Second Supper

EE FR

INSIDE: PIZZA LOVERS' SPECIALS FROM TOPPERS (PAGE 2) AND BREADEAUX PIZZA (PAGE 7)

VOLUME 10, NO. 5 | FEBRUARY 11, 2010

• Romance on a shoestring • Dating tips • Dating has fallen on hard times Page 6

Court strikes blow against value of the individual The Last Word • Page 15

ALSO ...

Kind has financial advantage

Page 4

Actors shine in '5,000 Lbs.'

Page 8

PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING • PAGE 2 | THE ADVICE GODDESS: MALE LUST USUALLY HAS A WEIGHT LIMIT • PAGE 12

2// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

Social Networking

NAME AND AGE: Sarah Morgan, 23 WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Naples, Italy CURRENT JOB: Mom DREAM JOB: Something in art or music. I want to write a book, too. Maybe.

Probably.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Jim Gaffigan quotes IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? I'd want to travel around and stop if I felt like it.

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE? Live off the grid.

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? A farm to live on with my family and freinds.

CELEBRITY CRUSH: Clive Owen FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Uhh ... NSync. Sorry.

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Chocolate milk WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? "The Sparrow," by Mary Doria Russell TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: TV and movies WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Phonies TELL US A JOKE: Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide. My friend Esme told me that one.

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Groceries, to make soup.

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Nothing. I'm wearing a dress.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? I like the crossword. Also, some of the contributors are funny guys and gals.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHUGGYPOP (INTERVIEWER)?

We met once upon a time in downtown La Crosse. I like his bike.

Second Supper

February 11, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Things To Do Romance her with dance

The Top

Couples 1. Romeo & Juliet 2. Sonny & Cher 3. John & Yoko 4. Porgy & Bess 5. Bonnie & Clyde 6. Antony & Cleopatra 7. Siegfried & Roy Love stories 1. "The Sun Also Rises" 2. "Visions of Johanna" 3. "Annie Hall" 4. "Reuben & Cherise" 5. "Chasing Amy" 6. "Rumours" 7. "Casablanca"

Trust us: For many women, there is nothing more romantic than gliding across the dance floor with their partner to the sounds of a big band. There's no big band, but the Moonlight Dance Club & Studio invites everyone to join its members for a Valentines Day dance from 8:30 to 11:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 12, at The Waterfront Restaurant and Tavern ballroom, 328 Front St. Your lady likely will appreciate it even more if the date includes the free introductory lessons (swing, foxtrot and rumba) being offered beginning at 7:30 p.m. We promise this will earn you points, and it's not that expensive: only $5 per person. A DJ will play romantic and fun music selections throughout the night. For more information, visit moonlightdanceclub.com or contact Kathy or Kellen Burgos at (608) 519-1995 or MoonlightDanceClub@gmail.com.

1

Enjoy a flashback

Flashback, a classic rock band that covers popular music primarily from the '80s, headlines a benefit show Saturday, Feb. 13, at The Varsity Club, 1920 Ward Ave. Realtors Rock for a Cause will raise funds for Irving Pertzsch Elementary School, Eagle Bluff Environmental Field Trip Fund and Sunshine Kids, an organization that helps children with cancer.

Abbey Lane opens the show at 7:30 p.m. Flashback, a band featuring five veteran musicians from the La Crosse area, should take the stage about 9 p.m. They will be joined by vocalist Rose Sobotta. In addition to the music, there will be games, raffles, silent auction, prizes, kissing booth and appearances by members of the La Crosse Spartans.

Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 day of the show. For information, call (608) 788-1919.

2

Featuring New York Deli-Style Corned Beef Sandwiches.

Regular, Reuben & Pusan.

Check Out Daily Food Specials

Support a folk singer

"I’m no Emily Dickinson, and certainly no Shakespeare," folk singer Kevin Steinman admits on his MySpace page. But that interest in poetry harmonized well with an interest in music and has led Steinman to make significant inroads in the music industry. That talent will be on display when stops at the Cellar in the Cartwright Center on the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse campus for a concert at 7 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 18. In the past decade, Steinman has performed for the Today Show, at Carnegie Hall, and headlined the Philadelphia Folk Festival. Admission is free.

3

Listen attentively

4

Poet Lightsey Darst will be featured Thursday, Feb. 18, at the Pump House Regional Arts Center's reading series. Darst also is a dance writer and adjunct instructor at various colleges in the Twin Cities. Her manuscript, "Find the Girl," will be published in April by Coffee House Press, and her chapbook, "Ginnungagap," is available from Red Dragonfly Press. Her reading begins at 7 p.m. For information, contact the Pump House, 119 King St., at (608) 785-1434.

Buy a boat

OK, buying a boat is likely not in the immediate future of most Second Supper readers, or most La Crosse residents, or most people in general. But it's fun to dream. And the annual Boat, Sport and Travel Show at the La Crosse Center provides not only plenty of wet dreams, as in boats, that is, but also a plethora of other products, services, tips and ideas for sportsmen, and women, of all ilks. The show is open from 5 to 10 p.m. Thursday, noon to 10 p.m. Friday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Saturday and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $6 for adults, $3 for children 6-17. For information, visit lacrossecenter.com .

5

COMMENTARY

4// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

The WisPolitics.com Stock Report

214 Main Street impulseoflacrosse.com Downtown La Crosse 608.782.6010 (Across from US Bank)

RISING

MIXED

FALLING

RON KIND'S WARCHEST

PUBLIC ACCESS

MIKE SHERIDAN

Republicans have their sights set on the three Democrat congressmen. But insiders say the financial edges all three have on their opponents show just how difficult knocking them off could be. Ron Kind of La Crosse has eight times as much in the bank as GOP opponent Dan Kapanke, a state senator. Steve Kagen of Appleton has $552,601 cash on hand — not to mention deep personal pockets — while only one of his opponents has more than $50,000 in the bank. Insiders say the 8th Congressional District challengers are having a hard time raising money, in part, because donors are waiting to see who emerges from the seven-person primary. Republicans Every 1st & 3rd Thursday have been talking up of the month Sean Duffy in his race against Dave Obey ___________ ________________ Ron Kind of Wausau, and the Ashland County D.A. is mentioned by Time magazine as one of 10 Republicans who could be the next Scott Brown come fall. Still, the AppropriaOpen bar access to: tions chair has $1.1 million in the bank, five times the money Duffy has. Insiders Domestic/Import Beer, from both sides say Kapanke’s challenge of Kind is struggling right now, while they’re Rail, Call Drinks keeping an eye on the 7th to see if Duffy & Martinis poses a real challenge to Obey.

____________ Tuesdays _________

Karaoke 9 - Close Wednesdays _________ Wine & Martini Night

_________

__________ Thursdays ___________________________ 18+ Night

Fridays Open Bar Package 11pm - Close $25

Fridays & Saturdays DJ w/ Music Videos & Dancing 9pm - Close Happy Hour Daily 4 - 9

is smoke free Always Free Juke Box Tues - Thurs: 4:00 pm - 2:00 am Fri - Sat: 4:00 pm - 2:30 am

PAUL RYAN

The darling of the conservative movement is taking on an ever more prominent role in the national conversation over the nation’s fiscal situation. He goes toe-to-toe with President Obama during a House GOP conference that made for gripping TV, and he grills Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner over the president’s budget proposal and its forecasted budget deficits.

Conservatives heap praise upon Ryan for his performance, believing he exemplifies what others in the GOP should aspire to be: Someone taking tough positions on federal spending and — just as importantly — willing to put it down on paper as a road map for others to follow. But that's now made Ryan a target for liberals, who say Ryan’s plan amounts to the privatization of Social Security and Medicare. One national lefty blogger mocks it for taking decades to balance the budget while heaping pain upon Americans. Dems question where Ryan’s sense of fiscal responsibility was during the Bush years, when he voted for the president’s budgets that drove a rising federal deficit. Even Ryan’s fans acknowledge he has some votes that are troublesome, like supporting the original bailouts for banks and automakers. But in Wisconsin, Republicans and conservative talk radio still tout a national star in the making who has the potential to be a player in 2012.

The public’s right to know could shrink if some lawmakers have their way.

Lawmakers have two bills before them to limit the public’s access to certain information, though it’s unclear if either will become law. An Assembly committee deadlocks on a bill that would limit the public’s access to CCAP — the online circuit court records Web site popular with employers, landlords, opposition research specialists and media. Proponents of the changes say they’re not trying to cut off access to the information. It would still be available for public inspection, but only at the courthouse. Putting the information online makes it too easy to abuse the system, they say. Another bill would limit access to recorded 911 calls, a move some argue for to protect the families of crime victims from having to relive their tragedies on the evening newscast. Public access proponents howl at the changes, insisting there should be more access to such information, not less.

TOMMY THOMPSON

Another political year, more speculation on a Tommy comeback. Sources indicate Thompson recently met with national Republicans in Washington, D.C. to give the U.S. Senate race a once over, and some GOP insiders continue to believe he's the party’s best shot to take out Dem Russ Feingold. Thompson has the name ID, the fundraising ability and the golden touch on the campaign trail, they say. Dems are more skeptical of Thompson’s attraction as a candidate.

Why would a public angry with WashingTommy Thompson ton want to vote for a guy who’s become the consummate D.C. insider? Thompson’s record and lucrative business ties would also provide plenty of fodder for attack ads. Republicans have been through the Thompson tease before and are still skeptical he’s serious this time, even as some of his fans insist he is. One knowledgeable Tommy fan puts the chances of a Senate bid at 55 percent — closer than most imagined just a few weeks ago. As the debate goes back and forth, one insider says it seems everyone has a doctorate in Thompson’s thinking, but none of them seem to really know what’s going to happen. Those trying to read the tea leaves note the recent announcement that Thompson will be a hedge fund adviser, saying that adding to an already full list of current jobs isn't usually the step one takes in preparation to run for office. Still, Republicans believe Feingold is vulnerable — if they can find the right candidate, and some believe Thompson fits the bill.

The Capitol rumor mill kicks into overdrive for a second week as the Assembly speaker acknowledges he dated a lobbyist for the payday loan industry. Reporters go on the hunt for the next shoe to drop — if there is one. Sheridan initially blew off questions about his personal relationship with the lobbyist as reporters asked him whether he was the target of a coup attempt.

But he acknowledges the personal relationship to his hometown newspaper, though he denies it created any kind of conflict for him. Reports that Sheridan is living outside of his district Mike Sheridan and questions about incomplete travel information in his campaign finance filing cause more ripples in the Capitol, and Dems brace for the possibility of other bad news. No lawmaker has stepped forward to publicly call for Sheridan to step down, and insiders say there are two reasons for that. For Dems, there are only a handful of caucus members with the ability to be the speaker, and they’re all on Sheridan’s side so far. For Republicans, there are probably enough skeletons in their own closets that they’re not going to be the ones throwing stones. Some say no Dems would step forward to challenge Sheridan until they knew for sure they had the votes to take him out. You only shoot at the king when you know you won’t miss, one Dem says.

Sheridan takes his lumps in the editorial pages, which take little pity on him.

Still, some insiders argue this is about two consenting adults and the issue has turned into more than it should.

PAYDAY LENDERS

Assembly Speaker Mike Sheridan was seen by many as a major road block to proposed changes reining in payday lenders. But the shakeout from the Sheridan admission means the Assembly will have to pass some kind of reforms just to give the speaker cover against suspicions that he was unduly influenced by his personal relationship, insiders conclude. In 2007, Sheridan co-sponsored legislation to cap payday loan interest rates. But he said last fall that such limits went too far, suggesting the industry should be regulated in some other way. Many saw that as the death knell for any significant restrictions on the industry. But Sheridan tells reporters in a series of interviews that he supports a “strong bill” to regulate the industry. Insiders say he has little choice now. Supporters plan to unveil a new bill early next week, and insiders say opponents’ best hope to stopping the legislation now rests with the Senate.

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Dispatches from HQ New boutique, Lark, should be open by April

Clothing designer Andrea Fisher's new women's boutique will be named Lark.

The store will be in the Batavian Building at 319 Main St. Fisher, a native of Cleveland, attended the Pratt Institute in New York, where she studied fashion design, and has been running a shop in Brooklyn selling all her own creations for the past 10 years. Prior to opening her Brooklyn shop, Fisher did vintage clothing restoration for another New York shop for five years.

Fisher relocated to La Crosse in August with her husband, who got a job teaching at UW-La Crosse. Fisher describes her designs as "work appropriate but unique with an individual twist." The demographic she designs for are "women ages 30 to 65 who want something fun and refreshing." Since everything will be produced locally, her outfits can be tailored to fit, she says. Keeping things local is important to Fisher, but she also notes her prices are cheaper than a lot of the mass produced items that are made overseas. Aside from looking forward to being able to bicycle to work, Fisher is excited to be a part of the downtown community and wants to see the clothing, jewelry, handbags, scarves, etc., others in the area are coming up with, some of which she hopes to sell out of her store on consignment. Fisher says Lark will be fully up and running by April 1. For more info, contact Andrea at (608) 782-0046.

Art sale benefits Haiti relief efforts

Gallery La Crosse, 320 Main St., is hosting an art sale to help fund Red Cross earthquake relief efforts in Haiti. Local artists participating in the show, which continues until Saturday, Feb. 13, are donating 40 percent of the selling price; several artists already have offered to donate 100 percent.

Entry fees for all works in the show are also being donated, and all commissions normally charged by Gallery La Crosse are being waived. Since its opening Feb. 3, the benefit has raised $235 as of Second Supper press time. For more info, contact Ann at (608) 782-4278 or by e-mail at GalleryLaCrosse@charter.net.

day through Friday, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, and other times by appointment. For more info, contact Louise at (608) 782-2009 or visit her Web site at heartsongcenter@ aol.com.

Local man still missing

Dozens of “Missing” posters have been hung around downtown, but the whereabouts of John Wiebke are still unknown.

The 45-year-old, a regular at Jules coffeeshop, was last seen by a friend on January 7 near the corner of 9th and Jackson streets.

He is described as a white male, 5 foot 10 inches tall, weighing about 180 pounds, and with brown hair that was recently shaved and green eyes. He was last seen wearing a brown jacket and blue jeans. Anyone with information onWiebke is advised to call the La Crosse Police Department at (608) 7855962.

UW-L literary journal accepting submissions

Steam Ticket, the UW-La Crosse English Department's literary journal, is accepting submissions for its thirteenth volume.

The student-run publication publishes short fiction, poetry, short creative nonfiction and artwork from around the nation and world. Submissions may be sent to steamticketjournal@gmail.com until March 15. More information, as well as submission guidelines, is available atsteamticket.org.

Willie Nelson coming to town

Break open your big bag of country hits and pass the news around, Willie Nelson is coming back to La Crosse. The Texas icon will play the La Crosse Center on Thursday, March 18 beginning at 8 p.m.

Tickets are $34.50 or $44.50 depending on seating and can be purchased now at Ticketmaster outlets or the La Crosse Center box office. There’s also a VIP package for $245, but admittance to Willie’s tour bus is not guaranteed.

Send your tips for Dispatches from HQ to editor@secondsupper.com.

Sisters developing 'heart' of downtown

Massage therapist Louise Keenan recently opened The Heart Song Center at 219 Pearl St. Having been a massage practitioner in the area for almost 20 years, as well as being involved in running The Violet Flame shop with her sister, Tina, at 309 Pearl St., Keenan hopes to help create what she refers to as the "heart" of downtown, focusing on holistic healing and spirituality.

Offering a variety of modalities, including deep tissue massage, lomi lomi, aromatherapy, hot stone massage and reflexology, Keenan is joined by fellow therapists Doug Ender and Josh Lindberg. Keenan plans to open a third shop in the same block, but details aren't being released yet. The Heart Song Center is open 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mon-

Second Supper is a weekly newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 E-mail: editor@secondsupper.com Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

February 11, 2010 // 5

6// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Romance on a shoestring: a dating guide for any lover's budget FREE

Take a hike: Nothing says love in La Crosse like a walk in the bluffs with your sweetie. Except, perhaps, a nightcap at the Alpine Inn.

Stargaze: Because the cosmos is sexy. All you need is a blanket and a quiet, dark place.

If you can’t work with that, then you’ve really got no game.

Check out local architecture: Say, from Cass Street castles to Riverside Park to the Big Blue Bridges to the Pettibone bathhouse.

Stroll the Shrine of Guadeloupe: Not only is it morally straight, it’s also beautiful.

Open mic night: But it’s probably not the best place to debut that heartfelt song about your new love — or your ex.

Go swimming: Hot fun in the summertime. Smart fun in the winter (assuming it’s in a pool).

Brewery tours: Because if beer’s going to bring you together, you should at least know where it comes from.

0-$5

Go to the zoo: Show your compassionate side while bringing out her animalistic one.

Get ice cream: Tall sundae, two spoons, one cherry: you’re good to go.

Get coffee: Much better conversation than a bar: It’s less noisy — and you’re more caffeinated.

Ice skating: Suave move if you’re graceful. But if you’re clumsy, stick to sledding.

Rent a movie: You can learn a lot about a person while browsing the aisles of a video store. Then there’s guaranteed couch time.

Go for a drive: You live in Coulee Country, right? Hop on a rural highway and get lost. It was good enough for your grandparents.

$5-15

Make dinner: Start with a partner stroll through the farmers market or co-op. Finish — well, that depends on how good your cooking is.

Go rummage saleing: A spontaneous way to spend a Saturday morning. If you’re over 30, go antiquing.

Go to the Rivoli: The movies are cheap, the pizza is awesome, and they serve beer.

Ain’t La Crosse grand?

See a Psychic: Maybe Gina knows something you don’t.

Sing karaoke: How do you think Tom Jones got the life he lives? By singing Tom Jones songs!

Play bingo: Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.

$15-30

Go bowling: Because if you can’t have fun in smooth-soled clown shoes, then you just can’t have fun.

Go dancing: Even if you’re terrible at it, she’ll appreciate it — probably.

Get sushi: It’s tasty, healthy, exotic, and fun. But no matter how much you want to make them, hold the raw fish jokes.

Take a cruise: The Julia Belle Swain, La

Dating tips for the 21st Century

By Emily Faeth

ers succumb to.

Always Google

I'm pretty sure Larry Page and Sergey Brin at least partially had the screening of potential suitors in mind when they launched Google in 1998. Don't think of Googling your date's name as stalking — think of it as checking the references of a potential employee.

It's really quite amazing what you can find out by doing a simple name search, unless your date happens to have a very common name.

In that case, you can always check out their court records. Luckily, in Wisconsin, we can access that information, so just go to http:// wcca.wicourts.gov to find out if Mr. Right also happens to be Mr. Seventh-Offense-DUI.

Ignore Cosmo

You know those “30 Tips to Snag Your Man” many women's magazines regurgitate every month? They're dumb. They're usually culled from a random poll of a certain demographic — say, 30-something men in Manhattan — and they're unlikely to apply to most average dudes in La Crosse. Plus, it's just a bad idea to generalize about people. Everyone's into different things, so your new guy isn't necessarily going to like the same things your ex, or Sam from Albany, do. Take the time to learn more about your new flame instead of falling back on the same “twirl your hair and gaze into his eyes” tips countless oth-

Facebook or text instead of calling

At least right away. Think about how often you actually have a telephone conversation with your friends, as opposed to texting with them. Not too often, right? Much to the chagrin of older folks in our society, young people are turning more and more to textbased communication, in large part because texting or chatting seems to remove much of the pressure phone calls apparently create.

Plus, friending an acquaintance you're interested in on Facebook can give you a chance to get to know them better without coming off as overly aggressive.

Don't stalk

While you're Facebooking, Googling and texting your new love interest, don't go overboard. Repeated wall posts and frequent texts don't just come off as annoying; they're also creepy. It's also probably a bad idea to actually mention any information you might glean from the Web. And if you know your beloved frequents a particular hangout spot, don't fall into the habit of hanging around too often. It's true that people enjoy the chase, and making yourself too available kills the allure.

Lower expectations on spending

I admit, my friends and I often complain to each other about our boyfriends' seeming lack of romantic education. They never take us on romantic dates, we often complain. Well, the fact is, we're all broke college kids, recent graduates or at the beginnings of our careers, and it's simply not realistic to expect the kind of courting Hollywood tells us we should be experiencing. In the midst of this recession, I think it's pretty romantic when my boyfriend fixes my computer or helps with the dishes. If you're wait-

Baller

Dine at Traditions: It’s the area’s most intimate, delicious and expensive restaurant — or so we’ve heard.

Get matching tattoos: There’s no better way to show your eternal commitment, but not on the first date.

Go to Manny’s: The area’s best Mexican restaurant flies in fresh seafood.

Go to a spa: Because everyone wants to feel pampered, peaceful and beautiful. The robes are nice touch too.

Eat at the Shrine of Guadeloupe: Their monthly menu (including a Valentine’s dinner and brunch) is an exemplar of the slow food movement.

Stay at a bed and breakfast: Mmm .. breakfast.

Cupid hasn't kept up with the times

emily.faeth@secondsupper.com

The rules of dating most certainly have changed. The dating etiquette followed by our parents and grandparents now seems a quaint relic of their prehistoric times. But while the world of modern dating may seem tough to navigate, especially with apparently no clear-cut rules, there are some guidelines that can help you avoid dating purgatory.

Trust me — I've dated a lot.

Crosse Queen, Island Girl and Mississippi Explorer all offer gorgeous tours of local waterways. In summer, of course.

Pizza Amore: Somehow, they make ‘za sexy.

By Shuggypop Jackson

shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

ing for a guy to sweep you off your feet with a romantic night at the Freight House, you'll probably be Botox-age before it happens.

Dress to impress

In an ideal world, people would love you just the way you are, and often, when you're in a relationship, they do. But you'd be kidding yourself if you think you can go out into the world “as is” and be a hot commodity in the dating scene. The fact is, we are hard-wired to seek out attractive mates, so it's worth it to spend that extra 15 minutes in the bathroom. Trust your friends to give you a mini-makeover, and have at it. Then, when you're finally in a relationship, you can lounge around the house with fuzzy legs — maybe not every day.

Know when to quit

Sometimes, it's hard to know when to throw in the towel. Often, people find themselves playing phone tag with their crush, constantly getting the “Sorry-not-tonightmaybe-next-week” spiel. When this happens, it's already over. Unfortunately, some people think they're sparing your feelings when they won't outright tell you they're not interested, which actually just gives you false hope. So if you find yourself in that situation, simply wish them a good evening, call up your girlfriends, and plan your next weekend on the prowl.

I wonder how many people can relate to the following scenario. You go out drinking one night and meet a person whom you end up engaging with. Maybe it's a person you've known for awhile, somebody you've known from afar, or maybe a complete stranger. Perhaps you end up going home with them, perhaps you make them work a little harder for it. You wake up the next day and see how you feel about that person, if they aren't too unattractive, deranged, or lame, and you're feeling OK with the situation, you decide if you want to repeat the scenario. You exchange some witty banter via text message, stalk their Facebook profile to gather information, and then figure out if it's time for round two. Another night of drinking, another way to let alcohol's inhibition killing process dictate the flow of this unfolding romance. Repeat this enough times, and both parties become comfortable enough with the other person and call it a relationship.

For some reason, the impression that is locked in my brain regarding the word "dating" is how it was defined 50 years ago.

A guy calls a girl up midweek and asks her if she'd like to go to dinner, a dance, a movie or some other expected scenario. The weekend rolls around and both people get dressed up in their finest. The guy, armed with flowers, picks the girl up at her home and off they go into the evening, only to return the girl home at a sensible hour later that night, hoping for that goodnight peck on the cheek. Throughout the night, the guy is a gentleman; opening doors, pulling out chairs and paying for everything, while

CONTINUED ON PAGE 7

Cupid

Continued from Page 6 the lady is polite and takes a page out of the Miss Manners manual. Perhaps once they are "going steady" there was some "necking" or "heavy petting" going on in the back seat, but overall, the impression that has been passed down is an innocent one compared to the modern world of dating. I just wonder, is there anybody out there who still plays it like that?

Modern dating seems to be a thing of ambiguity. Marriage is no longer a goal desired across the board, thus couplings taking place aren't necessarily leading toward such a union. Without that "happily ever after" security in place, dating can often leave a person feeling uncertain and emotionally vulnerable. Somewhere in between meeting somebody and agreeing that a monogamous relationship is desired by both parties is that confusing dance of the sexes, a game that no matter how many times you play it, the rules never seem to stay the same. Some of you got game, and partners come easy, while others view the whole ordeal a mysterious riddle that all the dating self-help books, Hollywood rom-coms and Advice Goddess columns in the world can't solve for them.

If the whole dating game is going off without a hitch, you strut with some swagger and life has that extra sparkle to it that puts a grin on your face. When it hits a bump, the neurosis starts up in your brain.

Does that person really like me? Do I even like that person? Would I be better off with

COMMUNITY somebody else? Maybe I'll start looking for somebody new. ...

Loners aside, everybody wants companionship. Whether it's a person to hang out and do stuff with, a person to fulfill the physical needs surging within us, or maybe even a person to explode your inner crazy all over. Maybe you'd rather be with somebody instead of nobody, so settle for a person who is good enough but not ideal.

Maybe you met somebody who has everything you could want in a partner, but you are convinced they are out of your league and could never be into you and they would only be using you if they showed any interest, so you don't even try so as to avoid getting your emotions trampled. Perhaps you are in a relationship but still like to play the field behind your partner's back, and perhaps you feel guilty about cheating so you conveniently blame alcohol for your indiscretions. Maybe you don't want to be tied down in a relationship at all and don't want anything serious, but simply want to sow your wild oats with as many people as you can. Maybe that feels too skanky to you, so you just have one person for sex, but you consider them friends with benefits, not a person you are in a relationship with.

I wonder if things were so complicated back in that simplified model that is implanted in my mind? Societal rules seemed to dictate how the game was played and rarely did one stray from that path, fearing public shame and scorn if they did. Nowadays it's a field of land mines in the lawless Wild West that's not for the faint of heart.

But at least we're all in this mess together.

Š2010 Treasure Island Resort & Casino

Second Supper

February 11, 2010 // 7

8// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

ARTS

Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre

Actors do the heavy lifting in '5,000 Lbs.'

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

The Vietnam War is an intrinsically tricky subject to handle whether it be done in book, film or stage form as it is something mired in wildly conflicting different perspectives colored by political views, personal experiences and the magic of twenty/ twenty hindsight. So, to borrow from Rogers and Hammerstein, how do you solve a problem like Vietnam?

In David Krump’s play 5,000 Lbs.: Seven Soldiers' Stories, currently playing at the Pump House Regional Arts Center, the focus is squarely on the personal. In the tradition of the classic David Rabe play Streamers, 5,000 Lbs. deals with the relationships among seven soldiers in 1968 during the Vietnam War.

Directed by Anne Drecktrah and featuring Alex Brick, Harrison DeCreny, Brandon Harris, Tim McCarren, Lance Newton, Adam Petchel and Colin Thelen as the troops stationed together, this new play succeeds chiefly because of the talent of the actors.

There is an easy camaraderie among the seven and the play is especially good when all seven actors are on stage together, simply interacting with one another. In the intimate space of the theatre at the Pump House, every nuance can be observed and there isn’t a false moment in any of the acting. The interplay, the kidding, the fights all

feel like natural extensions from the chemistry among the actors and can make for some truly electrifying moments of theatre.

While essentially an ensemble show, Harrison DeCreny and Colin Thelen are break outs, due to both their acting and their characters being more fully developed.

DeCreny, as a pet-pig-having soldier named Hugo, shows a true gift for comedy that is able to mine hilarity out of melancholy with a quirky blend of talky Woody Allen neuroses and a Buster Keaton/Charlie Chaplin expressiveness in the face. Thelen, for his part, adeptly handles his character, a foulmouthed soldier named Baker, that, in less capable hands, could have been a scenery chewing monster. When the character gets to reveal some of the layers underneath his bravado, Thelen manages to make those moments feel like natural progressions instead of plot-dictated contrivances.

Even in their relatively less developed roles, Alex Brick, Brandon Harris, Tim McCarren and Adam Petchel succeed at taking what could’ve been stock characters and finding ways to make them fully formed beings.

Special notice should be given to actor Lance Newton. The fact that his character, the sole African-American figure in the play, is not as offensive as he could’ve been given the material he had to work with is a total testament to Newton’s strong acting ability

Continued on Page 10

Film: 'Jammin' George's Land of Fun' Stars: Jammin' George

I don’t know what the hell I just saw.

I just know that it’s Shuggypop’s fault. He got a hold of me today, saying that he had the perfect movie for me to feature in Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre. Intrigued, I invited him to my house, where he proceeded to show me the most mind-blowing thing I’ve seen since Trailer Town. I can best describe it as a home video variety show for the insane, hosted by a man with the body of Drew Carey and the rockin’ soul of Wesley Willis. And best of all, this guy is local.

Jammin’ George found Shuggy and gave him one of the only copies of his Land of Fun, and our lives are forever changed by its majesty. I made a list of all the crazy shit that happens in Jammin’ George’s hour of power. That list is three times as long as this review is going to be.

Jammin’ George’s Land of Fun is roughly divided into a few themes: where George rocks out to music, where George talks to the camera and tells jokes, puppet shows, poetry reading, impersonations, long musical numbers, and bits where George just films whatever’s playing on television. As could be guessed, it’s roughly made and even more roughly edited. There are multiple times where George tells the cameraman to stop filming, the camera occasionally shows the time and date, and those long musical numbers get uncomfortably

My Reality?

Kaufmanesque toward the end. But similar to the music of Wesley Willis, you have to take the rough to get the diamonds — and the diamonds are many.

Immediately, Jammin’ George takes no prisoners. He gets things started by wearing a purple beret and whirling around a countryside while “The Sound of Music” plays. The opening sketches are great, but the first one that really knocked me on my ass was when George wears a hot pink shirt and a hot pink feather boa and sashays around to the theme of “The Young and the Restless.” After a series of sketches in which his gray T-shirt gets progressively sweatier, he launches into a puppet show based on the Land of MakeBelieve from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, where the cats get jobs cleaning King Friday’s bathroom. After a Manilow-inspired musical tribute to Oprah, George begins a few of those lengthy music and television phases, the most surprising two being a performance

by Billy Corgan on the Bozo the Clown Show, and George filming a video of himself singing “The Wind Beneath My Wings.” A robot would have died from paradox at that point.

And then, there’s much, much more glorious ridiculousness.

Jammin’ George. LOCAL HERO. — Brett Emerson

We put those ATM fees back in your pocket.

I‘ve got money, I never carry cash.

With Altra Plus Checking, you can get up to $20 in ATM fees refunded every month and earn an outrageously high dividend on the money in your account.

Ask us how.

• No minimum balance required • No monthly service charge

Open 7 days a week inside Festival Foods, La Crosse

608-787-4500 • www.altra.org

fits my life

Membership eligibility required. A+ Checking available for personal accounts only. The use of four free Altra technology services is required to receive ATM refunds and dividend rate. ATM fee refunds available for withdrawals made from A+ Checking. Dividends calculated and paid each calendar month on the daily balance. Please contact Altra for complete account details.

Second Supper

February 11, 2010 // 9

10// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

ARTS

'5,000 Lbs.'

Full Menu of Steaks, Chicken, Seafood, Lunch/Dinner Specials Daily

Continued from Page 8 Saturday/Sunday Full Breakfast Menu 8am - 2pm

418 Lang Dr. La Crosse

Fridays

$11 Cuts

Monday $1.50 Chili Dogs (After 8PM) Wear a hat, buy one cocktail get one free.

608-785-0305

Across From Menards

Tuesday

www.hairstation.info

as he manages to find depth within the tired stereotype of the jive-talking, Bible thumping, high-fiving, racism-obsessed Black guy.

It’s a character type that appears countless times in war films and was satirized brilliantly in the film Tropic Thunder. It’s a shame, given Newton’s talent, that he has to spend most of the show overcoming his character’s limitations.

So while not a perfect show, and what show ever is, the show for the most part succeeds at highlighting the personal cost of war on the soldiers that have to fight it and the tragedy and comedy that comes from that.

$1.79 Hamburgers (After 8PM) $2.00 Rails

Wednesday $1.79 Hamburgers (After 8PM) Bucket of Beers (5) $10.00

Thursday $1.79 Hamburgers (After 8PM) $4.00 Margaritas

ls Check Out Our Food & Drink Specia 3119 State Rd. La Crosse | 608.788.5110 | www.schmidtys.com

Shake N’ Shed Fitness is a studio-based fitness facility offering a variety of classes for all ages and abilities. All of our classes are designed to improve your health and quality of life. We are proud to offer group fitness to our community with a twist. We offer classes in Yoga, PiYo™, Zumba™, Zumba Gold™, Turbo Kick™, Body Sculpt™, and Core Combat™. We use the best equipment that we all possess - YOUR BODY! *9550 E. Hwy 16, Frontage Road, Onalaska* 779-4441* shakenshedfitness.com

We are now also offering classes in Belly Dancing! We offer 3 classes every Tuesday: 11 to noon for Moms and Preschoolers, 3:30 to 4:30 for Seniors and Pregnant Ladies, and 6 to 7 for all ages. This is a great way to whittle your middle, improve posture, prevent osteoporosis and just have fun!

On Thursdays we offer Ballroom Dancing from 7 to 8! Learn how to “Dance Like the Stars” in a fun atmosphere, learn great new dances each week and have fun staying fit!

Who says you have to have a treadmill to work out? Check us out and see how we can help you stay fit and have a great time doing it!

10% off All Memberships thru February 15% off Couples Memberships * excludes Drop-In/2-Week Trial/Bridal Packages

Second Supper

February 11, 2010 // 11

MUSIC

music directory // February 12 to February 18 FRIDAY,

February 12

Minneapolis

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. The Levitating Train Committee (rock) • 10 p.m.

population

FISHBONE, THE ENGLISH BEAT // March 4 Cabooze • $22

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Rich Wooten (songwriter) • 10 p.m

THE AVETT BROTEHRS // March 5 First Avenue • $23.75

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. T.U.G.G. (alt-reggae) & Goulash (Twin Cities dub) • 10 p.m.

FOX HOLLOW // N3287 HIGHWAY OA. Time and a Half (classic rock & country) • 9 p.m.

SPORTS NUT // 801 Rose St. Cheap Charlie Band (variety) • 9 p.m.

CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Dox Phonic (rock) • 10 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Jazz 4tet (Songs of Love) • 8 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Poppa Roxy (blues) • 8 p.m.

VITERBO FINE ARTS CENTER // 929 Jackson St. The Old Maid and the Thief (opera) • 10 p.m.

TOLAND THEATRE (UW-L) // 1725 State St. Quartet for the End of Time (chamber orchestra) • 10 p.m.

SATURDAY,

February 13

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Witness, Dan Collins & a Piano, Hyphon & Def Mec (Piano Rock Hop) • 8:30 p.m.

387,970

JOHN MAYER, MICHAEL FRANTI // March 2 Xcel Energy Center • $49

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Burnt Brownies (jam) • 10 p.m.

DEWEY'S SIDE STREET SALOON // 621 St. Paul St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (includes free baloney) • 10 p.m

just a roadie away

GOMEZ //March 6 Fine Line Music Cafe • $23.50

The Root Note will host another genre-bending concert Saturday night with a fun show they’re dubbing Piano Rock Hop. The piano, naturally, is provided by Dan Collins & a Piano, a local pop-rock trio that evokes the sophisticated side of Ben Folds Five or Coldplay. The “hop” is from hip-hop. Witness (pictured) is a Minneapolis-transfer MC whose introspective lyrics and soulful samples mesh nicely with his new hometown. Local rappers Def Mek and Hyphon fill out the bill for a show that begins at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $5, or 2-for-1 admission with a nonperishable food item.

February 14

JBS SPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Mercury Crossing with Fuzzy HD SUNDAY, (heavy rock) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Som'n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m.

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Bad Axe River Band (rock/blues) • 10 VITERBO FINE ARTS CENTER // 929 Jackson St. p.m.

The Old Maid and the Thief • 2 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings SOUTHSIDE COMM. CENTER // 1300 S. Sixth St. Bluegrass jam • 3 p.m. (old timey) • 10 p.m.

FLIPSIDE PUB AND GRILL // 400 Lang Drive Sellout (rock) • 8:30 p.m.

MONDAY,

February 15

NELL'S CITY GRILL // 1111 S. Third St. DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Karl Friedline (baritone with guitar) • Cheech & Chubba's open jams • 10 p.m.

6 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Shawn's Pajama jam • 10 p.m.

Abbey Lane, Flashback (Realtors Rock for a Cause • 7:30 p.m.

TUESDAY,

February 16

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Jazz 4tet (Songs of THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Love) • 8 p.m.

SOMA (open jam) • 9 p.m

VITERBO FINE ARTS CENTER // 929 Jackson POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. St. Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings (& The Old Maid and the Thief (opera) • bluegrass jam) • 8 p.m.

7:30 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 Fourth St. S. Jazz jam • 8:30 p.m.

UMPHREY'S MCGEE // March 12-14 First Avenue • $19 WYNTON MARSALIS // March 14 Orchestra Hall • $31.50-81.50

WEDNESDAY,

February 17

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Mitch’s (open jam) • 10 p.m.

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Bad Axe Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m MIRAGE SPORTS BAR // 4329 Mormon Coulee Road Dave Kerska (oldies) • 5:30 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Dox Phonic (open jam) • 10 p.m.

THURSDAY,

February 18

THE CELLAR (UW-L) // 1725 State St. Kevin Steinman (folk) • 7 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Rich Wooten (songwriter) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Cheech (blues/rock) • 10 p.m.

SPORTS NUT // 801 Rose St. Big Daddy Cade and the Blues Masters (blues) • 8 p.m.

12// February 11, 2010

Oh hi, right now I am watching YouTube videos of stand-up comedian Deon Cole, but that's not important right now.

Before I get to what is important, I have to report an encounter with the meteorological Zeus of the Upper Midwest, the one and only Dan Breeden. There I was, loitering in a local downtown restaurant, wasting time by charming the staff with my dazzling wit, when the Red Seas parted and in walked the icon himself, flanked by the effervescent Molly Nichols, some random dude and a chorus of heavenly angels. I wasn't about to get all fanboy on him, so I contained my giddiness that was overflowing out of my ears, and let him sit down in peace with his meal and THE COPY OF SECOND SUPPER HE PICKED UP TO READ!!! OMG!! DAN BREEDEN READS STUFF I WRITE!!! As he was leaving, I absolutely had to ask him something, and that something was if he had a problem with our good natured ribbing of him in these pages over the years, fully prepared for him to shoot lightning bolts out of his fingers to smite me down while tilting his head back to laugh a mighty roar of thunder. Seeing as how I am still walking the earth, it turns out he seemingly doesn't mind. And now for something completely different. Two situations happened this past week to send a shockwave through the hip-

KJOME

RENTALS

READY TO MOVE IN? One Bedroom Upper, 527 Division, La Crosse $495.00 Heat Included Large Studio, 720 Main St., La Crosse Fully Furnished $425.00 All Utilities Included Small Efficiency, 612 S. 7th St., La Crosse $650.00 Heat Included, Laundry, Storage, Parking.

Two Bedroom, 612 S. 7th St., La Crosse $425.00 Heat Included, Parking, Laundry

COLUMNS

hop world. The first is the announcement that Def Jux Records will be closing shop.

Def Jux has been the cutting edge of East Coast hip-hop for the past 10 years, putting out jams by cream-of-the-crop artists such as Aesop Rock, El-P, Mr. Lif, Murs, Del the Funky Homosapien, Cannibal Ox, Company Flow, Dizzee Rascal and RJD2. Their catalog is easily one of the most impressive of the new millennium and the standard they set will be missed. And while I was reeling from this bit of sadness, I am reminded that Lil' Wayne reported for a one-year stint at Rikers Island on the 9th of February for a gun possession charge. Weezy's already impeccable street cred just rose 1,000 points and here's hoping he comes out of the slammer harder than ever with some sweet prison tats. I am willing to bet Weezy spent his last days as a free man getting all kinds of wrecked. I just wonder if he'll be able to score any syrup in lock down. Out of solidarity to Wayne, I finally got around to watching the unauthorized documentary called The Carter that can be streamed online, where a camera crew hung out while he smoked herb, recorded music and watched SportsCenter, which was actually way more interesting than that sounds.

So in summary, I met Dan Breeden, Def Jux closed, and Lil' Wayne is in prison. Got it?

Cool. Okaythanksbye!

— Shuggypop Jackson

Impress your out-of-state friends.

Show them our Web site. www.secondsupper.com (You can read it, too.)

The Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com

Thick and tired of it

In the two years I've been with my boyfriend, I've gained 40 pounds. I was unemployed, got lazy, blah, blah, blah. I've been trying to slim down without success, probably because I feel so bad about myself now. But, is it normal for a man to withdraw all affection when his partner gains weight? My boyfriend hasn't kissed me or had sex with me in over a year. He won't even put his arm around me. He'll hug me if I ask him, but that's all. Aren't you supposed to love your partner for who they are, even if they gain weight or get cancer and have chemo and lose their hair? I'm certain he isn't cheating, and he says he doesn't want to break up. But, say I lose weight and he regains interest. Can I ever forgive him for what he's put me through?

- Fatty With A Dream

In two years, you've put on the equivalent of a 5-year-old child about to outgrow his car seat. That isn't going up a dress size; it's going up a tent size.

Love might be blind, but male lust usually has a weight limit. There are those guys who are fatty fanciers, but a guy who got together with you 40 pounds ago probably isn't one of them. Male sexuality is highly visual. Women tend to feel superior for not caring as much about looks, but we're all just acting on marching orders from our genes. While most women are picky about men's height, women across cultures prioritize finding a partner with money and mojo. In other words, a big compromise for you probably isn't having sex with a fat guy, but sticking with a guy who quits his high-powered job to become a Hare Krish-

315 fifth avenue south • over the co-op www.pfc.coop

All Month-to-Month Leases

Cats Welcome!

1-877-452-2155 Toll Free # Come Home to the Best!

serving lunch & dinner every day weekend brunch Saturday & Sunday

Second Supper na and sell flowers at the airport.

Yeah, sure, "real women have curves," but these days, far too many real women's curves also have folds. The sad thing is, if you're like so many Fatty Pattys desperately trying to lose weight, you've probably been approaching it all wrong — thanks to the advice of your doctor, Dr. Oz, much of the medical establishment, and numerous supposed scientists at prestigious universities.

It's actually obscene how many "authorities" lazily and intransigently promote hearsaybased dietary medicine; for example, claiming saturated fat consumption causes heart disease when the evidence for that simply doesn't exist.

For actual evidence-based science on losing weight, sans hunger and suffering, turn to Dr. Michael Eades' blog at proteinpower.com and to investigative science journalist Gary Taubes' exhaustively researched book "Good Calories, Bad Calories." Taubes shows that it's carbohydrates — sugar, flour and easily digested starches like potatoes — that drive the excess insulin secretion that puts on fat. Per Taubes' title, it seems a calorie is not a calorie, and the fewer carbs you eat, the slinkier you will be. If this sounds like the Atkins Diet, that's because it basically is. As Taubes told me, "Doctors have been saying Atkins is a quack for so long, they never bothered to check whether he actually got the science right. Unfortunately, he did and they didn't."

I'll let your friends go on about how your boyfriend's a horrible person, and how love should transcend all. The reality is, it often doesn't. Besides, you didn't get cancer; you got a trough of Haagen-Dazs, stuck your snout in, and didn't look up for two years straight. Now, maybe your boyfriend's affection strike is utterly unconnected to your weight, but chances are, he's angry and resentful that he's got a girlfriend whose panties are beginning to resemble a parasail. So, why isn't he putting his arms through the leg slots and sailing off a tall building to safety? Maybe he still loves you; maybe he's too lazy to leave. Or, maybe he's trying to drive you away because he feels bad about breaking up over your looks — or even suggesting you step down as International Hausfrau of Pancakes: "Hey, Buffet Queen, either lose your 40 pounds or wave goodbye to my 175."

Since gaining 40 pounds isn't "Got a little absent-minded while holding a bag of Doritos," it seems it wasn't an empty stomach you were trying to fill. Clearly, you not only need to lose weight but to deal with why you packed it on. Whether your boyfriend will come around and whether you'll forgive him is anyone's guess. Whether you're willing to put up with a boyfriend who won't put out — not even a hug, without being asked — is the looming question at present. Whatever you decide, it helps to accept that, as a woman, you need to do the very best you can with what you have.

Sure, inner beauty counts for a lot, but it isn't slimming. And while the average guy doesn't want Kate Moss, he isn't into Kate Moose, either.

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, at AdviceAmy@aol.com or Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601. (c) 2010, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

Second Supper

Food & Drink Specials Editor's Note: Food and Drink Specials is a free listing for Second Supper’s regular advertisers. For information, call (608) 782-7001.

Sunday

BARREL INN $2.25 for mini pitcher CHUCK'S All day everyday: $1 Doctor, $2 Silos $3 pitchers, $1.75 rails EAGLE’S NEST Open to close: $2 U “Call” it HOWIE’S Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to close: Night Before Class - $3 pitchers of the beast IRISH HILLS Happy Hour 4 to 7 p.m. daily JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB $1 off fried chicken PLAYERS Price by Dice SCHMIDTY’S $6.95 lunch buffet $9.95 breakfast buffet 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $11 buckets of beers (pregame-close), taco specials during game THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday THE HELM All day (everyday!) specials $1.25 Old Style Light, $1.50 LAX Lager/ Light, $1 shots of Dr. THE LIBRARY Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night TOP SHOTS $5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller products (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ Ask for great eats WHO'S ON THIRD Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

Monday

BARREL INN Buck burgers BROTHERS $2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers BODEGA $2 BBQ Pork Sliders CHUCK’S Monday-Friday: Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m., 50 cents off everything but the daily special Guys’ Nite Out: $1.50 silos EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails FEATURES Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30-8:30, Free bowling after 9 HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic pitchers JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB Kids eat free with adult PLAYERS Happy Hour all night long, two-for-one SCHMIDTY’S BBQ sandwich SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close) SPORTS NUT Buck Burgers THE CAVALIER Martini Ladies’ Night, James Martini: vodka, triple sec, orange juice THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 TOP SHOTS $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1AM) WHO'S ON THIRD $1 taps of PBR, $1 rails

February 11, 2010 // 13

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION Tuesday

BARREL INN Bucket Night, six beers for $9 BROTHERS $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes on Feb. 16 BODEGA 2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free CHUCK’S 50-cent taps domestic, $3 pitchers COCONUT JOE’S $2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot-mixers, featured shots, 50-cent taps EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails FEATURES Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9 HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, beer pong IMPULSE Karaoke 9 p.m.-Close JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB 2 for 1 burger night PLAYERS Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., all you can drink rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

SCHMIDTY’S Tacos SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close) SPORTS NUT Tacos $1.25 THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes on Feb. 16 TOP SHOTS $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner WHO'S ON THIRD Wristband night, includes rails and domestic taps, 8 p.m.-1 a.m. $3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Wednesday

BARREL INN $6 all you can drink taps and rails, 8 to midnight BROTHERS 10-cent wings 9 p.m.-close, $1 Miller High Life bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; new - $2.50 call drinks CHUCK’S $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers COCONUT JOE’S $1.25 for 1 pound of wings, $1 PBR/PBR Light bottles, $1.50 Rolling Rock, $2 jumbo rail mixers, $2.25 Bud Lights, $1 shot of the week EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S $5 all you can drink IMPULSE Wine & martini night JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

LEGEND’S $1 shot of the week, $4 domestic pitchers, $1.25 1 pound of wings PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB $6.99 AUCE pasta PLAYERS Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

SCHMIDTY’S Chili dogs SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

SPORTS NUT 15-cent wings THE CAVALIER $1.50 taps 6 to 8 p.m.

BEER

Review

Cabin Fever Honey Bock New Glarus Brewing Company New Glarus, Wisconsin

After the brew-alogical fluffing that exploded all over last week’s review of Bell’s Hopslam, it’s kind of refreshing to get back to a beer that’s merely OK. It comes from the New Glarus Brewing Company, a fact that may surprise some readers since that company’s releases are often exemplary, but a brewer so prodigious and experimental is bound to have the occasional clunker. The Cabin Fever Honey Bock arrives in the dead of winter. That’s the typical release for a lager style that dates to the 14th century, but New Glarus lightens the classic dark German bock with a blend of pale malts, lager yeast and European hops. Further modernizing the style,brewmaster Dan Carey adds locally produced honey to create what is essentially (and oxymoronically) an easy-drinking bock.

New Glarus’ first seasonal of 2010, Cabin Fever replaces the cultish Uff-da Bock, a more traditional lager that has been demoted from year-round availability. The Honey Bock may be a better beer than theUff-da, but it’s probably the 15th-best beer New Glarus has to offer.

The Honey Bock pours a golden yellow color that is thin enough to see through with a frothy two-finger head that leaves a nice lacing in the glass. In many ways, it looks like a typicalpilsner , and the smell is fairly

reminiscent as well. Unfortunately, there is little honey on the nose. It’s more like an adjunct lager with some light malts, sourdough bread yeast, a kick of floral hops and Appearance: 7 something that smells like corn. The honey introduces itself at the Aroma: 5 tip of the tongue and caries through a nice Taste: 8 bath ofbready malts, making for an almost Mouthfeel: 7 dessert-like flavor. It has a drying aftertaste, Drinkability: 8 almost like a wheat beer, that begs for another sip from this ses- Total: 35 sion brew with 6 percentABV. It is odd that a winter beer — and a bock no less! — would be this drinkable, but New Glarus was clearly aiming for the same population that drinks Spotted Cow by the caseload. By no means is this Honey Bock a bad beer. It’s a tasty beverage that puts a palatable spin on an old-world favorite, but if this is all I had stocked in my cabin, I’d already be mad.

— Adam Bissen

THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY Karaoke, $2 double rails & all bottles TOP SHOTS

SCHMIDTY’S Tacos SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

SPORTS NUT $8.99 12-ounce T-bone THE HELM $1 Vodka Drinks, $1.00 12 oz Dom. Taps, $1.25 12 oz prem. Taps, $3 Orange Bombs THE LIBRARY Beer Pong Tourney and wristband night TOP SHOTS 5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95 WHO'S ON THIRD $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products

$2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1am)

TRAIN STATION BBQ Special varies WHO'S ON THIRD Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles

Thursday

BARREL INN 25-cent wings, $1 shots of Doctor BROTHERS $5 domestic taps, wells and Long Islands. $1 shots with wristband CHUCK’S Ladies’ Nite Out: $1.50 rail mixers, $2.50 X bombs COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers.

Wristband Night: $5 college I.D., $9 general public EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails FEATURES All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2 HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans IMPULSE 18+ night (1st and 3rd Thursday of each month) JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

THE CAVALIER All Mojitos $5 THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S After comedy: Pint Night - $1 pints of rail mixers and domestic taps, $2 pints of call mixers and import taps, $3 pints of top-shelf mixers PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $2 Captain mixers, $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

RALPH’S Southwest chicken pita $5

Friday

BARREL INN $4.50 domestic pitchers BROTHERS $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes BODEGA Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

CHUCK’S After-Class $3 Pitchers, $1.75 Rails COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single-shot mixers and all beers, $2.50 jumbo Captain Morgan mixers, $2.50 jumbo Bacardi mixers (all flavors), $3 Jagerbombs EAGLE’S NEST 3 to 9 p.m.: two-for-one domestic bottles and rail drinks FEATURES All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs IMPULSE $25 open bar (incl. martinis, calls/rails, imports/domestic) 9-Close JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

GRAY MATTER

14// February 11, 2010

Maze Efflux

Second Supper

'From milk' We derive these new phrases

By Erich Boldt

By Matt Jones

Ancient Civilizations Series: The Nazca Lines are geoglyphs in the desert of Peru. They were created by the Nazca people, who flourished between 200 BCE and 600 CE along rivers and streams flowing from the Andes.

Specials CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

LEGEND’S $3 jumbo Svedka mixers, $2.50 Corona bottles, $2.50 Cuervo shots PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 to 9 p.m.

SCHMIDTY’S Fish sandwich SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6) THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes TOP SHOTS $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and briskets $13.95 WHO'S ON THIRD $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps

Saturday

BARREL INN $10 pitcher and pizza BROTHERS $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes CHUCK’S 12 to 3 p.m.: Buy one, get one domestic beer; Holmen Meat

Locker jerky raffle COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single-shot mixers and all beers, $2.50 jumbo Captain Morgan mixers, $2.50 jumbo Bacardi mixers (all flavors), $3 Jagerbombs EAGLE’S NEST Open to close: $2 U “Call” it FEATURES Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S $3 jumbo Svedka mixers, $2 Jonestown shots PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 to 8 p.m.

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 SPORTS NUT 15-cent wings THE LIBRARY $3 Bacardi mixers, $3.50 Bacardi Hurricanes TOP SHOTS $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ One-half chicken three bones $12.95

Sudoku

Answers below

WE'RE HIRING!

• Advertising account representative E-mail roger.bartel@secondsupper.com

ACROSS 1 Type of garden with rocks 4 The Good Witch from "The Wizard of Oz" 10 ___ de mer 13 Double-bladed weapon 14 Tell on 15 She plays Liz on "30 Rock" 16 Chew toy on Batman's utility belt?

18 MIT grad, maybe 19 Sportscaster Dick 20 Like screwball comedies 21 System with paddles and a joystick 24 Explorer Juan Ponce ___ 25 "Arrested Development" narrator Howard 26 Fish served in filets 31 Mad scientist who is the enemy of Action

Man 32 Prof's admission that someone's helping him temporarily?

35 Soul great Redding 36 Swear like a sailor 37 Pulls a heist on 40 Halloween costume that includes big ears, dark clothing and a bunch of charts?

43 Digital camera variety, for short 45 They'll help serve your Earl Grey 46 ___ Hill (R&B group) 47 Container for stirfried vegetables?

49 ___ Lateef of jazz 51 Get the engine humming 52 Takes more Time?

56 PG&E opponent Brockovich 57 Visit Vancouver, say?

61 Grub

62 Fill with passion 63 Moving vehicle 64 Porker's pad 65 Raptor's grabbers 66 Self-help workshop movement of the 1970s DOWN 1 Turn sharply 2 Prefix for skeleton 3 Paycheck line 4 Semi-frozen drink similar to an Italian ice 5 Petting zoo critter 6 "Let ___" (Beatles hit) 7 Widow of King Hussein 8 Answer to the riddle, "What's brown and sounds like a bell?"

9 Ending for emir 10 Spoke indirectly 11 ___ Wat (Cambodian temple) 12 Voice box 15 Blue-green shade

Answers to Feb. 4 puzzle "Burns, baby, burns - It's a growth industry"

Visit us online at www.secondsupper.com

17 That girl 20 Take a baby off the bottle 21 Jason's ship 22 Car horn noise 23 Like some sci-fi boots 24 In the most desperate way 27 Tended to a scratch 28 She came between Hillary and Michelle 29 Dos that get picked out 30 Backup group 33 Spicy General on a menu 34 Raw metal source 38 Dull person 39 Double-___ (Oreos variety) 41 Type of convertible 42 Uses of mentallybased propaganda, in CIA-speak 43 Shopping binges 44 Give a good staredown (not!)

48 Groan-inducing jokes 50 Ensign's org.

52 Novelist Jaffe 53 List-ending abbr.

54 Pitcher Hideo 55 Bernanke subj.

57 "___ Smart" 58 5th or Mad., e.g.

59 "___ Boot" 60 Picnic pest For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6548. Reference puzzle #0454.

Second Supper

February 11, 2010 // 15

THE LAST WORD

Y Marks the Spot

By Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

I’m furious.

First of all, my ideologies run strongly anti-corporate, which being that I’m in America and small businesses have been all but exterminated means that I’m often anticapitalist. In general, I don’t like groups — the larger, the worse — and groups defined by money are my least favorite. So when I found out that the Supreme Court decided that corporations have the same First Amendment rights as people, I hit the roof.

Of course, this is all about money. I doubt that many billion-dollar corporations were being repressed, told that they couldn’t flood the airwaves with the normal propaganda. The real result of the case of Citizens United vs. Federal Election Commission was that corporations and unions now have no restrictions as to when and how often they may broadcast political communication (media groups could do this before, but then — in theory — their jobs were to be informed). While these entities are still lim-

ited from directly contributing to political campaigns, they may instead go outside the process and in effect run their own.

What this means is that politicians will slide even further into the thrall of big money. If a candidate doesn’t toe a company’s party line, it can toss out mountains of money to ensure that person doesn’t get elected. In short, this will lock down as fact that whatever actions lawmakers take won’t come at the expense of the money makers.

That whole one man, one vote conceit that gets the ballot-checkers through Election Day no longer applies.

And that’s what gets me. As much as I feel that the concepts of campaigning and voting are useless parades designed to maintain the illusion of democracy, at least that fantasy had the rights of the individual in mind. In my mind, the true damage of Citizens United is that it strikes a major blow against the value of the individual. I suppose that tends to happen when a population hits the hundreds of millions, but I still shudder to think of the next evolution of groupthink, now that corporations have usurped all the rights of a single person. And let’s not kid ourselves — businesses won’t be SHARING our rights, they’ll be STEALING them.

Anyone who has worked on the low rung of a nationwide company knows that it doesn’t always act for the benefit of every employee. The usual automated propaganda floats around, proclaiming that you matter and we listen, but when it comes down to it the small guy gets the shitty pay, the shitty raises, and the shittier health care. As much as they prattle on about growth and expan-

sion (and all the glaring implied greed), the guys on top want for very little.

If the individual captains of industry want to use their own money to make political statements, that’s absolutely within the realm of free speech. But for these people to co-opt the voices of their underlings to use as their own, especially in political fields where their stances might be totally opposed, is just short of enslavement.

In fact, Citizens United has been called the Dred Scott case of our times, a case in which the Supreme Court so bungled a decision that it lost all respectability. To some degree, I feel that the comparison is accurate. In that case, the court ruled that a black man had no rights that a white man was obligated to respect (we’ll just take the gender assumption for granted here). While corporatism isn’t as blatantly oppressive as slavery (in America, anyway), the wage slaves who will involuntarily back causes they might not believe in are being screwed over in similar fashion, as in when a slave counted as threefifths of a vote.

Another aspect of this whole mess that bothers me is how Citizens United has been painted in the usual liberal vs. conservative brushstrokes, as opposed to the act of class warfare that it really is. The usual right-wing mouthpieces praised it as a victory for democracy, whereas those on the left saw the decision as democracy’s death knell. I think the case goes beyond such easy distinctions.

Everyone howls about the Special Interests, and now the Special Interests are overtly in control.

It’s hard to believe that every libertar-

ian who sees government micromanaging day-to-day life is eager to swap in big business and allow it to do the same thing. The obvious balance on the left is that progressives now own a sobering lesson against the omnipotence of free speech. Anyway, I’m sure that Rush Limbaugh will rail against the ruling on the first occasion that a corporation floods the marketplace to elect a candidate whose beliefs run opposite to his own.

It’s not as though this case is going to hurl us into an obvious dystopia. After the country ceased to be a manufacturing nation and its businesses moved operations to more vulnerable pastures, what took the place of tangible work? Our old friend, the Service Industry. Visions of Industrial Revolution sweatshops fueled by child labor are no doubt swimming through the heads of many. But at least in one of the world’s most prosperous nations, that’s unlikely to happen. No, we’ll still be treated like beautiful and unique snowflakes, even as we’re being swindled out of everything. That’s the magic of customer service. Companies invest millions of dollars into psychological experimentation, so even though the corruption will be more blatant than ever, you still won’t catch them screwing you unless you PAY ATTENTION.

Much of what I’m saying here has been said elsewhere and in more detail. But in cases like this, it’s forgivable to be redundant.

So I urge you, in this case, to be redundant as well. If you care about your individual rights at all, do everything in your power to fight this decision. And if and when you do it, be yourself.

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week

Q: What's slimy, cold, long and smells like pork?

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

A: Kermit the Frog's finger Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

MONDAY TUESDAY $1.75 Rails

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

$1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

Saturday

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

16// February 11, 2010

Second Supper

CUPID’S little HELPERS— FREE incoming cALLS, TEXTS AND PIX Only U.S. Cellular gives you Free Incoming Calls, Texts and Pix from any phone on any network at any time. ®

Experience twice the bliss on our 3G Network— LG BLISS

TM

GET ONE FREE

WHEN YOU BUY ONE FOR $4995

After $50 mail-in rebates that come as Visa® debit cards. Requires new 2-yr agmts. and Premium Mobile Internet Plans. $30 act. fees may apply.

Let us help you find a location: visit uscellular.com or call 1-888-BUY-USCC Things we want you to know: New two-year agreement (subject to early termination fee) and credit approval required. A $30 activation fee may apply. Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee applies; this is not a tax or government-required charge. Additional fees, taxes, terms, conditions and coverage areas apply and vary by plan, service and phone. Use of service constitutes acceptance of the terms of our Customer Service Agreement. See store for details or visit uscellular.com. BOGO: Buy one handset and get a second handset for free. Mail-in rebate and activation required on each handset. Promotional Phone subject to change. U.S. Cellular Visa Debit Card issued by MetaBank pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Allow 10–12 weeks for processing. Card does not have cash access and can be used at any merchant location that accepts Visa debit cards. Card valid for 120 days after issued. Premium Mobile Internet Plan is $19.95 per month. Application and data network usage charges may apply when accessing applications. Mobile Broadband on 3G Network only available with select handsets. Users can expect an average download speed of 768Kbps and an average upload speed of 200Kbps. ©2010 U.S. Cellular.

USC-PRD-09-172

USC-PRD-09-255