Cortez project2

How to Guide:

‘ Psychic’ Detective Edition Based on Scary Sherrie from Psych Narrated and illustrated by Sarah Cortez

1

Never leave a crime scene screaming.

Ghost:

Get out! Ack-cn-aib!

Ack-en-aib! Ack-en-aib!

Gus & Shawn: Ahhhhhhh!

Shawn:

Get in the car!

We’re going to die!

Gus:

Make it open! Make the door open!

Shawn:

I’m trying!

Gus:

2

Make the door open! Shawn!

Always take your cases seriously.

Gus:

Okay make all your little jokes, but I know who was right behind me all the way to the car.

Shawn: I had no choice.

You were my ride home.

Gus:

Shawn, you were screaming, too.

Shawn: Yes, I was screaming, “Gus, stop!

Let’s be brave!”

3

Start piecing together clues and claim to have a psychic vision.

Shawn: Why is your friend Bianca dead?

I can see it.

I can see her running down

the hallway of the asylum.

Wait a second.

Doreen wasn’t supposed to die.

This was an accident.

The wood.

The wood was rotten.

The latch broke.

Betty: Yes, yes, it broke! That’s it.

Don’t you see? We never meant

for her to fall! It was a

complete accident!

4

If there are no other leads, pick a suspect and blame it on them.

Shawn: Until we have another lead,

we assume it’s her. We’ve just

got to figure out the “how.”

Police Department

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5

Sneak into crime scenes in order to gather information illegally.

Shawn: Here’s the plan.

You ring the doorbell

and distract the person that

answers the door.

I’ll go around back, figure

out a way in.

Gus:

Are you kidding?

It took the whole ride to come up with that?

Shawn: Well, feel free to

make revisions, Gus. 6

Gus:

How am I supposed to distract them?

Shawn: Oh, you’ll think of something.

Good luck.

We’re all counting on you.

7

Come up with a solid plan to do this before acting.

Gus:

Mrs. Harthan?

Poppy: No, the Harthans are down at

the cemetery. I’m poppy, the

housekeeper. May I help you?

Gus: Um, yes. Have you seen

Mrs. Pickles?

Mrs. Pickles, my orange tabby?

You must have seen her.

She’s pregnant with who knows

how many unborn tabby kittens,

and I’ve lost her!

8

Always have an escape plan. *phone rings* Gus:

Hello? It’s her.

Poppy:

Who?

Gus:

Mrs. Pickles. She’s home.

9

At the last possible moment, piece everything together and solve the crime.

Shawn: Meanwhile, Juliet’s at some

candlelight vigil with Doreen’s

family at the asylum.

Gus:

Wait no, no, no The housekeeper just said Doreen’s parents were at the cemetery

Shawn: What?

Gus:

10

What?

Shawn: Oh, god. Of course.

Why mess around with the

worker bees when you can

kill the queen?

Gus:

What are you talking about, Shawn?

Shawn: Gus, Alice! She wanted us all at

that party, including us, so that

she could get Mary Lou

by herself!

11

Set ground rules with your partner.

Gus:

Okay, Shawn, if I’m going to go back to that creepy institution I’ve been afraid to drive by since I was nine, there’s going to be some rules and regulations.

Shawn: Gus, this is no time for fun.

12

Gus: Listen, Shawn!

I will not enter a room first.

I will not enter a room last.

I will not investigate any suspicious

noises, or go looking for a fuse box,

and you will not, under any

circumstance, leave me by myself

without a weapon of some sort.

Do you understand and

agree to my terms?

13

Never leave a man behind.

Gus:

Woah! We made a deal, Shawn!

Get it out! Get it out!

Shawn: Pull your foot out of the shoe!

Gus:

I can’t! It’s too tight! Shawn, Shawn, don’t leave me, Shawn.

That was rule number five.

Shawn: Wiggle your big toe!

Gus:

14

I can’t wiggle my big toe

Shawn: Dude!

Gus:

What?

Shawn: Work the laces.