Great River Jazz Fest celebrates silver anniversary

INSIDE: wispolitics.com says kapanke political stock rising • Page 4

25 years in, festival opens stage to all styles Page 5

PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING • PAGE 2 | THE MAJAK MIXTAPE • PAGE 7 | The BEER REVIEW • PAGE 10

2// July 29, 2010

Second Supper

Second Supper 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Carolyn Ryan, Julie Schneider, Anna Soldner, Nate Willer Ralph Winrich Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

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into one.

nAme And AGe: Amelia Swan Baxter, 32

First ConCert yoU went to: Steve Miller Band

where were yoU Born? New Haven,

whAt is yoUr BeverAGe oF ChoiCe? Red red wine

Conn., in a hospital with blue window frames

whAt Book Are yoU CUrrently reAdinG? “Defiance”

CUrrent JoB: Owner and Headless Chicken for Whole Trees Architecture and Construction

dreAm JoB: Farm manager for the USDA's gigantic urban demonstration garden, once the USDA comes to its senses and has one.

lAst thinG yoU GooGled: Umm, something about shower stalls and discount windows.

iF yoU CoUld live Anywhere in the world, where woUld it Be? Driftless Farm and Forest, with a secret turbo tunnel that opens on Chebeague Island, Maine.

whAt is somethinG yoU wAnt to do BeFore yoU die? Be totally content with what I have. iF A Genie GrAnted yoU one wish, whAt woUld yoU Ask For? That human nature would forever curb its greed and forever remember that we are part of the natural world, and that we need nature.

CeleBrity CrUsh: All the World Cup soccer teammates rolled

tell Us yoUr GUiltiest pleAsUre: One that can be publicly printed? Skipping the news section and going straight for the celebrity tabloids. whAt is yoUr BiGGest pet peeve? When my dear spouse gets cranky.

whAt one person, Alive or deAd, woUld yoU wAnt to hAve dinner with? Rumi tell Us A Joke: My daughter Estella's first joke ever: Winnie the Pooh? Winnie the Poo-Poo! whAt's the lAst thinG yoU BoUGht? Fancy foods for my dear friend Amber Fannin's birthday.

whAt's in yoUr poCket riGht now?: One piece of masking tape enfolded on itself that has "sold" written on it with a Sharpie. whAt is yoUr FAvorite pArt oF seCond sUpper?

The big headline pieces about our community that make me think.

how do yoU know noAh (lAst week's interview)? His mother fed me lasagna while she was in labor with him. Now he is betrothed to my daughter.

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson

L'Editor

Dear Reader:

Like a lot of concerned citizens of the world, I’ve been transfi xed by the massive cache of classifi ed Afghanistan War documents published this week by the pro-transparency WikiLeaks.org. It’s not so much the contents of the 92,000-odd cables that interest me — can you make sense of “At 1352Z, TF Aegis reported TIC 24km SW of FB Gecko.”? — but I appreciated the way it defl ated our government’s cloak of secrecy.

It was interesting the way the ideological right immediately circled the wagons and said there was nothing “groundbreaking” about the documents, though they still represented a threat to our nation. I’m not sure how you could make either conclusion just hours after their release, but I’m still planting my fl ag squarely on the side of the truth.

That’s why I’m hereby opening up Second Supper to any and all leakers. If you’ve got secrets, we want to hear ‘em. What is LHI really up to? Who’s on mayor Harter’s Blackberry? Why does Downtown Brown taste so delicious? How can Ron Kind stay eternally boyish? These are questions the good people of La Crosse deserve to have answered!

Of course they may not compare to “Why does the State Department fund Pakistan’s spy service when it gives monetary and logistical support to the Taliban?” or “Why does the military lie about the counterinsurgency using heat-seeking missiles to bring down U.S. helicopters?” — but you know us Midwesterners, we don’t like to pry.

— Adam Bissen

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Second Supper

Things To Do Drag your butt over to Players for a party

The Top

Places to listen to jazz 1. On a date 2. Utah 3. The Cosby Show 4. While jazzercising 5. While on hold 6. Tuesday nights at the Root Note 7. A speakeasy Brandon's favorite brands 1. Green Bay Packers 2. Pert Near Sandstone 3. Popcorn Tavern 4. American Spirit 5. Pabst Blue Ribbon 6. Saturn 7. JLS Discs

July 29, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Life need not be a drag when there are drag shows like the one LAX Girls and Company is putting on Saturday, July 31, as part of Players celebrating its one-year anniversary its new location, 300 Fourth St. A show will start at 9 p.m. and will feature Tammy Whynott, Liza Hollywoodz, Mabel Kane, Nicoli Clyne and Krystal Kleer. There will also be a bevy of drink specials, door prices and giveaways all evening. In the past year, Players has settled into its new home on Fourth Street in the former home of The Vibe and, like many of bars around town in light of the smoking ban, now offers a smoking patio. For more information, go to the Players website: www.playersbarlacrosse. com.

1

See lots of bands, Winona

We usually try to limit our To Do list to La Crosse and Onalaska events, but from time to time we go beyond those borders to rally support for special events. Because music is so much a part of our publication, The Mid West Music Fest in Winona qualifies as a special event, in our opinion. The inaugural celebration runs Friday and Saturday, July 30-31. With more than 80 bands, including Dessa of Doomtree, Rogue Valley (Chris Koza) and The 757s, performing and music spread across 14 venues, it should be a weekend to remember. An all-access wristband is $20. Proceeds benefit Semcac Head Start, the Winona Fine Arts Commission and Winona360. org. For more info, search them out on Facebook.

2

Try the new PSB pilsner

3

Join fellow beer lovers from all corners of the world today, July 29, for the New Beer Release Party at 4 p.m. at the Pearl Street Brewery, 1401 St. Andrew St. The new Pearl Street pilsner will be released and the winner of the “Name the New Brew & Win Free Beer for a Year” contest will be announced. Guitar logic will be on stage.

See some water-skiing

4

The hit TV show “The Amazing Race” inspired this new local event: “The Coulee Region Race - The Positive Race For Kids.” The race will take place Saturday, July 31, and all proceeds will benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater La Crosse. Fifty teams of two will race throughout the Coulee Region, battling puzzles and physical challenges. The first team to cross the finish line with all of the challenges completed will win a cash prize of $3,000!

The race starts in Riverside Park with lots of food and activities for fans. For more info, check out www.couleeregionrace.com.

Be a mall rat

Gettin’ your shop on will be a breeze Saturday when Valley View Mall marks its 30th anniversary. The celebration begins at 10 a.m. Friday in the food court area. While supplies last, shoppers will be given free gift bags filled with prizes, gift cards, savings passes and more. There will also be drawings for three grand prizes. Several area residents who have worked in the mall for the past 30 years will be recognized at the celebration. The mall has expanded over the years from four department stores and 44 specialty stores to more than 80 stores and a food court. Many stores will use the celebration weekend to kick of their back-to-school sales.

5

4// July 29, 2010

Second Supper

COMMENTARY

The WisPolitics.com Week in Review stoCk report

risinG Dan Kapanke

Insiders had largely quit paying attention to the 3rd Congressional District race, unimpressed with the La Crosse Republican's campaign and convinced Dem U.S. Rep. Ron Kind was a safe bet for re-election.

But there may be some signs the situation's changing. Kapanke outraises Kind by $49,000 in the latest round of reporting. And a new poll paid for by the conservative Americans for Prosperity shows Kind just up just 6 percentage points on the state senator. Some see the western Wisconsin district as primed for a throw-the-bums-out-type election. Others say Kind has been too good in the district and Kapanke too poor a candidate to pull it off in the end.

Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!

Municipal spending

Wisconsin’s largest cities and villages boosted spending on average 3.7 percent a year for the fi ve-year period ending in 2008, according to a new study from the Wisconsin Taxpayers Alliance. Police protection continues to claim the largest share of local expenditures. But street maintenance was the fastest growing area for spending. The numbers could fuel election-year criticism of government spending at the state and local level and help shape budget discussions on property taxes and shared revenue, insiders say.

FAllinG Sunshine law

CONSCIENTIOUS COMMERCE: Mmm...Bop!

Sudoku

Answers on page 11

Lawmakers pushed through a law to shed light on millions of dollars of dollars in state contracts. But many agencies aren't letting the light in, and the Government Accountability Board no longer wants to be in charge of showing the public how agencies spend state money on contracts. The board’s staff says the program should instead be overseen by State Bureau of Procurement in the Department of Administration because it has far more expertise in state purchasing.

It also would have the money and staff to run the project, the GAB says.

Don Dunbar

The top commander for the state’s National Guard is under investigation by U.S. Air Force offi cials. But it wasn't clear why. A National Guard spokesman said last week the probe is an “active, ongoing investigation of some kind,” adding it’s probably “very highly, highly personal.” Dunbar says his priority remains protecting Wisconsin, and a Doyle spokesman says the guv is aware of the probe. But he doesn’t know what it’s about and continues to have confi dence in him. The guv promoted Dunbar from colonel to brigadier general in September 2007, but the promotion continues to await confi rmation by the U.S. Senate.

thAt's deBAtABle

Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. In this installment of "That's Debatable," Fraley and Ross debate the Supreme Court's recent decision on the state's $200 million budget transfer from the Patients Compensation Fund.

Scot Ross: So the Supreme Court rules against the bipartisan decision by the Legislature to protect Wisconsin’s critical priorities and use funds from the patient compensation pool. That makes it even more important the state focuses on what’s important when it comes to responsible budgeting.

Conservatives are already trying to rewrite history on the issue and blame everyone but themselves.

Brian Fraley: Nice dodge. I know the Doyle/ Barrett team is attempting to do the same.

But let's examine what the ruling said: Doyle and his legislative allies illegally took property (funds) to paper over irresponsible budgeting. Doyle wanted to do this in 2003; the Republicans blocked him. He tried to do this in 2005, and the Republicans blocked him.

In 2007, with the Democrats in control of the Senate and the GOP clinging to a slim majority in the Assembly, Doyle fi nally got his hands on that money and spent it all.

Ross: I’m sure our readers are amused with your convoluted defense of Republican support for this plan, particularly given the reticence the right has had in accusing progressive elected offi cials as “fl ip-fl oppers.”

Speaking of nuance, Scott Walker’s team had to retract its original early-morning statement after Walker sent out a release saying he would “sign” a constitutional amendment to prevent fund transfers in the future.

Guess he got the memo that the governor doesn’t “sign” constitutional amendments.

Fraley: Quick everyone. Don't look at the Supreme Court ruling that served as a denouncement of Governor Doyle's fi scal mismanagement. Look at the fuzzy bunny over in the corner! Or that shiny object over there!

Your debate tactics mirror the Doyle/Barrett campaign plan. And I don't think it will work.

To somehow spin this ruling into a negative for Walker? No one is buying it, Scot.

Ross: Walker wants this story to go away AS-A-P. If the media begin to focus on fi scal management, the right’s standard bearer will quickly have all the credibility of Breitbart.

Fraley: No, I am sure Walker is happy to have the campaign become a discussion of budgeting processes and priorities. Even Barrett knows the "Like Jim Doyle, Only Worse" tag is sticking.

news in BrieF Special session might not be needed for budget

into the fund to cover large malpractice awards.

DOA Secretary Dan Schooff says he doesn’t believe lawmakers will need to come back for a special session to fi x the pending budget hole created when the Supreme Court ruled the state's $200 million transfer from the Patients Compensation Fund was unconstitutional.

For one thing, a Dane County circuit court still has to determine how much the state owes to repay the 2007 transfer along with interest and lost earnings. The judge will also decide how the state must repay the money.

The state also has some tools created in the current budget to help cut spending, including $200 million in unspecifi ed lapses that the administration was hoping to avoid. The state also will have to look at options such as cuts in provider rates and other areas of Medicaid.

Schooff said he disagrees with the Medical Society’s belief the ruling was a victory for those concerned about health care.

“It really just puts more pressure on health care. But we’ll work out a plan to do this.”

Tim Bartholow, vice president of the Wisconsin Medical Society that brought the original lawsuit, said the ruling provides peace of mind for state patients because it assures compensation if they win large medical malpractice award.

Health care providers pay annual fees

Johnson says he likely will sell BP stock when market is right

After previously sending confl icting signals about his plans for it, U.S. Senate candidate Ron Johnson now says he’d consider selling his stock in petroleum giant BP — if market conditions are right.

Johnson, who is seeking the GOP nomination to take on Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Middleton, disclosed in early July that he owned between $116,003 and $315,000 in BP stock. Democrats seized on the news to criticize Johnson after he defended the company following the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

"I think that'll eventually happen, but I'm going to do it based on market conditions," Johnson said of selling the stock. "I'm going to have to fi nance this campaign. At some point in time to get my message out, that'll probably happen."

Democrats again criticized his ownership of the stock.

“Ron Johnson has been cheerleading for Big Oil on the campaign trail, saying that now isn’t the time to be beating up on oil companies,” said DPW Chairman Mike Tate in a statement. “In each and every case he didn’t say one word about the hundreds of thousands of dollars he had invested in BP and Big Oil. He’s not shooting straight with the voters.”

Second Supper

July 29, 2010 // 5

COMMUNITY

All styles welcome as Great River Jazz Fest turns 25

Ain't just playing Dixie; contemporary, big band, smooth jazz and vocalists will also take stage

By Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

When the Great River Jazz Fest started 25 years ago, it catered to a certain kind of music fan, one who is generally older than your average Second Supper reader. Originally dubbed the Great River Traditional Jazz Festival, the inaugural runs featured only Dixieland bands, which were a far cry from the fusion acts that dominated the contemporary jazz scene.

But just as jazz performance evolved from clarinets and straw hats to electric instruments and rock rhythms, the Great River Jazz Fest, which will be held next weekend at Riverside Park, the La Crosse Center and other late-night jam spots, also evolved to keep up with changing times.

Terry Rochester, a local jazz enthusiast who hosts a weekly radio show on 88.9 WLSU, is the president and director of this year’s fest. A retiree with a trough full of jazz stories, Rochester has been involved with the festival from the start and seems committed to bringing his favorite kind of music to younger ears.

When he was fi rst named festival president over two decades ago, Rochester said one of his fi rst executive acts was to remove the word “Traditional” from the name. Dixieland is a fi ne style of music that was integral to the development of modern jazz, but the genre has come a long way since Dixieland’s heyday in the 1910s and ’20s.

Besides the narrow musical scope, fans of Dixieland jazz tend to be in the older age demographic. By opening up the Great River festival to other styles of jazz music, Rochester said he hoped to attract more young people to the shows, a booking philosophy that continues into its 25th year.

“We’ve got big bands. We’ve got small groups, large groups and one of the best singers I’ve ever heard live; that’s Debbie Duncan,” Rochester said in an interview this week, squeezed into a busy day of festival preparations.

The 25th Great River Jazz Festival, which will be held Aug. 5-8, features 11 groups from around the country. As a nod to its silver anniversary, most of the lineup has performed at previous Great River Jazz Fests, which spent its fi rst 21 years centered at the southside Oktoberfest grounds and will return to the outdoors next week after a three-year run exclusively in the La Crosse Center.

On a sadder note, this year’s festival is also held partially in memorial to three jazz musicians and GRJF alumni who passed away in 2010: pianist Eddie Higgins, clarinetist Chuck Hedges and cornet player Tom Saunders.

Higgins, whom Rochester called “one of the best mainstream jazz piano players that I ever knew,” was a Chicago native who performed at the GRJF several times. This

year, the Great River All Stars, a festival tradition comprised of top players from around the country, will perform three sets in Higgins’ memory.

“It’s not a soundalike band. It’s not a tribute band. It’s just in memory of him, music that he would like to hear,” Rochester explained.

Hedges, who was from Milwaukee, was previously booked to play this year’s festival, but he had to cancel due to his declining health. “He called and said ‘My doctor said I won’t be here in August.’ And damned if he wasn’t right,” Rochester recalled with a mournful smile.

To honor Hedges, Rochester booked the John Paulson Group, a local trio led by the jazz director of St. Mary’s University, which has similar instrumentation to the many groups Hedges would bring to town.

The legacy of Tom Saunders, a Dixieland impresario, will be continued by local favorites Al Townsend — a fellow cornet player — and his Wonderful World Jazz Band.

The GRJF opens with a “Taster Session” on Thursday, Aug. 5, and lasts through an afternoon show on Sunday, Aug. 8. Most of the scheduled sets will take place either at the lower level of the La Crosse Center or, for the fi rst time, under a tent at Riverside Park.

“We’ve had a lot of people say ‘Jeez, it’s August; we want to be outside,’” said Rochester, referencing the previous three GRJFs, which were held only inside the center.

Tickets to individual sessions, which last either three and a half hours on Friday and Saturday nights or nine hours on Saturday morning and afternoon, are $19 in advance or $21 at the gate. (Student tickets are $8 per session.) An individual ticket earns access to

both the Riverside Park and La Crosse Center shows, though the festival also sells a $109 all-events badge and a $129 VIP badge that gains access to all Jazz Fest events, including a Meet the Musicians reception.

An annual festival highlight will be the Great River All Stars, which will feature improvisational sets from crack jazz musicians from around the country. Other established acts include Sam Miltich & Clearwater Hot Club, who will honor the 100th anniversary of Django Reinhardt’s birth with a set of gypsy jazz; Debbie Duncan with the Mary Louise Knutson Trio, which features one of the nation’s premier jazz vocalists; and the Kansas City septet AfterGroove, which will perform a polished set of contemporary (aka “smooth”) jazz.

“We feel that with the younger types of jazz that we’ve got and the smooth jazz, the majority of that audience is probably under 45,” Rochester said.

Both evening sessions feature a total of eight acts, which will be followed by late-night jam sessions at the Freight House, 107 Vine St., and another local venue that Rochester couldn’t confi rm this week.

There will also be a “Mardi Gras Parade” beginning at 6 p.m. on Friday outside the La Crosse Center, outdoor shows on Saturday morning at the corner of Third and Main streets, and a PianoRama at the Pump House, 119 King St., on Saturday morning where every piano player at the festival will perform a 40-minute solo set.

“There’s a lot of places that jazz has gone. It’s come through swing and post-bop and all those patterns, and now it’s kind of like whatever you want to do,” Rochester said. “That’s what makes jazz fun for me, that everybody does it differently and I won’t hear the same song played twice.”

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At A Glance whAt: Great River Jazz Fest where: Riverside Park, La Crosse Center when: Thursday Aug. 5- Sunday Aug. 8 who: Great River All Stars, Debbie Duncan w/ the Mary Louise Knutson Trio, Sam Miltich & Clearwater Hot Club with Dave Karr, Upstream Jazz Quartet, AfterGroove, John Paulson Group, Dick Chaffee's Stardust Big Band, West Salem Adult Big Band, Al Townshend's Wonderful World Jazz Band, Les Fields & the Turkey River All Stars, Coulee Region High School All Stars how mUCh: Tickets are $19 per session, $21 at the gate. Student tickets $8. All Events Badge $109, VIP Badge $129 FYI: For more information visit www. lacrossejazz.com, or call the festival hotline: (608) 791-1190

6// July 29, 2010

6Q

Second Supper

ARTS with Colin Thelen,

actor in "Art" at UW-La Crosse

Art, like beauty, is often times in the eye of the beholder. In the upcoming production of the play Art at UW-La Crosse on Aug. 6 and 7, art, and its subjectivity, becomes the issue du jour among three friends after one buys a very expensive piece of artwork: a blank canvas with a few slashes of white. Second Supper recently sat down with one of the actors, Colin Thelen, to discuss art, the highs and lows of theatre life, and some truly fantastic yet terrible ideas for musicals.

Second Supper: So tell us a little bit about your character in Art. Colin Thelen: I play Marc. Serge (played by Kevin Fenshaw) buys this painting for what Marc believes is an exorbitant amount of money. Marc is flabbergasted about it while Yvan (played by Tim McCarren) sort of plays both sides.

SS: This production is a student-run production. How does that compare to other productions?

CT: It’s a little bit 5,000 Lbs.-esque. It’s not as rigid. Fenshaw found the play and got the ball rolling. There is a hierarchy like other shows with actors, directors, stage managers but there is more collaboration. We feel like we have more of a say or voice.

SS: Since the play revolves so much around what art is, has it made you question your own beliefs about art or just reinforced longheld ones?

CT: It speaks so much to the subjectivity of art, especially modern art. You have the Mona Lisa and everybody would qualify it as art. I’ve always been open-minded. If it’s creative with intent, it’s art. For Marc, it’s about the painting but it’s also not. It’s more about the friendship and the painting is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

SS: The play hinges on the idea of you three being really good friends. Did having worked

with each other before in productions help the camaraderie come together faster?

CT: Having known the guys before, it exponentially helps it. The danger of the play is the audience going, “Why would they even be friends? Why don’t they just leave the room?” But underneath it all they love each other.

So working together before helps that. Plus, we all live like a block away from each other [laughs].

SS: So what are your acting plans for the future?

CT: Katie Bakalars [his girlfriend and fellow thespian] and I are going to hit the audition circuits. I would to like to pursue and get some paid jobs. Who wouldn’t want to go to a job that puts a smile on their face?

There are always opportunities to make it for yourself finding a venue — that’ll let you put on a show. I’ve been impressed with La Crosse and its receptiveness to theatre. This is a breeding ground of talent.

SS: So one last question, what current pop cultural event do you think would make a good musical?

CT: I don’t know, is it too soon for a children’s show about the BP oil spill?

SS: Either that or maybe a romantic comedy musical called Oil and Water about a BP executive who falls in love with an environmentalist.

CT: We’ve got some golden ideas.

SS: It’s a Sandra Bullock/Hugh Grant just begging to be made.

Art is playing at Frederick Theatre, Morris Hall on the UW-L campus Aug. 6 and 7 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are available at the door only, one hour prior to each performance. Suggested ticket donation is $5 with the proceeds going to support UW-La Crosse theatre student scholarships.

— Jonathan Majak

The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Stimulius: Liquid Sky (1982) Director: Slava Tsukerman Starring: Anne Carlisle, Otto von Wernherr Writers: Slava Tsukerman, Anne Carlisle, Nina V. Kerova

I may have found my crapseeking limit.

I’m not sure what Liquid Sky meant to accomplish with its sordid tale of drugged-out hipsters and opiate aliens, but it’s certainly one of the dumbest, most crackheaded films I’ve ever seen.

The story focuses on Margaret (Carlisle), a Bowie-wannabe model who ingests drugs, lurches around and gets raped with equal frequency. Her immediate circle consists of a mongoloid-looking drug dealing girlfriend, an old hippie lover, and a slick, sneering, pretty boy enemy named Jimmy.

(He’s also played, wonderfully badly, by Carlisle, who in this guise sounds like a 15-yearold boy trying to buy beer.) Beyond the hippie, none of these people are what you’d describe as rational. Indeed, almost nobody in this film is. All the characters either jitter around like epileptics or strike morose poses and come off as pretentious assholes.

There’s no in-between.

After a U.F.O. the size of a dinner plate lands on the roof of Margaret’s apartment, the alien within watches her make a fool of herself. That evening, the Mongoloid (who is the worst element of the film) gives a horrible musical performance where she raps about her “rhythm box.” Then the cool kids put on a vapid fashion show, and Margaret gets raped by an Andrew McCarthy doppelganger. Following the degradation, the alien makes poor Margaret its champion and sets her loose to kill villains through orgasm, which somehow turns their brains into crystals. Whatever.

The production in this movie is ridiculous. Awkward editing and jarring jumps to

Have an opinion?

Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com.

Letters should be signed and include phone number for verification purposes.

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solarized negative weaken the film on the visual end, but what’s worse is that Liquid Sky may boast the worst score of any film, ever.

It’s as though the director injected a monkey with heroin and forced it to play a synthesizer.

Still, I will give the film a few positive points. Occasionally, Margaret becomes eerily interesting, and the knife fight she gets into with the Mongoloid (over the hippie’s dead, naked body) is pretty swell. And I’m always a fan of dumb Deus ex Machina, which this film delivers in U.F.O. form. Yet the very best thing about this film is the giant German astrophysicist and his sweet wavy ’70s hair, high-ridin’ pants, and red leather jacket. Coming to America to stop the alien, he fights off Jimmy’s horned-up mom in his quest for intergalactic justice. And it’s damn hard to fight off a line like “you have a laser gun in your pants?” What a champ!

Yet our Teutonic hero can’t save Liquid Sky. It’s so vacant, so hopelessly fashionable, that I wouldn’t be surprised if Lady Gaga soon starred in a remake.

— Brett Emerson

The Screening Room Medium: Film Salt (2010) Director: Phillip Noyce Cast: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor Writer: Kurt Wimmer

Salt is a preposterous, bloated spy thriller that does not appear so preposterous and bloated while in progress. It requires of its audience an unshakable willing suspension of disbelief, and in return keeps its end of the bargain, with leading lady Angelina Jolie leaping onto speeding 18-wheelers, effortlessly gunning down Russian spies and CIA agents alike, and immobilizing her would-be captors while handcuffed in the back of an SUV. Salt doles out one smart, well-executed action scene after another. It could pass as a very expensive b-movie, or as the first entry in a potential blockbuster action series.

Jolie’s CIA officer, Evelyn Salt, spends the majority of the movie on the run following accusations of working for a ring of Russian spies bent on reigniting the Cold War. She is chased by Winter (Schreiber), who believes she is innocent and wants to protect her, and by Peabody (Ejiofor), who believes she is guilty and wants to kill her.

We do not immediately know the truth — does it matter? It is action for action’s sake.

It is easy to get lost in these scenes, to forget who is chasing her or why. Like last week’s Inception, Salt is exhilarating enough to grant audiences permission to enjoy themselves without calling immediate attention to the surrounding mayhem and illogicality. There is enough hammy dialogue and superhero-like physicality here to fill a dozen pulp comics. This is intentional, done in honor of the genre and in the name of fun.

It is clear the filmmakers had a great time making Salt — why should we not have a great time watching it?

— Nick Cabreza

Second Supper

The MAJAK MiXtAPe

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Oh Mad Men, how the Mixtape has missed your television presence. After spending the summer trying to get into the softcore porn that is True Blood, you’re a welcome return in your dapper suits, fl ip hairdos and raging cases of sexism, racism and a host of other -isms that escape us at the moment. So to honor your well-tailored season four on AMC, the Mixtape is putting together a mix we’re calling “Mad Mix, Where the Groove Lies.”

First up is two-hit wonder Amerie and her tune “Gotta Work,” a song plucked from the promos for Mad Men, off her album Because I Love It. The swaggering bit of go-go funk that samples Sam and Dave’s “Hold On, I’m Comin” was perfectly placed in commercials for the series, the stuttering beats against the images of curvy Joan Holloway and weasel-y Pete Campbell. Criminally underrated, Amerie has now resorted to add-

MUSIC ing another “I” to her name, making herself Ameriie, to refl ect a “positive energy.” Somewhere, Don Draper is rolling his eyes while sipping his tenth Scotch of the morning.

Next up is a sweet mash-up done by a bedroom DJ named Hulk Mash who has paired the Bjork-style vocals of Ellie Goulding and her tune “Starry Eyed” with the bubblegum pop of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” to make a kooky but somehow seamless blend of a tune that the secretaries at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce could dance to between typing up letters and avoiding having their asses patted by a perma-tipsy Roger Sterling. The mash-up is available free from Hulk Mash’s webpage: (fairtilizer.com/ users/bevander/)

Lastly is Best Coast and their tune “This is Real” off their debut Crazy For You. Specializing in a lo-fi take on surf pop, the duo of Bethany Cosentino and musical partner Bob Bruno put together a fuzzy take on a love tune with the requisite 1960s handclaps and Phil Spector-esque “Be My Baby” like beat interloped in portions. You can practically see the Annette Funicello shenanigans playing out when you hear the tune, which is probably both a blessing and curse.

Buy: Best Coast, "Crazy For You"

YouTube: Count and Siden featuring Mystery Jets, “After Dark” music video

Read: For shits and giggles, read Awful Library Books (http://awfullibrarybooks. wordpress.com/) — Jonathan Majak

cist.

Medium: Album Stimulus: BT — These Hopeful Machines

I’ve always been divided when it comes to BT. Everything I’ve heard from the artist features highly produced, top-line electronic music that isn’t afraid of song structure while avoiding formula and repetition. The problem I have with BT is that when his songs feature vocalists, these people always blurt out contrived romantic sentiments, seemingly written by the world’s biggest pussy. Without fail, that is what happens on the two discs that comprise These Hopeful Machines. The music is panoramic and ridiculously danceable. The lyrics suck.

Thus, it’s easy to gravitate toward instrumental tracks like “Rose of Jericho” and “Le Nocturne de Lumiere,” which rush and sweep the listener along with orchestral rhythms. Yet if one can get past the awful lyricism on the vocal tracks, there’s a lot to enjoy here as well.

The chorus of “The Emergency” may include nonsense drivel such as “You’re I love you,” but the song’s cutting beats and pulses produce one of the album’s best tracks. Similarly, “Suddenly” is a roaring pop single scuffed by clichés exalting emotion and fate. What remains is a vast array of styles ranging from explosive to contemplative, every track a different exercise in craftsmanship.

Maybe BT just needs to hire a new lyri-

Stimulus: Scissor Sisters – Night Work

The impression I’ve taken from the Scissor Sisters’ new album is that the band is cashing in some of its Bee Gees disco sleaze for the more neon-colored perversions of the ’80s. The band’s old wails show up in the lounging “Whole New Way” and the absurdly seedy “Any Which Way,” but most of Night Work is newer old school.

The title track opens the disc with “Funky Town” via “Physical,” “Running Out” pops up in the middle of the album waving a hint of Oingo Boingo, and “Invisible Light” caps everything off by mixing Scissor Sisters disco with Frankie Goes to Hollywood meets Animotion’s “Obsession.” Continuing the retro scheme, “Nightlife” is a quick and satisfying blast of New Wave, while Jake Shears breaks out a neat little Iggy Pop vamp in “Harder You Get” and Ana Matronic takes on her sole lead vocal alongside creeping beatboxing synths in “Skin this Cat.” An unexpected winner is the slow build of “Fire with Fire,” which begins as a lameass piano/ guitar ballad that burst halfway through into dance and violins, sounding as though it might have belonged in an inspirational coming-of-age fi lm.

Perhaps because the Sisters’ choices of style and infl uence are so scattered on this album, Night Work’s imitations rarely feel like cheap or stale retrospectives. No matter how derivative the songs may be, the Scissor Sisters know how to make them work.

— Brett Emerson

July 29, 2010 // 7

8// July 29, 2010

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // July 30 to August 5 fridaY,

just a roadie away

July 30

Minneapolis

boot hill pub // 1501 St. Andrew St. Mark & Janette Hanson (guitar/vocal duo, in the beer garden) • 7 p.m.

population

Chromeo, Holy Ghost! // AUG. 7 First Avenue • $18.75

JB'sSpeakeasy // 717 Rose St. The 69 Band (rock/blues) • 10 p.m.

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros // AUG. 9

Cabooze • $26

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dr. Lee & the Terminally Chill Band (classic rock, blues) •10 p.m.

Phoenix // AUG. 12 State Theatre • $35 Stone Temple Pilots // AUG. 13 Roy Wilkins Auditorium • $50.50 - $475

Neuie's North Star // 1732 George St. CODY (rock) • 8 p.m.

Neuie's varsity club // 1920 Ward Ave. Sellout (rock) • 9 p.m.

Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Kokopelliens (jam grass) • 5 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon and the Misbehavers (blues) • 8 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Matt Ray and Those Damn Horses (bluegrass) •10 p.m.

The FLIPSIDE // 400 Lang Drive Katrina Rose (sister act) • 9 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. White Iron Band (drunk rock) • 10 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Driftwood, Cherokee Yell (folk/blues) • 8:30 p.m.

saturdaY,

July 31

JB'sSpeakeasy // 717 Rose St. Proto Melee, Guitartar, Front Toward Enemy (rock/metal) • 10 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Perry Weber & the Devilles (blues) •10 p.m.

Nell's city grill // 1111 S. Third St. Karl Friedline (baritone) • 6 p.m.

387,970

Matt Ray and Those Damn Horses don’t only have the perfect name for a not-too-serious roots revival band, it also has the right instruments and an infectious, foot-stomping sound. The group is fronted by Matt Ray, a four-string banjo (and kazoo) player who was raised on the prairies of western Minnesota and performs with several bands and also as a solo act. Those Damn Horses are a unique ensemble that collectively play guitar, harmonica, washtub bass, spoons, jug, washboard, fiddle, drums and other random percussion. In concert, Matt Ray and Those Damn Horses are a hard-driving group that dips into the old-time catalog while also whipping up something uniquely modern. The group will perform at the Popcorn Tavern on Friday, July 30, beginning at 10 p.m.

north side oasis // 620 Gillette St. Geared Under (rock) • 9:30 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm with Baron Von Volume (Palm Sunday) • 4 p.m.

piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon and the Misbehavers (blues) • 8 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Feathe (acoustic alternative) • 8:30 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Kin Pickin' (jam grass) • 10 p.m.

mondaY,

August 2

The krazy 'l' // 518 Hagar St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (April Salek [Leitner] memorial) • 8:30 p.m.

Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Open jam • 10 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. A Crush on Yesterday (indie) • 8:30 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

Riverside park Str8Up, T.U.G.G. (Coulee Region Race entertainment) • 9 a.m.

tuesdaY,

August 3

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m.

sundaY,

August 1

French slough // 1311 La Crescent St. Kin Pickin’ (jam grass) • Noon Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. The Sunday Blend(rock) • 10 p.m.

wednesdaY,

August 4

bAND SHELL // Riverside Park La Crosse Concert Band ("More Sousa!!!" ) • 7:30 p.m.

The Black Crowes // AUG. 15 Minnesota Zoo Amphitheater• $48.50 Gov’t Mule, Jackie Green// AUG. 21 Cabooze • $28

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Bad Axe Jam (gear provided) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Jazz Liver (jazz) • 10 p.m. recovery room // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin’ (open jam) • 10 p.m.

thursday,

August 5

Freight House // 107 Vine St. Dan Sebranek (back deck) • 8 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Fuzzy HD (rock) • 10 p.m.

Southside neighborhood center // 1300 S. Sixth St. Muddy Flats and the Hepcats (olde time blues) • 7 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Second Supper

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LoCation

July 29, 2010 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

mondaY

tuesdaY

wednesdaY

thursdaY

fridaY

saturdaY

ArenA

sundaY

Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.

Closed

Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas

Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BodeGA Brew pUB

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677

Brothers

Closed

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

FeAtUres

Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30- Taco buffet 11-2; 8:30, Free bowling after 9 $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

howie’s

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's.

FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours.

4-9 p.m.

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

impUlse

Closed

Closed

Karaoke 9 p.m.-Close; Happy Hour daily 5-8

Wine & martini night; Happy Hour daily 5-8

18+ night (1st and 3rd Thursday of each month); Happy Hour daily 5-8

$25 open bar package, 11 p.m. to Happy Hour daily 5-8 close: domestic/import beer, rail, call drinks, martinis; Happy Hour daily 5-8

JB’s speAkeAsy

$1.75 domestic bottles

SIN Night

$1.75 domestic bottles

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

214 Main St. 782-6010

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

717 Rose St. 796-1161

sChmidty’s 3119 State Road 788-5110

sloopy's AlmA mAter 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

sports nUt

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)

Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

15-cent wings

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6)

$8.99 12-ounce T-bone

2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 15-cent wings

801 Rose St. 784-1811

the liBrAry

Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Beer Pong Tourney and and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks wristband night

123 3rd St. 784-8020

top shots

$3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas

$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)

137 4th St. 782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)

trAin stAtion BBQ

Ask for great eats

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95

who's on third

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95

$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles To advertise here, call (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.

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10// July 29, 2010

Maze Efflux

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS "Waiting to inhale" Don't hold your breath

By Erich Boldt

By Matt Jones

The Beer Review Fest Capital Brewery Middleton, Wisconsin

By most metrics, the summer of 2010 hasn’t been an especially pleasant one.

We’ve been beset by rampant joblessness, failing wars, environmental destruction, political gridlock, record heat waves, record rain, bad pop music and an atrocious Milwaukee Brewers pitching staff, but all is not lost, readers. I’m happy to report that no year has had better summer beers. In the midst of these trying times that make you want to reach out for a cold one, American microbrewers answered the call by rolling out new lines of thirst-quenching beers. To this reviewer, the Sierra Nevada Summerfest, New Belgium Skinny Dip and New Glarus Moon Man have all stood out in 2010 for their refreshing spins on pilsners, blonde ales and American pale ales, respectively, and to this list of summer all-stars we can now add Capital Brewery’s recently revived (and enigmatically named) Fest. It turns out that Fest is actually a Marzen, more commonly known as an Oktoberfest, which makes its June release all the more surprising. I usually associate Mazens with turning leaves and football games, but dang if this summer seasonal doesn’t hit the spot.

Fest pours a clear copper color, a little lighter than most Marzens, with a bub-

bly white head that has poor retention.

The aroma is especially sweet and malty for a summer beer, with a rich profile of freshly baked crackers, brown sugar and nutmeg. Truthfully I can’t think of any autumn Oktoberfests that have a more Appearance: 6 robust aroma, but it’s been sevAroma: 7 eral months since I tried another.

Taste: 8 The taste reminds me of toast topped Mouthfeel: 10 with butter and brown sugar, which Drinkability: 8 could probably be overbearing in the hands of a lesser Total: 39 brewer, but Kirby Nelson finishes this one off with aplomb. The hop splashes come perfect at the finish, giving Fest that “dry leaf” taste that I find mysteriously appealing, especially in warmer months.

The mouthfeel is luxuriously rich, like uncongealed pudding, yet the hops have a supremely drinkable finish that makes Fest an excellent choice for barbequing or just hanging outside. According to the Capital Web site, Fest is a multi-award winning beer that was put into “hibernation” in 2007 but returned this year as a seasonal offering. That’s great news, because in this summer of discontent, we’ll take all the joy we can get.

— Adam Bissen

ACROSS 1 He gives canned responses 6 Fall flower 11 Adobe file ext.

14 One-named singer who guest starred on "The Love Boat" 15 Surplus 16 Regret 17 Currency in Istanbul 19 "Son of" in Arabic names 20 Quebec neighbor: abbr.

21 Be loud with the bells 22 Andrew ___ Webber 24 2003 Tom Cruise film set in Japan 28 ___Pen (injection for allergic reactions) 29 TV show retroactively subtitled "Las Vegas" 30 Strange 36 Go down like a rock

40 Puppy, say 41 Baby garments with snaps 43 Meadow noise 44 Basket or head follower 46 Take a tour of the Serengeti 48 "___ Stoops to Conquer" 50 Couch ___ ("The Simpsons" opening bit) 51 1982 Julie Andrews gender-bender 59 Buzzing with excitement 60 It wafts in the air 61 Org. with Dirk and Dwyane 63 11 of 12: abbr.

64 Office building problem that's a hint to this puzzle's theme entries (see their last three letters) 68 Dir. opposite SSW

Answers to July 22 puzzle Vow your head ... And keep on going

69 Author Calvino 70 Tuesday, in New Orleans 71 "Atlas Shrugged" author Rand 72 Reese of "Touched by an Angel" 73 Messed (with) DOWN 1 Prefix for -pus or -mom 2 Surgical device that diverts blood 3 Hotwiring heists 4 Boat with two toucans 5 Louis XVI, e.g.

6 Word repeated in "Ring Around the Rosie" 7 Bug-squishing noise 8 Flip option 9 Go off course 10 Domains 11 Previous 12 Bush II 13 Upscale handbag maker 18 Microdermabrasion site 23 Guzman of "Traffic" 25 Gp. with emission standards 26 Ride to a red carpet 27 Field measurements 30 For checkers, it's black and white 31 Grant-granting gp.

32 1950s-60s actress Stevens 33 Sign shared by Ben

and Casey Affleck 34 Bar opener?

35 "You Will Be My ___ True Love" (song from "Cold Mountain") 37 Like some childhood friends 38 "That's neither here ___ there" 39 Carp in a pond 42 Starch that comes from palms 45 It is, in Iquitos 47 In the distance 49 Totally awful 51 She used to turn, but now taps 52 O. Henry specialty 53 Witch group 54 Far from meek 55 Pastoral poem 56 Drink on a ski trip 57 Carson Daly's old MTV show, for short 58 Follow the rules 62 Dry as a bone 65 Season opposite hiver 66 Accident victim helper 67 ___ De Jing (classic Chinese text) For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0476.

Visit us online at www.secondsupper.com

Second Supper

July 29, 2010 // 11

THE LAST WORD

The ADviCe GODDess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Home invasion is where the heart is

A girl in my college accounting class came to my mom’s house, where I live, to study with me for a test. While she was there, burglars broke in, made us strip to our underwear, then bound and gagged us. We were tied in chairs, back to back, but were able to hold hands. (We weren’t hurt, and my mom came home and untied us a couple of hours later.) I’ve always been attracted to this woman, but she has a boyfriend. However, our experience intensified my crush. Are feelings generated in a trauma legitimate? Should I make my feelings known?

— Rope Burns

Sorry I took so long answering your question, but I got abducted by aliens and they didn’t have Wi-Fi on the mothership.

If you’ll believe me, I’ll believe you — and forget that your question sounds like the script to a G-rated porno: You both strip

down, get tied up, and then the crooks leave and your Mom comes in with a plate of cookies and a box-cutter.

It is possible that danger amped up your feelings of attraction. The intuitive explanation is that you bonded over a shared scary experience. It’s hypothesized by researchers (but not yet well supported by evidence) that there’s “misattribution of arousal”: mistaking revved-up feelings from a scary situation for feelings of attraction.

Anthropologist Helen Fisher speculates in “Why We Love” that “danger is novel to most of us” and “novelty elevates levels of dopamine - the chemical associated with romantic love.” (That was your brain on accounting. … This is your brain on drugs.)

You can make your feelings known to this girl, but you for sure shouldn’t make an announcement. (Announcements are for lost dogs, fi re drills and airplane gate changes.) Proclaiming your interest will not only be embarrassing for both of you, she’s sure to tell you what you already know — that she has a boyfriend — and leave it at that. Instead, take her out for drinks and try to kiss her afterward. She can always turn you down, and you can always blame it on the alcohol and go back to being study buddies.

Act like it isn’t a big deal, and it shouldn’t be (avoid the temptation to lean over your textbook and ask, “Get tied up here often?”).

Then again, if she likes kissing you, she might end up “confused” about her relationship, which is the gateway drug to maybe ending it and seeing if there’s anything “legitimate” with you. If girlfriend-

poaching is against your principles, you could say something to her — not in some big pronouncement-type way, but with an offhand remark: “Hey, if you ever ditch that boyfriend of yours, I’d love to take you out for dinner and a mugging.”

Swept off her feed

I’ve been dating a woman for three months, but told her that I don’t ever see getting serious with her. Initially, she seemed fine with keeping things casual, but lately, she’s been teasing me, asking how long we have to date before I change my Facebook relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship.” Hers says “single,” but I get the feeling that if I changed mine, she’d change hers pronto.

serious side effects. Facebook is a cesspool of ill-advised revelations, with some privacy settings, and just like in an arrest, you have the right to remain silent, and should probably use it more often than not.

You’ve already informed your, uh, insignifi cant other of your relationship status. If your feelings are unlikely to change, gently make that known so she doesn’t hang around nursing false hope. While you’re at it, you might change your relationship status on Facebook to the default — not yet fi lled out. In the future, you can provide it on a need-to-know basis, like when the dinner party host wonders if there’s a plus-one, and when you’re ordering at Starbucks: “I’ll have a tall Americano and my life partner here will have a grande mocha with whip.”

— Socially Networked

This friend of a friend of a friend “friended” me on Facebook. OK, fi ne, I friended him back. A few days later, barely awake, I signed on Facebook to the announcement “Josh Fakename is in an open relationship.” Don’t know the guy, never met the guy, but at least I don’t have to wonder whether he’s having sex with multiple partners.

Welcome to the Too Much Information Age. People sign up for Facebook or start blogging and tweeting without giving much thought to what their personal privacy policy will be. Because a button exists for them to give out information, they go ahead and do it. But, this isn’t the doctor’s offi ce, where keeping secrets can cause death or other

Sudoku

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

?

It's a pretty obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it.

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY TUESDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers

SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

From page 4

12// July 29, 2010

Second Supper

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For more information about our Android: visit uscellular.com/android or call 1-888-BUY-USCC Things we want you to know: New two-year agreement (subject to early termination fee) and credit approval required. A $30 activation fee may apply. Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee applies; this is not a tax or government-required charge. Additional fees, taxes, terms, conditions and coverage areas apply and vary by plan, service and phone. Use of service constitutes acceptance of the terms of our Customer Service Agreement. Promotional Phone subject to change. Mail-in rebate will be paid by U.S. Cellular in the form of a U.S. Cellular Visa Debit Card. U.S. Cellular Visa Debit Card issued by MetaBank pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Allow 10–12 weeks for processing. Card does not have cash access and can be used at any merchant location that accepts Visa Debit Cards. Card valid for 120 days after issued. Required Data Plan is $30 per month. Application and data network usage charges may apply when accessing applications. $20 Virtual Account: $20 virtual accounts are issued by MetaBank. Credit must be redeemed by 11/1/10. Customer must have or create a Google Checkout account in order to redeem.

Credit will be processed within 4 to 8 hours and provided to customer via e-mail. Once redeemed, credit is valid for 120 days. Virtual account funds can be used only for online purchases with Google Checkout. BOGO: Buy one handset and get a second handset for free. Mail-in rebate and activation required on each handset. See store for details or visit uscellular.com. Limited-time offer. Android, Android Market, Gmail and Google Maps are all trademarks of Google, Inc. Trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. ©2010 U.S. Cellular.