305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith
mike.keith@secondsupper.com
Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen
Return of the Jedi
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com
No matter who wins, it's still Star Wars
7 & 13
graphic design: Rick Serdynski rick.serdynski@secondsupper.com
Copy Editor: Briana Rupel
Hope Floats Or decides to dance the night away
copyeditor@secondsupper.com
8 & 15
Student Editor: Ben Clark
benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com
Fear the Commie Dope-Smoking Invasion! And... how to emigrate to Canada!
Contributors
9 & 15
Whirrled Viewpoints are back
You won't believe what folks are sayin' about the results... 10 & 14
Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Brett Emerson El Jefe Emily Faeth
Shuggypop Jackson Sarah Morgan Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer
Sales Associates
Oh Yeah...and Bob Dylan! Review and setlist of the La Crosse show
16
Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com
Gregg Scharf 608-397-8188 gregg.scharf@secondsupper.com 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI & Winona,MN
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
Free-Range Media
Letter from the Editor
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conscientious commerce, It's the only option you've got.
At the present moment it is Wednesday afternoon, 4:27 p.m., and it’s been a pretty good day around the office so far. On the other side of the room, Bri sits before her Apple, laying out the newspaper you have in your hands. I give occasional suggestions and crack a few jokes, but mostly I sit in the comfy papasan and page through the three newspapers I had Kwik Trip set aside for me, knowing that every other edition would sell out as a keepsake. I decided to throw on some jazz fusion to pen this letter, but most of the morning has been devoted to party music. We’ve YouTubed our favorite campaign songs and threw on the upbeat mixes that had us so hyped the night before. When I finally got around to checking my voicemails, I heard quite a few adulations from friends, most shouted over a din celebration. Today’s emails have been just as eager — if just a bit more coherent — and it might be a while before this enthusiasm wanes. Yes, for a lot of my peers it is a great time to be alive. I wish Second Supper Issue 139 could radiate with that same energy, but alas, these are the pitfalls of a weekly newspaper. I’ll admit that it was a little tough to plan this issue. I haven’t seen a final product yet, so I can’t tell if we’ve pulled it off, but I’ll give you a little breakdown into the thinking behind this newspaper. Second Supper goes to press every Wednesday night. The election was on Tuesday, but we started planning this issue a week prior. (Trade secret: It takes Maria Pint nine days to write a column.) Ten days ago, I had an inkling of who would win the presidential election, but at the risk of sounding Dewey-defeatsTrumanish we needed to make a contingency plan. Sure we could’ve spent last night taking notes, phoning sources and following trends before rushing a 24page Barackstravaganza to press on deadline, but we’re just not that kind of newspaper. Instead, we made this — a mix of cynicism, satire and absurdity that strikes me as a bit like the old Second Supper. In our conceptual framework we would make separate issues for each electoral outcome, cram them with made-up copy and goofy nonsequiters and print the two back-to-back. We’d have the same stories in each section, just spun different directions. In this way we could claim the journalistic high ground by critiquing reporting bias, campaign excess and the impermanence of news, when in reality we just gave ourselves permission to drink beer and let the story soak in on Election Night. Right around last call last evening, I got to chat with a few La Crosse Tribune staffers who wandered into a local watering hole. They looked frazzled, clearly stressed from a day of late-breaking news and slow poll counters. I had covered elections for a daily newspaper before, and I did not envy the evenings of my Trib friends. But to their credit they put a paper out, too, one that had articles on every important race — a big, fat Senate election in Minnesota notwithstanding. Maybe next week Second Supper readers will get that same treatment.We’ll take the long view, cover local races, share analysis, make jokes and be the wiseacres you expect of us. Maybe. Talking last night, several SS writers said they’ve already grown sick of commenting on politics. Perhaps you feel the same way. I’m still intrigued by democracy and the little skirmishes that spring up in this two-party system, so I hope it stays interesting, and also that you didn’t think this issue sucked. So tune in next week for another exciting installment of Second Supper. This whole election might have been a cloak of hype or we might just be living in a brave new world, but either way it should be an interesting time as America moves into post-Boomer politics. As for me, I’m off to celebrate this historic day in the best manner I could have ever imagined. Bob Dylan’s in town, suckas! — Adam Bissen
November 6, 2008
Social Networking
the top
Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.
Presidents who won less than half the popular vote
Rap songs about Barack Obama (YouTube-able) NAME: Matthew Smith, 25 BIRTHPLACE: La Crosse, Wis. CURRENT JOB: Purveyor of fine musical goods at Deaf Ear Records DREAM JOB: Music A&R, or a critic COVETED SUPERPOWER: Eating mushrooms and breaking blocks for coins DREAM VACATION: Brazil FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Rosie's Diner FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: JB's Speakeasy 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Wayne's World, Star Wars - A New Hope, Fubar CITY OR COUNTRY? Country
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: American Psycho; Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic; My Boring Ass Life: The Uncomfortably Candid Diary of Kevin Smith TELL US A JOKE: What do Britney Spears and Pepsi have in common? They both come with plastic jugs.
1. Nas - "Black President" 2. Juelz Santana & Lil Wayne - "Black Republicans" 3. APT - “Obama, Obama” 4. Ludacris - “Politics as Usual” 5. Ti$a - "Obamaway" 6. Brother Ali - “Mr. President (You're the Man)” 7. Soulja Boy - “I am OBAMA!”
1. John Qunicy Adams - 30.5 percent 2. Abraham Lincoln - 39.8 percent 3. Woodrow Wilson - 41.9 percent 4. Bill Clinton - 42.9 percent (1992) 5. Richard Nixon - 43.4 percent 6. James Buchanan - 45.3 percent 7. Grover Cleveland - 46.1 percent Phrases we never, ever want to hear again 1.Yes we can! 2. Lipstick on a pig 3. Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper or Trig 4. Security moms 5. The Best Political Team on Television 6. Hope 7. ...nominee Sarah Palin
3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come Boston - Boston IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Mandolin WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Keys, cigs, wallet, and cellphone HOW DO YOU KNOW ANDREA? Through a really cool group of people, plus she makes some AMAZING food that I will gladly eat whenever offered.
Do this WHAT: Sound of Urchin concert 620 Cass Street 608-784-3287
WHEN: Monday, Nov. 10, 7 p.m. WHERE: The Warehouse, 328 Pearl St. Come to the Warehouse Monday night and see Second Supper’s unofficial house band, Sound of Urchin. We’re not quite sure how we began seeing or sponsoring their shows in La Crosse, but we’ve sure done a lot of them over the years. There was the thrashing at the then-new J.B.’s Speakeasy, the more dignified return trip, and who can forget the night they played an Island Girl cruise in a lightening storm? A couple postshow parties and couch crashings may have occurred here, too — but this is Second Supper, not E! True Hollywood Story. We like to maintain a little class with our reporting … but not our rock and roll! We prefer our rock shows to be ripping, spontaneous and dirty. When we’re in the pit, we don’t like to know what we’re in for, but if you’re going to shell out $7 for a ticket you might be curious about the band. Well, here goes: They’re from New York. They’re a five-piece rock and roll band. Their drummer is named Tomato, performs with the group Ween and might be just a bit crazy. Their shows are fun. Porcupine opens. Our logo is at the top of the poster. Come party with us.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
By Maria Pint
maria.pint@secondsupper.com I’m not big into politics and all that jazz, but this election has been pretty interesting as far as I’m concerned. Now I’m not going to tell you who I voted for, but let’s just say that I’m pretty happy about the outcome. Barack Obama is the coolest president we have ever had or will have (unless Justin Timberlake runs in 2012 of course)! I just thought you’d like to know how I felt on the issue. So anyhow, this Halloween totally rocked! I was not excited for it at all until about nine that evening either. I generally hate Halloween for many many reasons, but most specifically because of the whole costume thing. I like who I am, I like the clothing that Maria Pint wears, and I like how Maria Pint styles her hair and does her makeup (I don’t know why I just slipped into the third person, my apologies). Why in the world would I want to dress up like someone else? Let’s put it this way, if I were someone else, I would dress up as Maria Pint for Halloween. This year’s search for a costume for the damn holiday known as Halloween was not any easier than any other year. Last year, I threw on a brown T-shirt and wrapped some tinfoil on my head last minute and went as a baked potato. I got a few chuckles when I explained it but not too many got it just by looking at me. I basically just looked like a weirdo, so that idea was out. When I was a senior in high school, I dressed up as our principal and my best friend dressed up as the assistant principal. That only really worked because I was the president of student council and she was the VP so the connection was obvious. Now, I hold no sort of leadership position and I don’t want to mock our rock star chancellor Joe Gow by impersonating him. That idea wouldn’t work either. I really had no clue what I was going to be even at noon on Halloween, but I really didn’t care. I was almost ready to say “Screw it!” and not dress up at all but then my friends guilted me into finding something. I had a pirate hook already that I could work with, so as of one in the afternoon on Halloween, I decided to go as a pirate. Original, I know. Within the course of three or four hours however, I went from having no costume, to
being Captain Hook, to ending up as a Pirate Hooker. I don’t even know what happened. It started with the hook, then my friend lent me some black booty shorts and I got some tights that looked dangerously close to fishnets; it was just so easy to be a whore for Halloween! In general, I hate that girls dress up like tramps on Halloween; the feminist in me has a big problem with it. I don’t like when woman are seen as just pretty faces with nothing more to offer than sex, and Halloween provides the perfect opportunity for girls all across America to aid in the perpetuation of this type of thinking. As a woman working towards a degree in a traditionally male-dominated field, it was hard for me to objectify myself this Halloween — hard but obviously not impossible. The entire time I was getting ready, I was so disappointed in myself. I kept hearing my sisters’ voices in my head asking me exactly what the hell I was thinking. They’re both highly successful women, each with a masters degree in their respective fields and I really don’t think either of them has ever dressed up as a slut on Halloween. They wouldn’t really approve to say the least. As I slipped on my black stilettos and looked in my full length mirror though, I sort of changed my mind. Sure I had on tiny shorts and high heels, but I looked a little classier than just your average ho. I take that back, I looked a LOT classier than your average ho. Plus, I totally committed to the costume: I had a parrot to put on my shoulder, a bandana on my head and obviously my trusty pirate hook. It was a lot better costume than one girl I saw who told me she was a Victoria’s Secret Angel; she was wearing boy shorts, a bra and wings. After seeing her, I felt moderate to conservative. Now I can’t speak for all the girls out there who are actually sluts and take Halloween as the perfect opportunity to wear lingerie downtown (like the Angel), but for me, it was fun to pretend I was a tramp for one night. After all, I’m young and in the best shape I’ll probably ever be in my whole life, so why not wear a little less clothing on one night out of the year? If I fueled the fires of sexism with my fishnets this weekend, I apologize, but I highly doubt it. Gender bias is something that is deeply rooted in our culture and anything that I do to keep it alive is definitely canceled out by what I do to fight it. And besides, it’s not something that I can take on alone so why not have some fun, wear suggestive clothing and go a little crazy just for one night. Yeah, so that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
this is just like Return of the Jedi
Y M A R K S
T H E S P O T
By Brett Emerson
brett.emerson@secondsupper.com These were dark times for those who rebelled against George W. Palpatine’s imperial rule. Young Barack Skywalker had lost his hand to Darth Maverick in an otherwise lackluster town hall debate. Skywalker’s running mate, Biden Solo, had been captured by imperial forces and encased in Fox News Carbonite, following a heroic debate with Sarah Fett. To rescue Solo, the escaping rebels journeyed to Tatooine, where Fett had taken the veep smuggler to collect the bounty on his head. Limbaugh the Hutt was pleased. Princess Hillary and Reverend Lando Wright infiltrated the Hutt’s palace, posing as bounty hunters bringing in an undocumented Wookie. Hillary managed to find Biden Solo and revive him from his Carbonite tomb, and the two former rivals for the Chancellorship shared a romantic moment. Unfortunately, Reverend Lando blew their cover with an involuntary diatribe against white America, and the palace came down around their ears. Biden Solo, Reverend Lando, and — I don’t know, let’s say Al Frankenbacca — were sentenced to be hurled into the Sarahlacc Pit, which was a toothy, oversized clone of Sarah Fett’s voluptuous, life-giving womb. Princess Hillary was made to wear a skimpy bikini and prance about Limbaugh the Hutt’s throne room for his debauched merriment. Ick. An attempt at diplomacy from Barack Skywalker landed him in the clink as well, though not before he defeated Joe the Rancor in savage combat. The friends were taken to the site of execution, ready to meet their gynecological fate. However, Barack Skywalker whipped out some sweet breakdancing moves not seen since the Old Republic days of “Breakin’ II – Jedi Boogaloo,” and the tide was turned. Biden Solo tossed Sarah Fett and her “First Dude” Todd Fortuna into the Sarahlacc, and the couple was — once again — consumed by her ravenous reproductive organs. In the chaos, Princess Hillary strangled Limbaugh the Hutt with her own chain. The rebels were together once more, and free. But it was not to last, as Barack Skywalker chose to complete his Jedi training on Dagobah, while his friends moved to destroy the replacement Death Star at Endor. The return to Dagobah was fraught with sadness, as Barack found Yoda dying. With his final breaths, Yoda said, “There is another Skywalker.” “I know,” Barack replied, a little testy from
all the revelations. “Maya Soetoro-Ng Skywalker. My sister.” “Oh,” Yoda said. “You already knew.” And then the last Jedi Master died. Barack rejoined his companions on Endor, where they were soon captured by furry, adorable Iraqewoks. The creatures made ready to do in the humans, but an inspired performance by Pelosi-3PO convinced them that she was a god. The rebels and the Iraqewoks quickly forged an alliance against the imperial forces. Biden Solo led the assault on the ground, while Reverend Lando took to the skies in the Post-Millenium Falcon. Barack Skywalker, however, had his own plans. Seeking to redeem Darth Maverick, he came aboard the Death Star and turned himself in to the Empire. George W. Palpatine sought to convert Barack Skywalker to the dark side, bringing in a horde of lobbyists to tempt the hero. After Barack fought them off, the Emperor summoned Darth Maverick to the fight. The two combatants held their final debate, and unleashed their true fury against each other. “I’m not Emperor Palpatine,” Darth Maverick quipped during one crucial exchange. “If you wanted to debate Emperor Palpatine, you should have been in the prequel trilogy!” This retort only hardened Barack Skywalker’s resolve. The young challenger debated his opponent into the ground, and cut off Darth Maverick’s hand with a sudden lightsaber stroke. “Yeah!” George W. Palpatine cheered. “Give ‘em the death penalty, Hoss!” Barack Skywalker sheathed his weapon. “I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” he said, his voice solemn. “I read that book of yours,” the Emperor said. “Your old man was a hell of an admiral.” Barack grew flustered, and pointed at Darth Maverick. “That was his book!” “Eh, whatever. Come on over to the dark side!” “No!” “C’mon! Pull a Lieberman!” “No!” The Emperor drew himself up. “Well fella, if you won’t be turned, you’ll dang sure be destroyed!” He signaled to a pair of Imperial Statetroopers, who tackled Barack and strapped him into an electric chair. “Time to ride the lightning!” the Emperor sneered. The current ripped through the hero’s body. Barack cried out to Darth Maverick for help. At first unmoved, Darth Maverick at last freed Barack, grabbed George W. Palpatine, and hurled the Emperor to his doom. Dying, Darth Maverick ceased his grimacing smiles, and revealed his true face to the young Jedi. “Hey, shithead,” he said, “Country first.” With tears in his eyes, Barack Skywalker watched his enemy die. With the aid of the Iraqewoks, Biden Solo and Princess Hillary disabled the Death Star’s shields, and Reverend Lando blew the Death Star to smithereens. Throughout the galaxy, statues of George W. Palpatine were pulled down, Saddam-style. The rebels celebrated on Endor, and the Force ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Strom Kenobi, and McCainakin Skywalker greeted Barack Skywalker’s return. And all was well, until the Star Wars Holiday Special aired, and blew the entire galaxy to Hell.
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November 6, 2008
Hope floats
By Shuggypop Jackson
shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com I was prepared to write a column this week being jaded and cynical. I'd burnt out on this whole election, and the campaign tactics of the corrupt two-party political machines looking to serve their interests. Years ago, I had taken on the opinion from an episode of South Park where an election for a new school mascot was going down, and the choices were between a giant bag of douche and a turd sandwich. The glossy propaganda arriving daily in the mail, the insane amounts of cash spent on campaigning, the well-rehearsed stump speeches and the promising-me-the-world pandering of both candidates had all left a foul taste in my mouth. But then something happened in the past couple of days. It started with a speech I heard Michelle Obama giving the day before the election to a crowd in Nevada. I had never really given her too much thought before then, but her words started drawing me in. She was echoing my concerns and she sounded genuine. Of course I was part of a demographic that was being pandered to, albeit one that politicians rarely suck up to, but there was some-
thing in what she was saying that was sending shivers down my spine. I felt as if she was still a community activist sitting in my living room that had genuinely listened to my complaints and was going to do everything in her power to help me out. I became overwhelmed with emotions that my rational mind knew better than to believe, but I was buying it completely. Then she switched to pandering to another demographic, and the spell was lifted. Even though my interest started to dwindle, the emotional impact remained. The next day was Election Day, and I wasn't really caring. I knew Obama was going to win, the polls had already pointed this out.There was no suspense. I was more excited that this whole circus was finally going to be ending. I'd see friends out and about downtown, and the election tended to be the topic of conversation, some more enthusiastically than others. In my head, I was trying to figure out this article to write, one that had been festering in me for a few days. My approach was going to be now that Obama won, don't get your hopes up that anything is really going to change. I was going after a bit of a reality check for all the idealism floating around in the air. Nothing was sticking though. I'd go back to my laptop and try to make something happen, but would end up trashing everything I wrote again and again. Friends were popping in and out of my IM, and the topics they'd bring up was the election. The tele-
vised news coverage started as the polls began closing.We were watching together and making commentary even though we were thousands of miles apart. My IM friends, all bleeding heart females on the west coast, were all nervous as the results started rolling in. I was being a sassy grouch to them while trying to write this column and being burnt out on politics. I stopped writing and went into the Second Supper office to watch the results with the others over pizza and beer. The atmosphere wasn't working for me to get me out of my political funk to get this column written, so I went back home. Important swing states started falling towards Obama. First Pennsylvania, then Ohio, then the pundits started saying this was all but over for McCain. My ambivalence started shifting with the reality unraveling in front of me. It was as if there was something in the air I was feeling symbiotically. It was the hope Obama kept talking about. The reality of how miserable Bush had been for so many of us, the calloused political nature I had taken as a result of his eight-year reign of doing nothing for me at all. The youthful idealism suppressed for years that I held in the '90s started to make it's appearance in my gut. As the night wore on, and the televised cameras shifted to Grant Park in Chicago where Obama would be making his victory speech, and the huge crowd that had assembled there, I began to feel overwhelmed. I started getting frantic phone calls from friends, but I wasn't in the mood to talk. This was a personal moment for me, one I wasn't feeling like sharing with others. Obama then took the stage behind the wall of bulletproof glass. He began to deliver his sobering speech. He was delivering it in a way that had an air
of leadership. He admitted that the road ahead was a difficult one. He knew that so much was fucked in our country. The historical significance of his victory hit me like a ton of bricks. The first black president, the way my generation stood up and spoke, a victory for those who have felt left out again and again. The camera shots of the crowd, the looks in their faces, the tears in their eyes, resonated within me. I was caught up in emotion. I was a blubbering overwhelmed mess. I was feeling a huge collective of humanity sweeping across the nation. Jesse Jackson was in tears, Oprah was grinning ear to ear, the faces of everyday people revealing real human emotions of optimism and joy mixed with feelings that were more than they could comprehend. Of course, these emotions will vanish in the coming days and the day-to-day reality will settle back into all our lives. All the collective optimism that is in the air will eventually have a reality check. But for now, this moment is one that I can't accurately capture in words and one I want to relish in. This is a moment I hope resonates deep within all of us and creates lasting change in our lives. This is an epic moment I will remember forever that I will someday tell my grandkids about.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
519-2INK
hours noon - 10pm open 7 days A Week Photos by Ashley Conrad
Fear the commie, dope-smoking, homo invasion!
By Emily Faeth
emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Well, well, well. I'm sure by now all you Obama supporters out there are smugly listening to the final tallies rolling in, nestled tight in your official campaign hoodies, your Obama fleece comforters and your Barack the Vote basketball shoes. You're still riding the waves of your triumph, with visions of a brighter, more tolerant America in which we all join hands from coast to coast and sing "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" — probably in the form of a round.You're probably being extra nice to people in pick-up trucks, just to prove to them that the Obama people are above throwing their victory in the faces of the Right.
Well, thanks a lot, you commie scumbags. Right now, I'm holing up in my apartment, my Gideon Bible flipped to the Book of Revelation, preparing for the coming apocalypse we ALL know is nigh.You think you're safe in your rosycheeked fantasies of America the Tolerant? It's time to be realistic, and prepare ourselves for America, the Hippie Commune of the World! That's right. I'm bursting those self-important bubbles once and for all. Now that we've shown the world that we're able to move beyond our shameful past of racial intolerance or whatever the hell those leftist yahoos want you to believe, I hope you're ready for the reality of what we've done. Are you really ready for the onslaught of gay refugees the world over flooding our shores? Never mind the passing of the ban on gay marriage in California. It's only a matter of time. Come January 20, it's gonna be Ellis Island all over again, albeit a much more glittery one. In the coming months, I see a nation awash with gay pride celebrations; of Miss America pageants dominated by men in drag; of women changing the oil in my car. It's all too much to even fathom. And that's why I'm taking to the hills, Bible and rifle
in hand, to defend this proud nation from the free-love haven it's bound to become! No one is safe. From the tiny hamlets of northern Maine to the streets of Los Angeles, godless pot smokers will be descending upon us, their psychedelic uniforms and patchouli stench rendering us helpless in their wake. We will be left defenseless against the onslaught of head shops on every corner, of tuneless renditions of John Lennon songs winding through our once quiet towns. We must begin at once to defend our children from this tyranny! Before you know it, women will be abandoning their families in favor of an education, leaving countless men unable to cope with the mundane details of domestic life. Children's health will suffer as a result of poor nutrition, and our country's foundation will crumble! Even the formerly safe refuge of the public school system will suffer: our children will be taught that we
are EQUALS to those heathens in the middle east, and our young men will be ill-equipped to defend up against the constant, looming threat of TERROR! I just checked the terror alert level, and we're already at Florescent Orange! Is this what you wanted, you pinko leftist wackos? My friends, America is the greatest country in the world! We must not let these liberal nut jobs tarnish our brave name! I suggest we head to Alaska and stand behind the leader of our cause, the great Sarah Palin. She has been anointed by God as our fearless leader in the battle of good and evil that is to come!
November 6, 2008
What do you think about Barack Obama being the new President? Sara Seymour Hairdresser "I'm really glad that he was elected. I believe in hope and change, and that's the hope and change he will bring to this country, which definitely needs hope and change. Hope."
Felix Mann Street Sweeper "Forget about Obama! Did you see that CNN has holograms now?! Now that's change I can believe in!"
Tommy Ludo Personal Trainer "Awww, hells yeah, dawg! How long until we start seeing little dime bags being sold at Kwik Trips? Hope and Change, biatch!"
John Rainer Barista/Bible Thumper "As far as I'm concerned, he's the devil! Today, marks the start of the resistance... haven't you read Revelations?
2008 Election Postscript: Cultural Repercussions
The Sharing Apocalypse Interesting things are on the way! On the eve of Obama’s inauguration, Keith Olberman will enact an elaborate suicide plot, where he blows his brains out over an effigy of Bill O’Reilly. A note left at the scene will justify his death. “There’s nothing left to be pissed about,” it will explain. “I can’t take it anymore!” Rage against the Machine will reunite to combat the evils of another comparatively benign Democratic regime. Unfortunately, most of the material released in the next four years will bear a striking resemblance to The Battle of Los Angeles — which is to say, crap. On the plus side, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback and Josh Todd of Buckcherry will die in a flaming plane crash. Hip-hop will eschew its materialistic stereotypes in favor of the intelligent rhymes and discourse of old, which will leave 50 Cent with little choice but to become a country musician. Expect bib overalls and crunk goblets to become matching accessories very soon. Literacy in America will become a streamlined affair, once Oprah’s Book Club becomes co-opted by the Department of Education. Each month, a mandatory reading list will be issued to all literate Americans, divided into age and education levels. Those who are unable to provide brief summaries of the listed books will be fined. Repeat offenders will be imprisoned. Everyone will read The Secret. Or else. In movies, gay romantic comedies will be the big upswing during the Obama administration. PG-13 ratings will encompass movies which have only a little murder and perhaps a blowjob out behind the high school. Hardcore porn will make it to cable television. Zac Efron will win an Oscar. All our whims will be indulged. We will live vicariously through entertainment, too afraid to speak to each other unfiltered. As a result, MySpace will devour the world in 2012, fulfilling ancient Mayan prophecy. No children will be molested during the apocalypse. — Brett Emerson
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
Martin Beamish Radio Jingle Singer "I can't wait to travel overseas again!"
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November 6, 2008
McCain, no!
By Maria Pint
maria.pint@secondsupper.com
NOV. 16 - LA CROSSE CENTER
I don’t find myself bitter often, but I find myself to be just that right about now. Now I’m not going to tell you who I voted for, but let’s just say I’m not happy about the outcome. I don’t care that you were tortured McCain, I think you look like a weird old guy! Ugh, good thing I got that off my back. So anyhow, this Halloween totally rocked! I’m not going to lie to you, I normally hate Halloween with a burning passion. I think it’s a silly holiday that people get WAY too excited over. Who honestly came up with the idea of carving pumpkins? It’s kind of weird, and gross with the seeds and guts and all. I hate dressing up, I hate watching scary movies, but I do love candy. So I guess Halloween isn’t all bad. It’s like the only time of year when a huge bowl of candy in the kitchen is totally acceptable and required. This year we had Whoppers, Butterfingers, Take 5s and Peanut Butter M&Ms. I would call that the most perfect mix of candy ever created. Not lying, those four bags of candy were gone within two days of purchase and there’s only four girls living in my place.You do the math. This year though, I was even less excited for the holiday than usual. I didn’t have a costume, I only had a few party invites and all of the sugar was really giving me a tooth ache. The night before Halloween however, I really stepped my game up. I had signed up a while ago to go to Coon River Valley, or somewhere about a half an hour away from La Crosse, and volunteer for Ghoulies in the Coulees. Basically, it’s a trail in the forest that’s lined with jack-o-lanterns and scary shit. Parents bring their children and it was my job, along with a ton of other people obviously, to make them scream and cry. And let me tell you, I rocked at it. I found out that night that I love scaring children! It’s no secret that I really dislike kids (dislike bordering on hate that is) so this was the perfect event for me. From 5:30 to 7 we were supposed to make it scary but not terrifying and then after 7 p.m., we were told to do whatever we wanted. I was so pumped for seven to roll around!
I didn’t really matter what time it was though, because I definitely scared the poop out of people the whole time. I didn’t look all that terrifying, actually, I looked fairly tame. Like I said, I didn’t have a costume really so I threw some stuff together about ten minutes before I had to leave that night. I ended up with a striped shirt on (I didn’t actually change, I wore that one to class that day), a bandana on my head and a pirate hook on my hand. The pirate hook was the only piece of real Halloween costume I had on but in the end, that didn’t matter in the slightest. I was just really awesome at jumping out at people and catching them off guard. I hid behind trees and bushes and no matter where I was, I made almost everyone jump. I was a fun ghoulie though because when I hopped out at people, I screamed “ARRRGGGH you sure you want to keep going?!” Get it? Because I was a pirate! The parents totally thought I was funny after they got done screaming. I sacrificed life and limb that night to give people a terrifying Halloween experience, and although it was worth it to hear the screams, I was hurting the next day. I really killed my knee one time when I was jumping out at people because I lost my balance and went down hard on a rock.Then there was the other time when I tripped on a root trying to jump up at people and landed on my elbow; it made this weird noise that no joint is supposed to make. I also got some really dorky cuts and scrapes on my face that people keep asking me about. I never know what to say, because explaining the Ghoulies in the Coulees gets long after about the second time, so I just end up making stuff up. One person asked me how I got them and I told him I had a scuffle with a possum and the dork actually believed me! Some people are just so thick. I was cold and my toes hurt from crouching for four hours in the woods, but it did get me in the spirit of Halloween. It is sort of awesome that scaring people is encouraged during this holiday. And I do love any excuse to use a pirate voice which is odd I know, but it’s so fun to call people scallywags. I haven’t changed my mind about this weird holiday, but I guess I can see why some people like it so much. Next year, maybe I’ll even get a peg-leg to fully commit to the costume. But then again, that might get dangerous since I’m for sure doing Ghoulies in the Coulees again next year!
Tickets on sale now at the La Crosse Center Box office, Ticketmaster, by phone at (608) 789-4545 and online at www.frankproductions.com.
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
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this is just like the Empire Strikes Back
Y M A R K S
T H E S P O T
By Brett Emerson
brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Remember when Darth Maverick was a nice boy, so fresh-faced and cheerful that Weird Al Yankovic lampooned “American Pie” in his honor? I remember McCainakin Skywalker well. He was a child of tumultuous circumstance, born in the Panama Canal of Tatooine. It was a harsh land known for poverty and moisture farming. Young McCainakin grew up without knowing his father, a four-star admiral of the Republic’s fleet. Nonetheless, the boy proved himself a worthy, if not smart-mouthed scion of the family. Adopted into the Jedi Order, McCainakin was an adept student, described as its great hope by some. Yet his eagerness to move outside the Order’s bureaucracy was alienating to many Jedi Masters. While on a podracing excursion, the Padawan crashed his vehicle in an act of recklessness, resulting in a stern rebuke from his teacher, Obi-Strom Kenobi. Undaunted, McCainakin continued to refine his skills with brash nerve. Though many questioned his sarcastic demeanor, none could deny his mastery of the Force or his heroism. A pivotal moment in the young Jedi’s life came when his X-wing was shot down over Separatist space. McCainakin spent years within a Dooku Days Inn, refusing any early release which could be used as Separatist propaganda. His captors were brutal, leaving him with lifelong injuries, including a severed hand. When finally released from captivity, McCainakin was hailed as a hero, and became a respected figure in Republic and Jedi politics.As a Tatooine senator, McCainakin was known for being a straight shooter, often pursuing candor at personal expense. However, a heated campaign against George W. Palpatine in the Chancellor Primaries turned grotesque, resulting in tragedy. McCainakin emerged a broken man beneath Palpatine’s heel, a prosthetic man rechristened Darth Maverick. No amount of Saturday Night Live appearances could mask his lapdog loyalty to the emerging Empire. Darth Maverick became a figure of terror, an enforcer of Palpatine’s will, 90% of the time. The Republican remnants stood firm against the Empire, yet had little success against it. But a startling series of events culminated in a massive Imperial defeat at the Battle of Yavin, where young Barack Skywalker destroyed the Death Star, an orb which concentrated Ann Coulter’s inane shrieking at planets until they exploded. Imperial pundits dismissed the vic-
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tory as “immaterial,” “an act of terrorism,” and “the natural result of the liberal Corellian media.” Sith leaders such as Jabba Falwell condemned the Empire’s acceptance of interspecies intercourse as directly responsible for the Death Star’s destruction. Imperial citizens responded to the defeat with a renewed sense of patriotism, and sales of Imperial flags skyrocketed, alongside pit-stained t-shirts memorializing the event.Yavin IV became a buzzword synonymous with terrorism. For years to follow, anyone who so much as insinuated that the Empire’s colonial policies had brought its chickens home to roost was executed. Biggs Maher stands as a martyr to this repressive reaction. Darth Maverick, however, evaded the media furor, and devoted himself fully to bringing the terrorists to justice. His obsession with Barack Skywalker grew total. The Empire chased the rebels throughout the galaxy, tightening the noose on their liberal agenda. While Barack flew to Dagobah and continued his Jedi training, Princess Hillary and Biden Solo boarded the Post-Millenium Falcon and fled the Empire. Ultimately, they found themselves in Bespin’s Cloud City, followed by Darth Maverick’s mercenary, Sarah Fett. They were quickly betrayed by the Reverend Lando Wright and captured by Darth Maverick. Biden Solo valiantly attempted to debate Sarah Fett. Although he had the upper hand in the conflict, Solo was overwhelmed by Imperial forces and low expectations for Fett, and the hero was frozen in Fox News Carbonite. Meanwhile, Barack Skywalker aborted his training and went to his friends. Darth Maverick waited in ambush. The two engaged in their first conflict since Yavin IV. This time, the battle was held in the style of a town hall meeting. As the combatants shambled around on the lower catwalks, citizens of Cloud City asked them predetermined questions, receiving predetermined answers in return. After a long and boring stalemate, Darth Maverick pulled out a lightsaber and severed Barack Skywalker’s hand. The sudden amputee fell against the city’s central air shaft and hovered above the abyss. Darth Maverick, secure in victory, attempted to reach across the aisle, to one without a hand. “My friend,” Darth Maverick said to his fallen opponent, “I am your father.” Barack Skywalker screamed. “That’s impossible! My father’s black! He’s from Kenya; he died in a car accident! I wrote a book about him!” “Yeah, yeah. ‘Dance with my Father’.That’s me.” An incredulous look crossed Barack’s face. “That’s a Luther Vandross song, you idiot!” “Was it ‘Faith of my Fathers’?” “That was your book!” Darth Maverick began to appear flustered. “Well, do you want a dad, or not?” Barack Skywalker looked with venom at the man who defeated him. “Screw this!” he shouted. “I’ll see you in 2012, Gramps!” Then he fell from the platform, into the sky. Princess Hillary caught him with the Post-Millenium Falcon, and the rebels escaped. As Barack Skywalker nursed his wounds, she looked over at him and sniped, “I told you I should have won the primaries.” The Republic waits for deliverance.
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November 6, 2008
What do you think about John McCain being the new President? Bob Schmitz County worker "I was getting worried that I'd have to part ways with my RPG-triple-barreled-automatic-rifle with laser scope and anti-tank missles...I need it for hunting."
Duderock Local DJ "Thank God! I was worried that God has forsaken this country. Praise the lord!"
Rachel Ritter Pool Shark "I live paycheck to paycheck, so I'm very happy with the results. Thank God that socialist lost...now if you excuse me, I have to go use my food stamps."
Cliff Culver Math teacher "I'm breathing a great big sigh of relief. I really hope he survives his first term."
2008 Election Postscript: Cultural Repercussions
Randy Richardson Caterer "At least we won't have to worry about Bill Ayers flying planes into the Sears Tower, or whatever it is that he does. Who were The Weathermen, again?"
Duck and Culture My friends, prepare for the next four years to bear high rhetoric and little result. Musically, Republican repression will not evoke any reactionary anthems of note. The nogoodniks of Rage against the Machine will abandon the Evil Empire and return to the pedestrian rock of Audioslave. Marilyn Manson will continue to produce songs about having sex with famous people. Puddle of Mudd will refuse to die. Emasculated sad bastard Orange County rock bands will continue to tighten white belts around their assless jeans and croon about shorted allowances and taking X at Homecoming. The Rapture will arrive in 2012, but its third album of New York dance rock will be mediocre and bloated. On the movie end of things, Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay will continue to rake in big bucks from ultra-patriotic flicks featuring shit blowing up. Expect a sultry, bigtitted version of Mumm-ra to dominate the upcoming Thundercats remake, which will also feature Andy Dick as a super-queer Panthro. Michael Moore’s chronicle of the next Great Depression will be lambasted by right wing pundits such as Ann Coulter, whose entire review of the film will read “Fatty-fat-fat-fuck-fat-liberal-commie-fag-fuck-you.” People will understand what she means. Alternately, Moore’s film will be hailed by liberal groups such as MoveOn.org as “good shit, maaan.” Also, expect martial arts films to make a comeback in this new era. In a surprising turn of events, the McCain administration will legalize marijuana in a master stroke intended to shut the fucking hippies up. With their token political bitch agenda removed from play, many potheads will grow despondent, and suicides will reach record highs in the stoner demographic.The hippies who emerge from this culling will be stronger, faster and more intelligent, becoming an unexpected pitch for Social Darwinism. Consequently, High Times will provide erudite social commentary on the issues of the day, replacing the New Yorker, which will become little more than a coke mag. And finally, Jesus will return, but will be detained by National Security until it is determined that he is not, in fact, an Arab. Following this, the nation will breathe a collective sigh of relief, before sending the Lord to Guantanamo Bay. — Brett Emerson
PRESENTS...
Totally 80’s Party
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THURSDAYs Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
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By Emily Faeth
emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Our worst fears have been realized. Senator John McCain, that goddamned maverick, has wormed his way from the bottom and somehow stolen the gold from our beloved Barack Obama. How are we to tolerate this outrageous situation? While suicide may be one option, there's still one other route to consider before swallowing that bottle of Drano. Of course, we've all mentioned it in passing over the past eight years, citing it as our last resort on the off chance that the Republicans refuse to relinquish control. And sadly, that day is here. Canada, here we come! Canada, our friendly neighbor to the north, has long been seen as a potential safe haven for those of us too fed up and disillusioned to weather our corrupt excuse for a government any longer. But while the Canucks are generally known for their geniality, it takes a little more than border-hopping to actually call the Great Blue North home. Emigration to Canada isn't impossible, but there are a number of bureaucratic hoops to jump through that make simply fleeing to a commune in Oregon that much more attractive. There are five main ways for an adult to emigrate to Canada. The first option is to apply as a skilled worker. These are folks who want to move to Canada, have an excellent command of either English or French, have a high level of education, are financially stable, can support themselves for at least six months upon arriv-
ing in Canada, and have a high level of specialized work experience. Furthermore, you have to prove that you are "adaptable" to the Canadian way of life (whatever that means). Secondly, one can apply under Business Class Immigration. Basically, this means that you intend to invest in the Canadian economy and have a shit-ton of money. If you are reading this paper, you probably don't qualify for this. Another option that may be more likely is Family Class Immigration. If you have a close relative living in Canada, shoot them an email and let them know you need to get the hell out. I'm sure they'll understand. To apply, one need only prove the relationship and communicate one's desire to emigrate. However, Uncle Jacques also needs to prove that he can support you for anywhere from three to ten years, so try to bribe him with some hockey pucks and flannel. You can also apply directly to the province you wish to live in. Provinces are allowed to assess potential immigrants on a case by case basis, so if you can prove to them that you really, really like Alanis Morrisette and moose, you might have a shot at moving there. After you're accepted by the province, though, you still have to apply to Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) to gain permanent resident status. You last and probably best option is to drive up to the border and tell the friendly mounties that you're going on a vacay in their homeland. The just don't come back. If you get caught, you'll be arrested, but you'll be living in a police state either way.You won't be able to enjoy the benefits that Canadians do, like health care, but wasn't that why you were leaving here anyway? At least in Canada you can giggle at the funny accents and maybe learn some French. If you're really serious about jumping ship, check out www.cic.gc.ca, the official CIC website. There, you can get all the official information regarding immigration straight from the moose's mouth. As for justification for emigrating? Just tell 'em John McCain sent you. They'll understand.
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the politics of dancing By Shuggypop Jackson
shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com Holy crap, John McCain won! I never saw that one coming. For the past month I just assumed Obama had it in the bag since polls had him with huge leads in the majority of states that were up for grabs. It appears his plea to the blue collar Joes out there worked. And here I thought that stunt was as corny as they come and would never work. Shows you what I know. Now that we have McCain, I wonder if we are going to get the McCain of old that marched to his own drum, or that giant asskisser that he morphed into the past few years in order to pander to the right to get the Republican nomination. No matter which one we get, there is one thing for certain, we can prepare ourselves for a flashback to the halcyon days of Reaganera politics. Bring on the '80s! Which, ironically enough, is just perfect for me right now. Here's the thing, even though I was assigned a serious article to contrast McCain's stump speech promises and my hypothesis of the actual reality of what he'll do in office, screw that. I'm bored of writing about politics and you are probably feeling the same about reading it, so I'm rickrolling this bitch and talking about my own agenda. We here at Second Supper are moving beyond print media and entering the world of community events, with our
bar & grill
How to emigrate to Canada
flagship endeavor being as hosts of a weekly '80s night dance party at Players on Thursdays starting in November. In other words, starting tonight assuming you grabbed this paper hot off the press. You would have seen ads in this paper about these parties the past few weeks, but our promotions department has been taking too many bong hits and dropped the ball on getting the word out. Thanks, guys! Instead, I'm giving a last ditch effort to self-promote this thing so I'm not spinning records to an empty bar of six dudes hanging out waiting for the sidewalk sale at bar time. My journalistic ear has been picking up a quiet grumbling amongst a certain percentage of the downtown nightlife (you know who you are) that La Crosse has been in need of a place to go out dancing that isn't overtaken by lurking assbags in backwards baseball caps fist pumping to Nelly songs harassing ladies who just want to have a good time without the ogling, so us hipsters at Second Supper are giving it to you (please keep on supporting our wonderful advertisers, assbags, even if you're ruining their dance floors for the rest of us). Why we chose to do an '80s night instead of something else is, well, because it's fun! Don't believe me? Then come find out for yourself. I'm loaded to the teeth with those forgotten
see DANCING, page 19
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November 6, 2008
Bob Dylan, 11-5-08 By Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Bob Dylan, you have to remember, is human like the rest of us. By the day after the election, he’s probably sick of politics, too. Few people should’ve arrived at the La Crosse Center Wednesday night expecting a concert by the topical-song Dylan — the folkie behind “Masters of War” and “The Times They Are A-Changin’” — but they might have expected him to at least mention an election of historic proportions. Although he has plenty of appropriate songs in his repertoire, that wasn’t the message Dylan sold Wednesday night. Not only was his two-hour set absent of political banter — it was absent of any banter, period. The only time Dylan addressed the crowd was when he introduced his band members, and the only “change” he endorsed was a personal one, the kind an artist makes to continue pushing forward — no matter how well the formula worked in the past. On Wednesday night, we saw a Bob Dylan content with the here and now. Yes, he dipped back into a handful of ‘60s and ‘70s hits, but the best tunes of the evening were from his recent work — the trifecta of Time out of Mind, Love and Theft and Modern Times that stack up
against any output of his half-century career. The modern Dylan’s panache was best on display during “Spirit On The Water,” a jazzy new tune that features Bobby D. crooning like Tony Bennett. Dylan wears the hat well — although the tan flat-brim sombrero he sported was sharp, too — and the mid-tempo shuffles also offer a good platform for his beyond-raspy voice. In an evening highlight, Dylan stood center stage for “Spirit On the Water. (He was usually stage right behind the keyboard.) “You think I’m over the hill,” he cooed in the song’s final verse, “you think I’m past my prime.” After both lines, the crowd shouted back “No!” Smiling, he finished. “Let me see what you got/ We can have a whoppin' good time.” The 67-year-old Dylan is renowned for giving his classic songs new arrangements, and that was on display from the very first song, “Wicked Messenger,” a cathartic B-side from John Wesley Harding. Considering its dark pronouncements of “tongue[s] that could not speak, but only flatter,” it was an interesting selection to begin the evening, but the new arrangement seemed to slip past most listeners’ ears, and Dylan rarely takes the time to explain anything anyways. By far the best reworked song of the evening was “Chimes of Freedom.” In 1964 the original was played sparse and yearning, unac-
companied on acoustic guitar, but the full band version grooved. Dylan has some pretty decent chops on keyboard, and his boogie-woogie riffs more than made up for the fact he never even brought a guitar on stage. The one-two encore punch of “All Along the Watchtower” and “Blowing in the Wind” was to be expected, and in fact Dylan has closed with the combo on every show this tour. But if you pay Bob Dylan $50 to sentimentalize your youth, then dammit, you’re going to get it. “Watchtower” had a few stumbles after opening on an odd time signature, but whoever the guitar player was (I couldn’t understand the introductions) ripped the climactic solo Hendrix style. “Blowing in the Wind,” that melodramatic ditty built for montages in Boomer movies, is often played as an easy, dreamy tune, but on this night, the group channeled a bar band jam. Dylan in particular was pushing the song, first ripping an organ solo and then killing it on the harmonica, dancing while he played. Maybe this was his unspoken nod to the magnitude of the night. When Dylan wrote it in 1962, “Blowing in the Wind” was a peon to hope — hope for a time when people are free and cannonballs stop flying. We’re not there yet. But when it's time to celebrate hope turning to change, few things can top a Bob Dylan harmonica solo.
Bob Dylan November 5, 2008 La Crosse Center 1. Wicked Messenger 2. Watching The River Flow 3. Forever Young 4. Rollin' And Tumblin' 5. Spirit On The Water 6. High Water (For Charley Patton) 7. Just Like A Woman 8. Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum 9. Tryin' To Get To Heaven 10. Highway 61 Revisited
less e r i W Free et! Intern Ten g i B , L NF rk! Netwo
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11. Chimes Of Freedom 12. Honest With Me 13. When The Deal Goes Down 14. Thunder On The Mountain
426 2nd Ave South Onalaska, WI 608.781.9999 - www.thetimbers.biz
15. Like A Rolling Stone (encore) 16. All Along The Watchtower 17. Blowin' In The Wind
(southwestern) Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
(soups & sandwiches)
*setlist courtesy of boblinks.com
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I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "'Tis the Season"--for once, I hope you don't catch on.
Answers to Issue 138's "Early and Often"
By Matt Jones Across 1 Pre-1995 NFL player now based in St. Louis 6 Teensy 9 The Mars Volta guitarist ___ RodriguezLopez 13 Actress Massey of "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man" 14 Newbie's Internet pages 15 Little thoroughbred 16 Major League Baseball commissioner Bud 17 Hair color that makes you look like former NFLer Doug? 19 The urge to go to a school dance? 21 Green prefix 22 Helper (abbr.) 23 It's taken on a trip? 26 "___ and the Power of Juju" (Nickelodeon cartoon)
29 What Spider-Man slings 31 Burn on the outside 32 Frappe need
33 Diarist Nin 36 Knock-off board game suffix found after "Dino," "Dog," or "Ocean"
37 Get in the way of a log ride? 40 Swindled 41 Letter flourish 42 Milk source
43 Prefix used with some hormones 44 Abbr. after a phone number, on a business card 45 Weather vane dir. 46 Armenia or Azerbaijan, once (abbr.) 47 Make it through 51 "Now I get it!" 53 Tragic Greek figure with stomach acid problems? 59 The blue liquid used in diaper commercials, perhaps? 61 Animal hunted by Sarah Palin 62 Pizzeria fixture 63 Sea eagles 64 It really gets boring 65 "No sweat!" 66 Abbr. describing British pounds 67 Moves heavily Down 1 Have trouble with "sisters," maybe? 2 Ray, Jay, or A, e.g. 3 Nestle caramelfilled chocolate candy 4 "Princess Mononoke" genre
5 Imaginary item that fixes everything 6 When doubled, a Washington town or onion 7 Shaffer play currently on Broadway 8 Rob of "90210" 9 Cartel that includes Iraq and Venezuela 10 First draft of a McMansion, maybe 11 "Is it ___ wonder?" 12 Deli bread 14 Really, really loud, on sheet music 18 Passbook abbr. 20 To ___ (incessantly) 24 Smoked fish 25 What there's not one of during a tearjerker movie 26 Contributes 10% 27 Unlike this entry 28 Typing instructor's concern 30 Barry White, notably 31 Sgt.'s underling 34 Suffix meaning "follower" 35 Hurting 36 In uncharted terri-
tory, so to speak 38 ___ Lingus 39 "WALL-E" production company 47 Printable format 48 Fox News Channel CEO Roger 49 Gush 50 Taking to court 52 Run ___ of the law 54 "___, meeny, miney, moe..." 55 1960s campus protest gp. restarted in 2006 56 LGBT-themed network owned by CBS 57 Like lots of items
posted on Craigslist 58 Generation ___ (1970s babies) 59 Friend's counterpart 60 Actress Gardner Š2008 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0387.
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November 6, 2008
Happenings classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing. This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st. SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew). Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre. 16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.
GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you. For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick! (Just kidding, that’s not legal.)
Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.
ongoing events SOCRATES CAFE
Every Monday Acoustic Cafe Winona, Minn. 8 p.m. Philosophical discussion group YOGA
Every Tuesday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse approx. 7 p.m. All ages, skill levels welcome Donations gladly accepted FIGURE DRAWING
Every Wednesday Green Bay Street Studio La Crosse greenbaystreetstudio.blogspot.com 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. cost is $5 ($3 for members and students) WINONA AREA PEACEMAKERS VIGIL
Every Thursday Central Park Winona, Minn. 4:30 p.m. POETRY READING
Every Sunday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse Begins at dusk Open mic reading, come to read or just to watch. Free and open to all ages. COMMUNITY HARVEST
Every Sunday Private home, email for details Winona, Minn. 2 p.m. Free food and talent
art exhibits BETWEEN WORLDS BY AMANDA McCONNELL
October 16 - November 8 Pump House (La Crosse) McConnell alludes to the unseen forces of life. Light, color and poetry of form convey the states of being that lead to all creation. "THE BACKWATERS OF THE MISSISSIPPI"
October 16 - November 8 Sui Conrad combines photogravure manipulation and different intaglio techniques to represent the imagery of the lakes and sloughs of the river. Also includes navigational charts referencing the areas that the imagery was taken from.
camping WHISPERING PINES 15 minutes north of La Crosse, on Hwy 53 925 Dana Ln. Holmen, WI 608-526-2152 NESHONOC LAKESIDE CAMP RESORT N5334 Neshonoc Rd. West Salem, WI 608-786-1792 PETTIBONE PARK RESORT 333 Park Plaza Dr. La Crosse, WI 608-782-5858 GREAT RIVER BLUFFS STATE PARK 43605 Kipp Drive Winona, MN 507-643-6849 BEAVER CREEK VALLEY 15954 County 1 Caledonia, MN 507-724-2107 JOHN A. LATSCH PARK From Winona go approximately 12 miles northwest on U.S. Highway 61. (507-643-6849
performances ICE MAIDENS
Commonweal Theatre 208 Parkway Avenue North Lanesboro, MN 800-657-7025 www.commonwealtheatre.org October 30 through November 16 Tickets $25 | (800) 657-7025 All shows feature a talk-back with the cast and playwright. An estranged daughter returns to her Minnesota hometown to find that the shadow of a family tragedy still hangs heavy over the household. SOMETHING'S AFOOT
La Crosse Community Theatre October 24-26, 30-November 2, and 6-8 2008 at 7:30 p.m., November 9, 2008 at 2:00 p.m. Musical spoof about the detective genre, based mostly on works by Agatha Christie, involves a group of people invited to the estate of Lord Dudley Rancour. When the host is found dead, all race to discover whodunit. Chaos ensues as one after another the guests are killed. A comical journey with a surprise twist at the end.
upcoming events upcoming events ART EXPERIENCE '08
until November 14 Greenman Music Hall,Viroqua (in Public Market Main Street Station, 215 South Main Street) 608-637-1912 Eighteen artists from La Crosse, Monroe, and Vernon Counties present new works in a variety of media that engage with election-year political, social, and cultural issues and concerns. HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA
November 8th 9:00 a.m - 3:00 p.m. St. John's Lutheran Fellowship Hall 2nd Street, Alma, WI Crafters and vendors will be available to help you do Holiday shopping while avoiding the crowds. Stop by to find great deals and support local businesses. Free Admission and Free Massages (5-10 minutes)! Donations to the Alma Food Pantry will be accepted as well. For more information contact Andrea Goeldner: 608-685-4356 or andreagoeldner@hotmail.com Vendors Needed! CRANBERRY WINE TASTING
November 8 Cranberry Discover Center, 204 Main Street Warrens, Wis. 608-378-4878 www.discovercranberries.com 11:30 a.m. -1:30 p.m. Sample cranberry wines. Exhibit hall details how cranberries are grown and harvested, along with paying tribute to the state's cranberry growing heritage. LA CROSSE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: FRIENDS FROM NEAR AND FAR
November 14 and 15 7:30 p.m. w/6:45 p.m Concert Preview & 9:30 p.m. Reception Maestro Eduardo Alvarez will work with our own fantastic LSO principal flute player, Margaret Rowland, in the Arnold “Concerto for Flute and Strings, Opus 45. He’ll also bring music with the fire and romance of Mexico! DOWNTOWN LA CROSSE HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
November 14 608-784-0440 historicdowntownlacrosse.com 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Special sales and refreshments at many downtown businesses! Featuring trolley rides and gift wrapping!
RAILROAD JOURNEYS IN SCOTLAND WITH AL GUBERUD
November 16 Norskedalen’s Thrune Visitor’s Center. 3 miles north of Coon Valley on La Crosse County Highway PI Come and take a journey through Scotland by rail and enjoy the beautiful scenery from you picture window seat. The journey will begin on the East Coast Mainland and go directly into Edinburg's magnificent station flanked by beautiful green spaces and the ornate British Hotel.You'll travel through Scotland's fabled countryside and here your train will be dwarfed along side colossal emerald-greenhills. On your journey you will also see urban and rural stations meticulously restored or preserved. Your final journey will take you from Glasgow's Central Station to the Coastal city of Ayr. Regular Admission Rates Apply Velkommen til Norskedalen!!! HOMELESS/HUNGER AWARENESS EVENT
November 20 Hmong Cultural & Community Center, corner of Ward & South Ave La Crosse 608-782-4877 5 - 7:00 p.m. Doors open at 4:30pm To inform citizens and raise awareness about the causes of homelessness and what can be done to support those who are experiencing homelessness and hunger. Nonperishable food items accepted at the door. Dinner will be provided by Outback Steakhouse. People attending this event are encouraged to donate. Because we have limited seating, RSVP is required. Please RSVP tp Abby Olson 608-782-4877 by November 13, 2008. HOLIDAY FAIR
November 20 - 23 La Crosse Center 608-789-7400 Huge craft show! COMMUNITY THANKSGIVING DINNER November 27 La Crosse Center 608-789-7400 for more information. To volunteer to help, call 608-7824483. For a delivery of the dinner to your home, call 608-782-1411.
Trying to get the word out about your event? It's simple! Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
Email copyeditor@secondsupper.com and receive a free listing.
18
DANCING, cont. Future Sons by Noah Singer songs from that era, be it the synthpop of bands like Depeche Mode, OMD or Human League; the new wave groups like Duran Duran, Tears For Fears or The Cars; electro-funk groups like Prince and the Revolution, Shelia E or Morris Day and the Time; the British guitar rock of The Smiths, Echo and the Bunnymen or The Cure; pop singers like Madonna, Michael Jackson or Cyndi Lauper; and hip-hop like Grandmaster Flash, Run DMC or Afrika Bambaataa, along with hundreds more from the onehit wonders to the punks to the hair metal butt rockers. In all honesty, I'm shocked nobody else is already doing this crowdpleasing staple that can be found in every college town across America that's worth its salt. John McCain would love to come down to an '80s night and reminisce about his days of cuddling with Reagan in his dreams. Barack Obama would come down too and think back to his party days of blowing fat rails of coke and tapping mad amounts of ass. So be like the new President and put on your best '80s outfits and come get your sweat on. And if the words of your old friend Shuggypop aren't enough to convince you, then take a peak at the words of Christian Lander from his Web -site stuffwhitepeoplelike. com: "If you ever find yourself wanting to take your relationship with white people to the next level, one of the best places to meet a potential partner is at any 80s night event in your local city. White people cannot get enough 80s music, partially out of nostalgia, and partially since it was the last time that pop music wasn't infused with hip-hop or R n' B stylings. Artists like Joy Division, New Order and Elvis Costello were all pretty well respected and had solid runs at the charts. Also, less respected artists like Wham, Rick Astley and Cameo are still easy for white people to dance to. If you are in a social situation and wish to turn into one more condusive for romance, you should ask 'does anyone know a club with a good 80's night?' at which point you will be flooded with suggestions and invitations to dance to Debbie Gibson songs." So come down and let's recreate the Reagan years while celebrating this moment in history with the hundreds of records we have to spin for you. I'll personally make sure you have a good time. I'm Shuggypop Jackson, and I approve this message.
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November 6, 2008
COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 4735 Mormon Mormon Coulee Coulee
Sunday
Monday
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
Alpine AlumniInn
$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong
Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.
Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos
W5715 Bliss st. rd. 620 Gillette
110 3rd st.
Barrel Inn Beef & ave. Etc. 2005 West
1203 La Crosse st.
Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst. 1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.
Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st. 306 Pearl st.
Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st. 620 Cass st.
The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave.
$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager
2 for 1 cans &
Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49
417 Jay st.
CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st. 1101 La Crosse st.
Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st. 223 st.
Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers
16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks
$1 Shot Menu
1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:
$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25 2.25 for mini pitcher
free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza
during Monday night football
meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers
$1closed off apps Happy Hour All Day
Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis
114 5th ave.
CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.
5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close
sec, orange juice
712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers
$2.50 beers 7 - CL
$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,
closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 7 starts at 7 p.m. p.m.
Import Import night night starts starts at at 77 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl & & Karaoke starts Karaoke starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl starts starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1
5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs
5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25
2-8 p.m. AUCE wings $5
$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buySee one $2.50 Premium Silos ourcherry Ad for allbomb of $2.50 Three Olive Mixers the for great$1 deals get one
$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles
$2. Goldschlager
3 p.m. - midnight
grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD
Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9
hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor
Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6
soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich untilBuster 3 p.m. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $3.50 Price $1.25 High Life bottles Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza Wristband & Wristband $1.50 rail mixers
party!
night
HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM
Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas
10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50Light rail mixers Kul Pitchers $2 Guinness pints
Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.
$3.00
$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps
6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics
7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only)
$1.25 beers & rails
$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers
$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers
$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers
FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee
chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00
football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer
HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00
Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00
Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda
1908 Campbell rd.
Huck Finn’s Howie's
127 dr. st. 1128Marina La Crosse
9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m. Happy10 Hour
Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2
108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon
50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails
10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7
$2.00 Captain Mixers
Great drinks!
50
Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items
$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs
upsidedown cake
chicken Topless primavera Tuesday
Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.
$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs
WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT all day buy 1 get one DoNight After Class $3 Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROCK Coming ROLLING Soon: Ring beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos mestic beer Holmen Meat $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers Locker Jerky Raffle shot mixers, featured Toss $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke live DJ Night buy one, get one free Kul Light Karaoke BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials $5 COLLEGE I.D. FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS BOTTLES wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK
football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00
N3287 County rd. OA 1904 Campbell
$4.50
beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy
Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita
$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites
pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15
7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake
7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers
chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car
Fox Hollow Goal Post
Dad's Beer"
for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps
Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place
N3287 County OA
batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your
HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7
$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb
5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.
Saturday
Buck Buck Night Night starts starts at at 66 p.m. p.m.
Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st. 411
Friday
$9.00
9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles
shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free
chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials
Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details
HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6
HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM
$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS
free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00
25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY
Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price
free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal
$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price
HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.
$5 AUCD
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter
5 p.m. - 10 p.m.
EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans
Karaoke
GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs
9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy
HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps
20
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food
LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.
JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.
The Joint 324 Jay st.
Legend’s
Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics
$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game
4 - 8 p.m. Bacardi $3 doubles/pints
closed
223 Pearl st.
The Library 123 3rd st.
$2 Guinness all day
come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did
closed closed
Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY
50 cents off all drinks 7-CL
$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints
every day $1 shots of Doc
$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila
All your fav drinks at low prices
HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
closed
$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS
AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS
KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles
Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney
5 - 7 p.m. 2-4-1 happy hour
great drinks!
$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6
Nutbush
3264 George st.
Players
Price by Dice
214 Main St
Ralph's
In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N
Ringside 223 Pearl st.
Schmidty’s
Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6
open 11 - 6
3119 State rd.
breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
Shooter’s
$1 Shot Night
120 S 3rd st.
Sports Nut 801 Rose st.
Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.
Top Shots 137 S 4th st.
Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.
LA CRESCENT
Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.
WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.
Godfather’s 30 Walnut st. 21
2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG
happy hour all day
open 4-9
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.
chicken parmesan sub $6
Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6
open 11 - 6
double $6.50
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY
happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.
LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens
Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers
Buck Burgers
Tacos $1.25
$4 domestic pitchers
$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99
HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers
$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1
$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks
$1 Point special bottles
$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday Wednesday
$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer
8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans
$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday Wednesday
closed
Southwest chicken pita $5
HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!
$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots
Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas
2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.
$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs
Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1
2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close Fantasy Football stat party!
family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age
any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)
10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers
15 cent wings
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12
$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs
Thursday
Friday
Thursday $1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night
Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish
$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)
3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours
$1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers
Fish Fry $6.95
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints
Friday
Saturday
$2.50 Three Olives Vodkas $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
$2.50 Bacardi Drinks $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
November 6, 2008
Ã
Entertainment Directory 11/6 - 11/12
Thursday, November 6
Sunday, November 9
Kreekside Adam Palm
7:00
Popcorn Tavern Som'n Jazz
Bluffland All ages Open Mic
8:00
Ringside Comedy Night
8:00
Dan’s Place Live DJ
Monday, November 10
Madison
George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam
9:00
Sat., 11/8
10:00
Athas
Brocach Irish Pub
Sun., 11/9
Popcorn Tavern Paulie
10:00
Wolf Parade Listening Party
Majestic Theatre
Mon., 11/10
10:00 Alumni Brownie's Open Jam
10:00
The Giraffes
The Frequency
Wed., 11/12
10:00
Tuesday, November 11
Wednesday, November 12 Friday, November7 9:00 10:00
Nutbush Live DJ
10:00
Saturday, November 8 Howie's Bad Downs Bluffland TBA local musician Players Live DJ
223,389
Orpheum Theater
Popcorn Tavern Shawn's open jam w/ Up & Coming
Nutbush 9:00 Live DJ 10:00
Players Live DJ
My Brightest Diamond Clare & the Reasons
9:00
Howie's The Freezers
population
Fri., 11/7
The Recovery Room Live DJ
Nutbush Live DJ
10:00
High Noon Saloon
9:00
Popcorn Tavern Paulie
Just A Roadie Away...
Rachael Yamagata Meiko Thao Nguyen Alice Russell Jaymay
Players 80's Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson
Ã
9:00
10-midnight 10:00
Nutbush Live DJ 10:00 Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
Loon’s Comedy Night
8:30
Library Karaoke
9:00
Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.
9:00
Coconut’s Live DJ
10:00
Longhorn Karaoke
10:00
Players Karaoke
10:00
Popcorn Tavern Brownie's Open Jam
10:00
Got a show? Let us know! We'll put it in, yo. copyeditor@secondsupper.com
Totally 80’s Party SPONSERED BY:
THURSDAY NOVEMBER 6TH DJ'S SPINNING 80’S MUSIC New Wave, Punk, Hair Metal,Yacht RocK
Awards for Best 80's Outfits
Drink Specials 21+ No Cover @ Players
22
My Reality?
We put those ATM fees back in your pocket.
I‘ve got money, I never carry cash.
With Altra Plus Checking, you can get up to $20 in ATM fees refunded every month and earn an outrageously high dividend on the money in your account. Ask us how. • No minimum balance required • No monthly service charge
Open 7 days a week inside Festival Foods, La Crosse
608-787-4500 • www.altra.org
fits my life
Membership eligibility required. A+ Checking available for personal accounts only. The use of four free Altra technology services is required to receive ATM refunds and dividend rate. ATM fee refunds available for withdrawals made from A+ Checking. Dividends calculated and paid each calendar month on the daily balance. Please contact Altra for complete account details.
Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622
Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers
$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots
Saturday 23
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50
$1.75
Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM
$2.00 Dr. Drinks
$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight November 6, 2008
La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar
Pick The Pros Every Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers
Friday November 14th
! t h g i N Stoli $3 Mixers Stoli Party Gear Up For Grabs
Show Starts At 10PM VIP Tables AVAilable
PM 0 1 9 1 -4 2 k n i r D Ladies
223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse - 608-782-9192 CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 139
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