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SPF 900
POWERFUL SUNSCREEN You’re going to burn in hell, better protect your fabulous skin.
BEDAZZLED COFFIN You are surely going to die of aids, better die in style for the afterlife.
ACTUAL MEDICAL PILLS You will be sick of fag you need them to be fierce. (non-recreational)
IDENTITY CRISIS BOOK You’re no longer a man, neither a woman, don’t get it twisted gurl.
THE AMAZING GUIDE ON HOW TO
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KIT
MEGA DIVA MAKE-UP KIT No fag is complete without the kit to make your bff into a princess.
SIZE 11 STILETTOS
SET OF POP DIVAS’ CD’S
Now that you want to be a woman, reach the sky while looking fab.
Encouraging, from Brit Brit to Gaga, you shall praise them as godesses.
RED BULL, LOTS Your body won’t keep up with your sex drive without a little push.
BECOME A FL AMING HOMOSEXUAL
JOIN US
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S O M E U S E F U L TI P S & T R I C K S Useful notes on the every day life for the modern age queer.
FAMILY PLANS We would all love some offspring but lets face it, a baby without its mommy? You can’t have your own babies, why should you care to even adopt one.
TYING THE KNOT
TOURISM Please note that in the following places you shall not show your gayness, if you do, use an emergency no homo. If they catch you, you will be forced to die. Sudan Mauritania Saudi Arabia Iran United Arab Emirates Yemen Nigeria
Marrying is a no-no. Nothing to worry, if you want to mock a real relationship, you can always get a domestic partnership or any sort of civil union. You’re now a second-class citizen after all.
THE POWER OF GOD As an aspiring homosexual you shall always remember that god is the only way of saving your currently lost soul. When you don’t want to be a flaming homo any longer, you can always pray the gay away.
DISCLAIMER ONE-STEP CRASH GUIDE The latter method is not proven to work efficiently, if you are not successfully made into a fag by the 6th step, try the following, one-step, crash course guide on becoming one. Feel attraction to men. Enjoy!
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