The importance of empowering young men to have respectful relationships

Mr Jon Marginis, Lead Psychologist

Throughout all sub-schools the boys are continuously being encouraged to build upon their relationships in a respectful manner.

For decades, boys and men have been delivered the message that they are required to be “strong”, “thick skinned” and to have “banter”. Although it is important to have healthy level of resilience, the manner in which boys and men treat each other and others is changing for the better. Boys and young men are now becoming more equipped to call out behaviour which is toxic and harmful in nature rather than ignoring it or being a bystander to the behaviour.

In the realm of psychology, we can see that many boys and men are breaking down the stigma associated with what it means to be a man or masculine. More boys and males are accessing counselling or therapy than we have previously seen. We know that boys and men are taking ownership of their thoughts, behaviours and emotions and are wanting to continue in making positive changes in the way they behaviour and interact with others.

When reviewing why there has been a shift, a critical aspect is the role in which the school that the young man attends discusses masculinity, relationships and respect. At Scotch, the boys are engaged in a range of different programmes that assist with this positive development. When looking at the Pre-Kindergarten to Year 12 structure, it is evident that starting this young in a child’s development is critical. Within the Junior School, the boys are engaged in the Wellbeing Programme and the Keeping Safe Child Protection Curriculum.

When speaking with the boys, many are now able to identify that:

• They have the right to feel safe in all interactions with others

• The right to set boundaries with others

• Able to recognise acceptable and unacceptable behaviours and attitudes

• Create and foster respectful relationships

• Address situations or conversations if they do not feel they are appropriate.

The boys and young men of Scotch College are also equipped and encouraged to speak to a trusted network of adults should they feel unsafe or would like support on a matter. A benefit in the structure of all sub-schools, is that the boys are provided with a range of adults with whom they can develop positive relationships. This can enact their ability to speak through topics, issues or relationships, in a way that feels respectful and safe.

I am positive that as the boys continue their journey into manhood, they will continue to breakdown the stigma associated with unhealthy masculinity, whilst developing and enhancing their skills around safe and respectful relationships.