Table of Contents 305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith
mike.keith@secondsupper.com
A Festivus for the rest of us
9
Our resident film critic lists his top 10 of the year 10 Brett talks about his top books of '08
11
'Twas the Night Before Deadline...
11
The Airing of Grievances...let the festivities begin! 12 Feats of Strength!
14
Holiday travel tips
15
Dispatches from HQ: Find out why we here at the office are so amped 16 SS music buffs geek out about their favorite albums. One even gets poetic. 17 A season of reunions!
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Issue 144 cover photo: Radar Issue 144 cover design: Rick Serdynski Issue 143 cover photo: El Jefe Table of Contents photo: El Jefe Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com
graphic design: Rick Serdynski rick.serdynski@secondsupper.com
Copy Editor: Briana Rupel
copyeditor@secondsupper.com
Student Editor: Ben Clark
benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com
Contributors Jacob Bielanski Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Ashly Conrad Brett Emerson
Emily Faeth Shuggypop Jackson Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer
Sales Associates Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com
Gregg Scharf 608-397-8188 gregg.scharf@secondsupper.com 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI & Winona,MN
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December 18, 2008
Social Networking
the top
Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.
Buzzwords of 2008 1. Change 2. Hockey mom 3. Staycation 4. Greenwashing 5. Bailout 6. Surge 7. Phelpsian
Food trends of 2008 (Time magazine) NAME: Brent Roraff 27 BIRTHPLACE: West Salem, Wis. CURRENT JOB: Marketing Rep for KQEG TV DREAM JOB: Game show host COVETED SUPERPOWER: Invisibility DREAM VACATION: Australia FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: King Street Kitchen
3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: The Phone Book, The Complete Choose Your Own Adventure series, I'd say a Bible, but they already provide them there
1. Recession dining 2. Nanny-state food regulations 3. Salmonella saintpaul 4. The war on bottled water 5. The Clover coffee maker 6. Caffeinated foods 7. Goat
Star performers of 2008 1. Barack Obama 2. Michael Phelps 3. Lil' Wayne 4. Tina Fey 5. C.C. Sabathia 6. Ron Paul 7. Thomas Friedman
TELL US A JOKE: What is the first sign you have AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass. 3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Tom Petty, Queen, Hannah Montana
FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: The Helm
IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Kazoo
3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: True Romance, The Brothers Solomon, Step Brothers
WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Wallet
CITY OR COUNTRY? Country
HOW DO YOU KNOW JOEY? I loiter around his store begging him to advertise.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Letter from the Editor There are a lot of ways to learn about Festivus. If you’re of a certain age — say, between 13 and 55 — you probably remember it from an episode of Seinfeld. You may recall something about an aluminum pole, the airing of grievances, and Jason Alexander becoming frustrated with particular aplomb. A YouTube search will yield a memory-triggering montage of Frank Costanza inventing the alternative Christmas — “As I rained blows down upon him, I realized there had to be another way!” — as well as carols, party footage, and what may be a hilariously unintentional parody of Zeitgeist. But other than digging out the Seinfeld Season 9 DVDs or waiting for one of a half-dozen networks to syndicate “The Strike,” the quickest way to get information on Festivus is to scope out its amazingly complete Wikipedia page. As expected, it contains plenty of quotes from the episode as well as some background info and next-level analysis, but to me the most interesting aspect of Festivus culture is how widespread it became. Festivus began as a quirky holiday celebrated only by the family of one Seinfeld writer, yet through the power of NBC it grew into a worldwide phenomenon. “Festivus” is a seasonal Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor, an annual party in Brooklyn, and a flavor of wine from Oklahoma. There are also — inexplicably — plenty of Wisconsin connections to the holiday, including a Milwaukee company that manufactures official Festivus poles, a Green Bay man who erected a pole next to the city hall nativity scene, and our “Governor Festivus” Jim Doyle who displayed a pole in the Executive Residence in 2005. So add Second Supper to that (umm…) esteemed list, as we present our second-annual Festivus issue. As evidenced by the 27 citations on that Wikipedia page, there must be some innate human need to celebrate Festivus — a holiday defined by simplicity, perseverance, and confrontation. Perhaps we lack those attributes in modern American society, but after putting up with a year’s worth of crap, a season full of stress, and 10,000 renditions of “Jingle Bells,” I’ll tell you that it feels pretty good to let out some steam. So I like to think we would do Frank Costanza proud with this issue, our last of 2008. Mull on this one for a bit — take your time; finish the crossword — and then let out all those grievances our Midwestern values like to hold inside. And after pinning us in the Feats of Strength, come back in ’09 and let’s kick it. — Adam Bissen
Do this WHAT: Champagne and Gourmet Chocolate Extravaganza WHERE: Wine Guyz, 122 King St. WHEN: Saturday, Dec. 20, noon to 4 p.m. COST: $10 We are a vice-laden group here at Second Supper. But no vice is as sweet as champagne paired with chocolate. We just love the pairing of good food with good spirits and for the fourth year in a row The Wine Guyz will be hosting you and yours at the Champagne and Gourmet Chocolate Extravaganza. Along with the aforementioned awesome delicacies you will also be able to dip assorted fresh fruits and pretzels into their bubbling chocolate fountains. You will be able to stop and unwind after shopping the great downtown retail shops and rub elbows with other area shoppers. If you have already knocked your holiday shopping out of the way this might be a nice way to spend the afternoon with a significant other or join Shuggypop as he tries to nab up a single lady while he imbibes chocolate and libations. There will also be experts on hand to help you pair your treats for the ultimate experience. Oh, and if you remember anyone who somehow slipped your mind Wine Guyz offers gift certificates, gift baskets, and all sorts of other new merchandise. So we will see you there, unless Shuggy sees you first. — Blake Auler-Murphy
December 18, 2008
End of another semester
This Thursday 12.18
r Pa r t y a e Y a e r e H n e e B We’ve Great Drink Specials and Karaoke Not Going Home? Make Chucks Your Home Away From Home New Years Eve Party! Come Get Your Karaoke On Til’ The Break Of Dawn
Your New Years Resolution: Sing More Karaoke @ Chucks!
By Maria Pint
maria.pint@secondsupper.com
1101 La Crosse St.
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
One more semester is now officially at an end and I am lovin’ it. This past semester was no worse than the other ones, but it wasn’t any better either. It was just the same old same old, and that just gets monotonous after a while. I’m glad that my routine will finally be changed and I would say a change for the better too. Literally, I plan to go home within the next few days, say hi to my mom and V-dawg and settle into my favorite spot on the couch for the remainder of December (with the exception of Christmas festivities of course). I’ve been busy as a beaver for the past few months and I am greatly looking forward to being as sedentary as a sloth. I've found, though, that it’s hard to unwind after such a long period of activity. Thus, I’ve been really jittery the last few days. My hardest final (oh yeah, a cumulative 300-level math exam) was over and done with in the very beginning of finals week. It forced me to use the study day for actual review, boo hiss, but then it left the rest of my time before I take off for Minnesota pretty wide open. It’s been relaxing, and my apartment has never looked better. As I said before, it’s hard for me to just stop being so productive, so I’ve focused my attention on cleaning. I’m normally a pretty tidy person to begin with, but these past few days I’ve basically been one of the little Scrubbing Bubbles. It started off innocently enough the other day when I got home from my final that started at 7:45 in the morning. My two cups of coffee had kicked in and the final hadn’t taken me that long so I was wide awake and ready for action at 8:45 in the a.m. I decided that I should sweep; the dust bunnies in our apartment were big enough to be pets because no one had time to wrangle them up during finals week appar-
ently. After de-bunnying, I decided to clean the bathroom.Who doesn’t love doing that?! Then I thought that sweeping wasn’t enough and I never really trust the effectiveness of a Swiffer anyway, so I washed the floors in our apartment on hands and knees. I felt like Cinderella. One of my roommates walked in and was hit simultaneously by the pungent smell of ammonia and me yelling “Take off your god damned shoes!” I don’t really know why I got so hostile right away, but I’m pretty sure it was the cleaning fumes going to my head. Things really got crazy when another roommate and I just randomly started cleaning the fridge out that night; some spontaneous cleaning that got a little rowdy. We found half gallons of milk from September, cheese that looked like Oscar the Grouch, and leftovers that none of us even remembered cooking in the first place. It didn’t help that neither of us are a good shot and the garbage is across the kitchen; expired food was ricocheting all over the kitchen that day. I know, pretty sick. We discovered that night that the cleaning crew supposedly hired to clean our apartment before we moved in was either lazy, or nonexistent. Not only were we cleaning out the food in our fridge, but also the fridge itself. As we pulled out the drawers at the bottom, we both screamed in shock. There was a combination of mold, crumbs, and red goo all over the bottom of our fridge and I am totally sure that we were not responsible for all of it. The redness of the mixture was what really grossed me out; it is just not a color you expect to see in the drainage bin of your fridge. After closer inspection, it appeared to be punch or Kool Aid, but I was still somewhat suspicious that Ed Gein was the last person to inhabit our apartment. After the surprise we found in the refrigerator, I was done with my cleaning spree. I’m just too much of a ninny to keep discovering gross things in the nooks and crannies of our place; ignorance is bliss in my opinion. My mother was very excited to hear about my domestic habits over the past few days however. She normally entertains practically the whole town over the holidays so she figured I could help her get the house all cleaned up in time. I told her that I might be inclined to pitch in, but that I am staying clear of the fridge. To that, she chuckled and told me “You ain’t seen nothing yet, just wait ‘till you have kids.” So I’m officially never having children. And now I’m definitely not looking forward to break; more cleaning, annoying relatives, and lord knows what else. All I can hope for is that the spritz cookies are plentiful and Santa is good to me this year. Come on big guy, mama wants a new pair of shoes!
Y Marks
the Spot By Brett Emerson
brett.emerson@secondsupper.com My sister doesn’t come back to La Crosse much. She doesn’t see much point in it. Everything to be done here has been done; everyone there is to see here has become somebody alien. Buildings go up, new houses appear, and new stores open for business. But very little actually changes here. There’s security in that, surely, a certainty of knowing where every brick stands, but this comes with the danger of complacency, of standing still and watching the time clock run for decades, and finally run out. It was the sanctuary I had in mind when I returned to La Crosse, but I soon became reacquainted with the catalysts which sent me out of town in the first place. For the first year back, I became one of the humans again, something which I desperately needed. Soon, however, reconnection gave way to stagnant routine, and our downtown adventures became as predictable as Pasta Wednesdays. I wondered if I was going to stay here, in this flatlined state, forever. But in August of last year, one weekend set things in motion again. For the evenings of Friday and Saturday, my Beldings were recruited by my coworkers to open for their bands. The first night, we played for a garage full of good Aquinas students, whom I horrified by tearing my pants to shreds and gyrating on the floor. The next night, we were set to open for Ben Clark’s Skattsmen at the fabled Second Supper House. Clark was to supply the PA, and we the sexual tension, but their van went to hell. Thus, my band played what is sonically the worst show we’ve ever had, though we wore wigs and dresses and sang “The Humpty Dance.” Also on that Saturday, our Leprechaun friend was left by his buzzkilling, Francis Buxton looking bitch wife, and despite the labor pains, he was one of us again. So the day wasn’t all bad. As any person who cruises the downtown bars is bound to do, I had taken benign notice of this upstart newspaper. Its satirical news, derision of cock-blocking dudes with guitars, and viewpoints from the likes of Stephen Colbert and Patrick Bateman made for good reading on the way to annihilation. I remember seeing the first issue in the new style, concerning the French Island man who was forced to take down his sign board. Despite comparisons of the early satire to the Onion — no doubt made worse in days since by Sir Gullo’s employment at said satirical paper — The Second Supper was the most unique institution I had seen in La Crosse. Ever.
For years, I had been building up the motivation to write my own stories. Nothing happened, however, until I read Stephen King’s “On Writing.” It blew everything wide open, and I finally became a writer. As I paid more attention to this paper’s japes, the possibility arose that I could provide some snot of my own. No matter how small my contribution, weekly deadlines would keep me busy, keep the machine running. And so, I approached Clark one night at work, and he brought me in. I honestly didn’t expect my work at Second Supper to take on a life of its own. As I grew into this better routine and took more and more work upon myself, this is exactly what happened. Last year, a defense of nonvoting and a strange encounter with a mall Santa were my best offerings. The first excitements of having one’s writing be worthy of front-page status came to me, made me grin with satisfaction. If 2007 was a good start, 2008 was amazing. Cult Classics, Bibliophile, the new, improved Music Reviews, and the column you’re currently reading are contributions to the paper that have come into their own in the past year. Being given a forum to rant about the books I’m reading, the music I’m listening to, and the horrible movies I love is neat. Having a column to rant about the idiosyncrasies of my life, and life in general, is even more so. I’d never have expected that the biggest lifechanger this year would come at the hands of Hanson. It began as a half-assed idea, one which Clark, Bissen, and I were sure would never, ever happen, not in a billion years. When the news broke that Hanson was coming to the La Crosse Center, we rallied around the busted-up pool table and exclaimed that Second Supper would capture them in print, like a noble species of wild animal. In the back of our minds, I’m sure all of us thought it was sheer delusion. But it happened. Bissen threw down, got a hold of the promoter, and after many technical difficulties, we scored an interview that, I’m not afraid to say, was a publicationchanging experience. Since then, we’ve pulled in conversations with the likes of The Scorpions, Wes Borland, and Head. The best of the crowd involved a road trip to Madison, where I held bizarre, free-association discussions with the beautiful people of Killdozer for well over an hour. While I certainly have favorites and least favorites among this year’s interviews, I remain amazed that each one happened at all. With the use of our Web site and Wikipedia’s external links, these interviews have been passed around like a hooker at Mardi Gras, and Second Supper has been read by people from over 70 countries. That’s right. Your local paper has gone global. The message is this, La Crosse: You don’t have to get out to get out. I had a recent conversation with a friend who, like me, has spent most of his life in the area. We asked each other what in La Crosse had really changed over the course of our lives. The most obvious answer to that question was this paper. It’s an honor to be a part of that change. Thanks to everyone on both sides of the stage. We’ll have more fun next year.
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December 18, 2008
By Ben Clark
benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Finals have come to an end, and if you’re somebody that’s worth something, you’ve already gone back home to spend the rest of your winter break surrounded by loved ones. If you’re not so lucky, you’re stuck here until classes start up again in January. Are you not sure what to do now that all of your friends have gone home and you have nothing to do with yourself? Don’t you worry! This helpful guide will give you some examples of productive things you can do to make the lonely hours tick away a little faster. 1. Realize the full potential of renting/downloading movies. Consider this break to be that perfect opportunity to catch up on all those flicks you missed out on while you were busy slaving away at school. Think about it; if you’re by yourself, then there’s nobody to make fun of you for watching The Color Purple or WALL-E and crying during all of the sappy, sad parts. This is your time, enjoy it while you can. Or, if you’re more of a horror buff that loves a great shock film, rent Audition or see if you can find a copy of Salo (or 120 Days of Sodom). Please don’t hold me responsible for any of these suggestions. 2. Develop a crippling drinking habit. You’re finally alone, so there are no more pesky roommates to be pissed off at you blaring music at three in the morning while in the midst of your seventh half & half of vodka and Mountain
Dew. If you want to impress your friends with your increased ability to drink, consider this no better time than to build up your alcohol tolerance before they get back from their real lives. Remember, the more depressed you become realizing that you are here completely alone, the more you should be drinking. Just saying. 3. Learn a musical instrument. You have practically a whole month to yourself, so why not learn an instrument? Go down to your local pawn shop or find some high school kid that’s hard up for alcohol and trade him some beers for his shitty acoustic guitar and go to down. Remember, if you can get some semblance of a Jack Johnson song down before the rest of the kids get home from break, you will become that cock-blocking guitar playing douchebag seen at every party. Believe me; chicks will think that shit is so cash. 4. Learn some magic tricks. Imagine how impressed your friends will be if they come back home and you can find their card in the middle of a deck? Pretty damn impressed, I say. Get serious and buy some magic books from your local book store. If you’re too lazy, look them up online. You know that you will have plenty of time to perfect your magical craft, you Criss Angel in training you. I hope that some of the suggestions keep you from doing anything drastic due to the overwhelmingly crushing boredom that will most likely surround you during the holidays here. Happy break time!
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A Festivus for The rest of us! that’s some…um, pretty powerful things you said there. But, if my guests wouldn’t mind… I’ve got some grievances of my own to air. John, you ran a campaign that was lowdown, cheap, and frankly, filled with so much hate that I’m surprised that Stormfront didn’t donate more to your cause. You showed the world that you were out of touch, and frankly, unfit to lead. I mean, you called your wife a cunt in front of reporters! I don’t feel any animosity against you, John. Frankly, all that I feel for you is nothing but pity. Pity for an old man who will die unfulfilled and most likely alone (winks at Cindy McCain). I hope that you find something that will make your last, feeble days on earth worth something. I suggest scrapbooking, you racist dick. And as for you, Sarah…well, what can I possibly say that hasn’t already been showcased by the hundreds of examples you’ve so overwhelmingly given to the news media. I mean, Joe the Plumber said you were pretty dumb. Joe the motherf**kin’ Plumber! Let did you do for this country besides inspiring the next round of potential KKK members? I hope Bristol miscarries, you troglodyte.
By Ben Clark
benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Our scene opens up with a Festivus party on Capitol Hill. The gathering is hosted by president-elect Barack Obama, and all of the major players from 2008 have showed up, drinking high-priced champagne and rather strong eggnog.The scene focuses on a bare aluminum pole sitting in the middle of the room. Members of the party include Obama and his cabinet, John McCain, Sarah Palin, as well as a few other guests. Let’s watch! OBAMA: Welcome everybody to the first ever Festivus party here in the capitol! I trust everybody is drinking? BIDEN:You bet! McCAIN to PALIN (whispered): I need to be drunk to even be in the same room than that uppity… OBAMA: Did you say something, John? McCAIN (surprised): Nothing! Err, great…upscale party, Barack! OBAMA: Thanks John. Now, with the pleasantries out of the way, it’s time to begin with the time-honored tradition of the “Airing of Grievances,” and John, I invite you to begin. McCAIN : Well, alright. I’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE! AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT! First off, Sarah. What the hell were you thinking? Oh wait, that’s right, you weren’t. You single-handedly torpedoed my campaign. I swear, I could have ran with a jar of mayonnaise that wore a $300 pair of designer glasses and a brown wig and won more states than with you! A pig wearing lipstick, my ass! At least a pig has some semblance of intelligence…Christ, which papers do you read, ALL OF THEM? Jesus. And you (points to Hillary Clinton in the
The crowd is simply in a hushed silence, and waits with baited breath for any type of response. Sarah Palin steps forward towards the Festivus pole.
corner)...you. You pant suit-wearing harpy and “that one” just couldn’t afford to stay out of the race, huh? What made you so special again, PALIN: Well, sheesh. That ain’t very nice at all. Hillary? Was it your vast foreign policy expe- And since everyone is offering up their opinrience which involved all of the heavy-hitting ions of everybody here in the room, I’ve got negotiation skills of politely telling Sarkozy’s some of my own. John, you were never really nice to me. bimbo wife that she spilled her macchiato all over herself, but she’s too drugged-out to even I mean, ever since I was selected to be your notice? What a tricky situation! Or navigating running mate, you never let up with the whinthe narrow road of whether to say you’re a Liverpool or a Manchester fan? You make me sick. As for you, “Mr. President-Elect,” you’re the worst offender here. With your youthful smile and soothing, eloquent speeches…blech! I’m the REAL politician here! I’ve been delivering that straight talk bullshit years before were even allowed to attend a law school! The only change I wish you’d bring would be to less yourself…I want e Wire e r F you to die. et! Intern So happy Festivus, assholes. I hope you all die ig Ten in a fire. NFL, B At this point the rest of the group is in a shocked silence. Obama steps forward and puts his hand on McCain’s shoulder. He clears his throat and begins to speak. OBAMA: Well John…
rk! Netwo
ing. “Oh, that’s not who I wanted! I wanted Lieberman! She can’t even tie her shoes!” Those things were very hurtful, John. Don’t ya know? I tried my best, and tried to memorize all those things you gave me before each debate, but there were all those big words, you know?! Like, I may not know where Yemen is, but does it really matter? All I need to know is that I’ve got Jesus in my heart and that I still have to worry about them darn Ruskies invading my state’s homefront. I stare down Putin everyday, and it’s scary! Joe, you weren’t to nice to me either. Those debates with you weren’t very fair, and always made me look bad. So what if I didn’t want to answer the question completely? I was just being honest with the good ol’ American people! It’s not fair! I was totally unprepared for the debates…I mean, what good is a debate if I didn’t know the questions ahead of time? McCAIN (whispers to a party guest): I doubt it would have mattered…dumb broad. The rest of the party is silent, not sure what to do after all of the emotional outbursts from these three political bigwigs pouring out their heart and soul. Suddenly, as if a Festivus miracle, an unexpected guest wanders into the room… SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Chri…err, Festivus! OBAMA, McCAIN, PALIN: Santa?!? SANTA:That’s right! Now, I know that this holiday is simply a diversion away from my holiday,
see FESTIVUS, page 23
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Top 10 films of '08 By Nick Cabreza
nicholas.cabreza@secondsupper.com Note: Many of 2008's best films (Che, The Reader, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, etc.) will actually be released after this issue is published. Keep reading Second Supper and look for these reviews and more to come! 10. W. Oliver Stone's well-acted biopic of George W. Bush is both uncritical and damningly-penetrating at the same time. A Freudian character study involving perhaps the most powerful family in America, W. tends to mesmerize more than it entertains. It's difficult to balance comedy, intrigue, melancholy, and inspiration, but W. pulls it off nicely. 9. In Bruges — In Bruges' tone swifts so drastically from comedic to heart-wrenching to action-packed so frequently and seamlessly that it's impossible to categorize this violent hitman free-for-all. In Bruges is one of the most all-around entertaining movies of the year simply because you don't see it coming. 8. The Visitor — By far the simplest, mostsubtly moving film of the year, The Visitor tells the story of a bored college professor whose life is shaken up by two illegal immigrants accidentally staying in his apartment. Because The Visitor is more about the characters and not the scenarios in which they find themselves, it safely steers clear of any corny melodramatic moments, allowing the characters, and the audience, to reflect thoughtfully on the events shaping their world. 7. Slumdog Millionaire — Danny Boyle's intense drama about a former Mumbai orphan named Jamal who has the chance to become a millionaire on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? is very comparable to 2002's City of God. Slumdog Millionaire is consistently exhilarating, jumping back and forth between the gameshow and the events in Jamal's life that explain how he knows the answers, effectively telling the story of his difficult childhood. It's one of the more interesting premises in any film this year, and it's used to great effect, painting a broad portrait of a person overcoming horrible tragedies, dealing with an explosive sibling relationship, and pursuing long-lost love. Slumdog Millionaire is often difficult and depressing to watch, but there's plenty reason to cheer by the time the final credits roll.
4. WALL-E — My new favorite Pixar animated film. It certainly has one of the most compelling plots of the bunch. WALL-E boasts two incredibly detailed and fully-realized sci-fi environments: a humanless, waste-filled earth 700 years in the future, and the intergalactic cruise ship that has sustained automated human life ever since earth became uninhabitable. It's interesting to think about the film's environmental subtexts, but regardless of that, WALL-E is just plain fun. 3. Man on Wire — The events leading up to Philippe Petit's infamous tightrope walk between the Twin Towers might not seem like very interesting subject matter for a documentary, but the filmmakers behind Man on Wire have crafted a heist planning/procedural film more exhilarating and moving than most bigbudget heist movies. The need to pick up your jaw after it drops will invariably arise, as will the need to stand up and cheer. 2. Milk — Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was the first movie that made me want to cry in the theater; Million Dollar Baby was the second; Milk was the third. I saw it last week before a sold-out theater in Madison, and I've never heard an audience erupt in such enthusiastic applause. By itself, Milk stands as a heartfelt, endearing biopic, but its unfortunate modern-day relevance make it something greater, more astonishing. Milk's overall message is one of hope, taking great care to express that from the negative there will one day arise something positive. 1. The Dark Knight — You put a comics fan in charge of picking the best movie of the year and expected him not to choose The Dark Knight? Even though it could have been more succinct, The Dark Knight is a crime saga as harrowing as The Departed and as epic as The Godfather. In my original review of TDK, I called it "Shakespearean," and rightly so. It's a tragedy with dynamic characters fighting against the fates that others would have them accept, and a titanic battle between good and evil in which the adversaries wear masks in an effort to control Gotham with an influence neither the police nor mob possess. Every individual scene feels as gargantuan and important as the astonishing whole. Though the memory of the Joel Schumacher Batman films still lingers, at least it's no longer embarrassing to admit you're a Batman fan.
6. Synecdoche, New York — In an interview on The Colbert Report, Charlie Kaufman explained that there is no wrong interpretation of his film Synecdoche, New York — everyone is correct. And he's right, for no two interpretations will be the same. The film is too dizzyingly complex and tangled to see only once. It practically necessitates discussion — a good thing, because weeding through this one is an adventure in itself. 5. Funny Games — By far the most brutal, disturbing film I've seen in a theater. I prefer tragic, depressing endings over happy ones, so it's a good thing when I say that Funny Games made me feel like absolute shit. More horrifying than any traditional horror film, Funny Games is often unbearable to watch. This might be higher on my list were it not a remake.
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
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A visit from Festivus
Top 10 books of '08 By Brett Emerson
brett.emerson@secondsupper.com I broke a promise I made to myself at the beginning of this year – to read one of the two billion James Patterson books to be released in 2008. Being a dirty promise-breaker doesn’t feel so bad. So here’s the best and worst of the new releases which I did read this year. Maybe next time I’ll follow through on the Patterson reading, even though Andy Schoepp will still kill him. Dishonorable Mentions: Chuck Norris — Black Belt Patriotism and Chuck Palahniuk — Snuff. It wasn’t a good year to be a wordy Chuck. Palahniuk took his factoid-drowned breed of shock writing to the utterly predictable pasture of gangbang films, while Norris screamed at a nation of atheists and queers to get off his lawn. 10. Dick Masterson — Men Are Better than Women The premise that all women are conniving princesses while men are sensitive philosopher-poets is so ridiculous in presentation that it obscures the sharp satire against both genders’ stereotypes. 9. Marie Phillips — Gods Behaving Badly Olympians drink, and screw, and wreak havoc in prim England, where a couple of nitwits stumble into their crosshairs. A wonderful mixture of fable and invention. 8. Matt Ruff — Bad Monkeys The angels and demons of Bad Monkeys fight a proxy war, with the weapon of choice being surveillance. The bizarre tale of the messed up hero Jane Charlotte isn’t as compelling as the technology used to tell it. 7. Rick Shenkman — Just How Stupid Are We? Facing the Truth About the American Voter Tippecanoe and Tyler, too. The Nixon-Kennedy debates. Fox News. And so on. Regardless of one’s political positions, everyone is a target audience, ripe for brainwashing. Put on your tin-foil helmets, because they’re after you.
6. Austin Grossman — Soon I Will Be Invincible Mwahaha, this book says to the starry moon. Capers and world domination plans are hatched by the dastardly Doctor Impossible, who would be a sympathetic figure if he wasn’t trying to blow up the earth. 5. Michael Green, Denys Cowan, John Floyd, Prentis Rollins — Batman: Lovers and Madmen This background story of the Joker, in the vein of Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke, helped set the stage for Heath Ledger’s titanic performance in the Dark Knight. The Clown Prince of Crime depicted herein is bored to tears by invincibility, and brought back to life by an unhinged Batman. 4. Augusten Burroughs — A Wolf at the Table Crazed dads who drink and stalk through the house at night are a dime a dozen, but Burroughs tells the story of his old man’s reign of terror like a good horror story. 3. Alan Weisman — The World without Us No more people? Yes, please! 2. Stephen King — Duma Key King’s latest is a winding tale of a one-armed painter on an island of the damaged. It’s difficult to make long stories so convincing, especially when all the action is saved until the second half, but King’s ability to tell stories and not situations makes this book one of completion. 1. Andy Schoepp — Life and Money Heist Oh, yeah! Andy Schoepp strikes back with his patented armada of literary tricks. The action is harder, the sex is hotter, and the villains are total bastards in need of a spin kick to the face. Once again, Schoepp’s talent for translating the martial arts to paper makes for gold. For the second year in a row, Andy Schoepp rules the school. Will next year be any different? Could it?
‘Twas the night before deadline, and all through the staff Not a writer was writing, not even rough drafts. The office was stocked with its smokes and its beer, Yet no ideas flowed for the last issue this year. We had sat on our couches and let our mouths run, But what could we do that hadn’t already been done? Neither Bri with her Apple, nor I with my Dell Had probing new scoops nor ideas to tell. Breaking the silence came cry from Ben, “Why don’t we do a Festivus Issue again?” Hell, yeah! That’d be awesome — together we’d sing So I went to the living room to gather the things The Festivus Pole, it shimmered so dear O’er there in the corner where we stuck it last year. Bespeckled in duct tape and much ornamentation, The pole defied tradition, but incited elation. So with a touch of pomp and shimmer of grace I set the pole by the mantle, near the fireplace. Writers rejoiced, and towards me they came. Airing of grievances, “Let’s shout them by name!” Now Johnsrud! now, Palin! now, Miley and LiLo! On, Biden! on, Paris! On Don’t Tase Me, Bro! More rapid that broadband, the curses they came, We YouTubed and HooHoo’d and ruled them all lame. So mercilessly we proceeded on with out mocking With humor more black than the coal in our stocking. Then out came this idea while writers stood ‘round “Let’s take all this bitching and write it all down!” How their eyes twinkled with inflated self-worth! And lo the ruddy dimples of ruthless mirth! I could see this new topic would suit them quite fine, And we’d have no trouble in making deadline; Brett hated old music and new animation And Shuggy took on the Baby Boom generation. Inconsiderate customers had Kelly yelling While Emily ranted on the rampant misspellings.
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Pint gave a nuanced review of the Bachelor But I didn’t expect that sketch of the chancellor. Ben spoke not a word but banged out a critique I wanted to read it, but I don’t understand 1337 We filled up our word count, and before we were done We got a comic from Cabreza and a new Future Sons. And we laughed and we smirked as we went off to press If you’re not in this issue, we’re getting you next! — Adam Bissen December 18, 2008
The Airing of Grievances Brett Emerson A Few of My Least Favorite Things Condescension. Vodka as antidepressant. Useless work ethics. Socialist! Exhaustion. Boredom. Star Wars games. Computer screens. The Internet. Needing. Being needed. Shut-ins. Staring at walls. Expectation. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Shiftlessness. Inertia. Stephenie Meyer. LOLVampirez. Power bills. Downsizing. Repetition. Middle School. Fear of punishment. Calling for honesty, and not really wanting it. Intrusion. Noise. Impending nihilism. Addiction. Dishwashing. The past four months of sweet fuck-all. Distraction. Luxury. Stinkless shit.Text messaging. Life imprisonment. The Scene. Writer’s block. Parliament lungs. Orange juice. Knowing too much trivia. Stasis. Passiveness. Presidential drinking games. Morning. Getting old. Hugging the bar. Sadism and masochism. Procrastination. Entitlement.Title dictates behavior. Programming. Peer to peer overload. Other people’s girlfriends. Pandemic musical addiction. Wasted weekends. Kwik Trip car washes. Appeal to authority. Insignificance. Lifers. Agoraphobia. Princesses. Daze losing its arcade machine. Emotional vertigo. Broken glasses. Narrow alleys. Cat urine. Hecklers. Psychotics. Pringles. Weather reports. All the time in the world. Nothing. Unhappiness. Having problems.
Shuggypop Jackson I'm a bicyclist to the core, yet there is a law in the books that says I'm not allowed to ride my bike downtown, the place I live, work, socialize, and rarely leave. Phooey on your silly little law, La Crosse. I throw a shoe at you Iraqi journalist style. Second hand smoke, you are the bane of my existence since moving here.You give me chest pains and make my clothes reek like a dirty ashtray.Yeah, yeah, I'm just another smug nonsmoker whining away. Enjoy your day in the sun, smokers, it's only a matter of time before the laws relegate you to back alleys next to a dumpster and a urine puddle where your vile habit belongs. Dear garbage man, if you must empty the dumpster in my alley at 5 in the morning, do you have to body slam it around the way you do and make such a racket? Seriously, I'm trying to fall asleep at that hour. Here is a little secret, Shuggypop Jackson isn't my real name. It's a pseudonym I created to allow me to talk all kinds of crazy shit in this paper without it being affiliated to the man behind the name. Just like Mark Twain, Clark Kent, or Prince Adam, it is a name meant to protect my identity. For those of you who know me, stop calling me Shuggypop outside of the comforts of HQ. OK, thanks, bye! Numerous drunk girls downtown every weekend night, I can appreciate that you have post-bar munchies, but do you have to shriek in that obnoxious drunken slur "OMG, I WANT JIMMY JOHNS!!" in the streets outside HQ? On the other hand, it is the inspiration behind an idea I have to bring my camera downtown and take pictures of the drunkest girls I find in embarrassing situations to put in the pages of this paper to give your mothers heart attacks.
Adam Bissen It was an election for the ages — the Gilded Age maybe! — and it wasn’t just confined to 2008. We have officially entered the era of the permanent campaign. What we witnessed this November (and the 24 months that preceded it) wasn’t the making of the news of the day. No, it was more like the schlock of coordinated theater that would have been amusing if not for the affront of restraint, reason, or respect that political actors skeeted across the voting public. And my guy even won! Years from now someone may put the 2008 election into its proper perspective, but right now I’m gagging on hyperbole and myth. How many magazine covers need a Photoshopped halo effect before we awaken to the ruse of the political process? How many talking heads must spout anemic gibberish before we realize they’ve been guillotined before they ever went on the air? I swear, if this were some kind of Steven Soderbergh satire or an election in Canada I might view it all with just a bemused smirk. But this is our method of guiding the most powerful institution on the planet, and if we can’t handle that responsibility without trite gimmickry than we might as well hand over the keys and concede that someone else is driving. Sarah Palin … honestly? Arugula and lipstick-ed pigs? George Stephanopoulos, Jeremiah Wright, and Joe the Plumber are considered worthy barometers of American thought, but Ron Paul and Ralph Nader aren’t even invited to debate? It’s no wonder that we drown in trivia but act blindsided by economic cycles.We don’t even need the wool pulled over our eyes anymore. It’s enough for someone in a Windsor knot to say “Hey, what’s that over there?” As usual, I’ll put the blame right on media’s shoulders. America — and by arrogant extension, the world — is beset with plenty of heavy shit right now: Extend hegemony or practice restraint? Tax the masses or let money flow free? People are richer, poorer, more informed, and more distracted than they’ve ever been in the history of the world, yet rather than probe these paradoxes our newspaper reporters bus around the country like lapdogs while the TV news confines communication to 10-second bits. Strange, then, that entire commercial blocks can be purchased by political action committees and front-runners can splurge on primetime infomercials. In the marketplace of ideas, you might get what you pay for. But in the MySpace era, reasoned debated is more devalued than a share of GM.
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Jacob Bielanski I have some grievances to air with the Second Supper.That’ right, I’m going to go ahead and burn this bridge just as I’ve begun to cross it. It sits housed in its cool downtown offices and holds late night meetings, defiant in the face of the regular business world. I’m only 26-god-damn-yearsold, and yet somehow your very existence makes me want to apply for my American Association for Retired Persons (AARP) card. How the hell does a group that sponsor’s '80s-themed parties pull that one off? I was 8-years-old when the eighties ended! I mean, seriously, you crushed my hopes of ever being a respected columnist by putting me on the “Road Trips” beat. Did you sit in one of your fancy meetings and say “Hey, we cover all this cool stuff, now we need to counterbalance it with an old guy.” Cue Jacob Bi—Bu—Bawathisname! You know what my next "Road Trip" is going to be, Second Supper? Your mom’s house. Boo-ya. I’m sorry, Second Supper, that was out of line. Please don’t leave me.
Ben Clark I know these complaints are pretty regular for anybody that’s worked a day in their life where they had to *shudder* interact with another person, but frankly, retail customers, I’ve got a lot of problems with you. First off, if you see me wearing a name tag and holding a device that beeps when I scan an item, then I most likely work there. You don’t have to ask me, because it makes you look like a complete dumbass and I feel embarrassed for you, because you lack even the most basic levels of observation. I’m amazed you didn’t crash your car on the way to the store, because I doubt that you saw the lights change. Another thing, If you want me to find you a product of some sort, know at least a little basic information about it. Coming to me and asking me to find you something that’s blue and came out a month ago isn’t going to cut it. I’m sorry that I’m not omnipotent and have no friggin’ idea what you’re talking about. Also, don’t ask me for gift suggestions. I don’t freaking know your family, and God help me, I don’t want to know anything about them. So asking me for advice on which book you should get your 78 year-old mother in law is a bad idea, and I will probably suggest the book “Dying Well” by Ira Byock. Buy it, you putz!
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“A Lovers Boutique”
Maria Pint In 2008, I have been royally screwed over by the one and only University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. The year before my senior year of high school, I looked into several colleges and universities in the Midwest. I knew exactly what profession I wanted to go into even at the age of 17 and I haven’t changed my mind since. I selected UW-L because I thought that it could provide me with the best degree for my desired field. But I was wrong, very very wrong. In my time at La Crosse, I have done nothing but take pointless classes that have taught me nothing. I have had countless professors who have been extremely unhelpful to students, and professors who didn’t know anything about the subject they were supposed to be teaching. For the first two years at UW-L, I sat back and took it. I assumed that once I got into my program, it would get better. Surely the classes designed to prepare me for my future career would be worth while and engaging, right? Again, I was very very wrong in this assumption. I have been working towards my degree for two and a half years now, never having switched my major, and I’m not even sure that I can get out in four years. I have had to waste time and money to retake classes that are exactly the same just relabeled because my program requirements have changed as often as my hairstyles do. If I do manage to jump through all of the hoops that the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse has put in my way in four years flat, it will be a miracle. And with all of the time and effort I am spending just to insure that I receive exactly what I’m paying for, all I will have to show for it in the end is a piece of paper that says I graduated. So please, take my advice readers: whatever you do, don’t enroll in the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. And if you already are a student at UW-L, I’m sorry.
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Kelly Sampson The only grievance that I have is about my stalker. Yeah I have a stalker. I tease my friends about stalking me when they happen to be where I am. They think it’s funny. Well, Karma is a bitch because now I have one for real. So this 50-something-year-old woman is following me around! She shows up where I work. She just so happens to show up where I live while I'm moving in and grabs one of the boxes out of the truck and starts carying stuff up to my apartment, so now she knows where I live. She came to my work several times and wanted me to help her with something that she bought a year ago. Me being nice, I did. That’s when she told me that she wanted to “watch me take a bath”!!!!! So I have this message to my Old Lady Stalker: Do I look like I would be attracted to you? Do I look like I want to have a good time? No, so just get the first hint and stop hitting on me and asking me out. If I see you stalking me any more I will call the cops! I know that you know where I live, please forget the address! If you come to my work again I will have the Mall Guards remove you.You know who you are, and I know that you read all the articles I write. That’s very stalker of you. Go away, move on, get over it and get the ‘F’ out! Just remember “No means No” and I carry pepper spray where ever I go, and I know how to use it.
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The Holiday Road Trip: Tips for Sanity, Budgeting ridiculous amounts of money.
By Jacob Bielanski
jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com I want to welcome all of our new readers — last year, $100 extra wasn’t too much to pay for a direct flight to see your family; last month, you were on the phone with Orbitz after a $2 fuel surcharge appeared; today you’re picking up a free newspaper in the hopes of finding more cost saving tips. The climbing cost of flights collides harshly with the falling price of unleaded. What caused this sudden, two-dollar drop in gas? Who cares — your 401(k) is tanked, the variable interest rate on your mortgage has “varied” against you, or college tuition rates are rising. Global warming be damned, 500 miles in a car just doesn’t seem that bad anymore. Here are a couple of hints for you budget-auto-travel newcomers to make your holiday plans more pleasant. 1. Remember that gas stations don’t make money from the gas. All the “experts” will tell this sudden drop in fuel prices is that supply has exceeded demand. While everyone is quietly breathing a sigh of relief, convenience stores with gas pumps are wringing their hands and salivating. The gas station is the final point in a long and complicated distribution chain, meaning that their profit margins on the gas — assuming they get any — are not the driving factor in their business plan. Convenient goods, such as NoDoze, Horny Goat Weed, 20 oz. bottles of soda, small packages of tampons, coffee and beef jerky all carry a conveniently ridiculous markup. This isn’t anything particularly new, but on a two-, three- or nine-hundred mile journey, these stops can become expensive. Consider the following example: say all I purchase is a bottle of Pepsi every time I stop for gas ($1.49). My car, under the best circumstances, gets 30 miles to the gallon from a 13-gallon tank. On a round-trip to Chicago, I will stop at least twice, costing me $2.98. On a trip to Knoxville, TN (858 miles, if you avoid Chicago), I’ll stop at least five times, costing $7.45 (100 oz. of Pepsi total). A twelve pack of Pepsi (144 Oz. of Pepsi) at any grocery store costs approximately $4. Three bucks doesn’t seem like a bank breaker, but multiply that by all the other conveniences — beef jerky, candy bars, prophylactics, aspirin, etc.,— and you’ll quickly see the difference amount to much more. Multiply that by all the other people in your car and…well, you get the idea. Through the usage of a cooler and a trip to the grocery you have the possibility of saving
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2. Prepare for the worst. You know how everyone always quotes that statistic about most auto accidents happening within 20 miles of home? Consider that statement for a second, and ask yourself, “Where does most of my driving occur?” You are not “safe” when you get 20 miles from your house, just less inclined to search for that one mix CD, while lighting a smoke, between bites of an extra-bacon, manwich-filled burrito (the wrap is low-carb) and operating a car with a manual transmission. Use the two second rule when following a vehicle and only go as fast as you feel comfortable (unless I’m stuck behind you, then you’d better get your ass in gear). 3. For the last time — cars need maintenance! Certain recommendations have been repeated — and repeatedly ignored — for generations. Lord knows, I’ve consistently driven my vehicle two-, three-, sometimes six thousand miles past its oil change date. But when the big trip comes up, do not skimp on this bit of routine maintenance. If you need a good reason, besides the wear on your engine, then consider gas mileage. Basic physics dictates that the harder it is for your engine’s pistons to move (e.g. when they’re not as lubricated), more power is required to move them. “Power” is engineer jargon for “gas.” The maintenance shouldn’t stop at the oil change. A $2 tire pressure gauge and a few minutes checking your pressure can save you from a fatal blowout. If your need a lesson on the danger of blowouts, just imagine what would happen to your car if a gremlin suddenly removed just one of your tires…at 75 miles an hour (read: rollover…if you’re lucky). Keeping you tires inflated can also — yet again — save your car from requiring excess “power.” 4. Travel only with people you know and love. The temptation of splitting fuel expenses on a cross-country journey is certainly understandable. The venerable Samuel Clemens (a.k.a. Mark Twain) wrote "I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them." Let me assure you from experience: you will discover this about your companion about 2 miles outside of the point-of-no-return. Then you’re stuck with ‘em. Of course, young lovers should use this as an opportunity to truly gauge whether their relationship should go any further. If you can spend multiple hours in a cramped space — sans sexual activity — without the journey ending in violence, then get married… immediately. 5. Packs your bags…and then leave half of it behind. One can only imagine how many different scenarios can spring up while you’re out of town. What if an old hometown friend invites you to a Gala Ball? Won’t you look like a grade-A douche bag when you show up without your tuxedo? After we account for formal wear, our favorite pomade (I’m a Redken man, m’self), our lucky T-shirt, our other lucky T-shirt, a towel,
a smaller towel, portable DVD player, the laptop, our “Saved By the Bell” boxed set, a pair of swim trunks, our workout clothes (just in case we receive will power and discipline for Christmas) and two bottle openers (redundancy is key) we’re left with a frustratingly unmanageable mess. Overpacking is simply what we do as human beings. When we leave our comfort zone, it’s natural to be terrified of the “What ifs.” The problem is that when we start managing problems that have a 2 percent chance of happening (does my cummerbund need ironing?), we create new problems that have a 100 percent chance of happening. Overstuffed trunks and cramped spaces immediately come to mind. A more in-depth analysis of this phenomenon and the ways to lighten your load can be found at the Web site onebag.com.
The holidays have become a depressing time for travel — point A to point B, with a stop at Taco Bell, and back. It’s amazing how adding an hour or two to your itinerary and taking smaller roads can vastly improve you mood upon arrival. Getting out of the car to see something interesting or have a sit-down meal (which you can afford, because you listened to tip #1) gets the blood moving and makes the journey something less than a task.A vastly improved mood creates vastly improved holidays, which vastly improves the quality of time we spend with our requisite loved ones. Isn’t that the whole reason we do this to ourselves every year? Photos by Jamie Peacock
6. Take Time. “Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go…” If Grandma wasn’t killed by the asbestos she inhaled working a munitions plant during World War II, then she sure as hell isn’t self-sufficient. The river is significantly lower these days, the result of a series of irrigation projects. And the woods? Well, let’s just say that after the logging companies had their way with them, the developers got “sloppy seconds.” This has made for a bland journey, across a vast and boring landscape simply to absolve ourselves of the guilt of not seeing these people the other 51 weeks of the year. Over the creek and through the subdivision, to grandmother’s assisted living facility we drive.
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Buy 1 Game Get 1 Used Game For Half Off Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
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Two Week Notice...REJECTED! I won’t get into the details of my recent decline in wellbeing, save that it partially involved the paradox of my not playing well with others, yet being too polite to speak up for myself. As the agoraphobia grew to encompass my entire being, eliminating all creative output and leaving me an emotional deaf-mute, I decided that the best remedy for this would be to destroy the patterns and safety nets, and run screaming from the wreckage. For starters, I’d have to quit my day job. Now my job is full of good shits, people I’m friends with, people I’ve gotten blotto with, and one person who is responsible for me writing for this paper. Considering this, I suppose that it shouldn’t have been a surprise that, when I drew up my nerve and gave the head cheese my two week notice, he would tell me to get bent. I was stunned. Is that legal? We spent an hour and a half going over the minutiae of my craplousy state, coming up with solutions which didn’t involve me dumpster diving or hijacking Wiis to pay off the landlords. And I decided to put the vanishing on hiatus. Everything will come out in the wash, for good or ill, but having a boss who cares enough to talk a person off the ledge — and not just for the sake of inertia — is golden. As someone who grew up in the principal’s office, my distrust of authority figures has more often than not borne punished fruit. But like I said, I work with good shits. — Brett Emerson Cougar Hunting...HAS BEGUN! Shuggypop Jackson is hereby declaring 2009 the Year of the Cougar. That's right, mature ladies of La Crosse, I'm coming for you! Shuggypop is going to go balls to the wall, checking all dignity at the door, seeking out potential Shuggymamas. The cougar hunt is on, and you will be able to read my no holds barred shameless exploits right here in Dispatches From HQ. Maria Pint, you aren't the only self-absorbed columnist who can offer a voyeuristic look into your life. Ladies, I'll be tracking you down in bars, finding you online, chatting you up on the treadmills at the Onalaska YMCA, flirting in grocery store aisles while pretending to shop, and attending those 5K runs for breast cancer or whatever do-good stuff it is you do with your free time that we don't cover in our pages. A pathetic stunt, perhaps, but do you think other local celebrities like Molly Nichols or Jen O'Brien would offer you the chance to date them? I think not. Shuggypop Jackson is the only media darling in these parts offering this sort of awesome. What women in town aren't going to be jumping out of their seats for a chance like this? Sure, I've never had a picture of myself in the pages of this paper and I don't reveal my real name, but I scoff at anybody who would find that creepy. While I assume that the way I write circles around the average chump with my patented brilliance and wit makes for one-handed reading to the female masses, I know the true ace I have up my sleeve is appealing to the vanity of women by offering them the chance to appear in my column. I'm also recruiting members for Team Shuggy to help in the hunt. If you are out and about and see some cougars, send me a text and let me know where they are grazing. Do you know a cougar, perhaps a neighbor or coworker who would be game, send me an email to get this party started. Get ready to live through my shenanigans vicariously, faithful Second Supper readers, cougar hunting is on! — Shuggypop Jackson Two Week Break...ANTICIPATED! It's 9 p.m. on deadline day as I write this. My brain is trying to plow its way through quicksand (may have been the drinks last night), my eyes are burning and teary (may have been the hours of gazing at a day glo screen), and my shoulders and neck are sore (thank you ergonomically-incorrect desk setup.) Yes, as I type from a Gander Mountain camping chair, on a computer that should have been thrown off of the fire escape months ago, I should be cranky. I should be at this second wishing to get kidnapped by aliens, just to have a valid excuse not to continue working into the wee hours. But alas! I am neither of these things. I'm actually pretty ecstatic. Why? It may have something to do with yet another kick-ass issue of Second Supper close to being sent off to the press. But I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that the main cause of my giddy demeanor is the fact that your favorite local publication will soon have...two weeks off! Holla! Assuming that you care, here's what I'm planning for two weeks of bliss away from the computer: Hike in a snowy Hixon Forest. Bake Christmas cookies. Read a book off of my list. Work on my coffee table collage. Send a wedding gift to my friends who got hitched...two months ago. Play ping pong at Pearl Street Brewery while slamming down some stouts. Speaking of beer, indulge in a bottle of Southern Tier's new imperial lager, Krampus. Curl up in a blanket and watch Lost DVDs. Perfect my dumpling recipe. Play more Apples to Apples. Get a massage (hellooo, gift certificate!). Rock karaoke at Players on Tuesday nights. Actually leave the house on Wednesdays. Go thrift store shopping. Discover new music. Write my grandma a letter. Paint my nails. Then throw this computer off of the fire escape, welcoming the new year as a rejuvenated, stress-free copyeditor. That is, if I still have my job. — Briana Rupel
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Top 10 albums of '08
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By Brett Emerson
brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins recently went on record saying that the Pumpkins weren’t going to bother making albums anymore. Claiming that the music audience has changed in the age of media overload, Corgan stated that he would cut the bullshit and release only singles from here on in. The message was common: nobody listens to albums anymore. Here’s my list of ten examples that shoot down Mr. Corgan’s theory. Very little here is negligible or throwaway. Any of the top four albums could have been number one; the winner was decided purely on cultural impact. Despite our often pessimistic, seen-em-all attitudes toward modern music, 2008 was a very good year for music. Dishonorable Mention: New Kids on the Block – The Block Ooh, girl, you got me so bad girl. Akon, would you care to tell my girl how much I care for her? Akon says ooh, girl, too. Bleh. When a fivepiece singing group needs backup, it’s doomed. Call me Donny, bitch. 10. The B-52s — Funplex Fred Schneider’s dirtiest lyrics since “There’s a Monster in My Pants” mix with some of the danciest rock this side of New Order and deliver the year’s best comeback album. Viva la Fred! 9. Vampire Weekend To be sure, Vampire Weekend is The Police for college snobs (which depending on who you ask is redundant), yet the cheer in the band’s music eclipses the Ivy League from whence it came. Look for these songs in “The Life Aquatic 2: Zissou’s Revenge.” 8. Nine Inch Nails — The Slip When Trent Reznor released his newest album for free, the act stood as further proof that he had lost his goddamn mind. To bust out music this crafted and furious in the short time it took to record the tracks shows that musicians don’t need to live by release schedules and once-a-year creativity. Even a guy who had a hand in the creation of five albums in a single year can avoid oversaturation. Socialist! 7. Ben Folds — Back to Normal Folds’ fabled pottymouth is once more given free reign in cheerful tunes like “Bitch Went Nuts.” His duet with Regina Spektor in “You Don’t Know Me” is a school play number which anchors the album with philosophy and synth. The range on this album is much greater than was found on Folds’ previous album, Songs for Silverman, bringing explosions to play with the quiet. 6. The Mars Volta — The Bedlam in Goliath The songs on Bedlam are as big and monstrous as the rest of The Mars Volta’s work. “Goliath,” in particular, is a track as big as its name, and many times more psychotic. The orchestra spins its usual web through waves of chaos, mysticism, and science fiction, emerging from the silk with another solid madness.
5. Black Light Burns — Cover Your Heart and the Anvil Pants Odyssey Under Wes Borland’s direction, Black Light Burns has grown from sordid gloom to hard eccentricity.The band’s collection of covers and instrumental tracks draws from a wide array of source material. Obvious takes on Iggy Pop and Duran Duran are done well, while unknown songs are brought to greater prominence. And Borland covers himself. Kaufmanesque! 4. George Carlin — It’s Bad for Ya Any comedian who goes out mouthing off on Hell and death is living the humor, not just speaking it.Yet Carlin’s ire, as always, fails to rest on one topic, however morbid it may be in retrospect. More colors of the human spectrum are ripped out and skewered by Georgie, from parent worship to the illusion of rights. His final album is as good as anything he’s made. 3. Does It Offend You, Yeah? – You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into Does It Offend You, Yeah? mixes the best elements of dance music with indie rock. The beats and bleeps on every track shake the floor, whether the song stomps or swings. The name is long, but this is the best dance album of the year, hands down. 2. Amanda Palmer — Who Killed Amanda Palmer? This is one of the most stunning albums to come out in 2008. Palmer’s divergence from her usual cabaret sneers in The Dresden Dolls loses no power in its greater accessibility. The bombastic swagger of “Leeds United” could bitch-slap Frank Sinatra from beyond the grave. Despite the album’s tendency toward sarcasm and gloom (and the occasional delight-ridden ditty about rape and abortion), Amanda Palmer has a bright future on both sides of the fence. 1. Nine Inch Nails — Ghosts I-IV Radiohead’s half-cocked freebie release of In Rainbows was quickly swallowed by Trent Reznor’s more committed business model. While The Slip went for free, conscionable fans could cough up a measly five bucks and receive four albums worth of signature NIN instrumentals. And guess what? People bought it! Though the success of Ghosts must rest in large degree on brand recognition, Reznor’s example gives hope that one can still make a successful, profitable work of art, should one have something memorable to offer.
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Shuggypop's top 50 albums of '08 By Shuggypop Jackson
Cat Power – Jukebox Sadcore maiden goes Memphis.
It's too difficult for me to boil down an entire year to just ten selections. Instead, I'm going with a top fifty, in no particular order. Yet I'm still cringing inside as I could easily include another fifty. I realize a majority of these bands are somewhat obscure and you may not have heard of them, but that's too bad for you;- make your own list and put it in your own paper. Or email Maria Pint and tell her to make a top 10, she's not at all an elitist music nerd the way us Second Supper boys are. I'm sure her tastes are more up your alley.
Portishead – Third What took them so long?
shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy – Lie Down In the Light Meditative troubadour doing what he does. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes & Sun Giant EP Newcomers of the year, hands down. Girl Talk – Feed the Animals Definition of guilty pleasure, I can't help but smile. Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III Cliched pick? Perhaps. Deal with it. The Magnetic Fields – Distortion Orch-pop meets Psychocandy.
Silver Jews – Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea Sometimes I just like hyper-literate lyrics. Madlib – Beat Konducta Vol. 5+6 Dil Cosby & WLIB AM King of the Wigflip More hip-hop needs to sound like this. TV on the Radio – Dear Science Are becoming consistently reliable at being awesome. Max Richter – 24 Postcards in Full Colour Created a new genre known as post-classical. M83 – Saturdays=Youth French shoegazers make music for the morning after. Autechre – Quaristice One of the Big 3 of IDM do it again. Brightblack Morning Light – Motion To Rejoin Where jam band and indie rock collide.
Mount Eerie – Lost Wisdom Phil Elverum, will you be my friend?
Boduf Songs – How Shadows Chase the Balance Haunting folk for the Nick Drake/Elliott Smith set.
Earth – The Bees Made Honey In the Lion's Skull Creeping stoner rock from pioneers of the game.
Evangelista – Hello, Voyager Dark, spooky, not for the faint of heart.
David Byrne and Brian Eno – Everything That Happens Will Happen Today Aging with dignity, take note boomer rockers. Deerhunter – Microcastle Blog hype band of the year. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend Too catchy to not like. Beach House – Devotion Neo-psychedelia that channels Nico. Department of Eagles – In Ear Park Nocturnal, ethereal, atmospheric, amazing. Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago Wisconsin guy + delicate beauty. Spiritualized – Songs in A & E J Spaceman, how do you stay so relevant? Erykah Badu – New Amerykah Part 1 (4th World War) Toned down the empowerment, turned up the funk. Flying Lotus – Los Angeles The mantle of J Dilla has been passed. Animal Collective – Water Cures EP All that is wonderful and weird flows through them.
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Matmos – Supreme Balloon Glitchy, twitchy, headphone masterpiece to tune the world out. Abe Vigoda – Skeleton Token representatives from The Smell venue in LA that is the launching pad of the next big thing. Fennesz – Black Sea Experimental soundscapes of multilayered density. Gas – Nah und Fern Boxset from ambient techno heavyweight. Bardo Pond – Batholith & Circuit 8 Space rock that makes me want a sandwich. Jackie-O Motherfucker – The Blood of Life Makes me miss Portland. Why? – Alopecia Indie rock meets backpacker hiphop. Fuck Buttons – Street Horrrsing Drone on, noiseniks. Deerhoof – Offend Maggie Quirky, cutesy, adorable, art damaged.
Mercury Rev – Snowflake Midnight Another gem from the avant-pop prankster's long, strange trip. Okkervil River – The Stand Ins Neil Young, your mojo has been cloned. Dungen – 4 Scandinavian retro rockers think it's still 1971. Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso UFO – Recurring Dreams These Japanese heads seem to drop an album a month to take your mind on a trip through the cosmos. Juana Molina – Un Dia As elegant as an Argentine Audrey Hepburn. Sigur Ros – Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust Did somebody slip these Icelanders some prozac? Surgeon – This Is For You Shits Soundtrack to cleaning my apartment. Benga – Diary of An Afro Warrior Dubstep is blowing up across the pond. The Bug – London Zoo Dubstep is also colliding with illbient. The Kills – Midnight Boom Minimalist garage rock from bluesy punk duo. The Walkmen – You & Me Shadowy, introspective, and moody for when I feel lonely. Horse Feathers – House With No Home Also makes me miss Portland. Mitch Hedberg – Do You Believe In Gosh? Because sometimes I just want to laugh.
The hip-hop review... ...in Haiku By Adam Bissen
Lil’ Wayne — Carter III Best rapper alive? Weezy wears Jay’s gilded crown He sells “A Milli”
Nas — Untitled Nas, the most thoughtful Can’t print the original You know the title
Murs — Murs For President Smartest rap record To come from Los Angeles Since, well, Murs’ last one
Madlib — Beat Konducta Vol. 5: Dil Cosby Suite Scale back the weirdness And just blaze to those fat beats Dilla would be proud
Atmosphere — When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold Atmosphere’s best disc Since Slug discovered Friendster But it’s due to Ant
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Mitgee Evers, forever
By Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Gregg “Cheech” Hall has been in dozens of bands — from one-off supergroups to La Crosse’s most beloved lineups — but he still pines for the times with his very first group, Mitgee Evers. For about a two-year period earlier this decade, Mitgee Evers was a dominant force in the La Crosse music scene — writing prolifically, jamming experimentally and filling clubs around the area, even though its members were barely old enough to drink in them. It was a local-grown success. Hall, the guitar player, graduated from Aquinas High School, while bassist Art Hoffman attended Logan, and drummer John Townsend and guitarist Ben Cartwright hailed from Central. They knew each other from house parties and from jamming around for fun, but when Mitgee Evers came together in 2001, they said the musical connection was there from the start. A pity, then, that the group would break up before 2003, but that’s just the way it is with local bands. Townsend and Cartwright would move to Oregon, Hoffman drifted off to Colorado, and Hall would join a succession of bands, including his current gig with the Smokin’ Bandits. Next week, for the first time in four years, the complete Mitgee Evers will take the stage for successive reunion shows at the Joint (Dec. 26) and the Popcorn Tavern (Dec. 27). It will be an opportunity for old fans to catch a show over the holidays or for recent imports to get a peek at a halcyon era of the La Crosse club scene. The four members of Mitgee Evers will probably get something else out of the show: some mixture of nostalgia, creative exploration, and wonder at what might have been. “I think the songs that we wrote back when we were 20, 21 were better than — err, are as creative as — the songs I’m writing now,” Hall said this week, earning laughs from the two bandmates who joined him for an interview at the Second Supper office. “For real, that turned out to be some of the best music that I’ve ever written — ever. That’s why we keep playing these gigs around Christmas around town, because that shit was awesome! Why let it die?” During their two-year run, Mitgee Evers wrote 17 original songs — which was impressive given their age, and appreciated, considering the reams of cover bands that currently play around town. Hall said the songs came out so well because the band was young and had
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no expectations around it. Even at 21-years-old, Hall displayed uncommon wisdom as a lyricist while the other band members introduced complex instrumentation for songs that ranged from blues to bluegrass to reggae to psychedelia. “It’s great to have original music to play. That kind of was a draw for people, too, since they hadn’t heard songs like that before,” said Hoffman, who would later join a number of La Crosse bands, including a stint with the Smokin’ Bandits, and currently plays mandolin with Earthbound. Although Mitgee Evers disbanded five years ago, a number of their original songs still live on in the setlists of other local groups. The Smokin’ Bandits, in particular, have made many Mitgee Evers songs their own — including fan favorites “Liberty Street,” “Steve,” and the iconic-for-La-Crosse “Flyin’ High” — but Sterus and Super Deece have also played their songs in concert. Townsend, who currently drums in an Oregon rock band with Cartwright, chuckles at the staying power of old Mitgee Evers tunes. On Sunday, his first night back in La Crosse, he attended the Popcorn Tavern’s annual Christmas party and saw four musicians he’d never met cover “Flyin’ High” during an open jam. While there have been sporadic reunion concerts since Mitgee’s original breakup — all of them in the weeks around Christmas — next Friday and Saturday night’s shows will be the first reunion featuring all four original members. “I think a lot of people still remember us,” Townsend said. “We still had a great turnout for that last (reunion) show. It was cool to see the people that remember this band that played once upon a time and that no longer exists singing along to the shows, joining in on the different parts.” With many old fans returning to La Crosse this week, band members hope to recreate the scene of those early Mitgee Evers shows. It was a different era then, when live bands could pack houses downtown nearly every day of the week. Some of it had to do with Mitgee’s light show — which Hoffman dubbed “a back alley psychedelic spectacle” — but the tunes also sounded fresh, as the band tried to introduce some new musical element each week. But even after rising up the Midwest jam scene with the Smokin’ Bandits, Hall still thinks of Mitgee Evers as the most talented group he’s ever been in. He raved about Cartwright’s chops on the guitar and called himself the band’s weakest link. He said it felt natural to grow up together, write music together, and wondered what would happen if they had stayed together for more than 24 months. “I’ve been around. I’ve heard Fat Maw, and I’ve heard Down Lo, and I’ve heard all these bands,” Hall said, carefully searching for words. “The Bandits are awesome, but I really think that Mitgee Evers could have been — if we were still together this day from the day we started — I really think we could have been huge. That’s no lie. That’s no exaggeration from the truth at all.”
Sunshine Policy Reunites, LOLZ! By Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com 'Tis the season for reunion shows, evidently, and my friends' band from high school is no exception. Back in the early-'00s, Sunshine Policy ruled Logan High School. They played ska and oddly prog-ish punk and grew into a regional act when the octet relocated to Madison. Although they released their debut album Striving For Normalcy in 2004, Sunshine Policy would play its final concert two years later, saying goodbye with a show at the Warehouse. But on December 27, the band will return for a one-time reunion at its old stomping grounds, headlining a five-band bill at its favorite Pearl Street club. To hype the show, I decided to catch up with my old friend Courtney Klos, saxophonist for Sunshine Policy who now plays in the Minneapolis ska band Sajak. Courtney and I have been friends since high school, so it seemed natural to converse in our old medium of choice: AOL Instant Messenger. For the record my screenname is PetesBrotherPete, and his is jonnyganas (ahh...high school). This conversation was edited for length, but the spelling and grammar are original. PetesBrotherPete: so are you ready for this medium-melding interview? jonnyganas: born ready PetesBrotherPete: i've always kind of wanted to do one on instant messenger. sure shortens up the transcription process.
jonnyganas: haha, I suppose it's a little less work for you PetesBrotherPete: yeah, and i didn't even have to shower. jonnyganas: even better PetesBrotherPete: plus, i really think the AIM format really adds to the throwback feel of the sunshine policy show. jonnyganas: true, the band was born in the Instant Messenger boom of 1999 PetesBrotherPete: ah, those were happier times. everything looked so sunny and bright. jonnyganas: yeah, we didn't have cell phones, but we had AOL. And dial up. PetesBrotherPete: ska hasn't died, has it? jonnyganas: I really don't think you can call it dead if there are still people making ska music, right? I mean we live in a world where if something is dead, it ceases to exist. So until we live in a world among zombies, no, ska isn't dead. PetesBrotherPete: it's sort of like what the RZA said: PetesBrotherPete:"How could hip-hop be dead if Wu-Tang is forever?" jonnyganas: true dat PetesBrotherPete: but that's not what i came here to talk about... PetesBrotherPete: I came to talk about the Sunshine Policy! jonnyganas: damn straight jonnyganas: Sunshine Policy is back, baby.
see Sunshine, page 27
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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Great Northern Porter Summit Brewing Company St. Paul, Minnesota
Gettin' Shuggy with it
Oh hi, right now I'm listening to music off of the website www.gbh.tv. GBH is the place I go about once a week to educate myself on what's new in the world of music in the attempts to keep tabs on what the trendy kids are listening to these days. Consider it my way to avoid getting old and be relevantly hip. They have mp3s you can download, and review some albums, but I pay that stuff no attention. I go there to watch music videos. They take the legwork out of finding new music and separate the wheat from the chaff with impeccable taste. This site is fluffy, faddish, and fun in the way that good pop music tends to be, but hip at the same time. While it is somewhat posturing to be so up to date on the next new thing in music, I nonetheless dip my toe into this facade anyways. They have a strong emphasis on dancepunk bands that American Apparel hipsters in big cities are listening to like LCD Soundsystem, Justice, MIA, Hot Chip,
Daft Punk, and all the numerous clones that followed in their wake. Besides the dance happy groups listed above, popular indie rock favs such as Radiohead, Beck, Bjork, Portishead, Sigur Ros and TV on the Radio show up as well, as do popular rappers such as Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and Gnarles Barkley and even a few guilty pleasure pop hits from singers such as Katy Perry and Beyonce. A huge part of my attraction to this site has to do with the amazing quality and creativity of the directors of these videos who crank out some top-notch visual imagery. But enough of that, this column is for music talk. As presumably familiar as the above names are, the majority found on this site most likely won't be, at least not yet. Give them time. Until they are, feel free to update the music section of your facebook profile with the bands you find on here so you can let everybody who lurks your page know how cool you are.
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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Minnesota doesn’t get a whole lot of love from this corner of the newspaper, for biases both geographic and gustatory. It’s not that Minnesota doesn’t have good breweries (Surly is excellent), that its bad breweries are over-hyped (Schell's is slighted), or that its standard breweries fail to meet its needs (most states would love to have a Summit). No, I mostly avoid reviewing Minnesota beers because La Crosse retailers rarely shelve anything new from the land of loons. So until someone starts importing mass quantities of Surly (email adam.bissen@secondsupper.com), I gotta show more appreciation for the Summit Brewing Company. And seeing as it’s zero degrees outside, I’ll begin with the most wintry of Summit’s year-round fare, the appropriately named Appearance: 9 Great Northern Porter. Aroma: 7 Although it’s recently been relegated Taste: 9 to the rarer end of the beer spectrum, Mouthfeel: 8 the porter was once the drink of choice Drinkability: 6 of the British Empire, and Summit’s version wisely defers Total: 37 to those traditional
roots. It pours an inky brown color — ruby when held to light — with a long-lasting head that foams three fingers thick. Toasted malts dominate the nose, although there’s some pepper notes and less chocolate than you’d find in most American porters. The traditional flavor continues with the first sip: dry and creeping across the tongue in the understated English fashion. Although it’s mostly flavored by malts, the grassy hop blend gives a good compliment, and there’s a jarring nip of sour right before the finish that’s too good to be accidental. Though the dark color and “Northern” brand would suggest a heavy beer, this porter is actually medium-bodied and sits gingerly in the mouth. The finish is once again dry but lingers on with a vaguely coffee aftertaste. In retrospect, this isn’t an especially wintry beer, but it sure is a well-crafted one. It’s got a great color, a great presence, and a great finish, so to those ends it is a Great Northern Porter — especially since no Wisconsin version can top it. — Adam Bissen
Cult Classics Drop Dead Fred (1991) Directed by: Ate de Jong Starring: Phoebe Cates, Rik Mayall, Marsha Mason Written by: Elizabeth Livingston, Carlos Davis, Anthony Fingleton This is my favorite movie. No question. I’ve loved this movie ever since I was 11, when its joy came primarily from the ridiculous idea of a child robbing her own house, at the prompting of her crazed imaginary friend. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate the grown-up bits, which show the former child selling out and falling into a miserable life. Elizabeth’s husband is a beautiful dick who screws around, and her mom is a psycho megabeast who storms back into Elizabeth’s life after the husband splits. The grown-up is forcibly returned to the family house, where she discovers an abandoned jackin-the-box which releases her imaginary friend from his prison. Once freed, Drop Dead Fred, a magnificent creature of wild orange hair and leprechaun green suits, destroys everything in sight. He smears dog poop on chairs, sinks a houseboat while playing pirates, and removes muscular winos from their togas. Drop Dead Fred is one of the greatest comic madmen of all time, and without doubt the king of the imaginary friends. The film’s narrative shuffles between the child and adult Elizabeth’s dealings with Drop
Dead Fred, and to be honest, Fred’s misadventures with young Elizabeth will always be the most fun part of this film. The figment’s effect on the grown-up is purposely awkward, illustrating how much Elizabeth has forgotten since the days when her imagination wreaked havoc. However, the scenes depicting those halcyon times are acts of insane happiness, with the kid giving herself completely to Fredness and dancing in his clouds of Cornflakes Disease. This manic glee, while being delightful to watch, also gives a great sadness to the point in time when Fred gets locked away and Elizabeth slides into the gray world of manners. Consequently, the broken adult to come from this grows more sympathetic as Drop Dead Fred continues to ruin her life and save her soul. Rik Mayall, who gained fame in English television for his various twit roles – the most notable of these being the Cliff Richard worshipping college anarchist in The Young Ones – is absolutely perfect as a figment of imagination. His Fred prances, and sneers, and smashes, and punches Go to Hell Herman in the face – all with a sarcastic majesty that gives the film an overwhelming, childish joy. From the moment I set eyes on him, Drop Dead Fred became one of my all time heroes, and even though I’ve grown up, I still love him with all my heart. — Brett Emerson
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I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "Circular Logic" — we keep going around and around. By Matt Jones Across 1 He played the grandfather in "Little Miss Sunshine" 10 ___ avis (unusual species) 14 One who doesn't mind feeling the pinch 15 Planet inhabitants? 16 Mark Morrison R&B hit of 1997 18 Cube in a container of pork and beans 19 ___ amis 20 "Un momento, ___ favor" 21 Had more than a feeling 23 Herb used in Mexican cuisine 28 Home of d'Artagnan in "The Three Musketeers" 32 Qatari ruler 33 Breakfast mishap 36 Mazda Raceway Laguna ___ (Monterey racetrack in operation since 1957) 37 Genetic messenger material
38 "The Pillars of the Earth" novelist Ken 40 "___ blu dipinto di blu" ("Volare" alternate title) 41 "___ not have sexual relations with that woman" 43 Bucket at the the-
ater 45 "Don't ___ me, bro!" (2007 catchphrase) 46 Sean Preston's mother 47 February birthstone 49 Use as a quote
53 Yahoo's Jerry Yang, until late 2008 54 Dorm supervisors, for short 57 Public regard 58 Movies like "Star Wars," e.g. 64 Fix some paragraphs
Hour y p p a Daily H pm 6-8 -Sat n o M Open
65 TV title sung after "Ain't we lucky we got 'em" 66 Food bank containers 67 Youthful status Down 1 "That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays ___ pinball!" ("Tommy" lyric) 2 It may be ordered with extra foam 3 Sch. that's home to the Sun Devils 4 "Cheers" exclamation 5 Spotty problem 6 Greek letters that look like P's 7 Zapp Brannigan's assistant, on "Futurama" 8 "Was ___ das?" 9 Degree in math? 10 "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" band, with "the" 11 Rented pad 12 DVR remote button 13 Pose a question 16 John-John's uncle 17 Smog watchers: abbr. 22 Chicago-based
cable superstation 23 Fuel mining site 24 Bee or beetle, e.g. 25 Bulwer-___ Fiction Contest (yearly contest involving deliberately awful opening sentences to novels) 26 Sch. with a Houston campus 27 Dental hygiene brand 29 Grp. that oversees liquor and Lugers 30 Visit 31 Fireworks attraction, perhaps 33 Water filter brand name 34 Free up a river's flow, maybe 35 Go wild 39 Three, in Torino 42 Picks up on 44 "The city that never sleeps," for short 48 Tilling tool 50 Like some verbs: abbr. 51 See 62-down
Answers to Issue 143's "Come on, get it right!"
52 Pre-album samplers: abbr. 54 Foxx who played Sanford 55 Blue chip, perhaps 56 Make Kool-Aid 58 Triple ___ (liqueur variety) 59 BlackBerry, e.g. 60 Insurance worker: abbr. 61 Anonymous surname 62 With 51down, bur-
lesque dancer and Marilyn Manson ex Dita 63 John's "Pulp Fiction" costar ©2008 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0392.
Crosse a L e u n ve 114 5th A
Celebrate the turn of 2009 New Years Eve
$1 Taps Til’ January 1st (Midnight)
21
December 18, 2008
Happenings classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing. This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st. SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew). Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre. 16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.
GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you. For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick! (Just kidding, that’s not legal.)
Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.
ongoing events SOCRATES CAFE
Every Monday Acoustic Cafe Winona, Minn. 8 p.m. Philosophical discussion group YOGA
Every Tuesday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse approx. 7 p.m. All ages, skill levels welcome Donations gladly accepted FIGURE DRAWING
Every Wednesday
performances Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
HAY RIDES AT THE ROTARY LIGHTS
ICE FISHING DERBY FOR THE FAMILY
La Crosse Community Theatre
December 23
January 10
Riverside Park Downtown La Crosse www,rotarylights.org
Pettibone Park Lagoon, La Crosse 608-789-7533 9:00 a.m. -11 a.m. City of La Crosse Park & Rec Department brings you the 2009 Winter Ice Fishing Derby! Registration fee is $3.00. Bait is provided. Prizes for age groups 11 & under, and 12-17. Hot chocolate. Raffle. No kid leaves empty handed. Equipment available. Sponsored by Ace Sportsland of La Crosse & la Crosse Area Bassmasters.
December 12-14 and 19-20, at 7:30 p.m. December 14, 20 and 21, at 2:00 p.m. Virginia is an eight-year-old girl wondering if Santa Claus is real, who writes a letter to the editor of the New York Sun in 1897. Based on real events, the play is narrated by the editor of the Sun and puts the wonder back into Christmas from the views of a child and adult,
Green Bay Street Studio La Crosse greenbaystreetstudio.blogspot.com 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. cost is $5 ($3 for members and students)
A Christmas Carol
WINONA AREA PEACEMAKERS VIGIL
The Commonweal’s imaginative take on this classic brings to life the characters, sights, and sounds of Scrooge’s world, and his ultimate choice to liberate himself from a terrible fate. Rediscover the spirit of the season, share the joys of kinship, and celebrate with us! Tickets are $25.
Every Thursday Central Park Winona, Minn. 4:30 p.m. POETRY READING
Every Sunday Bluffland Bloom & Brew La Crosse Begins at dusk Open mic reading, come to read or just to watch. Free and open to all ages. COMMUNITY HARVEST
Every Sunday Private home, email for details Winona, Minn. 2 p.m. Free food and talent HATHA YOGA
Every Tuesday & Thursday 5:30-6:30pm All levels. Walk-ins are welcome. Please bring own mat or towel. $3 per session, due each class. PRIVATE MUSIC LESSONS
The Pump House, La Crosse Clay Riness is currently accepting students for guitar, fiddle, mandolin, and music theory lessons. Private lessons are available at the Pump House for a fee of $17 for a half-hour session and $34 for a full hour. Time slots are available to accomodate school and work schedules. A weekly 30-minute time slot is recommended for children. All students must register for four weeks of lessons at a time.
upcoming events upcoming events
Commonweal Theatre Lanesboro, Minn. through December 22, 7:30 p.m. No performances on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.
upcoming events LA CROSSE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA — HAPPY HOLIDAYS
December 19 - 20 Viterbo University Fine Arts Center www.lacrossesymphony.org 608-783-2121 7:30 p.m. $35/$19 WINE GUYZ CHAMPAGNE & CHOCOLATE EXTRAVAGANZA!
December 20 Wine Guyz 122 King Street, La Crosse 608-782-9463 www.wineguyz.com Noon-4:00 p.m. $10 gets you samples of 6-8 champagnes paired with great gourmet chocolates- and don't forget our decadent chocolate fountain! THE BETHLEHEM EVENT
December 20 - 21 English Lutheran Church 1509 King Street, La Crosse 608-784-9335 www.englishlutheran.org Noon-5:00 p.m. Visit a recreation of the city of David at the time Christ was born. Free admission. Free will offering accepted.
ECUMENICAL SERVICE AT THE ROTARY LIGHTS December 24 Riverside Park DowntownLa Crosse Phone:608-784-9993 www.rotarylights.org 5:30 p.m. Service will take place in the Lights Castle in the park.
BRIDAL EXPO BI-STATE WRESTLING CLASSIC
December 29 - 30 La Crosse Center Doors open to the public at 9:00 a.m. Visit www.lacrossecenter.com for a complete, detailed schedule and price listing, or contact Steve Eggerichs 608-792-2628. CHILDREN'S MUSEUM HAPPY NOON YEAR
December 31 Children`s Museum, 207 5th Ave S La Crosse 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. 608-784-2652 www.funmuseum.org Children can help bring in the New Year with all the excitement and fun without having to stay up late. Children will get a chance to make noise makers, get their faces painted, and participate in the countdown. The event is free with admission to the museum. The museum will be open until 3 p.m. New Years Eve and will be closed on New Years Day. SKYROCKERS NEW YEARS EVE FIREWORKS DISPLAY
December 31 608-792-0763 www.skyrockers.org From atop Grandads Bluff since 1929, this is the longest running community sponsored fireworks display in the U.S. Show times are 6 pm and Midnight. SPORT AND MILITARY GUN SHOW
January 2 - 4 La Crosse Center 608-789-7400 Browse the latest guns, parts, accessories, ammunition, knives, militaria, and more. Exact times not yet specified. Call the center for more info.
January 11 La Crosse Center Call 608.782.1062 for more info. MIDWEST FARM SHOW
January 14 - 15 La Crosse Center 9:00 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. Open to the public. FREE admission, FREE parking, FREE entertainment. Gundersen Lutheran provides health clinics of interest to farmers and family members including hearing tests and skin cancer screenings. The Midwest Farm Show provides display for antique tractors and farming equipment and has been the site of one of the world's biggest collections of farm toys. Farmer attendance: 5-7,000. WWE RAW & ECW LIVE
January 17 La Crosse Center 7:30 p.m. $16.50, $23.50, $31.50, $41.50 Regular cameras are ok! John Cena vs. Former World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho for WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP The amazing” Rey Mysterio will have to use all of his high flying offense when he takes on “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton The “Big Red Machine” Kane “Self Proclaimed Wrestling God” JBL World Tag Team Champions CM Punk & Kofi Kingston World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry WWE Intercontinental Champion William Regal Finlay w/ Hornswoggle Cryme Tyme WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix The Miz and John Morrison Kelly Kelly and many more WWE Superstars
Trying to get the word out about your event? It's simple! Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Email copyeditor@secondsupper.com and receive a free listing.
22
Festivus, cont.
Future Sons by Noah Singer
but believe me, I know a thing or two about having a good Festivus! OBAMA:You celebrate Festivus? SANTA: Well, in a sense…I mean, what do you think I do for the rest of the 364 days were I don’t have to deliver presents? I let Mrs. Claus know exactly what she’s done wrong, every day. Once I build up enough courage from my good ol’ friend Johnny Walker, I let her know just how much she has erred in the past…usually with my candy cane, if you know what I mean (winks). I’m here to tell you folks to end your petty squabbles and turn to the main spirit of the holiday. Plus, I’ve got my reasons for stopping in… McCAIN: Well, what are you doing here? SANTA: I’m here to give each and everyone of you what you deserve. For Barack, here’s a Magic 8ball. Believe me; it is going to give you much better insight than you will get from your cabinet of rivals that you’ve put together. Remember to keep shaking. For John, here’s a stress ball and a free subscription to an anger management class. I’ve been paying close attention to you all year, my son. You can’t keep going on like this, angry at the world; angry for the hand dealt to you. For God’s sake, try some Yoga or something, Jesus. And for you Sarah, here’s an Etch-a-Sketch! Remember to shake it when you’re done! He he he… And with a flash, Santa vanished away. OBAMA: Wow…that was…interesting. McCAIN: A friggin’ stress ball!? Santa, you commie piece of shi… PALIN: Hey guys, maybe Santa was right! Maybe we shouldn’t be so pissed at each other all the time…after all, we’re all still the same type of politician…you know… OBAMA, McCAIN, PALIN: Backstabbers! The three break into laughter and the party begins again with a renewed vigor. Another Festivus has come and gone, and all of our guests have learned a little bit more about themselves and the liberating qualities of alcohol and pent-up emotions. The scene ends with a Biden trying to get a young aide to get under some mistletoe with him, but winds up fruitless. Apparently, Festivus miracles only go so far.
23
December 18, 2008
COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 4735 Mormon Mormon Coulee Coulee
Sunday
Monday
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.
Alpine AlumniInn
$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong
Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.
Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos
W5715 Bliss st. rd. 620 Gillette
110 3rd st.
Barrel Inn Beef & ave. Etc. 2005 West
1203 La Crosse st.
Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst. 1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.
Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st. 306 Pearl st.
Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st. 620 Cass st.
$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager
2 for 1 cans &
Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49
2.25 for mini pitcher
free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza
CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st. 1101 La Crosse st.
Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st. 223 st.
16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks
$1 Shot Menu
1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:
during Monday night football
meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers
$1 off apps closed Happy Hour All Day 20 wings and 5 miller lites for $15
Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis
114 5th ave.
417 Jay st.
Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers
$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25
The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave. CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.
5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close
sec, orange juice
712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers
$2.50 beers 7 - CL
$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,
closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 7 starts at 7 p.m. p.m.
Import Import night night starts starts at at 77 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl & & Karaoke starts Karaoke starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl starts starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1
5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30
11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs
5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25
2-8 p.m. AUCE wings $5
$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buySee one $2.50 Premium Silos ourcherry Ad for allbomb of $2.50 Three Olive Mixers the for great$1 deals get one
$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles
$2. Goldschlager
3 p.m. - midnight
grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD
Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9
hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor
Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6
soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich untilBuster 3 p.m. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $3.50 Price $1.25 High Life bottles Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza Wristband & Wristband $1.50 rail mixers
party!
night
HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM
Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas
10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50 rail Pitchers mixers Kul Light $5 $2 Guinness pints
Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.
Wii Night
$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps
6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics
7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only)
$1.25 beers & rails
$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers
$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers
$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers
FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee
chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00
football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer
HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00
Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00
Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda
1908 Campbell rd.
Huck Finn’s Howie's
127 dr. st. 1128Marina La Crosse
9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m. Happy10 Hour
Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2
108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes
$1 Bazooka Joes
$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon
50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails
10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7
$2.00 Captain Mixers
Great drinks!
50
Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items
$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs
upsidedown cake
chicken Topless primavera Tuesday
Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.
$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs
WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY buy one get one Domestic $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Night After Class $3 beerMIXERS ('til 6 p.m.) Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK RING TOSS NIGHT beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails Holmen Meat Locker Jerky BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers shot mixers, featured 3 Rings for $1 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS Raffle $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless Karaoke live DJ Wristband Night buy one, get one free $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke FLAVORED Kul Light BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials BOTTLES $5 COLLEGE I.D. BACARDI MIXERS wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK
football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00
N3287 County rd. OA 1904 Campbell
$4.50
beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy
Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita
$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites
pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15
7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake
7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers
chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car
Fox Hollow Goal Post
Dad's Beer"
for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps
Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place
N3287 County OA
batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your
HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7
$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb
5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.
Saturday
Buck Buck Night Night starts starts at at 66 p.m. p.m.
Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st. 411
Friday
$9.00
9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles
shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free
chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials
Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details
HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6
HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM
$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS
free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00
25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY
Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price
free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal
$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price
HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.
$5 AUCD
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter
5 p.m. - 10 p.m.
EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans
Karaoke
GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs
9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy
HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps
24
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food
LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.
JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.
The Joint 324 Jay st.
Legend’s
Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics
$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game
4 - 8 p.m. Bacardi $3 doubles/pints
closed
223 Pearl st.
The Library 123 3rd st.
$2 Guinness all day
come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did
closed closed
Nutbush
Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY
50 cents off all drinks 7-CL
$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints
every day $1 shots of Doc
$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila
All your fav drinks at low prices
HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
closed
$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL
4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75
WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS
AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS
KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles
Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney
5 - 7 p.m. 2-4-1 happy hour
great drinks!
$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands
HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6
3264 George st.
Players
Price by Dice
214 Main St
Ralph's
In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N
Ringside 223 Pearl st.
Schmidty’s
Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6 open 11 - 6 $2 Screwdrivers and $2 Domestic Bottles w/NFL Sun. Ticket
3119 State rd.
breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
Shooter’s
$1 Shot Night
120 S 3rd st.
Sports Nut 801 Rose st.
Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.
Top Shots 137 S 4th st.
Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.
LA CRESCENT
Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.
WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.
Godfather’s 30 Walnut st. 25
2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG
happy hour all day
open 4-9
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.
Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.
chicken parmesan sub $6
Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6
open 4-9
double $6.50
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.
Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY
happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.
LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens
Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers
Buck Burgers
Tacos $1.25
$4 domestic pitchers
$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99
HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers
$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1
$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks
$1 Point special bottles
$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness
$1.75 domestic bottles
$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday Wednesday
$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer
8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans
$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday Wednesday
closed
Southwest chicken pita $5
HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!
$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots
Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas
2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.
$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs
Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1
2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close Fantasy Football stat party!
family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age
any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)
10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers
15 cent wings
$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers
$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12
$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs
Thursday
Friday
Thursday $1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night
Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish
$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)
3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours
$1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers
Fish Fry $6.95
$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints
Friday
Saturday
$2.50 Three Olives Vodkas $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
$2.50 Bacardi Drinks $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs
December 18, 2008
Ã
Entertainment Directory 12/18 - 12/31
Ã
Thursday, December 18
December 20, continued
Thursday, December 25
December 27, continued
Kreekside Adam Palm
7:00
Players Live DJ
10:00
Kreekside Irene Keenan Jr.
7:00
Legend's Live DJ
Bluffland All ages Open Mic
8:00
Popcorn Tavern Moon Boot Posse
10:00
Bluffland All ages Open Mic
8:00
Sunday, December 28
Ringside Comedy Night
8:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
10:00
Ringside Comedy Night
8:00
9:00
Legend's Live DJ
10:00
Dan’s Place Live DJ
Dan’s Place Live DJ
The Recovery Room Live DJ Players '80s Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson Popcorn Tavern Teague Alexy
Sunday, December 21
10:00
Nutbush Live DJ
10:00
Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam
10:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
10:00
Players Live DJ
Popcorn Tavern Eric and Al
10:00
Howie's The Bad Downs
9:00
George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam
9:00 10:00
Tuesday, December 23 Nutbush Live DJ
Popcorn Tavern LAX All-Stars
10:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
Popcorn Tavern Paulie
10:00
Legend's Live DJ
Alumni Brownie's Open Jam
10:00
The Joint Moondawg and Bombay
10:00
Monday, December 22
Popcorn Tavern Shawn's open jam
Friday, December 19
9:00
The Recovery Room Live DJ
9:00
10:00
10:00 10:00 10:00
9:00
Players '80s Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson
10:00
Popcorn Tavern New Grass Revue
10:00
Nutbush Live DJ
10:00
Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam
10:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
10:00
10:00
Alumni Brownie's Open Jam
10:00
Popcorn Tavern TBA
10:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
10:00
Library Karaoke
9:00
Legend's Live DJ
10:00
Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.
9:00
Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.
10:00
Second Supper vol. 8, issue 144
Popcorn Tavern CLOSED
10:00 10:00
6:00
The Joint Mitgee Evers
Howie's Pastel Black
Nighthawks Proto Melei
The Warehouse The Disabled, Here's Johnnie
10:00
9:00
Players Karaoke
Tuesday, December 30
10:00
Library Karaoke
10:00
10:00
Popcorn Tavern Paulie
Saturday, December 20
10:00
Popcorn Tavern Shawn's open jam
9:00
Players Live DJ
The Warehouse Sunshine Policy, Cockney Americans, Hot Fudge Monday, Ralphed, Scars Within 6:00
Coconut’s Live DJ
George St. Pub Adam Palm’s Open Jam
10:00
8:30
The Joint Smokin' Bandits with Chubba Claus
10:00
Nutbush Live DJ
Howie’s Comedy Night
9:00
Popcorn Tavern Som'n Jazz
Friday, December 26
Saturday, December 27
9:00
The Warehouse This Building, Windsor Drive, Now and Forever, After the Storm 6:00
Monday, December 29
Wednesday, December 24
10:00
10:00
Howie's Flashback (and holiday party) 9:00 Players Live DJ
10:00
Popcorn Tavern Mitgee Evers reunion
10:00
Coconut Joe's Live DJ
Wednesday, December 31
Howie’s The Freezers
10:00
The Joint New Years party with Moon Boot Posse and Shoeless Revolution 10:00 Coconut’s Live DJ 10:00 Players Karaoke
10:00
Popcorn Tavern Burnt Brownies
10:00
Alpine Inn Pat Mc Curdy
10:00
10:00 26
Sunshine, cont. from p. 19
jonnyganas:: We haven't played together since August of 2006, and here we are a week before our Warehouse reunion show. PetesBrotherPete: so in a way, you're like Jake Blues when he gets out of prison to meet up with Elwood. jonnyganas: yeah, it's a real blues brothers moment. Our drummer, Bill, texted all of us and was like "Sunshine Policy reunion in December?" and we all texted back an emphatic "YES!" jonnyganas: it was a process, we had to first make sure we had enough people to make the reunion worth it jonnyganas: then we had to book the show
jonnyganas: not everyone had instruments available, so we had to scrape together whatever resources we had to get instruments jonnyganas: I have to go pick up a baritone sax from Logan Middle on Tuesday PetesBrotherPete: so, what, are you going to go into the band room and find the weakest looking 12-year-old? jonnyganas: I didn't even need to use strongarm tactics....I know a guy who knows a guy and was able to borrow one for winter break jonnyganas: I know that some of us haven't even played our instrument since our farewell show PetesBrotherPete: uff. hopefully it won't sound like the logan middle school band. PetesBrotherPete: (no offense to my LMS readers) jonnyganas: haha, we are praying all goes well. With us, we always were able to put on a good show regardless of the circumstances. PetesBrotherPete: yeah. you guys did always excell at banter. jonnyganas: laugh with us or at us, we'll have fun either way PetesBrotherPete: that's pretty cool you got the whole band back together again, considering how you split off across the country. jonnyganas: yeah, I'm not sure how it all worked out. Tim is coming back from Brooklyn, Justin was out in Oakland, Bill was in Las Vegas, I am in Minneapolis, a few of us were in Madison PetesBrotherPete: are you worried about re-learning the material? jonnyganas: My reaction to the reunion was
first a sense of joy and excitement. Then I felt nervous that even though I had been playing my saxophone regularly, re-learning the old songs would be tough. I feel less nervous now that I have gone over them. jonnyganas: I remember being nervous when SP first playing shows, but I have played live all over the midwest since those days, I feel a lot more comfortable in front of a crowd. PetesBrotherPete: well, it's pretty cool to have you back at the warehouse. jonnyganas: that place was always our homebase, so we are really happy Steve was nice enough to let us come back and play there. PetesBrotherPete: it should be like a time warp jonnyganas: It's cool to be one of the many legendary ska bands to play there. Considering I spent a lot of time in high school seeing bands play there, I feel like I've come full circle. PetesBrotherPete: yeah, have you heard back from your old fans? jonnyganas: we get myspace and facebook messages from people once in a while. Last weekend, I was at a ska show at a record store in St. Paul. The singer of one of the bands playing came up to me and was like "hey man, you were in Sunshine Policy! You guys kickass!" As I perused the CDs at the store, I saw that "Striving For Normalcy" was for sale there too. I'm always surprised, but lots of people from all over were big fans. PetesBrotherPete: whoa, that's pretty cool. PetesBrotherPete: i was reading your "farewell" post on your myspace page, and you
mentioned how you're big in france. jonnyganas: haha, yeah, we got some email from a radio station over there that said they had us on regular rotation over there. Our music knows no bounds, I guess. PetesBrotherPete: it's probably because you're all a bunch of america-hating pacifists. jonnyganas: you're right, make ska not war. PetesBrotherPete: so any big goals for your reunion show? jonnyganas: Well, we have a lot of copies of "Striving For Normalcy" collecting dust, so we are planning on giving everyone who comes to the show a free copy PetesBrotherPete: mines going straight to ebay. jonnyganas: haha, we aren't seeing any money from our music, especially in this economy. PetesBrotherPete: well, you could go like old times and reininvest all your ticket revenue into post-show meals at Perkins. jonnyganas: that's not unheard of, and the idea has already been brought up...I believe we are going to accept donations!
Downtown La crosse, above fayzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s - 782-6622
y t r a P e v E s r a e Y w Ne
Watch The Ball Drop With Us!
$2 $1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots
Saturday 27
Pabst Tappers, Domestic Bottles, and Rails!
$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50
$1.75
Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM
$2.00 Dr. Drinks
$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight December 18, 2008
La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar
Pick The Pros Every Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers
223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse/782-9192
! s y a d s e u T 2 $ W/ $.50 Taps $2 Appetizer Menu Wing NIght Wednesdays
Wing Of The Month
Honey BBQ $1 PBR/PBR Light
Come Watch The Ball Drop at La Cro sse’s Finest Club!!
- - - - New Years Eve Party - Goodies For Ever yone!
!
SecondCHECK Supper vol. 8, issue 144 ALL OUT
Free Champagne at Mid
--
night
OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE 28