A HOW-TO GUIDE FOR ALLIES
Disclaimer: People who use the terms nonbinary, asexual, or demisexual to describe their gender identity or sexual orientation may do so because that is the term they think best fits them or feels most right. Some people using these terms may not seem to fit their definitions exactly. Language is freeing yet limiting, and it is up to each person which labels they use or do not use. As an ally, it is not your place to tell someone which label they should use or that they cannot use a particular label.
Gem Kryhina The LGBTQ+ community includes various sexual and romantic orientations and gender identities. Some of these are more well-known and accepted than others. For example, nonbinary, asexual, and demisexual people are members of the LGBTQ+ community whose identities are often unknown, rejected, and erased. Because of this, not all allies, and even members of the LGBTQ+ community, recognize and respect nonbinary, asexual, and demisexual people. Being an ally to nonbinary, asexual, and demisexual people centers around validation and individuality. That is, the key to being an ally is validating nonbinary, asexual, and demisexual
NONBINARY The Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to advocacy and crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth, has many resources for LGBTQ+ people and allies on its website, thetrevorproject.org. One such resource, A Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Youth, defines nonbinary as a gender identity outside the male-female binary. This means that people who identify as nonbinary may identify as neither male
people’s identities and recognizing that everyone’s identity is unique. A person’s relationship with their gender or sexual orientation can be influenced by many things, such as their experiences and other identities, Avantika Swaminathan points out. Swaminathan, a junior and president of Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA) at Carlmont, identifies as nonbinary and uses all pronouns. “Being [LGBTQ+] can mean so many things, and it definitely can depend on people’s other intersections of marginalization,” Swaminathan said. “People of color, Black people, and Indigenous people may experience gender identity or sexuality in different ways depending on their cultures and how they fit into a Eurocentric society.” nor female, both, or a combination of these. Xen Lapshin, a nonbinary senior that attends Middle College and uses they/ them pronouns, reminds nonbinary allies that it is essential to realize that nonbinary identities are complex and vary from person to person. “The most important thing to remember is that everyone’s gender is different,” Lapshin said. “Two nonbinary people could have completely different gender experiences.” Differences between nonbinary
Pronoun Examples they/them: They wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave them a copy of the magazine. ze/zir: Ze wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave zir a copy of the magazine. xe/xem: Xe wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave xem a copy of the magazine. sie/hir: Sie wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave hir a copy of the magazine. she/they: She wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave them a copy of the magazine. he/they: He wanted to read the Highlander, so I gave them a copy of the magazine.
Source: Gender-Neutral Pronouns 101: Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know via them.us
34 HIGHLANDER FEATURES
