-questions-asked refund.
With gentle beginner slopes, Wonder Carpet surface lifts, and easy-to-navigate terrain parks, Smugglers’ Notch has everything to help children feel comfortable on skis. The resort’s dedicated beginner areas allow fami-
lies to explore together without the pressure of advanced skiers.
Beyond skiing, Smugglers’ Notch offers a full array of winter activities, from snow tubing and ice skating to snowcat rides and hot cocoa by the fire. It’s a winter wonderland where skiing and riding are just part of an unforgettable family experience.
When it’s time to warm up, guests can enjoy indoor pools, hot tubs, and FunZone 2.0, complete with an arcade, climbing wall, and inflatables for kids.
For those seeking the perfect family vacation with big mountain adventures and savings, Smugglers’ Notch offers winter packages, including ski-and-stay deals. Whether for a family reunion, couples’ retreat, or solo getaway, Smugglers’ Notch has the perfect package.
For guests that want to be at the mountain on opening take advantage of their Thanksgiving Package. Visit smuggs.com/ vacation-packages for more information.
“ OK to Ask” Opens Up the Conversion
Discussing dangers in the home between parents
BY DONNA DUARTE� LADD
As a parent, you may know that handling delicate situations is not always easy. For example, you may have to tell a good friend that their child may be bullying your child. Or you have to ask if the birthday party is nut-free as your child has a severe nut allergy. Or sometimes you want to know if there are drugs or firearms in a home your child is visiting, which could be a dealbreaker for some parents.
According to the CDC, in the US, unintentional firearms deaths among children are up. For children and adolescents aged 0–17 years, firearms are a leading injury method. This means these guns are accessible and not kept in safe lock devices and are loaded. Meredith Burns, Emily Onkey, Joey Wölffer, and Laney Crowell know this. As concerned mothers of gun violence who started a Moms Demand Action chapter, they realized through meetings and conversations that it was time to normalize having a conversation around safety and building trust with each other in a way that destigmatized the conversation. This is how the “OK to Ask” campaign was founded. As parents, we realize that we must be part of the change to avoid these avoidable tragedies. Brava to these mothers for taking such an important initiative.
We recently chatted with these fierce mothers to learn more about the campaign.
How did your campaign “OK to Ask” come about?
We are moms and friends who started a Moms Demand Action group last summer in Sag Harbor after watching so many acts of gun violence happen nationally without anything changing.
We were so encouraged by the enthusiasm and support from other moms who were having the same fears. A lot of us didn’t know
each other or know where people stood on guns, because sadly it has gotten so politicized, but what we knew we had in common was having made this adventurous decision to live out east full time in large part to give our kids a life in this beautiful place year-round. That bonded us all. We were motivated and felt a sense of obligation to create the most incredible community where there is a sentiment of raising our kids together and feeling responsible for one another.
Every month we’d meet and it was an incredible experience to sit around a table of 50+ women, all with different backgrounds, sharing in our extreme conviction to learn about gun violence prevention, policy, and advocacy from different local leaders and community organizers.
Ok to Ask grew from our natural conversations after these meetings. When the fact that the number one cause of death in school-age kids is guns really sunk in, we started to learn the impact we could have by sharing safe storage information so that no kid is in a home with an unsecured gun – we knew it was essential to launch this conversation in a big way to very simply, just make it Ok to Ask and talk about safe gun storage.
How does discussing tough topics like gun ownership build trust between parents?
We all lean on each other heavily living
here to help with our kids and planning play dates to help with logistics and carpooling. It’s part of our everyday life. Sometimes you know the people really well that are hosting your kids, sometimes you don’t. We wanted to normalize having a conversation around safety and building trust with each other in a way that totally destigmatized the conversation.
We wanted to remove any ounce of shame or embarrassment someone might have and just educate people that unsecured guns are a real hazzard and we have to talk about it in the same way we talk about allergies and pets, gummies, and anything else that might be harmful.
How does that parent’s peer pleasure influence the significance of us not asking hard questions?
I think as parents, we are learning more and more how much we need community, and especially as mothers, how much we need one another. And so of course there is pressure not to be the one in your group to make someone else uncomfortable or do something that ostracized you from a group you really need or want to be part of or accepted into. We started this campaign in a way to take any of that potential uneasiness away from it. We wanted to do the opposite and give parents a way to be part of something by asking the potentially
uncomfortable question – demonstrating that cracking open the conversation can actually be such a relief and something to be so proud of. A mother’s ferocity around protecting her kids is a force to be admired!
What safety steps should parents ask about concerning gun storage?
Most simplistically, you should ask and offer if you have firearms in the home, and if you do, are they secure. It looks like this: “Hi! We are so excited to have Bodhi over for a playdate. Does he have allergies? Does he need floaties in the pool? If so, please send him with them. We don’t have any firearms in the home. Let me know if there’s anything else I can answer!”
OR: “Hi! Thank you for hosting Lily today after school. She has a peanut allergy, so please make sure snacks are nut-free (I sent her home with extra, but she’ll want what Charlotte is having, I’m sure). She’s a great swimmer but might be timid around your dog. Do you have any firearms at home, and if so, can you let me know if they are secure? Also, we don’t let Lily watch any tablets
unsupervised!”
OR: “Hi! Hank can’t wait to have Dylan sleep over. I wanted to let you know we have firearms in the home since my husband is a police officer. They are secured, and our kids don’t know they exist. I’d love to chat and tell you more about that so you feel totally comfortable. Calling you in a few!”
The best resource is the website: Be Smart For Kids. Their acronym SMART is everything you need to know in an upshot.
• Secure all firearms in your home and car
• Model responsible behavior
• A sk about the presence of unsecured firearms in other homes
• Recognize the role of firearms in suicide
• Tell your peers to be SMART
Why is honest communication with other parents important?
When we avoid the hard questions, we avoid an opportunity to make authentic and honest connections, but most importantly in this case, if we can’t have an open conversation with someone about this or other things, then that tells you a lot about
the relationship and the ball is in your court to assess if it’s right for you. Because it’s never about making someone believe your right, or they are right, it’s about child safety. Period.
I think we all have found having an open and honest conversation about this has opened the door to some many wonderful, meaningful and insightful questions that have cultivated authentic friendships. We have a lot of women in the group who have guns in their homes, and a lot who don’t. We have a lot of women who feel staunchly opposed to that, and a lot who don’t. But the great thing is that each of us has a roadmap as to how to simply have the conversation without fear and without getting into a heated argument because OK to Ask is so non judgemental.
What are the “OK to Ask “ next steps?
We will activate the campaign this fall and partner with our district schools, boards, community organizations, and pediatricians to get Be SMART into every home with a child and normalize the conversation around securing firearms.
Exploring College Alternatives with Your High School Senior
BY THALIA FERNANDEZ
Senior year is a significant milestone for any high school student. It’s a time when they start preparing for their future and considering what is the right fit for them. While the traditional route is heading to college, it’s a path that only some want to take.
If you’ve got a teen who’s confused, overwhelmed, and not sure about college, it might be time to start discussing alternatives, and there are a lot. From trade schools to gap years, there are plenty of options, and here’s how you can start having that conversation today.
Where to Start: Their Interests
Parents play an essential role in helping their children navigate the many career options available today. A great way to start is by discussing your child’s interests and reassuring them that they’re not alone in this journey.
Questions you can ask to get the conversation started:
• What are your favorite things to do in your free time?
• Are there any subjects in school that you like more than others?
• When you think about your future, is there anything you feel potentially excited about?
• Is there something you think might be out of reach?
Presenting your kids with these questions will give them space to reflect on their passions and open up the conversation. Opening up the conversation will also help to narrow down the potential college alternatives that can be explored.
College Alternatives
Today, there are several “non-traditional” options for kids to consider. Below are just a few.
Trade Schools : Trade schools provide hands-on training for specific careers. While trade schools are not tuition-free, they are
generally more affordable than traditional four-year colleges. Trade schools are all about focusing on the specific career you’re interested in without signing up for courses that don’t align with your major. Classes are generally smaller and are all focused on your career of choice. It’s also one of the best ways to land a job quickly. There are plenty of job options for graduates who have studied in trade and vocational schools. Some career options for these schools are culinary arts,
the automobile industry, cosmetics, dental, construction, HVAC, animal care, and more.
Community College : Community College is a great alternative to your standard four-year college or university. It’s a popular option for many reasons. Students can walk away with a degree; it’s a way to explore whether or not college is a great fit and can serve as a transition from high school to university. Community colleges often offer more flexible schedules, lower tuition costs,
and smaller class sizes, making the experience feel personalized and less overwhelming than the traditional university route.
Apprenticeships : Apprenticeships are paid programs that combine classroom instruction with on-the-job training and direct supervision to prepare students for their careers. Apprenticeships are great college alternatives that are often overlooked. Some of the benefits are getting paid while learning, gaining skills from a mentor, obtaining credentials, receiving mentorship, degree potential, and avoiding student debt. Apprenticeship programs are offered by community colleges, technical training schools, and employers. Families can also search for current apprenticeship opportunities by heading to apprenticeship. gov.
Military or Navy : Joining the military or navy is another common alternative for teens not interested in attending a university. While joining the military is a huge commitment, there are pros to choosing to serve. Joining the military can mean exploring various skills for free, getting paid to work, and, for
some, getting the opportunity to travel the world. This can be an alternative for teens who have shown interest in serving.
Coding Boot Camp Programs : Coding boot camp programs have recently gained a lot of popularity because of the potential earnings that come from working in the field of software engineering or other technical fields. Coding boot camps can range from six to twenty-eight weeks and are known for being intense. Those who choose to sign up for coding boot camps gain a lot of knowledge in a short amount of time. These programs also generally provide their students with job opportunities at the end.
Gap Year/Working : Sometimes, one of the best options for teens who may be confused about the future is allowing them to explore the real world and head straight to work. A gap year could be what your teen needs. Gap years are a way to explore the real world while also having support from parents along the way. Working full-time will provide hands-on experience, teach kids the value of money, and can even land them in a career they would have never thought of.
Sometimes, landing an entry-level job can mean falling into the career meant for you, which can happen during a gap year.
These are just a few alternatives to college that can help ease your teens confusion and offer some clarity on the many options that exist out there today. The traditional college route doesn’t have to be for everyone, and it’s important that teens know that, especially at a time when it’s all they’re told to focus on.
The Ongoing Conversation
The conversation doesn’t end with providing alternatives or asking a couple of questions; it’s probably going to be something you actively work through throughout the year. A big part of their confusion can stem from not fully knowing what the real world has to offer and what life as an adult truly looks like.
Some of the best things parents can offer are support, understanding, and knowledge of what life after high school looks like. Keep the conversation going and acknowledge that this can be a confusing time for anyone, but eventually, you figure out what’s best for you.
calendar
by shara levine
r ockland
Bear mountain ice Rink
WHe N: Nov. 2-March 2, Fridays and Saturdays, 10 am – 9:30 pm, Sundays, 10 am – 7:30 pm.
WHat: Lace up and bundle up for some cool winter fun on the ice.
WaNt to Go?: $5; $10 skate rental. bearmountainicerink.org
children & Families:
Woven canopy Sculpture
WHe N: Sunday, Nov. 10, 12 – 3 pm
WHe Re : Storm King Art Center, 1 Museum Road, New Windsor
aGeS: All
WHat: Weave colorful lines of string into a large canopy sculpture and observe how shadows and shapes change throughout the day.
WaNt to Go?: $18-$28. (845) 534–3115, stormking.org
Rizzo’s Wildlife Show
WHe N: Sunday, Nov. 10, 3 – 4 pm
WHe Re : Nanuet Public Library, 149 Church St., Nanuet
aGeS: 3 and older
WHat: Interact with some scaly pals and learn about members of the reptile family.
WaNt to Go?: Free. (845) 623–4281, nanuetpubliclibrary. org
veterans Day commemoration
WHe N: Monday, Nov. 11, 11 am – 1 pm
WHe Re : Suffern Village Hall, 61 Washington Ave., Suffern
aGeS: All
WHat: Honor local heroes at this annual commemoration.
WaNt to Go?: Free. suffernny. gov
Diwali- Festival of lights
WHe N: Tuesday, Nov. 12, 6 – 7 pm
WHe Re : The West Nyack Free
Library, 65 Strawtown Road, West Nyack
aGeS: All
WHat: Celebrate the Festival of Lights making Rangolis, painting Diyas, and dancing. Henna painting for the children will be provided. P.S. Please wear clothes you can soil. Advanced registration required.
WaNt to Go?: Free. (845) 358–6081, westnyacklibrary.org
traveling Holiday makers market
WHe N: Nov. 16-17, Saturday and Sunday, 11 am – 6 pm.
WHe Re : Palisades Center, 1000 Palisades Center Drive, West Nyack
aGeS: All
catch a charlie brown christmas: Live on stage at the Mayo Performing a rts center in Morristown on november 29.
WHat: Discover some amazing, quality, home-made gift items from 25+ craft and small foods vendors for you and your loved ones.
WaNt to Go?: Free admission. (845) 348–1000, palisadescenter.com
Holiday Bricktacular
WHe N: Nov. 16-Jan. 4, see website for complete schedule
WHe Re : LEGOLAND New York Resort, One Legoland Blvd., Goshen
aGeS: All
WHat: Celebrate the Holidays with seasonal fun featuring the new LEGO character, Elf.
WaNt to Go?: Tickets start at $69. (845) 410–0290, legoland. com
Friendsgiving with Bluey & Friends
WHe N: Sunday, Nov. 17, 11 am –1 pm & 2 – 4 pm.
WHe Re : Clover Stadium, 1 Palisades Credit Union Park Dr., Pomona
aGeS: All
WHat: Dine with the family while hanging out with Bluey and BoulderBird!
WaNt to Go?: $30; $20 child. nyboulders.com
Friendsgiving at the village Branch
WHe N: Saturday, Nov. 23, 1:30 – 4:30 pm
WHe Re : Haverstraw King’s Daughters Public Library Village Branch, 85 Main St., Haverstraw
aGeS: 5 – 12
WHat: Celebrate Thanksgiving Peanuts style when you craft, share in the “traditional” Snoopy feast of jellybeans, popcorn, pretzels, and toast, and watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”
WaNt to Go?: Free. (845) 429–3445, haverstrawlibrary. org
Breakfast with Santa
WHe N: Nov. 30-Dec. 22, Saturdays and Sundays, 9 am and 1 pm
WHe Re : Kruckers, 81 Call
Hollow Road, Pomona
aGeS: All
WHat: Enjoy a scrumptious meal while Santa listens to your Christmas wishes.
WaNt to Go?: $40; $20 ages 3-12; free for children younger than 3. (845) 354–9832, kruckers.com
b ergen
Spirits of the Past: a Family Día de los muertos celebration
WHe Re : Westfield Garden State Plaza, One Garden State Plaza, Paramus
aGeS: All
WHat: Discover the rich history and meaning behind this holiday with costumes, painted faces, and energetic dances, all accompanied by the joyful sounds of a traditional mariachi band.
WaNt to Go?: Free. westfield. com
community Day: celebrating indigenous art & culture
WHe N: Saturday, Nov. 9, 12 – 5 pm
WHe Re : The Newark Museum of Art, 49 Washington St., Newark
aGeS: All
WHat: Spend the day exploring the rich heritage of the First Nations through dance, drums, hands-on activities, and more.
WaNt to Go?: Free. (973) 596–6550, newarkmuseumart. org
Santa Photo experience
WHe N: Nov. 15-Dec. 24, see website for complete schedule
WHe Re : The Shops at Riverside, 390 Hackensack Ave., Hackensack
aGeS: All
WHat: Get ready to share your wish list with Santa and take memorable photos with the man in red.
WaNt to Go?: Packages start at $39.99. (201) 489–2212, simon.com
the illusionists: magic of the Holidays
WHe N: Sunday, Nov. 17, 7 pm
WHe Re : Bergen Performing Arts Center, 30 North Van Brunt St., Englewood
aGeS: All
WHat: This mind-blowing showcase features jawdropping talents of the most
LegoL and new York resort’s annual holiday bricktacular kicks off on november 16.
help create a Woven canopy s culpture at storm king a rt center on november 10.
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incredible illusionists on earth.
WaNt to Go?: $49-$105. (201) 227–1030, bergenpac.org
WHe Re : Demarest Farms, 244 Wierimus Road, Hillsdale
aGeS: All
WHat: Go on a guided tour through 32 acres of brilliant holiday light displays, warm up by the fire pit, take pictures with Santa, and more.
WaNt to Go?: $35 per car. orchardoflights.com
Greenberg’s Great train & toy Show
WHe N: Nov. 23-24, Saturday and Sunday, 10 am – 4 pm.
WHe Re : New Jersey Expo Center, 97 Sunfield Ave., Edison
aGeS: All
WHat: Immerse yourself in the fascinating world of miniature railroading with hundreds of tables of trains, huge operating exhibits, activities for kids, free seminars and more.
WaNt to Go?: $11 Saturday; $10 Sunday; $12 in person either day; free for children 11 and younger. trainshow.com
tough turkey in the Big city
WHe N: Sunday, Nov. 24, 3 –4:30 pm
WHe Re : Kaplen JCC, 411 East Clinton Ave., Tenafly
aGeS: All
WHat: What happens to a
turkey who thinks the Big City is for the birds? Find out at the concert, as Tom the Turkey takes us on a grand adventure.
WaNt to Go?: $20; $16 members. (201) 569–7900, jccotp.org
Sesame Street live! Say Hello
WHe N: Nov. 24, 2pm & 6pm.
WHe Re : Bergen Performing Arts Center, 30 North Van Brunt St., Englewood
aGeS: All
WHat: Sing, dance, and play alongside your favorite furry friends, all while you follow Elmo’s puppy, Tango, in a fun game of hide & seek.
WaNt to Go?: $29-$69. (201) 227–1030, bergenpac.org
a charlie Brown christmas: live on Stage
WHe N: Friday, Nov. 29, 2 pm & 5 pm.
WHe Re : Mayo Performing Arts Center, 100 South St., Morristown
aGeS: All
WHat: Everyone’s favorite TV holiday classic comes to life onstage as Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, and the rest of the Peanuts characters uncover the true meaning of Christmas. WANT TO GO?: $29-$69. (973) 539–8008, mayoarts.org
Winter Wonderlights annual Holiday light Show Drive thru
WHe N: Nov. 29-Jan. 5, Daily, 5:30pm.
WHe Re : 655 Cranbury Road, East Brunswick
aGeS: All
WHat: Celebrate the season’s wonderful holidays at this annual holiday light show drivethru featuring over 1.5 million lights animated to some of your favorite holiday tunes.
WaNt to Go?: $30-$40. winterwonderlightshows.com
nyc
Big apple circus: Hometown Playground
WHe N: Nov. 8-Jan. 5, see website for complete schedule
WHe Re : Damrosch Park at Lincoln Center, Amsterdam Ave. & W 62nd St., Upper West Side
aGeS: 5 and up
WHat: This all-new show celebrates the magic and excitement of the city that never sleeps with soaring acrobats, jaw-dropping stunts, comedic mischief, and the cutest performing dogs ever.
WaNt to Go?: Tickets start at $44. bigapplecircus.com
98th macy’s thanksgiving Day Parade
WHe N: Thursday, Nov. 28, 8:30 am – 12 pm
WHe Re : Parade will pass
Macy’s Herald Square, 151 W 34th St., Herald Square
aGeS: All
WHat: Giant balloons, fabulous floats, exciting entertainers & more are joining this all-star celebration of Thanksgiving!
WaNt to Go?: Free. macys. com
Holiday train Show
WHe N: Tuesdays – Sundays, 10 am – 6 pm through Jan. 20
WHe Re : New York Botanical Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd., Fordham
aGeS: All
WHat: Enter a winter wonderland featuring model locomotives and trolleys traveling through a mini city of familiar local architecture.
WHe Re : Bronx Zoo, 2300 Southern Boulevard, Bronx
aGeS: All
WHat: This immersive, walkthrough experience brings majestic animals and wild places to life via millions of lights and hundreds of lanterns spread across seven different trails.
WaNt to Go?: Tickets start at $26.95. bronxzoo.com
t he newark Museum of a rt host a community day for celebrating indigenous a rt & culture on november 9.
t he illusionists: Magic of the holidays visits b ergen Performing a rts center on november 17.
There’s no other state quite like Rhode Island, and when you’re here, you can feel it. This fall, go from outdoor adventures to immersive history to delicious dining all in one unforgettable family trip! We invite you to stop by the Ocean State and get on our wavelength. VisitRhodeIsland.com
