Second Supper 145

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Volume 9 Issue 145 January 8, 2009

PREDICTIONS 2009

-fromCongressman Ron Kind Mayoral Candidate Dorothy Lenard Second Supper Writers & You!

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305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

Student Editor: Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

Brandon Fahey Shuggypop Jackson Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer

Sales Associates

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Jacob Bielanski Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Ashly Conrad Brett Emerson Emily Faeth

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Friday January 16th and Saturday January 17th

Brandon Scott Sellner 25 year old Blues Phenomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Two night engagement at The Helm on 1/16 & 1/17

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Table of Contents Maria says goodbye to America

6

Brett deconstructs the calendar concept

7

Ron Kind talks about life in La Crosse and Washington

8

Dorothy Lenard discusses why she's running for mayor

9

Pearl Street Speaks: What are your predictions for 2009?

11

Jacob visits...Sparta!

12

$1.00 Vodka Drinks

$1.00 12 0z Taps DTB, Spotted Cow, Honey Weiss

$1.75 Bottles And Cans Of Coors LIght

cover design by Jenn Bushman

January 8, 2008

Social Networking

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NAME AND AGE: Shane Johnson, 27 BIRTHPLACE: Rochester, Minn.

CURRENT JOB: Bartender at The Helm DREAM JOB: Owning a bar and coaching high school football

Things Second Supper writers accomplished during their two weeks off

COVETED SUPERPOWER: Never to die

TELL US A JOKE: Do you have a weed eater?

DREAM VACATION: a little island off of New Zealand

3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Guns n Roses - Appetite for Destruction, Ben Harper Live @ Mars, Beatles - White Album

FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Maid Rite FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: The Helm 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Boiler Room, Boondock Saints, Ice Age CITY OR COUNTRY? Country 3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: I don't read books.

IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Cowbell WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Some money, some things to stay awake, and some things to mellow out HOW DO YOU KNOW BRENT? He's a regular at the bar who makes me run his stupid credit card all the time.

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1. Read books in a single sitting 2. Wrote letters to our grandparents 3. Listened to La Crosse’s best DJ, Brandon Fahey 4. Raged Chaseburg 5. Worked more hours at our other jobs 6. Saw an epic chick fight 7. Fell on the ice, a lot

Things due to be cool in 2009 1. Argyle sweaters 2. Aaron Rogers 3. Whatever movie Christian Bale is in 4. Smoke-free bars 5. Mustaches (thanks, Brad Pitt!)

6. Dr. Dre’s next album 7. This guy Ways to tell the future 1. Magic 8-Ball 2. Tea leaves 3. Infiltrate the Freemasons 4. Tarot cards 5. Spirit quest 6. Carnac the Magnificent 7.Reasoned analysis of historical trends and contemporary data (just kidding)

Do this WHAT: 2009 Winter Family Ice Fishing Derby WHERE: Pettibone Park Lagoon WHEN: Saturday, Jan. 10, 9 a.m. - 11 a.m.

COST: $3 No matter how unbearably frigid or depressingly long the winter season can get here in the Frozen Tundra, every hot-blooded Wisconsinite has — at least!

— one glorious, snow-encrusted memory from childhood. Though it's now too common as an adult to curse the slushy sidewalks, the slippery roads, and the snotty noses, I still find myself reminiscing about back when winter hadn't yet become a pain in the ass; when the season only meant snow forts, sledding hills, and ice fishing. Of course, I have my own vivid memory of trucking across Tomahawk's Crystal Lake with my dad, my younger brother and an uncle or two, wrapped so intensely in an itchy wool scarf that only my eyes were subject to nature's nasty conditions. Our sole purpose? To snag a few of the area's tastiest crappies. Though I have no recollection of actually scoring any finned friends on this particular expedition, I do remember the camaraderie of close family and an elated feeling of importance knowing I was serving a purpose by ceaselessly skimming slush out of that deep hole in the ice.

Luckily, the La Crosse Park & Rec Department is here to help all of us jaded individuals rekindle our long-lost love with winter. Along with Ace Sportsland and La Crosse Area Bassmasters, they invite you to bundle up the family and head out to the 2009 Ice Fishing Derby!

Don't have a tip-up or ice auger? Don't worry, they've got the necessary tools covered. Didn't bring any minnows or smelt? They'll spot you the bait too. Hot cocoa will also be available, so you're sure to stay warm as you keep an eye on that flag. And if your kids happen to snag the coveted wall hanger? Prizes will be awarded in both the 11-and-under age group, as well as the 12 to 17-yearold range. And if that crappie proves too elusive, like my experience 15 years ago where I scooped up more ice than fish, your child won't walk away empty handed. Gifts and prizes will be awarded to every kid, though what they'll really appreciate in the long run is an opportunity to participate in one of Wisconsin's most beloved and tradition-packed pasttimes. — Briana Rupel

Letter from the Editor Now that Second Supper has been printing “straight news” (our term) for about the past 16 months, we’ve started to encounter the tricky obstacle of annual issues. Back when we were a satire rag, we never really got hung up on producing basically the same issue each week. Sure the jokes changed slightly, but we could produce the paper in our sleep — or worse — and a lot of us found the format to be creatively limiting. That’s why we flipped the script and hemmed to the pattern of covering a different topic each issue. Sure, that came with the unfortunate drawback of having to think about new stuff all the time, but when you don’t get paid a lot of money, creative enrichment can be a nice tradeoff.

Then — miraculously? paradoxically? defying everyone’s expectations? — we made it a whole year in the new “serious” format. If ever there was an opportunity for a commemorative issue, that would’ve been it. But as far as I remember we just barreled forward with the usual amount of back-patting, doing nothing out of the ordinary except introducing this Letter from the Editor space where I mentioned the anniversary in my final sentence. Had we been Rolling Stone, we probably would’ve printed up four commemorative covers, a fold-out holographic retrospective, 3-D glasses, and introductory essays from Bono and P.J. O’Rourke. But Second Supper didn’t look to the past that issue — we forecasted the protests at the Republican National Convention — and we won’t be looking backwards this week either.

You have in your hands Second Supper’s second (annual?) predictions issue. One year ago we made a Predictions 2008 paper, and following the beloved but historically duplicitous Festivus Issue, we’ve now produced two “annual” papers in a row. Don’t worry; it’s cool. Both of these topics are great. But we strive not to repeat copy here at Second Supper, so after interviewing La Crosse mayor Mark Johnsrud, outgoing Onalaska mayor Jim Bialecki, La Crosse County Board Chairman Steve Doyle, and La Crosse Area Visitors and Convention Bureau director Dave Clements for the ’08 Predictions issue, we needed to draft a new roster for this year’s predictions team. I hope you’ll find congressman Ron Kind and councilwoman Dorothy Lenard to be suitable successors.

If you couldn’t gather from the cover image or this scatterbrained introductory piece, the goal of this issue is to investigate and make reasonable assumptions about 2009. After reading over my interviews with Kind and Lenard, I realized I didn’t always stick to prophetic questions, but neither politician is a psychic. They’re just smart people who’ve been paying attention, so who cares if the questions veered back to ’08. We can’t predict the future if we don’t understand the present, and we won’t understand the present if we continue rushing forward and ignoring contemporary society. So for this paper at least, we took the time and talk like grownups and made the interviews twice as long as they were in the past. Cheer up, goofy Supper satire fans.We’ll do it for the lulz in future editions.We are just projecting a sound, professional image for the first paper of 2009. And since it’s an annual issue, we only have to act this way once a year, right? — Adam Bissen

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

Adios, America

By Maria Pint

maria.pint@secondsupper.com Oh, how I hate the cold. I was born and raised in the Midwest, yet every winter I always seem to be taken by surprise when the subzero temperatures roll around. When the mercury drops to anything below freezing, you will find me complaining; you can bet on that.

This winter especially has been brutal; I can only imagine what kind of chilly fun January and February will bring. The roads have been ice rinks, it has snowed more often than not, and the wind has been really messing my hair up way too often. See, I told you that I whine a lot in the winter. I just don’t like it and that’s final!

But this column is not a time for me to complain, it’s a time for me to gloat. Oh yes, I will sadly be absent from the blistery Midwest for half of the evil month of January. Be jealous reader, be jealous!

Not only am I leaving the frozen state of Minnesota, but I am leaving the country altogether. Tomorrow morning, I will be boarding a flight to beautiful Peru; Machu Picchu here I come!

About this time last year, I was getting ready to go to India with my mother and two sisters. It was very dirty and crowded, but I loved every minute of it; I guess you could say I caught the “travel bug” when I was there (and perhaps malaria, but we’re not sure yet).

So one of my sisters and I decided that we wanted to take another trip over my J-term this year too; my mother and other sister were not invited if you catch my drift. We both decided we wanted to go somewhere in South America and Peru seemed like the ideal spot. We’ll be there for fourteen days, hitting up three cities for sure and I can hardly wait!

That said, I do have my concerns. I’m somewhat worried about the weather because we’re going to be in cities that are at high eleva-

tions and I think it’s technically the rainy season there right now.

I really hate being cold (as noted above) so I’m really hoping that it won’t be freezing and drizzly the whole time. Yeah, a girl can dream, right?

What concerns me more, however, is the fact that I’m going to be alone with my sister for two whole weeks. We love each other and all, but we’re somewhat different in many ways.

For one thing, she’s 11 years older than me. I would also describe her as a little bit more “granola” than me. For example, the girl shops almost solely at REI which is an outdoorsy/sporting goods type store in the cities.

She wears a lot of non-cotton clothing and she actually thinks it’s cool that they make pants where you can zip-off the legs to become shorts. To put it bluntly, she’s a fashion disaster.

She also really likes nature, which is perhaps the most worrisome aspect of taking a trip with her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the great outdoors and all, but I also love indoor plumbing too. She wouldn’t even let me pack a travel hairdryer for Pete’s sake! She’s a cruel Granola Girl alright.

Thank goodness she was a little tardy in planning though, because I narrowly avoided spending four days and three nights hiking the Inca Trail up to Machu Picchu. Sleeping in a tent for three nights straight? Lots of hiking at a high altitude during the day? And no running water the entire time? I shudder at the thought.

We were originally planning on making this death march up the mountain but she didn’t make reservations in time. Tear. Now we are taking a train up and I am ecstatic to say the least. I would have done it to make her happy (yes, I’m that nice of a sister) but let’s just say I’m not disappointed.

She wanted to plan our time in Cusco and the Sacred Valley, which I’m sure means lots of day sweet hikes for me, but didn’t care much about what we did in the capital. We spend three days in Lima at the end of our trip and apparently I am in charge of the daily activities the entire time. She knows not what she has done.

I just got done laying out our time in good old Lima and one entire day is dedicated to shopping; she is going to hate it. But I figured that she’s not going to hold back on planning activities that she’s going to really enjoy, so why should I? Compromise is essential; I bought Keens for her so she has to shop with me.

Over Christmas my family was taking bets on how long we would last in Peru, that is, before we kill each other. I, on the other hand, have a way more positive look on it. Sure we’re different, but we’re still sisters. We grew up together and if we could survive sharing one bathroom when she cared about what she looked like as a teen, we can survive Peru.

But the better question is, can Peru handle us? I’ll keep you posted, and in the meantime, wish me luck!

the Calendar Man

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com There is a question of ornamentation, one that each person asks themselves when scrounging for more clutter to add to their already pig-styed lives. What does this new trinket say about me, my goals, my aspirations, my personality? What will the neighbors, friends, and strangers think?

The internal answer to these musings is usually a social one, heedless of the products one buys or, indeed, whether the neighbors, friends, or strangers lay eyes upon the acquisitions.We are creatures on a world overflowing with life, and moreover, we are social creatures who have taken the interact craft to absurd — and now, literally electrified — heights. The urges to please and the paranoias that come with the danger of difference and social rejection are colossal. Even when no one or nothing is watching us, someone is watching us, even if it’s only ourselves, playing the part of everyone else, buying Wonder Bread instead of Generic.

We have compensated, with delusions of individuality and narcissism. We are urged with church-group sincerity to be ourselves (which, being alive and all, is kind of difficult to shrug off). Like the slogan used to sell Scion automobiles states, we have become “united by individuality.” The buzzword of civilized life has become Personalization, outward, evidencedrenched Personlization. It tends to cost money. It always costs time. And its adherents tend to be as individual as Xerox.

An often-overlooked piece of this mob customization is the calendar industry. From as early as Spring, these time markers make their ways into retail stores, propping up the coming year. There are wall calendars which tell the month, desk calendars with pages of daily tearaway wisdom, magnetic mini-calendars for the fridge, engagement calendars to plan the day.

Each form of calendar comes in a multitude of styles, displaying pop culture figures, art, exotic locations, cuddly animals, and of course, tits.

There is altogether too much choice, and not enough time.

People search for calendars with the same distinguished refinement used in purchasing porno. I realized this after taking a long look at

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a series of cuddly animal calendars, with sweet titles like “Just Beagles,” “Cat Naps,” and “New York Firefighters.” When reading such inflexible labels, I envisioned a cadre of wide-eyed, sickly looking men prowling steam dampened streets at night, hunting for their calendar quarries, cruelly discarding Pomeranians, wide-awake kittens, and Jersey hose jockeys.

Demanding such stringent quality in one’s chronography betrays some hidden fetish within the buyer, not a far hop away from toelickers and diaper-wearers. The Anne Geddes calendars, which in keeping with her morbid breed of photography display a sweeping array of ludicrous-concept infant photography (think the Cabbage Patch Kids, as cabbages) are among the most obvious. But the strangeness, the symptom of Personalization, is found far beyond the obvious.

A comparison could be made between calendars and many other forms of entertainments which sell themselves on visuals. Albums, in particular, are famed for using cover imagery to promote the music.Though digital music has greatly reduced the impact of album art, some of their covers are more iconic and notorious than the music itself. This past year, The Scorpions all but shut down Wikipedia in Britain due to a controversy surrounding the posting on the band’s article of the original cover for 1976’s Virgin Killer, which features a naked girl of questionable age.With all due respect to the Scorpions, I’m sure more people remember the album’s cover over its music.

The difference between calendars and albums, however, is that music is able to stand on its own, be its own product. A calendar, art removed, is a grid which counts to 28 through 31.

I suppose the question to ask ourselves is: do we need more than that? For people who are obsessed with time as it is, do the days need spicing up at all — or does this obsession demand embellishments?

The answer, I feel, lies within the problem of art — a word I dislike due to its pretentious, exclusionary connotations. On the surface, it’s easy to dismiss the art world (in its fictional solidity) as grossly overpopulated, fueling this vicarious Personalization with an overload of stimuli. But the problem, as I see it, is that creativity is severely underrepresented. Not enough people are doing it. (Not making it, doing it. That’s important.) Asking what an object in one’s possession determines about that person is a little more justified when the creator and the consumer are the same, or at least on speaking terms. Maybe artsy calendars would make more sense if each person made his or her own. Maybe a lot of creativity would be better served in this way.

But we have stage fright, inferiority complexes, laziness, exhaustion, hecklers, specialists — all weighing us down. So we do nothing, press ourselves on the glass to the outside in search of Personalization, and become lesser People for it.

Greatness comes from great people. So be a great person. Evidence will come, unasked, and you’ll have all the time you need.

I’ve put way too much thought into this.

By the way, my calendar for the year is South Park. I bought it after New Year’s, for 50% off. It doesn’t suit me at all.

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the Kind path RK: Oh, that’s great.

You been going to school in La Crosse then, or what?

there’s going to be a lot of fanfare around that.

This place is going to be an absolute zoo with a prediction of around four million people out there on the mall. You’ve been to Washington before, haven’t you, Adam?

SS: Actually, I have not.

SS: Well, I grew up in La Crosse. I went to college at UW-Madison, but I came back here to get working on this.

RK: Ah, you gotta plan a trip and get out here some time. It’s a neat place to visit, a lot of things to see and do and it’s all free. And if you do, definitely give me a heads up, because we can arrange a nice tour of the Capitol and get you into the White House and stuff like that. So at some point you’ve got to get out here and check things out.

SS:Yeah, that’d be great.

By Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com That Ron Kind, he’s a smoothie. There’s really no other way to put it. For the past 12 years Kind has represented Wisconsin’s 3rd District in the U.S. House of Representatives, but he’s been no stranger to life in western Wisconsin.

Kind grew up in La Crosse, raises a family there today, and still makes the rounds at social gatherings and listening sessions around the district. Representing the more moderate wing of the Democratic Party, Kind has never made a career of shouting from the fringes. Instead, he adopts political positions in line with the traditional burgher/progressive farmer attitudes that predominate in western Wisconsin, and — furthering his career — it’s hard to meet the guy and not like him.Although the following interview was conducted over the telephone while Kind worked Washington on the first day of the new Congress, his charm and political evasiveness were on ample display. Those are just a few reasons why the 45-year-old, 7-term congressman’s name is often brought up as a possible successor candidate for Wisconsin governor or senator, but true to form he stayed unflappable during this conversation.

Staring down a tough 2009, Kind says he just wants to help out the folks back home.

Ron Kind: Hello, Adam.

Second Supper: Hey, how you doing, Ron? RK: Pretty good. Hey, happy New Year!

SS:Yeah, happy New Year to you.

RK: How’s Second Supper doing? You guys doing OK there?

SS: Oh, yeah. We’re doing better than in any year previous.

RK:You know it’s pretty popular.You’ve created quite a buzz about that publication back home.

It’s pretty neat to see. How long you been with it?

SS: I been with it about for about two years, mostly since it dropped the satire.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

RK: Oh, great.

When did you graduate from Madison.

RK: Alright, well why don’t you go ahead and fire away. Is this going to be a kind of Q&A interview?

SS: Um, 2005.

SS: Mm-hmm.

RK: ’05. And where did you grow up in La Crosse?

SS: I actually grew up on French Island.

RK: OK, fire away.

SS: What do you make of Barack Obama’s overwhelming victory in the presidential race last year?

RK: Oh, so you’re a Logan grad?

SS:Yes, I am.

RK: Great, what year was that?

SS: 2001.

RK: ’01, gosh you’re making me feel old. I’m ’81.

I’m 20 years after the fact, but I’m glad to see the old school still standing.You guys are treating it OK. SS: Yeah, yeah. We’ve got that Ranger connection.

RK: Oh, great. So you want to do a piece on what, ’09 predictions or something like that?

SS: Yeah. It’s kind of an annual thing we do. We ask just different newsmakers about what they see for 2009 and some different expectations for the coming year.

RK: Well, hopefully the Packers are going to come roaring back. They’re going to work on their defense in the off-season and make the playoffs again, because it’s pretty pathetic how the defense completely collapsed during the second half of the season.

SS:Yeah, that would sure help the mood of Wisconsin.

RK:Yeah, it would also goddang help the morale across the state. And with everything else going on, we could really use a pickup right about now.

Nah, it’s going to be incredibly busy out here.

We’re out in Washington, obviously. We’ve got the swearing in, and the formal kickoff of the session starts today. Obviously there’s work to be done on the second stimulus package. We still have the fiscal year budget that we need to complete. There’s going to be a really busy month of January shaping up already. The inauguration is coming up January 20, and obviously

RK: Well, it was a clear signal from the American people that they are ready for change and a new direction. I think that’s what presidentelect Obama is going to try to deliver. I think he’s put together a very solid team that he’s surrounding himself with, a lot of pragmatic problem solvers, which is exactly what we need right now for this country. But his overriding message is one that’s very important: As difficult as things seem now, we can figure out a way to come together as a nation and end this silly partisan sniping that’s been going on for too long. There’s absolutely nothing we can’t accomplish, and he’s really making that effort, I see, with some of the appointments he’s been making, some of the meetings he’s been having with Republican leadership.These problems are too big for one party acting alone to solve, and I think his approach is going to be one that reaches out and tries to obtain the best ideas wherever they may come from.

SS: Do you feel at all like you’re on the cusp of history now — perhaps more than Newt Gingrich’s 100 Days Congress and closer to FDR’s 100 Days Congress?

RK:We’ll let historians write this chapter when it comes due, but there is an incredible amount of work and stakes are high. We’re entering into a new phase in regards to our involvement in Iraq, one that’s going to call for a gradual downsizing of our presence in that country.

But we’re also at the same time entering a new phase when it comes to Afghanistan and Pakistan which is very dangerous, and it has not been going well for us in that region. And then at home there’s a saying that you don’t let a good crisis go to waste.

SS: OK. RK: We’ve got a tremendous crisis on our hands with the economy and the financial meltdown. But this also could be a tremendous op-

portunity for the health care reform that we desperately need, not only greater access for every citizen, but important cost containment measures that we have to be focused on. But also an opportunity for a new investment for a new economy that will be green-based, with alternative and renewable energy investment, an investment in clean technology and clean energy sources which could create whole new industries and whole new good-paying jobs for an awful lot of America. We could be leading the world with this new phase of energy development, and I think that opportunity presents itself right now as well.

SS: Is there any consensus in Washington as to what this stimulus package will entail?

RK: Well, it’s so big, and the details are still murky, but I think that clearly broader parameters are being formed. There’s going to be a sizeable tax cut for working class Americans in it, those who are having a hard time making ends meet and could use that money. They’ll spend it, we know, and help stimulate the economy. There will also be some accelerated depreciation and spending allowances for small businesses, since it’s really small businesses right now that are really the locomotive of our economy, and anything we can do to help small businesses at this time will also be very helpful to future growth. You’re also going to see probably a major investment in infrastructure projects that are ready to go, ready to start work on day one. This will also entail more energy-efficient federal buildings, and also the investment in alternative and renewable energy sources. Even though we’ve had a rapid decline in energy prices because of the global recession, we should not be in some false sense of complacency that our energy woes are behind us. They’re not.

SS: There’s already been a lot of talk about infrastructure improvements, job creation programs, different building projects: Could you give some concrete examples of the types of public works projects you could see implemented in Wisconsin?

RK: Well, right now what we’re asking from the states and their departments of transportation is a list of projects that they have had keyed up and ready to go, but because a lack of funding they haven’t been able to move forward on. And so we’re trying to get those lists from the states. What you won’t see in the stimulus package — or at least what I hope you won’t see; I won’t have any final say over it — is specific earmarked projects. You can’t go down that road where individual members are scrambling to get their pet projects included in this spending bill. I think that would be a disaster. It would not be a good allocation of these resources, and we have to be smarter than that.

We’ve got to pass a clean stimulus bill without having members earmark it or put pork barrel projects in it.

SS: With all this talk about economic recovery and job creation programs and infusions of cash in the economy, how to do you think the American farmer is going to be treated?

RK: Well, if you view the American farmer, as

Dorothy Lenard, mayoral candidate I often do, as a form of a small businessman, they’ll be able to take advantage of all of the small business accelerated appreciation and expensing allowances that any other small business will be able to take advantage of, and so they’ll be included in that, with any tax provisions that are included. But we also just passed a farm bill that’s being implemented right now that has certain safety programs in it, so if prices just plummet out from underneath their feet that there’s going to be some programs there to help them survive a difficult time. If there was one bright spot last year, for a while it was farm income. It was up. Commodity prices were up, cash flow was good. The debt-toasset ratio was never better for our producers, for our farmers. But of course with the decline in commodity prices now, too, farmers are going through a bit of a struggle and we need to focus on that as well.

SS: How do you explain to your constituents how the bailout of Wall Street was seemingly passed in just a couple weeks but Detroit automakers went to Washington twice and they still haven’t gotten the programs that they were looking for?

RK: Well, the administration, to the president’s credit, stepped up and did provide a shortterm bridge loan to the automakers. I was disappointed that Congress failed to act. It was obviously held up in the Senate, and the president felt that these industries were too big to allow to fail. It would have devastating throughout the economy. And I don’t know what the problem was with some of the Republican senators who didn’t support the bridge loan, even though they were eager to support the financial bailout package. I guess you’ll have to ask them about the difference.

SS: On the foreign policy front, 2009 started rather ominously with Israel sending troops into Gaza and rising tensions between Russia and Ukraine, Pakistan and India. In this new administration do you expect there to be a different response to conflicts around the globe?

RK:Well, I would hope so.You take a look at the Middle East right now, Gaza has not been going well. It’s a very volatile, very dangerous situation there, and I would hope that the Obama administration would invest some of their political capital early in their term to try to get the Mideast peace process back on track. Too often we’ve seen past administrations wait until the final year or the 11th hour of their administration before they devote any sustained focus to the Middle East peace process, and by then it’s a little too late. And I would hope that the Obama administration takes a much more proactive and early approach to it, because the truth is if there’s any hope for future peace throughout that entire region, it’s going to start with some resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. All eyes are focused on that everyday through the region, and until that gets resolved, it’s going to be very difficult for other things to fall in place.

SS: Now that we’re approaching the six-year anniversary of our invasion of Iraq, do you regret any of your votes to authorize that war?

RK: Well, certainly when you look back, I didn’t feel at the time that the vote on the Iraq resolution was a vote to go to war, the way that the president did it. If you look at the resolution it calls for getting the inspection teams back in Iraq, making sure Saddam didn’t have WMDs, and I felt it was important at the time that we got inspection teams back in Iraq to take a look, to keep an eye on what Saddam might be up to. Once we were able to accomplish that, I’m the one that led the effort in Congress to get the president to slow down and allow the inspection teams just a little more time, because they weren’t finding anything, but of course the president didn’t listen to us at that point. He sent the troops in and guess what — they didn’t find anything. And that was the whole justification for military intervention in Iraq, so I think history is going to have plenty to write about in regards to that chapter and our involvement in Iraq, but I did feel at the time given the information that we had available that it was important to make sure that we have inspection teams on the ground in Iraq to make sure that Saddam did not develop offensive capability in that region or against us.

I was disappointed in how the president ultimately used the authority and the trust that was given to him.

SS: You took nearly 70 percent of the vote in the last election to win your seventh term in Congress. Why do you think western Wisconsin loves you so much?

Second Supper: Six people will be challenging mayor Johnsurd in this race. Why do you think so many people decided to throw their hat in the ring?

Dorothy Lenard: Well, obviously when you have an incumbent and a lot of people decide to run against that person, I would say a lot of people have been unsatisfied with the last four years.

I don’t want to get into a long list of details, but when you run against an incumbent obviously you’re saying you’re not happy with the way things are and the way things are being run.

By Adam Bissen

SS: Seeing the way the council has run the past four years and its relationship with the mayor, what criticisms about the way Johnsrud has handled the city do you think you'd do differently?

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com RK: Well, I’ve always believed that someone who’s representing western Wisconsin has to be very accessible to the people, and that’s what I’ve tried to be in the time in serving in Congress. We’re close to home. [My wife] Tawni and I are still living in La Crosse, raising our two boys. We’re deeply rooted in the community. It’s a place where she and I both grew up and we feel we know pretty well. And I make myself very accessible to people back home with listening sessions and my availability, so I’m constantly getting their input and feedback. I think that people need to know that they can grab their representative whenever they want and weigh in on the issues of the day, but I also believe that Congress functions best when we can find common ground, when we can work in a bipartisan manner, not get involved in these silly partisan disputes that all too often dominate the political process. And I think that’s the type of representation that people in western Wisconsin expect and want to see in their representative, and that’s how I’ve tried to conduct myself — in a civil manner, trying to find that sensible center on policy and develop larger coalitions to get things done.

SS: While we’re in the business of making predictions, do you predict you’ll ever run for a higher office?

RK: You never say “never.” Obviously a lot of public service is being in the right place at the right time. I know what I’m doing now; I enjoy it very much. It’s a great honor to be able to represent the area you grew up in in the United States Congress, especially at a time like this, but we’ll see what happens in the future. There may be some other opportunities to serve the people in Wisconsin.

While 2008 was characterized by massive political mobilization on the state and national levels, local elections get the attention in oddnumbered years.The first Tuesday in April is the time for TIF districts, highway overpasses, and ambulance ordinances to shine. Although voter turnout is usually lower and uncontested races are the norm in many neighborhoods, here in La Crosse we’re looking at a massive race for the mayor’s office. Jim Bloedorn, Matt Harter, Dorothy Lenard, Mick Lesky, Gary Padesky, and Andrea Richmond have all filed nomination papers, challenging incumbent mayor Mark Johnsrud. All seven candidates will compete in a primary February 17, with the top two vote getters squaring off in the April 7 general election. That’s a lot of candidates, but despite Second Supper’s endorsement of wide-open democracy, this didn’t seem like the right issue in which to profile them all.

But we did want to talk local issues, so we decided to interview the only person that emailed us about her candidacy (take note, politicians). Dorothy Lenard, a 25-year La Crosse resident, is finishing her first term on city council where she represents District 8 — which is generally the area east and south of the UW-La Crosse campus. She works as the administrator of Viterbo University’s National Science Division and is a trained forest hydrologist. On council, Lenard may be best known for her work with the Alcohol Oversight Committee, which offered a 19-point plan to curb dangerous drinking in La Crosse and was a natural point of conversation when we met for coffee this week at Jules. Over a decaf latte, she also discussed why she’s running for mayor, how downtown businesses will weather the recession, and why we don't need another road through the marsh.

DL: It’s funny because people say that most of the council members all vote the same; we’re all alike. About 95 percent of any job or any business you’ll agree; it’s the five percent where you don’t agree that’s the important deal breaker. I believe in local government, transparent government. I don’t think that anyone should ever be trying to keep information from others or — how to say it best? Transparency is the word that everyone uses, but basically if you want to change something then you go to the people and you talk about it, you’re open about it.You allow dialog and you allow discussion. To me, being a scientist, you allow study of issues. A leader in a democracy isn’t just supposed to come in and say “This is what I’m going to do and this is how we’re going to do it.” You have to dialog, you have to converse with others, you have to go out and meet with the people, and I would say that’s a huge difference between the current mayor and myself.

Basically, what I’ve been saying is I don’t believe in government by surprise. I believe in government by consensus.

SS: What are going to be your big issues in the campaign?

DL: I think the whole world is kind of sitting at a time of change, and I’m very strong on and have been trying to lead on the council — with others — the sustainability aspect of life. The sooner that we take on the changes in our environment and natural resources and what the use will be, the better off we’ll be and the healthier we’ll be. I think that will be a very strong part of where La Crosse can go.

I think that’s where we can grow. I think that’s see LENARD, next page

January 8, 2008

LENARD, continued where we can be a leader. I also think that we need to look at the city as a whole and protect the inner city of La Crosse.

I do worry that with the high taxes that we have, that people aren’t going to be able to afford to stay in their homes, and there’s a chance that if too many people leave, there’s a chance for La Crosse to go downhill.

I think we’re unique — and, again, I’ve lived all over the United States, and I’ve lived in the big cities and outside the big cities — La Crosse is sort of amazing to me in that you can still live right in the middle of the community.

That’s one of the reasons we came back here. We didn’t have to live with a 30-minute commute to get to work.

For 20 years my husband’s biked to work — way before it was fashionable, because he used to get made fun of a lot. And then when gas got up to $4 a gallon, he was giving a lot of other people at work a hard time, because now there wasn’t enough room for his bike on the bike rack.

SS: For about as long as I’ve lived here, this issue of another road through the marsh keeps popping up again and again. Why do you think that’s such a recurring issue?

DL: You know, I have this discussion a lot with people that are on the end of wanting it. I think they are under the impression that if they have bigger, better roads, more people will come to the community, and I disagree. If you have bigger, better, faster roads, it just makes it easier for people to move out of the city. I’ve got to go to most opportunities for transit DOT studies that have been available. One thing that would help the city would be if there was ever a bypass around the city where trucks that are just really going south to Iowa or whatever, they wouldn’t have to come through the core of our city. So I’m more in favor that if they ever feel that they ever need to take traffic somewhere that they do it more on that end than putting any other road through the city.

Now having good roads and keeping those up, the ones that we have, I think that’s good, making sure that works well, but I wouldn’t support another road through the marsh. I think in the floods — again I’m a hydrologist — but in the floods when people are shocked about some of the things that happen, that’s why those lowlands exist. In the heart of the city, if we hadn’t had the marsh there, somewhere to collect water, we would have had more problems than people had already.

SS: According to economists, the U.S. has been in recession for a year. How do you think La Crosse weathered 2008?

DL: I think actually really well, and I think that is because we are independent, but I think it will trickle down. One of the things I’m most worried about is the state budget being so in deficit.

That’s only going to hurt cities and counties, so I think we will see the effects. But staying independent somewhat — I say that as independence, but with regional collaboration. We’re

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

overserving someone else. Some commonsense things like that for some reason haven’t been touched in Wisconsin, so that would be one I think, for sure. That’s why I really would like that second alcohol task force.The drunk driving is a state law, but I would hope that people look at that.

SS: Like elevating the penalties?

DL: Yeah, the fact that it’s just a traffic misdemeanor for the first offense isn’t really done anywhere else.

SS: Well, the Journal-Sentinel ran a front page editorial with like 30 things that have to be changed. Other editorial boards have said that we need to have new state laws. With your work on the Alcohol Taskforce, what kind of changes have you found easy to implement? What have you found to be hard or ineffective? somewhat independent from national issues, but with local food sources, not every region of the county has that, so we’re lucky that we do have some viable industry going on related to things that people need. I’m from Michigan originally, lots of family there, and they’re already at 10 percent unemployment there, and I think it’s very scary — lots of people losing their jobs. When you have an economy that’s based on just a couple items and one of them is cars and then the car industry doesn’t do very well then it really hurts everybody all at once.

I think we’re more diversified than that, with some independent business, so it really hasn’t hit us too hard.

SS: Second Supper is kind of a downtowncentric newspaper. We’re located down Pearl Street, and we like it here because there are a lot of independent businesses. In 2008, I know some retailers around here have had kind of a tough year. How would you encourage more development or more successful commerce here in the downtown area?

DL: First of all, I think you have to look for new kinds of shops and retailers. I still think that we can do more on anchoring a few other local businesses in the downtown, that keeps promoting downtown as the place to be. I did talk and hear that it wasn’t as bad of a holiday season as some of them had expected, which is good. I do try to encourage everyone I know to buy local and support local business. Nowadays I think the Internet came along and everyone said “Wow, I can get it for $20 cheaper on the Internet,” to ship it right from Pakistan or whatever. But by the time shipping occurs, how much cheaper really is it, and how much of a damage is it to the environment to have everyone shipping from all over the world all the time? So supporting the businesses that we already have and helping them expand. In attracting new businesses, because a lot of times when you get the out-of-town businesses, they don’t stay because they’re not invested in the community. So helping local people to either create business or expand what they have — like I’ve been happy that Howe's Jewelers

moved into Brueggers and has fixed that up and made it look good. That corner was sad for so many years. There’s a lot of good developers that are trying to fix up downtown and create space. I’m not sure exactly what businesses people would want to get into. Like the LED Store and the Bloom and Brew that went in — hopefully they can make it. That’s the thing, people in the community if they want to see downtown thrive, they’ve got to come downtown and shop.

They’ve got to support it, so I think it’s education of each other, encouraging our friends to shop locally.

SS: Do you think we have too many bars downtown?

DL: Actually, I’ve worked on that a lot. The state sets a cap on how many you can have, and we’re actually under that. You know, I like to go out. I guess I don’t worry about that, too much. I think we’d like to see more bars move towards drinks and food — it’s a little bit healthier to have that — but it’s OK to have just bars, too.

SS: La Crosse has had its own issues with drinking, rather public ones, but it was kind of brought back up on the state radar last year. I know the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel did a rather extensive series, Wasted in Wisconsin, and a lot of statewide editorial boards are kind of parroting those ideas and calling for big decisions. Is there anything in La Crosse’s experience in trying to change alcohol culture that you think it can offer to the rest of the state?

DL: Well, one thing that we did is have a “sober server” law for La Crosse. I think when you can be drunk behind the bar but you’re not supposed to be drunk driving, there’s a problem there. It’s kind of a common sense thing, so I would hope that the state of Wisconsin would look at something like that. Most states have something that requires that the servers be sober. Not everyone likes to hear that, but you’re dispensing alcohol and we’re worried about people being overserved. If someone’s already overintoxicated themselves, they’re probably not going to make the right decision about

DL: It’s easy to implement — it’s a lot of work over time — but education. I think that we sometimes shy away from just being frank about alcohol. We don’t talk about it enough with a straightforward manner, with young people especially. We kind of just don’t want them to drink, and I think that’s ridiculous. I think you should just be factual about it. When friends can help friends learn about drinking, older students teaching younger students, how to have just a few drinks, get a buzz, know your body weight, being a little bit more scientific about it and knowing what you can handle. There’s a certain point where you’re drunk enough that you don’t even enjoy it anymore: So why do it? I think what we do is we don’t talk about it enough, that we’re afraid to. I have run into, and I don’t agree with it, if you have alcohol at an event that somehow you’re condoning alcohol abuse. I don’t believe that. I think having alcohol and just treating it responsibly is how we should lead by example with other people, especially younger people. So I never shy away from the fact that “Oh, we shouldn’t have alcohol at that event because for some reason young people might get the impression that alcohol is good.” I think they already probably know it’s enjoyable, so why don’t we just teach them that you can go and just have a couple drinks instead of never having alcohol at events and then no body ever teaches limits.

SS: Voters are going to have a lot of choices in February and April. Why should they vote for you?

DL: I’m a positive, hard-working, energetic, very ethical leader. I’ve been a community volunteer since I was young, before I was in politics. I’m passionate about making La Crosse survive the next decade in a positive way. I’m about the people. I enjoy working with the people, so we’ll definitely do more outreach into the community. My platform has been to listen, learn, and lead, so I’ll listen to what the people are saying, learn new ways of doing things — Where are we going to go? What do we need?

—then I’ll lead.

10

What are your predictions for 2009?

Claire Stobb, 9 Student at Emerson Elementary

Kelsey Krzyzanowski, 23 Music aficionado at Deaf Ear Records

"After dogs get to the Humane Society, they're normally put to sleep a week and a half after they're put in. I don't know what'll happen, but I hope it gets better. I also hope puppy mills become illegal."

"People will finally figure out that marriage already is gay.

And by gay I mean retarded.

And by retarded I mean stupid."

Bill Stobb, 38 English professor at Viterbo University

Rick Deckert, 40 Construction worker

"People will become more connected to their communities, in part because they'll be compelled to do so economically. Local economies and cultures will be more active; people will have to rely on each other more."

"My predictions for 2009? Life is going to be good. I'm going to make some money and trick some pretty girl into giving me a kiss on the cheek."

Gordon Webb, 33 Self-employed wood butcher "I betcha they'll get some great beers on tap down at the Bodega. Anything else I'd predict wouldn't be happy or optimistic."

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11

(southwestern)

(soups & sandwiches) January 8, 2008

You Can’t Go Home Again: Sparta, WI

By Jacob Bielanski

jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com Ginny’s Cupboard is a perfect example of how high-calorie, high-fat foods coincide greatly with good coffee, good conversation and a cozy atmosphere. On a particularly sunny Friday afternoon, the place is filled with smartly dressed people having relatively intelligent, polite conversation. Being that Ginny’s is located in Sparta, Wisconsin begs the question: Where the hell did these people come from?

As a younger man, I would have classified Sparta as a cancerous polyp on the anus of Wisconsin that is Monroe County; its presence surprisingly wretched, even in relation to its surroundings. Facts would back me up — Monroe County (of which Sparta is the county seat) ranks at the bottom in the state for health, but is among the highest in teen pregnancy; apparently what they lack in quality of life, they make up for in quantity.

As a younger man, I would’ve quickly categorized the bars on its main drag — Water Street — in a pretty straightforward manner.

The Market Square Tavern is the watering hole of what could only be called the local aristocracy. Exactly one block away sits the Amber Inn, a long standing stomping ground for the bottomfeeders. Everything else, from the Breakaway to Slippery’s, constitutes the stomping grounds of various local high school’s graduating classes of the past decade.

I should know — I was class of ’01.

Today, sitting with the Misses and the baby, I am not so quick to conjure such harsh paragraphs. Ginny’s Cupboard is filled with a miscellany of '50s-era antiques that, in any other arrangement, would seem tacky and unrefined; yet here, the eyes are led on a historic and comforting journey through a bygone era of light-bulb driven EZ Bake Ovens, lightly rusted Coca-Cola signs, and lunch menus that include $0.50 grilled cheese sandwiches. The retro décor is nicely complemented by an uncharacteristically forward-thinking philosophy in cuisine — home-baked bread, custom roasted coffees and the greatest cheddar potato soup ever devised (my heart thanks you, Ginny…my waist does not).

As a younger man, I dreamed of those greener pastures far beyond the limits of my municipal prison. Adulthood had not long had its stranglehold on me before I would set out to find something better than “Sparta.” Like many, I would try to adopt a different culture, and become someone that was wholly different — the deep south, eastern Europe, Chicago, anything besides “home.” Even when I came

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

scraping home, a newfound love for Wisconsin forged in my world-traveled heart, I could barely muster the tolerance to be closer than 15 miles to this wretched place.

Thomas Wolfe would write something that rings much more true, “Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America — that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement.” When I was on the move, home was lost in the moment, a series of strange apartment, accents, jobs and cultural quirks. Now, settling in to a “home” in Melrose, I find myself painfully vulnerable to the concept that Sparta was never a wretched place, but rather it was my memory of it, my predisposition to finding only the worst of the horrific town simply to the earn the right to point my finger and say “SEE! I AM better than you!”

Sitting here in Ginny’s Cupboard, I’m beginning to see a picture of Sparta that isn’t blurred by the fog of my past. It looks surprisingly nice, a place where people can make and honest living, get a cheap beer or coffee in the evenings, and head on back to a relatively safe home. On the west end of town, the Northwood Market sells wonderful cheese, meats, produce, and honey — all made, surprisingly, in the immediate vicinity.

Would I recommend the trip to Sparta?

Not really. If you’re heading southeast down I90 from La Crosse, I would stop and get breakfast or dinner at Ginny’s. But Sparta seems to represent that place that we were born to hate — we’re angry at it for not caring more about how much we hate it. But when you do go home again, you’ll find that it’s not your hometown you hated so much, but the guy who gave you a wedgie every day your sophomore year.

Look beyond such trivia and maybe we begin to truly free ourselves of our hometown’s ineffable grasp on our souls. photos by Jamie Peacock

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12

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Film Doubt (2008)

HHH

Director: John Patrick Shanley Cast: Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams Writer: John Patrick Shanley, based on his play

acts is of no consequence to Sister Aloysius— her fight to bring him down is symbolic. It's a crusade in the name of the old guard, conservatism, and tradition. The line between doubt and certainty is consistently eschewed, and seems to exist nowhere but in the characters' own befuddled minds.

The often-frustrating lack of dramatic irony only further accentuates the audience's own doubt. Fierce acting and a very tight, starklyliterary script leave little room for the viewer to assess the situation as it occurs, perhaps necessitating a beneficial second viewing. Streep's perpetually stone cold Catholic school principal flirts with being labeled as a clichéd caricature, showing just enough humanity at the right times to make us believe she still has a soul.

As for Father Flynn, no specific clues or giveaway moments suggest either his guilt or his innocence. As a result, we get a rather ambiguous look into very serious events, and the film — with the exception of a handful of intense, ferociously-acted scenes — retains a relatively flaccid tone throughout. Shanley fails to open up Doubt's world enough to meet the demands of the big screen. That's not to say Doubt fails as a motion picture, but sometimes film isn't the best medium to properly convey themes as deep as those in Doubt. — Nick Cabreza

In 1964, Vatican II was busy remolding the Catholic Church, making it more twentieth century-friendly, and shaping it into the kinder, friendlier, more New-Testament-esque Church I would become familiar with in my youth. Set against the backdrop of a Church on the verge of transition, Doubt seethes with a general tone of mysterious uncertainty, a tone that trickles incautiously into the lives of Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep), the principal of St. Nicholas School, and Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman), the pastor. Doubt scrutinizes the conflict between new ideologies and old with very broad, metaphorical strokes, carefully generating no concrete answers by advertently not focusing on the specifics of the struggle itself.

Instead, Doubt's plot revolves around an extraneous event that may or may not have happened. Sister Aloysius, acting on the observations of Sister James (Amy Adams), accuses Father Flynn of committing unspecified acts with the school's only African-American student. Whether or not Flynn committed the

Bibliophile Nick Harkaway — The Gone-Away World (2008) Gonzo Lubitsch is a son of a bitch.

The cliché about not judging books by their covers may be appropriate in some cases, but when a book’s cover is made of hot pink felt, it’s a safe guess that the author is a different stripe of cat. So it is with Nick Harkaway, whose bold choice of cover conceals even bolder storytelling between hot pink ends.

This is another case of the slow build.

Harkaway’s debut novel spans nearly five hundred pages and myriad tones and moods. Starting in media res in setting up the supposed premise of the story, the book soon jumps back to childhood, where Gonzo Lubitsch’s best friend chronicles life growing up under the shadow of this legendary man. Slowly, the pair returns to the present mission of saving the titular Gone Away World.

Slowly. It is this first half of the book which is the most tedious, detailing the minutiae of Gonzo and Pal with a tendency for digression that rivals Chuck Palahniuk’s most trivia-soaked paragraphs. There are many parenthetical asides, and while the onslaught of information shows that Harkaway’s protagonist is a very well-informed man, it also slows down the plot in ways that aren’t always necessary.

Additionally, there are many italicized words and phrases, which detract from the work in their overuse. In the early part of this book, it seems that Harkaway is juggling twin roles of

13

telling the story of Gonzo and Pal with showing us just what merits attention. The effect is so much literary static, disruptive to the flow of the story. The presentation of the backstory, eventually, does come to make sense within the larger context, but could have been written better and with more economy.

Shortly before the return to the present, the story proper kicks in, and drag is no longer a problem. Pal’s life gets turned upside down by a violent government crackdown, and his immersion into said violent government gives him a central perspective into the semi-end of the world. In the present, Gonzo, Pal, and Company are recruited to save the remnants of humanity from the forces of its own imagination, and it is in this mission where the true scope of the story presents itself. There is a Big Plot Twist, but it is done in such a subtle way that the reader gets pulled into the heartbreak involved, before the twist makes one question the heartbreak’s validity.

After that, it’s all circuses, pirates, ninjas, and mimes. And the mimes are awesome.

Despite my reservations about the story’s first act, this is a very, very, very good book.

Harkaway’s writing is executed with so much joy, humor, empathy, and poetry that when it catches up upon itself, The Gone Away World is, in the most literal sense, utterly fantastic.

— Brett Emerson

Schlitz Original Formula Schlitz Brewery Milwaukee, Wisconsin The story of Schlitz is a story of redemption — or at least I think so. There was a time when this Milwaukee classic was the best-selling beer in the world, but my generation has only known about it as down-and-out swill, if it had known it at all. But Schlitz was born in pre-Civil War Milwaukee, flourished in its many saloons, and became something of an icon after Joseph Schlitz donated thousands of barrels of beer and water to Chicago in 1871 after the city was parched by flames. Sometime thereafter, it became “The beer that made Milwaukee famous.” Schlitz was the archetype for the American working class beer, and it was a pre-Prohibition best-seller and still held a number two market position as late as 1976. Demand often exceeded supply, yet when ownership transferred away from the original Schlitz family, new brewers shortened the fermentation time, included foul additives, and turned a popular beer into something the public considered undrinkable. For the past two decades, Schlitz floundered as a derelict beer or a punch line in a can, but its newest owner — Pabst! — has a plan to bring Schlitz

back from its watery grave: re-brew it and rebrand it with a “Classic 1960s Formula.”

So does the new “old” Schlitz taste any better than the old “new” Schlitz? I really have no idea. I don’t recall drinking a whole lot of it before. This Classic 1960s Formula, though, it’s not bad. It has a darker gold color than most macro lagers, but I’d have to recommend drinking it out of the brown glass bottle (Schlitz introduced that preserving color innovation in 1912). The aroma is fresh, cleaner than I had expected, with light malts and a vague corn presence. The malts are nice, but really it has the same old flavor combinations as any macrolager, though this tastes fresher and the mouthfeel is Appearance: 4 more rich. But unless you’re a sucker Aroma: 5 for nostalgia or marketing — oh, Taste: 6 wait that’s all of us — there’s one over- Mouthfeel: 8 riding reason to buy Schlitz: It’s cheap. I Drinkability: 6 predict that in 2009 you will all be drinking a lot more of Total: 29 this. — Adam Bissen

Bizzaro Masterpiece Theatre Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) Directed by: Edward D.Wood, Jr. Starring: Tor Johnson, Vampira, Bela Lugosi, Dudley Manlove Written by: Edward D.Wood, Jr. In honor of the arrival of ’09, the time has come to discuss what has been widely touted as one of the crappiest films ever made — Plan 9 from Outer Space! This gem is the stuff of legend, its siren song luring countless crapseekers into its alien arms. Ultimately, this notoriety resulted in the creation of Ed Wood, Tim Burton’s own box office bomb (albeit an Academy Awardwinning bomb) which sings the saga of Plan 9’s creator. Wood has been repeatedly ennobled as the worst director of all time, and Plan 9 — above and beyond trannie epic Glen or Glenda, octopus-mangling thriller Bride of the Monster, or later-period skin flicks like Necromania — is his masterpiece.

While Wood’s talent for consistently busting out horrifying cinema may justify the nod as the Orson Welles of crap, Plan 9 is far from the worst movie ever made. Sure, Plan 9 is horribly acted, its production values — fall-over cardboard tombstones, stock footage, and all — are wretched, and the plot is ridiculous. The villainous, grave-robbing aliens apparently hail from a giant tit planet, where only three industries rule: shiny suit factories, spaceship plants, and gay, gay, gay bars.These sassy imperials are ruled

by Bunny Breckenridge, an old queen whose

mugging and eye-rolling are on even keel with a Fred Schneider or Charles Nelson Reilley.

And the executor of the dreaded Plan 9 is a tantrum-prone schlub whose real name – his really, real name — is Dudley Manlove! These are our interstellar overlords!

When the Sassy Pants Squad comes to town, their necromantic ploy to conquer Earth results in three zombies running loose in the San Fernando Valley. Yeah, three zombies. In California. Underwhelming? Redundant? Yes! In Dudley Manlove’s defense, however, what his plan lacks in numbers it more than makes up for in quality. We get Vampira, who does little beyond drying her nails and suffering facial spasms. Tor Johnson, Wood’s Scandinavian beast-man, actually improves through the film as he changes from marble-mouthed detective to bewildered automaton.Yet the king of these stiffs, and really, of the entire film, is the great Bela Lugosi — or rather, the chiropractor hired to play him after Lugosi died. If there is a twisted bone in this film, it is found in seeing stock footage of Lugosi interspersed with scenes of some guy menacing the straights with a cape covering his entire face. Even for an extraterrestrial zombie movie, this is morbid.

Plan 9 from Outer Space certainly ranks as one of the worst made movies ever. But for its legion of flaws, it overflows with absurdist humor and heart. And that, my friends, is worth more than a trillion remakes of Rollerball.

— Brett Emerson

January 8, 2008

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "The Worst of 2008" â&#x20AC;&#x201D; hey, at least I avoided talking about the economy.

By Matt Jones Across 1 Cabinet division overseen by the U.S. Atty. Gen. 4 N, E or W, but not T: abbr.

7 Hit that states "There's no need to feel down" 11 Tuna variety 12 Be flirty with 14 Vast extents 15 "Singin' in the Rain" production company 16 Without a ___ stand on 17 How some people can cry 18 With "The," Entertainment Weekly's pick for worst TV show of 2008 21 "What ___ now?"

22 One of the worst big-name TV casting choices of 2008 (for "Kath & Kim"), according to the website Television Without Pity

25 Lunchbox flask 27 Victim helper: abbr.

28 ___ Valley (San Francisco neighborhood)

29 Passion 31 Bose competitor 32 "The Hills" pair named "Worst Couple of 2008" by iVillage.com

38 Benzoyl peroxide target 39 Separated 40 "This American Life" host Glass 41 Gothic novelist

Intimate Treasures

Radcliffe 44 Junior high health class topic 48 Band with the "Worst Music Marketing" of 2008, according to BusinessWeek 51 Pottery stuff 52 2008 spoof flick that got a rare 0% rating from the website Rotten Tomatoes 54 Contemptible driver, maybe 56 Dog-___ 57 Sickly 58 "___ pay for this!"

59 Shirts' opposites 60 Outdoor goods retailer 61 Doctors who may work with cold symptoms, for short 62 Guinness Book suffix 63 Throw in Down 1 Medium oath...

2 ...and milder oath 3 "Good Times" actor Walker

4 Lo-cal drink 5 "There's more in this letter..."

6 "That's extremely funny!" in e-mails 7 Streisand-as-a-male film 8 Hood rat?

9 Computer core: abbr.

10 "___ Certified" (sticker for an 8down) 12 CNN offshoot 13 Blameless exclamation 14 Philip Seymour Hoffman film of 2008 19 Financial services company with an asterisk in its name 20 Hit head-on 23 "___ you an apology..."

24 Badonkadonk 26 Med. scan 30 Suggestion on a food label: abbr.

31 Old, in Italy 32 Alexander who claimed he was "in

Answers to Issue 144's "Circular Logic"

charge" after Reagan was shot 33 Off-white shade 34 Stopping by just briefly 35 "Wayne's World" director Penelope 36 Gives to the landlord 37 Rowing machine unit 41 Photographer Adams 42 Big D.C. lobby 43 Mr. Potato Head parts 45 Oak Ridge Boys hit with a notable vocal bass line 46 Did

47 It can be covered by a shadow 49 Window box sites 50 One way to kill a vampire 53 "ER" roles 54 Assent on the main deck 55 Dearie Š2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to

Adult Gifts & Smoke Shop

a non

Wi

Downtown Book & Video 72 and 3rd St. 507-453-9031

La

e ross

C

ter s e ch

Ro

Downtown Book & Video Intimate Treasures 220 SW First Ave 310 4th St. Downtown 507-252-1997 608-782-3287

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

14

Future Sons by Noah Singer classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing.

This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st.

SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew).

Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre.

16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.

GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re starting a new classifieds section just for you.

For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick!

(Just kidding, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not legal.)

Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.

15

January 8, 2008

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 4735 Mormon Mormon Coulee Coulee

Sunday

Monday

33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.

33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 8 starts at 8 p.m. p.m.

Alpine AlumniInn

$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong

Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos

W5715 Bliss st. rd.

620 Gillette

110 3rd st.

Barrel Inn Beef & ave.

Etc. 2005 West

1203 La Crosse st.

Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst.

1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.

Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st.

306 Pearl st.

Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st.

620 Cass st.

$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

2 for 1 cans &

Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49

2.25 for mini pitcher

free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza

CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st.

1101 La Crosse st.

Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st.

223 st.

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks

$1 Shot Menu

1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:

during Monday night football

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

$1 off apps closed Happy Hour All Day 20 wings and 5 miller lites for $15

Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis

114 5th ave.

417 Jay st.

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25

The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave.

CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.

5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close

sec, orange juice

712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers

$2.50 beers 7 - CL

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,

closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 33 games games for for $5 $5 starts at 7 starts at 7 p.m. p.m.

Import Import night night starts starts at at 77 p.m. p.m.

Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl & & Karaoke starts Karaoke starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.

Cosmic Cosmic Bowl Bowl starts starts at at 99 p.m. p.m.

11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1

5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30

11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs

5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25

2-8 p.m.

AUCE wings $5

$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buySee one $2.50 Premium Silos ourcherry Ad for allbomb of $2.50 Three Olive Mixers the for great$1 deals get one

$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

$2. Goldschlager

3 p.m. - midnight

grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD

Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9

hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor

Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6

soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich until 3 p.m. $5 beer, wells, & long islands. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $1.25 High Life bottles $1 shots with Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza wristband. $2.50 Jack mixers or HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8Soco PM& lime

Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas

10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50 rail Pitchers mixers Kul Light $5 $2 Guinness pints

Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.

Wii Night

$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps

6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics

7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only)

$1.25 beers & rails

Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita

$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers

$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers

$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda

Huck Finn’s Howie's

127 dr. st.

1128Marina La Crosse

9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m.

Happy10 Hour

Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2

108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails

10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7

$2.00 Captain Mixers

Great drinks!

50

Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items

$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs

upsidedown cake

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

1908 Campbell rd.

$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

$1 Bazooka Joes

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY buy one get one Domestic $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Night After Class $3 beerMIXERS ('til 6 p.m.)

Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK RING TOSS NIGHT beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails Holmen Meat Locker Jerky BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers shot mixers, featured 3 Rings for $1 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS Raffle $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless Karaoke live DJ Wristband Night buy one, get one free $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke FLAVORED Kul Light BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials BOTTLES $5 COLLEGE I.D. BACARDI MIXERS wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK

chicken Topless primavera Tuesday

Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

$1 Bazooka Joes

beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy

football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00

N3287 County rd.

OA 1904 Campbell

$4.50

$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs

7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake

7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15

for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps

chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car

Fox Hollow Goal Post

Dad's Beer"

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7

Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place

N3287 County OA

batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your

$1.50 rail mixers

party!

$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb

5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.

Saturday

Buck Buck Night Night starts starts at at 66 p.m. p.m.

Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st.

411

Friday

$9.00

9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles

shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free

chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials

Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY

Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price

free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal

$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price

HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

$5 AUCD

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

Karaoke

GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps

16

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food

LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.

JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.

The Joint 324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics

$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game

4 - 8 p.m.

Bacardi $3 doubles/pints

closed

223 Pearl st.

The Library 123 3rd st.

$2 Guinness all day

come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did

closed closed

Nutbush

Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY

50 cents off all drinks 7-CL

$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

every day $1 shots of Doc

$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila

All your fav drinks at low prices

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

closed

$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles

Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney

5 - 7 p.m.

2-4-1 happy hour

great drinks!

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6 open 11 - 6 $2 Screwdrivers and $2 Domestic Bottles w/NFL Sun. Ticket

3119 State rd.

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Shooter’s

$1 Shot Night

120 S 3rd st.

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.

Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

17

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

happy hour all day

open 4-9

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

double $6.50

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens

Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

$4 domestic pitchers

$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

closed

Southwest chicken pita $5

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close Fantasy Football stat party!

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours

$1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers

Fish Fry $6.95

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints

$1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night

Friday

Saturday

$2.50 Three Olives Vodkas $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs

$2.50 Bacardi Drinks $2 Cherry & Jäger Bombs

January 8, 2008

Ã

Thursday, January 8

January 10, continued

Kreekside Irene Keenan Jr.

7:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Ringside Comedy Night

8:00

Legend's Live DJ

10:00

Howie's Karaoke

8:00

Sunday, January 11

Dan’s Place Live DJ

9:00

The Recovery Room Live DJ

Popcorn Tavern Som'n Jazz

9:00

Players '80s Night w/ Shuggypop Jackson

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Raw Brownies

10:00

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam

10:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Just A Roadie Away...

10:00

George St. Pub Dave Orr’s Open Jam

9:00

Tuesday, January 13

Friday, January 9

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

The Warehouse Stephen Jerzak, Swimming with Dolphins, Fighting Aurora

Alumni Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Sterus Coconut Joe's Live DJ Legend's Live DJ

10:00 10:00 10:00

Players Live DJ

6:00

10:00 10:00

Popcorn Tavern Bottom of the Barrel String Band 10:00 Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

Acoustic Cafe

Fri., 1/9 Sat., 1/10

Wonderful Super Duper Delicious Winona Variety Show WSU PAC

Sat., 1/10

Red Grammar (kids concert)

SMU Page Theatre

Tues., 1/13

Body of War (film)

WSU Stark Hall

Tues., 1/13

The Journey Back (local film)

Historical Society

Wed., 1/14

www.myspace.com/orange_pearl

t!

Date Nigh

Join Us Jan. 22nd From 6-8pm

Wednesday, January 14 10:00

Red Fox Grey Fox, Thumbelina, and more!

Ed's (no-name) Bar

6:00

Saturday, January 10 The Warehouse Gloria

27,069

10:00

10:00

Players Live DJ

Open Mic

Monday, January 12

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's Open Jam

Winona population

Nutbush Live DJ

The Joint Zetus Deamos w/Thundersnake

Ã

Entertainment Directory 1/8 - 1/14

Sample the Salon - We’ll Show You The Latest Hair and Make-up tricks!

Howie’s Comedy Night

8:30

Library Karaoke

9:00

Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.

9:00

Coconut’s Live DJ

10:00

Players Karaoke

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

Got a show?

Let us know!

We'll put it in, yo. copyeditor@secondsupper.com

Drinks and Hor d’oeurves, Prizes Every 15 Minutes!

Including 20% Off Anything You Can Fit in a Basket! $15 Per Couple or $10 Per Person ($30-$50 Service Value) (everyone will get 2-3 mini services)

Corner Of 3rd and Pearl

Your community owned natural foods store 315 Fifth Ave. So. La Crosse,WI tel. 784.5798 www.pfc.coop

open daily 7 am–10 pm

organics • deli with vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free selections, fabulous soups & interesting sandwiches • fair trade coffee & tea • bakery • specialty cheeses • local products • fresh, local, & conventional produce • wine & beer • vitamins • cosmetics • health & beauty • floral • housewares and so much more ...

18

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Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

What Do You Call A Minnesota Viking With a Superbowl Ring?

A Thief

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times $2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots

Saturday 19

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50

$1.75

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight January 8, 2008

La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar

r!

Ba ts or Sp s ’ se os Cr a L t a s f of y a Pl Come Watch The NFL Pick The Pros Every Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers

223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse/782-9192

! s y a d s e u T 2 $ W/ $.50 Taps $2 Appetizer Menu Wing NIght Wednesdays

Wing Of The Month Teriyaki Buffalo $1 PBR/PBR Light This Saturday! Every Saturday Til Concert

Win 2 Tickets to See

Toby Keith At The La Crosse Center 1.31.09

CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 145

20