The Blumenfeld Group’s local renown and national respect stem from their unparalleled service, marketing, and expertise. Representing exceptional residential properties in San Diego, Joel and Paris stand as trusted authorities in the housing market. Whether you’re a first-time buyer or a seasoned investor, we’re dedicated to finding the perfect match between property and vision. Align yourself with the most trusted experts in the housing market.
We have locations all over San Diego! Scripps Ranch (Chabad S. Diego HQ), Bonita, Carlsbad, Carmel Valley, Chula Vista, Coronado, Downtown, East County, Encinitas, Escondido, La Costa, La Jolla, North County Inland, Oceanside/Vista, Pacific Beach, Penasquitos, Rancho S. Fe, SDSU, Tierra Santa, UCSD, University City
Many people in the community are feeling worried and stressed about their future.
During these uncertain times, the warm embrace of a caring community brings comfort, support, and an understanding that goes beyond words. If you or someone you know needs support, we’re here for you. www.jfssd.org
For more than a century, Jewish Family Service has innovated and adapted to serve the San Diego region. We remain committed to meeting the evolving needs of our community with aging care services; nutrition, housing, and transportation assistance; immigration services; and support for the Jewish community.
Mark
Cover: Sculpture by Matt Devine at Oceanside Museum of Art.
PUBLISHERS
EDITOR
Susan Edelstein
ASSISTANT EDITOR Makayla Hoppe
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Donna D’Angelo
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Eileen Sondak
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Andrea Simantov, Trevor James McNeil, Marnie Macauley, Rabbi Yeruchem Eilfort, Galia Miller Sprung, Micah Siva Lisa McGuigan
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR Pepe Fainberg
ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Alan Moss | Palm Springs
EDITORIAL editor@sdjewishjournal.com
ADVERTISING marke@sdjewishjournal.com
CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS ronniew@sdjewishjournal.com
ART DEPARTMENT art@sdjewishjournal.com
LISTINGS & CALENDAR assistant@sdjewishjournal.com
SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 7742 Herschel Ave., Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2025 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
San Diego Jewish Journal (858) 638-9818 | fax: (858) 263-4310
#SDJewishJournal SanDiegoJewishJournal sdjewishjournal.com
SUSAN EDELSTEIN
In this issue, SDJJ celebrates art, real life and the power of a new perspective. In Israel, there is renewed hope for peace through the ceasefire and the release of hostages. Israeli resilience has become symbolized the world over by Emily Damari’s smiling face and mutilated hand on defiant display. This is power through the strength of community.
We are celebrating the impact of the Oceanside Museum of Art, its gorgeous presence and its important contributions to our community through the support and promotion of Southern California artists. It seeks to explore new perspectives, like that of artist Marshall Toomey, whose explosive and expressive works add to our history and culture.
We celebrate the local theater, New Village Arts, whose current production, “The Half-Life of Marie Curie,” which is just in time for Women’s History Month, is a story about women supporting and uplifting each other in times of trouble, both in life and in their work. This play is about the power of friendship.
Rabbi Eilfort reminds us to bring a new perspective to the synagogue by checking our politics at the door. As politics can divide us, Judaism is meant to bring us together and the synagogue is where we build community. His answer to the question, “Is G-d a Democrat or a Republican?” is “Yes.”
Trevor McNeil’s article on the Hungarian-Canadian Jewish writer George Jones, the author of the definitive account of the murder of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympic games, reminds us that in the eyes of justice, there is a clear distinction between terrorism and counter-terrorism, no matter the politics of the day.
For perspective on the ceasefire and hostage release, our Israeli citizens, Andrea Simantov and Galia Sprung, offer theirs. Andrea states that although Jews are at a “historical intersection that demands unimaginable stores of faith, kindness and resolve,” we will rise to face the challenges of our times. And Galia, while on a ship in the middle of the vast ocean, was mesmerized by the power struggle between the waves and the ship and felt she “absorbed the spirit of the relentless waves” to renew our strength to fall and rise again.
Marnie Macauley, just ahead of World Hearing Day, details her own ‘hearing story’ and reminds us, with humor, that the inability to hear isolates, diminishes and ages us, and she gives us the strategies and thereby the power to take control of our aging by taking control of our hearing loss.
We hope you enjoy this issue of the San Diego Jewish Journal. Shalom. A
For more infomation, call 858-720-8250 or visit https://www.msmfamilylaw.com/attorneys/myra-chack-fleischer/ Legal Experts with Humanity
Children ages 9 months to 6 years
Proven Montessori Method and Philosophy
Bilingual Program: English & Spanish
Learning through hands-on experience
Integrated secular and Judaic curriculum
Skilled teachers, trained in early childhood development
Secured, state-of-the-art facilities
‘Just things’ — like what my LA neighbors have lost — are what makes houses into Jewish homes
When the ashes are cool, it will be time to help fire victims replace irreplaceable Judaica, an Angeleno writes.
by Rachel Steinhardt (JTA News)
The antique silver menorah. The shabbos candlesticks. The tiny tefillin set. The last remnants from Europe that my grandparents, all Holocaust survivors, managed to shlep to America. And I need to get them out of my house. Right now.
I had this thought during a moment, earlier this week, when the Palisades Fire raced unchecked in all directions, including south toward my Santa Monica home. I threw a few documents, clothes and photo albums in a pile on the living room floor, and on top of those I placed these Jewish family heirlooms in a Trader Joe’s paper bag.
I haven’t needed to evacuate my home. The fire’s southern trajectory has slowed. As I write this, I have not yet unpacked my Judaica-filled go-bag (just in case), but I know I am inordinately lucky. As I learn
of each new devastation that continues to ravage the Los Angeles area, including my Pacific Palisades synagogue community where at least 300 Jewish families saw their homes consumed by fire, I cannot begin to fathom all they have lost.
Every home taken by fires, no matter the family’s cultural background, contained a lifetime of memories and artifacts. “They’re just things,” these stunned, newly homeless people are told. “They’re just things,” they repeat to themselves with dismay. Nearly all of these things are, in theory, replaceable. It’s the remembering, in the heat of the moment, which rarefied objects are actually irreplaceable, that understandably eludes so many.
We Jews tend to treasure the contents of our Judaica cabinets.
The rabbi of a congregation displaced by fire describes carving out a holy day amid trauma and anxiety.
by Rabbi Paul Kipnes (JTA News)
So many questions swirled in my head, like burning embers caught up in the wind, each one demanding urgent attention. Will the power be on at the shul, or will we need to accept one of the many kind invitations to join another synagogue for services? Should we pack the cars before heading out for Erev Shabbat, ready to evacuate if the fires — just five miles away — move closer? If we leave our home, will we return to it intact, or will it be gone?
These questions pressed against my mind. What was the right thing to do? How should we prioritize when everything feels so uncertain, so urgent? The weight of these decisions was exhausting, yet the answers remained just out of reach.
Continue reading these stories at sdjewishjournal.com
by Linda Bennett and Emily Bartell
Stand With Us San Diego held their Leaders of Tomorrow Gala on Nov. 17 at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront. Supporting Israel and fighting antisemitism, Stand With Us has stepped up to the many challenges of the past year and has achieved standout support and success. The evening’s dinner and program were highlighted by The New York Times bestselling author Noa Tishby and Emmy Award-winning journalist Stella Inger Escobedo. The gala recognized Lifetime Achievement Honorees Dan and Jaime Feder and honored Nate Neustadt and Nathan Pupko. With over 750 people on hand, some of those we ran into were Linda and Lou Levy, Ben Midler, Manya And Mike Wallenfels, Anita Fuchs, Nancy AlverezCalderon, Mayor Bill Wells of El Cajon, Lori Levy Weisskopf, Andy and Staci Wax Vanderwiel, Hildi Beyor, Charlie Rosen , and Dan and Jaime’s children, Noa (7 yrs.) and Evelyn (11 yrs.) Feder.
Recently, Congregation Beth Israel’s newly installed assistant rabbi, Rabbi Elana Ackerman Hirsch, was welcomed by the Women of Beth Israel with a lovely meet and greet event. Rabbi Ackerman Hirsch spoke on her background and expressed her enthusiasm for being a part of the CBI community. Some of the 60+ Women of Beth Israel in attendance were Ellen Edwards, Janet Perlman, Lynn Samson, Steffi Bakser, Linda Levine, Beth Peisic, Nancy Gordon, Sheryl Baron, Joanne Gimbal, Bonnie Graff, Tracy Hirschfeld and Susan Zale
Ready for another cinematic journey through the heart and soul of Jewish storytelling, the San Diego Center for Jewish Culture recently presented the 7th Annual Joyce Forum Jewish Short Film Festival. A rich tapestry of Jewish culture and heritage, we were immersed in the full experience of this three-day program of 29 short films. Those in attendance we conversed with thoroughly enjoyed the vast selection of films presented. Some of those on hand were Yvonne Lazar, Caroland; Roy Slavin, Renee Zoffel, Yossi Yedid, Lori and Henry Holmes, Byrne and Dick Eger and Carol and Danny Strub
While we normally try to keep things on the lighter side, we would like to take a moment to honor the memory of our friend, Peter Yarrow, beloved activist, legendary folk musician and a truly kind soul. Thank you. We won’t let the light go out!
Mazel Tov to Gabby and Eric Kloster on the birth of their son, Ron Marcel, born on Oct. 23. Ron has two older siblings, Jacqueline (4 yrs.) and Danielle (2½ yrs).
Mazel Tov to Sue and Selwyn Moss on the birth of their grandson, Jack de Jong, born on Oct. 25. Sue and Selwyn are thrilled with the arrival of their third grandchild and first grandson. Jack’s parents are Arielle and Adam de Jong of Los Angeles.
Mazel Tov Adam Bloom and Deanna Jimenez on their marriage. They were married on Oct. 26 in Temecula. Both the Bloom and Jimenez families and friends are completely overjoyed.
Al Sheldon celebrating his 80th birthday.
with infinite love & happiness, Mazel Tov to…
Barbara and Ralph Levy, 65 years.
Susan and George Kaplan, 63 years.
by Andrea Simantov | andreasimantov@gmail.com
How many of us avoid reminiscing about uncomfortable chapters in our lives? Memories that cause tear ducts to swell and/or lead to a surge of heat into our cheeks? You know the memories I’m talking about: The sad, the disappointing, the shameful. My figurative regret file includes a failed 1969 audition for Manhattan’s High School of Performing Arts, where I didn’t understand the lunacy of regaling the staff with an interpretation of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. No one had to say, “Don’t call us; we’ll call you.” Or the anxiety that accompanied college applications and the frantic wait (‘Please, PLEASE G-d!’) for a fat orientation packet in lieu of a thin envelope holding a one-page rejection? Perhaps, like me, you still suffer the relentless ache from hours of standing and dancing at a smokefilled party while squeezed into a pair of stiletto heels, hoping that that attractive someone to whom you just gave your phone number will, indeed, call. Some of us have lists that include troubled marriages, bad divorces, parental/child alienation or a school play you forgot to attend. It’s all part of a universal experience called The Waiting Game. Waiting for things to get better. Waiting for forgiveness. Waiting for life to reset.
steely resolve of Job, satisfactionon-demand is not a Jewish virtue. Faith and character building often rely on hearing — and accepting — the word “no.”
Forty-two years ago this month, I was certain that G-d had forgotten me as
I miserably lumbered under the weight of a seemingly endless first pregnancy. Mad with spiraling hormones, I envisioned a future technicolor issue of National Geographic that featured the world’s longest human gestation period, resulting in an induced birth at seventeen years. The journal would include photos of the delivery of a fullygrown teenager with a driver’s permit clutched in her hand who began each day with a cigarette, cup of coffee and the morning edition of The New York Times. Jewish tradition emphasizes the importance of patience. The laws of kashrut (keeping kosher) introduce discipline to the youngest of children. While not all of us are equipped with the
Which brings us to “faith” and “insight.” Emunah and binah. Judaism teaches us that our relationship with G-d is not conditioned upon His “coming through” and automatically saying “Yes” when we pray for something. Very tough stuff, especially in circumstances where a person’s life or sustenance hangs in the balance. Developing humility or accessing gratitude in situations is something that has defined Jewish existence since before we received the Torah. It should also be mentioned that the Jewish calendar, rife with a myriad of holidays and delineated commemorative periods, reflects the ebb and flow that highlights ‘waiting’ and the ensuing brachot. Counting the Omer from Passover until Shavuot is a light-filled period, while the three weeks end with the most poignant expression of mourning: Tisha B’Av. There is no joy without reflection, but we cannot live in a state of despair. Each season comes with its lessons, guiding the community on how to navigate challenges and embrace blessings.
At the time of this writing, the holy nation of Israel is, once again, glued to news outlets — both print and
continues on page 23 >> ISRAELI LIFESTYLE
“A
— THE NEW YORK TIMES
“A bracing, provocative and very human exploration of America’s founding document...This is theatre at its most immediate and essential.”
— THE GUARDIAN
An emotionally charged theatrical event exploring the U.S. Constitution’s profound significance in contemporary America. Crafted by playwright Heidi Schreck, it is a unique, compelling perspective on the Constitution’s enduring relevance in our lives with a powerful, thought-provoking performance.
DIRECTED BY SHANA WRIDE
The JFS-David Rubenstein Memorial Scholarship
Supporting students in celebrating their Jewish culture and heritage, reflecting on their Jewish values, and deepening their connection to the community.
Apply now through April 7, 2025. Post-secondary scholarships available up to $10,000*.
“Receiving this scholarship gave me a boost in confidence and made me believe that I am capable of accomplishing things on my own and that I have the support of my community behind me.”
- Levi, Scholarship Recipient Graduate, SDSU
*For those applying to College, University, Graduate or Technical School.
Learn More: www.jfssd.org/Rubenstein
Email: scholarship@jfssd.org
by Trevor James McNeil tremcneil1980@gmail.com
Children often take after their parents in one way or another. The idea of “following in footsteps” is old and well-established. Even if they follow, there is often a variation that makes the children stand out from their predecessors. The Hungarian-Canadian broadcaster, journalist and poet George Jonas was no exception.
Born into an established Jewish family in Budapest in 1935, when Hungary was still a parliamentary democracy, Jonas was the son of the famous Hungarian lawyer, composer and opera singer Dr. George Hubsch.
Jonas received the standard middleclass education despite Hungary’s anti-Jewish laws. Based on Germany’s Nuremberg Race Laws and implemented in 1938, the laws effectively dissolved the essentially equal citizenship status Jews had enjoyed since 1867. Despite this socio-political limitation, Jonas got a job as a program director at Radio Budapest in 1954, only seven years after another major shift in Hungarian society with the rise of the Hungarian People’s Republic as a Soviet puppet state. By the time of the Hungarian Revolution in 1956, Jonas had tired of the instability of his homeland and immigrated to Canada.
Landing in Toronto in 1956, Jonas found success as a freelance journalist, contributing work to outlets including The National Review and The Wall Street Journal. More steady work came in 1962
Jonas’ biggest success came in 1984 with “Vengeance” detailing the massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany.
when Jonas used his experience at Radio Budapest to secure a staff job at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. He also got regular newspaper work while still at the CBC, writing columns for The Toronto Sun and then The National Post, keeping him in steady employment as he worked on books.
Jonas’ first foray into book publishing was in the form of poetry, with three moderately successful collections — “Absolute Smile,” “The Happy Hungry Man” and “Cities” — between 1967 and 1973.
In 1977, the first of many nonfiction books was published. “By Persons Unknown” is an early example of the now very popular true crime genre, detailing the 1973 murder case of Christine
Demeter, including the subsequent trial of her killer. Written with Canadian journalist Barbra Amiel, also known as Lady Black of Crossharbour due to her marriage to Lord Conrad Black, the book won the 1978 Edgar Award for Best Fact Crime Book. It was followed four years later by his only experiment with fiction, the novel “The Final Decree,” in 1981.
Continuing in the true crime vein, his next book was “Scales of Justice: Seven Criminal Cases Recreated,” published in 1983. His biggest success came only a year later in 1984. “Vengeance” detailed the 1972 Olympics massacre in which Black September members of the Palestinian Liberation Front terrorist group kidnapped and then murdered 11 Israeli athletes competing in the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany, as well as the secret Mossad operation, code-named Wrath of G-d, which led to the bombing of ten foreign PLO bases in Syria and Lebanon and the assassination of several of the architects of the attack and their supporters.
Despite some questions raised by critics about his sources and governments being understandably reluctant to reveal details of covert operations, Jonas had done a lot of research and confirmed as much as he could about what his sources had told him. The book was a bestseller, going into 21 different editions, and was translated into 13 languages. In 1989, it was adapted
continues on next page
into a TV movie titled “Sword of Gideon,” and then into the Steven Spielbergdirected feature film “Munich” in 2005.
In 2006, the Canadian magazine Maclean’s published a lengthy article by Jonas detailing the process of writing the book and the development hell that the 2005 film went through. He also took Spielberg to task for implying in the film that there is no difference between terrorism and counter-terrorism, which is directly contrary to the spirit of the book. Jonas was not allowed to read, let alone adapt, the script while the film was in development. The gap in terms of the spirit of the book and the message of the film is at least partly explained by the nearly 20-year gap between them, a time period which included the 9/11 attacks and the beginning of the War on Terror. The social and political atmosphere in 2005 was much different than it was in 1984.
In 1986, Jonas published a sequel to “Scales of Justice,” simply titled “Scales
of Justice: Volume II.” Shifting gears a bit, he also released a biography of the crusading Canadian Defense Attorney Edward J. Greenspan, with whom Jonas had produced the original radio series of “Scales of Justice,” titled “Greenspan: The Case For the Defense 1987,” as well as a collection of his newspaper articles titled “Crocodiles in the Bathtub and Other Perils” that same year.
Keeping up a fairly steady pace, 1989 saw the publication of a second biography titled “A Passion Observed: A True Story of a Motorcycle Racer,” detailing the life and career of legendary Czech-Canadian professional motorcycle racer Frank Mrazek.
In 1991, Jonas published a second collection keeping with the pulse of the times in the post-Regean era titled “Politically Correct: Notes on Liberty, Censorship, Social Engineering, Feminism, Apologists and Other Topics.” 1993 would see a return to poetry with Jonas’ first collection of verse in nearly
20 years titled “The East Wind Blows West.”
Jonas then took an extended 12-year hiatus from book publishing, focusing on his radio work and columns. He returned in 2005 with the autobiography “Beethoven’s Mask: Notes On My Life and Times.” Back into a regular flow, his next book, “Reflections On Islam: Ideas, Opinions, Arguments,” followed in 2007. His final full-length work, “The Jonas Variations,” was published in 2011, five years before his death. George Jonas died in 2016 at the age of 80, partly from complications from Parkinson’s Disease. A
Growing up in the far north, Trevor James McNeil had little to do other than read when the temperature went below 40 Celsius, and he developed an affinity for stories of all sorts. Graduating from the University of Victoria in 2009, he has been reading and writing in a professional capacity since. He lives in a cabin in the woods with his dog, and firmly believes The Smiths would have been better as a trio.
New York-born Andrea Simantov moved to Israel 29 years ago. She is a small-business owner and both a print and media journalist. Her popular podcast, “Pull Up a Chair,” is produced by Israel News Talk Radio. She can be reached at andrea@israelnewstalkradio.com. Literature continued
electronic — waiting for a substantive announcement regarding the imminent release of all of the hostages from Gaza. Those who are alive, those who were murdered, the remains of our holy chayalim who gave their lives so that both the nation of Israel and world Jewry continue to prosper. The families of the aforementioned victims have undoubtedly gone mad, plagued by a condition called “perpetual grief.” All of Israel has been affected, but if the imprisoned aren’t your immediate loved ones, it behooves all of us to withhold judgment on the public, antigovernment demonstrations that occur like clockwork. Even — or especially — if one disagrees with the message or manner that the protestors employ to
call attention to their respective plights. There, but for the grace of G-d goes every one of us. Because even if, please, G-d!, this agreement reaches fruition before the publication of this article, the story isn’t over. We are looking ahead at decades of recrimination, healing, therapy, grief, family disintegration and more.
The concept of immediate gratification is man-made. At best, it offers diversions that cannot be sustained among civilized society. The Torah addresses challenges of “want” versus “need,” and “deservedness” versus “forfeiture.” Once again, Jews find themselves at an apocalyptic, historical intersection that demands unimaginable stores of faith, kindness and resolve. And
despite the hovering clouds, I believe with all of my heart that we are worthy of His blessings and will rise to the challenges that lay ahead. A
by Susan Edelstein
Almost right in the middle between Los Angeles and Tijuana is the City of Oceanside. Within this sprawling region are hundreds of artists who are brought together through the efforts of the Oceanside Museum of Art, a gleaming, welcoming venue containing ever-changing exhibits of local, up-andcoming contemporary artists.
OMA was founded in 1995 by the then-mayor of Oceanside and a core group of citizens sharing the same vision — bringing people together to
explore the art and share the stories of Southern California artists. Through sheer will, determination and a love of art and community, OMA began bringing exhibitions of artists from LA to TJ to the city. These early events were held in the library, various banks around town and private homes. In 1997, OMA opened its doors at what was formerly Oceanside City Hall in the Irving Gill-designed site. Then in 2008, a huge expansion by architect Fredrick Fisher was added to the original building, seamlessly blending classic and modernist
architecture. The museum sits on an elevated corner, its radiant white arches opening onto an expansive terrace. It is a stunning site.
OMA exhibits the work, voices and creative energy of Southern California artists exclusively and, as such, reflects the spirited community of authentic, contemporary art while creating a huge network of artists and supporters. OMA’s mission is to enhance lives and uplift the community through its dynamic exhibitions, of which there are about 15 per year. With OMA’s focus on regional
artists, they often present an artist’s first solo show, positively impacting a career.
by Susan Edelstein
An exhibition at the Oceanside Museum of Art features artist Marshall Toomey in his first solo show titled “Marshall Toomey: Black Americana,” which runs through April 13. Marshall’s paintings are arresting; they made me stop and pulled me in. They are full of light, life and movement. They put me in mind of the artists of the Harlem Renaissance whose explosion of work expressed racial pride and unsuppressed joy.
Marshall’s journey to Oceanside is like a movie, which makes perfect sense considering his background. Born in Kansas City, Missouri, he moved to Southern California in the ‘70s for his artistic career. An early goal was to have a syndicated comic strip running daily in every newspaper. That didn’t happen, but he had a successful
SDJJ had the opportunity to meet Executive Director Maria Mingalone, who graciously hosted a tour of the museum. Maria has been at the helm of OMA since 2016, and her warm enthusiasm for this ‘institution with spirit’ is palpable. Maria grew up on Long Island, New York, and credits visits with her grandmother to all of New York’s world-renowned museums with her lifelong love of art and museums. She said, “My grandmother worked in fashion as a designer and was an artist in her own right. She painted, made jewelry, etc. She instilled in me a lifelong love of museums and a creative streak that led to my pursuit of a B.F.A. in studio arts as a painter and printmaker.” continues on page 27 >> continues on page 26 >>
2024 OMA exhibits. Near right: Charlotte Bird, Indecision, 2023. Far right: Beston Barnett, Solomonica: Makeda, 2023. Below: Zach Corner, Cruizin’ the Strand.
Maria says that, like art itself, OMA is constantly changing, maintaining its vision as a nontraditional, risk-taking institution.
Asked about the museum’s curatorial process, Maria explained, “OMA’s curatorial practice includes internally driven exhibitions whereby the OMA team may propose an exhibition idea, and then we find a guest curator to execute the idea. The majority of proposals come from curators and artists. We have a submission process for exhibitions followed by an internal review of proposals by our exhibitions and collections advisory committee. The OMA team then takes our advisors’ feedback into consideration to plan for a year’s exhibitions program.”
As one can imagine, an exhibition at an acclaimed museum can be a gamechanger for an artist. Maria explains
this effect, “A museum show is a great resume builder. If a museum curator sees that another museum has made the leap to show the work of a particular artist, it lends a sense of imprimatur for the artist’s work. As a venue that often offers an artist their first museum exhibition, OMA’s team is willing to present artists who have yet to be vetted by the museum community. We are, in essence, a de facto gateway for future shows for these artists.”
Maria appreciates the deep roots OMA has in the community and the strong ties the museum builds among the people of Oceanside and the artists from all parts of Southern California. OMA enhances civic pride and the connection between art and culture with its Artist Alliance program. Maria explained, “Artist Alliance allows any OMA member who identifies as an artist to find a sense of belonging and to have a network of other artists to connect with. It doesn’t matter whether they are a professional or hobbyist; the outcomes are the same.
We can all learn from one another. OMA plays a role in creating those connecting points via on-site programming such as critiques or skill-building workshops and professional exposure via AA exhibitions held on and off-site throughout San Diego County. The number of Artist Alliance members is a testament that this kind of relationship between museum and artist is needed in our community.”
In furtherance of ongoing community connection, since 2017, OMA has partnered with the Oceanside School District and the Oceanside Public Library to bring 3rd and 5th graders to the museum for immersive engagement with art, enhancing literacy skills and science comprehension. These programs educate about 3,000 children each year. (Even OMA’s museum store features original works.) Oceanside Museum of Art is a jewel in the crown of San Diego’s arts community. A
Marshall Toomey continued
I want to show the everyday beautiful elegance in Black life we sometimes take for granted.
career as a movie animator at Disney. His credits include beloved children’s movies such as “Aladdin,” “The Lion King” and “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” He also illustrated the books created after the movies. That career lasted for 20 years, and he is now well into his second career as a professional artist.
Marshall’s work exudes positivity. He aims for “Realism with incredible vitality — they feel almost alive.” Asked to describe his style, he said, “My style is blended with traditional techniques to create an enriched view of the life I’ve experienced. I placed myself in the scene along with other characters from my life. I am taking a look at the positives in everyday life, the perspectives,
Left: Marshall Toomey, The Shop, 2023. Oil on canvas, 38x38. Below: Marshall Toomey, The Arrest of Martin Luther King, 2023. Oil on canvas, 43x 56. Courtesy of Marshall Toomey.
traditions and routines of being outside of the struggles.”
His goal is to tell a new story. He said, “Museums need this newer history for people to see that there is always more to the story. I have found in my travels to museums and galleries throughout the world that the visual image of Black folks was very somber, and I completely understand why, but I want to show the everyday beautiful elegance in Black life we sometimes take for granted. I did a portrait, ‘The Arrest of Martin Luther King,’ where I showed that amid the violence, MLK had a glow and elegance about himself. That’s what I would like to see in museums. My main goal is to bring about this change with my paintings.”
Marshall’s show at OMA came about when he entered a competition through OMA’s Artist Alliance and won the grand prize — a solo show. Said Marshall, “When my painting ‘The Shop’ won the grand prize in 2023, the museum asked for a whole show of my storytelling paintings. I spent the next year preparing this show. I’m very proud of my first show. It is getting great reviews; I’m making new contacts and fans. ‘Black Americana’ became the platform for my stories.” Thank you for your stories, Marshall Toomey. A
Please Check Your Politics at the Door
by Rabbi Yeruchem Eilfort
The epicenter of any synagogue is obviously the sanctuary. It is the focal point; it is the reason the building exists. It may not be the only thing that attracts and serves the congregation, but it is the genesis of everything that occurs on campus. This is true regardless of the philosophy of the given synagogue.
The synagogue is primarily meant to be a place where the community congregates to jointly communicate with the Almighty. We ask our G-d for our personal, communal, spiritual and physical needs.
There are wonderful ‘fringe benefits’ of coming to the synagogue, most profoundly, the coalescing of a community with shared beliefs, moral and ethical codes, and cultural influences. Indeed, the synagogue serves as the primary location of Jewish community building.
The United States, called by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of blessed memory, the nation of kindness, recognizes the critical role played by the synagogue and therefore designated it as a non-profit organization, which means that donations made to support the synagogue are tax-deductible. This is very different from the designation of political organizations, where the money donated is not tax-deductible.
This distinction is both telling and critically important.
If Judaism brings us together, politics, by its very nature, is extremely divisive. Allow me to illustrate my point.
Presumably, everybody wants to decrease poverty. However, there are sharp disagreements on how best to eradicate it. If someone is hungry, one might say, “give him a fish,” while others will say, “teach him how to fish.” In both cases, the donor wants to alleviate the hunger of the recipient; they just have different philosophies of how to achieve their laudable goal.
These sharp differences of opinions can bring out lessthan-praiseworthy behaviors, as these debates sometimes devolve into name-calling and vilifying one’s antagonist. That is not to say that political discussions and debates are not worthwhile; in fact, they are critical to a healthy democracy. But, like everything else, there is a time and place for them.
The appropriate time for political debate or even political discourse is NOT in the sanctuary of one’s local synagogue, and certainly not during services. Too many people have equated their personal political outlook as being synonymous with morality. Because someone may disagree with their analysis or ideas, they call the person all sorts of horrid names and accuse the person of all sorts of terrible motives, like racism, homophobia, lack of patriotism, etc. They have made their politics into their religion, and this is harmful.
Yes. There are philosophical elements that are foundational to both the Democratic and Republican Parties, which come directly from the Torah.
This country is about evenly split between the ‘liberal’ and the ‘conservative’ outlook. What this means is that when politics are discussed, from the Bima, for example, about half of those in attendance feel alienated.
Does anyone come to the synagogue to learn what his/ her political philosophy should be? I would bet that not a single person comes to shul to be taught about politics. As an aside, I find it ironic that those who profess to be the most tolerant are oftentimes the most judgmental and intolerant of dissenting opinions.
That is why you will not experience a political sermon in a Chabad synagogue. The Rebbe emphasized time and again what our job is and what it isn’t. Our job is not to teach politics, even if we mean well. Our job is to build bridges with our fellow Jews and to help nurture the latent holiness in every member of our people. We don’t guilt trip. Ever. Positive reinforcement is the order of the day.
In the sanctuary, when engaging in conversation with others, we should be emphasizing our commonalities and encouraging devotion to G-d, to the Jewish people, to the land of Israel, and to the Torah of Israel.
How many of our people need to be turned off to Judaism before we learn this lesson? In this case, intent does not matter; only the outcome. Did the conversation bring the other person closer to Judaism? If yes, it was worthwhile. If not...
It is time we take back our sanctuaries, making them into actual sanctuaries! A place of community-building, a place where our beautiful Jewish family can come together in fellowship and love. A
Rabbi Yeruchem Eilfort co-directs, with his wife Rebbetzin Nechama Eilfort, Coastal Chabads, Chabad at La Costa, Encinitas, and Carlsbad North. The Eilforts founded Coastal Chabads in 1989, and pride themselves on the welcoming and inclusive environment they have built where everyone, regardless of level of knowledge or observance, feels cherished and loved. Rabbi Eilfort welcomes and encourages readers’ comments and questions sent to his personal email: rabbie@ chabadatlacosta.com.
by Makayla Hoppe
In 1911, scientist Marie Curie received her second Nobel Prize for “the discovery of the elements radium and polonium, by the isolation of radium and the study of the nature and compounds of this remarkable element.”
The first person to win two Nobel Prizes, Curie’s contributions to the scientific world reached across oceans and time. However, her prestigious award was met with opposition and scandal due to an affair with physicist Paul Langevin, a former student of her husband, Pierre Curie. She was excoriated as a “foreign” Jewish temptress and homewrecker.
This period of Curie’s life was dramatized in “The Half-Life of Marie Curie” by Lauren Gunderson, currently playing at New Village Arts.
“This affair became a huge public scandal, and she was really ostracized for it in the public eye,” said director Kym Pappas. “Her friend and fellow scientist, Hertha Ayrton, came to her aid in Paris and scooped her and her daughters up and took her to England and helped her recover from this moment of grief and humiliation...We get to learn about who these women are and their contributions to science and society, but ultimately, the story is about their friendship.”
Hertha Ayrton, a physicist, experimented with electric arcs, which were
then used as a lighting source in arc lamps. She was an active member of the woman suffrage movement, joining the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU) in 1907. The two women met through their husbands at a reception and became close friends.
The production stars Rachael VanWormer as Marie Curie and Leigh Scarritt as Hertha Ayrton.
“Ultimately, the casting choices came down to the chemistry between the two women because their friendship is at the heart of this story,” Kym said. “When you’re in the casting process, you can feel the spark between people, and that spark was the most important part in the selection of the folks playing these characters…These are two very different women as far as the characters are concerned, and they’re both equally powerful and distinctive in their own right. So, I had to have two folks who could carry a lot of the story because it’s just the two of them up there.”
Playwright Lauren Gunderson has been America’s most-produced living playwright since 2016. With over 20 plays to her name, Gunderson primarily writes about female figures in history, science and literature.
“[Gunderson] writes women and whole people like they’re allowed to
be messy and flawed and brilliant and strong all at the same time,” Kym said. “Ultimately, the heart [of the play] is a story of women and how we get each other through and how we support and uplift each other in our work and in our lives. And I just think it’s really special and really beautiful.”
The play is being produced at New Village Arts’ Carlsbad theater, and the staging required some creative thinking from Kym and the team.
“We get these really surreal moments,” Kym said. “[Gunderson] is very cinematic in her thinking; there are a lot of locations. So, as a director and for our design team, there are a lot of challenges in creativity. It scared me a lot when I read it because I’m like, ‘How do you make that happen?’ And that was really, really exciting.”
“The Half-Life of Marie Curie” runs from Jan. 24 through Feb. 23. This production is a fitting addition to New Village Arts’ 23rd season and plays right on the cusp of Women’s History Month. A
Visit newvillagearts.org for ticket information.
by Galia Miller Sprung
It’s hard to be optimistic and to look to the future when we know that our future in Israel includes more tragedies: more soldiers killed, hostages suffering and dying in Hamas’ hands. And the unexpected, such as devastating fires in my hometown of Los Angeles. Yet, we all still look to the future because without that, what do we have? So, we plan. We travel. We have celebrations. We have dilemmas. Sometimes — too often — we are plagued by a guilty conscience for enjoying life. Still, we plan. We travel. We have celebrations. Sometimes, plans are fulfilled. Sometimes, you can board a ship and sail away.
But how do you keep the war from following in the ship’s foamy wake?
You turn off the Red Alert warnings on your phone. You ignore the messages and WhatsApp groups that ask each other if they are okay in their security rooms. You turn off notifications from the news outlets. You accept that if there is something you have to know, the message will find you.
The ship slowly makes its way down the coast of Africa to Porto Grande, our last port, before beginning the crossing to the islands of St. Marten, St. Thomas and our final port, San Juan, Puerto Rico. The sea captivates my focus. We are its guests, its audience. It is all we have.
I take strength from the force of its waves and the elegance of the creamy white foam they generate. I relax as mild surges raise the ship and then bring it gently down like a teeter-totter on water.
I am empowered by the artistry of the azure hues of the sky above and sea below and how they forever meet on the horizon. By the nothingness that surrounds us. The solitude. By how one gigantic ship can feel so tiny floating alone somewhere in the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean.
I focus on the ripples, wondering why they are white. However, the stillness of the Atlantic can turn on you. Like life. From our balcony, I am mesmerized by the power struggle between our ship and the thunderous waves.
The ocean controls us.
But we remain strong. I love experiencing a sliver of
danger, but a danger I can embrace, like an amusement park ride.
I am liberated. I allow myself to indulge in pure fun. I absorb the spirit of the relentless waves.
Like my ship, I hold strong. I am strong. I am energized. I can do whatever I want. There is no one to stop me. I’m in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I can dance, watch a cake- frosting demonstration, and eat whenever and whatever I want. I can smile at strangers, and they will smile back. It’s like a secret handshake. We are on a cruise. We have all left troubles behind. We know it’s temporary, but we smile and say, “Hi! So where are you from?”
“Come join us!” our new friends call to me as they race by. “We’re going on The Rush.” “Me? On that slide?” “Sure. You can do it!”
You want me to climb inside a flume that twists its way down 10 stories? Sure. Why not? I’m empowered now, I remember. I’m inspired. I’m free. But does my back know that? My neck? Like the calories, old injuries and old age don’t matter on a ship. Whee! A scream of release rather than fear comes out
uninvited as my prone body slides around and around the flume as I wonder what I’m doing here.
Then it hits me. I am living.
I take the elevator back to deck 18 for another rejuvenating “wooooooo,” feeling younger with each dizzying curve.
I drive the go-carts, too! Hood and helmet with piped-in race car stereophonics for authenticity. I stand in the winner’s circle for a picture because I came in first. Okay, I was the only one on the three-level track, but who has to know that?
I’ve been on many cruises and never dared to think, at my age, that I could — or should — enjoy these activities. True, they are usually controlled by hordes of kids, but this cruise had very few children, and the adults took over. One woman came out of the flume and went back to her walker! Fountain of youth.
We attend the ship-sponsored “Selfled Sabbath Service,” a code for Kabbalat Shabbat. The ship always provides challa, twist-on candles and what they consider an appropriate substitute for kosher wine or grape juice: a red-colored drink, usually cranberry juice.
We tell them each time that just because we bless red wine, it doesn’t mean that we can say a blessing over any red liquid.
We could claim, “Antisemitism!” but I believe it is just a lack of knowledge, a lack of caring. We try to explain the need for kosher wine or just grape juice to guest services (none on board, they say) and are rewarded the following week with a long, insulting and accusatory announcement in the Friday schedule. Instead of the one-line notice of “Self-led Sabbath services,” they print a diatribe whose message was: Listen people; be thankful we give you a room for your service. Don’t expect us to provide anything else. Find one of your fellow passengers to lead the service. Antisemitism? Whatever it was, we let them know that it was a rude, disparaging message to the Jewish passengers — and it had nothing to do with our discussions about wine. In an attempt to apologize for the tactless posting by her staff, we were promised a bottle of kosher wine for the third and final Kabbalat Shabbat and service.
Nothing, not even a cruise, is perfect. The incident with the wine and the staff is upsetting, but as I stand on the deck watching the sun slowly descend behind that forever elusive line in the distance, my focus is drawn to the elegance of the clouds as they stretch like pulled taffy, the fringes tapering off as they separate, revealing a blushing pink sky. I am calmed by their graceful movements. How odd it is to find serenity on a ship of thousands.
The waves build and curl and threaten. Then they dissolve into plain ocean water until their next surge of power. Even nature’s waves need a break before they take on new energy and rise up, only to crash down. But they rise again. And again. That’s us. We are strong and forceful, but sometimes we, too, need to crash to take a break. Then, with renewed strength, we continue. A
Galia Miller Sprung moved to Israel from Palm Springs, California in 1970 to become a pioneer farmer and was a founding member of a moshav in the Jordan Rift Valley. Today she is a retired high school teacher, a writer and editor. She lives with her husband in Tzufim.
We Are San Diego’s ONLY All-Jewish Mortuary Serving the community for over 40 years.
✡ Proudly Serving Jewish Families For Over 40 Years.
✡ Family Owned and Operated for Three Generations.
✡ Serving all Jewish Families, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform.
✡ Affiliated or Unaffiliated with a Synagogue.
✡ We can assist with At-need or Pre-need funeral planning. Purchasing cemetery plots or burial arrangements anywhere.
✡ We are here to help, call or email with any questions.
El Cajon Blvd., San Diego
Jennifer Berghaus – San Diego
Albert Kubie – Las Vegas, NV
Martin Miller – La Jolla
Thelma Scherer – Oceanside
Rachelle Kreager – Carlsbad
Lisa Neichin – Cardiff By The Sea
Larry Fisher – Sylmar, CA
Louis Chesner – La Jolla
Sheldon Kelman – San Diego
Sofiya Rashkovetskaya – La Mesa
Barbara Resmo – Coronado
Errol Kader – San Diego
Rabbi Jonathan Stein – San Diego
Norma Haynes – San Diego
Fight anti-semitism • Support our military overseas
Comradeship
Rafael Slovatizki – Chula Vista
Clara Kanosky – Los Angeles
Susan Pollack – San Diego
Howard Strauss – San Diego
Edward Benjamin – San Diego
by Susan Edelstein
Scripps Ranch Theatre continues its 45th season with the San Diego Premier of “White.” Written by James Ijames, the 2022 Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright of “Fat Ham,” and directed by Yolanda Marie Franklin, the production runs from Feb. 14 to March 9 on the campus of Alliant International University.
James Ijames is an American playwright, actor and professor born in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Many of his plays explore the exploitation of Black women by feminism,
contemporary culture and White women. His plays have no sense of ending or resolution. Many take place in a nightmare of history. James is clear on his philosophy of art. He believes, “You can’t own an idea. You can let it pass through you to become some better piece of the world...art should be both surprising and inevitable.”
Yolanda Marie Franklin is the artistic director for Common Ground Theatre, a local company that is one of the first and longest-running Black theater
companies in America. She was last at Scripps Ranch Theatre directing the 2024 production of “Stew.” For almost 20 years, Yolanda has been a member of the San Diego theater community as both an award-winning actress and director, as well as a Craig Noel Awardwinner for her production of “The Ballad of Emmet Till.”
The talented cast includes Mysia Anderson, Joey Landwehr, Noelle Caliguri and Kevin Phantom. A
BY EILEEN SONDAK
newvillagearts.org
New Village Arts is showing off the San Diego premiere of “The Half-Life of Marie Curie” by Lauren Gunderson. The play examines the power of female friendship as the Nobel Laureate deals with a personal scandal on the British Coast. This intriguing story will continue through Feb. 23
theoldglobe.org
The Old Globe’s Shiley Stage is showcasing the San Diego premiere of “Appropriate,” a darkly comedic drama about estranged siblings who team up to settle their late father’s estate. In the process, they confront old secrets and long-held resentments. The Tony Award-winning play will run through Feb. 23
The Globe’s White Theatre is ready to unveil the Globe-commissioned world premiere of “Empty Ride,” a new American play that explores the uncanny ways that love can transcend loss. This amusing and poignant piece will be on stage at Feb. 8 through March 2
sdmart.org
The San Diego Museum of Art Artists Guild is highlighting works of art by 45 artists. The exhibition, slated to be on view through March 9, was curated by Dr. Hugh Davies.
lambsplayers.org
The Lamb’s Players’ production of the multi-award-winning musical “Once” will play on through March 30. The Coronado-based troupe gave “Once” its regional premiere in 2018, and now the lively Irish musical returns with most of the original cast intact.
broadwaysd.com
Broadway San Diego is presenting the must-see musical “Wicked.” The smash mega-hit will be at the Civic Theatre on Feb. 5, where it will astonish and delight audiences through March 2
cygnettheatre.com
Cygnet has added “Other Desert Cities” to its season line-up. This “searingly funny drama” is about a family gathering in Palm Springs and the secrets they reveal on one fateful Christmas. The absorbing tale, told with intensity and humor, will take up residency at Cygnet’s Old Town Theatre Feb. 5 through March 2, starring local legend Rosina Reynolds.
theconrad.org
La Jolla Music Society will celebrate the Diamond Jubilee of Twyla Tharp Dance Company on Feb. 13, and on the 15th, Harold Lopez Nussa will perform two concerts. Look for the Hagen Quartet on Feb. 20 and the London Symphony Orchestra with pianist Yunchan Lim on Feb. 21 This special event will be held at the Jacobs Music Center. Dreamers’ Circus is on tap for Feb. 26, and Yunchan Lim returns on Feb. 28 to round out the month with his keyboard gymnastics.
lajollaplayhouse.org
La Jolla Playhouse is ready to launch the world premiere of “3 Summers of Lincoln,” a new musical about one of the most inspirational friendships in our nation’s history. During the dark days of the Civil War, President Lincoln had three fateful meetings with abolitionist Frederick Douglass. Those encounters shaped the course of history by providing a vision for the future without slavery and formed the framework for this fascinating new musical. The show will inhabit the Weiss Theatre Feb. 18 through March 23
northcoastrep.org
North Coast Rep will be presenting “What the Constitution Means to Me,” a tour de force that uses humor and pathos to reflect on the way our Constitution impacts society. This deeply personal work, penned by Heidi Schreck, will take over NCRT’s Solana Beach home Feb. 26 through March 23
juniortheatre.com
San Diego Junior Theatre will present “Sideways Stories from Wayside School” from Feb. 28 to March 16 The zany assortment of tales is chock full of adventures and cockeyed humor at the titular Wayside School. Based on a series of books by the well-loved children’s author Louis Sachar, this show is a great choice for youngsters of all ages.
February is the month of Tu Bishvat, an agricultural holiday that celebrates the “Seven Species”: wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives and dates, that grow in Israel and also happen to grow right here in California. Tu Bishvat is known as the New Year of the Trees and is often used as an Earth Day as we navigate a world with an ever-changing climate and environmental landscape. There’s no better way to celebrate than with a plant-based dish that features the seven species in it.
This recipe for a Vegan Date and Fig Sticky Toffee Pudding fits the bill, highlighting three (dates, figs, wheat). The caramel and toffee flavors of dates are complemented by a spicy cinnamon and spice blend, hawaij. Hawaij is a combination of ginger, cinnamon, cardamom and cloves. If you can’t find hawaij, simply use ground ginger for an equally delicious dessert. I like to make my sticky toffee pudding in muffin tins for an easy, single-serve dessert — no slices, no finnicky ramekins, it’s as simple as making your favorite muffin recipe. Toffee sauce can feel intimidating, but this is a simple, foolproof way to get a silkysmooth sauce to drench your cake in. Don’t feel like making it? Try a caramel or toffee sundae sauce for a dessert that’s on the table in a flash.
by Micah Siva
SERVES 8-10
• 1 cup pitted medjool dates, packed (approximately 15 dates)
• 1 ½ cup unsweetened almond milk
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• ½ cup vegan butter
• ½ cup light brown sugar
• ¼ tsp. orange zest
• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. kosher salt
• 1 tsp. ground hawaij or ginger
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• ½ cup dried figs, roughly chopped
Toffee sauce:
• 2 tbsp. maple syrup
• ½ cup light brown sugar
• ½ cup vegan butter
• ⅓ cup coconut cream
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• ½ tsp. kosher salt
To serve: Vegan whipped cream
1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Generously coat a standard sized muffin tin with cooking spray.
2. In a medium saucepan over medium-low heat, combine the pitted dates and almond milk. Stir frequently, until the dates have softened, about 10 to 12 minutes. Mash with a potato masher or fork.
3. Remove from heat, and add the vanilla extract, vegan butter, and brown sugar, and orange zest, mixing until the butter has fully melted.
4. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, hawaij/ginger, and cinnamon.
5. Add the date mixture to the flour mixture and stir until just combined. Gently fold in the chopped figs.
6. Divide the batter into the muffin tins, and bake for 18 to 22 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool.
Make the toffee:
7. In a small saucepan, over medium heat, combine the maple syrup, brown sugar, and butter. Stir constantly, until the sugar has fully melted. Let boil for 3 minutes, whisking to combine, and remove from heat. Add the coconut cream and salt and mix to combine. Let cool. The mixture will thicken as it cools.
8. To serve, top the cake with a dollop of whipped cream and a generous spoonful of toffee syrup.
by Marnie Macauley marniemacauley@gmail.com
My dear San Diegans:
The day I learned I was going deaf and would become completely deaf eventually was the same tragic day that JFK was assassinated. Not that I’m comparing them, of course, but my memory bank has a tendency to assign Nov. 22 to my wishful “Lost Days” list. I was an early “huh?” and now see a “sea” of people over 50 in a bubble repeating the question: “Wha? Wha?”
My Wha? Wha? story:
Back when grammar school was in a large post-War concrete monstrosity resembling Alcatraz, at least they tested hearing.
From kindergarten on, I flunked. That meant notes home. That meant going to audiologists who said I had a cold. Read: clogged. I did hear weird ringing and tingling, known as tinnitus.
Being a stalwart soul, I “adjusted.” Every school year, while kids were running over each other to reach the last row, Milton (the oblivious brainiac) and I sat in the pre-front row... moving our desks, almost touching the teacher’s nose. Mostly, I stared up at her lips. I got worse with a cold. The diagnosis remained: “Clogged!”
One night at dinner during the 1960s, my dad asked if I would pass the pickle. “Sure, I like Don Rickles,” I answered, confused. “Dot’s it!,” yelled grandma, “Deaf as a dumbwaiter!” This was prior to PC.
We left Flushing and turned to Fifth Avenue. Uh oh. My mother had just seen
this same doctor on the cover of some magazine for inventing some big surgical breakthrough.
After a quick tuning fork test, he told my mother I had otosclerosis, in my case, a hereditary condition that causes the stapes in the ear to fuse with the surrounding bone, preventing hearing. He was amazed at my age and loss, predicting I was a “hardcore” otosclerotic. The treatment? Surgery. But even this doesn’t stop the progression of the disease or last forever. I would be deaf by age 40.
As I was born hearing, my speech wasn’t affected, and no one would know — until most of the convo was “Wha?,” “Would you mind repeating that?” or made no sense. I bit the bullet
and got hearing aids. They helped, but as the years flew, they didn’t.
I opted for a cochlear implant where an electric transmitter is implanted and delivers sound directly to my mulching brain. For me, it was a risk, but one worth taking.
Back to you:
Strategy 1: Clues to run to your doctor or audiologist.
If (a) you repeat; (b) you intrude and interrupt constantly; (c) you can’t catch on to convos that others can understand; (d) you misidentify words; (e) background noise is unbearable; (f) you’re turning up the sound in your house, e.g. the TV is full-blast; ( g) you talk much louder;
(h) you ask others to repeat; (i) the telephone is almost impossible; (j) you can no longer enjoy social events, concerts, music as you once did, and may become more isolated; (k) street noise has become a mystery to you.
If any of these are going on...
Strategy 2: Claim it without shame. Many feel giving in to hearing loss is telling the world you’re searching for a field in which to “pasteurize” yourself. What next? A pill crusher, elastic shoe laces and an extended zipper pull? No, my darlings. The reverse is true! The young (thinker) communicate! Defiant oldsters who refuse aids are ancient, out of it, uninteresting, unable to share, and highly annoying to those who love them
and have to put up with repetitions and blaring TVs. Not hearing is aging you.
Strategy 3: Get as fixed as you can to be as fit as you can.
Warning: We’re all custom jobs. Go to a specialist before/instead of buying cheapos from a commercial!
Strategy 4: Name it.
Tell people you have any relationship with what’s going on, your level of loss and what you need them to do and not do, or they’ll scream. You also make adjustments. I sit close to my clients and look at their lips.
Strategy 5: The government gives free caption phones to the deaf. Take advantage of all captioning and
other communication options on all of your devices.
Finally, support any organization that helps the deaf. Adults, in particular, need more programs that actually work with the handicapped.
So, get all Calvin Kleined, go to a coffee bar and chit-chat without once caterwauling, “Wha? Wha?”
Let me know what happens! A
Marnie Macauley, MS, Columbia University –Creator of Strategic Relationship Thinking (an innovative way to solve problems), writer, editor, author, lecturer, clinician, and administrator – is a straight-shooter, with a distinctive voice and take on the world in her columns, features and books. She has been nominated for both an Emmy and a Writers Guild award.
Specializing in:
• Companionship
• In Home Support Services & Maintenance
• Meal Preparation
• Assistance with Activities of Daily Living
We
Ben Barth
Owner/Director of Operations
•
• After Surgery Care
• Respite and Relief for Caregivers
CA State Certified HCO & RCFE Administrator (619) 788-4459 | ben nonashomecare.com
•
•
•
•
